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Chapter Text

The line picked up. "Uh, hey, Bruce."

"Hi, Tony..." Bruce's voice was laced with concern, something in Tony's tone setting him off.

"So, um, I'm calling you from the roof of Stark Towers, and um," he laughed a little, quirking his head to the side, "I'm extremely close to the edge and I, uh, can't seem to make myself move away and the ground's looking very appealing right now, so um..."

Bruce took a step back, already moving to the door, leaving his equipment on and his assistant alone at the S.H.I.E.L.D. laboratory. "Okay. It's okay. I'm on my way now, don't hang up." He brushed past security, who let Bruce through without a second thought after seeing the panic in his eyes. "Is anyone at the Tower with you?"

"No, um, except for J.A.R.V.I.S. Wait, no- F.R.I.D.A.Y, I mean F.R.I.D.A.Y. "

"Did you turn her off before you went on the roof?" Bruce slammed the car door shut and swerved out of his spot in the parking garage.

"Um, yeah. And, I, um- There are these, uh, voices, and they keep telling me to jump, and I, um-"

"Tony, listen to me. I am the car now. I'm about fifteen minutes away. You are not, under any circumstances, allowed to jump. Do you understand?"

"I- um, yeah. I just, I keep moving closer to the edge and-" the scientist glanced at the street below him, and tried to restrain from going any further. Voices echoed around him, laughing at him, telling him to jump, that the world would be better off without him. He was having trouble finding a counter example, especially when the voices were of people he knew.

"Tony, when was the last time you took your meds?" Bruce took a quick right turn and floored it on the empty road. It was past midnight.

"I don't think I've broke a month yet, but-" Tony tried to pass it off as okay, causing him to laugh uncomfortably.

Bruce slammed on his breaks at a red light, cursing it mentally. "All of them?"

"Well, no. Like, I was taking my sleepy drugs up until two days ago, and so my brains pretty wired right now."

"That's okay, we'll figure this out. I'm five minutes away now, okay? Don't move." Bruce switched lanes and passed three slow moving taxis.

"Yeah, I'll just- Did you hear that?" Tony tripped over his anxious words, his feet slipping forward as his mind egged him on. You're wasting his time, if that's even really Bruce, the voices antagonized him.

"No. I didn't hear that and neither did you. It's not real, remember?"

"Yeah, right. I, uh- auditory hallucinations. Been talking to those all day," Tony's voice shook, "Did you know that this is the fourth time I've had a conversation with you in the past few hours?" Tony managed to joke.

"Tony, how long have you been on the roof?" Bruce waited impatiently for the light to turn.

"I, um, what time is it?"

"It's twelve seventeen now."

"After not sleeping for three hours then, I came up at ten." Tony heard the sound of a firefight and his head swiveled in search for its source.

"Bruce, are you sure you're not hearing this?"

"No, Tony. You have to remember that it's not real."

"What about you? I mean, not to be a skeptic," he laughed cautiously, "I just have had this conversation with you before, and I don't..."

"Tony, right here, right now, in real time, you are talking to a real person. I am getting you off that roof, I'm parking now. Then I will be on my way up, okay?"

"Well, you see, that's the fourth time I've heard that, but sure, I'll believe you." His eyes darted around as old war sounds echoed off the roof, reality continued to slip out of reach from the crazed man.

There was silence on the phone for a moment, which caused Tony to panic and say, "You still here Bruce, or did you hang up. Ha, hang, that's-" funny, he thought, his breathing speeding up, his eyes wide.

"Yes, I'm still here. I'm in the elevator now, okay? What side of the building are you on?"

"I'm not really sure, actually. I walked around a lot before you picked up. Or, this you picked up. Um, are you sure that you're on your way up? There are, um, lots of noises up here that you probably can't hear. Just my enhanced paranoia due to my manic depression, right?" he laughed nervously.

"Tony, I'm almost to the roof okay?"

"Yeah, yep. Coolio," the man panicked, wiping his sweaty palms on his pants.

The elevator stopped and Bruce spilled out, "Tony!?" he yelled, using his phone as a spotlight searching for his friend.

"Bruce?" Only a soft whisper, coming from the south side of the building.

Bruce chased after it, frantically searching for the voice's source, and finding it barely a foot from the edge, shaking violently, the phone slipping from his fingers. A yard away, Tony whispered, "Please don't come any closer." Bruce stopped and carefully tucked his phone into his pocket, bringing his hands out as a harmless gesture. "Okay. It's okay. We can just talk from here."

"Auditory hallucinations," Tony muttered, biting his lip, "They sure, uh, mess with your brain, ya know?"

"Yes," Bruce said patiently, the longer he kept Tony talking, the longer Tony was alive. Although he was a nuclear physicist, the doctor had been in more than enough of these situations, although he was normally on the other side. He understood that Tony was in control of this situation, no matter how out of control he was.

"Like, right now, for instance, I'm hearing three different you's. One told me that I should jump, which is what I've been getting all day, so you probably didn't say that. Then the other said yes and then you said that you understand, which I know isn't true."

"Tony, I said yes."

"Oh." The man inched back, thinking that he had just heard his friend say that he should in fact jump, killing himself. "I can, um-"

"Tony, what did you hear?"

He wet his lips, "I, um, thought that you- I just." His panicked mind misinterpreting and scrambling his friend's words.

"Tony, I'm going to text you, okay? I'm not sure if you're hearing this correctly, but I'm pulling out my phone and texting you what I'm really saying, okay?"

"No, I don't, I-" the frightened scientist struggled to sift through all the booming voices and gunfire he was hearing.

Tony, this is the real Bruce standing in front of you. Whatever you hear coming out of my mouth isn't me. This text is real, okay? The phone laying at Tony's feet buzzed and lit up.

Please get it, Bruce thought in wait.

Wild-eyed, Tony slowly leaned over and picked up the phone, subconsciously shifting forward. As he read the text, his sleep-deprived eyes scanned Bruce pleadingly.

"Please say something," the crazed man begged.

"Tony, this is real, I'm going to take a step forward, okay?"

Tony bit his lip as Bruce took a cautious step forward, waiting for Tony's reaction.

"That voice is mine, okay?"

"There's still three of you, not to mention the other noises and I-" Tony took a half step forward, to which Bruce was careful not to react to. "Auditory hallucinations," he reminded himself, tears brimming in anguish.

"I know that you don't want to jump," Bruce urged, "You have so many friends, Pepper, a future, Tony, whether you like or not. Please come away from the edge."

Tony's eyes widened, "Auditory hallucinations," he chanted the mantra to himself, "Manic depression. PTSD. Paranoia. Anxiety. Panic disorder." But as though he was being pushed back by a wall of wind, he struggled to force his feet forward. Bruce closed the gap and quickly pulled Tony away from the edge.

"It's okay. You're okay," Bruce murmured, draping an arm around Tony's back as he led him inside. "This is real," Bruce reminded him. "I'm real."

Chapter Text

The two scientists ended up inside, sitting on the couch in the living room, a weighted blanket draped around Tony's shaking shoulders. Pepper rushed in, after receiving a call from Bruce.

"Thank God," she breathed when she saw the two men. Tony jumped up to his feet, his mind still buzzing, and the couple embraced.

"Are you okay, Tony?" She pulled the two of them to the couch next to Bruce and rubbed his back reassuringly.

Tony swallowed, "Yeah," he lied.

"Why didn't you call me?"

"I, um, I did. I- it wasn't the real you and you kept telling me to jump and um..." Tony looked at his hands.

Pepper clasped them, "It's okay. I'm here now. I'm real."

Tony nodded, "Auditory hallucinations," he reminded himself.

"Bruce told me that you stopped taking your medicine. Care to explain?"

"F.R.I.D.A.Y, um, didn't remind me, and so I stopped taking them." Tony glanced at Bruce, wondering what else he had told his girlfriend.

"Okay. That's okay, Tony."

"I'm trying, Pepper!" Tony shouted, his eyes wild again.

"What did you hear, Tony?" Pepper asked, jumping up to calm her boyfriend down. She held his wrists together to restrain him from leaving and tugged him back onto the couch. "You."

"What did I say?" Pepper probed. Bruce marveled at her patience with Tony, and wondered how many times she'd dealt with his antics before. Tony glanced at Bruce, "That I need to get a hold of my life," Tony explained guiltily.

"No, you don't. You're okay now, that's all that matters," she assured him.

Tony ran a hand through his hair. "Can we go to bed?" He sounded like a groggy five year old, asking his mother for permission.

"Yeah, honey," she pulled him up, glancing at Bruce, "Thank you, Bruce," she nodded.

"Of course," he allowed them to get onto the elevator, before taking the stairs up a floor to a guest room, knowing that there was no way he was leaving his friend alone again tonight.

***

"Tony," Pepper chided, looking pointedly at the inch wide paper cup that had just passed to her boyfriend. He bit the inside of his lip, but swallowed the pills down with orange juice without arguing. "Right, sorry."

"Tony, I asked F.R.I.D.A.Y. last night why she wasn't reminding you to take your medicine." Tony locked eyes with her. "And she told me that she had been reminding you and that you had told her that you were taking them." His eyes flicked down to his plate. "Why weren't you taking your medicine, Tony?" she asked, sliding his hands across the table towards herself.

"I-"

"Tony, you know that you have a mental illness. You told me that you wanted to get better. I know that you were avoiding taking the very stuff that would have helped you do just that. I don't need to know why, but I can't always be here when you need help. I think you need to tell more of friends so that they can help support you when you need it."

"Pepper, I-"

"I'm not saying now, I'm just saying that I think it's in your best interest to do so," she pushed on, already knowing every argument Tony would attempt to make.

"Yeah, yeah. Okay..." Tony pushed away his half-eaten plate and made his way to the lab on the fourth floor.

"F.R.I.D.A.Y, Override 48ff337j, if Tony does not take his medicine within the times he has alarms on to take them, contact me immediately. If this happens multiple times within one week, restrict his access to the roof and lock due all windows and weapons store rooms," Pepper ordered once he had left the room. She listed off a few more things before sighing.

"Yes ma'am," the AI replied. Pepper went into her office, looking at her meetings for the day. She was going to have to leave at six. Maybe I'll call Bruce to come over and he can watch Tony... she thought, biting her lip nervously as she logged into get email.

After hours of emailing back and forth between CEO's and bankers, setting up a meeting with Tony's psychiatrist and going through plans that were being sent to her constantly to help improve projects, Pepper sifted through the day, while checking in on Tony excessively with the security cameras in the lab. It upset her that he was struggling so much, all the while never accepting anyone's help. His hallucinations were getting worse, he wasn't taking his meds, he wasn't functioning like he used to. He needed more support if he was going to continued to isolate himself from everyone.

***

"Hey, Bruce," Pepper said, holding the phone between her ear and shoulder as she packed her briefcase for her meeting. She had lost track of time and was going to be late soon.

"Hey, Pepper, is everything okay over there?" Bruce asked, stopping his analysis of their latest results.

"Yeah, yeah, thankfully. Listen, I have a meeting from six to eight across town. Can you come hang out with Tony until I can get back? I need to be there in," she glanced at her watch, "Twelve minutes."

"If I leave now, I can probably get there in ten. Um," he cast his eyes around the room. His main lab assistant, Aaron, gave him a quizzical look as the other interns continued working. Bruce pulled his phone down and addressed Aaron, "Can you hold down the fort for a couple hours?"

"Is this about the thing from last night?" Aaron asked, wanting to know where his boss was running off to again.

"Yeah," Bruce sighed.

"Then yeah, see you tonight."

Bruce put the phone back in his ear, mouthing thank you to Aaron. "Pepper? Yeah, I'm on my way now."

Still on the phone with Pepper, but now on the road, Bruce asked, "How is he today?"

"It's complicated. He didn't eat lunch, but that's not really different for him. I just need you to make sure that he eats something for dinner tonight, and takes his medicine. They're in the medicine cabinet in the kitchen, in one of those weekly organizers. And try to talk to him, please, I don't really know what else to tell you."

"Did you figure out why he wasn't taking his meds?" Bruce asked. He had received an email from Pepper earlier that day about Tony purposefully not taking his medicine.

"No. I was hoping he'd tell you." Pepper pressed her lips together. "Thank you, Bruce."

"Yeah, anytime."

Chapter Text

"Did Pepper send you?" Tony asked from the hallway on the tenth floor, tossing a tennis against the wall as he sat with his back to the opposite one, his head banging back against it.

"Yeah," Bruce nodded, seeing no sense in lying to one of the sharpest men he knew. He sat against the other wall, joining Tony.

"Well, then there's no getting rid of you, is there?" Tony joked, thinking of Pepper. Bruce shook his head, even though he didn't think Tony was watching him, but rather staring at the ceiling, where he was now tossing the tennis ball at.

"Then you better make yourself at home. What'd she tell you?" Tony tested him, getting up and leading Bruce to the elevator, clicking the button for the fourth floor.

"That you need to eat dinner."

"And?"

"That's it," Bruce now lied, feeling that Tony would get upset if he knew just how worried Pepper was.

"I read the email she sent you. Yes, I purposely didn't take my drugs. Yes, she wants me to tell Steve and company about my brain issues. Has Pepper psychoanalyzed me enough to figure it out?" Tony joked as they entered the lab.

"This isn't funny Tony." Then, after a brief moment of silence, "What are you working on?"

"Playing around with probability. Fun times, wanna join me?" Tony set the tennis ball down on his desk.

Bruce glanced at his watch. 6:17. "Why not?" he sighed.

Around seven, Bruce said, "Are you ready to eat?"

Tony glanced at the screen, the numbers dancing down it in his blurry vision. His stomach was crawling around his insides, his brain feeling fuzzy. "I'm good," he said despite that.

"Tony," Bruce warned.

"Fine," Tony shook his head, trying to clear his thoughts. He pushed back in his chair and followed Bruce up to the kitchen, who began heating up some leftover casserole in the microwave. Tony pulled a beer out of the fridge, but was immediately shot down by Bruce, who took it out of his hands and placed it back where he found it. "You're not getting drunk on me," Bruce chastised him. I wasn't going to get drunk, Tony lied to himself, just wanting the hallucinations to dispell, but he didn't argue. Bruce set a plate in front of him, then a cup of water. He slid the pills towards Tony, "Eat," he ordered.

Tony shoved food down uncomfortably as Bruce watched him intently, eating his own helping of casserole.

After Tony swallowed down his pills, Bruce relaxed a bit, but he still actively studied his friend.

When Tony glanced to the side for the tenth time, Bruce finally asked, "What's over there?"

"Nothing," he replied too quickly.

"Tony," Bruce warned.

"It's nothing. I know it's not real, I'm fine."

"Yeah right," an echo taunted Tony in his head. "You've never been fine," it spat. "You're a freak."

"Shut up," Tony seethed to it.

"Tony, what are you hearing?"

"It's not real, it doesn't matter," Tony attempted.

"Humor me," Bruce said in a flat, but not cruel, voice. Tony shook his head, ignoring the aggressive backlash from his inner peanut gallery. "It's just this kid named Jimmy I used to know. He likes to make comments on my life decisions. I know he's not real anymore."

"Anymore?"

"He can't be, he died a while back. I killed him."

"Tony, I doubt that,"

"I was in Afghanistan for work and I was in the Hum-Vee as him and it got attacked by a terrorist group and the kid got killed and I couldn't save him or myself and the terrorist group was using my weapons because my ex-partner was selling them behind my back," Tony rushed, looking back at the disembodied source of the dead soldier, who continued to tell him about his tragic death.

"Tony, that's not your fault. You didn't kill that soldier," Bruce tried to convince his friend.

"He was barely eighteen years old, Bruce." Tony looked at him wearily, tears at the edge of his eyes.

"That's right Stark-y. I was a kid. Those terrorists showed up just days before my nineteenth birthday. I could've been killed," the ghost taunted.

"What did you say?" Tony asked, wide-eyed, looking for the invisible man.

"Tony, I'm over here-"

"No, no, no, no, no, no," Tony flushed, "What the hell did you just say?" His head swiveled as the soldier replied, "Oh, so now you're going to talk to me. I said I got killed before-"

"No. No, you said that you could've died," Tony pressed, "Are you even dead?"

"Of course I am ol' chap. You read the obit, remember?"

"But I- you-" Tony sputtered.

Bruce waited for him to finish his one-sided conversation, and once it seemed like Tony was done, he pulled back his attention. "Tony, you okay?"

The billionaire swallowed, "Yeah, I just- He just keeps interrupting and I-"

"That's okay," Bruce assured him as Tony rambled on, "-feel bad when I ignore him and-"

"Tony you have to remember that he's not real."

Tony shook his head, "But he was real, and it's my fault that he isn't anymore. I owe him."

"Is that why you stopped taking your meds? Because you blame yourself for his death?"

"I guess." There was a long pause. "He wasn't mean at first, Bruce. He just wanted my attention. But then he- he," Tony swallowed. "He told me that if I took my meds that I would be killing him again and that I was better off joining him. And then he started playing sounds of war, like machine guns and bombs and stuff going off in my head non-stop and I was just trying to get away from him last night."

"Do you still hear the war noises?"

"Sometimes, like not right now, but I was earlier. They generally keep me up at night," Tony glanced at his half-full plate. "The louder bombs just make me want to vomit. And then you've got your own personal roaster telling you that you don't deserve food anyways."

Bruce looked down at his own plate. "I know what you mean, believe it or not. I've been where you were last night before, but the Other Guy wouldn't let me die. I'm not letting you die."

Tony snorted, "So you'll be my own personal giant rage monster?"

"Something like that," Bruce laughed as Pepper walked in. She sighed with relief as she saw them eating and talking. Maybe he can get better, she thought. She heated up her own helping of casserole and they finished eating together.

Tony headed back to the lab while Bruce pulled Pepper aside before she could follow him down, and she leads them to her office, where she pulled up the cameras in the lab, so they could keep an eye on Tony.

"Did you know him back in 2008?"

"Yeah, I was his PA at the time," Pepper narrowed her eyes, "Why?"

"Did he ever mention a dead soldier by the name of Jimmy to you?"

Pepper shook her, confused, "He said that Jimmy was a cousin that died in a car crash..."

"Not exactly," And Bruce began to explain what Tony had told him.

While Bruce was talking to Pepper, they weren't paying enough attention to the footage and what Tony was doing in the lab.

"Auditory hallucinations," Tony reminded himself. "They're not real." He laced his hands behind his head, trying to take control. He knew that his meds took a couple days to kick into action. "You're a schizo, not haunted," he reasoned, "You've been dealing with this for years. You're fine." Even though he had just 'talked it out' with Bruce, he still was being plagued by the dead soldier.

"Come play, Mr. Stark," he mocked, "I've missed you. You've got so many toys in here, kill yourself like you killed me and come play."

"You're not real," Tony replied forcefully. "Pepper!" he shouted, looking straight into the security camera. "Pepper, please!"

He looked around wild-eyed, his recent insomnia settling in, "F.R.I.D.A.Y. call Pepper."

"Yes sir," the machine replied.

"God, I hope that that wasn't just in my head," Tony muttered.

"Come on old man. You can't seriously believe that you're talking to your fancy little robot right now. I'm in control of your noggin buddy boy," the disembodied soldier danced around him, "Which means that what I say goes. You can keep taking your drugs, but that doesn't mean that I'm going anywhere. Maybe some of your other tics will disappear, but I'm not leaving your coconut." The boy was now breathing down Tony's neck. "I'm in charge here, bub."

The voice laughed as Tony whirled around in panic. "Please, Pepper," he whispered, "Please."

Chapter Text

"Tony?!" Pepper rushed into the lab, and clasped his shoulders, Bruce following right behind.

"Oh, look who showed up, she ca-"

"Shut up," Tony barked, flinging his face around in search for his tormenter.

"Tony, calm down. I'm real, remember? I'm real." She rubbed his shoulders. "Sit down, honey." She led him down to his chair, while Bruce stood to the side. Pepper cupped his face in her hands, forcing him to look at her. "I'm real."

Tony attempted to control his breathing, "At least I didn't end up on the roof this time," he tried, looking at Bruce for reassurance.

"Tony, that's not funny," Pepper chastised him. "You took your meds, right?"

"Yeah, yeah. Bruce watched me, right Bruce?"

"He did, Pepper," Bruce assured her. She bit her lip, "Okay. It's okay, honey. What were you hearing?"

"Jimmy," Tony replied, seemingly ashamed.

"He wasn't your fault, Tony. We've been over this, he isn't real," Pepper promised him, quickly adapting what she told Tony to her new knowledge of who Jimmy really was. 

"I know that, but I don't- I don't-"

"Tony, you are in control, okay?"

"I'm not so sure anymore, Pepper."

"That's okay, honey. That's okay. We'll figure it out."

***

"I don't know, he just asked us to meet him at the tower," Steve replied to Natasha's question.

The pair walked into the lobby of Stark Towers and upon seeing the empty receptionist's desk, got into the elevator, pressing the button for the tenth floor, the common living areas. It stopped on the fourth floor and Bruce clamored in, wearing a plain gray sweatshirt. "Hi, guys," he offered.

"Do you know why we're here?" Natasha asked, leaning against the back wall as the doors slid closed.

"Oh! Yeah. But I'm not really supposed to say. I was just grabbing something from the lab." He held up a white paper bag as proof, its contents shaking around as he did.

"What's in there?" Steve asked, recognizing the noise, but not quite able to place it.

"Nothing important," Bruce lied. They were a higher dose of antipsychotic drugs for Tony, but they didn't need to know that.

"Sure," Natasha studied him, "Is everyone from the original gang coming Shaggy?"

"Yeah," Bruce replied, "But I'd be Velma."

"I'm Velma," she replied in all seriousness, "Steve's Fred. I have it all figured out. But I had to rework it after Sokovia. Wanda's Daphne now."

"Who was Daphne before?" Bruce asked.

"Tony," Natasha replied.

The elevator jolted to a stop before opening smoothly to reveal Clint sitting on the couch, Tony and Pepper in the kitchen and Rhodey walking out of the bathroom, wiping his hands on his pants.

Bruce and Tony locked eyes as everyone congregated in the living room. Pepper rubbed Tony's back while he began. "So, thanks for coming, I, um," Bruce nodded reassuringly. "I was diagnosed with schizophrenia and bipolar disorder, among other things, a while back and it's, uh, been getting worse lately and, um, last night I-" Pepper squeezed his hand, encouraging him. "I, um, I almost jumped off the roof of this building, but Bruce stopped me, I- um..."

Silence coated the room like dew on grass. But Tony missed the utter sympathy and understanding on every face in the room as he studied his hands ashamed. "Oh, Tony," Natasha murmured. She had been in that same place just after she had escaped the Black Widow Program. Everyone in that room, except for maybe Rhodey and Pepper had been where he had been. Their pasts made them believe that they were called to die. But they had been stopped for the greater good, some of them against their will, being forced to continue on.

Tony swallowed, "So, um, Pepper and Bruce told me that I need support and stuff, and you're my friends, so..."

"We're here for you, Stark," Steve assured him. "Any time of day, rain or shine, we're here." Tony wiped the brimming tears out of his eyes and stood to embrace his friend. "Thank you," he whispered into Steve's ear.

Clint cleared his throat after a moment, "So, ah, not to be rude, but how does it work?" Tony pulled away from the embrace and sat back down next to Pepper.

"I hear voices," Tony cocked his head, trying to interpret what Clint wanted. "When I don't take antipsychotics, which generally make me want to die, the voices, not the drugs." He bit the inside of his lip, "If that makes sense." Tony made eye contact with each of his friends. They all smiled encouragingly, they supported him. He could survive. He had to for them.

Clint nodded, glad he didn't overstep any boundaries. After a few moments of allowed silence by Pepper, who was definitely in control, she stood up, pulling Tony along with her, and said, "You're all welcome to have lunch with us, but feel free to go," she smiled sweetly, rubbing Tony's back reassuringly.

In the kitchen, Pepper pulled a pan of lasagna out of the oven, and asked, "You okay, Tony?" The rest of the adults were waiting in the dining room, talking loudly, breaking the spell of anxiety placed around them while Tony had explained. He nodded, "I think I really am."

"Things'll get better now that you're not alone, remember that," Pepper patted his back before motioning to the basket of warm garlic bread and telling him to take it to the dining room.

"Time to face the music," Jimmy mocked. And for once, Tony didn't care.