Chapter Text
Seungmin is just a normal person with a normal schedule and normal friends. Well, except for the fact that he’s a kpop idol and his closest friends are his fellow members. That part is a bit more exciting than normal. But still, he’s normal considering his circumstances.
His normal schedule consists of waking up in the morning, eating a good breakfast (because breakfast is the most important meal of the day), going to work, having lunch, hanging out with his friends (aka his members), going home, eating dinner, and going to bed, just to wake up the next morning and do it all over again. Nothing too special.
His personality is pretty normal too. He’s on the quieter side, but one of his favorite things to do is to tease and mess with his members. His hyungs get the worst of it of course. He has to be a good hyung to his only dongsaeng in the group after all. He takes advantage of being the second youngest of the group, knowing that this means he has maknae privileges without having to actually be the maknae of the group. Most of the cuddles and cuteness aggression of his members goes to Jeongin, but he gets out of trouble easily because he is one of the youngest of the group. It’s great.
So as you can see, his life is pretty normal, and that makes him feel at ease. Having a routine, knowing that things are just as they should be. He is happy as long as things stay that way.
He continues on with his normal life, feeling good and having fun with his members, even feeling a bit excited because his birthday is coming up. Life is good. Until everything comes crashing down on him.
—
It starts like any one of his normal days. He wakes up at 8:30, gets out of bed, washes his face and brushes his teeth, changes his clothes for the day, and then heads to the kitchen for breakfast. This is where things start to seem weird .
Usually he’ll go into the kitchen, still empty and quiet because Felix sleeps a bit later than Seungmin does. He’ll make himself some coffee, find some food, and sit at the table, slowly eating and sipping at his coffee until eventually Felix comes out of his room, completely disheveled as if he’d just rolled out of bed. Then, he’ll join Seungmin at the table with his own food and a glass of juice.
This morning however, things went nothing like that.
This morning when Seungmin leaves his room, Felix is already in the kitchen, fully dressed and ready for the day. Not only that, but he’s already eaten, putting his empty plate and cup in the sink to be washed later.
Weird .
Seungmin stands at the entrance to the kitchen for a moment, frozen in confusion. Eventually he snaps out of it and walks into the kitchen, trying to go about his day as he normally would even if Felix is doing things a little differently.
He speaks with a small, teasing smile on his face. “You decide to get an early start for a change Lix hyung?”
Felix doesn’t look at him as he replies, voice lacking its usual bright and bubbly warmth.
“Something like that.”
Seungmin looks at him, quietly wondering if he might have done something to upset Felix. He shrugs it off though, assuming he might’ve slept poorly or something. But he had this feeling in the back of his mind…
“Oh, okay. Well… Have a good day then.”
Felix doesn’t respond, already leaving the kitchen before Seungmin could even finish his sentence.
—
The next few days are… Strange. Normal is nowhere to be seen as Seungmin quickly notices that it’s not just Felix that’s acting off. It’s everyone. Every time he enters the room where his members are, it gets quiet. They’ve all been acting cold towards him, barely saying anything to him if they speak to him at all. When they do speak their voices are sharp and even harsh at times. He doesn’t know what he’s done to upset them, but Seungmin, the one in the group who can usually be counted on to be confident in himself, is afraid of the answer he might get if he asks.
Did I go too far with the teasing? What if they decided that I’m annoying or too hard to deal with? What if they kick me out of the group? Can they do that? Would I even want to stay if I’m not wanted, or-
“Seungmin, come on let’s go.”
Seungmin snaps out of his spiraling thoughts at the sound of a cold voice, all too familiar after the last couple of days. It’s almost as if it’s the new normal. He looks up to see Minho staring at him blankly as always. You can never really tell what he’s thinking, and his voice can come across harshly to people who aren’t too familiar with him. But Seungmin hasn’t been able to tell if he’s imagining the way he seems to be genuinely annoyed by him lately. It feels as if as his thoughts get worse, so does the way his members seem to speak to and look at him. Seungmin doesn’t really know what to think anymore. Everything feels wrong.
“What?”
Minho sighs heavily and raises an eyebrow at him. When he speaks he sounds bothered by the fact that Seungmin didn’t know what was happening.
“Let’s go. We’re all sharing a couple vans back to the dorms, so unless you want to walk back to yours I suggest you hurry up and get going with the rest of us.”
With that he huffs and turns on his heel, joining the others as they leave the dance studio.
Seungmin gets up quickly, feeling his shirt still sticking to him after the intense dance practice they just had. He grabs his bag and slings it over his shoulder, then picks up his water bottle before jogging out the door. He catches up to the rest of the group but hangs back a bit, hearing them joking around and laughing with each other. He knows that if he joins the group fully it’ll stop, and if he’s being honest he kinda misses the sounds of their laughter. He misses just being with them without feeling anxious and excluded. It’s only been a few days, but it feels like years, and he really doesn't know what to do about it. Seungmin thrives in his normal life, his normal routine. But that normal doesn’t seem to exist for Seungmin anymore.
They reach the vans that are going to be taking them home and Seungmin climbs into the very back, wanting to stay out of everyone’s way. Once he’s settled into his seat he leans against the window, looking outside as he now tries to block out the quiet, happy chatter around him.
As the van starts moving he tries to empty his mind, but he can’t stop his brain from thinking. He thinks about the last few days. He thinks about his members. He thinks about why he can withstand all the hateful comments about him online, but when his members push him aside for a few days he can’t stop himself from overthinking every little thing he might have done. It shouldn’t make sense, but it also does in a weird, messed up way. Of course the opinions that actually mean something to him would be the ones held by those closest to him.
Seungmin sighs quietly and closes his eyes, feeling exhausted because of everything that has changed in such a short amount of time. It seems that he may have taken normal for granted, and now that it’s gone, well… He’s definitely struggling.
They finally reach the building where their dorms are and Seungmin gets out of the van after everyone else. He follows Felix to the door of their place quietly, just wanting to shower and curl up in bed. If anything is still normal, it’s the comfort that his warm bed gives him. That at least hasn’t changed and it helps him feel a little better at the end of the day. Felix unlocks the door and walks in before Seungmin, taking off his shoes at the entrance and dropping his keys and phone on the kitchen counter as he walks to his room. Seungmin takes his shoes off as well, and as he heads to his room to put his stuff down, Felix leaves his room with a change of clothes and enters the bathroom to shower. Seungmin stops walking, staring at the closed bathroom door and internally sighing as he realizes he’s gonna have to wait until Felix is done to take a shower. Okay, well... It is what it is.
Just as he starts moving towards his room again, he hears faint buzzing sounds, short and continuous. He looks around, trying to figure out what it is. That’s when he sees it. Felix’s phone is still on the kitchen counter. Seungmin stares at it for a moment, debating with himself. He doesn’t want to invade one of his members' privacy, but… This could potentially give him answers that he’s been too afraid to ask his members for.
He stands there for a few minutes, listening to the faint sound of the shower as he deals with his internal conflict. Felix usually takes awhile in the shower after dance practices as heavy as this one, probably using the hot water to properly unwind. Seungmin has time. He finally makes a decision. He turns and walks into his room, dropping his bag on the floor next to his desk. Then he walks right back out of his room and to the kitchen before he can chicken out and change his mind. He stares at the phone, still buzzing with messages. He feels nervous, his hands shaky as he reaches out to grab the phone. He takes a few deep breaths, trying (unsuccessfully) to calm his pounding heart. Then he does it. He flips the phone over so the screen is facing him, puts in the passcode that Felix trusted all of his members with, and opens the message thread that is blowing up.
The 7 Dwarfs
Happy (Felix)
- Taking a shower as soon as I get inside, I’ll catch up on the chat when I’m out
Doc (Chan)
- Okay Lixie, take your time :)
Dopey (Han)
- okay gang how are we gonna keep seungmin away from us tomorrow
Sneezy (Changbin)
- Wow, straight to business then I guess
Dopey (Han)
- im just trying to get things done
- theres too much to do and if we dont figure it out he’ll just slow us down
Grumpy (Minho)
- Hannie is right, we can’t have him getting in the way.
Bashful (Hyunjin)
- Is someone gonna have to stay with him? Cause if that’s the case then I don’t wanna do it.
- My creative skills can be put to much better use
Doc (Chan)
- I would offer but I don’t trust you guys to do things properly without supervision… :|
Grumpy (Minho)
- Yah, I’ll be there!!
Doc (Chan)
- Minho, I’m afraid I’ll return to 6 unalived children.
Grumpy (Minho)
- …
Dopey (Han)
- that lack of an answer from minho hyung scares me
- dont leave us to his mercy channie hyung!
Sleepy (Jeongin)
- ig I can stay with him if no one else wants to
Bashful (Hyunjin)
- Awwww, our sweet baby always so thoughtful
Sneezy (Changbin)
- Okay, so it’s settled then?
- Jeongin is gonna keep Seungmin away so we can get things done in peace without worrying about him coming in and messing everything up
You think you know someone.
You think you do, until you realize you don’t.
How could I be so blind?
He never expected this kind of betrayal. Not from his best friends. Not from his family…
It turns out that the very people you love more than anything in this world are the ones that will hurt you the most.
Seungmin drops the phone on the counter, unable to keep reading even though messages are still coming through, though at a much slower rate now. He feels like he can’t breathe. Is this real? Is he really just a burden to them? It seems like he’s just holding them back. He really doesn’t know anything anymore.
Shaking and feeling a strange sense of emptiness in his chest, Seungmin walks to his room. He closes the door. He lays down in bed pulling the covers up over him, not caring that he’s still in his sweaty practice clothes. He lies there, unable to sleep. Trembling and unable to move. Feeling like his world has turned upside down. Knowing that his world has crumbled around him, leaving him with nothing but the hollow remains of destruction.
He was wrong about everything.
There really is no more normal.