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You clearly remembered the shock in his eyes when you decided to confess your feelings to him. They weren't simply the eyes of someone that was merely caught off guard. He had no clue. He had absolutely no clue at all. And in the back of your mind, you weren't exactly sure which hurt more, his rejection or the fact that not once did your feelings ever register to him.
Deep down, you knew it was your fault. You always fell too easily in love, after all. But how could you not when he was of the first to remember your name when you joined the matra? How could your heart not beat those times he stepped in front to shield you from enemies? And how could you not be moved all those times he'd tell one of his horrible jokes to cheer you up after your many failures?
You didn't understand how people saw him as a scary person. Sure, he didn't smile much. Yes, his strict adherence to the rules often was a bit nervewracking. But if people just paid attention, they'd be able to see his warmth. They'd notice how observant he is. They'd catch glimpses of his goofy sides. They'd experience his warmth. More than anyone you had ever met, he was so easy to fall in love with. Really, how could you not?
So even though you walked away from him that day with tears streaming your cheeks, you could not bring yourself to hold any harsh feelings in your heart. It wasn't his fault. It was yours, as it usually was. You were the one that decided to fall in love. You were the one that chose to covet him and let your hubris get the better of you. After all, shouldn't it have been clear from the very start?
The things that mattered so dearly to you were but mere trifles to him.