Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Kenma watches as his daughter skips down the hallway to her classroom, her ponytails swinging with every step. She looks like she’s about to leave class early for a vacation, not because she’s been suspended for the rest of the day. Is this a record? Suspended on the first week of school? He knows Emi is an excitable kid, but he never would have expected her to get into trouble fighting of all things.

Ugh, he’s going to have to take away her games.

“Um, excuse me?”

Kenma turns around at the source of the meek voice. He finds a boy standing behind him, looking down at his feet. His black hair is wild, sticking up at all odd angles as though having a mind of its own. He rubs his hands together nervously as he stares at the ground, avoiding Kenma’s eyes.

“Go on, Aki.” This voice is deeper, and Kenma raises his head further to see the man behind the kid.

He wears a smart black suit and a slightly crooked tie. His hair is similar to his son’s, maybe even more messy—is that genetics? Messy hair? Before Kenma’s mind can wander, he meets his eyes—a soft gold like the color of honey—and falls breathless to his handsome face. It’s got to be a crime to be that hot right? And a dad? Kenma’s lucky he manages to put on pants today that aren’t sweats. His hair is haphazardly tied up in a bun. They cannot be any more different if they tried.

The boy in front of him lifts his face. His nose and eyes are red, as though they’ve been crying. There are smudges of dirty all over his cheeks and clothes, his knees scraped with dried blood on the school uniform.

Kenma’s heart clenches. Is this another kid Emi—?

“I-I want to say thank you.” He blinks up at Kenma, his brown eyes so earnest. Oh? What? “The kids in my class were making fun of me. They pushed me down the steps outside. Emi stepped into protect me, even though we aren’t in the same class. I tried to explain to our principle, but he wouldn’t listen.” He sniffs, using the sleeve of his shirt to wipe his nose. Then he bows, lowering his head. “I’m sorry for the trouble. Emi didn’t do anything wrong.”

Kenma feels his inside soften. He kneels down so that he meets the boy’s eyes, even though he keeps averting his gaze.

“Thank you for explaining. Aki, is it?” He smiles, producing a tissue from his back pocket. He hands it over and the boy’s hand takes it timidly. Amazingly, even though they’ve just met, Kenma feels as though he’s looking at himself so many years ago. This boy with the same quiet voice, the nervous demeanor, and the anxious glances. “I know Emi meant well, but it’s still wrong to fight. Just because other people do it, it doesn’t make it okay for us to do it, too. But I’m glad you’re okay. That’s what’s the most important.”

Aki nods. He still finds it hard to look straight at Kenma. Luckily, he’s saved by his dad, who’s come up and put his hand on his shoulder.

“Why don’t you do go the nurse’s office to clean up?” He says gently. “I’ll come get you there in a few minutes.”

Then, it’s just the two of them standing in front of the staff’s office. Kenma feels suddenly out of place and wishes he had gone with his daughter to get her stuff. He meets his eyes again, intending to say goodbye, when the other man speaks up first.

“Thank you for being so kind to him, and I’m sorry again for the trouble.” He sounds just as sincere as his son. Now Kenma understands where he gets it from.

He shakes his head. “Don’t be. Emi makes her own decisions. I’m glad no one was seriously hurt.”

Apparently, some of the boys have a stomache from her punches, but nothing’s broken. They did have to apologize profusely to their parents earlier, though. That was not something Kenma enjoyed doing. Now that he knows they were bullies, well, that’s also another annoyance on its own.

“But you raised quite a girl, huh?” The man grins at him, a shit-eating-grin that makes him look so boyish. “I would never say this in front of the kids, but I’m a tiny bit proud.”

It surprises Kenma, too, when he starts to laugh, so genuine as though they’re friends who have always known each other, making a joke.

“Thank you. I’ve always told her that she’s a fighter—she was sick quite often when she was young—but I never imagined she would literally take me at my word.” He muses. Truly, besides their looks and love for games, they’re nothing alike. Kenma wonders all the time how on earth she’s turned out so different from him.

“Our children always have a way of surprising us, don’t they?” Aki’s dad cocks his head.

“Yeah.” Kenma agrees. He finds himself meeting his eyes again, suddenly pulled by his easy presence. “They do.”

They share a knowing look, from one parent to the other. Kenma has never felt this before, the feeling that someone understands what you’re going through. Maybe if Emi’s mom had stuck around, it could’ve been like this.

The moment is broken when the man suddenly blurts out, “I’m single! I mean—I’m a single dad!” Kenma blinks. Has he read his mind? “I—”

“Me too.” Kenma says to save him, seeing as the other guy is stammering and blushing furiously. He looks adorable embarrassed. Wait, why did Kenma just have that thought?

He seems to calm down after Kenma’s statement, though, and is smiling at him sheepishly. “There aren’t many of us, are there?”

“No.” Up until three seconds ago, Kenma has not met another single dad. Single moms, yes. But dads? He’s the only one he knows.

“My name’s Kuroo Tetsurou.” He holds out his hand.

Kenma takes it, surprised at how warm and large it is in his own. “Kozume Kenma, but Kenma’s okay.”

“Oh?” One of Kuroo’s brows arches up, intrigued.

“I just don’t like all the honorifics stuff.”

“Ah. Well, you can just call me Kuroo if you want.” He grins then he winks, adding. “We can work our way up to Tetsurou.”

Kenma rolls his eyes. Now he’s getting too comfortable. Is he really about to flirt with the only available person here? Though Kenma has a feeling this is just the kind of person Kuroo is.

Kuroo laughs at his expression. He waves a hand in front of his face and says, “I’m just joking, but really, I can’t thank your daughter enough for standing up for my son.” His voice lowers, a bit more serious now. “Akihiro’s very shy and reserved, so kids like to pick on him. We recently have to change schools because of it, so it means a lot that she did that. I’m hoping he’ll have a better time here.”

Kenma gets a sense that Kuroo is a good dad. It’s clear how much he cares about him.

“Like I said, it’s no problem at all. And—” He can’t believe he’s about to say these words, “—I was shy, too, so I get it. But Aki’s going to be okay. He seems like he has a great dad looking out for him.” His face burns, both at the admission of himself and the unexpected compliment. He hardly knows Kuroo, but he seems so down that Kenma wants to make him feel better.

Maybe he wishes someone can do that for him too as a single dad, another person to share his burden.

“Thank you, Kenma.” There he goes again, sounding so earnest.

Kenma looks away now, nodding his acknowledgement. His throat is beginning to close, too hard for him to say more.

“And if you don’t mind, will you be okay letting Emi come over for a playdate?” Kuroo asks, his voice rising at the end hopefully. “You two can stay for dinner as an unofficial thank-you as well.”

“Emi can come over but is dinner really okay? We don’t want to bother you.”

“Of course! I love to cook. It’s not a bother at all.”

It will be good for Emi to make more friends. Despite her friendly demeanor, Kenma hardly ever sees her hang out with other kids besides her recreational club activity.   

“Then, okay.” He agrees. He mentally goes through his schedule before suggesting, “This weekend is good for you?”

“Yeah!” Kuroo grins, so broad that his eyes look closed. It struck Kenma how expressive he is. He can see his entire heart on his sleeves. Kuroo rummages in his jacket pocket before pulling out a small card to hand to him. “Here’s my business card. Message me the times that work best, and we’ll set it up. See you then, Kenma!”

With a cheerful wave, he sets off down the hall.

Kenma stares at the small rectangular piece of paper in his name.

Kuroo Tetsurou. Japan Volleyball Association. Promotional Division.

Oh?

~

“Wait—” Kenma locks the car before Emi can jump out and go hide in her room. He hears her sigh even from the front passenger seat. “I already lectured you enough, and you’re a smart girl, so I’m not going to do it again. But I still want to say this—” Will this make him a bad parent? He doesn’t know. He never imagined this for himself after all. It’s the most he can do to hope that he does right by her every day. “—It’s a good thing that you did, standing up for Aki. He wanted to thank you, and I want to say that I’m proud of you for that. Just better methods next time, okay?” He meets his eyes in the rearview mirror, a color of gold identical to his, as though he’s looking into the past.

His daughter smiles, the first she’s had on this whole car ride. “Okay, daddy.”

“And one more thing. This weekend you’re going to go on a playdate with him.”

“What?” She whines, immediately frowning. “I don’t even know him! And I have practice!”

“You’re going after practice.” Kenma sighs. He knew she wouldn’t immediately be happy with this. Maybe she is like him, after all, preferring to keep to herself. “He’s new to the school, Emi. It’s important to make him feel welcomed. And it wouldn’t hurt for you to have more friends.” God, when did he start sounding like his parents? This is exactly the sort of thing they did constantly when he was younger.

“Daddy! What if we don’t have anything in common? And he’s a boy.” Her nose wrinkles at the last word.

“One playdate.” Kenma holds up a finger. “Then you can stop if you want, but you have to try.”

“Fine.” She mumbles, rolling her eyes. She tugs at the car door impatiently. “Can I go now?” 

“Yes.” He presses the button to unlock the door. Emi wastes no time, sprinting inside the house immediately. If he has to guess, it’s to log into her games to squeeze every last drop of playing time before he inevitably comes in to take everything away.

Kenma sits in the car for another few seconds, allowing himself a moment of peace too. It gives him no joy whatsoever to take away her consoles. Maybe he should send his parents some gifts, now that he knows how they feel as he was growing up.

And then, unexpectedly, Kenma thinks about Kuroo, who he never realizes has always been on the periphery of his life. Have they always been destined to meet?

It’s stupid and so unlike him, but Kenma can’t help but look forward to seeing him again. But first, he needs to make a call.

~

Shouyou answers on the third ring, sounding short of breath.

“H-hey, Kenma!” He greets loudly in Kenma’s ears. He can hear the pants of his breath mixed with the howling of the wind.

“Are you running?” He narrows his eyes, trying to read the time in the corner of his screen.

“Yes!”

“But it’s 10 PM.”

“So?”

Kenma forgets how crazy Shouyou is. It’s a miracle how they became friends at all. Even when Kenma quits the volleyball team in high school, they remain close. Now, he’s one of Shouyou’s biggest sponsors. Speaking of volleyball…

“Do you know someone called Kuroo Tetsurou?” Kenma’s heart starts to race as he waits for his friend’s answer. He doesn’t know why he’s nervous. It really doesn’t matter, but it feels important somehow.

“Oh!! Kuroo-san!!” Shouyou’s voice raises several delighted octaves, which is a good sign. He says seriously, “He has a rooster head.”

Kenma smirks. It does kind of look like that.

“Anything else?”

“Uh. A lot of people think he’s hot. And he’s a really nice guy, even though he likes to provoke people sometimes for his own amusement.” Shouyou’s breathing slows. It seems like he has reduced his running to a jog, making it easier for him to speak. “He’s with the JVA, so he stays courtside for a lot of games when we’re in Tokyo. Wait, how do you know him? Did you run into him at the last Adler’s game or something?”

“No. I haven’t gone to see a VLeague game in person in a long time.” He would have to find someone to watch Emi because she gets too restless if he brings her with. It’s too much of a hassel, so he just watches the recordings afterwards if he really wants to see a game. “His son actually goes to the same school as Emi.”

“Aki-kun! He’s the cutest! Good volleyball skills, too, in his tiny body.” Kenma feels relieved having heard all good things from Shouyou. Despite being pretty simple-minded, Shouyou’s a surprisingly good judge of character. It makes him feel better about agreeing to come over to Kuroo’s house. Then, Shouyou asks something that makes Kenma chokes on his own spit, “Are you looking to date Kuroo-san?”

“NO!” Kenma’s face burns. He clamps his hand over his lips to make sure he doesn’t scream the rest of the sentence, not wanting to wake Emi in the other room. “I just want to make sure Emi’s not going to be associated with bad people. That’s all. We’re supposed to have a playdate next week. Emi and Aki, I mean.” In case there was any confusion.

Shouyou laughs, apparently not convinced, “Right. He’s single, by the way.”

“I’m serious. That’s not why I was calling.” Kenma insists. Technically, didn’t Kuroo already say that he was single? He clears his throat, hoping to change the subject now. “Anyways, how are you doing? How’s Kageyama?”

Then, Kenma doesn’t have to speak for a long time, the mention of Kuroo far from the forefront of Shouyou’s brain but still at the top of his.

~

“Okay. Remember what I told you?” He leans down to be eye-level with his daughter, still holding her hand in his.

“Yes, daddy.” She looks like she’s about to roll her eyes but given that Kenma’s staring straight at her, she just grins. “Be nice. I know.”

Kenma’s pulled her black hair back in a ponytail today, but it looks like it’s about to fall out after her football practice. He’s not surprised—she always gives it her all, so different than Kenma’s do-the-bare-minimum approach. She certainly did not get her athleticism from him.

“Good.” He smiles at her, petting her head, smoothing her stray hairs in the process. Standing up, Kenma gives them both a last look-over before pressing the doorbell to Kuroo’s apartment.

Kuroo appears a few seconds later, grinning widely at the two of them with open arms, ushering them in.

“Welcome! Thank you so much for coming.” He looks at Emi, still beaming. “You must be Emi-chan. Nice to meet you. I’m Kuroo Tetsurou. Thank you so much again for being there for my son.” Then, he calls down the hallway. “Aki! They’re here.”

At the genkan, Kenma and Emi carefully slip out of their shoes and into the slippers Kuroo has prepared for them. A minute later, Aki comes into the hall, his soft footsteps coming closer until they stop just behind Kuroo’s legs. He peers timidly around them, as though checking whether the coast is clear.

Kuroo smiles down at his son, gesturing for him to come further forward.

“Let me introduce you to Kuroo Akihiro. Aki, say hi to Emi-chan.”

Aki still doesn’t want to say much, but he waves to her, a barely-audible, “Hello” escaping from his lips.

“Hi!” Emi, true to her words, comes up to him, extending her hand with a bright smile. “I’m Kozume Emi. You can call me, Emi. I don’t like the honorifics stuff.”

Kuroo flicks his gaze towards him and Kenma chuckles, shrugging. This is definitely something she learned from him.

“Hello, Emi.” Aki says, louder this time. He reaches out to shake her hand, although it looks more like she’s squeezing his a little too tight. He looks down at the ground for a moment and then up again at her face, his cheeks turning pink as he says in a slightly smaller voice, “You can call me, Aki, if you want.”

“Okay!” Emi says excitedly. “Show me your room!”

Well, that was fast. Kenma was anticipating a little bit more push-back and awkwardness, but it seems as though she’s forgotten that she didn’t even want to come in the first place.

Aki looks a bit hesitant, but with an encouraging nod from Kuroo, he leads the way down the hall, Emi trailing behind him, talking about something already.

Kenma can see Kuroo look after them with fondness in his eyes. He’s wearing a dark navy crewneck today, his cream linen pants accentuating his long legs. He looks more casual than before, but he still manages to look good. Kenma’s glad he’s stepped up his wardrobe today with his white T-shirt, red jacket, and jeans.

“She’s nothing like me.” Kenma muses out loud.

“Oh yeah?” Kuroo turns to smile at him. “Aki’s is exactly like me when I was his age.”

“Really?” He can’t imagine Kuroo every being that shy. Everything about him now oozes self-assurance.

“Don’t believe me?” He arches a brow, smirking.

“No. You seem very confident. I never would’ve guessed that.”

Kuroo shrugs. “It comes with age. That’s what I keep telling him.” He starts walking down the hallway, leading Kenma to the living room. “Didn’t you say you were shy too?”

“Yeah. I’m better at talking to people now, but it’s still not my favorite thing.” He’s grown more comfortable talking to other people after starting his streaming career. Somewhere between the end of high school and now, it becomes easier for him to not care what people think. He likes it better this way, not always having to hide.

“I see. Even world-famous Kodzuken has a weakness, huh?” Kuroo’s gold eyes glint in amusement.

“Y-you know who I am?” Kenma’s eyes round in surprise. It didn’t seem that way the first time they met.

“Well, I didn’t at first, but then I was talking to Bokuto a few days ago. He mentioned he knew you because you are friends with Chibi-chan. Then I might’ve looked up some of your videos and binged them an unhealthy amount.” He laughs sheepishly, gesturing for Kenma to have a seat on the couch.

Setting aside the fact that he’s seen Kenma’s videos—he wants to scream, “Which ones???”—Bokuto is someone Kenma is familiar with but Chibi-chan… Does he mean, “Shouyou?”

“Yeah!” Kuroo nods. He moves towards the kitchen. “Do you want something to drink, by the way? I have tea and coffee.”

“Tea is fine.” Then his curiosity gets the better of him. “You’re close with Bokuto, too?”

“Oh yeah.” His voice comes from the other side of the room behind the cabinets, distant. “Our schools trained and competed against each other’s a lot during high school, so we became good friends. I met Chibi-chan during high school, too. I think we played against each other once during Nationals.”

So, if Kenma had stuck with volleyball, they would’ve met sooner? Why did this realization make him so sad?

“It’s a small world.” He says out loud, trying to hide his unexpected disappointment.

“I wonder why I haven’t run into you yet.” Kuroo comes back in, holding two cups of steaming hot tea.

“I don’t play volleyball anymore. I’m just Shouyou’s sponsor.” He adds, “And I don’t go to a lot of games in person unfortunately because of Emi. She finds it quite boring.”

“Ouch!” Kuroo puts a hand on his heart, a pained expression on his face. “That hurts.”  

“Sorry.” Kenma grins. “I watch the recordings though. The last MSBY game a week ago was incredible.”  

“Say, you used to play volleyball?”

“Yeah. I quit in high school though.”

Kuroo studies Kenma for a moment, his eyes scanning his face and then down his body. He says after a moment, “Setter, right?”

“Right.” Kenma feels uneasy being so known. He can’t help but say back, “Middle blocker?”

It earns him a delighted grin, Kuroo’s face transforming into something so bright it rivals Shouyou’s disposition. “Yes! Oh I knew you were smart.”

“From stalking me, you mean?” He’s almost forgotten that Kuroo has seen many videos of his. He’s trying to decide whether he should regret anything or not.

“I wouldn’t say ‘stalking’. I’d said,” he puts a finger to his lips, thinking, “Researching?”

Kenma rolls his eyes. Before he can respond, he hears fast footsteps running down the hallway towards the front door. He looks just in time to see two figures racing past them in a blur.

“Where are you guys heading to?” Kuroo calls after them, hearing their hurried attempts to put on shoes.

“I’m teaching Aki how to play football!” Emi yells back.

“Did Aki agree to this?” Kenma asks, fearing that his daughter has talked him into doing something she wants to do.

“Yes!” Emi says.

Then, a beat later, Aki raises his voice, “Yes!”

Kenma and Kuroo share a look on the couch before bursting into laughter.

“Okay. Be back in time for dinner!” Kuroo manages to say before the front door slams shut. He turns to Kenma. “Looks like it’s just you and me.”

Suddenly, Kenma feels hot. Not like it’s any different than it was thirty seconds ago, but Kenma’s now much more aware of the fact that Kuroo is an attractive guy and they’re alone and it’s been too too long since he’s had anything that can even be remotely leading to sex. Not that this would lead to sex. This is for his daughter, who isn’t here but still would be incredibly inappropriate—

“Kenma?” Kuroo’s voice snaps him out of his spiraling thoughts back to the present.

“Yes?” He blinks up at him.

“I was just saying I’m going to make dinner. You can relax here. Turn the TV on if you want.”

“Oh. Should I help?” He’s not the best cook, but he knows his way around the kitchen. The basics, anyways.

“No. No.” Kuroo insists. “You’re a guest. I can’t ask you to help with dinner. It won’t take too long.”

Kenma doesn’t want to make it awkward by arguing with him, so he turns towards the TV. It’s odd being here in an unfamiliar living room, flipping through the channels with a remote that doesn’t belong to him, hearing Kuroo’s distant humming and cooking in the background.

Still, Kenma finds that he doesn’t mind it. When Kuroo comes around to stand behind him, watching along to the game Kenma’s decided to put on, they share their thoughts with each other, bouncing ideas back and forth as though they’ve known each other all along.

Kenma thinks to himself that maybe Emi and Aki aren’t the only ones to gain a friend today.

Bonus:

Emi peers into Aki’s room. It’s neater than she expects from a boy. She eyes his shelves full of books and his posters around his bed, all of volleyball players. Some she recognizes as her daddy’s friends. She sees a ball peeking out from underneath his bed.

“You play volleyball then?” She asks him.

Aki nods, still standing cautiously by the door even though it’s his room. She’s never seen a kid so quiet, so shy. But his eyes are kind. She’s seen him feed the stray cats once outside the school gate. That’s why she had felt so bad when the kids pushed him down the steps into the schoolyard.

“Do you play, too?” He asks her, looking at her through the bangs of his black hair. He and his dad have the most interesting hair Emi has ever seen. She can’t decide if she likes it or hates it.

“No,” she shakes her head. “I like football. Uncle Shouyou plays volleyball though.” He always tries to rope her into playing when he visits but it never interests her much. She prefers the feeling of scoring a goal, feeling the ball at her feet.

Aki’s brown eyes widen when he hears the name. “You know uncle Shouyou? Like Ninja Shouyou?”

“How do you know my uncle Shouyou?” He’s one of the pictures on his wall, but she hasn’t realized that he knows him personally.

“He’s my uncle too!” He says with a real smile this time. “My dad works at the JVA.” He says this so proudly that Emi can’t tell him she doesn’t know what JVA means. It probably shows on her face, though, because he explains, “It stands for Japan Volleyball Association.”

“Oooh. Uncle Shouyou comes over to my house a lot.” Emi continues to survey Aki’s room, looking for something in particular she hasn’t found yet. Finally, she just asked him, “Do you have any video games?”

“Yeah, I do.” Before her hopes can rise, he says, “But they’re downstairs in the living room.”

Ugh. Her dad will never let that slide.

“Wait,” she whorls around to meet Aki’s gaze once again. “Have you ever played football? It’s so fun!”

“Um, not really.” He shrugs. He looks around his room with its many trinkets related to volleyball. “But I can try it. I can’t promise that I’d be any good, though.”

“That’s okay! I can show you something I learned today at practice!” Emi bounces with excitement. “Let’s go to the park!”

She doesn’t know much about Aki yet, or really anything at all, but she’s going to make the most of it. She has many people she’s friendly with, but she doesn’t have a lot she considers her “friends”. She’s sure Aki will be bored with her after today anyways, so might as well do something she enjoys.

After all, her daddy promised that it would only be a one-time thing if she wanted it that way. How much difference can an afternoon make, anyways? But it’s a ripple in a pond. Neither her nor her daddy will know that until much later, though.

Chapter Text

It’s strange to suddenly have two more people around the table, but Kuroo finds that he doesn’t mind it. It’s livelier today, and he surprises even himself by how pleased he is that Kenma and Emi are enjoying his food.

There’s also the sight of his son leaning over to catch Emi’s conspiratorial whisper in his ear, then moving all of his green peppers into her bowl, while she picks the carrots from hers to transfer to his.

Kuroo meets Kenma’s eyes across the table in a silent, “Are you seeing this?”

Kenma snorts and raises his brows, as though asking, “Are you going to say something, or am I?”

Kuroo shrugs, more amused than anything. Then, it strikes him how crazy it is that they’re communicating without words. The thought shocks him so much that he bites the inside of his cheek, letting out a tiny, “Ow!” as he feels the sting.

“Are you okay?” Kenma asks, concerned.

Kuroo shakes his head, smiling while rubbing his cheek with his hand. “I’m fine. Just gotta be careful chewing, I guess.”

Kenma watches him for a moment before returning to his meal, his bright gold eyes scanning the food on the table. Kuroo has noticed this before, but here in his kitchen, he can truly admire how pretty the other man is, how his hair frames his face just right, the black blending into blonde tips. There are dark circles under his eyes, but they somehow don’t take away from his beauty. His lips are pink but chapped and Kuroo wonders if they’ll feel soft—

Shit. He probably shouldn’t be staring too intensely, and he definitely should not be having these thoughts. It’s been a while since he’s felt any sort of attraction to another person and the father of his son’s only potential friend is possibly one of the worst candidates.

Luckily, Emi speaks up, grabbing her father’s attention with a tug on his sleeves, “Daddy, can I come over here tomorrow? Aki says he’s going to help me with homework. He’s good at math. My worst subject.” She wrinkles her nose at this.

Kuroo smiles at his son, who’s taking a serious interest in his rice all the sudden, his cheeks slowly turning pink.

He’s got a friend!

“Well, let’s make sure it’s okay with Kuroo-san.” Kenma nods in his direction.

Kuroo is all too happy to say with a bright smile, “Oh, sure! We’ll be glad to have you.” His chest is about to burst from happiness. And this means that he’ll get to see Kenma more—Kuroo clears his throat and continues, “Emi, I was talking to your dad, and we were thinking that you have a strong sense of justice. And although it is wonderful, we think it needs to be expressed in the proper way.” Emi looks down at her hands abashedly. It’s endearing to see her red, blossoming cheeks, the color creeping towards her ears. “I have a friend who’s a policeman. I thought you would like to meet him and see what it’s like to be in law enforcement. It’s not a glamourous job like a judge or a lawyer, but is that something you’re interested in?”

At this, Emi’s face lights up. Her gold eyes widen in excitement as she practically bounces in her chair, “What? Really? Can I pretend to be arrested and drive in a cop’s car?”

“Er—”Kuroo sends a nervous laugh in Kenma’s direction, who looks appalled by the idea. “I’ll have to check on that specifically, but you can certainly talk to him.”

Kenma cuts in, obviously trying to dispel the idea from her head as fast as possible. “He lives in Sendai, so we can plan to go during your summer vacation. It’ll be a nice trip.”

“Yay! Sounds like fun!”

Kuroo feels a tap on his knee. He turns to see Aki’s brown hopeful eyes, “Are you talking about Uncle Daichi? Can I come too?”

“Yes, it’s him!” He ruffles his hair. “Of course, you can come. We can say hi to baby Benji, too. It’s been a while.” Last they’ve heard, Benji has taken his first steps, but it’s nearly been a year since then. Suga sends him an abundant of pictures, but they haven’t seen each other in ages.

The rest of dinner passes by too quickly with their two kids discussing their trip. Kuroo has to bite back a squeal of his own seeing his son talking so openly and excitedly to another kid his age about something other than volleyball for once.

“I think that works out well.” Kuroo smiles at Kenma. They’re standing at the door, waiting for the kids to wash up before Kenma and Emi head out for the night. “Tomorrow, we’ll be home all day, so just shoot me a text before Emi heads over.” Do you want to come too?

“I’m glad. Thank you for dinner.” Kenma gives him a small smile of his own. “Sorry about Emi inviting herself over like that. I swear sometimes she acts before she thinks.”

“No, it’s okay.” He waves him off, still feeling the flutter in his stomach from the smile. He really needs to pull himself together and fast if they’re going to continue to be in each other’s lives. “I’m happy our kids are getting along. She’s welcome to come over anytime.” And because he can’t help himself, he adds, “You too.”

When Kenma and Emi disappear down the streets, Kuroo is still thinking about that tiny smile, wishing he can see it again and again, wishing he can be the reason for it.

~

The chatter of excited grade-school students fills the courtyard, their voices and laughter bouncing off the pavement and each other. Kuroo’s heart aches seeing his son stand at the outskirts of the crowd, just watching but not joining in. He can’t do anything, though. He doesn’t want to force him into something he doesn’t want to do, and he needs Aki to fight on his own if he’ll ever grows into himself.

Then, he notices that his son’s eyes are following a figure from across the crowd, his hand lifting in a wave.

Kuroo glances over to see Emi waving back at him, her pigtails swinging joyfully as she walks. Before she can reach him, though, she’s surrounded by a hoard of girls, all wanting to say hello. Kuroo’s not entirely surprised that she’s popular. She seems like an easy-going, social girl. He can only hope that some of her confidence rubs off on Aki one day.

His heart skips a beat, however, when he sees that a few steps behind her is her father, looking slightly mortified to be here. His face is almost neutral if not for the slight frown whenever he spots a rowdy kid or the flicker of his brows when a boy almost bumps into him.

He’s wearing a pair of shorts and a black Bouncing Ball crewneck, a black cap on his head pulled down to try to conceal his face. It’s been a few weeks since they’ve last seen each other, both their kids too busy in their own club activities to hang out. Well, technically, Kuroo has picked up the habit of watching Kenma’s Friday night stream, but that’s hardly the same as seeing him in person.

Kuroo strolls over, trying to still his racing heart like a schoolboy with a crush. Is it because they’re surrounded by children that makes him feel so childish? Or is it something about Kenma that makes Kuroo feel like all of his years of experience and rationality have flown out the window?

“I wasn’t expecting you here.” He grins at him. Kenma gives him a devastating side-eye. Kuroo laughs. “What? Don’t tell me you love volunteering for school events?” Apparently, they’ve both signed up to be chaperones for the class field trip. Though, Kuroo’s sure this isn’t something Kenma is doing voluntarily.

As he suspects, Kenma lets out a sigh and says, “No. The person who volunteered was sick, and no one else was available.”

“World-famous Kodzuken here to save the day!”

“Shh. Be quiet please.” He glances around nervously. “I don’t need more attention on myself.”

Kuroo supposes that’s fair. He doesn’t know if the kids are exposed to his YouTube but having a crowd around them won’t be good in any case.

“Sorry.” He smiles sheepishly. Then he sees the shuttle buses pull into the parking lot. The teachers begin to take attendance, grouping the classes that will be together in one line. Kuroo spots Emi by Aki’s side at last, the two of them looking at a notebook together. Then, he sees Watanabe-sensei waving at him. He turns to Kenma. “Want to sit together on the bus? I don’t know anyone else here and um—Aki’s teacher is staring at me kind of intensely.”

Kenma chuckles. “Well, Emi would die if I sat next to her so sure.”

Kuroo cannot help but think that this might just be his lucky day. He resists the urge to skip onto the bus.

~

The ride to the nature reserve is fast, too fast for Kuroo’s liking. Maybe he’s just that easily entertained, and watching Kenma play on his handheld console makes the hour pass by just that much quicker. He enjoys it though, getting to see him play in person.

“I get to watch the master at work.”

Kenma rolls his eyes and chides him for being too cheesy, but there’s that tiny smile again that means that he’s pleased.

Kuroo can’t help but feel proud of himself for that. It’s been so long since he’s felt like this—the desire to make someone else happy other than his son.

When the kids are let loose on the trail, Emi and Aki lead the pack, Emi sprinting away as soon as they finish scribbling onto their notebooks and Aki never more than a step behind her. Their assignment for the day is to note the plants and animals they find during the walk according to the guidebooks. The pair with the most findings will win a prize. Despite how reserve Aki looks, he hates to lose. It seems that Emi is that way as well.

“They look like they’re having fun.” Kenma muses. The two of them are walking behind everyone, in charge of the rear. Most of the other groups of kids are taking their time looking at the path and talking amongst themselves.

Kuroo often wonders if he ever wants to be a kid again, so carefree. He watches as Emi and Aki’s legs take them farther and farther away, almost indistinguishable behind the other groups of students.

“They’re going to get lost if they keep running like that though.” He shakes his head.  

“I think their teachers are ahead.” Kenma shrugs. Then, he gives Kuroo a sly smirk. “And even then, don’t worry. I have this!” He pulls out his phone, pulling up the Find-my-friend app. He says proudly, “There’s an air-tag in her backpack.”

Kuroo laughs at the dot blinking on the screen.

“You track your own daughter?”

“Hey, don’t judge me. She runs, okay? She’s faster than she looks.” He pouts. “What?”

“Nothing. Just trying to imagine you running. You don’t seem like the type.” Oh, now he really wants to see it. He can just see how pink his cheeks will be from overexertion, the way his hair sticks to his forehead from sweat.

“Ugh, can you try not to know me so much? It’s creepy.”

Kuroo’s heart skips a beat. Still, he puts on a brave front, smirking. “Because I’m right?”

“Don’t get a big head now.” He rolls his eyes.

Kuroo’s stomach begins to warm. Kenma’s just too adorable. Can he say that? Call a grown man adorable?

Then, he notices that they’ve stopped walking, falling a bit behind the crowd.

“Come on. We don’t want to lose the group.” For being chaperones, they have not been doing a great job following the kids. Well, at least they’re making sure no one lags behind and gets lost. That’s what Kuroo’s telling himself anyways as he’s enjoying this moment with Kenma too much. He can’t help but add with a grin, “If you get tired, I’ll carry you.”

“I’m fine.” Kenma mumbles, picking up his pace a little bit, his breath becoming heavier.

“Okay.” Kuroo almost feels bad that his long legs can overtake Kenma’s strides with almost no effort.

“I mean it.”  

“Okay.”

“Kuro.”

Kuro? Oh, he’s not going to make it through the rest of the day. “What?”

“Stop smiling.”

Oh? Is he? Now that he’s thinking about it, his cheeks do hurt. He can’t seem to stop though and with every brush of the backs of their hands, Kuroo feels much more like a teenager than the adult he supposedly is. Maybe it is Kenma’s power after all.

“I can’t. I’m having fun.” He admits.

He swears he hears Kenma mutter under his breath, hiding a smile already tugging at the corners of his lips, “Me too.”

~

Aki runs towards him later, holding up a pencil that’s shaped like a plant, the prize he’s won for identifying over 65% of the organisms in the guidebook.

“Good job.” Kuroo grins, swinging his backpack over his own shoulder. “Did you have a good day?”

“I did.” Almost instinctively, he holds out his hand for Kuroo to hold. He knows that one day, he won’t get to do this, so he grabs onto his fingers tightly. Then, as his school is beginning to fade from view, Aki says as he looks up at him, eyes sparkling underneath the golden sunset, “Thank you for sending me to Chuo. I think I like it here.”

Kuroo thinks that there are many things as a parent he’s gotten wrong, so many things that he regrets. Some days, it’s hard to imagine that he’ll ever get to be his own person again, ever feel like he can breathe without feeling like he might drown. But it’s moments like these that make those doubts and worries disappear. He feels as though he’s put on this Earth so he can love his son just like this.

“I’m glad.” Kuroo squeezes his hand, trying not to choke on the words. “What do you want for dinner?” Right now, although he doesn’t know it, Aki can say anything, and Kuroo will get it for him, money and feasibility be damned.

“Hm,” he chews his lips, thinking hard. “Katsudon?”

“You got it.” Kuroo can certainly make it himself, but he thinks that maybe they can go somewhere nice for today. A little treat for themselves to wrap up this nice day.

A text buzzes in his pocket, and Kuroo wonders whether it’s from Kenma, having found the flower he’s snuck into his pocket. He couldn’t help it though. Its petals remind him of the brilliant gold of Kenma’s eyes.

~

Kuroo arrives at Kenma’s house way later than he anticipates. It’s just like his boss telling him at the last minute that something needs to be done, forcing him to stay after hours to finish up. He loves his job, but that doesn’t mean that the JVA is any less of a business than any of the companies in Tokyo.

He’s lucky that Aki’s able to go home with Emi after school or he’d have to frantically call his babysitters or pray that his dad will be available tonight.

It’s his first time coming to the Kozume residence, and even though it’s dark outside, Kuroo can clearly see that Kenma’s house is huge. It’s not fancy, by any means, nothing like the condos in Roppongi Hills, but it’s a beautiful traditional house. Somehow, it fits Kenma perfectly.

Kuroo wonders if Kenma has a kotatsu he likes to sit under when it gets too cold. Kenma strikes him as someone who hates the cold. The breezes the other day on the trail were already too much for his preference, and Kuroo had to lend him his outer jacket. Kuroo has to admit that it ends up being for his sake more than Kenma, having the lingering scent of his shampoo on the fabric afterwards that he struggles to put it in the wash.

He’s been finding himself daydreaming about the other man too often lately. Then, he always feels guilty about it because there’s no way anything between them can happen. Not that he’s holding out hope that his family can ever return to the way it was, but what Aki needs is stability, not change. Kenma will be a significant change. Neither Kuroo nor Aki are prepared for that.

He shakes his head, trying to rid himself of the thoughts. Before his mind can wander anymore, he rings the doorbell.

Kenma appears behind the door a moment later in a red pair of tracksuits that are too big and long for his limbs. Kuroo’s heart throbs at how good he looks in them, his hair falling out of his bun in a messy-but-cute way.

He pretends his heart isn’t going to fly out of his chest as he says, “Thank you for letting Aki hang out here after school today. Work’s been crazy.”

“No problem. He can come over anytime. It’s no trouble.” Kenma waves him off, his hands barely peeking out of the sleeves. This is when Kuroo also notices that he’s holding a bag in one hand. He holds it out to him. “Here.”

“What’s this?” Kuroo peers quizzically at what seems to be a lunch bag.

“Dinner.” Kenma says matter-of-factly. “We ate already, but I figure you haven’t had any. It’s not as good as any of the stuff you make, but it’s edible, I promise.”

Kenma made dinner for him? Food from Kenma? Kenma made him fo—His brain is short-circuiting. He’s only certain that there’s no smoke coming out of his head because Kenma isn’t screaming and looking at him in horror.

“Thank you so much!” Kuroo grins at him, his fingers tightening around the handle of the bag like a child holding on to the string of a balloon. “I can’t wait to eat what Kyanma made for me!”

“Ugh, it’s really not that good. Don’t get your hopes up or anything.”

Kuroo can’t care less. He’s sure it’s going to be the best thing he’s ever had.

“I’ll treasure it forever.”

Kenma sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose. “This is why I can’t do nice things. You’re so embarrassing.”

Kuroo lowers his voice to a whisper this time. “Don’t worry, I won’t let Kodzuken nation know how much of a softie you are. It’ll be my secret only.” He winks.

He knows that the entire Internet thinks that Kenma is the coolest person that ever walks the Earth, the unbreakable streamer who will ever show any remorse or emotions despite anything that’s thrown at him. Here, in front of Kuroo, Kenma’s simply a friend who is as kind as he pretends not to be.

“Tell anyone, and I’ll have to kill you.” Kenma says, clearly joking, but his face is completely dead serious.

Kuroo lets out a laugh so loud that he’s afraid the entire neighborhood will complain. He’s pushed Aki to make a friend for so long now that he doesn’t realize that he needs one, too. If they can just go on like this forever, Kuroo thinks that he won’t mind that at all.

Bonus:

Aki watches as Emi smiles and politely excuses herself from the crowd of people, walking over to where he’s standing. He can feel the daggers from their eyes as she greets him with a, “Want to be my partner?”

His gaze flickers to the surprised faces around them, although Emi pays them no attention at all. Even as the whispers start to flow in, she’s only looking at him, her bright eyes shining in the morning sunlight.

“Are you sure?” He asks, a little hesitant. The heat of their gazes are starting to make his hands sweat.

“Of course!” She confirms without missing a beat, nodding. Her face is serious when she says, “We have to identify the plants and insects, and I want first place. Everyone else will just slow me down.”

Aki can’t help but laugh. “Using me for my brain, I see.” He says, only half-joking. “Here I thought we were friends.” Truthfully, they’ve been eating together during lunch, but he still believes that one of these days she’s going to up and leave when she realizes that there are other people who are way cooler than him.

Emi just rolls her eyes, not hesitating one bit to grab his wrist to pull him to the front of the line. “Of course we’re friends, Aki. Don’t say silly stuff like that anymore, okay? Come on. Let’s go get the guidebooks. We have to win.”

He stares at their conjoining hands, his feet never stop following her as she takes the lead. Aki thinks that there are many things that they don’t have in common—their personalities are a huge one—but he realizes that day that there is something huge they share.

Neither of them lets up when it comes to winning.  

That and they’ve officially become each other’s best friend.

Chapter Text

Even though his door is open, Kuroo knocks anyways to alert Aki of his presence before heading into his bedroom. His son jumps at the sound, but he relaxes when he sees him, a smile appearing on his tired face.

“Hi, papa.” He says, the last syllable elongated by a yawn.

“You should head to bed soon.” Kuroo ruffles his son’s hair, an almost exact replica of his own spiky black mess. “You have school tomorrow.”

“I know. I’ll just finish going over these notes.” Aki gestures to the pages in front of him. He pouts a little as he says, “It’s so unfair how my birthday is always in the middle of exam season.”

Kuroo chuckles. It’s unfortunate that the day often coincides with the weeks of exams right before summer break. Even though Aki is a generally good student and Kuroo doesn’t have to worry about him, he still feels bad that he doesn’t get to enjoy his birthday guilt-free.

“Well, this Saturday, you’re exempt from studying for a bit to celebrate with me. Have you thought about what you want to do?”

There’s a wordless nod and a pause. Kuroo’s heart quickens, seeing Aki head turn away from him as he finally says in a small voice, “I want to go to the zoo.”

“Are you sure?” Kuroo tries to keep his own voice neutral, but he doesn’t know if it’s working. He doesn’t want it to freak him out or make it into a big deal, even though it most definitely is. It’s about the last thing that he expects to come out of his son’s mouth.

“I’m sure.” His son says, louder this time, his voice strong with resolve. “I want to remember it as a good memory. Not something sad.”

Inside his chest, Kuroo’s heart breaks. It’s one thing for his relationship with Kimmie didn’t work out, and it’s another thing for Aki to lose his mother in the same breath. If only he could protect him from every bad memory. If only he could be two parents for him. If only he can explain to Aki that he never did anything wrong. If only he could’ve made her stay…the list goes on and on.

But this, he can do. Kuroo smiles and says brightly, “Okay, we’ll go! We’ll have a good day together.”

His son turns to him then, a small smile on his lips as his warm brown eyes blink at him from below his lashes. “Can I invite Emi and Kozume-san, too?”

It’s another thing Kuroo hasn’t expected—they’ve never celebrated his birthdays with any friends—but it makes his chest swell with happiness. He doesn’t know how or to who he should thank for sending the Kozumes into his life, but his answer is a too-easy, probably too-eager, “Of course.”   

~

Kenma doesn’t know how he’s nine-years deep in Kuroo’s Instagram feed, but he finds himself staring at a young, college-grad Kuroo, half-naked and dripping with water and sand at a beach, surrounded by his friends. Kenma’s eyes are glazing over at everyone else’s faces and zoning in on Kuroo’s indecent abs. His account is public. Anyone can see these. Is he shameless? And more importantly, does he still look like that now underneath his button-up shirts and sweaters?

“What’s are you looking at, daddy?” Emi’s voice appears next to his elbow, prompting Kenma to smack his phone against the table with a loud thump.

“Nothing!” He says too quickly, too loudly. He feels his face burning as though he’s a child caught doing something wrong. It’s not wrong per se. It just might not be the most appropriate thing, and his daughter does not need to know what he’s doing.

Unfortunately, it seems like she’s seen a little too much because her next words are, “Was that Kuroo-san?” Her gold eyes are wide and innocent, not a trace of understanding the internal turmoil Kenma’s going through.

“Nope. Just some random people on the Internet.” He lies. He really needs to stop doing this, but once he’s started seeing one post suggested to him by Instagram, it spirals into the deep dive of Kuroo’s account. If he’s not careful, he might accidentally like something. Then he’ll really have to disappear from the face of the Earth.

Emi still looks at him with curiosity in her eyes, but she seems to get over it quickly. Finding a spot next to him on the couch, she says in a tone that suggests she wants something, “Anyways, daddyyyy.” She tugs on his sleeves, wiggling his arms in her hold. “Can we go to the zoo with Kuroo-san and Aki to celebrate Aki’s birthday this weekend? It will be so fun!”

Ah. That’s what this is about.

Kenma hums appreciatively, looking at his daughter with a stern face, “I just talked to Kuroo-san about that. You know that you have exams coming up soon.”

“I know, but it’ll just be for one day. I promise I’ll study hard before and after!”

His decision has already been made, but Kenma waits for a beat or two before giving his answer. He knows Emi would die before letting go of her top academic status in class, so he doesn’t want to give her a hard time about it, especially since she’s never outright wanted to spend time with someone like this before. But he feels that, as a parent, he can’t just give her everything that easily.

“I’ll hold you to that.” Then he smiles, giving her a pat on her head. “We can go.”

“Yay!” She throws her arms around him, nuzzling her face against his chest. Kenma’s never been a touchy person, but his daughter is a special exception. His body warms, responding to her as though she’s another part of him.

“But we have to go get him a birthday present soon.” He reminds her.

“Oh.” It looks as though it’s the first time she’s ever considered this, her brows furrowing. “What should we get him?”

“Well, you’re his friend. What does he like?”

“Volleyball.” She says quickly. “And cats.”

“We cannot give him a kitten.” He gives her a hard stare.

“I know, daddy.” She rolls her eyes at him. She purses her lips for a moment before suggesting, “Knee pads? His knees always get scraped at practice and the ones he has are stinky.” She makes a disgusted face at this, the same face she makes when he forces her to eat beans of any kind. “Because he’s a boy.”

“Okay.” Kenma can’t help but laugh. Though he has to admit that she has a pretty solid idea for a gift. “We’ll go shopping tomorrow, but you can go ahead and give him the good news about the zoo if you want at school.”

“Yay!” Emi gives him another loud cheer. Then, as though remembering their promise, she springs up from the couch and says, “I’ll go study now! Thanks, daddy!”

When Kenma is left to the silence of his own company, his phone is still faced down on the coffee table, daring and taunting him to pick it up again. He feels almost ridiculous with it, the fact that he just wants to know more about Kuroo. Kuroo’s seen Kenma’s streams and videos, right? How is this any different?

Still, his face burns with the thought of being caught again by his daughter. Then, he’s mortified because here he is, a grown man, getting embarrassed about a crush.

“Stupid, Kuro.” Kenma mutters to himself. But he can’t deny this, even to himself—he can’t wait to see him again.  

~

“Hi. Thanks for coming.” Kuroo grins at Kenma. The other man is wearing a pair of beige cargo shorts today and a simple white T-shirt. His hair is pulled up to its low bun again, tucked underneath a black Bouncing Ball cap, a few loose strands framing his petite face. He looks effortlessly pretty, and Kuroo has to bite his tongue from telling him just that. “Aki was worried I was going to be lonely by myself.”

When the kids see each other, they only spare the two adults a second to say, “We’re going to the Birds exhibit!” over their shoulders before hurrying ahead.

It’s fortunate that their legs are shorter because they don’t get too far, but it’s not like they’re here to hang out with their dads at all. It surprises Kuroo again how eagerly Aki is sprinting ahead, even after gripping his hand too tight at the gate waiting for the Kozumes to arrive.

“Oh.” Kenma’s eyes follow the two kids as the stop in front of the fences surrounding the birds, their heads hunched together to read the sign. He looks over at Kuroo, lips curving up in a half-smile. “So, they’re totally going to ignore us this whole time, aren’t they?”

“Looks like it, yeah.” God, he’s so cute. “I’m glad they’ve become such good friends. Emi’s a good influence on him.”

Kenma lets out a snort. “I’m happy you think so given your first impression of her was because she got into a fight.”

Kuroo laughs. He’s almost forgotten about that. “Her heart’s in the right place. He seems happier. And he wanted to go to the zoo, which I was afraid he would never want to come here again, but well, here we are.” It slips out before he even gets a chance to think about what he’s saying. He feels the weight of Kenma’s cat-like gold eyes on him, questioning him without saying a word. Kuroo lets out a humorless laugh. “You can ask. Sorry I know it’s probably rude to say that without elaborating.”

Aki turns around just then, and Kuroo’s afraid he’s heard them, but he just gestures to the right.

We’re going here next.

The two of them give the kids a wave as they follow behind at a distance.

“I didn’t want to pry.” Kenma’s voice lowers so that only Kuroo can hear him, allowing the chatter of the crowd to swallow his words. “I assume this is because of his mother?”

“You know?”

“Kind of.” He lifts a shoulder to his ear. “Emi’s told me that he doesn’t see his mother much.”

Ah. It seems that Aki’s shared some of it with her. This makes Kuroo happy, too, to know that he’s spoken to someone else about it. The kids at his old school used to make fun of him for not having a mom, even though Kuroo does his best to shield him from the hardships of it. It’s not a wonder at all that Emi is able to understand him in this perspective, and Kuroo feels another surge of appreciation for her.

“That’s true, even if that’s not even the half of it.” He hasn’t planned on talking about this at all, let alone talking about it with Kenma. It’s been so long since he’s thought about her really that he’s surprised at the familiar sinking feeling on his chest. “Kimmie left me a little more than two years ago, but before things went bad with us, when Aki was younger, we went to the zoo as a family. He was too young to remember, but we had this picture of the three of us here, right in front of the tiger’s exhibit. He loved that picture. She promised to take him back when he grew up so he would remember it this time.”

It feels hard to say the rest, like a lump rising and rising in his throat until it chokes him.

Kenma fills in the gap. “And it never happened.”

Kuroo’s aware of the many people around them. He can see Aki’s red shoes flashing ahead and the bright blue of his Superman t-shirt. He can see Emi’s black hair swinging in a ponytail behind her head, the yellow of her daisy dress shining under the sun. There are delighted chatters all around them from families and children, and in the distance, the chirping of the birds and the ruffling of the leaves on the tree. It’s hot outside today. Even the occasional breeze doesn’t do much for the sweats collecting at his hairline, and Kuroo briefly wonders if he’s put enough sunscreen on Aki earlier before they left.

It almost feels too much all at once if not for the feeling of Kenma’s shoulder rubbing against his arm, the closeness and steadiness of him pulling Kuroo’s focus back to this moment.

Kuroo finds himself speaking again, if only to discern that this day unfolding in front of him is starkly different than the last time he’s been here.

“I tried to go with him once,” he says, remembering the feel of Aki’s arms around his neck, his fingernails digging into his skin. He doesn’t even register that he’d left marks until hours later when he went into the shower, seeing the blossoming red crescents in his reflection in the mirror. “It was his first birthday with just the two of us, so I wanted to do something nice, you know? Something normal. Something to tell him that everything was going to be okay. He didn’t even want to walk past the gates. He wouldn’t even leave my arms. Of course, I had tried to call his mother, but she wouldn’t pick up.” It isn’t for me. It’s for Aki, your son. You remember that, right? Come on, call me back. Please. He had begged and begged, but he couldn’t even be sure if she ever listened to the voicemail.

Aki turns around again, eyes scanning for the two of them. When he spots them, he waves once more in another direction, signaling towards the signs. Emi has already started walking, but he makes sure that Kuroo and Kenma give them a thumbs-up before following along, catching up with her in a few quick strides.

“Last year, we just went to the arcade and got a small cake to share.” He smiles at the memory. “I thought he would want something similar again, but he chose this.”

Now, Kuroo has the courage to look at Kenma, and he finds the other man in deep thoughts. He’s quiet for a while before saying, “The first time Emi had a fever, I was scared shitless.” Kuroo arches his brows, urging him to continue. “My parents kept telling me everything was going to be okay. Kids get sick, you know? It was winter, so it wouldn’t be abnormal if she caught a cold. But I was up all night, worrying over every little sound. When there was no sound, I was worried she was no longer breathing.”

He lets out a small laugh, shaking his head at the memory. Then he goes on, “Her mother and I had an agreement. Emi was mine, completely mine. I didn’t love her mother or had any real longing to be with her, but that night, I so badly wanted to call her. I don’t know why. She wouldn’t have helped or wouldn’t have known more than my own mother, but I guess I just wanted someone to share the fear with me. Emi seemed so fragile lying there, and I felt helpless. But she pulled through. Every time she got sick, I felt scared, but she always pulled through.”

“She’s a fighter.” Kuroo chimes in. His chest is already feeling lighter by the second.

“Yes.” Kenma’s face scrunches then, as though he wants to take it back. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to just dump that on you when you were sharing. I just wanted to say that—”

But Kuroo knows what he’s trying to say. He’s known that too all along. He just needs to be reminded of it.

“Our kids are stronger than we give them credit for.”

“Yeah.” Kenma breathes a sigh of relief at his understanding, his brows visibly relaxing. “It’s good that you worry, because there’s no way you don’t, but if I’ve learned anything from my limited parenting experience, it’s that they’ll always find a way to pull through. Just do your best and believe in them.”

Kuroo sees Aki stop in front of the tigers’ enclosure, his legs aren’t tall enough to let him peer through the shoulders of the kids in front of him. Emi is already holding out her arms for her dad to pick her up, running back towards them.

He turns to Kenma and asks, “Will you do me a favor?”

~

Kenma is running on four hours of sleep, and maybe that would’ve been fine for him in high school, but now that he’s reached his third decade, he feels more like a zombie than a functioning human. He’s had to cancel his scheduled stream for today as well. Even though Emi spends most of her time in bed when she’s sick, he’s too restless to work properly and he would rather postpone the stream than do something half-assed.

Half of Kenma wonders if him talking about her sickness with Kuroo earlier brought on this bought of cold, but the more rational side of him thinks it’s because she’s been working too hard.

The doorbell ringing snaps Kenma out of his trance. He dries his hands from the dishwater dripping from his elbows and heads for the door.

Two figures stand at his gate, smiling.

Kuroo looks how he did that first day, black hair tousled and in a smart suit. He must’ve come straight from work. Standing next to him is his son, peaking up from behind the gate with his big brown eyes. Now, he looks nothing like the shy boy Kenma met that first day, his face expressive and excited as he says, “Hi, Kozume-san! I have some notes to drop off for Emi. Can I see her?”

“Yes, but put a mask on. I don’t want you to be sick.” Kenma opens the gate to let him in, hearing his whoop of joy as he runs into his house.

“Thank you, Kozume-san.” He calls over his shoulders. “Pardon the intrusion!”

Kenma turns around to see Kuroo grinning at him. His heart does a traitorous flip. His mind wanders to the pictures of Kuroo on the beach and his eyes involuntarily flick down to his torso. He feels his skin growing hot, and he hopes everything isn’t written plainly on his face.

Luck isn’t on his side, however, because Kuroo peers closer to him, concern in his eyes. “You okay? Not sick too, are you?”

Kenma manages to huff as he turns the other cheek, trying to hide his face. “Are you implying that I look sickly? Rude.”

Kuroo gasps audibly, hand over his chest in a dramatic manner. “I will never say such a thing! You look as radiant as ever, Kenma.”

Kenma can only glare back at him, which earns him another brilliant smile from Kuroo and his loud laugh as he asks, “So, how is Emi? I hope she’s not too sick.”

Grateful to talk about another topic, Kenma says, “She’s good. When she over-exerts herself, she gets a fever. She studies all week and stubbornly attends all her football practices without a break, so it’s catching up to her. Out of all the things she can inherit from me, I was really hoping she wouldn’t get this, but I guess we can’t pick and choose.”

“Oh yeah?” Kuroo eyes him with a sly smirk on his face. “You used to get sick after volleyball practices?”

“Only the intense ones.” Kenma rolls his eyes. His body is just not meant for strenuous exercise. It’s a miracle Emi is as athletic as she is right now.

“Hmm.” Kuroo’s finger taps his lips curiously as his eyes trace Kenma’s body up and down.

“Are you thinking something dirty? You’re making a stupid face right now.”

Kuroo feigns innocence. “I don’t know. Maybe you’re thinking of something dirty.”

Oh, he can’t be serious.

“I’ll have you know I’ve never been that worn out by someone, okay?” He will not mention the fact that he can count the amount of time he’s had sex on one hand. That’s something Kuroo really doesn’t need to know.  

Kuroo’s eyes glint at his statement. He looks smug as he says, “That sounds like a challenge.”

No. They are not flirting. They are not going there. No matter how badly Kenma wants to see Kuroo’s abs under his suit.

“I hope Aki doesn’t inherit this from you.” Kenma tsks disapprovingly.

“I assure you he only gets the best of me.” Kuroo laughs. Then, he lifts a hand to show Kenma the bag he’s holding. “Anyways, here.” It’s achingly similar to when Kenma gave Kuroo dinner a few months ago. “I know you don’t love cooking, so I made something for you both. It gets chaotic when a kid gets sick.” He looks at Kenma knowingly. “I hope you guys like fish. I find it goes well with porridge and ginger.”

Kenma takes it from Kuroo’s hand, feeling something so unfamiliar washing over him that he can barely say a word. It feels different somehow than when his mother or father would drop by to check in. And it’s not like Emi’s really sick this time and yet…

“There are also some medications too in case you run out.”

Finally, Kenma manages to say, “Thank you.” He also feels the urge to reach out and touch Kuroo, but he doesn’t do that.

~

When Kenma sinks into his bed that night, he feels the tiredness of the day in every muscle in his body, weighing him down like bags of sand on his chest. Emi seems much better this evening than the morning, and she’s gone back to sleep now. His door is still cracked open just in case she needs to reach him in middle of the night.

Kenma stares at his phone, at the open conversation he has with Kuroo. They haven’t texted since their trip to the zoo, but Kenma’s been staring at the keyboard on his screen this entire evening, trying to muster up the courage to say something.

Quickly, before he loses his nerve, he sends a simple, “Thanks again. The food was good.”

His phone rings not even a second later, startling him.

It’s Kuroo.

“Hello?” Kenma says meekly into the phone. Maybe he meant to type in a response and accidentally clicked call?

“Hi.” Kuroo’s voice doesn’t seem like someone who hasn’t meant to call anyone. “How is Emi?”

“Better. Her fever broke, and she was able to eat the food you brought earlier, so hopefully after tomorrow, she’ll be back to normal.” Saying the words out loud makes Kenma feel better too, as though putting the situation into perspective.

“Ah. Good! Just in time for exams.” Kuroo jokes. They’re next week, after all.

“Yup.” Kenma agrees.

There’s an awkward pause of silence when they’ve run out of things to say. Why did Kuroo call? This could’ve been a text.  

“That’s great to know.” Kuroo speaks up first, clearing his throat. “Well, good night, Kenma.”

“Wait—” The word leaves Kenma’s mouth before he can think about it. He doesn’t know what he’s planning on saying. He just knows he doesn’t want to say goodbye. Not yet. Not so soon.

“What’s up?”

“The Sendai trip.” He finds himself saying. “Should we talk about that?” It’s not as though it’s unreasonable. The kids will be entering summer soon.

“Oh right!” Kuroo brightens up, his voice clear as it comes through Kenma’s headphones. As they talk and talk and talk, the conversation diverts away from the trip into more mundane, impractical matters, but Kenma finds that he doesn’t care. Even as he’s falling asleep, he feels as though he can hear Kuroo’s voice in his ears, lulling him into a sweet dream.

Bonus:

Aki turns over his shoulders to see Kozume-san and his dad in deep conversation. Then, his dad breaks out in a loud, full body laugh that makes many people stare. Aki looks away to pretend he’s not with them.

“My papa talks about your dad all the time.” He tells Emi, who’s still trying to get the attention of the sleeping pandas by making baby noises at them.

“Really?” She smiles, her head tilting towards him.

“Uh huh.” He nods. “He’s always like Kozume san this, Kozume san that, when are you coming over to Kozume-san’s place. It’s every day.”

Emi hums. “My daddy looks at your dad’s pictures on Instagram all the time.”

Aki mulls over this for a minute. He knows his dad likes to watch Kozume-san’s videos when he cooks sometimes. It’s odd that he knows someone so famous. Well, they know Bokuto-san and Hinata-san, and they’re famous. His dad doesn’t talk about them nearly as much. Then, a thought pops into his head.

He asks Emi seriously, “Do you think they like each other?”

She rolls her eyes at him. “Well, yeah.”

“No.” It’s his turn to roll his eyes. “I mean like like each other.”

Emi’s gold eyes round, and they twinkle in excitement as it dawns on her. “Ooooh. Maybe! That’d be cool, right? We can be siblings.”

“Yeah! I always wanted a sibling.” He smiles. “Papa has a sister. She only visits once a year, but she’s so nice. She always brings me gifts from America.”

“Wow, if we’re siblings, we can be like twins!”

Aki wrinkles his nose. “I think you can only be twins if you look like each other.”

Emi confidently shakes her head, her ponytail swinging wildly. “No, there’s a thing called paternal twins. I’ve heard about it. You don’t have to look alike at all.”

Aki isn’t so sure, but his friend does know a lot of things he doesn’t. And he doesn’t want to fight with her.

He just shrugs and says, “I guess. That’d be cool.”

Emi peers over her shoulders at their parents. They’re still standing close together, but it’s Kozume-san this time that’s listening intensely to his dad talk. Aki feels as though he’s trying to absorb every word. He wonders if his dad gets nervous talking if someone so pretty is staring at him.

She says decisively, “We’ll just need to figure out if they like each other.”

“How are we going to do that?”

“I don’t know yet, but I’ll find out. I’m sure some of the girls at school will know.” At his snorts, she looks over, scrunching her nose at him accusingly. “What?”

“Girls? Our dads are different than schoolgirls, I think.” Aki doesn’t have a lot of friends who are girls, but from overhearing their conversations in class, he isn’t sure if they’ll have good advice to share.  

“Love is love, Aki.” She shakes her head at him. “Haven’t you heard of that?”

“I don’t think it applies to this.”

“Just trust me, okay?” She points towards her chest. “I’m older and wiser.”

“No.” He grins at her. “I’m older which also makes me wiser.”

“Fine. Then you figure out if they like each other.”

Oh. Maybe he hadn’t thought this through. “Uh. No, thank you.”

“See?” Emi grins brightly. “You need me. Don’t worry. I’ll come up with something.”

Aki hasn’t been friends with her for too long, but he feels as though he knows her well enough. When she says “don’t worry”, it’s usually not a bad idea to worry a little. But he always has fun with Emi, so he’s sure it’ll all work out.

He glances back at his dad who gives him another smile and a wave. Even though his mother isn’t here, he doesn’t feel the absence of her as loudly as he did two years ago. Aki thinks about the picture they’ve taken earlier with the four of them, a lazy pair of tigers sleeping in the back. He’ll try to remember it and hold it in his mind when he thinks of the zoo. And he’ll remember Emi’s nonsensical chatter and her attempt to befriend every single animal they meet. He’ll remember and remember this sunny day.

Bonus bonus:

On some corner of the Internet, a thread responding to Kodzuken Official Twitter announcing the scheduled stream cancellation.

cactus @belovedkodzuken: no kodzuken stream today ☹ wtf am I supposed to do with my life

USER, PhD @user93815istyping: Do you think his daughter is actually sick though

carro @ontheflipside : Wdym

USER, PhD @user93815istyping: I mean don’t you guys think kodzuken has been acting different lately??? Always smiling and stuff??? You think he’s dating?

average fan @cherryyyydust: okay why would he LIE about his daughter’s health…you guys are sick

Momo @kodzukenforevernevermore: yeah you’re delusional. He doesn’t have time for that. also he would never cancel a stream for a GUY

Momo @kodzukenforevernevermore: or a girl

kyo @_kyojean: LMAO even if that’s true there’s no way he’s with a girl. That dude is gayTM

hiiii💛 @shira_a: Hes a single dad. He doesn’t have time to date

elle @kodzukenluvbot: he can still date. he’s rich so he probs hire a nanny to wtahc her

ginny @ginchannnnns: Idk I don’t see him ever liking somebody tbh

kondou shouri enthusiast @mizuidoreya : y’all are crazy because he’s clearly my boyfriend!!!

no baby no @_fr3ckl3dbr0ws_ : wait look at this screencap tho from his latest stream. Hes literally beaming…

(The attached picture is of a typical Kodzuken get-up in his black headphones and Bouncing Ball hoodie. The smile he wears is reminiscent of the Mona Lisa in that it sparks a whole debate and spawns thousands of other Twitter threads dissecting his expression.)

~

In his room, Kenma’s phone lights up.

Shouyou: Kenma you’re trending on Twt!!

He groans and goes back to sleep.

In another part of the city, a different single father screenshots and saves the circulating photo, a true, unambiguous smile on his face.

Chapter Text

“Am I boring you?”

“What?” Kuroo looks up, startled at Bokuto’s pouting face from across the table. “No.”

His friend raises his brows up to his hairline, boring his gold eyes into his. “You’ve been staring at your phone a lot.”

“I just wanted to check the time.” Which isn’t untrue.

“So, I am boring you!” Bokuto lets out an exaggerated sigh, letting his head hit the table with a dramatic thump. “My god.”

“NO!”

“Then, it’s my goatee, isn’t it? You can’t even look at me, is that it? I’m hideous!” He palms at his chin where a scruff of grey-white hair now sits. “You hate it? Should I shave it? Keiji said he likes it.”

Truthfully, Kuroo thinks the goatee works on Bokuto, although on anyone else it probably would look ridiculous.

“No, it’s not you.” Kuroo waves him off. He knows Bokuto is only half-joking, but he still doesn’t want him to get any wrong ideas. “It’s just getting late, so I was checking the time. That’s all.”

“You’re being weird.” Bokuto narrows his eyes at him now, studying his face closely as he leans in across the table.  

“I’m being completely normal.” Kuroo mutters. But then why does he feel like a child caught in a lie?

“Hmm.” Bokuto sits back on his chair now, rubbing at his chin as he thinks out loud. “It’s Wednesday, so Kenma probably doesn’t have a stream you’re late for…”

“I don’t watch his streams every time.” It’s pretty damn close to every time, but he feels this won’t help his argument.  

“Right.” Bokuto gives him a sly smirk. “Come on. Spit it out. I will be here all night if you don’t.”

Kuroo rolls his eyes. “As if Akaashi will let you spend your precious vacation with me.”

“Going to take that chance?”

Not that Kuroo doesn’t want to spend all night catching up with Bokuto, who he hasn’t seen in a few months, but he would rather have his night back to himself too. And despite what Bokuto is insinuating—he would absolutely not camp out here—but would find another way to weasel the truth out of Kuroo instead. Either way, there’s no point in hiding it, especially since it’s not even a bad thing to begin with.

Kuroo relents, checking his phone again, less discreetly this time since he’s already been caught.

“It’s just…we call.” He pauses, realizing for the first time that this thing between them is becoming more than just parents whose children are friends with each other. “Kenma and I call usually around this time.”

“Every night?” Bokuto blinks, surprised written plainly on his face.

Kuroo nods. They’ve started doing that since that day Emi got sick. First, it was just updates about her as she recovered. Then, Kuroo finds himself telling Kenma about his day, too, reaching for the phone every night to see if he’s still up. They’d call after Kenma’s streams some nights if Kuroo stays up to watch them. Now, it’s a routine. Even if sometimes they only talk for a few minutes, Kuroo finds that the day isn’t complete until he hears Kenma’s voice at the other end of the line, his tired “Goodnight” the last thing ringing in his ears before the call cuts off.

“I told him I would probably call late today because you’re here, but I just want to make sure it’s not too late since he has a board meeting in the morning tomorrow.” Really, he doesn’t even need to call Kenma at all, but it makes him antsy to think that he won’t get to talk to him today.

“Oh my god.” Bokuto’s voice is awed as he stares at him, his jaw slack.  

“What?”

His lips curl up in a smile as he leans in, whispering the next words like they’re a secret. “You’re in love with him.”

“No!” Kuroo exclaims too quickly, too loudly. He lowers his voice as he hisses, “It’s just a crush.”

 “Yeah! A big fat crush.” Bokuto laughs, amused. “Man, I should’ve introduced you to him earlier if I knew you were going to be obsessed with him.”

Kuroo’s heart is racing inside his chest, his cheeks becoming red and warm as his voice raises several alarming octaves, “I’m not obsessed!”

Bokuto is still grinning at him like he’s done something so amazing. “Whatever you say. It makes sense to me anyways.” His smile turns soft. “You seem happier lately. You’re always at your best when you love someone.”

“I don’t even know what that’s supposed to mean.” Kuroo lets out a sigh. He runs a hand through his back hair, scratching at the back of his neck. “Anyways, I’m not going to do anything about it.”

“Why not?”

“Um, I have a son? And he has a daughter?” It seems obvious to him but maybe to someone else who isn’t a parent, it’s hard to understand. “It’s complicated.”

“I think you’re making it complicated in your head.”

Kuroo racks his brain to find the right words, half-grateful that he has a chance to work some of these thoughts out loud, half-disappointed that he can’t just ignore these feelings forever in delusion. “Just—I can’t have another adult walk out on Aki, you know? Our kids are best friends, and Aki’s never had a close friend before, so I really don’t want to jeopardize that if anything goes wrong between us.”

That’s his greatest fear. Not the fact that things with Kenma might end, but the fact that Aki will lose two people who are becoming so important to him.

“Hm.” Bokuto’s face turns pensive. “I see what you mean. I never even thought about that.” A silence stretches between them and then they get here, the question Kuroo knows is coming. “It’s not about her, is it? Do you still think about her?”

He’s lost count of how many times they’ve talked about this exact same topic, but surprisingly, his voice comes out more even today, less like the words themselves are trying to choke him.  

“I haven’t thought about her so much lately.” It’s not a complete No. He thinks it’ll probably be years until it is so. Even then, what if she wants to come back into Aki’s life? Will he let her?  

“It’s okay to move on, you know.” Bokuto’s voice is gentler now, more serious, losing its earlier teasing tone. “If you’re worried about Aki, I get it, but if it’s because you don’t think it’s appropriate or whatever for you, then I don’t think that should be why. I just hope that you aren’t holding yourself back.” His face breaks into a smile once more. “And really, you can pick someone way worse than a famous multi-millionaire gamer.”

Kuroo’s eye round. “He’s a millionaire?” He should’ve known that. Between his streams and Bouncing Ball Corp, Kenma also follows the stock market religiously. He’s Hinata’s sponsor, and now that Kuroo knows him personally, he remembers that he donates a hefty amount yearly to the JVA.

“Multi-millionaire.” Bokuto corrects him.

The two of them break out in a laugh. Even as they continue to joke though, Kuroo keeps this thought to himself—sure, he can do way worse than Kenma, but he’s almost certain there is also no one better.

~

They take Kenma’s car out to Sendai with Kuroo in the driver's seat and Kenma in the passenger, giving him directions. The kids are in the back, sleeping as they were woken up much earlier than they’re used to. After they get on a long stretch of road, Kenma nods off too, his head resting against the window. Kuroo lowers the volume on the radio, so it doesn’t wake anyone up.

It’s surprisingly domestic, this picture of the four of them. Kuroo tries not to enjoy it too much, even as he thinks he can do this for the rest of his life.

Finally, when they arrive at their hotel, they meet Daichi and Suga at the front lobby. Aki runs into Suga’s arms while Daichi pulls Kuroo into an embracing hug.

“Don’t tell me you’re starting to get gray hairs, Daichi. You’re turning into an old man.” Kuroo grins, ruffling his short black hair.

“Me? What about you? I think I see a bald spot right about there.” He points at the back of his head, lips turn up in a teasing smile.

“Papa’s hair does shed everywhere.” Aki adds from where he’s being squished in between Suga’s arms.

Kuroo clutches at his chest. “Betrayed by my own son.” He hears Emi giggle behind him and remembers that he and Aki did not come here alone. He turns back, gesturing for Emi and Kenma forward. “Sorry, I almost forgot. This is Kozume Kenma and his daughter Emi.”

They both bow. Suga releases Aki to lean down to be at eye-level with Emi, smiling kindly.

“Hello. It’s very nice to meet you. I heard you’re a smartie.”

“I’m at the top of my class!” Emi grins proudly, puffing out her chest.

“Thanks for letting her hang out with you for a day.” Kenma says, directing this towards Daichi.

It’s now that Kuroo registers that Daichi is in his police uniform, looking more adult than he’s ever seen him. His shoulders fill out the blue buttoned shirt nicely, the sleeves rolled up to his elbows, showing his muscular arms.

“It’s not a problem! Today shouldn’t be a busy day. I’ll show them around the station and show them my patrol route.” He leans down too, winking and tilting his cap at the kids. “And I heard you guys wanted to ride in a police car.”

“Yes!”

“Yay!”

They cheer at this, jumping up and down excitedly.

Suga hands both Kenma and Kuroo a bag and says, “I made this for the kids. Thought it would make it more fun.” His brown eyes twinkle with joy, holding a little secret.

As they usher their children upstairs to get changed and drop off their luggage, Kuroo discover that the bags contain identical policeman outfit for the kids. They look like mini-versions of Daichi once they’re both dressed. Aki’s messy hair is hidden under his small cap and Emi’s is braided into two pigtails at her sides. Suga’s also given them fake police badges with their names on it.

“You really went all out.” Kenma muses, looking at Emi twirling around in her outfit.

“It’s summer, so I have more time on my hands.” Suga grins, clearly proud of himself. He’s a primary school teacher, but Kuroo doesn’t think that costume-making was part of the job description. It does seem like something right up his alley though. “What are you and Kuroo going to do all day when the kids are with Sawamura?”

“I have to catch up on some work, actually.” Kenma grimaces.

Something in Kuroo’s chest deflates. He’s been looking forward to spending some time alone with Kenma.

“What about you?” Suga tilts his head at him.

He tries not to let his feelings show on his face as he says, “I was hoping to spend some quality time with Benji! Are you going to keep him from me forever?”

Suga laughs. “Of course not. He’s with my mother right now, but I’m going to go get him after this. You’re welcome to come with me.”

“Sure you can’t come with?” Kuroo arches his brows at Kenma. He sees him stifle a yawn as he waves his hand in front of his face.

“Yes. You go. I’ll see you tonight?” His gold eyes blink at him and for a moment, Kuroo forgets himself, forgets that he’s here in the middle of the hotel lobby with Suga witnessing this exchange, forgets to even answer.

It’s just a split second too long when he finally clears his throat and says, “Yes! For the firework festival. I’m looking forward to it.”

When all of them have bid each other goodbye, Aki and Emi bouncing excitedly after Daichi and Kenma walking up the stairs back to his hotel room, it’s just Kuroo and Suga heading out to the road, making their way towards direction of his parent’s house.

Suga is looking at him curiously, his lips curved into a knowing smile as he hums to himself. Kuroo feels as though this situation is eerily similar to his recent conversation with Bokuto.

“I don’t know what you’re thinking, but I just want to say that nothing’s going to happen.” Kuroo’s determined to keep his eyes straight ahead at the rows of houses appearing in front of his eyes rather than the glances Suga shoots his way.

“If you say so.” He lets out a chuckle. And then, “He’s cute.”

“Don’t let Daichi hear you say that.”

“Oh, please.” He scoffs. “Look at Daichi. Clearly, Kenma’s not my type.”

He has a point there. They’re nothing alike.

“How do you know he’s mine?”

At this, Suga barks out a laugh, so loud that Kuroo has to look at him to check if he’s okay. He wipes tears from the corners of his eyes, barely able to get out the words, “Are you kidding? Anyone with eyes can tell that you’re into him. Sorry you didn’t get to hang out with him, but I’ll make sure you two get some alone time at the festival tonight.” He nudges Kuroo with his elbows.

Kuroo’s lips are curling up on their own, betraying the fact that he wants to act normal and nonchalant about it all.

“Whatever.” He says, his heart already racing at the thought that it will be him and Kenma under the sky as the fireworks boom overhead. What a beautiful scene it will make, to see Kenma lit up in color. What if they kiss? What if everything will never be the same again?

~

Even though his mother has shown him many times, it still takes Kenma way too long to dress Emi in her yukata. The fabric is a soft pink cherry blossom print, her favorite flower, and Kenma even pins a matching Sakura clip to her black hair. In this outfit, she suddenly looks much more grown than Kenma remembers. He swears it’s just yesterday she’s stumbling every third step. Now she can outrun him in a heartbeat.

“Daddy, do I look pretty?” She smiles at him, her gold eyes blinking up at his.

“The prettiest.” Kenma smiles back, reaching to pat her head. One of these days, she’ll be taller than him too and will probably not want him to do this any longer. He’ll have to cherish each of these moments of her childhood before they slip away. “Let’s go. We don’t want to keep them waiting too long.”

Kenma’s opted for a simple pair of cargo shorts and T-shirt today. Even though it’s nighttime and Sendai is admittedly a smaller city than Tokyo, he still puts on his hat to cover his face. He prefers to be as invisible as possible.

He sees Kuroo waiting with Aki in the lobby, his son in his lap as they look outside the window. Kuroo wears shorts too and a simple black T-shirt. Somehow, his shoulders look even sturdier in this outfit, his biceps poking out from the sleeves of his shirt almost making Kenma want to reach out and touch them just to see how they’d feel.

He’s glad that the night is covering his blushing cheeks as he tries to tamper down the thoughts in his head. They walk together towards the festival, with Kuroo’s phone providing directions.

“Emi really enjoyed spending time with Daichi today.” Kenma says, remembering how she has gone on and on afterwards about how cool he’d been. “She said they even helped an old lady with her groceries.”

Kuroo grins, his eyes shining even in the darkness of the night. “I’m glad. Aki had fun too, but I don’t think he’s going to be pursuing this career anytime soon.”

“Oh, you think Emi is disciplined enough to be a police officer? No way. I think she likes the idea of it better than what it actually is.”

“Well, they’re young.” Kuroo looks at their kids just a few steps ahead of them, chattering between themselves. “They have their entire life to figure it out.”

“Sometimes I wish they’d stay young forever.” It slips out before Kenma can think about it. It seems to happen a lot around Kuroo. His thoughts just come pouring out, as though he knows they’d be caught in gentle hands.

Kuroo hums his agreement and then he says, “Sometimes I wish nothing can ever hurt them.”

Kenma looks at Kuroo then, hearing more than the words that are said. He finds himself thinking, I wish nothing has ever hurt you. But then maybe they’d never be here. Together. Is that selfish? So, he says nothing at all.

~

The four of them ended up at the festival together without Daichi and Suga. Apparently, baby Benji’s missed his afternoon nap and is extra cranky this evening, so they don’t think it’s a good idea to bring him out. Kuroo remembers the days where his own Aki refuses to go down after lunch, just to burst out crying in frustration by dinner time. Being surrounded by the entire Sendai population on a summer night probably isn’t the best environment for him.

Suga: I’m so sorry (ᗒᗣᗕ)՞

Suga: I hope you guys have fun though!!!

Kuroo doesn’t mind. Not when he tucks his phone back inside his pocket and looks up to see Aki tugging at his hand towards a Takoyaki stand. Seconds later, he gets to see Kenma’s concentrated face, his tongue sticking out at the corner of his mouth, as he tries to shoot at all the cans to win Emi a stuffed cat. Kuroo’s own tongue is sweet with the taste of candied apples, and he can’t help but smile at the syrup stuck on Kenma’s cheek. Can’t help but wonder if it’d taste even sweeter if only he’d be brave enough to bring his lips there.

The summer night is hot and loud and stickied, but Kuroo’s heart is full and light. They find a spot by the riverbank to sit down before the show starts. He feels the grass tickling his legs and the weight of Aki’s back against his chest as his head is tilted up towards the sky. And he feels just the barest touch of Kenma’s fingers against his own as they lean back, their arms bracing themselves and their children from falling.

Kuroo moves his hand a millimeter closer, still looking at the sky instead of Kenma because just as much as he’d like to see his beautiful face, he’s afraid he can’t stop himself once he does.

It’s starting.

Kenma’s fingers are soft as they intertwine between his. Kuroo can hear the boom of fireworks or maybe it’s just the thundering of his heart. He squeezes his hand because there is nowhere else for his feelings to go. He almost regrets it, almost pulling out of his grip, afraid because he’s so used to that feeling by now, but Kenma squeezes back.

The fireworks in the sky are beautiful, but Kuroo feels as though he can close his eyes, and he can still see them, bursting and exploding, his whole body aflame.

~

Emi falls asleep easily and quickly. Given her exciting day, Kenma worries she’d still be running high off the sugar in her sweets, but her batteries seem to drain the moment her pajamas are on her body.

Kenma feels tired too. Traveling and crowds have always done that to him. But as he lays in the darkness of the unfamiliar hotel room, the hum of the AC filling in the air, he finds it hard to shut off the thoughts in his head.

His phone lights up on his nightstand, and Kenma reaches for it, careful not to dip the mattress too much and disturb his daughter. His heart responds instinctively even as his eyes are barely comprehending the words on the screen.

Kuro: Are you still up?

Kuro: Would it be weird if we call?

God. Is this why he can’t sleep? Is he so reliant on his routine that his mind will not shut off until he hears a certain voice bid him good night?

Kenma: meet me outside?

~

Their rooms are right next to each other, so Kenma doesn’t feel too bad leaving his daughter asleep alone inside. Kenma lets his door close with a soft click as he sees Kuroo’s back appearing behind his own. It feels a little bit like sneaking out late at night, even though it’s them who are the parents.

“Hey.” Kuroo grins at him, his hair even messier somehow even though his voice doesn’t drip with sleep. Kema tries to ignore the slight bulge on the front of his checkered pajama pants, the way his white T-shirt just hangs short, slightly above his waist.

“Hey.” He leans against the wall and then decides to just slide down towards the ground. He’ll have to change his pants when he goes back in, but he doesn't want to stand the whole time here. How long is he planning on being out here anyways? “Thanks again for setting this up. I think Emi had a great time.”

“Of course. Aki had fun too. He’s always loved fireworks even if crowds aren’t his favorite thing.”

“It’s been a while since I’ve been to a festival.” Emi always goes with his parents, who are much more into this kind of thing, but Kenma isn’t lying when he says, “I had fun.”

“I did too.”

There’s a moment where neither of them speaks, but Kenma can hear the words just fine, can pick out Kuroo’s feelings from the way his gold eyes flicker at his face, his lips, and then down at his hands, his throat bobbing as he swallows his nerves.

Kenma feels it again—the need to protect Kuroo, maybe from his own mind, maybe from Kenma’s selfishness. Even though all he wants is to reach his hand to caress his face, to move his bangs from his eyes so he can really see him, he says, “You don’t have to say anything.”

Kuroo looks surprised. Then sad. Then he wears a tiny smile.

“How is it that you can always read my mind?” It comes out in an awed whisper. And Kenma is reminded that it’s just the two of them here in his hallway, their knees touching, their breaths the only other sound.

“It’s not hard. You wear your heart on your sleeves.” Your emotions on your face. Your feelings in your actions.  

Kuroo is looking at him, and Kenma wonders what he sees. He doesn’t mind if he can see everything. He doesn’t know what to make of that.

Kuroo lets out a small sigh as he rests his head against the wall. His voice is low and almost defeated as he says, “I just wish—sometimes I wish it was different.”

Kenma arches his brows, a wordless nudge for him to go on.

The other man takes a minute before he responds, his eyes drifting away from Kenma’s to a spot behind him.

“It’s the same fucking cycle you know. My mom left my dad. And then Kimmie left us. I mean, is something wrong with me?” Kenma feels his heart ache. “I don’t want to subject him to this curse too.”

“Kuro, you’re not cursed.” He says in the gentlest tone that he can, even though he just wants to shake some sense into him. He’s heard bits and pieces about their relationship from Kuroo over the past months. He knows it was rocky before Aki was born, and even though they tried to make it work afterwards, it wasn’t enough. “You didn’t do anything wrong. Sometimes, things don’t work out. That’s it. And Aki is happy with you. He loves you.”

Kuroo’s eyes rest back on Kenma’s face. Kenma can see the tiredness in them, can tell there are more behind them that he’s yet to set free.

“Can I ask about Emi’s mother? It’s okay if you don’t want to share.”

Kenma’s not surprised about this question. He’s been waiting for it too. He could’ve volunteered the information, just as Kuroo has, but he’s just not that type of person. But he’d tell him if he asks, so now, he says, “Her mother didn’t want her.”

Kuroo blinks. “What?”

He hasn’t thought about this in a long time. Truthfully, he doesn’t ache about it, but he knows, one of these days, Emi will want to know. He’s yet to figure out what he wants to say to her when the time comes.

“We weren’t even seeing each other.” Kenma admits, remembering the decision that ultimately changes the course of his life. “We just hooked up once because I was curious how it would be. I’ve always liked guys, but I thought maybe I could be into girls, too. Maybe I just needed to try it out?” He laughs at the foolishness of it now. “That’s it. Then she called me and told me.”

He pauses here for a moment. The fears he feels now aren’t the same as they were back then. He’s almost ashamed of himself when he confesses, “We weren’t going to keep her, but I was there at her first doctor’s appointment. When I heard her heartbeat for the first time, I knew I couldn’t give her up.”

“I’ll take full responsibility.” Kenma says as soon as the technician leaves the room.

Her eyes widen. She says quickly, “I don’t want to marry you—”

There’s an urgency in his voice that he doesn’t even understand himself, but he knows this is what he’s meant to do.

“I don’t need you to marry me. I’ll take care of her. Or him. Whatever.” He holds his gaze, much more confident than he’s ever felt in his life given that he has not a single clue what it means to be a father. But he knows this at least—the baby is his. There isn’t anything he won’t do for them. “You don’t have to be involved if you don’t want, but I will take full responsibility.”

She scoffs, looking so skeptical and rightfully so. Her fingers play with the hem of her shirt, her eyes flickering down to the barely noticeable bump on her stomach.

“How do I know you’re not just saying that? I mean, guys say it all the time but then they leave.” She looks at him now, her voice through gritted teeth. “I don’t want to be a mother.”  

“I can sign a contract or whatever. You’re free to smear my name if I ever try to back out.”

She doesn’t know he’s Kodzuken. She’s just a college kid in his class. But maybe it’s enough that he says it with all the conviction he’s never had before in his life. Is this the so-called “guts” people keep yammering on about? Or just stupid, baseless confidence?

But she believes him. She gives him Emi, and he’s never seen her since.

“She never once reached out afterwards. It wasn’t easy, as you know, being on my own. The first few years were the toughest. Thankfully, I was still at home then, so I had my parents watch her when I had to stream or attend my meetings. I told you she was sick a lot, and I wondered if it was because she didn’t have her mom.” He wondered all the time if it had been a mistake. “I’m not the most nurturing and affectionate person, so I never felt like what I did was enough. I still don’t, sometimes.”

Somehow, Kuroo’s hand finds itself on Kenma’s knee in the middle of his story, a warm comfort that grounds him here to the present.

“You said it yourself that we can only do our best. And looking at her,” he smiles, “I know you’ve given her a wonderful life.”

“Thank you.” Kenma smiles back. “I guess I do wish sometimes that things were different, but what I have now is pretty good. So, I don’t mind.”

For the second time that night, Kenma’s hand makes its way towards Kuroo’s like a lock and its key, like two inevitable magnets.

This time, Kenma finds the courage to look at Kuroo, to count the moles on his skin, to see the sparkle in his eyes, almost seeing his own reflection in them.

“Kenma.” He’s never heard his voice like this before, so thick as though his throat is closing up. “I really like you, but I don’t—I don’t know if I want to start something new.”

“I really like you, too.” I have never liked anyone this much. “We don’t have to do anything.”

Kuroo squeezes his hand, the way he did earlier that evening, the same desperation in the action.

“The thing is that I really want to. I want to kiss you so badly it honestly scares me.” His smile turns wistful. “But we don’t come alone, do we? We have our kids to think about. Whoever we introduce into their lives will make an impact. I don’t want to make that decision lightly.”

Kenma nods. “Of course. I know we’re already in each other’s lives, but it’d be different. And I don’t want to mess up their lives too.”

One corner of Kuroo’s lips turn up higher than the other, his eyes looking like he’s got a crazy enough idea it just might work.

“What if we just kiss? You know, see if we’re even compatible with each other? It doesn’t hurt to try, right?”

Kenma can’t contain his laugh. He hides it behind his other hand to make sure it doesn’t wake everyone on the floor, his daughter and Aki included.

“You’re a terrible flirt. Does that work on other people?”

Kuroo has the audacity to arch a brow and says, “It’s working on you.”

“Shut up.”

“Am I wrong?”

It’s terrible and sweet and cheeky and so so so Kuroo. And Kenma likes him so much. It scares him too, but he’s done many things he’s scared of by now, right? What’s one more?

Kenma leans in, brushing his lips against Kuroo’s the way he’s been wanting to for days and days now. There’s a surprised gasp from the other man that he kisses away, tasting it in the roof of his mouth, the back of his throat. He feels Kuroo’s hand in his hair, pressing them even closer together.

It’s loud again, the beat of his heart. He’s never felt more alive.

Kuroo’s wearing a dopey smile when they part, his lips red and still so kissable.

“I only did that to wipe the smirk off your face,” Kenma says through catching his breath.

“Okay.” His eyes flicker down to Kenma’s lips again.

They both understand this truth—once they start, they can’t just end with one.

Bonus:

In the car on the way home, Emi holds Aki’s eyes and nods. Ready!

She clears her throat and says, her voice projecting to the front two seats where her dad and Kuroo-san are sitting, “How do you know if you like someone?”

“Umm—” Kuroo-san’s eyes meet hers in the rearview mirror then suspiciously glance over at Aki. “Is there something you guys wanted to—”

“Papa!” He immediately protests in the seat next to her, his feet swinging. “It’s not us!

“Kuroo-san! No!”

Her dad snorts into his sleeves as Kuroo-san smiles apologetically.

“Sorry. Sorry. I should not have assumed.”

Her dad turns to face her, eyes boring into hers questioningly. “Why are you guys asking this then?”

“A friend in class.” They’ve rehearsed this. This should work.  

“Yes!” Aki chimes in to back her up. “A friend. He talks about someone all the time. Like every day!”

“Well, that’s possible.” Kuroo-san says slowly. He keeps his eyes back on the road now.

“And what if he always smiles when he does it? It means something, right?” Emi adds.

“That can be a friendly smile, you know.” This is her dad. Which is ironic because he hardly ever smiles, even when he really likes something—with one huge exception.

She grins. “What if he likes looking at their pictures?”

“Their pictures?” He narrows his eyes at her. “Where did he get someone’s pictures?”

Oh, no. Too close!

“Yearbook pictures!” Emi says quickly, hoping her tone doesn’t give her away.

Luckily, her dad bought this. “Oh. Well, I suppose that is more of an interest than a regular friend.”

She sees Kuroo-san nod his agreement.

“Yeah! And he definitely smiles when he looks at the pictures. Like a lot.”

“Sounds like your friend has a crush.” Kuroo-san muses from the driver seat.

“Wow! That’s so great!” Aki grins at her, sharing her excitement.

“Yeah!” But Emi’s still not done. “Now how should my friend confess to his crush?”

“Um. I don’t know if you guys should meddle like that. Things like love take time. When he’s ready, he will.” Kuroo-san says, way too sensible.

Emi turns to her dad. “Daddy, if you like someone, how long would it take for you to confess?”

“Umm—” She’s never seen her dad lost for words before. Maybe there are things even he doesn’t know.

Aki pesters his dad next. “Papa, you would confess right? You always tell me to be brave and say what’s on my mind!”

“Right. I do say that to you.” His voice sounds strange, at a higher pitch than usual.

Her dad cuts in quickly, though. “But Kuroo-san is right. You can’t force something like that. It has to happen naturally.”

“Hmm. Okay.” Emi sinks back into her seat. She doesn’t understand why some people can’t say how they feel. Isn’t that a good thing to tell someone you like them?

“I guess, we’ll be patient.” Aki says, too.

The car falls back into silence, but the kids share a knowing look behind their parents’ backs.

They definitely like each other. Emi gives him a thumbs-up, feeling accomplished in her mission.

Definitely! Aki nods at her, fully agreeing.

In between their exchange, they miss Kenma and Kuroo’s own silent conversation happening in their front seats, their matching smiles and blushing cheeks, their own eyes communicating what words can’t.

Bonus bonus:

Suga hears the front door open and close, Daichi’s voice announcing his presence carrying from the genkan into the kitchen where he’s preparing dinner.

“Welcome home.” He grins at his husband. “How were the kids?”

“They had fun!” Daichi says behind him. And then, in a sweet voice he says, “How’s my baby?”

Oh, they’re back to the pet names now?

“I’m good?” Suga turns to see his husband reach for their son on his highchair, his confused expression adorable given that he still has his uniform on. “Oh, you’re talking to Benji.”

“By the way,” Daichi says as he holds Benji in his arms, kissing his cheeks as Benji babbles and laughs at the tickle from his stubble, “They’re totally going to kiss tonight.”

“Who?”

“Kuroo and Kozume-san.” He rolls his eyes as if this was obvious.

“Ohh.” Suga laughs. He waves his hand. “No way. Kuroo’s not that forward. With the kids around? He wouldn’t.” Though he so would like to. He was practically vibrating when Kenma was walking away earlier.

“Loser does laundry for a month?” Daichi wiggles his brows.

Suga can only smile back, challenging. “You’re on.”

Chapter Text

Looking at Kuroo’s surprised face, his warm honey eyes round and blinking, his lips shaped into a soft O, already twisting into a smile, Kenma can’t help but think that he’s just as adorable as he is handsome. Then, the confusion settles in.

“Were you not expecting us?” He tilts his head. “Emi said she’s supposed to be studying with Aki today.”

Kuroo gives him a crooked smile. “Aki’s at club volleyball practice.”

Kenma looks down at his daughter, who’s grinning like she’s just won a prize. She laughs nervously, her voice that higher pitch when she’s trying hard to hide something from him, “Oops? I must have remembered the wrong date.” Kenma narrows his eyes at her, but she’s avoiding his gaze now, looking at Kuroo for permission to enter his apartment. “Since we’re here anyways, I think I’m going to do my homework while I wait for Aki to come back. Why don’t you guys hang out? Please excuse my intrusion!”

Kuroo does motion for her to come in, his shoulders shaking with laughter.

Kenma, on the other hand, is mortified. He wants to hide his face in his hands. Have they been that obvious?

“Oh god.” He groans.

Kuroo doesn’t look like he minds one bit, even amused. “Where did she learn how to meddle like that?”

“I have no idea. I’m sorry.” Kenma sighs, smiling apologetically. “You clearly weren’t expecting us. I can tell her we have to go.”

Kuroo grabs his wrist then, gently pulling him into the apartment. “No, it’s alright. I was just cleaning the house.” He tilts his head back at him, grinning. “I guess we can “hang out”?”

Kenma rolls his eyes. “Don’t say that like it’s a euphemism for something.”

“I’m not.”

“Okay.”

They’re still kind of holding hands. Kenma doesn’t want him to let go, but he doesn’t want Emi to see either. She can’t get any more ideas. He reluctantly let go from his hold to untie his shoes.

“Actually, I was planning to bake some cookies.” Kuroo says as Kenma slips into the house slippers. “Want to help?”

Kenma doesn’t know the last time he’s ever tried to bake anything. “Um, I don’t know how much help I’ll be, but I’ll try.”

Regardless of his attempt, moving around in Kuroo’s kitchen today, all Kenma really accomplishes is feeling the occasional brushes of contact with Kuroo’s body against his, seeing the way his hands move so effortlessly and wondering when he can feel those hands on him again.

“You’re not allowed to help anymore.” Kuroo mumbles as they finally slide the tray into the oven.

“Why?”

“Too distracting. I almost mixed up my sugar and salt.”

Kenma laughs. So, it’s not just him who’s thinking about inappropriate things when the other is covered in flour. They haven’t kissed again since they returned from their trip, but it feels like something is different. Their late-night conversations have dragged on and on. Sometimes, Kenma’s phone is dead in the morning because he’s fallen asleep and forgotten to charge it.

Is this what he wants? Is it really okay?

Emi seems like she likes Kuroo and his son, but she’s also a child. Kenma is supposed to be the adult, the responsible one here. He can’t do anything that might derail her life, anything that might hurt her.

But Kuroo…there is nothing but goodness from him, nothing but the feeling that Kenma will be safe as long as he’s around. Kenma has long forgotten how it feels to want something for himself, but all Kuroo does is make him want and want.

“Wow! Cookies!” Emi exclaims as she walks into the kitchen, her nose in the air like a hungry mouse following the scent of food. “They smell so good!”

“Want to lick the spoon before I wash it?” Kuroo holds up the spatula, wiggling his brows.

“Yes! Of course!” Emi bounces over, her ponytail swinging excitedly in the air.

Like the chocolate in the oven, Kenma feels his heart melting at the sight of them, his favorite person in the world and someone who is becoming increasingly irreplaceable in his life. Kuroo catches him staring and smiles.

Kenma’s thought that he’s only allowed one great love, but maybe he’s lucky enough to have more than that.

~

After the cookies, the Kozumes make their way home, but Kuroo can tell that his son is still too antsy to wind down for bed.

“Want to pass the ball around together downstairs? I don’t want my moves to get rusty.” Kuroo smiles. He’s taught Aki the basics right here in the courtyard behind their apartment complex. He sees him there practicing alone because he’s just that much into volleyball.

So of course, Aki is much too eager to say yes.

It makes Kuroo happy to know that there’s something his son is passionate about, happier to know that he’s able to share that joy with him.

It’s nice, too, for Kuroo to feel the pressure of the ball against his arms. He’s missed this feeling, this ache.

“Emi said we can be twins.” Aki says suddenly.

It almost makes Kuroo miss the ball, but he recovers enough to send it back. “Huh?”

“If you and Kozume-san like each other.” The way he says it is so casual, but Kuroo knows his kid well enough to know that he’s been thinking about this for a while. It seems that the strange conversation on their way home from Sendai wasn’t “nothing” after all. Kuroo wants to laugh now at their ridiculous story about their “classmate”. Still, he doesn’t fully understand what Aki’s saying now about twins.

“Oh. Well, um—not twins exactly. If—and this is a huge if—we get married, you guys would be siblings. But not twins.” Kuroo’s heart is racing now at the thought of being married again, married to Kenma, but that is getting way ahead of himself.

Aki nods. Then, he chews on his lips. He sends the ball back in a perfect set. “So are paternal twins real?”

“No. There are fraternal twins, but you have to be born like that. It’s when you share the same womb but not the exact identical genetics.”

“I knew it!” He grins. “I knew there was no way we’d be twins. I’m older.”

Kuroo laughs. He catches the ball in his hands. Aki looks startled, but he’s breathing fast, seemingly grateful for the break.

“Is it really okay with you? If Kozume-san and I get closer?” Kuroo knows how hard it was on him when his mother left, even if he tried not to show it for Kuroo’s sake. He doesn’t want a repeat of that. And he doesn’t want it to feel like his mother is being replaced.

“Yeah.” Aki nods. “He’s so nice, and I think he makes you happy. You always tell me to go after the things that make me happy.”

It softens his heart to hear his son echoing those words back to him. Kuroo walks over and wraps an arm around his shoulders.

“You know that won’t change anything between us. You’re still the most important person in my life.”

“I know that.” Then, his voice lowers. “Somethings will change though, but changes are good. You told me that when I moved to this school. That was the best change ever.” His brown eyes are shining when they look up at Kuroo. It strikes him then that he’s so much taller than he remembers, the distance between their eyes growing closer and closer. One day, he’ll probably surpass his height.

Sometimes I wish they’d stay young forever.

Kuroo feels his chest swell and he really doesn’t want to cry now. He squeezes Aki tight and ruffles his black hair. “So, you do listen to me more than you let on. This just means I need to nag you more.” He hums. “Let’s see, brussels sprouts is good. Omega 3 fatty acids are essential to development. Sleep makes you grow taller—”

“Ugh, papa nooo.” Aki begins to whine, then he laughs as he tries to get out of Kuroo’s hold on him.

Their laughter fills the empty courtyard, a chorus of cicadas joining in.

Changes are good, huh? Kuroo thinks as they make their way back inside. He feels like Aki’s been happier too, walking faster with his shoulders up higher. A text buzzes in his pocket and his lips pull into smile without even having to see it. Yeah. For you and me both.

~

“Big game today, Emi.” Kenma smiles down at his daughter by his side, nudging her hand that’s held in his. “Your first of this season. You’re feeling ready?”

“Yeah!” She nods confidently, giving him a bright smile in return. “I’m glad you’re coming, daddy. I’m going to score so many goals today!”

“I’m looking forward to it.” It’s always impressive to see her zoom around on the field, sometimes he feels like he’d miss her if he blinks. Okay, maybe that’s an exaggeration, but she’s pretty fast.

“And Aki can see how fun football really is. Kuroo-san too!”

That’s right. She’s invited the Kuroo’s to her game. Kenma will pretend that he did not put a tiny bit more effort into his appearance knowing that Kuroo will be there. It’s nothing fancy, but he did use his nice cologne. For a football game. Now he’s embarrassed. Maybe he should run around beforehand, so the scent dissipates—he shakes his head, trying get out of his head.

“It’s great that they can make it. We’ll have to go support Aki too when it’s his turn.”

“Of course. He says he’d get embarrassed if we cheer for him though.”

“Would that really stop you?”

She grins mischievously. “Nah.”

Speaking of which, Kenma’s never talked to her about her pushing Kuroo and him together. Kuroo says he’s talked to Aki, so now it’s his turn. God, why does this remind him of coming out to his parents? And then telling them that he got a girl pregnant but he’s not going to marry her?

At least this time, he’s positive that he’ll get a good reaction. Mostly.

“Listen,” Kenma stops walking to bend down and met his daughter at her eye-level. “I know you and Aki spend a lot of time together. How would you feel if Kuroo-san and I spend more time together, too?”

Her gold eyes mirror his. Her voice has no hint of pause or hesitation when she asks, “Do you like him?”

God, she’s blunt. She probably gets it from him, but this is about feelings. He’s both impressed and shocked at how he’s managed to raise such a brave girl. Still, he should be honest with her back. He’s vowed to always do so with Emi.

“Yes.”

“I knew it!” She throws her hands up in the air. Emi grins at him, her eyes shining. “It’s okay, daddy. Kuroo-san is soooo kind. And he’s such a good cook. He makes you laugh so much when you’re together. Even more than Uncle Shouyou!”

Kenma’s surprised at the things she’s picked up. He himself isn’t aware of the fact that Kuroo makes him laugh so much.  

“But you know I love you most in the entire world, right?”

“Of course, I know, daddy.” She throws her arms around his shoulders, her braids tickling his cheek. “I love you most too.”

~

The game is outdoors, and thankfully, there’s a nice breeze, so Kenma doesn’t feel like he’s going to die under this heat. By the time halftime comes though, his throat feels dry and parched.

As though reading his mind, Kuroo stands up from his seat and motions towards the vending machine near the building, “I’m going to get some drinks. Aki, do you want something?”

“Apple juice, please,” says Aki from his spot next to Kenma. His tank top keeps him cool, but there are sweats collecting at the backs of his shirt.

“You?” Kuroo arches his brows at Kenma.

“Some iced coffee if they have it. Or tea. Whatever is cold.” Kenma tries not to sound desperate, but he’s sure it’s shown all over his face.

Kuroo smiles knowingly and jogs away. “Aye, aye, captain.”

“My papa likes you.” Aki says suddenly when Kuroo’s out of earshot.

“Oh?” Kenma blinks, not expecting this at all.

Aki nods. “He tells me all the time. Oh, wait.” He furrows his brows together. “I don’t think I’m supposed to tell you that.”

Kenma chuckles, patting his head. “Well, that’s alright. I won’t tell him.” It makes him feel nice inside knowing that Kuroo doesn’t hide his affection for him very well either. He feels less crazy about his feelings for him.

“Okay. Thank you.” Aki looks up at him. Kenma remembers the shy kid who’s in tears when they first met, how different he looks now. “You’re very nice.”

“Thank you.” And he adds, “I like your papa too. I’ll try to take care of him.”

“My mommy isn’t going to come back. Papa was very sad about it. He used to call her every night. I don’t think she ever answered.” His heart aches for him. For them both. “That’s why I always try to be good, so he never has to be sad about me too.”

“That’s thoughtful of you, but it’s okay for you to be a kid. No one is perfect and we all make mistakes. That’s how we learn to be better. I bet he doesn’t want you to put so much pressure on yourself.” Does Kuroo know how often Aki thinks about this? Kenma feels honored that Aki’s shared this with him. He’ll have to do his best to protect him too from now on.

“Yeah, but I think Papa’s happier now,” he says this with confidence. He pauses before going on. “Sometimes, I miss my mama, but I love my papa. I don’t want him to be sad anymore.”

Kenma regards him for a minute, taking in his words. Finally, he says, “You’re very bright for a kid, you know that?”

“My papa tells me that too.” Aki smiles at this, any trace of his earlier melancholy gone from his face.

When Kuro comes back with their drinks, they’ve moved on to happier, easier topics. Aki is also surprisingly smart when it comes to volleyball. Kenma’s never seen him play, but the kid’s got a got grasp of the game for someone his age. If he wants to go pro, Kenma’s sure it isn’t out of the question.

The game concludes with Emi scoring the final goal with twenty seconds to spare, securing their team’s victory at 2-1. She flashes a grin at them on the stands, holding up two fingers, her face flushing red as she catches her breath.

Kenma’s always been on the sidelines cheering her on, but today, with two more loud, ecstatic voices joining in next to him, he can tell that her face is brighter than ever, even as she’s surrounded by her team sweeping her away. He’s always been afraid of change, never been good at it, but he finds that it’s easier this time. He’s almost excited at how much his world will change and grow, what other sorts of joy await them.

~

Kuroo and Aki follow Kenma home as Aki wants to spend the night here. He’s warned him that Emi’s usually very hyper after a game, but he seems to be taking it in stride, promising that he won’t let her pressure him into staying up all night. Still, Kenma’s mentally preparing for a very tired pair of kids the next morning when they can’t get up before noon. At least it’s not a school night.

When the two of them are already up the stairs, the door to Emi’s bedroom slamming loudly above, Kenma sees that Kuroo is still lingering at the door. His heart begins to pound as he makes his way over.

Can they really do this now? Not that they needed permission before—

Kuroo takes his hand, squeezing it gently. “Hi.”

“Wish me luck.” Kenma smiles, motioning with his head towards the upstairs.

Kuroo laughs. Then he says, “I’ll do you one better.”

Before Kenma can ask him what he means, Kuroo’s lips meet his. God, he’s missed him so much, even though they see and talk to each other all the time. He’s missed this. The touch of his lips, the softness of his tongue, the sweetness in the way he tastes him.

“Call you later?” Kuroo smiles when they finally break away, his eyes as dazed as Kenma feels inside.

“Mhm.” But Kuroo’s still looking at him, not saying anything for a long time, a strange look on his face. “What?”

Kuroo just shrugs, bringing up a hand to cup and caress his cheek. His voice is just a notch above a whisper when he says, “I was just thinking I could get used to this.”

Kenma doesn’t know what else to say. He can only hear his heart thundering inside his chest, not any coherent thought to be found running through his mind.

“Me too,” he says, even though he knows it might not even be true. Get used to this? He suspects he never will. He suspects his stomach will always flutter when Kuroo smiles at him and warm when they touch. He suspects his heart will always pound endlessly when Kuroo kisses him and still to a steady rhythm when they’re lying close.

There’s a strong, strong possibility that Kenma will love him even more with every passing moment, that this feeling inside of him is not even a fraction of what he would feel for Kuroo in this lifetime. But he’ll keep that to himself. For now.

~

Every few months, Kenma sends Emi to his parents for the weekend so they can have some time with her. Usually, this means that he’ll put on an event for his viewers, having more time to do a longer stream and getting proper rest afterwards. This time, however, when Emi begs Aki to come along with her, Kenma meets Kuroo’s eyes across the room. He’s not thinking about work. His stomach is hot and burning, his eyes reflecting the same desire in Kuroo’s own.

How long has it been? Too long.

When Kuroo shows up at his door later, looking more handsome than he’s ever had with his stupidly messy hair and white button-up shirt, the top buttons undone, Kenma almost presses him against his front door and does everything he’s been dreaming of.

But the night is still young, and they have all the time in the world now. He’ll be patient.

“The whole weekend all to ourselves.” Kenma says, looking up at him through his lashes. He revels in the way Kuroo’s pupils dilate as he scans his face. “What should we do first?”

“Dinner? I have a place in mind.”

Kenma looks down at his casual clothes, frowning a bit. “Do I have to dress nice?”

Kuroo laughs, holding out his hand for him. “Not in the slightest.”

“Perfect.”

It’s not fair how nice his hand fits in his, how warm Kuroo feels right by his side. Already, Kenma doesn’t want this to end.

~

Kuroo’s imagined his first date with Kenma many, many times in his head, sketched endless scenarios where they end up tangled together. Yet, the real thing is even better. Having Kenma across from him, seeing his every expression as he riles him up and teases him in the same breath, their feet touching underneath the table, it’s almost too much for his heart.

Kuroo takes Kenma to one of his favorite ramen restaurants by his old house. He figures Kenma isn’t one for fancy dinners and crowded places, so he opts for something simple but nice, an old familiar favorite.

“Oh man, that was so good.” Kuroo glances at Kenma beside him. “Can we walk around for a bit?”

“Sure.”

It’s been a while since he’s been here, but it’s as though he’s never left. He feels the need to trace back his old steps, or maybe his body is just so in tune with this place that he can’t help but end up exactly where he’s always been.

“Ah.” Kuroo stops when he sees that they’ve reached the park. It hasn’t changed one bit—the sloping hill of the grass and the mossy concrete steps. The dark water of the river shines with the reflection of the moonlight like tiny drops of diamonds. “I used to come here a lot as a kid to practice volleyball.” He points towards the divot near the riverbend. “One time, I chased a ball down there and got mud all over myself.”

Kenma chuckles to himself, no doubt already picturing in his mind how it happened. “I wish I could’ve seen that.”

Kuroo arches his brows at him. “You would’ve laughed at me then like how you’re doing now.”

Kenma rolls his eyes. “Please, like you wouldn’t have pulled me in with you and got us both dirty. And with my luck, I would’ve sprained my ankle trying to get up.”

Kuroo can see it too, this version of them that clearly cannot exist but so, so tangible he can swear it’s real.

“But I would’ve carried you home.” He finds himself saying, believing.

“Yeah.” Kenma’s voice is soft now. Kuroo turns to look at him, seeing the sparkles in his eyes, the way his pretty hair frames his delicate cheeks as he tilts his head. “So, that’s ten-year-old you, what would thirty-one-year-old you do?”

His heart pounds and pounds and pounds. But the answer is obvious.

“Easy.” Kuroo grins, reaching out to cup Kenma’s face with his hands. “This.”

Kenma’s lips are so soft and so sure, pressing against his with impatience. He feels his tongue gliding into the roof of his mouth, dragging out a low moan too loud to be appropriate for this public space they’re in. Kuroo’s head is spinning. He’s so dizzy with want he’s afraid he might just let Kenma do whatever he wishes with him right here, right now.

Kenma breaks away first, breathing heavily as he says, his voice hoarse, “Let’s go back.”

Kuroo nods, barely able to speak himself. “My place or yours?”

“Yours is closer.”

Kuroo grins. “Have I ever told you how smart you are?”

“Flatterer.” Kenma rolls his eyes, though his cheeks are pink. It’s probably the sake from earlier. And the night wind. But maybe Kuroo can take credit for it too.

“As long as it’s working.” Kuroo sounds too smug for his own good, but Kenma doesn’t say anything more. Their steps are quiet and hurried, feeding their urgency into the night.

~

Even though his heart is beating loudly inside his chest, Kuroo feels as though he might not be alive after all. This can’t be real. This can’t be the same lifetime he’s been living in.

He stares at Kenma and his pretty hair fanning across his pillows, his cheeks pink and sweaty, his lips swollen from kisses. He scans Kenma’s fair skin, seeing the blotches of red and marks he’s left trying to memorize every piece of his body so he will never lose his way.

Kenma’s eyelashes flutter as he looks back at him. His gold eyes are shining with traces of tears in the corner. Kuroo wishes he was a painter so that he can immortalize this image of Kenma forever on a canvas. Maybe they’ll just have to do this more and more so he’ll never have to see it in his memories alone.

“What?” Kenma says after a minute of Kuroo not saying anything.

What is there to say? “You look beautiful.”

He rolls his eyes, but he scoots closer so that their bodies are touching again. “You already have me in your bed. No need to sweet talk me anymore.”

Kuroo uses this opportunity to press more kisses into his face, soft and entirely self-indulgent. “But it’s true. You’re the most beautiful man—no, person I’ve ever met.”

“You’re such a sap.” Kenma chuckles as he tries to wiggle out of his grip when Kuroo’s stubble tickles his chin. “I should’ve known before I fell in love with you.” They both still. “Oh—shit.”

Kuroo pushes up to his elbows to look at him better, the blurry edges of his face coming into focus.  

“You’re in love with me?”

Kenma turns his head and mumbles, “Can you pretend you didn’t hear that?”

He’s so so adorable when he’s embarrassed. It just makes Kuroo want him more.

He grins, forcing Kenma to look at him again. “Nope. Not a chance. World-famous Kodzuken is in love with me!” He nuzzles his face back into the crook of his neck, feeling his chest swell and his whole body vibrating with a feeling he can only describe as pure joy.

“Shut up! I take it back! I regret it all!” But Kenma is laughing, too, and the sound is as addictive as any drug.

Kuroo returns his lips to Kenma’s and tastes the words on his tongue. He feels his hands at the back of his neck, griping at his hair to pull him down and closer. Kuroo’s ready to go again, but he needs to do something first before he forgets, before Kenma makes him lose all sense of reality.

He pulls away, just long enough to say, “I love you too,” and see the blush on Kenma’s cheeks.

Then they crash into one another, again and again.

~

Kuroo takes on Kenma’s offer to visit his parents with him, collecting the kids from their weekend away. It feels so permanent and real to be going to Kenma’s childhood home to pick up their kids together. He feels the shapes of their families morphing and forming into one, something he hasn’t dared to hope for after his last attempt fell apart.

Kuroo’s still scared, but he’s much, much more excited to try. After all, Kenma feels like the one he’s been looking for all his life, even if he isn’t aware of it. Kenma’s always been there, right on the edge of his periphery, waiting for something—or two someone’s—to push them together.

“Ready to go?” Kenma smiles at him, that tiny smile that’s captured his heart so many moons ago.

“Yeah.” Kuroo takes his outstretched hand and interlocks their fingers together, feeling warm and good and right.

He is ready. One more time. This time, with feelings.

Bonus:

Emi feels her stomach rumbling the moment she opens her eyes. She sneaks a peak at the floor to see that Aki is still in deep sleep in his futon. At this hour, her dad is probably still asleep, but maybe…

She carefully tiptoes out of her room, making sure not to slam the door. She pads her way across the hall toward her dad’s room.

After two soft knocks, she hears ruffling and footsteps coming closer.

Kuroo-san’s face smiles down at her behind the door, his hair even messier at this time of day. He whispers, “Good morning.”

She was right. She knew he would be awake.  

“Good morning, Kuroo-san.” She tugs at his pajama pants. “I’m hungry. Will you help me make pancakes? I’m not tall enough to reach the ingredients in the pantry.”

“Of course!” With one backward glance inside the bedroom, Kuroo-san gently closes the door and follows Emi downstairs.

“Daddy likes to sleep in on the weekends.”

She hears him chuckling behind her. “He’s not a morning person, is he?”

“Not at all.” She agrees. “But he always makes sure to get up when I need breakfast before school or matches, and he packs my bentos every day. He’s the best.”

She feels his hand on her head, petting her hair. It’s much larger than her dad’s but warm just the same.

“He is.”

“I’m glad you’re here too because then he can sleep in a bit more.” Kuroo-san and Aki have been spending a lot of time here at their place. She loves it. It’s like they’re always having a sleepover. Her dad is already talking about cleaning the spare room so Aki can have a proper bed for himself. She wonders where Kuroo-san’s going to sleep. Maybe because her dad’s bed is big enough that they can share every night.

“Glad I can help.” Kuroo grins. He’s already so cheerful in the morning. He glances around, whistling impressively as Emi’s setting up the ingredients quickly. “Seems like you don’t even need my help though. You’re good at that.”

Emi helps out with cooking a lot since her dad isn’t so fond of it. She enjoys the steps of it, how one thing follows the other until you get the finished meal. She still jumps when the oil splashes in the pan, though.

“Daddy says I’m good at a lot of things.”

“You sure are.” Kuroo-san laughs again, amused. He has a funny, loud laugh. Her dad always looks happy when he hears it.

They get to work mixing the batter together. When the pan gets hot enough for the cooking to begin, they hear footsteps descending the stairs.

“Morning.” Aki says through a yawn, his hands rubbing sleep from his eyes.

“Hi Aki!” Emi greets him, her eyes stray from the pan for a split second, making the circle turn into an oval.

“Let me fix it.” Kuroo-san says easily. He scoops another spoon of batter to correct the other side, morphing it into a heart. “There!”

“Wow! Yay!” Maybe she can convince him to make pancake arts, like the ones she sees online and in the fancy restaurants. Her dad tried it once, but he accidentally burned the whole thing.

A few minutes later, her dad comes downstairs too, blinking sleepily at the three of them.

“Morning.”

“Hi daddy!” She waves at him. “Look what Kuroo-san made!” Emi points at the piles of heart-shaped pancakes on the table. Some of them have a smiley-face made out of blueberries.

“Impressive.” He smiles.

Emi brings the plate of pancakes to the table while Aki helps her set the plates. They both sit down first after everything is ready. Emi’s just about to rush her dad over when she looks back to see that they’re sharing a kiss in the kitchen.

“Eww.” She whines. They’ve been doing that a lot now, kissing when they think the kids aren’t watching. Sometimes, they’re not too good at it.  

“Papa! I’m trying to eat!” Aki whines too.

“My eyes! my eyes!” Emi cries. She and Aki share a knowing, pleased look. It’s just fun for them to complain, but they truly love that their parents are happy together. Even if they’re gross about it.

“Shh. Don’t look then because I’m about to do it again,” Kuroo-san teases, smirking.

Emi rolls her eyes, but she turns around anyways. She sees her dad with a smile and a blush on his cheeks, so entirely different than his normal early-morning persona. She swings her legs underneath the table and bites into her pancakes.

What a good way to start the day.

Bonus bonus:

Aki sees her white triangle ears poke out from behind the bushes, and he almost leaps with joy. He tugs at Emi’s backpack straps to get her attention.

“You want to meet Mochi?”

“Mochi?” She tilts her head, not understanding.

He nods, pointing towards the side of the road. “The cat I’ve been feeding. I was worried she got lost because I haven’t seen her in a while but she’s back.” He fishes out the bag of treats he has hidden inside his school backpack for this very occasion.

“Oh! Yes!” Her eyes light up as she follows him.

Mochi’s round, white face appears but when she catches sight of Emi, she shrinks back into the bushes.

“She doesn’t like me.” Emi frowns, leaning down and trying to get her attention by cooing at her.  

“She’s just skittish.” Aki points out. He gives her a few treats to hold in her hand. “Just keep your hand still.” He shakes the bag again to get her attention.

Mochi can never resist free food, so her pink nostril pokes out again, twitching. She reluctantly emerges from the bushes, her blue eyes scanning the two of them with curiosity.

Neither of them moves. Aki’s sure Emi’s not even breathing.

Finally, Mochi moves close enough to lick the treats from Emi’s hands, biting them hungrily. When she sees that there are nothing else in her palm, she pushes her forehead in it instead, asking for attention.

“Ahh. Yay!” Emi squeals, careful not to make any sudden movement. Her hand caresses her fur. Aki joins in, too, enjoying how soft she always feels despite the fact that she’s never seen indoors. “She’s so cute.”

“Yeah, I wish we could take her home.” He sighs. It always makes him feel sad to see her run away and come back with dirt on her beautiful white coat. She doesn’t like to be held, though, so there’s no way they could carry her all the way home even if their parents approve.

“We should!!” Emi says excitedly. Her gold eyes have that mischievous glint in them now.

“No, we can’t!” He reminds her. “Our dads will kill us.”

“Not if they don’t find out.” She grins, her hands still petting Mochi, who’s starting to purr and roll on the ground from all the attention she’s getting.  

“How are we going to sneak her in?”

She meows loudly at this, forcing them to look at her. Her blue eyes blink as though worried. Aki likes to think he can communicate with her given how much they’ve interacted.

“See? She agrees with me.”

“We just need a plan. My house is big. I’m sure daddy won’t notice.”

While that might be true—“Doesn’t he work from home?”

“Yeah but he wears these giant headphones.” She motions two round shapes around her ears.

“You’re not serious.” He rolls his eyes. It’s just like her to do things before thinking them through.

“Come on, don’t you want a cat?” She pouts, jutting out her lower lips.

“Well, yeah.” Aki looks down at Mochi again. It might not even be her real name. He just starts calling her that in his head because he first found her in a Mochi cardboard box.  

“Then let’s think!”

“I feel like what you’re doing is the opposite of thinking.” He feels the need to point out.

“That’s what makes life fun.”

“That’s what gets you in trouble.”

“And you’ll get me out of it.” Emi says this like it’s a fact. She turns her attention to Mochi, cooing at her again. “Isn’t that right, Mochi? You want to come live with us, don’t you?”

She lets out another meow this time, tugging on both of their heartstrings.

One look at Emi’s face and Aki knows where this is going to go. Ever since they met, his life has been nothing short of unpredictable, but none of it has been bad.

“Alright,” he says finally, sharing a smile with Emi, “But we have to make sure everything is ready before she comes home.”

Emi whoops and cheers. They both promise to be back for her when she races off into the alley.

They continue their walk to school, all the while scheming how to get Mochi home and how long they can keep her hidden until their parents cave and let them keep her.

Aki stares up at the blue sky above. Even as he loses many things along the way, he feels his world expanding and growing with every day that passes. What will his life look like years from now? He can’t wait to find out.

“Why are you stopping?” Emi calls to him, already so far ahead. “We’re going to be late.”

He hurries after her, voice clear, “I’m coming!”