Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Left, right. Left, right. Left, right. The sound of feet pounding on the ground echoed in her ears, almost drowned out by the sound of gunfire and desperate cries. The last thing she expected from this day was a chance to escape. A chance at freedom.

~

“Ace! Where did’ya go?”

Tony was standing in his workshop, one hand holding several different colored wires between his fingers, and the other flipping up the visor on his welding mask. The workshop itself was a mirror image of its creator's brain - disorganized to most but everything was in a very specific place. 

“I need my extra hands back!”

A girl raced around the corner, setting her clipboard down and ducking a few stray cords as she navigated over to her boss. He was trying to fix part of the suit that had been damaged on the last mission, and she was the only person he would trust to be near his precious equipment.

“Hold” he said simply, passing over two of the cords. “And don’t let them touch”

He went about his tinkering, not bothering to explain the process. You, (Y/N) had been deemed Tony’s “Life Assistant”. The job was simple enough - make sure that the tower was always stocked with anything he needed, along with ensuring that Tony got proper medical attention after missions and accidents.

Proper medical attention, meaning herself.

Tony refused doctors and therapists adamantly, but thanks to your powers, he would put up with you after a fight to heal his injuries. You could heal almost any wound, along with helping people get over mental trauma, meaning that you were very valuable to Tony Stark.

(Y/N) had been working with the owner of Stark industries for just over two years, and it amazed you that he had put up with you for that long. Your transition into the tower hadn’t been an easy one, but now (even if you hid from essentially everyone but Tony) you were pretty well adjusted.

It didn’t take long for him to grab the wires back, attaching them back to the inner paneling of the suit and closing the small opening.

“Done! Mark IV should be back up and running now” he grinned.

“Tony! Get your ass up here! You said ten minutes half an hour ago!”

Pepper’s voice crackled across the intercom, making (Y/N) chuckle as you tossed Tony a rag to wipe his hands. He rolled his eyes, wiping off the grease.

“Coming dear!” He called back with a dramatic but fond roll of his eyes.

“Thanks Ace” he clapped his hand on your shoulder as he walked by and headed back up the stairs to the elevator.

Tony had always been good to you. Beyond good. This last year you had seriously helped him with his panic attacks, and the two of you were slowly working through some other mental trauma that often kept him up at night. In exchange, he let you stay in the tower and keep to yourself. 

Your meeting had been less than favorable, in all honesty Tony should have killed you straight up. But by some miracle you were alive - warm and fed, thanks to the genius philanthropist playboy - and for the first time you could recall, living some semblance of a normal life. 

Tony hadn't told anyone but Pepper about you and what you could do, because the last thing either of you wanted was for Nick Fury to step in and make things complicated. 

Little did you know, that in a few hours you would be leaving the safety of the Stark tower and the Avengers would be seeking her help. 

Chapter Text

“Look, (Y/N), I know you think this is a bad idea, but- “

You cut Tony off with a vigorous shake of your head.

“Come on Ace! Last time all of us went on a mission I was stuck in medical for hours! If you would just come, I know the whole team would appreciate it!”. Tony was pleading now, looking at you with his best attempt at puppy eyes.

Being the stubborn, nervous person you were, you adamantly refused the idea of coming with the Avengers team on their next mission. The idea had been suggested before in the past, but every time without fail you came up with an excuse or simply refused until Tony left you to your own devices. It was his posture that gave him away this time - he was actually concerned about this mission and you could tell. 

He must have known that he was wearing you down, because as soon as you let out a heavy breath and your posture slumped slightly in defeat, Tony grinned his signature ‘I finally got what I want’ smile. Beckoning for you to follow, he ordered JARVIS to fire up the quinjet and led you out towards the upper levels of the tower.

“Thanks, (Y/N) …” his voice was laced with true sincerity, which only seemed to rattle your nerves further.

He led you out of his office and into the next room, where the doors to the landing strip were swinging open as the high-tech platform turned to release the plane.

“The rest of the team is making their way upstairs, sir” JARVIS’s familiar British accent reverberated down from the speakers as Tony walked up the ramp to the jet, heading into the pilot’s quarters.

You paused for a moment, staring at the confined quarters. Even after over a year in the tower, whenever the Avengers – or anyone for that matter – came to the tower, you quickly tucked yourself away in your office and found some work to do. It wasn't that they didn't intrigue you, but rather that the delicate balance you had struck up with Tony was something you didn't want to risk jeopardizing if something was to go awry.

They were the Earth's Mightiest Heroes, yes. But that didn't mean that everyone would be as understanding as Tony.

The quinjet’s engines thrummed, sending a warm wind your way. Tony could be vexing sometimes, but he meant well in the end. Arms crossed over your chest, you took a deep breath and shut your eyes for a moment. So much could go wrong by putting yourself in this situation, however Tony must have some level of confidence in you and your ability to control your other set of powers.

One foot in front of the other you took the last few steps up to the base of the base of the ramp, however just as you reached the base of the entrance your foot caught in the gap between the metal door and cement.

As you stumbled slightly (luckily good balance came with your previous lifestyle) a hand wrapped itself around your arm and steadied you before you could right yourself on your own.

“Watch your step.” The voice came from slightly behind you, and you turned to see Clint with a slight smile pulled across his face. His tone wasn’t quarrelsome, only slightly apprehensive and serious. He was already in his black mission suit, bow and quiver slung across his back and ready to go.

Forcing a grateful smile back, you swallowed hard and gently pulled your arm out of his grip.

“Ah! I see you’ve decided to join us, Legolas. Welcome back to the world of the recklessly brave”

Clint shook his head with a faint look of amusement. “Thanks, I guess”

“I see you’ve already met (Y/N). She’s our in-flight healthcare for this mission”

“Nice to meet you”

You nodded back quietly, sliding past the two men and into the main area of the aircraft. You could hear more voices joining those of Tony and Clint, but didn’t turn to see who had arrived as you checked the medical kits to see what other equipment you had to work with in case of emergency.

Footsteps echoed around the enclosed space as the door was lifted, and the team filed in. No one really paid you any attention as you observed the group of heroes in front of you. Tony was headed back into the control room, followed by Barton, who seemed to be adamantly defending his choice of working with a bow and arrow rather than a gun. Thor, in his full godly gold and red outfit as usual, was deep in conversation with Steve Rogers, who was adorning his blue, red and white suit. Mjolnir and Captain’s shield hung from their respective sides, clean and prepared for the fight ahead. Natasha, in a black skin-tight suit with gun and knife holsters, was sitting down near the back with Bruce Banner, in plain jeans and a button down shirt.

As the quinjet hovered up above the ground and breezed away from the Avengers Tower, Natasha was the first to see you. She stood up immediately, defensive.

“Who are you?”

The rest of the team turned to face you, making you shrink back towards the wall slightly. The scrutiny of their gaze was unsettling, considering up until now Tony had made sure you never had to face more than two or three people at once. 

JARVIS chose that moment to speak up, thank god, saving you from further questioning from the very team you had been so keen to avoid.

"Miss (Y/N) was invited upon this mission by Mister Stark"

"And why doesn't 'Miss (Y/N)' speak for herself?"

"(Y/N) does not have the ability to speak"

Tony ducked out of the pilots compartment, placing himself between you and the rest of the team.

"What does Jarvis mean, she can't speak?" asked Clint as he took his place beside Natasha

"Ace went through some shit before I found her."

Tony spoke quietly, looking at you out of the corner of his eye. He knew that you were only humoring him by being here, that if you had the choice you would gladly take one of the parachutes you had eyed by the door and jump right then and there. 

"What's she doing here then?"

"She's our medical assistance for this mission" he explained.

"Medical? She's a doctor?"

"Not.... Exactly."

Your eyes were locked on the ground, pulling at the neck of your hoodie uncomfortably. Could this have gone any worse? You had assumed that Tony would have told SOMEONE that you would be tagging along, but, alas, apparently not.

Wonderful.

Chapter Text

"What do you mean 'not exactly'?" Natasha questioned, frowning as she stared at Tony.

"And why didn't we know about her?" Bruce piped up for the first time.

"If anyone knew about her Fury would have had his mitts all over her" Tony grumbled. "We worked very hard to keep this quiet, and I for one would like to keep it that way."

"You'd better get explaining Tony, before someone decides to chime in" Clint warned, tilting his head towards Cap. The icon of patriotism suddenly didn't look as friendly as he did when he ran press junkets, his expression was hard and very clearly demonstrated a lack of patience with how Tony was dancing around the subject of your 'abilities'.

Tony glanced behind his shoulder at you, and you shrugged. There wasn't anything you could do now, he had already dangled the metaphorical bait and they were clearly not planning to stop until they'd gone in for the kill.

"(Y/N)... Isn't exactly human"

"We already caught on to that"

"I'm not going into why or how, so don't bother asking. Ace here, has the ability to heal people. Physically, mentally to an extent, pretty much anything but bringing back the dead"

The team looked past the billionaire at you, and you shied away from the attention. Being a very private person meant that being in the limelight was not the ideal situation, especially in this case.

"Alright! Now that that's all cleared up, what's the plan boss?" Tony switched the subject without a waiver, smoothly shifting all attention to him and Cap who was looking slightly less frustrated.
Ducking past your boss, you slid into the cockpit and sat down in the chair. Their voices carried in but you ignored it, watching the ocean fly by as autopilot shot you across the sea to the next remote HYDRA base.

Loosing yourself in the calming scenery of the ocean, you didn't even hear footsteps approaching the cabin until a hand was placed on your shoulder.

Reacting instantly you spun around out of the chair and into a defensive stance, until your (Y/H/C) fell out of your face and you realized that it was only Clint, watching you with a slightly surprised look.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you" he apologized, rubbing the back of his neck.

After observing him for a short pause, you raised your hands and took a uncertain breath.

"It's okay" you signed back to him.

His face lit up, expression brightening in a way that you couldn't have ever expected. This obviously excited him, because he raised his hands immediately and started signing back.

"You can sign? How much do you know? How long have you been practicing?" His hands flew, making you smile a little wider.

"Only a year, but I'm working on it"

"I'll help you learn. That way we can talk about the team behind their backs!" Clint looked way too excited about this possibility.

“You don’t think it’s… weird that I can’t talk?”

Clint shrugged. “Not like I haven’t seen weirder” he admitted, and you nodded, realizing that was probably very true.

“I’ve gotta get back in there and make sure that Steve doesn’t throttle Tony, as funny as that would be to watch. I’ll see you later?”

You nodded, smiling a little as you watched him walk back into the open area of the plane where the others were discussing quietly amongst themselves. This had gone much better than you expected it to, and you relaxed back into the seat.

~

About half an hour later, the quinjet touched down in a forested area. Tony was now in his Iron Man suit, and the rest of the team was geared up and ready to go, Steve revving the engine on his motorbike.

“Just stay put (Y/N), and be ready in case there are injuries when we get back” Tony instructed, before the door opened and the team rushed out. It didn’t take long for the gunfire to start, making you uneasy. The door shut, locking you safely inside while the fight raged outside.

The com’s were live, and JARVIS turned them on in the jet so that you could hear what was going on.

“Shit!”

“Language!”

Steve and Tony’s voices resounded from the speakers, making you shake your head at their childishness. Tony, you expected it from. Captain America, not so much.

As Tony tried to find a way in to the Hydra base, the others fought to take out guards and get as far into the compound as they could.

“We have an enhanced in the field.” Steve sounded slightly breathless and concerned as he radioed to the others.

“Clint's hit!”  That made you flinch, hands twitching. You couldn’t run out and do anything, Tony had told you to stay put and you weren’t armed.

A moment of discussion passed, before Natasha radioed again, this time to you.

“(Y/N), Thor is bringing Clint to you now”

Walking from the control panel to the door, you pressed the button and lowered the access ramp just in time for Thor to walk Clint up into the ship.

You gestured to the chairs lining the main area and Thor laid him down, glancing at you and nodding briskly before jogging back out and swinging Mjolnir, taking off into the air and leaving a crackle of electricity behind.

Looking down at Clint, you shook your head disapprovingly.

“It’s not like I meant to get shot!” he protested, and groaned in agony.

You crouched down, pulling the sleeves of your sweater back and gingery shifting the leather of his jacket and his hand away so that you could see the injury.

“Jesus! Your hands are freezing” he yelped, voice wavering slightly in his attempt to distract from the situation at hand. “I’m not going to grow an extra head or anything, right?”

Shaking your head again, you pressed your hand cautiously over the injury and focused all your attention on the wound. Clint watched in absolute morbid fascination as a blue glow crept down your veins, starting at your heart and creeping down to your hand. When it reached your hand, it seeped into Clint’s skin and illuminated the bullet wound with the same pale blue light, as the skin repaired itself and the bleeding ceased. His breathing evened out as it healed fairly quickly, his eyes locked on your hand as he watched you work.

"What the...."

A smile tugged at your lips, and you glanced up at him from your work. He met your gaze, grinning in disbelief.

“That’s… Never seen that one before”

You shrugged, removing your hands, which were now covered in his blood, and reach for a cloth to wipe it up.

“So that’s why Tony keeps you around” he grunted as he sat up, still slightly tender. The skin where he had been hit was now smooth and lacked any evidence that it had ever happened. He reached up, realizing that all the small nicks on his face and arms were gone now as well.

“Thank you” he sounded so sincere, it made you pause and look back up at him.

You nodded, handing him the cloth so he could wipe away the blood.

“We have the scepter. Let’s get back home, guys”

By the time that Clint was cleaned up, the team was lumbering back onto the ship. Immediately your feet carried you over to Tony, as the mask pulled back from his face.

“I’m fine this time, (Y/N), the others couldn't keep up though. They're too slow” he teased, shooting you one of his signature grins. You rolled your eyes at him, shaking your head in mock disapproval.

Sure enough, in glancing around you realized that the rest of the team was bruised and bloody, but hardly looking worse for wear.

“Looks like Dr. Cho didn’t really need to fly in this time” Banner remarked, walking over to Clint to see what you had done. “That’s incredible!”

“See! My own walking medical station, except she gets it done in half the time” Tony bragged, as the suit released its hold on him and receded back to its holding place.

You made your way over to Natasha first, who was closest to you. Hesitating, you waited for her to give you some sign of approval before approaching any further.

“Go ahead, I’m sure that everyone wants to see how this works anyway.”

You crouched on the ground in front of where she was sitting, letting the blue light creep down your arms again as you rested your hand on her arm. The aura absorbed through her suit, illuminating a small cut on her cheek as it closed up without a trace. Even the bruises patching her body vanished, and she cracked her neck.

The rest of the team was staring blatantly at you, the burning sensation of eyes on your back making you shift uncertainly.

“That’s…” Bruce sounded awestruck.

“Your Midgardian friend shall come to be very useful” Thor chimed in.

Standing up, you moved on to the next closest person. Bruce was firing questions at Tony about how it worked while you healed a few small scrapes on his hands, before moving on to Thor. By the time you were finished with them, everyone was distracted by their own separate conversations.

Steve was pacing, slightly away from the group when you approached him. It was obvious that he was deep in thought, arms crossed tightly across his chest. You approached slowly, and when he looked up from the floor you gestured to a seat slightly away from the others.

He sat, letting out a small grunt as he did and shooting you what you assumed was supposed to be an appreciative look from under the dirt and blood on his face. Again, you dropped down onto a knee in front of him silently and reached out to touch him.

“I’m sorry about earlier… Thank you for helping us”

His voice startled you, but the words even more so. Your face immediately flushed and you looked up at him uncertainly. He was staring back at you, a question obviously forming in the look he had on his face.  

Chapter Text

“I’m sorry about earlier… Thank you for helping us”

His voice startled you, but the words even more so. Your face immediately flushed and you looked up at him uncertainly. He was staring back at you, a question obviously forming in the look he had on his face.

-

“Does… Tony isn’t forcing you to do this, right?” he asked, and you let out a sharp exhale.

Hands trembling slightly, you shook your head and wrapped your fingers around his arm. It took a little more effort to heal him because of how much you had already used your powers, but none the less a few scrapes and bruises on his body shone blue before dissipating.

It’s him. It’s really him. Do I… get JARVIS to tell him? No. No way. No. Just… Forget about it. He’d just reject you anyway…

Your mind was racing as you stood up.

“Thank you, (Y/N)”

Without thinking you started to sign a response, but the confused look on his face made you realize your mistake.

“Miss (Y/N) was trying to say ‘it’s not a problem’, Captain Rogers” JARVIS’s voice came from the ceiling, which settled a little of the anxiety bubbling up in your throat. JARVIS translated sign language for you when there wasn’t any other way to explain what you wanted to convey.

He smiled reassuringly, obviously thinking that you were just flustered from the mistake of language barriers, not the fact that he had just spoken one of the sentences that were inked on your chest.

“Still, thank you”

Ducking your head and forcing a small smile, you stepped back and scampered away to a more secluded area of the plane. Thank god that Tony didn’t skimp on transportation, because you wanted nothing more than to hide your face and try to collect your thoughts.

What you weren’t expecting was the small, almost hidden section of the plane that you were so fond of, to already be occupied by one Clint Barton. He was leaning back in one of the chairs, inspecting one of his remaining arrows with his bow and quiver spread out on the floor in front of him.

“Everyone feeling okay now?”

You nodded, ruffling your (Y/H/C) hair.

“I’m sorry, did I intrude on your hideout?”

“Its not a problem, you’re welcome here”

“Are you sure? You’re looking a little… Frazzled”

Nodding, you sat down across from him and signed heavily.

“Tired?”

“Something like that”

The rest of the flight was passed in a comfortable silence, listening to the voices that were carried in from the main area. Everyone seemed to be in slightly higher spirits, despite what you had heard about the enhanced that made the team see their worst nightmares. The enhanced that were in the field must have been HYDRA’s newest experiments, because they sure brought havoc into the team when they weren’t prepared to handle that.

It gave you a lot of time to think, too.

Steve Rogers, was one of your soul mates. Steve. Captain America. The man out of time. God, how many names did he have? Did he have two soul mates? What would happen if you told him? What wold happen if you didn’t tell him? The two sentences scrawled on your collarbones were part of the reason you kept going, holding on to hope that one day you would meet them. But would you be able to settle for just being around him?

Sometimes soulmates didn’t ever get to meet each other, either because of death or simply circumstance, but when two soulmates do meet it’s almost impossible to miss. Everyone experiences it differently, but most commonly it’s described as a euphoric and warm feeling that both partners feel.

Just thinking about all these questions made your head hurt, and your stomach queasy. Whenever you thought about his face, it felt like something inside you was pulling you towards him. Apparently that happened sometimes with soulmates, if they were apart for too long. Why it was happening to you so soon after meeting him you had no idea, but you could only hope that he wasn’t feeling it too.

When the plane started to lower itself to the landing base on the Avengers tower, you and Barton emerged from the secluded room and joined the others just as the door opened and Maria Hill walked on the jet.

“Lab’s all set up, boss”

“Turns out we don’t require Dr. Cho’s services anymore, I’ll have JARVIS let her know. Oh, and, he’s the boss. I just pay for everything, and design everything and make everyone look cooler” Tony said, swiveling in his chair and grinning sarcastically at Steve.

“What’s the word on Strucker?”

Steve and Maria walked off the ship while they discussed the mission, and you leaned on the wall waiting for your boss to emerge.

“Well, that was fun” he rubbed his face. “Why did I think it was a good idea to bring you?”

Smiling sadly and making your way to him, you put a hand on his shoulder and he let out a deep sigh as his mental tension was relieved slightly. It always helped Tony when you could take a little of his anxiety or distress away, letting him think clearer and process whatever he needed to do.

“Right” he sighed, some stiffness leaving his posture.

Smiling sadly, you walked with him off the plane and into the living area of the tower. Most of the team had disappeared, probably to write mission reports and to clean themselves up. The two of you passed through and down the hall to the lab, where Banner was already inspecting Loki’s staff.

“Alright. Look alive, Jarvis. It's play time. We've only got a couple days with this joystick so let's make the most of it. Update me on the structural and compositional analysis.”

Settling down in a chair in the corner, you watched Tony and Bruce run software and programming to try and figure out what exactly the gold staff was made of, and what it could do. It was always fascinating to watch Tony work in the lab, he usually knew exactly what he was doing (although the results were often a guessing game) and since pretty much all you could do was listen anyway it wasn’t a new game for you to sit quietly and observe.

Tony could work for hours on one project, forgetting to eat and drink a lot of the time. He got caught up in mechanics and schematics, letting other problems go untouched for days. That’s why you and Pepper came in so handy, it was up to the two of you to make sure that the business ran smoothly and that Tony didn’t work himself to death. When he stepped away from his work he was entertaining and humorous, and threw a damn good party, but it was important that he was reminded to take a break sometimes.

~

By the time they were exhausted and done for the day, it was almost time for the party to start. Tony had been planning this for weeks, meticulously scheduling the evening with your and Pepper’s help. When guests were to arrive in an hour, you ushered Tony out of the lab and made him go get changed.

Tony’s parties weren’t your thing. Before the guests arrived you always went and got a drink from the bar before disappearing for the night so you didn’t have to socialize. However since Pepper was out of town, today it was your job to make sure everything ran smoothly. As Tony changed you walked to the common area, making sure that everything was set up for guests. The bar was stocked full of alcohol, furniture had been shifted around to accommodate all of the guests and the lights had been dimmed to give a better view of the city outside.

“You joining us tonight?” Natasha’s voice came from behind you and made you jump. Her cream dress hugged her curves perfectly, and scarlet lipstick made her lips fuller and highlighted her spotless makeup.

Turning around you shook your head and held up your checklist of things to ensure had been done before the event started.

“I see, planning duty.”

Shrugging, you ticked off the last thing on the list and glanced around. Everything was in place, now to get a whisky and retire to your room for the night. Flipping the page over you scribbled down “have a great night :)” and turned it to show her.

“Thanks” she smiled, and you walked around the counter to pour yourself a drink. Taking a sip and refilling it before walking away, you slipped through the door that led out of the common area only to walk face first into someone’s chest. Long fingers wrapped around your arm and steadied you before you could spill any whisky and made sure you had your balance back.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t see you”

Steve’s voice made you shiver and you blushed, pulling your arm away gently. Mouthing a “Sorry”, you ducked by him quickly and hurried down the hall hoping that he wouldn’t follow. You hadn’t even looked up when you ran into him, but you could see his face clearly in your mind even as you avoided the conversation.

Hands shaking as you hurried away from the patriotic icon, you slid into the elevator and took it up to your floor of the tower. Near the very top (four floors down to be exact) Tony had refurbished a level to act almost like a penthouse suite for you. It had a kitchen, two bedrooms (Dammit Stark) and all the necessities you wanted, or Tony decided you needed. It was only two floors above the party so the music was still somewhat audible, making you cringe.

Once you got inside, you immediately settled into a big, comfy recliner in the living room with your glass and (Y/F/B), well prepared to spend the night in the privacy of the private floor. This was how you spent your nights most of the time, doing as much work as possible from the secluded floor that allowed you plenty of privacy.

The festivities were obviously going well and picking up quickly, laughter and loud music making you shake your head. That wasn’t your kind of scene at all. Having grown up in a highly dysfunctional family before all this happened, social situations often made you uncomfortable and lacked any kind of gratification. Tony fed off being the center of attention, but for you it was the exact opposite.

As you read your book, you fiddled with the rips in your jeans, and the drawstring of your hoodie. That was your normal wardrobe, jeans and a pullover that covered almost all of your skin. The only parts that were left open were your hands and face, the rest covered by clothes that mysteriously appeared in your wardrobe almost weekly. Of course Tony was behind it, but you didn’t say a word.

When things started to settle down and guests started to leave, you set your book down and composed yourself before climbing back into the elevator and going down two floors to start cleaning up. The team was settled in chairs around a table, laughing and drinking as they attempted to lift Mjolnir to see who would ‘rule Asgard’. Shaking your head fondly and grabbing a serving tray, you started collecting glasses to bring back to the bar to be washed. Technically this wasn’t your job, but it seemed to be more helpful than hovering around to make sure that Tony got to bed okay and didn’t pass out on the bar (yes, that happened once).

“Worthy... No... How could you be worthy? You're all killers.”

Everyone fell silent immediately and turned to face the direction the voice had come from. Standing there was a tattered and nearly dismembered robot, obviously scuffed up from the fight.

Tony tapped on his remote control watch. “Reboot, Legionnaire, we got a buggy suit.”

“There was a terrible noise...and I was tangled in... In...Strings. I had to kill the other guy. He was a good guy.”

Taking slow steps backwards, you jumped when someone grabbed a hold of your arm. Dr. Cho was behind you, holding a freshly refilled drink and looking just as nervous and uncertain as you did when JARVIs didn’t shut down the bot.

The next thing you knew, the walls felt like they were crumbling as more Iron Legion suits crashed into the room, blasting at full power.

Chapter Text

Steve was the first to jump into action, kicking a table up so that it blocked the first suit that shot his way. It still sent him and Agent Hill flying backwards, glass and shards of wood skittering across the floor. Thor immediately grabbed Mjolnir and swung at the next bot, sending it hurtling back into the wall. The whole Iron Legion burst into the room, clouding the air with dust and rubble.

You pushed Dr Cho back behind the piano, and scrambled to the other side of the room in an attempt to get to the mainframe control panel to reboot JARVIS.

Glass shattering and the sound of metal on metal behind you suggested that the rest of the team had sprung into action, your speculation being confirmed when glass shattered beside you and rained down over your head. You could hear the team shouting to each other and guns firing, along with the robotic voices of the Legion claiming they were ‘here to help’. Thor called out to Steve, a flash of blue and red reflecting on the window as the Demi-God threw the SHEILD across the room.

However, your beeline for safety was interrupted when a glint of blue caught your eye, and you realized that one of the Iron Legion suits had grabbed hold of Loki's scepter. A quick glance around made it clear that the team was in no shape to get it back, as Steve was hanging off the back of a suit that was flying in midair, Tony was struggling to try and shut one down, Thor had two suits firing at him and Clint and Natasha were nowhere to be seen.

Without hesitation, your path away from the flight changed as you raced up the stairs onto the second floor, as the suit shot out of the lab. By the time you made it to the top it had almost reached the end of the walkway, but the split second you had to react was enough. You jumped off the platform and grabbed tight to the bot, with every intention of pulling it to the ground so someone else could handle it.

However, grabbing onto a live and exposed piece of wiring wasn’t part of that plan.
As the bot spiraled towards the ground your body convulsed, seizing and releasing it from your hold. It sputtered then flew out the window immediately, as you hit the ground hard in a pile of broken glass.

“That was dramatic! I'm sorry, I know you mean well. You just didn't think it through. You want to protect the world, but you don't want it to change. How is humanity saved if it's not allowed to...evolve?”

The lead bots voice cut through the painful haze as you tried to push yourself to your feet. The team was standing in defensive positions, listening to it talk as it picked up a dismembered suit head.

“There's only one path to peace: The Avengers' extinction.”

Thors movement was a blur as he threw his hammer, slamming through the bot and the wall. The team all flinched, staring at the heap of sparking parts for a moment as you tried to collect yourself.

Out of nowhere, the blinding pain returned and you dropped back to the ground from your hands and knees convulsing as an electric current ran through your body.

Tony heard the sound of you hitting the floor and turned, seeing you seizing and writhing in agony. He understood what had happened right away, rushing over and grabbing a blanket along the way. The rest of the team, confused, made their way over carefully.

He didn’t dare touch you before you stopped moving and your breathing became more regular, but as soon as it did he helped you sit up and wrapped the blanket around you.

“Damn that thing to hell” He growled, pulling at the neck of your sweater. “I swear to god, I will find a way to get this stupid thing off you”

“Tony? What the hell are you talking about?”

“None of your damn business”

“I beg to differ” Natasha argued, crossing her arms.

“I mean it. This doesn’t involve any of you”. He looked you in the eye, assessing how hurt you were. “You okay, Ace?”

You nodded, taking a shuddering breath and rubbing your arms. He stayed there for a minute, watching you to make sure that you weren't going to pass out as the team argued behind him.

Tony stood up, patting your hand before dragging Bruce off to the lab to figure out what had just transpired. The rest of the team lingered for a moment, waiting you uncertainly as you avoided their gaze from the floor.

Tony’s hostile response had obviously made them rethink asking what had happened again, as they filtered slowly out of the room. You could hear raised voices from the lab already, as you pushed yourself to your feet and made your way to the bar.

Blanket still pulled around your shoulders, you poured yourself another glass of whisky before walking up the partially destroyed staircase. As you entered the lab, the hostility in the air was overwhelming. As Tony tried to explain his logic behind the Ultron program, you slid into a chair behind one of his computers and started searching for anything that might help them track it down. Agent Hill was quick to realize what you were doing and came to hover over your shoulder and watch, while the testosterone-ridden men in the room continued to fight unnecessarily.

By the time the had finished tearing at each other, the computer was already running programming to track Ultron and note any breaches at weapons facilities all over the world.

“(Y/N)? What are you doing?”

You stood up and waived your hand, and the screen flew from the desktop to the projection at the center of the room. Coding and numbers flew by for a moment, before showing key words such as ‘weapons breach’, ‘systems hacked’, ‘metal man’ and ‘robots’.

“How is it possible for you to be one step ahead of me even after you were just electrocuted?” Tony questioned, admiring the programming. “Until this picks something up, there’s not much that we can do. I’ll keep looking for a trail”

“Well then, we’d better rest up, because this could get really bad, really fast”

The team glanced around at each other, worry and anger playing across their faces.

“Is anyone hurt?”

Clint was the one to respond. “Not badly”

You nodded, leaning on the desk. One by one the team walkedout into the destroyed common area, talking quietly amongst themselves while Tony searched for any signs of his failed creation.

He sat at one of the desks and put his head in his hands, sighing heavily and threading his fingers through his hair. After giving him a moment like this, you stood up and walked over behind him. Applying gentle but firm pressure you rubbed his shoulders, trying to coax him gently out of that position and ease some of the tension.

“I didn’t mean for this to happen…” his voice was soft, and despite how defensive he had been before, he sounded genuinely upset and concerned now.

“I was trying to protect the world, not put it in danger”

You continued to rub his shoulders, knowing that at the moment there was nothing that you could say to make things better.

~

It took him a few minutes to collect himself, but he then promptly asked you to leave him alone so that he could work in peace. Obliging, you exited and headed out onto the balcony that was attached to the other end of that floor.

It was a clear night outside, and despite the bright city lights you could see the stars hovering over the tower. It wasn’t too hot considering the time of year, and a slight breeze ruffled your hair as you leaved out on the railing and watched the cars driving past on the ground.

“What are you doing out here?”

The voice coming from behind you made you jump, spinning around to see Steve leaning on the wall behind you. When you walked out he hadn’t been visible, until you were fully out on the balcony.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you”

Reaching into the pocket of your jeans you grabbed a pen and small notepad, scribbling down your response.

“It’s okay, I didn’t mean to disturb you, I’ll go”

“Don’t go, I wouldn’t mind some sane company”

“Sane?”

Steve sighed, stepping forward and leaning on the wall beside you. He also leaned on the partition, looking out over the city. Lit up by the passing cars far below and bright lights of the New York skyline, he looked even more handsome than before.

"All of this technology... Trying to end a war before it starts... It almost feels like I'm living the 1960's again..." He admitted quietly.

"Of course, now the machines are more sophisticated and everything is more complicated, but... Its Almost like SHEILD is doing the same thing HYDRA did before I went under"

You watched him talk, listening intently to what he had to say before starting to write.

"I can see why it's similar... But this time it's being done with the best intentions. Tony didn't mean to do what he did. It doesn't mean that what he did is right, but he will try to do everything in his power to fix it"

Steve sighed as he read your quick scrawl. "I know you're right, as much as I hate to admit it... I just wish he would have talked to us first... Thought this through before creating a murderous robot..."

"Me too"

"Are you okay? After what happened back there, I mean..."

It was your turn to sigh, looking back out at the lights and shrugging.

"I'm assuming I'm not going to get an explanation"

A shake of your head confirmed his guess.

"How long have you worked for Tony?"

"About a year"

"And before that?"

"I had a very different career"

You could feel him looking at you, as you looked up at the sky and tried to keep a calm demeanour.

"How'd you end up working for Tony?"

"It's a long story"

He crossed his arms as he leaned on the rail, taking a long and deep breath. He closed his eyes for a moment, deep in his own thoughts as the wind picked up for a moment before dying down again.

"Seems like everyone here has something to hide"

"I guess that's what comes with the super power territory"

"I guess so..."

You fell into a comfortable silence, one hand running over your collar bone where his writing was inked into your skin. It was warm and tingling a little, and something inside you was itching to reach out and touch him.

"Cap... If you ever need to talk, about anything... I'm a pretty good listener. I can tell something is on your mind"

He glanced over at you. "I appreciate that. And maybe I'll take you up on it"

"I'm all ears"

"It's just... So different now. Some things are good, I'll admit, but other parts... And not that long ago, someone from my past, who I thought was dead, turned up..." He trailed off for a moment, struggling to form the right words.

"My best friend. Bucky. We grew up together in Brooklyn, and served together in the Howling Commandos until... He fell off a moving train, into a ravine... But... He doesn't remember me. At least, I don't think he does. HYDRA somehow got a hold of him, turned him into the Winter Soldier... Lethal assassin, accounted with dozens of kills over the time that I was in the ice"

He glanced over at you, meeting your gaze. You nodded him on gently, encouraging him to keep talking.

"I can't find him now. Doesn't matter what I do or where I look, he's completely disappeared"

"I'm so sorry Steve..."

"Don't apologize. You didn't do it"

"I know you heard Tony talk about my powers, to an extent. If you want, I could... Ease a little of that angst, so everything's a little clearer"

"I don't want to use you"

"It's okay, that's what I'm here for" you assured,  smling softly. "Whaddya say super soldier?"

He paused for a moment, looking at you and assessing the situation. "Okay"

You nodded and reached out slowly, putting your hand on his shoulder and shutting your eyes. Even just having contact with that one part of your body allowed you to feel his muscles relax when you sifted through some of the emotions, sorting through the confused mess which would leave him feeling much better in the end. Blue light radiated over his skin where you were touching him, illuminating both of your faces with the soft glow.

The best description that Tony could ever give of what you could do was cataloging a library. It was like you could take all of a persons thoughts and emotions, and sort through them so that everything was less stressful and overwhelming.

Considering the situation at hand, you didn't have nearly enough time for a full session. After two or three minutes you pulled away and looked at Steve, realizing that his eyes were closed.

"Normally I would take a few hours to do a thorough job, but we don't exactly have the time. So this is just a taste of how much it helps some days"

"That's..." He trailed off, searching for the right word. "I feel much better"

You smiled, rubbing your hands together. "Anything else on your mind?"

Another silence fell over the two of you as he ran his hand along his arm, assessing where he was emotionally and what to do now. His face was pensive, his eyes staring out at the city but not really taking anything in anymore.

"I'm just... Not sure what to do. They expect me to be a leader, to give orders and have a plan... But I don't have one."

Chapter Text

 “Cap! Get your ass in here” Tony called. “And grab everyone else”

You smiled sadly at Steve and put your hand on his arm briefly.

“Thank you, (Y/N)” he said honestly, putting his hand over yours for a moment.

The gesture made your heart falter for a second, leaving a warm tingle on your skin as he pulled away and walked inside. You watched him go, staying outside for a moment to regain composure. That was the first time that Steve had really talked to you, and he was just as good a guy as you had hoped.

The team was gathered again, staring at a picture of Strucker's dead body with the word PEACE written in blood on the wall next to him.

“Everything we had on Strucker has been erased.” Natasha chimed in, as she studied the computer screen in front of her.

“Not everything” Tony said, and headed down the hall.

You ducked out of the room, following him along the hallway to a room a few doors down. Inside were boxes upon boxes of folders and papers about old SHEILD allies and enemies, along with anything else Howard Stark had deemed ‘important’.

It only took moments to find the information on Strucker, hauling the boxes back to the lab and dumping them on the table.

“Known associates. Well, Strucker had a lot of friends.” Said Steve, flipping through a dossier with old, slightly yellowed papers.

It didn’t take long for Tony to recognize one of the arms dealers from his days making weapons. Tony brought up a picture of Ulysses Klaue on the screen, and Thor picked up immediately on the scar on the back of his neck. Tony claimed it was a tattoo, but you knew better.

Poking your boss to make him step away from the computer, you started typing vigorously.

“Hey! Was that really necessary?”

You turned and stuck your tongue out at him, making a couple people chuckle despite the situation at hand.

“It's a word in an African dialect meaning thief, in a much less friendly way” Banner read from the screen as you searched, hovering over your other shoulder.

As they discussed the origin of the dialect, Wakanda, you continued to look through the files and gather what information you could. If they were going into this somewhat blind, they would need as much information as possible.

“Where is this guy now?” Steve inquired, looking at Tony. But it was you that threw an open folder onto the table that sat between everyone, with last known whereabouts displayed front and center.

“Suits on guys, we need to move. Jet leaves in 10 minutes” the team quickly parted ways to go and get their respective outfits on, as you folded papers back up and sorted them back into boxes.

“Ace! Feel like a brief vacation to Africa?” Tony asked, as he tapped away at his computer. “I think you’d really like it there”

You rolled your eyes, setting the box aside.

“As long as I don’t have to wear any spandex”

 He chuckled. “I think that’s reserved for the star-spangled Capsicle”

“Good”

By the time the lab was cleaned up (to an extent) and Tony was in his Iron Man suit, it was time to leave.

The team had congregated outside the jet, discussing how they were going to get inside and what to expect when they got there. Even though they were walking in somewhat blind, plans were still necessary to keep a little bit of order to the chaos of a fight. Thor hitting Tony with a hammer because he thought it was Ultron wouldn’t be a pretty sight.

“So what? We go in guns blazing? How do we even know that’ll work?”

“We need to find out what Ultron wants the Vibranium for” Tony chimed in as they walked on to the plane and it took off. “Maybe we can diffuse the situation before anything gets out of hand”

“The situation is already out of hand”

“Steve…” Natasha’s tone was warning, and Tony’s expression said that they were both nearing the limits of their patience.

 “What? It’s true. If Tony had just talked to us about this-“

“You two are like children” Clint snapped. “We have more important things to do then bicker, so can it”

The rest of the flight was mostly silent.

“(Y/N)? Tony drag you along?”  Clint sat down beside you, signing fairly quickly.

“You could say that. However now that I see how reckless some of this team can be I feel better being here”

Clint chuckled. “Too much testosterone”

“You’re telling me”

Clint was good company, and by your judgement so far one of the most sane on the team. You normally had a good sense of what kind of person someone was, and Clint seemed about as good as they get.

Compared to normal travel, Tony could essentially cut flight times in half. However, that still left you with a several-hour flight to deal with, on a plane filled with alpha-male type men who were all seemingly upset with one person in particular. Tony was in the captains’ pit, and hadn’t come out since you departed from the Avengers tower. The other team members were either asleep or discussing the current events quietly, as you and Clint continued to talk.

“How long have you known these guys?”

“Natasha and I have known each other the longest” Clint signed, glancing over at the redhead. “The others, I haven’t known for too long.”

“Until yesterday I hadn’t met anyone other than Tony”

“That’s quite a leap to make. Little overwhelming?”

“You can say that again” you made an exasperated face that made Clint chuckle.

“What are you two talking about?” Natasha sat down on the other side of Clint, watching your hands carefully as they gestured and spelled out words for Clint

“Just how annoying you are” Clint teased, making her smile softly.

“I keep asking bird brain here to teach me some sign language, but he’s never gotten around to it” she explained to you, and you nodded along while shooting Clint a disapproving look.

“What?! It’s not my fault every time we think we have some down time something explodes!”

“You do have a point.”

“See?!”

“What did she say?”

“That I have a point” Clint chuckled. “She’s on my side”

“Come on (Y/N), we girls have to stick together!” Natasha protested

How they could joke around at a time like this was beyond you. But thinking about it, Clint was right. Every time they had some peace it was disturbed, so situations like this mustn’t seem anywhere near as severe to them as it did to you.

“Hey, (Y/N)… What happened back there? When Ultron attacked us…” Clint asked quietly, both him and Natasha staring at you curiously.

“I grabbed a live wire when I jumped on the bot”

“She grabbed a live wire when she climbed on the bot” Clint translated as you signed, but Natasha’s brow furrowed.

“Tony told me that his bots were coded against electrocuting people…”

You shrugged, trying to act nonchalant. It was obvious that they knew you weren’t telling the truth, judging by the sceptical and calculating looks on their faces, but they didn’t press the subject.

“How far away are we?”

“About an hour” said Clint, glancing at his watch.

“Alright. How the hell did you get ‘how far are we’ from that?”

You chuckled and raised your hands, slowing down the signing. As you moved your hands, Clint explained to Natasha what the gestures meant and how exactly they were interpreted. By the end of the hour, she has a basic understanding of the alphabet and some easy signs like ‘mother’ and ‘father’.

“Alright” Tony emerged from the cockpit for the first time during the flight. “Everyone ready?”

The team came in a little closer, as they discussed who was going to go where. Tony was b-lining it straight to Ultron, while the others handled whoever else happened to be on the ship. You were staying back on the ship with Doctor Banner, as an emergency fallback measure.

Tony had the plane land on a grassy patch of earth within eyesight of the boat, and opened the hatch.

“Wish us luck” he said, taking a deep breath before the helmet of his Iron Man suit closed and he blasted off towards the ship. Next to take off was Thor, swinging his hammer and giving the team a curt nod before he launched towards the sky, arcing the same way that Tony had just gone. The others took off on foot, Clint patting you on the shoulder and Natasha murmuring something to Banner before they exited the aircraft.

The two of you watched them go, falling silent until the team were simply small figures in the distance approaching Klaue’s ship.

“So…” Banner crossed his arms and shifted his weight from foot to foot awkwardly.

You pressed your lips into a fine line, clasping your wrists behind your back.

“Are you feeling okay? You know… after….”

You smiled awkwardly and nodded. “I’m feeling fine, thank you”

“Miss (Y/N) says that’s she’s feeling fine, and thanks you for your concern” FRIDAY translated, startling when it wasn’t JARVIS’s voice coming over the speakers.

“Good” Banner mumbled, looking down.

Even from as far away as they were, they could still hear some of the noise of the fighting coming from the oversized container ship. Banner sat down on the ramp up to the jet and you made yourself comfortable in one of the chairs near the door. The silence was tense, both of you were concerned for the team and how the outcome of this fight would impact everyone, but neither of you voiced it for fear of making things worse.

The last few days had been new for you. Ever since you came to be with Tony as his ‘life assistant’, your contact with the outside world had been minimal at best. Grocery store runs and trips to pick up small things for your boss had been the extent of your social interaction, but now here you were sitting in the back of the Avengers jet after spending several hours with Clint and Natasha. It was all a little overwhelming, since a lot of your isolation had been your own choice. After everything that had happened in your past, you didn’t necessarily trust yourself to be around people.

As you stared out of the open door, a blur sped away from the ship and out of your view. Both you and Banner stood up, glancing at each other.

“What the hell was that?”

You immediately raced for the comm in the cockpit, tapping into their frequency to try and get a read on what was going on.

“Who's ever standing, we gotta move! Guys?” Clint’s voice crackled across the speaker, but no one replied.

“(Y/N)? I think we might have a-“

Banner stopped mid-sentence, and the noise that tore its way out of his throat sounded inhuman. As you rushed back out, a red cloud of mist was settling around his head as he dropped to his knees. Agony was clear in his voice as the veins in his arms stood out, and he cried out again. The shade of his skin started to turn, his pale complexion quickly spreading to green.

You stumbled backwards, back into the jet as he was right in front of the only exit. With your lack of voice there was nothing that you could do, unless you could get close enough to touch him. He trembled on the floor, the change speeding up as his shirt started to rip.

Making split second decisions obviously wasn’t your strong suit.

Launching yourself towards him, you slid on your knees along the floor of the jet in hopes that you could calm him down before he turned completely. But you were milliseconds too late, and just as you came within arm’s reach he stood up, towering over you with a deafening roar.

Shit.  

Chapter Text

The first thing you realized was just how big he was compared to you.

The second, was just how pissed off he looked.

The angry roar he let out made the entire jet shake, as he grabbed for you and tried to wrap his huge fist around you. You ducked away, trying to get under his arms to get outside. The radio was still emitting the voices of the rest of the team, but getting to the console wasn’t an option, and wouldn’t really do you much help (since you couldn’t really communicate anything).

Trying to scramble away didn’t work, and he threw you violently against the wall before heading towards the nearest city.

“Well, that's not gonna happen. Not for a while. The whole team is down, you got no back up here.”

Clint’s voice echoed around the jet from the walkie, cutting through the ringing in your ears. Dazed, you pushed yourself to your feet and leaned on the wall shakily. The cuts you got from the fight with Ultron’s bots had been opened again, and your side was aching badly from hitting the metal.

Shaking yourself off, you walked unsteadily down the ramp and towards the ship that the team was currently still on. The walk wasn’t too long but by the time you made it there, Clint was helping a pale looking Natasha off the boat and Steve and Thor were following close behind. They all looked distant and beaten up, suits and weapons covered in splatters of dirt and blood.

As you went to check and Clint and Natasha first, Thor and Steve talked quietly between themselves. You could see explosions in the distance, realizing that it was Tony and Bruce fighting when Tony’s voice crackled over someone’s earpiece walkie talkie.

“The girl, Wanda, got in their heads” Clint explained quietly, as you healed his and Nat’s scrapes and bruises.

Your brow furrowed, looking up at him with concern.

“We’re all a little rattled”

After making sure that no one was badly hurt, you led them back to the jet. They all flopped down in their seats, obviously exhausted.

“What happened in here?” Steve asked, seeing how the plane was a mess and there were obvious dents in the walls.

“Bruce turned in here” you explained, signing to Clint

“Bruce Hulked out inside the jet” he relayed, concern lacing his voice.

“Inside? Are you okay?”

You shrugged, downplaying it as you moved through the seating area to go and take care of Thor’s injuries. No one asked any other questions, silence falling over the jet. Everyone was lost in their own thoughts, staring at the floor and the walls with distant looks on their faces. It was agonizing, sitting and waiting for Tony to return with no indication of what was going on a few miles away. The news stations were already reporting, but the fight was hard to follow through the eyes of a cameraman that was more interested in the fact that the Hulk was smashing through buildings right in front of his eyes, and not the man in the iron suit that was risking his life to try and get through to Doctor Banner.

The sound of repulsors firing made the team look up, as Tony landed ungracefully on the grass just outside with Banner under his arm. You rushed out as his mask settled back, revealing a cut across his nose and exhaustion written all over his face.

“I’m alright” he assured and tried to brush you off, but one disapproving look made him chuckle and wince. “Okay, maybe not as alright as I could be”

With your watchful eyes making sure he didn’t trip, he walked onto the plane and had the suit taken off by the robotic arms that he had designed and calibrated so carefully. Once he was free, you went straight to healing him as he got Maria Hill on the line.

“The news is loving you guys. Nobody else is. There's been no official call for Banner's arrest, but it's in the air” Maria stated as soon as her image was pulled up on the screen.

“Stark Relief Foundation?” Tony asked, swatting you away as soon as you were done to stop your fussing. You turned to Banner to make sure he was alright as well.

“Already on the scene. How's the team?” She asked, tilting her head

“Everyone’s…. We took a hit. We’ll shake it off”

Clint had situated himself at the controls, flying them away from the ship. The others were strewn about, Natasha and Bruce talking quietly while Thor and Steve sat in taciturnity.

“Well for now I'd stay in stealth mode, and stay away from here.”

“I’m sorry” Banner mumbled once you established that he wasn’t hurt. Giving him a small reassuring smile, you patted his shoulder to assure no hard feelings.

Tuning Maria out and rubbing your face, you seatedyourself behind Clint on the step that led into the cockpit. The exhaustion of the team hung in the air, along with a feeling of defeat. They had hoped that it would have gone better, but things happen and when you’re dealing with a psychopathic murderous robot, plans are somewhat futile.

“Hey, you wanna switch out?” Tony poked his head in, causing Clint to turn around.

“No, I'm good. If you wanna get some kip, now's a good time, cause we're still a few hours out” he replied, turning back to the dark sky ahead of the plane.

“A few hours from where?”

“A safe house” he replied, and you could see Tony make a confused face before turning around and situating himself on a row of empty seats and laying down.

Tapping on the back of his shoulder to get his attention, you signed “A safe house?”

Clint nodded, settling back into his chair. “I hope”

~~

By the time that light had started to creep over the horizon, Clint was starting to decrease altitude. From the seat that you had maintained throughout the flight behind his chair, you could see a farm house barely illuminated by the sunrise.

Rousing the team wasn’t hard, one loud kick to the metal wall sent everyone that had fallen asleep, shooting up with alarmed looks. All except for Tony, who slept like a rock and was extremely difficult to wake up. Being his assistant did have its perks, because you know exactly how to rouse him.

Standing up and grabbing a cup of water, you could feel the others staring at you as you walked over to your boss and unceremoniously dumped it on his face.

He sat up sputtering, and the rest of the team could be heard snickering from other corners of the jet. He glared at you, but it wasn’t angry or hostile, just for show as he wiped his face and sat up.

“What is this place?” Thor asked as the jet touched down and the door opened.

“A safe-house?”

“Lets hope” Clint said, as he led them out and up to the quaint and homey farmhouse that sat in the middle of the clearing. He walked in first with Natasha under his arm, calling out. “Honey, I’m home!”

A brief moment passed before a very pretty brunette walked in, heavily pregnant.

“Hi. Company. Sorry I didn’t call ahead” he murmured, but she didn’t seem to care as she approached with a soft smile.

“Hey” she said, leaning in to kiss him sweetly.

“This is an agent of some kind” Tony said to Thor, looking uncertain

“Gentleman, this is Laura” Clint smiled awkwardly, and the team looked just as uncertain as he pulled her close to him.

“I know all your names” she confessed, one hand resting on her stomach ad the other on Clint’s back.

“Ooh, incoming!” the sound of small feet on hardwood could be heard, as two children came running into the room. “Dad!” the girl cried, running into his arms. He laughed and picked her up as his son went skidding up, and he kissed the top of his head. “Hey, buddy! How are you guys doing?”

“These are… Smaller agents?...” Tony mumbled, surprise etched all over the teams faces, with the exception of Natasha.

“Did you bring Auntie Nat?” the young girl, presumably his daughter, asked with excitement in her voice.

“Why don’t you hug her and find out?” she chuckled, and the girl squealed and ran over to hug her.

“Sorry for barging in on you” Steve interjected, standing awkwardly in a corner.

“Yeah, we would have called ahead, but we were busy having no idea that you existed.”

You and Thor stood awkwardly and silent to the side, shuffling and looking downright uncomfortable, as Clint explained how Fury had set this up for him when he joined SHIELD.

Thor slipped by you midway through the talk, followed quickly by Steve. Debating whether or not to follow them, you leaned on the wall behind you and watched as Natasha rubbed Laura’s stomach fondly.

The now-familiar sound of Thor swinging his hammer and disappearing into the sky was audible even from inside, and you glanced at Banner at the same time he looked at you uncertainly.

Laura looked up at the team, and bit her lip at how haphazard and tired everyone looked. “I’ll make some food”

Steve came back in without Thor, putting his hand on Bruce’s shoulder. He glanced at you, giving you a reassuring nod. All of this was so out of character, for everyone. No one on this team had seen a real ‘family’ in years, let alone dealt with kids.

Laura disappeared into the kitchen, and the kids were distracted by Natasha and Clint, so Steve, Tony, Bruce and you were left standing at the doorway.

“Don’t look so awkward, guys. You’re safe here” Clint assured, looking at the uncertain faces everyone was sporting. “Come on”

He led everyone into the kitchen, gesturing to take a seat. Banner, Tony and Natasha sat down at the table, Steve stood just behind Tony and you leaned in the doorway. Clint’s daughter was still talking with Natasha and his son had disappeared, leaving Laura in the kitchen making eggs.

“Clint, can I help with food?”  you asked when he looked your way.

“Laura, do you want some help making breakfast?”

“Sure!” she smiled softly and Clint gestured you over.

“I don’t think I’ve heard your name” she admitted, holding out her hand to shake.

“This is (Y/N)” Clint said, leaning on the counter as you shook her hand. “She… Can’t talk”

His wife loomed surprised, and you smiled awkwardly at her.

“But she is a good cook!” Tony added

Laura smiled at you. “I’m assuming you can make eggs then?”

A nod was enough for you and she let you take over the eggs wile she started on the other food.

“Quite the place you’ve got here” Steve looked around, giving Clint a small smile.

“I’ve repaired and extended a lot of it, since we keep growing” he chuckled, glancing at his daughter.

“You’ve done a good job”

“An even better job at hiding it” Tony added

You and Laura smiled at his exasperated tone, and you shook your head fondly. Trust Tony to get stuck on something so little when the world was about to end.

The first eggs that finished you put on a plate, you added salt, pepper and paused for a moment before turning to Clint. “Spices?”

“The cupboard on your right” he replied, and you grabbed some chili powder. Adding a dash, you took the plate, after Laura added some bacon and a sausage, and passed it to Tony.

“Aw, you remembered Ace”

You rolled your eyes and turned to Clint again. “Does anyone else have special instructions for eggs?”

Once ingredients were established, you went back to cooking and quickly handed out plates of food with Laura’s help to the others. She sat down at the table and you leaned on the wall, everyone falling silent as they ate. The only noise in the room was forks and knifes scraping on plates, as the food was devoured within moments.

“Is there any way that we can help you, since we are intruding?” Steve offered once he set his plate in the sink and rinsed it off. Guess the chivalry of the 1940’s never really wore off him.

“We could use some more firewood” she suggested

“Capsicle and I will take care of that” Tony nodded, passing his plate up.

“Nat, do you and Doctor Banner want to use the washrooms upstairs and have showers?” Out of the whole team, they were the ones with dirt and blood streaked over their faces. “We are on a water tank, so you guys will have to use them in shifts”

“We would really appreciate that” Nat nodded, washing off her own plate.

Steve went to change clothes and Tony headed outside to set up for the firewood. Natasha led Bruce upstairs, and you and Laura cleaned up the kitchen with Clint’s help. Upon closer observation, you could see her tattoo on the inside of her wrist in Clint’s writing.

Knowing that some people could pull off soulmate relationships in this line of work made your heart ache even more.  

Chapter Text

“Thor didn't say where he was going for answers?”

The axe Tony was holding hit the chunk of wood before him, lodging itself in the bark. He yanked it out, swinging back and lining up for another blow.

“Sometimes my teammates don't tell me things. I was kind of hoping Thor would be the exception.”

Steve hit his piece, splitting it clean through. The two halves toppled to the ground, and he grabbed a new piece.

After changing out of his suit and into a change of clothes from the quinjet, Steve and Tony decided to get going with the firewood while the others cleaned up and calmed down.

You were sitting on the stairs that came down from the front porch to the yard, leaning on the railing and watching them work. Admittedly, you were finding it increasingly difficult to tear your eyes away from Steve. It was mid afternoon and fairly hot, so on top of the form fitted short sleeve shirt that could have easily been considered too small, even with the serum he was covered in a very light sheen of sweat. Every time he swung the axe, his biceps flexed with the motion and you found yourself blushing furiously.

How no one had seen you staring yet was beyond you.

“I don't trust a guy without a dark side. Call me old fashioned.”

“Well let's just say you haven't seen it yet.” He paused, taking a moment to stare at Tony. His tone wasn’t threatening, but there was certainly a warning laced into his response.

Footsteps came out of the house from behind you, and you turned to see Laura setting a tray of drinks on the corner of the railing. She shot you a soft smile, walking down the stairs uncertainly. “They’re… more intense than I realized”

Standing up and stretching as she turned to look at the two men, you tugged the sleeves of your sweater over your hands and made a ‘so-so’ gesture.

“If you guys are staying the night, some of you are gonna have to share rooms” she admitted, glancing back at you. “Would you be okay on the couch? I didn’t think you would want to share….”

Giving her a reassuring smile, you nodded and gave her a thumbs up.

“Thank you” she smiled back, before approaching Steve and Tony. “I'm sorry. Mr. Stark, uh, Clint said you wouldn't mind, but, our tractor, it doesn't seem to want to start at all. I thought maybe you might...”

“Yeah, I’ll give her a kick” he turned to Steve just before we went to leave, and pointed at him accusingly. “Don’t take from my pile”

As he walked away, Laura returned to the house and you grabbed a glass of water from the tray she brought out, walking over and inspecting the piles. Tony’s was much, much smaller than Steve’s, who was standing with his hands on his hips and looking down at the ground.

You held the glass out for him, offering it over. He looked up, the corners of his mouth twitching up into a small smile.

“Thank you” he said as he took the glass, drinking most of it in one go. “I don’t know how you’re in a sweater, even I find it hot today”

You shrugged, sitting down on the stump that Tony had been using to cut the wood.

“And… Thank you for taking care of the team. It’s a dangerous job, and I don’t know how many people would be willing to be in your position”

Looking up at him, his eyes held nothing but honesty. It was clear that he was stressed and worried, especially since right now the team was in shambles and tearing themselves apart from the insides.

He finished off his drink and set it down, grabbing his axe again. Over the past few days you had realized that Steve didn’t like standing around uselessly, he much preferred working even if it wasn’t something overly important.

Sitting there, you were overwhelmed by a feeling of uselessness. Not even able to offer him comfort or a reassurance, you stared at your hands in your lap. Ever since they did this to you, some days had been better than others. But now with no JARVIS, a soulmate that you couldn’t even speak to, and a rampaging robot that was aiming to destroy the world, it seemed like bad days were all that would be coming for a while.

Looking down, you couldn’t see Steve watching you quietly. He could tell that there was more to your story than either you or Tony were sharing, and that you obviously weren’t as okay as you were trying to look.

Returning to his task, the sound of wood splitting startled you and your head snapped back up to watch him. He was incredibly impressive to look at, but the fact that he was honestly a good man that desperately wanted to do the right thing made him all the more attractive to you. It almost made you feel guilty. Watching him now, you couldn’t see any tattoos on his bare arms, so it wasn’t clear to you if he even knew that he had a soulmate. For all you knew, it was one of those situations where his mark didn’t even match your own. Maybe Peggy was his soul mate and he lost her when he went into the ice.

The idea made your heart sink.

“Cap!” Tony’s voice startled both of you.

He was walking back towards the house with a man following behind him. Steve stiffened, setting down his axe. “You were dead”

“Come inside and I’ll explain once to all of you” the man dressed in all black with an eyepatch and a leather duster gestured to the stairs.

‘That must be Nick Fury’ you thought to yourself, standing up awkwardly.

Steve gestured for you to walk out of the piles of wood first, and as soon as he and Nick walked by Tony put his hand on your shoulder.

“Stay quiet and inconspicuous” he murmured softly, sounding almost unsure. “He doesn’t know who you are or what you can do. Let’s keep it that way”

Knowing your backstory, when you came to Tony he agreed to essentially keep you a secret. The government and SHIELD wouldn’t understand your situation, and so far laying low had kept you under their radar.

~

“Well, this is good times boss, but I was  kinda hoping that when I saw you, you’d have more information than this”

Fury was standing in the kitchen, glass in hand, in a grey button down and black pants. Natasha was seated at the table, with Banner at the counter behind her and Tony and Steve leaning on walls opposite each other.

“I do; I have you”

Even from the other room, it was obvious that the team was unsure. From what you understood, Nick Fury was supposed to be dead, and now he was back and trying to influence the team. Sitting on the couch quietly, you could hear what was going on and keep up without seeming too involved. Laura was sitting with you, watching the television with low volume. You weren’t even sure what was going on in the story, despite staring at the screen for the last hour.

“Steve doesn't like that kind of talk.”

“You know what, Romanoff?”

The joke made you smile, brushing your hair back. Based off their tones, the team was relaxing slightly despite Fury’s presence and they were starting to have an idea of where they could catch up with him next.

“We leave at first light” Steve exited the kitchen. Laura had already established sleeping arrangements, and everyone broke off into their separate rooms. Steve had one of the spare rooms, Bruce and Natasha sharing the other, Tony had a fold out bed in the back room and you were currently sitting on the couch with a pillow and blanket beside you.

Clint’s wife turned off the TV and bid everyone goodnight, going upstairs with her husband. Natasha and Bruce followed after, the doctor seeming exhausted as his he trudged up the stairs. You shot Tony a small smile before he exited into the back room, and turned to Cap just as he glanced back at you.

“You sleeping here?” he asked, brow furrowing.

You nodded, straightening out the pillow and giving him a thumbs up as you had with Laura to assure that it was okay.

“Sleep well” he murmured, and took the stairs two at a time back to the second floor.

Digging into the small bag you had brought onto the quinjet and gone to get before coming inside, you pulled out a bottle of heavy duty sleeping pills that Tony had gotten for you. Grimacing when you realized there were only two left, you weighed your options and took one before laying down. Pulling the covers up to your chest, it didn’t take long for you to pass out with your brow still furrowed in concern.

By the time footsteps came back down the stairs, you barely even stirred. Steve peeked around the wall, assuring that you were asleep before creeping down as quietly as possible despite the creaking of the old wooden floors.

He walked over, carefully pulling the covers back and sliding one arm around your shoulders, the other under your knees. He picked your up, and headed back for the stairs. Climbing them was a process, as they were quite narrow and he didn’t want to wake you.

He made it to the landing and headed into the spare room, laying you down on the bed. He took a moment, looking you over and gently brushing a stray hair out of your face. There was something drawing him to you, something that he couldn’t explain.

He wanted to know more, about you and abut your life, but with everything that was happening it wasn’t the time to ask. Sighing, he stepped back and turned around, closing the door as he exited and walking back downstairs again. He headed for the couch, settling himself on the makeshift bed for the rest of the night, falling asleep with a certain (y/h/c) on his mind.

Chapter Text

Waking up in a strange bed in a strange room was quite startling when you had fallen asleep on a couch in a living room not even 6 hours before.

On edge, you sat up quickly and scanned your surroundings, fingers gripping the warm and soft bed sheets tightly. It took a moment before the connection between the wallpaper in this room and the wallpaper in the kitchen dawned on you, and you relaxed significantly.

But how did you end up here?

Stretching as you swung your legs over the side of the bed, you rubbed your face and took a deep breath. Glancing around you saw the door leading to the adjoining bathroom, and headed for the room. Sliding your hand over the wall, your fingers grazed over the light switch with just enough pressure to illuminate the bathroom with a soft yellow light. It was simple, with cream walls, a small shower and a toilet and sink.  Your sock-clad feet made no noise on the tile as you approached the sink, turning the round nob and wetting your hands with warm water. Splashing it over your face chased away the last of the drowsiness from the short nights’ sleep, and rubbing your damp hand over the back of your neck started to settle your nerves.

A flash of light. Fuzzy vision, and voices. Loud voices, making your head hurt as much as the rest of your body did. Someone’s fingers prodded at you, but consciousness was slipping back out of your grasp. It was almost relieving, because the longer you were coherent the more pain you felt. Through the haze you could see a light and blurry faces, but when you tried to pull away you realized that you were tied down. Someone approached, much too far into your personal space, and just as the blistering pain increased on your neck you slipped back into unconsciousness.

Eyes closed and fingers white knuckling the counter top, you inhaled shakily. Once you could bring yourself to let go, you rolled up your sleeves and gave your hands and forearms a wash. The soap smelled like apples and cinnamon, lathering the skin before tracing your finger though the suds and revealing a thin white line that ran down your arm. Once the suds were rinsed off, another three were visible running haphazardly up and under the edge of the black sweater that you kept on throughout the night.

Thank god you left it on, too, or whoever took you to the bedroom would have seen…

You could hear voices coming from downstairs, so you rolled you sleeves back down and padded back out to the hallway and down the stairs. The couch was empty now, blankets folded neatly with the pillow laying on top. The voices were coming from the kitchen, and Natasha walked by the stairway in her black suit. When you reached the first floor, the rest of the team was ready to go.

“Just waiting on you, Clint” Tony was leaning in the doorway.

“I’m coming, I’m coming” he chucked, leaning in to give his wife one more kiss. “Tell the little monsters I love them”

Bruce gave you a small smile and headed outside towards the jet. After saying their thanks, Steve and Tony followed suite.

“Tell Laura I say thank you?”  you signed to Clint, who smiled and relayed the message.

“You’re very welcome. Keep this guy safe, okay?” she swatted at her husband

“I’ll do my best”

“Did you trade beds during the night?” she asked.

“No, I just woke up upstairs. Who was on the couch?”

Clint put his hand over Laura’s mouth, smiling mischievously. “I’ll tell her. Later”

You pouted at him but he only smiled, saying his last goodbyes before walking with you to the quinjet.

“Why won’t you tell me?”

“I will, just… Not now”

The two of you walked up the dropdown, and it closed behind you. The team was already seated and the jet took off as soon as the two of you were on board, minus Tony who has separated from the team to go and find out who was changing the nuclear codes at NEXUS.

“What do you think he could want from Dr. Cho? He’s a robot, how would that even work?” Banner questioned.

“Whatever it is, he’s serious about it that’s for sure.”

“Where the hell did Tony put my arrows?” Clint grumbled.

Without looking, you handed his quiver to him. It had been under the sets, where he had left it the day before. That part of your job was second nature, being observant and aware always tended to pay off.

“Thanks” he took it, counting what he had left.

“Clint, are you prepared to fly this thing if we need it?” Steve asked.

“You bet I am”

“And didn’t Tony say something about there being a motorcycle on board?”

“There’s one in the drop down” Natasha chimed in.

“Good” he nodded. “I’ll go in and flush him out, we’ll have to figure out what he’s up to and work it out from there”

“Sounds like a plan, Captain”

The flight wasn’t long, and before you knew it, Clint was letting Steve out of the jet. He took a deep breath, readjusting his shield, before jogging towards the door of Dr. Cho’s medical lab. Natasha and Clint, along with yourself, stayed inside as Clint pulled the jet back up again to find a safe spot to linger while waiting for further instructions based on the situation inside.

Walking through the open seating area, which seemed almost eerily vacant and silent after having the entire team in it for several impromptu trips, so for a moment you ducked into a side room to regain some composure. The slight tremble in your hands was a tell of how anxious you were feeling, thinking of Steve walking into a fight with hardly any information and a violent and unpredictable robot man on the loose.

The more you were around him, the more you fell for him. The angst at being separated only grew, a feeling that was completely new to you. Tony always joked that “independence was your middle name”, so actually missing someone created a nauseous feeling in the pit of your stomach.

“The real power is inside the Cradle. The gem, its power is uncontainable. You can't just blow it up. You have to get the Cradle to Stark.”

No matter how worried you were, the mission was more important. Returning to the main area and ignoring the questioning gaze that Natasha gave you, Steve’s voice came over the radio.

“First I have to find it. Did you guys copy that?”

“We did” Clint responded, and Natasha started searching through the computer database.

“I got a private jet taking off, across town, no manifest. That could be him.” She suggested, eyes glued to the screen.

Glancing out the window, a glint of light caught your eye as a truck pulled out of the side driveway. Moving up, you pointed at it to show Clint.

“There. It's the truck from the lab. Right above you, Cap. On the loop by the bridge. It's them. I got three with the Cradle, one in the cab. I could take out the driver.” He suggested.

Watching out the window, you could see Steve climbing a ladder up the side of a structure that hovered over the interchange.

“Negative! If that truck crashes, the gem could level the city. We need to draw out Ultron!”

Clint followed the truck with the jet, and you just managed to catch a glimpse of him leaping down and landing on the roof of the vehicle before your line of light was obscured.

“Well, he's definitely unhappy! I'm gonna try and keep him that way.” The sound of something being blasted made all three of you flinch, and the strain in Steve’s voice was evident.

“You're not a match for him, Cap.” Clint cautioned, earning a smack on the back of the head from you just as Steve replied with “Thanks, Barton”

Beside you, Natasha was preparing the motorcycle. She swung her leg over the seat, settling herself and firing it up.

“We got a window. Four, three...” Clint counted down, the hatch opening over the roadway. You gave her a thumbs up, and on one, she gunned it out and sped down the road. Watching from the inside, you saw her lean down to pick up Steve’s shield and speed through traffic towards the truck.

Clint gave Natasha directions as she weaved through the cars, and you joined him in the cockpit to try and see what was going on. He followed above the overpass, only able to see flashes of what was going on while they were out of his line of fire. The jet couldn’t follow under there, so you and Clint were stuck above for the time being.

From what you could see around the flipping and now overturned cars and gaps in the road above the fight, Steve now had his shield but the fight between them was moving, as they ended up on a speeding subway train. Natasha was struggling to get close, the guards on the pack of the truck firing at her.

“Clint, can you draw out the guards?”

“Lets see” he said, angling the jet.

You know how time seems to slow down when you’re facing a life threatening situation? In this case, it seemed to be moving unnaturally fast. The next thing you knew, the sentries were lifting the trailer off the ground and Steve was far ahead, still fighting on the train.

“The package is airborne. I have a clean shot.” Clint followed the airborne vehicle.

“Negative, I am still in the truck!” Natasha’s voice crackled across the radio

“What the hell are you-“

“Just be ready, I'm sending the package to you.”

Clint adjusted in his seat, and you glanced around uncertainly. It was obvious that they had worked together a lot, as they seemed to be totally in sync with each other.

“How do you want me to take it?”

“Uhh, you might wish you hadn't asked that.”

The doors of the truck were swinging out freely, as Clint followed it over the ocean. It was you that spotted a flare of light headed your way, and you tapped Clint who looked anxious when you realized at the same time that It was Ultron.

“Nat, we gotta go!” he said, alarm almost audible in his tone.

You watched, as she pushed the cradle back out of the truck. Clint, master badass that he is, angled the jet in a way that allowed the cradle to slide into the back of the jet unharmed. However, when Natasha was nowhere to be seen and the truck exploded behind you, it became a much more grievous situation.

“Nat! Cap can you see Nat?”

“If you have the package, get it to Stark! Go!”

You and Clint shared an unsure and worried glance, as he hesitated to follow the order. “Do you have eyes on Nat?!”

“GO!” he repeated firmly, and reluctantly, Barton followed the order to turn the jet the other way.

You leaned on the wall behind the archer, pinching the bridge of your nose between two fingers.

Clint slumped back in his seat when the jet was steady, turning it to face you.

“I’m sorry” you signed to him, brow furrowed with concern. He inhaled and exhaled slowly, crossing one arm over his torso and leaning his head on his other hand. You put your hand on his shoulder, giving it a gentle squeeze and trying to help him relax.

What if something bad happened to Nat? Did Ultron get her? From where the jet was, neither of you had seen where she had gone. There were countless things that could have happened, and each one that crossed your mind was more concerning than the last.

“She’ll be okay… She always is” he said softly. Pressing his lips together firmly and putting his hand over yours reassuringly.

“She has to be…” he mumbled softly.

You pulled your hand away to sign to him. “You two are very close”

“We are… Admittedly, out of this whole team, I trust her the most. We’ve known each other for so long, other than Laura I think she knows the most about me. And the same goes for me knowing her” he admitted to you

You smiled sadly, giving his shoulder another squeeze. “It’s Natasha. I think she always bounces back”

He chuckled softly. “If Budapest didn’t prove that to me, then I don’t know what could”

“We’ll find her. I don’t think this team would ever leave someone behind”

“I would like to think so…”

~

Clint managed to land the jet perfectly on the designated area of STARK tower, while Bruce and Tony emerged to join the two of you. When the hatch opened, together you pushed the cradle down and out of the jet.

“So this is what all the fuss is about?” Tony examined it

“He’s having her make a new body” Banner murmured in awe

“Dr. Cho said that the gem is unbreakable, and more powerful than we know. It could level the whole city block if we handle it wrong, apparently”

“Well, I guess this calls for extra care” Tony chuckled, and while they wheeled the cradle back into the tower, you lingered behind to keep an eye on everyone.

“It really is quite… remarkable” Banner admitted

“Keep in mind, this is the bad guy we’re talking about here” Clint warned, eyeing Tony cautiously.

Tony had been very defensive since these events commenced, so none of you were completely certain how he would react to all this.

How would anyone react to this?

Chapter Text

"Anything on Nat?" Banner asked, as they got settled in the lab

"Haven't heard. But she's alive, or Ultron'd be rubbing our faces in it." Tony muttered, imputing calculations into the computer, while Clint attempted to unseal the cradle

"We're going to need to access the program, break it down from within." Banner mumbled, primarily to himself

"Hm. Any chance Natasha might leave you a message, outside the internet, old school spy stuff?"

"There's some nets I can cast. Yeah, alright. I'll find her." Clint muttered, mind obviously elsewhere as he headed out of the room.

That left you, Tony, and Bruce alone surrounded by computers and lab equipment. Knowing that in this situation, you weren’t even close to smart enough to contribute to any ideas, you quietly made your way out of the room and into the hallway.

Clint wasn't the only one with his mind elsewhere. Leaving Steve behind, capable as he was, was harder than you would like to admit. Not only that, but Natasha was with Ultron god only knows where. Considering you had only been around the Avengers team for a few days, this was incredibly stressful.

You found yourself walking down the hall, aimlessly, towards the main area that had been destroyed when the bots had first attacked the team.

It was still a disaster, no one having had enough time to do anything about getting it cleaned up. Debris littered the floor, shattered glass and electrical parts scattered through piles of drywall and plaster. It was easier for you to process things and calm yourself down when your hands were occupied, so you found comfort in grabbing a garbage bag and starting to collect the larger bits of garbage.

A small room. Bare walls, bare floor, one dim flickering light that cast a sickly shade of yellow over the floor. Though the light was dim and would never have lit a normal room, this was small enough that when it buzzed on you would see the outline of your hands curled around your knees, which were brought up to your chest. No windows, no doorknob, nothing to distinguish any sense of touch aside from the scraps of clothes that hung off your shoulders, many sizes too big for the frail figure they covered.

When you snapped out of the scene, you realized that even unconsciously you had been cleaning up the floor, and the worst parts around the bar were cleaned away.

It wasn’t until you heard raised voices that you abandoned the task, frowning as the sound carried through the building. The walk back to the lab was quick, and it didn’t take long for the words to be understandable without even entering the room.

“I'm gonna say this once.” A weight was lifted off your shoulders when you heard Steve’s voice.

“How about "nonce"?”

“Shut it down!” It was clear that tensions were running high as you rounded the corner, recoiling when you saw that the Maximoff twins were also in the room.

“Nope, not gonna happen.” Tony didn’t seem intimidated at all, as he stood in front of the cradle between it and Steve. There was power thrumming through the cords now, powering it up.

“You don't know what you're doing.”

“And you do? She's not in your head?” Banner spoke up this time, crossing his arms.

“I know you're angry.” Wanda sounded calm considering she was in a room full of super people that wanted her dead.

“Oh, we're way past that. I could choke the life out of you and never change a shade.”

You stayed at the door, knowing that if you got involved the result wouldn’t be pretty. After another moment of argument, Pietro ran through the room and tore the cables out of the cradle.

If Steve standing on the opposing side of Tony wasn’t enough indication of the severity of the situation, it was only a matter of time before something fell through.

Which just happened to be the glass.

Under Pietro’s feet.

Clint making his appearance settled which side he was on, as the two sides faced off in the lab. But just as it seemed that things would be getting ugly, someone brushed by you and stormed into the room. The red billowing cape was a dead giveaway that it was Thor, who proceeded to make his way on top of the cradle.

“Wait!” A voice called, but through the sound of electricity filling the room and lighting striking the cradle, the identity of the person was indistinguishable.

The room fell silent after the light ebbed away, as Tony’s machines fritzed due to the sudden increase of power. Suddenly, the lid was blown off sending Thor and shards of metal flying around the room. Fog, glowing an eerie color of blue from the lights, billowed out as a body rose up and stood on the edge of the cradle. He was dressed in red, with gold accents adorning his suit. The team stared in awe, and you stayed at your place in the doorway afraid to go any closer. The new figure exchanged a look with Thor before launching himself into the air and towards the Norse god. Thor managed to gain the advantage and throw him out the window, into the main living area where he stooped just in front of the window outside. 

The team chased after him, Steve jumping out of the already broken window with his shield in hand. Clint ran towards the door that you were still occupying, putting his hand on your shoulder as he passed and rushing down the stairs. By the time you got there, the team was already on edge and ready to fight.

“Why does your "vision" sound like JARVIS?” Steve asked, as you made your way further into the room behind the American Dream. (And, even with the possibly murderous robot in the room, damn did he ever have a fine ass).

“We...we reconfigured JARVIS' matrix to create something new.”

“I think I've had my fill of new.”

~

Shortly thereafter, the team was piling back into the quinjet. After unknowingly proving his worth by picking up Thor’s hammer, the team reluctantly accepted his and the Maximoff twins help and boarded the plane to fly directly to Sokovia.

Clint had already confirmed that Natasha was with him there, as a prisoner. Stev3e was seated in the quinjet, still dressed in the suit with the cowel laying on the floor beside him.

You were standing near the ramp entrance where Tony and Steve were talking, leaning on the wall and listening to the conversation.

“No way we all get through this. If even one tin soldier is left standing, we've lost. There’s gonna be blood on the floor.”

“I got no plans tomorrow night.”

Steve’s comment made your chest ache in the worst way possible. You wanted to be the thing that kept him from feeling that way. It was a sensation that was normal for soulmates, but usually only after they heard the words that were inked on their body. Something that you could never give Steve.

When a hand landed on your shoulder, you jumped a good foot off the ground and whirled around. Clint was chuckling softly at your reaction, but concern for Nat was still written clearly over his face.

“Sorry…” he signed

“Don’t worry about it. Actually, worry about it. You can make it up to me by telling me how I got downstairs”

Clint chuckled. “You really want to know?” he asked out loud. Between Clint talking and Steve and Tony’s conversation, you could just barely hear Banner grumbling over forgetting his book. A small smile tugged at the corner of your mouth, and you reached into the inner lining of your pocket and passed his novel to him.

“How….”

“I ask myself that all the time” Tony walked over, shaking his head with a small smile. “She just knows”

To be honest, it wasn’t ‘just knowing’. Being quiet and listening always paid off. You knew little details that most people wouldn’t have heard, like that Bruce was in the middle of a new book, that Thor was slowly starting to enjoy food from Earth, how Tony was trying to find the perfect shade of red for his suit. Attention to detail was what made Tony keep you around, picking up screwdrivers that he had forgotten here and there and depositing them back in the workshop, things that kept him sane.

The team dispersed to their own corners, leaving you and Clint to talk.

“So how did I get to the bed?”

“You like Steve don’t you?”

His blunt question made you sputter, face turning red.

“The shade of red you just turned tells me that’s a yes”

“NO!”

He chuckled. “You know, Steve doesn’t have a soulmate, from what I’ve heard”

“That doesn’t matter, arrow boy”

“Well, either way, he carried you upstairs and slept on the couch”

Your head turned to Steve immediately, with a look of confusion. He carried you upstairs?

Steve was sitting off by himself, in his uniform, staring down at his hands. His posture clearly seemed stressed, muscles tensed and head bowed.

“I guess he never grew out of the chivalry” Clint chuckled.

“Thank you for letting me know, Clint”

“You bet, kiddo”

You took another glance around the jet. It was eerily quiet, considering the gaggle of people that were seated in various positions around the jet. Tony was in the control seat, fiddling with one of the Iron Man gauntlets to make sure everything was in tip top shape before a big fight. He was your first stop.

He didn’t even look up as you approached, crouching in front of him while he worked.

“I don’t like taking you into a fight…” he muttered.

You raised your hands to sign, but hesitated when you remembered that JARVIS was no longer there to translate.

“I can speak for you, miss (Y/L/N)” FRIDAY assured.

“I kept you out of these situations on purpose” Tony sighed

“She knows, boss” FRIDAY spoke as your hands moved. “She’s scolding you because you know that she’ll be a big help today”

“What happens if Fury sees what you can do?”

“He won’t”

“He could” Tony looked up. “And you know it. I know that you don’t want that… I don’t want that either. I don’t trust him, (Y/N), I just don’t….”

You put your hand on his knee, trying to assure him.

“You grew on me kid, more than I expected. The government doesn’t have a good track record with genetically enhanced people, especially coming from your situation…”

Tony glanced around before moving the neck of your sweatshirt. “Any more shocks lately?”

You pulled away, looking uncertainly back at the others.

“Okay, okay…” he went back to the suit.

“Do you need anything from her before she goes, boss?”

“Not right now” Tony assured. “After, probably”

“It’ll be okay, Tony. You guys can do this”

“I hope so”

Your next stop was Bruce. He had studio headphones on and his nose buried in his book, but with Ultron having gotten in his head and the fact that they were now working with the Maximoff’s, you couldn’t be sure of how he would react to any of this. A light tap on his shoulder got his attention, but he quickly assured that there was nothing you could do and that he was okay (of course, this came with at least a dozen more apologies but you quickly shushed him and told him it was really and truly fine).

The Maximoff’s were seated across from Bruce, speaking quietly to one another in Russian. You paused for a moment to debate if approaching them was a good idea, but Pietro saw you and seemed to make the decision on your behalf.

“Hello, красивая” He grinned at you. Whatever he said earned him a hard smack to the back of the head from his sister, which made him whine and pout at her.

“I’m Wanda, this is my brother, Pietro” she introduced.

The look of surprise that crossed their faces when you started signing was not one that was new to you.

“Miss (Y/N) wanted to see if there’s anything you need” FRIDAY spoke in place of you.

“N-no thank you, that’s very kind of you though” Wanda broke the uncertain silence.

“(Y/N) wants me to assure you that you’ll get used to it” you smiled reassuringly as you signed.

“I’m sorry, we didn’t… expect…”

You gestured that it was okay, with a reassuring smile. Confidant that they were okay now, the last person to speak with was Steve. His back was to you, seated and staring at his hands at the small table that was tucked off to the side of the plane.

As you approached, you didn’t make any noise, startling him when you put your hands on his shoulders.

It made him jump, which made you chuckle silently with a small smile on your face.

“You scared me” he admitted softly.

“(Y/N) apologizes, Captain”

Steve made a face when FRIDAY spoke. “I feel like I’m talking to a robot” he turned around and grabbed a sketchbook off the table, which was when you realized that he had been drawing when he was facing away.

Before you could sneak a peek, he had turned the page and presented you with a blank slip and a pencil. “Is that okay?”

“Of course” you scribbled. “Are you holding up okay?”

“As good as anyone” Steve sat down, gesturing for you to take the seat beside him, which you did.

He sighed softly. “This… feels like we’re walking into an unwinnable fight…”

“And you’re telling me that World War II didn’t feel like that?”

He nodded, making a ‘you’re right’ face. “You make a good point”

“I have an outsider’s point of view”

“Not anymore” he said quietly. You looked at him in confusion.

“You really think that after all this we’re gonna let Tony hide you away again?” he asked incredulously.

“I’m just a kid with some special powers, Cap”

“You’re a part of the Avengers now, even if Tony wants to keep you hidden”

You looked down at your lap. It wasn’t just tony that wanted you to stay hidden. For everyone’s safety, and their cooperation, the two of you HAD to keep your past a secret. It was too long and complicated, and being surrounded by shoot-first-ask-later people made it risky to reveal parts of your history.

“Look, (Y/N)…” Steve put his hand on yours, which made you jump. He paused, frowning at how unsettled that made you.

The feeling of his hand on yours sent a warm rush through your body, and you took a deep breath, somehow the tension easing out of you.

“I know there’s… Things that you and Tony are keeping from the rest of us. I don’t like secrets, but… I trust you. I can’t explain it, but I do. So if you need anything…” he sighed softly, staring at the sketchbook

“Thank you, Cap” you wrote, elegant writing swirling over the page.

“Steve” he corrected, with a soft smile. “Just call me Steve”

One ‘Captain America’ style inspirational speech later, when the plane arrived in Sokovia, the first order of business was to evacuate as many people as possible. Pietro and Wanda came in great use with this plan, urging the police into helping and mentally coaxing families out of their homes and off to safety. Bruce split off to go and find Natasha, while Thor was charged with going underground to see exactly what Ultron had been creating. The rest of the team was to face whatever Ultron sent out to cause damage.

They left you at the outskirts, making sure that people got out of the city alright. But when you heard over the comm system that Tony was headed to face the metal man himself, the urge to go and help was overwhelming.

You were about to go and see how you could help, when the ground started to shake violently. Just a few yards from where you stood, a rupture appeared in the ground. It started to raise up, lifting the city up with it. Before it was too high you got as many people down as you safely could, before running back towards the city and into the panicked crowd.

Chapter Text

Sokovia was chaos.

When Tony made you his personal assistant, one of the things he liked most about you is that you hate chaos.

Gathering the small crowd of people, and ushering them away from the edge, was incredibly hard with no voice. But once they were safely away from the edge, you turned and sprinted towards the center of the city.

Tony had given you clear instructions to stay away, but there were innocent people in danger that they Avengers didn’t have time to worry about with the thought of defeating Ultron looming over their heads. As you approached, it was clear that the fighting had already begun.

Suits, like Tony’s, were attacking people left and right. You caught a glimpse of Wanda’s red mist-like powers down one of the streets, and a flash of blue signaling Pietro was around as well. There were already dead bots on the ground, and buildings crumbling left right and center.

A loud roar gave away Bruce’s location, likely meaning that Natasha was back up and going as well.

“Stark, you worry about bringing the city back down safely. The rest of us have one job: tear these things apart. You get hurt, hurt 'em back. You get killed, walk it off.”

Steve’s voice crackled through the comm system, a widespread message to the entire team. That guy really has an unbelievable understanding of how to motivate people….

But this situation was all too familiar to you. The sound of guns, screams, the groan of buildings fighting not to topple and crush those seeking shelter in their foundation, was threatening to tug at the very strings of your sanity.

Until a voice calling for help caught your attention.

Before you met Tony, chaos was a normal part of your life. War was normal, and the amount of blood that was on your hands could drown you. But since then, your purpose had become helping people.

You veered off towards the sound, ducking around robots and cutting through alleyways until two people came into sight. A girl and a boy, not more than 16 or 17, were cornered by one of Ultron’s bots. The boy was on the ground, clutching his leg (which looked like it was broken) while the girl clung to him fearfully.

Already having a running start, you leapt onto the back of the robot and clung on, reaching through the chinks of his outer armor and tearing at the wires that supplied his power. The heat burned your hands but the attack was unexpected, and it only took a moment for him to topple to the ground.

“T-thank you!” the girl sobbed in a heavy accent, tears clearing the dirt off her face in streaks.

Her companion, who you assumed must have been her brother, cried out in pain when he tried to move. Your brow furrowed and you knelt in front of them, trying to be non-threatening. You put your hand on his shoulder and a blue light emitted from the palm of your hand.

His body relaxed visibly as his leg straightened, staring at you in awe. You shot them a small smile and pointed down a relatively untouched street that would lead them towards the team, who could do more to protect them.

As they dashed off, you stood up and checked this area for more stragglers. The whole while, Tony and Steve had been speaking through the headsets, but you paid it no heed until Nick Fury’s voice cut through.

“Glad you like the view, Romanoff. It's about to get better. Nice, right? I pulled her out of mothballs with a couple of old friends. She's dusty, but she'll do.”

“Fury, you son of a bitch”

While he must have brought relief to the rest of the team, his arrival only made anxiety bubble up in your throat. But it wouldn’t stop you from doing your part in helping.

“Send all civilians to the main clearing!”

And that’s exactly what you did. Building by building, you cleared out the people and pointed them to where they would be picked up by life boats.

“(Y/N)! We need you over by the helicarrier” Steve called you, breathing only slightly laboured.

Two clicks of the button on your headset signaled that you copied, and you took off towards them.

You were only stopped by bots twice, and managed to get around them easily. Violence, towards inhuman machines or not, made you uncomfortable now.

Reaching the clearing was simple enough, and immediately you saw why. They were loading the life boats, but many of the people were injured and being helped or carried on. As Tony and the team figured out a way to get the city down, you focused everything you had on helping the people here.

In the middle of a fight, time seems to either speed up or slow down.  In this case, it felt like everything was moving at a hundred miles an hour, and there wasn’t much you could do other than heal people.

Until you saw Clint carrying a child back towards the life boat, and a stream of gunfire headed towards him. Easily hopping over a piece of rock you rushed that way, but there was no chance of you getting there in time. You watched as he curled around the child, bracing himself for the shots, but they never came.

You hadn’t even seen Pietro speeding that way, but all of a sudden your view was obscured by a car that shielded Clint and the boy from harm.

The moments after that were a blur.

~

The next thing you could remember, you were back on the helicarrier and laying down on a medical bed. Soft murmurs were almost drowned out by the moan of the propellers, but the sound of Pietro’s voice rang clearly even over the background noise.

When your foggy vision cleared, you could see Wanda and Pietro sitting close to the bed that you were on, speaking quietly in Russian. Pietro’s suit was stained with red, and Wanda was obviously patching up some wounds, but the worst of them seemed to have stopped bleeding.

Wanda glanced over to you when you tried to sit up, the bed creaking under your weight. She stood up, as did Pietro, and walked over. She didn’t say a word, simply wrapped you into a tight, bone crushing hug that lasted almost thirty seconds.

“You saved my brother….” She mumbled, pulling away and looking you in the eye.

You smiled softly and shrugged, glancing over at Pietro who stepped forward and hugged you too.

“Thank you, (Y/N)” he rubbed your arm before stepping away again.

“Didn’t know you had it in you, kid”

Tony’s voice came from the doorway to the room, still dressed in the suit but without the face-mask. He had an almost relieved look on his face as he stepped inside.

“You passed out after healing roadrunner over there” he gestured to Pietro. “You’re fine, just take it easy for a little while, it took a lot out of you”

You nodded, glancing past him at the door.

“The others are on board, everyone’s fine” he assured. “A little scraped up, but what can you expect? We did just save the world, after all”

‘True’ you signed back, shifting so your legs dangled over the side of the bed. Tentatively standing up, your legs wobbled slightly but held the weight.

Tony hovered close by, very mother-hen like. Believe it or not, he was quite protective of the people that he grew fond of, as was evident with Pepper Potts and, in this case, yourself.

‘So what now, Tony?’

“We can relax, that is, until the next global threat rolls around and someone comes grovelling to us to fix it”

‘No one came to us to fix this, since we were the ones that started it’

“Touché” he chuckled awkwardly. “I’m sweating, I’m going to go get this thing off. I’m glad you’re okay, kid”

He patted you on the shoulder before exiting the room again. Wanda handed you a pile of clothes.

“There’s a washroom just over there” she gestured, and you thanked her, before turning to go change.

They obviously weren’t your clothes, as the sweater was several sizes too big and the sweatpants wouldn’t have stayed up if it weren’t for the drawstring. They were too big for Tony, too small for Thor, which left… Steve. If the Brooklyn logo down the leg of the pants wasn’t indication enough.

The clothes must have been left over from when the helicarrier was used during the battle against Loki and the Chitauri.

You just hoped that someone had asked before stealing his clothing. Because if it wasn’t awkward enough being his soulmate when he didn’t even know, stealing his clothes would definitely put a damper on the relationship that you were hoping would continue to grow.

Changing took a moment longer than expected, as your dirty and ripped sweater got caught on the metal around your neck. Untangling it took a moment, and so did getting it over your head due to sore shoulders, but you exited a few moments later.

Wanda and Pietro had disappeared, so you left the room and headed down the hall to what you hoped was the common area. Sure enough, after a few minutes of searching, you found a sitting area that as occupied by a few familiar faces. Maria Hill sat with Steve, Clint and Bruce, talking quietly amongst themselves.

They turned when they heard your footsteps on the floor, smiling reassuringly at you. Clint moved over, inviting you to sit with him on the two seater couch.

Two steps into the room, an excruciating pain radiated through your body, and you hit the ground with a loud bang. The world went fuzzy, voices muffled and distorted as your consciousness waivered.

Someone dropped to their knees in front of you, hands extending in what seemed almost like slow motion, until someone pushed them away.

Tony.

He understood what was happening, thank god. It took a minute before your head started to clear, an argument more understandable now, and vision slowly clearing.

Tony was standing between you and the others, in his normal clothes now. You couldn’t see his face, but from his tone of voice he sounded angry. Steve was obscured from your sight, yelling back at Tony. Clint and Bruce were staring at you, as you tried to sit up.

“– Tony, just tell us what the hell is going on!”

“It’s none of your business” he argued, following Clint’s gaze back to you. “Has it passed, kid?”

You nodded meekly, rubbing your neck and trying to avoid the gaze of the other Avengers.

Tony knelt down, checking you over. “Not too bad this time….”

“I swear, Tony, just tell us what’s happening!”

Taking a deep breath, you nodded to Tony, who looked surprised. It was pointless to hide, as this would only keep happening.

“There’s… Some things about (Y/N) that we haven’t told you….”

“Like what?”

You sat up fully, tugging the sweater over your head, and revealing a metal collar that sat snugly around your neck.

Which was clearly branded with the Hydra symbol.

The mood in the room changed immediately. The air seemed to be heavier and the walls pressed in, as Steve and Clint tensed up right away.

“What the hell?!”

“Just calm down, and let me explain” Tony sighed

“Calm down?! She’s Hydra!”

“Not anymore” Tony snapped. “Like I said, let me explain”

“You have two minutes”

“(Y/N) is the daughter of a pretty well-known and brilliant, in the most awful and sadistic way, scientist. He worked for Hydra until he died. When she was a kid, her mom died in a car accident. It drove her father crazy, and he started experimenting on her. That’s why she has the powers she has, and once the tests worked, they put the collar on her. It’s a shock collar, like what you would put on a dog, but powerful enough to do a lot of damage to a person”

Steve and Clint were listening intently, staring past Tony and at you. You hung your head, listening to him speak and trying to ignore the hostile looks the others were giving.

“She was like an attack dog, doing what they wanted and cleaning up their messes just because if she didn’t, they could activate the collar. They sent her after me, and I accidentally broke the remote that triggers it. Now it goes off randomly, but we have no idea how to get it off.”

Because you were examining the ground very intently, you didn’t notice that the hard looks on the surrounding people’s faces had softened.

“How long has that collar been on?” Bruce asked softly.

“Since she was nine” Tony replied.

Steve went to take a step forward, and Tony stopped him.

“I’m not going to do anything” he assured. Tony hesitantly let him forward, and he crouched down in front of you.

“I’m sorry that we reacted how we did” he murmured to you. “I think you can understand why…”

You nodded, still looking away and at the floor.

“The collar is also the reason why she can’t talk. Somehow they wired it to her vocal chords, which is why we can’t remove it without doing damage”. Tony explained, watching Steve closely.

“Well, I guess that’s one more reason to go after Hydra. Can’t let them hurt one of our own”

You looked up at Clint, who was smiling sadly at you.

This could have gone a lot worse.

Chapter Text

Hours later, the jet landed back in New York. After the crisis in Sokovia, everyone was eager to return to their normal lives if only for a few days. Clint was already planning on leaving the instant the helicarrier touched down to go back to his family, Banner was long gone in the stolen jet with no further communication, and Tony was eagerly waiting to show off the newly built Avengers facility.

But where did that leave you?

The last week had been a whirlwind, drawing you into a group that you had effectively avoided for several months previous. Tony wanted you to come with himself, Steve and Natasha to the new Avengers Compound where they would be training the new recruits, but after so many months of working alone and being happy in your own company the change seemed intense and intimidating.

Clint caught you by the arm before you stepped off the jet, spinning you to face him.

“Stop thinking so hard. I know you were trying to keep the whole Hydra thing on the down-low, but its better that we know. Now we can help you, and Tony, find out a way to fix this”

You forced a small smile and nodded uncomfortably. In all honesty, all you wanted to do was run to your room and hide so you wouldn’t have to face the secrets that came out.

Clint gave your arm a squeeze before exiting the aircraft, and you hesitated to follow. An overwhelming feeling of panic overcame you, like a heavy weight pressing on your chest and restricting the flow of air. It took a second before any oxygen reached your lungs again, face white as a sheet and fingers trembling slightly in the pocket of Steve’s oversized hoodie.

“Kid?” Tony’s voice made you glance behind you. “Come on, let’s get going” he wrapped his arm casually around your shoulders, treating it like he hadn’t seen the fleeting terror that had been etched on your face.

Tony had gotten used to that look. It went from daily, when he first found you, to a few times a week that you would be overcome with panic for no discernable reason. He wasn’t one for touchy-feely, but moving on and distracting you seemed to be enough to ease the discomfort.

“We’re gonna drive to upstate New York, meet Steve, Natasha and Thor there” he explained, as he led you to the elevator and down to the parking garage. “I figured we would drive, get some air”

You nodded meekly, staring at your feet.

“Look, Ace… I know that’s not exactly how we saw this going, but… In the end, they took it well. Now we have more people looking for a way around the collar, and we don’t have to hide the shocks anymore…”

“I know, Tony… It’s all just overwhelming. I’ll be okay” you assured him in sign language, with Friday translating. He ruffled your hair.

“I know you will be.”

He led you over to one of his numerous cars and you climbed in the passenger side, the sound of tires squealing on the floor echoing around as tony sped out of the underground.

~

The ride passed silently, with very little communication between the two of you. Some small talk was made, but both of you relished in the silence aside from the sound of wind whipping flying in the open windows.

Steve and Thor were waiting outside the building when you arrived, having taken the quinjet instead of driving. You shooed Tony off with them, before heading inside and investigating the Compound.

It was a lot like the inside of the Stark Tower, but designed primarily for training instead of research.

Part of you regretted not following Tony – the compound was massive and teeming with people that were unfamiliar and loud.

After wandering around for a short while, you settled on heading outside where the feeling of claustrophobia might dissipate. You made it out just in time to wave a shy goodbye to Thor before he was pulled back up to Asgard, leaving Tony and Steve standing in the lawn together.

“That man has no regard for lawn maintenance. I’m gonna miss him though.”

Tony glanced over at you, taking note of your weary and tired expression.

“Maybe we should stay here for a bit, kid. You look exhausted”

Shrugging, you tugged at the collar of your sweater and stared at the intricate Norse pattern etched into the ground. Staying meant more time with Steve, but that could be a good or a bad thing.

“I need to reinstate some programming from JARVIS into FRIDAY anyway. I can do that from here. Or maybe I should take a page out of Barton's book and build Pepper a farm, hope nobody blows it up.”

“The simple life” murmured Steve pensively.

“You’ll get there one day”

“I don't know, family, stability. The guy who wanted all that went in the ice seventy-five years ago. I think someone else came out.”

Hearing that from Steve made your heart ache for him.

“Come on Ace” Tony headed back for the compound, with you and Steve trailing behind.

“Natasha is handling the new recruits, but you’re going to have to help her out some Steve”

“I figured” he nodded

“Rooms are on the second floor. They aren’t as nice as Stark tower, but they’ll do”

A yawn escaped you, and you could feel Steve watching you from the corner of his eye. Over the last week the only sleep you’d gotten was at Clint’s farm, and it seemed that Steve knew that.

“I’m gonna go see if they set the lab up properly. Think you two can manage?” Tony stopped and turned to face you.

You nodded. Of course, metalhead.

After FRIDAY translated, both Steve and Tony chuckled. After bidding a temporary farewell, Tony headed off the other way and left you standing with Steve.

“So….”

Chewing on your bottom lip, you averted your eyes. After revealing that you had worked for Hydra in the past, you weren’t sure how welcoming Steve was going to be.

“There’s a living room upstairs, from what I’ve heard. I missed a lot while I was in the ice, and I think it’s time we all relax a little. Maybe now is a good time to start catching up on all the movies I missed”

You chucked and nodded uncertainly.

“Maybe you can… come help me set the TV up? I’m still working out how to use all of Stark’s things…”

Gesturing for him to lead the way and then following along quietly, you took a moment to admire the man walking in front of you. If he had longer hair, you were sure he could be mistaken for another god of some kind. His physique was almost unfair – and of course, impressive to say the least.

By the time the two of you made it up to the common room, you probably could have drawn his back from memory alone. Once Tony left, you would go with him, and god only knows if you would ever get to see Steve again.

“So, got any suggestions? Sam has suggested some things but…” Steve held out a notebook to you, and you delicately took it to flip through the pages.

“Not all these really seem like your kind of thing, Cap”

FRIDAY’s robotic voice translated for you. He chucked and nodded.

“I know. Personally, I want to ease into it a little, that’s why I thought you might have a suggestion”

“What about Disney?”

“They’re still making Disney movies? I remember seeing Snow White in theatre when it first came out… No one really thought they would make it”

you chuckled and turned on the TV, pulling up a list of watchable Disney movies. Steve stared at the screen, mouth slightly agape in shock.

“Well, I guess they were wrong” he finally chuckled. “Go ahead and pick one.”

Pondering your options for a moment, you settled on Aladdin. Steve was about to sit down on the couch, so you set down the controller and went to leave the room, but his voice stopped you.

“Wait…”

You froze, hesitantly turning to face him.

“Do you… want to stay? Watch it with me?” he asked, seeming a little unsure of himself.

After a second’s hesitation, you nodded. His smile became a little more enthusiastic, and the two of you sat down on the couch. There was about a foot of space between you, and the atmosphere was slightly uncomfortable, but by 20 minutes into the movie that had dissipated.

Steve was asking you all kinds of questions about the evolution of Disney and how they animated things now. You answered the best you could, scribbling your words down in his little notebook and passing it back and forth between you.

When you ran out of space and went to turn to a new page, something caught your eye. A sketch, towards the back of the book, of a man with long hair and dark eyes. The hesitation in your movement caught Steve’s eye, and he looked over at you.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to snoop…” you wrote on a clean page, turning away from the drawing.

“It’s alright, I gave you the book knowing that was in there…” he murmured quietly, turning back to the screen.

The air was suddenly heavy again, and your teeth dug into your lip harshly.

Good going, you went and made him uncomfortable.

To try and alleviate your embarrassment, you stood up and went to leave the room. As you turned away, a warm hand caught you by the wrist.

The warmth from his palm seemed to spread up your arm, and you had to resist the urge to melt into his touch.

“Don’t go. It’s not your fault” he looked up at you.

You hesitated, cheeks flushed with shame.

He tugged gently on your arm and you didn’t resist, falling back onto the couch, but this time pressed up against his side. If his hand was warm, then sitting next to him was like curling up beside a furnace. He smiled reassuringly and turned back to the movie.

“So, what’s the name of the actor that voices the Genie again?”

~

Steve’s POV

When she went to stand, Steve internally kicked himself. It wasn’t her fault that he had given her the book that just happened to have a drawing of Bucky in it, and it wasn’t fair to make her feel bad about it.

He reached out to stop her, grabbing her wrist. A reassuring warmth spread up his arm, followed by almost imperceptible tingles.

“Don’t go. It’s not your fault”

She hesitated, but let him pull her back into the couch, this time not so far apart.

 Somehow, she made the world seem less overwhelming. Ever since he came back, the world had thrown numerous challenges and new things at him. It was almost too much to keep up with. But with her around, for the first time since coming out of the ice, he felt calm. And, as selfish as it was, he didn’t want to lose that.

And if, by chance, he fell asleep on her shoulder before the credits, she never mentioned it again.

Chapter Text

It only took a few days for Tony to grow attached to the Avengers facility. It became his newest obsession, adding all the bells and whistles he could think of to the building.

By the end of the week, he had decided that the two of you were going to stay for a while. He never gave you a leaving date.

But you had nothing to complain about. Overall, the new facility was proving to be good for you and for your relationships with the Avengers. The newest recruits were still acclimatizing to the idea of being a part of ‘the team’, which kept you busy in itself.

But furthermore, Steve was taking up more and more of your time. And you loved it.

After that movie night a week previous, he had started talking to you on a more frequent basis. The subjects varied, from what his life was like before the war to all the current events that he had missed out on. And your evenings together became a regularly scheduled thing, through some unspoken agreement that they should continue to happen.

Being around him made you incredibly happy, even if he didn’t know what he meant to you. And you felt like instead of just keeping Tony sane, you had become a rock in Steve’s life that provided him with some reprieve from the turmoil being a genetically enhanced super soldier created.

So, you continued with the work you would have been doing at the Stark Tower, as a personal assistant, but made sure to leave some time free for once.

“Hey, kid”.

Tony’s voice jerked you out of your thoughts and, startled, you glanced over at him.

“You can get up now, we’re all finished”

You stood up off the table you had been sitting on, and glanced back at the scanning machine.

Tony, bless him, was still trying to find a way to remove the shock collar from your neck. He was always coming up with new possibilities and ideas to get it off without damaging your body further, but so far, he had had no luck.

Since the last incident when everyone had finally seen the reason behind your muteness, the collar had only self-activated once. But the longer between the incidents, the more they seemed to hurt you.

Wanda was the one who found you, laying on the floor in the kitchen, trembling in agony. It took almost an hour before you were calm enough to move to your room, and you promptly locked yourself away.

It wasn’t until there was a knocking on the door that you poked your head out, only to find Steve standing there.

“Tony told me what happened… I brought you tea. I saw you drinking some the other day, so…”

He shifted his weight, almost a little uncertain.

You forced a small smile and opened the door further. His eyes flickered down to the metal wrapped around your neck, lingering on the redness and scar tissue that peeked out from under the edge.

Normally a sweater hid the ugly raised scars that were caused by the electricity and surgery, but you had left it off and forgotten to slide it back on when he knocked.

Dropping your chin slightly and letting your hair fall to cover most of it, you took the tea from him and gestured a ‘thank you’.

“yeah… of course”. He nodded, but whether it was to reassure himself or you, you weren’t certain.

After hesitating only a moment, you invited him inside. Your apartment in the compound was smaller than all the others, but still featured a living room space with some couches and a television. The two of you sat down on the same couch, a foot apart, your fingers wrapped around the mug of tea in an attempt to chase away the chill that had seeped into your bones.

“Are you alright?”

You glanced over at Steve, who was looking back at you with a concerned expression.

Answering only with a nonchalant shrug, you sipped on the tea he had brought you.

He made it exactly how I like it… but I never told anyone how I make my tea… Must have been a lucky guess

A silence fell between you, which was normally comfortable, but this time it brought about a sense of unease.

“Tell me about Bucky again?”

Friday relayed your message and the corner of his mouth tugged up into a small smile.

“What do you want to know?”

And so he launched into their childhood, how they met, and how Bucky took over protecting a scrawny kid that liked to pick fights. He told you how Bucky got captured in the army, and how Steve disobeyed orders with the help of Peggy Carter and Howard Stark to save him.

By the time he got to the train, you had set down the tea. Steve was staring blankly ahead, silent.

He had told you the story of him and Bucky before, but never this part. He always stopped here, which you understood. But talking about him brought Steve peace, you could feel it just from his aura, so over and over again you listened to the incomplete tale of two unlikely friends.

“He compared it to Coney Island”

You glanced over at him, brow furrowed.

“We had to zip line. To catch up to the train that Zola was on. Gabe, Bucky and I zip lined onto the train to try and catch him.”

Steve hesitated, but you stayed silent. It was up to him how much he told you.

“We got through the first guys okay. But Bucky got stuck in a separate train car. I couldn’t get to him. By the time that I did, another soldier showed up. I tried… I tried to get to him, but the blaster the guy was carrying blew a hole in the side of the train.”

Steve glanced over at you. Without hesitation, you scooted over on the couch and put your hand over his, trying to comfort him.

“He fell before I could grab him.”

You squeezed his hand, feeling a swarm of sadness, despair and grief rolling off of him.

“I thought he was dead, until we met him on the bridge. Nat, Sam and I. Now… All I can think about is trying to help him. But he’s disappeared. We can’t find him anywhere”

He put his other hand over yours, and glanced over at you.

“I’m sorry, you don’t need to hear…”

You waved off his apology immediately, and grabbed the notebook that always lived on your coffee table.

‘I’m here to listen, Steve. I want to help you if I can. So please, if you ever want to talk, about anything, anytime, I’m here for you’

A small smile graced his face, and it made you smile too.

“I came here to check in on you, not to talk about me though”

You shrugged, bumping your shoulder against his playfully.

“With everything that Hydra did to my best friend… and to you… I won’t stop until we’ve taken them all down” he murmured.

‘Just don’t let it consume you, Cap. You’re a great man, and whatever happens, I want you to hang onto that’

Chapter Text

Even with the amount of people coming through the new facility, there were still days where you were left alone to your own devices. With Tony out at a business meeting, Steve out for a run and the others doing a ‘team bonding’ excursion at the request of Wanda, you busied yourself with cleaning.

Friday knew your routine by now. Dust the common area. Dishes. Laundry, whites first. After that, if you had time you’d vacuum. It kept your mind from wandering, which was a good thing. Once you got too deep into your own devices, it was hard to pull yourself out of that pit.

With music following you along the speakers in the compound, you hummed along and went about the tasks at hand. You listened to a lot of music, and often when you worked Friday would move the music from speaker to speaker along the building so you could listen while you moved around.

Until an all-too-familiar buzz made you drop the laundry across the floor.

An electric jolt rocketed through your body, sending you sprawling to the ground. The pain was unbearable, the worst you had felt in a long time. Convulsing, tears dripping down your face, you lay on the floor of the hallway. It felt like the pain went on forever, and black spots danced across your vision.

You could vaguely hear Friday calling out to you, but it hardly registered in your mind. Even after the immediate pain ceased, you had no control over the twitching of your fingers or the blood pouring from, your nose.

After a moment you tried to push yourself off the ground, but your arms were shaking far too hard and you had no strength to get up.

The compound was empty, you knew that, so god only knew how long it would be before someone was back to find you. It felt like an eternity that you lay there, gasping and crying in a pile on the floor, when quick footsteps cut through the haze.

Tony. Thank god. He knew what to do.

But when the figure knelt down and leaned over you, even blurry as your vision was, you knew it wasn’t Tony.

Steve.

His blue eyes were laced with concern as his hand slid behind your head, pulling you carefully into his lap.

“… -ou alright?”

His voice was muddy and it made your ears ring, but you managed a feeble but unconvincing nod. His fingers swept gently across your cheeks, wiping away your tears and then pushing your hair out of your face.

You shut your eyes, simultaneously lavishing in the tenderness of the gesture and feeling embarrassed for being in front of him in this state.

He was conversing with Friday, you could tell, but you didn’t try to understand what they were saying. It wasn’t long before you felt Steve stand, with you in his arms, and start walking. He was murmuring softly to you, cradling you gingerly to his chest and keeping you as still as possible while he walked.

Wherever he set you down, it was soft and warm, but he didn’t stay long. You once again felt embarrassment swell in your chest, bringing tears back to your eyes, when someone settled back down beside you once again.

A warm cloth wiped across your face, gently smoothing away the last of the blood and tears. When you opened your eyes, Steve was kneeling beside you, his brow furrowed. He gently helped you sit up and tipped a glass of water so you could drink.

A wave of exhaustion passed over you, and you shut your eyes again. His fingers gently stroked your hair, lulling you into a restless sleep.

~

It wasn’t until an hour later that you finally stirred.

Slowly, you curled your fingers, then toes, wincing at how sore everything felt. When you finally opened your eyes and glanced around, you realized exactly where you were.

If the giant bed hadn’t given it away immediately, you were laying in Steve’s room. Furthermore, Steve was watching you from an armchair a few meters away, book in hand.

“Hey… how are you feeling?” he asked quietly, standing and walking over to the bed.

You sat up slowly, testing out your muscles to see if they would hold. Despite their aching and quivering you managed to get into an upright position, and nodded uncertainly.

“Tony is on his way back… he’ll be worried” Steve murmured quietly.

You reached over and grabbed his hand, to thank him, and were rattled by the wave of intense worry that washed over you. He squeezed your hand gently and sat down on the bed beside you.

“Can I get you anything?”

You shook your head, taking a deep breath.

“Thank you” you mouthed to him, and he sighed.

“Don’t thank me… I wish I could have done more. I wish I had have been here…”

You shook your head again vigorously and squeezed his hand. He gave you a concerned look and handed you the glass of water again.

Much to your dismay, he slipped his hand out of yours and only stayed until Tony arrived.

~

You didn’t feel completely like yourself until two days later.

And maybe the shock did something to fry your brain, but you had decided that today was a good day to go for a run to the store alone.

Everyone was busy training when you decided to leave, so you informed Friday and headed for the garage. You grabbed the keys to Tony’s least expensive car and headed for town.

It was about a half an hour to the next large town, but you enjoyed the drive. It was a warm day, and with the windows rolled down, it felt nice to be out for a change. And it gave you time to think, specifically about Steve.

Maybe he liked you. You hoped so. But with the way he pulled his hand away from you… Maybe he didn’t. He probably just saw you as a friend. After all, he did have a soulmate that he was waiting for. Maybe Peggy was his soulmate and he simply hadn't told anyone.

Just the thought made you sad, so you turned up the music and tried to move on.

When you arrived in town, you parked some ways away from the store headed there on foot. Normally you would never do that, the exposure to people made you uneasy. But if you didn’t push yourself out of your comfort zone, it would never get any better, right?

By the time you were finished with the shopping, you were ready to head back to the quiet of the compound. Your patience with crying children and pushy adults was beginning to wear thin, and you knew better than to push yourself too far. So you paid for the bags of groceries and headed back down the street.

But something felt wrong.

Maybe some of the training from Hydra wasn’t as long gone as you hoped, as the hairs on the back of your neck stood up and a feeling of unease washed over you.

You were being watched.

Hurrying back to the car, you threw the bags into the trunk as quickly as possible. Your hands shook slightly, but now was not the time to hesitate. You were almost into the driver’s seat when a hand wrapped around your mouth and another around your waist.

The person pulled you back, into an alley that you had parked beside in a motion so fast it almost made you dizzy.

They were strong, despite flailing and kicking their grip never faltered. You tried to bite the attackers hand, but their hand was wrapped not only over your mouth but around your jaw.

“Shhh!”

You hesitated, as the man hissed into your ear. His grip was too strong anyway, you would be smarter to save your strength for a more opportune moment. But just then, two men walked past the alley, and you caught a glimpse of a gun tucked under one’s shirt. They were speaking quietly to each other and lingered by your car for a moment too long, before continuing down the road and looking around.

For you.

The figure didn’t let you go until they had passed, allowing you to whirl around and face them, ready for a fight. However nothing could have prepared you for the sight that met you when you turned around.

Standing in front of you, looking weary and disheveled, was James Buchanan Barnes.

“Why’s a girl like you being followed by people like that?”

Chapter Text

It was like your brain short-circuited.

Bucky. James Buchanan Barnes was your second soulmate. And even looking dishevelled as he did, he was just as handsome as Steve. He was wearing a dark sweater and coat, with a burgundy shirt underneath. His metal arm was covered by the sleeve and a glove, but it moved slightly differently when he adjusted his stance.

He looked weary, staring at you and waiting for an answer.

Right. He asked a question.

You opened your mouth to answer, to reply with one of the thousands of lines you had meticulously planned out in your head. However, reality smacked you in the face when no sound came out.

‘I can’t speak’ you mouthed, gesturing to your mouth and shaking your head.

“You... can’t talk”

You shook your head in confirmation. He tensed when you reached for your phone, so you raised your hands in a gesture of complacency and slowly pulled out your phone to open notes.

‘I can’t speak. My name is (Y/N)’

“You still didn’t answer my question. Why were those men following you?”

To tell him the truth, or to lie. That was the decision now. Should you confess that Hydra was after you because they created you? It might scare him away. But if it didn’t, it would make things much easier in the long run because you wouldn’t have to explain you lied.

Middle ground. A little lie.

‘I have powers, Hydra has been trying to catch me for the last few years’

“Powers? Like what.” He took a small step back, bracing himself.

‘I heal people’ you smiled to reassure him. ‘I wouldn’t hurt a fly. I help people, I don’t bring them pain.’

He kept a fair distance from you, observing every movement with intense scrutiny. “You.. heal people?”

You nodded, and took a second to look him over properly. 

‘And from what I can tell, you might need some of that. What happened?’

He pulled up his sleeve on his flesh arm, revealing a scrap of fabric that was soaked in blood.

“Those guys are after me too. One clipped me”

You nodded, biting your lip. The sight of him hurting and dirty made your chest ache. You wanted nothing more than to help him, to comfort him, but with this case it wouldn’t be so easy.

‘I can help, if you'll trust me.’ You offered, and he looked like he was considering for a moment, before extending his arm.

For once you thanked god for your appearance. You looked small and unimposing compared to him, which probably helped put him at ease. He figured he could beat you if it came down to it.

You reached out and gingerly tugged off the bandage. A bullet had torn through his flesh, leaving a deep gouge and angry red tissue behind. He obviously had the same advanced healing as Steve, based on the slow bleeding.

The wave of emotions that rolled off him almost knocked you off your feet. Fear, uncertainty, concern, suspicion. And under all that, a longing. For what, you didn’t try to feel, not wanting to push him when he didn’t know who you were or what you were capable of.

You let the soothing blue light seep from your fingers into his skin, sealing the wound and trying to subtly calm his mind. Your fingers barely brushed against his arm, but you could still tell he was trying not to flinch away.

“I’ll be damned”

You forced a small smile and retracted your hand, shuffling your feet. He looked you up and down, assessing what had just happened.

“Come on. There’s a safe place this way, until Hydra clears out”

He turned and started walking down the alley, and you rushed to catch up. The last thing you wanted was to loose him.

For your sake and Steve’s.

You walked quickly after him, analyzing him from behind. He wasn’t as tall as Steve, but even under his layers you could tell he was just as well built. He was rubbing his arm where he had been shot, head tilted down ever so slightly but never looking back at you.

It was only a short walk before he yanked open an old, grungy door and gestured for you to go in. Tucking your hands into your sleeves and keeping them close to your chest, you stepped into the dark room and tried to make out the surroundings.

It looked like an old apartment, but all one bedroom. A small wire frame bed lay in one corner, with a counter and cupboards on the opposite wall. The paint was peeling off the walls and one light hung from the ceiling, which Bucky flipped on when he stepped inside.

“It’s inconspicuous” he stated as he walked by you, shrugging off his coat and folding it haphazardly on the table which stood in the center of the room. You turned on the automatic voice on your phone that read what you typed.

‘How long do you think it’ll be before Hydra leaves?’

“A couple hours, just to be safe. That eager to get away from me?”

A vigorous shake of your head made him scoff, the corner of his mouth quirking up slightly.

“How did someone like you end up on Hydra’s wanted list? You don’t seem like the murder and maiming type”.

‘Neither do you’

He shook his head, hands clenching subtly at his sides.

“I definitely am”.

‘I find that hard to believe’.

He looked back at you over his shoulder, and the way you looked at him with a trusting, unfiltered gaze.

“You should believe it. I’ve hurt more people than I can count.”

‘Do you intend to hurt more people?’

“No!” he barked immediately, his posture tensing up.

‘Then I have nothing to worry about, do I? I would never hurt anyone, and you don’t want to hurt people anymore. Sounds like we’re both safe here’

Bucky shrugged and tugged off his glove, turning his back to you and shoving the glove into a bag laying on the table.

“If you knew who I was… what I’ve done…”

‘I do’

He whirled around, greeted by an awkward smile.

’James Buchanan Barnes, you served in World War Two with the Howling Commando’s’

He looked at you uncertainly, his dark hair flopping into his face. He braced himself almost as if he was ready to fight his way out of this basement.

‘I’m not here to hurt you, Bucky. I didn’t even know you were here until you pulled me away from Hydra’

“But how do you know who I am?”

‘Because… not everyone who is looking for you has the intent to hurt you. I’m a friend of Steve Rogers”

He frowned, his brow furrowing together. He eyed you critically, his piercing gaze almost made you squirm, but you tried to keep your cool.

‘And I think that you came here looking for him. Didn’t you?’

Why else would he have come so close to the Avengers Facility?

His eyes flickered to the floor, giving away that you were right. It made your heart swell to know that Bucky was thinking about going back to Steve on his own accord, not because Steve found him and forced him.

“I’ll just cause trouble” he murmured, his voice softer now and less harsh. “I don’t want to hurt Steve more than I already have”.

‘Trust me Bucky, you staying away is hurting him more than anything else could’.

“I don’t even know if he could possibly forgive me…”

‘He already has’

Bucky looked up at you, his gaze softening slightly.

“I want to see him… but… He’s always around people and the facility is so big…”

‘You’re scared’

He scoffed but judging by how he rubbed the back of his neck and shuffled his feet, you were right again.

‘Hey… what if I called him here? Just the two of you. Would that be okay?’

He looked uncertain but took a deep breath after a moment and seemed to steel his nerves.

“Alone, unarmed.”

‘Steve would never hurt you… but okay’

You nodded reassuringly, taking one more moment to look Bucky over. You ached to be the one to comfort him, to reach out and assure him that everything would be okay, but it wasn’t your place. He needed Steve, and you could see that plainly written across his face.

So with a slight tremor in your hands, you sent a text.

‘8995 Lilac Drive. Basement door. Come alone, unarmed. Everything is okay, promise. Trust me, please’.

Chapter Text

Steve P.O.V.

Y/N) had never texted Steve before.

So, when a strange message with an address and note to come unarmed interrupted his workout, he knew something was happening.

It took him about half an hour to make it to the designated place, his shield stowed carefully away in the trunk of the car he had taken from the compound. (Y/N) hadn’t given him any reason not to trust her yet, but it was still better safe than sorry if the situation turned dire.

The address led him to a back alley, with few qualities that seemed like somewhere anyone would be hanging about of their own accord. It struck him even less as somewhere (Y/N) would hang out, especially since she left the compound as little as possible.

The door to the address was old and nearly impossible to find, tucked beside a dumpster and next to unmarked, save for a worn set of numbers that distinguished it above on the brick of the building. There was only silence from inside, which was both unnerving and comforting. He suspected that if there was a problem, someone would be making noise, but if it was just you, silence was to be expected.

Hesitating before knocking, he pondered quickly what could be awaiting him on the other side of the door. Were you hurt? Did Hydra catch up to you and lure you here? There were a million possibilities to consider, but he pushed them aside and drew in a deep breath, steadying himself before knocking on the door.

Light footsteps alerted him of your approach. Her (Y/E/C) eyes peeked out between the door and the frame uncertainly, until you confirmed it was Steve on the other side. She appeared to be unhurt, but her expression was riddled with uncertainty.

“(Y/N)? What’s going on?”

She glanced back behind her, mouthing ‘one second’ before sliding out carefully and closing the door behind her. She looked unusually somber - despite what she had been through she was typically the one to greet with a smile on her face. She was worrying at her bottom lip, the skin paling where her teeth dug in sharply to her skin.

“(Y/N)?”

Her fingers flew over the keyboard of her phone, typing out a message. Steve’s brow furrowed, reaching out to put a hand on her shoulder. The sudden contact startled her, making her jump and look up at him uncertainly. When they had first met, she flinched away from any contact, but over the last week she had seemed to become more comfortable around him. This was a significant step backwards, making him realize just how serious the situation might be to have her so high strung.

Look, I need you to stay calm, okay? Just... don’t overwhelm him.

“Overwhelm who?” Steve’s brow furrowed in confusion. What was she talking about?

She hesitated briefly when her hand wrapped back around the doorknob, but opened it and stepped aside to let him in.

He stepped inside cautiously, eyes adjusting to the darkness of the room. It was small and dank, the smell of wet wood and moulding earth flooding his senses. It took him a second make out a figure with its back to him in the far corner of the room, but he recognized the build instantly.

For a second, he could have sworn the earth stopped turning.

His next inhale was shaky and desperate, as if all the air had left the room.

“... Bucky?”

The figure shuddered almost imperceptibly, turning after a moment delay to face him.

He looked so different, yet very much the same as the last time Steve had seen him. His posture was weary, but his build was so similar to how it had been during the war. The burgundy Henley covered most of the metal arm that had stunned Steve when they first fought on the bridge, but his clothes were dusty and obviously hadn’t been washed in some time. His hair fell messily into his face to cover the gaunt cheekbones and unkept stubble that framed his face.

“Steve” he murmured, his voice cracking almost unnoticeably.

“Do... you know who I am?” he asked softly. Steve found himself almost not wanting to know the answer, for fear that he might be disappointed with the result.

An almost imperceptible nod forced the air from his lungs in a relieved exhale.

“Buck...” he took a step closer but froze when the dark-haired man tensed up. “Bucky... I’m not going to hurt you... if you remember who I am, then you know that...”

He was answered by a shuddering breath that made the hairs falling in Bucky’s face tremble.

Steve held his hands out to the sides, palms facing Bucky, so he could plainly see that there were no weapons.

“I would /never/ hurt you”

Still, Bucky looked uncertain as Steve approached. His eyes flickered between Steve and the floor, hands clenching and relaxing in an obvious internal struggle.

By the time Steve reached the far side of the room, he could completely make out the trembling form of his soulmate. Seeing Bucky like this was almost more heartbreaking than the moment on the bridge - afraid to even be seen let alone touched for fear that he could hurt someone. Bucky’s right hand reached up to the nape of his neck, making him look ashamed and nervous.

Reaching out slowly, Steve left a few inches between Bucky and his outstretched hand. The last thing he wanted to do was scare his soulmate away when he had just gotten him back.

“I... don’t want to hurt you...” Bucky muttered, gaze downcast at the floor.

“I trust you” Steve murmured reassuringly, unfaltering in his belief that his partner was still the same man he knew years ago.

Bucky looked over at him, his gaze weary and tired.

“Let me take you somewhere safe Buck... where we can talk” he coaxed gently.

A tentative nod of affirmation made him smile despite himself. Bucky’s flesh hand, chilled and cautious, reached out to brush along the side of Steve’s wrist briefly before pulling away.

“The Avengers facility should be empty today, right (Y/N)?” Steve asked, turning to face her.

To his surprise, she had silently disappeared sometime during their conversation. He hadn’t even heard the protest of the old floor under her weight, or the sound of the door opening behind him.

He led Bucky out of the room, glancing around in search of the (Y/H/C) girl. He was met by an unnerving sight - her small form crumpled outside the room and trembling horribly.

“(Y/N)?” He crouched down beside her immediately. She waved him off and, with a slight stumble, pushed herself to her feet.

Her hands tugged at the neckline of her sweatshirt, giving away what had happened. Before he could really be sure that she was alright, she was already making her way down the alley and to the parked cars that would take them back to the compound.

Steve turned back to Bucky and offered him his hand, which the shadowy man accepted. They walked after her, hand in hand, back to the Stark vehicle that Steve had borrowed to make his way here.

Bucky slid into the passenger seat, eyes following Steve around the car mirror to mirror until he was seated beside him again. The silence wasn’t uncomfortable, but it still made Steve squirm a little in his seat. Once, we and Bucky had never faltered in conversation, but now, it seemed that silence would be all that greeted him unless he was the one to break the ice.

“How did (Y/N) find you?” He questioned, glancing over at his friend as he started the car.

“More like I found her...” Bucky murmured. “She was being trailed by HYDRA...”

“HYDRA? Here? So close to the facility?”

“If they’re looking for her as well as me... we’re both in the area. Someone must have figured that out” his gaze was down on his lap.

“The facility is secure, Buck. Don’t worry. We’ll keep you safe.”

Steve watched dark hair fall into Bucky’s eyes as he glanced up at the other Stark car ahead of them.

“They shot me. About a day ago. She healed me”.

Steve nodded. “She has some powers... she might be able to help you even more... I think. But I need to talk to her first.”

Bucky nodded absently, brow furrowed just slightly as he gazed ahead. Steve fought to keep his gaze on the road rather than on his soulmate - a task that was proving more difficult than he could have imagined.

~~

By the time they reached the Avengers compound, the shaking in (Y/N’s) hands was just beginning to cease.

The combination of a particularly bad shock (which you had just managed to sneak outside in time for, the last thing you wanted was to frighten an already unnerved Winter Soldier) and finding out that Bucky was your second soulmate had her mind reeling.

The turmoil that you had felt coming off him in waves had also thrown you off. It wasn’t until (Y/N) tasted the metallic tang of your blood in your mouth that you realized you were chewing so violently on your inner lip it had drawn blood.

You were certain that you could clear out a section of the facility for them – in fact you had already enlisted the help of Friday in the matter. When the second Stark car pulled up behind yours, you already had a note scribbled out to show Steve.

Holding out the note, it was still obvious that your hands were trembling. You could see unspoken questions written all over both super soldier’s faces, but neither one spoke.

The east wing should be completely empty. Tony isn’t due back for two days, and I can clear the facility out tomorrow completely. I’ll be around but I’ll stay out of your guys’ way.

By the time Steve looked up, you were already making a direct beeline to the door, meters ahead. Your arms wrapped around yourself, you pushed inside, ignoring the call of your name behind you. Knowing all the best shortcuts it only took you seconds to make yourself scarce in the front hall. One turn to the left. Two to the right. Down the hall. Through the kitchen. Up the back stairs.

The door to your room was only a few steps away from the top of the stairs.

Steps away, you stumbled and barely managed to catch yourself against the door without slamming your face into it.

The familiar feeling of your chest constricting and tears building in your eyes made you fumble with the doorknob. Short of breath and mind was racing, you steeled yourself and managed to get the door open and inside before sliding down and breaking into quiet sobs.

The last few weeks had been too much, and too little at the same time, you thought. Being so close to Steve was a blessing and a curse. But with the impromptu run in with Hydra followed by your second soulmate, your mind was reeling. The compound felt too big, too vulnerable, but being any closer to Steve and Bucky would have been torture.

Curled up at the base of the door, the weight of the day came crashing down all at once.

This was why you never ventured outside anymore. Hydra was too close. They came too close. If it wasn’t for Bucky pulling you back into that alley, there was a very good chance that they would have caught you then and there.

The thought alone made you want to heave.

It was hours before you mustered the strength to move from your spot on the ground.

And even then, the only reason for moving was to go get a cup of tea. It would do little to calm your nerves, but it was a small luxury that Tony had always made sure you would allow yourself.

Small things like that were very significant to you.

Hydra had never allowed small pleasures. Tea and coffee were luxuries that you hadn’t tasted since childhood.

But when you reached the kitchen, it seemed someone else had beaten you there.

Steve, who was facing away from you, was already pouring two, no, three cups of tea when you stepped lightly into the kitchen.

Breaching the doorway brought Bucky into view, sitting at the kitchen table in a fresh shirt, presumably Steve’s, his eyes focusing immediately on you.

There must have been a quiet conversation going on, because once Bucky fell silent, Steve turned to look behind him.

“(Y/N), perfect timing” he smiled softly at her. “I made you tea, I thought you might like it, after…”

He trailed off, eyes flickering over your face. It must have been obvious that you had been crying, so you looked down at the floor and shied back.

The blond super soldier walked over, steaming mug in his hands.

“(Y/N)…”

Taking a deep breath, you forced yourself to smile when you looked back up.

Tapping your chin and dropping your hand, you signed your thanks and made to leave, but a warm hand on your wrist stopped you.

For a split second, you had to resist the urge to throw the tea mug back at him.

Fight or flight.

“Stay, please? After everything that happened, I shouldn’t have left you alone…”

He sounded concerned, and when you met his gaze, his eyes showed the same emotion.

For a moment you hesitated. Being alone actually sounded inviting right now. But the blue eyes facing you begged you otherwise.

A glance at the corner of the room confirmed that Bucky’s intoxicating gaze was on you too.

So, against your better judgement, you nodded.

Chapter Text

With a warm mug of tea clasped between your hands, you found yourself sitting at in the kitchen with Steve and Bucky. Your sweater sleeves acted as a buffer to the heat but did little to prevent you from fidgeting in your seat uncertainly.

“I didn’t… hurt you, did I? When I pulled you back into the alley?” Bucky asked softly, looking almost as uncertain as you must have. He was drumming his fingers on the table, but his gaze was steady when it landed on you.

Shaking your head seemed to relieve some of the tension in his posture.

“And Hydra didn’t get their hands on you?” Steve asked, from his spot leaning against the island.

You shook your head again, staring down at the steaming mug in your hands.

“Good” he murmured, reaching over to rub your shoulder. You flinched away instinctively, noting the disappointed look that crossed Steve’s face.

Over the past weeks, you had become somewhat accustom to him touching you. Never on bare skin, but the arm of your sweater or small of your back hadn’t made you flinch away since before Sokovia. The step back seemed to have startled him. But with how close Hydra had come to finding not only you, but his soulmate as well? It had you feeling more than a little on edge. 

“(Y/N)… he murmured worriedly, brow furrowing as he drew his hand back. You tried to brush it off, drawing in a deep breath and turning your attention back to the assassin on the other side of the table.

The former Winter Soldier had cleaned up since you arrived at the compound. The fresh clothes and clean complexion suited him well, made him seem less like a shadow and more like a corporeal being again. His hair still fell in his face, a security blanket of sorts you assumed, but a shower had cleaned up his complexion significantly. He still looked weary, but the on edge look would likely linger for months.

When you glanced back at him, he seemed to be surprised by your reaction.

Reaching into your back pocket, you pulled out your phone to type a note.

I didn’t want to worry you when we were first talking, but… My relations with Hydra sadly went far deeper than them chasing me for my powers. I guess that never really fades away after all.

“What do you mean, your relations went deeper with Hydra than that?” he questioned, an edge creeping back into his voice.

“She was like you, Buck” Steve murmured, pulling up a chair beside the assassin. “Hydra experimented on her and forced her to obey them.”

You pulled down the neck of your sweater to reveal the shock collar.

Both Bucky and Steve inhaled, sitting up straighter. Bucky, presumably at the sight of the scars and branding that you would never be rid of. Steve, at the redness creeping up from the collar after the last shock, and the scratch marks that etched themselves over the Hydra logo. A desperate attempt to detach yourself from the people that did this to you.

“It’s a shock collar. If she didn’t obey…” Steve trailed off, and Bucky nodded in understanding.

I want to help you, Bucky. Coming out of Hydra isn’t easy, but I think that I might be able to make things more bearable for you, if you let me. I know you don’t want to hurt people, but I also understand that your memory is spotty and there are things that could be triggering for you.

Bucky looked between you and Steve, fingers drumming on his mug.

“She really could, Buck, if you let her. Her powers… they make a difference”

“I saw what they did back in the alley but…”

“They help more than that” Steve placed his hand down, instinctively reaching for Bucky’s hand but stopping himself. “If you let her. She… helped me too. When everything was too much… It made a big difference”.

You tried to smile reassuringly at Bucky, but you knew how he was feeling all too well and it made your expression seem… thin.

Steve, if… Bucky is okay with it, could I talk to him alone for a minute or two?

You showed the message to both men, noting Bucky’s uncertain gaze on you.

“Yeah… Yeah I think that’d be okay…”

Steve nodded and stood up, making his way over to the door.

“I’ll be just outside, okay? It’s (Y/N), she wouldn’t hurt a fly” Steve assured his partner, before leaving the room as you had requested.

Did Steve introduce you to Friday yet?

“Yeah?” he frowned at the sudden change of topic.

I can talk to you with sign language through Friday, like this, or on paper. What would be easier for you?

He stared at the phone for a moment. A choice. Something so simple could feel so big after having no say in anything for so many years. It had been the same when Tony had first started to let you choose things. What to eat, what to wear, it was all overwhelming for a very long time.

“Maybe… paper?” his voice sounded small and unsure. It didn’t suit the broad-shouldered man sitting across from you, but you could relate.  

You stood up and nodded, digging around for a moment to find some scraps and something to write with. The “I <3 NY” pen seemed ill fitting for the situation, but with some shaking to get the ink going it would do in a pinch.

Steve prefers this too.

Bucky scoffed a little. “Doesn’t surprise me”. His tone was almost nostalgic, but the frown that tugged at the corners of his mouth seemed to contradict the emotion.

I just wanted to talk to you for a minute. I don’t want you to feel pressured into anything here. I know that Steve just wants to help you, but sometimes you must be ready for that help. There is some stuff I can do, but if for now you want to just get comfortable with Steve, I understand. There’s no rush at all.

His icy blue eyes flickered over the paper as you wrote, brow furrowing in the center almost unnoticably. When you turned the paper to him, he seemed to read it several times before glancing back up at you.

“Why are you doing all this?” He sounded less suspicious and more inquisitive than the first time the two of you had met.

Because I was sitting in your shoes once. And Tony, he tried to help me. He really did. But there are things that I’ll probably never recover from. You, on the other hand, had a life before Hydra. You had Steve. And with him back too, I don’t want you to lose out on any more life because of what they did.

“You… say that like you’re a lost cause?” Bucky murmured, once he had scanned the page. He seemed confused, looking like he still couldn’t see the bad in you. Of all people, he should be the one that knew what you would be capable of.

Maybe I am. Maybe I’m not. But I found my peace helping this team. I just want to help you find yours.

He looked down at the paper, but his gaze dropped down to his left hand. His fingers twitched minutely, almost indiscernible if not for the quiet whirr that gave them away in the otherwise silent kitchen.

“I don’t think… After everything I did…” he turned his hand over, staring intently at the metal plates what adjusted as he moved.” After everything they did to me… I can ever find peace…”

The arm doesn’t make you who you are. Just like I can’t let this collar define me.

His gaze locked on you, but you were looking away, worrying at your lower lip. He looked down too, fingers clenching. The shifting of the metal plates was mesmerizing, something in you ached to reach out and feel them for yourself, but that could come later when he was hopefully more comfortable.

“I’m a monster”

Your head snapped up. It was a thought you had all too often. But god be damned if you were gonna let Bucky of all people think the same.

Moving almost on autopilot, you turned around so your back faced him. There was no other way you could think to jar him out of his idea that he was doomed to suffer for what someone else had done to him.

Without giving yourself time to think about potential consequences, you lifted the back hem of your sweater up, exposing your back to the solider behind you.

The sharp inhale made it obvious he had looked up.

Looked up to see the scars that covered your skin so thoroughly it was almost mangled beyond repair. The raised knife wounds, gunshots, burn marks and lashings stood out blatantly against your (Y/S/C) skin, but not enough to cover your ribs and spine, which stuck out even when you stood perfectly straight.

The serum that both Bucky and Steve had been given had enhanced their healing abilities, but unfortunately, your healing powers extended only to other people. Because of that, every mark, every beating you had received at the hands of Hydra was etched into your skin.

The sight was appalling, that you were sure of. But to let Bucky think he was the only monster Hydra created made you feel sicker to your stomach than showing him your scars ever could.

If you hadn’t been holding your breath, you weren’t sure you would have heard him stand up or take an uncertain step closer.

The air barely dared to stir when he moved. You drew in a breath, curling in tighter on yourself.

I can’t let him see I’m ashamed. You thought desperately, trembling a little. If I’m ashamed, then he’ll think he needs to be.

Digging your nails into your palms, you forced yourself to stand perfectly still under his scrutiny. A featherlight, warm brush on your side made you jump and inhale sharply. But the light pressure didn’t draw back, tracing one of the many scars from your ribcage down to the small of your back.

“Aw, doll…” his voice hardly broke the silence, barely passed his own lips let alone reached your ears.

A few seconds passed before you felt his hand leave your back, and you stood up fully. Letting the sweatshirt fall back down, you turned to face the man you had just bared one of your biggest secrets to.

Barely coming up to his shoulders, you had to tilt your head back to see him.

Vulnerable. Neck exposed. A sharp voice chided you in your head, but you forced yourself to ignore it, meeting his steely gaze with your own (Y/E/C) eyes.

He looked sad and sympathetic, even as you brushed past him to go back to the pen and paper. Your writing was less elegant, shakier, when you passed a note back to him again.

If you’re a monster, Bucky, then I’m the devil. I never knew a life outside Hydra, not until Tony found me. And I’ll be damned if I let them take your whole life away from you, too. I’m not gonna lie to you and tell you it’ll be easy. You’ll have bad days. Two steps forward and ten steps back. But if you really want this, if you can put your head down and bear through it, then someday you’ll look back and it’ll all be easier. Not gone, but easier.

Your sudden certainty, determination, seemed to startle him.

“Does… anyone else know?”

Tony.

“But Steve?....”

Has no idea. This is between you and I.

He tilted his head a little. You hoped that showing some of your own weaknesses, your own flaws would give him the courage he needed to trust you.

Without uttering another word, Bucky turned around and walked (no, glided – he hardly made a sound) to the door. Steve, who had been leaning against the frame outside, jerked upright.

“Buck?”

“If (Y/N) thinks it’ll help, then let’s try”

“Are you… are you sure?” Steve looked back at you, bewildered.

“Yes” he nodded, obviously sure of his decision, turning his head just slightly to give you a minute grateful nod.

Your gamble had paid off, thank god. Your shoulders relaxed, and a small smile pulled at your lips.

We can start whenever you feel ready.

Bucky nodded and headed back towards the table. “I guess now is as good a time as any”.

You followed him back, sitting in the chair beside him.

I did this with Steve once, if you want to know what it’s like.

The dark haired super soldier looked over at his soulmate quizzically.

“It’s hard to describe” he admitted, crossing his arms. “But it’s like taking every intense emotion and dialing it back by 50. Not eliminating them, but… making them more manageable?”

His description was similar to Tony’s – sorting out intense emotions.

“I’m assuming you need to have physical contact?”

You nodded, shaking your sweater sleeves out of your palms.

Bucky settled himself into his seat and put his gaze on you.

“Whenever you’re ready”.

Slowly, giving him ample time to change his mind, you reached over and placed your hand on his right arm. Just as it had been before, the wave of emotion that came off him was intense and startled you even though you were expecting it.

Blue light ebbed through your fingers and into his skin, pleasantly warm. You heard him make a small sound, but it seemed far away. Putting all your effort into this, you focused entirely on the job at hand and shut your eyes.

Worry. Fear. Uncertainty. Anger. But also that same sense of longing.

It was hard to tell how long you sat there, motionless. It wasn’t until you could feel your body trembling with exertion that you opened your eyes, blinking slowly. Bucky had his eyes closed, his left arm limp by his other side. His chin was against his chest, and if you hadn’t noticed that he was trembling slightly too, you would have guessed he was asleep.

Much to your surprise, the clock read that it had been well over an hour.

“Buck?...”

Steve’s voice startled both of you, breaking the moment of peaceful silence.

He lifted his head, blinking slowly. His gaze was much the same, intense and focused, but his expression read as much less on edge.

“It’s… I…”

You reached over to gently touch his hand.

“You don’t have to explain” Steve assured.

Bucky turned to you, taking only a brief second to look at your hands.

“Thank you”.

Chapter Text

L’appel du vide

    French

The instinctive urge to jump from high places.

You never even made it back to your room.

The exhaustion from what you had done for Bucky had been too much strain on the body.

When you woke up in the elevator with a violent start, it was hardly a surprise. It had been a normal occurrence at the Stark tower for you to work yourself to exhaustion and pass out wherever it was convenient.

Friday, what time is it?

“It is 11:34 pm Miss (Y/N)”

Thank you, Friday.

You reached over and pressed the button for the rooftop, staying seated on the floor until the soft ding signaled your destination had been reached.

Your footsteps hardly made a sound on the roof, as you strolled to the edge of the compound.

The wind was bitter and cut through the black hoodie like it was thinner than paper, but it hardly phased you. This wasn’t cold. Cold was being thrown into arctic temperature water and held there until your lungs burned and chest felt like it would explode. Cold was training in Siberian winters with no more than a torn up medical gown to protect from the snow.

The view was different than it had been from the Stark tower but brought you no less peace. The night was still, and unlike in the city, you could see the stars and moon illuminating the tops of the trees that stretched on for miles each way.

It was easier to forget everything you had been through out here.

A touch of music cut through the quiet and made the corner of your mouth quirk up slightly. Legs dangling over the edge of the building as you sat down, you closed your eyes and let the wind swirl around you.

When Tony had first let you out into the Stark tower, the roof had been your favorite place to be. Hard to be snuck up on when there was only one way up or down.

But it started to create an ache in your chest, when you watched the cars and people pass by below you. Each leading their own normal life, something that you never knew. Never would know.

A week later, you owed your life to Tony twice over.

He never judged you for what you had done, or stopped you from going back to the roof, but he started to be less weary when he really understood how much you truly loathed yourself.

But here, the world was quiet. Music had become something of a hiding place for you, it kept your mind busy and didn’t let you dwell on other thoughts. But after the week you had, and everything that had been stirred up while helping Bucky earlier, your mind started to wander.

Your father had been a brilliant scientist, once upon a time. But when he was recruited by Hydra, that genius was quickly twisted and used to create monsters. The time you spent with Hydra had erased what few memories you had, especially since your mother had died when you were less than six years old.

But the image of her smile never left you.

Vague recollections of fights and yelling flickered through your broken mind from time to time, but a twisting in your gut made you think that she never wanted you to see that.

Despite how much you wished for it to be the only memory you HAD forgotten, the night she died in a car crash was branded in your mind. The realization that something must be wrong, when it started getting dark out and she still wasn’t home. The slamming of the door when your father got home, the thundering footsteps crashing up the stairs. The way he yelled, so venomously at a child that didn’t truly understand what was happening.

“Friday told me you were up here”.

The voice jarred you out of the memory. You hadn’t even realized that you had been crying, and quickly wiped your face before turning around.

Steve. He had his hands shoved in his jean pockets, his posture slouching slightly in what you assumed was an attempt to make himself look less imposing.

“Sorry, I didn’t want to bother you, but…”

You shot him a small smile and patted the edge of the roof beside you.

He graciously returned the smile and walked over, seating himself a respectable distance from you.

“I wanted to thank you” he admitted quietly, looking ahead at the tops of the trees. “For what you did, for Bucky… And indirectly, for me”.

You dug a pencil and scrap of paper out of your back pocket.

You should know by now that I always want to help, however I can.

He read the note over, and looked back ahead. He let out a deep exhale and shook his head slightly.

“I know that… But I don’t understand it” he admitted, looking back to you.

You quirked your head, not understanding the exact meaning of what he was asking.

“Tony… he won’t tell anyone exactly what happened to you. He said that was your story to tell. But we all know that it was bad. Without question” he ran his fingers through his hair, leaving you breathless over the moonlit silhouette sitting beside you.

“He did say that you were young, when this all started. No more than six”.

You nodded, gaze flickering down to your lap.

“You were faced with all this evil, all these horrible things, when you were just a kid” his voice faltered slightly, like he couldn’t stomach the idea. “For god knows how many years. And here you are, the sweetest gal I think I’ve ever met. You’d bend over backwards to help others, and you don’t ask for anything in return. You never expect favors, ask for anything, you just… are.”

Have you ever thought that it’s my way for paying for what I’ve done?

“It’s still beyond me how someone that’s endured what you have can be so gentle” he chuckled, but it wasn’t laced with humor at all. It was heavy, like anger, that you knew wasn’t directed at you.

Because I’ve never lived.

Steve looked confused, his brow furrowing.

I’ve never been treated with anything but anger and malice. I’ve never been to a zoo, or an amusement park. I never had my first kiss. I never learned how to ride a bike or got to go to school. All I ever knew was laboratories and blood and pain. So, when Tony saved me, it was hard to accept that this would be different. Every time he moved too fast, I would flinch away and hide. But when I realized that for the first time in my life, I didn’t HAVE to be hard and cold, I loved it. It was the first time that I didn’t HAVE to be afraid that anything I ate was drugged, or that any hand that touched me was going to inflict pain. I still have hard days, where I slip back into what life. Just like Bucky does. But for me, it’s mostly when I’m faced with violence, which is why I stay out of the field.

Steve’s face was an echo of the sadness that you felt burning in your chest. When your pencil hesitated on the paper, he reached out to gently still your hand.

“You don’t have to keep writing” he assured softly. “I think I get it now”.

You forced a small smile and gave his hand a gentle squeeze.

“I know what happened with Hydra scared you, but… I wouldn’t hurt a dame like you. I thought you knew that, until you flinched away when I tried to touch your shoulder in the kitchen…”

I’m sor-

He stopped you when he knew what you were writing.

“You have nothing to apologize for. I just want you to know that you’re always going to be safe with me”.

You reached over and touched his arm gently, and you knew from his expression that you didn’t have to write ‘I know’.

“It’s cold out here. Come inside?” he suggested.

If you declined, you knew he would be worried, and you could tell by how warm his skin was to the touch that you were freezing. So you allowed him to lead you back to the elevator, casting one last glance back out at the stars before the doors closed.

He pressed a button for the main floor.

“I thought, if you were up for it, maybe Bucky could join us for our movie night?”

He was asking you if it was okay. You realized, in that moment, what exactly he meant by ‘no one ever does anything for you’. It warmed your chest to know that, even if he didn’t know exactly how much he meant to you, that he still did care.

You nodded, casting him a grateful smile.

“Bucky used to love Disney… Can you think of any movies that might be okay for him?”

It made you pause for a moment, going through the laundry list of animated films that wouldn’t give the ex-assassin cause to stress.

You two get settled. I’m gonna grab a few things.

“Alright then” Steve grinned a little at how enthusiastic you looked.

Bounding upstairs with purpose, you grabbed a mountain of pillows, blankets, and a DVD copy of Tangled. You also made a stop in the kitchen to make mass amounts of popcorn for the two super soldiers to eat.

Balancing everything precariously, you headed back for the living room. By the time you got downstairs, two sets of broad shoulders were visible on the couch, talking quietly between themselves.

You made a conscious effort to make your presence known as you entered the room, so as to not startle anyone. When you made it to the couch, you dumped the softest blanket and pillow on Bucky’s lap. Steve was next, getting his own plush blanket and pillow.

Handing them one of the bowls of popcorn, you plugged in the movie, noting out of the corner of your eye that Steve had left your usual seat beside him open As much as you would have loved to take it up, you knew that they needed the space.

Throughout the movie, you had to restrain yourself from looking over whenever you heard a soft snort or chuckle.

By the time the credits rolled, both bowls had been emptied of popcorn and were laying on the table. Friday had dimmed the lights for you, leaving the room dark and quiet.

But what made everything worth while was when you finally looked back at the two men on the couch and realized that they had fallen asleep on each other’s shoulders.

The comfort of a soulmate was unlike anything else, that much you had read over and over. You had hoped that the movie would allow them to let their guards down and accept that, but you couldn’t have expected it to work this well.

Carefully, you stood and tried to slip from the room soundlessly, but much to your chagrin, the remote fell from your chair with a loud bang.

Bucky was on his feet in the blink of an eye, leaving Steve floundering and confused.

The look on his face was dark and wild, his hair falling wildly in front of his eyes.

Which were staring intently at you.

The look was all too familiar, the dark intensity, absolute focus.

On a target.

Sure enough, in two strides he was over the coffee table and far, far too close.

“Bucky?!” you barely recognized Steve leaping to his feet, too focused on the figure lunging at you.

Whether some part of your mind knew that moving would only make it worse, or if you were simply frozen with fear, you couldn’t process. But before you knew it, you were being pushed backwards and slammed with force into the wall.

His hands were on each of your shoulders, pinning you back firmly. You could feel yourself shutting down, ready to simply curl up and take the beating, but you steeled your nerves and met his intense gaze with your own terrified one.

The fear in your eyes must have made him pause, because just as he was drawing his metal arm back to drive into your face, he froze.

The look in his eyes was still wild and fierce, but he seemed frozen in place.

“цель?”

You shook your head ever so slightly, and with a violently shaking hand, you reached up to touch his cheek.

The blue light crept slower than usual down your arm and into his skin, until you could see the dark expression softening.

The grip on your shoulders released, and you dropped to the floor like a stone.

The world had gone dark before you even met the ground.

Chapter Text

Hushed whispering and the rustle of fabric cut through the blissful darkness.

Not even risking to look, you scrambled backwards and away from whoever was nearby.

Cowering into whatever surface was pressing into your back, you curled in on yourself and buried your face in your knees. With your arms wrapped around your legs and face tucked away, it was more obvious how hard you were shaking.

Where-

Desperation cut through the haze as you tried to calm down, to process what the voices that were swimming in your head were trying to say.

A clinical room. Hands on your shoulders, pinning you down. The sensation of being a stranger in your own body. Someone yelling, stringing together sentences you couldn’t understand. A burning pain in your torso, arms, legs. Inescapable.

It took a moment to process your lungs were burning.

Gasping for air like you were suffocating, your fingers dug into your legs and you crumpled further inwards.

A movie, popcorn. A wall. Hands around your shoulders. The lingering image of the two soulmates curled on the couch. Wild, dark eyes. A remote falling and echoing on the floor.

But these sheets were soft, not paper. And the voice, something about it… Tender? No, it couldn’t be. They would never care.

Waking up, cold sweat, a mysterious IV hanging from your arm. Trying to turn over, only to cry out in pain when stitches across your abdomen pulled painfully. A doctor poking at you, speaking in German, Something about a successful surgery. Surgery for what?

But there wasn’t any pain.

Just the haze, choking the air from your lungs and leaving you a quivering mess.

But there was that voice, something about it soothing the frayed edges of your mind.

Keeping your head carefully bowed, you released your trembling hands. Pointer finger to thumb. Middle finger to thumb. Ring finger. Pinky. A careful, motor function testing movement that was simple to execute but enough to ground you.

The next breath you took was blissfully full, though it still quivered.

The Avengers Compound.

Not a Hydra facility.

You ran your fingers through your hair, legs slowly sliding down until they lay partly bent, rather than covering you up.

Another deep breath, counting the seconds.

When you opened your eyes, it was Steve looking back at you.

He was crouched beside the bed you were seated on, a respectable distance away, but still close enough to read the pure concern in his eyes.

And Bucky, leaning against the wall near the door, dark hair sweeping into his face and alarmingly motionless.

When you wiped your face there were no tears, only a sheen of sweat covering your forehead.

“(Y/N)…”

‘I’m sorry’ you signed, hands still trembling.

“You’re sorry?” Bucky’s voice was hoarse. “I could have killed you.”

 ‘Because I made the stupid mistake of dropping that remote. This is all on me.’

Steve sat gingerly on the edge of the bed; his expression etched with concern.

“It was no one’s fault, okay? You’re both alright, that’s what matters…”

But between the self-hatred rolling off Bucky in the corner, and the lingering panic still coming off you in waves, you were both far from alright. None the less, Steve reached over to hand you a glass of water, which you drank eagerly.

“Do you want to talk about whatever had you scared so bad?”

You shook your head more furiously than you intended, knees pulling back towards your chest. Even Tony knew little about what you did and didn’t remember from your time with Hydra.

While you could talk the talk about sharing burdens and being there to help others, it was something you struggled to practice yourself. Many of the memories that haunted you at night were so gruesome that you found yourself waking up and rushing to the bathroom to be sick. If you shared them with other people… it would be like Hydra all over again. Frightened people not risking looking you in the eye, and whispers of all the things you had done haunting your every step.

Steve murmured your name again in that personal tone that sent a shiver down your spine.

Signing another shaky I’m sorry, you scrambled off the bed, almost falling in your haste to get away from the situation.

But much to your surprise, it wasn’t Steve that stepped in front of the door.

Just as you reached for the handle, blissful solitude on the other side, your vision was blocked by dark fabric. When you looked up, the intense stare you found made you look down immediately.

“You shouldn’t be alone” he muttered softly, assessing you with that focused stare.

‘I’ve been alone for most of my life’

With that, you elbowed your way past the assassin and slipped out the door.

~~

‘Tony, before you say anything, I just need you to listen.’

Your boss had arrived back to the compound earlier than expected, only a few hours after you had left Bucky and Steve. Mind still reeling, you were struggling to find the best way to explain the situation without eliciting an unwanted reaction.

Bringing Bucky here had been a huge risk, but if Steve trusted him, and you did as well, you hoped that the understanding Tony had extended to you two years ago.

‘I… Had to make a tough choice earlier. Rock and a hard place. You know how that feels, right?’

“Of course I do Ace” he frowned at you, setting down the bottle of Scotch he had been pouring from. “Is everything alright? What happened?”

‘I was almost spotted by Hydra’

“I’m sorry, I don’t think I heard you quite right… you what?!”

‘I was out getting groceries, and I was being followed. I was going to hop back into the car and tear off, but because I was rattled they were closer than I realized’ you tried to explain as best you could, hopping up onto the counter and crossing your legs at the ankles.

Tony had set his drink down now, facing you.

“Did they see you? How did they know where you would be?”

‘They didn’t see me, because I was pulled backwards into an alley. It saved my life’

“Pulled back into an alley by who? I thought all the local knights-in-shining-armour lived here.”

After a second of hesitating and a deep breath, you realized you couldn’t drag this story on forever.

‘James Barnes’

Tony did a double take, giving you his best what-the-fuck-did-you-just-say face.

“Did you just say…”

You nodded shyly, grabbing your own glass of scotch from the counter beside you and drinking it all at once.

“A wanted assassin pulled you back into an alley to save you from Hydra” he repeated, obviously trying to grasp what you were implying.

‘He was hiding from them too. He saw them tailing me and pulled me into the alley because he thought I was an innocent’

Tony let out a heavy breath, pacing back and forth on the tile. One arm crossed over his chest and his head leaning on the other, you could have mistakenly guessed he was simply solving another suit malfunction.

“He… why was he even here?”

’Because he was looking for Steve’

“Steve said that he didn’t remember anything,” Tony muttered “he said that Hydra had brainwashed him and then he vanished”.

‘Whatever happened between him and Steve in Washington, he remembers at least bits and pieces now. He was coherent and logical about everything, he just wanted to talk to Steve’

“And how did you find this out?”

‘We… talked. While we waited for Steve’ you admitted, wringing your hands once Friday was done translating.

There was a moment of silence, as tony studied the texture of the floor in excruciating detail.

“Friday, how many people in the compound currently?”

“Four, sir” replied the A.I. immediately.

Tony turned on his heel to face you.

“What did you do” he demanded sharply.

‘I couldn’t leave him Tony, and the compound is the safest place for him!’

“He’s a wanted criminal, (Y/N)!!”

‘So am I!’ you gestured emphatically, water starting to line your eyes. You stared down into your lap, trying to reign in the emotions. ‘So am I, Tony. And he looked just as scared as I did the day we met’.

If you had looked up, you would have realized that Tony was staring at you with a defeated look on his face.

‘I’m sorry… I knew you wouldn’t like it but I… couldn’t…. I just couldn’t…’

He let out another deep breath and took a long drink of his scotch.

“I’m not… gonna kick them out,” he conceded, but quickly continued when your face lit up “HOWEVER, I need to go have a serious talk with Capsicle”.

You nodded vigorously, hopping off the counter and without letting yourself think about it, threw yourself into him for a hug.

He went stiff against you, and you realized that this was one of the first times YOU had initiated contact, aside from the regular healing. When you didn’t let go after a moment, he gingerly gave you a squeeze and rubbed your back.

“S’alright kiddo. You aren’t going anywhere. I… remember what I saw in you. And if you saw it in him, I don’t know that even I’ll have the heart to make ‘em leave”

You pulled away and offered him a weak smile, wiping away the beginnings of tears.

“Friday, can you call Mr. Rogers out to the balcony?”

“Certainly, sir”

Tony patted you on the shoulder affectionately, before turning to make his way up to the next floor.

“And Friday, run (Y/N) a bath please”

“Right away, sir”

Your shoulders slumped as you watched him leave, much of the tension leaving your posture. You poured yourself another glass to take up to your room and headed for the elevator.

After being in Steve’s room, your quarters felt… sterile. Where his room had been warm and comfortable, yours seemed hard and unforgiving. When was the last time you had even slept in a real bed?

Shaking off the question, you headed for the bathroom, which was already filled with steam.

One look at the tub filled with water and you wanted to run screaming for the hills.

‘Friday, you can turn off the water now’

The bath stopped filling and you released the drain, watching the waterline recede.

Once it was empty, you grabbed a bucket from under the sink and filled it with warm water. It took longer, sitting on the edge of the bath and carefully washing yourself down with a cloth and pleasant-smelling soap, but any other alternative, where you were submerged even a little in water…

By the time you had finished, Friday informed you that Steve was waiting outside your bedroom door. Throwing on a long-sleeved shirt and yoga pants, you were still in the process of patting your hair dry with a towel when you opened the door for not one, but two super-soldiers.

While Bucky was still harder for you to read, that was relief glimmering under the small smile Steve offered you.

“We… just wanted to thank you. For… whatever you said to Tony. To make this happen”.

You smiled back, but you knew it didn’t touch your eyes this time.

‘Consider it an apology’

Bucky looked like he wanted to say something, but he closed his mouth and seemed to stare at the collar on your neck.

“We… should try another movie some time?...”

‘Maybe I’ll just make dinner for everyone tonight’ you offered instead. ‘I’ll bring it up to you guys in a bit?’

Steve seemed to deflate a little, but nodded.

“That would be really nice”

You nodded, and made to close the door, taking one more instant to admire the two men standing in front of you. They both seemed to have forgiven the incident in the living room, even though the guilt was still gnawing at your chest.

Opting for what had become a popular favorite in the tower, spaghetti and meatballs, it only took a little over an hour to pull together enough food for Tony, Steve and Bucky. Friday kept a rotating playlist of music going for you, as you had come to appreciate so much, allowing you to get lost in the lyrics rather than in your own head.

True to your word, you grabbed a tray, two generous helpings of spaghetti and some garlic bread and headed upstairs.

When you knocked, it wasn’t Steve that opened the door.

“He just ran into the shower” Bucky explained quietly as he stepped aside to let you in.

You nodded, avoiding his gaze as you set down the food on the coffee table.

“(Y/N)…”

You found yourself blinking back tears again, his gentle tone bringing back a rising tide of guilt.

‘I’m-‘

He grabbed your hand, stopping you from finishing the gesture.

“It wasn’t your fault. Stop blaming yourself, doll”

Your teeth dug into your lower lip, trying not to think about how close he was standing to you.

“I might still have a bag of cats for brains, but… I understand. At least some of it. You said that you were alone, that Tony tried to help but… Maybe Stevie and I can… I dunno… think of somethin-“

You smiled a little, tearing your gaze from the floor.

‘This time I’m only saying thank you'