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English
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Published:
2025-04-14
Updated:
2025-04-18
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2,695
Chapters:
3/?
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You’re So Pretty! (Derogatory)

Anonymous

Summary:

‘What a day!’ Tanya thought as she drove out of the skeleton’s gigantic mansion driveway with her pretty pink corvette.

She didn’t really expect herself to be moving in with an old friend of hers but what was life without uncertainty and surprises? If her ex hadn’t decided to sell all his possessions — including the apartment they lived in to take a spiritual break in the Himalayan mountains she wouldn’t even be here in the first place! Reunited with her old friend!

 

Or, a rather dumb take on the anti-harem stories. Usually our antagonist happens to be a girly girl who loves shopping and all whilst the Reader is someone who loves to reads books and is nerdy. So I’ve decided it might be fun to write one where their positions are swapped!

Notes:

(See the end of the work for notes.)

Chapter 1

Chapter Text

So, she admittedly had no idea why she was doing this. Nor why she was going through with the plan in the first place. A skeleton monster, taller than her by like…. 9 inches or something sat across from her. His hands hidden inside the pockets of his blue jacket. His face was set on a lazy grin, his overall demeanor laid back but something about him made Tanya think that he mildly disliked her for reasons she couldn’t fathom.

She sat on the worn leather couch, her hands placed neatly on her lap, posture straight, shoulders NOT rounded. She swore that she’d been on her best behavior throughout the whole interview. Anna had told her that Sans— or was his name Blue?— was a pretty nice guy. But maybe that was just because Sans happened to be one of Anna’s boyfriends.

Tanya smiled subconsciously, oh her sweet Anna had gotten like 10 rich men— monsters— all wrapped around her little finger. She was so proud!

“Anyways, Anna likes you and a friend of hers is a friend of mine.” Sans smile grew by an inch as he winked his other eye at her. “When do you think you could move in?”

Faint shouting from upstairs made Tanya pause for a second before replying. “If it’s alright with you I’d like to move in by Friday.”

“Whens that again?”

“It’s like… three days from now I’m pretty sure.”

“Got yourself a deal then. See ya.”

Then Sans blipped away from existence. Like, quite literally just vanished away what the hell? Didn’t even bother showing her out of the house that was quite rude! Tanya yelps when she feels hands on her shoulders and she turns around in surprise.

“How was the interview?” Smiled Anna.

“He was very rude! Like, what the hell?”

Anna tilted her head at Tanya confused. (Although, Tanya swore there was something to the way she looked at her) “Are you sure? Maybe you just imagined it.”

Tanya groaned. “No! There was something there I promise.”

“Tanya, just because a guy doesn’t happen to be falling over himself just to talk to you doesn’t mean that he’s rude.”

Wow. That was… okay Tanya would’ve just taken that joke and ran with it but there was a hint of bitterness bleeding into Anna’s tone that made Tanya pause.

“Anyways! Me and the boys have been playing Mario Kart for a while and”— Anna held her hand out for Tanya to take—“well, I’m not sure if you even play games. But feel free to join us once you move in!”

Tanya giggled as they both walked to the front door. “Well”—she drawled out as she smiled cheekily — “I’m like, so not good at games but I’d love to join you guys!”

Anna smiled at Tanya. “Great!”

The door was then shut.

‘What a day!’ Tanya thought as she drove out of the skeleton’s gigantic mansion driveway with her pretty pink corvette.

She didn’t really expect herself to be moving in with an old friend of hers but what was life without uncertainty and surprises? If her ex hadn’t decided to sell all his possessions — including the apartment they lived in to take a spiritual break in the Himalayan mountains she wouldn’t even be here in the first place! Reunited with her old friend!

It was admittedly odd. Everything about that mansion was odd. She knew that Anna dated about 10 or 11 guys (not that she was judging) but she surprisingly didn’t catch a glimpse of anyone else other than Sans.

Sans. It was strange for Sans to so convincingly act like he felt relaxed regarding her move in.

He knew he could just say no right? Did he feel pressured to accept her? Oooh! Was Anna possibly begging him to let Tanya stay? Oh Tanya’s heart! That’s just adorable!

Tanya smiled to herself feeling quite pleased. Whatever the case, she’d make the most out of her short stay.

Chapter 2: 2

Summary:

A Wild Pokémon Appears!

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Tanya hummed to herself as she carried over five shopping bags of clothing. What? She needed new clothing! New house means new wardrobe helloooo? As long as she wasn’t any of those girlies who threw out their old clothes instead of donating it!

She gasped as she spotted a rather cute silver game controller brooch! On a 50% sale! Anna would love this she’d just have to get it—

“Tanya?”

Tanya whipped around, startled, “Oh! Anna!” She smiled delightedly as she hugged Anna. She noticed how Anna had two other skeleton monsters with her. Her boyfriends perhaps?

As Tanya let go of the hug she looked up at them in greetings, “This must be your boyfriend?…” she said unsure. He looked mildly annoyed (and also intimidating but Tanya’s not letting a man— monster whatever intimidate her nuh uh!)

Anna nodded, “Yes!” She grabbed his arm waiting for him to introduce himself.

When he only chose to glare at Tanya. Anna then looked up at the Skeleton Man who lowered his head so Anna could whisper in his… non-existent ear. It sounded like she was faintly scolding him.

He coughed, “Oh— Right. Good Afternoon Human. Pardon Me For My Poor Manners I Am Edge.”

Ooookaay! That’s certainly a name! Sure why the hell not! She wasn’t gonna judge. It perfectly fit him to be fair. Maybe monsters had a thing where they could sense an energy as to how their kids would grow up?

Tanya giggled, “That’s so fun! Hi Edge. I’m Tanyaa~ nice to meet chu! You guys look soooooo cute together! Good to know that I’ll be future roommates with you!”

“I Would Rather Prefer Not Being Roommates With You. But Seeing That Anna Likes You For Whatever Reason Then I Will Tolerate It.”

Awwww, was he a tsundere? Or did he just genuinely not like her? Tanya doesn’t know and will now just assume that he’s a tsundere.

She laughed more as Anna lightly slapped Edge’s arm and lightly scolded him. They already acted like a married couple! “Noooo, don’t scold him Anna he’s clearly just a tsundereeee. Only has eyes for you I seeee. Anyways! Watcha doing here? I know that you like, sooooo hate malls and shopping malls in general.”

Anna smiled, “Yeah! I do. But Edge here is insisting on buying a treat for me.”

“You know what? Edge maybe you’d want to buy Anna this controller whatever brooch! It’s like, made of diamonds and stuff.” Said Tanya as she showed him the display that she had just been eyeing a minute ago.

“God no! I don’t— I’m not the biggest fan of all that girly shit you know?“ Anna then made a show of crinkling her face in disgust as she looked over Tanya’s shopping bags, “Bleh! No thanks!”

Tanya giggled, “God! You’re such a tomboy.“

Tanya could hear Edge’s neck snapping as he turned to glare at her, “Is That a Problem?”

Awww, how cute! Sooo protective.

Tanya held her hands up in surrender and smirked at Edge, “Noopeee! No sirrr. Anyways, you should turn that frown upside down! No use in being so agressive with me sir I prooomisee I won’t steal your girlfriend away!”

Suddenly her phone rang. Shoot! She forgot about the guy her friends had set her up with!

“Oops! Well! Time for me to go! Have fun you two!” Said Tanya as she sped walk to the mall's parking lot. As fast as she could with her high heels at least.

——————————-

“You Were Right About Her Being Obnoxious.” Commented Edge as both he and Anna watched as Tanya walked away.

Anna winced, “Yeah, she’s— she’s a character alright.”

Edge groaned, “I Still Don’t Understand Why You Want Her To Stay With Us So Badly If The Things You’ve Said About Her Are True”

Anna frowned and bit the tip of her thumb as they both started to walk towards the food court, “It’s just that she needed a place to stay in.”

She then looked up at Edge and smiled, “Anyways, it’s not like she’s staying with us for a long time.”

“And Here I Thought You Humans Viewed Time Differently Than Us Monsters. 6 Months Truly Doesn’t Feel Too Long, But She May As Well Make It Feel That Way. I Feel As If She’d Get Tormented By Everyone Else.” Said Edge as he grinned .

“It’s what she deserves after our time at the sorority.” Mumbled Anna.

“Sorry?”

“Nothing! Anyways look, they have burgers available there!”

”Oh For The Last Time Burgers Are a Stain Upon This Earth—“

Notes:

Hehehehe. I’ve decided the horrible decision of attempting to add depth to Anna.

Will I succeed? Who knows!

Anywayssss!! OoOoOoOoOo hints at characters pasts OOoOoOooOoOoOoOoO

Anna isn’t quite mean currently 😁😁😁

I like to think that Edge would rather be quiet and intimidating in public. But loud and crass in private! I’m pulling all of these characterizations out of my ass all I know is that I wanna have fun

I hope Tanya is likeable enough? You guys will get to see a more nuanced side of her soon enough it’s just that writing her like this is just really fun.

Also please don’t be shy! Do comment your opinions and stuff they encourage me to write!

Chapter 3: 3

Summary:

THE GIRLS ARE FIGHTINGGG (No not those girls)

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Ugh! What was it with rich men who thought they could buy their way into Tanya’s heart? The nerve!

Turns out, the guy she had a date with was another one of those rich good looking men whose personalities consist of owning boring expensive watches and yachts.

The guy had the nerve to ask her if she could be a yacht girl.

Tanya didn’t like cursing but FUCK that!

She grumbled into her pillow annoyed. One day she’d find a decent rich man! Just you wait!

She stood up from her bed to stare down at the city beneath her. She’d been camping out at some luxury hotel for a few weeks. She was a lucky girl because her dad had decided to pay for the expenses!

Technically, Tanya could just move into Anna's mansion now and spare her father the few expenses but it only now settled in that she’d have to live with ten other strangers.

So maybe she was impulsive! Maybe she was a bit excited at the thought of being with Anna again! And maybe she was regretting this decision a tiiiiiny bit. Realistically she could’ve just bought another house or rented whatever apartment space she could find. But, she didn’t! But she’s already signed the papers and Tanya did not like going back on her word anyway.

It’s been yeaaars, since Anna last talked to her. Which, admittedly, made Tanya a bit bummed out. She thought that they had a special connection! But after graduation Anna kind of disappeared.

It was probably just Anna being the social recluse that she was. It was a wonder how she managed to tolerate that amount of people in her house!

UGH, it was so boring! Most of her friends were too busy to hang out, and Tanya’s mother was out of the country (somewhere in Europe) and her father was all the way in Japan! So she couldn’t bother them either. That left her older brothers, Jason and Steven. But Steven had gifted her her pink corvette so she’d lay off from being annoying (for now) and Jason had a pregnant wife to take care of!

On second thought, maybe being surrounded by obnoxious rich men would’ve been more entertaining than this.

Unlessssssss…. She gives the mansion a visit! It wouldn’t hurt wouldn’t it? She was already going to live in the place either way! May as well get a proper feel as to how it would be to stay in the place.

She hurried to grab her phone atop her bed and quickly dialed Anna’s number.

“Hello?”

“Anna!”

“Oh hi Tanya!”

“I’m gonna go give the mansion a visit is that okaaaay?”

Tanya heard faint shouting in the background and it weirdly sounded like Edge if his voice was just a tiiiiiny bit more pitched.

“Oh! Yeah sure sure. The place isn’t as clean as it was when you got here though.”

“No problemoooo. I’ll be on my way!”

——————————————-

 

“You… weren’t kidding when you said the place was messy!” Said Tanya, looking at the overall chaos of her surroundings. There were for some reason a number of cracked pots and pans on the floor, a laundry basket fallen in the corner with its clothes spilling out. To her right the TV that she was sure was still pristine and clean the last time she saw it had a gigantic crack on the screen.

She doubts anyone has noticed her so far. Everyone else was too busy yelling at each other. Was this a normal occurrence?

Tanya looks over to Anna who looks as calm as ever as she gave Tanya a bashful smile, “Yeah, uhm… something happened last night so it’s got everyone a bit nervous”

“BY STARS! HOW MANY TIMES DO WE HAVE TO REPEAT TO NOT MESS WITH THE THING ANYMORE?” Tanya recognized the voice from earlier from her call with Anna. His voice seemed to carry so far into the house.

“Diiid I come in a bad time?” Asked Tanya. Anna smiled, “No, this is a normal occurrence! I promise you it’s not as bad as it seems.”

“Alrrriiighttt, I’ll take your word for it. Hey, why don’t you show me your room? I couldn’t see it last time.”

“Sure! Although, it’s not exactly that pretty. Not everyone can live off of daddy’s money.”

Tanya giggled, “True! I sure am lucky.”

For whatever reason a look of annoyance crossed Anna’s features but was immediately schooled into a friendlier expression.

As they walked, Tanya couldn’t help but be amused by how… odd the house was in general. It was actually pretty big! And this was coming from Tanya. Some parts of the house would be nice and spotless whilst in other parts she’d see papers draped haphazardly on tables and what seemed to be blueprints! Someone must be an engineer of sorts.

“Oi Anna. Where the fuck you’ve been? Been lookin everywhere—“ A skeleton wearing a black jacket with red accents suddenly peeked out of a doorway.

“Oh! Hi Red! Maybe you’d find me quicker if you weren’t avoiding the fight downstairs.” Quipped Anna.

Tanya stood next to her smiling, “Hi! My name’s Tanya! We’ll be roommates soon, nice to meet you!” She greeted as she held her hand out for Red to shake

Red raised an eyebrow— whatever the skeleton equivalent is at her hand and scoffed, “Fucking hell. You really do look like a bimbo.” He commented mildly.

Oh!

“Oh!”

Okay!

So!

Okay!

You know what? Screw him! She’d take that title with pride, “Thank you! Men usually go crazy over the fact.” She purred.

“I’m sure they do.” Red said snidely.

Tanya squinted her eyes at Red and crossed her arms, “Anna, I’m sorry but your boyfriend here doesn’t seem to like me that much doesn’t he.”

Anna laughed, “Oh, Red’s just like that with new people.”

“And What Is Happening Here?” A smooth deep voice suddenly interrupted.

Tanya looked back to see another skeleton with the same height as Red. Anna and Red tensed.

“None of yer business.” Said Red gruffly. The new skeleton tilted his head subtly, his smile never wavering.

Tanya held out her hand, “I’m Tanya! Nice to meet you. I’m gonna be moving in here tomorrow. Although you probably already know that.”

Wine’s grin widened by a fraction, “No, I Didn’t. In Fact, I Too Just Moved In.”

“Really? I— I didn’t know someone else was also like, moving in too. Is—is he one of your boyfriends or?…” Said Tanya as she looked at Anna confused.

Wine interrupted before Anna could reply, “No. I’m Not One Of Her ‘Boyfriends’ Stars Knows How… Unique They Are. ”

Red scoffed, “Yer not slick you cunt. What the fuck are you even doing here? Sans is supposed to give you the basic ru—“

“I Am Not Stupid. I Am Aware Of What Rules I Have To Grudgingly Obey.”

Okaaaaaaaaay. This was weird right? This was weird! She certainly had very unique housemates. But she wasn’t about to complain! Weird makes life more interesting after all, right? Life is all about perspective and maybe it’s time for Tanya to embrace change—

“You know what! This— yeah no this seems to be a bad time to visit Tanya.” Said Anna as she then dragged Tanya by the hand downstairs heading for the front door.

“But I’ve only been here for like ten minutes!” Whined Tanya.

“You’ll be moving in here tomorrow! See you by then!”

Then the door was shut.

Dammit! It was still 12 in the afternoon and now Tanya has nothing left to do…

…Other than getting matcha and shopping for jewelry!

Notes:

Tanya’s doing her best to mentally justify this very impulsive decision

If I get the timelines for this fic confused kindly ignore that HAHAHWHS

Anyways!! I’ve tricked all of you into reading my extremely self indulgent Wine/Reader fic /hj

I’m sorry but he’s so fucking hot cmon now Fellswap Gold is like one of my favourite ever iterations of fellswap (mainly because the art is just lovely and Wine is hot)

Notes:

I DON’T LIKE THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE RAAAAH!!!!

Anyways English isn’t my first language and I don’t like punctuation and I don’t like writing stories (lie)

The possibility of me actually finishing this story is so abysmally low don’t have any hopes I’m SORRY