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Chapter Text

The abandoned warehouse on the outskirts of Gotham City was not exactly five-star accommodation, but it served its purpose as a temporary hideout for the group of villains currently lying low after their recent escape from Belle Reve. The afternoon sun filtered through the dirty windows, casting long shadows across the concrete floor where the unlikely group lounged on mismatched furniture they'd scavenged.

Psimon sat cross-legged on a threadbare armchair, his exposed brain pulsating gently as he attempted to meditate. The Terror Twins, Tommy and Tuppence, were arm wrestling on a wooden crate, while Shimmer leaned against a wall filing her nails. Icicle Jr. was busy creating small ice sculptures, occasionally flicking them at the Terror Twins when they got too loud. Devastation, the powerhouse of the group, was doing one-armed push-ups, her massive frame barely breaking a sweat.

"I'm hungry." Tommy Terror announced, slamming his sister's hand down on the crate with a triumphant grin. "We ain't eaten since yesterday."

Tuppence rubbed her hand, scowling. "You cheated, Tommy. And yeah, I could eat a horse right about now."

Psimon's eyes snapped open in annoyance. "Must you always interrupt my concentration with your bodily needs? We are fugitives, not tourists on a culinary adventure."

Devastation stopped her exercise routine and looked up at Psimon with an adoring gaze that seemed completely out of place on her intimidating face. "Baby, we all need to eat. Even that big brain of yours needs fuel." She stood up and walked over to Psimon, placing a massive hand on his shoulder that nearly engulfed his entire upper arm.

Psimon flinched slightly at the contact but didn't pull away. "Please refrain from calling me 'baby' in front of the others, Devastation. It undermines my authority."

"Whatever you say, sugar plum." Devastation replied with a wink.

Icicle Jr. snickered. "Aww, look at the lovebirds. Psimon and Devastation sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S—"

"Finish that juvenile rhyme, and I'll make you believe you're a flamingo for the next week." Psimon threatened, his eyes glowing menacingly.

Shimmer, who had been silently filing her nails, suddenly spoke up. "I vote McDonald's."

Everyone turned to stare at her in shock.

"What?" Shimmer asked defensively, looking around at their surprised faces. "Why is everyone looking at me like that?"

Tommy Terror scratched his head. "I don't think I've ever heard you talk before, Shimmer."

"What are you talking about? I talk all the time! Just because the camera doesn't always focus on me doesn't mean I don't speak!" Shimmer threw her nail file on the ground. "This is exactly why I hate being on teams. No one ever notices me!"

"I noticed you, Shimmer." Icicle Jr. said with a hopeful smile.

Shimmer rolled her eyes. "Shut up, Junior."

"Anyway." Tuppence interrupted, "what's this about McDonald's? Sounds good to me."

Icicle Jr. perked up. "Ooh, do they still have those Happy Meals? With the toys?"

Tommy's eyes lit up. "I want a Happy Meal too! Last time I got one was before they locked us up, and I got a little Superman toy." His expression darkened. "I melted it."

"In Bialya, we only had KFC and one Subway." Devastation commented. "Queen Bee said Western fast food corrupts the mind, but she always had the Colonel's chicken delivered to her palace."

Psimon sighed dramatically. "McDonald's is hardly a restaurant. It's a fast-food establishment with questionable nutritional value and—"

"They got them brain-reading powers but still don't know what tastes good." Tommy whispered loudly to his sister, who snickered.

Psimon's pale face reddened slightly. "I'll have you know that I am quite cultured when it comes to cuisine. In Bialya, I dined with Queen Bee herself on numerous occasions."

"Yeah, and all you had was KFC and Subway." Icicle Jr. pointed out.

"The Subway in Bialya doesn't even have proper vegetables." Devastation added. "The lettuce was always brownish."

"Fine." Psimon relented, standing up and straightening his robes. "If you insist on this... McDonald's... then we shall go. But we must be discreet. The Justice League and their sidekicks could be anywhere."

"Partners." Shimmer corrected. "They hate being called sidekicks."

Everyone stared at her again.

"What? I read things!" Shimmer threw her hands up in exasperation.

Devastation walked over to Psimon and looped her arm through his, causing him to stumble slightly under the unexpected weight. "Don't worry, baby. I'll protect you from any heroes who might show up."

"I don't need protection." Psimon muttered, but he didn't remove her arm. "And don't call me baby in public. Or private. Or ever."

"Sure thing, sweet cheeks." Devastation replied with a grin.

As they headed out the door, Icicle Jr. formed a small ice sculpture of Psimon and Devastation holding hands. Tommy grabbed it and held it up. "Look, it's the future Mr. and Mrs. Brain Exposure!"

Psimon's eyes glowed, and suddenly Tommy was clucking like a chicken and flapping his arms.

"I warned you." Psimon said smugly as they walked toward the city.

Chapter Text

The Gotham City McDonald's on 5th and Main wasn't particularly busy for a Tuesday afternoon. A few office workers typed away on laptops while munching on Big Macs, a group of high school students huddled in a corner booth sharing fries, and an elderly couple methodically disassembled their Filet-O-Fish sandwiches to remove excess tartar sauce.

The villain squad entered with all the subtlety of a rhino in a china shop. The Terror Twins barreled through the door first, nearly tearing it off its hinges. Icicle Jr. strutted in behind them, creating a noticeable temperature drop. Shimmer slipped in quietly, glancing around with obvious paranoia. Devastation had to duck to get through the doorway, still clinging to Psimon's arm, while the telepath looked like he'd rather be anywhere else.

"Welcome to McDonald's!" a pimple-faced teenager behind the counter called out with forced enthusiasm. His smile faltered as he took in the sight of the unusual group. "Um... can I take your order?"

"Six Happy Meals!" Tommy announced, having recovered from his chicken episode on the walk over.

"Four." Psimon corrected. "Only you, your sister, Icicle Jr., and Shimmer are getting Happy Meals."

"Aww, why not you?" Devastation pouted at Psimon.

"Because I am an adult with dignity." Psimon replied stiffly.

The cashier cleared his throat. "So... four Happy Meals. And for the... uh... couple?"

"We are NOT a couple!" Psimon exclaimed at the same time Devastation said, "I'll have a 20-piece chicken nugget meal."

"And he'll have a Quarter Pounder." Devastation added, squeezing Psimon's arm. "No pickles. He hates pickles."

"I can order for myself." Psimon grumbled, but didn't correct her order. "And before I forget..." He reached into his robe and pulled out a small card. "Do you accept Bialyan food stamps?"

The cashier stared blankly. "Is that like... a gift card?"

"No, it's a government-issued nutritional subsidy provided by Queen Bee's regime." Psimon explained with exaggerated patience.

"Um... we take cash, credit, or Apple Pay." the cashier replied.

Icicle Jr. leaned over to Shimmer. "What's Apple Pay? Do we give them apples?"

Shimmer rolled her eyes. "It's a digital payment system, you moron."

"You know, I'm not used to you talking this much." Icicle Jr. said. "It's kind of nice."

"Just because I choose to be selective about when I speak doesn't mean I can't talk." Shimmer snapped. "Everyone always acts surprised when I say anything, like I'm some mute background character or something."

The cashier was still staring at Psimon's Bialyan food stamp. "Sir, we really can't accept this."

Devastation reached into her pocket and pulled out a wad of wrinkled bills. "I got this, baby. Queen Bee always paid me in American dollars because she said my work was 'international quality.'"

"My work was international quality as well." Psimon muttered as he tucked the food stamp back into his robe. "But apparently she paid me in worthless paper."

"What toys come with the Happy Meals?" Tommy asked, practically bouncing with excitement.

"We currently have Justice League figurines." the cashier replied.

The villains fell silent.

"You got any other options?" Tuppence asked.

"Uh, we have Hello Kitty as an alternative."

"We'll take the Hello Kitty." all four Happy Meal recipients said in unison.

As they waited for their order, the door to the McDonald's swung open again. Psimon, facing the door, suddenly stiffened. "Devastation." he whispered urgently, "don't turn around, but we have company."

Naturally, everyone immediately turned around.

Standing in the doorway was the Young Justice team: Robin, Kid Flash, Miss Martian, Superboy, Artemis, Zatanna, and Aqualad. They were in civilian clothes, but there was no mistaking them.

"Oh great." Artemis muttered. "Of all the McDonald's in all of Gotham, we walk into the one with the Belle Reve escapees."

"Technically, I wasn't in Belle Reve." Psimon pointed out. "I was recovering from a psychic attack in a medical facility, thank you very much." He shot a pointed look at Miss Martian, who at least had the decency to look slightly embarrassed.

"Dude, is that Psimon?" Kid Flash whispered loudly to Robin. "The guy who's totally obsessed with Miss M?"

Psimon's exposed brain seemed to pulse with anger. "I am NOT obsessed with the Martian! That was a completely fabricated rumor!"

"Not what I heard." Kid Flash singsonged. "Someone's got a crush on the green girl."

Devastation's grip on Psimon's arm tightened painfully. "Is that true, baby? You like the skinny green one?"

"OF COURSE NOT!" Psimon practically shouted, drawing stares from everyone in the restaurant. He cleared his throat and continued more quietly, "My interest in M'gann M'orzz was purely scientific and tactical."

"That's what they all say." Robin snickered.

Aqualad stepped forward, hands raised in a placating gesture. "Perhaps we can all be civil. We are simply here to eat, not to fight."

"Yeah." Superboy added gruffly. "Though we should be having a BBQ instead. I told you guys McDonald's was a bad idea."

"You always want BBQ." Robin pointed out.

"Because BBQ is better than this processed junk." Superboy replied, crossing his arms.

The cashier, looking increasingly nervous, called out, "Order number 42! Four Happy Meals, one 20-piece nugget, and one Quarter Pounder without pickles!"

"That's us." Icicle Jr. said unnecessarily, moving toward the counter.

"Order for the heroes?" the cashier asked the Young Justice team, apparently unfazed now by the superhero presence.

"Yes, I'll have—" Aqualad began.

"One of everything!" Kid Flash interrupted. "I'm starving!"

"You're always starving." Artemis commented, rolling her eyes.

"Fast metabolism." Kid Flash replied with a wink. "Gotta keep the fuel coming."

Miss Martian stepped up to the counter. "I'll just have a salad, please."

"Trying to look good for your admirer?" Kid Flash teased, nodding toward Psimon.

"THAT'S IT!" Psimon's eyes began to glow. "I've had enough of this juvenile—"

"No mind control in McDonald's, baby." Devastation warned, squeezing his arm again. "We're just here to eat, remember?"

Psimon took a deep breath. "Fine. But only because I'm hungry, not because you called me 'baby' again."

The two groups collected their food and moved to opposite sides of the restaurant, eyeing each other suspiciously. The tension in the air was thick enough to spread on a McGriddle.

"This is nice." Icicle Jr. said as he opened his Happy Meal box. "It's like we're normal people just having lunch."

"We are NOT normal people." Psimon replied, meticulously organizing his fries by length. "We are superior beings with grand designs for global—"

"Just eat your burger, sugar plum." Devastation interrupted, already halfway through her nuggets.

Tommy and Tuppence were comparing their Hello Kitty toys. "Mine's got a little crown!" Tommy exclaimed.

"Mine's got a fishing rod." Tuppence replied. "Wanna trade?"

Shimmer unwrapped her cheeseburger and took a bite. "In Bialya, the cheese was never this... orange."

"Yes, American processed cheese is a fascinating abomination." Psimon agreed, cautiously lifting his burger to inspect it. "At least they remembered to omit the pickles."

"I made sure of it, baby." Devastation said with a wink. "I know how you get when there are pickles."

"How do I 'get'?" Psimon asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Remember in Bialya when they put pickles on your KFC sandwich and you mind-controlled the entire kitchen staff to cluck like chickens for three days?" Devastation reminded him.

"That was a proportionate response." Psimon muttered, taking a small bite of his burger.

Across the restaurant, the Young Justice team was having their own meal and conversation.

"They seem... almost normal." Miss Martian observed.

"Don't let your guard down." Aqualad warned. "They are still dangerous criminals."

"Dangerous criminals eating Happy Meals and playing with Hello Kitty toys." Robin pointed out with a smirk.

"I still say we should be having a BBQ." Superboy grumbled. "This isn't real food."

"Speak for yourself!" Kid Flash replied through a mouthful of Big Mac. "This is heaven between two buns."

Zatanna picked at her fries. "Do you think they're planning something? They keep looking over here."

"That's because KF won't stop making comments about Psimon's crush on M'gann." Artemis said.

"Which isn't a thing!" Miss Martian insisted, her cheeks turning a darker shade of green.

"I don't know." Kid Flash teased. "He seemed pretty upset about it. Classic denial."

As the meal progressed, the initial tension began to dissipate slightly. The villains were too engrossed in their Happy Meal toys and food to plot anything nefarious, and the heroes were too hungry to start a fight. It was an unusual truce brought about by the universal language of fast food.

Until the door swung open again.

Chapter Text

A hush fell over the McDonald's as the newest arrival surveyed the scene with catlike eyes. Cheshire, still in her mask but wearing civilian clothes over her usual attire, stood in the doorway with her hands on her hips.

"Well, well." she drawled. "Isn't this cozy?"

"Jade?" Artemis whispered, half-rising from her seat.

Cheshire sauntered in, moving with deliberate grace toward the counter. "Relax, sister dear. I'm just here for some fries. A girl's got to eat, even when she's supposed to be lying low."

"What are you doing in Gotham?" Artemis demanded.

"I could ask you the same question." Cheshire replied. "But I see you're with your little hero friends, so I guess that answers that." She turned to the terrified cashier. "One large fries and a chocolate shake, please."

The door opened yet again, and Black Spider slipped in. His eyes widened behind his mask when he saw the assembled groups. "Cheshire? What is this, a villain convention?"

"Apparently." Cheshire replied dryly. "With a side of teen heroes."

"I just wanted some McNuggets." Black Spider sighed, joining Cheshire at the counter.

Robin leaned toward Aqualad. "Should we be concerned that all these villains are showing up at the same McDonald's?"

"It is... suspicious." Aqualad agreed. "But they do not appear to be coordinating."

"Maybe they're all just hungry?" Miss Martian suggested optimistically.

Meanwhile, at the villains' table, Psimon was growing increasingly agitated. "This is becoming absurd. First the junior Justice League, and now freelance assassins? This is exactly why I didn't want to come to a public establishment!"

"Relax, baby." Devastation said, patting his hand with her massive one. "More villains just means more people on our side if things go south."

"I don't consider Cheshire or Black Spider to be 'on our side,'" Psimon sniffed. "They're mercenaries who work for the highest bidder."

"Speaking of which." Icicle Jr. whispered, "isn't that Spoiler coming in now?"

All heads turned to see the purple-hooded figure of Spoiler entering the McDonald's. She froze when she saw the assembled heroes and villains.

"Um... I can come back later?" she offered, already backing toward the door.

"No, no." the increasingly frazzled cashier called out. "Please, just... what can I get you?"

Spoiler hesitated, then approached the counter. "Just a McFlurry, please. Oreo."

"The ice cream machine is broken." the cashier said automatically.

"It's always broken." Spoiler and Robin said in unison, then looked at each other in surprise.

"Fine, just give me some fries." Spoiler sighed.

As she waited for her order, the door swung open yet again. This time, it was Bumblebee and Wonder Girl who entered, deep in conversation.

"I'm telling you, the calories in these fries are worth it sometimes." Bumblebee was saying. "Everyone needs a cheat day—" She stopped abruptly when she noticed the crowded restaurant. "Uh, Cassie? I think we might want to try another location."

Wonder Girl's eyes widened as she took in the scene. "Is that... everyone we know?"

"Not everyone." Kid Flash called out. "Klarion hasn't shown up yet."

As if on cue, a swirling red portal opened in the middle of the McDonald's, and Klarion the Witch Boy stepped through with his familiar, Teekl, perched on his shoulder.

"What is this 'McDonald's' that Riddler keeps talking about?" Klarion asked, looking around curiously. His eyes landed on Zatanna, and a blush spread across his pale features. "Oh! You're here too!"

"Great." Zatanna muttered. "Just what we needed."

Klarion approached the counter, staring up at the menu board with confusion. "What is a... 'Happy Meal'? Is it enchanted to induce joy?"

"It's just a kids' meal with a toy." the cashier explained wearily.

"A toy?" Klarion's eyes lit up. "I'll take one! Do you accept payment in arcane artifacts?"

"Cash or card only." the cashier replied robotically.

"Humans and their limited currency systems." Klarion scoffed, but produced a crisp fifty-dollar bill from thin air. "Will this suffice?"

As Klarion received his change, Stargirl floated in through the door, landing gracefully just inside. "Hey, Zatanna! I got your text about—" She stopped, staff in hand, as she surveyed the increasingly crowded restaurant. "Whoa. Did I miss a memo about some kind of hero-villain meetup?"

"No." several people answered simultaneously.

"We're just trying to eat lunch." Aqualad explained.

"Yeah, and you heroes keep ruining it by showing up." Tommy Terror complained.

"We were here first!" Kid Flash protested.

"Actually, we were." Shimmer corrected. "By about thirty seconds."

"She talks?" Wonder Girl whispered to Bumblebee, who shrugged.

"Why does everyone act so surprised when I speak?" Shimmer demanded, standing up. "I have vocal cords! I use them! Get over it!"

"Calm down, Shimmer." Icicle Jr. said soothingly. "I like hearing you talk."

Shimmer's expression softened slightly. "Really?"

"Yeah, you have a nice voice." Icicle Jr. replied, his cheeks turning a light blue as he blushed.

Cheshire, now sitting at a small table with Black Spider, laughed behind her mask. "Is everyone pairing up now? How adorable."

"I'm not paired with anyone." Black Spider pointed out.

"Don't get any ideas." Cheshire warned.

The McDonald's had become an unlikely gathering place for the who's who of the young superhero and supervillain community. The regular customers had long since fled, leaving only the costumed individuals and the increasingly resigned staff.

"This is ridiculous." Psimon declared, standing up. "I came here for a simple meal, not a super-powered social gathering."

"Sit down and finish your fries, baby." Devastation said, pulling him back into his seat with ease. "Your food's getting cold."

"Stop calling me 'baby'!" Psimon hissed, but he did return to his meal.

Klarion had received his Happy Meal and was now sitting uncomfortably close to Zatanna, who kept trying to scoot away.

"Want to see my toy?" Klarion asked, presenting a Hello Kitty figure. "It's a small feline creature with a disproportionately large head. Reminds me of Teekl as a kitten."

Teekl meowed indignantly from Klarion's shoulder.

"No offense meant, of course." Klarion added quickly.

"That's... nice." Zatanna replied stiffly. "Can you maybe sit somewhere else?"

"But you're the reason I come to this dimension so often." Klarion said, his pale cheeks flushing. "Don't you know I have feelings for you?"

"Wait, what?" several people exclaimed at once.

"The Lord of Chaos has a crush on Zatanna?" Robin said incredulously.

"It's not a crush!" Klarion protested. "It's a deeply-felt arcane connection between two practitioners of the mystic arts!"

"It's a crush." Cheshire confirmed, sipping her shake.

"At least he admits it." Kid Flash said, looking pointedly at Psimon. "Unlike some people."

"I DO NOT HAVE FEELINGS FOR THE MARTIAN!" Psimon roared, standing up so quickly that his chair fell backward.

"Do you have feelings for me, baby?" Devastation asked, looking up at him with surprising vulnerability on her fierce face.

Psimon froze, his exposed brain pulsating rapidly. "I... that is... we are colleagues. Professionals. Acquaintances with... mutual respect."

"Wow, that's cold." Spoiler commented from her table.

"He definitely likes her." Bumblebee whispered to Wonder Girl, who nodded in agreement.

"Can we focus?" Aqualad asked. "We have multiple known criminals in one location. We should be—"

"Dude, they're eating McDonald's, not plotting world domination." Kid Flash interrupted. "Besides, I haven't finished my third Big Mac yet."

The uneasy truce continued as everyone ate their meals, casting suspicious glances at each other between bites. The McDonald's had become a bizarre neutral ground where the usual hero-villain dynamics were temporarily suspended in favor of fast food consumption.

It was almost peaceful.

Until Icicle Jr. accidentally squirted ketchup on Superboy's favorite white t-shirt.

Chapter Text

"Watch it!" Superboy growled, looking down at the red splotch spreading across his white t-shirt.

"Sorry, man." Icicle Jr. said, holding up his hands. "Total accident. The packet just kind of... exploded."

"Do you know how hard it is to get ketchup out of white cotton?" Superboy demanded, rising from his seat.

"No, but I'm guessing you're about to make it my problem." Icicle Jr. replied, backing up.

Miss Martian placed a hand on Superboy's arm. "Conner, it's just a shirt. We can clean it later."

"This wouldn't have happened if we'd gone to a BBQ like I wanted." Superboy grumbled, but he sat back down.

Crisis averted, everyone returned to their meals. The restaurant had settled into an uneasy peace, with heroes and villains studiously ignoring each other while simultaneously keeping a watchful eye on their counterparts.

Klarion was still trying to impress Zatanna by making his French fries dance in the air. "See? I can manipulate matter on a molecular level. Isn't that attractive?"

"I've seen better." Zatanna replied, unimpressed. "Doctor Fate could do that while simultaneously maintaining the cosmic balance."

"Doctor Fate is a stuffy old has-been!" Klarion declared, his dancing fries falling limply to the table. "I'm spontaneous, fun, unpredictable!"

"Those aren't necessarily positive qualities in a potential date." Zatanna pointed out.

At the villains' table, Devastation was still trying to get Psimon to open up about his feelings. "You know, baby, you don't have to be embarrassed. I think your exposed brain is sexy."

Psimon choked on his Coke. "Please, Devastation, not while I'm consuming carbonated beverages."

"I'm just saying, all that throbbing, pulsating tissue..." Devastation wiggled her eyebrows suggestively.

"I think I'm going to be sick." Tommy Terror muttered.

"I think it's sweet." Tuppence countered. "In a weird, supervillain kind of way."

"There is nothing 'sweet' about it." Psimon insisted. "Devastation and I are merely associates who occasionally work together on missions for Queen Bee."

"Is that why you always requested to be paired with me on assignments?" Devastation asked with a knowing smile.

"I did no such thing!" Psimon spluttered. "Queen Bee assigned us together because our abilities complement each other tactically!"

"Sure, baby, whatever you say." Devastation replied, clearly not believing him.

Kid Flash, who had been eavesdropping, snickered loudly. "Man, Psimon, for a telepath, you're really bad at reading the room. She's totally into you, and you're clearly into her."

"Stay out of this, speedster!" Psimon snapped.

"He's right, though." Robin added. "The sexual tension between you two is obvious from space. Probably why Miss M isn't on your radar anymore."

"THERE WAS NEVER ANYTHING ON MY 'RADAR' REGARDING M'GANN M'ORZZ!" Psimon shouted, his eyes beginning to glow dangerously.

Miss Martian rolled her eyes. "Can we please stop with this ridiculous rumor? It's getting old."

"Almost as old as Psimon's denial." Kid Flash quipped.

That was the breaking point. Psimon's eyes flashed, and suddenly Kid Flash's milkshake levitated from the table and dumped itself over his head.

"Dude!" Kid Flash exclaimed, milkshake dripping down his face. "Not cool!"

In retaliation, Kid Flash zoomed over and squirted mustard on Psimon's robes before anyone could blink.

"My ceremonial attire!" Psimon gasped in horror. "Do you have any idea how difficult it is to clean these?"

"About as hard as getting ketchup out of white cotton?" Superboy suggested with a smirk.

Devastation stood up, her massive frame towering over the table. "Nobody messes with my baby!"

She grabbed a handful of fries and hurled them at Kid Flash with surprising accuracy. Kid Flash ducked, and the fries hit Robin instead, who responded by flicking a pickle slice that landed right on Shimmer's forehead.

"Oh, it's ON!" Shimmer declared, grabbing her chocolate shake and throwing it.

What happened next could only be described as chaos. Food began flying across the McDonald's as heroes and villains alike joined the fray. Burgers, fries, nuggets, and condiments became ammunition in the most unusual battle these superpowered individuals had ever fought.

Klarion was delighted by the mayhem. "Now THIS is entertainment!" he cackled, using his magic to direct an entire tray of food at Aqualad, who deftly created a water shield to block it.

"We should not be engaging in such childish—" Aqualad began, before a glob of special sauce hit him right in the face. He wiped it off slowly, his expression darkening. "Very well. If that's how it's going to be." He sent a small wave of soda across the floor, drenching the Terror Twins' shoes.

Cheshire and Artemis had taken cover behind an overturned table, occasionally popping up to launch precision strikes with ketchup packets.

"Just like old times, sis." Cheshire remarked. "Remember when we used to have food fights at home?"

"Yeah, except Dad would make us clean it up as training." Artemis replied, successfully hitting Tommy Terror with a mustard stream.

"Some things never change." Cheshire said, dodging a flying hamburger patty.

Miss Martian was using her telekinesis to create a whirlwind of French fries, while Superboy had upended an entire condiment station to use as ammunition.

"Still wish we'd gone to a BBQ?" Robin asked him, ducking under a flying apple pie.

"At least then we'd be throwing quality food." Superboy replied, launching a handful of pickle slices at Icicle Jr.

In the center of the chaos, Psimon and Devastation had formed an unlikely alliance. She provided physical protection, using a tray as a shield, while he used his telekinesis to return fire with surgical precision.

"We make a good team, baby." Devastation shouted over the din of the food fight.

"I suppose we do." Psimon admitted, deflecting an incoming McNugget with his mind. "Your brute strength does complement my psychic abilities rather effectively."

"Is that your way of saying you like me?" Devastation asked hopefully.

Before Psimon could answer, a large chocolate shake hit him directly on his exposed brain. The cold dessert dripped down over his face as he stood there in shock. The entire restaurant fell silent, all eyes on Psimon as he slowly wiped the chocolate from his eyes.

"Who... did... that?" he asked, his voice dangerously calm.

Kid Flash pointed at Superboy, who pointed at Robin, who pointed at Wonder Girl, who pointed at Spoiler.

"It was an accident." Spoiler said quickly. "I was aiming for Black Spider!"

Psimon's eyes began to glow, and everyone tensed for what would surely be a devastating psychic attack. But before he could unleash his power, Devastation did something unexpected. She leaned down and gently licked a drop of chocolate shake from Psimon's cheek.

"Mmm." she said with a smile. "Sweet. Like you, baby."

Psimon's glowing eyes dimmed as he stared at her in shock. "Did you just... lick my face?"

"Maybe." Devastation replied with a wink. "You taste good with chocolate."

The tension in the room shifted dramatically as everyone processed this unexpected turn of events. Then, slowly, Psimon's lips curved into what might have been the first genuine smile anyone had ever seen on his face.

"You are the most bizarre woman I have ever met." he told Devastation.

"I'll take that as a compliment." she replied.

The McDonald's looked like a war zone. Food was splattered on every surface, tables and chairs were overturned, and every person present was covered in some combination of condiments, beverages, and fast food items. The staff had long since retreated to the kitchen, peeking out occasionally to assess the damage.

"Look at this place." Aqualad said, surveying the destruction. "This is..."

"Awesome?" Kid Flash suggested.

"I was going to say 'disgraceful,'" Aqualad corrected. "We are supposed to be examples."

"Oh, lighten up." Cheshire said, flicking a French fry off her mask. "Everyone needs to let loose sometimes."

"Even supervillains?" Robin asked.

"Especially supervillains." Icicle Jr. replied. "Do you know how stressful it is trying to take over the world all the time?"

"Or thwart those attempting to take over the world." Aqualad conceded with a small smile.

As the adrenaline of the food fight wore off, an unusual camaraderie had developed among the assembled heroes and villains. They began righting tables and chairs, collecting trash, and making half-hearted attempts to clean up the worst of the mess.

"We should probably go before the police arrive." Black Spider suggested, wiping ketchup from his mask.

"Agreed." Aqualad said. "Though I suggest we all leave in different directions to avoid... complications."

"Are you letting us go?" Icicle Jr. asked in surprise.

Aqualad looked around at the food-splattered villains and his equally messy teammates. "Let's just say that today, the battlefield was McDonald's, and the only casualties were Big Macs and McNuggets. Tomorrow, things return to normal."

"Works for me." Cheshire said, heading for the door. "Coming, Artemis?"

Artemis looked at her teammates, then back at her sister. "Not today, Jade. But... it was nice seeing you when we weren't trying to kill each other."

"Likewise, little sister." Cheshire replied. "Next time, maybe we can try Burger King."

As the villains prepared to leave, Devastation pulled Psimon aside. "So, baby, about those feelings we were discussing earlier..."

Psimon looked at her, then around at the others who were pretending not to listen while absolutely listening. He sighed. "Perhaps we can continue this conversation somewhere more private? After I've had a chance to clean chocolate shake from my cerebral cortex?"

Devastation's face lit up. "Is that a date?"

"It's... a discussion." Psimon replied carefully. "With potential."

"I'll take it!" Devastation declared, picking him up in a bear hug that lifted his feet off the ground.

"Devastation! Public displays of affection are beneath us as superior beings!" Psimon protested, though he made no real effort to escape her grip.

"Get a room, you two." Tommy Terror called out.

"Preferably one with a shower." Shimmer added, eyeing their food-covered forms.

As heroes and villains began to file out of the devastated McDonald's, leaving generous tips for the traumatized staff, Klarion lingered near Zatanna.

"So, about that date..." he began.

"Still no." Zatanna replied firmly.

"But I participated in a human food fight ritual! Doesn't that earn me any points?" Klarion asked hopefully.

"It was fun." Zatanna admitted, "but I don't date Lords of Chaos."

"What about Lords of Chaos who are trying to be less chaotic?" Klarion persisted.

"That would be a contradiction in terms." Zatanna pointed out.

"I could change! A little. Occasionally. When it suits me." Klarion offered.

Zatanna laughed despite herself. "Tell you what. If we ever have another fast food truce day, I'll let you sit at my table."

Klarion's face lit up. "Really? I'll hold you to that! Teekl, did you hear? Progress!"

The cat familiar meowed sarcastically from his shoulder.

"Don't ruin this for me." Klarion whispered to the cat as they followed the others out.

Outside the McDonald's, the groups began to disperse in different directions, the unusual truce already beginning to fade as they returned to their regular roles. But something had changed, however slightly. They had seen each other as people, not just heroes and villains, if only for the duration of a fast food meal and an epic food fight.

Psimon, walking beside Devastation with the other villains, found himself reflecting on the strange afternoon. "That was... not how I expected today to go." he admitted.

"Are you disappointed, baby?" Devastation asked.

Psimon considered the question seriously. "No." he finally replied. "Though I will never admit that to anyone but you."

Devastation smiled and took his hand in hers. This time, he didn't pull away.

"And Devastation?"

"Yes, baby?"

"If you insist on using a term of endearment... I suppose 'baby' is acceptable. Occasionally. When we're alone."

"Whatever you say, sugar plum." Devastation replied with a grin.

As the sun began to set over Gotham, heroes and villains went their separate ways, all of them smelling of fast food and carrying memories of the strangest truce in superhero history. Tomorrow they would be enemies again, but today, they had been united by the universal appeal of McDonald's – even if most of that McDonald's had ended up on the walls, floor, and ceiling rather than in their stomachs.

And somewhere in Gotham, a McDonald's manager was looking at the security footage in complete disbelief, wondering how he was going to explain to corporate that his restaurant had been ground zero for the world's first superhero-supervillain food fight.

Chapter Text

A hush fell over the McDonald's as the newest arrival surveyed the scene with catlike eyes. Cheshire, still in her mask but wearing civilian clothes over her usual attire, stood in the doorway with her hands on her hips.

"Well, well." she drawled. "Isn't this cozy?"

"Jade?" Artemis whispered, half-rising from her seat.

Cheshire sauntered in, moving with deliberate grace toward the counter. "Relax, sister dear. I'm just here for some fries. A girl's got to eat, even when she's supposed to be lying low."

"What are you doing in Gotham?" Artemis demanded.

"I could ask you the same question." Cheshire replied. "But I see you're with your little hero friends, so I guess that answers that." She turned to the terrified cashier. "One large fries and a chocolate shake, please."

The door opened yet again, and Black Spider slipped in. His eyes widened behind his mask when he saw the assembled groups. "Cheshire? What is this, a villain convention?"

"Apparently." Cheshire replied dryly. "With a side of teen heroes."

"I just wanted some McNuggets." Black Spider sighed, joining Cheshire at the counter.

Robin leaned toward Aqualad. "Should we be concerned that all these villains are showing up at the same McDonald's?"

"It is... suspicious." Aqualad agreed. "But they do not appear to be coordinating."

"Maybe they're all just hungry?" Miss Martian suggested optimistically.

Meanwhile, at the villains' table, Psimon was growing increasingly agitated. "This is becoming absurd. First the junior Justice League, and now freelance assassins? This is exactly why I didn't want to come to a public establishment!"

"Relax, baby." Devastation said, patting his hand with her massive one. "More villains just means more people on our side if things go south."

"I don't consider Cheshire or Black Spider to be 'on our side,'" Psimon sniffed. "They're mercenaries who work for the highest bidder."

"Speaking of which." Icicle Jr. whispered, "isn't that Spoiler coming in now?"

All heads turned to see the purple-hooded figure of Spoiler entering the McDonald's. She froze when she saw the assembled heroes and villains.

"Um... I can come back later?" she offered, already backing toward the door.

"No, no." the increasingly frazzled cashier called out. "Please, just... what can I get you?"

Spoiler hesitated, then approached the counter. "Just a McFlurry, please. Oreo."

"The ice cream machine is broken." the cashier said automatically.

"It's always broken." Spoiler and Robin said in unison, then looked at each other in surprise.

"Fine, just give me some fries." Spoiler sighed.

As she waited for her order, the door swung open yet again. This time, it was Bumblebee and Wonder Girl who entered, deep in conversation.

"I'm telling you, the calories in these fries are worth it sometimes." Bumblebee was saying. "Everyone needs a cheat day—" She stopped abruptly when she noticed the crowded restaurant. "Uh, Cassie? I think we might want to try another location."

Wonder Girl's eyes widened as she took in the scene. "Is that... everyone we know?"

"Not everyone." Kid Flash called out. "Klarion hasn't shown up yet."

As if on cue, a swirling red portal opened in the middle of the McDonald's, and Klarion the Witch Boy stepped through with his familiar, Teekl, perched on his shoulder.

"What is this 'McDonald's' that Riddler keeps talking about?" Klarion asked, looking around curiously. His eyes landed on Zatanna, and a blush spread across his pale features. "Oh! You're here too!"

"Great." Zatanna muttered. "Just what we needed."

Klarion approached the counter, staring up at the menu board with confusion. "What is a... 'Happy Meal'? Is it enchanted to induce joy?"

"It's just a kids' meal with a toy." the cashier explained wearily.

"A toy?" Klarion's eyes lit up. "I'll take one! Do you accept payment in arcane artifacts?"

"Cash or card only." the cashier replied robotically.

"Humans and their limited currency systems." Klarion scoffed, but produced a crisp fifty-dollar bill from thin air. "Will this suffice?"

As Klarion received his change, Stargirl floated in through the door, landing gracefully just inside. "Hey, Zatanna! I got your text about—" She stopped, staff in hand, as she surveyed the increasingly crowded restaurant. "Whoa. Did I miss a memo about some kind of hero-villain meetup?"

"No." several people answered simultaneously.

"We're just trying to eat lunch." Aqualad explained.

"Yeah, and you heroes keep ruining it by showing up." Tommy Terror complained.

"We were here first!" Kid Flash protested.

"Actually, we were." Shimmer corrected. "By about thirty seconds."

"She talks?" Wonder Girl whispered to Bumblebee, who shrugged.

"Why does everyone act so surprised when I speak?" Shimmer demanded, standing up. "I have vocal cords! I use them! Get over it!"

"Calm down, Shimmer." Icicle Jr. said soothingly. "I like hearing you talk."

Shimmer's expression softened slightly. "Really?"

"Yeah, you have a nice voice." Icicle Jr. replied, his cheeks turning a light blue as he blushed.

Cheshire, now sitting at a small table with Black Spider, laughed behind her mask. "Is everyone pairing up now? How adorable."

"I'm not paired with anyone." Black Spider pointed out.

"Don't get any ideas." Cheshire warned.

The McDonald's had become an unlikely gathering place for the who's who of the young superhero and supervillain community. The regular customers had long since fled, leaving only the costumed individuals and the increasingly resigned staff.

"This is ridiculous." Psimon declared, standing up. "I came here for a simple meal, not a super-powered social gathering."

"Sit down and finish your fries, baby." Devastation said, pulling him back into his seat with ease. "Your food's getting cold."

"Stop calling me 'baby'!" Psimon hissed, but he did return to his meal.

Klarion had received his Happy Meal and was now sitting uncomfortably close to Zatanna, who kept trying to scoot away.

"Want to see my toy?" Klarion asked, presenting a Hello Kitty figure. "It's a small feline creature with a disproportionately large head. Reminds me of Teekl as a kitten."

Teekl meowed indignantly from Klarion's shoulder.

"No offense meant, of course." Klarion added quickly.

"That's... nice." Zatanna replied stiffly. "Can you maybe sit somewhere else?"

"But you're the reason I come to this dimension so often." Klarion said, his pale cheeks flushing. "Don't you know I have feelings for you?"

"Wait, what?" several people exclaimed at once.

"The Lord of Chaos has a crush on Zatanna?" Robin said incredulously.

"It's not a crush!" Klarion protested. "It's a deeply-felt arcane connection between two practitioners of the mystic arts!"

"It's a crush." Cheshire confirmed, sipping her shake.

"At least he admits it." Kid Flash said, looking pointedly at Psimon. "Unlike some people."

"I DO NOT HAVE FEELINGS FOR THE MARTIAN!" Psimon roared, standing up so quickly that his chair fell backward.

"Do you have feelings for me, baby?" Devastation asked, looking up at him with surprising vulnerability on her fierce face.

Psimon froze, his exposed brain pulsating rapidly. "I... that is... we are colleagues. Professionals. Acquaintances with... mutual respect."

"Wow, that's cold." Spoiler commented from her table.

"He definitely likes her." Bumblebee whispered to Wonder Girl, who nodded in agreement.

"Can we focus?" Aqualad asked. "We have multiple known criminals in one location. We should be—"

"Dude, they're eating McDonald's, not plotting world domination." Kid Flash interrupted. "Besides, I haven't finished my third Big Mac yet."

The uneasy truce continued as everyone ate their meals, casting suspicious glances at each other between bites. The McDonald's had become a bizarre neutral ground where the usual hero-villain dynamics were temporarily suspended in favor of fast food consumption.

It was almost peaceful.

Until Icicle Jr. accidentally squirted ketchup on Superboy's favorite white t-shirt.

Chapter Text

"Watch it!" Superboy growled, looking down at the red splotch spreading across his white t-shirt.

"Sorry, man." Icicle Jr. said, holding up his hands. "Total accident. The packet just kind of... exploded."

"Do you know how hard it is to get ketchup out of white cotton?" Superboy demanded, rising from his seat.

"No, but I'm guessing you're about to make it my problem." Icicle Jr. replied, backing up.

Miss Martian placed a hand on Superboy's arm. "Conner, it's just a shirt. We can clean it later."

"This wouldn't have happened if we'd gone to a BBQ like I wanted." Superboy grumbled, but he sat back down.

Crisis averted, everyone returned to their meals. The restaurant had settled into an uneasy peace, with heroes and villains studiously ignoring each other while simultaneously keeping a watchful eye on their counterparts.

Klarion was still trying to impress Zatanna by making his French fries dance in the air. "See? I can manipulate matter on a molecular level. Isn't that attractive?"

"I've seen better." Zatanna replied, unimpressed. "Doctor Fate could do that while simultaneously maintaining the cosmic balance."

"Doctor Fate is a stuffy old has-been!" Klarion declared, his dancing fries falling limply to the table. "I'm spontaneous, fun, unpredictable!"

"Those aren't necessarily positive qualities in a potential date." Zatanna pointed out.

At the villains' table, Devastation was still trying to get Psimon to open up about his feelings. "You know, baby, you don't have to be embarrassed. I think your exposed brain is sexy."

Psimon choked on his Coke. "Please, Devastation, not while I'm consuming carbonated beverages."

"I'm just saying, all that throbbing, pulsating tissue..." Devastation wiggled her eyebrows suggestively.

"I think I'm going to be sick." Tommy Terror muttered.

"I think it's sweet." Tuppence countered. "In a weird, supervillain kind of way."

"There is nothing 'sweet' about it." Psimon insisted. "Devastation and I are merely associates who occasionally work together on missions for Queen Bee."

"Is that why you always requested to be paired with me on assignments?" Devastation asked with a knowing smile.

"I did no such thing!" Psimon spluttered. "Queen Bee assigned us together because our abilities complement each other tactically!"

"Sure, baby, whatever you say." Devastation replied, clearly not believing him.

Kid Flash, who had been eavesdropping, snickered loudly. "Man, Psimon, for a telepath, you're really bad at reading the room. She's totally into you, and you're clearly into her."

"Stay out of this, speedster!" Psimon snapped.

"He's right, though." Robin added. "The sexual tension between you two is obvious from space. Probably why Miss M isn't on your radar anymore."

"THERE WAS NEVER ANYTHING ON MY 'RADAR' REGARDING M'GANN M'ORZZ!" Psimon shouted, his eyes beginning to glow dangerously.

Miss Martian rolled her eyes. "Can we please stop with this ridiculous rumor? It's getting old."

"Almost as old as Psimon's denial." Kid Flash quipped.

That was the breaking point. Psimon's eyes flashed, and suddenly Kid Flash's milkshake levitated from the table and dumped itself over his head.

"Dude!" Kid Flash exclaimed, milkshake dripping down his face. "Not cool!"

In retaliation, Kid Flash zoomed over and squirted mustard on Psimon's robes before anyone could blink.

"My ceremonial attire!" Psimon gasped in horror. "Do you have any idea how difficult it is to clean these?"

"About as hard as getting ketchup out of white cotton?" Superboy suggested with a smirk.

Devastation stood up, her massive frame towering over the table. "Nobody messes with my baby!"

She grabbed a handful of fries and hurled them at Kid Flash with surprising accuracy. Kid Flash ducked, and the fries hit Robin instead, who responded by flicking a pickle slice that landed right on Shimmer's forehead.

"Oh, it's ON!" Shimmer declared, grabbing her chocolate shake and throwing it.

What happened next could only be described as chaos. Food began flying across the McDonald's as heroes and villains alike joined the fray. Burgers, fries, nuggets, and condiments became ammunition in the most unusual battle these superpowered individuals had ever fought.

Klarion was delighted by the mayhem. "Now THIS is entertainment!" he cackled, using his magic to direct an entire tray of food at Aqualad, who deftly created a water shield to block it.

"We should not be engaging in such childish—" Aqualad began, before a glob of special sauce hit him right in the face. He wiped it off slowly, his expression darkening. "Very well. If that's how it's going to be." He sent a small wave of soda across the floor, drenching the Terror Twins' shoes.

Cheshire and Artemis had taken cover behind an overturned table, occasionally popping up to launch precision strikes with ketchup packets.

"Just like old times, sis." Cheshire remarked. "Remember when we used to have food fights at home?"

"Yeah, except Dad would make us clean it up as training." Artemis replied, successfully hitting Tommy Terror with a mustard stream.

"Some things never change." Cheshire said, dodging a flying hamburger patty.

Miss Martian was using her telekinesis to create a whirlwind of French fries, while Superboy had upended an entire condiment station to use as ammunition.

"Still wish we'd gone to a BBQ?" Robin asked him, ducking under a flying apple pie.

"At least then we'd be throwing quality food." Superboy replied, launching a handful of pickle slices at Icicle Jr.

In the center of the chaos, Psimon and Devastation had formed an unlikely alliance. She provided physical protection, using a tray as a shield, while he used his telekinesis to return fire with surgical precision.

"We make a good team, baby." Devastation shouted over the din of the food fight.

"I suppose we do." Psimon admitted, deflecting an incoming McNugget with his mind. "Your brute strength does complement my psychic abilities rather effectively."

"Is that your way of saying you like me?" Devastation asked hopefully.

Before Psimon could answer, a large chocolate shake hit him directly on his exposed brain. The cold dessert dripped down over his face as he stood there in shock. The entire restaurant fell silent, all eyes on Psimon as he slowly wiped the chocolate from his eyes.

"Who... did... that?" he asked, his voice dangerously calm.

Kid Flash pointed at Superboy, who pointed at Robin, who pointed at Wonder Girl, who pointed at Spoiler.

"It was an accident." Spoiler said quickly. "I was aiming for Black Spider!"

Psimon's eyes began to glow, and everyone tensed for what would surely be a devastating psychic attack. But before he could unleash his power, Devastation did something unexpected. She leaned down and gently licked a drop of chocolate shake from Psimon's cheek.

"Mmm." she said with a smile. "Sweet. Like you, baby."

Psimon's glowing eyes dimmed as he stared at her in shock. "Did you just... lick my face?"

"Maybe." Devastation replied with a wink. "You taste good with chocolate."

The tension in the room shifted dramatically as everyone processed this unexpected turn of events. Then, slowly, Psimon's lips curved into what might have been the first genuine smile anyone had ever seen on his face.

"You are the most bizarre woman I have ever met." he told Devastation.

"I'll take that as a compliment." she replied.

The McDonald's looked like a war zone. Food was splattered on every surface, tables and chairs were overturned, and every person present was covered in some combination of condiments, beverages, and fast food items. The staff had long since retreated to the kitchen, peeking out occasionally to assess the damage.

"Look at this place." Aqualad said, surveying the destruction. "This is..."

"Awesome?" Kid Flash suggested.

"I was going to say 'disgraceful,'" Aqualad corrected. "We are supposed to be examples."

"Oh, lighten up." Cheshire said, flicking a French fry off her mask. "Everyone needs to let loose sometimes."

"Even supervillains?" Robin asked.

"Especially supervillains." Icicle Jr. replied. "Do you know how stressful it is trying to take over the world all the time?"

"Or thwart those attempting to take over the world." Aqualad conceded with a small smile.

As the adrenaline of the food fight wore off, an unusual camaraderie had developed among the assembled heroes and villains. They began righting tables and chairs, collecting trash, and making half-hearted attempts to clean up the worst of the mess.

"We should probably go before the police arrive." Black Spider suggested, wiping ketchup from his mask.

"Agreed." Aqualad said. "Though I suggest we all leave in different directions to avoid... complications."

"Are you letting us go?" Icicle Jr. asked in surprise.

Aqualad looked around at the food-splattered villains and his equally messy teammates. "Let's just say that today, the battlefield was McDonald's, and the only casualties were Big Macs and McNuggets. Tomorrow, things return to normal."

"Works for me." Cheshire said, heading for the door. "Coming, Artemis?"

Artemis looked at her teammates, then back at her sister. "Not today, Jade. But... it was nice seeing you when we weren't trying to kill each other."

"Likewise, little sister." Cheshire replied. "Next time, maybe we can try Burger King."

As the villains prepared to leave, Devastation pulled Psimon aside. "So, baby, about those feelings we were discussing earlier..."

Psimon looked at her, then around at the others who were pretending not to listen while absolutely listening. He sighed. "Perhaps we can continue this conversation somewhere more private? After I've had a chance to clean chocolate shake from my cerebral cortex?"

Devastation's face lit up. "Is that a date?"

"It's... a discussion." Psimon replied carefully. "With potential."

"I'll take it!" Devastation declared, picking him up in a bear hug that lifted his feet off the ground.

"Devastation! Public displays of affection are beneath us as superior beings!" Psimon protested, though he made no real effort to escape her grip.

"Get a room, you two." Tommy Terror called out.

"Preferably one with a shower." Shimmer added, eyeing their food-covered forms.

As heroes and villains began to file out of the devastated McDonald's, leaving generous tips for the traumatized staff, Klarion lingered near Zatanna.

"So, about that date..." he began.

"Still no." Zatanna replied firmly.

"But I participated in a human food fight ritual! Doesn't that earn me any points?" Klarion asked hopefully.

"It was fun." Zatanna admitted, "but I don't date Lords of Chaos."

"What about Lords of Chaos who are trying to be less chaotic?" Klarion persisted.

"That would be a contradiction in terms." Zatanna pointed out.

"I could change! A little. Occasionally. When it suits me." Klarion offered.

Zatanna laughed despite herself. "Tell you what. If we ever have another fast food truce day, I'll let you sit at my table."

Klarion's face lit up. "Really? I'll hold you to that! Teekl, did you hear? Progress!"

The cat familiar meowed sarcastically from his shoulder.

"Don't ruin this for me." Klarion whispered to the cat as they followed the others out.

Outside the McDonald's, the groups began to disperse in different directions, the unusual truce already beginning to fade as they returned to their regular roles. But something had changed, however slightly. They had seen each other as people, not just heroes and villains, if only for the duration of a fast food meal and an epic food fight.

Psimon, walking beside Devastation with the other villains, found himself reflecting on the strange afternoon. "That was... not how I expected today to go." he admitted.

"Are you disappointed, baby?" Devastation asked.

Psimon considered the question seriously. "No." he finally replied. "Though I will never admit that to anyone but you."

Devastation smiled and took his hand in hers. This time, he didn't pull away.

"And Devastation?"

"Yes, baby?"

"If you insist on using a term of endearment... I suppose 'baby' is acceptable. Occasionally. When we're alone."

"Whatever you say, sugar plum." Devastation replied with a grin.

As the sun began to set over Gotham, heroes and villains went their separate ways, all of them smelling of fast food and carrying memories of the strangest truce in superhero history. Tomorrow they would be enemies again, but today, they had been united by the universal appeal of McDonald's – even if most of that McDonald's had ended up on the walls, floor, and ceiling rather than in their stomachs.

And somewhere in Gotham, a McDonald's manager was looking at the security footage in complete disbelief, wondering how he was going to explain to corporate that his restaurant had been ground zero for the world's first superhero-supervillain food fight.

Chapter Text

Mount Justice's beach looked like a scene from a particularly bizarre dream. Two large tables had been pushed together on the sand, covered with mismatched tablecloths and an eclectic array of serving dishes. A large grill stood nearby, where Superboy was arranging charcoal with the intensity of a surgeon performing a delicate operation.

The Young Justice team had arrived early to set up, all of them still slightly stunned that they were actually going through with this plan. Kaldur had been the hardest to convince, but eventually relented when M'gann pointed out that keeping villains occupied with dinner was technically a form of crime prevention.

"I still think we should have consulted Batman." Kaldur said, arranging plates around the table.

"And have him shut it down immediately?" Robin replied. "Where's the fun in that?"

"Fun is not our primary objective as heroes." Kaldur reminded him.

"Speak for yourself." Wally said, already munching on chips. "Some of us are in it for the cool costumes and the rush."

"And the opportunity to host dinner parties for our enemies, apparently." Artemis added dryly.

M'gann was nervously checking and rechecking her potato salad. "Do you think they'll actually come?"

"Hard to say." Zatanna replied. "It's a pretty weird situation."

"This whole week has been weird." Conner pointed out, still focused on his grill setup. "What's one more strange event?"

As if on cue, a series of figures appeared on the path leading down to the beach. The villains had arrived, looking distinctly uncomfortable in the heroes' headquarters but carrying various dishes and ingredients.

"I cannot believe we are doing this." Psimon muttered to Devastation as they approached the tables. "This violates every supervillain protocol in existence."

"Lighten up, baby." Devastation replied cheerfully. She was carrying a large pot containing partially prepared stew ingredients and looked more excited than anyone had ever seen her. "It's going to be fun!"

Behind them, the Terror Twins were carrying bags of groceries and looking around curiously. Shimmer and Icicle Jr. followed, walking suspiciously close to each other.

"Nice beach." Tommy commented as they reached the tables. "Y'all have this all to yourselves?"

"Pretty much." Robin replied. "One of the perks of being backed by Batman."

"Fancy." Tuppence said, clearly impressed despite herself.

Kaldur stepped forward, ever the diplomat. "Welcome to Mount Justice. For the duration of this... gathering... we will observe a strict truce. No powers used aggressively, no discussing past battles or future plans, and—"

"No social media." several people finished for him.

"We got the memo." Shimmer said. "Can we just get to the food part? I'm starving."

"First, we cook." Devastation declared, setting down her pot. "Where can I set up?"

M'gann led her to a camp stove they'd set up near the grill. "We thought you might need this for your stew. It's pretty powerful for a portable model."

"Perfect." Devastation replied, looking genuinely pleased. "Thanks, Martian."

"M'gann." she corrected gently. "If we're having dinner together, you might as well use my name."

"M'gann." Devastation repeated, testing it out. "And I'm... well, most people just call me Devastation."

"Do you have another name?" M'gann asked curiously.

Devastation hesitated. "Devorah. But I haven't used it in a long time."

"It's pretty." M'gann said with a smile.

Nearby, Psimon was watching this exchange with a strange expression. He'd never known Devastation's real name either.

"Alright, baby, time to show off those telekinetic cutting skills." Devastation called to him. "These vegetables won't dice themselves."

"I am not your sous chef." Psimon protested, but he moved to help her anyway.

Meanwhile, Conner had finally deemed his charcoal arrangement satisfactory and was lighting the grill with a focused expression that suggested rocket science might be simpler.

"Need any help?" Icicle Jr. offered, approaching the grill. "I could get that lit in seconds."

"I got it." Conner replied tersely.

"Just saying, ice powers come with fire control too." Icicle Jr. persisted. "It's a temperature thing."

"I SAID I GOT IT." Conner repeated, more forcefully.

"Okay, okay, jeez." Icicle Jr. backed away. "Just trying to help."

Shimmer appeared at his side. "Let the clone do his BBQ thing. It's obviously important to him."

"I was just being nice." Icicle Jr. muttered.

"Nice is suspicious coming from us." Shimmer pointed out. "They're not used to it."

"Neither am I, coming from you." Icicle Jr. replied with a small smile.

Shimmer rolled her eyes but didn't move away from him.

As the evening progressed, the initial awkwardness began to dissipate – aided significantly by the delicious smells coming from both cooking stations. Devastation was in her element at the camp stove, directing Psimon with surprising authority as they prepared the Bialyan feast. Conner had finally got the grill going and was carefully arranging burgers, hot dogs, and chicken with a level of concentration usually reserved for defusing bombs.

The others had divided into groups to handle various preparations: Artemis and Zatanna were making a salad, Robin and Kaldur were setting up a drinks station, and the Terror Twins were... well, they were mostly sampling everything and being shooed away by whoever was cooking.

"Stop eating all the chips!" Wally complained when Tommy reached for the bowl again.

"That's rich coming from you." Artemis shot back. "You've gone through two bags already."

"Fast metabolism!" Wally defended.

"What's your excuse?" Artemis asked Tommy.

"I'm just plain hungry." Tommy replied with a grin.

As dinner preparations continued, something unexpected happened. The heroes and villains began to talk – not about battles or powers or world domination, but about normal things. Music preferences, movies they'd seen, places they'd visited. It turned out that despite their differences, they had more in common than any of them had expected.

"Wait, you like Galaxy Wars too?" Robin asked Icicle Jr. in surprise.

"Are you kidding? I've seen every movie like twenty times." Icicle Jr. replied enthusiastically. "Even the prequels."

"Especially the prequels." Robin corrected with a grin.

"The prequels are trash and you both know it." Artemis called out from the salad station.

"Blasphemy!" both boys exclaimed in unison, then looked at each other in surprise.

Meanwhile, Devastation was showing M'gann how to properly toast spices. "The key is to heat them just until they become fragrant, but before they burn." she explained. "It releases the essential oils and enhances the flavor."

"That's fascinating." M'gann replied sincerely. "On Mars, we don't really cook. Most of our food is consumed telepathically."

"How does that even work?" Devastation asked, genuinely curious.

As M'gann launched into an explanation of Martian food consumption practices, Psimon found himself actually listening with interest. He'd never bothered to learn about Martian culture beyond what was useful for battle.

"The food is synthesized using psychic energy?" he clarified when M'gann finished. "That's actually quite sophisticated. I had assumed your species simply consumed nutritional paste or something equally primitive."

"Careful, Psimon." Devastation teased. "That almost sounded like respect for a hero."

"It was scientific curiosity, nothing more." Psimon replied stiffly, but without much conviction.

The sun was beginning to set over the ocean, casting a golden glow across the beach as the cooking neared completion. The combined smells of grilled meats and Bialyan spices created an intoxicating aroma that had everyone gathering around the tables in anticipation.

"Dinner is served!" Conner announced proudly, carrying a large platter of perfectly grilled meats to the table. His usual scowl had been replaced by a look of satisfaction as he surveyed his handiwork.

"And the Bialyan feast is ready as well." Devastation declared, bringing over the pot of fragrant stew, now complete with tender lamb, vegetables, and a rich, spiced sauce. Psimon followed with flatbreads he had warmed and the rice dish with almonds and raisins.

As everyone took their seats – heroes and villains intermixed in a way that would have been unthinkable a week ago – there was a moment of awkward silence. Who would speak first? Was there some protocol for a dinner party with your enemies?

"So." Wally finally said, "do we like, say grace or something?"

"To whom?" Psimon asked. "I doubt we all share the same theological beliefs, if any."

"How about a toast?" Robin suggested. "That's neutral enough."

Kaldur nodded and raised his glass. "To unexpected gatherings and the common ground of good food."

"And to truces that let us enjoy it without throwing it at each other." Artemis added with a smirk.

Everyone laughed and raised their glasses, the tension broken. Then they dug in, passing dishes back and forth across the table, exclaiming over flavors, and for a little while, forgetting they were supposed to be enemies.

"This stew is amazing." Robin declared after his first bite. "Devastation, you weren't kidding about being a chef."

"Told you." Devastation replied, looking pleased. "The key is the blend of spices and slow cooking."

"And the telekinetic vegetable cutting." Psimon added unexpectedly. "It ensures uniformity of size for even cooking."

Devastation beamed at him. "See? Perfect sous chef material."

"The burgers are great too, Conner." M'gann said, smiling at him. "Worth all that charcoal arranging."

Conner looked inordinately proud. "Thanks. It's all about the heat distribution."

"I still could have helped with that." Icicle Jr. muttered, but he was smiling as he said it.

As the meal progressed, the conversation flowed as freely as the lemonade and soda. Stories were shared, jokes were told, and for a brief time, they were just young people enjoying a beachside dinner together.

"So there I was." Tommy was saying, gesturing with a chicken leg, "stuck in this air duct with the security guards right below me, and I sneeze. Not just any sneeze – we're talking a full-on, earth-shaking, super-strength sneeze that bent the metal!"

"What did you do?" Zatanna asked, caught up in the story despite herself.

"Only thing I could do." Tommy replied with a grin. "I yelled 'Gesundheit!' from above, and when they looked up, I said, 'Don't mind me, just your friendly neighborhood air duct inspector!'"

The table erupted in laughter, even Kaldur chuckling despite his usual reserve.

"Did they buy it?" Robin asked incredulously.

"Not for a second." Tuppence answered for her brother. "I had to bust through a wall to get him out before they filled the duct with knock-out gas."

"Siblings to the rescue." Artemis said, raising her glass to Tuppence, who returned the gesture with a surprised smile.

As dinner wound down and dessert was brought out – ice cream courtesy of Icicle Jr.'s powers and cookies M'gann had baked (which were surprisingly good) – Psimon found himself in conversation with M'gann and Zatanna about the nature of psychic versus magical powers.

"The fundamental difference." he was explaining, "is that psychic abilities manipulate existing mental constructs, whereas magic alters the fabric of reality itself."

"But both require tremendous focus and visualization." Zatanna pointed out. "The methodology is different, but the mental discipline is similar."

"Precisely." Psimon agreed. "Which is why individuals with aptitude for one often have potential for the other, though few develop both."

"That's fascinating." M'gann said. "On Mars, we don't distinguish between psychic abilities and what Earth would call 'magic' – it's all considered part of the same mental spectrum."

"Your species has a more integrated understanding than humans." Psimon observed. "It's actually quite advanced."

"Okay, who are you and what have you done with Psimon?" Devastation interrupted, sitting down beside him with a bowl of ice cream. "You're having a civil conversation about powers with heroes."

"It's an intellectual discussion." Psimon replied defensively. "Knowledge is valuable regardless of its source."

"Uh-huh." Devastation said skeptically. "And it has nothing to do with you actually enjoying yourself?"

Psimon opened his mouth to deny it, then closed it again. "Perhaps." he finally admitted quietly, "this evening has been less intolerable than anticipated."

"High praise from you, baby." Devastation said with a smile, boldly taking his hand under the table.

To everyone's surprise, including his own, Psimon didn't pull away.

As the stars came out over the ocean and the evening grew cooler, someone (later, no one could quite remember who) suggested a bonfire. Soon, a cheerful blaze was crackling on the beach, with heroes and villains gathered around it, sharing more stories and even a few marshmallows for roasting.

"This is nice." M'gann said softly, looking around the fire at the unusual gathering. "Different, but nice."

"It can't last." Kaldur replied, equally quiet. "Tomorrow we return to our separate paths."

"But maybe those paths don't have to cross in conflict quite so often." M'gann suggested hopefully.

"Dream on, greenie." Shimmer interjected, having overheard. "We're still villains. It's what we do."

"Is it, though?" M'gann asked. "Or is it just what you've been doing? Devastation was a chef before. Maybe there are other paths for all of you."

There was an uncomfortable silence around the fire. The question hung in the air, challenging assumptions that none of the villains were quite ready to examine.

"Let's not ruin a good meal with recruitment pitches." Psimon finally said. "We agreed: no hero-villain conversion speeches."

"Fair enough." M'gann conceded. "But the offer stands, if any of you ever want to talk about... alternatives."

"Noted." Devastation replied, more gently than anyone would have expected. "But for now, let's just enjoy the fire and the stars, yeah?"

Agreement rippled around the circle, and the moment of tension passed. But something had shifted, however subtly. A seed had been planted, a possibility introduced that hadn't existed before their strange series of fast food encounters.

As the fire began to die down and yawns became more frequent, it was clear the evening was coming to an end. The villains helped pack up the cooking equipment and leftover food, which was divided equally between the two groups.

"So." Robin said as they finished cleaning up, "same time next week at Burger King?"

"Don't push your luck, Boy Wonder." Psimon replied, but there was a hint of amusement in his voice.

"You have to admit." Devastation said as the villains prepared to leave, "this was better than fighting."

"Less property damage, certainly." Kaldur agreed with a small smile.

"And better food." Conner added. "Though I still maintain BBQ is superior to fast food."

"On that, Superboy, we can finally agree." Psimon said, much to everyone's surprise.

As the villains gathered their things and prepared to depart, there was an awkward moment where no one quite knew how to say goodbye. They weren't friends, exactly, but after sharing a meal and conversation around a fire, they weren't quite the same enemies they had been before.

"Well." Kaldur finally said, "travel safely."

"And maybe we'll see you around." M'gann added. "You know, not in battle."

"Perhaps." Psimon replied noncommittally. "Though I wouldn't count on it."

But as the villains turned to leave, Devastation suddenly turned back. "Thank you." she said simply. "For the dinner, the conversation, all of it. It was... nice to feel normal for an evening."

The heroes seemed taken aback by her sincerity.

"You're welcome." M'gann replied warmly. "And thank you for teaching me about Bialyan cooking."

With final nods and awkward waves, the villains departed, leaving the Young Justice team standing on the beach, watching them go with mixed emotions.

"That was surreal." Artemis said once they were out of earshot.

"But kind of awesome." Wally added. "Who knew villains could be... you know, people?"

"Everyone is a person, Wally." M'gann pointed out. "Even our enemies."

"I know, I know." Wally replied. "It's just easy to forget sometimes when they're trying to take over the world or kill us."

"Well, tonight they weren't." Robin said. "And it was actually pretty cool."

"Do you think anything will change?" Zatanna asked. "Because of this?"

Kaldur considered the question seriously. "Perhaps not in the large ways – they are still committed to their path as we are to ours. But in small ways? Yes, I think something has changed."

As they headed back to the mountain, each lost in their own thoughts about the evening, none of them noticed the dark figure watching from the cliffs above the beach.

Batman had seen everything. And contrary to what the team might have expected, he wasn't angry. He was thoughtful.

Because sometimes, the most effective way to change the world wasn't through battles, but through understanding. And tonight, a small group of young heroes and villains had understood each other a little better than before.

It wasn't world peace. It wasn't even a guarantee that their next meeting wouldn't be in combat. But it was a start.

And sometimes, that was enough.