Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

• Starscream: Well, you know what they say! Can’t bake a pie without losing a dozen vehicons.

• Bulkhead: Close your eyes, bro.

  Wheeljack: Ok?

  Bulkhead: What can you see?

  Wheeljack: Nothing.

  Bulkhead: That’s my life without you bro 🥹

  Wheeljack: Bro… 😭

• Starscream: Trying to lure me into a false sense of security? Well joke’s on you, I’ve never felt secure a day in my life.

• Cliffjumper: Whatcha' eating?

  Arcee: It’s really bitter, you wouldn't like it.

  Cliffjumper: I like you, so-

• Starscream, about to have surgery: Is this going to hurt?

  KO: Oh, I won’t feel a thing.

  KO: Ha, and you say I can’t tell a joke! No but seriously this is going to be incredibly painful.

• Ratchet on synth-en: My leitmotif is about to reprise.

  Arcee: In the original major key, right?

  Arcee: RIGHT?!

• Wheeljack: Oh these aren't homemade, they were made in a factory. A bomb factory. They’re bombs.

• Starscream: You think you can mock me, when I could end your life?

  Miko: Yeah, yeah, so could another bot.

  Miko: So could a dog.

  Miko: So could a DEDICATED DUCK!

  Bulkhead: Ok let’s go.

  Miko, being carried away: YOU AREN'T SPECIAL!

• Starscream: I sued a nine year old and won.

  Knock Out: I challenged a nine year old to a basketball game and won.

  Breakdown: I challenged a nine year old to a deadlift competition. And. Won.

  Raf: I had the worst day of my life-

• Wheeljack: You know, having a loaded gun inside is less dangerous than having a ladder. That’s why I own ten guns. In case some maniac tries to sneak in a ladder.

• Jack working at the drive-through: Have you been helped, sir?

  Cliffjumper: By so many, throughout my entire life.

  Jack: :)

  Cliffjumper: :)

• Nurse Darby: Coke can strip rust off of metal. Imagine what it’s doing to your body!

  Bulkhead: Getting rid of the rust?

  Nurse Darby: No-

  Miko: Idk, I’ve been drinking Coke for years and my body is rust-free.

• KO: The door’s locked. Starscream, give me your energon card.

  Starscream: Fine. Be quick.

  KO, pocketing it: Thanks. BD, kick the door down.

• Airachnid: I have brought you here because I crave the most dangerous game…

  Bee and Smokescreen (nodding): Knife Monopoly.

  Airachnid: … Actually I was going to hunt you for sport but now I really want to know what Knife Monopoly is.

• Megatron: It’s too late, foolish Autobots! You’ll never stop me now!

  Optimus: That’s where you're wrong, evil-doer! We’ll stop you with the powers of…

  Bulkhead: Friendship!

  Arcee: Harmony!

  Ratchet on Synth-en: Incredible violence.

  Bee: And love!

• Bulkhead: I’ve only known Miko for fifteen minutes, but if anything happens to her, I’m offlining everyone in the room and then myself.

• Raf: Weren't you killed?

  Bee: Sadly, yes. But I lived!

• Raf: Why would you give Miko a knife??

  Wheeljack: She felt unsafe.

  Raf: Well now I feel unsafe!

  Wheeljack: Would you like a knife?

• Arcee: Alright, what would you do if I was evil and ran at you really fast?

  Cliffjumper: My arms are strong. I would catch you and hug you.

• Megatron possessed by Unicron:

  Getting controlled and disregarded:

  Getting threatened and losing his voice:

  Megatron:

  Megatron: Am I the problem-

  Basically everyone and Knock Out: OF COURSE YOU ARE!!

• Breakdown, smitten over Airachnid: Trust me bro, I can fix her.

  Knock Out: No you can’t, bro.

  Knock Out, later standing over a murdered Breakdown: Bro…

• Ratchet on synth-en: Hm. Am I going too far?

  Arcee: No, you went too far about 7 hours ago. Now you’re going to die.

• Ratchet: Everytime you yell at your kids, put a quarter in your No Yelling sock and soon you’ll have a weapon to beat your kids-

• Airachnid: I told myself if I wasn’t a star by 30, I was just gonna become a serial killer.

  Breakdown:

  Breakdown: Well girl, how old are you, I’m getting nervous.

• Response to getting stabbed:

  Knock Out: Rude.

  Airachnid: That’s fair.

  Megatron: Not again.

  Breakdown: Will you want this back or can I keep it?

• Arcee: (internally) What the frag, is he checking me out?

  Knock Out: (internally) Her plating is like a mirror, and I look great.

• Smokescreen: ‘Road work ahead?’ Yeah, I sure hope it does!

• Post Predacons rising:

  Bumblebee, crying: I’m such an idiot!

  Knock Out, comforting him: No… There, there.

  Bumblebee, still crying: I miss my dad.

  Knock Out: Ah, that’s deeper than I wanted to go.

  Bee, crying harder:

  Knock Out: Waitwait-

• Airachnid, mockingly: Are mechs under 30 feet even real mechs?

  Knock Out: >:(

  (Breakdown appears, sets a crown on KO’s head)

  Breakdown: The shorter the king, the taller the crown, brother.

  Knock Out: :o

• Optimus: If you see any humans-

  Autobot Starscream: Stomp them.

  Optimus: Hide. If you see any humans, hide.

• KO: I didn’t ask to be born perfect.

  KO: I demanded it.

• Starscream, learning Acree escaped from the Decepticon prison: How do you LOSE a FEMME?

  Vehicons:

  Vehicons: You forget to cherish her…

  Starscream: ARGH!!

• Arcee: You’re “joining the winning team?” You realize that’s the lowest, most despicable reason to join us, right?

  KO: …Your insignia is also more fashionable?

  Arcee:

  Arcee: Only slightly better.

• Ratchet: (gets stabbed)

  Ratchet: It’ll take more than a poke in the ribs to put down this old bot!

  (gets stabbed again)

  Ratchet: Yeah, that oughta do it.

• How I imagine a Knock Out/Arcee story would go:

  Arcee, disturbed: I think I’m in love with Knock Out.

  Arcee: …Any thoughts?

  Ratchet: And prayers. You’re going to need them.

• Arcee: Airachnid killed my partner.

  Starscream: What?? She took credit for THAT?!

  Arcee: ...What?

  Narrator: It was at this moment, he knew. He fragged up.

   

• (Fragment of my au where BD and KO become Autobots. Arcee is heading on a mission.)

  KO: Hey. Be safe.

  Arcee: ...I will :)

  (She leaves)

  Breakdown:

  Breakdown, mockingly: Be safe...

  Bulkhead, teasingly: I'll be so safe...

  KO: >:( Will you two shut up? I'll kill you.

  Breakdown, still mocking: But how would that keep us safe??

• The fandom to Starscream: When will you learn?? When will you learn?? THAT YOUR ACTIONS HAVE CONSEQUENCES?!?

• Bumblebee seeing Raf drive a toy car that looks just like him: Is this a new best friend?

• Knock Out: Recently, it’s like… I have this voice in my mind telling me right from wrong, how to act.

  Ratchet: Sounds like your conscience.

  KO, disturbed: I know, it’s not like me.

• Ratchet: Did you just call me old?

  KO, mockingly: Yeah? So what?

  Ratchet: (calmly removes medical gloves) Well junebug, I really prefer the word- EXPERIENCED! (Wrecks Decepticon tailpipe)

• An A+ Autobot Starscream trope:

  Optimus: Could you help me for a moment?

  Starscream: Of course Master.

  Starscream:

  Optimus:

  Everyone:

  Starscream: Actually I am going to scout for energon and I will never be back.

  Optimus: Waitwait-

• Megatron post Predacons Rising, advising Bee on running New Cybertron: As head of the Decepticons, I just killed any criminals.

  Bee: So I should kill them??

  Megatron: Hm…

  Megatron: Probably not.

  Ratchet, appearing: Probably?!

• Breakdown: I cut off Optimus Prime in traffic and he gave me a thumbs down instead of the finger. …I don’t know why but it hurt more.

  KO: He gave you the “I’m not mad, just disappointed.”

• Starscream as a sparkling: M… m…

  Starscream’s mom: !! He’s about to say Mama! :D

  Starscream: M… MEGATRON HAS FALLEN! I, STARSCREAM-

• Bee: The horrors persist. Yet I remain silly.

• Friend: You ok?

  Me internally: Dreadwing had to know that by giving the Autobots the forge and disobeying Megatron’s order not to kill Starscream that he was condemning himself to die. He could have seen new Cybertron if only he chose to forgive the Autobots for needing to kill Skyquake, but that was the one thing such a noble mech was not brave enough to do.

  Me externally: Yeah for sure.

• Breakdown: I love the saying “They get along like a house on fire.” It’s perfect. You and me have perfect chemistry and it’s setting off carbon monoxide detectors. People are calling emergency services to get us to stop being so chummy. Someone died.

• Knock Out in Predacons Rising: In response to not getting the attention I deserve I have decided to help the Autobots on purpose.

• Miko texting Jack and Raf a picture she snuck of Optimus: He is sooo pookie 🥰🤗😻

  Ratchet reading over her shoulder: Optimus is pookie?!

• After Miko made the choice to introduce Wheeljack to Vine:

  Miko: Ugh, I gotta go home and weed-

  Wheeljack: Is that a weed?? I’m calling the police!!

  Later, Wheeljack talking with Ultra Magnus:

  Miko: Is that a police?? I’m calling the weed!!

  Ultra: -_-

• Ultra Magnus: Just because I do not drink doesn’t mean I’m no fun. That is a separate choice. Which I’ve also made.

• Smokescreen choosing a shiny racing car for his disguise: If I had a penny for every time I wasn’t cool, I would have NO PENNIES. (zooms across the highway like a boss)

• Me when a bumblebee lands on my window: Is that a transformers reference

• KO: Why do you suppose we’re here?

  BD: Because we were ordered here.

  KO: No, I mean here in the Nemesis.

  BD: Because the Nemesis can support life?

  KO: No, I mean why are we anywhere? Why do we exist??

  BD: Because we were born??

  KO: Forget it.

  BD: I will, thank you.

• Optimus: That was horrible! Your war is horrible! YOU’RE HORRIBLE! You’re an irredeemable MONSTER!

  Megatron: What took you so long, glitch?

• Megatron: I’m gonna rip you apart!

  (Gets dunked by Unicron)

  Megatron: I wanna apologize.

• Optimus: There are times… that I still miss Megatron.

  Optimus: (loads machine gun) But my aim is getting better.

• Basically Soundwave’s capture:

  Optimus: Why is Megatron stealing human technology?

  Soundwave: WhY iS mEgAtRoN sTeAlInG hUmAn TeChNoLoGY-

• Smokescreen: Aw, you guys would look cute together!

  KO: Oh, no, we’re just frie-

  Arcee: Ew!

  KO: O-O

  Arcee: He’s like another brother, he’s so ugly. No absolutely not he is so ugly why was he even born why do I have to share a planet with him-

  KO: He gets it, darling.

• Smokescreen making a dash for the Star Saber and immediately getting captured: The risk I took was calculated. But boy am I bad at math.

• Starscream getting his T-cog stolen after teaming up with the guys who steal T-cogs: 🎶 How could this happen to meeee~

Chapter Text

Basically Sick Mind:

Megatron: GET OUT OF MY HEAD GET OUT OF MY HEAD GET OUT OF MY HEAD GET OUT OF MY HEAD GET OUT OF MY HEAD-

Bee: Cheddar :)

Knock Out: 🎶 I just want you for my own~

Arcee: 🎶 Please leave me the scrap alone~

Megatron to the kids: I’ll destroy you and all of your pathetic kind!!

June: (Smacks Megatron.)

June: Don’t. touch. ma. child.

Ratchet: (smack) Don’t touch da child!

All Autobots, overlapping: Don’t touch da child! (Smack smack)

Arcee looks around, notices Starscream: He’s touching ma child!

Optimus: YOU ARE TOUCHING THE CHILD?!

Starscream: NO!!

(Smacksmacksmacksmacksmack)

Miko: Does anyone here know how to render really good?

Wheeljack: I can render my enemies immobile.

Miko: I was thinking for 3D computer rendering but I’ll keep you in mind.

Knock Out post Predacons Rising: Your turn to do the dishes.

Basically any Autobot: Didn’t you try to kill me?

Basically any Autobot: I think it’s always your turn.

Vehicons talking among themselves: And I fired. And I missed. And I fired. And I missed. This went on for several hours.

Starscream: What- what is this? What is this?!

Fans: Something your father clearly never gave you. A hug.

Starscream: (sobbing)

Jack: Welcome to KO Burgers… Let me guess, a burger? (Passes out)

Megatron on Dark Energon: Drugs?

Optimus: No thanks, we’re good.

Starscream on Red Energon: Drugs??

Optimus: This is awkward- NO, thank y-

Ratchet on Synth-En: DRUGS??

Optimus: Who- who gave you that-?

Vehicons: 🎶Fiddle-de-do, fiddle-de-dad. I’m doing my best, my best is just bad.🎶

Ratchet on Synth-En: (sigh) Dude… Let’s kill Megatron.

Optimus: WHAT??

Ratchet: I’M SO TIRED MAN-

Narrator about Breakdown being captured by MECH: Scrap, bro’s situation is so bad even the opps are concerned.

Knock Out: More espresso, less depresso.

Starscream: (chugs red energon) I’m still depressed but now I’m fast-

Predaking coming up with his name: People who say ‘No pun intended’ are weak. Intend your pun, cowards.

Bulkhead texting Miko: I got to hold a cat!

Miko texting back: :) Did it purr?

Bulk: It vibrated and made a weird noise. It was fun.

(A bit from Tim Hawkins, great comedian, look him up)

Raf swearing: What the hay, snot, bullsnot, boogersnot, FARTKNOCKER!

Miko: (immediately miming knocking at the door while making fart noises)

Jack: Ew, a spider.

Arcee: (loads machine gun)

Breakdown, watching Airachnid pass by:

Breakdown to Knock Out: Hear me out-

KO: No!

Bee: This is- so dumb.

Autobot Starscream, perched on his shoulders: The higher I am, the farther I can see.

Bee: You can- You can fly-

Starscream: Hush now, I am seeking.

Ratchet: You two, stay here.

Bee: 👌

Ratchet: How… How did you say that out loud?

Raf: 😋🤙

All the Redemption Arcs AU:

Optimus: You are spotted by humans. What do you do?

Breakdown: Kill them.

Optimus: No.

Knock Out: Flirt-

Optimus: No!

KO post Predacons Rising: The Predacons are causing trouble? I’ll poison in their energon source.

Bee: What- No! No, you will not!

KO: Ah, right. Because killing people...

KO: ...is wrong?

Bee: Yes it’s WRONG-

Miko ready to fight: You wanna scrapping go?!

Raf: Sorry my mom said no.

KO: You should really change your last name to mine ;)

Arcee: Oh wow you’d adopt me?

KO: What-

Arcee: Hey everybody KO is part of the family now and making dinner tonight.

KO: Wait no-

Bulkhead: You okay bro?

Wheeljack dangling in a trap wire: Yeah for sure

Bulkhead: Okay cool just checking

Bee: You’re supposed to finally be relaxing!

Optimus heading out to find the All-Spark: Namaste.

Bee: And you’re supposed to be dead!

Megatron: I got better.

Knock Out: Guess what? I have flaws. What are they? I sing in the shower, I cry during romantic comedies. I spend too much time volunteering, I-

Arcee: KO, you've been a Decepticon for thousands of years.

Knock Out: Okay and OCCASIONALLY, I commit war crimes. Are you happy?

Raf: According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way that a bee should be able to fly. Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground. The bee, of course, flies anyway. Because bees don't care what humans think is impossible.

Chapter Text

Megatron: I came here to attack people and I’m honestly having such a good time right now.

Starscream trying to negotiate with the Predacons at the end of the movie: I don’t think you realize how important I am to the plot! You can kill me off, but everyone would stop watching.

Knock Out when his paint gets scratched: I have been the victim… of a hate crime.

Dreadwing: That’s not what a hate crime is.

KO: Well I hated it! A lot!

Arcee: Turn on the Decepticons and I’ll give you a jar of polish.

KO: You’re on!

Dreadwing: Knock Out! The cause is worth more than a jar of polish!

KO: Oh yeah… (to Arcee) Make it two.

Vehicon: I don’t trust Breakdown. That bulky armor- What he hiding under that?

Other vehicon: Love.

Vehicon: Scrap. Dangit. You’re right. Frag-

KO: If you can’t beat them, look better than them.

Ratchet post Predacons Rising: You are not good enough for Arcee, and I don’t want you around her. End. Of. Story.

KO:

KO: 🎶🎤 So why don’t you give me one more chance-

Ratchet: (slams door)

Raf at the start of season 3: It’s only over if we give up!

Ratchet: Well it’s over and we’re giving up.

Knock Out: Don’t invite me to your wedding. I’ll look better than you and it will be embarrassing for us all.

Bulkhead and Bumblebee after a successful mission, going to hug Autobot Starscream:

Starscream, pulling out his missles: Gah! Get back, you SAVAGES!

Optimus: Sorry, sorry. He’s not used to positive feedback.

Ratchet: What, are you just going to go up to Unicron and ask him nicely to ‘please stop destroying the universe??’

Optimus:

Ratchet: …Scrap. You are.

Bulkhead: (breaks window to take a relic before the Decepticons)

Bulkhead: Vandalism is wrong, Miko.

Miko: Okay :)

Knock Out: Put your hands up! This is a mockery!

Bulkhead: …Don’t you mean a robbery?

Breakdown: DoN’t YoU mEaN a RoBbErY-

Starscream in Shadowzone: 🎶She took my arm🎶 I don’t know how it happened🎶

Arcee spiraling over all the work to do for the restored Cybertron:

Knock Out: No… Hey, it’s not your fault…

Arcee: You’re right… It’s not my fault! (Whips around) It’s YOUR fault!

Knock Out: Take. It. Off.

Breakdown, wearing a fresh coat of red paint: I. Would. Rather. Die.

KO: THEN YOU WILL DIE!! (Chases Breakdown as the vehicons cheer wildly)

Chapter Text

Vehicon: Bro, if your leg got cut off- would it hurt?

Other vehicon: …Duh??

Vehcion: Where you gonna feel the pain?

Other vehicon: In your le- Ohhh-

Vehcion: Exactly. How you gonnna feel the pain in your leg-

Both: If your leg is gone?? 🤯

Knock Out: I’m not doing repairs on you two.

Knock Out and Starscream stuck on a mission together: 🎶There’s been some confusion for you see my teammate is…

Knock Out: 🎶Unusually and exceedingly peculiar and altogether quite impossible to describe…

Starscream: … A grounder 😒

Knock Out: Would you rather… fight a bunch of sparklings or…

Breakdown: I wanna fight sparklings.

KO: No, that wasn’t the whole ques-

BD: Those kids are getting slapped.

Wheeljack: Oh, you naive fool. You’ve fallen right into my trap. You see, when you asked me who I was talking to, and I said “Joe”… I was aware you’ve never met a Joseph before. So I knew you would ask… “Who’s Joe?”

Joe never existed. He’s a figment of your imagination. So when you asked me who Joe was, I responded with- “Joe MAMA!” To make it seem as if I had an intimate relationship with your mother! AHAHAHAHA!

Ratchet: I know you snuck out, Smokescreen!

Miko: (whispering) Play dumb!

Smokescreen: Who’s Smokescreen?

Miko: Not that dumb!

Optimus to various Decepticons: Aren’t you tired of going ape? Don’t you just want to be nice?

Optimus: Have you considered just apologizing? That was pretty bad.

Starscream: But I’m not sorry.

Optimus: Hm. Alright, that definitely makes it harder.

Knock Out: We have your conjunx.

Arcee: I don’t have a conjunx??

Knock Out: Then who’s this guy who won’t stop yapping while we’re trying to interrogate him?!

Arcee: Scrap they have Cliffjumper-

Knock Out: Oh, you’re a villain alright. Just not a super one!

Starscream: Yeah?! What’s the difference?

Knock Out: (posing) Presentation! ✨🪩

Ratchet: Luckily, most of us have that little voice in our heads that goes:

“Nuh-uh-uh. Going up to a gladiatorial warlord and punching him in the face- is *counterproductive.*”

Airachnid stuck on the moon: Don’t think we can gaslight gatekeep girlboss our way out of this one.

Smokescreen: You’re ugly when you lie!

KO: I’m not lying! [this time]

Smokescreen: Then why are you ugly?!

KO: D:<<<

(The kids being held hostage)

Jack: Don’t do it, Optimus! Save the planet!

Optimus: But… you three are my planet 😔

Megatron (and maybe Ratchet also): Ew. First of all, shut up.

Miko: Slay! Slaaay~ slAY YOUR ENEMIES! RAISE UP YOUR ARMY! TAKE YOUR RIGHTFUL PLACE-

Smokescreen, walking Cybertronian refugees around the Nemesis: And this… is where our dear Bumblebee’s spark was extinguished.

Bee, from the other room: Quit telling everyone I’m dead!

Smokescreen: 😔 Sometimes I still hear his voice.

Smokescreen and Miko scheming for a prank:

Ratchet: (knocks on door) What are you two doing in there?

Miko, panicked: Uh- Synthen. Scrap-

Smokescreen: Girls always think that what guys are looking for is a pretty femme with shiny armor and blue optics. But all my boys out there know that what we’re really looking for-

Jack: Is Atlantis! An ancient city filed with treasure-

Both: THOUGHT TO BE LOST AT SEA BY POSEIDON!!

Miko at Knock Out: Bot with literally no drip and pizzaz 😒💅

(Knock Out frowns. Walks out, returns with Autobot insignia.)

Miko: Bot with *tremendous* drip and pizzaz 😄✨

Vehicons: Due to a miscalculation, misinterpretation, misabbreviation, and miscontextualization… we’re scrapped.

KO at the end of Predacons Rising: Let me just say, from the bottom of my heart… My bad.

Bulkhead: You are grounded for… Till college.

Miko: For till college?!

Bulkhead: For till college!!

Optimus to the kids: I have been awarded the Purple Heart, the Orange Star, the Blue Diamond, the Green Clover, and the Matrix of Leadership. And I am most proud  of… you.

Ratchet after the Synthen incident: I’m gonna let Primus handle it. Because if I handle it- I’m going to jail.

Megatron after being freed from Unicron: Did I go too far?

Knock Out: (deep breath) (pointing at all the destruction on Cybertron) Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes- (pointing at Megatron’s new armor) No. The golden highlights are awesome.

Autobots sending a message to the Nemesis: We captured Starscream. If you want him back, surrender one of your energon mines.

Starscream: How DARE you!

Starscream: I’m worth at least three energon mines.

Miko: Aw, I just heard that my neighbors are expecting!

Wheeljack, still unfamiliar with the intricacies of human language: Expecting what?

Miko: A kid.

Wheeljack: To do what?

Miko: …Nnnevermind.

Wheeljack: DON’T LEAVE ME HANGING, KID!!

Breakdown fans: He’s just resting.

Airachnid: In pieces! That bot is dead!

Fans: He’s so sleepy…

Breakdown: Can you give me a hand?

Knock Out, atop a tall stack of energon crates: Give me one good reason why I should.

Breakdown: I’ll get you a ladder.

Knock Out: That’ll do.

Starscream: I have suffered for millennia. Endured every bit of torment thrown at me. But this dagger in my back will forever remain and hurt the most.

Knock Out: Screamer, it’s just a draw two card.

Starscream: MEET ME IN THE PIT!

Chapter Text

Bulkhead, Bumblebee, and Arcee messing with their paint jobs to look red and blue:

(Cliffjumper walks in, arms folded)

Cliffjumper: I cannot believe you three would dress up in Optimus’ colors and pretend to be Optimus!

Cliffjumper: …Without me!

Megatron: In case you haven’t noticed, you’ve fallen right into my trap.

Optimus: You can’t trap justice. It’s an idea. A belief!

Megatron: But even the most heartfelt belief can be corroded over time.

Optimus: Justice is a non-corrosive metal.

Megatron: But it can be melted down in the heat of revenge!

Optimus: Your revenge has gotten cold!

Megatron: But it can easily be reheated in the microwave of EVIL!!

Optimus: Well I think your warranty is about to expire!

Megatron: Maybe I got an extended warranty!

Optimus: Warranties are INVALID if you don’t use the product for its intended purpose!

Knock Out: Gentlemen, gentlemen, you’re both pretty. Can I go home now?

Starscream after the events of Thirst: Well, we learned something from this.

Knock Out: Like what?

Starscream:

Starscream: Alright, we didn’t learn much. Sue me.

Knock Out: Live and don’t learn, that’s us :)

-Or-

Starscream: We learned something from this. ‘Zombie goons are bad news.’

Knock Out: (nods ponderingly)

Optimus: You’re driving and see Bulkhead and Arcee in the middle of the road. What do you hit?

Miko: Oh, Bulk for sure. He could take it.

Optimus: The breaks. Miko, hit the breaks.

Knock Out post Predacons Rising: Look, I’m not racing you through the Sea of Rust, it would ruin my paint job.

Smokescreen: Wow, Knock Out, you’re really. Blowing up the base of my dreams.

KO:

SS:

SS: It’s just seems

KO: Smokescreen.

Smokescreen: It just reminds me of the time-

KO: Smokescreen, please.

KO to Dreadwing and Breakdown: Guys, you’re both too valuable to risk! It should be someone expendable. Like Starscream.

Starscream: WHAT?!

Knock Out: Well, there is this one weapon, but I haven’t tested it yet…

Breakdown: Tests are easy. It’s answers that are hard.

Knock Out: I love you so much, let’s do it!

Megatron: Soundwave! Tap into their security camera.

Soundwave: Yes let me just pull up my: Tap Into Every Security Camera in Galaxy app.

Soundwave: Apologies if: that sounded like sarcasm. It wasn’t. I am in.

Ratchet on synthen: And we'll kill anyone who gets in our way!

Optimus: No, we will not kill anyone.

Ratchet: Kill some people.

Optimus: Kill NO people.

Ratchet: Kill one guy. One stupid vehicon who no one likes.

Bulkhead: Now you're just making it sad.

Knock Out: Whether I’m feeling #blessed or #stressed, I’m always looking my #best

Breakdown: This town is big enough for the two of us.

Knock Out: Doesn’t the saying normally go this town ISN’T big enough for the two of us?

Breakdown: Yeah, but we can share, I’m okay with it. You’re my best buddy anyway.

Both: Hehehehe- BEST FRIENDS!

Megatron though all of the Orion Pax saga: I’m gonna keep it false with you, man. I’m gonna lie to you.

Bulkhead: This is your new life! I mean- if you know how to kill.

Miko: Oh, I know how to kill ‘em. (Starts breakdancing)

Bulkhead: Ooh! Kill ‘em!

Autobot Starscream: Yes! We have defeated you for all time! You will never rise from the ashes of your shame and humiliation!

(Turns back to the others, who were just playing volleyball.)

Well that was fun :)

Bulkhead: You have 140 candies and share a third with me. How many do you have left?

Miko: None.

Bulk: Miko, you know that’s not-

Miko: I would give you all of them, because I love you.

Bulk: (holding back tears)

Bulk: If you don’t know the answer, you can say that.

Miko: I don’t know the answer 👉👈

Airachnid: We plan to hide out until we run out of energon. Then I say we eat the vehicons.

Steve: Hey! I’m generic, not deaf!

Airahncid: Shh… Stress will make you chewy.

Miko: We do a little tomfoolery!

Smokescreen, Bumblebee, and Wheeljack: Yeah!

Miko: We’re going silly mode!

SS, BB, WJ: Yeah!

Miko: We’re up to some buffoonery!

SS, BB, WJ: Yeah!

Miko: Doing nothing but clowning!

SS, BB, WJ: YEAH! 💥🎉🎉💥

Ratchet helping Miko with homework: Highlight the important things.

Miko: (puts a streak of highlighter on his face) :)

Ratchet:

Ratchet: Do your homework, child. (His spark is full to bursting)

Miko and Bulkhead rocking out:

Miko: 🎤I don’t want your money 🎶 And I don’t want your love! 🎶 I want one simple thing you’ve probably never heard of! 🎸When it hits the papers! the press will have a fit! It’s sweeping all the nations because it…. (Deep breath) is BANANA BREAD! 🤘🤘🤘🤘

Chapter Text

Fans at Starscream: He’s so ugly!

Fans: I love him 🥰

Smokescreen: He knocked that smug look off my face. But luckily, I was wearing a second, smaller smug look underneath.

Bulkhead: What?! After everything you put us through, you expect us to let you join just like that? Just like THAT?!

Knock Out: Yes.

Bulkhead: Fine.

Wheeljack: Seriously? You’re letting him go??

Bulkhead: He’s very persuasive.

Knock Out: Soundwave! Where’s your thing, you know, your: Emotionless Passion?

Soundwave, deadpan: Here.

Breakdown: (darkly) Did you finish the job?

Vehicon: (nervously) Can I have five more minutes?

Breakdown: You were supposed to kill him yesterday!

Vehicons chilling in the mines:

Wheeljack, with an armful of bombs: 🎶 you better watch out 🎶 you better wAtCh oUt 🎶 YOU BETTER WATCH OUT 🎶 YOU BETTER WATCH OUT 🎶

Megatron: The Autobots?! They’re still ALIVE?!

Starscream: Well, they’re not as dead as we might have hoped…