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"I'm telling you, Ivan, today's the day!"
"Sure it is, Miz. I believe you." The sound of Ivan's voice echoes through her phone speaker into the room, as Mizi sorts through a pile of hairpins to find the best one.
"It really sounds like you don't, though." Mizi pouts, picking up her phone to get closer to the microphone. "But I'm telling the truth. I'm going to ask her out today, I swear it!"
Maybe the heart one would be best? It is a confession, after all. Or maybe the star? Sua reminds her of the north star, a beautiful guiding light. That might be a little too much information to indulge for right now if she's just asking her out, though. It needs to be something simple but eye catching.
"I hear you. It's just..." Ivan's voice trails off, and Mizi's attention averts to his hesitation.
"Just what?!"
"I'm sorry, but you can't blame me for being a little unsure. This is the fourth time you've set out to do it." The door shuts in the background of Ivan's side of the call, and Mizi is promptly reminded of her lack of remaining time. There are bigger fish to fry at the moment, though.
"Well..." Mizi says, embarrassed. "My words just keep getting caught in my throat, you know? She's so... ethereal, Ivan, she's beautiful! It's hard to stay calm around her! How am I supposed to keep my cool when the most perfect girl ever is right in front of me?"
"Mizi," Ivan's voice is deadpan, a sure sign that he's almost done dealing with her spiel. "You're around her almost every second of every day. You talk to her constantly. Surely you've already managed to figure out how to be calm around her."
"It's different!" She insists. "I'm not nervous when we're just talking, but telling her how I feel is a big step up from that! I'm just... scared."
"Of?"
"Of her saying no, Ivan!" Mizi emphasizes the 'no', stretching it out so her friend can understand.
"Is that really the worst thing in the world, Mizi? True love wouldn't go away if she says no. And your feelings are the real deal, right?" Ivan questions.
"They are." Mizi replies immediately, determination in her voice.
"Then use this as a way to express your feelings for her, rather than asking for an answer. Just tell her how you feel, you never know what could happen."
"That's..." She considers, hand finally clutching the perfect hairpin. "Actually really good advice, Ivan. Thanks!"
"Anytime, Miz. Now, it's about time for you to leave, is it not?"
"Oh, shoot!" Mizi exclaims. She takes a careful second to slide the pin into her hair— a jellyfish, because Sua said it suited her— before grabbing her bag and dashing out of her room.
It's go time.
—
Sua is already waiting by Mizi's desk by the time she walks into school.
She looks absolutely gorgeous today, her hair in a low ponytail and the tiniest hint of lip gloss that made her lips look shiny and soft and wow maybe Mizi shouldn't be staring at her lips so intensely right now. "Sua!" She calls, shaking herself out of her stupor.
"Hi, Mizi," Sua replies, quiet and warm as always. "Happy Valentine's Day," she adds, offering Mizi something— a bag? Of cookies?! And they look homemade!
"Oh," Mizi says lamely, at a loss for words. "Thank you so much, Sua!" She smiles her brightest grin, and she's even more elated when Sua smiles back. Mizi doesn't see Sua use this smile often, at least with other people. It always makes something inside of her feel right, feel correct. It's her favorite sight to see.
Oh yeah! Mizi plops her bag onto her desk and starts rummaging through it (only after she carefully set down the baggie of cookies, of course). The night before, Mizi had tried to make Valentine's candies for the first time in her life.
The first batch had been a little bit of a disaster, but luckily she knew an entire one person (other than Sua) who knew how to bake! Over call, Till had to correct nearly every step Mizi had initially taken, but the final product was something she knew she never would've managed alone.
When she finally finds them, she pries them from her bag and brandishes them for Sua to see.
"Here, for you!" She exclaims, a dizzying feeling coating her stomach when she notices Sua's cheeks start to pinken when she sees the candies.
"These are... for me?" Sua questions. "You made these?"
"Yup!" Mizi answers, swinging her bag to the ground and moving to sit in her chair. "It was my first time baking, so I hope they turned out okay," she laughs a little, rubbing the back of her neck. As she sits, she catches sight of Ivan and Till shooting her matching thumbs-ups.
"I'm sure they'll be wonderful, Mizi. I'd love anything you gave me." And that, the kindness and acceptance that Sua always shows Mizi... It makes her heart soar. Mizi smiles until her cheeks hurt, and it lasts well into their lesson.
Until, of course, she realizes her grave mistake.
Oh, no. She gave Sua the chocolates already. Those are what she was going to give to her when she confessed! She can't confess empty handed!
She spends their entire first two lessons racking her brain on what she could possibly give Sua. She had complimented her barrette, maybe she'd like it? But she had told Mizi it suited her, so Sua probably didn't want it for herself.
She could buy her lunch? Cafeteria food isn't the most romantic, though. Hmm...
Lunch! They could have visitors! If she can't leave to get something, maybe someone could bring her something to give her!
She pulls her phone out as discreetly as possible and sends a quick message to her friend, Hyuna. She graduated last year, so there's a possibility she can bring something over on her lunch break.
To: Hyuna ૮₍ ˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶ ₎ა
hyuna!!!! i have a BIG problem! are you free during lunch today?? (ᵕ´╥﹏╥`)ㅅ
Her phone lights up with a message only a few seconds after she closes it.
From: Hyuna ૮₍ ˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶ ₎ა
I am! What's going on, Mizi?
To: Hyuna ૮₍ ˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶ ₎ა
i made candies for sua to confess to her with but i got too excited and gave them to her too early (ó﹏ò｡) is there anyway you could bring some flowers or something to the school?? i'll pay you back!!!! 人´∀｀)
From: Hyuna ૮₍ ˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶ ₎ა
Of course! And don't worry about it kid, I'll cover it ;)
To: Hyuna ૮₍ ˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶ ₎ა
you're the best, unnie (ಥ◡ಥ)
Thank goodness for Hyuna! Mizi risks a glance beside her, to see Sua dutifully taking notes. The sun shines in from the window, tangling in her hair and the too-short strand perfectly framing her face. It makes Mizi feels warm all over.
She's definitely going to confess today.
—
As soon as the bell rings for lunch, Mizi glues her eyes to her phone, waiting on an arrival text from Hyuna. Because of this, she doesn't notice Sua walking over to her, bag in hand.
"Would you like to eat lunch together, Mizi?"
The voice hits Mizi's brain like a reset, all focus now pointed towards her love. "Yes, of course!" She beams, getting up immediately to join her.
After they've both bought their food, Sua leads her out of the cafeteria and towards one of the benches lining the walkways of the school. This one's a little hidden from view, off on a sidewalk leading through the art buildings. It's gorgeous.
There's a smattering of thin trees and carefully kept bushes off the path, and an under the sea themed mural on the outside wall. The sun hits the leaves of a couple of trees just right, filtering light through in a way that makes the scenery look golden. It couldn't have been a better spot.
"I thought it might be nice to get away from the crowded lunchroom," Sua smiles, offering for Mizi to sit first before following. "It's too noisy in there for me."
"This is perfect," Mizi says earnestly, resting her hand on top of Sua's on the bench. A few bird chirps are heard around them. "This is definitely better than the cafeteria. How'd you find out about this spot?"
"Oh," Sua's hand stiffens under Mizi's. "It's, um..." She trails off, her voice nervous and small.
"You don't have to tell me if you don't want to!" Mizi interjects. While she treasures every new fact that she learns about Sua, she can tell her whatever it is in her own time. Mizi will make sure she'll be around her long enough to learn even the smallest details.
"No, it's okay," Sua affirms. "I want to. I trust you."
Mizi absolutely melts at that, unknowingly curling her fingers around Sua's own. Her heartbeat slowly ticks up, but all she can focus on is how Sua looks when she's determined. A little furrow between her brows, her eyes bright and focused. Mizi adds it to her mental catalogue, prepared to hold onto this memory for as long as she can.
"When I first transferred here, I was very nervous about my new surroundings. I didn't know anyone other than Ivan," Sua says with a huff. "And it was all just very... frustrating. I don't know if you know this about me, but I'm not the best at making friends. I was too scared to eat in the lunchroom sometimes, so I would eat here instead. It kind of became my safe place, you know?"
Sua offers her a tiny smile, which Mizi returns. While her heart aches for a past Sua who felt alone and terrified, Mizi was glad that Sua trusted her enough to tell her this. It truly is an honor.
"But then, one day, you came up to me in class and invited me to your table." She continues, bringing her other hand over to play with Mizi's fingers between her own. It takes a lot of mental strength, but Mizi makes sure to keep her attention on Sua's words and not the flips her stomach are doing. "I thought it might've been because Ivan had said something about me needing a charity friend, but you were so genuinely interested in learning about me." Sua looks off in the distance, smile on her face, as if reminiscing on a cherished memory. Mizi's heart beats so fast she's sure it's about to pop out of her chest.
"Your smile, your eagerness, your kindness... It all made me feel so welcome here. You made me feel welcome here. So, thank you. This school, or honestly my life, wouldn't be the same without you."
Mizi truly doesn't know what to say. She'd been drawn to Sua from the moment she first saw her, like a moth to a flame, but she never knew that her approach had changed so much for the other. She's unendingly glad she could do that for her.
"You're the light of my life, you know that?" Mizi blurts, unthinking. Sua turns to her, wide-eyed, and Mizi thinks that maybe now is the time for some damage control. That might've been a little too much.
"I mean— you light up my life! You were just so... You shone so brightly, I just had this instant feeling of needing to befriend you the moment I saw you. And I'm so glad I did, Sua. You truly are my favorite." She finishes, hoping it wasn't too much. These are words she's thought for ages but never had the courage to say.
"You're my favorite too, Mizi."
They sit there for a long while, lunches forgotten, chatting and smiling and sneaking glances when the other isn't looking.
It's only when they're cleaning up to return to their classroom that Mizi remembers she left her phone in the classroom.
Oh, shoot.
—
Upon returning to the classroom, Mizi is quick to dart back to her desk and check her phone. She has several missed calls from Hyuna, and a few texts asking where she is and one in all caps telling her to pick up her phone. There's a brief pause, then another final message.
From: Hyuna ૮₍ ˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶ ₎ა
Alright, I'm guessing you got distracted and left your phone somewhere, so I gave the flowers to Luka to hand over to you during break. He wasn't very happy about it though so do with that what you will
Ugh. Of course Hyuna had to drop them off with Luka and not Hyunwoo. Mizi would much rather meet with Hyunwoo over the break. Luka honestly gives her the creeps, despite being what most girls call a 'dreamboat senior' or whatever. Maybe it's because she knows him through Hyuna and not just school.
Mizi bites back a shudder, and braces herself come break time.
She tries her best to keep her attention on the conversation between Sua and Ivan, but she can't help it when her eyes keep drifting towards the door, anxiously awaiting Luka's appearance. She has a feeling everyone notices her restlessness, as Sua gives her a concerned look and Ivan and Till share a glance towards each other and the door.
Just as she thinks someone is about to call her out on it, their class representative calls out for her.
"Mizi, visitor for you!"
She ignores everyone's searching gazes and jumps up out of her seat and just barely keeps herself from running towards the door. When she exits, she's met with a very bored looking Luka holding a large plastic bag disdainfully.
"Do you have the flowers?!" Mizi whispers frantically, looking between the bag and Luka.
Luka rolls his eyes. "They're in here," he says simply, offering the bag to her. "I didn't want anyone to get the wrong idea."
"Ah," Mizi responds. "That's a good idea."
"It was."
Mizi bites back a cringe at her own tactlessness, and grabs the proffered bag. "Thank you," she says stiffly.
"Don't mention it," Luka shrugs. "You'll just owe me one."
Before Mizi has a chance to respond to that, her attention is swiftly stolen by Sua's presence at the doorway.
"Class is starting soon, Mizi." Sua says blandly, glaring daggers at Luka. Luka stifles a laugh.
"Oh! Thank you, Sua. I'll be right in."
Sua doesn't make a move to leave, so Mizi quickly turns back to Luka and nods her head at him. "I appreciate it," she mumbles, then turns back to return to the classroom.
Once they're back at their desks, Sua immediately turns to Mizi.
"What was that about?" She inquires, faux nonchalance sewn into her voice.
Mizi waves her off. "Oh, nothing. Hyuna asked him to give me something."
Sua seems to relax a little at that, but her shoulders still look stiff. Mizi has to bat away a thought about seeing if a massage would help her be less tense.
She carefully places the bag under her desk chair, and begins to count down the minutes until class lets out.
—
By the time the final bell rings, Mizi is no more than a bundle of nerves.
She robotically cleans up her things, and when she's finished all of her friends are already done and waiting for her by the door. Ivan catches her eye first, and Mizi silently communicates a 'get out of here' message that he seems to understand. He's quick to hook his arm around Till's and drag the grumbling boy down the hallway ahead of the girls.
Mizi and Sua walk in step out of the building in comfortable silence, and by the time they reach the courtyard at the front of the school, Mizi knows she can't put it off anymore. She stops walking abruptly, Sua immediately turning around to check on her.
"Sua," She starts, mustering up all of the courage she has in her body. "I have something to tell you."
"What is it, Mizi?" Sua inquires, voice soft and approachable. It makes the nerves festering in her chest start to dissolve and dissipate, because this is Sua she's talking about. Kind, gentle, sensitive Sua who would never cast Mizi out of her life no matter what.
She can do this.
"I love you."
Earnest as ever, Mizi lays it flat out onto the table. No candies, no flowers, no offered hairpins. And then she realizes exactly what she said, and begins to backtrack.
"I-I mean, I like you, romantically. Well, I do love you, but I know it's a little soon to say that, but yeah. I want to date you, and hold your hand, and, um... kiss you, and all of that. You make me so happy I can't describe it. I feel complete when I'm with you, like I'm just a half of a whole and you're the missing piece I've been waiting for my entire life. So, uh, yeah. I like you, Sua."
Mizi ends with a bow, her face burning red and her eyes screwed shut.
There's silence for a few moments as Sua, presumably, takes in her words. Then, she starts to giggle.
Mizi looks up in horror to find Sua nearly hunched over, tears in her eyes and the world's prettiest smile on her face as she can't hold in her light laughter. It's not mocking or anything, which Mizi takes as a win, but laughter wasn't exactly the reaction she had been hoping for.
Before she can open her mouth to apologize, Sua cuts her off. "I'm sorry," she says, laughter beginning to dissipate. "I don't mean to laugh, Mizi, I'm sorry, I just—"
She pauses, straightens up, and shoots Mizi the biggest smile she's ever seen grace her elegant face.
"I thought we were already dating."
"..."
Mizi is at a loss for words. Them? Her and Sua? Already dating?
"You- you did?! But we never—"
"I know," Sua sighs, smile still bright and enchanting. "I just thought it was one of those things that happen gradually, you know? I mean, we hold hands and spend all of our time together, and you kissed me on the cheek just last week, so I kind of figured it was something that went without saying."
Something that went without saying.
Mizi's brain is beyond fried at this point. She stares blankly at Sua, all fight taken out of her body and filling up with a mix of hope and anticipation.
"But," she continues. "I would love to officially date you, Mizi. I love you, too."
I love you, too.
Sua's words echo in Mizi's brain, again and again, overlapping over themselves like a light shone in a funhouse mirror room.
Sua... loves her too?
Once it finally settles in, Mizi wastes no time to cross the few feet that separate them and engulf the other girl in a bone crushing hug. They stay like that for seconds, minutes, hours, just holding tightly onto each other and giggling like everything in the world is finally right.
"Sua," Mizi pipes up, smaller and a bit hesitant. "Can I kiss you?"
"Of course, Mizi."
And so she does.
She leans forward, connecting their lips, and from then on Mizi can think of nothing but Sua. Sua and her soft lips, and her strawberry flavored lipstick and the way she smiles against Mizi's mouth. The kiss is imperfect and silly, both of them smiling a little too much for it to be any good, but they both know that it's perfect nonetheless.
It's perfect, because it's them, together at last.