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It was dark out and the KQ building was quiet. The only thing you could hear were the sound of shoes squeaking as you walked past the practice room. Yet it was far too late for classes to be running, so who was still in there?
He wasn't very confident in his skills, though he knew he had them. He wanted to continue to work on himself and prove he was worthy to debut. After recently switching companies, Yeosang felt the need to do everything in his power to better himself.
He huffs as he looks at himself in the mirror. He just didn't think it was enough. Would he be enough..? His thoughts were interrupted by the sound of the door opening. The lights were on, but not bright enough for him to make out the masked face. The boy had to have been new. To Yeosang's knowledge, all the other trainees went back to their dorms. He looks at the boy through the mirror. He's confused; he brought all his luggage with him? Why wouldn't he go straight to the dorms to pick a bed?
The boy looks at Yeosang and smiles through his mask. He pulls it down to reveal a large grin. "Jung Wooyoung?" Yeosang turns to face him directly. Wooyoung giggled and shrugged. "Hey Yeo, long time no see!" He leaves his luggage behind and goes to hug Yeosang.
"What are you doing here? I thought you were under BigHit?" Yeosang pulls back and looks at all the bags he carried. "About that... I left the company." Yeosang gives him a puzzled look. He was a golden trainee, so why would he leave? Wooyoung must have caught on to his confusion, he followed with; "I joined KQ. I wanted to be here with you."
Yeosang was slightly taken aback. He's never had someone follow him through his training. Not even his own parents. So having wooyoung follow him, made him happy. "O-oh? really..." Wooyoung's eyes change from happiness to worry. "You're okay with that right? Like I'm not overstepping any boundaries? I just wanted to be able to debut with you, seeing as we were so close during our training at BigHit and all-" Yeosang cuts off his rambling with a laugh and quick hit to his shoulder.
"Of course that's fine, actually it's really sweet of you. You have to promise me something though." Wooyoung hums in response, waiting for Yeosang. "We have to debut." Yeosang’s tone is suddenly serious and Wooyoung nods. "Yeah, that’s the plan. If I succeed, it’s with you. If i fail, it’s with you." Yeosang’s heart twists at his words, but he doesn’t know why. He just smiles and brings Wooyoung close to him in a hug. "Glad to have you here, you're gonna love it."
They both agree to call it a night and head to the dorms. After five minutes of Wooyoung insisting he could carry all his bags himself, they arrived at the dorms. "Are you sure you can handle all that? The only open beds are upstairs and I'm more than capable-" "Yeosang please shut up." They both share a laugh before entering the building. The ride up the elevator was peaceful as they both just enjoyed each other's company. As they got to their floor, Yeosang led the way to the same place he was staying.
On the same floor were trainees San and Mingi. Currently, there were only 3 rooms but each room had 2 beds. After showing Wooyoung around a bit, he led them to the hallway with all the rooms. "Straight down is the bathroom. Usually, I wake up super early to use it because classes start at 8am but both San and Mingi like to take their time. Anyway, the room on the left is Mingi, the first door on the right is mine and the second one is San." Wooyoung nods, wondering which room he'd take. Surely, he'd pick Yeosang; but what if that was too much for him?
"Are they awake? Could I meet them?" Yeosang pauses for a moment. It’s very late, why wouldn't he just want to sleep..? Nonetheless, Yeosang nods and knocks on Mingi’s door first. a muffled "Yaaah." is heard from the other side and he opens it. Mingi turns in his bed and squints his eyes to see. He gives up and grabs his glasses from his bedside desk. "Yeosang? you're back now." Yeosang hums and gestures towards Wooyoung behind him. "We got a new trainee today. He wanted to say hi." Wooyoung gives a small wave and Mingi exchanges with a greeting. They quickly bid farewell and move down the hall.
"Fair warning, Sannie does have a lot in his room. So if you choose to stay with him, you’d share a bed with 27 stuffed animals." Wooyoung lets out a chuckle as Yeosang knocks on the door. After the light pitter patter of footsteps, they are quickly met with San’s tired face. "Oh? Yeo? Who’s this?" San points to Wooyoung beside him. Before Yeosang can introduce him, Wooyoung begins to speak. “Hello! I'm new here if you didn't know. I'm Jung Wooyoung. I’m a long time friend of Yeosang. I actually trained with him at the same company before I came here.” San gives him a look of slight distaste and hums. Wooyoung doesn't catch on but Yeosang understands why.
All the other trainees here have been practicing together for quite some time. They already have an established group for debut, they just needed to polish up a few things beforehand. “Well Wooyoung, we all have 2 beds in our rooms. Not sure if you've met Mingi yet, but he's nice. If you choose my room, just knock before you enter.” Wooyoung nods and San closes the door. They walk back out to the common area, where Wooyoung left his bags.
“So, what’s your plan? I’m gonna take a shower and then head to bed. You’re welcome to move into my room.” Yeosang tells Wooyoung. He thinks for a bit before responding. “Actually, I think I might take up San on his offer. He seems nice.” What. Yeosang physically paused at his words. He didn't expect this, but why did it make him feel a certain way..? He brushed it off and made sure Wooyoung didn't notice his slight change.
“Alright then. I’m gonna go shower then. Goodnight, I’ll see you in the morning.” Yeosang throws him a soft smile. Wooyoung grins as he grabs his bags behind him. “Goodnight Sangie! I hope you relax in your shower and sleep well.” Yeosang chuckles and slightly speed walks to the bathroom. He quickly turns on the fan and starts the shower head. His breathing gets heavier and he grabs at his chest. What the fuck. He looks in the mirror and notices the tears starting to swell up in his eyes. He doesn't understand why he feels so emotional, especially right now. One of his closest friends just moved to the same company as him, for him. Why is he crying?
That night, Yeosang couldn’t get much sleep. He ended up tossing and turning, while slipping in and out of consciousness. When light was casted through his window, he finally decided to get up. He walked out of his room and into the kitchen to find Mingi cooking. “Morning, it’s not much but I’m making fried rice and eggs.” Yeosang nods in response, honestly exhausted. “Where’s San and Wooyoung? It's nearly 9am.” Yeosang sits at the small table and gathers food for his plate. “I think they're still sleeping. Shoes are in the doorway.” Mingi replies as he flips over the last of the eggs.
Yeosang hums and slowly picks at his food. Today was an off day for them. Usually on days like these, Yeosang would still do his normal practice routines. He’d warm up his voice and practice his vocals. After that, he’d go to the studio and practice his dance moves. It was different today though. He wanted to show Wooyoung around the company. Introduce him to the other trainees. Thinking of this, he quickly finished his food and thanked Mingi. As Mingi left to do whatever it is he does, Yeosang decided to clean a bit and wait on the couch for Wooyoung to wake up. He turned on some nonsense on the TV and relaxed a bit.
“Young-ah, was the game that serious?!” Yeosang is taken out of his trace by San’s voice in the hallway. He turns his head and sees both San and Wooyoung walk out into the kitchen. Yeosang checked the time on his phone as he stood up from the couch. “What were you guys doing all night for you to wake up at 1pm?” Yeosang asked as he joined them in the kitchen. San and Wooyoung look at eachother and laugh.
What? Why did Yeosang’s heart feel… heavy? It was normal for his friends to have their friends. He’s never experienced this before. Why is it happening now? “Sannie told me he plays League. I had to show him how to properly play Jinx.” San laughs and playfully hits Wooyoung’s side. “And by “properly play” you mean yell at your team while you waste your ultimate?” They both share a quick laugh and Yeosang stares at them. How did they get so close overnight? What happened?
“Oh, yeah Wooyoung’s serious about being the best Jinx main.” Yeosang hums as he recalls their time at the BigHit dorms. “So Woo, I was thinking I could show you around the building today? Since we're off and such.” Yeosang plays with his hands as he asks. He doesn’t know why he feels so anxious, he’d say yes and Yeosang knows that.
“Actually, San and I agreed to do that together. He told me how you usually practiced during off days and I didn’t wanna stop you from that…” Wooyoung tells him. San just looks between the two of them and Yeosang processes. “Oh. Yeah that’s okay. I hope you two have fun then.” Yeosang sends them both a smile before walking into his room to gather his things.
It’s happening again. The feeling he got before getting into his shower. He’s uneasy. Scared even. Yeosang picked up his practice bag and quickly walked out of the dorm, avoiding the two boys. He couldn't focus on anything else. He didn’t want to focus on anything else. Everything around him was a blur as he basically ran to the dance studio. On off days, no one went to the studio besides Yeosang.
As soon as he got there, he blasted the music loud enough to feel the vibrations at the bottom of his feet. What has gotten into him? He was following the moves that he was taught diligently; following the rhythm. But it was all off. Why? Yeosang fell to his feet and the music kept playing. He felt as if he was being suffocated. He brings his head to his knees and lays on the floor.
The door opens and Yeosang hears feet move frantically around the room. The music was shut off and a body was immediately drawn to his side. “Yeo? Yeosang, are you okay?” Mingi’s deep voice drew Yeosang back to reality. He couldn't bring himself to speak, so he resorted to shaking his head vigorously. His breathing was staggered and he couldn’t stop trembling. “Okay, let’s get you back to the dorm-”
“No! Please. Can’t we just- stay here. For a moment. Please..?” Yeosang grabs Mingi’s arm. Mingi stares at him as if to study his face. He nods slowly and takes Yeosang into his arms. They stay in their embrace on the studio floor. The room is silent besides Yeosang’s small sobs. After a while, Mingi moves them to sit against one of the walls in the room. “Do you wanna talk about it? It’s fine if you don’t.” Yeosang hesitates as he plays with the bottom of Mingi’s shirt.
“Did I tell you the reason I joined KQ?” Mingi hums in response. “Well you told us all you were looking for a better opportunity.” Yeosang pulls away from Mingi. He leans against the mirror and stares up at the ceiling.
“I felt myself getting attached to Wooyoung. Not in a best friend way, more than that. I didn’t know how to deal with it so I just… I ran away from it. He’d do all these things with me, then do the same with other trainees. I always thought he’d leave me one day. He’d get sick of me and I’d be alone again. So I told him I was leaving that company but I didn't expect him to follow me. Now it’s happening all over again.” Mingi looks at Yeosang. He isn't looking back though. Mingi searches his face, trying to read his emotions.
“I don’t think he’d leave you. Especially not if he followed you to the same company.” He tries to console the lost boy. Yeosang lets out a weak chuckle and turns to him. “I wish it was that easy to believe. Thank you for the reassurance anyway.” He stands up and collects his items, shoving them into his bag. “I’m gonna go back to the dorm. I’ll see you later.” He walks out of the studio and Mingi is left alone. He basks in the silence, realizing what has happened. Yeosang is attached to Wooyoung. Unhealthy towards Wooyoung.
Over the next weeks, it all became a cycle. Yeosang and Wooyoung would be fine. Wooyoung would get closer to San. Yeosang would go to Mingi for comfort. This day was no different. San and Wooyoung had just left for what they deemed to be a “bro date” and Yeosang made his way to Mingi’s room.
“I don’t get it. It’s like he's doing this to play with me or something. Like he’s pretending we’re okay, then goes off to fuck around with San?” Yeosang sat on Mingi’s bed as Mingi decided to finally clean up his room because of this surprise visit. “I don’t necessarily think it’s on purpose.” Yeosang sighed. “How would you know? What if he hates me, doesn’t want to tell me hates me, and is using San as a replacement for me. I used to be the one. I was by his side until he followed me to KQ and met him.” Yeosang rambled frantically.
At this point, Mingi knew he was close to splitting. He’s spent long enough comforting him to know what his next words would be. He paused his tidying and joined Yeosang on the bed. “How long have you known this guy?” He places his hand on Yeosang's knee, rubbing softly to ease his nerves. “Roughly 4 years.”
“Then why would he leave now? He’s stayed with you all this time just to drop it? Followed you to some entertainment company he knew nothing about because he hates you?” Yeosang couldn't stop shaking. Everything about him was on edge. Even if Mingi’s words were logical, none of it made sense to him at the time. “I’m sorry you have to do this. Dealing with me. I know it’s a lot but I really have no one else.”
“Don’t worry. We’re training to be a part of the same team, I’m here whenever you need me. But I think you should tell Wooyoung about this.” The male lets out a groan of distress. “Are you even sure that’s a good idea? Especially since we’re so close to debuting. I mean, what if he takes it wrong and completely shuts me out?! All of our work together would mean nothing.”
Mingi brings Yeosang into his arms and rubs his back. “Okay. You have to tell him if this feeling gets worse. Take that weight off your shoulders, clear the bad air, and relax a bit.” Yeosang just hums in response. He’s too exhausted mentally and physically to form an actual reply. He committed to himself. Once they debut and if things got worse, he’d confess to Wooyoung.
Except he didn’t. They debuted, things got worse. He kept quiet. No one understood what he was going through during this time. No one but Mingi.
Wooyoung had made it apparent that he would stick to San like glue. San had done nothing to push him away either. In fact, he reciprocated all of Wooyoung's affections. Yeosang hated this; despised it. Sure, he wasn’t naturally one for PDA or actions of such. But Wooyoung never stopped trying with him. So why did he now? and why was San his replacement of choice?
Yeosang had gotten really well at concealing his true emotions. During broadcasts and fansigns, he always managed to be his usual self. Behind the scenes, he was hurting. His thoughts always seem to sabotage himself. Especially now. They were at a fansign event. Fans had taken a liking to the pair they call “Woosan”. Everyone in the group played into this, besides Yeosang and Mingi of course. He was doing fine with masking until he saw it. Yeosang was waving at Atiny when he looked at Wooyoung. Wooyoung had connected their gazes but while doing so, his lips made contact with San’s face.
Did he mean to do that? Yeosang's mind plagued itself with questions he didn’t necessarily want answered. His brain sped up to a million thoughts per second. The tremors in his hands became more prominent and his heart was about to burst from his chest. Fuck.
He ran off backstage to hide inside of their dressing rooms. Mingi saw this and trailed after him. Yeosang had closed the door before Mingi could walk through. Knock knock knock. “Yeosang, please talk to me. I know this is affecting you terribly.”
He hid in the corner of the room and sobbed. His whole world was ending. It collapsed right in front of him. Did he do that to taunt me? Does he know what he’s doing to me? Yeosang brought his knees closer to him and dug his nails into his legs. He didn't deserve this life. He doesn't. Obviously he’s not talented nor pretty enough for any of the fans to look his way. Not even Wooyoung would look at him anymore.
The door opens and slams shut again. Yeosang looks up expecting Mingi to have found the spare key to the dressing rooms. But it’s him. “What’s going on? I haven't seen you like this in the last 5 years I’ve known you. Not even when your parents begged you to come home from BigHit.” Wooyoung says calmly as he slowly walks to Yeosang’s side.
“Don’t. Do not get anywhere close to me.” Wooyoung’s eyes saddened and he walked back a bit. “Do you have any idea what you’ve been doing?” His eyebrows furrowed in anger. “After all those years of us together, you go and ditch me for someone you met on the first day you came to our company? Does what we have mean nothing to you?”
“What is this even about? I have no idea-” “Jung Wooyoung do not play stupid with me.” Yeosang’s sadness had turned into rage. “San?! Getting so close with San ever since you followed me here? To think there was even a chance you cared… just for a bit…” Wooyoung was silent. He knew he was getting closer to San, but he didn't know he’d been neglecting Yeosang.
“I didn’t-” “Shut up. You don't understand Wooyoung. Don’t even try to.” Wooyoung quickly shifts to Yeosang’s side. “Then help me understand it. How can I consider you my best friend when I don’t know what you're going through?” He takes Yeosang’s hand into his own hands.
“That’s the thing Wooyoung. You’re not my best friend. You’re more than that; you’re my favorite person. For years I’ve heavily relied on you emotionally, physically, in all and any ways you can think of. I’ve held you on a pedestal for years now because you mean so much to me. I couldn't stand the thought of telling you any of this because I was scared you’d judge me and leave me for good.” Wooyoung sat there, carefully taking in all of Yeosang's words. “Seeing you with San put me into an emotional wreck. You were replacing me with someone you had just met. It’s like we no longer exist and all that matters to you is San.”
“Sannie’s just a friend, Yeo. He’s a member in our group that I’m close with-” “Then what am I?” Yeosang cuts him off and desperately searches his eyes for an answer. Wooyoung pauses, taken aback by his sudden question. “Do you want me to be honest?” “Even if it kills me, Wooyoung.”
The male sighs. He lets go of Yeosang's hands and moves to sit in front of him. “I’ve had feelings for you since you left BigHit. The day you left was actually the day I realized this. I felt no point in working towards my debut anymore. Even practicing with Soobin and the others wasn't enjoyable. You weren't there. I tried to make it work, but in the end I couldn't, so I decided to follow you. I saw how hard you worked to get where you are and I didn't want to distract you from that with my stupid feelings. So I attached myself to Sannie, for the both of us.” Yeosang stared at him, almost in a daze.
“You’re not pranking me right?” Wooyoung lets out a small chuckle. “Yeosang, the staff just canceled a fansign because you ran out. Why would I prank you right now?” He nods softly, understanding his point. “I suppose. I just find it hard to even… to believe you. Why would you attach yourself to San and not just tell me you felt this way?” Wooyoung’s hands went to cup Yeosang’s face. He wiped away the warm tears that spilled from the corner of his eyes with his thumbs.
“Like I said, I didn't want to distract you from your hard work. Even then, I knew I wouldn't be able to keep myself away from you. I really do cherish you, Yeosang. You’re a treasure to me.” Yeosang gives him a sad yet soft smile as his hand grabs Wooyoung's wrist. “I’m sorry for not telling you. I was so afraid of rejection.” Yeosang apologizes through his soft sobs.
“It’s okay Yeo. Now, I know to never take my eyes off you. I don’t plan on it anyway.” Wooyoung gives Yeosang a quick kiss on the cheek and pulls him in for a hug. When they pull back, they rest their foreheads against each other.
“I love you a lot. I really hope you know that. Never forget it.” Wooyoung smiles. Yeosang exhales a dry laugh and smiles back. “I won’t, only if you remind me.” Wooyoung's smile turns into a sheepish grin and he closes the gap between their lips.