Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

“Welcome, one and all, to the annual Watcher Banquet! The auction will begin shortly, so please get some food, meet some friends, and hang on tight for a few more minutes!”

Tommy glanced around. He was so far out of his depth here. All around him movie stars and famous singers alike stood eating and drinking, talking to each other. 

He wasn’t like them. Not really. He was a rising name in Hollywood, which was impressive for someone of his age (he was only 16), but not at all impressive compared to the big names that surrounded him.

The Watchers were a huge name in Hollywood, a family completely made up of famous directors and movie stars. Even their youngest children (The twins, Grian and Pearl, 17 years old) were starring in movies and shows written just for them. 

Every year, the Watcher’s held a huge banquet, full of the biggest names at the time. It was invite only, and there were only about 100 people invited, not including their guests. All in all, It was a BIG DEAL.

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The day he had gotten the invitation had started normally. He had been at school for once, being able to finally take a break between his latest movie and the next one. He was at lunch eating with his friends, when the announcement came. 

“Thomas Simons please report to the front office. Again, Thomas Simons please report to the front office.”

One of his friends, Tubbo, turned towards him. “I thought you didn’t have anything today?” 

Tommy nodded. “I don’t.” 

His other friend, Ranboo, chimed in. “Maybe it’s your manager? If you got a big role he might’ve come in to tell you in person.”

Tommy shrugged. “Only one way to find out.”

He stood up, his friends quickly following, and went into the office. 

Inside the front office stood his principal, his manager and his parents, neither of which were unusual. Tommy began to think Ranboo must’ve been right. That is, until he caught sight of the third person in the room. 

Luxury “Lux” Watcher. One of the most famous movie stars in the 21st century. They had starred in countless productions, won dozens of awards, and had even become a prominent author, having published three books that immediately became top of the charts. Oh, and she was only 25 years old.

And she was here. At Tommy’s school. 

Ranboo and Tubbo were subtly not-staring at Lux, but Tommy was too shocked to be bothered with how it would look. He blinked at Lux for a moment before they noticed him and smiled ( SMILED. AT HIM.) and waved him inside the room. 

“Thomas, right? Hi, it’s so nice to meet you!”

It took all of Tommy’s willpower to not faint on the spot. (SHE KNEW HIS NAME). Instead he did the smart thing and smiled, taking their offered hand. 

“Nice to meet you too! Please, call me Tommy.”

Tommy noticed the glares that he got from his parents. He smirked internally. They always wanted him to use his full name, saying it sounded more “Professional”. He honestly didn’t care, though now he went by Tommy solely to piss them off. 

Lux simply smiled knowingly. “Ok, Tommy! I’m sorry for interrupting your class time, but I just needed to borrow you for a little bit.”

Tommy nodded slightly. “It’s alright, it’s my lunch right now, so I’m not missing much.”

Lux's smile grew. They turned towards the principal. “Could you please give us some privacy, please?”

The principal looked a bit out of his depth. “But…”

Lux’s smile grew sharp. Dangerous. “I wasn’t really asking.”

The principal gulped and nodded, all but running out of the room, closing the door behind him. 

Lux turned back to Tommy. “Well then, you’re probably wondering why I called you here!” 

Tommy nodded slowly, his mind running through all the reasons she could be here. He had tried out for a Watcher movie recently, but it wasn’t even the lead. It wouldn’t make sense for them to send LUX to tell him the news. 

Lux reached into her bag and pulled out four black and gold envelopes. She handed them to Tommy. His parents and manager gasped and Tommy had to again force himself to stay upright. 

Anyone who didn’t live under a rock could recognise those envelopes. They were official invitations to the Watcher family’s annual banquet. One of, if not the, biggest and most exclusive parties in modern day. Get into just one of the parties, and you would walk away with connections and media attention that had you set for life. One of these invites could make or break your career. 

And Tommy had FOUR. 

What the actual fuck.

Lux smiled at Tommy’s wide eyes and open month. “Tommy, I would like to be the first to congratulate you and officially invite you to the 63rd annual Watcher banquet. The celebration lasts for about 3 days, and it takes place in a few weeks. You will be provided with transportation, clothing, dining, and housing.”

Lux gestured to the tickets. “You have been given the opportunity to invite three guests to go along with you. For legal reasons, at least one of the guests must be your legal guardian. Other than that, it’s completely up to you.”

Tommy glanced around. His parents and manager were looking at him expectantly, and it was clear they wanted him to choose the three of them to go. Tommy, however, had other plans. 

“Does my guest have to be involved in the Hollywood scene?”

Lux grinned. He had clearly said something correctly. 

“Not at all. People bring all types of guests. Some musicians, some actors, some politicians or athletes. Other people bring friends or family. It’s not at all uncommon to find a big-name star with their childhood best friend that no one’s heard of before.”

She laughed a little. “Hell, my younger brother brought his boyfriend of two weeks a few years ago! The rest of the family hadn’t even met the guy yet!” 

They smiled, as if they were really just talking about a chaotic younger sibling and not Xelaqua “Grian” Watcher and Scar Times. 

Tommy nodded, looking at his parents and manager again. Their smiles had faded a little, replaced with a Look™ that just screamed “Don’t you dare.”

Tommy grinned. “Could you call Tubbo Underscore and Ranboo Beloved to the front office please?”

Lux nodded, leaning over to the intercom microphone. “Can I have Tubbo Underscore and Ranboo Beloved to the front office?” 

Straightening back up she turned towards Tommy and his parents. “All the details should be in the invites, and I’ll be back to pick you up on the given date. I can wait until you tell me who’s going to come, but I have to go relatively soon.” 

As if to punctuate the point, they glanced down at their watch. 

Suddenly, Tubbo and Ranboo burst into the Office. Their faces were flushed, and they had clearly run here. Tommy grinned at the sight of his best friends. He walked over to them and shoved an envelope in each of their faces. 

“We’re going to Hollywood, Bitches!” 

Tubbo and Ranboo stared down at the envelopes in their hands. Realization dawned in their eyes.

“Tommy, I– I can’t– I can’t accept this–” Ranboo stuttered. 

Tommy scoffed. “Well too bad, ‘cause I gave it to you.”

Ranboo looked mortified. Tubbo, on the other hand, looked ecstatic.

“What the fuck!? You got an invite?? That’s so cool!!”

Tommy laughed. “I know, Tubs. And now you have an invite too, Big Man!”

Tommy was starting to get really worried his friends would faint. He glanced back at his parents, who were glaring daggers at him. 

Lux smiled. “Okay, so Tubbo Underscore and Ranboo Beloved and coming, but you still need a parent to join.”

Tommy shrugged and threw the other invite in their general direction. His dad immediately caught it, holding it close to his chest. His mom started yelling at him, before remembering who was in front of her. 

She had the gall to look guilty. “Would it be possible if we could both at least come to the main event? I get so worried about Thomas when he’s alone.”

Lux sighed and reached into her bag again. Bringing out two other envelopes, these ones silver instead of gold. She snatched the one Tommy had given his dad back, replacing it with the new ones. 

“This means you’re a parent slash guardian of someone over 15. You’ll stay in separate lodging and won’t go to all the events, but you’ll be at the main ones, and your housing will be close to his. I really didn’t want to have to give out these invites, but if you’re going to whine about it, I can spare these two.”

His parents huffed, but nodded, false gratitude falling out of their mouths. Lux looked annoyed, but they turned back to Tommy and his friends and smiled. “I’ll see you in a few weeks then! Have fun, you three!”

And with that, they were gone, leaving the office out of the side door in the principal's office, probably so as to not draw attention to herself. 

Tommy was left wondering what the fuck just happened.

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“Hi, Mr. and Mrs. Craft. My name is Raynor Watcher, you can call me Ray. Thank you for coming on such short notice.”

“Of course, Ray. And please, call me Phil.”

“Thank you Phil. I would like to be the first to formally welcome you and your family to the annual Watcher Banquet.”

“Four invites, mate? Last year it was more.”

“Some of our recurring guests have received less invitations this year, due to the welcoming of a few rising stars.” 

“Does that mean you finally invited Tommy?”

“What? Wil, who’s Tommy?”

“That kid I told you about! You know, Thomas?”

“Oh… OH! He’s going to be there?”

“Yes, due to a special request, he and his chosen guests will be there.”

“But not his parents, right?”

“Wil…”

“Shut up Techno. Not his parents, right?”

“Due to legal requirements…”

“Ugh! No, that ruins everything!”

“Patience, Wil. We’ll get him. Thank you, Ray. We’ll see you in a few weeks.”

“Thank you, Mr. Craft. See you soon.”

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“Thomas, You’re friends are here! Are you all packed?”

Tommy rolled his eyes and zipped up his suitcase. “Yep! Coming!”

He raced down the stairs and over to where his parents were waiting with Tubbo and Ranboo. His manager was also there, most likely to give him a briefing about how to act during the events. 

“Thomas, we should talk about your– What are you wearing?”

Tommy looked down. He was in jeans and a tee-shirt, nothing unusual for him. 

“Uh… clothes?”

His manager looked like he was going to have a heart attack. “Thomas, Luxury will be here in ten minutes. You really want to be in casual clothes when they get here? You don’t want her to rethink this decision, do you?”

Tommy shrugged. “She saw me in this last time, I’m sure they won’t mind.”

His manager sputtered for a moment. Tommy turned towards his friends. 

“You guys excited?”

Tubbo stared at him like he asked if the world was flat. “ Fuck yeah! ”

Tommy grinned. “How about you, Ranboob?”

“Not my name.” Ranboo muttered. “But yeah! I’m excited!”

Tommy grinned. “That’s great, gentlemen.”

“Thomas.” Tommy glanced at his parents. They looked stressed, to say the least.

“Yeah?” 

“We won’t be with you the whole time, so make sure to make a good impression. Be on your best behavior.”

Tommy waved them off. “Yeah, yeah, I know.”

“Thomas–”

They were cut off by a car pulling into the driveway. Tommy grabbed his friends and walked out to meet Lux. 

“Hey, Tommy! …And Co.!”

“Hey Lux!” Tommy could feel his parents’ and manager’s glare with his back turned. Lux simply grinned. 

“Are you ready to get this party started or what?”

Tommy smiled. “I have never been more ready in my life, madame.”

Lux laughed. “Alright then, what are we waiting for? We’ve got a long way to go to Hollywood!”

She ushered Tommy and his friends into the limbo. When his parents tried to join, Luz simply walked them off to another car. “We’ve made special accommodations for you and your wife, Mr. Simons. I believe this will be more… comfortable for you two.”

Tommy’s father sighed, but plastered on a fake smile. “Of course, Miss. Watcher, Thank you so much.”

Lux grinned and nodded. They walked back to Tommy, Tubbo, and Ranboo, and got into their car. “Alright, gentlemen, let’s go! Our flight leaves at 3 and it’s a two hour drive.”

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The car ride was more or less uneventful. Lux and Tubbo hit it off immediately, having the same interests and opinions. (AKA, they were both chaotic little shits who wanted to see the world burn). 

Ranboo was nervous, but they were slowly opening up over the drive, letting the dark sense of humor he only really let his friends know about shine through. Lux laughed at his jokes, making sure he was comfortable. 

Tommy just sat there for the most part, occasionally partaking in the conversations. The reality of the situation was finally starting to set in for him. He had 3 weeks to prep beforehand, but none of it felt real until this moment. 

Holy Shit. He was actually going to a WATCHER BANQUET.  

This was probably the best day of his life. 

“Hello, earth to Tommy? Hellooo?”

Tommy tuned back into the conversation, seeing Lux look at him with an amused expression on their face. “Back with us, Tom?”

Tommy nodded, trying not to panic over the fact he was on nickname basis with Luxury Watcher. “Yeah, sorry. Just zoned out for a second.”

Lux nodded. “Well, we’re almost to the airport, so I was going to give y’all a quick rundown on how things are going to go.”

The boys nodded.

“Ok, so when we get there we’re going to need to go through security. Follow me and go into the line I go into. Give your bags to the people wearing purple suits.” (Purple was the official color of the Watchers. The exact shade was used almost primarily on the Watcher family and their products, helping them to be recognisable.) 

“We’ll have about an hour and a half before boarding, so we can head to the lounge and get some food. At 3, we’ll walk over to the FBO to board.”

“We’re flying private?” Tubbo looked ecstatic. Ranboo looked mortified at Tubbo’s outburst, but Lux just laughed. “First time? Yeah, we’ll be flying private for any and all travel this next week. Public planes are too much of a hassle.”

“Anyway, after we board it’ll be a pretty long flight… I want to say 11 hours? It would have been longer if we left from Brighton, but we’re leaving from Londen, so it should be a little shorter.” 

Tommy nodded. He was familiar with the horrible 17 hour flight from Brighton to Hollywood. As soon as he finished school, he was moving to the states. As much as it pained him to be an American, it was better than the awful travel time.

“We’ll arrive there at about 7pm, Pacific time. You’ll get to your houses at 7:30ish? The drivers will pick you up for the welcome banquet at 8:30, so make sure you’re ready by then. The welcome banquet will consist of dinner, drinks, and an auction, as well as some other festivities. It typically ends around… 12:30? 1? People leave as early as 11, and stay as late as 2, so it’s really up to you on when you want to leave.”

“Drivers will pick you up at 9:30 am tomorrow to take you to breakfast with me, where I’ll walk you through the rest of the week.”

Tommy was shocked. “Private breakfast with you?”

Lux nodded. “I’ve been personally assigned to your family this year. Every family gets one of our family members or staff to guide them through the week of festivities.”

Ranboo cut in. “Aren’t there like, 100 people invited?”

Lux laughed. “Well, yes, but some of them come from the same family. And most of the guests just get a member of the staff to help them. Only families deemed high priority get a member of the family.”

And if that didn’t make Tommy’s heart soar. He was High Priority.

Tubbo leaned over to Tommy, stage-whispering . “You’re special!”

Tommy scoffed and shoved Tubbo off. “Of course I am, prick! I’m the Biggest Man ever! Do you even know how many wives I have? Tons of wives, let me tell you.”

Ranboo rolled his eyes. “You’re something alright.”

“What– Hey!” 

Lux smiled at the shenanigans. She could see why they had been so insistent on inviting this kid. She’d have to find a way to… get rid of the parents, but that wasn’t too bad. The friends posed… a bit of a challenge, but they were sure they could get Tubbo and Ranboo to cooperate without too much trouble.

All that was left was to inform them the plan was on track.

---

“Uhg. How much longer is this flight going to be?”

“Wil…”

“Sorry, Mum.”

“It’s alright, sweetheart. I know you’re excited, but we have to be patient.”

“Yeah, Wil. It’s not like we’re going to be late. You’ll have plenty of time to take your hour-long shower when we get there.” 

“Shut up, Techno.”

“Stop antagonising him, mate.”

“Sorry, Dad.”

“Sorry, Phil.”

“Philza?”

“Yes, Ray?”

“There’s been a slight change of plans. You won’t be able to meet him until the banquet.”

“ What .”

“I deeply apologize for the inconvenience, but otherwise he won’t have enough time to get ready. We’ve made arrangements for Luxury to come meet with you instead.”

“Luxury is the one taking care of him?”

“Yes, Lux is taking care of him and his friends. His parents have been placed with a staff member and separated.”

“Friends?”

“Quiet, Wil.”

“No, I want to know about his friends.”

“He invited two of his friends with him. Lux said they won’t cause trouble. They only want to see Thomas happy.”

“See, Wil? Theseus will be fine.”

“I suppose.”

“Tell Lux we look forward to meeting with her.”

“Yes, Mrs. Craft.”

“Please, call me Kristan.”

“Yes, Kristan.”

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Tommy stared around at his room. He had expected a nice hotel or something, not an entire house . 

“Sorry it’s a little small, This is the closest option to the main house.”

‘Small’. Yeah, right. This house, no, mansion, was way bigger than Tommy’s house. His room alone was bigger than a typical apartment. And it was only for three people. His parents weren’t even staying here, rather in a luxury apartment nearby. There were some staff living here, but they were almost always out of sight. Not seen or heard. 

Tubbo and Ranboo were getting ready in their own rooms. They had all brought their own suits, but the closets were full of suits more expensive than Tommy’s mortgage, all in their sizes. 

Tommy adjusted his tie, staring at himself in the mirror. He hated formal wear, and would much rather go in his jeans and a tee-shirt. Still, he had some level of respect. His suit jacket, vest, and tie were a deep red, a white shirt dress shirt underneath. 

He glanced at the time. Shit, it was already 8:15. The drivers will be here soon. Tommy walked out of his room to meet his friends. Ranboo was dressed in a traditional black and white suit with a red tie, the only difference was a black glove on one hand and a white glove on the other, matching his hair. Tubbo was dressed in a black suit jacket and vest with a dark green shirt and tie.

“Hello, Gentlemen. Looking good, looking good.”

Tubbo laughed. “You too, Big man.”

Tommy grinned. “Ready to go, Tubs?”

Tubbo nodded. “How ‘bout you, Boo?”

Ranboo nodded, fiddling with his gloves nervously. “Are you ready, Tommy?”

Tommy smiled. “Born ready, Bitch boy.”

Ranboo scowled. “Hey!”

Tommy and Tubbo laughed. “Come on, Boo. The drivers will be here soon.”

Ranboo sighed, following behind his friends. They walked down the stairs and out into the driveway. There was already a limo waiting for them, a driver stepping out and opening the door for them. 

The three friends nodded their thanks, climbing into the backseat.

“We’ll be there in about ten minutes, Mr. Simons.”

“Thank you.”

They pulled up to the banquet, and Tommy noted the number of people there. There were only about 100 people… invited… but almost every single one of them got at least one guest, most of the time two or more. That made for at least 300 guests, most of whom were extremely famous or well known. Tommy had never felt more out of place. Still, he put on a guise of fake confidence. 

As Tommy and his friends walked in, they were instantly met with hundreds of voices talking. They walked past the press crowding the front gates, ignoring their questions. Tommy’s parents ran up to them as they entered, his dad placing a hand on Tommy’s shoulder. Just as they walked in, a voice came over the speaker. 

“Welcome, one and all, to the annual Watcher Banquet! The auction will begin shortly, so please get some food, meet some friends, and hang on tight for a few more minutes!”

Tommy smiled at his friends, and they turned to walk further into the banquet. He missed the way a certain family of four looked at him with possessive eyes, glaring at the hand on his shoulder.

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“I thought you said the parents weren’t a problem.”

“No, I said the friends wouldn’t be a problem. The parents aren’t going to let him go easily.”

“They care about him?”

“They care about his fame, his fortune, his reputation. I wouldn’t call that ‘caring about him’”

“But–”

“Look, just enjoy the festivities. Wait until after the auction. It’s been a couple years since a new face joined the banquet, he’s bound to be the center of attention for a while. It’ll be easier to talk to him after that dies down.”

“If you think–”

“ Wilbur ! You forget your place! No matter the amount of influence or money or fame your family has, I promise, mine has more. Just because Ray treated you with respect and attended to your every need does not mean I’m inclined to do the same. It is out of the generosity of my family’s heart that we promised you this child. We can take that back. Do Not Forget Your Place Again . ”

“...Yes, Luxury. Thank you.”

“Good. Now, Mr. Craft, as I was saying, I can get his parents distracted. Maybe his friends as well. You may talk to him then.”

“Thank you, Miss. Watcher.”

“My pleasure."

Chapter Text

“Mr. Simons?”

Tommy sighed and turned around. The past half hour had been full of meeting new people and answering questions. His parents had loved it, Tommy… not so much.

He was sick of being the center of attention just because he was new. He already felt out of place amongst the famous faces used to the glamour and show of the banquet. He had the most famous stars in history asking for his name, and yet he had never felt more out of place.

The only comfort he had was Tubbo and Ranboo standing by his side, keeping him grounded. They seemed out of place as well, though they were taking it in stride. Tubbo was talking to someone named Foolish in a gray and gold suit, while Ranboo spoke to an artist named… Eret?

His parents were a few feet away, speaking to a famous director named Etho Lab. They were talking his ear off while he smiled politely, no doubt sick of them.

“Mr. Simons?”

Oops. Tommy re-focused on the person in front of him. He wore a lime-green suit and a white mask that covered the bottom of his face. He had sandy blonde hair and green eyes, and his tie was covered with small smiley faces. He looked almost familiar, but then again, he was at a party with the biggest names this century. Everyone looked familiar. 

“Yes?”

The man grinned. “Hi, My name is Dream Taken. I run the acting firm WasTaken?”

Tommy nodded. That’s where he recognised the guy. He ran the 3rd biggest firm in the world, the first obviously being the watchers, and the second being run by a family called the Crafts. “Nice to meet you, Mr. Taken.”

Mr. Taken laughed. “Please, call me Dream. No need for such formalities when we’re both at a party such as this.”

Tommy smiled shyly. “Alright, Dream. Though to be honest, I’m not quite sure what I’m doing here.”

Mr. Taken Dream laughed again. “I’m not sure any of us do. The Watchers tend to do as they please, not as they should.”

Tommy… didn’t know what that meant. He decided the safest bet was to just smile and nod. 

Dream continued, “I’m glad I got a chance to talk to you, though. Everyone here wants to meet the new kid. It’s been a couple years since someone new was actually invited, rather than just tagging along with someone else. Usually you have to get a recommendation to even be considered for a direct invite.”

Tommy smiled. “Well, I guess I’m just special. I haven’t interacted with anyone here beyond what you’ve seen today.”

Dream tilted his head. “Perhaps. Maybe someone did recommend you.”

Tommy looked up at him, confused. “No one here knows me, you said so yourself.”

“And yet you received an invitation to the most exclusive banquet in acting history.”

Tommy shook his head. “I don’t know what you’re on about.”

Dream shrugged. “Anyway, Tommy, I was hoping to offer you a position at my firm. I’d become your manager, of course. You’d get much better parts then you’re getting now.”

Tommy was left speechless. A place at WasTaken Industries ? With Dream Taken as his personal manager? He would be set for life! He opened his mouth to respond when-

“Dream! Just the man we were looking for! My father wanted to talk business with you!”

Tommy glanced over that the person who interrupted. Or, rather, people .

Holy. Shit.

In front of him stood Grian and Pearl Watcher. The biggest stars under the age of 18, and the heirs to the Watcher legacy. 

(The only two heirs, after Lux had given up their spot. Grian and Pearl were the only two other children in the direct line of succession, not counting the many cousins and other relatives that would inherit if the twins gave up their spot.) 

Tommy kept all this in mind as he glanced at the twins. Grian was smiling at Dream, but it was strained. Pearl was looking at Tommy with an odd expression on her face.

Dream grimaced and turned around to face Grian.

“Mr. Watcher! It’s nice to see you again! I was just talking to Thomas here.”

Grian kept looking at Dream with that strained smile. “Alright. My father wanted to talk to you.”

Dream shook his head slightly. “I’ll be over in a minute. I need to finish my conversation with Mr. Simons first. It would be rude not to.”

The air around Grian felt dangerous. “It would be more rude to keep my father waiting, wouldn’t it? It would be such a shame if the news caught wind of what kind of contracts you force your clients into.”

Dream laughed nervously. “No need for threats, Mr. Watcher. I’ll be on my way now. It was nice to meet you, Mr. Simons.”

Tommy nodded, not even having time to say goodbye before Dream was practically running across the room.

…That was weird, wasn’t it?

“Sorry about that! I know Dream can be super annoying!”

Tommy turned his attention back to the two people in front of him. “Uhh… Yeah. Thanks.”

Grian smiled and nodded. “What did he want with you anyway?”

“He wanted to be my personal manager.”

Pearl and Grian exchanged a look. “...Oh. 

“Is something wrong?”

Pearl shook her head and smiled. “Dream is really well known for… exploiting? His workers. He signs them into these really complex contracts and then they get stuck in them.”

Tommy hadn’t heard that before. “Oh, ok? Well then I’m glad I didn’t sign with him.”

Grian nodded. “Yep! Hey, have I seen you somewhere before? You look really familiar.”

Tommy thought. He hadn’t ever met Grian personally before. Maybe… “I was on a few episodes of MCC? Maybe that’s it?”

MCC was one of the most popular series in the world, second only to the Life Series. Both were Watcher productions, and had won countless awards.

Grian grinned. “Yeah, that must be it! Nice to meet you again!”

Tommy nodded. “Likewise.” 

They began talking, Tommy casually bringing up his friends to the twins, who smiled and nodded along. Grian brightened when Tommy mentioned all the trouble Tubbo liked to get into. 

“Hey, Tom! Who are you talking to?”

Speak of the devil…

Tommy turned so that his friends could see Grian and Pearl. It was almost comical to watch as their eyes widened noticing the stars.

Grian smiled. “Hi! You must be Tommy’s friends?”

Ranboo was still shocked, but Tubbo snapped out of it pretty quickly. “Uh… yeah! I’m Tubbo and this is Ranboo!”

Grian grinned. “Tubbo, I may be mistaken, but I was told you liked to cause… Chaos?”

Tubbo stared at Grian. “Depends. What kind?”

Grian motioned Tubbo over, whispering in his ear. Tubbo’s eyes lit up and he nodded. The two of them ran off, cackling. 

Pearl looked after them worriedly. “Maybe we shouldn’t have let them meet.”

Ranboo laughed nervously. “Yeah… that’s not going to end well.”

Pearl laughed. The three of them chatted for a while before Tommy felt a hand on his shoulder. Looking up, he saw his parents. “Oh, hi Mom. Dad.”

“Hi, Thomas! We were just looking for you!” His parents weren’t even looking at him, rather at Pearl. “Miss. Watcher! So nice to meet you!”

Pearl nodded. Her friendly demeanor was gone, replaced by cold professionalism. “...likewise.”

Tommy’s parents became a bit more nervous. Ha. good, serves them right.

“Well, Miss. Watcher—”

“Pearl!”

Pearl turned her head to look at Grian and Tubbo, both of whom had wild grins on their faces. “What did you two do?”

Grian looked at her. “Nobody died.”

Ranboo stuttered. “What kind of answer is that?”

Tubbo looked over sheepishly. “Hopefully an accurate one.”

Tubbo and Grian burst out laughing, Pearl watching with a fond expression and Ranboo looking mortified. 

“Ah, Mr. Watcher! So nice to meet you as well!”

Grian pulled himself together and turned towards Tommy’s parents. “Mr. and Mrs. Simons, I presume?”

Tommy’s parents laughed. “Our reputation precedes us, it seems.”

Grian shrugged. “That, or your son. You have his eyes.”

Tommy’s dad’s laugh turned nervous. “I think you mean he has ours?”

Grian smiled. “No.”

They fell into an awkward silence. Eventually, Pearl cleared her throat. “Well, Mr. and Mrs. Simons, I’m sure our parents would love to meet the parents of a rising star! If you’ll follow me—”

She was interrupted by Grian and Tubbo whispering again, suddenly taking off into the crowd. She sighed. “I’ll take you to my parents, Simons. Ranboo, you’d better come with me to try and keep them out of trouble.”

Tommy looked over. “I’d offer to help, but I think I’d make it worse.”

Pearl laughed. “You would. We’ll be back soon. I trust you can keep yourself entertained?”

Tommy nodded. “‘Course I can!”

Pearl nodded. “See you later, Tommy!”

She, Ranboo, and Tommy’s parents walked off, Tommy’s parents talking excitedly to Pearl the whole way. 

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“Are you sure?”

“Yes, G. I’m sure.”

“But Luuuux”

“I know, G.”

“He’s so fuuuun.”

“I know, G.”

“C'mon it’ll be funny”

“We can’t keep him, G.”

“Why not?”

“Because, Pesky, the Craft’s already claimed him.”

“But he’d be so perfect with us!”

“G…”

“I know, I know. It’s just… Wil gets so possessive over things! What if he doesn’t let us hang out?”

“I’m sure he will.”

“...”

“Stop sulking, Xelqua. It’s a party! Where’d our little sister run off to?”

“I don’t know. Talking to Tommy last I checked.”

“Grian!”

“Tubbo!”

“Hey, Tubbo.”

“Oh, hey Lux! Grian, I got the stuff!”

“Already? I knew I liked you! Bye, Lux!”

“Bye, Grian. Don’t do anything I would do and definitely don’t do anything I wouldn’t!”

“No promises!”

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Tommy was finally starting to feel more confident. He was in the middle of a lovely conversation with a young couple. (Scott Smajor and Jimmy Listener-Solidarity. Scott was a famous musician and actor and Jimmy was an actor.) Any other time, he would be hardcore fangirling over the two stars. Today, though, they seemed almost ordinary amongst the other guests. 

“I’m excited to shoot the 3rd life movie next month, it was one of my favorite seasons.”

Jimmy nodded. “Yeah! We actually met on 3rd life, Tommy. We knew of each other before, but only as mutual friends. 3rd life is when he finally asked me out on a date.”

Tommy grinned. “That’s quite the story for the grandchildren, huh? ‘We met on a show about fighting to the death?’”

Scott and Jimmy laughed. “At least they’ll know we fought for each other to the end.”

“That’s true, Big man.”

“Scott! Tim!”

Tommy looked over to see a young man with blond hair being held back by a black bandana. 

“Hey, Martyn!”

“Gem and Lizzie just got here! Come over and say hi!”

Scott laughed. “On our way, Martyn!”

Jimmy turned back to Tommy apologetically. “Sorry, Tommy. We have to go bug our friends. We’ll talk to you after the auction?”

Tommy nodded. “Sure thing, big man. Don’t worry about it!”

Jimmy nodded and he and Scott walked off. 

Tommy sighed and waved down a server, who walked over with Coca-cola in a glass for him. 

“Thanks, big man.”

The server nodded and walked off. Tommy would never get used to having personal servers just walking around, attending to his every need without a word. 

“Hey! Thomas, right?”

Tommy turned around, smile already plastered on his face, ready to play nice with whatever star—

Holy shit.

HOLY SHIT

That was Wilbur Craft. Aka, the son of the 2nd most successful actor/director of all time. He was a legend among actors and musicians alike. He was 2nd only to the Watcher family, and even they respected him and his family as (almost) equals. 

So why was he talking to Tommy?

Sure, Tommy had spoken to tons of famous people throughout the night, including the Watchers, but they were the hosts! Of course they would make sure that the first new guest in 3 years was comfortable! Wil however… There was no reason he should be talking to Tommy.

It didn’t help Tommy’s shock that Wilbur was his number one idol and inspiration. His work in Casino Royale had helped push Tommy to start trying for bigger roles. 

Oh shit he was really fangirling, wasn’t he?

“Thomas?”

“Oh, right, sorry! Got lost in thought for a minute there! Please, just call me Tommy!”

Wilbur grinned. “Alright, Tommy! It’s nice to officially meet you. I’ve been trying to get a word in with you all evening, but it seems you’re a pretty popular guy!”

Wilbur laughed, and Tommy blushed a little. “Just ‘cause I’m new, I’m sure. Still, nice to meet you too, Mr. Craft.”

Wilbur scoffed. “No need for the formalities. If I get to call you Tommy, you can at least call me Wil.”

Holy Fuck. How was he on nickname status already?? He had spoken four words to the guy!

“Oh! Uh… Ok! …Wil.”

Wil grinned again. “That’s more like it! How are you enjoying the banquet so far?”

“Oh, you know. It’s… chaotic.”

“Yeah, I feel that. Probably worse with everyone trying to talk to you, huh? It should die down after the first few nights.”

“Hopefully. I haven’t even been here for two hours and I’m completely drained.”

“You still have the auction and dinner to get through!”

“Don’t remind me.”

Wil and Tommy fell into easy conversation. Tommy was amazed at how natural it felt to talk to Wil, even teasing him and bickering with him. Part of him was still amazed Wil was even talking to him. As they talked, Tommy became more and more comfortable with the star, oblivious to the possessive look in his eyes. 

“Attention, Ladies and Gentlemen! We’re beginning the auction in just a few minutes, so please make your way over to your seats! Each seat has a name on the back, so be sure to sit in the right one!”

Wil looked at Tommy sadly. “Guess that’s time then. I’ll talk to you at dinner, Ok?”

Tommy nodded. Holy shit, he wanted to talk to him again? “Yeah, big man. Of course!”

Tommy and Wil said their goodbyes, and Tommy made his way over to the auction.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“So there may or may not have been a… slight… change of plans.”

“Ray, we’ve had quite a few ‘changes of plans’. I’m getting kind of sick of them.”

“I understand, Mr. Craft, but this one is completely out of our control. Someone switched the seating chart.”

“What do you mean?”

“We had it set up so that Technoblade would be sitting on his left and you would be sitting behind him, but when we just checked the names, Dream is on his left and Eret is behind him. We managed to change Mrs. Craft’s seat, so now she is on his left instead of Dream, but that’s the best we could do.”

“Any idea who could’ve made the switch?”

“We suspect Dream… We know he was trying to sign Tommy on earlier. If not him, maybe a staff member who thought we should spread out your family more? Most likely not though, our staff is extremely well trained.”

“...Ray, I’ll be honest. I’m less than impressed with how you’ve been acting these last few days.”

“...Mr. Craft, it is not my job to impress you. It’s my job to escort you to the festivities and inform you of the plans. I certainly try my best to keep you happy, but at the end of the day, that’s not my priority.”

“What?”

“I may not be the most confident or outgoing person in my family, but I was still raised a Watcher. That means I have never sought validation from those below me. In my family's case, that’s… everyone. So no, Phil , I don’t care that you’re not impressed, or pleased. This is what happened, this is what we did, this is what you’re going to do. Any further questions that don’t involve insulting my hard work?”

“...No, Raynor. Thank you.”

“Of course, Mr. Craft. I apologize again for the inconvenience.” 

“...It’s alright.”

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Tommy had never gotten the appeal of auctions. They raised money for rich assholes who didn’t need anymore money. He never really wanted anything at an auction. He had no interest in most of the stuff at auctions. The stuffy art pieces and rare collectibles never piqued his interest. 

His parents, on the other hand…

“Four-Thousand!” 

“Four-thousand dollars, I have four-thousand dollars! Going once? Going twice? Sold to Mr. Simons!”

Tommy rolled his eyes. He had actually bothered to give his parents a limit this time. They had been annoyed, but well, it wasn’t really their decision. 

”Only Three hundred thousand? That will barely buy anything!”

Tommy honesty didn’t care that his parents weren't going to get whatever painting or sculpture they wanted. In his opinion, they already had far too much of the stuff. 

Tommy watched as a servant brought a young puppy out on stage. It looked like a golden retriever. 

“Selling a dog at an auction? Seems… inhumane.”

The woman next to Tommy laughed. “Anyone who buys a dog has to go through the adoption process, don’t worry. Pearl would burn this place to the ground if it was anything less than paradise for that dog.”

Tommy nodded. Pearl was well known for loving animals, especially dogs. She was confirmed to have four dogs already, two purebred and two from shelters, but rumor was that she had countless more. 

Tommy turned towards the woman next to him. It was Kristan Craft, because of fucking course it was . First the twins, then Wilbur, and now her? What was this, meet your idols day?

Tommy looked back towards the stage. “We’re starting the bidding at two hundred. Do I hear two hundred dollars?”

Almost immediately, people started putting their paddles up. “Three hundred!” “Four!” “Six!”

The commotion died down after a while, until it got to one person holding up their paddle. “Two thousand, nine hundred.”

 The auctioneer looked around. “I have Two thousand, nine hundred, going once?”

Without even realizing it, Tommy raised his paddle. “Three thousand.”

Everyone turned towards him. His parents were glaring over at him from their seats across the room. Kristan was smiling softly at him.

“Going once? Going twice? Sold! For three thousand dollars to Thomas Simons!”

The dog was led offstage, and Tommy turned back to Kristan. “I’ve always wanted a dog.”

She laughed. “That so?”

Tommy nodded. “My parents never let me get one. Now they have no choice.”

Kristen smiled. “That’s one way of doing it.”

Tommy glanced at her. “How would you have done it?”

Her smile turned dark, possessive, as she looked at him. “Gotten new parents.”

He laughed, trying to ignore the way she was looking at him, her eyes pure of possession and protectiveness. 

(He tried to ignore that part of him that wanted her to look at him like that)

Turning his attention back to the auction, he noticed a set of blueprints for some early version of the atom bomb. Not really something he felt should be given to the public, but hey, it wasn’t up to him. Most likely whoever bought them just wanted to brag about them or wall decoration.

“One thousand two hundred!”

Wait… He knew that voice.

“One thousand three hundred!”

Maybe he just imagined it…

“One thousand five hundred!”

Nope. His safety and everyone else’s was compromised. 

“Sold! For one thousand five hundred to Tubbo Underscore!”

“TUBBO!!!!”

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“I thought you were on the fence about this? What changed?”

“Phil, you don’t understand, he likes dogs .”

“Yeah, I know. Techno’s still pissed he bought the dog before he could.”

“Techno wanted the dog?”

“To give it to Tommy, yes. He’s annoyed that Tommy got it for himself before Techno could give it to him.”

“Sounds more like something Wil would do.”

“ Wil is busy trying to see if Tommy wants a beach house or snow resort.”

“For a family vacation?”

“No, to give him.”

“Ah.”

“How was sitting next to him?”

“Phil, I take back any and all hesitance I had towards this plan. I need him, Phil.” 

“You’ll get him, My love. As soon as we get an opportunity to, he’s ours.”

“I can’t wait that long!”

“Haha! I see where our children get their impatience from.”

“Oh quiet.”

“Haha. Yes ma’am.”

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The night was finally winding down. The auction was over, and people were either talking and eating or getting ready to leave. 

“Hey, Tommy!”

Tommy glanced over to see some familiar faces.

“Hey, Scott! Jimmy.”

“Hey Tom! We wanted to introduce you to some of our friends!”

Tommy nodded, putting on a smile. 

“This is Gem Tay, she’s awesome!” A girl in a purple dress with shocking red hair and green eyes. A… musician? Singer, probably.

“This is Mumbo Jumbo! He’s more of Grian’s friend, but he’ll hang out with us when he’s forced to.” A taller man with a black mustache. Tommy recognized him from Hermitcraft , an insanely popular series. He was also in several other Watcher productions. “It’s not only if I’m forced to!”

“Martyn Woods! He’s my cousin!” The same man who had pulled Jimmy and Scott away before. He was a well known Listener, though there was a lot of controversy on the fact he worked so closely with the Watchers. The two families were in a famous rivalry. 

“And these two love birds are Lizzie and Joel!” Lizzie and Joel Shadow-Beans. One of the most famous couples in Hollywood.

“Everyone, this is Tommy Simons!”

Tommy grinned and shook everyone’s hand. “Nice to meet you all!”

The group smiled, and they fell into easy conversation. Everything was peaceful until…

“MUMBO JUMBO!!!”

Grian crashed into Mumbo, Tubbo trailing a bit behind, laughing. Ranboo and Pearl were sprinting after them. It looked like a scene from a movie. 

Mumbo laughed. “Hey, pesky bird!”

Grian grinned. “Have you seen Scar anywhere? It’s past time I bugged him.”

Mumbo started to shake his head, but Jimmy jumped in. “I saw him talking to Niki and False I think?”

Tubbo brightened up. “Scar Times?”

Grian nodded. Tubbo grinned. “He’s like, my favorite actor! No offence to anyone here.”

Grian laughed. “None taken. I can introduce you two? If you want?”

Tubbo nodded excitedly. “Oh my fucking god that would be amazing.”

“Language”

“Mumbo, I respect you immensely, but right now I don’t care.”

Mumbo laughed. “Fair. It’s honestly just an automatic response.”

Grian turned back to Jimmy. “How about Taurtis? Have you seen him?”

Jimmy paused, looking nervous. “He was with Gladiator last I checked…”

Grian sighed. “Who brought his girlfriend, I assume?”

Jimmy nodded. 

“I’ll find him later then.”

Grian grabbed Tubbo by the arm and ran off, Ranboo rushing to catch up, yelling half-hearted protests. Pearl stayed by the group. 

“So, Tommy, how’s the first night been treating you?”

“Pretty good, kinda tired though.”

She laughed. “I get that. It’s a little after midnight, so no one would mind if you went home. A couple of people have already left, so you won’t be the first by a long shot.”

Tommy shrugged. “I’ll give Tubbo some time to meet his idols. After that, maybe I’ll head out.”

Pearl grinned. “In that case, let me introduce you to this family that’s been dying to meet you!”

Tommy followed her as she walked. “Who is it?”

“You know the Crafts, right?”

Tommy stared at her. “The Crafts want to meet me?”

She shrugged. “Apparently. Wil and Kristen thought you were interesting.”

She pulled him along as he tried to wrap his head around that thought. That the 2nd biggest family in the world thought he was… interesting?

Was that good or bad?

“Tommy!”

“Oh, hey Wil.”

Pearl turned to a man off to the side of where the Crafts were standing. He was in a deep purple suit and doing something on his phone. Was that… Raynor? Watcher? 

Pearl and Raynor started talking in hushed tones, before she grabbed his arm and started leading him away. “I’ll talk to you later Tommy, Ok? Probably tomorrow.” 

“Oh! Uh… yeah, bye!”

He turned back to the family in front of him. “...Hi.”

The blonde man (Phil Craft, his brian supplied) stepped forward. “Hi, Tommy! It’s so nice to meet you! Wil and my wife have been talking non-stop about you.”

The other man with pink hair (Techno Blade Craft) nodded. “It’s getting kind of annoying. But it is nice to meet you, Theseus.”

Tommy gasped. “You watched Tales From the Labyrinth? ” That had been his first big break, starring as Theseus in a small producer’s movie. It had been a hit, and finally landed him bigger roles. 

Techno nodded again. “Yeah, I love Greek Mythology.”

Wilbur groaned. “Don’t get him started, he’ll talk about it for hours.”

The rest of the family the Craft family and Tommy laughed. It was easy to fall into conversation from there. Tommy felt more comfortable with them than he had in a while. Even with his own family.

He ignored the looks that the family sent him, possessive and wanting. He ignored the oddity of Wil offering him a hug, despite numerous accounts stating he hated touching strangers. He ignored the way Phil placed a hand on his shoulder and called him son . 

He ignored how right it all felt. 

He just said goodbye, gathered Tubbo and Ranboo who had finally crashed from their adrenaline rush, and went home.

All in all, he would say it was a pretty successful banquet.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Grian”

“Yes, father?”

“How are the Crafts treating that boy?”

“Tommy? Fine, I suppose. Pearl knows more than I do.”

“Pearl?”

“Yeah, they're treating him well! Seem to really care about him, ya know? He seems happy too.”

“Good. Taurtis, what on your end?”

“Oh, I didn’t really see them interact. I was… busy most of the night.”

“With what?”

“...”

“Spit it out.”

“He was talking with Gladiator and his girlfriend again, father.”

“That white rabbit?”

“Yes, father.”

“And his girlfriend was…”

“Yuki. Yuki Yakuza.” 

“Right, the Mafia family. Rescind her invite. Rescind Sam’s too if he refuses. Taurtis, Pearl, Grian, I want your full attention on making sure the Crafts treat Tommy well. This is a… reward… for good behavior. I’d rather them not break their toys.”

“Yes, father.”

“Of course, father.”

“As you wish, uncle.”

Chapter Text

Tommy woke up to Tubbo practically breaking his door down.

“Tommy! Wake up!”

Tommy groaned and rolled over and grabbed his phone from his bedside table. Looking at the time, he saw it was only 6 am. “Tubbo, what the hell? It’s so early.”

Tubbo knocked again before just opening the door and walking in. “Tommy, the car will be here at 9:30! What are you doing in bed?”

Tommy threw a pillow at Tubbo’s head. “It’s 6, Tubs. We have plenty of time, and I’m going to sleep for another hour, please and thank you.”

Tubbo sighed dramatically and threw himself onto Tommy’s bed. “Fineee.”

Tommy thought about yelling at Tubbo, but it was too early to be annoyed. He turned away from Tubbo and went back to sleep.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The second time Tommy woke up, it was to his alarm. Glancing at his bed, he saw Tubbo with one of his arms off the bed and both of his legs over Tommy. The other arm was under Ranboo’s head, who had appeared sometime while the other two were sleeping. 

Tommy hit Tubbo’s legs with a pillow. “Get up. I can’t move.”

Tubbo woke up slowly, eventually moving his legs off of Tommy. Ranboo also woke up and got off of Tubbo’s arm.

Tommy stared at the two. “Why? You have your own beds.”

Tubbo rolled his eyes. “You weren’t getting up, so I stayed here to make sure you would.”

Tommy looked to Ranboo. He shrugged sheepishly. “I felt left out.”

Tommy groaned and got out of bed. “Whatever. It’s 7:30. We have like two hours until the car comes. Do whatever you want, just be ready by then.”

Tubbo and Ranboo both nodded, each getting up and going to their respective rooms. 

Tommy closed the door behind them, going to open his wardrobe and get dressed for the day. Looking through the clothes he packed, he didn’t see anything that he wanted to wear. Groaning, he walked over to the closet in his room. Opening it, he found it full of clothes, all in his size. After putting on a white shirt, jeans, a red sweatshirt, and some limited edition red converse, he walked out into the hallway. 

He found Tubbo wearing a green button up shirt and jeans knocking on Ranboo’s door. Seeing Tommy he grinned and walked over.

“Tommy, can you please convince Ranboo to come out of his room? He’s embarrassed about his outfit.”

Tommy sighed. “C’mon, Boob boy. We haven’t got all day. Come out or change.”

Ranboo slowly opened the door. He was wearing a white shirt with a purple, white, and pink jacket over it, black pants, and black combat boots. 

“Damn, Boo! You’re the most stylish out of all of us!”

Ranboo blushed. “Let’s just go.”

Tommy shrugged and glanced at his phone. “It’s almost 9, so we have some time. What do you want to do?”

“Explore?” They hadn’t seen much of the house yet, having only been there for a few hours before the banquet. 

They walked through the house, finding a game room, a movie theater, an arcade, two kitchens, three living rooms, and a library. And that was just on the first floor. 

As they walked back towards the front foyer, Tubbo spoke up. “This is a bit big for three people, isn’t it?”

Ranboo shrugged. “It’s probably so we could have people over.”

Tubbo stared at him. “We don’t know anyone.”

Ranboo just shrugged again. “What do you think, Tommy?”

Tommy rolled his eyes. “Who knows. Maybe it’s the only house they had left? Besides, this is small by Watcher standards.”

They made it to the front door, and walking out there was already a limbo waiting in the driveway. A driver got out and opened the door for the teens. “Hello, Mr. Simons, Mr. Beloved, and Mr. Underscore. Miss. Luxury was wondering if you would mind the young Mr. and Miss. Watcher joining us today?”

Tommy looked at his friends. “Grian and Pearl? I’m good with it if you are.”

Tubbo and Ranboo nodded. “Yeah! It’d be nice to see them!”

The driver nodded. “I’ll let Luxury know.”

“Thank you!”

The driver nodded again, and they all got into the car. 

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Tommy! Tubbo! Ranboo!”

“Grian! Pearl!”

The twins ran over to open the car door for the teens. Lux stood by the door to the cafe they had pulled up to. It looked like they were talking on the phone, but as Tommy and his friends walked over she put her phone down and smiled at them. “Hey y’all!”

“Hey Lux!” Tommy looked around at the cafe they were at. It didn’t seem that fancy, in fact it looked really small and casual. “Why this cafe?”

Lux grinned and opened the door to the cafe for the rest of the group. “A friend owns it. Tons of people who run in our circle come here. The media doesn’t know about it, so it’s a nice place to go without getting recognized by paparazzi.”

Tommy nodded. “Makes sense.” Turning back to his friends, he caught the tail end of Grian and Tubbo’s conversation. 

“I’m telling you, a few propaganda posters, protests, and some military-grade weapons and we could take over at least the state of California.”

Tommy stared at Grian. “I’m sorry, what?”

Grian waved him off. “Don’t worry about it.”

Pearl rolled her eyes. “He’s been talking about taking over the state since the banquet. I blame you, Tommy.”

Tommy sputtered. “Me? What about the person who bought fucking atom bomb blueprints?”

Pearl shrugged. “Who gave him the money for that?”

Tommy stuttered a bit before sighing and turning away. Behind him, Tubbo high-fived Pearl.

Lux rolled their eyes at the whole exchange. “Are you two done? We’re almost ready to order.”

“Sorry Lux.”

Tommy turned towards the menu on the wall. “I’ll take a… I don’t know, just a latte and a chocolate chip muffin a guess.”

Tubbo rolled his eyes. “Fucking basic. I’ll take four espresso shots.”

Lux stared at Tubbo. “...You know what? Sure.” 

Ranboo shook his head wildly at her. “No Lux! You’ve doomed us all!”

Lux laughed. “I know. I’m excited to see what kind of chaos he causes on caffeine.”

Ranboo groaned. “I’m not taking responsibility for whatever government he collapses. I’ll take a mocha and a croissant.”

Lux nodded before turning towards the twins. “And for you?”

Pearl shrugged. “My usual, please.”

Grian nodded. “Same.”

Lux nodded. “You can all sit down, I’ll bring your orders over to you.”

Grian nodded and grabbed Tubbo, dragging him off to a table that had some other people already there. “You’re in our spot.”

A blonde kid in a purple sweatshirt looked up. “Find somewhere else then.”

Pearl rolled her eyes. “Grian.”

Grian ignored her. “Or you could move.”

The boy rolled his eyes. “Why? We were here first.”

The other people looked tired of the whole exchange. 

“Grian…” Pearl tried again, but was still ignored. 

Grian and the other boy continued to bicker, until one of the other people at the table spoke up. He had black hair under a blue beanie. “For fucks sake, Grian, just sit down.”

Grian groaned. “Fine, Quackity.”

Grian and Pearl sat down, motioning for Tommy and his friends to do the same. “Everyone, this is Tommy, Tubbo and Ranboo. Boys, these are some of our friends.”

A girl with pink hair elbowed Grian. “Their ‘back-up friends’.”

Grian rolled his eyes. “Yeah, yeah Niki.”

Pearl laughed and turned to the table. “Can everyone introduce themselves?”

The boy in the purple sweatshirt nodded. “I’m Purpled.”

Tommy laughed. “Bit ironic, innit?”

Purpled shrugged. The rest of the people went around saying their names.

“I’m Niki!” That was the girl with pink hair.

“Quackity.” The man in the beanie.

“I’m Sapnap, and this is Karl.” A man in a white bandana and a man with brown hair and a multicolored sweatshirt.

“Puffy!” A girl with split dyed hair, half brown and half white.

“Punz. I’m Purpled’s brother.” 

“...Drista.” A girl in a green hoodie.

“Ayup. I’m Jack.” A man with a shaved head and blue and red glasses.

Tommy nodded in greeting. “Hey.”

Tubbo grinned at the group. Ranboo smiled softly.

“Alright I’ve got y’all’s orders.” Lux walked over with her hands full of drinks and pastries. They handed the orders out to each respective person before sitting down next to Tommy and Tubbo.

“Alright, so let’s go over the plan for the next week.”

Tommy looked over at her. “Isn’t the whole event two weeks?”

Lux nodded. “Yeah, but I don’t want to overwhelm you with information.”

Tommy nodded. “Alright.”

“Ok, so even though we’re here for a while, we don’t actually have that many super formal events. There’s some dinners and events, but most of it is casual or free time.”

“Today is completely free, people usually use it as a time to catch up with friends or meet new people. There’s probably a couple of events you’ll be invited to, just do whatever you want.”

“Tomorrow is the Dodgers game, so that will be required attendance. We’ll be in the owner’s box.”

The Watcher’s owned the L.A. Dodgers baseball team, and attending a game was one of the main events in the Watcher Banquet.

“Tuesday is the press day, so we’ll be doing interviews, pictures, and overall just letting the world know you’re here. Wednesday there's brunch, but the rest of the day is free.”

Tommy nodded. He had expected more events, but he knew that the week wouldn’t be as busy as the weekend.

“Thursday and Friday are ski days. We’re going to Deer Valley this year. Fly out Wednesday night, ski Thursday and Friday, fly back late Friday night. We’ll have dinners while we’re on that trip.”

“Saturday is the most important day. Huge dinner in the evening, everyone who wasn’t important enough to be officially invited will be there. Press will be there, it’s super important for publicity.”

“Sunday you can just chill. We’ll talk about the next week on Sunday morning. That’s it for this week! I’ll let you know if any other events come up!”

Tommy nodded, while Tubbo and Ranboo just stared at Lux.

“That… was a lot.”

Lux laughed. “Yeah, sorry. I’ll give y’all a physical schedule too.”

Ranboo nodded gratefully. “Thanks, Lux.”

Pearl looked over. “Hey, can I have your numbers? I’ll send you the calendar.”

The three boys nodded and gave Pearl their numbers. Each of their phones soon buzzed. 

To Raccooninnit , Ranbob , Nuclear Bee Boy , and Pearlescentmoon

                    Pearlescentmoon : Hey! It’s Pearl!

                    Pearlescentmoon : “Pearlescentmoon” sent you a calendar invite

Tommy grinned at Pearl. “Thanks!”

She nodded. “No problem.”

“Hey, Tommy?”

Tommy looked over at Lux. “Yeah?”

“Your dog is getting dropped off at your house today. You’ll have to sign the papers and go through the screening, plus another screening once you get back home, but other than that he’s all yours.”

“Oh, thanks!”

Pearl fixed Tommy with a glare. “You better treat that dog right.”

Tommy laughed nervously. “Don’t worry, he’ll live a life fit for a king.”

Pearl’s glare disappeared, replaced by a smile. “Good! I trust you Tommy!”

Tommy let out a sigh of relief and turned back to the conversation the rest of the table was having. It seemed to be something about… casinos?

“No, Quackity, you can’t open an illegal gambling ring.”

“But think about it! I could name it Las Nevadas, same as the movie! That way, everyone would just think it was some clever advertisement for the movie! No one would suspect anything!”

“Q, if you did that, both Karl and I would break up with you.”

“Don’t drag me into this!”

“Personally, I think it’s a great idea.”

“ Thank you , Purpled.”

“I’m good with anything as long as I get paid.”

“We know, Punz.”

“What is Quackity on about now?”

Tommy turned to see Wilbur and Technoblade walk over to the table. Lux grinned and rolled their eyes. “Who invited these idiots?”

Wil laughed and playfully smacked the back of their head. “Shut it. It’s about time we had a P.C. reunion.”

“Plus Theseus and his friends,” Techno added. 

Wil nodded. “And we’re delighted to have them.”

Wil shoved Lux over and sat between her and Tommy. Techno sat in the empty chair between Ranboo and Tommy. Wil looked over at Tommy and grinned. 

“Hey, gremlin child.”

Tommy stared at him, offended. “I’m not a child, bitch!”

….He had just called one of the most famous actors ever a bitch….

Wil just laughed. “I see you didn’t deny the gremlin part?”

Tommy just rolled his eyes, quietly sighing in relief. It was good to know that Wilbur felt comfortable enough with him for them to insult each other. 

The group fell into easy conversation, talking long after all the food had been eaten. Eventually, Grian looked at the time and frowned. 

“Is it 11 already? I have a meeting at 12, I should get going.”

Lux nodded. “Me too. Wil and Techno should go too so that they can start setting up for tonight.”

Tommy glanced at her. “You said there wasn’t anything tonight?”

Wil grinned at him. “She didn’t tell you? It’s game night tonight! Every Sunday during the Banquet all of us get together to eat and play games. Most people spend the night. This year is mine and Techno’s turn to host.”

Tommy shrugged. “She didn’t tell us. It’s ok though, we don’t have to–”

Wil glared at Lux. “Why didn’t you tell him? Did you not want him to come?”

Lux shrugged. “I thought you wanted to tell him.”

Wil turned back to Tommy. “Well you just have to come. It’s super fun and I wouldn’t want you to miss it! It’s pretty small, just the people at this table and Mumbo and all them.”

Tommy thought for a moment. He had made plans to meet with his parents tonight, mostly to debrief with them and his manager, but they could wait, couldn’t they? Plus, if he told them he turned down an invitation from Wilbur Craft himself they would be more mad then if he missed the meeting. 

So… “Sure! Sounds fun!”

Wilbur grinned. “Great! My house at 6. I’ll send you the address!”

And with that Lux unceremoniously dragged Wil and Techno out the door, shouting goodbye over their shoulder. 

Tubbo glanced at Tommy. “We should probably head back to the house.”

Tommy was still reveling in the fact Wil wanted to see him again. “Yeah…”

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Hey, Taurtis!”

“Oh… hey Sam. Have you seen Yuki around?”

“No. Why?”

“I just… needed to talk to her. When’s the last time you saw her?”

“Uhhh… after the banquet?”

“I thought you had breakfast planned for today?”

“Ok so… funny story… We broke up.”

“What? Why?” 

“I don’t know, she was just getting really annoying.”

“Sam…”

“I know, I know. Whatever. Why did you need her anyway?”

“...We’re taking back her invite.”

“Oh that’s hilarious. Can I be there when you do?”

“I guess… we have to find her first though.”

“I can help!”

“Thanks, Sam.”

“No problem, Jer— Taurtis. I said Taurtis.”

“...This isn’t high school anymore, Sam.”

“I know, Taurtis. I was just goofing and gaffing. Anyway, have you seen Gri-an around? I wanted to talk to him.”

“Grian? No, not since last night. He’ll be at game night tonight though, if you’re going?”

“I’ve got something tonight. I’ll just text him.”

“Alright. Let’s go find a pink psychopath.”

“Lead the way, Taurtis.”

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The next bit of this fic is complete crack I have labeled as “Group Chat Shenanigans.” You’ve been warned.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Problem Children

Luxury Brands , Pesky Bird , Blood God, and 19 others

3:20 pm

                    Luxury Brands: Hey Y’all

                    Luxury Brands: I’m gonna pick some stuff up for Tonight

                    Luxury Brands: Let me know what you want

3:32 pm

                    Will-I-Am: What kind of stuff?

                    Luxury Brands: Like

                    Luxury Brands: Idk

                    Luxury Brands: Stuff

                    Will-I-Am: Helpful

                    Luxury Brands: Snacks and shit

                    Luxury Brands: or like games

                    Blood God: Bruh

                    Blood God: Get Snickers

                    Cheese And Quackers: Vodka

                    Luxury Brands: I’ll bring one of those things =D

                    Cheese And Quackers: Yes

                    Time boy: Quackity

                    Time boy: No

                    Cheese And Quackers: Karl 

                    Cheese And Quackers: yes

                    Pandas: No

                    Cheese And Quackers: Shut up Sapnap no one asked you

                    Pandas: I want a divorce

                    Cheese And Quackers: too bad

                    Luxury Brands: …

                    Luxury Brands: Are you three done?

                    Cheese And Quackers: yeah

                    Time boy: sorry

                    Luxury Brands: ok great

                    Luxury Brands: what else?

                    Will-I-Am: Can you bring the chips you had last time

                    Will-I-Am: they were really good and I can’t find them anywhere

                    Luxury Brands: ofc

                    Chaos Goddess: Get stuff for milkshakes and sundaes

                    Chaos Goddess: Wil has a milkshake machine but we never get stuff for it

                    Luxury Brands: 👍

                    Luxury Brands: Good idea

                    Baby Mercenary: Bring monopoly

                    Baby Mercenary: for some reason Wil and Tech don’t have it

                    Will-I-Am: No i always lose

                    Blood God: L

                    Luxury Brands: Regular monopoly or P.C. Monopoly

                    Mercenary: P.C. I don’t think we can all fit around regular

                    Luxury Brands: ok just wanted to make sure.

                    Luxury Brands: anything else

                    Will-I-Am: no i think we’re good

                    Will-I-Am: we have a lot of things

                    Pesky Bird: Lux wtf I’m about to go into a meeting

                    Pesky Bird: Why are you texting so much?

                    Luxury Brands: Just turn off notifications

                    Pearlescentmoon: Turn off notifications idiot

                    Pesky Bird: honeslty i hate both of you

                    Luxury Brands: Nah you love us

                    Pesky Bird: Goodbte

3:37 pm

“Pesky Bird” has notifications silenced

                    Pearlescentmoon: so anyway

                    Pearlescentmoon: Lux

3:39 pm

                    Pearlescentmoon: Lux

3:41 pm

                    Pearlescentmoon: Luxury

                    Luxury Brands: what

                    Pearlescentmoon: can we get starbucks

                    Luxury Brands: wtf

                    Luxury Brands: how would I get everyone starbucks

                    Pearlescentmoon: just deliver it

                    Pearlescentmoon: you have nothing better to do

                    Luxury Brands: …

                    Luxury Brands: fine

                    Luxury Brands: anyone who wants starbucks tell me now

                    Pearlescentmoon: Just my usual!👍

                    Jellie Cats: Iced latte for G and iced matcha for me

                    Luxury Brands: K anyone else

                    Ray Of Sunshine: I’m ok

                    Ray Of Sunshine: wait mumbo wants iced chai latte

                    Will-I-Am: I want 

                    Luxury Brands: I’m nor getting you coffee

                    Will-I-Am: a iced caramel macchiato

                    Will-I-Am: rude

                    Blood God: My usual

                    Blood God: actually iced

                    Luxury Brands: ok 

                    Chaos Goddess: Strawberry açaí

                    Baby Mercenary: Black coffee and cookie

                    Pearlescentmoon: Weirdo

                    Baby Mercenary: Fuck you

                    Cheese And Quackers: I want an iced latte

                    Cheese And Quackers: Sap wants a mocha

                    Cheese And Quackers: and karl wants a fucking cake pop

                    Luxury Brands: ok

                    Luxury Brands: anyone else

                    Scottish Unicorn: No for me or Jimmy

                    ZombieCleo: nope

                    Geminislay: Iced green tea lemonade!

                    Corrupt Listener: Nope

                    Luxury Brands: Ok I’m gonna order

                    Will-I-Am: wait

                    Will-I-Am: you didn’t ask Tommy

                    Luxury Brands: ?

                    Luxury Brands: Their not on this chat?

                    Blood God: *they’re

                    Luxury Brands: stfu Techno

                    Pearlescentmoon: Oh I have their numbers

                    Pearlescentmoon: I’ll add them

4:01 pm

“Pearlescentmoon” added “Raccooninnit” 

“Pearlescentmoon” added “Nuclear Bee Boy” 

“Pearlescentmoon” added “Ranbob”

                    Pearlescentmoon: Ok done

                    Raccooninnit: hello?

                    Luxury Brands: Hey Tommy

                    Luxury Brands: do you want anything from starbucks

                    Luxury Brands: speak now or get nothing

                    Luxury Brands: it’s lux btw

                    Raccooninnit: Lux?

                    Raccooninnit: what chat is this

                    Pearlescentmoon: It’s all our friends

                    Nuclear Bee Boy: ur geting starbucks?

                    Nuclear Bee Boy: cna I have dive exlressp sbks?

                    Nuclear Bee Boy: *sorts

                    Nuclear Bee Boy: *shots

                    Luxury Brands: Tubbo you had four this morning

                    Luxury Brands: anymore will kill you

                    Nuclear Bee Boy: dying is for thw week

                    Ranbob: No tubbo. Just, no.

                    Ranbob: But I’ll take a chai latte if you’re offering

                    Luxury Brands: sure thing

                    Raccooninnit: Uhh… just an iced latte?

                    Luxury Brands: ofc king

                    Nuclear Bee Boy: cold brew with blidne epresso

                    Luxury Brands: That sounds like it would kill you

                    Nuclear Bee Boy: no

                    Luxury Brands: ...You know wnat? Sure.

                    Luxury Brands: ok I’ll text you when I have the drinks

                    Ranbob: Hey quick question

                    Ranbob: why is the chat called “Problem Children” when most of you are adults?

                    Cheese And Quackers: don’t worry about it

                    Blood God: most of the adults here still act like children

                    Will-I-Am: we made it when we were kids

                    Will-I-Am: stfu techno

                    Blood God: bruh

                    Blood God: what is this

                    Will-I-Am: no one likes you Techno

                    Cheese And Quackers: yeah Techno no one likes you

                    Blood God: oh really, Quackity? 

                    Geminislay: Fight Fight Fight

                    Pearlescentmoon: Fight Fight Fight

                    Canary: What did I just interrupt?

                    Scottish Unicorn: Just leave it Jimmy

                    Scottish Unicorn: They’re beyond help

                    Will-I-Am: that’s so rude

                    Raccooninnit: it’s true though

                    Will-I-Am: Tommy!

                    Will-I-Am: Betrayal!

                    Raccooninnit: deal with it

                    Will-I-Am: I don’t insult you

                    Raccooninnit: you could try

                    Raccooninnit: there’s nothing to insult

                    Raccooninnit: I’m the biggest man ever

                    Raccooninnit: and amazing

                    Raccooninnit: with many, many wives

                    Ranbob: and so humble too

                    Raccooninnit: thank you ranboob

                    Raccooninnit: I agree

                    Ranbob: not my name but ok

                    Nuclear Bee Boy: don’t worey wulbur

                    Nuclear Bee Boy: i have nucilar bkueprints

                    Nuclear Bee Boy: *nuclir

                    Nuclear Bee Boy: *nucler

                    Ranbob: *nuclear

                    Nuclear Bee Boy: thank u ranboo

                    Nuclear Bee Boy: what he saud 

                    Will-I-Am: …I’m scared of you, Tubbo.

                    Nuclear Bee Boy: youn should be

                    Nuclear Bee Boy: fear mt wratg

                    Ranbob: Tubbo, for the last time, we are not blowing up a country. 

                    Nuclear Bee Boy: ok, yest

                    Nuclear Bee Boy: but

                    Nuclear Bee Boy: habe you considered

                    Nuclear Bee Boy: it woukd be funne

                    Chaos Goddess: I like you Tubbo.

                    Chaos Goddess: I think we’ll be good friends.

                    Cheese And Quackers: oh shit

                    Cheese And Quackers: that’s even worse than tubbo and Grian meeting

                    Jellie Cats: how bad could it be?

                    Pandas: you don’t understand

                    Pandas: last time Drista was alone with Grian they hacked into the New York Times

                    Pandas: and changed all the article titles to read “Drista rules”

                    Jellie Cats: wait what

                    Jellie Cats: why wasn’t i invited?

4:21

                    Luxury Brands: Ok I’m back!

                    Luxury Brands: …what the fuck I was gone for 20 minutes

                    Luxury Brands: whatever

                    Luxury Brands: I’m feeling lazy so come get your drinks

                    Luxury Brands: I’m at my office

                    Luxury Brands: Address is █ ████ ██ ███████

                    Jellie Cats: omw

                    Nuclear Bee Boy: ok on my way pcung uo dir ranbii abd rinnt as wekk.

                    Luxury Brands: I’m… not even going to try and decipher that.

                    Nuclear Bee Boy: i’kk have you jbiw that my soekubgf us unoecibke.

                    Luxury Brands: …

                    Luxury Brands: ok great. 

                    Luxury Brands: btw Tubbo I got you decaf

                    Luxury Brands: just to be safe

                    Nuclear Bee Boy: fuk you

                    Will-I-Am: Lux

                    Will-I-Am: Lux

                    Will-I-Am: did you

                    Luxury Brands: yeah I got your drink wil

                    Will-I-Am: get my drink

                    Will-I-Am: oh fuck yeah

                    Will-I-Am: omw

                    Blood God: Wil pick up mine too

                    Will-I-Am: no

                    Will-I-Am: get your own

                    Blood God: Fuck you

                    Raccooninnit: I can ask tubbo to get yours for you Techno

                    Blood God: amazing

                    Blood God: Tommy is my new favorite brother

                    Will-I-Am: Techno how could you say that

                    Will-I-Am: I’m so hurt

                    Blood God: L

                    Blood God: should’ve picked up my drink

                    Raccooninnit: we’re not related?

                    Blood God: Too bad. 

                    Blood God: I’m adopting you.

                    Raccooninnit: wow

                    Raccooninnit: are we like brothers?

                    Will-I-Am: Tommy if you say that I will cry

                    Raccooninnit: I just did

                    Raccooninnit: suffer.

                    Will-I-Am: fuck you gremlin

                    Luxury Brands: as fun as this is

                    Luxury Brands: does everyone have their drinks

                    Raccooninnit: yeah ty Lux

                    Luxury Brands: ofc King

                    Luxury Brands: Everyone else?

                    Geminislay: yea

                    Pearlescentmoon: yes thanks

                    Baby Mercenary: yep

                    Cheese And Quackers: all good here.

                    Chaos Goddess: ye

                    Luxury Brands: ok

                    Luxury Brands: I don’t have anyone elses drink so if you didn’t get it

                    Luxury Brands: sucks to suck I guess.

                    Will-I-Am: Alright Techno and I actually have to set up

                    Luxury Brands: I’ll be over in a bit to help

                    Will-I-Am: 👍

                    Luxury Brands: ok bye everyone!

                    Raccooninnit: Bye!

                    Mustache Man: bye lux! Thank you!

                    Ranbob: Bye!

                    Jellie Cats: goodbye!

                    Nuclear Bee Boy: bye

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I don’t know what that was. I spent like 3 hours writing that. And it doesn’t move the plot forward at all. Whatever.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Tommy put his phone down and sipped his drink. The last few hours had been… eventful to say the least. 

He had been looking forward to a relaxing few hours at home before going over to Wilbur’s house, but instead he had been rushed over to his parent’s apartment to discuss the idea of going over tonight.

They were excited when he had mentioned that he had been invited to the Craft’s house, but had made him promise not to spend the night.

(“If you spend the night, he’ll see you at your most unprofessional, Thomas! What if you do something embarrassing or offending during the night?”)

Tommy was pretty sure that Wil wouldn’t mind, he already felt like they were close friends. Him spending the night probably wouldn’t change that. 

Still, his parents had been insistent. 

After he had gotten back from his parent’s apartment, ready to relax and watch TV, finally settle down and pet his dog (His name was Henry, and he was perfect), he had almost instantly gotten a call from his manager, who then spent the next hour briefing Tommy on how to act around the Crafts, what to say, what to do, what to wear and even what to eat and what games to play. 

After his manager finally let him hang up, he collapsed on the couch next to his friends and Henry, only to get a text from Pearl of all people. Turns out, he and his friends had been added to a group chat with all the most famous stars under the age of 25 (aka: Pearl’s friends) and they were asking him… what he wanted from Starbucks?

Forty minutes and one car ride later, he was back on his couch drinking his latte, trying not to freak out over the fact that Techno had called them “brothers.”

He had only known the dude for about a day and a half, and now he considered them brothers? This was probably the best day of Tommy’s life. 

And it was only the second day of the trip. 

Glancing at the time, he realized it was already almost 5:20.

Fuck, when did it get so late? He was supposed to be at Wil’s house at 6, and he wasn’t even dressed. 

Tommy turned off the TV and walked up the stairs back into his room. Through the door into Tubbo’s room, he could hear the tell-tale signs of Tubbo beating Ranboo at Mario Kart. Tommy smiled to himself and walked into his own room.

Looking around the closet, he grabbed a red shirt and a white hoodie, opposite of what he’d been wearing that morning. He pulled on some black jeans and his red converse as well before grabbing a brush to try and deal with his tangled mess of hair. 

20 minutes and a lot of pain later, he was ready. Walking out into the hallway, he saw his friends already waiting for him, bickering with each other.

“Tubbo, we are not taking over the state of California!”

“But whyyy?”

“Because it’s a dumb idea?”

“I’m gonna do it.”

“Tubbo.”

“You can’t stop me.”

“I want a divorce.”

“Well then I’m taking the house!”

“Well I’m taking the kids!”

*Gasp* “You wouldn’t dare!”

“Try me.”

Deciding that was enough of… whatever that was, Tommy stepped in.

“Hello!”

His friends looked over. “Oh, hey Tom! You ready to go?”

Tommy nodded and glanced down at his phone. Wilbur had texted him the address a while ago, but he was pretty sure the drivers already knew where they were going. 

He took a minute to think everything over. He would be at Wil’s house until around 11:45, then he would go to his parents apartment to debrief, then he would come home. He’d get dinner at Wil’s, the staff would take care of Henry… Everything was ready. All that was left was for them to actually walk out the door. 

“Alright, Let’s go!”

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Yuki, what’s wrong, sweetheart?”

“Sam broke up with me!”

“Oh I’m so sorry my dearest. Should I take care of him for you?”

“No! He loves me! I know he does!”

“Then what can I do, darling?”

“It’s all Grian’s fault! He hated me in highschool and he hates me now! He probably convinced, or actually, forced Sam to break up with me!”

“Grian… Grian… your old classmate? How did he force Gladiator to do anything?”

“He probably used his family name. Ugh! He thinks just because he’s a Watcher he can do anything!”

“A Watcher? Grian Watcher… you mean Xelqua?

“Yes! Him! I want you to “take care of” him!”

“Sweetheart, you know as well as I do that the Watchers are untouchable. I’d do anything for you, but this would put you in more danger.”

“Then– just– do something! Take something of his! Force him to let me and Sam get back together!”

“Hm… he did seem to have an interest in that new boy… Simons? Maybe we could use him as leverage…”

“Yes! Hold him hostage or something! Just do something!”

“Alright, why don’t you lure him away during the game?”

“...About that… Sam told me that Grian had revoked my invite now that we weren’t together anymore…”

“My poor baby. I’ll figure something out. Don’t worry about anything, you’ll get your Rabbit back.”

“Yay! Thank you Dad!”

“Anything for you, my princess.”

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Tommy! So glad you could make it!”

Tommy looked around at the house around him. It was… much more laid back then he’d expected. A few people were laid on the couch, watching a movie and eating chips. There was loud shouting coming from the basement, seeming to be a video game tournament. The kitchen had some people talking and eating snacks while others put pizza in the oven. All in all, the whole scene was extremely domestic. 

Tubbo immediately spotted Grian, who waved him over. Grian whispered something in Tubbo’s ear and Tubbo grinned. In an instant, Grian and Tubbo were gone, off to cause whatever trouble they caused when they were alone together. 

Ranboo and Tommy watched as they ran off. “Should we be… worried about them?”

Tommy waved him off. “Nah, it’s fine.”

Ranboo looked unconvinced, but he nodded. Looking around, he started walking towards the living room. Before he could get there, Niki came over in a panic. She grabbed Ranboo by the shoulders and looked deep into his eyes. 

“Can you bake? You look like you can bake. We have a problem. Someone let Quackity near the cupcakes and now they either have vodka or edible glitter in them. It could be both, it could be neither. I’m not willing to take that risk, so we have to make new ones. I need your help. Ok? Ok.” 

“Uh…”

Without even waiting for Ranboo’s response, Niki dragged him off to the kitchen. 

Quackity laughed from behind her and walked over to Tommy. “Tomas! So glad you could make it! How’s your day been?”

“Chaotic.”

Quackity laughed again. “I feel that. Here, have a drink!” Quackity gave Tommy a glass.

Taking a sip, Tommy immediately noticed the undertones of Vodka. “...What is this?”

“Vodka lemonade?”

Wilbur gasped. “Q! He’s 16!”

Tommy waved him off. “It’s fine, Wil. I’ve drinken before.”

Wilbur looked unconvinced. “If you want to ruin your life, I guess I can’t stop you.”

Quackity smirked at Wil. “Hypocrite.”

Wilbur glared at Quackity. “Fuck off.”

Quackity laughed and walked over to the kitchen, most likely to antagonize Niki again.

Tommy turned back to Wilbur. “How often do you all do this?”

Wilbur shrugged. “A couple times a year. We try for once a month, but with recording schedules that’s kind of hard. Don’t worry, it’s not usually that chaotic.”

A crash came from the living room, followed by the sound of people yelling. Tubbo, Grian, and Drista ran out of the room laughing, chased by Cleo and Mumbo, both covered in glitter. 

“Drista you brat! Get back here!”

Tommy moved out of the way to let them pass before staring at Wilbur with a deadpan look. 

Wil just laughed. “Yeah, maybe we should’ve listened to Sapnap. Anyway, you want to play some Mario Kart?

“...yeah, sure.”

Techno opened the door to the basement and looked out. “Oh, hey Tommy! You here to beat Wil’s ass in Mario Kart?”

Tommy scoffed. “I’m here to beat everyone’s ass in Mario Kart.”

Wilbur laughed. “Alright then, want to put your money where your mouth is?”

Tommy made a face. “What the fuck does that mean?”

Wil was silent for a moment. “...I… have no idea.”

Techno laughed and threw a pillow at Wilbur’s face. “1 v 1 Mario Kart, Wil. Loser has to get the pizza.”

Wilbur grinned. “You’re on.” He grabbed Tommy’s arm and dragged him towards the basement, leaving the three children coving people in glitter and the possibly spiked cupcakes upstairs.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Boardwalk, bitch! That’s 1400!”

Wilbur groaned. “Why does God hate me?”

Tommy laughed as he collected the last of Wilbur’s cash. “Sucks to suck I guess.”

Tommy took a sip of his drink. It was his fourth for the night, a Vodka Cranberry. He was a bit tipsy but whatever.

Purpled looked over from his side of the board. “How often do you play monopoly? You’re beating me, and I won a worldwide championship.”

Techno coughed. “Nerd.”

Purpled glared at him before turning back to Tommy. “Well?”

Tommy shrugged. “I don’t think playing before would help me. Considering this is definitely not regular monopoly.”

Purpled looked around at the board, or rather, the 8 boards that had been combined into one, big enough for the 25 people who were crowded around it. “What do you mean? it's P.C. monopoly?”

Tommy laughed and rolled his eyes. “Anyway, I’m not as good as Tubbo.”

He pointed over to where Tubbo was sitting counting his stack of five-hundreds. Purpled stared at Tommy.

“Tubbo has been threatening nuclear war, making alliances, and toppling governments. He’s also doing that in this game of monopoly. He’s not good at the game, everyone’s just too scared to cross him.”

Tommy shrugged. “He’s still winning.”

Purpled rolled his eyes. “Whatever. The game’s almost over anyway.”

Tommy looked around and saw that there were only a few people left in the game. The pizza had long been eaten and most of the snacks were gone. Bowls of ice cream and milkshakes lay scattered around the room. Looking out the window, he noticed it had gotten extremely dark outside.

“Shit… what time is it?”

Purpled glanced down at his watch. “Almost 12:30, why?” 

Tommy stood up. “Shit! I told my parents I would be at their apartment by 12! I have to go, I’m sorry!” He started moving towards the door, but Wilbur grabbed his arm. 

“Tommy, you're fucking wasted, I'm not letting you go anywhere. Also, wait, why do you have to go?”

“I'm not fucking wasted! I'm barely tipsy! And I told my parents I would meet with them tonight!”

Looking down at his phone, he grimaced at all of the missed calls and texts from his parents and manager. 

“Wait, I thought you were staying the night?”

Tommy sighed. “I wanted to, but my parents wouldn’t let me.”

Wilbur looked at him strangely. “Why do they get to decide?”

Tommy looked up at him. “...They’re my parents. They get to tell me what to do.”

Wilbur scowled. “They’re shitty parents if they’re making you work rather than hang out with your friends on a weekend. Stay here, I’ll talk to your parents. I’m sure they’ll understand if I tell them what’s going on.”

Tommy relaxed and grinned up at him. “Thanks, Wil.” He unlocked his phone and gave it to Wilbur. 

“Hey, Lux?”

Lux looked up from where they’d been arguing with Tubbo over property values. “Yeah?”

Wil held the phone out to her. “I think it would be good if you also talked to Tommy’s parents, in case I wasn’t enough.”

Lux smiled darkly. “I’d love to.” They stood up and walked over to Wilbur.

They walked out of the room, and Tommy sat down next to Grian. “Hey, G? I think it’s your turn.”

Grian looked up from his phone, looking troubled. “What?” 

“Grian? Everything ok?”

“Huh? Oh, yeah. Just… work.”

Tommy frowned. He reached forward and grabbed the phone from his hands, throwing it over to Pearl, who put it behind her. “No work stuff during monopoly, G.” 

“Wha— hey! Pearl!”

Pearl just laughed. “You heard the man, Pesky. Now, I believe it’s your turn.”

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**Call started**

“Thomas! What is wrong with you? Do you have any idea how late you are?”

“Your mother is right, Thomas. This is completely unacceptable. I knew it was a bad idea to let you go to that party, Craft or not.”

“After this, I’m inclined to say no events that aren’t required! You’re bound to ruin our reputation otherwise!”

“...your reputation?”

“...Who is this? Where is Thomas?”

“This is Wilbur Craft. I’m surprised you don’t recognise my voice.”

“...Mr. Wilbur–”

“Craft.”

“R– Right. Mr. Craft, why do you have Thomas’s phone?”

“I have Tommy’s phone because he gave it to me. He wanted to stay the night but apparently his parents didn’t let him.”

“Mr. Craft–”

“I don’t want to hear it. Tommy will be spending the night, with or without your consent.”

“Mr. Craft you can’t be serious. This is our child, you cannot control how we parent!”

“...I had a feeling this would happen. Let me pass the phone to someone you might be more… inclined to listen to.”

“What—”

“Hello, Mr. and Mrs. Simons.”

“Lux!”

“Luxury. Watcher. It’ll do you well to remember that.”

“Y– yes, of– of course Lu– Ms. Watcher. How can we… be of assistance?”

“You can start by no longer interfering with Tommy’s affairs.”

“...but–”

“If you really wanted to help, you would give up custody of Tommy completely. But let’s not get ahead of ourselves.”

“Give up–”

“What–”

“I’m going to hang up now. Don’t tell Tommy what he can or can’t do again. Do I make myself clear?”

“Ms–”

“Do I make myself clear?”

“...I– Um– Y– yes. T– thank you.”

“Good. Wilbur?”

“Thanks, Lux. Goodbye, Mr. and Mrs. Simons. It’s such a shame Tommy shares a last name with you.” 

“Mr—”

“Although… that won’t be a problem for much longer.”

“Wait what—”

“Alright, goodbye!”

**Call Ended**

Chapter Text

It took Tommy a minute to remember where he was when he woke up. He was lying on the floor with a hand combing through his hair. He almost closed his eyes and went back to sleep, completely melting into the touch, before he remembered. He was at Wilbur’s house. He quickly sat up, Wilbur’s hand falling out of his hair. Before he could say anything, Wil smiled sleepily up at him.

“Good morning, Sunshine.”

Tommy stretched and glared at Wilbur. “Sunshine? Really?”

Wilbur shrugged. “It suits you.”

Tommy made a face. “If you say so. What’s for breakfast?”

“Pancakes.”

Tommy grinned and walked over to the kitchen, leaving Wilbur in the living room. There was quiet chatter coming from the room, as well as the smell of pancakes. Tubbo looked up as he walked in.

“Hey, big man! How are you?”

Tommy shrugged. “Pretty good. Wilbur made me sleep on the floor though.”

There was a call from the living room. “I made you sleep on an air mattress! There’s a difference!”

Tommy rolled his eyes. “Ignore him, he’s lying.”

Tubbo laughed. “Alright big man. If you say so. Want some pancakes?”

Tommy hesitated and looked around the kitchen, trying to determine if the pancakes were safe to eat. After last night with the cupcakes, he wasn’t touching them with a 6 foot pole if anyone other than Niki had made them. 

Niki and Puffy were sitting by the stove, but so was Grian and Quackity. Drista was holding what looked like a tub of edible glitter and was far too close to the pancake batter for Tommy’s liking.

“Depends. Who made them?”

Tubbo laughed and rolled his eyes. “Niki and Puffy. They’ve defended that batter with their lives.”

Tommy grinned. “Then yes, I will have pancakes.”

Niki grinned at him and handed a plate of pancakes over to him. While her back was turned, Grian and Quackity distracted Puffy and Drista took the opportunity to dump the glitter into the batter. Niki turned back and instantly noticed the clearly more glittery batter.

“DRISTA!”

Drista cackled and ran out of the room, grabbing Tubbo, Quackity, and Grian as she did so. Quackity was dodging Puffy’s attempts to grab him.

“RUN!” 

Drista grinned. “LONG LIVE THE GLITTER QUEEN!”

Tommy just barely managed to get out of the way before Puffy was sprinting after the three.

“...Well then.”

Niki sighed and handed Tommy a bowl of fruits and some syrup. “Just ignore them.”

Tommy grinned and sat down at the counter to begin eating. After a few minutes, Techno walked over and sat down next to him. “ Mornin’, Theseus.”

“Morning.”

Techno grabbed a plate of pancakes and some bacon. “So what are your plans for the day?”

Tommy shrugged. “Well it’s the game tonight, innit? I’ll probably head back to my place to get ready.”

Techno frowned at that, but nodded. “Wilbur won’t be happy that you’re leaving so soon.”

“Why’s it matter to him?”

Techno shrugged. “He’s super possessive. He’ll probably try to convince you to get ready here just so he doesn’t have to see you leave.”

Tommy frowned. “He’s only known me for three days, big man. I doubt it’ll be an issue.”

Techno scoffed. “You’d think that, wouldn’t you?”

“What the fuck does that mean?”

Techno shrugged and waved him off. “Nothing important.”

…that wasn’t weird at all.

Tommy tried to ignore the look in Techno’s eyes. “Well, Wil just sounds like a clingy bitch.”

There was a shout of protest from Wil, who had just walked into the room. 

“Tommy! How dare you! I thought we were friends!”

“Deal with it, Wilbitch.”

Techno laughed, taking a bite of pancakes.

“...Why is my food glittery?”

Laughter from the other room.

“DRISTA”

“RUN DRISTA”

“GET BACK HERE YOU LITTLE BITCH”

Techno rolled his eyes. “Bruh.”

Wil turned towards Tommy. “So what was that about you leaving?”

Tommy nodded as he finished his food. “Yeah, Tubbo, Ran and I should head out soon. I have to talk to my parents today, we’re meeting G for lunch, and we need to get ready for the game. It’s already after 10, so we don’t have much time if we want to also relax a little.”

“You could relax here.”

Tommy shrugged. “I guess. I’d rather go home to get ready.”

Wilbur gasped and leaned down on Tommy’s head dramatically. “But what will I do without my little baby brother?”

Tommy scoffed and pushed Wilbur off of him. “You’ll survive.”

Puffy walked back through the door, dragging Tubbo and Grian behind her. She turned towards Niki. “The brat got away.”

Niki laughed darkly. “Don’t worry. I’ll find her.”

Lux glanced up half-heartedly. “She’s in the game room.”

Niki nodded and grabbed Cleo and Gem by the arms, pulling them out of the room with her. A bit later, there was a terrified scream coming from somewhere upstairs. Puffy grinned and looked back to the three ‘glitter minions’ that had already been caught. 

Tubbo was trying to hide under the table (everyone could see him), Grian was attempting to dump glitter on Puffy’s head (he was caught immediately), and Quackity was trying to hide behind a newspaper (it was upside down).

Another scream from upstairs. Puffy and Lux exchanged a look that sent shivers down Tommy’s spine. Tommy laughed nervously, grabbing Ranboo and Tubbo as he moved towards the door. “I think that’s our cue to leave…”

The three shouted goodbyes over their shoulders just as Drista was dragged kicking and screaming into the kitchen, Puffy standing ready with a bowl of glitter and Techno telling them that he wasn’t cleaning this up.

“Well that was… nice?”

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

THE GLITTER QUEEN WILL STRIKE AGAIN!!!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Tommy flopped down on the couch with a sigh. Henry came up to him, wagging his tail. Tommy petted him as he scrolled through T.V. channels. Eventually, Tubbo called down from upstairs.

“TOMMY! WE’RE LEAVING FOR LUNCH IN TWO HOURS! IF YOU’RE CALLING YOUR PARENTS DO IT NOW!”

Tommy rolled his eyes. He had forgotten about lunch with the Watcher kids. 

“GIVE ME A MINUTE, BIG MAN!”

Tommy sighed and walked up the stairs to change his clothes. He hadn’t had a change of clothes last night, so was in the same clothes as yesterday. Pulling on a new shirt and pants, he heard his phone ring from the other side of the room. Looking down at the screen, he saw his dad’s contact. 

“Let’s get this over with…”

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Wow there’s so much suspense.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Hi Gree-on!”

“Hey Sam. Any updates?”

“Nope. Why’re you so worried about this? It’s not like she’ll try anything.”

“...Sam, have you met your girlfriend?”

“Well she’s not my girlfriend anymore…”

“Yeah, that’s why I’m worried. Do you even remember the last time you tried to break up with her?”

“Prom?” 

“Yeah. I was worried I was going to leave that school in a body bag.”

“ Relax Gree-on. She was just goofing and gaffing.”

“Wha– I– ugh. Whatever. I’m just saying she was pretty mad the last time. Now, especially with me revoking her invite, she’s going to think I made you two break up. You know how crazy she can get about revenge.”

“C’mon Gree-on. Not everything is about you.”

“And it’s about you instead?”

“Your words, not mine.”

“Whatever, Sam. Just… find her?”

“I’ll try. She’s super hard to find when she doesn’t want to be. Maybe Silly knows? They’re pretty close, right?”

“I guess? I don’t know, I haven’t talked to Silly in weeks.”

“I’d ask her if we can’t find her anytime soon. Ellen probably knows where she is.”

“Yeah, thanks.”

“Oh! And Taurtis!”

“Yeah?”

“...I meant Taurtis probably knows.”

“...Right. Sorry.”

“It’s alright Gree-on! It’s kind of weird you answer to your friend’s name, though.”

“You’re the one who– oh my god nevermind.”

“Whatever you say Gree-on! I’ll let you know if we find her.”

“Uh-huh. Bye, Sam.”

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Sam totally broke up with her over the phone because he was too scared to do it in person. That’s canon now, i don’t even care if I had something else planned

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Hello?”

“Thomas.”

Tommy sighed. He was used to his dad’s short temper, but he didn’t realize that taking an extra minute to pick up the phone would set him off. 

“Hi, Dad.”

Silence. Just how mad was he?

“So… what’s up?”

“What’s up? Really Thomas? Don’t play fucking dumb.”

Oh. So, really mad then. Tommy rolled his eyes. Great talk, dad. Glad you’re so supportive.

“Uhh…”

Tommy mentally ran through everything he could’ve done wrong, but nothing immediately came to mind. 

“Sorry…? What did I do?”

“What do you think you did?

They were making him guess? Wow, they really hated him today. Let’s see… were they still mad about him ditching them last night? He’d thought talking to Wil and Lux would calm them down, but maybe not…

“For… staying over at Wil’s?”

“...”

“...Is that not it?”

“Honestly Thomas, it’s like you don’t even care about our reputation! How are you so fucking oblivious that you don’t even know what you did wrong? Why on earth did you think it was a good idea to go against our direct orders when we do so much work to help you! Do you not respect us? We’re your parents!”

Well, looks like they were mad about Wil. Huh. Wait, did he just say he did a lot of work? Last Tommy had checked, his parents did little more than sit home and spend money. 

…They occasionally met with his manager? 

…yeah, who was he kidding? That was just a way for them to spend more money. Well, looks like he was taking the good old fashioned route. Lying!

“I… respect you.”

(Please don’t know I’m lying.Please don’t know I’m lying.Please don’t know I’m lying. Please don’t know I’m lying.Please don’t know I’m lying.Please don’t know I’m lying.)

“Well, what Mr. Craft said last night didn’t show that.”

(Shit)

“...What? I thought Wil explained things?”

“Yes, and he made it clear you had no respect for all the effort we put into getting you to this point.”

“Was he rude?”

“He acted as someone of his status should.”

(Translation: Yes, but we have to respect him so we’re blaming you instead.)

“But he informed us that you didn’t care in the slightest that you had wasted our time.”

What had Wil said?

“I’m… sorry?”

“I KNOW you’re sorry Thomas! You’re always sorry! And yet you neve—”

Tommy tried to cut in. “Wait–”

Oh… his dad did not like that. “...did you just interrupt me?”

Shit. Tommy had forgotten about that dumb rule his parents had instated.

“I’m–”

“Sorry. Right. Do you need a reminder on how to act? Because it seems like–”

He let Tommy fill in the blanks. His dad started talking again, but Tommy couldn’t hear him over the white noise filling his head. Phantom pains echoed on his body, bruises and scars that had long since healed, but the memories still burned fresh in his mind.

“–hould be more grateful for what we do for you!”

…Should he have listened to that? (Quick just pretend you were listening)

“Yes sir, I’m sorry sir.”

Tommy hated these phone calls. He hated talking to his parents at all, actually, when no one else was around. In a place where they could tell him exactly what they think, without fear of their precious reputation being ruined.

“So, Thomas. Are you ready to behave?”

He hated when they talked to him like this. It made him feel like a servant. Or a pet. Not their son. Henry noticed his distress and came over, pressing his head into Tommy’s hand until he pet him.

“Yes, sir.”

“Good. Now, let’s go over the plan for the rest of the day…”

Tommy sighed and resisted the urge to hang up the call. So much for a ‘quick call’.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Not me remembering that I have the referenced child abuse tag halfway through the fic

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Hey! Sorry we’re late!”

Tommy looked up from where he and his friends were sitting. Grian and Pearl had just sat down at their table. Pearl looked annoyed and Grian looked slightly out of breath.

Tubbo shrugged. “It’s all good. We actually just got here. Someone was running late again.”

Tommy gasped. “Wha– hey! It wasn’t my fault! …This time.”

Tubbo rolled his eyes. “Anyway, have you been here before? I don’t know what to get.”

Grian nodded. “Yeah, it’s all really good, but my favorite is definitely the avocado rice bowl.”

Tubbo grinned. “I’ll get that then, big man.”

The server came around a few minutes later, taking their orders. Grian and Tubbo got their weird-ass rice bowl, Pearl got a falafel sandwich, and Ranboo got spaghetti bolognese. Tommy ordered a chicken salad and a coke.

After they got their food, they fell into easy conversation. Tubbo was ranting about some new military-grade weapon. Grian was adding in his own opinions every so often, with Ranboo occasionally butting in with safety issues. Tommy took a minute to realize how surreal this all was. Three days ago he’d been at home excited at even the idea of being at this event. Now, he was eating lunch with the biggest child stars this century . 

“What do you think, Tommy?”

Oh, were they talking to him? “What?”

Tubbo smirked at him. “Zoning out again?”

Tommy blushed. “It’s your fault for being so fucking boring!”

Grian laughed. “We were discussing the pros and cons of a rocket launcher in battle.”

“Well…”

Ranboo groaned and buried his head in his hands. “Not you too, Tommy.”

Tommy laughed before turning back to Grian and Tubbo. “Well theoretically you could make the rocket into like a confetti popper? Full of glitter?”

Tubbo frowned. “Would that be logistically possible? Maybe if you…”

Grian just grinned. “That is the best idea I have ever heard.”

Pearl sighed. “You’ve doomed us all, Tommy.”

Tommy shrugged. “It's not my fault that military-grade weapons are so easy to come by. Besides, it’s better than the time Tubbo asked me the best way to hide a body.”

“Cut it up and bury the pieces. Bury an animal a few feet above it, so that if anyone investigates it, it just looks like a dead animal. Grab some bleach and an alibi, and you’re good to go.”

That… wasn’t Pearl. Tommy looked up to see two boys standing next to their table. One had on a bunny hat while the other had on a pair of headphones and was on his phone. The boy in the hat grinned down at him before continuing.

“Of course, you could always take the easy way out. Plant some evidence and find a scapegoat. Suddenly you’re free of all blame.”

The boy in the headphones looked up. “Who’s hiding a body?”

The boy in the hat shrugged. “Gree-on’s friend.” 

Pearl glared up at the two boys. “Wha– No! No one is hiding a body!”

Bunny boy frowned. “Aw. That’s too bad.” 

What the fuck was this kid’s problem?

Grian looked up from his conversation with Tubbo. “Oh! Sam! Did you find anything?”

Bunny Boy– Sam? Sam shook his head. “Naw. We just wanted to ask you about the next steps.”

Grian nodded. “We should get in contact with Silly right? Anyone know where she is right now?”

Headphones boy chimed in. “At home, probably. She’ll be at the game though!”

Sam rolled his eyes. “Jerry–” Headphones elbowed him. “Sorry, Taurtis here seems to think that Ellen can do some voodoo shit or something to find you-know-who though.”

Headphones (was it Jerry or Taurtis?) elbowed Sam again. “I said she might be able to help! You’re the only one who mentioned ‘voodoo shit’!”

“What! No I didn’t! Gree-on, back me up!”

Grian grinned. “I think I’ll take Taurtis’s word on this one.”

Sam gasped. “What! Gree-on how could you? Am I not trustworthy?”

Grian scowled. “You haven’t had the best track record.”

Sam frowned. “Name one time I’ve made a bad call.”

Grian stared at him. “ YOU GAMBLED AWAY OUR HOUSE ”

“ON ACCIDENT!” 

…ok then.

Headphones (Tommy was pretty sure his name was Taurtis) sighed. “Guys? Maybe focus on the issue at hand? We can talk about Sam’s poor life choices later.”

Tubbo stage-whispered over to Tommy. “What the fuck is happening?”

Tommy shrugged. “Pearl? Grian? Care to explain?”

Pearl sighed. “That’s just Sam. He’s a…” She paused, turning to Grian and Taurtis. “What do I call him?”

“Friend?”

“Psychopath?”

“Asshole?”

“Stalker?”

Tommy gave a pained smile. “You make him seem so trustworthy.”

Pearl sighed. “Yeah, they're not being helpful.”

“We’re also not wrong!”

“I guess he’s a… we went to highschool together. Or, at least, he went to school with Taurtis and Grian.”

Sam nodded. “Taurtis is my best friend! Grian’s okay I guess.”

Grian rolled his eyes. “Ok Mr. ‘let’s steal from the mafia’”

“IT WAS ONE TIME!”

“NO, IT WAS LITERALLY THREE!”

The three boys devolved into yelling. Tommy stared at the chaos around him. “Are they… always like this?”

Pearl sighed. (She sighed a lot.) “Pretty much. Anyway, yeah, that’s Sam. The one next to him is Taurtis. Right now I think they’re trying to find Sam’s girlfriend.”

“Ex-Girlfriend.”

Pearl looked surprised. “You finally broke up with her?”

Sam laughed nervously. “Yeah… she didn’t take it well.”

Pearl sighed. “I can imagine. You’re lucky you made it out of that conversation in one piece. The only reason she isn’t in prison is because of her dad.”

Taurtis coughed into his hand. “I mean… the only reason we’re not in prison is because of Grian’s parents.”

Sam scoffed. “Speak for yourself. I’m way too skilled to get caught.”

Grian stared at him. “How did we never get caught? We broke dozens of laws, but only got in trouble for like, two of them.”

Sam shrugged. “I’m good at covering things up.”

Ranboo laughed nervously. “Not the best thing to say when you were just explaining how to hide a body.”

Sam shrugged. “Eh. That was metaphorical. I’d never do it that way in real life.”

Ranboo did not look reassured. 

Grian rolled his eyes. “Yeah, yeah. Anyway, this is Tommy, Tubbo, and Ranboo. They’re some of Pearl and my… let’s go with… friends.” 

Sam grinned. “And it’s nice to meet you all! I’d love to stay and chat, but I am slightly worried that Yuki is going to try running another one of Taurtis’s girlfriends over.”

Taurtis frowned. “Too soon, man. Salex is still in the hospital from that.”

Tommy frowned. What the fuck was Grian’s highschool like?

Sam shrugged. “Anyway. See you all at the banquet!”

“Bye, Sam.”

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I’ll explain the timeline in the end note dw. Sam’s not as crazy as cannon. He’s still crazy tho don’t get me wrong

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Ran, that’s like the sixth outfit you’ve tried on. Just pick something.”

Ranboo linked up from where he had been half-buried in his closet. (Someone could make a joke about that.) He grabbed another shirt and held it up. 

“I just need to make sure that it’s perfect!”

Tommy rolled his eyes as he scrolled through instagram. “The last twenty shirts were fine. Just pick one.” 

“It’s not that easy!”

Tommy looked around and grabbed the nearest shirt. It was white with a purple trim and had a small purple crown on it. He threw it as hard as he could towards Ranboo’s face. “Here. Problem solved.”

Ranboo gasped as he looked at the shirt. “That is cute… but what if–”

Tommy groaned. “I give up. Your turn, Tubbo.”

Tubbo sighed, joining Ranboo in the closet (Someone could make a joke about that, too. Note to self, insert funny joke about Ranboo and Tubbo both being in a closet.) and tried to convince Ranboo to choose a shirt. They’d been going back and forth for the last 45 minutes already, attempting to just get ready. 

Tommy’s phone dinged and he looked back down at it. 

Will-I-Am (WilBitch)

5:34 pm

                     Will-I-Am: Tommy

                     Will-I-Am: Tooooomy

                     Will-I-Am: Tom

                     Will-I-Am: Tommy

                   Raccooninnit : what bitch

                   Raccooninnit : I’m busy

                     Will-I-Am: I’m bored

                     Will-I-Am: come hang out with meee

                    Raccooninnit : wtf

                    Raccooninnit: no

                    Raccooninnit:  we’re leaving in like 30 min

                     Will-I-Am: plese

                     Will-I-Am: oh wait yeah

                     Will-I-Am: ill see you at the game then

                    Raccooninnit : if i ever make it there

                    Raccooninnit : Ranboob is taking forever

                    Raccooninnit : might be here for the next 100 years

                    Raccooninnit : so sad

                     Will-I-Am: nooo

                     Will-I-Am: techs calling me

                     Will-I-Am: see you at the game child

                    Raccooninnit : not a child bitch

                    Raccooninnit : bye

Tommy was interrupted by Tubbo throwing a pillow at his head. 

“Yo, Big Man, a little help here?”

Looking up, he saw that Ranboo had finally decided on a shirt (The one he recommended, thank you), but was now going back and forth between shorts and a pair of jeans. 

Tommy sighed. “Ran, we’re going to be late.”

“Don’t rush me!”

Tubbo eventually had enough, chucking a pair of jean shorts at his head.

“Put those on and let’s go.”

“Wha– Tubbo!”

“Nope. You had your chance, now we’re leaving.”

Ranboo groaned and pulled the pants on. “Fuck you.”

“Sure, Boo. Let’s just go.”

Tommy got up and stretched, happy to finally be going. He himself had been dressed for hours, wearing a white tee-shirt with red trim under an oversized blue sweater with clouds on it. (He did not wear it because it reminded him of Wilbur. Fuck off.)

“Fucking finally .”

Ranboo looked offended. “I didn’t take that long!”

Tubbo laughed. “Yeah, only an hour and a half. That might be a record for you!”

Ranboo rolled his eyes. “It’s not my fault I’m indecisive!”

“Kinda is, king.”

Tommy walked down the stairs into the front hall. Through the window, he could see a car waiting for them. His –ugh– parents were already sitting in the car. No point in delaying the inevitable, he supposed. He and his friends walked outside. 

“Thomas! There you are! We were almost late!”

Tommy rolled his eyes. “Yeah. someone couldn’t decide what to wear.”

Tommy’s dad grabbed his arm and pulled him aside. “Tommy, I need you to be on your best behavior tonight.”

Tommy sighed. “Yeah, Yeah.”

his dad’s grip tightened. Tommy was worried it might bruise. “No, Tommy, you have to be perfect. Never leave my side. The Crafts and the Watchers have their eyes on you now. They’ll try to tear you down. Ruin you. I’ve seen it happen before. Stay close to us.”

Tommy wanted to say that Wilbur and Phil and Techno and Kristen actually seemed to enjoy his company. That Grian, Pearl, and Lux had been nothing but kind to him. But he didn’t. He just nodded his head and behaved . “Yes, sir.”

“Good. Let’s go, Thomas.”

They got in the car and drove off. Tommy sighed. This was going to be a long night.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Oop. Also Ranboo’s outfit is just his Vtuber.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Yuki! Oh my god you have no idea how long I’ve been looking for you.”

“Sam! Oh my goodness! Of course we can get back together!”

“Huh? Oh, no I don’t want to get back together.”

“...What?”

“Yeah, I kinda like Sookie now. Also you’re insane. Minor detail. But anyway, I wanted to ask yo–”

“...Sookie?”

“Hm? Oh, yeah, she’s super cute. Anyway, I just needed to ask if you’d–”

“..He put you up to this, didn’t he?”

“What? Who?”

“Him”

“...Look, I just needed to know where you’ve been? And Gree-on—”

“I Fucking knew it! He’s making you break up with me! He’s keeping us apart!”

“Gre-on? Gree-on couldn’t care less. He was just wondering if you wanted like, compensation or something for having your invite taken away—.”

“SAM! Can’t you see he’s trying to buy my silence! I know that you don’t want this, you can tell me!”

“What the fuck are you on about?”

“Is he listening? Is he threatening you? Don’t worry Sammy, I can protect you!”

“...So I'm just going to tell him you don’t want anything…”

“I want him to stop meddling in our relationship!”

“Yuki, we don’t have a relationship anymore! We broke up!”

“Because he made you break up with me! I’ll fucking kill him!”

“So… I can see you’re still a bit upset over the breakup…”

“IT WASN’T A BREAKUP! YOU DIDN’T WANT TO BREAK UP WITH ME! HE FORCED YOU TO!”

“I’ll just come back later than…”

“NO! HE’S KEEPING US APART!!”

“I’ll just… say you don’t want anything...”

“HE’S CONTROLING YOU!”

“Oookay…. So…. I’m just gonna… go now…”

“SAM!”

“Sam!”

“...Sam?”

“NO SAM PLEASE”

“COME BACK”

“...So… Grian is taking this further than I thought. First making Sam break up with me, then forcing him to pretend to like Sookie?”

“And I can’t even touch him! Stupid Watchers!”

“...Maybe I could end up doing something with that Tommy boy…”

“Hee hee… see you at the game Sammy…”

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Woah, that’s kinda creepy. Take a chill pill, Yuki. or some antipsychotics or smth

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Good afternoon ladies and gentlemen and welcome to Dodger Stadium for today's baseball game between the San Francisco Giants and the The Los Angeles Dodgers!” 

Tommy glanced around at the people around him. Outside of the suite there had been a packed stadium of shouting people, but inside everything was muffled. There was music playing over the speakers, with people talking all around the large room. The announcer’s voice cut through the crowd occasionally as the game began. No one in the room seemed all that interested in the game, unlike the people in the stadium outside, but Tommy supposed that they were only here for the publicity. 

Tommy spotted Wilbur through the crowd and waved, starting to make his way over to him. He was immediately stopped by his father, who placed a hand on his shoulder. “Remember what we talked about.”

Tommy sighed, but nodded. He followed his parents to where they were walking away, towards some famous architect. Tommy sat at the edge of their conversation, ignoring the way that his parents constantly avoided letting him answer any questions. The man they were talking to (Tommy was pretty sure his name was Xisuma?) was polite enough, but Tommy could tell he was getting worn down from his parents’ constant talking.

He turned towards Tubbo and Ranboo, who had been trailing behind him. “You can go talk to Grian and Pearl if you want.”

They both hesitated. “We don’t want to leave you alone, Big Man.”

Tommy scoffed. “Oh fuck off. I’ll be fine, just have to play nice for a few hours. I’ll catch up with you later?”

Tubbo nodded and pulled Ranboo away, running over to where Grian and Pearl were with their friends on the other side of the room. Tommy grinned and turned back to the conversation.

“–already caught the attention of the Watchers–!” 

Tommy rolled his eyes. No point in listening to his parents talk about him. He was pretty sure they hated everything about him except his success. He glanced up and caught Wilbur’s eyes from across the room. Wilbur started to make his way over, but Tommy waved him off and gestured to his parents. Wil’s expression turned stormy before he turned and whispered something to Lux.

Lux just grinned at Wilbur before walking over to Tommy and his parents. 

“Xisuma! Just the man I wanted to talk to! Keralis is looking for you.”

Xisuma smiled, clearly relieved, and walked off to where another man was waving him over. Lux watched him go with an easy smile. Tommy’s parents shifted nervously. “Ms. Luxury!”

Lux put on a clearly fake smile. “Mr. and Ms. Simons. Do you mind if I borrow Tommy for a minute?”

Tommy’s Dad frowned. “Unfortunately, we’d prefer Thomas remain by our sides for tonight. We don’t want to lose him in the crowd!”

Lux shrugged. “Well, I’d be with him.”

Tommy’s mom smiled a bit. “Well, there are just so many people here, and…”

Lux frowned. “...alright.” she glanced over at someone. 

Ray, who had been passing by, looked at her and nodded, before running up to Tommy’s parents. “Mr. and Ms. Simons! I’ve been looking for you everywhere! Our parents wanted to meet with you!”

Tommy’s parents grinned. “Really?”

Ray nodded, winking at Tommy. “Oh, yes! They requested you by name! If you come with me I’ll lead you to them.”

Tommy’s parents eagerly followed behind Ray, completely forgetting Tommy. Lux laughed at his bewildered look. “You’re welcome.”

Tommy glanced up at her. “How did you know that would work?”

Lux’s smile faded. “I know the type, I suppose.” She shook her head quickly. “But let’s not dwell on that! Instead, take advantage of your new-found freedom! Let’s go talk to some actually interesting people! Not whoever your parents think they are!”

Tommy smiled and let her lead him away towards Wilbur, Grian, and Tubbo. When he got there, Wil gave him a hug and glared in the direction of his parents. “Glad you got out of there!”

Tommy laughed. “Yeah, thanks, King. My parents thought you and Lux were going to try to ‘ruin my reputation’ or some shit.”

Wil frowned. “I wouldn’t!”

Tommy laughed. “I know, Wil. they’re just a bit insane today.”

He turned back to the group. Grian was talking to a young girl in glasses, a person with purple hair and an eyepatch, Sam, and Taurtis. “Hey, Tommy! This is Silly and this is Ellen! I don’t think you’ve met them yet!”

Tommy grinned. “Nice to meet you!”

Silly grinned. “Likewise! Wil’s been talking about you non-stop since I got here!”

Ellen rolled their eyes. “Seriously. You’d think you’d died or some shit.”

Grian elbowed Ellen. “Be nice!” 

Ellen gave him a fake smile. “This is me being nice.”

Grian fixed them with a glare and they sighed. “Sorry, the whole Yuki situation is just putting me on edge.”

Grian winced sympathetically. “Sorry. Just a little longer and we’ll be good. You’re doing great.”

Ellen sighed. “Yeah, let’s just make sure this goes smoothly.”

They turned towards Tommy. “Anyway, it’s nice to meet you. Any friend of G’s is a friend of mine.”

Tommy grinned at them. “Let’s get this party fucking started!”

“Language.”

“Shut up Mumbo.”

“Shutting up.”

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Lux coming in clutch. Might make a Lux backstory oneshot. Who knows. TBD.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Hey! You’re Tommy, right?”

Tommy turned and glanced at the young girl that stood beside him. She had bright pink hair and a huge smile.

“Uh… yeah?”

She smiled. “I'm Yuki. It’s nice to meet you!”

Tommy frowned. Hadn’t he heard that name before? He shook his head. Probably not important. 

“Yeah, nice to meet you too. I’m sorry, I… uh… don’t know who you are…”

She just smiled at him. “Oh, you know, just some small actress. I went to school with Grian though.”

Tommy thought for a moment. Had Grian mentioned something about a Yuki that went to his school…?

Nah, he was probably just imagining it.

“Oh… cool! I thought everyone who went to YHS was insane! Nice to know there were some normal people there too.”

Yuki giggled a bit. “Yeah, it was a wild year. Speaking of, Grian was looking for you.”

Tommy frowned. “Really? I just came from talking with him… I was just over here to get some food…”

Yuki frowned for a moment before smiling again. “Yeah… I guess your parents were looking for you? So he wanted to meet you outside as to not draw attention to the fact you had ditched them.”

Tommy hesitated. That didn’t seem like something Grian would do… but if his parents were looking for him he might’ve. “Uh… sure?”

Yuki grinned. “Great! Follow me!”

As they passed the refreshments table, Yuki grabbed a cup of lemonade and handed it over to Tommy. “Here! You’re probably thirsty from all the socializing!”

Tommy frowned. “Uh, yeah, I guess.” He took a tentative sip of it before placing it on a table he passed. Yuki smiled as he did. 

“Anyway, Grian was waiting for you just through here!” She pointed through a door that seemed to lead out to a back. “I should get back to the party, but you go ahead!”

Tommy frowned. “Are you sure that Grian wanted to meet… here ?”

Yuki’s smile became strained. “Yes! Now come on! You don’t want to keep him waiting!”

Tommy shook his head. “This just seems wei–”

Yuki scowled, reaching into her back pocket for something. It glistened a bit like metal. “Listen, Thomas , Grian wants you in there, so you’re going to go in there! Weather you want to or n–”

“Theseus.”

Tommy looked up to see Techno standing next to him. “What are you doing over here?”

Tommy glanced over at Yuki, a wave of dizziness hitting him. “Uhh… Yuki said Grian was waiting for me?”

Techno frowned over at Yuki. “Yuki?”

The girl in question chuckled a little. “Hiii, Techie. Have you seen Sammy anywhere? I can’t seem to find him…”

Techno didn’t look impressed. “You have five seconds to get out of here before I call security.”

Yuki scowled, but seemed to take the hint. “Tell that stupid bird to watch his back.” And with that, she was gone.

Techno turned back to Tommy. “You alright, kid?”

Tommy nodded hesitantly. “Uh… yeah? What was that all about?”

Techno sighed. “ That was Sam’s ex-girlfriend.”

Tommy glanced up at him, surprised. “The… crazy one?”

Techno nodded. “Yep.”

Another wave of dizziness hit Tommy. He shook it off and turned back to where Yuki had disappeared. “She seemed nice.”

Techno shrugged. “She usually does. Until there’s a literal and metaphorical knife in your back.”

“That’s not concerning at all.”

Techno laughed. “I’ll let G know to up security. She didn’t try anything, did she?”

Tommy shook his head. “No, I feel fine… Well, I’m a little dizzy, but that’s it.”

Techno frowned, concerned. “Dizzy?”

Tommy nodded. The dizziness was quickly getting worse. Was the world spinning, or was that just him? “Uh… yeah… I just gotta… walk it… off…”

Techno placed a hand on his shoulder. “Kid?”

The last thing Tommy saw before he passed out was Techno shouting for a doctor. 

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Y’all I wrote this at like, 4:30 am because ✨ crew ✨ and I have no idea how/why my sleep deprived ass managed to write this. It’s completely off script but whatever I’m too lazy to rewrite it so we’re going with it. 

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“So? What happened?”

“Fucking Technoblade happened.”

“Sorry?”

“I had him right there! We were so close! And then Technoblade fucking Craft decides to show up and whisk him away!”

“He has the Crafts on his side too?”

“YES! GOD I AM GOING TO FUCKING KILL THAT BRAT”

“Patience, Princess. He could be of use to us yet.”

“I DON’T FUCKING CARE!! I WANT SAMMY BACK! AND THAT STUPID BIRD HAD TO GO AND RUIN EVERYTHING!”

“I know, dearest.”

“I HAD THIS WHOLE CITY EATING OUT OF MY FUCKING PALM. EVERYONE LOVED ME! NO ONE CARED WHAT I DID! BUT THEN THAT FUCKING PARROT HAD TO GO WHINE TO HIS PARENTS THAT I PUT HIS FRIEND IN THE HOSPITAL. IT WASN’T EVEN FUCKING ME THAT TIME!! HOW AM I THE BAD GUY??”

“Yuki, listen, sweetheart…”

“NO! I WANT HIM FUCKING DEAD, DADDY. I WANT HIM TO SUFFER AND MAKE HIM WATCH HIS FRIENDS DIE AND KNOW IT WAS HIS FUCKING FAULT!”

“I know, my princess. You’ll get all of that and more. I’ll give you the world if it makes you happy.”

“Good. I’m sick of waiting.”

“You won’t have to for much longer. Pete? When’s the next opportunity to take the boy?”

“Saturday at the ball, Sir.”

“Perfect. Just hang on until Saturday, Sweet. Then you’ll have the world handed to you.”

“Alright, Daddy.”

“Pete?”

“Yes, Sir?”

“Don’t fuck it up this time. It’s your head on the line if this goes south again.”

“Yes, Sir.”

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Family bonding <3

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Tommy woke up to his phone ringing. He groaned, a pounding headache behind his eyes. Reaching over to the side, he grabbed his phone from his bedside table. Glancing down at his phone, his manager’s number flashed up at him. Tommy scoffed and threw his phone across the room. Turning over he threw himself back onto his bed, hoping to go back to sleep. 

“Tommy?”

“G’way W’lbr”

There was a quick gasp as someone ran over to his bed. “Tommy? Are you awake?”

Tommy groaned and slapped at the hands that were in his hair. Wilbur was such a clingy bitch.

…wait…

…Wilbur didn’t live in his house…

Tommy shot up and stared over at Wilbur, who looked extremely concerned. Behind him stood Tubbo, Ranboo, and… Lux?

“What are you doing here?”

Wilbur breathed a sigh of relief. “Oh good, you’re awake. The drugs are out of your system, but we were worried that you might’ve had some lingering effects.”

Tommy nodded before the words kicked in. “DRUGS? What the fuck? Did you drug me?”

Wilbur shook his head quickly. “No! I– what’s the last thing you remember?”

Tommy thought for a moment. “Uh… being at the game? And then… Oh! Yuki showed up! And she… Was she trying to kidnap me!”

Wilbur flinched. “...Maybe. She drugged the water she gave you.”

Tommy scowled. Tubbo seemed to not be able to wait anymore and shoved Wil out of the way, tackling Tommy with a hug. Ranboo quickly joined in. “Don’t fucking scare me like that again, big man.”

Tommy laughed a little. “Wasn’t my choice, Tubs.”

His phone started ringing again. Lux glanced down at it and threw it over to Tommy. “He’s been calling you non-stop.”

Tommy looked down at his phone. Ugh, his manager again. He took a deep breath and answered the phone. 

“Hello?”

“Thomas, thank goodness! I got a call from your parents that you took drugs?”

Tommy sighed. “I was drugged, yes.”

“Yes, of course. Now, I needed to talk to you about press day—”

Tommy cut him off. “Press day? Are you fucking with me? There’s no way in hell that I’m going to press day right now.”

Tommy’s manager sighed. “Thomas, this isn’t up for negotiation. I understand that you are in pain, and we’ve given you four hours of rest in your schedule. Everything else is set in stone, I’m afraid. Now, about the press…”

Tommy sighed and tuned out his manager. It was exactly like his parents. They were so sure they knew what was best, often neglecting his health, grades or happiness in order to get more media attention. Eventually, his manager let him hang up. Tommy groaned and held his head in his hands. Wilbur noticed his unrest and gave him a questioning look. 

“It’s just my manager. He’s going over the plan for the interviews.”

Wil frowned. “You were almost kidnapped and he’s worried about the press? Is he having a hard time canceling or something?”

Tommy shook his head. “He’s not canceling. Apparently I’ve ‘rested enough’ and need to get on with my day.”

Wilbur’s look turned downright deadly . He turned over to where Lux was standing. “Are you hearing this?”

Lux nodded. “Already on it. But think about it Wil, it would be a good introduction for him to do media day today.”

Wil scowled. “Wha–”

Lux rolled their eyes. “Wil. Think about it. They made him go to the interviews, against your wishes. How does that come across?”

Wil gave a slight smile. “Not well for them.”

“And good for you.” Lux grinned and turned back to Tommy. “Now, you have a couple of invites for today, but, barring your approval, I was going to go ahead and cancel them all in order for you to recover.”

Tommy hesitated. “What… who invited me?”

Lux pulled up a list on their phone. “Let me check… Purpled wanted to hold a kids lunch, The Tays wanted to offer you a job, your parents wanted a check-in, Scott and his family wanted to discuss getting you a new manager, ugh, Dream…, George wants to get some headshots… Oh! And the Craft family just wanted to talk over lunch.”

Tommy thought for a moment. “That’s… a lot.”

Wait. Did she say?

“Wait, the Crafts?”

Lux glanced up from her phone. “Yeah? I can cancel if you want.”

Wil nodded. “Yeah, my parents will understand, Toms.”

Tommy shook his head quickly. “No, lunch is still hours away! I can meet with them!”

Lux hesitated. “Tommy… the drugs might be out of your system, but you still need to take it slow.”

Tommy gave her his best puppy eyes. “Please, Lux?”

Tubbo chimed in from where he was still laying on Tommy’s bed. “Let him go! Then we can go to Purpled’s thing.”

Ranboo nodded. “Yeah, I trust Tommy. If he says he’s okay, he’s probably fine.”

Tommy nodded. “See? I’m very trustworthy.”

Lux still looked unsure, but they nodded. “Fine. It’s at twelve, so hopefully you’ll feel better by then.”

A quick glance at the clock told Tommy it was only 8 am. “I’m sure I will.”

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

He didn’t.

Tommy was in the car on the way to lunch with a pounding headache. He had half a mind to tell Lux to just call the whole thing off, but that would mean that he’d have to miss the opportunity to meet not only his biggest idol and the only man ever (Phil(za) Craft) but also the chance to officially meet Wil and Techno’s parents.

Being excited about the lunch, despite the awful headache, Tommy didn’t notice they had arrived until the driver cleared their throat. “Mr. Simons?”

Tommy glanced up to see they had arrived at the restaurant. Some Italian place that Grian had mentioned being good. Apparently it had an extremely long wait list though, so Tommy was shocked they had managed to get a table so last minute. 

Tommy thanked his driver and got out of the car, heading into the restaurant. The hostess greeted him as he walked in. 

“Hello, Welcome in! Do you have a reservation with us today?”

Tommy smiled at her. “I’m actually meeting some people for lunch… the Craft family?”

The hostess gasped. “Oh, of course! Right this way, Mr. Craft!”

Tommy opened his mouth to correct her, but didn’t get a chance before he was whisked off to a private room. “Mr and Mrs Craft? Tommy has arrived.”

Tommy walked into the room and saw the Craft family sitting at a table. Phil smiled and turned to Tommy. “Hi, mate. Why don’t you come sit down and check the menu?”

Tommy nodded and sat down. The rest of the staff seemed to take that as their cue to leave, all rushing out except for one who stayed, presumably to take orders. After checking over the menu, Tommy eventually ordered a margarita pizza and a coke. He had been hesitant ordering something so casual at a fancy restaurant, but Phil and Kristen had insisted when they saw Tommy hesitating. 

“Get whatever you want, sunshine. We want you to feel comfortable.”

Tommy blushed at the nickname, sending a glare towards Wilbur. Of course his silly little nickname had caught on this quickly. 

(It didn’t make him feel good at all, shut up.)

After a few minutes of easy conversation, their food arrived. Tommy stared at the pizza in front of him. 

“You alright, mate? Did you want something else?”

Tommy shook his head. “It just looks too pretty to eat.”

Wilbur laughed. “I can help you with that!” He reached over and stole a piece from Tommy’s plate. 

“Wha– Hey!”

Wilbur laughed. “Now it’s ruined. Your welcome.”

“*You’re”

Wil and Tommy paused their bickering to stare at Techno. “Did you just. Correct my spelling while we’re speaking out loud?”

Techno shrugged. “I’m a man of many talents.”

Wilbur sputtered. “That’s not– What?”

Phil sighed as Kristen chuckled under her breath. “Boys, play nice.”

Wil turned towards Phil. “But Daaaad.”

Phil huffed. “But nothing. We are having a nice family outing, I don’t need your antics ruining it. Techno, stop correcting Wilbur’s Spelling. Wil, stop bullying Tommy. Tommy, just eat the fucking pizza.”

Tommy laughed, electing to ignore the fact that Phil had accidently called it a ‘family outing’. Instead, he started eating, bickering back and forth with Wil, talking about Greek mythology with Techno, and talking about school and his interests with Phil and Kristen. It felt… nice. Easy, to talk to them. His own parents very rarely cared about his life, so it was a welcome change to talk to adults that actually cared. 

He noticed the way that Phil and Kristen looked at him with possessive eyes whenever they thought he wasn’t looking, the way that it didn’t always feel like a joke when Wil and Techno called him their ‘little brother’. 

He noticed the way that he felt at more home at a table of strangers than he’d ever felt at home. 

He noticed the way that the staff called him “Mr. Craft” as he left, though he never corrected them.

He noticed the way that Phil and Kristen called him ‘son’ as he left.

But he ignored it all. After all, he was probably just imagining it.

(Who would want him?)

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Tommy, honey, I don’t think Phil was joking.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“So? How’d it go?”

“Mate…”

“...?”

“...He’s just so perfect.”

“I’m glad. Now, about press day, I was thinking–”

“He called Wil and Techno his brothers.”

“Already? Well, that’s good news, isn’t it?”

“I wish he would call me Dad.”

“It’ll be  a while I think. Just be patient. He’s a bit oblivious.”

“But… He’s so perfect.”

“You said that about Techno too, and he still rarely calls you Dad.”

“I know… I just…”

“Hm?”

“I wish we’d done this earlier.”

“His parents had an iron grip earlier. They would’ve been with him 24/7.”

“Why don’t you just set Yuki on them or something?”

“Great idea, let’s send the psychopath to kill his parents! That won’t leave any lasting trauma!”

“It was just an idea.”

“There were ‘just’ three casualties last time we asked her for a favor. Forgive me if I’m not comfortable joking about it.”

“That’s fine, Mate. I’m sorry.”

“...Cheer up, Philza! It’s press day today, time to let the world know that he’s yours .”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. Now, let’s go over the script for your interviews–”

“Hey, Lux?”

“Oh my god. What?”

“Thanks.”

“Yeah, anytime, Phil. Now, can I please finish my thought?”

“Ha, yeah, sorry mate. Go ahead.”

“Great! Now, as I was saying…”

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Hi, you’re watching ItsAlyssa! My name is Alyssa Cooper, and I’m here this evening with Thomas Simons! This is a series of interviews that are taking place due to the annual Watcher banquet this year! Thanks for being here, Thomas.”

Tommy gave her a practiced smile. Any nerves that he had before the camera began rolling were gone, replaced with a sense of confidence his manager had drilled into him.

“Thanks so much for having me on! And please, just call me Tommy.”

Alyssa grinned. “So, Tommy, this is your first year attending the Watcher banquet! How are you feeling so far?”

Tommy nodded. “Yeah, it’s definitely been an amazing experience. The entire thing still feels so surreal to me; I’m half worried that any minute now I’ll wake up back home.”

Alyssa smiled. “Well, I can assure you this is real.”

Tommy smirked. He knew his parents and manager wanted him to be professional on TV, but Tommy preferred to win the audience over with his charm. “That’s what someone in a dream would say.”

Alyssa laughed, and some of the tension in the room melted away. “Tommy, I believe that you are the first new person to be officially invited in three years! Not to mention that you are only 16 years old! Tell me, did you ever imagine getting here so young?”

Tommy smiled and shook his head. “Honestly? No. The Watcher banquet is one of the most famous and exclusive parties in the world. Only the best of the best are officially invited. I’d hoped that I might get an invite from a friend, or be invited to the Saturday Ball, but I’d never imagined getting not one, but three invitations to the banquet.”

Alyssa nodded. “You received three invitations?”

“Last I checked, yes… I might’ve fainted from surprise at the time though, so who’s to say?”

Another laugh. “Who did you end up inviting to go with you?”

Tommy thought for a moment. He didn’t know if Ranboo was comfortable being mentioned on live TV.

(He wasn’t worried about Tubbo, who had begged to take over Tommy’s interview because ‘I’m more popular with the ladies.’ Tommy told him no and reminded Tubbo that not only was he not an actor, but also, last Tommy had checked, gay and ‘married’ to Ranboo.)

“I invited my two best friends to come with me, though my parents also accompanied me for legal reasons.”

The interviewer nodded. “Tell me a bit about your friends! How long have you known them for?”

Tommy made the executive decision that Ranboo would get over it. “Oh, I’ve known them forever. I’ve been friends with Tubbo since practically birth, and met Ranboo… God, almost ten years ago at this point. They're hysterical, and I love them.”

Alyssa smiled. “They sound lovely. How did your parents react to not being your first choice?”

Tommy laughed nervously, as he always did when questioned about his parents on live TV. “Oh, they were pissed. Can I say ‘pissed’? Is that still okay?”

Alyssa laughed. “You can say pissed, Tommy.”

Tommy chuckled. “Thanks. Anyone who knows me personally will know I’m doing my best to censor myself right now, so apologies if my less-than-appropriate language ever makes an appearance.”

Alyssa shook her head with a laugh. “C’mon, Tommy, think of the children!”

Tommy blushed. “Eh, they’ll turn out fiiiine . I heard cursing as a child and look at me!”

Alyssa smiled deviously. “You’re walking a fine line there, Tommy.”

Tommy shrugged. “What can I say, I’m just too poggers.”

Alyssa looked amused, and Tommy heard a chuckle from the camera man. 

They talked for a few more minutes, mostly about his friends and career. They briefly touched on his relationship with the Crafts, but didn’t dwell on it. Eventually, the camera man made the motion to wrap it up. 

“Well, I think that’s all the time we have for today, Tommy. Any last things you wanted to say?”

Tommy nodded. “Thanks so much for your time today. Actually.” He turned and looked straight into the camera. “I just wanted to say—”

“ JUMP IN THE CADILLAC ”

Oh, someone was dying today.

Alyssa looked around confused as the music began playing over the speakers.

“ GIRL LET’S PUT SOME MILES ON IT ”

Yep. Tommy was going to legitimately murder someone. 

Tommy groaned. “TUBBO! YOU SON OF A BI— MUFFIN I SWEAR TO GOD”

Tommy gave a quick wave to the camera, shouted “bye” over his shoulder, and ran out to murder his best friend. 

“ ANYTHING YOU WANT, JUST TO PUT A SMILE ON IT”

“Um… I’m… I’m Alyssa Cooper and that was Thomas Simons, on ItsAlyssa.”

“TOMMY IT WAS A JOKE”

“YOU HAVE THREE SECONDS TO RUN”

“TOMMY”

“ONE”

“TOMMY LET’S TALK ABOUT THIS BIG MAN”

“TWO”

“TUBBO YOUR LIFE ISN’T WORTH THIS”

“THREE”

“AHHH”

“ YOU DESERVE IT BABY, YOU DESERVE IT ALL”

“Just cut to commercials.”

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Tubbo’s not going to die dw.

…but maybe…

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

[ Theme song plays, Alyssa appears, sitting across from her are Phil and Kristen Craft ]

<Alyssa Cooper>: Welcome back everyone! You’re watching ItsAlyssa! I’m Alyssa Cooper and I’m here with Phil and Kristen Craft! It’s great to have you on the show.

<Phil Craft>: Thanks so much mate. We’re happy to be here.

<A.C.>: Phil and Kristen Craft are two more attendees at the Watcher Banquet this year, though unlike our last guest, they have been attending the party for generations. How many years have you been going now?

<P.C.>: [ Laughs ] Oh, honestly I’ve lost count. I believe I began attending at the age of… 12? But my father had been going for years before.

<A.C.>: And you, Mrs. Craft?

<Kristen Craft>: Oh, I received my first invite at the age of 17. Unlike my husband, I was the first in my family to attend. [ Laughs ] I actually met Phil at one of the Watcher parties.

<A.C.>: Really? There is quite a bit of conspiracy around how you two met, especially because you married so quickly and so young.

<K.C.>: [ Laughs ] Yes, we did rush things quite a bit

<P.C.>: It was true love!

<K.C.>: Oh hush, stop encouraging the rumors. We met at that first party, and he spent the entirety of the next year attempting to ask me on a date.

<A.C.>: Did you refuse at first?

<P.C.>: No, I just never gathered the courage to do it. At the time, Kristen seemed so untouchable and powerful. Someone like me, who had inherited my fame, could never hope to be with someone like her, who received an invite at only 17.

<K.C.>: I seemed that way… At the time?

<P.C.>: She still scares me.

[ Alyssa laughs while Kristen elbows Phil ]

<A.C.>: You received your invitation quite young, how did you manage to build up so much fame in such a short amount of time?

<K.C.>: Well, back then it wasn’t nearly as big of a deal as it is now. It was a three day event, and while exclusive, you didn’t need to be as famous as you are now.

<P.C.>: She’s just too humble. Kristen was an amazing star even then! I’m surprised she didn’t get in sooner.

<K.C.>: well, all that didn’t come for free. My parents and manager often pushed me beyond my limits. They cared so much about how famous I was, that it completely ruined our relationship. I haven’t spoken to them in years. 

<A.C.>: That sounds awful. There’s nothing I hate more than parents who prioritize their child's success over their happiness. Speaking of young stars, how do you feel about Thomas Simons? I believe he might be the first person under 17 to be the first in his family to receive an invite.

<K.C.>: Oh, Tommy. I really feel for him, you know? If I had it hard back when it was easier to get in, a full year older than him, I can’t imagine what his work schedule looks like. It’s impressive, yes, but to be honest, I’m disappointed in his parents.

<A.C.>: Do you believe they overwork Tommy?

<P.C.>: I’m not going to make any public accusations, but our children, and by extension us, have grown extremely attached to Tommy. He was over at our house the other night, and his parents punished him for not going to a meeting with them at 12 am.

<K.C.>: Not to mention that they forced him to come to press day today, despite being drugged last night.

<A.C.>: I’m sorry, what?

<K.C.>: Oh did he not mention it? There was an attempted kidnapping last night, and Tommy was drugged. His manager and parents insisted that he come today, despite everything.

<A.C.>: Oh my goodness, will he be alright?

<P.C.>: The doctors say the drugs are out of his system, but he still has some symptoms. Wilbur, Techno, Kirsten, and I tried to talk him out of coming, as did his friends, but he said he shouldn’t let his parents down.

<A.C.>: Gosh, that’s awful. I can’t imagine the kind of parents that would see their child in pain and in danger, and still be more obsessed with how he looks in the public eye. Has the person been apprehended at least?

<P.C.>: Yes, thankfully. Still, we’ve grown rather close to Tommy, and seeing him struggle like this hurts.

<A.C.>: How close would you say you are with him?

<K.C.>: I want to give him the support structure that his parents clearly aren’t giving him. Honestly, I already see him as a sort of Son.

<P.C.>: Me and my wife just want what’s best for him, and it isn’t that house, or that family. He’s always welcome to stay with us, for as long as he needs. 

<K.C.>: Or forever!

[ Alyssa and Kristen laugh, Phil smiles and shakes his head ]

<P.C.>: or forever.

<A.C.>: Well, it sounds like you really care about him.

<P.C.>: We do.

<A.C.>: on the topic of your children, how are Wilbur and Techno doing? My colleague is interviewing them today, so I won’t get a chance to speak to them.

[ The interview continues for 6 minutes and 47 seconds. One minute warning is issued. ]

<A.C.>: Well, unfortunately, that’s all the time we have for today. Any closing thoughts before we head out?

<P.C.>: I think we’ve said everything we wanted to. Kristen?

<K.C.>: I suppose for all the viewers at home, believe in yourselves, but take time for yourself too. You don’t get to where we are today without taking a few minutes to enjoy what you’re doing.

<A.C.>: Thank you so much for coming on tonight, guys! I’m Alyssa Cooper, and that was Phil and Kristen Craft, on ItsAlyssa. 

<P.C.>: Thanks for having us.

<K.C.>: Bye!!

[ Screen fades to black, cut to commercials. ]

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Y’all I am losing so much motivation

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Tommy, are you sure you want to host a party? You’re still recovering.”

Tommy rolled his eyes. “I’m fine, Wil. You just worry too much. Plus, it’s hardly a party. It’s literally four people.”

Wilbur wrapped Tommy in a hug. “That’s still a lot!”

Tommy struggled in Wilbur’s grip. “Maybe for someone like you, who has no friends.”

Wilbur gasped dramatically. “Betrayed by my own baby brother.”

“Oi! I’m not a baby!”

Wil laughed and rolled his eyes. “Could’ve fooled me.”

“Oi!”

They fell into bickering for a while, until eventually Tubbo walked into the room. The couch had been pushed to the side, with air mattresses, pillows, and blankets covering every inch of the floor in the living room.

“Are you two fucking done? The food’s here.”

Tommy nodded, excited. “I’m fucking starving, Big man! What did you get?”

“Mcdonalds.”

Tommy turned and stared at Tubbo. “We’re in L.A. right now, with dozens of five star restaurants around, and you got Mcdonalds?”

Tubbo shrugged. “It’s good.”

Tommy stared for a moment longer before smiling and nodding. “I knew we were best friends for a reason.”

He ran into the kitchen with Tubbo and Wilbur laughing behind him. In the kitchen, Techno was eating fries while talking to Pearl, who had a veggie burger in front of her. Ranboo and Grian were talking a few feet away, though it looked less like talking and more like Ranboo trying to prevent Grian from getting a bottle of coke. Upon further inspection, Grian had a pack of mentos hiding behind his back. 

Tommy ran over and grabbed chicken nuggets and fries from the table. Moving around Ranboo and Grian he grabbed a can of coke from the fridge. 

“Tubbo, I love you for getting me this.”

Wil laughed and grabbed a burger. “This is all it takes to please you?”

Tommy shrugged. “I’m a simple man. The most simple man. The biggest, most simple, poggest man ever.”

Wil laughed again. “What does that even mean?”

Techno chimed in. “I think he just had a stroke.”

Tommy glared at Techno. “Fuck you Tech-no-blade. You simply aren’t pog enough to understand my genius.”

Pearl laughed. “You’re something alright.”

Tubbo laughed and high-fived Pearl. Eventually, everyone finished their food without incident (despite Grian and Tubbo’s best efforts) and they moved into the arcade. 

“Holy shit, how are you so good at this?”

“Yeah Techno, I’ve been stuck on that level forever! How did you just beat it on the first try?”

“Did you try getting good?”

Tommy smacked Techno’s arm. “Fuck you.”

Techno just laughed. 

After a few more hours in the arcade (Techno won almost every game they played) they resigned themselves to a movie marathon in the living room.

“Why don’t we just go to the theater?”

“Because fuck you that’s why.”

Tubbo sighed. “Real mature, Tommy.”

Tommy grinned over at him as he put on Moana. “Thanks, I try.”

Three movies later, Tommy fell asleep on top of Ranboo, Techno’s arm around him and Wil’s hand in his hair. Grian and Pearl were quietly bickering over what movie to watch next, while Tubbo cuddled with Henry. 

And Tommy had never felt more at home.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“He’s asleep.”

“Yeah. He falls asleep really easily.”

“I get the feeling that you don’t like me, Tubbo.”

“It’s not that.”

“Then what is it? You’re always so short with me.”

“Not funny, asshole. I just… What's your motive?”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean… I saw your parents interview. Saw Yours and Techno’s too. Tommy hasn’t yet, but I did.”

“So?”

“You called him your brother. Your parents call him their son. I just… Just don’t do that.”

“Why? You protective or something?”

“Yes! I don’t like seeing my friend’s emotions being played with like a fucking toy!”

“Wait… what?”

“Tommy really cares about you, ok? Doing all this… He’s going to think you mean it. It’ll crush him when you leave.”

“You think we’re going to leave?”

“This isn’t my first time seeing this. A famous family takes interest in Tommy. Treats him like family for all of three weeks. Just long enough for him to get used to it. Then they leave. Cut contact. It crushes him. His parents are awful, and everytime it happens, everytime he thinks he’s found people to actually call family; he loses it all in the end. And it ruins him. I’m not going to sit here and watch it happen again.”

“No, Tubbo, you’ve got it all wrong! We knew we wanted Tommy before we even met him. I— We want him to stay with us. Live with us. Not those sorry excuses for parents he has right now.”

“I hear you, Wilbur, but I’ll believe it when I see it. And if you’re lying? Craft or not I will ruin you.”

“You scare me.”

“Good.”

“...”

“I– look. Just, either help him, or leave. Don’t sit here giving him false hope. Honestly? I just want to see him happy. Legal or not, don’t abandon him. Pay off someone, call CPS, put all that fucking money to good use. Just…”

“Tubbo–”

“Just... help him.”

“...I will. I swear to you, I will.”

Chapter Text

Tommy!

Tommy again!

Grian Watcher! 

Pearl Watcher!

Luxury Watcher!

Wilbur Craft!

Techno Blade Craft!

Phil Craft!

Ranboo Beloved

Also Ranboo

Tubbo Underscore!

Chapter Text

“TUBBO, PLEASE!”

“GET BACK HERE MOTHER FUCKER!”

Tommy shot up from his sleeping bag as a crash sounded throughout the house.

“AHH WHAT THE FUCK!?”

“MERCY, PLEASE!”

“YOU LOST YOUR CHANCE FOR MERCY!”

“TUBBO, WE CAN TALK ABOUT THIS!”

“NEVER! JUSTICE FOR MICHAEL!!!”

Tommy groaned and looked around, trying to find the source of the screaming. Around the living room, pillows and blankets had been strewn everywhere. Pearl was somehow sleeping through the screaming, Wilbur was groggily stretching, and Techno was sitting in the one undisturbed corner of the room, reading. He raised one hand in greeting when he saw Tommy.

And Tubbo, Ranboo, and Grian, predictably, were nowhere to be found.  

A crash echoed from somewhere in the house.

“MY PLANTS!”

“THAT’S WHAT YOU GET!”

“I’M GOING TO ACTUALLY MURDER YOU!”

Tommy walked over to the hallway door. Opening it and peaking outside, he saw his three friends surrounded by broken pottery and dirt, what looked to be the remains of some of Tubbo’s potted plants. Ranboo brandishing a plastic pirate sword, Grian hiding behind him holding a toy lightsaber, and Tubbo…

Tommy slammed the door and face planted back onto his sleeping bag before Tubbo could use his self made ‘toy’ machine gun. Tommy could speak from personal experience that those bullets hurt and he didn’t want to be caught on the wrong end of that barrel. 

Wilbur half heartedly glanced over at him as another crash and scream came from the hallway. “Should we stop them?”

“TUBBO STOP!”

“NEVER!”

Tommy glanced at the time. 5:54. Too fucking early for this shit.

“Nah.”

Wilbur stared at him for a minute before shrugging and laying back down. 

“TUBBO THAT FUCKING HURTS!”

“PAIN IS FOR THE WE— AHH WHAT THE FUCK BOO?”

“FOR GRIAN!”

“It’s too fucking early for this.”

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Michael is a plant <3

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“C’MON TOMMY! WE’RE GONNA BE LATE!”

Tommy rolled his eyes and walked down the stairs. “Hold your fucking horses, Tubbo. We’re not gonna be late.”

Tubbo and the rest of Tommy’s friends were sitting by the door, all of them dressed and ready. 

“And maybe I wouldn’t have taken this long if I wasn’t woken up at 6 am for the third day in a row, Tubbo .”

The mess from that morning had eventually been cleaned up, though Tubbo was still mourning the loss of Michael, his favorite succulent. 

“Not my fault you sleep in so late, big man.”

Tommy rolled his eyes again. “Shut the fuck up Tubbo.”

Tubbo laughed as Techno sighed and started moving towards the door. “Why don’t we just go to brunch?”

Wilbur groaned. “Please? I can only take so much excitement in one morning.

Tommy stuck his tongue out at him (like the mature person he was), but walked out the door and over to the car, Grian and Pearl following behind him. Grian was glued to his phone, getting more and more annoyed as messages came in. 

Tommy grinned at the driver as they opened the door for him. “Thanks, Big Man. Grian get the fuck off your phone.”

Grian sighed. “I’m trying to save your life Tommy. Leave me alone.”

Pearl snatched the phone from Grian and tossed it to Ranboo, who put it in their bag. “Our favorite psychopath will still be there after brunch, Grian. Now c’mon.”

She jumped into the car after Tommy, quickly followed by Grian, Ranboo and Tubbo. Wil and Techno filed in after them. 

Grian sighed again. “The sad thing is, I don’t even know who you're talking about at this point.”

Pearl shrugged. “Take your pick, dear brother.”

Grian scowled. “You sound like Lux when you say that.”

“Guess it runs in the family. Part of me thinks you’re the adopted one.”

Tommy tuned out of the conversation as the two devolved into bickering. He stared out the window as the car drove through the city. He was dreading brunch today, dreading having to see his parents again after the last interaction. 

(“Thomas! Stop being so overdramatic and just do the fucking interview! I don’t care about some fake drugs, our reputation is on the line!”)

Still, he would have to grin and bear it. It was a major event, so it wasn’t like he would be able to avoid his—

“Hey, you ok?”

Tommy glanced away from the window and towards Wilbur. “Yeah, king. Just lost in thought I guess.”

Wil tilted his head. “Worried about the brunch? You’ve met everyone before.”

Tommy shrugged. “Just don’t want a repeat of the game.”

Grian paused in his conversation with Pearl to look over. “That won’t happen! We’ve got top notch security all around the event, cameras everywhere, and every guest and staff member attending was screened personally by my father!”

Wilbur nodded. “Plus, you’ll be with us the whole time! I’m not letting you out of my sight again!”

Techno put an arm around Tommy’s shoulders. “You’ll be fine, Theseus. Lycomedes can’t get near you today.”

Tommy chuckled at the reference, but it was hard to believe them when he knew his parents would steal him away the first chance they got. He told them as such, and Wil and Techno glanced at each other. “Lea–”

“Before you do anything rash,” Pearl interjected, “Tommy’s parents won’t be there today.”

Wil and Techno looked almost disappointed. Tommy, on the other hand, was just confused. “What do you mean?”

Pearl grinned. “They’ve been deemed a security risk.”

Tommy let out a surprised laugh. “Wish I was there when you told them! God, I wish I could see their faces.”

Tubbo laughed a bit, drawing people’s attention back to where he and Ranboo had been suspiciously quiet. Tubbo had his hands hidden behind his back, never a good sign. 

“Tubbo, buddy? Whatcha got there?”

Tubbo just laughed evilly. 

“Ran?”

Ranboo looked guilty. “He offered me immunity.”

Techno frowned. “Immunity from what, Ranboo?”

Ranboo didn’t respond. Tubbo laughed louder. 

“Ranboo?” Tommy tried. “Immunity from what?”

Tubbo glanced at Tommy. “Want to find out?”

“Wait No—”

“WHAT THE F—”

“MUHAHAHAHAHA”

“TUBBO”

“GOD, IT’S EVERYWHERE”

“TUBBO YOU PROMISED”

“I LIED MOTHERFUCKER!”

“TOBIAS UNDERSCORE, I’M GOING TO MURDER YOU”

“I SWEAR TO—”

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Hey, Tom! Welcome to— Why are you glittery?”

“Ask fucking Tubbo.”

Scott glanced over at Tubbo, who was doing his best to look innocent despite being the only one not covered in glitter. “Ah.”

Tommy rolled his eyes. “Is there a place I can clean up really quickly?”

Scott laughed and nodded. “Yeah, there’s a powder room just through there.” He pointed Tommy to the right door. 

“Thanks, Big Man.”

Tommy walked into the small bathroom, glaring at Tubbo the entire way. Once he entered the bathroom, he locked the door behind him and glanced down at his clothes to assess the damage. He brushed the glitter off of his suit pretty easily, though his face took some more work. Ten minutes later, he figured it was as good as it was going to get. Tommy almost wished his parents were here to see him like this. The looks on their faces would have been worth the yelling. 

Tommy brushed off his suit one last time before walking out of the bathroom. (powder room. Whatever. Fucking rich people.) He walked over to where Tubbo was talking to Drista. Drista broke down laughing once Tommy got close enough for her to see the glitter on his suit. 

“Your— Ha— Oh my God— That’s fuckin— haha—you—uh—you–god ha—missed a spot there—”

She quickly devolved into giggles, almost falling down from how hard she was laughing. Tommy stared at her, unamused. 

“Yes, very funny, Dris.”

Drista didn’t respond, too busy laughing.

Tommy glared at her. “I hope you know this is all your fault. This has your fingerprints all over it.”

Drista finally calmed down enough to respond. “The glitter queen never reveals her secrets.”

“The glitter queen needs to go jump off a brid— Oh hi Lux!”

Lux smiled down at Tommy. “Hi, Tommy. You’re… sparkly.”

Tommy groaned. “Don’t fucking remind me. This is after 15 minutes of trying to get it off.”

Lux winced in sympathy. “Yeah, I feel that. Anyway, food’s out. You want anything?”

Tommy shrugged. “I’ll walk over and take a look. What is there?”

“Uhh… eggs, waffles, pancakes, fruit… I don’t know, typical brunch stuff?”

Tommy grinned. “Wow, Lux. You have such a way with words.”

Lux elbowed him. “Shut up, Tom.”

They walked over to the food, where Tommy grabbed a piece of watermelon. Wilbur walked over and leaned dramatically on his head. 

“Get off me, bitch.”

“But Toooom.”

“Nope.” Tommy reached up and shoved Wilbur off of his head. Wil just whined.

“Tommyyyy I thought you loved meee.”

Tommy scoffed. “Think again.”

Lux snickered a little. Tommy turned and glared at her. “What’s so funny?”

She shook their head. “Nothing, you’re just adorable when you’re mad.”

Wil nodded. “Isn’t he!”

Tommy sighed. “I hate everyone.”

Tubbo (where had he come from?) jumped in. “except me, right?”

“ Especially you.”

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“TOMMY!!”

Tommy glanced up from where he had sat down to talk to Gem and Mumbo. “What is it, Tubbo?”

“Tommy, disaster has struck.”

“What do you mean, Bo? And keep your voice down, there are tons of people here.”

Tubbo flopped down next to Tommy on the couch. “Tommy, I've been betrayed. BETRAYED. It’s terrible. You should give me that coffee to help me cope.”

“What the fuck? No?” Tommy moved his cup of coffee farther away from where Tubbo was.

“Fuck you, Tom. Fake friend.”

“Deal with it, Tubso.”

“No.”

Tommy sighed, not sure he wanted to know why Tubbo was so upset. Knowing him, he’d been trying to prank someone and failed. Still, because he was such a good friend, Tommy asked, “What happened, anyway?”

Tubbo shot back up to his feet, clearly waiting for that question. God that kid had so much energy. It made Tommy slightly nervous. “Tommy, I’ve been betrayed. Backstabbed. Bamboozled. Beguiled.”

“What does that even mean?”

“I don’t know, but it’s happened.”

“It means to charm someone in a deceptive way.”

Tommy turned to stare at Mumbo, who smiled sheepishly. “English major.”

Tommy nodded slowly and turned back to Tubbo. “Alright, Tubs. What happened.”

Tubbo took a deep breath. “So I was just minding my own business, right? Not doing anything risky or illegal.”

Because that was believable. “Uh huh. Sure.”

Tubbo waved him off. “Anyway, I was just sitting there, when Dris came up with this amazing idea for a prank on Scar and Grian, because they’d run off somewhere.”

Tommy wasn’t sure he liked where this was going. “Ok…?”

“Yeah, so Dris and I run over to where Scar and G are hanging out, and put just a little glitter on G's hair. No harm, no foul, right? But then!”

“But then?”

“But then Lux comes over talking to uhh… god what was his name… Dream? Something like that. And Drista is all like ‘oh that’s my cousin or brother or something’ and so I tell her we should put glitter in his hair because he looked like an asshole—”

“He is.”

“And she says yes and so we go to put glitter in his hair but we accidentally put too much and he noticed so we tried to run away but we ran straight into this guy in a purple suit and turns out he’s like… the head of the Watcher family…”

“WHAT?”

“Let me finish! So we ran into him and spilled glitter all over him and then Dris ran off and left me there to deal with it! Can you fucking believe her?”

Tommy stared at Tubbo. Was he serious? “Tubbo… you… just… covered EVANDER WATCHER in glitter?!?”

Tubbo nodded as if it was just a small inconvenience. “Yeah. Oh and he wanted to talk to you! That’s why I came over.”

Tommy continued to gape at Tubbo, wondering if his best friend was kidding or not. “What the fuck?”

Tubbo nodded. “Yep. Oh, hey! Coffee!” He ran off to wherever the coffee was. 

“Wait Tubbo! …Fuck.”

Gem laughed, clearly having tried to conceal it. Tommy glared at her. “Sorry, sorry. I just— Ha!”

Tommy rolled his eyes and waved at Raynor as he walked over. “Hey, Ray. What’s up?” 

Raynor looked a bit conflicted, but eventually smiled at Tommy. “Hey, Tommy. My— uh… My uncle is looking for you? He sent Tubbo to get you?”

That wasn’t a joke? Oh shit. “Uh… yeah, big man. Lead the way.”

They walked through the rest of the people who were getting food, Ray ignoring anyone who tried to talk to them. Eventually, they reached a man in a purple suit (who was notably covered in glitter) talking to some large corporation owners. Tommy recognised Mr. Beast, founder and owner of BeastGames, among some of the other famous faces. 

Raynor cleared his throat. “Uncle.”

The man in the purple suit (Evander Watcher, Tommy’s mind filled in) turned around and smiled. “ Raynor .” He cleared his throat. “Sorry, Hi, Raynor. And you must be Thomas.”

“Tommy, Sir.”

Mr. Watcher laughed. “Please, drop the formalities, I’ve had enough of that for today. Walk with me.”

In an almost daze, Tommy turned to follow. 

“So, Tommy, what do you think about the Crafts?”

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Boss level unlocked. Unfortunately, I have no motivation for this scene, so you can just imagine the conversation for yourself :) (I like writing I swear)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“So…?”

“What?”

“You talked to Tommy?”

“Yes, he’s a respectable young man. We had a pleasant conversation.”

“...And?”

“And what , Xelqua?”

“What did you think?”

“I just told you what I thought.”

“I… but… what’s your verdict? Everyone’s waiting for it!”

“Xelq, I got this. You go find Tubs.”

“Lux I… fine. Bye, Dad.”

“Goodbye, Grian.”

“...”

“Luxury.”

“Father.”

“...”

“Is there a reason you’re here today?”

“No reason in particular.”

“...”

“Luxury, I’m extremely busy. If you have a reason for being in my office right now, please say it.”

“...”

“Diamond…”

“Fine. I was wondering if you were really going to let them take him.”

“Let them— yes, Luxury. I was planning on it. He’s already promised to them.”

“Your word is law, father. You could take it back.”

“Is that why you and the twins are so worried? You think I’m a man who goes back on his word?”

“I… No. I just… want what’s best for him.”

“...You care about him.”

“Obviously.”

“...Come here, Diamond.”

“Daaaad I’m too old for this.”

“You’re never going to be too old for this.”

“I’m not a dog, Dad.”

“That doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy having your head pat.”

“Your way of showing affection is so strange. Most parents just give their kids hugs or something.”

“Head pats are my way of saying I love you.”

“I know, Dad.”

“...”

“Do you think the Crafts are good for him?”

“I do.”

“...Ok. I trust you.”

“Do you?”

“Do I what?”

“Think they’re good for him?”

“Yes. I just… I’m worried. About Yuki. About how they’ll handle it.”

“I’ll help them handle it. There won’t be any mess for you to worry about.”

“Thanks, Dad.”

“Anything for you, Diamond.”

“...”

“Ok stop with the head pats I’m fine.”

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Head pats <3 <3. He’s just trying his best :) 

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Tommy? Are you almost ready?”

Tommy glanced up from where he had been buried in his closet (please don’t make a joke about that) and saw Tubbo standing in the doorway of his room.

“Uh… yeah. Almost.”

Tubbo nodded and walked the rest of the way into Tommy’s room, flopping down on his bed. Tommy rolled his eyes. “Tubs? Whatcha doing?”

Tubbo sighed. “I’m booooored.”

Tommy threw a pillow at his head. “Well that’s not my problem. Go find someone else to bother.”

“Who? Ran is busy packing and everyone else left to pack at home.”

“Go bother Boob boy then.”

Tubbo stared at him. “If I step one foot in there I will not leave until I have given Ranboo advice on every piece of clothing in his closet.”

Tommy laughed. There was a reason he himself had been avoiding Ranboo’s room. “Fair enough, big man. You all packed?”

Tubbo nodded. “Yeah, it was pretty quick since you added that stupid ‘no weapons’ rule.”

“We’re going on a plane, Tubso.”

“A private plane!”

Tommy rolled his eyes. “Safety rules still apply.”

Tubbo groaned and threw a pillow back at Tommy. “Buzzkill.”

Tommy rolled his eyes and elected to ignore Tubbo for the rest of the time. Tommy folded the last shirt and put it into his suitcase. “Alright, Tubbo. Let’s go.”

Tubbo grinned. “Fucking finally! Now let’s go grab Ranboo from his room!”

Tommy sighed and resigned himself to sit on the floor of Ranboo’s room for the next two hours.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I really enjoyed writing group chat shenanigans so I made a part two :) 

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Problem Children

Luxury Brands , Pesky Bird , Blood God , and 22 others

12:06 pm

            Will-I-Am: hey

            Will-I-Am: Lux

           Will-I-Am: lux

           Will-I-Am: Lix

           Luxury Brands: What

           Will-I-Am: Lucx

           Luxury Brands: bitch what

           Luxury Brands: What the fuck do you want

           Will-I-Am: where are you

           Luxury Brands: @ airprot

           Luxury Brands: why

           Will-I-Am: oh cool

           Will-I-Am: is tommy with you

           Luxury Brands: no?

            Luxury Brands: just fucking ask him

            Luxury Brands: he’s on this chat

            Will-I-Am: oh shit

            Will-I-Am: yeah

            Luxury Brands: Dumbass

            Will-I-Am: Tommy

           Will-I-Am: Tomyy

           Raccooninnit: What bitch

           Raccooninnit: Im in the car

           Will-I-Am: ETA?:

            Raccooninnit: Idfk

           Ranbob: 32 minutes! :) 

           Nuclear Bee Boy: No

           Nuclear Bee Boy: 29 miunutes

           Ranbob: oh

            Nuclear Bee Boy: yeah bitech

            Raccooninnit: ok so 29 min I guess

           Will-I-Am: thx tubbo!

           Blood God: Wil phil wants to know if you packed his book

           Blood God: on accident

            Blood God: wait shit wrong chat

           Pearlescentmoon: no wait

            Pearlescentmoon: Don’t leave

            Will-I-Am: I don’t have it

           Pearlescentmoon: stay

           Blood God: did you check

            Will-I-Am: no why?

            Blood God: bruh

           Pesky Bird: lux

            Luxury Brands: what

           Pesky Bird: has anyone told people the plan yet?

           Luxury Brands: no not yet

           Luxury Brands: waiting for everyone

           Pesky Bird: wait where is everyone right now

           Pesky Bird: is everyone coming?

           Ranbob: Tommy, Tubbo and I are coming

           Raccooninnit: Ran your name is so boring

           Raccooninnit: “Ranbob”

           Raccooninnit: so unoriginal

12:13

“Raccooninnit” changed “Ranbob’s” name to “Memory Boy”

            Memory boy: oh

           Memory boy: thanks

           Raccooninnit: your welcome <3

            Nuclear Bee Boy: wiat i fon;t get it

            Raccooninnit: I’ll tell you later Tubso

           Nuclear Bee Boy: ok thx tom your the best

           Blood God: a full correctly spelled sentence?

           Blood God: from Tubbo?

            Blood God: am I dreaming?

           Nuclear Bee Boy: fuck off techni I have dislecia. 

            Raccooninnit: yeah techno fcuk off

           Blood God: bruh

           Pesky Bird: anyway

           Pesky Bird: moving on

            Blood God: Wil and I are coming

            Will-I-Am: I’m coming!!

            Will-I-Am: oh wait

           Will-I-Am: fuck you techno

           Blood God: bruhhh

           Blood God: what is this

           Blood God: what did I even do?

            Will-I-Am: exist

            Blood God: heh?

           Jellie Cats: I;m coming!

           Pesky Bird: I know you’re coming scar you’re right next to me

           Jellie Cats: oh yeah right

            Ray of sunshine: omw

           Ray of sunshine: eta 5 min

            Luxury Brands: hurry up

           Pearlescentmoon: hurry up

           Ray of sunshine: no fuck you

            Ray of sunshine: I hate this family

            Mustache man: I’m coming with Scott, Tim, martyn , Cleo, and Gem

            Corrupt Listener: fuck you for capitalizing everyone elses name

            Scottish Unicorn: we’re just better

            Scottish Unicorn: get used to it martyn

            Geminislay: yeah martyn

            Geminislay: get over it

           Zombiecleo: petition to not capitalize martyn’s name for the rest of the conversation

            Scottish Unicorn: seconded

            Corrupt Listener: No

            Canary: agreed

           Jellie Cats: 100% on bord

            Mustache man: sure why not

           Geminislay: yes ofc

            Raccooninnit: sure sounds fun

            Corrupt Listener: No fuck you

            Nuclear Bee Boy: why nor I love chaos

            Pesky Bird: YES

            Pesky Bird: I LOVE THIS

            Pearlescentmoon: omg yes

            Luxury Brands: yall are so mean

            Luxury Brands: but yeah I’ll do it

            Luxury Brands: sorry not sorry martyn

           Corrupt Listener: i honestly hate all of you

            Scottish Unicorn: <3

            Corrupt Listener: fuck you scott

            Scottish Unicorn: </3

            Canary: look what you’ve done

            Canary: you broke his heart

            Corrupt Listener: fuck you too tim

            Pesky Bird: ok

            Pesky Bird: moving on

            Pesky Bird: what about everyon e else

            Pesky Bird: ETAs?

           Cheese And Quackers: On our way!

            Cheese And Quackers: like 30 more minutes

            Time boy: sorry we’re running late

            Time boy: we were doing stuff

            Pandas: I’m stuff

            Cheese And Quackers: Sapnap pushed me down the fucking stairs

            Will-I-Am: and here we see the two types of boyfriends

            Cheese And Quackers: stfu Will-I-Am

            Cheese And Quackers: your just jealous because youre forever alone

            Will-I-Am: fuck you

            Mercenary: purpled and I are on our way

            Chaos Goddess: and me! I’m there too!

            Baby Mercenary: unfortunately

            Chaos Goddess: you say  that and then get surprised when your car is full  of glitter

            Baby Mercenary: Is that a threat?

            Chaos Goddess: yes.

            Baby Mercenary: oh

            Baby Mercenary: well shit

            Mercenary: no glitter in my car

            Chaos Goddess: :(

            Nuclear Bee Boy: don’t worrt drista. Ill help yiu fet revernge

           Chaos Goddess: Thanks Tubso

            Chaos Goddess: that’s so sweet

            Baby Mercenary: and suddenly I’m scared for my life

            Chaos Goddess: yeah

            Chaos Goddess: you should be

           Will-I-Am: my son

           Will-I-Am: where are you

           Furry Fox Boy: on my way hold your fucking horses

           Will-I-Am: :0

           Will-I-Am: you would talk to your father like that??!

           Furry Fox Boy: YoU’Re nOT mY dAD

           Will-I-Am: WHAT?

           Will-I-Am: YOU’RE ADOPTED

           Will-I-Am: WHY DIDN’T ANYONE TELL ME?

           Blood God: I’m disowning you

           Will-I-Am: omg

            Pink Anarchy: I’m like 10 minutes out

            CaptainPuffy: same!

           Will-I-Am: so rude

           Pink Anarchy: what?

           Will-I-Am: not you niki your great

           Pink Anarchy: oh ok

           Pink Anarchy: wait Puff we’re in the same car

           Pink Anarchy: why did you text separately?

           CaptainPuffy: yeah but you didn’t tell them that

           Pink Anarchy: we’re always togethr

           Pink Anarchy: i think he assumed

            Pesky Bird: yeah i assumed.

           CaptainPuffy: oh ok thanks G!

           Pesky Bird: np

           Pesky Bird: ok Sam’s not coming and taurtis is also busy

           Pesky Bird: I think that’s everyone.

            Pearlescentmoon: thank fuck

            Pearlescentmoon: I can’r deal with that psycho today

           Pesky Bird: ikr

           Pesky Bird: so here’s the plan

            Chaos Goddess: no one cares about the plan

            Chaos Goddess: leave us in suspense

           Pesky Bird: ok fuck you too I guess

            Nuclear Bee Boy: wiat really qucki question i had

            Nuclear Bee Boy: does lux uses thay ir she pronouns

           Pesky Bird: yes.

            Nuclear Bee Boy: oh

            Nuclear Bee Boy: ok

           CaptainPuffy: hey yall quick question

           CaptainPuffy: I have a big bag of m&ms but niki and I don’t want them anymore

           CaptainPuffy: does anyone want them?

           Memory boy: Me

           Memory boy: Me

           Memory boy: Me

           Memory boy: Me

           Memory boy: Please

           Memory boy: Please Puffy

           Memory boy: please

           CaptainPuffy: Ofc Ran!

           CaptainPuffy: I’ll give them to you at the airport

           Memory boy: omg

           Memory boy: thx so much

           Memory boy: your the best

           Blood God: *you’re

             CaptainPuffy: *you’re

            Mustache man: *you’re

             Raccooninnit: fuck all of you on ranboo’s behalf 

             Raccooninnit: he’s to nice to say it

           Blood God: *too

             CaptainPuffy: *too

            Mustache man: *too

            Time boy: *too

            Scottish Unicorn: *too

             Raccooninnit: well now just fuck off in general

            Nuclear Bee Boy: fuck you on timmy’d behslf

             Raccooninnit: aw thx tubs

             Raccooninnit: ok we’re almost there so bye

           Pesky Bird: ok bye bench trio!

            Scottish Unicorn: bye!

           Blood God: goodbye

             CaptainPuffy: byee!

            Luxury Brands: what did I miss?

            Luxury Brands: oh shit a lot i guess

            Luxury Brands: bye bench bois

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I might be dragging out the whole group chat thing but honestly idgaf because it gives me motivation

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

*Phone ringing*

“...”

“Are you going to take that?”

“I was hoping not to.”

“...”

*Ring*

“...”

*Ring* 

“...”

“You should probably—”

“Yeah I’m on it.”

“...”

“Hey it’s Grian.”

“...”

“Nope.”

*call ends*

“...”

*phone ringing*

*phone ringing*

“You should—”

“I know! I’m getting it.”

“...”

“Hi. Yuki.”

“...”

“No, I don’t know where Sam is.”

“...”

“Well he’s not with me.”

“...”

“I’m not lying to yo—”

“...”

“Yuki can you shut up and listen for one fucking second?”

“...”

“Of course you can’t…”

“...”

“Nothing.”

“...”

“Uh huh.”

“...”

“Yep.”

“...”

“Well fuck you too I guess.”

“...”

“I know.”

“...GET A FU—... I W— KIL—... U!!...”

“Can you stop screaming in my ear, please?”

“...FU—... H— E… SO FUC—... S—M… GOIN—...”

“Ok, so I’m just gonna…”

“I FUCK—NG HA—E— ...GRIAN YOU STOLE SAM—... —OM ME I’M—... TO—...”

“...hang up now…”

“... —ILL YO—... BODY LE—... IDENTIF—!...”

“Cool, great talk.”

*Call ends*

“Well that sounded like it went well.”

“Fuck off.”

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Tómas! So glad you could make it!”

Tommy smiled before getting crushed in a hug from Quackity. “Hey, Big Q! How’s it going?”

Quackity smiled and pulled away, Karl immediately slipping back under his arm. “Oh, you know. Excited for the trip, you know? You ever skied before?”

Tommy nodded. “Used to go every winter before acting got in the way. I’m not a great skier, but I’m decent at snowboarding. Ranboo here is amazing though.”

Ranboo blushed and looked at the ground. “C’mon Tommy, I’m not that good.”

Tommy scoffed. “You almost went to the olympics for snowboarding, but didn’t because it ‘conflicted with midterms.’”

Sapnap walked over and grinned at Ranboo. “Woah, really? I’m not too bad at tricks myself, we should go out together!”

Quackity scowled. “Watch that wording, Sap. I already have to share you with Karl, I’m not keen on sharing you with Ran too.”

Karl laughed while Sapnap turned a deep red. “I– Uh. You know what I meant.”

Tubbo jumped in and elbowed Sapnap. “I hope so, because he’s all mine.”

Sapnap put his hands up in a surrendering gesture. “My bad, man.”

Tommy smiled and followed the three finances over to where the rest of the group was waiting. So far, Grian, Pearl, Scar, and Lux were waiting with Ray, Puffy, Niki, and the Craft twins. Tommy could also see Mumbo’s group walking over, Martyn (sorry, martyn) was still scowling from the jokes he’d been subjected to over text. 

Grian looked up as they walked over, seeming relieved. 

“Oh my goodness, thank god. These two have been pestering me for the last half hour about the rooming arrangement.” He gestured over to Lux and Wilbur.

Tommy frowned. “Doesn’t Lux know? I thought they planned most of these things?”

Grian shook his head. “Naw, Ray and I planned this one. Lux would just put all the people she thinks would be cute as a couple together.” 

Lux glanced over, looking offended. “Fuck you! I’ll have you know that I’m an expert matchmaker!”

Grian just rolled his eyes. “Yeah. Sure. Anyway, we try to keep families together for the most part. It’s not just our friend group, it’s anyone who wants to come. I know Wil and Tech’s parents are coming, and so are Punz and Purpled’s moms. I was just in charge of creating rooms for our friends. My dad handled the rest.”

Tommy nodded, trying to at least pretend to understand half the words coming out of Grian’s mouth. Tubbo grabbed his attention before he could respond, pulling him into an argument about paint colors with Karl. 

“I’m telling you, the more colorful, the better!”

“Not at all! You need neutral tones! Something that feels homey!”

“Both of you are idiots. You should have an even mix. Accent walls and all that shit.”

“Oh fuck off.”

“No one asked your opinion Sapnap.”

“Well fuck you too I guess Karl. Hey Quackity! Guess you don’t have to share me with Karl anymore!”

“Oh fuck yeah.”

“Wait no I’m sorry.”

“Too late, bitch.”

“Don’t call Karl a bitch!”

They were interrupted from their (very important) conversation by Grian’s phone ringing. Everyone in the group turned to stare at him as his phone went off. Eventually, Puffy spoke up. “Hey, G? Are you going to answer that?”

Grian looked down at his phone for half a second before pressing decline and putting it back in his pocket. It immediately began ringing again. Grian continued to ignore it. 

“Grian? You gonna get that?” Tubbo asked.

Grian smiled at Tubbo. “No.”

Grian turned back to talk to Lux, who seemed unbothered by the whole ordeal. Everyone stared at them for another beat before Tommy shrugged and turned to Wilbur. “Have you seen Moana?”

Wilbur let out a surprised laugh. “What?”

“You heard me, bitch.”

Puffy laughed, and Ranboo walked over to her.

“Ran? What’s up?”

“M&Ms please.”

Puffy sighed and handed Ranboo a comically large bag of M&Ms. Tubbo immediately stared at it. “Hey, Ran?”

“Yeah? OH SHIT.”

“Guys, not in the airport, please.”

“Fight! Fight! Fight!”

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight! 

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Hey Tom.”

“Tom”

“Tommy.”

Tommy groaned and turned his music up louder, attempting to drown out the annoying bitch next to him.

“Tommy”

“Tommy”

“Tommy.”

Finally, Tommy took out his airpods and glared at Wilbur. “What, bitch?”

Wil grinned. “I’m bored.”

Tommy shrugged. “And that is my problem, how? There are twenty other people on this plane. Go bother one of them.”

Wil full on pouted. “But none of them are my precious little brother.”

Tommy frowned. “One of them is literally your twin. Also we’re not brothers.”

“But–”

Tommy put his airpods back in. “Nope. Better luck next time, bitch boy.”

“He—”

Tommy turned on noise cancelation and tuned him out.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Tommy continued to tune Wilbur out for the rest of the 2 and a half hour flight.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Welcome to Deer Valley!”

Tommy glanced around at the lavish hotel. “Woah, big man. You’ve really outdone yourself here. How much did all this cost?”

Grian laughed a bit. “No, Toms, we own the hotel.”

Tommy stopped and turned to face Grian. “...why am I even surprised anymore.”

Grian shrugged and looked around. All around the hotel lobby people were talking, checking in, and heading to the elevators. Everyone in the lobby had been at the banquet. Eventually, Lux returned from where Ray and them were talking to some hotel staff.

“Alright, G. Let’s hear the rooms.”

Grian nodded and pulled up a list on his phone. “Ok, long list so bear with me. Room 200 is Sapnap, Big Q and Karl.”

The three fiances grinned and collected their room key.

“Next we’ve got… Scott, you’re with Jimmy. That’s room 201.”

Scott grinned at Jimmy. “Awesome!”

“Moving on!” Grian cut him off. “In room 202, we’ve got Martyn and Mumbo, room 203 is Scar and me. Then, in room 204 we have Pearl and Gem.”

“Hell yeah!” Pearl looked ecstatic as she collected the room keys.

“Room 205… that’s… Punz and Fundy…? Yeah I guess that’s right.”

Punz and Fundy looked at each other before shrugging and collecting their keys.”

“206 is Niki and Puffy, 207 is Lux and Cleo. Ray, you're with your sisters in 219?”

Ray nodded his confirmation.

“Great. So that leaves us with… room 208 and 209. It’s technically two rooms combined into a family suite. That’s for all the remaining minors, so… Tommy, Tubbo, Ranboo, Purpled, and Drista.”

Tommy grinned, happy with this arrangement. Purpled on the other hand, looked devastated. “Grian. You can’t seriously be leaving me with her .”

Drista sighed. “As much as I would love that, my parents would freak if they found out I was rooming with boys.”

Lux turned to stare at her. “Even though…?”

Drista nodded. “Yep. Can I room with Cleo and Lux?”

Grian glanced down at his list and then shrugged. “Sure, why not. Checking the info there’s enough space. Ok, so Dris is in 207, and the boys are in 208 and 209.”

Will cleared his throat from the edge of the circle around Grian. “You forgetting something, Grian?”

Grian sighed. “You and Tech are rooming together in 228, the room next to your parents. Same as always.”

Wil gawked at Grian. “You can’t be serious?”

Grian rolled his eyes. “It’s been like this every year, Wil. Why are you so surprised now?”

Wil sputtered for a bit before huffing and crossing his arms. He looked like a toddler. Tommy honestly found it hilarious. 

Grian handed Tommy a set of room keys. “Alright, y’all. Go unpack and I’ll see you at dinner.”

Tommy turned to grin at his new roommates. “Let’s go unpack, gentleman. This is going to be fucking awesome.”

“Language!”

“Shut up, Mumbo.”

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The second they got into the hotel room, Tommy flopped dramatically onto the bed he’d already claimed, staring at the ceiling like it had personally offended him. “I’m not moving.”

“You literally just told me you would help unpack,” Tubbo called from the bathroom, where he had apparently decided to spread his toiletries across every available surface.

“I lied.”

“How are you already falling asleep?” Purpled asked, already having put his clothes away. 

Tommy sat up with a frown. “You are alarmingly efficient. It’s actually terrifying.”

Purpled shrugged. “My parents are neat freaks.”

Tommy nodded and turned to where Ranboo was struggling to untangle his headphone cords. Tommy laughed as Ranboo muttered curses at the mess of cords. “Should’ve packed wireless.”

“Shut up,” Ranboo said, biting his lip as he somehow managed to tangle the cords further.

Tommy groaned and rolled off the bed, finally dragging himself to his suitcase and unzipping it with a tragic sigh. “What’s the dress code for this thing again? Same as the banquet, right?”

“Yeah I think so,” Ranboo agreed, still fighting with the knot. 

Purpled shrugged while taking out his suit. “Just look nice. Don’t wear like… Vans or something.”

Tommy pouted. “I will wear Vans. And everyone will admire me for it.”

Tubbo nodded solemnly. “He’s got a point. Vans are versatile.”

“They’re not dinner banquet versatile.”

“Watch me.”

Tommy yanked out his suit with only minor creasing and threw it onto the bed. It was a navy blue, with a black tie to go with it.

Ranboo finally gave up and chucked the cords into his suitcase, standing up to stretch. “Alright. Mind if I shower first?”

“No!” Tubbo shouted, leaping across the room in a blur of motion and slamming the bathroom door shut. “Too slow, bitch!”

Ranboo just stared at the closed door. “I was trying to be polite.”

“You gotta be cutthroat,” Tommy said, changing into his suit. “This is war.”

Purpled was buttoning up his shirt perfectly, tie already in hand. “I swear to god, this is almost worse than rooming with Drista.”

Tommy frowned at him. “How dare you! This is the poggest room ever! Best room assignment in history.”

“I’m asking Grian to switch rooms.”

A few minutes later, Tubbo emerged from the bathroom in a swirl of steam and chaos.

“Alright! It’s all yours, losers!”

Ranboo sighed as he grabbed his suit. “I guess chivalry is dead.” He gave them all a mock salute before disappearing into the bathroom. 

Tommy returned to buttoning up his suit, his tie wrapped around his forehead like a bandana. “You look like a music video extra,” Purpled muttered.

“Thank you.”

“That wasn’t a compliment.”

“Still taking it as one.”

Eventually, the chaos settled into a loose rhythm: Tommy fixed his tie with help from Purpled, Ranboo managed to not spend an hour in the shower, and Tubbo had managed to not blow up the hotel room.

When they were finally dressed and ready, standing together near the suite door, there was a beat of quiet.

Tommy looked around at the three of them—Tubbo’s hair still slightly damp, Ranboo adjusting his sleeves, Purpled looking like he was already regretting coming on this trip.

“Ready, gentleman?”

Purpled sighed. “As I’ll ever be.”

Tommy grinned. “Then let’s fucking go.”

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Tommy adjusted the sleeves of his jacket for the fifth time in the last two minutes.

"You good, big man?" Tubbo whispered beside him, eyes scanning the room. 

Chandeliers glittered overhead, gold-lined walls gleamed under the light, and there were more famous people in the room than the number of nuclear weapons Tubbo has tried to make, which was a concerningly large number. 

"I hate these things," Tommy muttered, fixing his collar. "Everyone’s pretending to be polite while secretly plotting how to step on each other’s necks."

Ranboo, standing just behind them, snorted. "So like high school but with better lighting."

Tommy gave a tight grin. "Exactly."

The trio stepped further into the ballroom. A soft piano played in the background, accompanied by the hum of expensive conversations. The dinner was still in the cocktail hour phase, which meant people were standing around sipping champagne, 

gossiping behind crystal glasses. 

Tommy’s eyes immediately went to the chandeliers hanging above the table in the center of the room. Apparently, Tubbo and Grian had attempted to rig the lights to rain glitter down on the guests, just little enough that they wouldn’t notice until they left.

But then Pearl had threatened to murder both of them. Twice.

Tommy spotted Evander Watcher across the room, flanked by Lux, Ray, and a handful of security. The man looked like money. And power. And probably a Bond villain. Lux caught his eye and raised a glass in greeting, but didn’t approach. Her father said something to them, and they turned away from Tommy to answer.

“Behave,” Ranboo muttered as Tubbo started to inch toward the center of the room with mischief in his eyes.

Tubbo sighed. "It’s like no one wants a little excitement at their deathly boring five-star banquet."

“Just wait ‘til dessert,” Grian said, materializing behind them with a too-wide smile. 

“People stop caring once they’re drunk. And trust me, no one is walking out of here sober. I’ve already got the glitter bombs set up.”

“Grian, no.”

“Grian, yes.”

Tommy rubbed his temples. “You’re all going to get us blacklisted.”

“We own the place. They can’t blacklist us,” Pearl said sweetly as she approached, taking Grian by the ear and dragging him back into the crowd. "But you can be grounded."

Before Tommy could follow to witness that chaos, someone gently tapped his shoulder.

“Sweetheart!” Kristen Craft said, beaming as she pulled him into a warm hug. “We’ve been looking for you everywhere.”

“Oh,” Tommy smiled, surprised but not unhappy. “Hi, Kristen.”

Phil appeared beside her, ruffling Tommy’s hair. “Evening, mate. You look sharp.”

“Thanks, big man. Wilbur helped me pick the jacket.”

“He did good,” Phil said, then shot Wil a mock glare. “Even if he still can’t iron his own shirt.”

“It’s a lifestyle choice,” Wilbur said dramatically, appearing with a glass of sparkling cider and handing it to Tommy. “I call it ‘youthful dishevelment.’”

Techno trailed behind them, seeming out of his element in the large crowd. “You mean ‘lazy.’”

“Tomayto, tomahto.”

Kristen smiled at Tommy. “We saved you a seat, darling. You're sitting with us tonight.”

Tommy blinked. “Oh. Cool.” He didn’t bother to question it. Wil and Techno had most likely just asked them to.

They made their way toward the long banquet table, weaving between guests Tommy only half-recognized. Some nodded politely. Others whispered to their companions behind flutes of champagne. Tommy tried for a polite smile, but he was already exhausted from the brunch earlier that day. He could practically hear his parents chewing him out for not being his best self. Phil noticed his frown and gave him a reassuring smile.

Tommy slid into his seat between Kristen and Techno. Wilbur sat across from him, already starting a passionate monologue to Lux about how anteaters should be outlawed. Phil was deep in conversation with someone that might’ve been a senator. Or an actor. Or both.

Drista arrived a few minutes late, plopping herself into the open seat next to Tubbo with a dramatic sigh. "You guys started without me? Rude."

Tubbo perked up instantly. "Took you long enough, I was about to start sabotaging without you."

"Grian told me to wait so Pearl wouldn’t throw a fork at me in front of a producer."

"Smart move."

As more people took their seats, a blonde man in a green suit stepped toward Tommy from across the room. He grimaced internally, not really wanting to have to deal with that particular headache right now. Looking around, though, there wasn’t a chance for him to leave. 

“Tommy?” Dream asked, a familiar grin on his face. "We haven’t had the chance to talk since—"

“Dream,” Lux said smoothly, appearing between them like a guardian angel with sharp heels. “Sorry to interrupt, but Dad needs a word with you. Now.”

Dream blinked. “Oh. Uh, yeah. Sure.”

Tommy mouthed a thanks to Lux as they smiled politely and led him away without another word.

“Dodged a bullet,” Purpled muttered.

“Dodged a cannon,” Drista corrected.

Tommy rolled his eyes but laughed along.

Down the table, Pearl glanced at Grian. “Hey, Pesky? Any word on Yuki?”

Grian groaned. “I’m wondering if I should get a restraining order?”

Pearl laughed. “Didn’t you try that back in Highschool?”

Tommy glanced over at them. “You did? What for?”

“She tried to set the chem lab on fire!” Grian protested.

“And you helped,” Pearl said.

“What was I meant to do, get stabbed? ‘Taurtis would’ve done it’ and all that.”

Techno raised an eyebrow. “This is the same Yuki that tried to kidnap Tommy? Why’d she set the lab on fire?”

Grian nodded. “She wanted to blame it on me. Apparently, Sam was spending too much time with me and not enough with her. At that point I honestly wanted nothing to do with Sam. But she doesn’t do logic. Or boundaries. Or reality.”

Drista laughed. “She tried to run over Salex, right?”

“Yep.”

“And made a chainsaw out of lab equipment?”

“Also yep.”

Ranboo just blinked. “What the hell kind of school did you go to?”

Grian grinned. “The character-building kind.”

As everyone settled into their places, Evander Watcher finally stood at the head of the room. Instantly, the music died down and the hum of conversation faded. All eyes turned to him.

“Good evening,” he said, raising his glass. “Welcome to the first night of the annual Watcher Ski trip!” People cheered around the table. “I see many familiar faces, and a few new ones as well.”

His gaze swept across the room and lingered—just briefly—on Tommy. The hair on Tommy’s arms stood up.

“This year has brought many changes. New talent. New stories. New legacies in the making.” His voice carried easily across the hall, sharp and deliberate. “We are not just gathered here to eat or pose for the tabloids. We are here to celebrate the future. To nurture it.”

Tommy felt Wilbur’s hand brush his under the table.

Evander raised his glass higher. “To the future—and to those who will shape it.”

Everyone raised their glasses.

“To the future,” the crowd echoed.

Tommy clinked glasses with Kristen and Techno, feeling oddly warm.

“Cheers, mate,” Techno murmured.

“Cheers,” Tommy replied. 

Kristen smiled wider, eyes sparkling. “Cheers, sweetheart.”

Wilbur grinned. “To sunshine and success.”

Phil raised his glass one more time. “To our family.”

Techno frowned as Tommy put his glass down. “That includes you, Theseus.”

Tommy stared at him, confused. “I’m not—?”

“You are now, Sunshine!” Wil chimed in. “So do the damn toast.”

Tommy raised his glass slowly, clincking it against the Craft family’s glasses. 

The rest of dinner passed in a flurry of food and laughter. For once during the entire banquet, everything was calm, almost quiet

(Well. As calm as possible when Tubbo and Grian kept whispering plans to build a homemade atom bomb.)

At one point, Puffy started trading fries from her plate for gossip from Cleo. Niki challenged Ray to a lemon-shot face-off. Fundy told a joke that had Karl nearly choking on his water. Scar and Mumbo argued gently over the engineering accuracy of the banquet lights.

But through it all, Tommy felt… anchored. Safe. Even as the world whispered and watched, even as his parents loomed somewhere on the fringes of the evening, he had a family right here. One that didn’t care about what he could do for them.

Tommy grinned at his patchwork family. 

“Love you guys.”

“Love you too, Toms.”

And maybe, just for tonight, he could let himself believe that.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Tommy couldn’t tell exactly when he fell asleep. One minute he’d been watching some stupid rom-com with his friends, the next he shot up, panicked and gasping.

The room was dim. The TV still glowed faintly blue in the corner, paused on whatever movie they’d been watching. It had been dumb, and they’d mostly picked it to make fun of it. He couldn’t remember the name. He couldn’t really remember what it was about ethier.

His chest was too tight. He couldn’t breathe. Couldn’t think. Couldn’t move.

He tried to walk himself through the exercises his manager had given him back when he got panic attacks on set. Deep breath in, hold for two, deep breath out. The longer he tried to calm himself down, the worse it got. He couldn’t breathe. He couldn’t breathe. Hecouldn’tbreatheHecouldn’tbreatheHecouldn’tbreathe HE COULDN’T— 

“Tommy?”

Tubbo’s voice, soft and confused. The couch creaked as Tubbo shifted beside him.

“Tommy, hey—are you—?” Tubbo cut himself off. He was moving now. “Shit—Ranboo? Ranboo, wake up.”

A groggy sound came from the far bed. “Wha— why?”

“Something’s wrong. Tommy’s freaking out, he won’t respond. I think it’s another panic attack—can you sit with him? I’m getting Wil.”

There was a rustle of blankets, followed by a quiet curse as Ranboo tripped getting out of bed. “Okay, okay. I’m up.”

Tommy didn’t register much after that, but he felt someone crouch next to him.

“Hey, man,” Ranboo whispered. “It’s alright. You’re okay, it’s just us. They’re not here. You’re not alone.”

Another voice cut in, Tommy vaguely recognized it as Purpled’s. “What the hell is happening? Why is Tubbo running around like he set something on fire again?”

Ranboo didn’t look away from Tommy. “It’s Tommy. Panic attack, I think. Tubbo’s getting Wilbur, could you grab some water from the kitchen?”

Purpled cursed, sounding closer. “Shit. Water, yeah, I got it.” 

There were footsteps running to the kitchen and back. Tommy flinched slightly as Purpled placed the water next to him. Purpled looked heartbroken at that, but Tommy was still too out of it to comfort him.

“Do you want to drink some water?” Ranboo offered gently. “Or I can just keep talking until Tubbo gets back. I can read your history notes. Threaten you with the main causes of the French Revolution?”

Purpled snorted. “That’d give anyone a panic attack.”

Tommy made a sound that might’ve been a laugh. Ranboo lit up, and continued to joke about Tommy’s overdue homework. Tommy even managed to smile at one of the jokes.

The door opened with a click. 

“Sunshine?” A voice called softly. Tommy barely managed to glance up, seeing Tubbo lead Wilbur and Techno into the room. Wilbur rushed over immediately. “Fuck, Tommy? Are you with me? What’s wrong, sunshine? Talk to me.”

Techno dragged Wilbur a little away from Tommy. “Chill out, Wil. He’s having a panic attack. Panicking with him isn’t going to help.” Techno sat down next to Tommy, close enough to be comfortable but far enough for Tommy to feel safe.

“You’re okay, Theseus. We’re here. I’ve got you.”

Tubbo entered Tommy’s field of vision. He looked stressed. “It’s been forever since he had one of these. I can’t remember the last time it got this bad.”

“I can,” Ranboo said bitterly. 

Techno didn’t respond, too busy trying to help Tommy with his breathing. “In… out… in…”

Tommy latched onto the rhythm. Followed it like a lifeline.

At that point, Wilbur registered what Tubbo had said. “Wait, are these a common occurrence?”

Tubbo gave a tight nod. “Unfortunately.”

“WHY THE FUCK ARE THESE A COMMON OCCURANCE?”

Techno immediately shushed Wilbur. “Quiet, you’re going to scare him more.”

Eventually, slowly, the room stopped spinning. Tommy’s hands unclenched. His breathing evened out.

“…Wilby?” he whispered.

Wil smiled and rushed forward, brushing Tommy’s hair out of his face. “Yeah, Sunshine. I’m here. I’ve got you.”

Tommy sagged into Wil, letting the tension drain out of him. “Sorry,” he mumbled.

“Don’t apologize,” Ranboo said gently. “You didn’t do anything wrong.”

“I woke you up though.”

Techno sat on the arm of the couch. “Yeah, well, sleep is a social construct.”

Wil nodded. “Completely overrated. You know what’s better than sleeping?”

“Not having one?” Purpled muttered.

“Okay, fair,” Wil admitted. “But also: hanging out in our room with snacks and stupid movies.”

“You in?” Techno asked, looking at Tommy.

Tommy blinked.There was no way he was getting back to sleep anytime soon, so he nodded.

“Cool,” Tubbo said, already walking towards the door. “Also I may or may not have texted the group chat that there’s a party in Wilbur’s room.”

Wil froze. “Tubbo—”

“Too late!” Tubbo grinned and waved his phone. “Sent.”

Wil checked his phone and groaned. “You absolute menace.”

Tommy laughed a bit. He could already feel his phone buzzing from the number of texts coming in.

Purpled smirked. “I’m only going if there’s popcorn.”

Ranboo sighed. “You’re all disasters. I’m bringing Uno.”

“Uno’s a dangerous game,” Techno said gravely.

“You’re thinking of war,” Purpled corrected.

“They’re the same.”

Tommy smiled, trying to put back on his confident persona. “Well then, gentlemen, let’s go!”

Wil looked down at Tommy a little oddly. “...Yeah. Let’s go.”

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Hey Wil. What’s up?”

“I think Tommy’s parents are abusing him.”

“...”

“...”

“That’s a… big accusation.”

“I know, but hear me out! When we walked into the room he was muttering ‘I’ll be good’ under his breath.”

“Ok… we’re going to need more if you want CPS involved.”

“I… he’s good at recovering from panic attacks. And talking himself out of them. Why the fuck is he good at that? I bet if Tubbo wasn’t awake he would’ve just snapped himself out of it and not mentioned it to anyone. In what world does that type of skill come from a good childhood?”

“Wilbur, you know what I can do is limited.”

“I know… but… I’m just… worried about him. Tubbo said he got panic attacks like this a lot. God I swear if they ever lay another hand on him I’ll—”

“Ok, Wil. I’m sure we can do something. But we need solid evidence in order to call CPS. Something like bruises, or his parents yelling at him?”

“Do we need to get CPS involved?”

“I mean… no, but it’ll make things easier in the long run. Better than our current plan.”

“What’s the current plan?”

“Gaslight, Gatekeep, Girlboss.” 

“...Yeah. I’ll see if I can get any solid evidence. But won’t he go into foster care?”

“I have friends in high places, Wilbur. It’s really not that hard to get him placed with your family.”

“Who are your friends?”

“Half the lawyers in L.A., Craft. Not to mention most of L.A. Law enforcement. They’ll turn a blind eye for the right price.”

“Well that’s… terrifying. Wait, won’t he need to be home for CPS to check?”

“Oh shit, right. Umm… yeah we’ll go with the original plan.”

“What, Gaslight, Gatekeep, Girlboss?”

“That, or Manipulate, Mansplain, Manslaughter.”

“I— manslaughter?”

“Whatever it takes.”

“...”

“...”

“We spend too much time on the internet.”

“Yeah, just forget I said that. Party in your room, right?”

“Yep. We were actually just about to go on a snack run though.”

“Lead the way, William.”

“No, after you, Luxurious.”

“Not even my name, asshole.”

“So sorry, your highness.”

“Oh shut up.”

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Tommy, we are not getting three twelve packs of coke.”

Tommy scowled at Wilbur as he added another pack into the cart. “Watch me, bitch.”

Wilbur groaned as Quackity walked over with three bottles of Vodka, followed by Sapnap and Karl, holding bottles of lemonade and soda water.

Lux grinned as she added a few packs of beer into the cart, while Ray added two boxes of Redbull. Tommy stared down into the cart, packed full of caffeine, soda, alcohol, candy, and icecream. “No one’s sleeping tonight, huh?”

Grian shrugged as he dumped some boxes of microwave popcorn into the cart. “Sleep is overrated anyway.”

Tubbo laughed as he added some chips and guacamole, while Ranboo put in the ingredients for nachos. “Who’s paying for this, anyway?”

Lux sighed as they pulled out a card. “I got it. We about ready to check out?”

Quackity added in another bottle of tequila. “Yep.”

Jimmy scowled at the cart. “There is so much alcohol in here.”

Niki shrugged. “As long as it’s not near my cupcakes, I don’t give a shit.”

Puffy smacked Drista’s hand away from the cart as she tried to add edible glitter. “God knows you have enough glitter, Dris.”

Drista pouted. “You can never have enough glitter!”

Puffy shook her head. “No, the amount you have? That’s too much.”

Lux sighed and dragged the group over to self checkout. They were the only one’s in the store (who else would be shopping at 11pm on a weeknight?) so no one stopped them as Drista ran around trying to dump glitter into Fundy’s hair. 

Eventually, they got all checked out and Lux paid. It hurt Tommy’s wallet just looking at the total, but Lux just shrugged and tapped their card. Tommy noticed later that it was a debit card, and she had just… paid for everything. The expensive whisky. The mountains of snacks. Tommy doubted it even made a dent in her weekly allowance.

“Alright, we ready to go? Finally?” 

There was a mummer of agreement from everyone, and they all walked out to where the limbos were waiting. Lux walked over to her own car, loading the groceries into the back. 

As Tommy was following Wil to one of the limbos, he heard Lux call his name. “Tommy, want to ride with me?”

Tommy glanced at Wil, who was giving him puppy eyes, before looking back at Lux.

“Sure, why not?”

Tommy hopped into the passenger seat of Lux’s car, despite Wilbur’s many protests. He waited as she closed the door and started the engine. “Why do you bother driving yourself when you have people to drive you?”

They shrugged, pulling out of the parking lot. “I don’t know. Guess I just like the freedom.”

Tommy nodded. “I get that. Wish I had a little more freedom.”

Lux glanced over at Tommy. “Do you… like your parents?”

Tommy grimaced. “Not really, but they're the only ones I have.”

“They don't have to be.”

Tommy looked over at Lux. “What?”

Lux laughed. “Nothing. What do you think about the Craft family?” She glanced over to watch Tommy’s face. “I know they already think of you as family.”

Tommy wanted to continue asking about what she’d meant, but it was clear she’d moved on from the talking. He ignored the remark about family, instead, just answering her question. “They’re… nice. Nicer than my parents, that’s for sure.”

Lux grinned. “If you want… I think I could get the right paperwork signed to have you stay for a few weeks after the banquet ends? To spend more time with them?”

Tommy thought about it for a moment. It sounded amazing, not having to worry about auditions, or roles. No school work or manager or parents, just him and his self-proclaimed older brothers. But… “No. I have too much to worry about at home to stay. Thanks, though.”

Lux frowned for a moment, but it was quickly replaced by a strained smile. “Just… think it over. Up to you, Tommy.”

Tommy nodded. He wished he could stay, but it just wasn’t possible. They’d grow sick of him eventually. Everyone did. Better to leave before they could realize how annoying he was. 

…Right?

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Tommy glanced around as the credits rolled. Scott and Jimmy were passed out on the couch, Drista, Grian, and Tubbo drawing mustaches on their faces. Wilbur was arguing with Techno while he read some book. Lux was braiding Pearl’s hair, weaving in gold necklaces and flowers they had gotten from the store. Ranboo was scrolling through the movie section of Netflix, trying to find something new to watch. Martyn, Mumbo, Cleo, Gem and Scar were engaged in a game of uno, while Punz and Purpled collected bets from the rest of the group on who was going to win. Quackity and Karl were blackout drunk, while Sapnap was trying to keep them both upright. Fundy was stretched out on the couch, a pillow over his head. Niki was eating whipped cream from the bottle, while Puffy was taking pictures of everyone “for blackmail”.

“Hey, Toms.”

Tommy looked up at Ray, who was sitting behind him. “Hey, Ray. What’s up?”

“Not much. You?”

Tommy glanced around the room. “This… this is nice.”

Ray laughed softly. “Yeah, it is. You should go to bed, you seem tired.”

Tommy shook his head and tried to stifle his yawn. “I’m too pog to get tired.”

Ray laughed. “Seriously, Toms. We’ll all be here when you wake up.”

Tommy looked at him skeptical. “Promise?”

 Ray nodded, completely serious. “On my life.”

Tommy nodded back, and took a final look around the room. These people, most of whom he’d only known for three days, already felt like family.

“Night, Ray. Thanks.”

“Goodnight, Tommy. Sleep well.”

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Yuki, sweetheart? What are you doing?”

“I had an amazing idea, Daddy! You know Thomas’s parents?”

“Yes? What about them?”

“Well! I heard through the grapevine that the Crafts are trying to steal Thomas from them! I bet if we… talk… to them, they’ll be more than happy to help us!”

“What do the Crafts want with Thomas?”

“Oh I don’t know. But the Watcher’s promised him to them. If we play our cards right, Grian will get blamed! Then Sammy will realize that Grian was controlling him all along, and he’ll want to get back together!”

“I knew you took after me. Look at you go, my little genius.”

“You should probably start planning the wedding, Daddy. Sammy will probably propose the second Grian stops controlling him!”

“Of course, my dearest. Would you like to pick out your dress?”

“Later. Right now, we need to make sure everything goes perfectly.”

“And it will. I already have the plan in place.”