Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Red didn’t know what to expect out of Auradon. She’s only heard about it in the vaguest sense- disparaging comments about the weak willed kings and queens that thought bowing their heads were better than standing on their own two feet, independent and strong.

       After the rabbit hole was boarded up, no news came in or out, so it was pointless to ask or wonder. Wonderland was cut off as effectively as the new prison was for the fairytale villains. Red’s mother criticized that they couldn’t even handle their enemies properly, carting them off elsewhere instead of just doing away with them. Her mother’s response was nearly always to do away with the ones responsible for inconveniencing her.

       The first thing that Red discovers of Auradon, for herself, is that it is bright. The sun is in the sky, turning the world yellow and blue and filling it with colors Red has never seen before- at least not in such contrast. It immediately hurts her eyes, but she stares out the window anyway, unable to look away.

       She can’t help the squirming feeling in her stomach, either. It’s been sitting there since her mother accepted the invitation in her name. It’s a strange anticipation that she doesn’t like, because there is also the warning in her head that still doesn’t believe it for what it could be. A chance for freedom.

       Freedom doesn’t exist in Wonderland. Not even the illusion of it. Not even for the Queen’s daughter. Red wonders, as she watches the people flee at the sight of her mother’s car, if she’ll find it out here. She knows she won't, not in any real sense of the word.

       It doesn’t feel real as she follows her mother up the steps to her new school, standing stiff and trying to take everything in, but her brain keeps rebelling, trying to flee her body, and the world passes in blurred fragments.

       She sees more colors, more people, and the people are strange for the moment before they catch sight of her mom and they leap out of the way- as scared and demuring as they always are. For a brief moment, though, before they lie eyes on them, their faces are foreign. It takes her a while to place that it’s because they are soft. Smiling.

       Red tries to pay attention, but her vision is suddenly filled with blue blue blue, and the face it’s attached to is smiling and unafraid, and Red feels the urge to wipe that away-  to strike out and make that enthusiasm disappear.

       Doesn’t the girl know that it’s dangerous ? The girl must be an idiot, and she deserves what’s coming to her. Still, no one has smiled at her like that since…

       It is past regret that has Red urged to fix the girl’s error, quickly and efficiently wiping the grin from her face. She doesn’t know what she says. Something scathing, no doubt. It doesn’t matter. She no longer has the pining desire of wanting people to like her. It was stupid anyway.

       Red stares at the tables, lined with colorful treats in which people actually pick at, and the conversations and laughter stab at Red’s ears before their Wonderland presence becomes known. The colorful treats draw Red closer, but she’s very careful to keep her hands at her side. Partaking in the treats sometimes provided is outlawed in Wonderland, and her queen stands ridged and frowning right beside her.

       The Queen scoffs, eyes dragging along each individual with a furious scowl. Red resists flinching back when that gaze lands on her. “Don’t trust the smiles, Red. Everyone here is two-faced and fake, and are just waiting for you to show a glimpse of weakness for them to take advantage of. Remember that.”

       “Yes mother,” Red automatically agrees, and then promises herself again mentally that she won’t let herself care. No matter how else she might disagree with her mother, that has always been the thing the Queen tried to drill into her head. Because the Queen trusted and was betrayed, and Red might not know the story, but she knows that it is experience driving this lesson. That, in the only way she knows how, this is her mother’s way of keeping Red from making the same mistakes that she did.

       It all feels unreal again, confusing and glitching and like Red is dreaming. Except this day isn’t anything like her dreams, and her dreams feel more real than what she’s experiencing now. It’s like what she feels standing in the courtyard back home, watching the most recent execution. It’s like she’s waiting for the ax to swing, and she feels like she needs to be ready to chase after her head when it starts rolling.

       The world comes crashing back in, once the welcome speech is over and Red settles her bag carefully at the foot of her bed in her new room, and she turns to see her mother examining the pink plastered walls with a lidded glare.

       Red used to like the softness of pink, until she realized that it would always end up bathed in her namesake when she touched it.

       “I have a job for you, Red,” she says, and Red stiffens. As a part of her collapses in disappointment, the other sighs ‘finally,’ in relief. Waiting for the other boot to hit is usually worse than the actual kick.

       “I had big plans for today, but Auradon is… different than I remember it. Besides, there’s no point in throwing a coup if the king and queen of everything isn’t present for it.”

       Red’s heart ticks violently in her chest, echoing around her brain. “What do you want me to do about that?” Red asks, and it comes out sounding insolent, like a challenge.

       For once, her mother ignores her tone. “I want you , Red, to be my eyes and ears out here. You are my ticket out of Wonderland, and until the king returns, we will have to play nice. Use this time to learn what you can about the security measures, what threats Auradon might pose to us. And learn the power dynamics.”

       “But why,” Red blurts. “What do you even want Auradon for, you already have Wonderland?”

       Her mother’s eyes flash in fury, and Red recoils just before the back of her mother’s hand collides with her face, leaving a burning sensation and the taste of blood behind. She doesn’t know if it was from her mother’s long nails, or one of her dozens of rings. It hardly matters.

       Red’s hand flies up, catching the blood before it can drip onto the hardwood as she stumbles backward.

       “Because Auradon will pay for the disrespect they have shown me! They will bend the knee or die, and it will be them begging for mercy this time. They wanted to turn me into a monster, well I’ll show them what a real monster is.”

       Red nods, pressing her hand against her mouth and waiting for the pain to ease.

       Her mother examines her through narrow eyes. “I can do without the backtalk from you, as well. I have let you have your little rebellions, but it’s time to grow up, Red, and prove that you won’t forever be a disappointment. For once , just do what you’re told. Otherwise we might as well go home right now, and you can take Auradon’s punishment for them.”

       Red pulls her hand away from her mouth, wiping the blood from the cut, and ducks her head. “Yes, mother.”

       The Queen relaxes minutely, a flicker of softness passing through her expression. Then it’s gone. “Good. I’ll expect a progress report on Parent’s Day. Letters are too risky. I know it’s hard for you, but don’t disappoint me again.” She turns on her heel and makes her way to the door. It opens on its own as she reaches it, and she hesitates for just barely a moment before continuing the stride, and the person in the doorway is forced to quickly jump out of the way.

       “Bridget, it’s-” the woman from earlier, the only one Red has ever heard dare call her mother by her first name, trails off as her mother keeps walking without a backward glance.

       The young girl at her side scoffs angrily and turns to the room. Both of their eyes land on Red, and she quickly fixes a scowl on her face, licking away the blood gathering on the corner of her mouth.

       “You must be my daughter’s roommate,” the elder blue says gently, eyes passing over her. She doesn’t show the fear that others feel when faced with Red. If anything, her eyes soften. Not like her mother’s had. This softness sticks and seems etched into her very soul.

       “No shit,” Red snaps, feeling discomforted by the look. People don’t look at her that way. It’s weird.

       “Hey, don’t talk to my mother that way,” the younger one snaps, taking a threatening step forward. Red blinks at the movement. People don’t look at her that way, either; at least not openly. As the girl’s hand tightens over the hilt of her sword, Red wonders if she’s going to run her through with it. Red can’t say she’d care too much, not that it’d do any good.

       But Blue is stopped by her mother placing a hand on her shoulder.

       The foreign queen smiles at her. “I’m Ella, and this is my daughter Chloe. If you need any help adjusting, please don’t be afraid to ask. Chloe would be happy to assist.”

       Red highly doubts that, because Chloe immediately opens her mouth to protest. “But, mom-”  she cuts herself off at the look on her mother’s face. It’s not the same one that the Red Queen uses to silence her subjects, but it seems just as effective- at least for her daughter- because Blue then glares at the ground in submission.

       “I won’t be needing help,” Red says, and then decides to ignore them both as she bends down to unpack her bags. She glares at her shaking hands as she reaches for the zippers. Her ticking is in her ears. Her head has also started hurting from all the colors- especially all the blue.

       She tries to tune out her roommate and her mother’s whispers, but it’s hard when she knows that it’s about her.

       “Mom,” the younger Blue hisses, “I don’t want to help her. She’s so rude and mean.”

       The scolding that follows is expected, but the tone is much softer and holds none of the threat Red expects to come from back talk. “Chloe, I know I taught you better than that.”

       “But you also taught me not to just let people mistreat me,” Chloe continues to argue, and Red’s initial suspicion that this girl is an idiot feels all but confirmed as she does. “To stand up for myself. She’s a bully, just like her mom.”

       The queen still does not snap. If anything, she seems to actually consider her daughter’s words. Listen to them. And Red feels confused when she says softly, “You’re right. Just. Don’t give up too quickly. Give her a chance. Please?” Red feels herself detach from the conversation as Chloe responds.

       “...Fine,” she mutters. “I promise I’ll give her a chance.”

       “That’s all I ask.”

       Their conversation turns to how Chloe wants to set up her side of the room, and things she wants to bring from home now that she’s seen it, and Red finds it a lot easier to tune them out. The entire world kind of slips away again as she goes on autopilot about putting her things away and looking around her space.

       Back home, everything in her room has had its place for as long as she can remember. Now she finds herself trying to organize it as close to familiar as possible.

       When Red closes herself in the bathroom, the mother and daughter pair are still decorating the other side of the room. She doesn’t know how she’s going to survive until Parent’s Day, let alone the year. Her room has always been the only place she can somewhat relax. Now she has a roommate who already hates her, not that she cares or doesn’t deserve it.

       Maybe she won’t have to survive until Parent’s Day. Her roommate seems awfully fond of that sword on her hip; maybe she’ll get so fed up with Red she’ll try and off her in her sleep. (Maybe Auradon is different. It wouldn’t be the worst thing if this time it actually took).

       Red reaches into her pocket, the ticking-ticking-ticking against her own ticking drawing her. She fishes out Maddox’s invention, running her fingers along the grooves. She wonders what she could possibly change with the time machine. There is no ‘good’ to go back to, her life has always been terrible. She doesn’t know why he bothered building it, why she bothered taking it. What could she change?

       Maybe she just likes the sound of the ticking. She closes her eyes and leans her head back against the bathroom door. She can hear mother and daughter laughing behind it, and the sound confuses her. Laughing has been fully against the law in Wonderland for nearly three years now.

       She clutches the watch and thinks that she'd rather burn Wonderland to the ground than try to save it. What’s to save?

……………

Red hadn’t expected to sleep very well, and at first that was exactly what happened as she tossed and turned and her brain wouldn’t shut off. But then she’s suddenly snapping awake to a blaring noise that has her hands clapping over her ears as she flings herself over the edge of her bed.

       After she gathers her bearings, remembering the events of yesterday and recognizing that she’s in her new room, she pops her head over the edge of her bed to glare at her roommate as the blue haired girl does something to make the noise stop.

       “What the fuck was that?” Red demands, letting her hands drop from her ears to tangle in her blankets.

       Chloe blinks sleepily at her, brows furrowed. “The alarm? So we can get ready?”

       Red’s jaw clenches before she can do something stupid like ask ‘get ready for what?’ For school, obviously. Normally, if she’s needed anywhere, a guard comes to retrieve her. She’s never had to get up so early before, and she’s never been woken so rudely (that’s a lie- when she’s in the dungeons, the guards wake her as rudely as they please).

       Red pushes herself to her feet and yanks her covers straight, making sure everything is neat and tidy as she hears her roommate bustle around the space, in and out of the bathroom.

       Red’s eyes are drawn to the other girl’s bed, which lies in a mess with wrinkled pillows and crumpled sheets half falling off. The next time Chloe breezes out of the bathroom, Red shuts herself inside with her clothes for the day. She takes the time to slow her ticking pulse and breathe.

       When she comes out of the bathroom, Chloe is lingering by the door, bookbag slung across her shoulders and looking uncertain. She shifts to her other foot when Red appears.

       “Do you want to walk down to breakfast together?”

       Red’s first instinct is to say something mocking about ‘giving her a chance,’ but then she realizes that she has no idea where breakfast is or how it works, or even how a school in Auradon works. She also remembers the job she’s tasked with: finding out more about Auradon. Making friends sounds like a terrible idea. She’s not allowed friends. But maybe she shouldn’t be making enemies just yet, either.

       Red’s eyes linger on her roommate’s unmade bed and bites her tongue to keep herself from snapping at the girl about it, who clearly has no intention of making it even semi-neat. She snatches up her bag of school supplies and her confusing schedule, and turns to the girl with a scowl.

       “Fine. Lead the way.”

       Blue’s eyes widen marginally in surprise, and then a small smile lifts her lips. Smiling isn’t completely outlawed, but it’s not allowed before noon and it’s an unspoken rule that no one does it anyway. She resists informing her of that.

       Maybe she’ll look for a book of laws today. She wouldn’t want to get caught outright breaking one. Being her mother’s daughter won’t likely afford her protection here, outside her kingdom, and losing your head is a terrible experience for even those who still have their hearts. The poor things still think they are alive for a while as they chase their head and try to put it back on. Sometimes it could last for hours before their body finally realizes that, for them, there is no putting themselves back together.

       They walk quietly side by side together, Red taking in everything, trying to memorize the route so she won’t have to rely on her roommate for the following days, and trying to just get a feel about Auradon.

       As they get closer to the ground floor, more kids appear, all looking sleepy and not all the way alert. Red’s eyes widen as one blindly bumps into her, only murmuring a half-hearted apology.

       They are… they are all messy and hunched and imperfect . It sends an old thrill through her that she crushes vehemently. There is no rebellion to be had here. They will conform just as Wonderland had.

       Breakfast, as it turns out, takes place in a large room with dozens of tables and rows of food options that people casually pile onto their plates. Red’s eyes lock on the colorful little deserts she saw yesterday, piled high on one platter, looking perfect and pretty. Red finds herself drawn to the sweets, half of her whispering it’s not allowed, the other screaming ‘her mom isn’t here.’

       Red grabs a small plate and stacks one of every treat onto it. If Auradon is going to become just another Wonderland, she wants to try everything before that happens.

       When Red looks up, she discovers that Chloe is lingering nearby with her own plate of eggs and fruit.

       “Got a sweet tooth?” she asks, staring at Red’s plate judgmentally. She is very familiar with that expression. Her mother’s is more intimidating.

       “I wouldn’t know,” Red bites back half-heartedly and sits down at an open spot. She’s mildly irritated when Chloe joins her. Still ‘giving Red a chance,’ she guesses.

       “What do you mean?”

       “Eating sweets is illegal in Wonderland. I want to try everything.” Red shoves a brown square into her mouth, and then freezes at the taste. Her mouth is instantly flooded with saliva. As she chews, she eagerly reaches for the next thing.

       “Good?” Chloe asks, and Red glances up as she shoves something decorated blue and yellow into her mouth next. Her roommate’s face is smiling again, and it’s strange, someone making that face at her. The flash of teeth feels very similar to a threat. Only more unnerving. She again resists the urge to call her out on her blatant rule breaking behavior. Clearly, quite a few rules don’t translate over from Wonderland to Auradon.

       “It’s okay,” Red replies blandly.

       It’s the best thing she’s ever tasted. She immediately wants more. She wonders if they have sweets at every meal, or only on special occasions. It’s very possible these are only out because they are leftovers, but if that’s not the case, she’s going to be eating them for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Especially the brown ones. Those are automatically her favorite.

       By the time that she’s done with her plate, though, she feels a bit sick.

       She must not hide it very well, because Chloes looks at her with a raised eyebrow and asks, “Eat too many?” She’s laughing at Red. Red doesn’t know how she knows, but she knows it. It makes her angry as her mom’s voice whispers in her ear that it’s because Chloe doesn’t fear her. Chloe doesn’t fear her because she’s weak.

       “How about you shut your mouth before I rip your tongue out,” Red snarls.

       Her roommate’s amusement immediately dies, replaced by wide-eyed surprise, and then a scowl. It’s much better. But Red still feels sick and saliva is now flooding her mouth, so she shoves away from the table. She can find her own way around. She doesn’t need anyone to take pity on her.

       Red stubbornly seals her lips shut as she stalks out of the room, keeping her eyes open for any bathrooms.

Chapter Text

Chloe has decided to hate her again. Red is just fine with this. She can do without the closeup judgment of her every move (she gets enough of that in Wonderland), and she can do without the perky bounce and smile that seems to be the princess’s natural way of existing until Red opens her mouth.

       Chloe herself appears to be perfectly content with her own people surrounding her and returning her smiles and enthusiasm. She seems to have decided that she gave Red her chance, and it wasn’t worth it. Red is unbothered with that conclusion, and is happy to keep her distance.

       Even if Red has gotten lost several times, and each time someone bumps into her or asks if she’s okay, her anger only builds until she wants to just start screaming at everyone.

       Principal Uma finds her at some point in the middle of the day as she lashes out at a locker that is refusing to talk to her, nearly denting it. The audacity of it! To straight up ignore her!

       “Red,” she calls, and Red whirls on the woman in the empty hallway.

       “What,” she snaps, feeling sparks tingling in her fingertips and on the edge of exploding. She hasn’t exploded anything on accident in years, since her powers first presented themselves.

       The principal crosses her arms, eyes taking Red in in her entirety. She seems completely unaffected by Red’s attitude, when everyone else she’s spoken to today has returned it or simply started avoiding her.

       “Lost?” she asks. “You have science next, don’t you? Come on, I’ll take you.”

       Red silently starts after the principal, clenching her teeth. At least she’s not in trouble for skipping.

       They walk in silence for a moment before the pirate captain asks, “Do you know what a VK is,” and Red scowls in response. Uma smiles sideways at her. “It’s something the people of Auradon have dubbed those of us who were born to the villains of their stories. Thirty years ago, just before the rabbit hole was closed, Auradon banished all those villains to an island. Not long after, the first villain kids were born, stuck on that trash heap just as surely as their parents were, and punished for crimes they never committed- punished for merely being born. Six years ago, all the villain kids from the Isle were finally welcomed to Auradon.”

       “What’s that have to do with me?” Red asks, but her interest is caught and her anger has faded somewhat with the telling of the story. She only knows of it vaguely. Just that the villains were trapped, but now apparently they’re not. She used to wish she was trapped over there, where there are no rules, instead of in Wonderland where there is a ridiculous abundance.

       “Most villains weren’t nice to their kids. They hurt and belittled and used them, trying to make them into versions of themselves. When the first kid came over, Mal, she tried to burn the world in her mother’s name. But she made a different choice in the end- a choice that ended up freeing all the other kids, instead of subjecting them to a bigger version of the Isle. You are a VK, Red, and Wonderland is your Isle of the Lost. You are being given the same chance as everyone else. The choice is yours, now.”

       Red’s pulse is tick-tick-ticking in her ears. Because Principal Uma knows, somehow. She knows that Red is going to bring about the end of Auradon as they know it. If she knows, she should never have let the Queen of Hearts out of the rabbit hole.

       The ticking is so loud, she hardly hears her own scoff. “You think anyone in Wonderland has a choice?” She used to think so. That it would be so simple for them to just misbehave and change something . She can change nothing.

       “There is always a choice, even if it feels impossible. Even if it’s not a good one.”

       Red wants to laugh outright, but laughing is illegal and she doesn’t truly find the woman’s words humorous to begin with. But she doesn’t think arguing will do any good. Red’s mission was doomed from the start. Her mother would have been better off doing her coup yesterday and taking hostage the rest of the royalty, even if the king of all kings wasn’t in attendance. Nearly every other kingdom and their heirs were , and they were all in a single room.

       But her mother also has the Looking Glass, and didn’t that show her on the throne, Red standing dutifully next to her?

       “I believe this is you,” Uma says, stopping next to a door and looking at Red consideringly. “If you need anything, my door is always open.”

       Red highly doubts that. She shoves her way into the room without a glance back.

………………….

Her fingers drag down the glass surface of the watch, eyes locked on the tick-tick-ticking of the hands that almost fall into cadence with her own ticking.

       She thinks about what Maddox said, how the watch would take her to the moment that could let her fix what her heart most desires. Maybe she could save Ace and Chester by being exactly their first impression of her.

       Red wonders if she can stop herself from ever being born.

       Her thumb traces the knob, wondering what would happen if she pressed it. What could actually change. And then she presses it.

       She waits silently, watching the watch, waiting for it to work, for the world to spin away, for it to blow up- anything, but the watch just keeps ticking and so does her heart.

       She feels something like devastation. The watch doesn’t work. Of course it doesn’t. Fuck.

       The bathroom door opens mid thought about how stopping her creation would have been too easy of a way to erase herself, and her head snaps up.

       Blue curls assault her vision, and brown eyes blink at her. “Oh- sorry!” the girl yelps, “I didn’t know you were…” The door pauses on its rapid path closed, and then slowly is pushed back open. “Why are you sitting in the bathtub?”

       “Why don’t you knock?” Red snaps, hastily reaching up to scrub at the dampness she feels on her hot cheeks.

       “Why don’t you lock the door?” Blue retorts, confusing Red. Lock the door? What does that even mean? Doors don’t have locks, unless they do so from the outside.

       And then Blue’s face does something funny, and her voice is a lot softer as she steps further into the bathroom. “Hey, are you crying?”

       “NO,” Red hisses, anger lashing through her, and she reaches for anything she can get her hands on. Her hands curl around a shampoo bottle, and she launches it at the other girl. She reaches for another one. “Now get out! Get out, get out, get out!” Her chest is ticking out of sync, way too fast. What an idiot she was to let her guard down even in here.

       “Hey!” Chloe hisses as the second bottle clips her shoulder, and then she slams the door shut just before a razor collides with it, and then a bar of soap.

       When she’s alone again, her hands lift to rip at her hair. Her breathing is too fast in panic. She has to get it together. She can’t show weakness.

       A minute ticks by with her struggle, and as she continues to gasp for breath, a soft voice hesitantly comes from the other side of the door. “...Are you homesick? Because that’s okay, you know.”

       Home sick? Yeah, that fists. She feels a bit nauseous when she thinks of her mother and Wonderland. She thinks again about burning the whole miserable place to the ground.

       When Red doesn’t respond, she hears a sigh from the other side of the door and then retreating footsteps. Red sinks farther down in the tub, pressing the useless pocket watch against her chest and tries to get her pulse to match up with it again, but everything is out of sync now, and she struggles to even find a reason to get up (in the end, it’s her orders forcing her out).

………………..

“Where are you going?”

       Red pauses, fingers just touching the door handle. She’s not surprised about her roommate’s sudden question; the girl has been darting looks at her since she came out of the bathroom.

       “What’s it to you?” Red asks, turning and crossing her arms. She doesn’t know why she is engaging at all. Maybe because only Maddox ever willingly engages with her.

       “You can’t be out after curfew,” Blue informs her.

       Red frowns. “I didn’t see any law saying that there was a curfew.” She made sure to check. The book of Auradon laws sits on the edge of her desk. She would have gone out the window after the other girl fell asleep if she knew.

       Her roommate fiddles with the pencil she was using to do homework. “It’s not a law. It’s school policy. Everyone has to be back in their rooms by 10pm. Did you not read the school rule book?”

       “And what’s the punishment for breaking the school rules?” Red asks.

       Chloe shrugs. “You get in trouble. Detention, I guess.”

       Red snorts, reaching for the door handle again. “Thanks for the info.” She risked more than detention sneaking out in Wonderland.

       “Hey!” Chloe calls after her as she pulls open the door. “You can’t just break the rules when they don’t suit you!” Red ignores her and pulls the door closed. Auradon is a joke. Besides, she’ll only get in trouble if she’s caught. She’s been dodging her mother’s guards for the past four years, and those soldiers have the highest of motivations to catch her.

       Red doesn’t have any mischief in mind for tonight, no plans for vandalism- she’s not looking to catch anyone’s attention. She just needs to get out of the room before she screams.

………………….

That first night in Auradon had been a one off for Red’s sleep pattern. Time never moves in a blink like that. It drags with her exhaustion as she tosses and turns until eventually, if she stays in bed long enough, there are images and screams and her vision is drenched in blood before she inevitably is vaulted into an upright position, ticking in her throat and shaking as she struggles to draw air past the hands constricting it.

       Her own hands, of course. No one is actually dragging her around by the back of the neck. No one else is going to keep her head from rolling away, either, and there is always a deep ache in her spine that spreads outward to every one of her joints. It’s better than the times when she wakes without feeling in her extremities at all, and she’s momentarily terrified that she’ll be forever trapped in a broken body that won't obey her.

       Red hasn’t gotten the kind of sleep she got on her first night in a long time. She forgot what it felt like. She longs for it. To just close her eyes and just… stop existing. She wonders if that’s what death feels like. If the panic of not being able to find your head eases into nothingness.

       Throughout the week, she tries, at first, to fall asleep like she had that first night, but like usual, it evades her. She is used to working under the effects of exhaustion, but that was when things were familiar and her schedule was erratic enough that she could just disappear from her lessons whenever she pleased and Maddox would simply give them to her the next time she appeared in his lab. She’s not able to fall into autopilot when she doesn’t know what she’s doing, and has to remember all the stationary times and places she needs to be, and she suddenly feels even more exhausted than normal.

       It is… maddening. She supposes that it was inevitable that she’d go mad like her mother. And she is. Just like her mother. Or at least, becoming very similar in her temper. Half the time, she doesn’t even mean to snap at her roommate. It’s not a show to placate her mother, or to hide her uncertainty and keep from appearing weak. It’s because she’s angry. Because she wants to lash out.

       It used to take all of her resolve to throw things and scream and scare people. Now she doesn’t even have to think about it.

       Red hates it. Auradon was a mistake. She’s not free, here, and she’s just going to spread the very misery she wants to escape.

       On the second week, Red wanders the castle instead of trying to sleep. Chloe keeps trying to stop her from going out, and it annoys Red that the girl won’t just leave her alone. She doesn’t care if the other girl tells on her. What can Auradon do? Expel her? Drag her to the dungeons? Cut off her head? Auradon doesn’t behead people, apparently. That’s the whole reason her mother was closed up in the rabbit hole to begin with (it doesn’t surprise her that the War of Roses, that she grew up learning as an important victory in Wonderland history, is known in Auradon as the Queen of Hearts’ invasion, which was successfully contained to Wonderland and sealed off).

       She doesn’t wander the school because of her task, but she goes ahead and marks down all the entrances and exits. She takes note of all the hidden alcoves that a person can hide. Which windows open.

       She climbs up the outside of the castle walls, just as she had in Wonderland, learning the rooftops and handholds. She feels better up high, where everything else seems much further away, including her emotions that always seem to burn her. Sometimes she can even doze off for a couple minutes, laying on the roof, or in a surrounding tree, or the middle of that big empty field- before her body violently jolts her awake.

       She might be miserable after a restless night, but at least she’s always gone before that god awful alarm tears at her ears.

Chapter Text

Red did not give Chloe a good first impression. She was senselessly mean when Chloe tried to talk to her that first time, and when she went out of her way to be nice even after that (because maybe she was just acting that way in front of her evil mother), she was still snappish and rude.

       No one had ever talked to Chloe like that. She reminded her of those mean girls in the movies who thought they were better than everyone else and ran the whole school like it was their very own kingdom (minus her devoted mean girl followers- because no one is willing to put up with her hostile attitude).

       Chloe had been excited to have a roommate, hoping that the two of them would be the best of friends. After the disaster of that first day, she hadn’t even wanted to go back to the room at all. The Wonderland princess was awful.

       But that first day… she’s pretty sure the princess had been crying in the bathroom. Even if she looked just as scowly and mean when she finally came out of it. Still, being homesick doesn’t excuse any of her behavior. Or her breaking of the rules.

       She doesn’t know when the girl sleeps with her being gone when Chloe goes to bed, and already up when she wakes up, makeup fresh and perfect as ever. Chloe herself needs at least seven hours to be a halfway functional human being. She has a theory that maybe Wonderlandians don’t even need to sleep.

       That theory is proven incorrect when Swords and Shields practice is let out early and she trudges exhaustedly towards their room. When she pushes the door open, she’s surprised to see the princess of Hearts sprawled on her bed, eyes closed, and head down on the homework it looked like she was attempting.

       The sight makes Chloe freeze in surprise in the doorway, eyes locked on Red’s face. Even in sleep, she’s frowning.

       Not wanting to wake the girl, because that's just the kind of polite person she is, Chloe carefully closes the door and moves around the room as quietly as possible, putting her sword away and grabbing a change of clothes for after her shower.

       All the while, she can’t help looking back at her roommate’s furrowed brows every couple of seconds. When she has everything gathered, she’s on her way to the bathroom when the red-head makes a sound that has her pausing again.

       Red shifts, making another pained noise that has Chloe’s heart beating unsteadily. She hates the sound of people being in pain. She turns again, staring, then takes an automatic step closer to her roommate’s bed as a wordless plea spills out.

       “Please,” Red whispers around a whimper, knees curling toward her chest and papers crinkling. “M’ sorry. M’ sorry.” Chloe’s legs lock. In the two weeks they’ve known each other, she hasn’t once heard the Princess apologize to anyone, even though she definitely should have a dozen times over. An uncomfortable, cold, dread curls in her at the girl’s next mumbled words. “Mom, please. Don’t.”

       “...Red,” Chloe says, but it comes out whispery and more of a croak. She clears her throat and tries again. “ Red. ”

       Still in the throes of the nightmare, Red flinches as she raises her arms to cover her head, and desperate to wake the distressed girl, Chloe reaches out to shake her.

       Chloe gasps as the other girl flies out of the bed, and then scrambles under it, all in a blink. She can hear the ragged, panicked breathing coming from under it, and, never able to leave things alone, she lays down on the ground to look.

       Red doesn’t look anything like the tough, rule breaking, bully Chloe thought of her as. She looks scared, and wild, and like she might lunge out from underneath and bite Chloe if she decided to try and reach for her.

       “Red?” Chloe asks softly.

       Chloe has had panic attacks before. She’s naturally an anxious person, and it was even worse when she was younger. It was always terrifying. And Chloe finds that being on this side of one is nearly just as scary. But the way her mother handled her fits is seared into her mind- because everything is so much more in those moments, and her mother’s unfailing calm and compassion was what got her through it. She remembers how much someone else being calm for her, helped to soothe her and helped her to actually hear the words being spoken to her.

       Chloe tries to generate that same mask that her mother always wore, now, even though she feels just as scared as when she was nine years old and hyperventilating at the thought of her tutor being so very disappointed in her.

       “Red, can you hear me? Do you know where you are?”

       Wide eyes stare back at her, before they dart past and around Chloe, taking everything in as her chest heaves. Then that familiar expression that Chloe has come to expect from the daughter of the Queen of Hearts shutters down like it’s the only one that has ever been on her face.

       It’s eerie how quickly the panic is shut down, when Chloe remembers how long it took her to calm down from those high emotions.

       But Red rolls out from under the bed just as quickly as she went under it, and Chloe scrambles to her feet after her. She glares at Chloe from the other side, a haughty look lowering her eyelids as if Chloe and the situation disgusts her and is entirely beneath her. Chloe might think she’d mistaken what was happening if she wasn’t so intimately familiar with panic and anxiety- if it weren’t for Red’s clenched fists that are unable to hide the tremble in them.

       “If you tell anyone, I’ll smother you in your sleep,” she hisses viciously, like that could make Chloe forget the past five minutes, but Chloe can’t stop staring at the tear tracks on her cheeks.

       Chloe’s stomach is gurgling uncomfortably like every time she witnesses someone else’s pain. “I wouldn’t do that,” Chloe says earnestly.

       That seems to surprise Red, because she takes a half step back, anger melting into a distrust that pings at Chloe’s sense of justice and compassion. “Why?” she demands.

       Chloe blinks at the Wonderland princess in her own disbelief. The why is very obvious to Chloe, something that shouldn’t ever need to be said or questioned, and she doesn’t know what to say to that. “Because I’m a decent human being?” Chloe tries.

       Red stares at her for a long time, long enough that Chloe feels like she’s waiting for something more. But then Red’s boring gaze falls away, and she huffs.

       “Whatever,” she mutters, striding for the bathroom and shutting herself in.

       Chloe stares at the door, and then looks down at the clothes she picked out for after her shower. And then she sits down at her desk chair, resigning herself to sit in her own sweat for a good while.

………………

Chloe doesn’t know why, but she can’t stop thinking about her roommate. If she’s in the same room, Chloe’s eyes find her every few minutes. If she’s not, Chloe is wondering what she’s doing, what she’s thinking, what she’s feeling.

       Her mother had asked her to give her a chance. Chloe had decided that very next day that Red already had it.

       But then the nightmare happened, and while Red is undeniably mean to just about everyone, Chloe realizes (as she secretly observes the girl), that she doesn’t go out of her way to be that way. It’s purely reactionary. The only time she ever talks to (snaps at) anyone at all is if they approach her first, say something first. Only then do, the claws and biting words come out.

       It’s Chloe’s inability to leave well enough alone, probably- her intrinsic need to help anyone who seems like they need it- that has her so consumed by the other girl’s every action. She can’t help the feeling that something is wrong. People don’t wake up from a nightmare and instinctively hide under the bed when things are fine and dandy.

       Even when Chloe visits home for the weekend, she’s plagued with thoughts of her roommate. Are nightmares the reason she goes out at night instead of sleeping? What does she even do all night?

       Her mother draws her out of her musings as they carefully press out the dough for sugar cookies. “What’s on your mind, sweetheart?”

       “Nothing.” Chloe thinks that Red might accept a couple of the cookies they are making if she brings some back. Red eats some sort of sweet with nearly every meal. At least, for every meal that she shows up to. She knows this, because apparently even before this nightmare business, she’s been keeping an eye out for Red.

       A hand covers hers, and she looks up to find her mother giving her a Look. One that says ‘try again,’ or ‘I know you.’

       “What’s wrong?” she gently demands, and Chloe stares at her for a moment, contemplating with herself. But, then, she never was one to hide her thoughts and worries from her mother. There’s no point when her mom is always able to give her the right advice to help or make her feel better.

       “It’s just…” Still, she doesn’t know why even the thought of talking about Red is suddenly hard. Maybe because she promised she wouldn’t tell anyone about her nightmares, and that’s the main thing that everything else circles back to. What other concern could she possibly have? “Why did you want me to be friends with Red?”

       Her mother looks at her for a couple seconds before slowly withdrawing her hands and reaching for her own dough.

       “She reminded me a bit of myself.”

       Chloe spins toward her mother, jaw dropping in disbelief. She feels insulted on her mother’s behalf. “There is no way- you are nothing like her!”

       “I was ,” her mother laughs, flicking a bit of sugar at her. “When I was younger, I was a lot more… abrasive than I am now. I’ve told you about my step-mother, how she treated me. It changes the way you look at the world... But when you have someone bright, and hopeful, in your life,” she gives Chloe a pointed look, as if she needed the hint that her mom was hoping for Chloe to be that for Red, “it changes you again.”

       Chloe bites her lip, her stomach squirming in discomfort. “And you don’t think her mom treats her well?  Like your step-mom?” Even as she asks it, it feels accurate. It matches with the worries in her brain. Red had pleaded with her mom in her dream. A lot of villain parents from the Isle didn’t treat their kids well. Why would a tyrant known for her temper be any different.

       “What do you think?” Her mother passes her the cookie cutter, and Chloe turns all her attention into pressing out little hearts and smiley faces and stars.

       “Dad was the person who changed you?” Chloe asks after she runs out of cookie dough.

       “Actually, it was Red’s mother,” she says softly. “Bridget.” There is a deep sadness and regret laced in her vocals, and Chloe once again stares at her mother. Her face isn’t sympathetic and understanding anymore; there is a longing vulnerability to it that she’s never associated with her perfectly happily-ever-after parents before. She meets Chloe’s eyes with that sadness. “She’s changed, too.”

       Chloe frowns, thinking on that. She can’t imagine the Queen of Hearts ever being somebody that her mother once loved. Someone ‘hopeful and bright.’ She can’t imagine it matters much now, when she clearly makes Red so miserable even a kingdom away.

       When her mother walks her out to the car that evening, clutching a bag of fresh baked cookies, they pause just under the overhang on the doors, watching the rain pelt down in thick sheets.

       “Maybe you should go back tomorrow. I can call the school,” her mother says, watching the driver run towards them holding an umbrella that looks about ready to be yanked out of his hand.

       “I can’t miss classes tomorrow, we are being assigned partners for a project we’ll be working on the rest of the semester.”

       “Highness,” the driver greets with a respectful bow as he reaches them, then takes hold of Chloe’s bag. “Princess?”

       “If you’re sure,” her mother says, wrapping Chloe into a hug. Then she looks at John as they pull apart. “Take it slow. And call me the minute you reach the school.”

       “Yes, your Grace,” he says, and then holds out the umbrella for Chloe to duck under. Chloe feels bad that he’s getting splashed in freezing sheets of rain, so she hurries quickly to the door, not waiting for him to open it for her.

       The heater is already blasting in the vehicle, and Chloe shivers at the change in temperature. John climbs in a few moments later after securing her overnight bag in the trunk.

       She zones out as they pull onto the road, splitting her attention between scrolling on her phone and staring at the patterned rain streaks on her window. The storm carries on, and an hour into the journey, the sky splits open and lightning illuminates the entire world. The following sound rocks the frame of the vehicle, and Chloe clutches her phone worriedly.

       John meets her eyes in the rearview mirror. “I’m sorry, Princess, but you are likely going to be late for your curfew.”

       “That’s all right,” Chloe says, even though the very idea of breaking the school rules makes everything inside her body protest. She probably won’t get in trouble for it this time. No one except Zeus can control the storm. She wonders what made him angry this time.

       When they pull up in front of the school, Chloe stops the driver before he can get out. “I have it from here. I can dry off when I get inside, you can’t. No need for you to get wet too.”

       He smiles apologetically, but grateful, through the mirror. “Thank you, princess.”

       Chloe leaps out of the vehicle, clutching her bag and her cookies as she races for cover, and her teeth are chattering by the time she makes it. She hurries along, skirting the outside of the courtyard under the overhangs instead of bolting through it, and another flash with rumbling thunder has Chloe stopping cold.

       She turns to the courtyard that is nearly pitch now except for the weak yellow walkway lights struggling to shine through the rain. But as she squints, she can still make out the shape she had thought she saw, sitting in a puddle, leaning back against a bench with knees drawn up to her chest.

       “Red?!” she shouts over the rain, and then, not knowing what else to do, darts out into the open courtyard. Her shoes are instantly ruined as she splashes through the puddles, until she is right above the figure and can make out a lot more detail. “Light, Red, what are you doing out here?!”

       Red doesn’t answer, though. She doesn’t even move. She just… stares forward, eyes fixed on a puddle and face devoid of scowl or sneer or expression.

       Chloe’s heart thuds anxiously at the lack of response. “Red? What are you doing in the rain?” she asks again, ducking closer. Red still ignores her, and, really freaked out now, Chloe reaches out (even though the last time she touched her, the Wonderland princess had crawled under the bed).

       Red hardly reacts even to that, but she does, finally, react. She turns her head, as if just realizing that Chloe was there, but even then it still feels off. And Chloe finally starts to understand that maybe Red isn’t actually there at all. Not really.

       “Come on, Red. Let’s go to our room,” she says, tugging on Red’s sleeve. She has the impression that Red would never let Chloe touch her if she were in her right mind, so she tries to do it as little as possible now. Luckily, Red stands with Chloe’s gentle, physical, prompting, and Chloe tugs her back toward their dorm.

       There is little Chloe can do about the trail of water they track through the halls, but she’s a little more concerned with getting Red dry than not getting caught out past curfew at the moment.

       When Chloe gets Red into the light of their room, her stomach knots even more.  Red’s hair and clothes are plastered to her body, and her makeup is all washed away, leaving the circles under her eyes obvious and dark. The only thing that makes Red look remotely herself is the color of her clothes, and even that is darker than usual, holding the weight of water.

       Chloe lets go of her sleeve when she gets Red to her own side of the room. When she just continues to stand there, blinking at Chloe, Chloe goes to one of Red’s drawers to pull out some clothes. She finds a long sleeve, and some underwear, and some black sweatpants Chloe didn’t know Red even owned, and she pushes them into her hands.

       “Get out of those wet clothes,” Chloe orders as Red automatically takes the bundle offered to her, but then she just blinks down at them instead of at Chloe.

       Chloe’s entire being squirms in discomfort and anxiety. Red can’t stay in those clothes, and who knows how long she was sitting out in the rain like that. But the prospect of changing Red makes the blood rush to Chloe’s face and her heart race even faster. Despite thinking the girl very rude, she has eyes. She’s noticed how pretty she is, and it seems wrong to undress her.

       Plus, she’s pretty sure Red would kill her for it, when she finally regained herself.

       Chloe sighs and takes back the clothes, and Red lets her without any protest. She doesn’t protest even when Chloe pushes her jacket from her shoulders, letting it drop to the floor with a wet splat. Chloe then tugs the gloves off the red-head’s hands and lets those fall too, automatically rubbing the icy skin to warm them. She absently takes note of the little nicked scars across her palms.

       It’s less embarrassing and more terrifying the more Red just lets her undress her, not reacting or putting up any fuss, and easily taking simple direction like, ‘hold onto my shoulder,’ or ‘give me your foot,’ or, ‘lift up your arms.’ Anyone could take easy advantage if they had been the one to find her like this, and Chloe feels incredibly sleazy as she pulls Red’s shirt off over her head. But the girl’s skin is icy to the touch and she’s pretty sure that could easily lead to hypothermia. Gods, she hopes Red doesn’t catch hypothermia.

       Chloe’s thoughts spin away when her roommate’s skin comes into view (not like that). It’s pale and covered in painful looking goosebumps, but it’s the sight of the other scars that stall her. Ones that can’t be reasoned away as taking unfortunate contact with concrete. A couple criss-cross on her stomach, but the most eye-catching one is the angry, knotted line, curving like a crescent moon over her heart like someone had tried to take it out similar to how the Evil Queen ordered it done to Snow White.

       Feeling cold, Chloe grips Red’s arms and slowly turns her, seeing that this is where the majority of the scars are. Feeling more raised skin under her fingers, she turns over the arms in her hand and almost yanks it back in shock.

       The insides of Red’s arms are littered in perfect lines in a very deliberate way, and she stares at the unnervingly fresh ones that had to have happened since they started sharing a room.

       This… isn’t something someone who thought they were better than everyone would do. This is the act of someone who hates themselves, just as much as whoever did that to her back must hate her.

       Somehow, looking at Red’s scars when she’s not able to stop her makes her feel even skeevier than the idea of letting her eyes linger on curves (not that she did, or would, ever allow herself to do that). Chloe hurriedly averts her eyes and pulls the dry shirt over Red’s head. No matter how wet they are, she is not taking off her roommate’s underwear when she can’t refuse.

       She sways under Chloe’s help, almost seeming to lean into her touch at times, but Chloe knows she’s likely just seeking out any source of heat. So she hurries along and nudges her toward the bed.

       It feels odd doing all this. It’s like Red is a doll. She would feel better if Red would just threaten her, just once.

       Red stares at the wall as Chloe pulls the covers up around her, and then awkwardly hovers, not sure what else to do. “Red, are you there?” she asks, and isn’t surprised this time when she doesn’t get a response. Chloe sighs. “Goodnight. Please don’t hate me even more in the morning.”

       It takes a long time to fall asleep, mind always circling back to Red, and those scars, and why she was just sitting out there in the rain. She does drift off, eventually, but it’s to those images in her brain. Red alone in the rain. Red sitting in the bathtub with bloody arms. Red screaming as someone tries to carve out her heart.

       When Chloe wakes up, she almost thinks that she imagined it, because Red’s side of the room is perfectly ordered, bed looking unslept in, and her roommate nowhere to be found. If Chloe’s own wet clothes weren’t still hanging on the back of the chair, she would have convinced herself that she had.

       And when she sees Red in the hallway later, Red acts just as she usually does, not even uttering another threat for Chloe to keep her mouth shut about the night before, and Chloe wonders if the girl even remembers anything about it. And if she doesn’t, how often she loses time.

In one night, Red has become someone Chloe wants to help, to someone she needs to.

Chapter Text

There is static under Red’s skin, and it’s been sitting there since she woke up that morning and discovered the mess of her room. Normally when she goes on autopilot, she automatically cleans up after herself (because doing anything else would be unacceptable), but her clothes were piled on the floor and there were puddles across the room, and she’s felt even worse today than she felt yesterday.

       And yesterday was miserable, for some reason, even though she didn’t have a roommate looking over at her to make sure she wasn’t breaking any stupid rules by just existing, and no one tried to talk to her because there were no classes and therefore no need to be around anyone.

       Still, she usually at least had Madds as a distraction when she needed it. When her thoughts went dark and spiraling. She wasn’t allowed to have friends, and she no longer wants any, but her mentor was the closest thing that could probably come to it.

       Red feels familiar eyes on her again, and her chest ticks faster as she meets Blue’s gaze that still has a weird expression on it, and Red feels strangely embarrassed. She doesn’t know why, but her skin tingles and she wants to rip it from her bones with her nails.

       That would be unbecoming, though, so she contends herself to just wrap herself tighter in her jacket until she can get somewhere without eyes on her. There is a scream bubbling in her throat that she tries to ruthlessly suppress.

       She gets about four hours to herself, after classes, pacing her room, before her dorm door is pushed open and her roommate comes in in her Swords and Shields getup. Red watches dispassionately as she kicks off her shoes in the middle of the floor, discards her gloves on her desk, and throws her sword on her bed. She flops down next to it with a sigh.

       It’s all an exceptionally noisy affair.

       Red’s discomfort spikes, mounting even higher with her roommate’s arrival after she had just started to gather herself. After nearly sixteen years of basically being alone, suddenly never having that time is disquieting.

       On Red’s next lap of the room, she makes for the door, only she’s stopped as Chloe immediately sits up.

       “Where are you going?” she asks suddenly, and Red grits her teeth.

       “Out. What’s it to you?”

       “I just… when do you think you’ll be back?” Chloe bites her lip, and Red should just ignore her- just walk out without answering, but there is static under Red’s skin again and she turns to her nosey goody-two-shoes roommate who is still for some reason trying to engage with her. She’s sure the girl’s mother would understand that she’s given Red plenty of chances.

       “What does that matter to you?”

       The expression Chloe looks at her with makes her want to squirm. It’s an expression Maddox sometimes gets when he comes to retrieve her from the dungeons after her punishment is spent (or just as likely whenever her mother forgot what she was being punished for). Except the princess’s eyes are wider, and she looks a whole lot more pathetic, and Red feels just the same guilt as when Madds looks at her like that.

       “Please don’t go,” Chloe pleads quietly, and Red’s frustration bubbles up, because she shouldn’t even be entertaining the girl’s request, but she can’t bring herself to outright ignore her like she does everyone else here in Auradon. She doesn’t know why. Maybe because she hasn’t given up yet, like everyone else has. She must really think highly of her mother, or be very scared of her, to still be putting up with Red’s shit.

       “Why not?!” Red hisses, incensed. She just wants to leave, to be alone, to breathe without worrying about if she’s exposing herself or not.

       “Because you really freaked me out last night, okay?!” Chloe finally snaps, rising to her feet, and Red takes an automatic step back. She hasn’t snapped at Red like that in a couple days, and she had stopped expecting it. Because no one talks to her like that. Except her mom, of course. “Do you even remember any of it?”

       “Of course I do,” Red hisses back, lies, mind scrambling to remember the events of last night. It’s hard. She went on autopilot, and everything is a blur with vague impressions. The last thing she clearly remembers is being outside and it just starting to rain. When she strains her brain, there might be a vague memory of blue and warmth and an aching longing.

       Chloe gives her a look that says she doesn’t believe her. She wonders what the spades she did in her autopilot state- if she had hurt her roommate, or grievously insulted her.

       “Look, you should expect me to be an ‘evil bitch’ by now,” Red says, quoting one of the things she’s heard Chloe’s friends mutter about her. What everyone mutters about her. “It’s not my fault you-”

       “You weren’t bitchy , Red,” Chloe says, exasperated, brows furrowed. “You were completely unresponsive.”

       Chloe takes another step forward, and Red mimics it with another step back, looking at the other girl wearily. She doesn’t know what the princess wants from her. And the mess is still making her brain itchy and irritable, so she bends down to pluck up the shoes and place them neatly at the end of the bed, and then reaches out for the scattering of clothes that Red quickly deposits in a hamper, and all the nicknacks and trophies can’t be shoved away, so Red soothes herself by carefully straightening them and brushing off the specs of dust with her hands.

       “What do you want from me?” Red asks, organizing the papers and pens before depositing them into drawers, and it’s slightly better, but all the junk makes her uncomfortable so she picks each toy and figurine up one by one, just touching it and making herself familiar with it before putting it back down and moving to the next.

       Chloe follows behind her, reorganizing Red’s organization. “I just want you to be safe. As in not going out all hours of the night while you’re dissociating.”

       “Dissoci-what?” Red frowns, and reaches out to finally fix her roommate’s bed. She hasn’t made it at all in the weeks they’ve been here, and finally allowing herself to pull the sheets straight soothes something deep in Red’s chest. She won’t get in trouble for the messy room. Junk isn’t allowed, but maybe if it’s at least neat, her mother’s anger will burn out quicker, and then Chloe will know why toys aren’t allowed and it’s best to just put everything away and keep it that way. Even if she never visits. She could , though, is her point.

       “Dissociating,” Chloe repeats. “It’s when you-” she reaches out for Red, “-can you just- stop- for a second, please?”

       Red blinks when she’s pulled around, and stares down at the hand lightly holding her wrist. No one ever touches her- not like this. She waits for more hands to follow, for bruising grips to seize her and drag her into the dungeons. Chloe’s fingers loosen, lightly lingering on Red’s arm. Red snatches her hand away, feeling unnerved as a gnawing sensation similar to hunger claws at her stomach.

       It feels dangerous in the way that a plate of sweets feels dangerous. And it occurs to her that she’s suddenly getting that feeling from Chloe. That Chloe is something dangerous.

       Red takes a step back, staring at the blue haired princess as she opens her mouth. “Don’t…” Red doesn’t know what she wants to say, what to demand to keep the danger at bay. She doesn’t feel any anger in that moment. Only confused. “Touch me.”

       Chloe raises her hands apologetically, and her face is weird again, like Maddox’s, and Red kind of wants to die under it, but Red kind of wants to die all the time, so she does her best to ignore it. “Okay, I’m sorry,” her roommate says.

       Red forgot what they were talking about. Forgot the whole purpose of this conversation except that Chloe doesn’t want her to go out, and Red shouldn’t care- can’t care (don’t- don’t do it- not again) , but she can’t bring herself to ignore the girl when only three other people in the world has ever looked at her like that- like they care about her (Chloe can’t possibly care about her after how she’s treated her). And only one of them hasn’t met a terrible end because of her.

       So Red turns away from the princess, whose lips are moving, but sound is no longer making it to Red’s ears, and Red closes herself into the bathroom before climbing into the porcelain tub.

       Red’s mind turns and turns and turns over the overwhelming sense of doom she suddenly feels draped over every thought of her roommate.

       Care less -ness. That’s what puts the power back in your hands. Don’t care, don’t care, don’t care. Never again. You can’t be hurt if you don’t care.

……………….

Red has been avoiding Chloe. Somehow it’s harder than she thought it would be, despite them not really talking before. Or maybe Red just wasn’t really paying attention to the blue girl all that much, and now suddenly she’s seeing her everywhere.

       That seems more likely, honestly, than Chloe rearranging her entire schedule so that they are in most of their classes together, pass each other in the hall ten times a day, and apparently are paired as partners in a project? She doesn’t know when that happened, but Chloe will either have to do it all herself or settle with an F. So the goody-two-shoes is probably going to do it all herself.

       That’s fine. As long as Red doesn’t have to look at her. She feels weird when she looks at the other girl. She feels panic and dread and something else that she doesn’t want to name because naming it would be bad . Disastrous, really.

       Red’s avoidance comes to an end when she walks into one of the public bathrooms and sees Blue standing at the sink, because of course she’s everywhere Red looks. Red freezes upon her entrance, and their eyes meet in the mirror, and Red’s stomach twists.

       Because Chloe is crying. Her cheeks are damp and there is a paper towel clutched in her hand that she’s been using to mop up her ruined makeup, and Red can’t help but stare. She’s seen people cry, of course. Big blubbering tears, desperately begging as they are dragged to the chopping block while everyone else watches on in silence, even the family members of the poor soul who dared to blink wrong in the Queen’s presence. Her mother always laughed at the sight and turned to Red to remind her that this is what weakness looks like. A blubbering fool. Only a weaker queen would cave to the miserable sight.

       Red turns and yanks the door closed behind her. Then she just- stands there- ticking in her ears as she leans into the doorframe.

       When one girl comes creeping up with clear intentions to enter the bathroom as Red had, Red slams her hand across the path, blocking the way with her body as she glares daggers at the girl. “Find another bathroom,” Red growls, and the girl’s eyes widen before she scurries off.

       Red stands there, arms crossed, guarding her roommate in her vulnerability and getting increasingly more upset at the girl doing this here , in public, where anyone could walk in- someone like Red could walk in.

       Red becomes so lost in her spiraling thoughts, that she jolts at the door behind her getting pulled open, and she spins to face the one responsible.

       Flushed, splotchy cheeks, pink ringed eyes that are wide in surprise- “Red? What are you-” Red scowls and grabs the girl’s wrist before yanking her back inside. “Hey, take it easy!”

       Blue catches herself on the counter as Red pushes her to it, and then spins with fire in her eyes. Red thinks that it’s much better than tears, but it’s still obvious that she’s been crying. “You’re an idiot,” Red informs her, watching the incensed spark grow in her shiny eyes. “You couldn’t hold it in until you got somewhere private? Anyone could walk in, and you’re a doormat enough as it is without someone seeing you like this.”

       “What?” Chloe’s anger fades slightly, morphing into bewilderment.

       “Give me your makeup,” Red demands, reaching her hand out.

       “Why,” she asks, seeming to automatically pass it over. The girl is too trusting. It’s going to get her hurt- if it hasn’t already, though Red figures she would have learned her lesson by now if that was why she was just bawling her eyes out.

       “I’m returning the favor,” Red says, reaching for a towel and wetting it while unzipping the makeup bag she was given. She’s made a fool of herself in front of the Auradon princess enough times that she feels she owes her for not broadcasting her embarrassment. She could, at least, make sure the girl doesn’t broadcast her own.

       Chloe goes still, more words dying on her tongue as Red gently grabs hold of her face to hold it steady while she gently runs the towel under her eyes. Red slowly but efficiently removes the rest of the makeup and whatever Chloe had added in a poor attempt to hide her vulnerability.

       The whole time, Red feels the other girl’s gaze boring into her like a live flame. When Red discards the towel and reaches for foundation, Chloe attempts to talk again. “What makes me a doormat?” It’s more conversational than it is insulted or confused. Like she doesn’t actually care one way or the other.

       Red clenches her jaw. “You’re nice . Being nice makes you weak, and being weak paints a target on your back. Clearly someone’s already figured it out. Crying about it isn’t going to make it any better. It will only make them want to hurt you even more.”

       “No one hurt me, Red,” Chloe says, closing her eyes as Red passes a brush over them. “I was crying because a friend confessed his feelings to me, and I had to turn him down.”

       “And he got angry and lashed out,” Red nods as things click into place in a way that makes sense. She feels relief at understanding. She reaches for the mascara brush.

       “No- Light, Red- he got sad . I was crying because I hurt him . I don’t like hurting people.”

       Red’s hand falters, and she withdraws it so she doesn’t make herself have to start over. It’s her turn to stare at the girl- loose-limbed and just trustingly letting Red do whatever she wanted to her face. She could be doing anything to it. Painting her up like a clown.

       After a moment of not feeling the touch of a brush, Chloe’s eyes flicker open to look back at Red.

       Red’s stomach is squirming again, and as soon as Chloe’s eyes meet her’s, Red ducks her head and reaches for the lipstick. She feels the other girl watching her again even as she automatically parts her lips for Red to have the easiest access. She focuses all her attention on that, and then when she’s done, she has to pull away. She doesn’t know why that seems so hard. Red takes a step back, finally meeting the eyes that have been watching her this whole time, and she’s surprised to see the blush she applied to her roommate’s cheeks spreading further than she intended. She’s usually good at not overdoing it.

       After a moment of them watching each other, Chloe turns to look at herself in the mirror. “Wow,” she says. “You can’t tell at all that I’ve been crying. How’d you do that?”

       “Practice,” Red says dryly, and then regrets it when that seems to draw the other girl’s full attention back to her. Her hands feel warm and there’s a gnawing in her stomach.

       “Well, thank you,” Chloe says, and Red’s ticking is still in her ears, so she turns back to the door. It’s almost like she could feel her heart, outside her body and pulsing against its box. She wonders if her mother has pulled it out to play with again. She does that when she wants Red to remember who owns it. As if Red could forget.

       “Don’t mention it. Seriously.”

       “It’s okay to be nice, you know,”  her roommate calls after her. “That doesn’t make you weak.”

       “I’m not nice, Princess,” Red retorts over her shoulder. “I’m my mother’s daughter. I’m only going to hurt you.”

       She hears quick steps behind her, and she’s surprised to find the girl suddenly at her shoulder, following her down the hall. “I get the feeling you’re more concerned about me hurting you ,” she says, matching Red’s pace, and she doesn’t know why. Why is this girl still following her? Why does she even care?

       “You’re wrong,” Red says, stopping abruptly and watching the other girl smoothly pivot and adjust. “If you care about me, I will hurt you. If I end up caring about you, my mother will hurt you. So it’s best you just steer clear. Okay?”

       “Isn’t that my choice to make?” Chloe reaches out and grips Red’s arm, and her stomach swoops. “My risk?”

       Red is tick-tick-ticking so loudly, and she scowls as she turns away. Her heart slams warningly against its box. “It’s your head,” Red hisses.

       Chloe skips happily beside her, and when Red darts a sideways glance, there is the largest smile she has ever seen on her roommate’s face, and she feels odd about being the cause.

She made her mother smile once. It did not feel nearly as good.

Chapter Text

There is a headache throbbing in Red’s temples, but she does her best to ignore it, squinting against the light of the room, and the sun, and the laptop the school provided for her. She rewinds the video she’s watching, letting it play out again as she has for the past hour.

       She turned the volume off when Chloe came into the room, but she doesn’t need it to know what is being said. The words. The tone. The tears audible in the back of her throat.

“I want to be good, you guys.”

       “I want to be good, you guys.”

                   “I want to be good, you guys.”

       It plays out in her head on repeat, the cameras zoomed into the future queen’s face. The emotion and vulnerability played out for all of Auradon.

                                                 “We are not our parents.”

       Was it really that simple for them?

       Red’s head pulses angrily, and she growls in frustration. The vibrations don’t help the ache, but it still soothes her somehow as she glares harder at her screen, determined not to let the headache win.

       “So, our project topic is due tomorrow; have you given it any thought?” a voice asks across the room. Chloe has been splitting her attention between polishing her sword and reading from her textbook for the past ten minutes, and each turn of her page makes irritation spark in Red’s chest.

       “You haven’t chosen one yourself yet?” Red spits. She doesn’t know why she’s mad. She just is.

       There is a moment of quiet in which Chloe doesn’t say anything, or turn a page, or shift her sword to a better angle. “You’re being snappish today,” she comments, carefully setting down her sword.

       “I’m always snappish,” Red immediately snaps back.

       “Yeah,” Chloe agrees as she stands up, not seeming to get that Red really is not in the mood for her incessant goody-goody judgment right now. “But earlier you snapped at a kid for breathing too loudly.”

       Red’s scowl deepens. “Well then maybe he shouldn’t-” she breaks off, startling as something settles over her ears and quiet engulfs her senses. Red silently stares up at her roommate as she moves on from Red’s side, pulling closed the curtains, flicking on a lamp, and turning off the overhead light.

       “Better?” she asks, voice dampened but still clear as she settles back onto her bed. Red blinks a couple times, lifting her fingers to touch the shell of the headphones resting over her ears and blocking out a dozen noises that Red hadn’t even processed she’d been bothered by. Already, her headache has eased to one continuous discomfort instead of a pulsing throb.

       “Yeah,” Red says, letting her hands fall away.

       “Thought so,” Chloe says, seeming entirely pleased as she reaches for her sword and polish again. “Can we try conversation again, or do you want me to leave you alone right now?”

       “I-” Red’s brain scrambles to process what’s happening, but she mostly just feels lost. But not angry anymore. Not like she was a mere minute ago. “What did you ask earlier?”

       “If you’ve thought of a topic for our Intro to Laws and Policies class. It’s okay if you haven’t. I was thinking maybe Child Abuse and Endangerment might be intresting to research.” Chloe is looking at her intensely again, something pointed behind her eyes that Red doesn’t have the mental capacity to sort out at the moment.

       “I-” Red glances back down at the laptop, watching the next clip that had automatically started playing; the Auradon queen turns into a dragon- a real monster, yet the people of Auradon aren’t afraid of her as she fights to defend them against the world she came from, even as it hurts her. “I want to learn about the Isle reforms,” Red says.

       “Oh,” Chloe says, blinking. “Okay. That could be interesting. You know, I have a cousin from the Isle; she actually graduates this year. She came over with the second batch of kids and came to stay with my family for a while once they realized that they needed to do something of an emergency foster program for kids first coming off, because a lot of them were orphans or couldn’t stay with their families.”

       “Why would they not be able to stay with their families?” Red asks, watching the future queen clutch her stomach and stagger as people surround her, offering her support. She rewinds the video, watching it again. The dragon can be hurt.

       “Because they’re being hurt by them instead of being taken care of. Or because their parents weren’t reformed, so had to be taken to a real prison to serve the rest of their sentence.”

       Red pauses the video, staring at the pain on Mal’s face, her weakness, but she refocuses her attention on her roommate. “And Auradon just, what, took care of all these kids?”

       “Well, their care fell under the responsibility of the nation of their parent’s birth. That way Central Auradon wasn’t burdened with the influx of all those refugees.”

       Because the Isle was full of Auradon citizens. Because all these separate countries are all bound together in one overall nation to share their burdens and citizenships. Wonderland isn’t a part of the United States of Auradon.

       An overwhelming exhaustion washes over Red, and she pushes her laptop closed and lays her head down in her arms as her limbs suddenly feel full of lead, and she doesn’t have the strength to keep her head up. She lets out a long sigh, and it feels as if the air is pulled out of her, and then she doesn’t have the energy to pull it back in. So she just sits there, not breathing. Unmoving.

       “Red?” Chloe calls gently, and Red could answer, but the very prospect seems not worth the effort it would take. So she just doesn’t.

       Her lungs inflate slowly. Deflate.

       “Okay, I’ll leave you alone for a bit.”

       Red closes her eyes.

……………

Red jolts awake, instinctively rolling to her feet before her eyes can take in the entirety of the room, but she knows she needs to move, to do something . Something bad is about to happen.

       “Whoa, easy,” Red hears, and it’s muffled, but her eyes lock onto her roommate who is crouched beside Red’s bed, hands up and empty and placating. Red watches her mouth forming the words, “You were having a nightmare. It’s okay. You’re okay.” But she’s not okay. Chloe sounds wonky, the room sounds wonky, and Red’s hands come up to claw at her ears and her fingers jam against a hard shell.

       Chloe’s headphones. They are blocking the noise. Red rips them off, letting them bounce against her bed, and the world rushes in, somehow louder than before she was wearing them, but better than a moment ago, even if she can now hear her own labored gasping.

       The room is darker, still lit by the lamp, but the ambient light leaking through the curtains is no more. She needs out. Her ears are hot and the side that was pressed against the bed hurts like she’s been walloped upside the head with the butt of a spear. She needs to go.

       Her roommate must read it on her face, because as soon as Red starts moving, she’s in front of the door, hands still stupidly hanging in the air as if that means anything to Red. “Red, no. You aren’t doing this anymore, remember? Just calm down.”

       “Blue, move,” Red demands.

       “Just- you can’t go like this. Okay? Breathe. Light , please just breathe.”

       Red can’t , she needs out , so she pivots and lunges for the window. She wrenches it open and throws herself onto the ledge, and Chloe shrieks behind her. Red twists and grasps at divots in the stone, maneuvering herself sideways and down, and the movements are familiar if a little more skidding than climbing at the moment. The gravity is heavy and pulling at her, but there is wind on her back and strain in her muscles, and Red can breathe . Red can escape. She’s not chained up in the dungeon, trapped in the dark. There are no rats, drawn by the scent of her blood, that lurk just out of reach, waiting for her to fall asleep. She’s free.

       Or, at least as free as she’s ever been able to get.

………………

Red finds herself climbing back up the same stones she clung to on the way down just as the sky is turning gray with a new day. She’s a lot calmer going up than she had been going down, and her punishment for her hasty descent lies in the sting of her scraped off fingertips.

       As Red throws a leg over the windowsill, she pauses, seeing the lamp still on and her roommate not asleep as she had expected. The blue girl leaps to her feet upon seeing Red, and she wrings her fingers in an obvious outward anxiety.

       “Thank gods,” she says, rushing forward to help haul Red into the room, even though Red has been climbing through windows for over two years now. She goes rigid when Chloe doesn’t let go of her after that, but wraps her arms fully around her in some sort of crushing punishment.

       It doesn’t hurt in actuality. At least not physically. It almost seems to hurt more as her roommate pulls away , and Red doesn't know what to do with that feeling, so she just stares dumbly. It’s like her skin is threaded with stitches and her roommate holds the end of it, trying to drag her closer.

       “Sorry, sorry, I know you don’t like to be touched,” Chloe says, quickly stepping back and pulling her hands into her chest. “Just- I was so worried. Light, please don’t ever do that again. I thought you were trying to-” She falters, voice wobbling. “Just use the door; I promise to move out of the way next time.”

       “It’s-” Red breaks her gaze, glaring off to the side in discomfort. No one has ever apologized this genuinely to her before- not without fear etched into their expressions as they next pleaded for their life. As if Red had any say in that. “Fine. I’m…” Red glares harder, long trained out of apologies, “sorry, too. For worrying you. I’m not used to people caring.”

       “I do, you know,” Blue says, ducking her head to try and connect their eyes, but Red just turns her head the other way to avoid that. “Care about you.”

       “Even though I’m super weak?” Red scoffs.

       “I don’t think you’re weak at all,” Chloe counters, reaching out again, but her hand stops just shy of Red’s shoulder. Red sways forward without really thinking, leaning into the gentle touch, and she hurts even more for it. It’s- something is wrong. There is a pulling in her chest, and she doesn’t know why or what it wants. “And even if you were, yes, even then.”

       Red’s throat is clogged as Chloe brushes her thumb over the spot Red pushed into her hand, and static moves over her skin, raising every hair on her body. Red scoffs to clear her airways and forces herself to move past her roommate and toward the bathroom to get ready for the day.

       “Whatever.”

       Don’t care, don’t care, don’t care…

……………..

“Hey,” Chloe calls out, voice soft, just before Red reaches for the doorknob. She had planned to start avoiding the girl again, but her body automatically turns at the request, stiff, eyes drinking in the girl slumped a bit at her desk.

       Her eyes are a bit lidded with the beginning of shadows under them, and Red feels the twist of guilt in her gut. Chloe had stayed up all night waiting for her . Because she cared , apparently. How foolish of her to admit.

       “Can you, um,” Chloe shifts uncertainly. “Can you do my makeup again? Like before? Please?”

       Red steps forward. She rationalizes that it’s the least she can do after being the reason the girl is so tired. “I need you higher,” Red says, and her voice sounds strange to her own ears. It’s… softer. She clears her throat and reaches for the bag of makeup sitting open on the table.

       Chloe easily follows her request, rising from her chair, and she plants herself onto her work desk instead.

       Red hesitates before stepping forward. She feels like there is a line attached to her skin again. Her fingertips buzz with a restless, anticipatory, energy. Red jolts as Chloe sighs at her first touch and leans into her steadying hand.

       “Sorry,” Chloe says, blinking sleepily and straightening slightly.

       “It’s… fine,” Red says, going back to brushing foundation over already nearly flawless skin. She just needs a bit under her eyes. As she works, Chloe almost seems to sway, so Red has to keep gently catching her shoulders to steady her. And each time, Red finds it harder and harder to remove her hands, until her movements are less efficient and more dragging in her task.

       Red keeps getting distracted, staring at the point of contact she has with the other girl and wondering why she seems to want it so much. Wondering why she can’t make herself stop wanting it. Luckily, the princess seems too out of it for her to notice Red’s weirdness, even if Red does feel her sleepy eyes on her the whole time.

       “Thanks,” Chloe yawns as Red puts the makeup back in the bag, zipping it up as slowly as all her other movements this morning.

       “Whatever,” Red automatically replies, discomforted at the show of appreciation. No one thanks Red for her actions. She’s not kind in them.

       Red should move on, go back on her way, out the door- but something holds her in place as Chloe slides off the desk, close enough that their clothes brush as she reaches for her bag. “You want to come to breakfast with me?” she asks, not seeming bothered that Red hasn’t stepped back yet.

       Her body is slow to obey her brain as she finally does.

       Red feels off. That’s the only thing she can reason out as her mouth opens and the words, “Okay,” fall out. It almost doesn’t matter when that response has a blinding smile directed at her, and she blinks under the glare. It’s almost too much for her eyes, but much like her first look at the Auradon blue skies, she finds it difficult to look away from blue curls and flashing teeth.

       Red finds herself trailing behind her roommate, feeling confused and a bit lost. Chloe keeps looking back at her with that smile, but each time she does, it becomes a bit dimmer. Red feels that that’s more accurate to how she should be looked at.

       When Chloe looks back a final time, it’s a slight frown. Red still can’t look away. Her roommate stops just before the mess hall doors and turns fully to Red. “Are you okay?” she asks. “Are you dissociating right now?”

       Red’s brain slowly turns over the word, trying to place it. “I still don’t know what that means,” she says, when she does vaguely recall it.

       “It’s kind of like an out of body thing. Like your body doesn’t feel like yours, or you’re watching yourself at a distance. Kind of like you’re disconnected from your brain and body.”

       “Oh,” Red replies. Chloe means when she goes on autopilot. Is she doing that now? She doesn’t really feel outside her body, more heavy sitting in it and everything outside of her is muffled. Like she’s submerged under water just before her brain realizes that- hey, you still need air. She doesn’t know, she just feels off . She can’t think . “I don’t know. Maybe.”

       “Oh,” Chloe says, seeming surprised by Red’s answer as if she hadn’t really expected one. Red does tend to ignore her sometimes. “Okay, um, should we… I mean do you… That is-”

       “Charming!” a voice cuts in, and the rest of the world floods in with it- the rushing noise of the mess hall, the pain in her shredded fingertips as Red picks at them (which she immediately stops doing), and the hard, immovable feel of the tile under her boots. She takes a step back as she realizes how close she was standing with her roommate and knocks into someone trying to sneak around her- because they are standing directly in the way of the doors.

       The person who called out, one of the girls that is always hanging around Blue, stops short upon reaching them, eyes narrowed at Red. “Chlo, what are you doing with her ?”

       “Hey, look at that-” Red immediately jumps in, tone bland and mocking. “At least some one has a brain,” she compliments as a sneer twists her face, and she ignores the way her roommate winces.

       “Jada, that’s not-” she turns pleadingly toward Red next, “Come on, Red, she didn’t- wait, where are you going?”

       “To get food,” Red says over her shoulder. “Don’t worry, you still get to experience my sunny personality this morning. I’ll find you.” Red makes a beeline for the most surgery cereal in existence that could almost be its own dessert as it changes the white milk to chocolate milk by the time you’re done eating it. Auradon really does have the best food.

       She hears Chloe’s exasperated sigh behind her, “ Seriously ?”

       And the responding- “What?”

       Red isn’t used to the large variety of options. Her meals in Wonderland were taken with her mother, in the large dining hall, with only her mother’s occasional disappointed beratement to break the silence. For the past few years, she’d usually skipped breakfast entirely, often lunch as well, just to avoid her mother.

       Unfortunately, dinner was mandatory.

       After Red acquires her bowl, she turns to find her roommate. It’s not difficult to spot her with her head ducked toward two other girls and a boy. Red wonders if this is the boy who’s sadness made Blue cry.

       The group is so immersed in their whispers that it’s easy to sneak up on them, not that Red was really trying to be sneaky. She couldn’t care less about what they are talking about.

       “-so mean, I don’t know why you’re even bothering. She doesn’t give a shit about you.”

       “You really are too nice for your own good, Chlo, but trying to befriend that- it’s a lost cause.”

       “I heard she was her mother’s executioner back home, and that she shrinks and collects the heads of the ones she cut off personally. How many do you think she has?”

       “Guys, seriously, shut up. You don’t know anything about her. She’s not like that.”

       “I know that if you let her, she’s going to hurt you.”

       “They’re right, of course,” Red breaks in, making everyone at the table jump and spin toward her. Red regards them drily. “Boo,” she intones.

       “I’m not your Boo,” Chloe retorts, and then blinks under all of their collective confusion. “Never mind. Guys, be nice or leave.”

       Red considers her roommate before shrugging and turning on her heel. She doesn’t get a step away before a hand closes around her wrist. “Not you.” Warmth floods through Red, and she finds herself sinking down into the chair beside the blue girl as she stares at the point of contact. She’s being touched again. Chloe squeezes her hand and then retracts it, and it feels like something important is stolen from her.

       Red scowls down at her cereal, not feeling very hungry.

       “Huh,” one of the girls utters.

       “What?” Chloe asks.

       “Nothing,” she says hastily, and then a hand is shoved into Red’s line of sight. “I’m Amerie. That’s Jada and Shane.”

       Red raises her gaze to look at the girl. The appendage dangles there for a moment, and then the girl starts insistently waving about her hand. “Do you want me to bite it?” Red asks, confused.

       Amerie quickly withdraws it. “Okay, no handshakes in Wonderland. Got it.”

       “Or manners,” Jada mutters, still scowling as she sits with her arms crossed. She’s not touching her food, either.

       “Guys,” Chloe sighs. “I’m trying to get Red to socialize. Please don’t scare her away.”

       “I’m not here to ‘socialize,’ Princess,” Red scoffs, swirling her spoon around her bowl, “Nor can anyone at this table scare me. I don’t need, nor do I want, friends.”

       “Well, sucks to be you, then,” the princess says, stabbing at her plate. “Because you have at least one already. I’m your friend.”

       Huh. She was wrong.

       Red feels panic light along her bones as she turns wide eyes to her roommate. Chloe stares back, jaw stubbornly set, eyebrow raised in challenge. Red wants to protest. To vehemently deny it. But she’s also come to understand that her roommate is nearly as stubborn as Red is, if not more so, and the girl will probably only get more vocal about her claims the more Red rebukes her.

       “Don’t let my mother hear you say that,” Red warns instead (probably the more productive option), tick-tick-ticking in her ears. “Ever.”

       “Why, what’ll happen?” Shane asks, and Red feels an instant, piercing pain run through her before something in her chest snaps in response. It’s an instinctive defense against the heartache. One that she hates but still clings to, because it’s the only acceptable reaction for her mother. It’s unfiltered rage that burns out anything else until she can’t tell them apart. Nothing can exist beside it- not hurt nor compassion.

       “Go up and tell her you’re my friend, next time you see her, and find out. Now fuck off,” Red sneers angrily and shoves away from the table.

       “Red, you didn’t eat anyth-”

       “I said fuck off, Blue,” Red snarls behind her.

       “Great,” she sighs.

       “Awesome new friend you got there, Charming,” Jada drawls, and that just pisses Red off more as she spins on her heel, takes two quick steps back toward the table, and throws her bowl of cereal at the girl.

       Everyone at the table gasps as the chocolate turned milk makes trails down her face and drips from her hair past her gaping mouth.

       The fury in Red’s empty chest feels like it’s stabbing her, because she cared , once- she had friends, once- but that was a mistake for everyone.

       “ Red!” Chloe shouts, bursting from her chair, but Red spins again and stalks out of the mess hall with silence stretching behind her. It echoes through the utter quiet of the cafeteria. Satisfaction curdles in her stomach like too many sweets.

…………………

Red shoulders her bag as she stalks through the halls, feeling a dozen eyes on her at once as they part for her. She doesn’t hesitate to push into the room she was directed to for a detention, and then stops abruptly just inside the door.

       Principal Uma lifts an eyebrow at her, arms crossed and leaning casually against the edge of the teacher’s desk. She’s the only one in the room, and she tilts her head at a seat in front of her, indicating where she expects Red to go.

       Red sighs and lets her bag fall to the floor as she slumps into the chair. “What do you want?”

       “For you to not throw things at your classmates, for one,” she retorts without pause. She uncrosses her arms, bracing them behind her on the desk with a casual air as she kicks out a foot to cross at her ankle. “I know you don’t trust it here yet, but could you at least pretend to give a fuck while you are still deciding weather to let your mom destroy Auradon? Or has that decision been made already?”

       Red blinks at the swear coming from the woman, before hissing, “There is no decision.”

       “Sure there is. I know you don’t believe that, but there is.”

       “Why don’t you just get it over with, then, and have it off with my head,” Red challenges, bristling even more. This Auradon sea witch knows nothing .

       Uma doesn’t even blink at Red’s spitting anger, and it makes her even more furious. Well, it would if she wasn’t already burnt out and empty. “Well, for one, this is Auradon and they get a bit squeamish about killing over here,” she says. “And also, because you haven’t done anything wrong yet. Well, aside from make an enemy out of Aladdin's youngest. Whoo , does she hate you.”

       Red glares at the pirate, shifting in discomfort. Auradon is weird. No one acts the way they are supposed to.

       After a moment of silence, Uma’s casual disinterest drops into something softer, throwing Red’s understanding of things even more. “How are you doing out here, really, kid? Is it getting any better? Auradon is a little more open minded since we fully integrated the Isle, but there are always assholes. Not to mention, the culture clash is a bitch.”

       “You should never have invited me here,” Red informs her, jaw clenched tight.

       Uma laughs, clicking her tongue. “Not really my style, taking the easy way out. And if Mal didn’t want me doing something controversial and risky, she wouldn’t have given me this kind of power while she’s gone.” She straightens from her slouch, moving off to the side.

       “We done here?” Red asks, reaching for her bag in anticipation of escape, but Uma then moves to slump down behind the teacher’s desk, kicking her feet up onto it.

       “Nope. You still have to sit in here for 50 minutes with me. We can chat if you want. Or we can sit in silence. Your call. But you’ll be serving all your detentions with me going forward.”

       Red scowls and pulls out her notebook, resigning herself to doodling for the next good while instead of doing anything productive. At least she doesn’t have to write stupid lines. She only had to do it once at Wonderland High, and once was enough to lose half her mind before she ever lost her heart.

Chapter Text

Chloe might be a smidge… obsessed with her roommate. But Red isn’t like anyone Chloe has ever met, and she’s… hurting, and Chloe just wants to help. She can’t really do that, though, when getting Red to interact with her is like trying to pull teeth (trying to pull teeth from a child’s mouth who is actively trying to prevent you from doing so by trying to bite your fingers off).

       And since Red won’t voluntarily interact with Chloe of her own accord, Chloe has to find any excuse she can to get the girl engaging with her. She feels like she’s made at least some progress.

       “Red,” Chloe calls as the girl in question steps out of the bathroom, hair damp around her shoulders from her shower. She pauses just outside the door, looking at Chloe questioningly. “Can you come over here, please; I want to teach you something.”

       The Wonderland princess tilts her head curiously before crossing the room. Chloe feels that it’s a huge victory- Red willingly interacting with her.

       “Teach me what?” she asks, perching on the edge of Chloe’s desk chair.

       “How to hand-shake,” Chloe says.

       Red blinks. Then, with a deadpan, uncertain expression, she lifts her hands and does something like jazz hands. Chloe slaps a hand over her mouth to stop a laugh, and she feels her face flush in pleasure.

       That was the cutest thing she’s ever seen.

       “Not like that. It’s a greeting. Here, you stick your hand out like this,” Chloe demonstrates what Amerie had done earlier, and Red once again looks down at Chloe's hand like it is something bizarre.

       “If someone sticks their hand in my face, I’m biting it,” Red says.

       “Just do it, please,” Chloe begs, and to her surprise, Red sighs and thrusts her hand out toward Chloe. Chloe very gently takes the offered hand and gives it a small pump. “There,” Chloe hums. “A hand-shake. It’s a way of introducing yourself to people. A greeting. See?”

       Red bites her lip, watching their clasped hands. Then she brings them both up to her face and bites Chloe on the arm.

       Chloe instinctively jerks backward, before her gasp turns to a laugh as her brain processes that Red hadn’t bitten her hard. More of a nip than anything- just a light pressure. “Red- why ?” Chloe questions, trying to smother her amusement.

       “Why not?” Red says. “You wanted to shake my hand, I wanted to bite you. Maybe that’s a Wonderland greeting.”

       “Is it?” Chloe challenges.

       “No, but why do I have to do this at all? People already know who I am, why do I have to introduce myself?”

       “Because it’s how you talk to people- how you start a conversation. It’s nice.”

       “I’m not nice, Princess,” Red scoffs as she has before, like it’s a mantra, “And I don’t want to talk to anyone.”

       “You’re talking to me ,” Chloe argues.

       “That’s different.”

       “How?”

       “Because I…” She frowns. “Because you’re…” Her brow furrows in confused frustration. “It just is .”

       Chloe feels a thrilled flutter. Red likes, or at least doesn’t mind, talking to her. See? Progress. “Well, haven’t you found anyone else you don’t mind talking to? Maybe back home?”

       She feels immediate regret and nerves after she asks it. Because what if Red hasn’t? What if she didn’t have anyone at all . When Red’s expression softens after only a moment of thought, Chloe feels immense relief.

       “Maddox.”

       Chloe waits for her to continue. To offer any more information on who and what Maddox is to her, but it becomes apparent after a few moments that she wasn’t going to. The thoughtful softness on Red’s face suddenly makes Chloe’s stomach squirm in discomfort.

       “Tell me about him?” she requests.

       Red blinks, focussing back on Chloe. She leans back against the desk, hand dropping down to fiddle with a picture frame that has Chloe and her brother smiling out of it, swords in hand and faces smudged in dirt.

       “He’s like… my mentor, I guess? I don’t know, most of my tutors growing up only taught me what my mom wanted them to teach. A couple years ago, though, she let me go to a real school for, like, a month, which is where I met him and-...” Her expression darkens for a moment, pulling at Chloe’s curiosity, but then she is firmly backtracking. “Which is where I met him. When my mom pulled me out, he volunteered to come work at the castle full time as my new tutor. It’s dangerous working in the castle or anywhere near my mother, but I think he volunteered for me . He… worries about me? I guess.”

       “He protects you?” Chloe gently asks.

       “No,” Red says. Then frowns. “Well, when he can. But it’s dangerous.”

       She wants to reach out, offer the physical comfort that comes so naturally to her, but she resists. “I’m sure the risk was worth it to him,” she says

       Red doesn’t seem any more comforted by that than if Chloe had embraced her, because the lines of unhappiness grow more pronounced on her face. “But if he gets caught, then he’d be gone, too. Then what was even the point? My mom won’t actually kill me .”

       Chloe can visibly see it on Red’s face as her thoughts go darker and darker, and she hadn’t meant for this little lesson to go in this direction. She didn’t mean to make Red start spiraling in what-ifs, so she thrusts her hand out again with a wide smile that becomes a little more real as Red startles in surprise, some of the darkness fading as she blinks.

       “Well, then shake my hand,” Chloe says. “To find more people you don’t mind talking to, you have to meet them first. And there’s no harm trying out here, right? Your mother isn’t here.” Red once again hesitates to take it. She does, though, with only slightly less reservations. “Unless you just don’t like handshakes?” she quickly checks as it occurs to her that handshakes might feel just as intimate as a hug for someone averse to physical contact. “Is it because it involves touching, or is it some other reason?”

       “I don’t dislike it,” Red automatically argues, coming to life and seeming to forget the heaviness of before, or at least willing to push it aside. She bites her lip again as she stares at their clasped hands. “It just makes me want to bite you.”

       Chloe huffs in amusement, quickly allowing her friend’s hand to drop. She doesn’t want to make her overly uncomfortable- that’s not the goal- especially when she still has her undivided (non-hostile) attention. This might be a record. “If you want me to stop, that means you dislike it.”

       “I didn’t say I want you to stop, I just want to bite you .”

       Chloe pauses, uncertain now. “ Is it a Wonderland thing?” she asks. Red shrugs. “Huh. So…” Chloe reaches out, slowly slipping both of her hands into Red’s, no longer interested in just teaching Red how to say hello the Auradon way. She wonders how far she can push her. “Holding hands is okay?”

       Chloe watches, fascinated, as a flush seems to crawl up Red’s neck, and she shifts in the chair. “I guess?” she says. She sways forward, into Chloe’s space, and then sways backward back out of it, hands tightening their hold on Chloe’s fingers.

       “Huh,” Chloe says again. She has so many theories she wants to test.

…………………….

Chloe has started thinking of Red a bit like a stray cat. She’s met lots of stray cats growing up, because her mom likes to take any looking for food and shelter into the castle. A lot of them are scarred and menacing at first, always quick to use their claws or teeth. Always fluffed up to twice their size to make themselves seem more dangerous.

       But they are also desperate for the safety of food and shelter, and even comfort. They will hiss and bite even as they push into your touch, growl and glare at you even as they make biscuits in your lap.

       It’s hilarious and heartbreaking all at the same time, because they desperately seek out the comfort even as they don’t trust it, even as they don’t know what to do with it.

       Red reminds her uncannily of those cats she’s spent weeks with as a kid, trying to get them to come closer, while her mom sat not too far away telling her she just had to be patient.

       Chloe tells herself she just needs to be patient, now, every time the bathroom door slams, every time Red snaps at her, every time she smothers a brief glimpse of who Chloe thinks Red really is under a look of disdain like she couldn’t be bothered to care about anything.

       Chloe thinks she actually cares a lot.

       And Chloe does see it- glimpses of vulnerability- lost eyes when presented with kindness, or a touch, or when Chloe tells her that she cares. Red isn’t bad, Chloe decides. She’s stuck in survival mode.

       So maybe inviting her to eat with her friends didn’t turn out so great, but at least she had a kind of conversation before shutting down. At least, more of a conversation than she’s had with anyone else outside of Chloe. Besides, Jada kind of deserved getting food thrown at her. Her protectiveness, that Chloe normally appreciates, can make her a bit of a jerk sometimes. Unfortunately, Red lashing back won’t make her friend reevaluate her words and actions, so it’s probably best to just keep the two of them separate for now.

       Maybe she should just work on getting Red to acknowledge Chloe as a friend, first, before trying to get her more. In hindsight, she really should have expected Red to be shocked at Chloe declaring them so, even though it felt obvious to her.

       Chloe feels her skin prickle every time Red’s eyes fall on her. Red has been looking at her very often after that disastrous breakfast. She hovers, just randomly appearing around Chloe, when before she did her best to keep her distance. She has to resist pushing too fast, pushing for too much. Chloe feels like just looking at Red too quickly will have her scurrying back into the bushes. Red isn’t a stray cat, of course, but Chloe can’t help how much she adjusts her mindset in treating her like one.

       Chloe turns in her chair and watches Red’s head duck back to her screen, pretending as if she hadn’t been staring. She resists smiling and stands up. Red looks up again to watch her cross the room toward her.

       “Can I lie down?” Chloe asks, indicating the open spot next to her on the bed.

       Red blinks. At least she’s not scowling at Chloe all the time anymore. “Why?”

       “Because we need to start going over the details of our project, and start splitting up the work, and planning when we want to bring all of our research together. We should probably mark the dates we want to have each portion completed by so we aren’t waiting for the last minute to do everything at once.”

       “Um,” Red frowns, and Chloe patiently waits, wondering if Red is going to question why Chloe needs to be right next to her to do all this. “Okay,” she says, and Chloe carefully slides onto the bed with her own laptop and notebook. She is careful to keep some space between their bodies, so it’s very obvious to her the way Red seems to almost list toward her, shortening the distance Chloe attempted to give her.

       “Great, so, we are supposed to research how our law or policy came about and the issues that stemmed from it, so I think we need to go back to the very first proposal of creating the Isle, and then the sequence of following policy after it’s creation verses the reality of what actually devolved from it. Our project is more about the evolution of issues after the barrier was brought down, but it’s best to have an overall understanding of everything surrounding it. Sound good?”

       Red merely blinks at her, face closing off to something unimpressed, and Chloe laughs nervously.

       “Right,” Chloe licks her lips and reaches for Red’s computer. “Let me show you the website that stores records of all of Auradon’s policies. You can look for the bigger picture ones that apply to the wider Auradon, and I’ll look into the policies of individual kingdoms, because those differ, too.”

       As Chloe reaches across Red, their arms bump together, and Chloe feels Red stiffen and her eyes drilling holes in the side of her head again. Chloe carefully keeps her focus, ignoring the scrutiny as she walks through the steps of the site and how to search for specific things, and she doesn’t even know if Red is paying attention or not.

       There is a slight tremble to her body that shivers the bed, and Chloe worries that she’s pushing too much, maybe she was wrong, but then Red is suddenly pressing entirely up against her side and Chloe breaks off. Her heart beats faster in excitement, and she swallows a lump in her throat, and she leans the slightest bit in return before continuing her explanation.

………………..

Red starts giving Chloe gifts. Not anything big or flashy. If it wasn’t Red doing it, Chloe wouldn’t have even really taken notice of it. But it was Red, which is why the first time she deposited a brownie onto Chloe’s desk and continued on to her side of the room, Chloe stared at it for a long moment.

       Brownies are Red’s favorite. She is always squirreling them away, and though she likes to try anything new on the sweet platter, she always returns to the chocolate squares.

       Chloe isn’t overly fond of them, but she’s struck by how sweet the action is, of Red bringing Chloe something that she obviously enjoys so much.

       The next gift she presents without a word, depositing it in Chloe’s hand and then flitting away awkwardly, is a rock. It’s shiny and blue. Smooth. Just a decoration pebble used in potted plants. But blue is so obviously Chloe’s color, and the gift reveals that Red had been thinking of her.

       Red brings her a dozen small, insignificant, things- rocks, treats, flowers, colorful leaves. Chloe’s favorite gifts are the drawings she finds on her bed or slipped in the pages of her text books. Sometimes of trees, or Beast’s statue, but a clear repeat subject to Red’s drawings seems to be Chloe herself in random moments of the day. Doing homework. Cleaning her sword. The back of her head in class.

       Each gift makes Chloe feel flustered and warm, and she wishes she could gush to her friends about how sweet it all is. Red is sweet . Who would have thought? It’s a wonderful discovery, paired with the almost shyness of each presentation of a gift.

       But she can’t really gush to them about it, because Jada always gets a scowl when anything to do with Red comes up, and Chloe doesn’t want to ruin the stirrings of happiness these small offerings give her by having Jada say something snide about it.

       Red’s presents have their own drawer dedicated to them, that Chloe opens up to look through when she just needs to smile- whenever Red is being particularly difficult and grumpy, and she needs a reminder that she is making a difference. It’s a bit dizzying how quickly those instances of frustration become farther in between, and she opens the drawer mostly just because it makes her happy.

       Red makes her happy. Nearly as much as she makes her worry. Chloe never knew that one person could make her feel such extremes of emotions.

Chapter Text

“Chloe Charming, just the princess we were looking for,” an exuberant voice calls out, shoulder bouncing against the locker beside Chloe’s head with put-upon friendliness.

       Chloe resists sighing at the intrusion, no matter how harmless the boys actually are in their mildly irritating dialogue. “What do you want, Claude?”

       “My buddy here and I were having a debate, and you seem the perfect person to weigh in, right Gregg?” He flings an arm across Chloe’s shoulders, tugging her into his side like they are closer than they actually are. He acts this familiar with everyone, though, whether he just met them or has known them since elementary, so Chloe just resigns herself to being manhandled. “So anyway, we have this debate on whether you having Miss Red of Hearts as a roommate, and you sucking up to her, is going to make her more or less inclined to take off your head when she and her mom try to take over Auradon.”

       Annoyance spiked, Chloe brushes off the boy's arm and turns to close her locker. “First of all, Red isn’t going to try and take over Auradon. Second-”

       “Oh come on, Charming,” Gregory interrupts, rolling his eyes and folding his arms, “Half the VKs tried. Chances are pretty good that she has a plan. A plan that involves beheading people, and being evil, and trying to make mommy dearest proud. She definitely strikes me as a girl with mommy issues.”

       “Okay, you need to back off,” Chloe says, getting incensed now at their casual disparaging of her roommate. It’s not funny. It’s not even remotely okay. “Now.”

       “Jeeze, lighten up,” Claude laughs, shoving her shoulder lightly, before his eyes drop from her face to trace down her body. “Don’t tell me she’s going the love spell route- that’s so overused. The king was spelled, what, four times? Though why she would target you , I don’t-”

       “She said back the fuck off !” A snarl rips through the normal hallway chatter, and the color red is suddenly engulfing Chloe’s vision as her roommate in question magically appears in front of her, shoving the two boys away. Three quick pop poppops crack through the hallway, and Chloe jumps as red and pink sparks burst from Red’s fingertips, and they almost seem to take the shape of hearts before fizzling out.

       The boys scramble backward, either dragging each other out of the way or trying to use the other as a shield- both equally likely. “Crazy bitch,” Gregg utters, and then stumbles back more when Red takes another threatening step forward.

       Chloe catches her friend’s shoulders, trying to tug her back and around, but Red seems reluctant to leave the confrontation at that. “Red- no ,” Chloe tells her. “It’s fine. They were just being stupid.”

       Red turns on her, and oh, her eyes aren’t brown at that moment. They shimmer almost pink, and paired with the furious look, Choe’s heart beats faster.

       And then Red snaps, “This is what being nice gets you.” She grabs harshly at Chloe’s scabbard, yanking it (and Chloe) forward into her space, and then shoves her back with it. Chloe has to catch herself on the lockers as they abruptly stop her momentum, and the sound echoes around the hallway. “You walk around with a sword, for hearts sake; fucking use it.”

       Chloe winces at the rough handling and genuine fury radiating off of the other girl. She knows that this is Red caring. That she wouldn’t have even bothered getting involved if she didn’t, and this is Red’s way of being protective - but Chloe’s insides twist as Red lifts her chin and looks down on her like she’s the gum on the bottom of her shoe. She hasn’t had this Look directed at her in a while (she’s grown used to puppydog eyes, and nervous hovering, and shy gift presentations), and she feels an unfortunate burn in her eyes that she locks her jaw against.

       Red’s face instantly seems to drop as she looks at Chloe, the Look falling away in a blink, and then she reaches out, hands fluttering just over Chloe’s body. “Don’t,” she says, lost, “..do that. That’s not…”

       Feeling the eyes of everyone on them, Chloe decides that they need to hash this out outside of the hallway, and Chloe reaches out to capture one of her friend’s hovering hands and drag her toward their room. Red trails willingly, utterly quiet.

       By the time she reaches for the door handle, Chloe has lost the fight with her tears and she’s sniffling as she shuts the door behind them. Red shifts awkwardly in front of Chloe, brows furrowed uncertainly. It makes Chloe feel slightly better, that Red is so concerned with making her cry.

       Until she opens her mouth and says, “I told you I’d hurt you-”

       “No,” Chloe snaps, and Red flinches backward. “You don’t get to do that.”

       Red isn’t looking at Chloe anymore. She’s staring down at the ground, picking at her fingertips. “I made you cry.”

       “Yeah, you made me cry. Not those boys who were bothering me, saying awful things. What does that say?”

       “I don’t-” she shifts about on her feet, and then turns to Chloe’s desk and starts rearranging her things. “That I’m not-” A strange noise comes out of the Wonderland girl, and Chloe finally calms down as she watches the other girl struggle. A week ago, Red wouldn’t have even bothered trying to come up with an answer.

       Chloe sighs before reaching into her desk for a rubix cube and handing it off. Red stares at it for a moment, before experimentally twisting it and watching the colors align.

       “It means that I don’t care about those boys, Red. They can’t hurt me as much as someone I care about can- I know you know that- you told me that. What you say, and do, can hurt me.” Red’s head ducks closer and closer toward the cube, but Chloe knows that she’s listening. Chloe reaches out, touching Red’s arm, and she doesn’t flinch away. She cants into it. “So apologize and don’t do it again.”

       Red’s eyes flicker up, a solemn warning in them. “I’m going to do it again.”

       “Try not to,” Chloe counters, because she can acknowledge that that’s probably true...

       Red twists the cube one more time, leaving all the red squares facing up as she passes it back. Her eyes are guiltily off to the side again. “I didn’t mean to hurt you. I was trying not to let you get hurt.”

       “I know,” Chloe admits. “And I appreciate it. But I don’t need you to come in guns blazing over two obnoxious boys. Okay?”

       “Yeah,” Red says, and then goes and shuts herself in the bathroom. Chloe sighs. Well, that could have gone worse.

…………………

Chloe stills as a weight settles next to her on her mattress, and she can see red in the corner of her eye. She feels like if she looks over, though, it will spook the girl back to her side of the room.

       Very slowly, Chloe turns her head away from her book.

       Red is pouting. Well, she’s pretty sure it’s supposed to be a scowl, but there is no vitriol behind it, so it looks more like a pout as she stares down at her fingers, fidgeting with Chloe’s duvet.

       “I’m… sorry…” Red says slowly, and then immediately grimaces and shifts in discomfort. Her whole body squirms, and it almost seems to bring them closer on the bedspread. She entertains herself with the possibility that it was deliberate.

       “For what?” Chloe asks cautiously.

       “For making you cry,” Red elaborates.

       Chloe lifts her eyebrows in surprise. She shouldn’t be, though, surprised that Red was still thinking about that hallway incident three days later. Red is definitely the kind of person to get stuck on things- like a guilty thought.

       “I’ve already forgiven you,” Chloe informs her. Her pout seems to deepen, before turning almost into a real scowl as her hands fist in the blanket.

       “Then why haven’t you-” she cuts herself off with a growl as she buries her face in her arms. Then she rolls away. “Nevermind.”

       Chloe bites her lip as she watches Red stalk to the door, and she glances at the clock. Curfew was 45 minutes ago. “Where are you going?” she can’t help but blurt, and she winces as Red stiffens, shoulders inching toward her ears.

       “I just- need some air.”

       Chloe’s heart beats unsteadily as she watches her roommate’s increasingly agitated movements. She had promised she wouldn’t stop her from going out the door in the future. When she had lunged for the window, Chloe had been thinking about those cuts on her arms and thought for sure she was trying to kill herself- because Chloe wouldn’t let her out- because she wasn’t able to escape.

       To Chloe, the door is a much better option than the window, but she still worries at the thought of Red off alone in the dark, contemplating the thoughts that get stuck.

       “Can…” It goes against everything in her, everything she’s always done. “Can I go with you?”

       Red whips around, eyes wide in surprise. And then… her mouth twitches. Her eyes light up and her lip curls slightly upward, before she schools her expression. But Chloe had seen it. Red almost smiled. She feels heat rush to her face.

       “Yeah,” Red says, tilting her head in a welcoming gesture, and Chloe scrambles after her.

       Chloe feels immense paranoia as she follows Red through the first couple halls- so much so that she jumps at every shadow and sound, sure they are going to get caught outright in their deviant behavior. Chloe has never deliberately broken the rules before.

       Her anxiety keeps mounting with every hallway as she worries about running into a teacher, or security, so she puts all of her attention and focus on observing Red instead, trying to figure out what the girl had been looking for earlier. Red seems to drift as they walk, feet carrying her closer and closer toward Chloe until she notices her proximity and forcefully jerks away. Chloe thinks about how Red came over to her bed and laid out, much like Chloe had been doing for homework since they started working on their project together, except Chloe hadn’t been doing that the past few days because she’s had to spend extra time with her friends and reassure them that, no, her roommate isn’t abusive to her.

       Slightly flabbergasted about the way things seem to be aligning, Chloe reaches out and catches Red’s hand as it swings too close again. Red startles, turning wide eyes to Chloe, and a flush spills across her cheeks dark enough for Chloe to see in the dim light. Then she turns back to the hall without throwing Chloe’s hand off her, and instead seems to drift close once more.

       It seems unbelievable that her suspicions are proving to be true. That she might be right in that Red doesn’t actually seem to dislike physical contact. That she actually might crave it instead, but just doesn’t know how to ask- or doesn’t feel that she can ask.

       Chloe follows after her reluctant friend from shadow to shadow, until they leave the walled protection of the school entirely, and the open space feels more dangerous than a relief, but Red seems to relax as they cross onto the tourney field, and then she’s dropping into the grass.

       She doesn’t release Chloe when she does it, so Chloe is yanked to the ground as well, and she suddenly finds herself staring up at the stars. She turns her head, watching Red’s face relax as she stares upward, arm spread out wide at her side, hand fisted in the grass, and Chloe’s stomach squirms.

       “Wonderland doesn’t have stars,” Red says quietly.

       Chloe turns fully onto her side, observing the other girl, the way her chest rises and falls slowly, the shadows that flicker over her cheeks when she blinks. “What else is different?” Chloe asks.

       “The animals here don’t talk,” Red says to the sky. Her crimson hair falls in a halo of wild waves, carrying the scent of sugar cookies. “Or the trees and flowers. Neither do the doorknobs or tea cups, and logic is.. weird.”

       Chloe feels warm when Red glances sideways at her, brown eyes like a gentle candle light. Even just that brief attention has Chloe’s heart racing, and her stomach drops as she realizes, oh . Oh no. She likes Red. Like, more than just thinking she’s pretty.

       Chloe breaks her gaze, entire face flushing at the realization, but her eyes then catch on their combined hands, Red’s encased in fingerless gloves that press into the creases of Chloe’s palms. She fidgets nervously with the glove, and then loosens the girl’s stranglehold on her hand to tug it off.

       “How’d you get these?” Chloe asks, tracing the pearly white knicks across her palms. Red’s fingers flex under Chloe’s gentle touch.

       “Got mad, broke some stuff. Guards dragged me through the mess on the way to the dungeons.”

       Chloe stills her hands, unpleasant images playing out in her brain. It’s easy to imagine. Red getting mad, throwing things like she had that first day, breaking dishes or a vase. Red getting dragged through the shards as she clawed at the ground despite her fingers getting cut. She must have been desperate to get away. Chloe aches for her. Her heart hammers against her ribcage.

       She looks up again to see Red still looking back at her. She feels all fluttery and sad, and a bit anxious about the realization of her feelings. She doesn’t know if her actions are her or because of her crush. But right then she really needs to hug Red.

       “I’m going to hug you now,” Chloe warns her. It’s the only thing she can do before she pulls herself forward and burrows against her friend.

       Red inhales sharply, hands lifting and hovering just over Chloe’s shoulders. Her frame shakes in a subtle shiver. Then her fingers come down very gently, touching Chloe’s hair the same way she’ll fiddle with Chloe’s things on her desk. Curiously. Absent wonderment.

       The subtle trembling only grows worse in the following moments, until it’s in her entire body and Chloe is concerned that maybe it was too much too soon, and she overstepped. But when she moves to pull back, Red’s hands clutch onto her shoulders tightly, holding her there. “No, wait,” she says breathlessly, chest moving up and down rapidly under Chloe’s cheek.

       Chloe relaxes against the other girl, more than willing to give her the time to adjust. Red is… warm. Solid. Chloe is a very tactile person, and it was killing her to restrain herself around Red’s skittishness for anything considered ‘soft’ or ‘weak.’ It seems Red had been suffering for it too.

       It takes Chloe an embarrassingly long time to notice the ticking in her ears. At first, she thought it was her own heartbeat, palpating too fast, but as she calms down from the panic of cuddling her newly realized crush, she notices the sound is from outside her head, rather than in, and it sounds more like a clock than a heartbeat.

       Chloe blinks, and then lifts her head, and the ticking dissipates. When she lowers her head again, it’s easier to tell the source, even if it is unbelievable. The ticking feels like a flutter under her ear, more cartoonish time bomb than clock, and Chloe turns her face up to look at Red.

       “Are… are you ticking ?”

       “Yes,” Red responds.

       Chloe stares at her. “...Is this a Wonderland thing? Because we don’t tick in Auradon.”

       “I guess it is,” Red replies, fingering one of Chloe’s curls.

       “Oh,” Chloe says, and then lays her head back down on her friend’s chest. Her free arm is wrapped around Red’s waist, slipped inside her jacket to keep the chill away. Now that she’s noticed, she can’t pull her thoughts away from it- the ticking- Red’s heart.

       She closes her eyes, letting the sound wash over her until it is all she hears. Until it eventually slows down to a calming repetitive sound like the seconds on a clock. It takes an unnervingly long time. Chloe drifts in a sea of warmth with gentle hands in her hair.

       “Tell me about Wonderland? You said plants talk?” Chloe requests around sudden grogginess.

       “The trees, and the flowers,” Red confirms softly. “The flowers are actually really snobbish. Don’t like anything different passing through their flowerbeds. The trees whisper more than talk, but not all of them are able. Only the Tulgey trees do, and there is a forest of them surrounding the capital. They-”

       Red’s voice is… different tonight. Unguarded for the first time Chloe has been lucky enough to witness. Relaxed. This… this is Red? Chloe can’t wait to see more of her. The anticipation twists in her chest, leaving her a bit breathless.

Chapter Text

Red stared at her… friend… in disbelief. “Your mom wants me to spend the weekend at your castle?”

       “Yes,” Chloe says, voice painted in amusement. “ You , the big bad Red of Hearts. Please say you’ll come. I’d love to show you around the castle. I can show you all my favorite hiding spots as a kid.”

       Red raises a skeptical eyebrow, trying to ignore the fact that Chloe has flopped down a couple inches away from her leg. It would be very easy to shift forward just a bit so that they are touching. At first it scared her how much she craved the contact. And it’s still unnerving, but she’s accepted that she’s probably broken a long time ago, so she tries not to think about it too terribly as she lets herself flop onto her side and wriggle into Chloe’s space.

       She cares, she cares, she cares, she cares. She knows it’s a mistake she’s made before, but she can’t help it, even knowing the consequences. Even knowing how it will all end.

       Her roommate doesn’t say anything about her clinginess, just wraps an easy arm around her and continues looking at her expectantly for an answer.

       “If you’re trying to convince me, you aren’t doing a very good job,” Red informs her. “You’d be better off avoiding a beating by just not going back at all. No need to experience old nostalgias in maybe pockets of safety.” Though it’s good for Chloe that she found anywhere of a reprieve. Red never managed. Refusing the queen your presence when she demanded it was never an option (though if she was already in a rage, it might be better to wait it out- she’d calm eventually ).

       Chloe’s face drops. “That’s not… I wasn’t beat, Red. No one at that castle hurt me. I just liked finding out of the way spots to read where no one would bother me.”

       “Oh,” Red frowns, recalling that that was something she ran across in research of the Isle. “Right. That’s illegal here.” Chloe’s arms tighten around Red, and she closes her eyes at the fluttering, tingling, relief of contact. It aches how much she craves it. It aches knowing she’ll lose it.

       “So will you come?” Chloe asks.

       Red’s chest ticks faster. “I guess,” Red says reluctantly, trying to remember the details of the woman she briefly interacted with the day of the Welcome Ceremony, but most of that day is hazy at best except her Queen’s words as she gave Red her orders. Those are etched in her brain- in her very veins.

…………………

Red feels out of place, watching the Charmings all greet and hug each other, and she feels deeply uncomfortable about the display. It feels very wrong to her, even though Auradon doesn’t have the same views about such stuff as her mother. Red doesn’t know if she agrees or not. She really likes Chloe’s embraces. She can’t say no to them. She longs for them nearly all the time.

       Maybe it does make her weak.

       When all the hugs are over with, Chloe turns to Red with a smile so wide that Red’s ticking skips a beat.

       “Red, this is my mom, dad, and my brother, Chad.” Chloe’s brother looks nothing like the rest of the family. Blonde hair, blue eyes- Red wonders about that. From what she’s noticed of Auradon, those of familial relation seem to look alike, with similar features and accents and coloring. It’s a bit bizarre to Red that they seem to just be copies of each other.

       So this appearance of an irregularity- a Wonderland trait- is an unexpected comfort.

       Red’s gaze is dragged away from the boy’s weirdly white smile by the queen stepping into Red’s space, and she automatically takes a step back as she sees the arm reaching toward her from the corner of her eye. It just hovers in the air, though, and it takes a moment for her to place the action.

       A handshake.

       “It’s so good to see you again, Red. I’m glad you could make it.” Red stares at the queen, confused that she seems to genuinely mean it. Red was pretty sure she was as mean as possible when they first met. Red considers the extended hand.

       “Don’t-” Chloe starts as Red starts to reach out, a warning in her voice, “-bite her.”

       The queen startles, eyebrows raising, and Red huffs as she very cautiously takes the appendage. She wasn’t going to bite the queen. Red’s hand tingles at the contact, and when the woman releases it, she rubs it harshly down the side of her leg in hopes of rubbing the feeling away.

       “So you’re the newest VK,” the blonde says, bouncing forward in a way Red has seen Chloe move before.

       “That’s what I’ve been told,” Red responds, stiffening as he slings an arm over her shoulders to drag her closer to the group. Red promptly turns her head and sinks her teeth into his arm (she didn’t say anything about biting anyone else). As he yelps, Red ducks away to stand closer to her roommate, feeling increasingly overwhelmed at this entire spectacle. Her teeth ache.

       Chloe’s fingers slide through hers, and it just feels different.

       “Ah, you’re like Carlos,” Chad says, rubbing at the spot she bit him with a grimace. Red doesn’t know what that is supposed to mean, but the queen steps toward her son and touches his arm.

       “Why don’t you and your father go practice your sword work in the garden,” she commands. And there is no question that it is a command.

       The boy sighs. “Yeah, yeah, you want us to leave you to your girl-talk. Dad?”

       Red stares as the King kisses his wife with a laugh. The easy comfort and care is both fascinating and unnerving (the second one just slightly edging out the first). “You girls have fun. It’s good to meet you, Red.”

       “Yeah, um, you too,” Red says awkwardly. It doesn’t last long, because then Chloe is pulling them the rest of the way up the steps and into the castle.

       Red does her best to take everything in- to pay attention to the rooms and the hallways and Chloe’s excited chatter, but her attention keeps drifting back to the queen and her- everything. Her face, her smile, the way she interacts with her daughter. They touch a lot- a lot of hand holding and hair brushing.

       The queen keeps smiling at Red, too, making her feel woefully uncomfortable, though thankfully she doesn’t try touching her like she does her daughter.

       The only thing that somewhat distracts her from her study, is when she starts noticing the cats every now and then, sitting in windowsills, or coming up to wrap around their feet. Red’s eyes catch on a black cat crouched on one of the windowsills, blinking at them with one eye. The other eye is an empty socket, and it has a shredded ear on the same side.

       “Mom made the castle kind of a cat sanctuary for strays, so we have lots that just come and go,” Chloe says, picking up a white spotted one that threads through her ankles. She nods at the one Red is looking at as she scratches her cat on the top of its head. “That’s Rose.”

       Red feels bad for the cat, all scarred up and ugly looking. Yet it looks very comfortable sitting on the sill. Red reaches out a hand, to offer it some scratches as well, when Chloe says, “Oh, I wouldn’t-”

       The thing suddenly lashes out with a paw, claws catching Red’s glove, and it hisses at her, all the hair on its back rising as it arches.

       Red, cradling her hand, instinctively, angrily, hisses back. The cat leaps from the ledge, ears back and growling as it darts down the castle hall. Red glares indignantly after it, before turning her attention back toward her friend.

       Chloe’s face is flushed as she stares at Red, cat in her arms lifted so that the lower part of her face is buried in fur.

       “What,” Red grumbles, noticing the queen hiding a smile behind a hand as well.

       “Nothing,” Chloe says, and then quickly dumps her cat into Red’s arms. “Let’s go.” Red stares wearily down at the feline, and it stares placidly back at her. It blinks at her, so Red blinks back, and then Chloe is tugging her along.

…………………….

“So you just come home and… make cookies together?” Red questions, rolling a ball of dough in her hands, carefully forming it as she was shown. She doesn’t like the feel of it, the stickiness that lingers on her fingers wherever it touches her skin.

       This is what she was tasked with, though, and she’s been given worse jobs. Blood is sticky, too, once it starts to congeal, and she’s been given the unpleasant task of scrubbing it from the cobblestones on more than one occasion when her mother is particularly disappointed in her.

       “I mean, normally I’m in the garden with my dad and brother, but after that, yeah.” Chloe sits on the counter by the stove, twisting about a spatula as she waits for the first batch to come out of the oven. Her task is to transfer the cookies from the pan onto a separate plate.

       Red doesn’t think this whole thing is a three person job, but she suspects it’s something more for the family to have an excuse to just be around each other. She found it odd at first, but the longer she’s been in Chloe and her mother’s presence, the more she’s relaxed as she’s gotten used to the idea.

       The queen isn’t like Chloe too terribly; she’s calmer, and there’s an air about her that seems very secure in her place in the world, but she still reminds Red of her roommate in her attention and consideration for Red.

       Ella opens the oven before the timer, removing the sheet of cookies and replacing it with the one Red just finished arranging with fresh dough.

       Not left with anywhere to put the mountain of remaining dough, Red stands there awkwardly, hands held in front of her, fingers spread to keep from touching anything including each other.

       Chloe happily transfers the cookies onto a plate.

       “It’s a bit of a tradition. A different recipe each time,” Ella says, smiling kindly at Red. Red feels that she should be paying a little more attention to her daughter, since it’s been a while since the woman has seen her, but it’s not like she has been giving her any less attention than Red. Red just feels awkward getting as much of it as she has been. With nearly the same, kind enthusiasm, too. It’s weird.

       “Do you have any traditions back home, Red?” Chloe asks.

       Red considers it. “There’s the annual Tea Ceremony celebrating the end of the War of Roses. A new law is always announced that sets the tone for the rest of the year.”

       “What if there isn’t any law that needs to be passed? Or something comes up before the Tea Ceremony that needs immediate addressing?”

       Red shrugs. “Then she makes a new law right then. My mother doesn’t ever really run out of things to be upset over. Sometimes she’ll make a law as outlandish as possible just to see everyone scramble. Most of the time they are small things, like the color pink being outlawed, or no smiling before noon, or you can only walk on the right side of the street on Tuesdays and Thursdays, but on Fridays you can only walk around backward.”

       “You aren’t allowed to smile before noon?” Chloe asks incredulously.

       Ella takes the now empty sheet and places it back on the counter in front of Red. Dutifully, she grimaces and scoops out some more dough to roll in her palm. “Nope.”

       “But that’s insane!” Chloe says. “How can you stop someone from smiling ?”

       “By being my mom,” Red says, wondering why the girl finds this so shocking when everyone, including those who have never met the woman, are terrified of her. Even at Auradon Prep, as soon as anyone’s eyes (except Chloe’s) land on Red , they lose their smile.

       Ella grabs the full plate from Chloe and presses a kiss to her forehead. It seems to soothe the blue haired princess, because she relaxes some and offers her a small smile back. “I’m going to take these out to the boys while they’re still hot. Watch the oven, please.”

       “Of course,” she hums.

       Red places the last dough ball exactly two inches from the edge of the pan and any other dough, just as she was instructed, then glares down at the residue sticking to her skin. She moves to the sink to wash it off, even if they will only stay clean a few minutes until the next sheet is cleared and ready for more uncooked dough.

       “Is that why you don’t smile?” Chloe asks as Red struggles to use the back of her hand to turn on the faucet. Her roommate slides down from the counter and turns it on for her. “Because it was illegal in Wonderland?”

       Red sticks her hands under the spray, letting the water run over them for a moment before scrubbing furiously. “I guess.” It’s been years since she’s even felt the urge to smile (and even then, it only lasted for a few short weeks).

       The smell of baking cookies is strong, permeating every corner in the kitchen, and making Red’s stomach turn over in hunger.

       Red glances behind her, watching Chloe crouched in front of the oven, peeking through the window. “I think they’re done,” she says, pulling on an oven mit. “Can you grab another plate for me?” she asks.

       Red turns off the water. “Where?”

       “Top shelf.” The blue princess indicates to the cabinet next to the stove as she sets the pan on the edge of the stovetop and turns to retrieve the next cookie sheet Red had just finished preparing. Red shakes the water from her hands as she opens the cabinet.

       The oval cookie plate is higher than Red can reach, and she huffs as she braces one hand on the counter to help boost herself up enough that she can touch it with her fingertip and slowly inch it out enough to grab. She almost has it when the timer officially goes off, screeching suddenly and loudly right next to Red.

       It makes Red jolt violently, and then the next few moments are a blur of panic as glass shatters and cookies go spilling as everything goes crashing to the ground.

       “Crap,” Chloe says, jumping away from the mess. “I’ll grab a broom.”

       But there are no thoughts in Red’s head- her brain has gone static- and she reacts on instinct, knowing she has to fix it now , she has to hide it (mistakes aren’t allowed). Red lunges for the mess, scooping cookies, glass, anything she can reach, frantically into her pockets before she can get caught. Before Chloe’s mother gets back.

       “Red, what are you doing?!” Chloe yelps. “Stop it! Mom !”

       Red freezes as the sense of betrayal washes over her in a staggering wave. It’s like a flood of heat that overtakes her face and body, and there is a dropping sensation. She hadn’t expected it- the treachery. Her mother always warned, but… She truly hadn’t expected it.

       “What’s going on?” a smooth voice cuts through Chloe’s panic and Red’s overwhelming despair. There is glue in Red’s mouth as the queen sweeps in, takes one look at Red kneeled incriminatingly on the ground, and grabs a trashcan out from under the sink on her way to Red. She holds it under her clenched hands. “Let it go,” she says quietly, calmly. The calm makes a shudder of dread drag down her spine.

       Red obediently opens her hands, letting the glass and burning cookies fall.

       Ella sets the bin upright and straightens. “Honey, can you please clean this up while I take care of Red?”

       “I got it,” Chloe confirms. Red flinches.

       The queen’s attention is then turned on her. “Come here, Red.” Red jolts stiffly to her feet, staggering a step forward. Ella smiles at her threateningly. “Hands, please.”

       Red wordlessly and obediently thrusts her hands out in front of her. The queen gently turns one over, making Red suddenly aware that they are bleeding. They both are- cut open and embedded with glass. It’s a familiar sight. They are also shaking horribly, as she suddenly becomes aware of the pain in them.

       The queen hums, still showing no outward sign of anger. And then she starts pulling the fragments out of Red’s skin. Red watches her roommate’s mom- the furrow of concentration in her brow, the blue braid that drapes neatly over her shoulder. The very gentle way she holds Red’s hand steady, as if she’s trying very hard not to hurt her further.

       And Red abruptly remembers that things are different in Auradon.

       Ella turns on the sink water, and reaches under it again to pull out a white case with a red printed cross on the front. “Hold them under for a minute,” she commands, reaching for a roll of paper towels. Red, again, silently obeys, turning her eyes to watch the blood run pink and then mostly clear under the spray. “Why did you think that was a good idea?”

       Red’s voice still feels done and gone, so she just presses her lips together, jaw clenching. The queen waits a moment until it’s clear that she isn’t going to answer. Then she asks, “Did you think I was going to punish you for breaking the plate?”

       Red dips her chin toward her chest in a stiff nod.

       The queen reaches across to turn off the water, then gently pulls Red’s hands back toward her, firmly pressing against the cuts with the paper towel. Red stares at the contact. Stares at the darker hands that spread ointment and then cover them one by one with bandaids.

       After the (honestly superficial) wounds are concealed, Ella doesn’t immediately release her. She examines the scars already on Red’s palms.

       “Your mother punishes you, doesn’t she,” she asks, pulling Red’s hands toward her chest. Red doesn’t know why she doesn’t let go. She’s been patched up. Maddox always stopped touching her when she was all patched up. But Red can’t bring herself to pull away, either. She likes the contact, nearly as much as when her daughter offers it, and she doesn’t know what that says about her- that she enjoys this woman she’s just met grabbing all over her. How pathetically weak is she?

       Red jerks her head in another nod, and then her eyes widen as her friend’s mother says, “Oh, baby, ” and the queen reaches out to push Red’s hair behind her ear, cradling the cheek she had brushed it from. Her breath catches as the woman leans forward and presses a kiss to Red’s forehead, just as Red had watched her do for her daughter.

       Red trembles as the queen’s other hand comes up to the other side of her face, and she looks down at Red. “You are safe here, okay?” she says gently. “No one in this household will hurt you.”

       Red tries to answer- she wants to- but only a strangled sound comes out. The queen’s arms instantly wrap around her, and Red can’t help melting into it, burrowing her hot face into the front of her dress as she’s engulfed in warmth and comfort. It’s an addicting feeling, and Red is worried she won’t be able to pull away. (She is worried she will have to live without it eventually.)

………………

Chloe can’t take her eyes off Red as she looks around Chloe’s room, for once not picking everything up. Red’s face is flushed and blotchy, like she had been crying, even though Chloe knows she hadn’t.

       Red has been eerily quiet since the plate broke. Since Chloe’s mother had kissed her on the head and she’d made that strangled, mournful sound that cut straight to Chloe’s heart.

       “If you feel uncomfortable sharing a bed, you can have a guest room,” Chloe says.

       Red kicks off her shoes and wordlessly crawls into Chloe’s bed without changing. Chloe sighs and moves to her bag to grab a pair of pajamas. She slides them on, watching Red’s back under the blankets, unmoving until Chloe crawls in behind her.

       Then she turns over, and they are sharing air. Chloe’s heart beats quickly under her friend’s inscrutable examination.

       “You okay?” Chloe can’t help asking, reaching out to brush Red’s hair over her shoulder. Her eyes close at the contact, and then she is wiggling forward and pressing her nose into Chloe’s throat like cuddling in this way is entirely normal for friends. But, well, Red wasn’t allowed friends, was she. How would she know? (Should Chloe tell her?)

       She doesn’t respond to Chloe’s question, but Chloe is beginning to suspect that it’s not that Red decides she doesn’t want to answer in these instances, but more of that she can’t. She sighs, breath gusting against Chloe’s collarbone. She instinctively burrows her face in return, tucking her nose into vivid red waves.

       Her pulse is all over the place, her emotions bubbling up in the way they normally do just before she spills her guts, but she doesn’t think she should do that. She can’t just blurt out her feelings to Red ; she doesn’t want to scare the girl.

       But then it occurs to Chloe… maybe she should. Tell her. Red has so few people who care about her, maybe Chloe shouldn’t try to downplay how much she does mean to Chloe. And as Chloe thinks about Red’s blind panic from earlier, not caring as her skin tore as she tried to hide the glass away, saying what she feels is less scary and more urgent.

       So she just says it, murmured into her roommate’s hair. “I love you, Red.”

       Red’s breath catches audibly, and then she is pulling back with wide eyes. She visibly struggles for a few moments, jaw clenching and opening, and then hissing in frustration when no words form. Not for the first time, Chloe wonders what kind of neurodivergent her roommate is. It’s hard to tell what is trauma and what is organically her.

       She reaches out to catch her face, soothing the frustration lines with her fingers. “It’s okay. We can talk later, if you want to. I just wanted you to know. I wanted you to hear it and not have to wonder.”

       Red turns her head, gently nipping at Chloe’s fingers, and it’s a bit weird, but she thinks it’s a good thing, because Red collapses against Chloe again like it had been an effort to hold herself away. Chloe hugs her tightly in response, stroking one hand through her hair and the other up and down her back.

       It feels… good being honest. She’s never been great at withholding her affection, and she’s really glad her friend is more open to receiving it now. At least from her.

       To Chloe’s surprise, Red very slowly relaxes completely against her, and it takes her several minutes to realize that she’s drifted off to sleep. It’s a surprise, because she’s only seen Red actually fall asleep a handful of times, and it’s never so peaceful.

       Chloe slowly lifts up onto an elbow to better view the other girl, lax and strangely restful. She’s gorgeous, of course- red pouty lips and dark lashes that throw long shadows over her cheeks. She looks very vulnerable when she’s not sporting a scowl. She looks… delicate. Like a flower with its thorns trimmed.

       Chloe feels her chest going all mushy and affectionate again, and she again brushes Red’s hair over her shoulder so she can touch her face. She traces the curve of her cheek, the shell of her ear, the edge of her jaw that disappears into her neck, until Chloe is stopped at Red’s choker.

       Chloe plays with the band, marveling at the contentment on her sleeping face.

       And then Chloe’s fingers trace over a flaw, and all of her attention zeros in on that choker. On what felt like was under the choker. Chloe nudges the band down, revealing a thick rope of dark scarring. Scarring like… like someone had removed her head and put it back on.

       But that’s impossible. Red couldn’t have had her head chopped off, because you can’t just sew someone’s head back on. It doesn’t work like that. But it definitely looks like someone had tried, or some other equivalent that can cause scarring all the way around the neck. And there is someone connected to Red who is very famous for beheading people.

       Chloe has to pull her hands away because they are shaking so bad. Because there are suddenly too many thoughts in her head and emotions warring through her chest. Because this is sick . Red’s own mother- her mother - and yes she kind of got that before, with all the other scars, but now it’s hitting so much harder. It’s hitting so much worse, now that she’s presented with it again, the knowledge renewed with a whole new look on things. With Chloe loving Red, now.

       Chloe suddenly feels the need to move. She needs to calm down. She can’t wake Red, because she doesn’t know when the next time she’ll sleep will be. So she very carefully crawls out of bed, substituting her body for a pillow that Red initially frowns at before clinging to like a lifeline.

       She tries to pace the room for only a moment before she nearly trips on the bags on the floor, so she leaves the room entirely, breathing deeply and carefully. She starts on her way to the kitchen. Some milk and cookies have always been able to calm her down.

       And then she sees something even more effective leaning against the counter with her own glass and plate.

       “Couldn’t sleep?” Her mother asks, unquestioningly wrapping her up in her arms as Chloe goes to her. Chloe lets out a shaky breath. Her mother has always been able to soothe her with a hug. They are the most comforting thing Chloe can think of, paired with the humming her mother starts up as she rocks them like Chloe is three.

       “How bad is it?” her mother asks after a couple minutes, stroking fingers through Chloe’s hair.

       “Bad,” Chloe replies, chin wobbling. “She can’t go back, mom. We can’t let her go back to Wonderland.”

       Her mother sighs. It sounds like a mournful sigh. Chloe pulls away, frowning at the sympathy in her mother’s eyes.

       “Unfortunately, that might not be something we can control, honey.”

       Chloe takes a step back. “No, of course it is. She’s being hurt there- there are laws that were specifically made so that-“

       “That was for the Isle, baby. Auradon citizens. Red is Princess of Wonderland, which doesn’t answer to the leadership of Auradon like the rest of its kingdoms do. Red is here as a guest. If the Queen of Hearts wished to take her back to Wonderland, we have no authority to stop her.”

       “That shouldn’t matter!” Chloe exclaims, heart racing. Her mother should be helping her. Should be making it all better. Her mother is the kindest person Chloe knows- why is she saying this? “We-we can hide her away. Or- or close up the rabbit hole again.”

       The compassion on her mother’s face is painful. “Honey, we can’t kidnap a princess from a foreign nation without expecting to go to war.”

       “Then we should go to war!” Chloe bursts, so angry suddenly. There is heat in her veins and in her cheeks- it’s a foreign fury that she’s never felt before. She wants to reach for her sword. She wants to slash with it, and hurt anyone who put their hands on Red.

       Her mother’s face collapses in sad understanding. “Oh, baby... You fell for her, didn’t you?”

       The tears Chloe had felt teetering in her eyes spill hotly down her cheeks. “When you told me to give her a chance, did you expect me not to?” Chloe’s voice breaks.

       “No, I hadn’t expected this,” her mom sighs, pulling Chloe against her again. “I’m sorry, baby girl.”

       “She can’t go back,” Chloe coughs out, choking on her tears as her hands come up to grip her mother’s back, and for the first time in years, Chloe finds herself unable to catch her breath properly.

       Her mother squeezes her. “She needs to ask for help. She needs to ask for asylum.”

       “She won’t do that,” Chloe shakes her head that is safely tucked against her mom’s chest. She gulps more air, feeling like she’s going to shake apart- like the world is shaking apart. “She still thinks crying is weak and will make people target you. She still runs away when she feels overwhelmed. She won’t even ask for a hug when she needs one.”

       Her mother starts rocking her, swaying her side to side and running her nails up and down Chloe’s arm to help ground her. She does it automatically, without thought or upset- and Chloe can’t imagine not having this growing up- someone like her mother to offer this automatic, unconditional comfort. And Red never had that. She had to do it all on her own.

       “Then you just have to keep being there, baby. Just being there helps more than you know.” Chloe suspects she might be beginning to understand.

Chapter Text

Red grits her teeth against the frustration as she twists and turns the combination into the locker, and resists shouting at the thing to just ‘open up!’ Doorknobs and lockers and anything else not distinctly humanoid do not talk in Auradon, though.

       Red’s struggles are entirely her own, which is why she ordinarily doesn’t even use a locker. Despite Chloe showing her several times how to operate one, it’s too much of a pain, and Red has too little patience.

       She debates just walking away. She doesn’t need in. Just… she wants to see Chloe smile again. Ever since they got back from visiting her home, she’s been quieter. More distant. And despite Chloe telling her that she loves her, Red worries that she’s already ruined things. It feels like a precarious thing- love- and something all too easy to lose. It would be so easy to ruin, when she doesn’t know what she did to gain it in the first place.

       The locker finally, finally , springs open, and Red almost grins in victory. It’s startling how much she’s had to smother the urge since she’s accepted that there is nothing she could do to keep Blue from trying to be her friend.

       She’s forgotten what it feels like to care . About someone. About what they think of her.

       Red gently picks up the rose she had set at her feet. The smell makes her stomach turn at the reminder of home, but Chloe likes roses. She liked the other flowers Red had collected for her just fine, but she got all… soft and squeaky-excited when she watched someone get handed roses, once.

       Besides, this rose is white. Her mother despised white roses, and even went so far as to declare that all white roses must be painted red.

       Red is careful to place the flower in her friend’s locker, vigilantly arranging it so that none of the petals could be damaged. The urge to make it perfect is automatic.

       “What are you doing?”

       Red startles at the voice, turning, face warm at being caught. She ruthlessly smothers her embarrassment, pulling a scowl onto her face.

       “Mind your own business,” Red huffs.

       “That’s Chloe’s locker,” Amerie says, staring at her.

       “No shit,” Red responds, making sure the flower is still perfectly placed before stepping back to close it.

       The door is caught before she can, and Red’s eyes widen as she is slightly shouldered out of the way. “Why are you breaking into her-” she cuts herself off as she peeks inside, “Oh.” Chloe’s friend suddenly snorts, and then laughs. “Oh that’s hilarious. You’ve got it bad -”

       The flush turns painful as Red’s stomach twists violently, and she reaches out to yank the flower from the locker’s depths. Her ticking is loud in her ears from the stupidity of the idea. Chloe’s other friends don’t have to give her things to make her smile. To make her keep loving them. They just exist and she fucking smiles. Red just exists and she wipes it from her face.

       Amerie’s humor instantly slips as Red crushes the flower in her grip, gloves protecting most of her hands, but some thorns catch on the bandaids encasing her fingertips and rip through the scabs. “Wait, Red, I’m sorry- I didn’t mean it like that.”

       “Forget it,” Red spits, tossing the crumpled rose aside. The smell of new blood mingles with the floral scent, reminding her unerringly of home. Her blood had caught on some of the petals, staining it.

       “Seriously,” she says, trying to catch Red’s arm as she turns away, “It’s sweet, really. She’ll love it.”

       “I don’t care,” Red snaps, storming away. She does care. It’s really unfortunate.

…………..

Red’s mother has shown her over and over that caring about things- anything- is not something she should do. Any time Red found something that she enjoyed, her mother destroyed it to further prove her point.

       For example, Red used to like making clothes. She’d spend hours on it- this one thing that made the days trapped in her room- the castle- somewhat less dull and miserable. She was twelve when her mother threw her sewing machine into the moat and outlawed anyone other than the castle seamstresses from sewing.

       She didn’t quite get it- didn’t quite have it sink in- the first time. It hurt, sure, but it mostly just made her angry . She thought it was just her mother being a miserable person and wanting her to be just as miserable.

       Obsession is an interesting thing. Red tends to fall into it when there is a modicum of anything that catches her interest. She was just so bored, that if there was anything at all that brought her out of it, she’d latch on. It was kind of just as miserable as the boredom, honestly.

       All day, every day, her head would just be filled with all the ways she could make her mother as inconvenienced as possible when she’d sneak out that next night. And then she had her first attempt at friendship that mashed with her attempts at rebellion and formed a whole new obsession. With the addition of the Tea Ceremony she was to present her first law- more things happening at once than she’s ever had to juggle- everything amassed into a complicated mess of a disaster.

       And then she learned. Her mother ensured she learned.

       Caring leads to obsession- things getting stuck in her head in circling agonizing loops. It’s not pleasant. The things that get stuck in her head… She tries not to think about those- about her role- her future.

       It’s gotten easier to just exist without thought. To let time, and the world, just wash over her and pass by. Once she was able to accept that there’s nothing she could do, nothing she could change, it was so much easier to just turn off her brain and whatever inconvenient, miserable emotions she might have about things.

       When her roommate becomes one of those things that get stuck in her head, it comes rushing back. Obsession . It hurts- it prickles. It’s not pleasant that every thought spirals back to the blue haired girl. It’s not just her brain, either. It’s her skin. She’s never experienced the sensation of it physically embedding itself alongside her every nerve ending. Her skin wants to be near, too.

       Red stares unabashedly at her friend as she absently shuffles her deck of cards. Skin prickling. The girl is on the other side of the room, eyes closed and sword up, moving slowly through foot work while her headphones rest securely over her ears, blocking out the world. Blocking out Red.

       Red feels like a child begging for her mother’s attention. Desperately inadequate. Not enough. Red has never been good enough in anything she’s ever done.

       She gets so lost in her thoughts that it takes her a moment to realize that Chloe has paused in her practice and is staring right back at Red, meeting her eyes. Red’s finger slips, and a few cards go shooting out of her hand, off to the side.

       Chloe pushes one headphone off of her ear. “What music do you like?” she asks.

       “Anything that’s not an anthem to my mother,” Red says. Even though just a moment ago she was contemplating how to get her roommate’s attention, she’s suddenly embarrassed now that she has it. She ducks her head as she shifts and reaches for her errant cards. “How do you get music out here, anyway. Is it hard?” Anything deemed fun was outlawed in Wonderland ages ago, including music, but she managed to listen to some, once.

       Since coming to Auradon, sometimes she can hear it playing faintly through the doors as she walks the dorm hallways, and she’ll freeze in place to listen. Until someone else comes down the hallway and shoots her odd looks for standing paralyzed in the middle of it.

       “Not at all,” Chloe says, setting her sword aside and striding forward. Red startles back into a seated position as Chloe climbs onto the bed, shuffling forward on her knees until she’s just an inch away. She pulls the headphones fully off her head and slides them over Red’s ears as their gazes lock.

       Red’s eyes widen at the sound coming out of them. At the music streaming right into her ears and surrounding her as if it's wrapping around inside her brain. All her other thoughts and worries fall away, like they had the first time she’d heard real music, ownerless and free, echoing off the rafters of a café in the only place in Wonderland out of the purview of the Queen.

       Her eyes close as she feels herself going boneless.

       When the song ends, another immediately starts up. Then another. And another. And another. As the voices sing of love and loss, speaking so boldly of their vulnerabilities, Red’s head is truly empty for the first time… ever.

       She doesn’t know what has her blinking her eyes open again, but it’s to see Chloe still in the same spot in front of her, sunk back on her heels, just watching Red. There is the strangest expression on her face as their eyes meet, and it instantly makes heat flood her cheeks. No one has ever looked at her like that before.

       Is this love?

       Chloe had said that she loved her. Is this what it looks like? Soft? Is this what it feels like? Warm? Her mother has always told her that it would get her hurt- get her killed. Love is a fantasy that doesn’t really exist. Some days, Red can’t help believing it. Other days, she aches for it anyway. The concept of anyone caring for her in such a way. Aches for the few weeks that were the happiest of her life before everything went wrong and her mother proved just how dangerous caring was. How painful .

       Yet here she is again, unable to stop herself from making the same mistake. Unable to stop herself from caring .

       Chloe reaches up and taps one of her ears, and Red compliantly pushes one of the cups off, opening her hearing up to the world while music still streams into her other ear. Chloe gently takes one of Red’s hands, tugging as she lifts up and shuffles backward off the bed.

       “Dance with me?”

       Red slowly unfolds her legs, sliding from the mattress. She tugs the other earpiece down, letting the headphones rest around her shoulders, and the music plays faintly from them, still audible to the room.

       “I’m not very good at dancing,” Red says as her other hand is caught in Chloe’s.

       “That’s okay. It’s okay to just be silly sometimes. Besides, it’s just us.” Chloe tugs her into a circle, gently pulling and pushing Red around the middle of the room with flushed cheeks and a small, shy smile.

       Red feels struck as she remembers the one and only other time she’s danced, being goofy and wild and feeling entirely out of her element but trying to change things. And the boy across from her, with curly hair and soft eyes and looking at Red like he really saw her. He had trusted her, when neither of them really knew what they were doing (with each other, with dancing, with their little rebellion against the Queen of Hearts).

       It’s different, now, than when she was fourteen and oblivious to the chaos that would break out soon after, stupidly hopeful for the first time in her life. And it’s so very similar at the same time. Instead of old tapes blasting from a boombox, music plays faintly from the headphones resting against her collar bone. Instead of all the Wonderland High population standing uncertainly and watching her fumble through dancing for the first time as bright laser lights flash through the dark, it’s only them, spinning around the comfort of their room in the light of day, no witnesses.

       Instead of Ace grinning madly at her as her heart beat fast in her chest, present and whole- it’s Chloe, and Red’s heart is far away but still too present and loud.

       Red tenses, pain coursing through her chest and making her want to cry in anticipation of what happens next. This is the part where the door bursts open and everything falls apart. This is the part where it’s all taken away from her.

       But they aren’t in Wonderland, and her mother doesn’t appear. Instead, Chloe pulls her around and around and around, and the world spins, but it remains whole, and they keep dancing.

………………

Red laughs jubilantly, breathless as she crashes against his chest, and he holds her up. The others laugh and music plays and everyone looks ridiculous in their movements, but it’s perfect because of the messy flaws in it. It’s all of their first tastes of freedom. First time they’ve ever been allowed to be imperfect.

       She feels Ace start to pull back, and her heart leaps. “Wait-” she says, trying to catch the hands slipping out of hers.

       “Time is almost up,” Chloe says, grinning apologetically at her.

       “Don’t go,” Red begs. She has the strangest feeling that something terrible is going to happen if she leaves.

       “I have to,” Chloe says, tugging Red along by the hand. “We both do. It’s time for class.”

       “Oh,” Red says, allowing herself to be pulled along through the crowd, and she obediently takes her seat next to Chester, watching intently as Maddox stands at the board, enthusiasm pouring off him as he points at an X inside a cube inside a cube.

       “It’s time . Now that you’ve learned how to dance, you must now learn to travel through the fourth dimension. Go ahead, give it a whirl, Miss Red.”

       “But… I don’t know how,” she says, blinking at her teacher.

       “Sure you do,” Chester whispers, nudging her with a bony elbow. “Now you can fix it.”

       “ How? ” she insists.

       “Can… Can I go with you?” Red turns and watches her roommate bite her lip uncertainly from her bed. Her face flushes as she looks at her, and Red feels a thrill go through her. Warmth.

       “Yeah,” she says, tilting her head as she stands from her stool and leads the way through the door, and then almost immediately trips over a root.

       Cold fear grips her as she reaches back to pull Chloe after her. “Hurry, hurry,” Red urges, looking back. The castle rises up, dark and ominous, behind them. Quiet, for now, though she can still hear her mother’s screams echoing in her ears. Her soldiers will be hunting them soon, once her mother realizes they swam through the moat instead of trying to escape through the maze.

       Suddenly, the ground falls out from under her feet and Chloe’s hand slips out of hers as she goes tumbling down the bluff.

       Red huffs quick breaths in panic as she rolls to a stop and glares up at her mother, hot tears streaming down her face as the soldiers surround them. She feels itchy and gross, coated in blood and grime and sand, but that hardly matters with the spear pointed at her throat and being all that stands between her friends and the entirety of her mother’s army. Her first friends. Chester and Ace- the first people to ever see her and not the Queen of Hearts’ daughter.

       “You act like you can hide it… but you’re weak,” her mother utters, her disappointment echoing through the cold of the dungeon. “You came back for them. For your so-called friends . And where did it get you?”

       “Please. Mom, please- please don’t do this.” The soldier cards rush forward, seizing her by her arms and flooding around her to grab her friends, too, who cry out in fear and pain, and she can’t do anything- she can’t do anything! “Please!” she screams.

       “Do you think we’ll die?” Chloe asks quietly, hugging herself. Her blue curls look pale and limp in the dark of the dungeons.

       “I won’t let that happen,” Red swears. As if she has any power at all.

       Arms suddenly appear out of the shadows, closing around her roommate’s mouth and around her waist, heaving her up.

       Red gives a startled shout, lunging forward, but more arms appear, gripping her with bruising strength.

       “Please, please,” Red begs her mother in front of all of Wonderland. “Please don’t take her, too. Please please please please-“

       For a moment, her mother almost looks like she’s about to cry. “How could you,” she asks as if Red had betrayed her.

       A familiar, uproarious, laugh echoes around the gardens as if it’s merely the sound of the breeze rustling the leaves on a tree.

       “Red!” Chloe calls after managing to tug the gloved hand away from her mouth, “You can fix it- you have to fix it.”

       “How? Just tell me how,” she begs.

       Red stares at the impassive soldier card restraining the Princess, silver helmet obscuring his face. There is a scarlet A on the badge on his chest, resting over a big, terrible, heart.

       He lifts his gauntlet, pointing at Red, and she looks down at her hand- at the pocket watch sitting there, perfect and gleaming and waiting to be used. “It takes you to the moment in time that can give you what your heart wants most,” Chester giggles, smile floating in the air over her mother’s shoulder and turning upside down. It’s not a frown- it’s a smile that is upside down. And then it’s taken away on the wind. “Remember?” he whispers in her ear, rustling the hair on her neck.

       Red desperately clicks the button on the watch, but nothing happens. Nothing changes. Chloe remains in danger with the rest of Wonderland apathetically looking on. Complicit in their acceptance.

       “Hm,” Jada hums from the queen’s seat at the table as she sips on her tea. “I guess this is what you want most to happen. I told her you didn’t give a shit.”

       “Hm,” the Queen agrees.

       “I’m sorry,” Red sobs. “Please, I’m sorry. Don’t hurt her. Please don’t take her away.”

       The beating of her heart is outside her body, echoing all around her, an unrelenting drum.

       “Don’t worry, darling,” the Queen of Hearts coos, “heartbreak is always hard. That’s why you have to guard against it. I finally realize that I expected too much from you.” She lifts a small red stained wooden box, inlaid with golden hearts. “So until you can learn to guard your own heart, I’ll do it for you.”

       The beating drum grows louder until it's filling the entire courtyard, drowning out everything, and Red abruptly realizes that it’s coming from inside the box. Her hand comes up to touch her chest, and there is blood and bone and pain like fire licking at her ribcage. She is achingly hollow.

       “Now,” the queen turns away, as if she’s thoroughly done with the entire affair as she waves a dismissive hand. “Get rid of the distraction.”

       “NO!” Red lunges forward, and she’s tackled to the ground in a pile of soldier cards. She thrashes as her limbs catch on armor and cloth, and her face is forced into the pillows of her bed. She strains, reaching for the princess and sobbing. “Please, please! Blue! Chloe! Don’t go. Please don’t go. I don’t want this- I promise I didn’t want this!”

       “ Red ,” Chloe sobs back, catching her hands. “I’m right here. Calm down. Please calm down. It’s okay.”

       “No, no, no, please don’t go. Please, I’m sorry ,” Red hiccups, clawing at the arms, trying her best to hold onto smoke.

       Her roommate winces, climbing farther onto the bed while pulling Red closer. “I’m not going anywhere. You were dreaming, Red. It was just a dream. I’m right here.”

       Red’s brain is a scrambled egg of images and laughter, and she can’t breathe. Her throat is squeezed shut.

       “You were dreaming,” Chloe repeats, gripping Red’s face and pressing their foreheads together.

       That’s not right, though. That can’t be right. The card soldiers are crushing her lungs and Chloe will be dragged away at any moment.

       “I’m right here,” Chloe says, and nothing stops Red from clinging onto her with a sob. A hand passes down her back, absently and effortlessly brushing off the brutal hands gripping her. “It’s okay. You’re okay. It was just a dream.”

       Red wheezes as the world violently reasserts itself and things become solid. She’s not standing on the balcony, again, overlooking the gardens as her mother gives her sentence. That’s not how it happened.

       But it also wasn’t just a dream. Red clutches desperately to the other girl, ticking filling the room like her heart had filled the disjointed garden in her dream. It’s a reminder. A reminder that this- Auradon, Chloe- was always temporary. She was always going to lose it. Not only lose it- be the reason for its destruction.

Chapter Text

“How long are we going to be doing this?”

       Principal Uma doesn’t glance up from her lazy inspection of her nails, crossed feet leaving mud on the teacher’s desk. “Until I can find a therapist who you won’t bite the head off of. And who is willing to take on the Queen of Hearts’ daughter.”

       “The fuck is a therapist?” Red asks.

       The pirate barks out a sharp, amused, laugh, and Red feels oddly pleased at the sound after she pushes away the initial discomfort.

       “A head doctor. Someone who is supposed to help you work through your issues. Can’t say I was a huge fan, but I’d be lying if I tried to say it didn’t help put some things into perspective.”

       Red doesn’t really like the answer, but she appreciates her principal’s straightforward honesty. She doesn’t question the necessity of Red’s questions, or act like Red’s lack of Auradon knowledge means a lack of intelligence.

       Uma glances up from her nails. “You ready for Parent’s Day?”

       Red clenches her hand tighter around her pen, scratching a heart four pages deep into her notebook. “You should send me back to Wonderland.”

       “You haven’t done anything yet.”

       “You know I’m going to.”

       “I know you might . There’s a difference. I’m not going to punish you for something you might do.”

       Red growls in frustration, ripping angrily at the pages she messed up. Uma continues looking at her in that calm dryness that sometimes frustrates Red, but sometimes she appreciates. Most of the time, it’s a mix so aggravating that she doesn’t know what she’d prefer.

       “Look, Princess-”

       “Don’t call me Princess,” Red snaps, every hair across her body rising in revulsion.

       “ Kid ,” she corrects, “I’m not going to banish you and make your choice for you. You either trust us enough to ask for help, or you go home and nothing changes. It’s hard, I get it, but that’s how it is. The decision is yours.”

       “No, it’s not,” Red spits, anger building until her hands tremble with it. “She has my heart- she has my heart , there is no choice- you can’t do anything to change that.”

       “Yeah, yeah, you love your mom- we all want to make mommy proud-” Red’s control abruptly snaps, and she lashes out at her desk with her foot, sending it toppling to the ground. Red twists, grabbing her chair, and she chucks it across the room, watching it bounce across other desks and knock the room askew. She wants to keep lashing, to tear the whole room apart, but her heaving anger has made the world start swaying and she just wants to leave.

       She hates this feeling. It makes her feel like her mother, always lashing out, not caring what she wrecks or who she hurts. Or kills.

       “You done?” Uma asks. She hadn’t flinched. Red doesn’t respond. She doesn’t know if she can, and she doesn’t want to embarrass herself if she starts stuttering. Uma sighs. “Well, detention is about over anyway. This seems as good a time to call it as any.”

       Red snatches up her backpack and spilled notebook and storms to the door. Her chest feels stuffy and miserable, and she doesn’t know how she could ever get this feeling to go away. But when she pushes into her room and sees her friend doing homework, sprawled on the bed and hair damp from her after practice shower, it dissipates the slightest bit, even if there is another insistent tug that takes its place.

       It forces Red forward and onto the occupied bed and into the princess’ arms. She startles, but she doesn’t turn Red away. She pulls Red closer, abandoning her homework to do so. And Red feels entirely better and entirely worse in new, horrible, ways. But Red can’t bring herself to do anything other than burrow deeper against her only friend, the only person who’s ever told Red they love her, and listen to the strange thud of the heart in the other girl’s chest.

……………..

Red is… she wouldn’t say panicked, but stressed is a good word. On edge. About to attempt clawing off her own skin.

       Interacting with her mother has never been a pleasant idea, even when a small part of her used to crave any acknowledgment at all, but after nearly two months away from her, Red feels like she’s not prepared for it. There is a feeling inside of her telling her this is going to end very very badly. It’s a familiar warning. It’s nearly always right.

       Unfortunately, that feeling also makes Red a bit… like her mother in her temper. Hence the uptick in Red’s detentions and having to see the pirate captain nearly every day in the week leading up to Parent’s Day. Red is miserable and can’t help making everyone around her miserable, too. She might feel bad if they weren’t all going to die anyway, probably.

       By the time the morning-of rolls around, Red has made herself so nervous she’s thrown up twice already by the time Chloe finds her hunched over the toilet.

       “Are you sick?” she asks worriedly, bending down to touch Red’s forehead. Red starts to lean into it before she remembers she shouldn’t and twists herself away.

       “I’m fine,” Red says, pulling herself to her feet and reaching for the tap to wash out her mouth. Her hands visibly shake as she sticks them under the water, and she grimaces. She’s going to have to get over that before she sees her mother. She needs to get control over herself. Why is she suddenly struggling with this?

       Care less- ness. That’s what puts the power back in your hands.

       “It’s okay if you aren’t,” Chloe presses, stepping closer and touching Red’s shoulder. It’s not helping Red’s control at all. “You’ve been off all week, and if this is about your mom-”

       “I said I’m fine!” Red snaps, jerking away. She can feel her roommate’s eyes following her as she shoves out of the bathroom. She’s already warred with herself on what she’s going to wear, but now she needs to just not continue going back and forth on if she wants to placate her mother or stick to who she is.

       She has to not give in, though. Not on this. Not until she’s forced. Her clothes are almost the only thing she has to express herself. So she makes herself move onto the next issue. What she’s going to tell her mother about Auradon. Her orders wriggle uncomfortably under her skin, vague but insistent.

       Chloe follows her out of the bathroom, standing off to the side of Red’s pacing path. “If it will make you feel better, my mom and I will be hanging around. We can even play interference if-”

       “No!” Red snarls, panicked, whipping around to face her friend. “Stay away from me, and stay away from my mom. In fact, don’t come anywhere near us.” It would be disastrous if her mother found out that Chloe loves Red. That Red might… be fond.. of Chloe.

       No, Chloe needs to stay far, far, away.

       She can’t think. She needs to think, and thinking of Chloe isn’t doing anything except making Red want to cry- which she definitely cannot do. So Red storms out of the room. Her mother will want her to be there to greet her anyway.

       Red is early. Early enough to watch staff setting up tables and laying out table cloths and food. There is a huge variety of sweets, but Red knows she won't be eating any today (even if her stomach wasn’t turning).

       The staff work around Red, moving throughout the garden without ever coming near her except when one person stopped to ask Red if they could get her anything. She doesn’t know what she said, or if she had answered at all, but no one comes up to her again. As the sky turns from gray to blue and more people arrive, Red floats away on her thoughts. Dissociating, as Chloe had called it.

       It’s a beautiful day in which the sun hurts her eyes. All bright and cloudless. The last warmth just before fall fully turns to winter. She heard winters can be bitter cold in Auradon.

       Blue in the corner of Red’s eyes has her turning her head. The garden is full of Red’s classmates and their parents by now, mingling and laughing and hugging. Red automatically searches the grounds for the flash of color she saw, and she finds it by the gazebo.

       It’s not her roommate, though. It’s Principal Uma, smiling and talking with a darker blue haired woman that looks vaguely familiar. She has a tiara sitting on her head and looks as regal and royal as Red’s mother always tried to get her to be. Except she’s all softness and graceful smiles.

       It takes a moment to place her, because she’s never actually seen the woman in person, but she’s seen pictures and videos. She’d just always been distracted by the vicious queen standing beside her.

       Red stares, trying to figure out why the crown princess of Hanover is here and not across the continent on the diplomatic mission that kept the king and queen away. The answer comes bouncing up in a colorful, chaotic, splash of fabric that always confuses Red’s senses.

       Chloe’s cousin. The one from the Isle. Chloe hadn’t said the girl was close with one of the original four. Red watches Uma smile, say something, and then get pulled away by one of her pirates. Red’s feet carry her across the lawn.

       “Hey,” she hears her voice call, and the princess turns with a startled expression. Dizzy, Red vaguely recalls her name, turns as well, eyes widening in surprise at Red’s quick approach.

       “Red,” she says, smile looking no less welcoming despite Red being pretty sure she made a horrible impression at their introduction. “Hi! Are you looking for Chloe?”

       Red hesitates. “No,” she says, glancing at the Isle royal. She hadn’t meant to come over, but here she is, and her stomach is twisting in something unpleasant.

“I want to be good, you guys.”

                               “I want to be good…”

                                                               “I want to be good… ”

       “You’re one of the original VKs, right?” Red asks. They looked so young in those videos. Just kids, just like her. Desperate and lost, and without choice. Only they made a choice. “You’re friends with the dragon.” Red stares hard at the Auradon princess, trying to see that conflict, those VK edges everyone keeps talking about, but her edges seem as smoothed over as anyone else born free.

       The princess’s surprised expression softens. “Mal, yes. You must be the newest VK Uma was telling me about. I’m Evie.” Evie holds out her hand, but before it extends all the way, Chloe’s cousin squeaks and hurriedly grabs it, pulling it back down.

       “Red doesn’t really do hand shakes,” Dizzy says with a nervous laugh.

       “Oh,” Evie says, eyebrows rising. “My apologies.” She tilts her head, considering Red. “How are you liking Auradon so far?”

       “Aren’t you supposed to be on some diplomatic mission with the king and queen? That’s why Uma has emergency authority?”

       “Yes,” Evie laughs, unhesitatingly amused. Her eyes even shine with it. “But I portaled in to see my Dizzy.”

“I want to be good, you guys.”

       “When will… Queen Mal and King Ben be back?”

       “I’m not sure, there’s just so much to do and see, you know? Why do you ask,” she counters without a blink or pause.

       There is no visible change in expression, but Red falters as her view of the princess suddenly shifts as she recognizes that the mask of polite amusement is just that. A mask. Hiding her caution and distrust behind a perfect picture of welcoming grace.

       And Red realizes how strange she’s acting, too. How suspicious a question like that is. Red stuffs her hands into her pockets, taking a step back and averting her eyes. “Just… I wanted to ask her something.”

       “She’ll be back for my graduation; I can introduce you!” Dizzy says enthusiastically. Evie glances at the girl, before turning all her attention back on Red, smile still fixed in place.

       “But I’d be happy to answer any questions now. I know Mal pretty well.”

       “Oh- I mean, that’s-” Red shoves her hands in her pockets, cheeks flushing. She hadn’t intended to ask now. She hadn’t intended to ask at all- it was just a niggling thought that’s been drifting around in her head for weeks that suddenly became pressing when she saw the older VK. Red glares at the princess’s shoes.

       “Dizzy, do you mind getting us some drinks?” Evie gently prompts Red’s schoolmate, and the girl leaps into action.

       “Of course!” she chirps, eyes darting between the two of them, and disappears into the crowd. Red feels the Hanover princess’s gaze return to her, considering.

       “What do you want to know?” she asks. This time, it sounds different. Less guarded. Softer, like Chloe talks to her, sometimes.

       The question spills out of her. “How did Mal get free of her mom?”

       Evie’s hands slowly move from the delicate way they are folded in front of her, to land on her hips, head tilted in interest. “Distance. Opportunity. Being away from our parents and their expectations let us learn who we really were and who we wanted to be. We just had to be brave enough.”

       “But what did she do ,” Red insists, stepping closer in her urgency. Her time is ticking away faster than the hands in her chest- she can feel it. “It can’t have been that easy. How did Maleficent control her to begin with, and how did she get free?”

       Evie hesitates, pleasant mask finally slipping as her lips turn down and her eyebrows crease. Red sees the confusion, and her stomach drops as her insides shrivel up. Oh.

       It’s like a weight settles over her shoulders as all the urgency leaves her in an exhale. “Nevermind,” Red says, numb, turning away.

       “Wait, hold on,” Evie says, reaching out to stop her. Red stops because she doesn’t have the strength to pull her arm away. “What’s going on?”

       She doesn’t know what to say. She doesn’t know what to feel, either, or what she is feeling. She doesn’t think she’s dissociating. Her brain is still working, thoughts still moving in a stream of consciousness as she struggles internally for… something.

       And then the world cuts away farther. Because her eyes catch sight of a crimson dress and crimson hair, and she sees people scattering as the Queen of Hearts floats onto the lawn with a bored, severe, expression.

       “Red?” she hears faintly behind her through a muffled tunnel.

       “I have to go,” Red says, striding away. She stops short just a couple feet away from her mother and crosses her arms as the queen rakes her eyes over her.

       “We haven’t seen each other in months, and that’s what you decide to put on?”

       “Yeah, well, you control everything else about my life. This is me.”

       “Which is why I need to control everything else in your life. You clearly can’t do it right.” The queen examines Red through narrow eyes for several seconds before abruptly turning on her heel. “Follow,” she commands, and Red dutifully falls into step behind her.

       The Wonderland queen doesn’t show a moment of hesitation or uncertainty as she leads the way through the garden, past smiling families and dessert tables, until she comes to a stop beside the loud rushing flow of a fountain. The nearest person is several yards away, and they flee even farther after recognizing them.

       Red’s mother turns to face her, pose and expression expectant. “Well,” she prompts. “You have something for me, don’t you?”

       Dread clotting in her chest, Red reaches into the inside pocket of her jacket and withdraws some papers, passing them over.

       “What is this?” Her mother scoffs, not even bothering to unfold them.

       “Plans of the school,” Red says, stuffing her hands into her pockets again. It’s better than letting the queen see her fidgeting. “Maps of Auradon.”

       Her mother rolls her eyes, and with a flick, the papers disappear in a shower of sparks. “I know the layout. Please tell me you have something better than that.”

       Red glares at the fountain. “The queen is Maleficent and Hades’ kid. She can turn into a dragon and she has strong magic that she’s used several times in defense of Auradon.”

       The queen leans back slightly, something dark and festering seeming to spark in her eyes. “So the fairy and the god procreated. No surprise there.” Her hands absently reach into the folds of her dress, withdrawing a familiar stack of cards that has Red instinctively twitching backward. She knows the feel of their sharp edges well. But her mother only shuffles them absently, eyes cutting as they stare into Red. “Continue,” she commands.

       Red is unable to pull her eyes away as the cards move and twist with a mesmerizing ease through her mother’s fingers. “That’s… that’s it,” Red says.

       The cards still, and that feels like just as much of a threat as their flashing edges. “That’s it..?” The Queen of Hearts utters. Then her hand snaps out, nails flashing, and Red flinches as her jaw is snatched in a bruising hold. The bite of nails keeps her from trying to rip herself away. Her skin wouldn’t come with her. “You’ve been here for two months and that’s all you have?”

       “The guards haven’t ever seen real combat!” Red gasps out quickly. “It’s been almost thirty years since any major threat has appeared, and Mal has taken care of anything that’s popped up since they got rid of the Isle. They wouldn’t know what to do with your card soldiers.”

       “But the queen- tell me about the queen. How do I control her? It’s her and the king’s head I need for the rest of Auradon to fall,” her mother growls, squeezing tight enough to make it hard to answer at all.

       “They’ll be back for graduation! They are close to one of the girls here. Everything I’ve seen says she’s ruled by her heart- just use her, or take one of her crew.”

       A beat passes, and then her mother starts to smile. A thread of almost pride seems to leak into it. Then she releases Red, her bruising touch suddenly turning gentle, and an uncomfortably large part of Red wants to lean into it. To just let herself take comfort in it. But misery is twisting inside of her and she mostly just wants to cry.

       So she turns her eyes away. But then they meet warm brown eyes surrounded by wildly curly blue. Chloe is staring straight at her, their gazes locked, her hand on her sword like she’s about to draw it.

       A scoff from beside her has Red twitching again, ripping her eyes away desperately, but her mother is already looking in that direction. “Look at her,” she sneers. “The picture of everything she ever claimed to hate.”

       It takes Red a moment to realize that she’s staring at Ella, rather than her daughter. Ella, who is looking back as well, straight spined and calm and every bit regal. Red only just starts to feel relief that her mother hadn’t noticed her interest in the queen’s daughter, when it feels like Red’s world implodes.

       “I think her daughter’s head will be the first one I take after the king and queen’s. See how superior she acts then.”

Chapter Text

Anxiety curls in Chloe’s stomach as her eyes search through the crowd, desperately trying to catch a flash of crimson. She clutches the hilt of her sword like a lifeline, still itching to draw it. She almost had, when the Queen of Hearts had grabbed Red’s face.

       Now she’s lost sight of the two of them, and Red might have told her to stay away, but she’ll be damned if she doesn’t keep an eye on them so she knows what kind of damage control she will have to do.

       She’s already anticipating the backslide. Red being more snappish, Red withdrawing physically and mentally, Red having more nightmares or going back to sneaking out every night. Maybe Chloe can head off some of it if she catches her as soon as her mom is gone. Undo some of the damage. (Honestly, the backslide already started a week ago when Parent’s Day became more imminent as teachers and students talked about it and made preparations.)

       “Chloe, are you even listening?” Jada huffs from beside her. Their parents had started chatting not too long ago, making plans to go out to dinner later.

       “Sorry,” Chloe apologizes automatically, “but have you seen Red?”

       Jada rolls her eyes, as she does every time Chloe mentions her roommate. “She was headed toward the dorms. Guess her mom already left.”

       Chloe instantly turns in that direction, but her arm is caught. “Don’t tell me you’re leaving early for her. What about your parents?” 

       Chloe abruptly remembers that her parents are, indeed, here, and she turns to catch her mom’s eye. “Mom, I’ve gotta find Red. I’ll call you later, okay?”

       Her mother’s eyes are understanding and sympathetic as she smiles at Chloe. “Go ahead, baby. I love you.”

       “Love you too,” she hurries out, and then darts in the direction of their dorms.

       It takes her until she leaves behind the crowd to realize that her friend is following her. “Seriously,” Jada huffs at her elbow, “Your parents came all the way out here to see you, and you’re just going to blow them off to hang out with that bitch?”

       Chloe feels genuine irritation for her friend bubbling in her stomach. Between Shane’s hurt puppy dog eyes, Jada’s distrust toward Chloe’s roommate, and Amarie being entirely unhelpful on every front by making suggestive comments about Red’s affections, everything in her friend group has been distressingly off since the beginning of the year.

       Their friendships have been feeling more and more like a chore the past few weeks, to the point where Chloe really would just rather hang out with Red and avoid them entirely. But she also doesn’t actually want to do that. 

       “Not right now,” Chloe says impatiently as she jogs up the stairs, trying not to snap at the friend that she’s had since elementary. She misses her friends and their normal ease, but Chloe feels closer and closer to snapping, because whenever Red inevitably is brought up, Jada always has something to say, and it’s always in a disparaging light. “Seriously, I can’t do this right now.”

       “You never-” a crashing sound spills out into the hallway, and Chloe bolts forward even faster, ripping open the door to her room. Her stomach drops at the sight, as she steps over Red’s chair that is laying sideways on the ground in front of the door. The likely reason for the sound.

       Red paces erratically on her side of the room. It’s a short distance- one step, two, turn- more of a circle than a back and forth, and the circle seems to grow smaller and smaller as her huffing breaths do. There is what looks like an obnoxiously large pocket watch in her hand that she’s frantically twisting and pushing the button of, but it’s not seeming to do what she wants, because she only grows more agitated as she rips at her hair and then slams it against her desk.

       “Red, what’s wrong,” Chloe requests, keeping her voice even as she approaches.

       Red doesn’t even look up as she slams the cracked face down again. “It’s not working- it’s not working! ” She spins and hurls the watch as hard as she can with a growling scream. It hits the wall with a loud crack as she staggers with the force of her throw. Chloe reaches out to steady her, but she twists violently away. “Don’t touch me!” She rips at the drawers in her dresser, yanking them off their tracks and flinging them blindly to the floor.

       Chloe quickly detours to her own desk, plucking up her headphones before hurrying back to the other side of the room. She fumbles with her phone, quickly trying to get some music playing- Red always feels better when music is blasting directly into her eardrums.

       Red is tearing at her bedsheets now, after having flipped her entire dresser on its side, and Chloe’s heart thuds loudly. She’s never seen Red like this. She’s never wrecked her things- she has always, always, kept it neat.

       Now it looks like a genuine natural disaster has swept through the room. Chloe desperately shoves the headphones onto her friend’s head, just wanting her to stop , to calm down , but Red whips around like a viper, ripping off the headphones with one hand and chucking them, too, against the wall, while the other lashes out at Chloe.

       Chloe stumbles back, cheek stinging where her roommate’s nails raked, and she trips over one of the spilled drawers. She yelps as pain shoots through her hip and back as she lands awkwardly on top of it.

       Red’s wild energy instantly shifts, freezing her with wide eyes locked on Chloe. She feels a bit like an injured, cornered, wild animal is staring her down, and any movement or noise will burst the bubble of sudden stillness.

       A new voice ruthlessly shatters that bubble from the doorway. “What the fuck?!”

       Chloe scrambles quickly to her feet, wincing in pain, but stepping in front of Jada as she moves furiously toward Red. “Jada, stop. It’s okay.”

       “She put her hands on you!” she spits, trying to push her way past.

       “It was my fault- she told me not to touch her and I didn’t listen because I thought I knew what I was doing-”

       “You don’t know what you’re doing,” Jada spits, turning her frustrated glare on Chloe. “You haven’t the faintest idea! You let yourself fall into an abusive relationship under the guise of you helping her, but you’re not a savior , Chloe. You’re a sucker.”

       Red bolts, the bathroom door slamming behind her, and Chloe’s heart jumps.

       “Get out,” Chloe says, voice harsh to her own ears. There is fury burning her insides, because this is the absolute worst time for Jada to be here. To be saying these things and trying to pull Chloe away.

       A dull thud sounds through the bathroom door.

       “Chloe, she’s not-”

       “I said get the fuck out! ” Chloe screams, ripping her sword from its scabbard and brandishing it at her friend. Everything inside her is telling her that something is wrong and she needs to get Jada to leave- now . 

       As she hears another thud, Jada yelps as Chloe drives her back by pressing the tip into her chest. Jada turns and slams the door shut behind her. Distantly, she sees the look on her face and wonders if this is the thing that breaks their friendship (if she goes after her now, could she save it?).

       Chloe drops her sword and races to the bathroom door. She knows it won’t be locked. No matter how many times Chloe has walked in on Red, she always forgets. She shoves inside, and then lunges for the tub as Red flings her head back into the tiled wall with a sickening crack.

       “Fuck, Red,” Chloe hisses, catching her head as she coils up to slam it back again. Chloe hurriedly slides into the tub behind her friend, acting as a physical barrier against her skull and the blood smeared on the wall.

       “She’s right, Chloe, I’m not good,” Red sobs, nearly incoherent, and still trying to slam backward. But Chloe holds her tightly to her chest to keep her from gaining enough momentum to do any more damage. She winces as her bruised back bounces against the tub edge. “I can’t be good.”

       “Of course you can. You are . I can see it,” Chloe argues, desperately trying to soothe her.

       “No, I can’t ,” she babbles, shoving her fists into her eye sockets. “The queen . The queen has my heart.”

       Chloe buries her face in Red’s hair, hiding the hot tears sliding down her own face. She hates this. “I know you love your mom,” her voice breaks.

       “No, she has my heart, Chloe- my heart- ” her hands move down to claw at her chest, stretching her shirt and leaving pink lines along her skin, and-

       “Oh.” Her heart is beating entirely too fast as realization claws her across the face like Red’s nails a minute ago. “She has… your actual heart.” Chloe’s head spins and spins and spins. “How-”

       “That’s why she’s called the Queen of Hearts. She takes it and puts it in a box and then you’re hers. You can’t die when she protects your heart, that’s why she only needs fifty-two, but I’m her joker- her wild card- and I can’t be good and I can’t die. I want to die, Chloe, but it won’t work- it never works- and all I can do is chase my head when it decides to run away-”

       Chloe chokes on a sob that rushes out of her as she clutches onto her roommate. She presses her palm against the scar over where Red’s heart should be- the one Chloe had previously thought looked like someone tried to cut it out. And if Red’s heart has been removed and she’s still alive, maybe her head can be removed and put back on, too.

       It feels impossible- it feels very wrong- but magic always changes the realities of what is possible. There’s not a lot known about Wonderland magic. Just that the place is made of it.

       Red wants to die. She actively wants to die. She’s just not able to because of whatever magic her mother has done. Fuck. How much control does the queen having Red’s heart give her over her friend?

       “Breathe, baby. Just breathe,” Chloe murmurs. That’s all she can do, at the moment. Just get the girl to calm down. She needs to check her head. There was blood on the wall. She wonders if the head bashing was another attempt on her life, or if it was part of the meltdown. She doesn’t know what would be the better scenario. That Red didn’t mean to do it, or she did, even knowing it wouldn’t achieve anything.

       Slowly, Red’s breathing calms, and her straining muscles loosen. But when they do, her head starts lulling and her words become even more slurred and nonsensical. “M’ not allowed to have friends. I tried once, but she didn’t like that. Chester the cat and Ace the Ace- she does it on purpose. Even when she doesn’t know, she wants to take it from me. She wan’s t’kill you, and she doesn’t even know.” Red laughs suddenly, loudly and unnervingly exuberant. Chloe’s stomach drops; she has been aching to hear the sound for weeks now, but not like this. “Even when she doesn’t know what you mean to me, she’s still going to take your head.”

       The slurring words abruptly cut off, and Chloe feels even more alarmed when her head rolls sideways off Chloe’s shoulder, and then forward, and she promptly throws up over her own front. She chokes a bit on it, and Chloe shoves her forward so her head is between her knees, but all that comes out is a thin stream of clear stomach acid that she gags on.

       “It’s okay, baby, you’re okay,” Chloe soothes, rubbing a hand up and down her back, even though she’s pretty sure Red is dissociated again, because she’s become entirely unreactive except for the tears leaking slowly down her cheeks. At least, she hopes it’s dissociation and not because of the damage to the back of her head. Can she give herself brain damage under whatever magic she’s under?

       “What happened,” a voice sighs from the doorway, and Chloe jolts in genuine surprise. Principal Uma stands outlined in the frame, face serious, but calm as she looks over the bathroom.

       “What-”

       “Your friend, Jada, was very distressed,” she cuts Chloe off, and demands again, “What happened.”

       Chloe tries to ignore the guilt she feels at the sheer relief that an adult is here. An adult that might know what to do. Chloe scrubs a sleeve over her face, and is startled as the right one stings under the treatment. Because Red had hit her.

       “Red- she, um… She kind of freaked out. H-her head- can you grab the med kit from under the sink?”

       The pirate observes for another moment before kneeling down and withdrawing the plastic box. She opens it, perching on the edge of the tub and inspecting the back of Red’s head from a distance as Chloe prods at it and tries to see the damage. It’s difficult when her locks are the same color as her blood.

       There is a huge knot on the back that feels lumpy and swollen, and Chloe’s hands come away slightly wet, but not overly so. She presses some gauze firmly into the knot. Red doesn’t react.

       “Hey, kid, what happened?” the Principal asks her swaying roommate. She waits a moment, then reaches out to tilt her face back by her chin. “Kid?”

       Chloe’s heart jolts unsteadily, remembering the way her mother had grabbed her like that. There are purple bruises already forming, and little crescents left from nails, and Chloe’s hand snaps out without thought to knock the pirate’s hand away. “Don’t touch her like that,” she snaps. She’s never talked to an adult that way before. She’s never put her hands on anyone outside of sparring before, either, and she knows that the principal’s touch was gentle, but her nerves feel frayed and she feels like she might explode out of her skin in anxiety.

       Uma regards her without criticism, only consideration.

       “She’s your crew,” she drawls after a moment. “Got it. Can you get her to the bed on your own?”

       Chloe stares for a moment before climbing out of the bathtub. She grips under Red’s arms, squeezing slightly. “Come on Red, can you stand up for me? Please?” She tugs, and after a moment, Red shifts forward. “That’s it. Come on, step out of the tub for me, now,” Chloe encourages softly.

       Red tilts and falls more than steps out of the bathtub, but Chloe is there to catch her. She tilts even more, like her head is being dragged to the floor, and Chloe bends down to just scoop her into her arms. Her friend sighs, head falling into the crook of Chloe’s neck.

       Red is most definitely concussed (if the vomiting and slurring of words wasn’t the first hint). Principal Uma leads the way into the main room, and Chloe winces at the reminder of the mess of it. Chloe goes to her own bed to deposit her roommate, since Red's is stripped and a minefield of furniture.

       The pirate captain bends down, looking at the scattered clothes.

       Red blinks at Chloe after she sets her on the edge of the bed, eyes fixed unfocused on her face. Her hand lifts, gently touching the scratches that are hot against Chloe’s cheek. Chloe gently bites the fingers, in an imitation of what Red likes to do to Chloe, and reaches up to pull her hand away. “I’m okay, b-… Red.” 

       Chloe glances over as Uma approaches, a clean shirt in her hands. She sets it on the edge before going back to the bathroom.

       “Arms up,” Chloe says, turning back to her friend. It takes some maneuvering getting Red’s shirt up and over her head without getting the vomit in her hair. Chloe does a quick once over, taking in the raised lines Red had scratched into her chest. She turns over her arms next, holding her breath in unease. The air rushes out of her.

       The last time Chloe saw Red’s arms, there were a dozen fresh cuts not even scabbed over. Now there are only scars.

       Chloe bites her lip, feeling a mix of emotions as she pulls Red’s clean shirt over her head. She kisses her gloved palm before bending down to remove her shoes. Chloe feels her principal return, watching as Chloe guides Red under the blankets. She would like to take her pants off, too, but she’s not going to do that with another person observing. Red would hate that- hate anyone witnessing her like this.

       “Here,” Uma says once Red is settled, holding out a broken ice pack. Chloe gently settles it under the lump on her head, brushing her hair from her face.

       Chloe’s skin is still crawling, adrenaline running through her veins, and it’s hard to look away, hard to pull away. She growls in frustration and crawls into the bed, ignoring the fact that her principal is still observing them. The only thing that matters is that Red turns and curls into Chloe, and Chloe has to readjust to physically hold the ice pack to her head herself.

       The pirate captain sighs. “I’ll check in in a couple hours. If she tries to climb out the window before then, come find me.”

       Chloe whips her head toward the older woman. “How did you-”

       “Please, if she hasn’t snuck out that window at least once, I’m not a pirate.” Uma kicks the tipped chair away from the door and pulls it closed behind her.

       It’s a good while after their principal leaves that Red makes any noise, shifting against Chloe. “My head hurts,” she whimpers, tears making her breathing sound wet as she lifts a wavering hand to her head.

       “I know, baby, I’m so sorry. You probably have a concussion,” Chloe says, rubbing a thumb over the furrow of pain that had been absent not too long ago. “What do you remember?”

       Red squints open her eyes, and her hand moves from her head to Chloe’s face, hovering over it as her expression darkens. “I hurt you.”

       “You told me not to touch you and I didn’t listen,” Chloe shrugs.

       Red bites harshly at her lips, pulling her hand back toward her chest. “It’s still not… I don’t want to be like my mom,” she sighs and closes her eyes. The slur to her words is still prominent and thick.

       “You’re not, baby, I promise you’re not.”

       “I like it when you call me that,” Red hums, seeming to drift in and out of consciousness. Chloe’s cheeks heat at her words. It had slipped out on accident in the shock of Red hurting herself. She hadn’t even noticed she was still saying it.

       Chloe leans forward and presses a kiss to Red’s shoulder, hoping she’s not taking advantage. She really hopes she’s not. She doesn’t think she is. “What else do you remember, baby?” Chloe asks.

       “Mm,” she whines, “’M not good, I can’t be good.”

       “Because your mom took your heart?” Chloe presses. “Where does she keep it?”

       “In a box,” she sighs deeply. “Sometimes I can feel it trying to escape. Princess, my head hurts.”

       “I know, baby.”

       “I like it when you call me that.”

       “I know, baby. Tell me where your mom keeps the box.”

       “What box?”

       She doesn’t have it in her to get frustrated or impatient at the looping thoughts. It’s mostly just concerning. “The box with your heart. Where does she keep it?”

       “She has a vault,” Red whines, hands lifting toward her ears. “Princess, my head,” she cries brokenly.

       Chloe uses her thumb to gently wipe the new tears from her friend’s cheek. “Okay, Red, that’s enough. Thank you, my sweet girl. I love you.”

       “Love you,” Red weakly echoes, making Chloe’s breath catch. She knows she shouldn’t put too much weight into it. Again, Red is concussed and very out of it. Half the things she’s said are nonsense, the other half a confused echo. So she shouldn’t let herself be affected by these words. But she is. She can’t help the heat that floods her face and veins. The way her chest burns and she feels, for a moment, so immensely happy.

       When it becomes clear that Red is finally, truly, out, Chloe slides out of the bed and crosses over to her closet. She scours it for a while, pulling out her darkest clothes, her sturdiest shoes, and ties her hair back from her face. A knock sounds at the door just as she refastens her sword to her hip.

       Chloe hesitates, wondering if it’s her principal again or someone else. Parents’ Day should be well over by now- it might be her mom coming to say goodbye, or it might be Jada wanting to yell at her again. In the end, Chloe yanks the door open because she doesn’t want the person on the other side to knock a second time and disturb her roommate.

       She relaxes at seeing her principal on the other side and leaves the door open to collect her fencing gloves off her desk. Uma moves into the room, eyes glancing at the sleeping girl and then turning to examine Chloe.

       “Going somewhere?” she asks.

       Chloe hesitates, looking back at Uma, her principal. A pirate. A hero of Auradon. A VK.

       “How would you feel about helping me steal something?”

       The principal’s eyebrows lift toward her hairline, and she crosses her arms. “Yeah, I’m going to need more information.”

       “I can tell you on the way. Do you know where the entrance to Wonderland is?”

Chapter Text

“So you want to literally steal her heart,” Principal Uma drawls.

       “Why do you have to say it like that?” Chloe sighs, impatiently readjusting her sword. There is nothing wrong with it, there is just a restless adrenaline running through her that hasn’t let up since- probably early that morning when she found her friend bent over the toilet.

       “Because you are an idiot,” Principal Uma drones, not even glancing away from the road as she guides one of the school vehicles down the dark path, as casual as if they weren’t actively planning sneaking into a hostile nation’s castle and stealing right from under the tyrannical queen’s nose. “If we get her heart away from the Queen, she won’t just automatically die?”

       “I don’t know,” Chloe admits. She hadn't really thought of that. She probably should have.

       “Okay,” Uma says, “assuming she doesn’t kick it, she’ll at least be able to make her own choices, right?”

       “I… don’t know.”

       Her principal looks over at her, face expectant under the light glow of the dashboard. “And where exactly is this vault of hearts located?”

       Chloe bites her lip. “I-”

       “Let me guess,” the pirate deadpans as she pulls the car over. The headlights create a spotlight on a dozen WARNING and DANGER signs plastered on a boarded up hole burrowed into a hill. Honestly, the rabbit hole is nothing like she imagined it from the stories.

       “Look, you don’t need to come with me,” Chloe huffs, folding her arms. She had already made up her mind before she even thought of inviting her principal along. “I know it’s a bad plan, but I can do it on my-”

       “Yeah, not happening,” she cuts Chloe off with a roll of her eyes. “I’m not new to following along with bad plans, Princess. Red is my responsibility. I promised her a choice, and I’m going to make sure she actually gets one. And I need to keep you alive, seeing as you are my responsibility, too. Fuck, I honestly didn’t think any Auradon kid would be as troublesome as the traumatized VK I invited over.”

       Maybe a day ago, Chloe would have become an anxious mess at the idea of one of her teachers- her principal at that - thinking of her as trouble, but at the moment, she’s already at her capacity for worry. So she just shoves open the car door and steps out. “Then what are we waiting for?”

       The sedan cuts off, plunging the forest into darkness as the pirate follows her. “An invitation,” she says.

       Chloe frowns. “What-” a bright flash cuts her off as it blinds her, but her principal doesn’t even flinch as a new person suddenly appears, a thin, familiar, wand brandished in her hand.

       “Sorry for taking so long, Harry was putting up a fuss about getting stuck on babysitting duty and not being allowed to go.”

       “Harry’s an idiot. I’ll deal with him when I get back.”

       “Evie?” Her cousin’s self-appointed sister looks over at Chloe with a soft smile. She’s dressed in leathers now, different than she was earlier today, and sturdy shoes. They are her Isle clothes. It’s been a while since she’s seen her wear them.

       “Hey, Chloe. I hope you don’t mind; Uma asked me to tag along.”

       “Of course not,” Chloe says, stepping forward to embrace the older girl. “Thank you.” Her mission suddenly feels a little less impossible with these two particular fierce women on her side.

       “So here’s the rundown,” Uma intones without inflection, like she’s nearly always verging on boredom and nothing can truly surprise her. No matter how insane it sounds. “We are going to steal the Princess of Heart’s literal heart that her mother keeps in a box in a vault. We don’t know where the vault is, or what the box looks like, and we are also hoping that all the magic keeping Red alive without her heart, keeps working when we remove it from Wonderland and the one who cast the magic.”

       Evie tilts her head, staring at Uma, before her eyes drop to Chloe. Chloe waits for her to ask more questions, to voice doubts or complaints or ask if they are serious.

       Instead, she just says, “Sounds fun. Let’s do it.” She brandishes Fairy Godmother’s wand, pointing it at a blank piece of paper that the pirate withdraws from her pocket. They all stare at it, and slowly, the tip of the wand starts to glow and bleed into the paper. Then the paper flutters up into the air as if caught in a breeze, twists, and then drifts toward the rabbit-hole.

       It passes through the wood as if it were an illusion.

       “And off we go,” Evie says, a self-satisfied smile on her face as she watches the ‘invitation’ flutter off, a subtle shimmer of magic now wavering over the entrance to Wonderland.

       Chloe swallows, her nervousness suddenly so much worse, but her resolve only grows harder.

       “You’ve been practicing, haven’t you Princess,” Uma compliments, almost sounding impressed as she unhesitatingly strides forward.

       “Of course. My mother was a witch, you know.”

…………………

Wonderland is different in the subtlest of ways where it’s almost intangible for Chloe to place. It’s like everything is just the slightest bit off . After the dizzying tunnel in which up and down and left and right confused her senses and she got vertigo in the lack of vertigo of walking on the ceiling, and the world reasserted itself into something familiar, it still feels off, like it is gravity itself that is different.

       Uma shakes her head sharply when they exit the tunnel, pulling at her ears. “Trippy,” she mutters.

       The forest on the other side is much like the one they left, except the world seems darker, the trees taller and thicker. The breeze sounds almost like a whisper through the branches, and a shiver runs down Chloe’s spine when she realizes that the leaves remain still.

       “Alright, Princess. On you.” It takes Chloe a moment to realize that both women are looking at her, and her heart jolts. She swallows thickly.

       It feels strange and almost wrong that these two women are looking to her for direction so easily. Without any fight or discussion. How has she managed to gain their confidence when she’s never had a chance to prove herself before? What, Swords and Shields? That’s a game- not anything with real steaks. She half expected the pirate to just bulldoze over her and take over the mission. Maybe even force her to stay back while she takes care of it. It would even be within her right as the ‘responsible’ adult in this scenario.

       “Right. Okay, this way,” Chloe says, lifting her chin and starting off down the path she saw the magicked paper disappear with feigned confidence. She doesn’t know how well she succeeds, but they fall into step at her side. 

       “You got a plan for when we find the castle?” her principal asks. Like she just expected her to have a functioning plan.

       “Maddox,” Chloe says, keeping her eyes ahead of her. She doesn’t know how far they will have to walk, but if a young Alice can find her way to the castle, so can they. “He’s Red’s tutor. From what she’s said, he might help us if we can find him; he cares about her.”

       “Enough to risk getting caught for treason?”

       “He’s done it before,” Chloe says. Maddox is just about the only thing Red is willing to talk about in regards to Wonderland, not that she often does. It’s only ever with Chloe’s prompting. Anything else, and Red is tight-lipped and avoidant.

       “Where can we find him?” Evie asks.

       “Red said he’s nearly always in his lab attached to his quarters. So he won’t be in the normal servants’ wings. But being Red’s tutor, he’d also be near her rooms,” Chloe muses, and thinking out loud helps her work through her reasoning. Makes her sound like she’s thought this a little more through than she actually has. “He’d probably be in the same tower as her but on a lower level.”

       “So we just need to find the princess’ tower. Easy enough. Those are always in the same spots, aren’t they?”

       “Usually,” Evie agrees.

       They walk quietly at a brisk, purposeful pace for a while that should have them covering plenty of ground and slightly out of breath, but Chloe isn’t out of breath. Chloe feels strong and energized with determination, brain trying to come up with the perfect words she’d say to convince someone to risk their life by trusting three total strangers. Red would probably never forgive her if she got her only friend (and Chloe understands that he is her friend, even if she’s scared to acknowledge it to herself) killed…

       Then Uma comes to a sudden halt. “Aaand, that’s the third time we’ve passed this boulder,” she drawls, abruptly bringing Chloe’s attention back to their surroundings.

       “What? No it’s not,” she denies, eyes automatically swinging around to look at the indicated boulder no taller than her knee. It’s jagged on one side, smooth and curved on the other. She stares harder at it uncertainly. “We’ve been going in a straight line.”

       “It definitely is,” Uma deadpans.

       They keep walking for a while, Chloe keeping her eyes more intent on the path, and sure enough, after a while, a boulder appears on the edge of the trail, smooth on one side, sharp on the other.

       “Crap,” Chloe says, coming to a stop. “How… is this happening? The path hasn’t branched at all; if it’s a loop, we should have circled back to the rabbit hole.”

       “Magic, obviously. Wonderland is made of it,” Uma says, wearily looking around at the trees, one hand braced on the hilt of her sword.

       Evie nods along, eyes lit in interest. “I think the trees are moving,” she says.

       “Tulgey Wood,” Chloe recalls. “Red said that the woods surrounding the Capital rearrange itself to protect against outsiders and keep people from wandering too far.”

       The pirate glances sideways at Chloe. “I thought you said you didn’t know much about Wanderland.”

       “I don’t,” Chloe agrees. “It just… came up once.” She blushes, recalling the night on the lawn- the night Chloe realized the extent of her feelings and the first time she fell asleep in Red’s arms.

       Uma rolls her eyes. “Great, so how do we navigate it?”

       “I don’t know,” Chloe frowns, thinking. She hesitantly looks out toward the trees, then steps forward. “Um, Wonderland?” she hedges, gaining an unimpressed look from the pirate. “I’m a friend of Red’s, the princess of Hearts? She… means a lot to me, and I’m trying to help her, but in order to do so, we need to get to the castle. Please, will you let us through?”

       Chloe falls silent and listens hard, looking for any sign that she was heard- that the forest would let them through- but there is nothing, and her heart sinks.

       The principal claps her hands once in front of her, “Well, that didn’t work- next plan.”

       “Oh, hush,” Evie says, elbowing her. “If Wonderland is sentient, it wasn’t a bad idea.”

       “It works in all the stories,” Chloe defends weakly, face flushed in embarrassment.

       “Not a story, kid.”

       “I don’t know,” Evie counters, offering Chloe an amused smile, “the knight ventures into a hostile nation to save the princess? Sounds like the makings of a fairytale to me.” Chloe’s cheeks burn even more, feeling very exposed. “But I do have an idea.”

       The Hanover princess lifts the wand and withdraws another blank sheet of paper. “Maddox, was it?” she checks, before magic lights up the surrounding forest and envelops the paper. They all watch as it flutters up, twists in the air, and then shoots off down the path. “We better keep up,” Evie calls, starting down the path at a clipped pace.

       Chloe and Uma start off as well, and they all follow the glowing beacon of the floating letter.

       “I can’t believe Fairy Godmother let you borrow her wand,” Chloe says, clutching her sword so it doesn’t rattle and bounce on her hip as she runs.

       “Well, I wouldn’t exactly say she gave it to me,” Evie ventures, earning a wide-eyed look from Chloe and a snort from Uma. “What?” she says defensively, “Mal has stolen it, like, four times by now. It’s not exactly hard. She probably expects it at this point. Besides, it’s for a good cause.”

       Chloe’s first instinct is to argue the morality of theft, regardless of reason. But then she remembers the mission they are currently on and clamps her mouth shut before she can make a hypocrite of herself. She shakes her head, trying to physically shake the discomfort away, and turns to focus on their guide.

       Just in time, too, as it quickly swerves off the path. But when they try to break through the line of fauna, a new road magically appears on the other side. Chloe’s breath catches. She doesn’t know if the road had always been there, just obscured by the vegetation, or if the forest rearranged itself, but she hardly has the time to think on it.

       They run for a while, but Chloe still feels strangely okay. Definitely not as out of breath as she should be, and the theory that gravity is lighter here becomes a stronger possibility in her head.

       The paper twists and veers and gets farther and farther ahead as they chase after it, and if it were day time, they would have been left behind a long time ago. But the magic glowing off it lets them see if from quite a distance, and by the time it shoots straight up into the air and disappears, it doesn’t matter, because they are standing at the edge of the trees and the castle rises up very obviously at the center of an enormous hedge maze. Chloe watches the faint glow of the letter blink out of sight as it slips through a crack in the window of a far tower.

       “Okay,” Chloe says, taking the time to catch her breath. She doesn’t know how long it’s been since they went through the rabbit hole, but she feels that it’s been a while. The time and the run has calmed her urgency, though not her resolve. Her resolve has only sharpened, as her impatience settles into something pointed. “Anybody good at hedge mazes?”

       They start off decently enough, having to double back several times, but they make steady progress. But as they get closer to the center of the maze, the more options there are to choose from and there are switchbacks and spirals and sometimes they find themselves almost back at the start before they realize where they are being guided.

       Chloe is pretty sure the maze isn’t rearranging itself, but it’s so confounding that it might as well be. She thinks the only way they’d actually be able to make it to the castle is pure luck. No wonder there weren’t any guards at the entrances.

       “So what happens when we get her heart? I don’t think that’s something we can just put back in her chest and call everything dandy. Does she just walk around with a box with her heart in it for the rest of her life?” Uma asks, staring up at the towering walls of the hedge.

       “She’ll probably find somewhere to keep it,” Chloe responds impatiently as they come to another dead end. What does that even matter right now if they can’t even make it through this maze?

       “And the big question: do we even give it to her?” she continues.

       “Of course we do,” Chloe bristles, shooting her principal a glare. “It’s her heart.”

       “And I’ve seen what she’s done to herself. She’s suicidal, isn’t she? I’m just saying, if we give her the thing keeping her alive, what’s to keep her from immediately killing herself?”

       That brings Chloe up short, and she stops walking, turning on the merwoman .“That’s her choice . That’s why you wanted to come, isn’t it? To give her that?”

       “Relax, kid,” she sighs, holding up her hands. “I’m not saying that’s what we’re going to do, it’s just something to think about.”

       And Chloe does think about it. She agonizes over it, seeing over and over in her brain Red slamming her head back against a wall. Red’s self harm scars. Red saying I want to die- it never works.

       Could Red be trusted with her own life? Could Chloe hand over her heart and trust that Red won’t kill herself as soon as Chloe looks away? Or could giving Red that choice, that freedom , fix half the issues making her want to die?

       Red was angry at first, and sometimes she gets overstimulated and overwhelmed, but the past few weeks, Chloe thought she seemed… happy. She was getting better . But is it enough?

       They wander for what is probably hours, just circling and circling the castle, but never seeming to draw closer for long, until, finally, they find themselves walking parallel with the castle wall just on the other side of one more hedge.

       When they draw even with the tallest tower they saw the letter disappear in, they almost unanimously come to a halt. The captain stares up at the vertical structure consideringly. “Think we can squeeze through or climb over?” She ventures. “Even if we do find an exit, I don’t think we’d be able to just stroll through the front doors.”

       “Might as well try,” Chloe says, feeling tired from all the walking and catastrophizing. “Sunrise can’t be far off and we still need to make it back through the maze and the maybe-sentient forest.”

       Climbing the hedge is an awkward and embarrassing affair that she hopes no one ever witnesses. The hedge is too thick to squeeze through but too thin to climb on top, so it’s kind of a mix between clawing and climbing. It takes at least ten minutes to get to the other side, and she’s frustrated and scratched, but she feels slightly better seeing that her older companions look just as disgruntled about the whole thing.

       Apparently no one can make climbing through a bush look elegant.

       They all instinctively fall quieter once they are on the other side. Without the maze as concealment, Chloe feels a lot more exposed. So when Uma starts automatically climbing the ivy on the side of the tower, Chloe doesn’t verbally protest.

       She goes pale, craning her neck back to look up, up, up at the tallest window. That should be Red’s room. Probably. Hopefully they don’t climb all the way up this wall only for it to be the wrong room. Chloe really hates heights.

       But when it comes time for her turn, she grits her teeth and grabs hold of the vine. She can imagine Red doing this a hundred times growing up- sneaking out. She scaled their dorm so easily, there’s no way she hadn’t had lots of practice clinging to the side of a building. At least the ivy and the lighter gravity makes it easier for Chloe.

       That doesn’t mean she isn’t shaking and completely exhausted by the time Uma and Evie help haul her through the window at the top. Chloe collapses on the ground, breathing heavily and muscles burning. She seems to be the only one among them who clearly hasn’t scaled the side of a building before, because the older women just kind of smile at her and give her a moment to gather herself.

       Uma immediately sets to snooping.

       Chloe sits up, looking cautiously around. There is a lot of black and red, and lots of hearts. Even the bed and pillows are heart shaped, and it’s… strange. The room is entirely empty and devoid of life. Of personality. Just like Red’s side of the room back at Auradon, but this is supposed to be her room , isn’t it?

       Chloe peeks into the closet and sees that, yes, these are Red’s clothes.

       Discomforted, Chloe spots the attached bathroom and pushes to her feet. “I’m going to use the bathroom while we have a chance,” Chloe tells Evie, who looks up from her inspection of the heart decor. “Please try to keep my principal from invading my roommate’s privacy,” Chloe begs, indicating to the pirate who is now fully rifling through drawers.

       “Uma,” Evie snaps.

       “What?” she drawls, not even looking up.

       Chloe slips into that bathroom, reaching for the lock on autopilot, only for her fingers to touch smooth knob. She crouches down to see that, oh, there is no lock. How strange .

       “Why is there no lock?” she murmurs to herself, though that would explain why Red never remembers.

       Suddenly, the doorknob moves, two eyes blinking open at her with a disbelieving stare. “Do you know who’s castle this is? The queen would melt me down to a paperweight if I ever thought myself important enough to keep her out!”

       Chloe yelps and falls backward, heart instantly racing. “You talk!” she gasps out.

       “Well I say, so do you!” it retorts, metal shifting in a way that solid metal isn’t supposed to move. Chloe feels a bit faint, even though she does recall Red saying something about talking doorknobs and tea cups, and she doesn’t know why she didn’t really believe it. Maybe because it just seemed so bazaar, even more so than talking flowers and talking rabbits. At least flowers and rabbits are alive .

       And she still has to pee. “Could you- close your eyes, please,” Chloe requests uneasily.

       The eyes melt back into the metal, and the door smooths out as if it’s solid once more. Still, Chloe feels very paranoid peeing. When she’s done and feels a bit calmer, she hesitates at the door, before cautiously reaching out and twisting the knob.

       A sharp pain pinches her fingers as she pulls it open, and she yanks her hand back with another yelp. The doorknob bit her! Maybe it is a Wonderland thing.

       Uma and Evie look over at her pained noise, raising their eyebrows. The doorknob blows a raspberry before melding back to smooth metal. “The doorknobs talk. And bite,” Chloe informs them, cradling her stinging fingers and still feeling wrong-footed.

       “Huh,” Uma says, and then the floor opens up underneath her.

Chapter Text

Evie is the first one to react. She lunges forward in a flash, catching the fabric on the back of the pirate’s shoulder as they both curse and scramble for stability. Then more of the floor folds away, dropping both women into darkness.

       Chloe stands there for a moment, eyes wide and heart in her throat as she wonders what she should do. Wonders if this was a boobietrap made to catch intruders, or if they were already caught. But there are no sounds of rushing footsteps toward the room and Chloe’s hair stands on end at being suddenly alone in an unknown place.

       She carefully walks to the edge of the hole, looking down into the darkness, and decides she’d rather face the unknown with company. She has no idea where that tube leads and she can’t leave them behind.

       So she takes a deep breath, closes her eyes, and jumps blindly into darkness.

       She almost immediately crashes into another body that curses, and then they are all falling again down a long shute that quickly changes directions, bouncing Chloe off a wall as she slides more than falls, before the path opens up below her again and the walls fall away.

       Chloe gives a sharp cry as she crashes down on top of another person, and her sword hilt jabs her painfully in her ribs.

       “Fucking hell, kid,” Uma curses, shoving Chloe off her as she also tries to separate from Evie. They had landed on a couch one on top of another, and Chloe’s adrenaline is running too high to take in anything else except that they weren’t spit out directly into a prison cell.

       She scrambles to her feet, looking wildly around the room and gripping the sword hilt that might have left a permanent mark in her side.

       “Who are you, and what were you doing in the princess’ chambers?”

       Chloe’s head swings around toward the sound of the voice, landing on a figure crouched oddly in an armchair directly across from the loveseat they landed on. His feet are planted in the cushion seat, hands resting flat on his knees and looking at them- serious expression completely at odds with his odd posture and the frankly ridiculous purple hair poking out of an old top hat.

       His appearance, though, strikes familiarity in Chloe’s mind. She’s heard very little of this man, but she’s suddenly very sure as to his identity. “We are friends of Red’s. Or, I am,” she says, paying little attention to her companions picking themselves up and automatically spreading out a bit behind her.

       “That’s a bold claim,” he says, eyes narrowing. Then a blinding smile splits his face and he leaps smoothly over the arm of his chair and moves further away, turning his back to them as he picks up a very familiar looking paper off his desk.. “You must have come from Auradon. I take it that it was you who sent me this mysterious note? I must confess, I have not yet been able to crack the code to read it.”

       There are a dozen instruments scattered across the desk, including one spouting a live flame which he holds the paper over and squints at.

       “Oh,” Chloe says, startled by his sudden movement. “Yes, we sent it, but it’s not actually-”

       “No, no, I love a good puzzle,” he dismisses, waving her off without ever turning his head away from his inspection. “You must let me solve it myself.”

       “But it’s blank, Sir. It doesn’t have any message,” Chloe interrupts anyway. “We sent it so we could follow it through Tulgey Wood to find the castle. You must be Maddox.”

       “Must I?” He questions, looking up and staring off into space. “Well, I suppose if you say so.” He looks down at the paper again, hums, and then tucks it into his coat as if it never held his interest at all. He sits and spins in his chair to face them fully. “Why are you here? If you truly are friends to the princess, I can’t imagine she’d send you.”

       “She didn’t,” Uma says shortly, crossing her arms unhappily.

       “She wouldn’t let you come if she knew, either…” Maddox frowns, leaning forward with clear concern. “What happened to the princess? What did Red do?”

       It’s telling that he immediately knows . His question, very clearly to Chloe, isn’t a ‘ what did Red do,’ but more of a ‘ what did Red do to herself.’ Was he the one who usually found her in the aftermath of those states? Or did she more often have to drag herself back together on her own?

       “Her mom’s visit set her off a bit. She’s okay right now, but she told me about her mom having her heart. We want to steal it. Will you help us?”

       He stares for a moment, expression unreadable. And then he says, simply, “Yes.”

…………

Chloe is, if she’s being honest, a bit bored. Not enough to crash, but enough to slouch into a seat and seriously contemplate it- if it would be worth it.

       Apparently, the Queen of Hearts keeps her collection of literal hearts, in a vault in her own chambers. She likes to keep them close. So they have to wait for her to rise for the day. Also apparently, she is always up with the dawn to hold court and give out new sentencings.

       So they are waiting for the sun to rise and Chloe is trying not to think about what kind of punishments the queen will be giving out. About how many people have suffered and died under her reign. And her mother was friends with her? It doesn’t seem possible.

       Chloe is brought out of her reverie by a quiet throat clearing, and she looks over at the odd man who her friend talked fondly of. Who would do what he could, when he could, to protect her.

       “Does Red not have my pocket watch? Why has she not used it?”

       Chloe blinks at the man who stares intently at her. She has no idea what nonsense he is spouting, and she’s about to tell him so, until she remembers the thing that seemed to destress her friend so much at the start of her meltdown.

       A large watch with a cracked face as she smashed it.

       “She said that it didn’t work.”

       “I see,” he says softly, pressing his lips together and staring off to the side.

       “Sorry, just…” Chloe starts, feeling very silly that she’s even asking, “what was it supposed to do? Why was she so upset that it wasn’t working?”

       “It was an invention of mine. It was supposed to give her the power to change things.” He stands abruptly and whisks back toward his desk where he starts scrawling something on a piece of paper.

       “What power? Change things how?” Chloe goes ignored, though, until he turns back around and offers her the folded piece of paper.

       “Would you give her this for me?”

       Chloe takes the paper and hesitates. She wants to look at it. But, that wouldn’t be right. She knows, at the very least, Maddox will do what he can to protect her roommate and not hurt her, so she carefully tucks it into her pocket.

       Any further chance of questions is halted at the sudden appearance of the sun. And when Chloe says sudden, she means like someone flicked on a light switch, and it goes from dark to light outside the window in a confusing, disorienting, blink.

       “Ah,” Maddox hums, “It’s time. Let’s go; everyone with me, please.”

       If Chloe thought wandering the castle at night would have been nerve wracking, it’s even worse during the day, because there is a higher chance of actually running across someone. However, it’s luck that Maddox knows the castle so well, and he quickly leads them into the nearest secret passage to avoid the bustling staff and few guards.

       “No one is supposed to know about these passageways,” he murmurs into the dark, “but, well, the princess showed me.”

       She tries to keep track of all the turns and place herself mentally on where they are at inside the castle, but they go down quite a few hidden stairways and then are spit out on the top floor.

       When that happens, her head feels dizzy with disorientation, and she gives it up as a lost cause. Her goal isn’t to understand the physics of Wonderland. She’s not sure a lifetime in Wonderland would help her understand the physics of it.

       “This is weird, isn’t it?” Chloe says, looking wearily around the empty hallway. There should be someone- staff- guards- flitting through it.

       “The queen does not like people coming near her rooms,” Maddox says, peeking around the corner. “Not even the staff are allowed in to clean.”

       “Is the door locked? How are we supposed to get in?”

       Maddox blinks and turns wide eyes to her. “Simply tell the door to open.”

       Uma makes a noise of protest. “He’s fucking with us.”

       “I assure you I am not,” he says. “Demand it- ‘open up!’ and it will spring open faster than it can process that you aren’t actually our queen. No one dallies with an order said like that by her highness. Also, no one here would dare impersonate her.”

       “Well then let’s get moving,” Evie chimes, stepping out from around the corner and stalking toward the big oak door. Her entire countenance seems to change as she draws closer, her heels more clipped and face falling into a scowl. “Open up,” she snaps, sharp and biting, and the door practically flies open (she wonders if it was an inspired imitation of the VK’s own mother). Evie turns, expression smoothing out, and Chloe quickly darts forward and into the queen’s chambers.

       “I’ll handle this,” Uma says, cracking her knuckles as she goes directly to the vault door that takes up half of one wall. Chloe looks around the room, taking in the decor all around her. It’s very similar to Red’s room. Except for the matter of the broken things scattered about. She would think someone else had ransacked the place before they got there if it weren’t for the fact that there is a pile of expensive jewelry laying in plain sight for any thief to find, and if she hadn’t seen their shared room look very similar just a few hours ago.

       It makes Chloe uncomfortable to see the similarities and make that comparison in her head of Red to her mom. To think that maybe the Queen of Hearts is just as wrecked- just as injured. It doesn’t make it right, the way she treats people- treats her own daughter- but she’s always thought of evil things- villains- as nothing but. They were evil because that was just who they are without conflict or regret or complicated emotions.

       Her mother had said that the Queen of Hearts wasn’t always this way. What can turn a good, kind person into what she is (how has Red not yet turned into it herself)?

       Chloe is brought out of her thoughts by the door slamming shut, and she turns to see Maddox pleading with the doorknob. Then Uma calls out in victory, “ Guys ,” as the vault swings open, and Chloe swings her attention to that.

       When she steps into the room, her heart sinks in despair. There are dozens of boxes that all look exactly the same on row after row of pillars. That is all that is in the vault.

       “Guys, they have little symbols on the locks,” Evie calls as she inspects one of the boxes, and Chloe quickly looks at the one closest to her. There is a little club with the number three etched into its center.

       “Red said that she was her mom’s wild card. Look for a joker,” Chloe says, quickly moving down the line. Suddenly, an unfamiliar voice shouts out- “Guards! Guards! Thieves!”

       Chloe’s heart jolts in fear, and her companions surge faster around her, racing down their own rows. It helps that they are all in suits and number order. But there is no joker.

       “We have to go,” Evie warns, sticking her head out the vault door and into the bedchamber. “Even if there are no guards in this hall, someone will hear it.”

       “Wait- not yet. We can’t leave without Red’s heart,” Chloe says, racing back down the rows. Maybe they missed it somehow- skipped over it- but Uma grabs her by the arm and drags her out of the vault.

       “We don’t have time for this, kid. A sacrifice is only worth it if it gets you something out of it. She won’t thank you for getting yourself killed.”

       Chloe is dragged to the door, and she whips her head around and around the room. Evie wraps her hand around the doorknob, trying to pull it open, before yelping and yanking her hand back.

       “Thieves!” the doorknob screams.

       “Well, we got further than I thought we would,” Maddox sighs resignedly, leaning back against the table.

       Chloe gasps as her eyes catch on the thing directly behind him. A box. The same size as all the ones in the vault, but that’s as far as the similarities go. Because this one’s wood is a deep red-stained with intricate gold piping and designs that shape into hearts. On the lock on the front is the same emblem that is splayed on the back of Red’s jacket.

       Chloe yanks herself out of Uma’s hold and lunges for the box. “It’s here!” she shouts, holding it delicately in her hands. As she touches it, she can feel a faint, pulsing, vibration through its wood. She knows this is it- this is Red’s. The queen kept Red’s heart on her bedside table?

       “That’s great kid, but we still need a way out of here,” Uma says, rearing her foot back and slamming it into the door. It doesn’t so much as buckle under the not-insubstantial amount of force. Chloe knows it won’t break. It’s the door to the queen’s chambers. Nothing short of a battering ram will knock it down, and even that would take several hits before denting it.

       “Window!” Evie calls, rushing to it and shoving it open.

       “Guys, I really hate heights,” Chloe moans, wondering if they could find another passageway. Oftentimes, royals will have secret entrances in and out of their chambers, if only they could find it.

       “Bet you’d hate losing your head even more,” Uma says, snatching the precious box from her hands. Before Chloe can react, she stuffs it into a red backpack she plucks off the ground, stuffs Chloe’s arms through the straps, and roughly shoves her toward the window once it’s settled on her back. “Let’s go. You too, Hat-guy.”

       Chloe catches herself on the windowsill, staring down at the ground far below, and she groans miserably as she climbs out onto the ledge.

Chapter Text

Red wakes up with a piercing headache. It’s a permeating sort of pain that overrides every other sensation or thought. She wakes up slowly, though, dragged reluctantly, horribly, from unconsciousness until she is eventually forced to concede and acknowledge that she is, regrettably, awake.

       She doesn’t remember falling asleep or the time between then and now, and if the consequences weren’t so god awful, she might consider giving herself concussions as a viable option for a sleep aid.

       The day before is a vague sort of mess in her head. Fuzzy and a bit intangible in which details do their best to evade her. But after sitting in wakefulness, some facets do come back in fractured knowledge.

       Parents’ Day. Her mom. The pocket watch. Chloe (fuck, she hit Chloe). And then the bathroom.

       She doesn’t know why she did it- why she slammed her head like that. She was just having too many thoughts and she needed them out - she didn’t know how to make them stop . She felt very out of control and she didn’t know what to do- didn’t want to lash out at Chloe again. Lashing out at herself, somewhere in the screwed up panic, seemed to be the only course of action.

       After is entirely more difficult to sort through, but by the smell and feel of the mattress under her, she’s in her roommate’s bed, so her stupid doormat friend must have forgiven her. Because of course she did.

       A heady, anxious feeling rises up in her suddenly, coiling painfully in her chest and bringing a warm wetness to her eyes. She reaches blindly out across the bed, searching for that beginning-to-be-familiar warmth, but her fingers only come across cool sheets.

       She sits up, ticking speeding up as she looks around the room. The floor is clear, clothes picked up and chairs pushed in, and Red’s own bed made and sitting empty. She vaguely recalls rage and static in her ears and ripping at things. Wanting to destroy everything about her space because it wasn’t really hers and she couldn’t keep it.

       The room now looks deep cleaned, perfect, everything in place, and there is the faint smell of lemon from the cleaner she likes to mop the floor with. She hears the sink running in the bathroom. Her instinctive unease- panic- devastation- calms as she recognizes the harsh sound invading her ears. Chloe hadn’t left. Red hadn’t scared her away after all. She’s just in the bathroom.

       She does her best to push away the lingering feelings of abandonment, but her head hurts, and the world is painful, and she feels weirdly emotional- like she might start crying at any moment.

       Slamming her head like that was definitely a mistake. This is horrible. She wishes Chloe would just hurry up and come back.

       But then the bathroom door opens, and it’s not her roommate that steps out.

       It’s a blond man with a low bun, wearing a frilly apron, rubber gloves, and carrying several cleaning supplies. He pauses upon noticing her looking at him, and a wide smile lights his face.

       “Oh, hey, you’re up!”

       Red scrambles to her feet, legs and arms getting caught in blankets more than usual.

       “Oh, you shouldn’t get out of bed,” the man says as she practically falls out of it, and then staggers as the ground swoops up quickly toward her face. Arms catch her before she hits the ground, but she immediately rips herself away, falling against the wall and using it to keep herself upright.

       “Who the fuck are you and why are you in my room?” Red snarls, pulse pounding in her head so loud she might go deaf. Her vision goes fuzzy around the edges.

       “I’m Gil! Uma asked us to watch you until she got back,” the man chirps happily, backing up a step and answering absolutely nothing in the process.

       Red’s stomach drops even further, even though her brain skitters away from any important thought or reasoning. “Where is Chloe?” Red asks next, the only thing her brain keeps spinning back to.

       “Oh, um, I don’t know if I’m allowed to answer that.”

       Alarm shoots through her. “Why the fuck not?! Where is she? She’s supposed to be here- she said- just- she’s supposed to be here- why isn’t she here- where is she?!”

       “Oh, um, don’t do that please,” he requests as tears start making hot trails down her cheeks. What the fuck , why is she crying? “Maybe you should get back in bed?”

       “Don’t touch me!” Red snaps, shoving his hands away, and then almost immediately tips over, wall or no wall. The room is spinning violently. Her stomach churns in the opposite direction.

       “Okay, sorry, I’m just going to-” he grabs her again and lifts her up, quickly depositing her onto the bed. “ Sorry ,” he apologizes again even as Red sinks her teeth into his arm so hard that she tastes blood, and then the door to the room opens.

       “Oh for fucks sake,” the new person says, drawing everyone’s attention to the door. He’s a gorgeous boy a couple years older than her, with dark hair and the bluest eyes outlined by an attractive line of kohl. He tosses a tray of eggs and toast onto Chloe’s desk with a scowl, kicking the door closed behind him. “Gil, ya dumb shit, all ye had to do was watch her for five minutes.”

       “Where is Chloe?!” Red growls, the only consistent, coherent, thought that’s able to make it through her mental fog. She almost tips over, just from sitting upright while the world spins so nauseatingly.

       “Oh shut up,” the newest boy says, “She’s fine. Had better things to do than babysit yer sorry ass, so Captain made me do it.”

       Red flinches- hard, an aching, agonizing, pain in her chest like her heart is being ripped out all over again, and her mother is poking and prodding at it while she chants foreign words and Red lay there gasping for air.

       Oh. Oh, that’s… not…

       Chloe…

       That’s fair. Good for her.

       “ Harry ,” the blond says, and kneels down next to the bed. He reaches out, putting an awkward hand on her shin, and she stares at it dully. At her teeth marks trickling blood toward the crease of his elbow. “Harry didn’t mean that. He’s just grumpy that Captain didn’t take us with her. Wonderland sounds very dangerous, you know, and he worries for her. I mean, we both do, but I know that Uma can take care of herself, and she can take care of whoever’s with her, too, so don’t worry about your, um, Chloe,” he rambles. “And if she asked us to watch out for you, you must be really important to her, too!”

       Red’s aching brain takes a long time to slowly parse through all those words, but when it does, one thing sticks out to her.

       “Wonderland?” she breathes.

       “Yeah! Her, Evie, and your roommate left last night on some mission to- oh,” he winces as the other boy hits him with a closed fist in the back of the head, “I wasn’t supposed to tell you that. Sorry.”

       Red’s breath comes suddenly shorter as pure panic rushes through her, grabbing hold of her lungs. She suddenly very clearly remembers a snippet of yesterday as she ripped through the room- the emotions that gripped her by the throat. It felt just like this.

       But before she can spiral so completely, the door opens and her vision is engulfed in blue.

       For the second time that morning, Red lunges out of bed, tripping over her own feet and nearly charging head first into the floor- only, for the second time that morning, arms catch her. They are the right arms this time- the arms she wanted around her before she woke up and after she woke up and every following moment, aching for the comfort they bring her.

       “Red,” Chloe breathes into her hair, and then after a moment of just holding her, she gasps, “What are you doing out of bed?!”

       She scoops Red nearly as easily as the blond man had, only this time Red doesn’t fight as she’s carried and deposited into the sheets, just not letting go. She had thought… She was so sure…

       She doesn’t even care that the two strangers invading their space are witnessing her weakness. They had already made her cry. She already feels humiliated and weak and vulnerable. She can’t even walk straight right now, or keep her thoughts in a neat, reasonable order. She can’t think past Chloe, Chloe, Chloe, Chloe.

       “Hey, Red? Baby? Baby, hold on for a minute, I need to talk to you,” her princess murmurs, trying to detach herself enough to draw back. Red’s breath hitches, heart thundering so loudly it’s almost like it’s in the room with them. Baby. Chloe called her Baby. She shudders. She really likes Chloe calling her that.

       The shock and pleasure of it is enough for her to loosen her hold and for Chloe to draw back.

       “You were in Wonderland?” Red croaks. “Why? How are you alive?”

       Chloe’s eyes flash with something unnamable. “We had help. Actually, we have a surprise for you.” She steps back even more, and Red would have reached for her if someone else didn’t appear in the doorway right then, gripping his hat worriedly in front of him, purple hair a mess atop his head.

       “Hello, Princess,” he says.

       “Madds,” Red frowns as he comes into the room, hesitates, and then comes to her, perching on the edge of the bed. She doesn’t even pay attention to the two other women that stop in the doorway after him. “What are you doing here?”

       “I’m a bit of a fugitive, now, I believe. Do I get a real hug this time, the reason for which is not so you can steal from me?”

       Red leans forward and hugs him, despite her confusion and worry, and then proceeds to melt against him. He smells the same as always (like his workshop- ink and grease), but she never really got to experience this activity with her mentor. She had contemplated trying to hug him before, just to see what it felt like, because she knew that he cared for her at least a little. He was probably the only one who did. But he always kept a polite physical distance unless he was sewing her together, and she didn’t want to risk it.

       Hugging him as a ploy seemed safe. If he rejected her, it wouldn’t matter, because she was just trying to get something from him anyway.

       “I’m sorry I stole from you,” Red says into his shoulder. “It didn’t work for me anyway. I tried, but it didn’t work.”

       Maddox pulls away, looking at her very softly. “Do you remember what I told you?”

       “It…” Red hesitates, face burning in shame, “takes you to the moment that can give you what your heart most desires. I’m sorry- I don’t want this! I don’t know why I-”

       “Red, calm down,” Maddox says, squeezing her hands. “The watch- it won’t work if what you want most… is just not possible. Say, for example, that you wished for a mother who loved you for who you were. Or who was kind.”

       “I don’t understand,” Red says. She didn’t wish for that. She already knew that wasn’t possible. “How do you even know? Maybe it just doesn’t work.”

       “It works. I’ve used it.”

       Red stares at him, wide-eyed, heart pounding at his guilty look. “But… what did you…”

       “I am afraid I must apologize to you, my Princess,” he says softly, eyes boring painfully into her. “I lied, in a way, when I said I had only just finished it. I built the machine years ago. See, I told you that your mother didn’t always used to be the way she is now. Something happened- something bad- to turn her into that. I wanted to stop it from happening. More than anything, I wanted to prevent her from going through the pain she did to make her who she was. Only, after I finished the machine, it didn’t work. I didn’t know why. It should have. But magic and science together is a fickle thing. It didn’t work- until my desire changed. Something that I could prevent .”

       His eyes stare at her so mournfully that her stomach turns. Because it’s her. He fixed something to do with her . He changed- something.

       “I’m so sorry, Red. I just wanted to save you. To keep you alive. But stopping you that first time, made the queen scared . And she decided that you couldn’t be trusted with your own health.”

       Chloe gasps.

       Red swallows. “And she took my heart... I was supposed to die? Like, actually die?”

       Maddox nods slowly, and Chloe climbs onto the bed, tugging Red back against her. Her empty chest aches in grief. Grief for all the experiences she could have avoided if she had just succeeded in throwing herself off the castle parapet. If Maddox hadn’t stopped her.

       “I couldn’t let you die, Red, but I didn’t know what your mother would have done in response. I told you, changing the fabric of time could have unforeseen consequences. But I still wanted to give you that choice. Because I feel mine inadvertently took your choices away from you.”

       “But how do you know that what I want isn’t possible? I don’t want to change my mother, Madds. I already know that she can’t love me. Just like I can’t love her after everything she’s done. After what she did to Chester and Ace. Maybe that makes me broken too, but I hate her. I hate her for what she’s done.”

       “Well, the other possibility is that what you want- what you really want,” he says, eyes drifting to Chloe who has buried her face in the back of Red’s neck, “you can only get right here, now, in this time.”

       “Oh,” Red breathes, leaning back. “But… I’m not… I can’t-”

       “Can we have the room, please?” Chloe asks, lifting her head and hooking her chin over Red’s shoulder. Red abruptly becomes aware of their audience in the form of her principal, the Hanover princess, and the two men who were apparently acting as her babysitter.

       Princess Evie gracefully takes a step back toward the door. “Of course. I need to go give Mal a call anyway. Boys?”

       “You can stay, if you want,” Chloe says softly to Maddox as he moves to stand from the bed.

       “Actually, I think he and I need to have a little talk about this whole time travel business,” Uma cuts in, gesturing to the door with her head. Maddox nods, touching Red reassuringly on her shoulder before following the others out. “I’ll give you the rest of the day, but in the morning, we are talking. Comprende?”

       “Thanks, Principal Uma,” Chloe says.

       “No problem, kid.” And then they are alone in the room.

       Chloe remains where she is for a moment, holding Red from behind, before shifting on the bed to face her. Her hands come up, gently touching her cheeks. “How’s your head,” she asks.

       “Hurts,” Red mumbles with a grimace, leaning into the touch. It feels like she’s been awake for days, and like a spike is being driven into the back of her skull, but her roommate’s hands somehow seem to help- seem to draw out the pain and soothe it with each stroke of her thumb over Red’s skin.

       “Have you eaten anything?”

       “I’m not really hungry.”

       “Can you try eating something anyway?”

       “Princess, why did you go to Wonderland?”

       Chloe visibly hesitates, before slowly withdrawing. Red aches at the separation, the imprint of her roommate’s fingers leaving behind burning trails over her skin. Her ticking gets faster, and so does her heart, beating against the sides of its box. It’s so loud. It’s consuming.

       Red watches, feeling dizzy, as Chloe pulls off a red backpack Red hadn’t noticed her wearing, drawing it into her lap in front of her. Then, hesitating some more, she reaches into it and pulls out a box. A familiar box, ornately decorated- a terrible box.

       Red’s heart slams against the sides of the container as she scrambles backward in the bed- instinctive panic and fear bleeding into the very tips of her fingers and toes. She hadn’t been imagining it- the sound in her ears. But why does Chloe have it? Why is it- what does she-

       Chloe reaches out, grabbing Red’s hand that has curled protectively into her body, and tugs it toward her. She wordlessly presses the box into her hand, and Red flinches. She braces for the pain- some sort of punishment or consequence- for her mother to burst through the door and start screaming.

       But she feels only the smooth wood under her fingers and Chloe’s hand cradling the back of hers, and she hesitantly reaches out with her second hand. This is her heart. She knows it intrinsically.

       A vicious, desperate, instinct rushes through her, and she yanks the box toward her chest, scrambling out of the bed and putting distance between her and the person who held it.

       Chloe had-

                    Chloe had-

       Chloe had given Red her heart back.

       …

       Oh.

       But she can’t be trusted with her heart.

       “Please,” Chloe utters softly from the bed. “It’s your choice, but please. I love you Red. Please don’t… leave?”

       Red doesn’t know how to feel. She can’t think past the pounding in her head, in her ears, in the box. “My mom says I can’t be trusted with this,” Red says almost numbly. But she’s not numb, really. If anything, she suddenly feels everything much more clearly and painfully. She can feel every inch of skin her shirt touches and the way her leather pants cling to her legs.

       “That’s not her choice,” Chloe says, still looking at Red in That Way. The soft way that Red doesn’t know how to deal with, because she wants to lean into it, accept it, desperately wants it , but there’s also the thing in her that makes her feel very uncomfortable. Because she doesn’t know what she did to earn it- she doesn’t feel that she deserves it.

       Her nails bite into the box as she tightens her hold. This is what she’s been waiting for, right? One more death and it’d finally be over. She was supposed to die originally, anyway. It was always supposed to be hers to stop. No more punishments. No more getting her heart broken.

       But that was when Wonderland was all she had ever known and all she had to look forward to. That was before Chloe- before she started caring again.

       “...I think she’s right,” Red chokes out, nail beds aching. “I think…” she stumbles forward, knees hitting the edge on the bed as she thrusts the box back into Chloe’s hands. “I think that you should hold onto this.”

       Chloe’s eyes widen. She sucks in a sharp breath, hands instinctively coming up to cradle the box, before trying to push it back. “Red, no. I can’t- you can’t give me something like this. This is a lot of trust- this is your life!”

       Red’s head hurts. She wants to curl up and go back to sleep, and she wants Chloe to hold her and be there when she wakes up. “I know. But I think,” she pulls her hands away, making Chloe have to catch the thing or let it topple onto the sheets. She catches it, hugging it protectively to her chest. “That if I can’t trust you with my heart, I’d want to die anyway. So. Might as well.”

       Very abruptly, without warning, tears leap into her roommate’s eyes and start streaming down her cheeks. Red feels that instant panic and discomfort she felt the last time she made her friend cry, and she feels guilty, but also lost , because she doesn’t know what she did or how to fix it.

       She hadn’t meant to make her cry. “Oh, I didn’t- are you- I’m sorry -”

       “Shut up and get over here,” Chloe says wetly, clutching Red’s heart in one hand and using the other to drag Red across the bed by her sleeve.

       When her roommate deems that she’s close enough, she lets go of Red’s sleeve and lifts her hand back to Red’s face. Her breath catches as Chloe runs a thumb over her bottom lip, eyes pointedly fixed there.

       “I’m going to kiss you now. So, you better tell me if you don’t want that.”

       Chloe waits a moment, eyes still locked on Red’s lips, and Red doesn’t know what to do, what to think, what to say. She doesn’t know how she feels except that her heart is everywhere except her chest.

       Then Chloe closes the distance and very softly kisses Red. It’s only for a moment, but when she pulls away, Red feels branded. Heat rushes to her face violently and painfully, and it gives her a head rush as the room spins.

       “Was that okay?” Chloe asks, eyes still lingering, like she’s thinking about doing it again. Red finds herself thinking that she wouldn’t mind her doing it again. She doesn’t feel like she can say that, though, because her tongue feels glued to the roof of her mouth. Red nods a bit mechanically. Chloe’s eyes finally flicker up to meet hers, searchingly. “Do you need to lie down?”

       Red hesitates, and nods again. She doesn’t know how to ask for another kiss. Maybe it was only supposed to be a one time thing.

       Chloe pulls back the covers, silently urging Red to climb back in, and Chloe joins her once she’s settled, never once letting go of the box with Red’s heart. It joins them in the bed, carefully cradled in one arm while the other goes under Red’s head and around her back.

       And Red is… Red doesn’t know what she feels. Her insides feel scrambled and chaotic just like her head, and sorting through the jumbled messes seem daunting and impossible. She actually feels a bit nauseous. But… Chloe being there, arms around her, scent in her nose with every inhale- she thinks she makes it slightly better. So maybe it's just the head injury.

Chapter Text

When Red wakes up, her mind is already thinking about the kiss. The memory seems sharper now, than when it was happening. Chloe’s hands on her face. The way her eyes were dark and stormy, determinedly fixed. The feel of her thumb, and then her lips, and her scent. She tasted like cotton candy. Chloe gave her cotton candy once. Red adored it.

       Not more than chocolate, but there was something about the taste and the texture and the way it dissolved on her tongue that sent a thrill from the tips of her ears to the tips of her toes.

       Now that Red’s head seems a bit less scrambled, she can acknowledge that kissing Chloe was a bit like that. That still doesn’t seem totally right, but it's the closest thing she can think to compare it to. Red just knows she wants to do it again. Right now.

       Would it feel the same way she remembers it? Is she even remembering it correctly? Part of the memory seems hazy and a bit unreal.

       She can feel her heart speeding up as she thinks about it. She can hear it, too. Because Chloe stole her heart from her mom (her mother would never give it up willingly). She wonders how Chloe is even alive. And then she’s thinking about kissing her again.

       Was it a one time thing? Is it a thing that friends do? She’s pretty sure kissing is a thing that more-than-friends do. She almost kissed Ace, once, but she can’t remember if it was because she liked him or because her mother would have hated it. She did a lot of things just because her mother would have hated it, and she can’t… she can’t even remember his face. She can’t remember Chester’s, either. She’s always avoided thinking about them at all, because all she can remember is the piercing pain of them being gone and it was her fault .

       The box holding her heart is stabbing her in the arm, and Red reaches out to shift it. Chloe hadn’t let it go all night. It’s still cradled between them, and Red stares at it for a moment. And the longer she stares at it, the larger the wiggly aversion to it grows in her stomach.

       She doesn’t like that box. But… it’s also always been in her mother’s hands until now. Whenever she’s seen it, pain was always to follow. And compliance. She knows this is supposed to be freedom.

       Chloe tried to give it to her . Chloe also asked her not to go. No matter what she’s feeling now, she knows that if she has that box, she will inevitably try to. Not just leave. Die. She doesn’t know that she wants to do that anymore, most of the time. Not if she gets to stay out here in Auradon. Stay with Chloe.

       So Chloe should probably just hold onto the box, so she doesn’t do something stupid when she does get in a leaving mood. Besides, Red really doesn’t like that box. She’d probably hide it somewhere so she wouldn’t have to look at it, and then forget where she put it. Her mother says she’s careless like that.

       She feels fingers carding through her hair and trailing over her shoulders and arms, and she tilts her head back. She’s met with warm brown eyes that twist her brain and emotions into a mess, so she lowers her eyes slightly, but then she’s staring at pink lips and she’s thinking about kissing Chloe again.

       “Morning,” Chloe hums, voice a bit rough first thing after waking up, and Red shivers at the sound. “How’s your head?”

       Red doesn’t really feel like talking, and her head still hurts even if it’s better than yesterday, so she just hums in a vague, noncommittal way. Chloe doesn’t get angry when Red doesn’t verbally answer her, even when she can.

       Chloe ducks toward Red and presses her lips to her head. Heat floods her, and maybe it’s good that she didn’t get a kiss like yesterday, because her insides twist in a nervousness that is painful, and she buries her hot face in her friend’s shirt.

       Chloe laughs, chest jolting under Red’s forehead. “Is this a good reaction or a bad one?” She asks, hand passing up and down Red’s back a little more firmly, and it feels better than the feather light one from before.

       “Good,” Red mumbles. She doesn’t want Chloe to think she can never do it again.

       “Good,” Chloe hums.

       They lay there for a while, just cuddling, and enough time passes that Red’s face cools off and she actually feels like she’s about to drift off again. But then Chloe’s quiet voice cuts through the dark room. She’s been playing with Red’s fingers for the past little while.

       “You have magic, right?”

       Red doesn’t know what time it is, but there isn’t any daylight to leak through the curtains yet. With the past few weeks, it could be anywhere from eight at night to five in the morning. Auradon is weird with its slow and ever changing sunrises and sunsets. She wishes the morning would never come. Even with her lingering headache, she is very… content. She’s never felt that way before coming to Auradon.

       “Yeah.” She flexes her hand, letting the magic spill out into soft sparkles that light the room in shades of pink. They take the shapes of hearts before fizzling out. “It’s a bit explosive. Don’t really know what purpose it’s for.”

       “Purpose?” Chloe asks, eyes fixed on Red’s hands as she traces them. Red watches her, her relaxed face, the shadows cast by her eyelashes with every blink. Red’s eyes linger on her lips again, until Chloe lifts her questioning gaze and catches her before she can quickly look away.

       “Uh-huh. My mom’s magic is transformational. Like her cards and her soldiers. Turning one thing into another. So she has an affinity for being able to do other things in that category.” Like turning boy to cat. Turning boy into card soldier.

       “Hey, where did you go?” A hand touches Red’s face, gently tilting her head back with a finger under her chin. As their eyes meet, Red gets caught in them again, her previous thoughts evaporating.

       She feels like this is some sort of magic, like her very soul is being drawn to Chloe. Maybe it’s because she currently holds her heart. But while Red could never truly betray her mother while she held the organ- while she was forced to obey- she never felt this toward her queen. Adoration. Reverent.

       It terrifies Red, because she’s scared to lose it. She’s scared she’ll mess it up . She’s scared she won’t be good enough. She still doesn’t know what she did to gain Chloe’s affection, and she feels like it’s just hanging over her, waiting for her to relax her guard and destroy her forever.

       A thumb slides up and over her cheek, bringing her back to the moment. To Chloe’s expectant gaze observing her, her warm breath fanning against her chin. Those lips that already touched hers once.

       “How do you know you love me?” Red finds herself asking.

       “I-” Chloe starts, and then almost immediately stops as her brows furrow. “I just do.” Her eyes flick back and forth between Red’s for a moment, and when Red only waits for more, they lift to the ceiling as she thinks, rolling onto her back slightly. “Hm.. It’s.. a feeling. In my whole body, almost. It aches a bit, but I don’t want it to stop. I always want to be around you. Almost every thought comes back to you. Wondering how you’re feeling, what you’re thinking, hoping that you’re okay. I just want you to always be okay. To be happy. In general, but I also want to be the one to make you happy.”

       Red stares, heart beating too fast. That’s love? This right now? What she’s feeling? She had thought, maybe, but she didn’t really think… “ Why do you love me?” she blurts. If it’s so easy to love someone, how easy is it to lose that?

       Chloe’s eyes return to her, unbelievably soft. Because she loves her. Because she wants her to be happy. Red aches that, most of the time, she can’t give that to her. Can she even be happy? Will Chloe leave if she can’t?

       “Because you’re Red,” she says warmly, like it’s that simple. Like it was inevitable, when, in Red’s experience, no one has ever loved her. Her mother certainly never has- not that she’s ever claimed differently. Since she was little, she’s been told that love wasn’t it, and particularly pertaining to Red, for Red and in regards to Red, it didn’t exist at all.

       Chloe lifts Red’s hand to her lips, softly kissing her knuckles and never shying away from eye contact, even when Red finds it hard. “You’re so strong. But not when you are pretending to be by being mean and snapping to keep everyone at a distance. It’s when you do let your guard down, and it’s the most amazing thing, because I know how hard it is for you, how scary. And you are nice , no matter how hard you try to convince everyone, convince me, that you aren’t, and maybe you don’t know how to show it the normal way, but I see it. If people paid attention, they’d see it too. Like- you saw me crying, and your response was to stand guard to keep anyone else from seeing. Because you were taught that people would use that against me. We weren’t even friends at that point, and you still tried to protect me.

       You bring me sweets because you love them so much and you just want to share the way they make you feel. You always try to share the things that make you happy, and I wish you had more things in your life before now to make you happy, because they are such small things to me, but I’ve had them all my life and you haven’t. I wish you did. I wish I knew you sooner. I wish I could have loved you sooner, because you deserve it, Red. You deserve everything good in life- I swear to you that I’ll try to give you everything good in life.”

       Red blinks rapidly, not even able to see Chloe’s stupid, earnest, face past the blur of tears that are welling up and spilling over, and Red’s emotions are officially good and fucked. She doesn’t know how she’ll ever be able to wrangle them now.

       Chloe really thinks all that of her? She’s noticed all that?

       Red fumbles her hands against Chloe’s face, unable to see, so she uses touch to verify that Chloe is real- that this isn’t a fucked up dream that will end with her mother bursting in. Her fingers slide over lips, which has Chloe gently biting at them, and the want is nearly overwhelming.

       “Can I- c-can I-” Red stutters over the feel of her ticking in her throat, her heart beating against its box.

       “What is it, baby,” Chloe murmurs, nips turning into kisses against her fingertips as she nuzzles into Red’s hands.

       “K-kiss you- I want to-” she’s cut off by Chloe eagerly leaning forward, kissing her once, twice, and then her hand slides up and into Red’s hair and just kind of holds her there for a third, longer, kiss that Red accidentally sobs into.

       Red doesn’t want to pull back. She doesn’t want to stop kissing Chloe, but it’s hard to breathe through her nose, so she has to. “Sorry,” she apologizes, gasping through her mouth and using her sleeve to keep from blowing snot bubbles out her nose, “Just- sorry-”

       Chloe keeps petting her cheeks and hair, not shying away from Red’s stupid leaking face. She presses their foreheads together, and Red covers her mouth to keep from coughing on her, too, as she chokes on another loud, convulsive gasp.

       “M’ not. It’s okay, baby. Love you. I’m not going anywhere.”

       Red finds that… she might even believe her.

………………

Red feels… weird as they make their way to the principal’s office. Light. That might have to do a lot with Chloe’s hand that is tangled with hers and the way their shoulders keep brushing. She doesn’t even care that anyone walking by can see them this way. Red, attached. Red, happy. And she is, undeniably, happy. She’s glad she can give that to Chloe. She’s never thought of her own happiness as a gift before. No one has ever asked for it before.

       She leans over and bites Chloe on the shoulder. She startles, and then gifts Red with an affectionate smile, leaning further against her.

       In Chloe’s other arm, is the red backpack that contains the container of Red’s heart. She clutches it close to her chest, unwilling to leave it behind in their room and reluctant to just have it bouncing against her back.

       Red has never felt the desire to purr before. She can’t even purr, so she’s left just humming a senseless tune that feels good in her throat if maybe not really in her head. She’s getting used to the dull pulsing pain in her head, now, though, so it goes largely unacknowledged.

       When they actually get to their principal’s door, some of Red’s contentment shrivels, and she finds herself tugging her hand out of her roommate’s. Chloe doesn’t say anything, only using her now freed hand to hold onto the backpack even more securely. She knocks before Red can just push into the room.

       “Come in,” a voice calls from the other side.

Chapter Text

“You just can’t help yourself, can you?”

       Uma doesn’t bother narrowing her eyes at the queen invading her office. Once upon a time, anything coming out of the fae’s mouth would be an insult aimed at hitting Uma’s biggest insecurities. Now there is no hidden malice. Only amusement and a bit of exasperation. It’s even a bit fond, if she wanted to look a little deeper into it.

       The queen perches on the edge of Uma’s desk, a mix of Auradon and Isle. Her frilly lavender dress looks straight out of a royal magazine, but there is no mistaking the origins of the heavy boots and leather jacket. Mal has changed a lot since they were kids, and angry, and desperate for acknowledgement from their parents. Uma didn’t like Mal back then. Her need for approval always rang a little too loud, hurt what was hers a little too much. But she’s glad to know her, the Mal she is now, now.

       The calm, self-assured queen who no longer hides behind fear or looks to others, except for those who have her trust, for approval.

       “You know me,” Uma drawls, spinning a blade absently through her fingers.

       “What’s she like- Red?”

       Uma frowns thoughtfully. “A bit like you, back on the Isle, without the social awareness of catering your temper to the situation. She’s all anger all the time. Doesn’t know what to do with that temper, so it explodes.”

       “Has she made any progress? Any attachments- to anything- since she’s been here?”

       “How about a princess,” Uma says, wicked smile twisting her lips enough to bare her teeth. Because despite how clear the Charming girl’s affection is for the Wonderland princess, Red’s is just as glaring to someone used to looking past faces of bravado.

       Mal grins in return before turning more serious. “Is she a threat?”

       Uma shoots her friend a sharp look, a swell of protectiveness rising in her. The initial instinct subsides some at the open look on the fae’s face, not judgemental or critical. It’s just a question, sincerely asking Uma’s thoughts on the situation.

       “Less than you were first coming over,” Uma deadpans. “Especially now that she’s not being magically controlled. Fuck, the next time someone says that someone has their heart, I’m going to have to at least verify if they meant it literally or not,” Uma shakes her head in exasperation. Hindsight makes everything a bit clearer. Mal moves her leg, bumping it against Uma’s propped foot to get her to continue. “I get the impression that she couldn’t care less about her mother’s approval, and she just wants to escape her.”

       “And this?” she asks, lifting the fucking time machine , with the shattered watchface and several missing parts. Harry grumpily had to fish it out of the trash Gil had gathered during his cleaning spree of the room.

       “Useless, now, though I suppose the inventor could always make another one.”

       “Fucking time travel,” Mal sighs, running a hand through her hair as the broken watch dangles from her fingers. “Probably for the best that it’s broken…” she says, absently running a thumb over a jagged edge. “What would you change?”

       Uma, because she respects her friend, her queen, actually allows herself to consider it again. But she comes to the same conclusion as she did last night, when she was trying her hardest to fall asleep.

       “Nothing.”

       Mal glances up at that, and then tucks the watch away into an inside pocket of her jacket with a sigh. “You are a far better person than I ever was. There is so much I would change.”

       Uma allows her lips to twist into a sharp, teasing smile. “Did you just finally admit that I’m better than you?”

       Mal snorts, nudging her again with her leg. “Shut up.” Her smile, again, fades after a moment, turning to something more sincere. “You’re doing an amazing job, Uma. I knew you were the right one for it.”

       Discomfort turns in her stomach at the genuine compliment, but she knows that it’s just lingering trauma from the Isle, so she works to acknowledge that part of her, and then gently pushes it away.

       She ignores entirely the other old part of her that, after yearning for so long for Mal’s recognition, feels vindicated. Because part of why Uma hated her as a kid was because she had dismissed Uma just like everyone else had, and just like with her mom, no matter how much she hated her, she also desperately wanted to earn that recognition.

       The moment is broken as Evie and the boys come in through a secret passage, laden down with enough food to feed an entire crew. They deposit the food onto the table in the sitting area, Harry wearing his usual grumpy frown at being asked to do menial tasks.

       Evie brightens at spotting the queen, and quickly comes around the desk to embrace her. “You made it.”

       The dragon’s eyes close as she gives a happy rumble and noses against her princess’s neck. “How was your adventure?” she purrs.

       “Rather boring, honestly. Though the talking door knobs were an experience,” Evie says, eyes soft as she cards her fingers through the dragon’s hair, content to let her nuzzle against her.

       Uma rolls her eyes at the display. It’s a miracle the rest of Auradon hasn’t caught on yet.

       “Thank you, boys,” Uma says, looking past the two girls to her own two boys patiently waiting for her. The bandage on her second mate’s arm is equally amusing and irritating- the irritation solely because it was Gil. It would have been entirely more hilarious if the Wonderland princess took a chunk out of Harry. At least Uma knows he would have deserved it, the shit.  “You can go; I’ll fill you in later,” she dismisses them.

       Their reactions are predictable. “Aye, captain!” Gil says, happy to please, while Harry grows grumpier.

       Uma stands from her chair and crosses the room in quick strides until she’s standing before them. “Hey.” She doesn’t even pause as she grabs her first mate by the chin and pulls his face toward hers. His scowl gets more prominent as she stares into his eyes. “This isn’t me not needing you anymore. Red will just be more likely to talk with less people. Savvy?”

       “Aye, captain,” Harry pouts.

       “Good.” Uma kisses him as punishment for his attitude, watching him get flustered because of the audience, and then shoves him lightly away. “Then go. I’ll fill you in later,” she repeats. Gil happily tugs him back out of the room, bookcase sliding back into place, just as there is a knock on the door.

       Uma glances behind her to see that the two girls have separated, and then calls out, “Come in.”

       She examines the two teenagers as they come into the room, and is surprised to see the Charming girl still clutching the backpack, knuckles white like she’s afraid someone might try to rip it away from her. Red, on the other hand, looks much more put together and present. She’s wearing her usual makeup and clothes, and her eyes immediately zero in on the food.

       The food was brought for them, but Uma still raises a brow in surprise as Red descends on the selection and unhesitatingly starts stuffing her face.

       “Help yourself,” Uma intones dryly, after the fact.

       “Sorry,” Chloe says, grimacing apologetically as she looks at her roommate. “It’s been at least two days since she’s eaten anything.”

       “Been a while since you’ve had anything, too, hasn’t it?” Uma asks, gesturing to the table. “Have a seat. Make sure you get something, too.”

       Red pauses in her perusing, and then reaches for another plate that she scoops some eggs and toast onto. As Chloe settles onto the couch, backpack cradled in her lap, Red pushes the plate into her hands, and then a fork. She gives a small humming sound of satisfaction before going back to her own plate.

       It’s impossible to miss Charming’s responding look of gooey fondness. It’s disgusting. But, fuck her, she’s actually rooting for these two.

       Red finally glances up as she reaches for a chocolate donut, and then freezes, eyes locked on the dragon queen. “You’re back,” Red says, face turning impassive as she sets the donut onto her roommate’s plate, who hadn’t even started on her eggs.

       Charming’s eyes widen at spotting the queen, and she makes to leap to her feet before Mal waves her off.

       “Hello, Red,” Mal says, coming from around the desk and perching on the arm of one of the cushy chairs that came with the office. “How are you feeling?”

       “Right as left and left as right,” Red says, and after being in Wonderland and turning down a left hallway but ending up on the opposite side of the castle than she thought, Uma doesn’t know what that is supposed to mean.

       “Okay, enough small talk,” Uma breaks in, settling in the same chair Mal is perched on. “Did your princess fill you in?”

       “Not really. Kind of got stalled on the whole ‘you stole my heart from my mom’ thing. How mad is she? Off with your head where you stand, mad, or lock you in a dungeon until she can come up with something worse, mad?”

       Fuck, she really needs to find this kid a real therapist. “With Maddox’s help, we made it in and out before she even realized it was gone.” Sort of.

       Her hands tighten around her plate. “Where is Maddox?”

       “I have him set up in a spare set of teacher’s rooms. Students aren’t allowed in faculty housing, just as faculty aren’t allowed in students’ dorms outside of an emergency, so do your best not to get caught when visiting him.”

       Red’s lips twitch.

       Uma finds it amusing that Chloe looks like she wants to argue that for a moment, before her mouth snaps shut again as she tightens her hold on the backpack. If Red really gave it to the princess to hang on to, Uma is going to beat her own head against the wall, because she doesn’t know if that’s trauma or some next level fairytale romance bullshit.

       She has to force herself to refocus. “What do you know of your mom’s plans for Auradon, kid?”

       “That she wants it,” she replies almost too easily. She offers it up without hesitation or talk-arounds. “She was going to take everyone hostage at the Welcome Ceremony but you-” she nods her head at the fae, “and the King weren’t here. She wants your heads, and she’ll take anyone else’s who will try to stop her.” She turns her eyes pleadingly to her roommate. “She hates your mom for some reason. She wants your head, too. To make her suffer.”

       “Hey,” Uma snaps her fingers before the conversation can derail. “Stay on track. What resources does she have? What means? Since she didn’t do it at the beginning of the year, what’s the new plan?”

       She becomes quiet, then, eyes downcast as she tugs at a strand of hair.

       “Graduation,” Evie says softly from Mal’s other side. Spine straight, hands folded. “Right?”

       “Sorry,” Red utters, tugging a little harder on her hair. She’s stopped a moment later by Charming pulling her hand away and threading their fingers together.

       Uma doesn’t know what happened with that little exchange- she hadn’t even known the two princesses had talked, but she can always get that information later.

       “It’s okay,” Evie soothes gently. “What else?”

       Red looks entirely miserable as she shifts away from Chloe, tugging her hands toward herself. “Um, Dizzy.” Charming inhales sharply in surprise. “She probably shouldn’t be there. Or you. Or… anyone the King and Queen care about. Caring is… what she’ll use to hurt you. Trap you. Best not to care about anything.” And doesn’t that explain everything about Red’s behavior.

       Red narrows her eyes at the bookshelves surrounding them. “Within my mom’s Crimson Army, she has an elite deck that is… impossible to stop. They aren’t being controlled. They are fiercely loyal even before my mother takes their hearts, and then they can’t be killed either. They can feel pain, they just… won’t stop.” She lifts her hand to her mouth and starts chewing on her fingers. And not lightly, either. Hard enough to leave indents and marks for the next several hours.

       “Do they have accelerated healing?”

       “I guess so, but not enough to matter during a battle,” Red says, the hand not between her teeth coming up to rub at her throat. “Took about four weeks, after losing my head, to be able to get out of bed. That one,” Red grimaces, nails turning biting into the skin of her neck, “takes the longest to heal, I think.”

       Charming slides across the couch, trying to take Red’s hand again. She doesn’t even seem to notice the purpose of the princess’ redirection. “But you can just… not invite her back, right? She can’t get through without an invitation.”

       “That’s right,” Uma confirms, but she twists her knife between her fingers and thinks about that first invitation that let them into Wonderland. The one that wasn’t addressed to anyone in particular but still floated off toward the castle. Still would act as a two-way key. The chances of it falling into the Queen’s hands and her actually knowing what it is is small, but not impossible. It’s a loose end. Uma hates loose ends.

       They always come back to bite her.

       “Do you have any questions for us?”

       Red purses her lips, and then her face falls into the mask that’s been absent since Parents Day. The one of utter disinterest, like she couldn’t care less about the happenings going on. “I’m not a VK. Not like you all. I fall under no kingdom in your united nations. My mother will never let me stay if she can’t also come over. When should I expect to be sent back?”

       “Red, no,” Chloe immediately protests, brows furrowed, and then turns a glare to Uma.

       “Do you want to go back to Wonderland?” Mal asks, face inscrutable, but Uma knows Mal. She knows that the fae isn’t as unaffected as she appears, just like she knows Red isn’t, either.

       “Of course she doesn’t,” Chloe hisses, clutching onto Red even tighter, almost crawling into her lap.

       “I need Red to say it,” Mal says, gaze not leaving the Wonderland princess. “Do you want to go back to Wonderland?”

       Chloe immediately turns her pleading gaze on her roommate. “Red, please.”

       Red’s mask wavers, jaw clenching. And Uma wonders if she’ll admit it. She’s good as admitted that caring is dangerous . It gives people the power, the knowledge, in how to hurt you.

       Mal won’t actually send her back, but she needs this confirmation to keep Red in Auradon legally. Otherwise, she’ll probably have Uma and her crew kidnap her. Uma hopes she doesn’t have to become the ‘villain’ again, but she will if she has to. At least she has the crown on her side this time, at least in the shadows.

       But then Red breaks, and a soft little, “No,” falls past her lips. And she can’t pretend that she doesn’t want this anymore. Not now that she’s admitted it.

       “Okay then,” Mal says, expression not twitching. “You are now placed under sanctuary for the remainder of your time at Auradon Prep, at which point the Auradon council will review your case and, so long as you are not charged with a major crime, offer you citizenship.”

       Uma can’t help smiling at the stunned look frozen on the Wonderland princess’ face as Charming squeaks and tackles her in a painfully tight looking hug.

       She remembers that feeling. The expectation of getting screwed over, and then just… not. Oh, she knows Red will talk herself into circles later, convince herself there is another shoe waiting to drop, but when it doesn’t, that will be everything, too.

       After watching the girls for a moment, Mal stands up, and Uma doesn’t know if she realizes it or not, but her hand finds Evie’s. “If you’ll excuse me, I have some calls to make to update them of the situation,” she says, and then guides Evie to the portal key she installed in Uma’s office in case of emergencies. They are gone in a flash, leaving Uma alone with her two most troublesome (thought unquestioningly favorite) students.

       “Alright, you have the rest of the day to do that- elsewhere. Red, if your head is hurting too badly tomorrow or the rest of the week, your teachers will know that you can step out of class, so don’t be afraid to , okay? Now get out of here. And take this food with you.”

       Uma watches the girls collect the trash and the remainder of the food, but Red pauses just before leaving. She hesitates in the doorway. “Sorry for biting your… stooge.”

       “Not a stooge,” Uma resists laughing outright. Gil wouldn’t care, but she can just imagine Harry’s furious indignation on his behalf. “But I appreciate the sentiment.”

       Red nods awkwardly, and then pulls the door shut behind her, leaving Uma alone in her office with only the quiet. It’s strange. It’s not the same kind of quiet as being deep underwater. It’s echoing and hollow. She pushes to her feet to go looking for her boys.

Chapter Text

Chloe didn’t want to leave Red- to leave her alone in their room after everything that happened. But she also doesn’t want to smother her. She understands that sometimes she just has to give people the space to process things without hovering.

       Distracting is only good in the short term. Then it needs to be worked through.

       Like the issues with Jada. Light, she really doesn’t want to deal with this. But she needs to if she wants to keep her friend. And she does. She and Jada have been friends since primary, and Jada has always kind of taken up the protector role over Chloe, because Chloe always wanted to please everyone and sometimes people took advantage of that. It’s easy for Chloe to stand up for herself when someone is being obviously, intentionally rude or mean, but when they aren’t… it’s very hard for Chloe to say no, even when she didn’t have the time or energy- so Jada said it for her. And maybe this, with Red, is what Jada thought it was. Another time Chloe couldn’t say no. And Chloe drew her sword on her.

       Chloe doesn’t regret her choice. She regrets having to make it. She doesn’t want to lose her oldest friend- the one who has always stood beside her and talked her down many times through the years when Chloe got it into her head that she was going to fail a test, or disappoint someone, or not live up to the massive legacy of her parents.

       Strangely, since Red came into her life, those anxieties have almost all but ceased.

       Chloe clutches onto the backpack containing Red’s heart, because she doesn’t know what else to do with it. It doesn’t feel right just letting it lay around somewhere, or let it hang it off her back like it’s her homework. She’s going to have to figure something out for tomorrow, because she knows she can’t just carry it around everywhere. That seems just as dangerous as putting it on her bedside table. So Chloe clings to the backpack for now, and knocks on her friend’s door.

       Chloe’s heart races as it opens. Jada stares out at her, face impassive.

       “Hey,” Chloe says softly, swallowing. “Can we talk?”

       She’s angry at Chloe, she can tell. And hurt. The folded arms and closed off expression is significant. But she still opens the door wider and lets Chloe in.

       She looks around quickly, making sure Jada’s roommate is gone. She is. She’s hardly come back to her room this year, Chloe knows, since she started getting serious with her boyfriend.

       Chloe goes to the bed and climbs on top- like they are about to have a sleepover, rather than anything serious. Jada joins her a moment later, settling across from her on folded legs. “Are you here to apologize?”

       “No,” Chloe says.

       “Then what do you want? Because you’re clearly not going to listen to me, and I don’t want to just stand by and watch you get hurt. Like, what the fuck is with all those scratches on your face? Did she do that?”

       Chloe’s hand lifts in surprise, touching her face. She had forgotten all about them. They hardly seem to matter.

       “No. I… stop blaming her for my choices. I just want you to listen, okay? I want you to understand.”

       “Then make me understand.”

       Chloe hesitates with that. She wants to explain. Only, it’s… hard to figure out how to do that without going into the details she knows Red would hate for everyone to know.

       “You… know how a lot of VKs acted out when they first came over? They were mean and defensive and didn’t trust anyone? It’s all a front, Jay. The Red that you see, isn’t the one who exists when no one else is around. The anger, her snapping, that’s how she reacts to stress. And everyone around her is a threat. Think about it. She doesn’t go out of her way to be mean. It’s all reactionary.”

       “She threw a bowl of cereal at me,” Jada argues.

       “You were being an ass,” Chloe bluntly points out.

       She startles at Chloe’s choice of words, momentarily surprised, then narrows her eyes. “She bit a kid hard enough to make him bleed.”

       “He grabbed her shoulder.”

       “She wouldn’t let Nicole go to the bathroom,” she immediately shoots off next.

       A flush races up Chloe’s cheeks to that one, and she tugs embarrassedly at her sleeves. “That was the day Shane confessed to me. I was in there crying, and she found me, and she kept anyone else from seeing. She was taught that showing any weakness at all makes people target you, and she didn’t want me to get targeted.”

       Jada frowns. “I didn’t know you cried.”

       “Because afterward, she pulled me back into the bathroom and fixed my makeup for me. And then she basically told me that she’s not allowed to have friends. That if she ends up caring for anyone, her mom punishes her by hurting them. Her mom… isn’t nice to her just because she’s her daughter.”

       “That’s…” Jada falters, brows furrowing. “That doesn’t excuse her hitting you.”

       “No,” Chloe agrees. “It wouldn’t- if she ever hit me for real. But I told you before that that was my fault. Red gets… these episodes sometimes, where she panics and can’t really think or control herself. Her brain shuts down and she kind of just reacts on instinct. Normally I can get her to calm down, but that time- it was bad. She tried to tell me- she told me not to touch her- but I didn’t listen.”

       “That wasn’t a panic attack. I’ve seen panic attacks before- I’ve dealt with your panic attacks before- and that wasn’t it.”

       “Maybe,” Chloe agrees again. “Does it matter what it’s called? She was melting down. That’s why I needed you to leave. You seeing all that would not have helped her come out of it, especially with you confirming everything that’s already circling in her head. She doesn’t want to be like her mom.”

       Jada looks a bit worried, now, which relieves Chloe. She’s listening. Jada isn’t bad, she’s just protective and leaps to conclusions.

       “Is she okay?” she asks.

       “She is now,” Chloe says, cradling the fabric of her backpack. Red is under sanctuary, and Chloe has her heart. Red is safe, now.

       “Does she… you know, hurt herself? It’s just, you were really freaked out. You drew a frickin’ sword on me, Chlo.”

       “I’m not going to talk to you about that stuff, Jada,” Chloe says firmly. The other stuff was general enough, or to do with Chloe in some way. She knows instinctively that Red’s scars are not on the table for discussion with anyone except Red, or maybe an adult. Like principal Uma, or Evie, or Chloe’s mom.

       Jada’s face drops anyway, though, at being shut down. At Chloe not denying it, because that would be lying. “Crap.” She puts her face in her hands in misery. “And I made it worse.”

       “Yeah.” Chloe isn’t going to sugar coat it. Jada leaping to conclusions, no matter how well intentioned, hurt someone. And Chloe knows Jada; Jada wouldn’t want comforting reassurances.

       “And you’re okay dealing with all of this?” Jada asks, looking up at her searchingly. “Because, shit, this is a lot. You’re really okay dealing with all this? Does anyone else know?”

       “Yeah, I want to do this. Principal Uma pretty much knows everything after Friday. A lot of things came out because of Parent’s Day, and it sucks, but it’s a good thing.”

       “I’m… glad,” Jada says, and then just kind of looks at Chloe again. “Are we okay?”

       “Yeah, Jay,” Chloe sighs. “We’re okay.”

       Jada stares for a moment, a contemplative curiosity. Then she says, “I know asking you this might be silly, considering you didn’t know Shane liked you until he told you to your face, but was Amerie right when she was saying that Red had feelings for you?”

       Amerie’s claims were never so wholesome as ‘Red has feelings.’ It was, ‘whipped,’ or ‘down bad,’ or ‘shit, Chlo, I think I messed up. I might have teased your girl about putting a rose in your locker and I think she thinks I was laughing at her feelings. I think she was trying to confess, so, either you're welcome? or, so sorry.’

       Chloe knew that Red wasn’t trying to confess anything. She doesn’t realize that flowers- particularly roses- are a romantic symbol in Auradon, and it was more than likely another little token she had been trying to give Chloe, and then got embarrassed about being caught.

       She was maybe a bit mope-y until Chloe cuddled her into unconsciousness.

       But does Red have feelings for her?

       Chloe feels the heat flood her face as she thinks about early this morning. About the couple kisses they shared, and Red’s overwhelmed tears. Red gave Chloe her literal heart, for Merlin’s sake. Maybe she hadn’t meant the gesture to be romantic, but everything after that… Chloe feels pretty safe saying Red has some sort of non-friendship emotions toward her.

       “Don’t tease her about it. Don’t even try to talk to her about it. She… wouldn’t react well. She tried very hard not to care about me at all, and she still isolates herself when she starts thinking too much about what her mom would do if she found out.”

       “So it doesn’t bother you at all?”

       “Oh,” Chloe says, surprised as she suddenly understands that her friend hasn’t realized it yet. She finds that very strange, because Jada has always spotted Chloe’s crushes long before Chloe realized that was what they were. But maybe she was too anti Red to spot it this time around. So Chloe admits, “I’m hopelessly in love with her.”

       “In love ?” she sputters, rearing back in surprise, and then lunging forward to grasp Chloe’s arms tightly. “Chloe, what the frick- in love ?! When the hades did that happen?”

       Chloe flushes at the big, exaggerated reaction. She’s squealed and gossiped about crushes before, but it’s been so long since she recognized her feelings for Red, and it’s long since moved past something that feels like mere infatuation, that she didn’t expect the sudden change into ‘girl talk.’

       “Jeez, I don’t know, Jay,” Chloe confesses, inexplicably embarrassed as she tries to think back and put a single moment to something that she feels like has never not existed. “I think it happened when she and Rose hissed at each other…” she says, remembering how her whole body lit in pleasure watching one scarred cat react to the other. And then almost immediately, another memory hits her, just as warm and consuming. “Oh, or the first time she sought me out for cuddles all on her own…” And then another. “Or maybe the first time she brought me a brownie.” Chloe reaches up, rubbing at her warm cheeks as a dozen more float around her memories, and she gives up trying to place a moment. “Actually… I don’t know when it happened.” It’s every moment. 

       “Oh, I-” Jada blinks in shock, eyes flicking across Chloe’s face. “How did I miss this? Are you, I mean, are you guys a thing, then, or…”

       “I don’t really want to talk about it?” Chloe requests. “I think we’re something, but it’s going to be a while until we figure it out. And I don’t want to push for anything or put a label on it. I kind of just want it to happen on its own without… outside influences. So if you could help me to get Amerie to back off, too, that would be great.”

       “Sure,” she says, still looking at Chloe oddly. It’s… hard to explain the look. An open confusion and… understanding, too. “You not wanting everything immediately defined with a clear path forward and strict parameters is… new. And you’re so calm right now, it’s really weird.”

       “Sorry?” Chloe guesses, laughing a bit in discomfort. She has changed a bit since the start of the year, hasn’t she?

       “No, it’s a good thing,” Jada says with a small smile. She reaches out, grasping Chloe’s hand and squeezing it. “It’s just that it feels like you’ve matured several years in only a couple months, and I’m only now realizing that I somehow missed it.”

………………

The next day, instead of grabbing food and going back up to their room, or finding a corner table close to the windows, Chloe hesitantly tugs Red over to her friends.

       They immediately fall quiet as Chloe sets down her try and Red hovers uncomfortably. She relents when Chloe tugs on her hand, sitting down with a frown.

       An awkward silence hovers over their table for the first few minutes, even after Shane and Amerie start hitting each other to urge the other one into saying something, and Chloe really wishes she could do something to break it herself. But she can’t, really. Most of the discomfort comes off of Jada and Red.

       Chloe shoots her oldest friend a pointed look that she grimaces at before looking over at Red, who is wearing a small scowl as she stabs her uneaten coco puffs with a spoon.

       Jada clears her throat. “Hey, uh, Red.”

       Red lifts her eyes but doesn’t move her head. It’s a discomforting, bland, look etched in disgusted disinterest. It’s a lie. Mostly.

       “I wanted to apologize for the way I’ve been acting. As Chloe has pointed out to me, I’ve been an ass. She told me over and over that you weren’t a threat, but I’m so used to trying to protect her from people who take advantage of her kindness, that I disregarded what she was telling me. I can get stubborn and single minded, and sometimes I lash out at people who don’t actually deserve it. You didn’t deserve it. So, I’m sorry.”

       The Look on Red’s face wavers and slips away into something confused, brows all furrowed and frown deepening. She looks to Chloe for direction, but Chloe just shrugs, trying to convey that it’s up to her on what to do.

       The scowl slips back onto her face as she shrugs her shoulders and hunches back over her bowl. “I did. But whatever,” she mutters in discomfort.

       Jada hesitates, uncertain, and also looks to Chloe for answers. Again, Chloe shrugs. She doesn’t want to always be the mediator. They have to figure out how to communicate.

       “Am I… I mean, does that mean I’m forgiven? And we can be friends?”

       It’s awkward. So, so, awkward. But Chloe has to just leave it alone.

       “Sure, yeah, it’s fine. Friends is…” Red grimaces, “I guess.”

       Chloe sways into her roommate, bumping their elbows in support, and then smiles across at her other friend. Red didn’t outright reject the offer of friendship. This little breakfast feels like a huge success.

Chapter Text

When Chloe comes into the dorm, she halts just inside the door, attention entirely caught on her friend moving around the room. Chloe’s headphones, somehow no longer broken, are over her ears as she bounces and spins with her eyes closed. Chloe winces as the red-head comes close to clipping her knee on the edge of the bed frame, before moving further into the room.

       It looks less like dancing than it does stimming, with her arms held out wide at her side. The movements are wild and exaggerated, and she even starts to see a pattern to them until they abruptly change. She can’t help but want to join.

       Red suddenly opens her eyes as Chloe puts her things down, catching sight of her and stopping mid spin.

       Her small smile lights up the room as she crosses to Chloe in a slightly off balance line. She pulls the headphones from her head and attempts to put them over Chloe’s ears, but Chloe immediately pulls them off from the music blasting painfully straight into her eardrums.

       She doesn’t know how she can listen to anything at that volume. “Too loud for me, baby,” she says, letting the cups rest against her collarbone, and the music is still loud enough to spill out into the room between them. “How are these working?” she asks.

       “Had Madds fix them,” she hums, pulling Chloe into the middle of the room and into a slightly slower circle than she was doing previously. She very quickly gets dizzy, though, so she just relaxes and lets Red pull her around and around and around.

       When they try to finally stop, the ground keeps moving and they both topple over as it’s yanked out from underneath them, and Chloe giggles while Red buries her face in her neck, and they cling to each other.

………………….

Chloe is brought out of sleep by a familiar sound that has her rolling off the side of her bed before her brain fully comes into awareness. As she stands there, swaying, more thoughts drift in, waking her further.

       Exhaustion drags at her as she crosses to the other bed. She doesn’t know how Red does it- how she gets so little sleep and is any way functional the next day.

       “Red,” Chloe calls softly, and reaches out for the girl's shoulders, shifting and shivering under the experience of a bad dream. Chloe steps back and crouches down as Red jolts into a sitting position, breathing heavy and trembling the whole bed. It’s an unfortunately common thing.

       Though it has been getting better. Chloe has been woken less.

       Chloe slides onto the bed as Red clings to the front of her own shirt, and while she flinches at first, she soon curls against Chloe’s side.

       “I’m- I’m fine,” Red stutters unconvincingly. “Just go back to bed.”

       “Not a chance,” Chloe hums, threading her fingers through sweaty locks. “Do you want to talk about it?”

       “No. No, please, just go back to bed. I keep waking you up.”

       “I’m okay, Red,” Chloe reassures, eyelids heavy. It’s not like she’d be able to sleep with Red like this anyway- heart racing just under her skin, breathing erratic.

       “Really,” she says, pulling away and starting to climb out of bed, “I’ll just go for a walk-”

       “I’ll go with you,” Chloe immediately volunteers, but then Red is changing direction and sinking back down on the bed with a muted noise of distress.

       “No, I-” she drags the blankets up over her shoulder as she flops over. “Nevermind. Let’s just go back to sleep. I’m tired.”

       Chloe believes it. She yawns as she crawls under the covers next to her friend, and a feeling of warmth washes over her as Red tucks her nose against Chloe’s collarbone. She’s not surprised that Red doesn’t immediately sink into sleep. Her breathing is still uneven, and her hand is shaking as it plays with Chloe’s fingers.

       “You’ve been sleeping better, right?” Chloe murmurs against the top of her head. “You haven’t been having as many nightmares.”

       “Yeah,” she murmurs. “Go to sleep, Princess.”

       She hates the way her eyes immediately grow heavier and her thoughts slower just with the simple permission to sleep. “You won’t disappear?" she checks. "You won’t go out without me?”

       “I promise.”

………………….

Chloe looks around uncertainly, taking in the alcohol and music and surplus of the student population milling around. She’s been to a handful of parties before, and at least Dizzy’s are halfway decent, but she doesn’t know how Red would react to this many people, and the noise, and the flashing lights.

       “Maybe we should go,” Chloe says, eyeing the game of beer pong that just started up in the corner.

       “Relax, Chlo,” Jada says, slapping her hands down on Chloe’s shoulders and pushing them further into the house. “Red is a teenager, not a child you’re babysitting, and I bet she’s never even been to a party before. Stop worrying, and let’s just enjoy it.”

       “She probably won’t even-” Chloe breaks off as she turns her head to get Red’s reaction, and sees wide eyes taking in Evie’s cottage, alive with… what Chloe can only describe as life . Excitement. And for the first time, Chloe sees what is undoubtedly a grin slowly split her face.

       “This… is what a real party looks like? And we won’t get in trouble? This is allowed?”

       “Sure is!’ Jada says, letting Chloe go. She then sees the beer pong table as well and corrects herself, unconcerned, “Well, kind of.”

       “Come on!” Amerie says, coming up behind Red and driving her forward by the shoulders into the crowd. She startles, before turning to catch sight of the girl pushing her, and smiling a bit as she lets herself get dragged.

       “Wait- don’t-” Chloe sighs as they disappear.

       “You’re not her mother,” Jada says, bumping their shoulders. “Just be her friend. Or her- whatever-you-two-are.”

       Red could probably do with a mother, considering the one she actually has. But she could at least acknowledge that that’s not a role Chloe should take on. Nor is that the role she wants with Red. So she pushes those instinctive worries down and forces herself to relax. She doesn’t hate parties. She can enjoy this one with her friends just as she has any other.

       “You’re right,” she huffs, trying to shake off her anxiety. It’s a hard thing to do when it feels like a reflex at this point. “Dance with me?” She requests, knowing being active and moving is the best way to banish the panicky feel of jitters.

       “Absolutely,” Jada agrees, grabbing her hand and dragging her into the middle of the room that was cleared to accommodate at least one grade level.

       When Chloe finds Red later, she’s standing in the open doors leading to the lawn, intently watching a game of cornhole between Amerie and Shane and two upper classmen. The red solo cup doesn’t look out of place at all in her hand.

       Her entire body perks upon spotting Chloe, and Chloe’s is mesmerized by the lopsided smile that lights her face. It’s distracting enough that it takes her a moment to recognize the slight flush on her cheeks and the slightest glaze in her eyes for what it is.

       “Hey, Princess,” Red greets lightly, tilting sideways and almost missing Chloe as she tries to lean into her. She adjusts the proper distance seamlessly and with so little effort it could have been a genuine mistake.

       “Hey,” Chloe says, pleasantly surprised (and slightly weary) by her good mood. “Where’d you get that from?” she asks, glancing into the cup. She plucks it from her hand and takes a sip, and is relieved to mostly just taste a whole lot of orange juice.

       “Amerie,” Red says, accepting the cup as Chloe passes it back.

       “She told you it has alcohol, right?” Chloe checks, because sometimes her friend can forget details like that in her eagerness for everyone to have a good time.

       Red’s eyebrows lift in genuine surprise as she looks down at her cup. “No. She just said it was orange juice and something called vodka. Does it really, though? It tastes so good.”

       “Vodka is a type of alcohol,” Chloe huffs, half in amusement and half in slight irritation that her friend didn’t make sure Red knew what it was she was being handed. “How many have you had?” Red attempts to straighten and then huffs something almost like a laugh as she slightly sways.

       “Only three.”

       “I’m going to kill her,” Chloe says lightly, watching amused as Red once again quickly finds her footing. She’s not quite into the drunk category, but she’s definitely feeling it.

       “Or,” Red hedges, stepping back into the house and discarding her drink onto a side table, “You can dance with me.”

       Chloe willingly lets herself get pulled back onto the dance floor. She’s immediately enamored by her roommate as the other girl moves with and around her. For someone who claims not to be very good at dancing, Red sure knows how to move her body. She doesn’t even seem to be thinking about it as her eyes fall shut and one hand remains on Chloe as a grounding point.

       With the combination of alcohol and music, her face looks so open and free of her usual standoffish weariness. Chloe soaks in her features, relaxing even more. Jada was right, of course. She doesn’t need to worry.

       Anticipation buzzes under her skin as if she were the one drinking as she notices more and more Red’s gaze shifting to her lips. She’s not even trying to hide it as it eventually just settles there in a fixed stare, and it would be so easy to just lean in and close the gap for her... But she kind of wants to see if Red would do it herself. Their dancing keeps drawing closer and closer, and Chloe can smell the juice on her breath, but Red never moves to close the gap entirely.

       “You can kiss me, you know,” Chloe breaks, a bit breathlessly. “Any time you want.”

       Red’s eyes flick up for the first time in nearly five minutes, dark but showing surprise. “Really? Oh.” Her flush grows darker as she bites her lip. “You can kiss me whenever, too. I mean- only if you even wanted to-”

       Chloe immediately leans forward, very much wanting to and not interested in Red thinking anything else, but then Red’s eyes widen and she jolts a bit back in surprise. “Wait!” she gasps, freezing Chloe in place.

       “Sorry,” Chloe instantly apologizes, confused. “You said whenever…?”

       “Um, right,” Red says, looking around wildly, making Chloe even more aware that they are in the middle of the dance floor. “And you can! But- not wher ever.”

       Chloe relaxes as she understands the misstep and reaches out to take Red’s hand, pulling her from the mass of bodies honestly not paying them any mind. She pulls her roommate along behind her down the hall, skipping all the bedroom doors because she knows that they’re locked during parties to keep out any couples looking for more privacy.

       She drags Red up the stairs and into one of the farther bathrooms from the party. She feels a bit giddy and bubbly being one of those people seeking privacy with their girlfriend. Or- friend. Or- person she really wants to kiss.

       Chloe closes the door softly and starts to turn back around, “Is this bett-” 

       Lips cover hers, awkwardly placed and a bit too hard. The pressure almost immediately lessens, drawing away, but not completely as Chloe reaches out to adjust Red’s placement. She slides her hand into hair and glides her mouth down a fraction, and then presses lightly forward into something much more comfortable.

       Chloe’s brain turns to mush as Red gently presses her back against the door. She’s sure to pull her roommate with her, sliding her hand down to settle on hips. She tilts her head, charmed by the way the Wonderland girl responds in kind, any clumsiness very quickly falling away with each new soft press of lips.

       Red sighs as Chloe draws back the slightest bit, eyes cracking open to see her face. Red’s eyes are just barely beginning to open, lips slightly parted, and the blood in her cheeks is just under the surface in a very rewarding blush that Chloe very much wants to darken. Hers are probably just as flushed. She can taste the orange juice Red had been drinking on her tongue as she absently runs it over her bottom lip.

       She leans back in before Red can fully blink open her eyes. Unhurried. Reverent and not hindered by tears or snot or concussion.

       The spell is broken when the door at Chloe’s back attempts to open. She shoves backward, slamming it closed as she gasps for breath as if she had just sprinted and meets Red’s wide eyes. As soon as their eyes connect, they both try to muffle their giggles. A knock raps insistently on the door.

       “Please hurry up! I really need to go and all the other bathrooms are taken, too.”

       “Um, one second,” Chloe stutters, feeling slightly bad. Or, she would if Red’s eyes weren’t still dancing with humor and her makeup wasn’t smudged, and she didn’t still taste her on her lips.

       Red turns and throws the window open, throwing her leg over the ledge as she ducks her head through.

       “Wait-” Chloe hisses, suddenly remembering the couple drinks Red had earlier, and her show of clumsiness, but then her second foot is disappearing out the window, too. She ducks her head back in and winks at Chloe before she crouches down and starts running along the roof.

       Chloe quickly tugs the door open and squeezes past the person that darts into the bathroom. She makes her way back downstairs and onto the lawn, scanning both the roof and ground for familiar wild hair.

       She spots Red hovering near Chloe’s friends, and sighs in relief at seeing her safe and sound on solid ground. Red grins at her as she comes up to them, passing her one of the two drinks that have materialized in her hand, and Chloe sniffs at it before taking a sip.

       “It’s just juice,” she murmurs, taking a sip of her own drink as she sways her shoulder against Chloe’s.

       “Thanks,” she hums back, hoping no one questions the imperfect smudge of Red’s lipstick as she tries not to stare.

…………………..

She doesn’t know what wakes her up. The silence, maybe, or the conclusion of a dream. But as reluctant consciousness swims into her awareness, and as she tries to drift back under, she notices something off, and her awareness sharpens despite her efforts.

       She sits up, eyes immediately seeking out her roommate, because that’s the way her thoughts always turn when she feels a stirring of unease. It’s also the way her thoughts turn when she feels unbelievably happy. Or bored. So, basically all the time.

       Spotting the empty bed doesn’t immediately plummet Chloe’s stomach. It’s after she seeks out the empty dark space of the bathroom, and then notices the open window.

       As Chloe starts to stand, a scraping sound reaches her ears, and hands grasp onto the windowsill, and she settles back down on the edge of the bed.

       Her stomach is twisting unpleasantly as she watches Red pull herself up and through. She looks up as one foot touches the ground, freezing as she spots Chloe watching her. She ducks her head in guilt as she climbs the rest of the way into the room and slides the window closed.

       “You snuck out?” Chloe asks, wondering how she didn’t wake up if Red had a nightmare. It’s kind of impossible not to wake up when Red has a nightmare.

       She shifts uneasily, guiltily. “It’s not a big deal,” she says, shrugging out of her jacket. “I just didn’t want to wake you.”

       “I want you to wake me; I want to help.”

       “You can’t. It’s not…”

       “I really don’t mind staying up with you after a nightmare, Red. It’s better than waking up and discovering you’re not there-”

       “It wasn’t a nightmare,” Red snaps, folding in on herself defensively. “It’s-it’s-it’s-” she makes a disgruntled noise at not being able to get the words out. “I can’t sleep. I don’t want to sleep. And it’s not sometimes, it’s all the time. If I fall asleep, I wake you up, and if I just lay there not sleeping, I wake you up by tossing and turning. This room is suffocating sometimes. So I leave.”

       Chloe feels struck in the chest as she realizes this wasn’t a one off. Red had never stopped going out at night, she just got better at hiding it. She lied to Chloe. A bitter feeling crawls up her throat, and she stands.

       “I thought you were done with that. Or at least would take me with you! I really don’t care if you wake me up every night, we can figure it out. But to lie about it?”

       “You’re suffocating me!” Red suddenly bursts. “It’s not just the room, it’s you - your-your- your worry. And feeling guilty about your worry just makes it worse, and I feel like I still can’t breathe. But if I just get out, at least I’m not keeping you up, too! So if you reallu want me to stop going out, you have my heart. Just order it. I’m only going to disappoint you otherwise.”

       Chloe takes a step back, knocking into the edge of the bed, feeling hurt. Wounded. Injured.

       “You…” She swallows. “You gave me your heart. You asked me to hold onto it. And now you’re telling me to-” Chloe’s jaw snaps shut, clenching as her fists clench. She’s so angry, suddenly, that she feels lost for words.

       Red’s expression turns weary, but she doesn’t retreat. She takes a hesitant step forward, reaching out.

       Chloe turns away from it, taking quick steps to get out from feeling trapped between the beds. “If you’re going to say shit like that, think that I’d do that, just take it back.” She desperately sucks in deep breaths, trying to calm down, but it hurts under her fury. She feels hurt. Does Red really think that she’d just order her around like that- force her compliance? It’s not fair. Chloe has tried so hard to do everything right. She got Red’s heart- for Red - so she’d have that choice- so why does she still think Chloe would- could- take that away from her. For any reason?

       She presses the heels of her palms into her eye sockets, trying to stave off the burn of tears.

       “Chloe…”

       Chloe takes one last deep breath and turns back around. It's an effort to keep from raising her voice- to keep all her turbulent emotions in check. Getting emotional isn’t the way to talk to Red- at least emotional in a way that makes it impossible to get across thought and reason.

       “I’m not going to hurt you, Red. I’m not going to order you to do anything. You can always say no,” Chloe voices emphatically, sincerely. “I just want you to be honest . I’m sorry that my worry feels smothering; I don’t mean it to be, and I’m not going to stop worrying, but pushing it onto you- that’s something I can work on. I can work on it.”

       She hadn’t known she was smothering her with it. She just… wanted to help. Why didn’t Red just tell her it was too much? Did Chloe miss her trying to tell her?

       Red wrings her fingers, staring down at them. “I’m sorry,” she says. “I didn’t mean to lie. I just… don’t want you to get tired of me.”

       Chloe steps forward and clasps her friend’s hands. “That’s not possible, Red. I’m here, and I’m not going anywhere, but if you need a break sometimes… okay, I’ll deal with it. I’ll deal with it. Okay?”

……………………..

Chloe can’t take her eyes off her roommate. She doesn’t know why she’d ever want to. There is a… twisted, knotted, so very fond feeling that makes Chloe warm all the way to her toes. Despite the cold, she feels warm.

       Red laughs. She laughs, turning around and around and around in a circle, arms out by her side and head tilted back as she squints up at the sky. Snowflakes catch in her hair and melt sparkling diamonds on her cheeks.

       “This is… amazing,” she breathes, looking around in wonder at the white blanket that has appeared overnight, and the flurry doesn’t appear to be close to stopping. The world is bright, despite being early morning, everything reflecting off the clouds and ground.

       The younger students are spilling out into the lawn as well to play in Auradon’s first snow of the year, but they might as well not exist, because Red turns to face Chloe with the largest smile.

       And then she slips, tipping over into the snow with a muted puff. She laughs again, and Chloe joins her as she rushes forward to peer down at her. Red looks back, eyes squinting, and the flakes cover her. Her colors stand stark against the blinding, glittering, white.

       Red isn’t dressed for the weather. She wears her normal mesh sleeves and half-jacket. She should be freezing. Chloe is shivering already, even though she managed to grab a real jacket on their way out the door. But Red seems content to shiver and touch the snow around her even though her gloves really should have fingers on them.

       “Can you eat this?” she asks.

       “Sure,” Chloe says, and then feeling awkward standing above her, flops into the snow beside her. “Just not the yellow kind.”

       “There is yellow snow, too?” Red asks.

       “Not naturally. That’s why you shouldn’t eat it.”

       “Oh,” she says, and then raises some snow to her mouth and eats it. The powder sticks to her lips and nose for all of a moment before it melts, and Red’s face lights up once more. It’s a child-like, genuine, wonder.

       They have class today. It should be starting soon, and already people are trickling back inside, stomping their feet at the threshold, but Chloe feels content where she is. For the first time, she… wouldn’t mind skipping a class or two.

       “Come on,” Chloe says, suddenly sitting up. “Let’s make a snowman.”

       “A what?” Red asks, but she follows Chloe to her feet.

       “A snowman. Come on, I’ll show you.” Chloe forgot her gloves in her rush out the door- Red had told her that there was something wrong with outside, when she woke Chloe up before her alarm, and Chloe hadn’t realized she’d never seen snow before until they were already spilling out into the cold.

       She ignores the cold and plunges her hands into the snow to shape a ball. Then she starts rolling it, blowing into her hands every couple feet, until she can just use her sleeves to push it.

       Red quickly and easily takes up their new game and starts rolling her own mound that quickly surpasses Chloe’s in size.

       “Okay, that’s enough,” Chloe calls. “Start a new one,” she directs as she attempts to heave her snowball up and on top of Red’s. By the time Chloe twists it and pushes it and presses more snow into the cracks to keep it from falling, Red has already shaped the next part large enough for Chloe to call her over with it. Together, they settle the head onto the midsection to where it won't tip off, and then step back to admire their work.

       Their snowman sits crooked and lopsided, but it twists something pleasant in her chest. “We’re supposed to give it eyes with rocks, or coal, or whatever we can find. And a carrot for a nose and a scarf around his neck.”

       Chloe is chilled to the bone now. She can’t feel her hands and her fingers are too stiff to curl into fists. She blows on them frantically, trying to get some heat back into them. Stuffing them in her pockets does little to fight off the chill.

       “What else can we make?” Red asks eagerly, looking to Chloe with flushed cheeks and sparkling eyes. Her breath puffs out in a thick cloud of steam.

       “Anything we want,” Chloe says. “Snowball fights are fun.” She demonstrates by leaping away from her friend, scooping up some snow to shape and throw. It breaks against Red’s chest, clinging to her shirt and getting stuck in her collar.

       Red’s initial flinch turns into a giggle of delight as she bends down to scoop her own snow. Chloe quickly starts flinging more as quickly as she can until Red is chasing after her with her own ammunition.

       They run and dodge and play like Chloe hasn’t since she was much younger and she started preferring to stay inside and read next to the fire on snowy days. But that old delight cloaks her now, making her stay far longer than they really should with their lack of weather appropriate gear.

       Their game ends with Chloe being tackled into a snow drift, and she’s smothered in white and Red and warm brown eyes looking down at her, the corners crinkled in a happiness she’s never seen before on Red, and she desperately wants to see again.

       Red kisses her in that snowdrift, cold enveloping them with snow in their hair, down their shirts, sticking to the fine hairs on their faces and their lashes.

       Chloe’s lips are numb, and her fingers are numb, and Red’s coat and skin are so cold when she seeks her out that it just feels like she’s touching more snow. She can only feel the heat of her breath when she pulls back, and the shivers violently wracking her body.

       Aware enough not to pull away too quickly, Chloe carefully detangles her numb fingers from her roommate’s hair. “We need to go inside and warm up,” Chloe breathes.

       “Yeah,” she agrees, and then clumsily climbs off of her.

       The heating blasts them as soon as they go back inside, making Chloe feel even colder as she drags her roommate back to their room and into the bathroom.

       From between outside and their room, Red’s teeth have started chattering, and Chloe feels a twinge of guilt. She shouldn’t have gotten so lost in the moment that she didn’t make them go back up and get better dressed before playing in the snow.

       But what’s done is done and she can’t really bring herself to regret it, so she just plugs the drain in the bathtub and starts running warm water.

       “You’re too cold,” Chloe shivers, holding her hand under the faucet. It’s probably luke warm, but it feels scalding to her frozen fingers. “A bath should help you warm up. I can run down to the kitchen and get us some hot chocolate, too. Hot chocolate is a must on snow days- I bet you’ll really like it, too.”

       “You’re just as cold as I am,” Red says while trying to unzip her jacket, but her hands are shaking too much to get a good hold. Chloe, fingers now warm enough after being under the water that they mostly just hurt, reaches out to pull it down and help her out of it. Then, before she can think too hard on it, she gets the button and zipper on her pants as well before turning back to the water filling the tub and dumping in some bath salts and bubbles. “Th-thanks,” Red says.

       “I’m okay. I’ll just bundle up in a bunch of blankets, and if I’m still cold by the time you’re done, I’ll take one after you.”

       “Don’t be stupid,” Red says, stepping past Chloe and into the water, slowly lowering herself in as Chloe’s eyes widen. “Just get in here and warm up.”

       Chloe hesitates for all of a moment before going to collect a hair tie that she uses to put her hair up, and then passes one to Red. While she struggles to get her fingers to work, Chloe strips out of her melting clothes and climbs into the tub across from her friend.

       The water sloshes with the extra body, and some is displaced over the lip, so she hurriedly reaches across to turn off the water. The warm water enveloping her cold skin feels heavenly, and she sighs.

       She feels nervous sharing a bath with the girl she is very attracted to, but if she closes her eyes and just doesn’t look at her, it’s not all that weird. At least, it doesn’t have to be, if she doesn’t let it.

       But then the water sloshes again and Chloe feels a hand on her knee, pushing her legs apart, and her eyes snap open. The tub squeaks as Red turns without rising out of the bubbles and then settles her back against Chloe’s front.

       Chloe’s heart jumps, heat rushing quickly back to her face and head as Red then grabs Chloe’s floating in I-don’t-know-what-to-do arms and wraps them around herself with a content sigh.

       It is very strange, and feels very forbidden, to have so much skin pressing up against her, and knowing that under the bubbles, they are entirely naked. But after a couple minutes, that strange awkwardness seems to slip away. Until Chloe relaxes fully and hugs Red more easily against her as she warms up to the idea just as her body warms with the water.

       After a while, the water starts to feel its temperature and a bit too cold, so Chloe nudges her roommate to sit forward. “Unplug the drain for a bit,” she says softly, and Red complies while Chloe twists the spout toward hot, letting the cooling water warm and be replaced with a hotter temperature.

       When it feels like they are back to soaking in a comfortable heat, Red replugs the drain and Chloe cuts off the water again before leaning back.

       The distance gives her a clear view of Red’s back. At the scars. Before Red can settle again, Chloe lifts her hands from Red’s waist to trace one. Red becomes still enough for the water to settle around them. A lot of the bubbles have dissipated.

       “After Ace and Chester, I started lashing out,” she murmurs after a moment. “Disobeying any way I could think of. In front of the court, in public. My mother, she… she couldn’t have her own daughter disrespecting her so publicly without consequences. So she made an example, but I didn’t stop, so she eventually…” The water moves again, streaming from Red’s hand as she lifts it to her throat. “I stopped being so overt with my rebellion after she took my head. She still knew it was me, but I wasn’t punished if I didn’t get caught. She punished the guards instead for not catching me.”

       Chloe leans forward and kisses the scar.

       Then she kisses the ones below it. Then she drags her lips across and up to kiss the smooth skin of her shoulder. There is a feeling stirring in Chloe, so strong and overwhelming and warm that she doesn’t know what to do with herself or how she can keep it contained in her body. It’s just… love and affection, and it doesn’t know how to show itself properly, so Chloe finds herself biting down on the skin under her mouth. She forces herself to be gentle, even though that something inside of her wants to squeeze Red for all she’s worth.

       Oh. Is this what Red means ‘she just wants to bite her?’ Has she… been feeling this all along?

       Chloe changes her teeth to another kiss, and Red sighs as she leans back against her. Her fingers find Chloe’s knees, tracing little absent patterns as Chloe slides her hands back over her love’s stomach to hold her.

Chapter Text

Chloe drops her duffle bag at the foot of the bed and then flops backward with a relieved sigh. Two weeks without having to worry about classes or homework or tests is a godsend. Truely. Christmas has always been her favorite holiday, and the time off only makes it more so.

       “That last exam was awful,” Chloe groans. “I never want to solve for the atomic weight of another element ever again.”

       “It wasn’t that bad,” Red says, disappearing into the bathroom.

       “That’s because you are a wiz with numbers. Like, what the hades?”

       Red snorts, pushing the door closed. As Chloe waits for her to come back, she soaks in the familiarity of her childhood room. The feel of the mattress and comforter, the smell traces from her unlit candles.

       When the door opens, she huffs as she heaves herself back upright and to her feet.

       “Okay, let's head back down. I think they said they were waiting for us to eat.”

       “Um,” Red says, crossing the room and bending down to shuffle through her bag. “I can just stay up here? I mean, it’s only two weeks.”

       “What are you talking about?” Chloe asks, furrowing her brow.

       “You said Christmas was a family thing. I know your family is sponsoring me, so I kind of have to be here while the school is closed, but I don’t want to ruin your holidays or anything. So I can just stay up here? I’ve been confined to my room way longer before, so it’ll be fine.”

       “First of all,” Chloe starts, “No. Just, no.” She reaches out to pull her friend away from the bag she’s just using to make herself look busy, and sits back down on the edge of the bed. “Second, it is a family holiday. But family doesn’t just mean blood relation. Friends can be family, too.”

       “I’ve met your mom and dad twice.”

       “But I talk about you all the time,” Chloe counters, squeezing her hands. “And that’s easily enough for them to love you, too.”

       “I won’t ruin their Christmas? Or your brother’s?”

       “Baby, half those presents under the tree are for you,” Chloe laughs. She didn’t have to peek, she knows her parents, and both of them have been asking a lot of questions about the things Red might like.

       Watching Red’s eyes widen at that news is amusing. As is the soft little, “Oh.”

       “Now, can we go eat?” she asks, kissing the backs of each hand, and the way Red seems to melt is like magic.

       “Okay,” she agrees.

       Chloe has never brought anyone home for Christmas before. All her other friends have always had their own homes and families to visit. And even though Chloe does see them as family, it might feel weird having them around on a day that’s typically just her parents and her brother.

       But the idea of Red being here all week, and Christmas morning, feels very different. She feels excited and eager to share all their traditions with her roommate, and explain all the idiosyncrasies.

       She wants to show her how to properly decorate the tree, and tell her the meanings of each ornament as they hang it, and build gingerbread castles and decorate christmas cookies. She wants to drag Red through the castle each morning with her brother in search of the tree goblin trying to steal their presents, even though they are way too old to still believe that the mischievous toy actually comes to life at night.

       She wants to see her face light up as she opens Chloe’s presents, and watch her lost look melt into longing as her mother hugs her again.

       Chloe wants all of this, desperately. More than she’s ever wanted anything. And each instance she does get feels like everything.

       Shoving Red toward her brother when it’s time to put up the star, instead of leaping off the couch onto his shoulders herself. The third morning when it’s Red that is eagerly waking her up to go goblin hunting, and then earlier and earlier each day. Watching Red get slowly more comfortable with Chad as they team up to bury Chloe in a mountain of snowballs, and then sharing the blanket with her in front of the fire as they all sip on hot chocolate afterward.

       And while Red is confused on Christmas Eve, when they spend the entire day slaving in the kitchen, she’s practically grinning as she helps serve all the staff who have no families waiting for them at home, or even if they’d just like to attend. It’s a tradition her parents have done for as long as Chloe can remember- their way of thanks to those who serve them so dutifully the rest of the year. And it seems like a marvel of a thing to Red, like they have introduced her to her biggest form of rebellion.

       Chloe feels breathless and excited for the morning when they crawl into bed that night, both wearing their Christmas Eve pajamas that they’d unwrapped an hour before. Red’s face is flushed and alive, and she wiggles her way closer until they are sharing the same pillow and their feet tangle together.

       “I really like Christmas,” Red whispers once their breathing has calmed down.

       “Me too,” Chloe sighs.

       A few moments pass before Red whispers again, just as quietly, “I like your family.”

       Chloe reaches out, running a knuckle over the bridge of her nose and then pushing her hair behind her ear. “Good,” she utters. “Cause it’s your family too, now, I hope you know that.”

       Red tilts her face into Chloe’s hand, looking up through her lashes and the shadows they cast over her cheeks. “Okay,” she murmurs.

.

The only warning Chloe gets before the world explodes is the door slamming open. She doesn’t even have time to brace before something heavy is landing on her and yanking her pillow out from under her head.

       She hears Red shriek and fall out of bed as an obnoxious voice chants, “Wake up, wake up, wake up, wake up! It’s Christmassss!”

       Chloe catches the pillow next time it collides with her face and rips it out of her brother’s hands. “Get out of my room!” she snarls, slamming it into the side of his head hard enough to knock him over. “Oh my god, you’re in college. Grow up!”

       “Never too old to be excited for Christmas, Blueberry,” he cheers, rolling off the bed and yanking the blankets with him. Chloe shivers as the cold air hits her unimpeded.

       “You’re a menace,” Chloe groans as he tries to tickle her feet with the tag on the blanket.

       “Don’t lie, you know you love me. Now come on, Dad’s already making the hot chocolate. And you might want to check that I didn’t give your Strawberry a heart attack.”

       Chloe quickly sits up and peeks over the edge of the bed to see Red’s wide eyes looking back and forth at them from the floor. Her hair is adorably mused, but Chloe can’t help feeling bad. “I’m sorry, I should have warned you.”

       “It’s, um… what?”

       Feeling more awake, excitement sparks in her chest and she leaps out of bed. “It’s present time. Come on,” Chloe reaches down and hauls her roommate to her feet.

       “But it’s so early,” she mutters, and Chloe laughs, tugging her toward the door after her bulldozer of a brother.

       “Yeah, that’s why dad makes hot chocolate. Come on!”

       Red is still blinking in confusion when she’s pushed onto the couch, wrapped in a throw blanket, and passed a mug of hot chocolate. Despite her confusion, she doesn’t waste time before blowing on her drink (and burning her tongue anyway when she takes a sip too soon).

       Chad is already by the tree, picking up presents and sorting through them, impatiently waiting for everyone to settle so he can pass them out. He’s practically bouncing in place, hair chaotic and a mess, not that Chloe’s is probably any better.

       Once their parents take their seats and all the presents are distributed, it’s the usual free for all of tearing paper and excited cheers and words of thanks. Chloe doesn’t tear into her pile automatically, though, like she usually does. She’s stuck staring at Red, watching her cautious, careful, unwrapping, waiting to see her reactions.

       Red’s gifts seem far more important and deserving of Chloe’s attention than her own- the careful way she handles each one. Her face lights up when her first wrapping reveals her very own pair of noise cancelling headphones that she immediately unboxes and slides over her ears. Another one is something every Auradon teenager needs: a phone. Plus $100 gift card for iTunes that Chloe knows she’ll be helping her set up.

       She also gets a real sketch pad along with drawing pencils, pastels, and a beginner's painting set. Chloe can’t wait to see what use she makes of them. She might even be able to convince her roommate to paint the walls of their room.

       Red looks at Chloe for the dozenth time when she comes to one soft wrapping that has Chloe’s name on it, and Chloe shrugs, watching intently as she pulls the wrapping away. Her head tilts as she looks down at it.

       “What am I supposed to do with this?” she asks.

       “Anything you want, really. Cuddle it, throw it out, hide it in your closet, put it on your bed. I just figured everyone should have a teddy bear.”

       She reaches out with one finger, gently running it over the pink fur of the bear’s forehead. Then she brings it to her chest and just… holds it there as she looks back at Chloe. “Aren’t you going to unwrap your presents?”

       “Oh,” Chloe blinks, looking down at her practically untouched pile, and then reaches for one. “Right.”

       Chloe is just burrowing against her parents to express her gratitude when Chad leaps to his feet with an excited, “Oh! I forgot I made something last night,” and rushes out of the room.

       Chloe pulls away and, seeing her parents just as confused as she is, she settles back down in her previous seat next to Red. As Red lifts one corner of her blanket, Chloe gladly leans against her.

       Chad returns quickly, thrusting something at them, and Chloe grabs it reflexively.

       “It’s a fruitcake,” he informs cheekily. “For you two fruitcakes, since you’ve been forcing the rest of us to witness whatever… this… is.”

       Red reaches out, breaking a piece off and eagerly shoving it into her mouth. Then her face drops when she realizes it doesn’t taste anything like cake, and she immediately spits it out into her hand.

       “Chad,” their mom chides, disappointment thick enough in her voice that Chloe feels it in her own gut, even though she’s not the one it’s directed at.

       “What? I got tired of no one saying anything! Chloe has literally never let anyone else touch that star since the day she was born, and she just gave it to Red- as if she didn’t bite me over it last year when I only pulled it out of the box.”

       “You know you were going to try to hide it from me,” Chloe growls.

       “See?!” he gestures. “And I don’t think it’s fair that they get to share a room when I never got to share a room with any of my girlfriends.”

       “We are literally roommates at school,” Chloe rolls her eyes.

       “Still not fair,” he sticks his tongue out at her.

       “Regardless,” their father says, “You should have let your sister come to us in her own time. You don’t know where they are in figuring things out.”

       “Oh they figured things out. I saw Chloe teaching Red about mistletoe yesterday.” Chloe’s face becomes unbearably hot as her parents glance at her. She hadn’t noticed anyone else in the library when she pulled Red to the ribbon tied bunch she had found. She wants to hide her face away in embarrassment, but they’ve done nothing wrong, so she stubbornly lifts her chin. Chad laughs at her red cheeks. “Yeah, that’s right, I saw that. You absolute fruitcake.”

       Red ducks her head close to Chloe’s ear. “Why is he calling us a fruitcake?”

       Chloe startles at the question, and then softens. “When someone calls you fruity, it’s in reference to your sexuality. You know, another way of being called gay,” she quickly informs her.

       Red blinks at her uncomprehendingly. “What’s that?”

       “What?” Chloe returns her own blank stare.

       “Wonderland doesn’t have those kinds of terms, dear,” her mother breaks in with a sigh. “The idea of multiple sexualities is kind of needless because the term ‘straight’ doesn’t exist, nor any of those other labels. Gender doesn’t really matter to anyone in Wonderland, they just like who they like.”

       That actually sounds kind of amazing. She wonders if that means everyone in Wonderland is bi, or pansexual, or they just don’t think about it at all. Auradon is so wrapped up in labels and defining things that it’s hard for Chloe to wrap her own head around it fully. 

       It sounds like something Chloe would love to hear about in more depth, but the question that leaps from her mouth ends up being, “You like guys, too?”

       Chloe hadn’t really considered having to compete for Red’s attention before. Girls or guys, Chloe seemed to be the only one able to get near Red without her seeming to want to bite their heads off. But Red has been more approachable lately, and while she’s reserved, she doesn’t really scowl at everyone who comes near her anymore. And since Chloe convinced her to join the art club (with strong encouragement from their principal), she’s been talking to other people.

       There are a lot of great, crush-worthy, people at Auradon Prep. Guys and girls, and Chloe is suddenly wondering if Red only has feelings for her because she’s the first one to be nice to her and stubborn enough to keep trying to break through her walls.

       But… then why was Red so concerned about people seeing them kiss, if homophobia doesn’t exist where she’s from? She feels a bit stupid when it occurs to her that it’s probably something much simpler than a gender thing (as in, so much more complicated). It’s an affection in general thing, isn’t it? After all, she’s seen Red’s discomfort any time anyone expresses affection around her. Fuck, Chloe wants to murder her (hopefully eventual) girlfriend’s mother.

       Red gives her an odd look that has her flushing again. “Not any at the moment. Is liking guys not normal in Auradon? Because I’ve seen quite a few male/female relationships. You have a mom and dad as well?”

       A surprised laugh bursts out of Chloe, shaking loose some of the tension that was building in her shoulders. It’s fine. She has to trust that everything will be okay. “It’s the opposite, actually. Two girls or two guys being together isn’t always accepted. We’ve gotten a lot better about it, but there are still some people who like to voice their opinions.”

       Red frowns, brows furrowing, and then turns to Chloe’s mom. “How did you know that about Wonderland?”

       “Your mother talked about it, back when we were in school,” she reveals gently, voice softening in a careful way. “We used to be… close.”

       Chloe watches the way Red immediately starts to draw into herself, pulling her limbs into her body and leaning slightly away. She sets down the fruitcake to free her hands if she’s needed.

       “Maddox said she didn’t always used to be the way she is now,” Red says softly. She hesitates uncertainly. “What was she like?”

       Her mother sighs, that old, longing regret back in her expression. “She was the kindest person I knew. So good, I felt unworthy standing beside her sometimes. Made me want to be better.” It’s hard to think of the Queen of Hearts like that. Especially with the aftermath and scars Chloe has seen left behind on her roommate.

       Red sucks her bottom lip into her mouth. “What happened? Why does she hate you so much?”

       “Oh, honey, let’s not get into that right now. It’s Chris-”

       “Why can’t she love me?”

       Her mother stops breathing as air itself hesitates. She hadn’t wanted to talk about it all those months ago, either, when Chloe had asked. But it’s Red asking this time. And it’s in such a heartbreaking way.

       Her mother shakes her head sadly. “You have to understand, it was just a bad time, and a lot of things were happening at once. It wasn’t one thing. There was this girl, a bully, who had been targeting Bridget since she got there, because Bridget wouldn’t ever back down. She was always unfailingly nice, even to her, and Uliana hated that. So Uliana did everything in her power to isolate her and ward off all her attempts to make friends with anyone else.”

       Chloe’s father reaches out, gripping her mother’s hand in silent support as she hesitates.

       “Bridget had been looking forward to Castle Coming since she heard about it. I asked her to go with me, as friends. I didn’t know she had feelings for me when I asked. She told me the day before the dance. And when I turned her down, I swore that we’d still be friends, that nothing would change between us. But, as you know, Chloe, I was grounded at the last minute. Faye found me and helped me escape, and before I could go look for her, I got caught up in a fairytale I always said I didn’t want.” Her mother and father exchange sad, guilty looks.

       “I didn’t know Uliana and her group had something planned for her. When the prank happened, I wasn’t there for her, when I should have been. And all she knew was that she trusted me with her heart, her only friend, and I stood her up. She didn’t know the full story.”

       “Did you tell her? Did you explain?” Chloe desperately asks.

       “I tried, baby,” she says. “But then the clock struck twelve and I had to rush home. I tried to find her the next day, but she’d already returned to Wonderland.”

…………………

Red doing Chloe’s makeup has become a bit of a routine. Chloe doesn’t mind doing it herself, but sitting on the counter as Red does it feels like a sacred, intimate thing. It reminds her of the first time she did it, the first time Chloe saw something soft in her.

       The first time she noticed how pretty Red was, and something had also stirred in her chest in response.

       She had noticed her dark brown eyes. The concentrated curve of her brow. The intense focus of her gaze. Oh, and her lips. Chloe notices the full swell of her lips, and the way her hair frames the softer features of her face.

       Now it gives her plenty of excuse just to look at Red up to the point it’s time to close her eyes. She lets them fall closed with a sigh, enjoying the careful touch and undivided attention.

       She wonders what it would feel like to do Red’s makeup for her in return. If it would feel just as intimate.

       “Can you tell me about your friends?” Chloe requests, and she can’t see her roommate’s reaction, but she feels her pause before the brush continues soft strokes against her eyelid.

       Red clears her throat. “I only really knew them for about two weeks,” she utters, as if a disclaimer, or something she says to convince herself that it shouldn’t matter. “I’d never had friends before, and for the short time I was in school, the other kids didn’t like me. They were scared of me. Thought I’d be like my mother. But when Chester showed up… he wasn’t scared. He decided he wanted to be my friend, so he snuck through the maze and climbed up to my room to ‘break me out.’ That’s how I met Ace, too. Ace was homeschooled and Chester dragged him along.”

       She moves to Chloe’s opposite eye with the same gentleness as always. “We decided that we wanted to throw a party. A real party, not an unparty where no one really likes existing for however long they last. One where they have fun. Only problem was, we didn’t know how to throw a party, or what a party was even supposed to look like. They convinced me that if I wanted Wonderland to wake up, I had to be the one to wake them up. I didn’t have to accept the role my mother planned for me. They were… brave. But they were wrong. I was wrong.”

       When she feels Red start pressing decorative jewels under her eyes, she blinks them open to watch her friend. Her face is… impassive.

       “What happened?”

       Red shakes her head harshly. “Doesn’t matter. We got caught, mom got angry, she took them away. And then she took my heart a few days later.” Chloe holds her tongue for a while, just watching Red. It’s when she starts outlining Chloe’s lips that Red ventures to offer more, hesitantly. “I liked him. Ace. Only, I don’t know if I actually liked him, or if I did because it would have pissed off my mom. I don’t know why it even matters to me which one it was. He’s gone.”

       She drags the lipstick across Chloe’s lip with maybe more care and focus than it deserves.

       “Is this, me and you, because your mom would hate it?” She only feels slightly worried as she asks it.

       “No,” Red says, eyes darting up, and they lock gazes. It feels like static, like some force is holding them, charging the air around them. “...What are we?” she asks abruptly, making Chloe blink in surprise.

       Then she softens. “Friends. Roommates. And, if you want to, too, I’d like to be girlfriends?” Is now the right time to ask?

       “Yeah,” Red says quietly, looking back down at the tube in her hand and Chloe’s lips. The fingers holding Chloe steady slip to her chin and tug her forward. Red kisses her, moulding their mouths together, and her brain short circuits at the strange feel of their lipsticks adhering together.

       She adores it when Red initiates a kiss. She doesn’t do it often, even still getting flustered when Chloe surprises her with the affection. But she’s gotten really good at it. It takes Chloe a couple moments to realize when Red has pulled away, because when Red kisses her, it’s dizzying like the laws of the land no longer hold her to it. Then her brain flickers to life and she slowly blinks open her eyes to see Red inspecting her closely.

       She runs her thumb nail along the edges of Chloe’s lips, cleaning up any smudges. Then she goes back to dabbing on the lipstick, and Chloe is stuck staring at the small flaw in her girlfriend’s own makeup, wishing to smear it some more.

…………………..

Chloe isn’t a person who takes naps. Her days are normally busy with homework and practice and spending time with her favorite people. She falls asleep easily and usually at a reasonable time, and even if she feels tired throughout the day, she knows a nap would only throw off her sleep cycle.

       But she finds herself almost drifting off now, in the middle of the day, a weight settled on her back like a weighted blanket.

       When Red had first crawled onto the bed, Chloe hadn’t paid much attention to it as she lazily texted back and forth with her friends in their group chat. It’s not uncommon for Red to sidle up against Chloe and stare at the ceiling as she played with her cards, fingers absently completing tricks that Chloe wouldn’t be able to do with all of her focus and hours of practice.

       But instead of rolling against her side, Red had climbed on top of Chloe, draping herself fully over her back with her chin settling over her shoulder. And it startled her for a moment, before she relaxed under the weight and let her phone fall to the side as she pillowed her head in her arms.

       “Hi,” she had said, and Red had hummed lazily back.

       Neither of them have moved since then, even as Chloe’s phone vibrated with new messages, and a heady peace had settled around her enough that she’s easily on the brink of drifting off with Red’s ticking against her shoulder blades.

       She’s gently brought back to consciousness when Red starts chewing on the junction of her shoulder and neck, and she huffs in lethargic amusement. Then Red starts gently sucking on where she’s biting, and Chloe sighs, tilting her head to allow better access. It feels nice, like a gentle, warm, static running through her veins.

       “Don’t leave a hickey,” Chloe slurs.

       “What’s a hickey,” Red asks softly, pausing in her biting.

       “A bruise you make with your mouth,” Chloe answers, closing her eyes again.

       “Okay,” she says, burying her nose in Chloe’s hair instead. She’s being extra cuddly and affectionate today. Chloe kind of never wants it to end. She thinks she likes being held by Red as much as she likes holding Red.

………………….

Chloe’s chest burns unpleasantly as she clutches her books to her chest and strides toward her room. Her bubbling frustration makes her steps quick and temper feel short. She feels like any small inconvenience will make her burst, and that wouldn’t be fair to anyone who might get the blunt end of her tongue.

       It wouldn’t be fair to them that the boy Chloe was tutoring is an imbecile. Chloe can have a lot of patience when tutoring someone who is genuinely struggling and wants to get better. But when that boy spends the entire time goofing off, and asking her personal questions, and trying to touch her…

       She had to cut their session short, and she has no intentions of ever agreeing to tutor him again. That kind of behavior is almost enough for Chloe to want to write off ever tutoring anyone ever again.

       She takes deep breaths, trying to calm down, because she knows she won’t feel that way once she does. Chloe genuinely likes tutoring when the person actually wants to learn, and most of the people she tutors, do.

       Her indignation spikes again as she rips open her dorm door and drops her books in a skidding pile onto her desk. Red jumps at the sound, turning in her chair. “Hey, I thought you were-”

       “Don’t talk to me right now,” Chloe says, trying very hard not to snap or start ranting as she kicks off her shoes. She yanks her comfort clothes roughly out of their drawer and stalks toward the bathroom. A bath usually calms her down, but her hands shake as she twists the knobs.

       It’s just… so stupid, how one stupid person can make her feel this way. Can affect the interactions that she has with anyone after that. Light, she just ignored Red, and now Red is probably going to think she’s mad at her, or… something else so completely wrong.

       And now she can’t stop thinking of Red, and that disgruntled feeling builds, but she’s angry at herself now. She only manages to sit in the tub for about five minutes before she is sighing and climbing out.

       She quickly dresses and steps out into the larger room. Her books are neatly stacked on her desk, her drawers closed, and her shoes perfectly placed at the end of the bed.

       Red looks up wearily when Chloe comes back out, and then ducks to focus back on her homework, even if Chloe knows she’s not actually paying attention to it right now.

       Chloe hesitates, her irritation at herself growing stronger, before she stalks toward her girlfriend. Red stiffens as Chloe gets closer, as Chloe pulls her chair back from the desk, and then she stops breathing entirely when Chloe climbs onto the chair, straddling her lap.

       Chloe slumps forward, burying her face into Red’s neck. Red’s arms slowly come up to rest around her waist, and then tighten as one hand begins to run up and down Chloe’s back.

       Chloe goes boneless, relaxing against her girlfriend with a sigh. “I hate boys,” she grumbles.

       Red pauses very briefly before continuing her ministrations, nails lightly scratching along Chloe’s spine. “Why?”

       “Well, I don’t actually. Just, some of them can be very irritating,” Chloe amends.

       “What happened?”

       Chloe hums, pressing closer to her girlfriend. Red is… very comfortable. Chloe’s frustration is already seeping away and leaving behind a far more pleasant feeling in her chest. “Guy I was tutoring had a very different idea of what tutoring actually was. It’s fine, I handled it.”

       “Oh.” The frown in Red’s voice is audible. Then Red’s arms tighten, hugging Chloe closer as she nuzzles her face into Chloe’s neck in return. The entire thing sends Chloe’s heart thrumming happily, and it’s like her discontent was never there at all.

       “I love you,” Chloe murmurs, because she can, and because Red seems to like hearing it, even if she doesn’t ever say it back in words. But she bites Chloe a bit harder than usual, and her nails dig slightly into her skin through her shirt.

       They stay like that for a while, Chloe soaking up her friend’s warmth and comfort, and Red letting her. When Chloe does finally sit back a little, Red’s eyes flicker across her face, and then linger on Chloe’s mouth.

       So Chloe sways forward and kisses her softly. As Chloe threads her fingers through her hair, Red eagerly leans into it. Her hands loosen, dropping from Chloe’s back, to her waist, to her thighs. Chloe shivers, all too aware of the hand placement as she kisses her again. And again. And it’s just so sweet that it’s kind of hard to find a reason to do anything else.

       But when she does pull back, she finds it worth it as a pretty blush spreads across Red’s cheeks, and she shyly ducks her head, bumping it against Chloe’s chin. She can’t stop smiling as she kisses her again, on the top of the head this time, inhaling the sweet scent of her shampoo.

       Red really is the sweetest, most precious thing. When she’s not deliberately being a little shit.

………………

“What. Is… happening?” Chloe looks up from her locker at Red’s halting question, and she turns her eyes to the decorations that have sprung up overnight, decorating the walls and doors and lockers.

       “Valentine's Day?” Chloe asks, slightly surprised despite herself. Considering all the heart decor she saw in Wonderland, and the princess’s own penitent for doodles, “I figured Wonderland would be all about Valentine’s Day considering it’s the day of hearts.”

       “Day of hearts?” Red questions wearily.

       “Yeah, it’s a day for couples to celebrate, basically, or really anyone you love or care for. But couples normally get each other presents and go out and just spend time with each other.”

       Red’s brows slowly grow more and more furrowed in confusion. “That’s what hearts symbolize, here? Love?”

       “Yeah, I-“ Chloe breaks herself off, making herself think the words out before voicing it. “What do hearts mean in Wonderland?”

       “Subjugation? Loyalty to the crown? I don't really know; just, love isn’t what comes to mind when I think of my mother.”

       Chloe immediately thinks of Red’s room back in Wonderland. Sterile. Decked in heart decor. Even her bed was in the shape of a heart, and her stomach sinks at the thought that, even in her room, a place meant to be hers, Red was reminded of her helplessness.

       “Oh,” Chloe says, trying not to let her disappointment show. She had kind of been hoping that she and Red would do something on that day. Even if it was just stay in and watch movies. They had been slowly working their way through Chloe’s old favorites, because movies didn’t exist in Wonderland and Red’s never seen any. Chloe has never had a significant other to celebrate with before.

       Red frowns at Chloe’s face. “You want to do this ‘Valentine’s Day’ thing, don’t you,” she says.

       “Not if it makes you uncomfortable,” Chloe says genuinely, and then hesitates. “But it would be really nice if we could at least do something small, in private. Maybe just stay in and watch a movie?”

       Red stares for a moment, before abruptly asking, “Can I do some research?”

       “Of- of course,” Chloe responds, startled. Then Red turns and walks away, leaving Chloe even more confused. Red always walks with her to class.

       She pretty much writes off Valentine’s Day entirely by the time it rolls around. But then she’s waking up to the smell of breakfast, and she barely has time to rub her eyes before a tray is being slid onto her lap.

       “What- Red-” a bouquet of blue and pink roses are shoved into her arms, and she falls speechless staring at them.

       “I know that it’s typically red roses that are given on Valentine’s day, but I just… well, I don’t really like red roses.”

       “Where did you find blue dyed roses so close to this holiday?” Chloe asks, gently touching the petals. Pink: admiration, happiness, love. Blue: uniqueness, deep love, dreams out of reach. Chloe wonders if her friend knows the meanings. Wonders if she feels like Chloe is something unattainable.

       “They come pre-dyed?” Red blinks. “I just painted them.”

       Oh. Red… Chloe melts a bit as she looks harder at the petals. It is paint- a very thin layer. It must have taken a painstakingly long time to do.

       “Anyway, um,” Red flutters away a bit and returns with a red heart shaped box that is also pushed into her hands. “Happy Valentine’s Day. I ate all the chocolates out of that already, by the way,” she says as Chloe pulls the top off, and she nearly melts again. Because Red did indeed eat all the chocolate out of it, but she replaced it with a variety of Chloe’s favorite candies, which aren’t ordinarily thought of as Valentine’s treats, and ones Red always grimaces at and turns down.

       Chloe eats one of the sour patch kids before setting the box aside. On her lap are pancakes with a variety of fruit on top, and Chloe’s favorite raspberry syrup that is only available once in a blue moon.

       She grins a bit silly as she looks at everything. Breakfast in bed, flowers, chocolate box. It seems Red is doing everything on the Valentine’s list.

       Chloe carefully sets her tray aside and sits up on her knees to face her girlfriend. She drapes her arms around her neck and leans in to kiss her, pouring as much gratitude and affection as she can into it. She ends up grinning a few seconds in, though, and has to separate. “Thank you,” she whispers, pressing their foreheads together.

       “Don’t thank me yet,” Red hums, nuzzling her face back. “I still have more planned. So eat, go to class, and I’ll have everything set up by the time you get back, yeah?”

       “Okay,” Chloe grins wider and can’t help kissing her girlfriend again before pulling her onto the bed. “But you are going to help me eat these, and I’m going to take notes for you.” She doesn’t bother arguing about skipping. Red has never listened to her about it before, and it’s not a fight she’s interested in starting again. Red can make her own decisions, and she’s actually wickedly smart for not caring much for putting effort into the majority of their classes.

       As soon as Chloe gets out the door, she whips out her phone and puts it to her ear as she hits speed dial. “Chad,” she says as soon as it’s picked up. “This is an emergency. I need help getting Red a valentine’s gift before the end of classes- no I didn’t forget- I didn’t know we were celebrating it…! I know she’s the Queen of Hearts' daughter, that doesn’t mean she celebrates it!”

Chapter Text

Red opens her eyes with a dull sort of acceptance. She’s not dead. She hadn’t managed it. The grief is clogging and cloying. The memories- images- play out in her mind, hazy and vague. Like echoes.

       The wind making her hair dance in the open air before her eyes. The parapet. Maddox bursting onto the roof with a flood of guards behind him. He circles toward her, trying to talk her down- and then the guards grab her from behind while she’s distracted.

Screaming.

Biting.

Failure.

       She doesn’t know how they knew she was out there. She has never been caught sneaking out before.

       She regards the room without moving. Her room. But her mother stands at her dresser, turned mostly away from her, tracing something with her fingers. It’s strange for her to be in this setting- in Red’s room- and the sight of her doesn’t draw up anything pleasant or comforting.

       They are alone in the room. She can’t recall a time she was ever alone with her mother.

       Red tries to move, then- to sit up- but her attempt is halted immediately with the straps around her wrists, holding them at her sides. Her heart jumps in fear, and she tugs a little harder, drawing her mother’s attention.

       “How many times have I told you to firm yourself? The heart is delicate and will always make you suffer if you give it the chance,” she murmurs with far more gentleness than she’s ever heard in her mother’s voice. Like she actually might, maybe, care. She then goes on to say, just as softly, “Don’t worry, darling, heartbreak is always hard. But this instance will make you stronger.” For a moment, Red thinks she imagines something shining like a liquid diamond on her cheek, but when she turns, there is nothing. Her face might as well be etched in stone.

       “M-mom?”

       The queen lifts the box she was handling from the dresser and crosses the room to carefully place it on the bedside table. It’s an ornate looking thing- red wood and inlaid gold seams. Decorated in delicate looking hearts. Her mother traces the edges almost lovingly before tilting it open. A mechanical ticking fills the room as she lifts out an intricate pocket watch as gorgeous as the box it came in. She sets it down on the bedside table next to the box, and Red’s heart eerily picks up to match the fast pace of the ticking.

       “To try and kill yourself,” she scoffs- a gentle scold, really. “Really? Over some- some- children who would just take advantage of you if given the chance. What about your future? Your legacy.”

       “Your legacy,” Red spits, emboldened by the carelessness her mother always wanted for her. Isn’t this what she wanted? Tears burn hot behind her eyes. “There is no future here- none that I want. I don’t want to be queen- what’s there even to be queen of? This existence is misery, just like Wonderland’s people.”

       “That’s life, Red,” the queen snaps back, creating an almost visible charge to the air. But she calms herself quickly, touching her crown and soothing a hand down her pin-straight hair. It’s odd, because she normally never tempers herself. The softness is gone. She speaks quickly- shortly. “After this little incident, I finally realize that I expected too much from you. So until you can learn to guard your own heart, I’ll do it for you.”

       “What do you mean?”

       The queen starts chanting, like she had during the Tea Ceremony, standing in front of the court. When she transformed Red’s friends into things unrecognizable. An obedient soldier, and a cheshire cat. Not hurt, technically as she promised, but not themselves any longer. Nonexistent.

       “Mom? What are you doing,” Red panics, tugging at her restraints. Is her mother going to transform her into something unrecognizable, too? Make her a mindless, obedient, unfeeling, soldier? She would rather die (she wants to die).

       She doesn’t stop her chanting, staring impassively down at her as Red tries to sit up or slip her restraints- to maybe throw herself out her window and not catch herself on the ledge.

       Her mother reaches out to her, nails sharply pointed at Red’s chest, and then that hand tears through shirt and skin and wiggles between bones that don’t want to be stretched apart.

       Red screams. Her chest burns like it’s been lit on fire, and she feels a warm wetness oozing over her breasts as her mother roots around her chest cavity. And then she’s still on fire, but she’s also suddenly achingly empty, and it feels like cement has entered her veins. Red chokes. She can feel her heart drumming, but it’s not in her chest and her blood isn’t pumping, and her mother stands over her with a red painted hand and Red’s heart.

       She gently places the frantically beating organ into the ornate box, and then picks up the watch.

       “Please, pleasepleaseplease,” Red cries, gasps, strains against clogged veins, and not inflating lungs, and confusion. Black dots dance across her vision. She’s out of air, and her words are barely a whisper past her numbing lips. “What are you doing?”

       The watch drops into the hole in her chest, and it settles with a rattling thunk against the back of her ribcage. The ticking fills her, awkward and wrong and too loose in the space it settles. It’s an unnatural fit, but Red’s blood starts flowing again, continuing to drench her shirt and the comforter under her.

       Her heartbeat fills her ears, but it’s not in her chest- her body- it’s in the box and gets muffled as the queen flicks the lid shut and the latch in place. The ticking takes its place- in her head, in her chest, and pulsing through her veins.

       It’s agony.

       She strains against her restraints and falls out of bed, clawing at her chest. It hurts. It hurts.

       “Red.”

       “Please, mom,” she chokes again, gasps again, “please. No, no, no,no,no-”

       Red thrashes across the hardwood, trying to orient herself but smacking into furniture- trying to reach into her chest to pull out the watch, but her fingers only running into skin and fabric.

       “Baby, you’re in Auradon. Just open your eyes; your mom isn’t here.”

       Red tries. But her eyes are hot and the room is blurry when she pries them open. The figure in front of her is vaguely familiar, and so is the room. “She is, she is,” Red pleads, trying to find the hole her mother had torn open. Her skin is sticky with blood. “She has my heart- she has it. She’ll never let me go.”

       Hands touch Red’s face, and she flinches, until the face in front of her swims into view. “Chloe-” Red gasps, “Chloe, I can’t-”

       “Breathe, baby,” Chloe says, looking at Red pointedly as she takes a slow deep breath in through her nose, and then blows it out through her mouth. “It’s okay. She doesn’t have your heart anymore. It’s yours, baby. You’re okay. Just breathe.”

       “Chloe,” Red whines, coughing against the snot and tears clogging her throat and making it impossible for her to follow her instructions.

       “I know, baby. Easy. Try again.”

       “She has-”

       “She does not,” Chloe disagrees calmly, and takes another exaggeratedly slow breath. “It’s in the safe, remember?” Her hands slip down to gently pry Red’s clawing nails from her skin. There is a discomforting layer of blood lodged under them.

       “There you go. Just like that. Breathe.”

       As Red coughs and struggles with air and stares down at their linked hands, some of the world slowly starts to filter back in. Sensations become clearer. Like the stinging in her chest being surface level- just on her skin- because of the damage she did with her own fingernails. Like the floorboards under her knees, biting and probably bruised. Like the sweat cooling her clothes against her skin- not blood.

       She pulls her hands out of her girlfriend’s, ripping her shirt off over her head. When she feels at her chest again, with more control this time, there is only her scar and the raised lines done by her own hands.

       Chloe just watches her, sitting back on her heels, until Red’s breath has fully calmed and she attempts to meet her eyes. “Hey,” she says, softly. “...Been a while since you’ve had one that bad, huh?”

       “Yeah,” Red croaks. She feels exhausted.

       “You wanna go back to bed, or go out?”

       Red considers the options, running her fingertips over and over the lines etched over her chest. Now that her sweat has cooled, it feels like an uncomfortable second skin clinging to her. Still almost reminiscent of a layer of drying blood.

       “Can I take a bath? Can you take a bath with me?”

       “Sure, baby,” Chloe says, and then she leaves Red there, giving her space to breathe and gather herself without a witness observing her. She knows her girlfriend will give her as much time as she needs and just keep the water heated until Red is ready.

       She feels a strong wave of fondness for her friend wash over her as she stares after her back. Adoration. Gratitude.

       When she finally feels she has enough strength to climb to her feet, she finds Chloe kneeling next to the full tub and swirling in a bubble mix that turns the water purple. She doesn’t look up as Red shuffles out of her remaining clothes and steps into the water. She sits forward, hugging her knees to her chest as she waits for her roommate to join her.

       Baths with Chloe have become one of Red’s favorite things in the world, edging out even fudge brownies and hot chocolate. She watches Chloe undress, cheek propped on her knee.

       Already, her dream is fading, the last prickles of panic easing to the edges of her awareness. Her brain easily turns to admiring her girlfriend. The way she moves, the way her curls fall over her forehead as she puts up her hair, and the shape of her face- her lips. The smoothness of her muscles.

       Her curves.

       She breaks her gaze as Chloe steps into the water behind her. Chloe is so pretty it hurts sometimes, and she doesn’t know what to do with herself. She wishes she had any kind of example of relationships she could follow. Friend. Romance. Anything other than queen and subjects.

       She’s looked it up, of course (Auradon technology is miraculous and seems to be infinite in knowledge for any question typed out), but reading about it is vague and sometimes abstract or up to interpretation.

       She closes her eyes at the feel of hands in her hair, collecting the sticking strands off the back of her neck and putting it up in an extra hair tie.

       “Is it because graduation is next week?” Chloe asks when she’s done, dropping her hands into the water and winding them around Red.

       Red leans back against her girlfriend, hooking her arms over the thighs caging her and letting her fingers trace over the smooth skin.

       “Yeah,” she hums, letting the warm water, and the warm hands caressing her stomach, soothe her. “I feel like something bad is going to happen,” she reveals. “I think... I think my mother is going to be there. Somehow.”

       “With the rabbit hole closed up, how could she?”

       “I don’t know,” Red says, but she can’t help thinking about the Pool of Tears. It’s where she and her friends desperately ran to to escape her mother’s wrath. They were caught before they ever could find out if the rumors were true- that if they swam far enough, they could escape Wonderland.

       Maybe the rumored escape was always drowning. Death.

       She tries to avoid thinking about that too hard while sitting in a pool of water, because even though she no longer wants to die, the thoughts come all too easily and then get tantalizingly stuck. Instead, she focuses on the slick skin under her fingers, and the hands stroking her stomach, and the softness pressing into her shoulder blades.

       “We can go see Principal Uma in the morning? Or your therapist?”

       “No,” Red huffs. “Uma’s already preparing just in case, and my therapist will just want to talk about my ‘trauma’ and how that’s feeding into my ‘paranoia.’”

       “It’s not paranoia if they’re really out to get you,” Chloe retorts, and Red smiles despite herself. It’s getting easier to just let herself.

       “That’s what Uma said. Then she muttered something about ‘feeding into each other,’ and kicked me out of her office.”

       “Did she really?” Chloe asks, lifting her chin from the top of Red’s head. “Wow. I mean, I know she had some issues back when the barrier first came down, but it’s hard to imagine her now as someone who still…” She sighs. “Never mind. I guess I just forget that being an adult doesn’t automatically make someone infallible.”

       Red laughs, sliding her hand down a calf to squeeze an ankle. “Chloe Charming, admitting that adults aren’t perfect? I’ve corrupted you.”

       “Shut up,” she huffs.

       Red sits forward and turns onto her knees to face her girlfriend. The water sloshes and slops over the edge before settling newly around them.

       “Red, what are you doing?” Chloe regards her.

       “Let me corrupt you some more,” Red says, hand coming down to rest on the knee still poking out of the water. The other one had automatically stretched out as Red shifted.

       Chloe’s eyes trace Red’s face- eyes, nose, mouth- then lower. “Have you been researching how to flirt?” She asks, tone and appearance of someone relaxed. But Red can see a new tension in the way she holds herself.

       “Maybe.” Red leans forward as Chloe tilts her head invitingly, the other hand coming up to her girlfriend’s shoulder to steady herself- before she winces and sits back again. “Okay, no, that hurts my knees,” Red grimaces.

       Chloe laughs, sitting up fully. She slides forward a bit, catching Red’s arms under her elbows. “Come here,” she says, straightening her other leg and nudging it against Red’s. Red lifts and steps over it, clutching onto the arms steadying her as she nearly slips. A shock goes through her as she settles into Chloe’s lap and hands slide from her elbows to her waist. “Better?” Chloe asks, looking at Red through her lashes.

       “Uh huh,” she responds dumbly, unable to focus past the skin against the insides of her thighs and this new vantage point of facing her girlfriend, and seeing the way the water shapes around her. The thumb stroking her hip bone feels very different than when she is clothed. Something in her stomach twists.

       “Good. Then I’m going to kiss you now,” Chloe says, bumping her nose against Red’s jaw before sealing their mouths together.

       And Red is able to focus on something else. Now it’s pillowy lips, and water slick skin, and warm tongue brushing against hers. It’s hands that trace up her sides and then nails that drag lightly down the front of her clenching stomach. Her pulsing heart isn’t in its box or even in her chest, but somewhere under the sloshing water as Red finds herself swaying, seeking out more delicious brushes of skin.

       She weakly vocalizes a complaint as Chloe pulls away. “Just, um, to clarify,” she breathes, hands stroking where they had drifted to the tops of Red’s thighs. Red squirms. “This is just kissing, right? I don’t- I mean- we’re not- uh- doing anything else, right?”

       “What else is there?” Red answers, leaning impatiently back toward her girlfriend's lips.

       A hand on her chest firmly halts her, and she blinks and looks up into suddenly baffled eyes.

       “Are you serious?” she asks, brow furrowed dubiously.

       Red blinks her confusion, and then hesitates uncertainly. “Is there more than kissing?” She really wishes she had anyone to model a relationship off of.

       “Oh,” Chloe utters. “Um.” She looks down at their laps. “Okay. Didn’t expect that.”

       Red feels embarrassment wash over her, and she breaks her gaze, drawing her hands back. “Sorry,” she mumbles. Evidently, she missed something in her searches of ‘everything I need to know about relationships.’ There are lots of gaps in her knowledge in regards to these types of things. Auradon or otherwise.

       Her mother didn’t want her to have any relationship at all, though she should probably be grateful. Doubtlessly, if she did, her teachings would be skewed and miserable anyway.

       “Oh, no, don’t apologize,” Chloe quickly says, hands lifting to squeeze Red’s arms. “We should have talked about it way earlier, probably. And we will now. But, um, not now now… I’m not talking about this while we are both naked.” She laughs, and it sounds slightly mortified. Just as embarrassed as Red feels. “So… you ready to get out?”

       “Sure,” Red frowns, bracing onto the edge of the tub and pushing herself to her feet. She reaches for a towel as Chloe follows her, water cascading loudly off of them.

       As she drags a towel down her arms, a loud sigh draws her attention, and she turns to see her girlfriend holding her own towel to her front with one hand, while her head has dropped into the other.

       “...When you asked to corrupt me, you were talking about the dastardly displays of affection in general, weren’t you?”

       “Yes?” Red answers, watching in concern at the way Chloe’s fingers splay across her red face.

Chapter Text

The day of graduation dawns as any other day. Watching the ever changing colors of the sky is normally fascinating to Red, but now the kaleidoscope of colors only brings her closer to facing her mother. And she is sure that she will face her mother today.

       She can feel it. It feels similar to Parent’s Day all those months ago with the anticipation and nausea turning her stomach. She’s debating her need to rush to the bathroom to empty her stomach when her girlfriend finally wakes up.

       She can hear the rustling sheets, and she turns to watch Chloe’s hand reach searchingly across the bed. When she doesn’t find Red, her eyes flicker open, almost immediately landing on her by the window.

       “Hey,” she yawns, stretching as she sits up. “You okay?”

       Red shrugs helplessly. She’s really not.

       “Okay, um,” Chloe rubs at her eyes before letting her hands fall into her lap. “Are we still going to go to graduation today?”

       The entire school is supposed to be in attendance for senior graduation, and even Auradon Intermediate crosses the street to sit in for the event as royals and other high appointed officials from across the land come to watch their kids walk across the stage and receive a diploma.

       For the past week, the Tourney field has been closed off under the construction of an outdoor stage, and more seating was brought in. It seems to be a large affair with the exactly right kind of people in attendance needed for a coup.

       Red stares at the roped off king and queen box every time she passes a window, and can’t help picturing the field she likes to lay out on and stare at the stars, bathed in red. She can imagine the squelch of her feet sinking into the earth and the sticky, inky, congeeling feel on her skin.

       She doesn’t know why Chloe asks if they’re going, as if that’s an option. She can’t not go.

       Red turns to the outfit waiting on her bed. Chloe’s mom had taken her to get it, and even let her pick it out. She’s never been fond of the ceremonial dress clothes and finery. It makes her uncomfortable and feel even more like a doll for her mother to dress up and show off. But she kind of likes this one with the sleek black pants and feminine cut blouse that hangs untucked and the color of her hair. She has a black vest to wear over top with stitching the same color as the blouse to weave a fascinating embroidery of swirling patterns.

       She’s absently aware as Chloe slides out of bed and disappears into the bathroom.

       When Red finishes the last touches of Chloe’s makeup, she feels a bit steadier. Being near Chloe always makes her feel steadier. Especially when Chloe offers out her hand for Red to help her down from the counter with a lopsided smile.

       “Breakfast?”

       Red takes the hand, entwining their fingers

       They move through the lines peacefully with little to no words. The cafeteria is nearly empty with most people intending to sleep in. Red supposes that makes sense. She would sleep in, too, if she could. She would sleep the whole day away until it’d be tomorrow.

       They are nearing the end of their somber meal when Amerie appears from nowhere.

       Red flinches as the girl attaches herself to Chloe’s back with a high pitched sound of excitement. “Last day! I’m so excited to be going home today. I love you, I love Auradon, but I am in much need of a good long break from classes.” She slides sideways, practically melting into the chair next to her. “God, I can’t wait to go back home and get some real Corona food. Auradon tries, but it just never tastes the same and leaves me homesick.” She slumps against the table before almost immediately perking up.

       Red has grown… she wouldn’t exactly say accustomed, but she’s getting better at following along to the tangents and shifting moods of her girlfriend’s friend, instead of being completely lost at the start of every conversation.

       Amerie peeks around Chloe to stare at her. “What are you looking forward to most about summer, Red?”

       “Red’s not talking right now,” Chloe answers as Red just blinks. Then blinks some more and glances at her girlfriend.

       She hadn’t realized that she wasn’t talking. Is that why Chloe has been so quiet all morning? She had kind of just assumed it was because after a trip to Wonderland, her friend felt the impending doom hanging over them, too.

       Red opens her mouth to argue that, but the words get lost somewhere between her brain and her vocal cords. Chloe bumps their elbows together with a smile, “It’s fine, Red, we can come back to it.”

       “Hey guys, what’s going on?” Jada says, tray clattering as she slides into the seat across from them.

       “Red’s not talking right now,” Amerie informs her, taking a bite of her waffles.

       “Oh that’s cool,” Jada says, “You finish packing already, or do you want help before we’re supposed to be at the ceremony?”

       “Oh, would you really? I totally fell asleep slumped over my suitcase last night.”

       Red pushes her empty plate away and lays her head in her folded arms. Chloe’s hands are soon threading through her hair and scratching at her scalp, and she allows her eyes to close and shoulders relax. Her girlfriend’s friends aren’t so bad to be around.

       “Hey guys, what’s up with Red?”

       “She’s just tired, it’s fine. Sit down and tell us your summer plans.”

………………

Red has never been in a crowd so large before, and it makes her incredibly nervous as they try to navigate through it. She can hardly see where they are going as Chloe leads them along, and Red just clutches tightly onto her hand.

       It’s fine, everything is fine, she tries to tell herself. But she also can’t help imagining all of these people laying dead on the ground despite all of the Auradon guards standing on the outskirts.

       Uma really had prepared. They line the border of the chairs and a dozen more surround the stage. Even Chloe is wearing her sword on the hip of her semi-formal dress.

       “Red, Chloe- there you are!” A voice calls as the crowd almost seems to magically part from around them. Red’s vision is engulfed in blue as Chloe’s mom tugs first her daughter, and then Red, into a hug.

       She almost melts into the embrace as she’s squeezed tightly.

       “You girls all packed and ready?” Chloe’s dad asks, lightly touching Red’s shoulder as his wife pulls away.

       “Red hasn’t even started yet,” Chloe huffs.

       Red really couldn’t bring herself to. She’s tried, but every time she has attempted, she just ends up staring at the stupid bear on her bed and- not. She just… doesn’t really believe she’s going to be going home with the Charmings today.

       “Well, we’ll just have to work on getting you packed up together,” Ella says, pushing some hair behind Red’s ear and touching her face.

       And Red still doesn’t understand it. How the same touch from Chloe feels so vastly different than when her mom does it.

       Red’s longing is broken as an arm wraps around her neck, forcefully pulling her into an armpit as another hand grinds into the top of her head just shy of painful. It messes up her hair entirely, though, and she has to use both hands to shove herself away.

       She growls, glaring in irritation at the white grin of her girlfriend’s brother.

       “Strawberry!” he laughs. He reaches for Chloe next, but she draws her sword halfway out of the scabbard to hit him with the back of the hilt square in the stomach. He bends nearly double, losing his breath. “Good to see you, too, sis,” he gasps.

       “Feel free to hit him,” Chloe says, glaring at him in similar irritation.

       Red can’t imagine doing that, though, no matter how annoying it was to be manhandled. It’s not like it was a genuine attack meant to hurt her. Her hair is just messed up.

       “Hey now, no need for hitting. I’m just trying to get Red used to what it’s like to have an older brother,” Chad grimaces, side stepping away.

       “Then she has free reign to beat you up like a younger sister, too.”

       “Mom, Chloe’s being mean to me,” he says, dodging behind his parents.

       “Then don’t instigate things with her, dear,” Ella says with an amused smile. “Shall we find our seats?”

       Other than the first two rows, the seating on the grass is meant for the family and friends in attendance for the individuals graduating. Red feels… weird that she’s one of those people, when she really ought to be in the stands with the rest of the school. But she remains securely held at Chloe’s side by her captured hand, and the queen on her other side.

       The ceremony, once it starts, is actually rather boring. It seems to be just speech after speech, and then Principal Uma is reading names off of a list and people file onto stage one by one.

       It seemed inevitable, to Red, that everything would go wrong. And it does go wrong.

       A shout rings out, metal slamming against metal thrice- a warning- interrupting the procession of students, and Principal Uma instantly abandons her place, coming to the front of the stage.

       “Everyone move to the evacuation points,” she commands, calmly drawing her sword from its scabbard.

       Red jolts to her feet, twisting around to see, searching, and her eyes fall on the treeline. On the sea of red marching out of it, row after row. She swallows, thickly. It’s not just her mother’s silver deck- her most loyal and vicious elites. It’s all four of her decks. Who is in Wonderland ensuring that order is kept?

       A hand tugs at her, and she takes a reflexive step before stopping, straining to see through the panicking crowd around her. Searching the line of her mother’s army. She can hear the rhythmic march now, a sound that sometimes plays in her head when it gets too quiet.

       It doesn’t take long for the Wonderland guards and the Auradon guards to meet in a clash of shields and weapons. As they do, magic hisses through the air in a show of lights, before cards expand into eight foot walls that slam into the earth, corralling the fleeing civilians back toward the field.

       Red’s eyes, though, are riveted on finding where the magic originated- a glint, a glimpse, anything.

       She was right that the Auradon knights haven’t ever seen real combat. The first few are cut down violently in a shower of blood that stuns the guards on either side of them. The knights in gold quickly descend into panic and chaos as those in their ranks fall under the spears and axes that the Crimson army wields with deadly abandon.

       Her mother marches forward, a path opening up seamlessly before her as her ornate dress drags over a blood soaked path up to the stage. The sun glints like fire off the queen’s tall ruby crown as she turns slowly to observe the fighting spilling out over the chairs.

       The screams splitting the air raise every hair on Red’s body where she remains frozen.

       Her mother is not smiling in victory. She watches with a stormy, dark look. Like her only want in this moment is blood and destruction.

       There is a roar that shakes the ground, and a dragon lifts off the grass, bounding over the fleeing citizens into the crowd of red armored soldiers. It stomps and nearly bites one soldier in half, but the fae queen’s movements are hampered by the presence of the rest of her guard scattered through the fray.

       Red flinches as a knight in gold armor goes crashing through the chair next to her, and Chad tries to drag her farther away, shoving her behind him. He yanks the knight’s fallen sword from the ground, brandishing it outward, and Red stares at the still body and growing pool. There is no mad scramble or confusion over where his head went. He’s just dead.

       She hears her principal’s scream rise up above all the others, distinct, and her heart thuds. It hurts. There is a ringing in her ears. There is also a hand wrapped around her arm, pulling her back, but she doesn’t know who. She can’t think past the screams. Past the blood. Past her tunneling vision of the severe figure standing above it all- watching.

       She suddenly finds herself moving forward, ripping her arm free of the hold, and rushing over bodies and upturned earth- up the steps to the stage.

       “Mom!” she shouts, blind to everything else. Everything else is- too much. “Stop it- just stop it!”

       The Queen of Hearts turns, and finally her mouth lifts into something resembling a smile, if it weren’t for the glint in her narrowed eyes. “There you are, Red.”

       “Leave them alone,” she boldly demands, “They haven’t done anything to you.”

       “They stole you from me!” she shrieks, entire body rocking back with the force of it. It echoes through the field like a dragon’s war cry. It freezes the soldier cards, freezes Red, in place. “The future was ours, and then they took it!”

       A restless shuffle goes through her mother’s soldiers, and they close ranks, backing up toward the stage. Blocking Red off from the rest of her classmates. From the Charmings.

       “No, you drove me away!” Red shrieks back, feeling that old anger and madness rising up, and with the fighting and blood all around her, she doesn’t have the mind to contain it. Her arm is caught again as she staggers, and she doesn’t care if it’s a guard to drag her away or chop off her head. “You took my heart, took my friends. All my life, you took anything that gave me a semblance of happiness.”

       “Everything I’ve done, was for you- to make you strong. To protect you,” she snarls back. 

       “No- you don’t get to say that! The only one I ever needed protection from was you. No one hurt me. You are the only one who ever hurt me. So don’t claim this was all for me. I don’t want this, I never wanted this.” Red feels the heat of tears, of grief, thick in her throat, but tears don’t move the Queen of Hearts. They never have.

       They exasperate her- make her roll her eyes. When it’s Red’s tears, she gets furious. So Red doesn’t let them fall. She lets her anger burn in their place.

       “Never wanted what,” her mother asks, biting and low. “Power? Respect? The unflinching loyalty of your people?”

       “This isn’t loyalty,” she gestures sharply at one soldier, in pieces from a dragon’s claws, trying to collect his limbs. The dragon’s teeth glint, bent low in front of a crowd of children. The king stands tall at her shoulder, sword glinting in the afternoon sun, stained in blood. The other card soldiers have only stopped their unending, hopeless charge, to close ranks on their mad queen. “It’s fear. Fear until there is nothing left. Of your people. So congratulations. You’re a queen of puppets,” she gestures again, this time to the soldier hovering at her mother’s side, silver mask fitted over his face. Brainwashed. A kid who dared to act out- who wasn’t perfect, so was forced to be.

       Her mother stares at her across the stage. The perfect rendition of the Look. The Look that wilts subjects in their place and curls Red’s shoulders toward her ears even now.

       “...Bring her to me,” she demands, and the same soldier she had indicated instantly moves forward.

       Before Red can tense further, the hand wrapped around her arm disappears as the person behind her darts past and collides with the approaching soldier in a clash of swords.

       “You!” her mother snarls, just as Red processes the dress, the curly hair, the color.

       “Chloe!” Red screams as the soldier slashes. Blood droplets splatter the stage. She hadn’t realized that her girlfriend had followed her. Why did she follow her? Why didn’t she stay with her family?

       The fight moves in a blur of limbs and metal as Red’s heart feels like it’s going to beat out of its box- like her ticking will loose gears and burst right out of her chest.

       Chloe is good. But she’s fighting to disarm, while her opponent is fighting to kill. His attacks are vicious and without restraint, and more blood splatters the ground. “Ace!” Red screams at the soldier- her mother’s Ace of Hearts. Her once friend. “Stop it- just stop it!”

       Chloe’s sword gets smacked, hard, right out of her hand. It goes clattering across the stage as the soldier plants a heavy boot into her stomach.

       The air leaving her is audible, and she dry-heaves as she catches herself heavily against the ground. Ace advances without pause, lifting his sword in a slashing strike, and Red’s body is again moving before she can think. She dives forward, lifting her arms to guard her face- her neck. Fire burns as the blade cuts deep.

       Red shrieks at the pain- an instant burst of gore seeping through her sleeves. She feels it in her bones. The sword might have hit bone. The pain travels straight to her elbows, piercing, and lancing ropes even further up to her shoulders and around her neck, choking her.

       A gauntleted hand grabs her, yanking her up from the ground, away from Chloe, and flinging her away. Red can’t even catch herself. The wood is instantly slick under her and her hands won’t work. She can’t feel them. Does she still have hands? Are they still there? All she sees is red, red, red, red redred-

       “Stop,” he mother demands harshly, freezing her soldier obediently in place. “Get her up.”

       Red blinks wildly against the tears and black spots in her eyes, determined to see what’s coming for her next even though that never helps. Seeing it coming is just as bad as closing her eyes tight and wishing for it to be over. But when her vision clears, it’s to see Ace grabbing Chloe roughly by the shoulders, lifting her to her knees.

       Her pretty dress is torn and blood spattered.

       She’s breathing heavily, cradling her stomach as she looks back at Red with wide, dilated eyes. Half of her face is drenched in blood from a cut splitting it. Red’s mother crosses to the edge of the stage and yanks a sword out of one of her soldier’s sheaths before turning. Her glare is unforgiving.

       “You are the one who stole from me, aren’t you?” she says striding forward. Red has never seen her mother actually carry the sword herself. It swings in a loose grip at her side, unnatural but still deadly. “Ella’s daughter.” She stops just in front of Red’s girlfriend and reaches out, long nails almost gently caressing the side of her face not dripping blood. “Do you know what kind of hypocrite your mother is?”

       “She didn’t mean to hurt you,” Chloe says, and somehow, her voice doesn’t shake. “She was late because she got grounded. She didn’t mean to stand you up, or leave you to face your bully alone.”

       Red watches her mother flinch, hand pulling back in shock. Then her eyes flash with fury and she takes a step back. “You’re not from Wonderland, so it’s understandable that you must not realize what theft gets you,” she bites sharply. “Tell her, Red, what punishment is it for stealing from me?”

       “No, no, no,” Red murmurs, hands sliding against the ground as she rolls onto her knees. And she does still have hands. They shake under her weight and bump into something cold and hard. She grasps it blindly, even though she can’t feel her fingers.

       Chloe starts squirming as the Queen hefts the sword. “Wait,” she murmurs, realization slowly dawning on her face. Becoming real. “Wait, wait, wait, waitwait,” the princess chants, panic bleeding into her voice, with wide eyes riveted to the blade as she tries to twist in Ace’s grip.

       “That’s right,” her mother says softly. “Off. With. Your-” 

       .

                    .

                               .

                                           She chokes.

                                                                         .

                                                                                      .

                                                                                                        .

       The following silence would be deafening if Red could hear past her own heavy breathing.

       Her mother turns very slowly to face her, eyes surprised. Full of hurt. Full of devastating betrayal. And then she falls backward and hits the stage with a heavy thud, Chloe’s fallen sword embedded through her ribs.

       Red’s hands shake. Her whole body does as her mother’s blood pools around her ruined shoes, as vivid and bold as the color of her name.

       Her vision swims, and she staggers, but hands are abruptly holding her up, trying to stem the flow streaming out of her wounds and keep it from adding to the expanding puddle of gore.

       “Red?” Red blinks, meeting brown eyes. She doesn’t know when those eyes stepped in front of the image of her mother, but she can still see it. An afterimage. So strange, so… sudden. “Red,” Chloe repeats, more insistent.

       Red blinks again, processes that it’s Chloe in front of her, no longer kneeling and waiting for death, and she turns her head, searching-

       The Ace of Hearts is on one knee, head bowed. She turns again, and the world is moving in waves under her feet, but it looks like she has the entirety of Wonderland and Auradon looking at her.

       Jack from her mother’s silver deck clears his throat and steps forward, projecting his voice loud enough to make it past even Red’s ringing ears. “Long live the Queen!”

       Her heart jolts in fear at the resounding echo from her mother’s army, “Long live the Queen!” and there is a wave of movement that she originally thinks is just her tunneling vision. But it’s not. The crowd is moving, it just doesn’t make sense.

       Chloe catches her again as her legs buckle- as every card soldier kneels, bowing their heads. To her. Red.

Chapter Text

The following hours pass in fragments. Telling her mother’s soldiers- her soldiers now- to stand down. Looking down at her mother’s body, dress still glittering in jewels, while someone tried to gently guide her away. Someone stitching up her arms as she sits on the edge of the stage.

       At one point, there is someone’s head in her hands. She thinks she was trying to find the body it belonged to. She has an image of Chloe bent double, vomiting in the grass.

       The Ace of Hearts follows her around the entire time, a silent guarding shadow that keeps people away. Or it’s the mere image of her, bathed in blood, that keeps them back. She’s not sure. She can’t find it in her to care.

       At another point, she’s staring at the masked visage of her shadow, and she pulls a loose pin out of her hair. She steps forward, shoving it into the locked strap under his chin, and after a moment, it comes loose. Red tears the helmet off and stares into confused, vaguely familiar but mostly foreign eyes.

       The hazel gaze blinked at her. “R-Red?”

       “Hi, Ace,” she had responded, and then he had lunged forward to yank her into a hug. It’s different from the last time she was in his arms, because years have passed and he’s grown. Red’s head cranes back uncomfortably under his crushing hold, but she doesn’t fight it. She stands limp. Numb.

       She floats away.

       There is her principal, alive, in front of her with only a bandaged arm, mouth moving without sound, for a moment, and then she’s at a distance, giving orders in the next.

       The days are just as fragmented. One minute, she’s standing in the Tourney field surrounded by bodies, the next she is standing in a bathroom, staring at the tile that runs pink under her feet, with gentle hands running over her. She closes her eyes and turns her head up into the spray because it feels nice.

       Then she’s in her room for a while. The principal’s office. A room she’s never been in before with a long stretching table in which a bunch of adults argue around her. They are like annoying, buzzing, bugs in her skull. Something about her. Something about her mother.

       She’s not sure if she sleeps. If she does, it must be dreamless, which almost makes it worth the gaping holes in her memory.

       She doesn’t know who she will be when she starts feeling again. Surely someone who still killed her mother. Still someone who is woefully unqualified to lead anyone, much less a kingdom she has always wanted to escape (a kingdom she feels no attachment to).

       The only thing she does know for sure, when she eventually comes back to herself, is that there is a comforting weight enveloping her hand through everything.

       There’s nothing really momentous when she suddenly finds herself existing again. It’s a slow process, little things trickling into her awareness. That it’s dark. That she’s laying down in bed. The gentle throbbing in her arms kickstarts her brain, reminding her of the mess that happened. Graduation, her mother, the army. The blood.

       Red sits up, sliding out of bed, before the back of her shirt is caught. And then she becomes aware of the other person in her bed. Chloe sighs, gently tugging on Red’s shirt without opening her eyes. “Come back to bed, baby.”

       “I need to- my mom’s soldiers-”

       “You already took care of that. Come back to bed. It’s okay. Everything is okay,” she mumbles, and Red doesn’t know how accurate that is. There was… arguing. About Red. About Wonderland.

       “Did I send them back to Wonderland?” Red asks, trying to remember, but it’s blank.

       Chloe is quiet for a moment. Then she abruptly sits up and flicks on a lamp to stare at Red. Red flinches at the sight of her girlfriend’s face, the dim light casting it into harsh shadow that highlights the line of stitches cutting across her right cheekbone.

       “Red…?” she breathes as Red’s almost-trains-of-thought take a sudden detour off a cliff. She sinks back onto the bed, reaching out to hover a hand over the wound.

       Chloe was hurt. Her mother hurt Chloe. Her mother was going to-

       That’s when her emotions finally surface. Mostly guilt. And overwhelming grief. Tears quickly pour out of Red’s eyes, blurring her vision, and she lets out a sob. “I’m sorry,” she gasps out, staring at the injury, “I’m so sorry.”

       Chloe’s eyes well up and spill over, too, as she reaches back, attempting to brush Red’s tears away despite them almost instantly being replaced by new ones. Red wants to wipe Chloe’s, too, but the drops get caught in the stitches, following the line down her cheek, and Red doesn’t want to hurt her further.

       “It’s okay,” she says wetly, pressing their foreheads together and almost petting her. “It’s okay, it wasn’t your fault. None of this was your fault. You did so well, baby, I’m so proud of you.”

       “I killed her- I killed-”

       “It’s not your fault. You saved me. You saved so many people.” Red gets a dozen damp kisses pressed into her face, the side of her head, down her neck.

       “You’re parents-” Red chokes, fear going down her spine, like she’s facing her mother on that stage once more. Will she ever not be scared? “Chad-” She can’t remember seeing them in her flashes of memory.

       “They’re safe, baby. We’re all safe now.”

       “Who all… I mean, how many…” she doesn’t know if she wants to know a number.

       “The only deaths were members of the guard. A little under two dozen on Auradon’s side. The casualties are much higher, but most of the civilians are pretty much unharmed.”

       Red breathes out, and it’s snotty and gross. She tries to stem it with her sleeve, only to discover she’s in a t-shirt. A blue one. Her eyes catch sight of the line of stitching on her own arms, angry and red and long. She remembers the fire that was along her bones. The feel of the blood slick stage and the cold numbing her fingertips. She doesn’t know how she managed to curl them around the hilt of the sword.

       Red gets a dozen more kisses. “Are you- are you okay,” she gets out as Chloe’s tears continue falling and she continues sniffling while touching Red like she’s afraid she might disappear.

       “It’s just,” Chloe hiccups, “it’s been days, Red. And I wasn’t sure… I was worried that… you wouldn’t come back to me.”

       “Oh,” Red murmurs, guiltily accepting another bombardment of touches in the form of Chloe crawling into her lap and fisting hands in her shirt. “How many days?”

       “Four,” she sighs, pressing her forehead into Red’s shoulder. Red very carefully starts carding her fingers through her hair. “There’s been a lot of meetings. Mom and dad are staying in Fairy Godmother’s cottage, but Uma thought staying somewhere familiar would be better for you to… recover. We’ve all been worried.”

       Red holds her tongue for the amount of time it takes for her girlfriend to stop sniffling into her neck. She’s been the one to comfort Chloe only a handful of times, and it’s… weird, honestly. Unnatural feeling- not like how natural Chloe seems to react when she’s the one calming Red down. But Red… enjoys is the wrong word. She despises when Chloe is upset, but she wouldn’t trade them. She’s glad to be the one to offer her comfort. Glad that she can (treasures- that’s the right word; she treasures the moments she feels like she can give back a fraction of the comfort Chloe always gives her).

       So Red doesn’t hurry Chloe along to just be suddenly better. Putting yourself together, in any real way outside of barely functioning, takes time.

       Red just holds her until the sniffling stops. Until the lazy sun starts to shine through the window and Chloe starts to draw little patterns into her back. Only then does she venture to ask, “What happened after I killed my mother?”

       Chloe pulls away, sliding off of Red’s lap to sit on the edge of the bed by her hip. She doesn’t try to hide the fact that she’s wiping off old tears. She’s never tried to hide the fact that she’s cried. Even when Red is the one who made her.

       “The battle was over after that. All the card soldiers switched their allegiance to you, declaring you the new Queen of Wonderland, and you ordered them to stand down. Since then, they’ve just been, um,” Chloe gestures at the window, “camped out on the lawn.” Red stands from her bed, crossing to the window to peek out. A makeshift sort of camp has been set up outside the dorm building. “Queen Mal has them being watched, but, since they’re not really doing anything, she’s leaving them be. But they’re refusing to go back to Wonderland without your orders.”

       “I don’t know how to be queen,” Red mumbles, looking out at the army that blindly followed her mother’s orders all her life. Those same soldiers who hunted her, and dragged her to the dungeons, and whipped her under the old queen’s orders. They never blinked, never hesitated. Now they’re waiting for her orders? “I don’t want to be queen.”

       “I know,” Chloe murmurs, “but, Red, this is a good thing. Things for Wonderland can be different now. You can make them different.”

       “I don’t know how,” she growls, glaring out the window.

       “There’s another meeting this morning with the arrival of the other kingdoms that weren’t present for Graduation, about what’s to happen to Wonderland. You should be there.”

       “Let them decide. I don’t care.”

       Chloe comes up behind her, touching her shoulder. “Yes you do,” she says softly. “What about Ace?”

       Red stiffens. “What about him?”

       “He’s part of Wonderland. And Chester. And Maddox.”

       “Yeah, and how’d me caring turn out for them?”

       “Red,” she sighs, and wraps her arms fully around her. “It’s different now. It’s okay to care. Bad things will happen, but it’s not because you care. The world as a whole isn’t out to get you.”

       “No, just my mom,” Red sighs, leaning back against her girlfriend.

       “And she’s gone,” Chloe confirms gently. Because Red killed her.

       A knock sounds at the door, and Chloe pulls away. “That would be Maddox with breakfast,” she says. “He’ll be glad to see you’re feeling better. And Ace, if you’re up for it. He’s been hovering anxiously since you pulled his helmet off.”

       Red startles again. “What?”

       Chloe pauses on her way to the door, looking back at Red, and her expression crumples. “Oh, you don’t remember.”

       But Red is remembering, now. Reaching for a bobby pin and pulling the helmet away from sweat soaked hair. Confused eyes blinking at her.

       Chloe pulls open the door, ushering in Maddox and that very same boy.

       “How is she this morning; any improvement?” Maddox asks, carrying a tray full of a variety of foods. Half of them seem to be sweets, but Red feels no craving for them. She doesn’t feel hungry at all.

       Chloe tilts her head in Red’s direction with a large smile. “Ask her yourself,” she says.

       Both gazes whip to her, and the younger of the two springs forward. “Red!” He says, reaching for her. Red stiffens at first, then quickly clings back. Her cheek presses against the hard plates of his armor. For some reason, he’s still wearing his armor.

       “Ace,” Red murmurs. “You’re… you’re you.”

       “Yeah, thanks to you, Princess. Or, er, my Queen? That’s gonna take some getting used to.”

       “Do you… remember anything?” Red asks slowly. She feels strange when he pulls away. Slow to react. Slow mentally. Her arms hover, unsure what to do before they finally drop to her sides.

       “Nothing.” He lifts his hand to rub at the back of his neck- a nervous move she’s seen him do numerous times during their short friendship. But his gauntleted hand passes by Red’s face, and she flinches away from it. He freezes, and slowly lowers it back down. “Sorry,” he says, looking so mournful. “Maddox has filled me in about the past few years. Seems everything's gone spades up since then, huh?”

       “You could say that.” She feels weird. She feels… still. Not like she isn’t here- just- still. Lost.

       “But, hey, things won’t be so bad now that you’re in charge. We can find Chester and get the Party Planning Committee back together and… wake everyone up.” He sounds so enthusiastic, but there is something about it that rings as false. Fake. There is a wrinkle in his forehead that becomes deeper etched the longer he looks at her. Like- he’s trying to figure out who she is.

       That’s fair. It’s been years. She’s not the same person she was when they met.

       Chloe clears her throat, drawing both of their attention. “Red needs to eat before the meeting.”

       Ace straightens. “Right, of course. I’ll be at my post if you need me.”

       “Post?” Red asks, following Chloe’s prompting into the chair at her desk. It should be bare. Chloe packed away all her things- her pictures and trinkets- days ago, before the Graduation ceremony. So Red falters at the small collection of items sitting on one of the edges.

       “Just outside the door. He’s been standing guard.” Red reaches out a shaking hand and touches the sparkling rubies inlaid in the tall crown. Chloe notices, and her hands flutter nervously. “Oh, they brought your mother’s personal effects the other day. I didn’t… really know what to do with them.”

       Red’s hand drifts down to touch the necklace. Then her eye catches something else. Something heart shaped and jeweled- something she’d only ever seen once before- and she snatches it up. The last time she looked into it, it showed Red standing beside her mother with her own crown and dead expression. A future where they looked exactly alike.

       But that can’t happen now, right? Or will she just be standing alone, now, still the perfect copy of her mother?

       “What’s that?” Chloe asks.

       “The Looking Glass,” Red answers, and flips it open. “It shows the futur-”

       Her throat abruptly closes, cutting her off.

       She can feel her girlfriend’s heat as she leans forward to look into the mirror over her shoulder. “Is that us?”

       Red reaches out with a finger, gently tracing the curve of the magical artifact. Her mother’s words, “They stole you from me!” ring in her ears. Did she mean Red’s heart, or this- the future, she wonders.

        “Yeah,” she breathes, heart racing. Looking back at them, in the image, is Chloe and Red.

       Red looks… very royal sitting in Wonderland’s throne room and dress as fancy as any queen’s. That is the only similarity to the last time she saw herself in this mirror. Because in this refracted image, her hair hangs as free and wild as it always is, and she’s smiling. Smiling at Chloe, who stands tall beside her chair, as if she had just said something witty and knows her companion is trying not to laugh.

       Chloe is in a uniform Red has only seen in old portraits- a military one that was worn back before Red’s mother took the throne and did away with anything formal to ensure her troops were always battle ready. The only ceremonies they would be in attendance for, would be as guards.

       There are a lot of details in this one image that Red could spend hours observing, but the one that draws most of her focus, are the matching crowns resting on their heads. Not the extravagant, tall, crown that Red has seen her mother wear all her life, but delicate and small with clear heart shaped diamonds instead of blood red rubies. They are undeniably part of a set.

       As Red observes the two equals in the image, she thinks that being queen wouldn’t be so bad if she had Chloe with her. She exhales as she closes the mirror. “Okay,” she murmurs. “Let’s go to the meeting.”

       Chloe kisses her on the side of the head before straightening. “Eat something first. We have time and I need to call my mom.”

       The first thing Chloe’s parents do, when they see Red just outside the council meeting doors, is hug her. Ella in front of her, pushing her hair out of her face and cupping her jaw, and Christopher’s hand on her back as Chad hovers somberly nearby. Red had asked Chloe, once, how she could still love her brother when he gets on her nerves so entirely.

       She had simply said, “Siblings fight, and get on each other’s nerves, and no one can hurt your feelings more than an older brother can. But there is also no bigger supporter. Chad is an idiot a lot of times, but he’s there when it counts. Like, he’s the one who pushed for the rule change to allow girls on the Swords and Shields team in Ellasburg.” After the events at graduation, she can see what her girlfriend meant.

       “How are you doing, Strawberry?” Chad asks, more careful than usual.

       “Fine,” Red says, offering him a small smile. He had tried to protect Red that day, too, shoving her behind him. It was stupid and useless, but it’s strange to learn that he cares that much.

       Red gets many looks as she settles into her seat, and she finds her expression automatically smoothing out into something unreadable. She recognizes hardly anyone at the table. She gets a nod from Mal and the king. A small smile from Evie. A few other people offer her small smiles, while others look at her distrustfully.

       Chloe’s hand in hers is a soothing presence, as is the rest of the Charmings surrounding her.

       “Shall we get started?” Queen Mal asks, addressing the room.

       One royal immediately leans forward to ask, “Why are there Wonderland soldiers still sitting outside the school.”

       “They are reluctant to return home without their queen,” King Ben informs calmly.

       “So give them the Queen of Heart’s body and send them on their way.”

       A throat is cleared and eyes darted pointedly at Red. “I believe his Majesty means their new Queen.”

       “So send her away, too. This little experiment was clearly a mistake. A dozen guards- dead- at Graduation. This could have gone so much worse. It was only luck that no civilians were killed. Our kids.” His narrowed eyes turn to Red briefly, before glaring around the room in challenge.

       “I wouldn’t call a dragon, or all that over-the-top security, luck,” someone else mutters.

       “May I remind you that Red is a kid, too?” Mal breaks in warningly.

       “A kid raised by that tyrant-”

       “A kid who defeated that tyrant-” Chad mutters on Red’s other side.

       “-Who, from all reposts, practically behaves just like her. Yelling, screaming, threats. I understand, your majesty, that you have a soft spot for broken things-” Several voices raise in protest at that, but nothing screams louder than the cold look Mal levels on the man. Chloe’s hand is constricting around hers, and when Red glances over, her face is painted in fury.

       “Okay,” King Ben speaks up, placing a calming hand on his wife’s shoulder while looking over the table. “Let’s steer away from that kind of language. We have to remember the kind of backgrounds different people come from. We have the experience of how that can look, and I have received the same reports as you have. And what you seem to be disregarding is the way Princess Red’s behavior has evolved since being granted asylum.”

       One woman raises her hand slightly, shooting Red an apologetic look. “I was in attendance at Graduation, so I saw first hand this girl’s bravery in standing up to her mother, but I think the question needs to be posed on if she’s fit to take on the mantle of Queen of Wonderland. She has undergone a great deal of trauma, not just at Graduation, but likely her whole life, and Wonderland will need someone experienced and sure to lead it away from what it currently is while controlling the chaos that comes from an abrupt change in power.”

       Red resists sinking into her seat, unable to help the agreement turning in her gut. The pit of dread grows at the chorused murmurs of agreement. Despite that, her spine stiffens and straightens under the sympathetic glances.

       “Perhaps that is precisely why it needs to be Red. Wonderland would accept no other leader. Despite Bridget…” Ella takes a deep breath, eyes falling closed for a moment of visible grief before they flicker open as she corrects herself, “...the Queen of Hearts… being as cruel as she was, she was theirs, and Wonderland was hers. Besides, we have no right to say Red is not fit, when Wonderland is not even part of the United States of Auradon.”

       Red stares at her girlfriend’s mom.

       “Be that as it may, Auradon still has a responsibility to her highness, Red of Hearts, and her wellbeing.” For the first time the entire meeting, Red is addressed directly as Mal turns to look at her. “Red, do you have a regent, or anyone who can take the throne until you are ready?”

       If Red doesn’t, are they going to appoint one of these people, who know nothing of her or Wonderland? They’d get lost as soon as they stepped out of the rabbit hole. Wonderland isn’t like Auradon- the people and the customs that even her mother respected and left alone.

       Chloe squeezes her hand again, and Red glances over. And then she looks past her girlfriend to her girlfriend’s mother, who is giving her an encouraging smile, and who has always been kind to her. Who knows things about Wonderland because she was once close to a girl who was from Wonderland. Who might even have known the real Wonderland, before her mother warped it.

       Red turns back to the high queen. “Ella Charming,” she says, ignoring the startles around the room, including from the woman herself.

       Mal’s lips twitch. “Does anyone take issue with Queen Ella’s ability to rule?” she asks the table at large, and not one person moves to protest. Ella and Christopher exchange looks, and then the king’s hand moves to grip hers, and he gives a small nod. “Then for the next two years, she will act as queen regent to Wonderland. While my husband took the crown at 16, he was adequately prepared to do so and had an abundance of support. Princess Red, you are welcome to continue classes at Auradon prep, while Queen Ella continues your training during the summers. Is this way forward agreeable to you?” Mal asks Red.

       It’s… the best that Red could have asked for. Time. 

       Mal again looks at the others around the table. “Does anyone else have anything to add?”

       “Does this mean Wonderland will be joining the United States of Auradon?” someone asks.

       “That is something to be discussed at a later date. Once Wonderland is stabilized and their rightful ruler is ready to take the throne. For now,” she says, glancing at Red again, and it does feel like she’s talking directly to her, “allies.”

       King Ben stands from the table, and there is a flood of everyone else rising as well. It takes Red a moment to realize it’s some formal custom before she follows suit a moment behind. “Meeting adjourned,” he says.

       Red winces as Ella immediately turns to her. “I’m sorry,” she says hurriedly, pleadingly, “I know it’s a lot, I know I didn’t ask, it’s just that I didn’t know what else to say and I trust you and I-”

       “Sweetheart, it’s okay,” she says, reaching out and smoothing her hands down Red’s arms. “It’s okay. Whatever you need from us, we’ll work it out. We are here to support you any way we can, especially if that means giving you more time to just be a kid.”

       “We got you kiddo,” Christopher says, placing a hand on top of Red’s head. “1000%”

       “Red,” a voice calls before she can do something stupid- like start crying again- and Red turns her attention to the dragon queen approaching them. She smiles a surprisingly soft smile. “I’m glad to see you’re feeling better.”

       “Thank you, your majesty.”

       “Just Mal is fine,” she says. Her eyes flick around the group of Charmings, lingering almost fondly on Red and Chloe’s entwined hands, before looking back at Red. “Fairy Godmother is working on a more permanent key to access the rabbit hole. Unfortunately, until Wonderland is stabilized, the barrier will have to remain in effect to control access in and out. You should have it by the end of the day. Do me a favor, though, would you? Before you go, stop by and visit Uma. She’s been… irritable the past few days.”

       “Why would a visit from me help? I’m the one that usually irritates her.”

       Red flinches as a fist lightly knocks against the side of her head. “Idiot,” Chloe says fondly. “It’s because she cares about you.”

       “Charming’s got the right idea of it,” Mal says, pleased. She takes a step back. “I’ll leave you to your preparations, then. And if you need anything at all, let me know. Seriously. Have your girlfriend call Evie. No matter what I’m doing, she can get in contact with me.”

       Mal takes her leave, leaving Red a bit lost on why she cares at all considering the mess Red has brought to her kingdom, and that this is only their second time meeting.

       “Come on,” Chloe says, tugging on her hand and bringing her out of her staring. “Sounds like it’s finally time for you to actually start packing.”

       “Yeah,” Red agrees softly. She knew she wouldn’t be going home with the Charmings after graduation.

Chapter Text

If the last few days felt fragmented and like a dream, the next few days are all too real and raw. Red always knew she would one day be queen. Her mother had her whole life planned out, and it seemed no matter what she did, it was always to have the same result.

       She hadn’t pictured it in this way before- her mother gone- Red free. Mostly free. Even with her mother’s body rattling around the trunk of the car, Red feels her presence- like her narrowed eyes are boring into her, judging her decisions.

       It’s fine at first. She even feels a bit hopeful as Chloe and Ella help pack her things and Chad and Christopher carry them down to the car.

       She feels comforted as Uma takes one look at her after knocking on her door and rolls her eyes. “Fucking hell, kid. Next time you decide to take a vacation, why don’t you actually do it somewhere nice. I know that head of yours isn’t.”

       The oppressing feel of her mother’s eyes come in the form of almost 200 soldiers standing at attention when Red walks out onto the lawn, ever present and watching her- waiting for her to finally step into her role.

       When Chloe tried to take her hand, it was like she felt her mother’s nails tightening into her shoulder, and she tugged it away, not willing to let her mother’s men see. No. Her men.

       “We are going back to Wonderland. Now.”

       The ride to the rabbit hole is stifling, like Auradon gravity is suddenly pressing down on her even more. By the time they reach it and wait for the last card soldier to make it through the barrier, Red has sweat through her clothes and she feels like she’s going to throw up.

       Chloe and Ace both keep shooting her worried glances, but after the second time Red withdraws from physical reassurance, Chloe has kept her hands to herself. Ace keeps staring at her, like he’s trying to figure her out. Like he’s trying to recognize her. To be fair, she’s doing the same to him.

       She suddenly wants to scream at Ella to turn around. To stop. Wait. Chloe shouldn’t be coming with them. Ella shouldn’t, either. It’s dangerous in Wonderland for the things that Red cares about. Why is Ace even following her back- he knows first hand how being close to her ends.

       Red works herself up so much that saliva starts flooding her mouth, and she desperately swallows against it. As they wind through the Tulgey wood, Ace and Maddox give directions to Ella, who is driving, and as the castle looms into view, Red can’t stop herself from leaning forward and throwing up onto the floorboards.

       Everything about being back in Wonderland is awful, from the stained cobblestones in the courtyard to the soldiers moving rhythmically through the castle. They surround them as they walk, almost like when her mother has her retrieved to ensure her presence. She’s not a prisoner this time, though, she tells herself.

       Red gives Ella her mother’s room. When they start cleaning it out, Ella and Chloe keep trying to prompt her into going through the things to find what she might wish to keep, but Red refuses to go anywhere near the door, let alone past the doorway (she barely managed to get her feet to carry her into the hallway). She can only watch, wide eyed, the things get piled up outside the door, and then taken away by the nervous frog butlers.

       Chloe eventually tugs Red away, leaving her mother with Maddox and Ace to organize things, and she urges Red to take her to her room. Then she watches the girl shuffle through the boxes already waiting for them, and drag out a deep blue comforter to throw across the blood red on the bed.

       “Leave your stitches alone, baby. Come on, let's go to bed. We can come up with a plan in the morning.”

The first few days in Wonderland are chaos as Ella tries to get a grasp of the laws and the way Wonderland is run (mainly in an iron grip that chokes the life out of everything). When Jack takes one of the frog butler’s heads off at the dinner table, Red doesn’t blink. Chloe had apologetically informed him that she was allergic to shellfish and tried to send the dish away- before the ax sliced through his neck. Red doesn’t blink at the wet thunk or the spray of red across the table sheet, but she watches, perplexed, as Chloe turns her head away and vomits onto the carpet.

       She wonders at that- when blood splashing at her shoes stopped turning her stomach. It’s funny that the sight of the castle had her spilling her breakfast, but she feels steady as stone watching the head bump against the table leg, and apathetic as she moves her own leg out of the way of the butler’s arms flailing around, as he searches for it. He still has his heart, so kicking his head toward him wouldn’t actually help any.

       Looking at Chloe become sick, it occurs to her that her reaction might be wrong. Especially when Chloe breaks down in sobs, seemingly out of nowhere, as they get ready for bed that night.

       The first formal address, after announcing Ella as regent queen, happens the day after that bloody dinner. It is that no punishment is to be given without trial before the acting queen.

       The next one that quickly follows, is a repeal of over a hundred of her mother’s stupid laws. Then the entire black deck of brainwashed soldiers have their masks removed. Some of them stay, because they’ve been ensnared for years, and they have nowhere else to go. Others go home.

       Is Red broken, she wonders the first time Chloe has a nightmare and Red shakes her awake. She waits for the mad scramble, the confusion and panic and maybe tears that come with still being stuck in her dream. But Chloe adjusts to being awake very quickly, moving from slightly breathless to sighing into Red’s neck as she wiggles into her lap.

       “Just a nightmare. It was graduation again and you were hurt. There was so much blood. I was so scared, Red.”

       Chloe just… starts talking about it. As if the words don’t get stuck in her throat and her brain doesn’t desperately skitter away from it even if the details are etched behind her eyes- in her skin- in her very bones. But she relaxes quickly against Red and yawns in her ear as if the nightmare were already fading. She falls back asleep long before Red is able to.

Chloe starts disappearing during most of the day to train with the Wonderland soldiers, both new recruits and old. The idea is to instill a new purpose. To not necessarily serve the crown, but to serve the people. Red knows this, because she went on the first day to watch and admire her girlfriend’s speech to the waiting army, but she had flown into a panic the moment a sword went swinging toward Chloe’s head.

       It was unanimously decided that Red shouldn’t watch sword practice.

       Instead, Red spends her days with Ella and Maddox in her mother’s forbidden library, sorting through legislature, or wandering the halls and resisting the urge to hide from guards when they happen upon her (she fails more often than not).

       A few days into that new routine, a cat appears on her window sill, grinning widely at her, which finally drives her into searching through her mother’s things, now stored in one of the unused rooms of the castle. She drags Ace away from training to help her, and they spend the next few days searching through spell books, sitting on the floor of that unimportant room and petting the cat who alternates laps every so often.

       “Are you sure this is Chester? He’s awfully cuddly. Ouch- he bit me!”

       Once Chloe catches wind of what they are doing, she sends a letter to her brother, who will be visiting in a couple days with some of Ella’s things. The day of his visit, she comes trotting into the room with a gallon jug of water. “Enchanted lake water. I heard Jane did this once, for King Ben.” She upended the water over top of the suddenly not grinning cat.

       Red throws herself, sobbing, onto the wet, flailing boy on the floor.

It’s… easier to be around Chester than Ace. She’s not entirely sure why- maybe because he was her first friend- the one she made all on her own. Maybe it’s because they naturally drift together when Ace and Chloe devolve into military talk and theory even when they are all hanging out in Red’s room together.

       “So the four decks- red, black, silver, and bronze- basically make a battalion, with each deck being the equivalent to a platoon, and each suit like a squad? And the ranks are obviously in ascending order up to Jacks, with the Queen being the overall queen for all the decks. So does that make aces high or low?”

       “High, but there is only one for each deck to oversee the Jacks. Hearts for the black deck that guard the castle, spades for silver- which is our elite force, diamonds for red to guard the capitol borders, and clubs for the bronze outer force. Actually, historically, the aces took orders directly from the king, who was always the head of the army.”

       “I thought Wonderland didn’t do things based off of gender.”

       “Well, having the title king didn’t necessarily make them a male. It’s just a title, and wasn’t even always the Queen’s spouse. It was someone who was trusted by the crown implicitly, and who had the combative knowledge to back it.”

       Red doesn’t mind when they devolved into shop talk, even if she doesn’t understand all of it. She knows her girlfriend has a fascination with history, and anything tactics, and she’s always asking Red about Wonderland. Ace has all sorts of knowledge that even Red never knew, particularly pertaining to the military side. Apparently, the card soldiers weren’t always expected to distance themselves from family, and that history was shared with him growing up.

       They are working together in this little pet project of reforming the Crimson Army, and Red is content to let them do what they want. They could recruit the flowers if they wished. Red doesn’t know what else the army has to do, now that they aren’t going around enforcing her mother’s ridiculous rules.

When it comes time to go back to Auradon Prep, things are… tense in Wonderland. Things are being changed at a rapid rate, the chains strangling the people loosening one by one, and the citizens don’t know what to make of it, or how to react. So when she and Chloe depart for the rabbithole, mostly it feels like the land and everyone living there is holding its breath.

       “It’s okay, Red, my mom can handle this.”

       “Yeah, you’ve found a super awesome lady to hold down the fort for you. Besides, she has me to protect her.”

       Red doesn’t know how comforting that is, knowing he only has three months worth of memory for training, but at least she can trust Maddox as Ella’s Wonderland advisor, and already the castle staff adore her.

The changes happen slowly over the next two years, though to Red, the changes feel very rapid.

       The first time Red and Chloe go back to visit, Red is surprised by them. The very first thing she notices is that the chopping block that has been in the courtyard longer than Red can remember, is nowhere to be seen, and the stained stones underneath it have been replaced.

       Red’s heart bed, and all of the heart decor, has been taken from her room, replaced with a large square mattress that Chloe immediately throws a pair of purple sheets on.

       “I asked mom to clean it out when she had time. We can decorate it however you want…”

       The biggest change, though, is in the people. At first, they don't trust the uplifting of the rules, but over time a few start testing it out. Then more. Until they realize they won’t be punished, and a cautious optimism seems to spread through the land.

       That caution becomes more prominent when they spot Red, reverting back to nervous, demuring, subjects, so Red doesn’t like to go out much, until Chloe starts dragging her through the city, stopping at stores and talking to the people Red always did her best to avoid. They smile when they learn that Chloe is Ella’s daughter, even if their spines straighten and sweat breaks out on their brows when they recognize Red.

       It probably doesn’t help that her face keeps falling into an instinctive, uncomfortable glower. Chloe’s way to combat this is to publicly admonish her. The shopkeepers nearly fail in smothering their surprised amusement when Chloe starts poking her on the nose every time she catches her pouting. Red’s mother would have it off with her hand. Red just takes it into hers to hold.

Most of Red’s days back in Wonderland are full of the lessons that Auradon doesn’t cover. They are lessons almost directly oppositional to the ones she received from her mother. They are definitely less daunting, and Chloe is beside her in almost every one. It’s never expressly brought up, but there is no question that Chloe will be right beside her in the coming years. Even when her mother returns home.

       When Ella does officially pass the throne off to Red, it’s a seamless transition with little flair about a year after graduation at Auradon Prep. She had spent that year basically acting in the Queen’s duties, but Ella was always right beside her, offering advice and guiding her choices.

       The first thing Red does as Queen, that same day, is knight Chloe as her King of Spades (technically, she shouldn’t take the Heart title except after an official joining, but Red’s intent for her girlfriend’s place beside her has always been clear). It was a long time coming, and no one is surprised by the appointment, least of all the rest of the soldiers who had basically already been taking orders from her since she stepped foot in Wonderland.

       Red generally tried to avoid interacting with the army in any sense (except for that first order after commanding their return to the rabbit hole- “Protect them. If Chloe or the queen regent is harmed in any way, I will have you dismembered and your pieces fed to the Jabberwock one by one.” Which, now that she’s thinking about it, is probably why Jack reacted so violently to the possibility of Chloe going into anaphylactic shock).

       After the ceremony, Ella had kissed Red on the forehead and whispered to her, “Just because you are officially Queen, does not mean you have to do it alone. If you need help with anything, I will be back here for you within a couple hours. And remember that you always have a home in Ellasburg as well. After all, you will officially be my daughter soon enough.”

       “Mooooom, she hasn’t even proposed yet.”

       “That’s why I said ‘soon enough,’ dear. And I still expect you both home for the holidays, understand? So don’t get too caught up in your new duties. Red, if she does, I expect you to drag her out.”

       “Yes ma’am.”

The first time Red sentences someone to death, she goes numb for a week. She says it quietly, emotionlessly and cold, but it echoes around the room. Everything is still for several moments as the words process in everyone’s brain, not quite making sense.

       “Off with his head.”

       It’s been six years without an execution. Three years since Red has taken the throne, and… she can see the need for them. There was hardly any crime when her mother was queen. When every infraction cost you your head, no one broke the law intentionally.

       She still feels like her mother is standing over her shoulder, watching everything with narrowed eyes. Judging her decisions. Chloe, her King, turns to look at her for a long searching moment, and then turns back to the uncertain guard hovering over the paling prisoner standing trial. She nods to them, and they quickly move to secure him and drag him back to the dungeons. They will have to arrange for an executioner's block to be unearthed and dragged into the square. It will be public, Red will make sure.

       An example must be made. Leniency is given for those with justification for breaking the law. There is no justification, no leniency to be had, for someone who forced themselves onto someone else.

.

It’s been a while since she felt this detached. This… empty. “I’m sorry,” she utters, staring at a point on the wall. She likes the wall. It’s purple. Chloe helped her paint it the summer before their senior year. Red wanted it to be theirs, not just hers. She wanted something that represented both of them. She likes the combination of their colors. It reminds her of bubble baths and comfort.