Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Zig checked his phone, he finally was able to take it off airplane mode. Nothing.
He had just spent a week driving down to California with Maya, camping along the way at the end of summer. They shared some moments of fear for both of them and excitement. Zig was unsure of what he would do now that his friends had left Toronto, and Maya had been consumed with getting back into music and writing. She was worried about being away from her parents, and Zig. He was like a comfort blanket in a sense. He’d seen her be messy, abstract, but genuinely looked at her like she was a masterpiece.
As he was grabbing his bag from baggage claim, still preoccupied with his phone, he began wondering why Maya hadn’t texted him yet. The airport was fairly crowded for being a Tuesday, but it was right after Labour Day. His bag was flung haphazardly over his shoulder as he made his way south to the parking garage. He was dodging people while scrolling his Hastygram account when he bumped into a slender woman about 5’ 7” with dark brunette hair.
“Oh, hey” she said, a bit startled. His bag had knocked her over a bit. She took off sunglasses and revealed chestnut-colored eyes, rimmed in purple eyeliner. Her skin was bronzed, far tanner than he was. A warm orange slip dress hugged her body and dainty sandals donned her feet. “Oh, my gosh. I’m so sorry...” he trailed. She looked at him for a moment, and he seemed sincere. She flashed a small smile “Oh, no worries. It happens. If I had a dollar for every time someone brushed past me, well…”
He smiled a bit awkwardly and decided to just go for it. “We could grab a cup of coffee, as an official apology?” He asked with boldness that was surprisingly humble. He was attractive, she thought to herself, so why not? She didn’t need to be at her mother’s for a few hours.
“Sounds great. I’m Mia,” she replied warmly. She untangled her golden hoop from her curled hair as they made their way to the café bistro amidst the hustle of the surrounding civilians. This finally relieved Zig of a few hours without thinking of Maya.

Maya had been unpacking her contents that they had loaded her small SUV up with. Her cello, a keyboard, a guitar, some clothes, a few framed photos including an updated one of her and Katie from this summer where they were together for her birthday. She missed Katie but was relieved to at least be in the same state… they weren’t that far apart. Her and Zig had arrived at her dorm at the Chouinard Hall the day prior and had been too exhausted to unpack much aside from a change of clothes to take a shower. A week of camping leaves one smelling a bit ripe. Her roommate was late showing up, so her side of the room was filling up a fast pace.
She carried in a few more boxes and set them by her bed. Her phone rang and a familiar number popped up but she wasn’t sure if she should answer it. She hadn’t spoke to Tori in a few years but her curiosity got the best of her.
“Hello? Tori?”
“Hey! I saw on FaceRange you made it to L.A! I’m in the area too, we should get together. I’d love to see you, it’s been way too long.” The conversation was a bit surprising since she didn’t know Tori had left Canada. She was a little hesitant but also desperate for a connection, even with an old friend.
“Yeah, we could. No, we should. I get my class schedule tomorrow and I could call you back?”
Tori didn’t miss a beat. “That sounds fab. I can not wait to see you. Where are you staying?” She inquired innocently.
“Oh, the dorms. I was able to get into one for first years. I haven’t met the room mate yet but I’m sure they’ll be here soon. Maybe they took a long holiday.”
“Gotcha, okay, well let me know. Bye, girl!” Her voice was sing-songy but reminded her of old conversations with Tori…when they got along.
Maya stared at the boxes while her brain tried to organize all the things she was supposed to do. She looked down at her phone and noticed the time, 1:00pm, which was 4:00 from where she was from. She decided to head down to the dining area and grab some food, a perk of the meal plan she signed up for.
She grabbed a sandwich which was limp and a bit squished, an apple and an electrolyte drink. She felt her heart racing a little as she sat down and peered at the groups of people around her. Intensely, she felt alone but tried to remain calm. This was a great opportunity to get away from home and open herself up to new experiences. To avoid looking immensely outcasted sitting alone, she pulled out her phone and remembered Zig. His flight should have landed a few hours ago. It was a tempting idea to text him, but she didn’t want to lead him on. She didn’t know how she felt without him. She loved him but really needed to feel out if it was a co-dependent sort of love, like a crutch where she had to have him or if she could truly stand on her own two feet. She pushed him out of her mind and recalled her short conversation with Tori. While swiping into her FaceRange she was finally able to see some of the shenanigans that Tori had been getting herself into…

Chapter Text

Mia stirred her latte and mused over what Zig had just said. She questioned his arrival in Toronto as her curiosity ate at her. “So, you drove with your ex-girlfriend down to L.A. so she could start school?” It sounded like this was an incredulous task. He nodded. “Yeah, I mean, I wouldn’t have wanted her to go alone. What if something happened to her? What type of friend would I be then?” Zig felt a pang of guilt. There may have been truth to what he said but it wasn’t the whole picture. He had hoped the trip, away from their other lingering friends, away from her parents, that maybe they could address the elephant in the room. His heart flipped when Maya came into the room, and he had hoped anytime there was a pause in their conversation that maybe it meant she was going to say they should reconcile. That moment hadn’t come. Zig wondered why he was playing off that she was just his ex-girlfriend and not the person he considered to be his love interest, but his thoughts were interrupted.
A ding came from Mia’s phone. “Oh, gosh. It’s already 5, I’m supposed to be heading to my mom’s. We’re meeting for dinner. This was the best apology I had in awhile.” Her eyes trailed from her latte up to his. “You wouldn’t want to get together maybe tomorrow would you? If you’ll be around, that is.”
Zig sat up in his chair and braced his hands on his knees. His eyebrows furrowed for a split second and he shook his head, mostly talking to his inner thoughts. “Yeah, yeah. We should.”
She laughed and handed him her phone. “Put your number in and I’ll send you a text. I’m in Toronto for awhile before my next project.” He fumbled his number into her contacts and stood to leave. Mia reached in to hug him, a gesture that surprised him a little for just meeting, but he embraced her back. She lingered for a moment and her hair smelled like lavender and sage. A high contrast to the vanilla smell of Maya’s shampoo. Maya. He moved his hands off the small of her back, breaking the hug and he smiled weakly. Mia grinned confidently and grabbed her rollaway bag and made her way East.
Zig grabbed his bag and ran a hand through his hair. Okay, South. He had been able to borrow one of the Matlins’ cars and was directed to run a few errands before returning to their house. The idea of the group home loomed on him. He knew Maya had asked her parents if he could stay there (again) and they seemed hesitant. He tried not to take it personally, they had been going through some personal things (according to Maya). He ran to the store and was able to pick up a prescription for Mrs. Matlin and some laundry soap. A text came through as he reached for the door of their blue sedan. Really glad we got to meet today. Lunch tomorrow? 5:56 pm. Sitting down in the car he contemplated how to go about this. He wasn’t even sure he’d have a car after tonight to use. I think that will work 5:59pm. Zig listened to the car’s engine purr as he turned the ignition. Onwards to Maple Street…

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From the looks of it, Maya had muted Tori’s FaceRange updates when she remarked something rude about how Maya deleted her social media right before her suicide attempt. No wonder she hadn’t seen anything from her in months. She had graduated and got accepted into FIDM in downtown L.A. for fashion design. Watching her party virtually for the past few years she was surprised at Tori’s drive now. According to FaceRange she had moved down to the area about a month ago. She had some vague posts about auditions for smaller commercials in the last month, but overall she seemed to have her life in order. She wondered if it had been hard for Tori to leave Vancouver like it had been for her to leave Toronto.
Her musing was getting to her, and she remembered she needed to take her medication. Maybe the intense anxiety of being alone was because she hadn’t been taking them regularly while camping. She went back to her room and was a bit startled by a tall girl hanging a poster over the empty bed’s wall. Maya shyly walked over to her bed and grabbed her cosmetics bag which held her bottle of her anti-depressants. The other girl appeared to notice Maya’s presence in the room and greeted her. “Hey there, I’m Sam.” Her smile was inviting, and she held out a hand with glitter bracelets trailing around her wrist. Maya shook her hand and introduced herself, “I’m Maya. Cool poster.” She pointed to the Les Miserables poster above Sam’s bed. “Thanks, it’s my favorite. Are you from here?” She motioned around which Maya took to mean Los Angeles. “N-No. I’m from Toronto.” She smiled at the ground and grabbed her bag tighter. “Hey, so I gotta run, but I’ll see you later?” Maya grabbed her electrolyte drink and headed for the bathroom. She wasn’t exactly ready to let her roommate know she was on anti-depressants. She didn’t know Sam well enough to determine if that was a good idea.
After taking the tab, she went out and washed her hands. A few other girls were in the bathroom applying some body mist and eying her a bit in the mirror. She figured she better head back up to her room to unpack the last few boxes of her things. The room was furnished with two beds, two dressers, a small double closet, and a nightstand. She tucked her keyboard near the foot of the bed, her guitar case under the bed and her cello near the corner by the closet. The boxes were a few scrapbooks, yearbooks, a quilt from her great grandma that she spread over her bed. She never really felt sentimental for heirlooms until now when she wasn’t surrounded by them. The last box was marked “personal items/bath” so she shoved those under her nightstand in the empty space below the drawer. Her laptop fit in the drawer of the nightstand nicely. Sam was almost done unpacking too, it seemed.
Sam had a guitar laid on her bed, an older one than Maya’s. Sam noticing Maya’s gaze, “It was my Memaw’s.” She patted it like it would comfort her back. Sam looked over at Maya and then to the closet. “So which side do you want?”
“I’m not picky. Is there a side you’d prefer?” Sam picked the left because it was closest to her bed, leaving Maya’s closest to her. Logical. One side had slightly more room due to an angled top shelf, Sam’s side. Maya didn’t care. “So where are you from?” She asked Sam casually. “Biloxi, Mississippi.”
The comment about her Memaw had made sense, along with her drawl. They were both a good distance from home.
She ended her night anxious for classes and happily conversing with Sam. Later, when they went to grab dinner she noticed how light she felt. How free to laugh. Maybe Santa Clarita would be good to her.

Chapter Text

Zig pulled up to the Matlin’s home on Maple and the warmth of the sun kissed his skin when he got out with his bags. Walking up to the door, he opened it like he used to when he lived there. Inside Maya’s parents were eating dinner. Mrs. Matlin was stationed at the table and her father in the living room. The room was tense in a way but he summoned his way up to Mrs. Matlin. “Thanks for leaving me the car to use. Hope it didn’t put you guys out sharing.” Her eyes were concentrated on her meal but she broke to mumble a thanks, mid bite. “It was fine. We were grateful you went with Maya. Traveling into the US, dealing with tolls…who knows how she would have faired.” She knew her daughter was getting stronger after the whole ordeal but she still worried, naturally.
“Listen, Zig. I need to talk to you. After discussing it with Maya’s dad, we think it might be nice to have some company around here. Maybe you could help with some house stuff while you look for work…” She didn’t want to pressure him but also wanted him to realize she expected him to do more than rot on the couch.
He was a bit surprised since Maya had brought it up the week prior, but apparently he didn’t have anything to worry about. “How much stuff do you have at the group home?”
“Oh mostly clothes, a few things. Not like a storage locker or anything.” He smiled because he knew she knew he didn’t keep a ton of stuff where he lived now. “When can I bring my stuff?”
Mrs. Matlin finished her last bite. “Tomorrow, if you’d like. You can take the car over there tonight and bring your stuff tomorrow, if that works.” She promptly smiled, glad he had taken her proposal.
Zig got out his phone and sent a text to his social worker at the group home letting him know he had found a place. That was received with a congratulations and a smiley face, and asking if he needed assistance. He felt confident he didn’t and a deep relief he had found somewhere to reside.
“Do you want dinner?” She asked. He motioned no and replied “I grabbed something at the airport and I’m still pretty full. I’m going to go pack up my stuff though. So I’ll see you tomorrow.” She grabbed him by the arm as he walked by, “don’t forget this.” It was the key he used to have, bronze with a green rubber cap. Welcome home.

Maya’s first day was spent looking at the PDF of the campus and trying to get a sense of direction. She didn’t have the same first class as Sam she discovered, so she was on her own. Dressed in deep blue denim pants and a yellow top, sleek hair and minimal make up, she made he way with low wedges until she found the room she was looking for.
The class was filled with people who just seemed way older than her. Maybe they weren’t older. Experienced? Wiser? Smarter? She sat down with her laptop and waited while the professor went over the syllabus and grading system. She nearly fell asleep until she was asked to sign a consent form. Please let none of the other classes drag on like this. She felt tired, which was the opposite of how she felt last night. Restless was an understatement.
Finally it was time to break for lunch and she met up with Sam. She had her thin red hair tied into a side braid, a red sundress over her broad shoulders and flaired at the waist, and birkenstocks. She was writing some notes down when Maya sat down. “How was your first class?” She asked, hopeful it had been more electric than hers. “Oh, fine. I’m just trying to remember what he said. I was staring at the professor because he was worth staring at.” It piqued Maya’s curiosity because so far on campus she hadn’t seen many men worth giving a glance to. “Oh, what class?”
“Um, history. The most boring subject alive but that man could raise the dead.” Maya raised her eyebrows and peered over at the luncheon area. “Anything look good over there?”
“Pick me out something, no tomatoes. Here’s my card.” She handed her a meal card to slide for payment. She has the meal plan too, she thought to herself. She grabbed a turkey on rye for her, and a beef and Havarti for Sam. She grabbed some chips, a few sodas and excused herself to the bathroom to take her medication. It felt a little silly, but sometimes sad realities do.
After inhaling her lunch she felt more energetic to head to the music room with Sam. Meeting a few people Sam knew took some pressure off, and helped Maya relax. She enjoyed this next class and almost got to play music. It’s the first day, we’ll get there. From the front of the room, she noticed this class was predominantly males. It was her and Sam and one other girl and the assignment was to write and play a chorus describing love and what it meant to them. It wasn’t the time to shy away from a challenge.

Chapter Text

Zig grabbed his last few boxes and perched them upright in the backseat. He had a few garbage sacks (of dirty clothes) and a duffel bag containing some personal items, including a photo of his parents and brother from 4 years back, before his mother had kicked him out.
He ran his hand through his hair and checked his phone. The device had a notification from Mia. “I know it’s a bit early but could we meet at 10? Late breakfast? I’m at Pan Pacific and they make the best breakfast bagel.” He smirked and shot her a text back. “Yeah. I just finished up with my morning stuff. I’ll head over.” He shifted into reverse and began making his way for North York area to the hotel.
After parking and making his way into the hotel, he meandered through men in suits, women with a crying child and a man wearing way too strong of cologne. He caught her wild curls and she flashed him a grin which made his skin feel like it was melting in only the best way.
She ushered him to the table and slid his menu his way. “It’s on me.” She skimmed the menu like she didn’t already have her mind made up. They quickly ordered and she casually mentioned that they were closing soon. Breakfast was only open until 10:30. This seemed a bit odd to Zig but he just munched at his omelet. Mia told him about dinner with her mom, and helping drop off a prescription to her mom before she came over and grabbing a few boxes from the attic so her mom could start decorating early for Halloween. She talked quick, with ease and a sense of security. It seemed she really enjoyed spending time with her mom. He kind of wished he was able to spend time with his.
Her salmon bagel was nearly complete when she wiped her face and looked at him curiously.
“Sorry we didn’t get here earlier, I should have invited you to breakfast instead of lunch. I appreciate you meeting me earlier though. I wish we had more time together.”
The staff was picking up plates and obviously closing to do prep for dinner reservations and courses. He smiled shyly at her. “You know, me too. I know you’re probably busy..”
“Oh, I have a bit of time actually. We could hang out… I have a room here, actually.” She confessed as she pulled out her room key. “Care to come up?” It seemed like an innocent enough question but Zig also felt internally like he knew what it meant if he said yes. But he did it anyway. Sleeping with a near stranger was not on the bingo card, but that’s what Zig did.

Maya scribbled out the words she had been working on for almost an hour. “This assignment sucks. Whatttt am I going to do to get this to sound right?” She laid back on her pillow and picked at her nail beds.
Sam strode over and parked herself next to Maya. “Look, read me what you’re working with, and I’ll see what I can do to help.” Maya was a bit nervous about playing music for people again and she really wanted to impress Sam.
“It will only make sense if I sing it, or it feels that way anyways. Okay.
But then again, this is my side,
Then again, it’s like you’re holding my time.
Nothing else feels concrete
Except your lips on mine
I wish we’d go back,
Take me back to maple street”
Her falsetto at the end clearly impressed Sam a little. “Girl, that’s not bad. You were over here scribbling, I thought you were going to set your paper on fire.” She smirked and patted Maya’s leg. “So, who’s the song about?” Raising an eyebrow at Maya made Maya divert her eyes, lowering her head.

“My ex.” She said quietly. Her long blonde hair blocked most of the steel blue coloring of her eyes from Sam’s gaze.
“He sure sounds like you like him. A whole lot.” There was an emphasis on whole in her southern drawl. Sam tucked her fire-engine red dyed hair behind her ear and she softly asked, “You still care about him a good deal, don’tcha?”
Maya hadn’t had anyone ask her that in awhile. Generally, the people in her life treated her with such fragility even she was afraid of being a real glass house. She couldn’t speak on other’s decisions the way she had and most people hadn’t questioned hers. The only person to put more pressure on their conversations over the summer had been Katie. She knew her family’s concern and knew Katie was the spokesperson to get information for mom and dad. “I do.” She confessed after what felt like too much time. She needed to stop overanalyzing and just say what she meant sometimes. “I haven’t really told him. I mean, he knows I care but I don’t think he knows I still love him like I do.”
“What’s his name? Is he handsome?” Sam was intrigued now. She laid back on some pillows next to Maya and waited patiently.
“Oh yeah, he’s gorgeous. His name is Zig. We dated on and off through high school. Things were intense at times, but he never walked out on me. I’m not sure he really would.” She looked at Sam with sincere honesty.
“I wish I had someone like that back home. Though I’m not sure how you can handle feeling like that and being thousands of miles away from him.” Though Sam wasn’t more than two years older than Maya, she felt wiser in her eyes.
“Like, I’m not even sure how to bring it up. He traveled down here with me. We almost kissed at the airport when he left for his gate. We did an awkward hug thing. I don’t know. I mean, he deserves to find someone else while I’m down here. I came here to write, make music. I need to focus on that.”
Sam leaned over and laid her head on Maya’s shoulder. “Why can’t you do both?”

Chapter Text

Zig rolled over and saw Mia grabbing her blouse from the chair. “I don’t really do this” she began, “I think because we got along so well, I got caught up, and..” She trailed off as she buttoned her shirt.
Zig could feel the tension so he quickly cut her off in assurance “Oh, I don’t either, I mean, I’ve never done this actually.” He then thought that maybe wasn’t the best wording. She was quiet and laid down next to him.
“I know we don’t know each other well. Want to know anything?” She said with a small laugh. Her lip stain was a deep magenta and it complimented her olive skin tone.
His eyes were a bit wide and curious. “I’d start with a last name.” He actually was shocked he hadn’t gotten that before.
“It’s Jones. You going to investigate me now?” she teased as she tossed his shirt towards him. She grabbed her skirt while Zig fumbled with his phone and playfully told her he was going to find her on Hastygram. He pulled up her modeling profile. There was Mia in boots, her smiling with some old guy, her applying lipstick, a photo of some muffins she made… he then stopped scrolling. He flashed his phone to her and said “Who’s that? Your sister?” When one gets to know someone, maybe you can find out siblings and last name.
“Oh, that’s my daughter.” Zig’s body felt like it froze right onto the sheet he was strewn upon.
“Excuse me, your what? “I mean, what?” He looked around half panicked. He grabbed the blanket and covered himself.
“My daughter, Isabella. That’s me and her in Milan. She came to a show with my mom a few months ago.”
Truly and utterly stunned, he spit out the only thing he could think of. “How old…are you?” He asked incredulously. He assumed she was a bit older than him since she mentioned working in Paris primarily and finishing high school late due to her work schedule.
“I’m 26. Isabella is 12.” She studied his face which was mostly lost; with a furrow of his eyebrows.
“Oh, my God.” He looked at the comforter and was processing what she was saying. He looked to the floor and and found his pants and decided he should put those on. “My God.”
Mia almost looked offended and then returned the question. “Well, how old are you?”
Sheepishly, he turned to face her as she was sliding her flats on. “I’m 18. I graduated this year.”
“Oh gosh, I thought you meant from college.” She looked a bit shocked now too. Zig’s phone buzzed and it was Mrs. Matlin.

I have to head to pharmacy. See you for dinner. 11:50.

“Mia, hey, I have to go. I’ll call you.” Zig said as he grabbed his coat and rushed out the door, his shoes still untied.

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Maya’s blue sweater draped over her shoulders, covering a polyester black and white polka dot shirt and long Bermuda black shorts. She laced up her black doc martins and proceeded to text Tori. Hey, sorry I haven’t text you back or called. It’s been a hectic first week over here. What days are you free? 9:04 am. Her phone buzzed back as she was shoveling her hair into a loose braid. Sam smirked in her towel and she brushed out her hair. “It is him?” She teased ever so slightly.
Maya rolled her eyes though Sam didn’t see. “No, it’s my friend Tori. She used to live in Toronto with me and Zig. She dated Zig before me.” Sam’s eyebrows raised conspicuously.
“So, is there drama there?” Sam inquired.
“Oh, no. They broke up our freshman year. There was drama there for awhile because we kissed while they were together…” she didn’t finish her sentence but instead glanced over to Sam. Sam’s reaction was absorbed by the words. “I mean, I felt terrible. Obviously. And nothing happened between us after that until they had been broken up for a long time and she had moved to Vancouver.”
Sam nodded and could sense a bit of regret in Maya’s voice. Maya text Tori back. They were set to meet tomorrow, Friday night. Tori said she’d find somewhere they could chat and catch up. Maya was looking forward to a bit of a break from campus, and potentially some better quality food.
Maya presented her chorus that she had only sung for Sam a few times in their room for rehearsal. Half the class seemed impressed. The other half were harder to read. A few students barely lifted their eyes from their phone during her performance with her guitar. The instructor said it was a good start and to began building on it. After class Sam and Maya walked towards the cafeteria and eyed the usual prospects. The yogurt parfaits looked the freshest so they gravitated towards those.
As they sat down, Maya noticed Sam’s glance a few tables over at a tanned guy with dark curly hair. His smile was bright, teeth slightly crooked but not overcrowded. Maya nudged Sam’s hip. “What? Is the fruit bad?” Sam lamely asked as Maya had been picking at her late breakfast.
“No,” She answered cheekly. “I just saw you staring at that guy. You know him?” Maya’s voice was casual. Sam’s rosy cheeks were not.
“No, but I kind of wish I did. We have one class together. I don’t even know what to say to him.”
The schoolgirl crush was kind of cute. But also seemed a bit off kilter for Sam as she seemed more confident of herself than Maya. Maybe it was just how she presented herself.

Chapter Text

Zig laid in Maya’s room and woke up late, remembering slowly where he was. He peered at the walls, mostly empty besides some wall art still up. He replayed a bit of the previous night in his mind when he had arrived at the Matlin’s. It had felt different moving in this time, and he wasn’t sure if it was because Maya wasn’t there or something else. He had originally started putting boxes in Katie’s old room until Mrs. Matlin had taken him aside.
“Put your things in Maya’s room. Mr. Matlin, Frank is staying in Katie’s room.” Her voice didn’t show a lot of emotion and her expression was hidden like a poker face. “If you need more space to store your things, the right side of the garage has some empty shelves.” She was matter-of-fact and direct, which is how Margaret Matlin handled most operations in her life.
Now, fast forward to this morning and Zig was just trying to figure out where he wanted to start the job search. He didn’t have prospects for college, as he didn’t get acceptance to any. He figured maybe he would work for awhile and try to get into a program later. Deep down, he still wasn’t really sure what path was right for him.
Zig reached for his phone and text Grace asking how uni was going. He knew there was some setbacks with her transplant but it seemed when they said goodbye she was doing well. He also sent a text to Tiny to see how he was. Then, as he scrolled his messages he saw his last draft one to Maya. Hey Maya. How’s your first week going? Meet anyone cool?
Upon impulse, he sent the text and hoped to hear back from his friends. Opening Hastygram reminded him of regret… he saw a new photo on his photo feed from Mia. It was a picture of a german pancake and emojis. He still didn’t know what to think of her being so much older. I mean, I guess both of them had misunderstood the age and timeline of the other’s life. A kid, though? Could he come to terms to that?
After dragging himself to the shower while he mulled over Mia, he stood wrapped in his towel while his phone buzzed. Tiny was saying he was doing good and asked what was new with Zig. He also saw a text pop in from Maya and he almost forgot to breathe. At first he didn’t know if it said Mia or Maya on the message and he was already overwhelmed over his feelings.

My room mate Sam is really nice. We had a couple classes together and that’s made it easier. Thanks for checking in on me. She ended it with a smiley face at 2:20pm.

With the time difference he figured she was probably having lunch.

“Damn, I miss you, Maya.” He said and headed to grab some clothes and start the day.

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Friday morning flew by and she met with Sam for lunch. “So, where are you meeting Tori tonight?” She mused as she picked at her brioche sandwich.
Maya chewed thoughtfully and replied “At a Mexican place. I need to check the address again.”
Sam’s eyes wandered to the tanned guy. Her cheeks flushed and she fidgeted with her hair when he glanced over. Her auburn locks looked especially orange today as the light filtered in the window. Maya quietly pondered why Sam was so shy towards this guy.
“Do you have any plans tonight? Maya was trying to distract Sam at this point.
Whipping her head in Maya’s direction she motioned to a few other girls from their music class. “We’re doing a jam and writing session. I would have invited you but I know you’re busy…” Maya brushed it off.
“I’m going to grab a drink and head back to the room. My class was canceled for this afternoon.” Maya briskly grabbed an electrolyte drink and headed for her dorm to prepare for tonight—and take her anxiety medication. She hadn’t revealed to Sam what she was taking.
Upon arriving back in her room she flushed her med down and opened FaceRange. She saw an update from Tori about seeing her later, and she tagged Maya. Maya grabbed her curling wand and a small, portable light up vanity and proceeded to curl her blonde hair. She applied some bronzer and swiped a bit in her eye creases, added a few more coats of “Blackest black” mascara and sponged on a light coral blush. She felt ready with her “game face” to see Tori… she just needed to find something to wear.
Going classic, she reached into her closet for her black sheath dress. Maya’s mother had always stressed the importance of having one for any use. They go with practically everything, Maya. She could practically hear the echo of those words in her mother’s voice.
It was 3:40 now and she reached for her phone and saw a text from Katie.

I think we should get together soon, sis.

She sent a smiley back to Katie and grabbed her keys, preparing to set her GPS to head south on I-5 to Senor Fish. She rolled her eyes with a silent laugh at the name. Of course, that’s where Tori would pick; the reviews were good.
Maya drug herself into the restaurant which was pretty crowded. She felt her phone buzz and Tori was waving at her to come over. The text was from Tori telling her she was seated in the mid section to the left. Well, time to catch up, Maya thought…

Chapter Text

Zig slinked down the stairs into the Matlin’s kitchen. Frank cleared his throat, motioned a small wave and walked out the back door. Mrs. Matlin was grabbing some of her medications and some juice from the fridge.
“I’m working from home today. Are you headed out? You can use my car if you need to.”

His smile was filled with gratitude as he assured Mrs. Matlin he was headed out to check out a few job leads he had seen online. “Yeah, that would be helpful. I’m checking out a bookstore, a restaurant, and I think the library. I didn’t’ mean to sleep in so long today. Is, is Frank okay?”

Mrs. Matlin sat down her cup and looked squarely at Zig. “He’s as fine as he usually is. We’re filing paperwork soon...” She trailed off as she opened other rx bottle.

“Paperwork?” Zig questioned though, he figured it may have to do with them sleeping in separate rooms. He grabbed some oatmeal and poured the packet open. The silence fell eerily around him as he poured the milk and heated it up. Finally, after the microwave had beeped she relinquished her thoughts.

“Things have been tough between Frank and I. I’m sure Maya clued you in on that.” She continued somberly. “We’ve decided to file for divorce. Eventually, we’ll be selling this house I think. No definitive timelines yet, just taking it one step at a time. We have a mediator we’re working with…”

Zig munched his brunch and suddenly didn’t have much of an appetite. “Does Maya… know? Does Katie?”

She shook her head side-to-side. “Maya, no. Katie, yes. We wanted to make sure she transitioned to uni okay before we drop that on her.”

Zig understood but he hated knowing things about Maya’s life that she herself wasn’t privy to the knowledge of. “Well, thanks for telling me. It makes more sense why I’m in Maya’s room now.”

She smirked for a moment and returned with a worried look. “Please, don’t tell Maya. It’s only her first week there…”

Zig swore himself to secrecy, and grabbed the keys. Time to get this show on the road.

-------

Tori smooshed Maya’s neck against hers in an ambitious, over-zealous hug. She flashed a sparkly smile, showing off her teeth whitening job she recently had done.
“I can’t believe you’re here in front of me. After all this time. Come, sit.” She still demanded attention which had always been a signature trait of Tori’s.

Maya fumbled with her hair and sat across from Tori as the waitress sat down two waters and menus and mumbled “be right back” as she headed to a loud clang coming from the kitchen.
“Yeah. LA traffic is insane.” Maya stated. “It’s been way too long.”

Tori beamed. “I know, from my apartment it’s at least 45 minutes to get here. I tried to pick somewhere in the middle for both of us. It looked good online.”
The waitress slid a plate of chips and salsa on the table and took off before the girls could ask for anything.

“So, what’s been new?” Maya asked gently while she reached for some salsa.

“Well, I have a modeling shoot for a small make up artist here in LA who needed a studio model. She’s working with this designer named Frisco and he makes gorgeous boho style gowns. It’s a small scale thing, but I’m excited to spend my Saturday getting glammed up.” She lifted her hands under her chin to frame her face, which was naturally framed with loose curls cascading down to almost her waist.

Maya noticed the piercing Tori had. “How long have you had that?” She pointed to her mouth. Puzzled Tori looked at Maya, slightly concerned.

“Had what? Oh, this.” She said flashing her tongue with an acrylic bar. “Like, a year.”

“Your parents didn’t care?”

Tori raised her eyebrows when she responded. “They didn’t know until after I had it done. My ex-boyfriend did body modifications and tattoos.”

Maya slurped some water as the waitress sat down two menus and once again, walked away. The service here was a bit ridiculous. “Oh, wow. What was he like?” She treaded gently.

“A mistake. Turns out he also was offering tattoos and stuff for favors. I still can’t believe I slept with him.” Tori’s face showed a range from regret to disgust. “Always get tested.” She said and raised her glass in a mock cheers.

The waitress took their order and refilled their waters. The small break from talking let Maya collect her thoughts. “So, Tori… are you seeing anyone now?” She hoped this would allow time for Maya to not be the focus of the conversation.
Tori scrunched her nose. “No,” she said flatly. “I was thinking of messaging Zig. I saw your guys’ pictures on Hastygram. I wasn’t sure if he was still down here, but I’d like to see him.” Her tone was hard to read.

Maya’s food arrived, sizzling. “That’d be---nice. I’m sure he’d like to hear from you. Do you guys talk much?”

“Aside from liking each other’s photos online or something along those lines, no. But he’s sure grown up. Looks like he’s grown into himself. Did he move down here too?”
The line of questioning felt pressured. Maya’s mind raced a bit before she wrangled in her ideas. “He left the night after I got here from Toronto. He’s actually staying at my parent’s. My mom and dad said he’d be fine to stay there awhile..” It felt like her words were coming out rushed.

Tori cocked one eyebrow at her. “Too bad. I was hoping to hook up with him.” She sipped some water casually and watched for Maya’s expression. “I mean, if you two aren’t together that is.” Her voice was sharp, like it was cutting the tension in the air.
“We’re not. Not right now.” Maya slipped up and said. The interrogation seemed more about Zig and her than it had about catching up.

Chapter Text

The following week felt like a blur. Zig had applied for a job at a few locations on Friday and Saturday and took the bus to a few leads on Monday. By Tuesday, he accepted an offer at a bookstore. It was Friday again and he was finally getting the hang of their organization system.
He had heard back from Grace who was on antibiotics and got a chance to game with Tiny. He missed having his friends nearby. He even heard from Zoe, though he hadn’t been expecting that. He had also received a FaceRange message from Tori that he hadn’t opened. Tori Santamaria was not someone who occupied much time on his brain… though he was curious what she had to say. For the first few years of her living in Vancouver she had cut ties with him and then reached back out over their 11th grade year. It was odd, but he went with it. Maybe she wasn’t mad about the kiss between him and Maya. It seemed like a lifetime ago that that had first happened… when he first realized he had feelings for Maya.
As he approached break time, the clock drug on. He couldn’t wait to get back to the break room and check his phone. A customer came in and greeted the manager, striking up a conversation that Zig purposely tried to avoid.
At last, he was released to the cobweb hallway that led to a small breakroom filled with a mini fridge, a few chairs, a table and some large coffee tabletop books with beautiful images and inspiring quotes. His favorite was one of Ansel Adams. Flopping onto a chair he dug into his pocket and opened up his FaceRange and saw the unopened message from Tori.
Upon opening, he was surprised to find a half-dressed Tori announcing her availability if he was to make his way back down to LA. It was followed with “relief that you aren’t still with Maya.” Was he a topic of conversation? He went to her profile and saw she had tagged Maya in a post with a restaurant called Senor Fish. Hm. He didn’t know they were on such good terms. He wondered what Maya had said to make Tori reach out in such a –friendly—manner.
He closed FaceRange and opened his texts. The heater kicked on and dust flew out into the air, getting into Zig’s eyes. “Gosh.” He groaned as he regain his eyesight.
In case you wanted to see what I’m doing down here. --- Maya. Sent at 4:04 pm. He rubbed his eyes to make sure he wasn’t imagining the text, he hadn’t heard from Maya all week. Her socials had been relatively dead. Inside was a link to a video on Tube4U.
-----------
Maya’s video was circulating on an alumni page on FaceRange and was being shared on Hastygram. The ever popular ex-boyfriend influencer Miles Hollingsworth shared it, hitting several thousand new viewers with her video. She wasn’t sure what to make of it. She hadn’t uploaded a lot of her music online before but Sam convinced her it was a good idea, instant exposure.
Sam’s voice cut into Maya’s thoughts. “This is perfect, and girl you look stunning.” She was rewatching Maya’s video that they had filmed a few days prior. Her red hair was flung over her bed and she looked at Maya admirably. “I wanna be you for a day sometime.”

A puzzled look crossed Maya’s mind. “Psh, I don’t recommend,” she said in a snide remark. “Trust me.” Sam tossed a pillow at her.

“Girl, you look like you have it all made. Family, friends wanting to see you. I don’t have anyone from Biloxi coming to see me.”

Maya retorted, “Well, my life goes a lot better when I’m medicated.” What a loaded statement to make. Maya’s eyes dropped from Sam’s intent gaze to the wall across from her.

Sam gently sat up and crossed her arms over her legs and hugged them. It was like a pseudo hug for Maya but she wasn’t sure she wanted a hug. “Whatcha mean, girly?”

Maya’s head hung back as she leaned against the wall. “I tried to kill myself.” The silence after that remark was deafening. Her skin felt tingly, prickly. She hated to acknowledge what had happened but to explain where she is, sometimes you had to explain where you’ve been. “There was a lot of traumatic things in my life over the past few years. And it seemed like I didn’t need to face it. I felt numb. I’m on anti-anxiety meds which help with depression and they seem to help stabilize me.”

Sam let out a long, exasperated sigh. “That’s heavy stuff, my friend. Thanks for the courage to tell me. It looks like you hated every second of it.” Her last comment was a quip to try to make Maya smile.

And it did. Maya smiled at Sam’s honesty and willing to be understanding and not judgmental, not like Tori and so many others had been.

“Wanna head to the hall and grab some supper?” Sam offered. Maya kicked her legs out from under her and grabbed her purse. “Just need to take one of these.” Revealing the medicine bottle was like a guard she had kept. She was glad to let Sam in just a little more.

Chapter Text

Zig kept thinking about the music video that Maya had posted. He was overcome with the idea that it potentially was about him. When he saw Miles had shared it, it made him second guess himself. Had it really been a tribute to Miles? Could it had been about Cam? Her song about a lover’s lips and wanting to go back to her house, back to maple street (though she lived on Maple Ave) felt like it could have been about any of them. He bit his lip in thought and his phone buzzed.
The boss wanted Zig to take an earlier shift. As he was confirming he could come in, he had an incoming text from Mia.
My mom’s going to a movie tonight with Isabella? Can we talk? 8:02am.
It had been relatively radio silence from Mia lately. As surprising as it was, he contemplated it. They had fun together, and he didn’t know what she wanted to talk about. So, why not?
Sure. I’m off at 4 today. When is the movie? 8:05am.
The incoming text had an address and a time, to arrive around 6. Zig set up using the car with Mrs. Matlin who would be home before then. She had no issues with his usage.
The day drug on. The highlight was stalking a shoplifter in the store and with his hounding, the person abandoned the unpaid stack of books by the window display and bolted. Zig made a log for the owner to check cameras and see if he could identify the person.
Shelving books was monotonous and so slow-paced, Zig wasn’t sure how people managed it though he was grateful to be employed.
His gray shirt and black pants held up against dusty books, giving him an authentic grungy look. He knew he didn’t have a long time to go home and change before driving over but he didn’t want to arrive looking like he was careless either. Zig still wanted to impress Mia.
After a quick rinse-off of a shower and some hair gel he grabbed a red plaid shirt, gray jeans and a pair of high-top converse in a deep indigo color. On his way over, he got a text from Maya but he didn’t have a chance to read it.
Mia’s mother’s house was a beautiful brick home with lined botanical beds with types of ferns that had acclimated nicely to the climate. Though there wasn’t a lot of colorful accents, the white shutters complimented the many red tones of the brick. A birdbath outside had a faux frog in it and he was rested atop a fake lily pad. The porch light was on and a few lights inside could be seen from the long driveway.
When the door opened, Zig was refreshed by Mia’s beauty. Her skin was flushed naturally like she had gone for a jog, though she was in a yellow bodysuit and track pants. She had pink Nikes on and her hair was held back with a few bobby pins allowing her cheekbones to speak out loud for themselves. She smiled shyly at him and reached for the middle of his chest and pulled him inside, kissing him as he drew near.
“This isn’t exactly what I thought you meant by talk,” he murmured as he kissed her back. Through her kiss, he could feel the corners of her mouth turned upward into a smile. When their lips unlocked he looked down at her chin and back up to her eyes, waiting for her response. She just kissed him again and shut the door behind him.
While leading him through the front foyer to the back room towards the couch which was a deep green color, she sat down and motioned for him to do the same.

-------

Maya’s reluctancy to get up had annoyed Sam. She tugged at her blanket once more. “Girl, you have got to get up. We gotta go grab breakfast before class starts.”
Maya had run out of her medication and the last few days had been hell. She released music with overall good feedback and had very minimal interaction, though she should have been working on self-promotion.
It had stung her that Zig hadn’t replied back to the video. Did he not realize the song was for him? Maybe he didn’t care. It was quite possible that the world as Zig knew it, kept on spinning without her.
With Sam’s persistence, Maya threw on some sweat pants, some birkenstocks, and a racer back tank top Grace had helped her pick out. It had faux studs along the neckline and was an off-black color.

“What did you want to do again?” Maya asked Sam because her brain had been in a fog. The tendency to forget things lately was strong. It was in part due to the feeling of overwhelm and in part due to not being medicated.

“Well, I was going to suggest breakfast and class but maybe you need to visit the doc. Girl, you’ve not been yourself the past few days.” The statement was noted with worry on Sam’s part.

Maya shrugged. “Food’s good. Yeah, I’ll call the pharmacy and see if my refill is in. I had to get all my records transferred down here and it was a pain trying to set up insurance.” Maya felt blessed her parents were able to cover her new insurance policy. The state of California’s was higher than she had been anticipating. The Matlin’s knew it was in their and Maya’s best interest to make sure she had access to what she needed to be successful.
Maya bent down to grab her purse for the bottle with the pharmacy number and felt a gush of blood. “Oh my God, can this get worse?” She groaned.

“What’s going on?” Sam said as she packed her guitar in her case.

“My period. Of course it has to start now.” Maya rolled her eyes and fumbled with her toiletry box only to discover she had no sanitary pads, or tampons. She glanced over sheepishly to Sam. “Sam, do you have anything I could use?”

Sam looked over her shoulder and casually asked “Anything you could use?” while she fixed a strap on her sundress.

“Yeah, like a tampon. Or a pad, if you don’t use those.” Maya looked at the floor and felt weird asking.

“Oh, no. I don’t.” Sam said slowly. “You know, you are going to figure it out here in a few months probably anyways, so here goes. I’m trans, Maya. I don’t carry those things.” She hung her head low as she adjusted the waistband of her dress which skimmed her sandals.

Maya’s gaze went quickly to Sam who was purposely not making eye contact. “I really didn’t know. Sam, I’m sorry if that was odd to ask. I just..”

Sam interrupted “Girlfriend, please. It’s fine. I just don’t have those parts.” She said as she motioned to her lower region.

“Got it,” Maya casually said. “Thanks for telling me.”

Sam adjusted her wireless bra and grabbed Maya’s arm. “I bet the health and safety office has something. I’ll go with.”

Chapter Text

Mia’s eyes were prominent under gold eyeshadow which flickered in the soft incandescent lighting above the couch. She leaned forward and slid her body onto his. “What can I say, I missed you,” she teased as she smoothed his slicked back hair.

“Oh, you did?” He said coyly. Zig couldn’t tell if she was being serious or playing hard to get. “What’s there to miss?” He said as he looked down at her.

“You goof.” She said as she stood. “You want anything to drink?” She barely paused before gliding into the adjoining kitchen. The dining table separated the two and Zig caught more family photos of Mia, presumably with her mother and her daughter. The remembrance of her daughter startled him a little. This wasn’t all fun and games, she had someone she had to look out for. He straightened the bottom of his shirt and Mia returned with two glasses of lemonade.

“So, what movie are they seeing?” Zig asked, making small talk.

Mia eyed him for a moment before taking a sip. “You know, I can’t remember what Isabella said it was. Something her friends have been wanting to see. You know, preteen girls.”

Zig hadn’t been around preteen girls in a few years, but he felt out of place responding.

Mia could tell he was uncomfortable so she pursued small talk. She asked how his new job, how his stay was at his ex-girlfriend’s, and remarked on how truly peculiar that was. Zig smiled thinking how sometimes staying in the room he had intimate times with Maya was peculiar, even for him.

He reached in to kiss Mia, and she leaned back against the couch. Had he misinterpreted their interactions? Mia smiled blankly at him, though it looked force. While diverting her eyes to the floor, he reached for her hand, which she finally grasped onto his.
“Listen Zig, I’m trying here. But it felt awkward even during our kiss. I don’t know if I can do this…”

He looked intently in her eyes. He couldn’t tell if they were more entrancing when she was excited, or sad, or whatever this was.
Breaking eye contact, she looked down at her mother’s rug and her gaze was so strong like she was studying the pattern, unlike the reality of her seeing it every day.
“You’re wonderful, easy to talk to, all the things my ex’s haven’t been. But you’re 18. You’re closer to Isabella’s age than to mine. Honestly, it weirds me out a little bit. If I was like 6 years younger, or you were several older, maybe it could work.”

It was understandable, Zig thought to himself. I mean, he was 8 years younger than her and only 6 older than Isabella.
“Yeah, I get it. No problem.” Zig stood, thinking he should leave and Mia arose too.

“Take care,” she said. She might have been the only genuine girl to care about him besides Maya. It hurt a little to walk away.

-----------------

Maya laid in bed that night and could vaguely hear Sam’s podcast she was listening to. She had managed to secure some tampons, and after a quick trip to the store, she had her refill in-hand. She took one out and sat up, grabbing an orange juice she snagged from the caf, and washed it down. She hoped the effects would kick in swiftly. She had been useless in class today.

She luckily had made a friend in the class she had, Lilly. Lilly let her borrow the notes that she had painstakingly tried to take but that her brain didn’t let her. Organizing thoughts when you had so many going was next to impossible sometimes. Then, Maya would think about how far behind she was getting and be near a panic attack. The idea of perfectionism struck her often and she battled it daily.
Sam smiled with her headphones on and Maya gave her a thumbs-up. She didn’t need anyone else to worry about her. The daily texts from her mother were reminders enough. She hadn’t heard much from her father, Frank. She figured he must be traveling for work, or somewhere where his cell reception wasn’t adequate.

Maya opened her Tube4U account and the comments she received brightened her mood a little.
Lots of emojis from Grace, a few from Miles, even Tristen threw her a bone with a semi-nice comment. They hadn’t spoken much since the end of the school year. Still, there was nothing left from Zig Novak… the muse behind the song.
It was impossible not to wonder if he had actually played the video. Sam had assumed he did and tried to ease Maya’s mind but it hadn’t worked.
I’m here for music, she thought to herself. I’m here to try to accomplish music.

She grabbed her pajamas and changed and laid back down. Sam’s back was to her while she was texting someone. Maya wondered if it was the boy from the cafeteria that she often made romantic glances at.
Maya tried to compose a text to Zig. Maybe just to see how his job search is going, she thought. In all seriousness, she wanted to know his thoughts behind the song she wrote.
Hey, how’s it going? Are my parents driving you nuts? 9:40pm.

She waited for a reply and opened FaceRange. In her feed she saw a few friends from campus, some alumni from Degrassi and a couple she had made on a forum she joined. The forum was for people who had attempted suicide.
After refreshing her timeline, she saw Zig tagged in a post. To friends, it read with a photo of Zig and a glass of something. Maya was slightly taken aback. The person who posted the photo was a Mia Jones, a name Maya didn’t recognize.
Upon clicking on her profile she saw Mia was successful, in shape, and gorgeous. Was this the reason he hadn’t been texting her back much? Or why he didn’t check in more? Zig wasn’t hers, and she had to remind herself of that. He was allowed to see whoever he wanted. She just hoped this girl with the prettiest smile, wasn’t it.

Chapter Text

Mrs. Matlin handed Zig a list of things to get at the store. Her body was having a flare and she called out of work. “I’m headed to bed to lie down. Thanks for doing this.” She smiled at him as he grabbed her key chain and headed out in the rain.

The rain was beating down on his leather jacket as he headed to the supermarket. Parking was a breeze to find, and the items were easy to find. His mind started to wander and he began to think about school. He knew should probably retake a few courses but wasn’t sure how he should go about it.

After leaving the store, he turned in the direction of Degrassi. Entering the building felt so familiar and yet so strange. He made his way to Mr. Simpson’s office and proceeded to ask if there was a way next term he could retake a few courses to help him get into university. To his surprise, several students in the past had trail blazed that path. He left with some forms to fill out and some well wishes from Mr. Simpson.

Zig’s phone fell out of his pocket when he reached Mrs. Matlin’s car. He noticed he was video calling Maya. He reached for it and knocked it down further past the seat belt buckle.
“Hello? Zig? Hello? You okay?” Maya’s voice sounded confused.

“Hey, Maya, I dropped the phone, hold on.” He shuffled the seat backwards and was able to retrieve it and he pulled the phone up to see Maya on a bed and the shoulder of another person. He flashed a smile at her and it was returned.

“Man, feels like I haven’t see you in forever.” She said quietly. In reality, it had only been a few weeks since her classes had started and he had flown home to Toronto but he understood what she meant. It was like his home had up and shifted on south.

“Yeah, for sure. How’s school?” He asked as he sat down and closed the door, nestling himself some privacy in the parking lot.

“Oh hey, is that him?” Zig heard a voice he didn’t recognize and a flash of red hair. A lady with amber eyes was grinning from Maya’s left side.

“It’s Zig, yes.” Maya exclaimed as she looked flushed. He wondered how this girl knew about him.

“Maya Matlin, what have you been telling people about me?” He inquired playfully.

Maya’s eyes darted away from the camera, presumably looking at whomever was there. “Not people, just my roommate, Sam. And school’s going good. I’ve been writing music and practicing more. The weather’s beautiful, we actually went outside to play this morning.”

Zig nodded, listening intently to what she was saying. “That’s good, I’m glad you’re adjusting to the beach life. Have you been to the beach yet?” Zig had remembered Maya saying how she was hoping to go since Santa Clarita wasn’t too far from the Pacific Ocean.

“I haven’t… my weekends have been trying to catch up on things here or going places with Sam…” she smiled meekly.

“And Tori, I see.” Zig said flatly. He still wasn’t sure how to interpret her photo. “She reached out to me after she saw you.”

Maya shifted her glasses and adjusted her shirt collar. “Yeah, Tori. It was cool to catch up, you know. She actually asked about you a lot. Almost as if she had wished you had been there instead of me.” Maya’s expression was poised and not overly excited at the idea.

“Hm. Wonder what she wanted me for.” He hadn’t dated Tori Santa Maria in 4 years. He hadn’t kissed, or otherwise had physical contact since then and no verbal contact until the last 2 years. “Maybe she finally forgave me for us.”

Maya’s eyes widened a little and she looked off towards the side view again. He heard something muffled in the background but couldn’t make out what her friend was saying. “Hey, Zig. I gotta go. Sam needs help with something.” She had put emphasis on the word ‘help’ and he could only estimate it meant her friend was making her uncomfortable. “Bye, Zig.” And before he could say anything, she vanished from the video call.
---------------------------

Maya went for a walk to clear her mind after dinner. Her call with Zig a few hours prior had gone awkwardly. Why was it when they were apart, it was hard to talk, but when he was near they could just exist for hours as if time was a friend between them?
With her earpods in, and some music she headed for the sand. Zig had reminded her she wanted to go to the ocean and it wouldn’t be dark for a few more hours. She was just praying he hadn’t heard the lunacy that Sam had been spewing. She didn’t need him there. She didn’t love him as much as Sam accused her of. Frankly, she was a bit peeved with Sam for stating it while she was on the phone.

She thought of her conversation with Sam when she had hung up. Maya had told her off and explained how inappropriate it was, and if she wanted to be explicitly privy to the knowledge of how Maya felt, she was not allowed to say it to people. It was Maya’s and Maya’s only to share.

The ocean hugged the shoreline and she had wished someone was there to share the view. The sky was hung low and orange, making a fierce contrast to the cobalt blue ocean. She loved sunset and the beach was the perfect escape.
She skipped a few songs and then one came on that reminded her of Cam. She sat down on the sand which was cooler from the sun setting and slipped off her sandals. Maya’s toes squished into the sand, getting cooler and cooler as she buried her feet. She lowered her head into her knees and cried a little. She thought of Cam sometimes, mostly when it related to certain songs or Hockey. It felt hopeless to miss him, but love was lost. How could she not feel that?

Chapter Text

When Zig arrived at a university and sat down with an academic advisor, they were point blank with him about improvements he needed. “Your marks for math are low, and you could use an extra English course.” He remembered getting behind especially in math when he lived with Tiny and his brother and felt he had tried to claw his way out of a ‘F’, and ended with a ‘D’. Barely passing the course was not his intention but a causation of his life. The correlation with drug running and the causation of getting poor marks were definitely related. While he regretted that time in his life, he understood it gave him compassion for people stuck in situations they didn’t outrightly choose.

After arriving back at the Matlin’s, he sat down and explained his plan to Mrs. Matlin. She appreciated the check-in and the steps Zig was taking forward.
Mr. Matlin came in during their conversation and made a remark about talking to the realtor. Mrs. Matlin’s eyes speaking of curiosity but she didn’t inquire anything in front of Zig. He was their room mate, not involved in their legal matters.
“Have either of you heard from Maya?” Mrs. Matlin asked softly. She stirred honey into her tea and exchanged glances with her husband. Zig spoke up to avoid tension. “I did. We talked earlier actually for a few minutes. Sounds like she is hanging out with her friend Sam and liking her classes,” he finished and reached for the fridge door to unload the cold items.

Mrs. Matlin kept her eyes on her husband, waiting to see if he had anything to add. “Nothing here.” He replied and grabbed the mail.

Zig made an excuse to head up to his room and was glad to get out of the dining room. Outside his room was a family portrait of the Matlin’s. No one had despair in their eyes, no one looked broken. Simpler times, he mused.
Flinging himself on the bed, he opened his phone to check his work schedule. An email containing a training day amongst his normal shifts seemed a bit odd. Quickly he shrugged it off and found himself on Tube4U. A song Maya posted appeared along with a guitarist on the bed. He presumed the redhead to be Sam.

“Wouldn’t you believe me,
If this day started out,
Without you trying to leave me,
In this moment of doubt,
I know, I know you can’t reappear,
But somedays, somedays, somedays,
I’ll all but disappear. "

Maya thanked the viewers and asked for people to subscribe to keep updated on how the song develops. Despite the content of the song being so gloomy, she appeared radiant and healthy. It drove Zig nuts sometimes trying to figure out what was on her mind.

----

The weekends blurred together as she furiously worked on her songs. The assignments weren’t due for another month and a half but Maya was already feeling confident in the work she was doing. Sam had been encouraging her to post online and it had garnered a following of 8,000 subscribers within a month. Halloween was edging closer and Santa Clarita was finally cooling down, prompting Maya to drag her sweaters out.

Sam picked one up and held it up to her own body. “This right here. This is the one you should wear.”

Maya looked up briefly to see she had picked a lavender oversized sweater. “For what?” She went back to trying to find the perfect synonym for “wrecked”.

“Your date. You know. How’d you forget already?” Sam’s voice rose in pitch as she asked the incredulous question.

Maya pushed her straight blonde hair behind her ears. “It’s not a date. He asked me to help him study.” Maya brushed Sam’s inquisition off.

“Nuh uh, no way chickadee. He asked you to go to grab dinner and THEN hit the library.” Sam held up some legging options to go under the sweater. “This would highlight the rear,” she proposed as she held up a pair of motocross leggings with faux leather going down the side seam.

Maya ignored her as she kept trying to count the notes as she wrote. Her phone dinged.

Hey, I’m thinking of coming this next weekend, I don’t have class Friday. Would that work for you? 3:02pm from Katie.
Maya confirmed in her calendar she didn’t have anything and replied that she would love to see Katie. She could crash in her and Sam’s room, as she knew Sam was looking forward to meeting her sister. And after a five hour drive, she’d want more time with her.

“Hey, Sam. My sister’s coming next weekend. Maybe we could go to LA and do something,” Maya said without looking up from her smart phone.

Sam squealed a bit. “The legendary soccer star. Can’t wait.” She smirked though Maya wasn’t paying attention. “How about this?” She asked while holding up a blue sweater dress.

Maya eyed her with an eyebrow cocked. “I don’t want him to think this is a date.” Her voice rang clear and confirmed to Sam that the suspicion she had was right. She was holding out for Zig Novak.

Chapter Text

Zig slowly drug himself into work and met his new coworker, Chloe. She was eccentric with orange hair with red tips, dark green eyes and tan skin. She had long fake nails and smelled slightly of cigarettes. She had informed him she was 20, new to Toronto and had moved from Calgary. He didn’t know much about her hometown, and she didn’t offer up much information. She was stoic and left conversations a bit starry-eyed. He trained her on the register and their organizing system. He left her to sort dropped off donations while he slid in the back to make a phone call.

While back in the dusty hallway, he found some catalogs he needed to ask the boss about. As he was carrying them, he felt his pocket buzz. He got a text from Mia asking if he wanted to come over for an late Thanksgiving with some of her other friends. He texted her back to let her know depending on the day that he’d like to.

Maya had posted a few posts on her Hastygram teasing her new song, which he was gaining more anticipation towards. He hoped she would maybe at least announce what this one was about, or whom. He noticed a comment from Jonah and rolled his eyes.

“Hey Zig, where do these go?” Chloe asked slightly annoyed. He raised his eyebrows and greeted her at the counter, stack of catalogs in hand.

“Those go over in non-fiction, there’s a section for retired magazines.” He said dryly. He pointed to the corner and fixated his attention to the customer approaching, someone who looked familiar.

“Hey Zig. It’s been awhile.” The woman smirked coyly and her hair brushed past her shoulders. It was surreal to see Zoe. She had a purple strapless romper and a cardigan overtop that was gray chevron pattern. A woman with short blonde hair wrapped her arms around Zoe’s waist and smiled at Zig. Zoe’s smile was genuine, far more genuine than she had ever smiled at him. He was happy for her. Watching someone being harmed and then living happily was refreshing. He rang her up and handed over her book, appearing to be a history textbook. “Give me a hug.” She demanded playfully as her partner released her embrace. He squeezed her and told her she looked nice in which she smartly responded with, “of course.” With that, Zoe Rivas left with her blonde partner and headed south.

“Was something there?” Chloe asked carefully. She adjusted her hair into space buns and eyed him from the corner of her eyes, her eyeliner exaggerating her almond eyes.

Zig looked troubled. What was it about him that women always thought another one wanted to be with him? “A long time ago. She’s more interested in the ladies these days.” He smiled quickly and grabbed a stack of coupons.

“Seems like she might still like you though, she lingered before she let go.” Her voice was cool and collected. Zig shook his head. No. No way.
------------------

It had felt weird to Maya to have thanksgiving be just another day. She generally had spent time making snack foods with her mom and previously Katie before she moved to California. In the US, Thanksgiving is in November and for Canada, it was usually mid-October. Sam and her went out for dinner together as a small celebration and she was looking forward to seeing Katie.

She had went to a local store and got a small twin air mattress and an extra pillow to accommodate her sister. An update provided by Katie let her and Sam know she was still a few hours out as they made their way to the cafeteria for lunch.
“I can’t wait to meet her.” Sam was excited and looped arms with Maya as they prepared to get in line. They both were pleasantly surprised to see some lasagna so they snagged that before grabbing a seat.

“Hey Sam.” A guy slid himself inbetween Maya and Sam. The guy smelled lightly of marijuana and a cologne with a dark, musky smell.
Maya stayed quiet as Sam scooted over and shakily replied, “Hey. Did you need the notes from class?”
He smirked with the corner of his mouth and wrapped an arm around her shoulders. “Nah. Just wanted to see if you were busy tomorrow night.” Maya knew Sam had plans with her and Katie but she shook her head “no” to signal to Sam it was fine if she canceled.
“I guess I’m free. Whatcha thinkin’?” She asked innocently. This guy hadn’t shown a lot of interest in her so far, despite her stealing glances and laughs with him. They had worked together on a few projects and Sam had confided in Maya how she thought this guy was sweet, a free thinker, inventive. These qualities seemed appealing.

“Dinner, maybe a movie. A normal date.” He said as he undid his arm from around her.

This took Sam by surprise. Her cheeks were rosy and she visibly looked almost uncomfortable. Maya broke eye contact to try to make her less anxious and picked at her lasagna. “Yeah. That sounds nice.”

“Great, I’ll text you,” and with that, he retreated back to his friends a few tables diagonal from them.

“Maya, what just happened…” Sam said as her cheeks began to return to a normal color. She began nervously shoveling lasagna in her mouth while waiting for the dissection of this man by Maya.

Taking a deep breath, she looked at Sam and smiled. “You’ve had a crush on him for like 2 months almost. This is good.” She tapped her hand and reassured her. “We can pick something out for you. Katie won’t mind helping get you ready. She missed out on my prom, so I think she’d like it,” Maya rolled her eyes.

Sam nodded slowly and chewed. “That’s very kind. I don’t know what to wear. I wonder what movie he’ll pick.” Her mind was racing and Maya could see it painted across her face.

Chapter Text

Zig worked on a packet to be able to take classes for better scores to ensure better outcomes when he applied to university. Nestled inside his room, Maya’s old room, he looked to the floor, where he had slept with Maya for the first time—the sober first time. He sometimes couldn’t believe that was where they had chosen. But, life had a way of showing opportunity, even if it wasn’t the most romantic, the most sought after. He remembered holding her, the sweat on her forehead when he kissed her. Sometimes he dreamed about that. His memory was broken when Mrs. Matlin approached the room and knocked.

“Zig, a word?” Mrs. Matlin called through the door.

“Yeah, come on in.” He said almost embarrassed, though he reminded himself she couldn’t read his thoughts. He also realized how fortunate that was.

“Maya’s dad and I have been discussing the future for the house. Our lawyer is suggesing we list the house now to hopefully get a sale by spring. Less people move here in the winter with Toronto’s snow… So, I just wanted to let you know. I know this will impact you, and you’ve been through a lot. I just hoped with you stashing away money it won’t be as much of a hardship if or when the house sells…” she said delicately.

Zig knew this was a rational option but it did send him on edge. “Yeah, I get it. When you told me about the divorce, I had a feeling. Does Maya know?”

Mrs. Matlin hung her head. “No, she’s coming home for Christmas. We’re flying her here. We wanted to tell her and Katie in person. She at least knows we are getting divorced. She didn’t seem surprised. I think she knows we’ve been unhappy for quite awhile now. Kids are smart… perceptive.” Her eyes met his. “You’ve been a great supporter of Maya’s. We appreciate that,” she added.

“Yeah… Maya’s a special girl.” He said despite knowing Mrs. Matlin didn’t need convincing. “And I’ll start looking into leads for places.”

“It might not sell until spring meaning we wouldn’t vacate ‘til closer to summer. Just with the instability of not knowing, I wanted to let you know as soon as we could. We’re going over paperwork after this weekend.”
Times like this, Zig wished his friends hadn’t all gone off to uni. He knew of a few people he could reach out to. His old caseworker may have new ideas, too, he considered.

He reached for a notepad next to his packet, and Mrs. Matlin took that as her cue to leave. Zig reached for his phone to look at online listings and saw a recent text message from Mia Jones. He smiled because he had plans for his Friday evening, a miraculous opening since he often worked Fridays. He was attending a late Thanksgiving at her home.

Bring a pie, please. 8:03pm. Alright, he could do that.

------------------
Katie’s arrival was predictable. She arrived packed neatly and with a sleeping bag. Her dark hair was braided back and she had on sportswear. Tennie shoes in a fluorescent green topped off her look. She bonded quickly to Sam and was excited to help her get ready.

They looked through Sam’s closet and reached for a handful of garments. Somethings weren’t “Date” appropriate, some Katie felt revealed too much, some Maya thought were too conservative. Finally, they settled on a denim dress and red belt. Sam slipped on a slouched beanie after Katie meticulously curled her hair with a 1inch barrel. Maya and Katie took turns applying make up.

“This is what you’ve been wanting. Sam, it’s gonna be good.” Maya remained calm and confident for her friend.

“I dunno. It feels weird. I haven’t been on a date since high school.”

Maya and Katie exchanged glanced. Katie spoke up, “And how long ago was that?”

“About 2 years ago, it was right before I started to transition and got surgery. I wanted to for years prior, but bit the bullet the end of my senior year. Kids were ruthless.”

Katie nodded sympathetically while Maya shook her head. She knew how stupid people could be over things they didn’t understand. She had been scrutinized by people who claimed to care, by some who claimed to love her.

“So is this your first date as a girl?” Katie asked carefully, processing that Sam was transgender.

“Yes. This is the first time. Before that people, people thought…well, I don’t know what people thought”, she contemplated as Katie swiped a deep peach across her fair cheeks.

Maya pointed up to direct Sam’s eyes so she could apply mascara. The black was a bit harsh but, made her honey-colored eyes more prominent. Sam’s freckles were fading but gave her a bit of warmth where the blush wasn’t touching. A deep navy eyeliner matched the dress in the color-family and played nicely with her fair skin. She looked classic with a trendy twist.

Sam knelt down to look in Maya’s mirror and smiled as she twirled slowly in the dress. The denim swung around her hips and hit her knees. “Thanks guys. I feel pretty. I owe you that.” She said pointedly.

“Sam, you ARE pretty.” Maya said unabashedly. She fixed the back strap to Sam’s dress and smirked. “Oh, and some perfume,” she exclaimed while squirting a few directed areas on Sam.

Katie laid back and watched as Maya made the finishing touches on Sam’s look. It assured her she wasn’t alone here and trying to be strong. Santa Clarita was helping her gain her footing with it’s flowing lifestyle and musical vigor. She could see her sister was excelling here, and wondered how she felt about what was going on back home. It was hard for Katie, the oldest child to know her parents were splitting. She had planned to bring it up and see how her sister was fairing with the news.

Chapter Text

Zig arrived later than he usually ate for the late Thanksgiving at Mia’s mother’s house. She greeted him warmly and introduced her to her friends who were older than he was. He was a few months shy of legal drinking age, but her friends poured him wine regardless, not asking any questions. He assumed he was the youngest one there.

Seated around the table, her friends shared what they were studying, and what they were working on at their jobs. Project managers, a photographer, a human resources compliance officer, an indie musician. The musician was a singer/songwriter reminded him of Maya in the passion she had when she spoke about her music. He remembered how in the zone Maya was when she wrote, and this girl sounded just as invested.

“So, did you guys go to school together?” Zig asked towards everyone but made eye contact with Mia.

“This is Lyla, sorry for not doing introductions earlier,” Mia stated. She motioned with her serving spoon to the girl directed across from her. We both went to Lakehurst back in the day,” she said in a teasing manner.

“Don’t remind me. Wild times.” Lyla had sandy brown hair, very straight, a narrow nose and light green eyes. “We didn’t know what we were doing but we had fun doing it.”

Mia picked up when Lyla had finished, “Truly, you were one of the only real friends I had after I got pregnant with Isabella. The smile on Mia’s face was appreciative. Zig could easily perceive Lyla was important to her.

Lyla raised her wine glass and took a drink. One of the guys interjected to share that they had met on a project for a company she had been with. He was polished and well kept.

The photogragher, Sam Gallagher passed the mashed potatoes to Zig. “I met Mia on set,” he said quietly. He looked up at Mia and she flashed a smile at him, which seemed to loosely relax his shoulders. Sam was a shy man who only contributed to the conversation when he felt it was relevant.

The evening was pleasant and the food was good. Zig hoped his storebought apple pie was received well. He had to leave before the event was over to prepare for an early morning. “Mia, I gotta take off. Thank you for inviting me, bye everyone.” He rose from the table and Mia joined him and walked him to the door.

“I’m glad you came. I’m glad we’re able to be friends,” Mia said as she went in for a hug. His hand rested on the small of her back and he gazed at her for longer than a friend generally would. She teased her hair in the back with her fingers and smiled at him, looking at his appearance, noticing his stubbly facial hair on his chin and lower cheeks. It made him look older and she almost forgot, he was 18.

---

Maya laid down next to Katie, leaning on her. “What’s on your mind, sis?” Katie asked.

“Well, the guy I hung out with didn’t call me or anything. Like it was just studying and dinner but I thought we hit it off, kind of. It’s been a week.” Maya said reflectively. Maybe she was more damaged than she thought. Maybe people could just detect it within her. She hated the self-doubt but she generally didn’t not get the attention she wanted.

Katie rubbed Maya’s shoulder. “Do you have class with him? If so, just talk to him.”

Maya rolled her eyes and scoffed. “If he wanted to, he would.” She sat up abruptly and went to grab her hair brush.

“Maya, if you wanted to, you would? Why are you putting all the responsibility on him?” Katie asked unphased. She knew her sister was one for dramatics.

“Please, you generally have people fawn over you.” Maya retorted.

“And you don’t? I mean, that’s hypocritical to say…” Katie’s tone was becoming more direct, defensive.

Maya shot Katie a nasty look. “What’s that supposed to mean?” Her tone got deeper as she asked, signifying her anger that was growing.

“Zig, Maya. He’s been obsessed with you for years.” Katie shook her head. This conversation had taken a turn she hadn’t been expecting. She just wanted to talk about their parents divorce.

“So obsessed he cheated with Zoe.” She replied coldly as she stroked the brush through her hair, catching small tangles at the bottom. Her smile had faded and she turned to chase Katie. “That was awful.”

“Drew cheated, too. I get it. But Zig has been trying to make amends ever since. Drew never did. All I’m saying is if you want to talk to this guy… just talk to him.” Katie got up and grabbed her windbreaker. “I’m taking a walk,” and she turned on her heel and vanished.

Maya sat down on her bed and cried. Why did what her sister say infuriate her and make sense at the same time? She both hated and loved that quality about Katie. She had always been a steady rock in her life. She hated how her emotions were sometimes manipulated by men. Why couldn’t she be stronger? Maybe she needed to be more like Katie.

Tears were still lightly dropping when she felt her phone buzz. It was an SOS text from Sam.

Everything okay? 7:40pm

No, locked in bathroom. 7:41pm

What happened? 7:41pm

Meet me. Greater Pacific in the Hyatt. 7:43pm.

Ok. Heading over. 7:44pm.

Maya called Katie and explained something was wrong with Sam and Katie offered to drive them to the hotel. Maya was quiet on the ride over, wondering what happened to Sam.
Katie broke the silence “Did she say what happened?”

Maya looked for an update on her phone, in vain. “No, she didn’t seem to want to say. Gave me hardly any details.”

Katie looked concerned and lines between her eyebrows knitted as she picked up speed. “We’re almost there.”

Chapter Text

After thanking her again for the invitation, Zig looked at Mia and swiftly kissed her cheek and let go, though she didn’t. He smiled with a side smile and looked down to her slim, tan arm wrapped around his torso. “Friends, right?” He reached over to her ear and whispered.

“Yeah, of course. You got along well with my friends. Your face,” she said as she rubbed his chin. “I almost forgot how old you were,” she teased. Her eyes closed as she breathed in deeply, her cheek almost touching his. She hated knowing this couldn’t really go anywhere.

Zig looked at her, green eyeshadow the main focal point aside from highlighter on the tip of her nose. Was It always that shiny? Girls did some odd stuff. “Are you going to let go?” He asked a bit cautious. He wasn’t intending to push her away, but this was confusing to him.

She released her grasp at his question and smiled shyly. “Yeah. Duh,” she said playing off her attraction. She tapped his chest and thanked him again for coming, and Zig made his way to the Matlins’ car he was using. He stopped to grab some gas and lamented on his feelings. He didn’t have Maya, nor did he have Mia. Why was it when someone genuinely cared, it just couldn’t work out?

He stopped outside the residence and saw Mr. Matlin storm out with a scowl on his face. He made eye contact for a split second with Zig and headed to his vehicle and headed south. When Zig made his way to the front door, Mrs. Matlin was near the window, peering out.

“Everything okay?” He asked.

“Not exactly. He’s upset at me. It’s nothing you did.”

Zig assumed this to be true being he hadn’t been home a lot. “So, nothing either of us can do about It right now?” He asked trying to remain the neutrality in his voice. He didn’t want to set off Mrs. Matlin either.

“He’s being childish, if I’m honest,” she replied curtly.

Zig simply nodded before making an exit. He didn’t remember his parents having passive aggressive fights, though his parent’s arguments turned straight more aggressive. He was relieved there wasn’t going to be a lash out leading to physical violence. Mr. Matlin wasn’t the type to injure his wife.

He zoned in on his phone in his room, a healthier way to disassociate from the Matlin’s problems. Checking FaceRange, he saw an update that Katie was in Santa Clarita visiting her sister. He wasn’t close to Katie by any means, but she had mostly been kind, considerate to and of him. He knew Katie was a constant for Maya, when Maya allowed.

His phone rang and an unknown number popped up. Playing roulette he decided to answer it. Chloe’s hushed voice was on the end of the line. “Can you meet me to jump my car? My battery died.” He didn’t really have time to question before she blurted out the address and hung up.
----------

Maya made her way to the bathroom off the restaurant of Greater Pacific, with Katie in tow. “Sam, it’s me,” she announced to the few stalls inside. She saw in the middle stall a familiar pair of flats and Sam’s purse. Sam broke out in sobs knowing her friend was there and she was able to let her guard down.

“Oh my word. Thank God you got here. Is he still out there?”

Maya wasn’t sure, she hadn’t been concerned. “I.. I’m not sure. I can go look?” Maya offered.

“Would you?” She asked, her voice low and heavy.

Maya asked Katie to stay by Sam, and scanned the restaurant. She didn’t see him anywhere.

Shoving the door wide she reassured Sam, that he had left. Now maybe Sam could inform her on what happened.

Upon opening the stall door, Sam had a bruise on her cheek, and the corner of her eye was black.

Maya’s eyes got wide. Katie looked at Sam and then to the ground, unable to talk in fury. Maya hugged Sam and she leaned down on Maya’s shoulder and silently sobbed.

Maya hugged her tighter, reaffirming her safety with her. “Do you want to go home?”

“Yes.” Sam answered desperately. “I don’t know if he paid for our meal though… I have to—”

Katie stopped her and held up a hand. “I’ll go pay it if he didn’t. You shouldn’t have to deal with that right now.” She tossed the keys to Maya.

Maya linked arms with Sam and they sat down in the car.

“This was a stupid idea. I shouldn’t have gone.” Sam confided in Maya. She was blaming herself, a commonality for abused women.

“No. He shouldn’t have hit you. I don’t understand why he did it..” Maya remarked.

“He found out I’m not all woman….” Sam said gloomily. “This is part of why I don’t date.”

“Oh… did he get close enough to you to find out?” Maya asked, knowing they were at a restaurant.

“He wanted to make out so we went to the hallway by the bathrooms, and he got a little handsy. When he reached down there, he found something he wasn’t expecting to find. He told me he wasn’t a homo, called me a freak… and smacked me. I opened my eyes----” she left off, beginning to cry. Maya reached over in the car and hugged Sam. The lights of the parking lot kissed the top of their heads and Katie saw Sam’s red hair in the passenger seat and slid in the back.

“Maya, you can drive back. K?” Katie suggested warmly. The gift her sister usually had was the ability to read the room. Her tender hearted nature was something Maya missed and she was glad her sister was there.

“I don’t’ know what to do. We have class together.” Sam laid back against the seat as Maya pulled out of the parking spot.

“Report him. Let him burn for what he did.” Maya replied. Vindication for Sam was needed. Maya would make sure of it.

Chapter Text

Mrs. Matlin woke Zig from a dream about fighting a wizard in Harry Potter. It was odd, since he didn’t enjoy the books much. He sat on the edge of his bed, acutely alert since her tone was quite serious.

“I need you to drive me to the hospital.”

“Uh, okay. What’s going on?” He asked hastily.

“My eyesight. I need to go in. I called the doctor, and they suggest I go in.”

He grabbed some pants and asked Mrs. Matlin if she needed help to the car, which she was thankful for. He wheeled her out and helped lift her inside before asking which hospital. He hadn’t been around much when a relapse of her MS was happening.
“Michael Garron Hospital. Doctor is meeting me there.” Her voice was rather unphased. “I’ll need your help calling Katie. She is part of the team who is allowed my medical records.”

“Yeah. We can do that when we get there.” Zig affirmed.

He weaved in and out of roadways to try to get there quicker. It was only 9:02am and he was expected at the store at 10 to do inventory. He wasn’t sure he’d make it on time.

Once he pulled in and helped her call Katie, he called into work and let his boss know the situation. With a sigh, Zig was given permission to come in later and catch up inventory. He was assured Chloe would cover the front desk while he did that.
After helped Mrs. Matlin inside and getting her through the check-in process, he headed back out to the car. His mind raced about the obvious. Or the obvious to him. Did he call Maya?

He sat and drummed his hands on the steering wheel. It was clear this was something Maya would want information on… and no one had told him not to tell her…
He looked outside and saw a mom walking her toddler inside the hospital crying. Zig also had a realization that Maya may not take the news well. It felt like a risk he was willing to take to stay in her good graces.
He dialed her number, with no answer. He hung up and dialed again. A muffled voice replied “hella?”
“Maya? It’s Zig.. are you okay?”

“Oh. Hold on. It’s Sam. Maya headed out to the bathroom for a minute. How’s it going?” She said with a bit more oomph, but still very fatigued.

Before he could answer, he heard an alert Maya. “Hello?”

“Hey Maya, it’s Zig. I don’t wanna panic you but your mom had me drive her to the hospital. Her vision is messed up. I..”

Maya interrupted asking if her mother had her phone, if her father knew, if Katie did. He did the best he could answering her questions before Maya’s end of the conversation became strikingly quiet. “Are you alright?” He asked while knowing her silence was confirmation that she wasn’t.

“I will be. Thanks for calling. Katie should have.”

Zig tried to diffuse her emotions. “Katie just found out. Literally. Please don’t be mad.”

“I’m not. I’m scared.” She confessed. Santa Clarita felt exceptionally far when he knew she needed a hug.
---------------------

Maya skipped her classes for the day and tried to drown out her issues with flipping through magazines. Sam had checked in on her and brought her a scone from caf, at a feeble attempt to cheer her up.
It was the middle of November. She casually messaged Miles, wanting to talk about anything besides what was going on at home. He told her about London and traffic being worse than Toronto and missing his time by the pool. It was getting cold there and he always hated that about Toronto. He was jealous of her sunshine. She joked that he could have went to school in California. They take trust money there too, but in her heart she knew the London Writer’s Academy was such a quirky fix for her ex. Reminiscing made her heart feel lighter and gave her more energy to go search for dinner. By the time she had looked at the time on her phone it was 7:40pm.

She grabbed a lasagna and took it back to her dorm room. Sam was eating dinner with a friend and likely wouldn’t be back until late.

She rang her mother with no answer. No word from Katie minus that she hadn’t heard much from their mother’s doc; supposedly they were discussing a steroid for nerve pain and potentially other testing.

Maya begrudgingly took one of her anxiety medications. She knew at times of high stress she needed to be vigilant about keeping on schedule. Burn out was only a decision or two away.

With Miles being busy and most of her other friends preoccupied… she thought of Zig. She hadn’t heard much from him and had intentionally been keeping her distance. She wasn’t sure what was going on with him and the Mia girl… he didn’t reach out much and had made no comments on her latest music. Even the song in regard to him didn’t garner attention.

Pulling up her giant comforter over her, she dialed his number. She counted the dial tones. Three, then and answer.

“Hey, you okay?” He said. She selfishly forgot the time difference and could see that his sleepy question was valid.
“Did I wake you?” She asked. “It’s like 11:30 there. I’m a dunce.”

“No, it’s alright. I’m, I’m just laying here.” She couldn’t tell if he was lying.

“Have you heard from my mom, by chance?” She asked optimistically.

“… I have not. Have you asked Katie?” He offered as a solution.

She smiled, remembering how thoughtful he could be. “Yeah, she mentioned a little bit about medications they’re trying. I just wasn’t sure if you heard anything new. You know, it’s really good to hear your voice,” she confided.

Chapter Text

Zig murmured towards the end of their conversation, hardly making sense. He was tired but had an exceptionally hard time admitting he needed to go. He rarely talked to Maya, and he didn’t want to toss an opportunity.

“Well, I ought to let you sleep. It’s like midnight,” Maya confirmed.

“Y-yeah, It is. Maybe call me tomorrow, let me know if you hear anything,” he concluded.

“I will. Thanks for answering. I’m looking forward to coming home for Christmas break.”

Christmas break was only 5 weeks away. She’d be here in the flesh. He almost woke up more due to thinking about it.

“Night, Zig.”

He hung up and dozed before his alarm woke him at 7. He went for a jog, played a little video games, and made an omelet before work. Zig quickly walked to work with his head phones in, drowning out the city sounds.

When he walked in, he saw a frazzled Chloe. “This is so stupid. I don’t understand the new software for the inventory. And of course, the boss won’t meet me to show me again.”
“You locked out?” He teased.

“I don’t find this amusing,” she claimed as she crossed her arms. Her hair fell in her face, and her pout that she was faking was turning into a slight smile. They hadn’t spoke much since he went to jump her car. She had seemed agitated and wouldn’t tell him what was going on, but since he didn’t know her well, he just brushed it off. Today, she seemed in a much more pleasant mood, despite her annoyance.

“Here,” he began while opening the screen. “You enter in this code, before you search the title, or you can enter the author’s last name if you know it. Then you double click add to add a copy to the inventory.”

“All this for a book,” she said as she rolled her eyes. He could tell she didn’t particularly care to read by her general disinterest.

“Some people like to enrich their mind,” he joked with raised hands. He motioned in a semi circle, like a giant rainbow was above him.

“Sounds lame,” Chloe flatly said.

“Sounds like revenue which sounds like employment for us,” he reminded her as he grabbed a stack of vintage catalogs. “You need anything else?”

She grabbed his arm lightly. “Thanks for showing up. Not a ton of people would have.” Her eyes were intense and deep.

“Yeah, sure. Glad I could help. Weird your battery was tampered with.” He walked away as she diverted her gaze to the computer. A few click of the buttons and he headed off to the rare shelves.

As he shelved the magazines, attempting to find copyright dates his thoughts drifted off to Maya. And her mom. She hadn’t heard from any of the Matlin’s, though it was only 10:30. He thought about Christmas and how they had spent time making Christmas gingerbread cookies with her mom a few years prior. It was one of his last Christmas memories that he fondly remembered.

--------------------
Maya went to her first class with her mind distracted. She had a solo presentation later in the week and her focus should have been on that… instead of Titus. The surfer from a few weeks prior and their date had been her mind’s preoccupation while she feebly tried to wait for her mother to call. They had finally shared a short conversation before he asked her out again, which came as a surprise. His ghosting behavior had been pretty clear-cut to her that despite what she had interpreted, that he didn’t feel the same.

As the professor called out the pages the students were to reference, she felt her phone buzzing in her bag.

“Hey Honey,” a familiar voice said quietly. “I get to go home probably in a few days. I just wanted to let you know.” A wave of relief rushed over her. Her mother wasn’t usually in the hospital for more than a few days.

“Have you let Zig and dad know?” Maya asked.

“I left Zig a voicemail. He’s at work…as for your father, no. He didn’t take my phone call. I’m about to call Katie.”

“Is dad purposely not answering?”

“Likely. He’s talking to our realtor about some things and hasn’t been including me. We’re working it out though, I don’t want you to worry. Focus on your classes. We’re excited to have you home.”

“Yeah, me too.” She smiled at the idea of preparing mashed potatoes and deviled eggs with her sister and mom.

“Your dad is going to open gifts with us and come over for dinner. He’ll head to your aunt’s for the other time, I think. So you’ll stay in his room, Katie’s old room.”

Maya was silent for a longer pause and her mother told her she needed to go, the nurse needed to do some task. She hung up and headed for her dorm room.

Sam was on the phone with local PD to check up on her case against the guy she had been on a date with. The prosecutor was supposed to call her, though cases were sludging through the system slowly. Sam was able to talk to the school and he was suspended pending an internal investigation for title IX violation. He had tried to intimidate Sam outside their shared class, and fortunately the school was taking that seriously.

“Everything okay?” Maya asked as Sam set down her cell phone.

Sam tried to hide her tears as she laid down. “I just want this all to be over.” She said as her body heaved into her body pillow. Her sobs were silent, powerful and shook her hair over her broad shoulders.

“I know. I hope you never have to see him again,” she thoughtfully said. She knew her friend would have never consented to a date with someone so monstrous.

Chapter Text

Zig sipped his mocha as he drummed lightly on the steering wheel while waiting for Mrs. Matlin. He drummed along with the song he was listening to and missed his instrumental times. He made a mental note that maybe he could play something with Maya when she came back the next month. He was going to suggest he could play something for her to sing to and post it online while she was home. Zig pulled up Tube4U and nothing new on Maya’s channel had been posted.

Hey, what’s new? Came an incoming text from Tiny 10:34am.

Not much man. How’s school? 10:35am.

Good. Excited to come home for Christmas. Wanna catch up? 10:38am.

He text him back a quick confirmation as he saw Mrs. Matlin being wheeled out to the SUV.

Definitely. Text me when you land. You staying with your brother? 10:40am.

Zig helped Mrs. Matlin into the vehicle and adjusted the seat to ease some comfort. She looked weak, pale. Notably, she looked happier and in less pain.

“Thanks for picking me up. I do appreciate you.” She said as she pat his shoulder.

The ride home was done in silence, he didn’t know what to say. She had said she was alright and would need him to run to the pharmacy if he had time. He didn’t mind, he only needed to file some papers at the school.
“Do you need anything?” He asked as he helped her to her room.

“No, no. I’m okay. I just need to rest. I’ve taken off the rest of the week from work.”

He nodded in understanding. “I’m going to go lay down. Yell if you need me,” he replied. Zig was starting to feel sick… stomach in knots. He decided to lay down and dreamt of some weird scenarios of him back in high school.
He dreamt about the time he had slept with Zoe, only Maya had shown up. He pictured her mouth open in shock, tears welled in her eyes. Maya was yelling at Zoe calling her a slut. Then she started yelling at him, asking why her. That she never should have trusted him if he was going to fall for a slut. In the dream, she walked over to a half-dressed Zoe and pushed her, all the while turning to him and saying she hoped he was happy. For the rest of his life, he’d miss her. He woke up feeling confused… because he felt he already was beginning that life sentence of missing her.

He rolled over and texted Maya.

Hey, we should bake some cookies when you get home, you down? 1:05pm.

Yeah. We need to get more of those edible eyes for the gingerbread. Tell my mom. 1:08pm.

He was grateful that even if they weren’t together, they could at least spend meaningful time together.
How’s class? 1:09pm

Maya replied with a photo of herself with her cello, angled up and out so he could see the floor around her. It looked like the same background of her dorm from when they had videocalled, and from her video she posted on Tube4U.
Another text followed: No class until tonight. Rehearsing. 1:11pm.

-------------------------------

Maya was curling her hair when she singed her hand. She was getting ready for a group rehearsal for an assignment. The room was quiet, Sam was out with a friend grabbing coffee after her morning classes.

Her cello case was open with her newest cello inside. It had been her most recent present from her parents before she had headed to university. They called it a late graduation present though it felt like a gift to soften the blow about the tension and impending divorce. Months before her parents told her, she knew it was coming. Her father’s cold stares, her mother’s shortness and the lack of warmth between them had been dead-giveaways. Her father had taken her on a walk late in summer and told her he was in love with someone else, but had made no effort to be with her. She wondered how you could be in love with someone and not act on it… then she went on her trip to California with Zig and understood on a superficial level. It wasn’t the same since she was not married to anyone else. But, she did understand the restraint that came when you were attracted and drawn to someone. She respected that her dad was waiting for the divorce and to move out. Maya hadn’t had the courage to ask her dad about her. It was hard to picture her father with another woman.

She text Katie and asked if she was heading home for Christmas and was surprised to hear she was staying in California to meet a boyfriend’s family. Katie hadn’t mentioned dating anyone, though her last visit had been preoccupied with helping Sam.
I’ll miss you. Well, we both will I’m sure. 3:25pm.

Who’s we? 3:26pm Katie asked.

Me and Zig. We’re already planning gingerbread cookies. I was hoping you’d do the piping. It looks better when you do it. 3:28pm.

Ohhhh. Well, sorry. Meeting Antonio’s brother for the first time. I will let you know if he’s cute… 3:30pm.

She could get a date on her own… and she had. Titus was picking her up tomorrow night and they were going to walk by the piers and grab some cocoa. It didn’t feel cold enough for that to Maya compared to the winters Toronto got, but this was his plan.

Sam walked in the door as Maya was shutting her cello in securely. “Man, coffee at the shop across the street tastes like sewer water.”

“Sam, are you headed home at Christmas break?” She asked coolly.

“Yep, Memaw and Papaw are coming from their homestead in Appalachia. Don’t wanna miss them. Memaw’s birthday is near there too and my ma is surprising her with a cake custom made by the best baker in Biloxi,” she shared. Maya noticed how reminiscent she talked about visiting, which was a stark contrast from her usual complaints of not fitting in.