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Chapter Text

"Family isn't always blood. It's the people in your life who want you in theirs; the ones who accept you for who you are. The ones who would do anything to see you smile and who love you no matter what."

-Anonymous

#Nishimura Riki: The world's not perfect, but it's not that bad with you.

-0.-

It was a stormy day when he was born. Heeseung remembers— pacing outside the door, while Jaeyun remained inside, helping the child's arrival to this world. The worry is eating him alive.

He remembers his knight being more anxious than him. Understandable, he was the father. But the gnawing pit in his stomach would just open wider with every scream from the inside.

It's been hours since Jihyo was in labor. And Heeseung had been so excited and nervous when she had announced the pregnancy. He had been there for every little milestone of that pregnancy. He and Jaeyun, eagerly await the arrival of the child. The woman who took care of him his entire life as his mother figure, the woman who took care of his Jaeyun when he couldn't. There was a time— when Heeseung had genuinely believed her to be his mother.

Where he wished it was true. But deep down, he'd always known, she wasn't. Because his father was alone and he never talked about any other woman but his true mother. And Heeseung was a prince. Jihyo was his mother's handmaiden. Later– his. It was a shame, for she fulfilled every role that his mother had left behind. She fed him, clothed him, read him stories, played with him, disciplined him, held him, and even scented him. She fulfilled every role that his parents never did.

So it hurt that she wasn't his parent. Heeseung used to think that he preferred being the son of a handmaiden to a King. But eventually, he got over that ache. And now, Jihyo was about to have a child of her own. But… Heeseung couldn't rest. The fact that everyone outside with him was downcast, didn't help. Because the healers had said that Jihyo was too weak to survive childbirth when they had checked over her in the early stages of the pregnancy. Her body is too fragile to not break with a child pushing its way out into this world.

Oh how wrong they were, Heeseung knew. The determination with which Jihyo had squared herself and declared she didn't care and would not terminate the child was admirable. Because his Jihyo ma was strong. She is one of the strongest people Heeseung has known. And he knew that the child would be just as strong.

It's in the hour of the moon that the child is born. Crying, screaming, and taking the world on its shoulder with its first breath. It was bittersweet, Jaeyun remembers. He remembers Jihyo's weak and struggling form as she tried to look for her son. Rivers of her blood-drenched the bedsheets and dripped on the floor. And Jaeyun remembers holding a life, one that struggled to be in this world. One that their Jihyo ma struggled to bring into this world.

He remembers crying, standing beside the fading life as she looked on to the new one. He remembers Jihyo weakly patting her son once and whispering, “You will be strong and loved.”

He remembers Jihyo looking pleadingly up at him, her eyes holding a silent request she was too weak to voice. And Jaeyun remembers joining the child in his cries as they both mourned for his mother.

Heeseung remembers the face of his knight, the first time he held his son. Nishimura Ryo had been wide-eyed, his shoulders slumped in defeat, lips wobbling in silent apology. He had pressed one little kiss on his boy. A warm one, a soothing one, before he had handed him back to Jaeyun and kneeled on the ground in front of his King and Queen.

Heeseung had been alarmed, panic and anger griping as he demanded to know what Nishimura was doing. But his knight, his father figure, his protector, his teacher, and his coronater, had pressed his head to the ground in submission and cried.

“Your Majesty, my mate has passed. I can feel the broken bond without the confirmation. Even if I look after him, I won't be with him for long. I have seen you grow, Your Grace, I do not want to put my son through that by repeating the mistakes of your late father. Please, hand him off to the family that would want him. I can only hope he grows with all of the love his real parents could not give him.”

Heeseung remembers the way Nishimura Ryo had not waited for his answer, or his rage, as he quietly turned and left. Heeseung remembers the cries of a child echoing in his heart as the father turned away, not from one, but from two of his children. Heeseung remembers the way his inner child had been ripped apart by the loss of another pair of parents, both of his mothers dead and both his fathers turning their back on their sons and abandoning them.

At least Heeseung’s father had stayed with him. Absent but he had been there. But it was probably out of a sense of duty to his country rather than as a father to him. Heeseung remembers the newborn crying, cold, abandoned, and hungry. His heart ached with that pain too.

Jaeyun had never feared Heeseung. But the smell of his anger when Nishimura Ryo abandoned his son, had rattled him. Heeseung was furious. He was angry on behalf of this child. Jaeyun remembers the way the child had cried, clutching his robes, fussing in his arms as he searched for milk to nurse on. And Jaeyun had ached, because he couldn't nurse him. An omega can only lactate when they have a pup. The development of their breasts came with the development of their pups in their wombs. But Jaeyun's womb was barren.

And none of them were ready for a child.

But then, a maid had rushed towards him, a little nub and a bowl of milk in hand, and had fed him. Jaeyun had felt inadequate, he couldn't feed a pup by himself. His omega had felt insecure and hurt. He couldn't nurture a life. Jaeyun had refused to meet Heeseung’s gaze when he called for him later.

Jaeyun could not bring himself to look at the crying child or his pleading mate. But he could not bring himself to let the child out of his embrace either. He could not let go of him. Heeseung had still smelled of anger and pain, and Jaeyun refused to allow him to taint the lungs of the newborn with that sour and rotten scent. So, he had for the first time since their mating, turned his back to his alpha and marched off to the adjacent chamber from their own, the one originally meant for a Queen, the one Jaeyun did not see a point in using as his mate’s room was sufficient enough for him.

He reminiscences the time when he had voiced that thought. Heeseung had gone a little feral over that and Jaeyun had been unable to get up from his nest for days. His alpha had apologised but Jaeyun knew that deep down he was pleased and not sorry at all. Heeseung had given him a sheepish smile and confirmed guiltily.

The room felt desolate now when he shut the door behind him. The bed was barren of a nest, the room stale without a scent. But Jaeyun had not cared. Instead, he had taken the fussing child, sat on the bed crossed-legged, laid the newborn in his lap, and rocked him to sleep. It had taken hours of rocking and humming before the child turned drowsy enough to sleep. But what did the trick was when Jaeyun tentatively trailed a finger over the crown of his head and lightly scented him. The pup was out like a blown candle.

Jaeyun stayed up the entire night watching the boy take tentative breaths as he got used to the act of breathing. Something akin to possessiveness burned in the corner of his heart then. Not the one he felt for his mate. No. This one was different. It was tinged with a healthy dose of affection and something… motherly.

He could not fathom that feeling.

Jaeyun did not see Heeseung for a week. His alpha did not seek him out or ask for him. During the day, the maids and the midwives originally brought for Jihyo would come to help him bathe the child and oil him. They would help him feed him and clothe him. The midwives told him all about child-rearing and even recommended books and scrolls that he could read to aid him. As if, he had already made up his mind to take the child as his own.

He had.

And it seems that his mate had known that too. It had been three weeks since Jaeyun first held the newborn. He had not attended Jihyo's funeral. He could not go there. He could not subject his pup to that pain for he knew that the child felt the loss of its mother too. Because when he searched for milk from Jaeyun, it was always empty. And Jaeyun hurt every time it happened. He cursed himself a little more every time he had to feed the child from contraception other than the one naturally granted to him.

It was a cold night, Jaeyun was trying to soothe the crying child and settle down the pup so that they could get some rest. But the pup was inconsolable. It fussed in the makeshift nest Jaeyun had made for them this morning and kept crying. He did not understand. But deep down he knew why. He just couldn't bring himself to admit it out loud and seek the comfort they both desperately needed. Jaeyun could not forget.

But it seems that his mate had enough of this one-sided avoidance and was sick of the distance Jaeyun had forcefully put between them. Jaeyun had been rocking the pup in the new nest when the door had slid open. He had watched frozen in place and unable to do anything as his mate stepped inside the room silently and approached the nest. He did not look at Jaeyun or speak a word. Instead, he carefully reached for the child who was staring at him with teary eyes, and skillfully plucked him out of Jaeyun's lap. The omega tried valiantly to squash the sudden fear that rose in his heart. But he seems to fail for Heeseung's face falters, hurt blooming from the other side of their bond.

Jaeyun wants to cry too.

Heeseung is careful. He is patient as he holds the crying child to his chest and tucks them in his neck. Just like Jaeyun had been doing. But then, he starts to rumble and his large hand covers the entirety of the pup's head and he starts to hum. The smell of pine and chamomile, sweetened by a faint scent of honey, lingering from the fading scent of the nest that Jaeyun left behind in their room— starts to filter into the air.

The reaction is instant. The cries stop as the child curiously sniffs the person holding him, then when the alpha rumbles at him again, his eyes droop. Heeseung’s hand is firm on the back of his neck, covering the skin in a soft action of scruffing and the pup falls asleep instantly. Jaeyun watches with fascination as Heeseung accomplishes the task faster than Jaeyun has managed.

As the pup quiets and settles into his hold, the pair of mates are enveloped in silence. Jaeyun is tense, waiting for his mate to ask about his earlier reaction. But he doesn't. Instead, Heeseung lets the uncomfortable silence reign the air between them and continues rumbling quietly to soothe the pup to sleep. Jaeyun bites his lips to hold back the tears that spring in his eyes in relief and apology.

His shoulders slump in defeat as his body involuntarily relaxes under the permeating scent in the air and the comforting vibrations of Heeseung's hum that tingle his sensory nerves. When Jaeyun's head droops along with his eyes, a warm calloused hand supports it. Jaeyun blinks his eyes open as he looks at his mate tiredly.

Heeseung doesn't say anything and reaches out his hand, palm up and inviting. Jaeyun looks at it for a minute before he accepts it and slides his own against it. Heeseung helps him up, one hand still scruffing the pup into slumber and the other curled around Jaeyun's waist as it supports him while the alpha guides his family back to his room where their nest awaits them.

Jaeyun watches with tired eyes as Heeseung carefully lays the infant in the middle of the nest. The pup fusses slightly when they separate but Heeseung is quick to soothe it with a hand trailing over its little face. When the alpha slides in beside them, Jaeyun watches the pup tilt his head to the side, seeking the scent and warmth that Heeseung readily provides, tucking himself closer to his pup and curling over them protectively.

Jaeyun sighs and shuts his eyes, a lone tear falling from his eyes. A warm pad of finger brushes it away carefully and the hand moves down to brush against his mating mark soothingly. Jaeyun melts into a puddle instantly. Then the hand comes to rest over his heart and the rumbles start again. Jaeyun feels light and weightless as Heeseung soothes his new family into sleep.

Throughout the night, the rumbles do not stop, even after Heeseung sleeps.

It's the job of the alpha sire to assure their mate and pup that they are safe and well-guarded, after all.

Just like that, Heeseung and Jaeyun go from newly wedded mates to parents. It's unpredictable but they don't complain. The journey will be arduous and tiring, it's scary to be responsible for a life other than your own, but they do not care. For when the puffy child in their arms, wakes up well-rested and sated— watches them back from the safety of the nest with its big black eyes, a small but undoubtedly sharp nose that twitches as he learns the scent of his parents, and pouty lips that slowly curls into a smile when Jaeyun tentatively nudges his nose against his cheeks— they become a family.

Heeseung, Jaeyun, and their little duckling.

Parenthood is wondrous.

—

©Liyana⋇

Chapter Text

#Nishimura Riki: The strength for tomorrow

-0.1-

The next morning they wake up is a mix of emotions. The pair of mates open their eyes, find each other, look down at the breathing pup between them and do not look away.

The atmosphere is quiet and if Jaeyun was not a little ansty he would have fallen right back asleep. But even as his eyes droop, they remained trained on the people in front of him.

Heeseung has his arms curled over the little body between them, the slumbering child nestled in his chest as he breathes in the scent of a newborn pup. His mate's eyes remain fixed on the slow rise and fall of a tiny little chest that his palm could cover entirely.

Unsuspectingly, those eyes lift to meet his own and Jaeyun has to curl his hand over his chest to tamp down the rapid pace of it. His husband's gaze is soft, glazed over with leftover sleep and adoration. He looks to be in love.

Jaeyun averts his gaze to avoid the way his heart aches from that. The tension is broken by the tiny yawn that the creature between them lets out. Jaeyun's heart clenches more in adoration.

Jaeyun watches as the little pup blinks its eyes open to the world, slow and sugary sweet. Mirroring his feelings, his scent is overpowered by honey as he leans close and gently nuzzles his nose with the child.

"You want him," Heeseung observes from where he is lying on the other side, the chamomile of his scent sweetening. Jaeyun stiffens. Would he want him too if he said yes?

"Jaeyun," Heeseung murmurs, prompting him to look at him, "We haven't been mated for more than a year."

Jaeyun's heart drops. He blinks to push the hurt from his eyes but it blossoms in their bond either way. He gets up and looks away from his mate. Heeseung's rise is slow, hindered by the weight of the pup he has to carefully maneuver away from his first.

"Jaeyun," Heeseung calls, his hand reaching out to touch his shoulder, Jaeyun curls away from it. Heeseung lets his hand linger in the air for a minute before he defeatedly pulls it down. "I just want to know what you will do when we have pups of our own."

Jaeyun's heart stops.

"Jaeyun, will you look at him the same if you had your own pups?" Heeseung presses. Unaware of the turmoil inside his mate. "Will our kids accept him? Will the council accept him as our firstborn if we have pups of our own?"

Jaeyun's eyes water in fear and longing, his heart breaking the more Heeseung talks.

"Baby," Heeseung whispers as he scoots closer, a hand going to pat the fussing child. "He is my Jihyo Ma's child. I want him, if you want him too." His eyes are full of affection as he looks down at the pup, saddening when they look up at his mate, "But, even if we take him as our firstborn, even if I emphasize it, the council will always look at blood more than acceptance."

Then, he delivers the final blow that rips out a violent sob from him, "He will be ostracized."

Heeseung startles at Jaeyun's wail. "Jaeyun?" He asks, fearful and confused as his mate hunches over himself and cries his heart out. Hearing the distressed omega's cries, the pup starts wailing too.

Overwhelmed by the rush of distress from two sides, Heeseung's mind spins. Carefully, he picks up the pup and tucks it into his neck, actively pumping out calming pheromones as the child breathes and finds comfort in his scent.

Thankfully, it seems to work on Jaeyun too, for his wails die down into pitiful whimpers and sobs. "Jaeyun? Heeseung calls slowly. His mate sniffles as he wipes his tears before finally turning to look at him. Jaeyun's eyes are red and puffy, his nose twitching as he desperately tries to soothe himself on the chamomile.

"Sorry," he sniffles and Heeseung is so lost because, what? "I'm so sorry. B-But I was so S-scared to tell you before," and Heeseung's heart drops as he lets him continue, "I'm so sorry, but I... I cannot g-give you p-pups."

"What?" Heeseung whispers, confused and dreading the answer.

"I'm infertile Heeseung," Jaeyun whispers shamefully. "I had an accident when I was young," Jaeyun tells him, "It stunted my growth. It delayed my presentation and when I presented, it was without a womb."

Heeseung is silent. Jaeyun cannot bring himself to look at him and watch the expression on his face, whatever it may be, he dares not assume.

"Is that why?" Heeseung says, his tone unreadable.

Jaeyun winces, "Yes. There is no place for your seed to take."

The silence stretches as his mate processes his confession. Heeseung shuffles closer and Jaeyun can feel his warmth transferring to him from where their shoulders touch. The alpha leans in close and touches his forehead on his temple. The breaths are heavy and low but warm. "Jaeyun," Heeseung breathes, "I would never begrudge you for that."

Jaeyun's breath hitches. "What?"

"I do not care for your breeding prowess, Jaeyun," Heeseung repeats firmly and leaving no room for doubts. "I would have mated you even if I had known earlier. I would love you even if I had known it my entire life."

Jaeyun whimpers, pressing his head closer to Heeseung's nose that lines his temple. The alpha rewards him with a sweet kiss to his skin, "I love you for you, all flaws and strengths."

Jaeyun sobs, "You promise?"

Heeseung bumps him a little with his nose, "Promise."

Jaeyun turns his head, tilting to wordlessly beg for a kiss. And Heeseung does not disappoint. It's short but it leaves them breathless nonetheless. They had deprived each other of this for three weeks and the wait was well worth it.

"So, you want him?" Heeseung asks against his lips, his eyes closed, waiting for an answer anxiously.

Jaeyun sniffles and nods frantically, "Yes, yes, please. I do not want for anything else," he answers desperately.

Heeseung soothes him with a brutal kiss, joining their foreheads together as they listen to soft breaths of the child tucked in his arms between them, "Okay. He's ours now."

The child turns a little, seeking Jaeyun's touch and when he feels his plan cupping his head, he settles. Jaeyun bursts into tears. Heeseung smiles sweetly, already adoring the promise of having this family.

They name him Riki, for the strength he will need to have to endure all that comes towards him. To have fought for his place in this world. For the strength that he will need, to carry him through life.

For a strong woman had given birth to him, and a brave omega will raise him. And destiny will bring him nothing short of a mix of both to accompany him for the rest of his life.

—

-1.-

Riki is a clingy child.

And Jaeyun gathers this when the little one starts fussing when he can't touch either of his parents' skin. Riki seems to thrive off of physical touch. Not unlike Jaeyun. He seems to be taken with Heeseung in particular. Seeking his scent and touch when it's time to sleep, or looking for him when he has to feed.

Just like Jaeyun.

Riki refuses to sleep without his mate, Jaeyun had learned. It was probably the sense of safety that came with having an alpha sire, or just the scent of chamomile in particular that has him drifting off to dreamland so quickly. Probably both.

Either way, he tends to cling to Heeseung a lot. The alpha doesn't seem to mind it at all. Instead, he encourages it on occasions. Once, Heeseung had been gone in a council meeting. It was time for Riki's afternoon nap and normally, the pup did not fuss so much.

Sure, he gave him a little trouble by taking an hour to fall asleep but today, he was on a warpath. Riki cried and fussed, refusing the milk that Jaeyun touches to his mouth and whining when he gets picked up.

Huffing Jaeyun rocks the child a little more, the wet nurses around him utterly defeated in front of the wrath of the little prince. "Riki," Jaeyun scolded gently, "Your Appa is in a very important meeting, we cannot call him away from it just for you to nap."

But Riki scrunches his face and cries more. This is all Heeseung's fault for making Riki dependant on him and spoiling him. Now he is so spoiled that he refuses to close his eyes in the arms of any other but his Alpha sire.

This council meeting was for him to begin with. Heeseung was going to talk about how Riki's future will be shaped. He is a prince, for he is the son of the King and Queen, so he will also be the Crown Prince. But the future of his path will be chosen by him.

Heeseung had called this meeting to simply tell the council of his decision and to accept it sitting down or face his wrath. The tyrant.

Riki starts wailing again, and Jaeyun groans, distressed himself, "Riki! Please, he will be back by the time you wake up again, I promise!"

But Riki pays him no heed, crying for his father.

Jaeyun is so done he feels insane. Giving up, he huffs and starts marching out of his chambers with the babe in hand. It's quite a walk from their bed chambers to the council room where the meeting is being held, but Jaeyun is exhausted and Heeseung needs to pay for the consequences of his actions of spoiling Riki.

Jaeyun is like a disaster as he throws the double doors open and storms into the room with wailing Riki in his arms. He pays no mind to the shocked council or his gaping husband and simply deposits the child in his arms.

"You've spoiled him too much," Jaeyun accuses, pointing a finger at his mate threateningly. "He refuses to sleep without you!" Heeseung's jaw is on the floor as he stares at him, flabbergasted. "You make him fall asleep for his afternoon nap now or you are going to take care of his grumpy ass for the rest of the day, Lee Heeseung!"

The entire room has their mouths wide open as Jaeyun turns with a flourish and walks out of the room snobbishly as the wet nurses scramble behind to keep up with him. After his impactful entrance and exit, the room descends into a painful silence.

The only sound breaking it is the little sniffles, that Riki lets out as he finally gains peace with the pine and chamomile in reach. Heeseung looks down at his kid and watches in confusion and awe. Did his sweet little mate, Jaeyun just threaten him in front of an entire council and dumped a baby in his arms for him to lull him to sleep?

Apparently, he just did because Riki is very real in his arms and his cries are loud. "What the hell..." he whispers to himself but does as he is asked. He pulls Riki close to him and tucks him by his neck and starts to scruff him. Like clockwork, Riki is slumbering in just a few moments.

Heeseung has Riki in his arms sleeping for the entire meeting and the pup only wakes up when it's over. When Heeseung looks down at his son after this all was over, Riki descends to consciousness with a slow blink and yawns up at him.

Heeseung's shoulders relax with the tension from dealing with the council melting away as he looks down at his son. He brings up a hand to carefully run a finger down the bridge of his nose and Riki's eyes droop close. "You are very adorable, you know that?" He whispers.

He is fond of watching his son wake up from his sleep. Riki's descent to the world is always sugary sweet to watch. It warms his heart and makes him proud for some reason.

"It does not matter what anyone says," Heeseung whispers furiously, "but you are my son and I am your father. It is all that matters."

And truly, it was all that should ever matter. Riki is his son, no matter what anyone says and blood or not.

—

Chapter Text

#Nishimura Riki: You'll Never Walk Alone (As Long As We Live)

-1.1-

There is something to be said about the little prince who runs around the palace Hall with peals of laughter that echo like bells. In the next 21 months after his birth, the little princeling is never found anywhere else but in his parents' arms.

The Queen is notoriously hyper invested in his well-being, fussing over every single thing until it's up to his standards. His son deserves nothing less, of course.

The King, while laid back and indulgent, was the one who spoiled the little rascal the most. Everything the little Prince touched was his. Now you may wonder, how did this Riki transform into the general you read about? The answer comes in the form named Jaeyun. He was the strictest of the pair. Reigning in, Riki's actions fell on Jaeyun. But at times when he couldn't discipline him? Heeseung isn't an alpha for nothing.

Besides, as Riki's sire, the little pup immediately defers to him with one look.

Riki is now 4 years old. His first 4 years of life were filled with honey syrups and calming chamomile. He grows up cocooned in the love of his parents. And he loves them back tenfold, too! Believe him! It's just that one day, one of his nannies asked him which one of the parents Riki liked the most and insisted it had to be one.

Riki was torn then. He didn't know what to say.

His Oma was the sweetest. He was kind, soft, and indulged his every whim. Riki loved playing with his Oma. His Oma also agreed to let Riki learn the basic training regimen. He was happy to sit on the side, perched over a picnic blanket with fruits, water, and food for him and Appa to devour after they finished their training. Riki loved being by his Oma’s side. The familiar honey syrups made his heart bloom with warmth, and his Oma’s embrace was his home.

But at the same time, Riki's Appa was his safety blanket. Appa didn't coddle him much, but he loved him a lot. He trained with him, he accompanied him to his classes, and he wouldn't bat an eye when Riki tried to steal watermelon from his plate. And when Riki got hurt? His Appa was always there, a gentle reprimand on his tongue, soothing his pain with Chamomile, and leaving the lesson of a lifetime in his heart. Riki was in awe of Sire. There was no one else other than Heeseung who could be the best Appa in the world.

So with great distress and a thousand apologies on his tongue for his Oma, Riki had guiltily replied, he loved his Appa just a tiny little bit more. A small amount, nothing that great!

When the parents heard of this from their nursemaid, they were amused. Sure, Jaeyun and Heeseung had a little competition going on between them on who would be the pup's favourite parent, but knowing the answer was just amusing. Yes, Jaeyun sulked in his nest for an hour while his Alpha tried valiantly to control the pride and smugness rolling in his scent, but failed.

“He said it wasn't by much, just a tiny bit,” Heeseung had said, voice tight with the effort to keep in his victory.

Jaeyun had taken one look at him and scoffed, turning away from him, “If I see that smug smile on your face one more time, I'm going to slap you.”

But Riki, who hadn't known that his parents had already heard the results, had run to them as soon as class ended. He knocked on the door and had the guards stationed outside open it. When he entered the room, he hadn't spared Heeseung a glance. He ran straight to Jaeyun in the nest, who was wrapped up in preparation for his upcoming heat.

“Oma!” Little Riki shouted, running to his mother and clutching his robes when he reached the nest.

Jaeyun felt his bitter loss melt away at the sight of his son's eyes twinkling at him like stars. He brought up a hand to hold Riki's gentle and nurturing, “Hello, duckling.”

Riki leaned closer to touch his forehead with his Oma’s, a gesture to a pack mother. Jaeyun smiled at him, bringing another hand to cup his little cheeks. “What brings you here, pup?”

Riki had then turned nervous. He glanced back at where his sire was seated on the edge of the nest, his hand warm and patting Jaeyun's exposed ankles absentmindedly, intently focused on his mate and pup. Heeseung raises a brow when Riki meets his eyes. Encouraging him to let it out.

Riki links his lips, unsure and nervous, jutting out into a pout. “While I was walking to class, the nursemaid asked me questions,” he says, fidgeting with the sleeves of Oma’s robe.

Immediately, it clicks for both parents on what he is going to say. Heeseung's pine and chamomile immediately turn warm and sugary with smugness, while Jaeyun's honeyed scent flickers, giving way to the lime that is almost non-existent during heat. Jaeyun frowns at Heeseung when the Alpha fails to hide his grin. Seeing his mate’s glare, the alpha turns away, hand tightening on Jaeyun's ankle, thumb rubbing the skin there in an effort to calm him.

Riki pouts; the change in his Oma’s scent is noticeable. “Oma,” he calls quietly, little hands coming up to grasp his robes. Jaeyun turns to him and smiles. The honey syrups steadily overpower the lime. Riki relaxes. Jaeyun pats his head lightly and asks, “What did the nursemaid ask you?”

Riki visibly shrinks, eyes worried and nervous. Jaeyun notices and moves over to Heeseung’s side of the nest and makes space for Riki to climb into. He pats the place beside him where he'd been lying before, and Riki scrambles to fill it. He hurriedly climbs onto the bed, crawling over to his Oma and curls up into his side. Jaeyun wraps his arm around him and nuzzles his head when it comes to rest on his chest. Riki smells of the forest. It's not like the one back home, full of pine that Heeseung smells like. It's something different. It smells of the fields in the countryside surrounded by hills and dense forests. There is also the underlying scent of milk and honey, accompanied by the faint smell of chamomile blending in. The smell of a pup well-loved and religiously scented to bed by his parents.

Normally, Riki smells more like Heeseung, his forest dampened by pine and his milk doused with chamomile. Riki tends to look for Heeseung to scent him whenever he is overwhelmed and in need of rest. But around the time of Jaeyun's heat, honey syrups overpower every other scent, and the milk sweetens in response. Jaeyun needs his pup and mate close when in pre-heat. He needs to scent them until even Heeseung smells like an omega.

Not like he ever complains. Heeseung loves Jaeyun's scent on him, and it provides his mate the comfort that he needs before a difficult heat.

Riki snuggles in Jaeyun's hold and rubs his head into his neck as a silent demand to be scented. Jaeyun chuckles and obliges. When the scent of honey calms him, Riki whispers his dilemma. “The nurse maid asked who I loved more between you and appa.” Jaeyun hides his adoration in Riki's hair and tightens his arm, encouraging him to keep going. “I was confused. I love you both a lot, but then she said I only had to choose one!”

Riki sits up from his Oma’s embrace and turns to look at him. His big eyes were worried, small hands coming up to cup his Oma’s face and pat in an effort to soothe him in case he feels sad and betrayed. “She said only one Oma! And I didn't know what to say! Believe me, Oma!”

Heeseung's grin widens, and he wisely turns away from his mate to hide it. Jaeyun looks so fond and torn, his expression going through several gymnastics, unsure of what to look like anymore. Riki becomes more worried, his eyes turning glassy as he squishes Jaeyun's cheeks, willing him to understand and see reason. “That's why I chose Appa, but Oma, it's only a bit. A teeny-tiny bit. I had to choose only one!” Riki's voice rises in pitch.

Jaeyun feels… torn. “You love appa more than me?” He mumbles through his squished lips. Heeseung turns around to look at them, and this time, he looks worried too. Riki's eyes blur with tears as he explains himself. “Only a little bit,” he brings up his tiny hand to pinch his thumb and index finger, the thumbnail close and only a few centimetres off from reaching the index finger's nail. Jaeyun tries valiantly to resist crushing his sweet little pup in his embrace when fat tears drip down Riki's face as he tries hard not to sob at the thought that Jaeyun might be sad he loved Heeseung more than him. However little it might be, quantity still matters.

Heeseung's eyes turn soft and fond when he hears Riki sobbing. “I'm sorry, Oma, but I promise you're my favourite person in the entire world!”

Jaeyun hums as he brings up his hands to pull Riki's from his face. Riki resists at first, worried his Oma is going to push him away and not talk to him for hours on end. But his Oma simply leaves his hands to rest on his lap and reaches up to wipe his tears.

“Why are you crying over being honest? That's a really good thing to keep up, you know?” His Oma is gentle as he soothes his distress and wipes his sadness away.

“Honest?” Riki sobs, not understanding or knowing what to say.

“Yeah. You were honest because you came to tell me what happened, even when you knew I might be upset by knowing the truth. You chose to face it. I think that's brave and honest.” Jaeyun tells him gently. It wasn't a big deal. It's common in children around Riki's age to choose one parent over the other, depending on who indulges their whims the most. But the fact that Riki came clean about his answer and even tried to defend his case was admirable. It was a chance at a lesson in instilling a good habit in his son.

“Really?” Riki sniffles, slowly calming down now that he finally registers the sugary sweet scent wafting around him, pleased and not in the least angry or sad. His Oma was happy. Riki sagged with so much relief that he slumped into Jaeyun's arms like a straw doll with their strings cut.

Jaeyun welcomes him wholeheartedly and kisses his forehead, “Really. I'm so very proud of you.”

Riki lets out a full-body shudder at that and snuggles as close as he can get. He hears a sigh from behind him, and Riki perks up. He turns his body to the side so that he can comfortably see his sire. Heeseung is looking at them with a gaze as soft as the clouds. Riki smiles a toothy grin at him and extends an arm to invite him into a hug. His alpha sire comes without complaint and gathers both his mate and pup into his arms.

And it's really satisfying for Heeseung. The way Jaeyun leans back, Riki snuggles and bundles up between them, safe and sound. It's damn satisfying, and he will kill anyone who threatens the peace and harmony of his family.

Riki stays there for the rest of the day, cozy in his Oma's nest, being scented by his parents once in a while as they talk. Later on, he sits on Heeseung's lap by the table, drawing as his sire writes up documents while his Oma catches up on sleep as he waits for heat.

Sleeping with his parents is always a blessing for him.

They curl up around him like an impenetrable shield, and no nightmare comes for him there. It's the safest place in the entire world for him. Nothing can reach him there. Sadness cannot touch him there.

Until one day, it does. Nishimura Riki discovers that his parents are not his biological parents. And all hell broke loose.

—

They don't know how he found out. They don't know who broke protocol first. Heeseung had declared as soon as Riki turned one that no one was to speak of his boy's actual parentage. He had drafted a rule, and that has been followed without fail for 4 years. His words were law.

And yet, someone slipped, and Riki's world tilted where it stood.

But they could guess what brought it on. What may have been the catalyst? It was none other than Nishimura Ryo's death. Three weeks before Riki's 5th birthday, a messenger soldier arrives from the border. He is haggard, and he is tired. But he has a job, and that is to report to His Majesty that his most reverend general had perished on the battlefield.

Heeseung had been holding court in the throne room when the soldier interrupted it.

The soldier immediately falls to his knees as soon as he runs the distance to the front of the crowd from the doorway, hands cupped and head touching the ground in greeting to the Kingdom's Emperor. "Pardon the intrusion, Your Majesty! This unruly one apologizes for the disruption caused!"

Heeseung had been almost done with the court affairs of the day and had been looking forward to training and sparring with his son. But now, it dragged on. "Speak." Heeseung tiredly waves his hand, his garment heavy. He cannot wait to go and get changed

into more comfortable robes before joining his family in the courtyard outside his chambers.

Perhaps, Jaeyun will serve him that jasmine tea he had perfected while they supervise Riki's training together. Heeseung is already tired of this farce of a meeting. "Yes, Your Grace!" The soldier yells, and Heeseung grimaces. Why is this soldier so loud?

The combatant kneels and starts, "I bring news from the Battlefield of Lanya." This piques Heeseung's interest, and he turns his attention to the warrior. "The Black Battalion lost its commanding general, Nishimura Ryo, to an enemy sword yesterday evening. The army has beaten back the invading forces with a loss of over 3000 soldiers by this morning!"

The entire room is silent as the grave as they all look at Heeseung for a reaction. Meanwhile, the emperor himself is frozen, his head underwater after hearing that Nishimura Ryo had fallen in battle. Nishimura Ryo, the most formidable general in the entire Royal Army, has served as his protector since Heeseung learned to read and write. The one who taught him to fight, the one who crowned him King, the one who sired his son— is dead.

Gone.

"Are you certain?" Heeseung asks, voice too loud in the silent room. The soldier startles, but he bows and delivers, "Yes, we found his armor and... half of his torso. Evidence suggests that he was torn to death."

Heeseung's fist hurt as his nails dig in. His throat constricts as he rasps, "Have you identified who killed him?"

The soldier stiffens, "Not yet, Your Grace."

"Where are his remains?" Heeseung's voice could cut through titanium with how sharp and raw it sounded, a growl barely held in the back of his throat.

"We collected it and burned him with the rest of our troops, Your Grace." The soldier answers quietly.

Heeseung's scent turns sharp and acidic with rage that it suffocates the room. But his voice remains steely, "Why didn't you bring him back?"

The soldier feels a drop of sweat running down his temple as he replies, "It was the General's wish, Your Majesty. When he took command, the first order he gave us was to burn him with the rest of the fallen warriors when he died and to bury his ashes in the memorial grounds with the rest."

Of course, he did. That man was stubborn as hell. He even refused to attend Jihyo's funeral, gone the day before the preparations began, his newborn son left behind, alone and abandoned. Riki attends to Jihyo's memorial in the royal memorial grounds every month with Jaeyun, taking care of the stone and placing daisies in front of it without knowing that she was his mother and that those were her favorite flowers.

He burns incense in her name with Heeseung every year on her death anniversary, and even if he didn't know, Heeseung could see the ache in his eyes. A tug in Riki's heart that said he had to know her, yet he was unable to figure out who she was or why it was important for him to remember her.

And yet, not once did Nishimura Ryo return to do that in his stead. Not once did the knight ever send a letter asking about his son's well-being. And now he was gone, without ever having known what a brilliant boy he had given up on.

The court was dismissed after Heeseung issued the order that Nishimura Ryo be buried according to his wishes.

For the first time in a year, Heeseung missed Riki's training. The rage, grief, sorrow, and guilt were eating him up inside, and rather than sully their haven in the garden with the stench on him, he took to the office and drowned himself in work instead.

And that is how Jaeyun found him, when the sun had long set and the moon was steadily climbing the sky near midnight. As soon as Jaeyun pushed the door open, he was hit with a scent so rotten, he thought a corpse was decomposing in the room. Fear immediately gripped his heart because Heeseung never smelled like that.

"Heeseung?" Jaeyun had called out to the figure hunched over the desk, hair askew, face ashened, and scent rotten. The pen that was scratching furiously over some document regarding food provisions in the North stopped and hovered over the parchment.

He didn't look up, but that was enough sign that he heard him. Jaeyun's stomach coils as he approaches the alpha. The closer he gets, the more disgusting the smell gets. But Jaeyun straightens his spine and braves it all. When he reaches Heeseung's side, the first thing he notices is the eyes that look down at the parchment unseeing. His mind adrift.

Jaeyun is scared to touch him. Heeseung looks like the slightest graze will shatter him. Jaeyun gulps. He wants to ask if he's alright, but there is no use in asking questions that are already obvious. Instead, Jaeyun works towards grounding Heeseung's mind in the only way he knew how, aside from scenting and touching. Talking.

"Riki was asking after you," he starts with the safest subject. Riki was Heeseung's pride and joy. He would never miss a single detail about how his son spent his day in his absence. "He came back from his lessons in the afternoon and immediately demanded rice cakes. But you know, he will eat more than he is supposed to and get sick after training, so I gave him fruits and biscuits instead."

There is no way to tell if Heeseung is listening other than the fact that his pen remains suspended over the paper, a glob of ink present beneath the tip that hasn't moved since Jaeyun started talking.

"He took a nap in between classes, I was told. So, he helped me prepare for the picnic in the kitchen. I baked honey pies, and Riki got flour all over him, so I had to bathe him. We read while we waited for you. He can recite the Kingdom's ruling monarchs serially now. When you didn't come in the evening, he was upset," Jaeyun whispers at last.

Heeseung's hand twitches. "He asked after you to every passing servant and even went to the throne room to fetch you," Heeseung takes a sharp breath. Jaeyun carefully observes every twitch in his mate's muscles and barrels on as soon as he senses him breaking. "It was a feat in itself to feed him dinner. He threw a tantrum and was determined to wait for you and eat with you. But we somehow managed to wrangle him into his sleepwear and put him to bed. He just fell asleep, and I came to get you as soon as he dozed off."

The pen falls and clatters onto the table before it rolls off and falls to the floor. Instead of ink, tears stain the parchment as Heeseung clenches his empty hands into tight fists. Jaeyun startles when the overpowering scent of misery burns his nose. Heeseung hunches in on himself as he cries. The omega flounders for a bit before he carefully lays a hand on the alpha's back. When Heeseung doesn't push him away, Jaeyun circles soothing patterns on his back.

His heart aches at the sobs that his mate lets out. His other hand goes to cup his cheek as he gently guides him to his stomach. Heeseung immediately buries himself in the embrace, his arms holding Jaeyun in a vice grip, and breaks down. Jaeyun runs his hand up and down his spine while he combs his hair.

"I'm here. It's alright, let it out. I'm not going anywhere," Jaeyun whispers as he curls over his mate, desperate to hide him from every sorrow that seeks to destroy his heart. He keeps repeating his words, his hands don't stop, and neither does he stop the flow of calming honey and lime steadily chasing the rot away.

Eventually, Heeseung calms down. After what feels like hours, his mate finally voices his burden, and Jaeyun feels crushed beneath its weight. They spent a long time deciding what they would do with the news and how they would tell Riki. But when dawn arrives, instead of their son, they find an empty nest drenched with the scent of hurt and tears.

The parents immediately set out to look for their missing son, but nobody can find him. They don't know how he knew, or who told him, but Nishimura Riki was gone. All the while, the pup sits in the memorial hall, his eyes fixed on a tablet that reads the name of the woman who he now knew was his real mother.

Riki's eyes are red and puffed from crying, his body trembles, his hands are ice cold, and he kneels there in nothing but his sleepwear. The weight of abandonment weighs heavily on his little heart. He knows Jihyo's death couldn't be helped. But what was his father's excuse to leave him behind?

Why did he have to face this hurt? Why couldn't he have just been born as Heeseung and Jaeyun's pup? Real pup. Riki's heart cracks and cleanly splits in two as he brings up his hands to wipe his tears. He had thought Heeseung and Jaeyun were his real parents. That he belonged to them. But, he never belonged anywhere in the first place, did he?

Never got the chance with his mother, never to his father, and will never to the people who he had believed were his. Abandoned, Riki was abandoned. He was forsaken by his father. Riki sobs as he curls up into himself. His heart filled with grief and self-loathing. None of this would have mattered if it had just been real. If Riki, Heeseung, and Jaeyun had been a family from the start.

Riki is even more horrified by the realization that he hated them. He hated Jihyo for not fighting for him, he hated his father for leaving him, and he hated Heeseung and Jaeyun for not giving birth to him instead. But most of all, he hated himself for thinking that way.

His mother gave her life for his, his father gave him up for him to have a better future, and Heeseung and Jaeyun raised him. They loved him. And instead of bowing at their feet in gratitude, he was here, in front of a stone, surrounded by the dead, wishing he had never existed at all.

Gods, he wanted his appa and Oma here. He wanted to be surrounded by honey and chamomile and find home between pine trees and lemon fields. Riki sobs harder; he missed them. Heeseung and Jaeyun. His Appa and Oma. Were they still his Appa and Oma? Were they ever supposed to be his Appa and Oma? Was he still allowed to call them that?

After all, his real Appa and Oma are dead.

He hates himself for thinking that way.

He hates himself for not missing the ones who were supposed to be there and for longing for those who were never meant to be there.

Riki spends hours sobbing in the memorial hall before someone finds him. And he doesn't even have to look up to see who it was. The immediate sense of safety and the new twinge of guilt that comes with smelling chamomile is answer enough.

Riki doesn't have the energy to look up at his (not really his) sire. The sun is way high up in the sky, and he has tired himself from not sleeping well and crying for hours. Even then, he didn't mean to flinch back when the calloused hand brushed his shoulder. He didn't mean to curl away from the touch he desperately craved.

But the hand stops and reluctantly pulls away anyway. Riki doesn't want to know what expression is resting on his face right now. He thinks that will break him beyond repair, and he isn't strong enough to build himself back up just yet. He isn't like the blocks that he stacks and knocks over for fun, just to build them back up with his Oma.

He feels more than he sees or hears him sit down beside him. The air shifts, and the chamomile has retreated, held tight in the binds of restraint. Riki feels guilty for missing it, for wanting it back, for wanting to curl up in it and forget about the world that crashed down on him today.

Instead, he curls tighter into himself, his head hidden between his knees. Silence falls over them for some time. Riki, not knowing where to find the courage to look at him, and him finding what words to say to make Riki feel better.

"Won't you look at me?" He asks quietly. Riki shudders at the pain in his voice. He has never heard him sound like that. It scares him. It hurts him. He wants that pain gone. Far away. He wants his Appa. But Riki shakes his head instead.

The silence that follows is heavy, weighed by pain and sorrow. Riki sobs. "Riki," the alpha calls, and Heeseung sounds wrecked. But Riki curls up tighter and shakes his head harder. Tears stain his clothes as he trembles and starts crying again. "Tell me what happened," Heeseung pleads, "I can't fix it if you don't tell me what happened."

Riki sobs harder. Fate turned against me, Riki wants to whisper. The world went against me and stole my happiness from me, Appa, Riki wants to cry. Bring it back, Appa, he wants to plead, bring back you and Oma, he wants to beg.

Stay with me, Appa. Don't leave me, I love you, I'm sorry for thinking otherwise, please hug me and make this pain go away.

But all Riki croaks out from his torn vocal chords is a weak pathetic, "Why?"

"Why, what?" Heeseung asks, battered and desperate to fix whatever is causing his pup to smell like despair. His forest charred with grief, and his milk soured with guilt.

"Why are you not my parents?" Riki sobs. Heeseung grows quiet, shocked. Once Riki gets that out, he cannot stop the flow of poison spilling from his mouth. "Why couldn't you have had me? Why did it have to be them? Why does it hurt so much? Why did he leave? Why can't I be yours? Why can't you be my Oma and Appa?" Riki cuts himself off on a wail. His voice rose steadily with his hurtful questions. His chest hurts from not being able to breathe properly. He gags on the floor and coughs. But before Heeseung can reach out to hold him, he whispers angrily to the ground covered in his spit and tears, glaring balefully at it, "Why can't I belong to you and Oma?"

Heeseung's hand freezes halfway through, a few inches away from Riki's back. Riki heaves, black spots dancing in his vision when the warmth lands on his nape, tight and soothing. "Look at me, Riki," Heeseung coaxes, gently squeezing his nape as Riki slumps under his hold. Riki slowly looks up at his sire, and the pain and longing in his eyes crack him down to his soul.

Riki sniffs, his distress doubling, "I'm sorry for saying that. Please, don't leave me, Appa." He starts crying again, hands reaching up to rub his face raw, and this time, Heeseung grabs both his arms to pull him closer.

"Riki, duckling, look at me," Heeseung coaxes again, and when he has his son's attention, he gently reaches up to wipe his tears. "You're ours," it's the first thing he says, firm and steady, as if it's the truth, as it's written in stone, carved out in the Universe like its law. "Nothing will ever change that. Nothing." Heeseung sounds so certain that for a minute, Riki wants to believe him.

"Yes, you weren't born from our blood," Heeseung confirms, and Riki's world shatters this time. He whimpers, his scent as fractured as his heart. When his head lowers, Heeseung cups his cheeks and tilts him back up to look into his eyes. All Riki finds there is love, love, love, and more love. "But you're ours." And Riki is breathless because it sounds so right.

"We may not have the same blood, but you're mine, pup. I held you since you were a newborn baby, I felt the first time you moved in Jihyo Ma's womb, I saw you take your first breath, I helped you take your first steps, I watched you learn your first word, I scoured the library for your name, and I will watch you grow old and get married and have pups of your own. I have been here since day one, and I will be here until the end, Riki. You're my son, in every way that matters. Never, never think otherwise, Riki." Heeseung's eyes soften, his thumb gentle as it presses against his temple as he whispers,  "We love you."

Riki shudders. His heart gallops in his chest as hope blooms, "You do?"

Heeseung's heart breaks at the tremble in his voice, as if there is a universe that exists where Jaeyun wouldn't love Riki. "Always have, and always will. From the day we knew you existed and until the world rewrites itself."

Riki doesn't know how he still has tears left to cry, but they are spilling down his face and soaking his Appa's sleeves. He clutches the hem in his hands tightly. "I love you too, Appa. I love Oma too. I'm sorry for saying all that." He crumbles, and this time, he doesn't have to worry about picking up the pieces by himself because his Appa gathers him in his arms, pulls him tight to his chest, and mends him every way that he can.

"It's alright, Riki. You were hurt and confused. There is nothing wrong with feeling that way. What matters is that you know we will always be here. Your Oma loves you to death, and so do I. Don't ever doubt that." Heeseung mumbles into his hair as he breathes him in and relaxes. He is safe. Slowly, but surely, chamomile fills Riki's lungs, and the pup melts into his sire like a puddle.

The father and son hug each other, scenting and reassuring themselves that they are here and they are safe and loved.

"Your Oma must've worn a hole in the soil from worry by now. Let's go back and tell him you're alright, yeah?" Heeseung jokes as he looks down at Riki in his lap.

Riki's eyes flick nervously as he timidly asks, "Is... is he mad?"

Heeseung smiles and touches their forehead together, "No. But he's worried, so you might be confined to his nest for the next few days."

Riki visibly slumps at the thought of being in Oma's nest, and Heeseung chuckles fondly at him. He stands up with Riki in his arms and presses a long kiss to his forehead, "I love you, pup," he whispers into his crown, "You're my pride and joy."

Riki returns the sentiment by kissing Heeseung's cheek before snuggling back into the crook of his neck as they journey home, where a worried Jaeyun is pacing the courtyard.

Riki's eyes flick over Heeseung's shoulder and catch the stone for his mother. She might not be here, but Heeseung and Jaeyun are, and they are Riki's Oma and Appa. And as Heeseung said, nothing will ever change that.

It's the same when they reach home and Jaeyun immediately fusses over Riki, cooing and scenting him when he starts crying. It's the same when Heeseung and Jaeyun sit side by side with Riki as they all open up about their feelings and bond. It's the same when they have dinner together, and Heeseung and Jaeyun both bathe him, neither willing to let him out of their sight again. It's the same when they curl up in the nest, surrounded by their scent and protected in their arms. All safe and sound.

Heeseung, Jaeyun, and Riki.

Appa, Oma, and their little pup.

In every universe.

—

©Liyana⋇