Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Those sleepless moments were the last thing that Castorice needed.

She had her own destiny to face, same as the other Chrysos Heirs. Castorice has yet to find Thanatos, she has been painstakingly looking for that Titan for so long. She can't face her destiny of becoming a demigod unless she knows the location of the coreflame “Death”.

Lying in her flowery bed, another internal conflict struck her as well. As she searches for Thanatos, the Crowned Prince of Kremnos offers his life to find them despite immortality. Not willing for someone to die on behalf of her, she turned that down. Although, there was a change of heart inside of her about him.

She was feared by everyone, apart from the Chrysos Heirs because of her deadly touch. Growing up, she had to bear the curse as she was excluded when she was only a child from others her age. Deep down, she craved physical affection. Seeing other citizens in the Holy city show their love to their loved ones, it made her desire that too; but her condition destroyed it all. That was, until her heart skipped a beat from Mydei's offer.

Since then, Castorice tried to make sure that what she felt wasn't an infatuation; but instead a genuine connection. She's heard all kinds of love stories across Okhema, even legends of Nikador’s love stories. From there, she could tell the difference between genuine love and infatuation.

Castorice knew that someday, one of them had to face their destinies that come with a cost, their own lives. She knew that once Mydei accepts his fate, he had to return to Castrum Kremnos fighting off the Black Tide with the likelihood of not returning to Okhema anymore. She’s heard a lot of advice, specifically from books. They say that if you love someone, you have to tell them; it's the best way to get closure even if it's never reciprocated. But she never finds the right words, unless…if it's on a parchment paper.

She got off from her bed and rushed to her desk, she grabbed a parchment paper from her right shelf along with a bottle of ink and purple feathered quill. The scratches on the paper from her quill uncovers several emotions, there's longing, uncertainty, and in need of assurance.

Lord Mydei,
I'm not sure if you could recognise me from this handwriting, but if you can, I'm very flattered that you do. Okay, it's me, Castorice.

I hope you're feeling well as always, honestly speaking I truly enjoyed our companionship together. About how I've been feeling, not so well. Recently, there's been so much doubt circulating regarding how you view me as; a friend or foe.

She can't bring herself to say it.

This is…all because of my curse. I bear the touch of death, Lord Mydei. How could anyone even be so genuine in helping me? Of all the things you could've done to me while I bear this curse, you chose to offer your life to find that Titan. Are you…only doing this because you bear the curse of immortality, knowing that you won't die by my touch or getting near my presence? Or is it because you’re sincere in being friends? Until today, I found myself questioning and couldn't stop thinking about that day, even about you.

That's the only subtle thing she could say.

I wish to get these uncertainties out of my head, I can't…bring them to stop it. Forgive me, of my recklessness Lord Mydei. I've never been so grateful to have you as a friend in my life, after bearing this curse all my life.

Yours only,
Castorice

She stared at the parchment paper.

Is this all she could do? She can't, she can't even bring herself to say those words. What if he reacts wrongly? What if he never reciprocates what she feels and understands her? But another half of her knows that Mydei would try his best to be polite if he ever knew, she knows the man all too well. He may be a tough and fierce warrior, but he truly cares for the ones around him. Good with children, at baking and cooking. Who wouldn't love the prince?

Chapter Text

During the Entry Hour, Castorice went to the Garden of Life to ask a favour from Lady Trinnon. She couldn't bring herself to directly send the letter to Mydei herself, nor could she ask Phainon to do it for her; he would be such a tease to her if she asked him for help.

“Lady Trinnon…” she called out. Trinnon was still snoring halfway, “H-huh?” she slightly flinched and turned to Castorice. “Oh, forgive me for disturbing you in your sleep.” she apologised, standing a few feet away from her because of the curse. “Lady Castorice…is there something we can do for you?” she asked in her quiet tone of voice. “This situation…is rather complicated, allow me to explain it to you.”

Though Trinnon is half asleep at the same time, she makes an effort to listen to her issues. Even so, she wasn't clear about it and was slightly vague on parts of her story. Trinnon won't inform the rest of the Chrysos Heirs about this, won't she?

Trinnon nodded as Castorice explained her situation, “Mm, youth…it's been so long since we’ve had those days.” added Trinnon. “You…experienced this before?” Castorice asked, “Not…necessarily. But we've heard of love stories experienced by youngsters back in Janusopolis.”

Castorice widened her eyes, Trinnon saw it right through her. “We…wish we could help more with you and De, but it seems like…Snowy would be the best person to reach out to. He knows him better than we do, he would understand and send you that letter immediately.” she explained, “Oh…and, won't it be weird if we sent that letter to De rather than Snowy instead?”

Castorice thought this through for a moment, then came back to her senses. “Well, aren't you the ones who send prophecies currently throughout Okhema?” she suddenly questioned, “I don't believe that it would be a surprise you start sending letters, no?” Trinnon rubbed her chin, pondering on her thoughts. “If you really want this to be sent, then…okay. We will try our best to have yours sent, we hope you resolve your problems and unwind after so long.” Trinnon exhaled.

Castorice widened her eyes and exhaled, “Thank you, Lady Trinnon. You have no idea how much this means to me. I…will let you know how the situation went, the next time I see you again.” she thanked her. Trinnon then nodded, as Castorice’s heartbeat began to race. She gave her the parchment letter while keeping at a safe distance. Now, she will only receive either two answers.

Mydei would see right through her and get straight to the point over what he feels about her.

Or, Mydei would still see right through her but he would politely reject her feelings. There's another one though, that there won't be a response and Castorice would only have to think that it's a form of rejection.

***
Mydei watches the passerbys in the Marmoreal Market from the rooftop, chatter sounds across the area as people purchase their goods and children run throughout the market. He then heard footsteps coming from his right.

“Who comes there?!” He raised his voice, Trinnon then stopped herself from walking forward. Mydei widened his eyes, “Lady Trinnon…forgive me for my aggression. I thought you were an enemy surrounding me.” he was being down to earth regarding it, “Oh…it's alright. Nothing new coming from a fierce warrior like you anyway.”

Mydei sighed, “What brings you here? Is there a new prophecy you wish to deliver?”
Trinnon shook her head. “It's…a letter. From Lady Castorice.” she admitted. His heart then raced slightly faster.

Slightly.
He couldn't understand why.

“L-Lady Castorice? Is she in need of my help?” he questioned, curious about her sudden interaction with him. Why would she suddenly communicate through a letter rather than approaching him for a conversation? Trinnon stood silent for a while. “You…should read the letter. Please…keep it secure.” she then lowered her gaze from him while handing the parchment paper.

“I will.” he took the letter from her, “Thank you, Lady Trinnon. You're free to go.” she nodded, and eventually left the area.

Mydei kept the parchment paper closer to his chest, wanting to prevent the wind from blowing it away.

Chapter Text

He scans through the letter, as the candle flickers throughout the dark room.

…Are you only doing this because you bear the curse of immortality, knowing that you won't die by my touch or getting near my presence? Or is it because you’re sincere in being friends?

Those sentences repeatedly played in his head. The doubt surrounding her, what was she thinking? He pondered, after all he's done for her, she still…she still thinks that it was some child's play? Mydei thought about his offer to sacrifice himself to find Thanatos, he saw the look in her eyes. Worry, uncertainty is all he could see; since then the thought of her refusing his help became repetitive in his head, not because of anger, but because of the feeling he can't understand what. But he does know that regardless of what form or curse she had; he would still be a friend to her.

Friend.
Is that what this is? Mydei is a man of straightforward questions or answers, Castorice's letter says otherwise. For a reason he can't uncover, he believes that there's more to this letter. Mydei being the oblivious man he is, thinks of a response that can assure her of his sincerity. However, he doesn't know how to word it in letters.

Some time passed by, he exhaled as he wrote in a parchment paper asking her to meet him at the Garden of Life during the Curtain-Fall Hour, where there would be more privacy from other people. Mydei then stood up and grabbed the candle holder, as he blew the candle; withering the light from his room.

***

Castorice dotted her eyes on the short response from Mydei,

Meet me during the Curtain-Fall Hour.
-Mydei

The Curtain-Fall Hour…won't that be the time period of a pillowed rest? Everyone will be asleep that time, does this mean…a time for only the both of them? He…must've wanted to say something about the letter Trinnon gave.

As nervous as Castorice seemed, she has to accept whatever response that comes to her. But at the same time, she's not willing to be alone for the rest of her life. She's not willing to try again if there's a next life, she wants to try only in this life and not any other. When the Parting Hour is nearing its end, Castorice makes her move to prevent Mydei from waiting for her. She walked quietly across the hallway to avoid waking up the remaining people in their rooms. The cold wind brushes her skin, as she wears a black cloak covering her body.

Step by step, and she already stepped foot on the grass. Castorice looked forward, and saw Mydei looking forward towards the statue of Kephale. She exhaled, and approached him. Mydei heard footsteps, and quickly looked behind. He softened his gaze as it was Castorice who appeared in front of him. “Lord Mydei…” she blurted out, “Castorice…” he continued.

Silence filled the area for a short time, even so it felt eternal to both of them. “I received your letter, to be fair I have no idea how I should respond so I decided to tell you in person.” he explained. Castorice’s heartbeat raced hastily, faster than when she gave the letter to Trinnon for her to send it to Mydei.

“How do I word it…” he announced as he rubbed his neck, “Basically, all I could say is that we're on very good terms; to me you're one of the most amazing companions that I've ever met. And yes, I offered to sacrifice myself out of my sincerity towards our friendship.”

Oh.

So the unbelievable did happen.

“Oh…I see. I understand, Lord Mydei.” she avoided his gaze. Mydei tilted his head, confused over her facial expression. “In that case, I should leave you alone for you to process things.” Castorice turned and walked away from him. Startled, Mydei rushed towards her and held her shoulder preventing her from taking another step.

She let out a quiet gasp and immediately turned towards him, her cheeks flushed by his touch and his presence being inches away from her. It wasn’t surprising that his contact didn't kill him instantly due to his immortality. “Why did you run away from me? Do you…not consider us as companions?” he questioned. Wait, why is he holding her shoulder? That touch… so soft and delicate, he never wanted to let go.

“It was…never about that. Lord Mydei…” Castorice avoided his gaze. Mydei, then finally letting her go, still confused. He tried to maintain his composure, trying to understand her feelings not wanting to feel impatient with her. Maybe for Castorice, he will try. “Titans…am I ever worthy of someone like you?” she rubbed her forehead, trying to control her breathing. “Now I’m even more confused,” he admitted. “I can’t even accept that our fates have been written, and I’m just trying to make it through–”

“Cas.” 

She widened her eyes, and made eye contact with him at last. The man then rubbed his forehead, surely it felt like a battle to him; trying to understand what Castorice was trying to convey. “Please…get to the point. It hurts me, to see you sad like this; especially knowing of your struggles to find that Titan.” Mydei felt her struggle, he felt it more when Castorice denied his offer to sacrifice herself. Since then, he couldn’t get her off his mind; he never knew it would lead up to this hour. 

She breathed in,

And breathed out. 

Castorice wanted to ask him to take her hand. No, he needs a straightforward answer. If you truly love this person, you wouldn’t leave them in the dark no? A voice was heard from her heart, “I simply wish to tell of my feelings for you. I was hoping that I could spend the rest of my days with you, but knowing our fates just makes it hard to accept that our love, if there's any, has been doomed from the very beginning.” she confessed.

Mydei’s breath shakened, with his mouth agape and pupils dilated. Strange, now he’s the one that felt the flush on his cheeks. “You…what?!” he was taken by surprise. He was never this vulnerable, to any of the Chrysos Heirs apart from Phainon. But now…perhaps he’s found someone to be..his solace to his worries, and to his fate. 

Castorice exhales, “Whatever the answer lies within, I’m ready to accept them. Then with this, we could both focus on our fates without worrying about eachother.” She placed her right palm on her chest. She walked towards the small stairs looking above at the statue of Kephale, “Don’t you think that…dancing is a dangerous game?” asked Castorice. Usually, Mydei would ask her to be straightforward with whatever she’s saying. But…knowing that the woman he loved reciprocates with whatever he felt to her, he doesn’t mind trying again. 

A Dangerous game, love could be harsh yet also a blessing to the people around and even to him. “What do you mean by ‘dangerous game'?” he questioned. “What I mean is,” Castorice turned to him, then suddenly came to a realization.

“Did you just…ask what it means instead of convincing me to be straightforward?” she asked out of curiosity. Mydei pondered on his words, then remembered what he had asked her. The realization hit him like a truck, his body stiffened as he quickly laid his eyes towards the stairs, his face as red as a tomato. 

“Oh…so this is what it means to be loved.” her gaze softened due to his embarrassment. “And what is that supposed to mean?” he exclaimed, heat remaining on his face. “You…feel what I feel, don’t you?” she whispered. “T-There’s no such word as ‘romance’ in the Kremnoan language.” Mydei blurted out, flustered over her tease. 

Castorice chuckled softly, under the Curtain-Fall Hour where no one could disturb their subtle moments together. “If we were to establish this…connection, won't we be in denial of it lasting forever knowing that we've been doomed from the start?” Time stopped for Mydei, at that moment it only remained at the Curtain-Fall Hour. With only Castorice, and only her. 

“So this is what you meant,” he said. “My answer is…as dangerous as it sounds, I would like to have it with you Lady Castorice.” Her heart skipped a beat with his words, as she widened her eyes.

He has feelings for her,

This…

This is a fever dream,

Is it? 

“You…If you take this step, you don't know what you're asking for. You don't know what costs it would bring us.” Castorice, still in denial with his sincerity yet it brings her so much comfort once she gets her closure. 

Why? 

How? 

Since when? 

“If I'm unsure, I wouldn't have told you so. Maybe we were built to fall apart, but who cares what fate decides to throw at us? Let's…try to fight it, this once.” Mydei requested as he walked closer towards her, she looked in his eyes. There's longing and vulnerability through it.

“Even if someday we have to face our destinies, atleast we had that special time together before we were meant to part.” he begged. Before Castorice could react, Mydei held the back of her head and gently placed it near his left shoulder. 

The warmth of his body made her face flushed, her heart raced with every thought of him up till now. She then closed her eyes, “They say that if something's taken away from you, it'll be replaced with something better.” said Castorice with a whisper. 

“Oh yeah?” asked Mydei, “And what did you have to lose?” she pulled away from his body, yet their faces are inches away from one another with both of his hands on her shoulder. “Everything, all because of this curse. This life…has thrown many unfortunate situations at me.” she vented. Mydei softened his eyes, as he placed his right hand on her face while the other wrapped around her neck. “Do you believe that even if someday something better could replace this once we face our destinies, will it remind you of the things you lost?”

Castorice stood silent, feeling the soft touch on her cheek.

"Always will.” 

The cold wind brushed their skin, as Mydei continued to gaze at her. 

“I love you.” he finally confessed. 

Love. 

Being loved and seeked for solace is everything she ever wanted.

Now she pondered, should she hang her lips on his? Like the Gardens of Babylon? Being too flustered with his words, she can't bring herself to do it for now.

“Don't let go.” Castorice's voice is quiet as a whisper, craving for his touch to remain on hers.

Mydei's eyes remained on her, yet she could tell in his eyes that someday; his destiny is his to face and that they would be eternally separated.

So this is what they meant by…

Forever is the sweetest con.

Forever isn't real, and that it won't last.