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Chapter Text

“Do we really have to go out in that?” Peter asked, somewhat stupidly, in Sirius’ opinion. 

“Well, yes, unless you think there’s another way to get to our potion vials? I’m fairly sure that summoning them would rather scupper all the work we’ve put into it. And I don’t know about you, but I really don’t fancy doing that mandrake leaf shit again,” Sirius said bluntly.

“No, but…” Peter hesitated, wringing his hands together, “does it have to be this storm?”

“We’re not going to get one with a light drizzle and a warm summer’s breeze, Pete!”

“I do kind of see where he’s coming from, Sirius,” commented James. “Those clouds look pretty ominous. I’m fairly sure that one just flashed green.”

“You’re both just nervous,” Sirius said.  “Come on! We don’t have time to wait for the next one; the full moon is in five days!”

James looked suspiciously up at the sheets of rain falling from the sky and the roiling clouds above them, and sighed. He pulled off his glasses and tapped them with his wand to cast a water repelling charm. 

“Okay then,” James said, throwing the invisibility cloak over the three of them. “Let’s do this.”

“I knew we should have hidden the vials in the castle,” grumbled Peter.

“And risk someone finding them? No chance! Besides, we couldn’t very well do our first transformation inside; we’ve no idea what we’re going to become yet!”

Peter immediately perked up at being reminded what the ultimate goal of this foray into the great outdoors was. 

“I hope I’m something big!” 

His eyes flashed with excitement as a bolt of lightning lit up the sky. 

“That’s the spirit! Right then, come–” but the last of James’ sentence was drowned out by a deafening crash of thunder and they broke out into a run towards the forest, their feet squelching in the sodden ground. 

Once they reached the edge of the forest, the rain eased under the canopy of the trees; not that that helped the fact that they were already soaked to the skin. James pulled the cloak off, and they made their way to the clearing where they had stored their, now hopefully successful, potions in the hollow of a large dead oak tree. 

“It looks like blood.” Peter wrinkled his nose at the contents of his vial. 

“That means it’s worked!” beamed James, grinning at both of them. “Okay, everyone remember what they’ve got to do?”

They nodded determinedly at each other.

“See you on the other side,” said James, lifting his potion like a toast. 

Sirius took a few steps backwards so that he was now standing in the middle of the clearing, rain lashing at him even harder than it had been before. 

Not that he noticed. He was too busy trying to control the turmoil in his stomach that was a mixture of excitement and nerves. His insides felt a lot like the clouds looked above him, a churning mass falling over itself in chaos. He stilled himself as best he could, put his wand to his chest and spoke the incantation that had burned itself into his mind over the last month from all the times he had repeated it. Finally, he put the vial to his lips. The sky lit up once more with another fork of lightning, so bright it could have been daytime. 

Then the world went black. 

The next thing that Sirius was aware of was that he was lying on the ground, and everything hurt. He lifted his head slowly and looked around, every muscle, bone and joint screaming in protest as he did so. The storm had completely gone, and a crescent moon now hung in the sky. 

The storm.

The transformation. 

He pushed himself up onto his knees, looking around wildly for the blood red potion. His wand was there, thank fuck, but his stomach dropped as he came to the crushing conclusion that there was nothing else. 

“Guys?” croaked Sirius. It sounded like he hadn’t used his voice in years. 

But James and Peter were nowhere to be seen. Had they managed? Were they galloping through the forest as he sat there – still very much a human? Why hadn’t he managed it? Surely if Peter had been successful… 

He punched the ground in frustration, and his knuckles crunched on impact. Wait, it had been raining; how was the ground so hard?

“James?” shouted Sirius into the black shadows of the trees beyond his clearing. “ . . . Pete?”

But there was no response. 

Sirius shivered; he wasn’t soaked through anymore, but it was still freezing. There was no point waiting out here for them.

He stomped back through the trees, confused and angry about what had happened, going through all the steps in his head, repeating the incantation again - he was sure he had done everything right. Branches swiped at his face as he walked. Without all the excitement, the path felt much more overgrown than it had done all the other times they’d travelled it while getting everything ready. 

When he finally got to the edge of the forest, he looked out across the lawn that stood between him and the door to the castle. Without James’ cloak there was no option but to make a run for it and hope no one was looking out a window. His eyes swept the area once more to check the coast was clear and caught on the Whomping Willow. 

When had it got so big?

He went as fast as he could across the open space, but all his joints were stiff and achy. He felt at odds with his body, like he didn’t quite fit in it. Eventually he made it to the castle and slipped inside.

He had managed to get as far as the first floor without any obstacles when he heard boots walking along the stone floor and voices talking in a low murmur. 

“And all this stuff with the Dementors…” 

Sirius recognized McGonagall's voice and scrambled to hide behind a tapestry. 

“It’s playing havoc with all the students. As though teenage hormones weren’t enough to contend with,” she continued. 

“You’re preaching to the converted, Minerva,” said a voice that seemed strangely familiar. “I’ve started keeping a supply of chocolate on me at all times, just to be on the safe side.”

“Remus –” McGonagall said kindly. 

REMUS?

What?!

“- You and I both know that you have an insatiably sweet tooth and have always carried chocolate on you at all times.”

Remus did have an almost weird obsession with chocolate. 

Sirius moved the tapestry hiding him from view a fraction to peek out at the pair. They had stopped at the top of the staircase Sirius had climbed just a moment ago and were standing only a metre or so from him. 

It was McGonagall, but she looked different to when Sirius had seen her at dinner that evening, like she had aged several years. There were more lines around her eyes; her hair was no longer jet black. She looked tired.

Sirius couldn’t see the man she was talking to, Remus; he was tall with sandy hair, but he was also clearly an adult. 

Sirius marveled briefly at the idea of there being two Remuses in the world. Until this Remus let his hand fall to his side, so that a large scar- pale in contrast to the rest of his skin- reflected in the moonlight. 

Sirius shoved his fist in his mouth to stop himself shouting out in surprise. 

It wasn’t straight like most of Remus’ scars; instead it bent twice, so it looked like an ‘S’. Sirius had teased Remus about the fact that even the wolf was so mad about him that it had carved his first initial somewhere Remus would always see it.

“Okay, yes, you might have a point. But now at least I have an excuse for it. Anyway, it looks like the coast is clear for now. Severus will be doing another round with Filius in an hour or so, so I think it’s time to head to bed. Goodnight, Minerva.”

“Goodnight.”

Sirius watched as they parted ways, staring bug-eyed at Remus’ retreating form, resisting the urge to run after him and demand to know what the bloody fuck was going on. 

His heart and brain were racing. It was as though time had skipped forwards.

The dry ground, the Whomping Willow, McGonagall, Remus. 

Sirius burst out from his hiding place and ran to the nearest portrait, in which two wizards were sat playing chess. 

“What’s the date?” he demanded breathlessly. 

“I’m sorry?” said one of the wizards with a frown. 

“The date? What date is it?” Sirius asked again.

“I’ve no idea, haven’t kept track of time for a hundred years,” replied the wizard disdainfully. “What are you doing out of bed, anyway? It’s not safe to be out at this hour, not with that prisoner on the loose.”

“I believe there’s a calendar in Professor Vector’s classroom down the hall if you’re really desperate to know,” the other wizard added without looking up from the chessboard. He directed his knight across the board. “Check. Your go.”

“Who’s Professor Vector?” Sirius asked, confused again. 

“The Arithmancy professor! Are you okay, boy? Have you taken a Confundus to the head?”

“I –” Sirius was about to say no, he was fine thank you very much, but he wasn’t so sure. Wasn’t the Arithmancy professor Professor Calkus?

The inhabitants of the painting had become engrossed in their game of chess again, so Sirius dashed to the door that he hoped was still the Arithmancy classroom. He’d given up worrying about being discovered. 

He barged through the unlocked classroom door, his eyes scanning the walls until they landed on the promised calendar. 

March 1994. 

... 1994?!

Sirius stared at the calendar blankly. The confirmation of his suspicions did not make him feel any better. If anything, it made it worse. He had jumped nineteen years into the future! That had been Remus, his Remus! He was a Professor. Sirius supposed that at least that made sense. 

He crumpled slowly to the floor until he was sat, cross legged with his head in his hands. 

What the fuck was he supposed to do now? 

His mind was a jumble of hows and whats and whys. Every time he tried to catch hold of one train of thought, they all slipped through his fingers like insubstantial wisps. Eventually, he bellowed in frustration, angry tears spilling onto his cheeks. 

A clock somewhere in the room chimed three times. 

You're tired. 

The thought came to him in Remus’ concerned voice. It was soothing. It was right, too, and he still ached all over. It was late. He needed to sleep. Things were always better after sleep. 

But where? Gryffindor tower was out. They were bound to have changed the password, not to mention that, presumably, he didn’t have a bed there anymore.

What had everyone thought when he had disappeared? Had Peter and James disappeared too? Were they here? Were they in another time? 

The number of questions threatened to overwhelm him again. Sleep. He needed sleep. He looked around the classroom; it did not look comfortable. Not to mention he would have to explain to whoever Professor Vector was in the morning who he was and what he was doing there. 

Didn’t Flitwick keep a bunch of pillows somewhere for practicing charms with? He could take them somewhere discreet; at least it would be a bit more comfortable. It was certainly better than sitting on the floor all night. 

He was hurrying up the north staircase, hoping against hope that he didn’t bump into anyone on the way when he did just that. He hadn’t seen them coming; he couldn’t have done. 

“Ouch! Bugger.” 

The voice came from the steps above him, but there was no one there. “Who are you?”

A head appeared, seeming to float in the air a couple of feet above the steps. A mop of untidy dark hair and round glasses; Sirius could have died with relief. 

“JAMES!” shouted Sirius. “Thank fuck you’re here! What happened? Have you seen what year it is? We’ve time travelled, James, fuck knows how but I’m sure of it! I saw McGonagall, and Remus! Remus is a professor. I found a calendar, it’s -” 

The head in front of him stared wide eyed and the words died in Sirius’ throat. 

Wide, green eyes.

“Who are you?” the boy that wasn’t James asked again. 

Another head appeared. Somehow, despite having realised that they weren’t who Sirius hoped to see, he was still surprised that it wasn’t Peter's. 

“You’re wearing Gryffindor robes,” the second boy stated. “But I don’t recognize you.”

He was eyeing Sirius suspiciously, putting him immediately on the defensive. He stood up straighter and lifted his chin.

“Why did you call me James?” asked the dark-haired boy.

“Because you look just like someone I know called James,” said Sirius, still marveling at just how much he looked like his best friend. 

“I take it that’s not your name?” he added, in an attempt to undo some of the feeling of being so much on the back foot. 

“You honestly don’t know who he is?” the other boy waved his hand enthusiastically in front of his friend’s face. “Harry Potter, the boy who lived?”

Sirius fought the urge to sit down, staring at the boy, who was still just a head floating in midair. Nineteen years had passed. He supposed it was entirely possible that James had a son who attended Hogwarts. It would explain the invisibility cloak as well. 

“Is your dad James Potter?” asked Sirius eventually, slowly, almost scared to hear the answer. 

Harry glared at him. Sirius breathed a sigh of relief, assuming he was wrong, but the relief was short lived. 

“He was. Until he died twelve years ago, when I was just one.”

Fuck.

Sirius sat down. 

Harry was thirteen. Which- Sirius did some quick mental arithmetic- meant James had been just twenty when he was born. And twenty-one when he had died. 

Fuck.

James was dead.

“C’mon Harry,” said the other boy, “we don’t know who this weirdo is and, given everything that’s going on at the moment, I don’t think we should trust him. Let's leave him for the professors to find. I’m pretty sure Professor Snape will be along here soon.”

SNAPE! 

Fucking Snivellus had become a professor? 

This future was becoming more depressing by the second. 

“No! Wait, please!” Sirius cried. 

He knew he did not want to be found by Snape. He had a feeling that he did not want to be found by a professor at all; the thought of having to try to explain what had happened… there must be a way to fix it without getting authority figures involved. And if this boy was indeed James’ son, which Sirius had no reason to doubt given the mistaken identity just a few minutes ago, he figured the boy must be at least a little bit trustworthy. 

He also desperately needed to find out what had happened in the nineteen years he had skipped.

The two boys paused, halfway to their feet. 

“Look I can prove that I'm a Gryffindor… err…” Sirius hesitated, trying to think of details about the Gryffindor common room that only someone who was intimately acquainted with it would know. 

“There’s a portrait of Godric Gryffindor wielding his sword above the fireplace.”

“That’s obvious,” Harry dismissed the fact. “I’m willing to bet there’s one of each of the founders in the common rooms.”

“Okay, everyone’s favourite chair is the old red armchair by the fire; it got badly ripped during a fight in the eighteen hundreds, but everyone thinks it’s too comfy to throw away.” 

“You could have overheard someone talking about that. I’m still not accepting it as proof.”

“The flush of the toilet next to the main common room sticks, so you have to pull the chain three times or it floods onto the floor,” Sirius said, desperately hoping that Hogwarts' maintenance was as piecemeal as it had always been and no one had fixed the toilet in the intervening years. 

The two boys looked at each other. 

“If you let me come back with you, I’ll explain everything, I promise,” pleaded Sirius. “Please don’t leave me for Snape to find.”

There was a hushed conversation between them Sirius couldn’t hear properly that was punctuated by glances in his direction. The words our age, harmless, Polyjuice and dad floated out just loud enough to be heard. 

In the awkward hush, Sirius went to fiddle with the earring that he had gained just the other week, but it wasn’t there. Neither was the piercing. He checked his other ear, in case he’d misremembered with everything that had happened, but they were both completely free of anything. 

“Okay,” said Harry, distracting Sirius from his latest round of what in the name of fuck, “you can come back with us, but you have to give us your wand.”

Sirius hesitated, but quickly realized that he didn’t have much choice at the moment; he needed an ally, and James’ son seemed like the best he could get. He was lucky, all things considered. 

“Okay.” 

He drew his wand out of its pocket, and handed it over, handle first. 

The other boy, whose name Sirius still did not know, snatched it from him quickly. 

“And we’re going to need to know your name,” Harry asked.

“I’m Sirius. Sirius Black.” 

“WHAT? No! You can’t be!”

“Why not?” asked Sirius.

“Because Sirius Black disappeared nineteen years ago.”

Chapter Text

well

that took a lot longer than it should have

bloody hell

Remus stopped halfway up the next staircase and stared back at the first floor corridor, making sure McGonagall hadn't decided to follow him. He could still hear her footsteps coming from somewhere near the Divination classroom. It sounded like she was almost to the hallway that led to her private chambers.  Another few minutes and she would probably be kicking off her shoes and reaching for that nice bottle of Scotch she kept in the cabinet by her bookcase, taking off her robes and making herself comfortable...

Remus stopped himself. He could do without that mental image. It was bad enough that he had to keep reminding himself to call her Minerva like some kind of functioning adult.

He turned around and headed back down the stairs.

At least they hadn't found anything, but now he really had to hurry, because he had a much more pressing issue to deal with than wasting his time patrolling the whole school with his former Head of House.

One of his silent alarms had been tripped, not five minutes ago. The high-pitched chime was still coming from the kitchen, though he was pretty sure he was the only one who could hear it. That noise could only mean one thing.

Someone who wasn't supposed to be in the castle was now in the castle.

Remus took out his wand as he came around the next corner, watching the torch light cast strange shadows on the walls. There weren't many people who knew about the passageway that led from the pantry in the kitchen to the train station in Hogsmeade. He had – quite literally – stumbled upon the entrance at the end of his fifth year, when he had tripped over a loose stone and found a lot more than the cinnamon rice cakes he had been looking for. It hadn't taken much longer for him to move a few more stones around and find an opening in the floor that had barely been large enough for him to climb through. He had spent the rest of that week clearing out debris, shoring up part of the ceiling, and crawling through the dark on his knees and elbows and stomach until he had found out where the new tunnel had led. It had been a bit of a surprise when he had lifted the boards covering the exit and found himself peeking out of the train station platform in Hogsmeade, staring at the dark and deserted Hogwarts Express. While not as convenient as some of the other secret passageways he knew about, it had still been a good find.

The problem now was that all of the passageways were just liabilities – just another way for unwanted visitors to make their way into the castle. He had made sure to seal them up as best he could when he had arrived in September, but the Weasley twins, who, he had noticed, had somehow gotten their grubby little hands on his old map, had already found ways around most of his barriers. So, he had gone back, and set silent alarm charms on every one of the tunnels. That way, he had figured, at least he would know whenever someone decided to venture down one.

The thing was, he had never seen the Weasley twins anywhere near the tunnel in the kitchen. Even Harry, who they seemed to have shared the map with, seemed to prefer the One-Eyed Witch passageway. Apart from Fred, George, and Harry, there were only a few other people who knew about the tunnels.

One of them was dead, one of them had vanished in the forest nineteen years ago, one of them hadn't been seen in thirteen years, and one of them had just escaped from Azkaban.

Remus had a bad feeling that the person who had triggered his alarm was the last one on his list – the one everyone said was after Harry Potter.

Remus just didn't understand why. It didn't make any sense. None of what had happened that Halloween night had made any sense.

Remus shoved his hair out of his face and kept going, heading for the staircase next to The Great Hall. At least now, if he found the escaped prisoner from Azkaban before the Dementors did, maybe he could finally get some answers.

Remus came around the next corner so fast that he didn't see Harry or Ron until he collided with them. Both boys jumped, startled, and tried to get out of his way.

"Sorry, Professor Lupin! We, err, were just heading to bed," Harry managed, holding what must have been James' old invisibility cloak, the way his hand appeared to be cut off at the wrist.

"Right, yeah, bedtime for us," Ron said. "Can't get too much sleep these days, what with the loose prisoner and all."

Both boys looked nervous, but Remus wasn't focused on them anymore. He was looking at the third boy, the one messing with his long hair and staring at the floor. 

"And what about you, lad?" Remus asked him. "Are you headed to bed?"

"I . . . Well, shit," the boy said.

Remus tried not to laugh at that. "Excuse me?"

"Shit, err, right, sorry . . . err . . . Professor." It sounded like he was trying on the word, but it came out all wrong and fell apart. And he was still looking at the floor, keeping his head down.

Remus' eyes narrowed. "I think you should straighten up and tell me your name, boy, before I take all three of you back to my office."

. . . and leave you in there with the door tightly locked so I can find whoever is now prowling around the castle, possibly trying to kill one of you.

The third boy let out an exasperated sigh. "Fine, yeah. Yeah, alright."

He looked up and shoved the hair out of his face.

Remus almost fell right down on his arse. He let out a loud gasp as he tripped backwards, catching himself against a suit of armor. "Jesus fucking Christ!"

"Hi, Moony, so, err, well . . . you look . . . older. Has anyone told you that? That you look older?"

Remus grabbed the boy by the shoulders and started to shake him. He wasn't gentle. "What the fuck kind of game is this?! What are you playing at?"

"Funny story, so, err, it seems Pete might have been right about that lightning storm-"

"Wait . . . lightning storm? Who are you?! Who the bloody fuck are you?"

"Moony! It's me, you idiot!"

Remus just shook him harder.

Harry and Ron were watching him with their hands over their mouths, probably both trying to decide if they should risk the same fate or run and get another teacher before he started assaulting them, too.

"Jesus, Moony, stop! It's me! I swear . . . I swear on the next full moon, it's me, you fucking lunatic!"

Remus stopped. He stared at the boy he held. "No... You're not him. Sirius Black is gone, he's fucking gone, so, you need to tell me who you are, right now, before I-"

"Fine! Your favorite book is the Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. You sleep with it under your pillow, or, at least, you did when we were sixteen," the boy said.

Remus stared at him. His whole body had gone cold. "Wait... How the hell did you-"

"You've got a scar on your back that goes from your hip to your shoulder. It's not from . . . you. Well, it sort of is, but not like that. You got it when we were trying to climb the Astronomy Tower, like fucking idiots, and I slipped, so you had to dive after me and ended up using that awful Sticking Charm that took off most of your skin-"

Remus let go of the boy who wasn't Sirius, who couldn't be Sirius. His voice came out almost as a whisper. "No, no, you can't be-"

" . . . Here?"

"Alive."

"Ah, yes, well, you might have to fill me in on the details. Twenty minutes or so ago, I was standing out in the forest with James and Pete in the pouring rain. I swallowed a potion, things got really strange, and now I'm here. Actually, wait, I'm not even sure I swallowed the potion completely, come to think of it. I think I... shit! I think I might have been struck by lightning! Hey, wait, let go of me, what are you-"

Remus ignored the question and kept dragging back-from-the-dead Sirius toward the staircase. He looked at Harry and Ron. "You two, come on; both of you."

They followed him, probably out of fear more than anything else at this point.

Still-probably-not-really Sirius was still protesting. "I can walk, you know! I don't think the lightning hit me that hard!"

"Shh! Be quiet for a minute! I'm trying to think!"

"Oh, Moony, come on! Where the hell are you even taking me?"

"To get you out of sight until we can figure this out!"

"Oof . . . You're strong for an old man, you know that?"

Remus groaned and elbowed probably-not Sirius in the ribs.

"Ouch! Stop it! It's not fair, you know, you being so much bigger than me now!"

Remus ignored Sirius, dragged him into his office with Harry and Ron, and shut the door. 

He stared at Sirius. It was so strange to see him there - to see him like that, for some reason looking so much younger than even he remembered him. "Alright, look, you need to tell me exactly what happened to you."

Sirius threw up his hands. "Fucked if I know! What did James and Pete say about it?"

"They wouldn't talk about it. Everyone was so upset with them for being out in that fucking storm. I didn't even know you lot were gone until the next morning, when I woke up alone in our dorm room and no one was there! I thought you had all just gotten up without me and gone down to breakfast, but you still weren't there. James and Pete didn't come back until late. They had been out all night and all day in the rain, trying to find you! They didn't know what had happened. No one did! You were just gone and I . . . you were gone, Sirius, if that's who you really are! You were just fucking gone!"

The boy who claimed he was Sirius reached for his shoulder. "Moony, I . . . I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I don't know what happened. All I know is I'm here, now, and I can't explain it. I really don't know what happened."

Remus pulled away from him and ran a hand through his hair. "Right, yeah, well. Give me a second to get used to this."

"Right, yes, you are the adult now."

Ron raised a hand like he was in class.

Remus looked over at him.

"Sorry, does this mean . . . are Harry and I not getting detention?"

"If you can both keep your mouths shut for a bit while I figure this out, then you're off the hook," Remus told him.

"While we figure this out, you mean," maybe actually Sirius said, "I'd rather like to have some sort of say in what happens to me next."

Harry asked, "Is this like, I don't know, some sort of . . . time travel?"

"I suppose we'll all find out," Remus said, letting out a long sigh.

They were all looking at him, like he knew what to do.

He had no idea what to do. No fucking clue.

dammit

He could still hear the high-pitched chime. He had to get out of there, but he couldn't leave them all on their own either.

shit

He could smell something now. Something so familiar . . .

Sirius was staring at Harry. "You really do look like your dad, you know that?"

"I've heard that, yeah. Wish I had gotten a chance to-"

Harry was cut off by a scream that came from the other side of the door.

Ron said, "What was-"

Remus was already running out of the room, heading for the girl he saw ahead of him, who had collapsed on the floor in the middle of the corridor, shaking and screaming with her arms pulled up over her head.

Remus got down on his knees and reached for her. "Easy, easy! What's wrong? Can you tell me what happened? It's okay; you're alright."

She was screaming that she wasn't alright, but he didn't see anything wrong with her. She hadn't been cursed, not that he could tell, and she didn't seem to be bleeding.

Lamps turned on along the hallway. Filch was coming toward them. So were Snape and Pomfrey.

oh fuck me

Harry, Ron, and Sirius had followed him. They stood there in the shadows, staring at the girl he held in his arms, clutching their wands and looking very much like the scared young boys they were.

Remus didn't know the girl's name. He knew she was a few years older than Harry. She was in Gryffindor, too, but that was all he could recall.

"It's okay. Whatever happened, it's over now. What's your name?" he asked her.

"K . . . Kathy."

"Right, Kathy, can you tell me what happened?"

"It was her! She was here!"

Remus looked at Harry and Ron. "Go back in my office, right now, and lock the door behind you. Don't let anyone in, do you understand?"

Harry said, "Professor-"

"Go, now!"

They left, heading back down the hallway. Remus watched until they had closed his office door, still holding onto the girl, who had started sobbing. "She was here! She had a knife! She grabbed me and . . . and she had a knife!"

Thankfully, Madam Pomfrey beat Snape and Filch up the stairs. She reached for the girl and started checking her for injuries. "There, there, dear, it's alright. Everything's going to be alright."

Sirius was still standing there. "I don't understand. Remus, what's happening?"

Remus swore as he backed away from the girl, reaching for Sirius. "You should have gone with Ron and Harry."

"Moony, wait . . . just tell me. What . . . What the shit is happening?"

Snape and Filch were standing with Pomfrey now – with the girl who was still shaking.

Remus could still hear the high-pitched chime. It hadn't done him much good. He hadn't acted fast enough to stop the girl from being attacked, but maybe it wasn't too late. He dragged Sirius down the hallway, moving as fast as he could, before the others noticed him. If Sirius was here, he might as well get some use out of him.

"Look, Sirius, a lot happened while you were... time traveling. I don't know if I can explain everything."

"You can try."

"No, it's... Sirius, James is dead. James died twelve years ago. Pete went missing soon after. He might be dead, too, for all I know. You don't understand. Everything is different."

Sirius looked a bit sick. Remus had to keep dragging him along to get him to move.

"There's more," Remus told him. "The person who was involved in Pete's disappearance, who might have killed him, who leveled an entire street filled with muggles in the process of trying to kill him, who was found mad and laughing about it all, has escaped from Azkaban. And now, I think they are here, in the castle. I think they are trying to get to Harry."

Sirius looked dazed. " . . . I don't . . . what? Wait, Moony, just wait . . . who is trying to get to Harry?"

"His mum."

"His . . . his mum?"

"Lily."

"Lily . . . Evans?"

Remus nodded, shoving open the door to his classroom and yanking Sirius inside.

"Evans? Wait . . . Moony, what the bloody shit is happening?"

"Sirius, the dangerous criminal, Lily Evans Potter, has escaped from Azkaban. I think she just attacked that girl in the hallway, and all of us professors think she's come here to try and kill Harry."

Chapter Text

Lily flattened herself behind a tapestry one corridor ahead of the search party; her memories were patchy, and she didn’t know if the ones she’d lost were ever coming back. But retaining that one of kissing James in the hidden alcove behind the tapestry of Merlin practicing Morris dance at Tintagel had turned out to be a lifesaver. 

It would have been even handier to remember that the girls’ dormitories were on the right and boys’ on the left. 

The screams were still ringing in her ears. Loud sounds were just too loud, and the castle was full of them. The lights were too bright outside of Azkaban. So many of those, as well. 

On the other hand, magic now felt… duller. Maybe it was just that she hadn’t used it in thirteen years, or maybe the Dementors had sucked the ability out of her. She didn’t know if that was ever coming back either. 

She ground the heels of her palms into her eye sockets. It was so hard to follow a train of thought. Maybe that was why she couldn’t cast spells properly; that or the fact that she wasn’t using her own wand. 

The 10 ¼ willow with a unicorn hair core was locked away at Azkaban still; she’d never have managed to escape if she’d tried to detour for it. She’d taken this one from a young, blond guard after knocking him out cold with her slop bowl, and she wasn’t convinced it worked as well. 

She remembered picking up her wand for the very first time, though, and the way it had concentrated all those vague surges of intention into a cascade of golden sparks. She remembered Ollivander’s eyes too; like pale, smoky crystal balls hovering unsupported in the gloom of his shop. 

You’re getting distracted again. You’ll never survive the night if you don’t pay attention. 

True. It was too fucking crowded in her head. Easier to concentrate on the way her eyeballs flattened slightly against her hands. 

She’d be of no use to anyone if she got lost in childhood memories every time she looked at the wand that wasn’t hers. It would have to do for now. 

Focus, Lily. 

She couldn’t stay here. Sooner or later, someone would look behind the tapestry, and then she’d be fed to the Dementors. Perhaps she should have thought it through a little more before sneaking into Hogwarts. But he was here, and she couldn’t leave until she’d taken a good look at him. 

Her boy… that little mop-haired, sparkling-eyed scrap of a thing she hadn’t had enough time with before she’d been snatched away. Hadn’t kissed enough; hadn’t cuddled enough. Hadn’t stroked that impossibly soft skin enough or inhaled that Amortentia baby smell you couldn’t find anywhere else… 

A softer set of steps came up the corridor. 

Lily dropped her hands and cocked her head, blinking as her blood vessels fizzled and spluttered like a Cokeworth Borough Council fireworks display. 

The footsteps slowed. 

Maybe she’d get used to the strange wand. But the knife in her hand felt more reliable, so she drew that instead. To her experience, wizards rarely expected to be stabbed. 

The nearest sconce was behind the person hunting her, and it cast their shadow under the tapestry as the steps came to a halt. 

She burst out, and got a brief glimpse of black, swirling robes. 

The Disarming Charm yanked the knife out of her hand before she could gut him, but it did graze his arm. His wand jabbed her in the sternum as though he hadn’t felt it. 

“When I broke you out of Azkaban, I did not think you’d be stupid enough to come back here,” he hissed. 

Severus Snape: the man who’d ‘saved her life’. He looked much the same as the last time she’d seen him: pale, stringy and scowling. His hair was in worse shape than hers, and that was saying something. 

They glared at each other for a second. If he didn’t think she’d go straight to Hogwarts once term started, he didn’t know her nearly as well as he should. 

“Severus? Have you found something?”

A voice from the next corridor. Unmistakably McGonagall. 

Sev bared his teeth with a quick flash of frustration. 

“You cannot be seen!” he muttered, then hit her with a Full Body Bind and a Disillusionment Charm in the same breath. 

Part of her admired his speedy wandwork, but then he shoved her unceremoniously back into the alcove and kicked the bloodied knife under the tapestry with her. 

Her former Head of House approached. Even her heels clicked against the flagstones with a stern, no-nonsense rhythm that made Lily ache for the simplicity of her teenage years. 

“No,” he drawled calmly. “Nothing. If she’s got any sense, she’ll be fleeing back through whichever secret passageway she was deranged enough to come in by.”

McGonagall huffed, oblivious to his pointed tone, and they had a brief conversation about patrolling the grounds. 

“I’d like to check the dungeons first,” he said. “In case she decides to take a detour down there for some strange reason.”

“We can’t be too careful, Severus,” she said, sounding concerned. “Even us staff. I really do think we should move around in pairs.”

“I’ll find Filius again, then,” he said. “I can’t stand looking at Lupin’s sad puppy eyes all night.”

“Severus!” she chided. 

Remus? Remus was here? That complicated things. He had a thing about using his enhanced senses in human form, in case it ever tempted him to turn outside of the full moon. At least, he had thirteen years ago; Lily had no idea what he was like now. If he caught her scent, she was fucked. 

Or was she? Remus of all people understood what it was like to be persecuted. Would he at least hear her out first? Mind you, he hadn’t stepped in back when she’d been arrested. Or had it been his time of the month? Those days following James’ death were a nasty blur she didn’t want to stir too deeply. 

She’d have to think about approaching Remus long and hard before trying anything. Besides, she appeared to be allied with Sev once more, and it seemed like they still hated each other. 

And, for that matter, where had Sev been while Scrimgeour had pushed through her high-speed farce of a trial? If only Sirius had been there- hadn’t mysteriously disappeared in fifth year- maybe none of it would have happened. Maybe everyone would still be alive. 

The edge of a wonky stone ground into Lily’s right shoulder blade and whatever muscle it was that kept her kidneys in. But it was still more pleasant than thinking about the night she should have died. 

McGonagall was taking a fair bit of persuading to leave. Finally, she marched off to continue the search elsewhere. Lily could hear the lie in Sev’s voice as he wearily agreed to go and find Flitwick. 

The tapestry billowed back. She blinked. After all these months, her eyes were still slow to adjust to changes in light. 

“Are you going to do something foolish if I release the Petrificus?” he asked, his face flickering between annoyance and concern. 

“No,” she managed through her clamped-shut jaw. 

He exhaled. “Good. We’ll hide you in my office for now while we work out what to do. Walk slowly so the Disillusionment Charm doesn’t shimmer, and stop dead if you see anyone.”

“I know how a Disillusionment Charm works, Sev,” she muttered. 

He evidently didn’t trust her completely, because he pocketed her knife. She’d whittled it from a Dementor’s arm bone, and it was one of the few souvenirs of Azkaban she wanted to keep. 

They made their way slowly down to the dungeons while Sev made a pantomime show of checking every nook and cranny for the benefit of the nosy portraits. The damp, cold air sliced through the badly-fitting, mismatched robes she’d stolen from washing lines up and down the country. She glanced down, and saw the Disillusionment Charm wobbling over the outline of her hands as she shivered. 

“I’ll stoke up the fire,” he muttered out of the corner of his mouth. 

As they turned the corner into the Potions corridor, Lily stopped abruptly. A tall, blocky-faced boy was standing in front of an apparently blank stretch of wall, wand raised and eyes wide. Older than Harry, she thought. By at least a couple of years. 

“Is it true, Professor?” he asked Sev. “Did she break into the castle?”

Her heart was thudding hard against the underside of her skin. She hoped it wasn’t making visible ripples through the charm. 

“So I’m told, although I haven’t personally seen any evidence to confirm it,” Sev drawled unconcernedly. “Noble of you to stand guard outside the common room, though, Warrington. Did you think you’d catch her single-handedly and earn a medal?”

The boy looked down at the floor, his cheeks turning red. 

“Get back to bed. If I see anyone else breaking curfew, I’ll start docking house points.”

“Yes, Professor,” he muttered, and turned to the blank wall. 

He muttered a word that Lily couldn’t catch- although she tried- and the wall slid aside to show a glimpse of a dark, green-tinted room. 

Once the wall had closed again, they made it to his office without incident. 

The last time she’d seen the room, it had belonged to Slughorn and had been magically enlarged to fit a big, squishy chair and all his sentimental trophies and photos. Now it was dark, and the walls were lined with shelves full of creepy pickled specimens and mysterious bottles. 

“I see you’ve got a persona to keep up,” she said as he locked the door behind them. 

He sagged against it, the mask sliding off his face in much the same way as her Disillusionment Charm did hers; cold and slimy, and transparent as a raw egg over her skin but without being actually wet. 

She almost felt sorry for him. 

“Lily, what are you doing here?” he asked, his voice rougher around the edges, and she caught a faint, subconscious echo of the childhood accent they’d both been encouraged to shed when they'd started school. 

“What do you think I’m doing here?” she demanded. “I’m trying to protect my son!”

His face twitched. 

“Fuck’s sake, Sev; where did you think I would go? Back to Cokeworth to linger over my parents’ graves? Or did you imagine I could just turn up on the front step of Tuney’s shiny little house in Surrey and be welcomed in with open arms?”

A hysterical laugh bubbled out of her, and she had to stuff it back down before it could get out of hand. 

“The only thing I have left in this world is here,” she finished. Her voice broke. She looked down at her chipped, dirty nails. 

“You still have-”

“Don’t say it!” she hissed, nailing him to the door with the force of her glare. “Don’t you fucking dare!”

“Should I have left you for the Dementors, then?” he asked, rallying. “You can still walk straight out of this door and take your chances with McGonagall.”

Anger was the only thing that warmed her these days; she could wrap it around her like the fur of an animal she’d slaughtered. 

She liked him better angry too. Anything was better than those sad, guilty eyes. They’d been the first thing she saw when she woke in 1981 instead of James’…

She shook her head to clear her thoughts. He would help her anyway; he hadn’t invented a potion to mask her soul from the Dementors and bribed a boatman to get her off the island for nothing. Severus Snape’s black little heart would always belong to her, whether he liked it or not. 

And when she told him so, he couldn’t deny it. 

“You were supposed to lie low at Mum’s,” he muttered. “She’d have helped you get your strength back faster.”

Oh, yes, dear old Eileen. Winner of all those 1970s Mother of the Year Awards…

Lily bit back her immediate response; the desire to hurt him was fading and she found she actually didn’t want to hit him that far below the belt. Perhaps if Eileen had cared a little more, he’d be less of a mess. Sometimes she felt like she was treading water in a sea of all the maybes and what-ifs. 

“Well, I’m here now,” she said instead. “Let’s talk practicalities.”

He managed to persuade her to follow him through the secret passage behind a bookshelf that led up to his sitting room- no surprise the Marauders had missed that one- and sit down in front of the fire under a couple of blankets to eat. 

“You can’t stay in the castle,” he said finally. “Sooner or later, an elf or a painting will catch sight of you at the very least." 

“Can you make more of those potions?” she asked. “It would be handy to be invisible to Dementors.”

“No,” he said impatiently. “They take months to brew. Besides, if you recall, they require a scrap of Dementor robe to activate. That was all very well in Azkaban where you were supposed to be a helpless food source. If you run into one here, they’ll Kiss you before you get anywhere near them.”

Lily huffed. She supposed he had a point. 

“You can’t stay in the Shrieking Shack or the Forest either,” he went on. “Lupin will sniff you out eventually.”

“I think there are some unused rooms on the top floor of the Hogsmeade station building,” she said. “And I spotted an abandoned signal post a mile down the line.”

“Good,” Sev said. “I can bring you food and supplies from time to time.”

“That’s how I got in,” she said. “There’s an old passage that goes from below the platform to one of the pantries. It’s how the boys used to sneak in contraband…” she tailed off sadly. 

“You can stay here until tomorrow,” he said. “The elves come in to clean on a Friday, so you should be safe for now. Hogsmeade will be like a doxy nest tonight, with Dementors and Aurors everywhere. But please don’t come back into the castle without giving me warning.” His tone grew a little desperate. 

“You don’t understand,” she said. 

He grimaced. “No, I don’t,” he said. “But we need to be clever about this. If you just pop out in front of him, he’ll probably take your head off or scream for help. If you get caught, you get Kissed. And all of this has been for nothing.”

“You could talk to him-”

Sev laughed bitterly. “Not a chance; he hates me. Must be a Potter gene he inherited along with the hair.”

She growled in frustration. 

“We’ll think of something; I promise,” he said. 

He reached out for his Firewhisky glass on the little table between them and the fire, and she noticed there was a bloody rip in his sleeve. 

“I think you got cut Disarming me,” she said. 

He snatched his arm back, barely looking at it. 

“It’s fine,” he said quickly. 

She remembered that defensive posture; that careful non-expression. She’d seen them far too many times over the summer holidays when they were at home. And now she felt sorry for him instead of annoyed; these quick changes in emotions were exhausting. 

“You never could hide an injury from me, Sev,” she said. 

“No; it’s not that-” he muttered disjointedly. 

She scanned his face, although he wouldn’t meet her eyes. The pieces clicked into place excruciatingly slowly, but they got there in the end. 

“Sev? Is there something you don’t want me to see?” she asked softly. 

“You know what it is!” he snapped. “And no, I don’t want you to see it. I didn’t think you’d want to either, considering-”

Pity was gone, and anger was back. 

“Considering it was branded on you by the wizard who murdered my husband, left me alive as a fucking gift to you and tried to kill my son?”

Lily leapt to her feet and leaned over him. 

“Show it to me. You owe me that.”

Sev looked like he wanted to cry. 

“Lily- that thing was the biggest mistake of my life- I-”

“Show me.”

Unwillingly, he fumbled at the long row of buttons on his sleeve. Then he pushed his sleeve up to expose his pale arm, a long slash on the outside from the disarm gone wrong. 

And, on the inside, his Dark Mark. It looked more like an old burn than a tattoo, but it drew her eye like a motorway car crash. 

It wanted to suck her in, to swirl her around in its brown-red current until she was dizzy. And she understood, belatedly, why she’d pushed so hard to see it. 

That shape was unexpectedly familiar. It sang to her. Like very fucking little had done since she escaped that evil rock in the middle of the North Sea and returned to find both Muggle and Wizarding worlds had changed beyond recognition. 

She felt neither here nor there about the skull. But the snake that looped and threaded its way through the mouth... it looked almost alive... 

“Hello, my old friend,” she said to it, luxuriating in the way the Ss, the As and the Hs elongated over her tongue and slithered against her teeth. 

Sev leapt away from her so quickly his legs gave out and he folded to the floor like a pile of black washing someone had dropped. 

He was clever- always had been too clever for his own good. What was the saying? You’re so sharp, you’ll cut yourself. She used to hear it a lot as a child. 

Focus, Lily. 

He’d caught up very quickly. She liked the look of horror on his face, though, and the way he scrabbled away from her. About fucking time. 

“You know, it’s funny, Sev,” she said. He flinched as his name left her lips- she might have stretched out the S a bit out of sheer perversity, but she had to get her kicks somewhere- “I never could before. But, you see, ever since that Halloween night in ’81, I’ve been able to talk to snakes.”

Chapter Text

“Lily…?” Sirius blinked stupidly in both confusion and surprise at Remus. He felt like he’d just been told a troll had been crowned Miss Universe.

“Yes, to be honest, we still don’t really know what happened. Lily didn’t speak when they took her away. She just… laughed. I don’t know. Maybe she snapped, maybe –“ 

“Woah, woah, woah!” Sirius held his hand up to Remus to slow him down. He thought he’d had enough of an information overload when he’d worked out he’d time travelled. All this was doing was adding more static to his already fried brain.

“James finally got his end away with Lily? Fucking hell! How the fuck did that happen? Next you’re going to tell me that you’ve shacked up with fucking Snivellus – actually no, wait, don’t do that even as a joke. I think I’d just go take up the Dementors’ hospitality in Lily’s old cell without passing Go.”

“That’s what you’re taking from all of this?”

“Baby steps, okay? We can’t all have had an extra two decades of aging, old man. How old even are you now, thirty-five? “ 

“Thirty-four,” Remus interjected belligerently.

“Still old. This is a lot for my sixteen-year-old brain to take in.”

Remus stepped back and looked Sirius up and down several times.

“What?” asked Sirius.

“I’m not sure you’re even sixteen anymore, to be honest…” Remus started slowly.

“You’re too, err…” he looked like he was treading on eggshells. “Fresh faced. And your piercing’s gone.”

Sirius grabbed at his earlobes only to remember that he’d been through this loop once before, in the corridor with Harry and Ron. He did feel small. He hoicked up his robes, twisting to see the back of his legs, to see the scar he’d got the summer before during a fight with his cousin. It wasn’t there. 

Remus was looking at him in the same way that someone might look at an unexploded stink bomb. It was the last thing Sirius really noticed before the last gossamer threads of reason snapped.

He could hear his heart pounding in his ears as his breath caught in his throat.

No.

This wasn’t happening. It was a bad dream. His abdomen tightened uncomfortably until a wave of nausea threatened to spray-paint the contents of his stomach across the back wall. The thoughts in his head raced, each one demanding more of his attention until he couldn’t grasp any of them anymore. They flicked through his head with snatches of voices, images, and thoughts, smearing into one nonsensical blur.

Remus – not his Remus – guided him gently backwards until he felt a chair behind his knees, and he sat down heavily.

“Name five things you can see,” said Remus.

Sirius wiped his sweaty palms compulsively on his robes, trying to placate the panic that was trying to claw its way out of him by any means available. He looked around the classroom, head darting in every direction, begging for his mind to focus on something, anything.

“Name five things you can see,” Remus repeated. 

“Chairs,” said Sirius.

“Good - one.”

“Desks.”

“Two.”

They continued with the ritual they had learnt three – no twenty-two years – earlier –

Fuck. No. Don’t think about that right now. 

– when Remus had found Sirius alone in an alcove, gasping for breath, shaking with fear beyond reason. Counting down through the senses until -

“One thing you can taste.” 

There was a rustling sound, followed by a snap. Sirius turned his, now slightly clearer, head to it and saw Remus offering him a square of Honeydukes chocolate. Sirius accepted it gladly. It melted on his tongue, the sweet, creamy sensation grounding him a little further.

“Chocolate.”

“Good. We are going to work this out, Sirius. There’s a lot going on right now, and I need to make sure Harry is safe, but we will find a way to put everything back to normal.”

Finally, Sirius looked up to Remus’ face. It might be older, but it was still his. Same eyes, same smile, although maybe tinged with more sadness. Sirius threw his arms around Remus. He was still sat down, meaning that his head was only a fraction above his crotch, but Sirius pulled him closer anyway. He still smelled the same too. 

For a brief moment, Remus stroked Sirius’ hair and Sirius could pretend it was still 1976. But then Remus coughed, patted him once on the head and pulled away quickly.

“Right, err, I don’t think there’s much use talking about this more now. You need sleep. Err, probably best if you stay in Gryffindor tower. Harry and Ron will look after you. I’ve got a free period first thing tomorrow, we can try and think more about what to do with you – this – you.”

Remus rubbed his arm, turning away from Sirius as he spoke, heading for the door. 

Sirius was given half a dose of Dreamless Sleep potion, despite his own protestations - “Yes, I know you were knocking them back like Butterbeer by the time you were sixteen, but you’re not sixteen anymore!” (which almost sent him back into a tailspin) - and sent off to Gryffindor tower with Harry and Ron. Finally, the three of them set up a makeshift bed in a corner of the dorm room (his dorm room as a matter of fact), somehow managing to not wake the other sleeping inhabitants. Sirius knocked back the Dreamless Sleep and settled down under James’ – Harry’s – invisibility cloak. 

His mind circled back to the conversation he had been having with Remus before his brain had shut down. Lily was Harry’s mother. Lily and James had been together. James was dead. Lily might have killed Peter. And now she was after her son? Had Lily killed James? Why would Lily have killed anyone? 

None of it made any sense.

Sirius could hear the two boys whispering to each other.

“She’s my mum, Ron. I have to try and see her.”

“But – she’s trying to kill you, mate.”

“We don’t know that! No one’s been able to say why! It’s not like it was her that tried to kill me back then, so why now?”

“I don’t know… She’s been in Azkaban for twelve years; no one knows what she’s thinking anymore! She's probably gone completely mental.”

“I’m going to find out.”

Steely determination edged Harry’s voice, making him sound just like James. Sirius shifted on his pile of cushions, trying to get comfortable. He ached for his own bed, his own friends, his own time. But before he had a chance to dwell on it, the potion took hold and he passed out.

Despite Sirius’ arguing about the dosage, the next thing he knew it was morning and he was being woken up by several loud voices getting ready for the day. It was lucky that he wasn’t in the habit of jumping out of bed when he woke up on the best of days. A few seconds of listening to voices that he didn’t recognize reminded him of where and when he was. 

He lay still under the invisibility cloak, trying to go back to sleep for want of anything better to do but without any luck, until the last of the voices left for breakfast. He sat up and rubbed his eyes while they adjusted to the bright morning, then his stomach rumbled. In the madness of the night before, no one had thought to discuss food.

He was just contemplating borrowing the invisibility cloak so that he could go down to the kitchen, despite promising a very suspicious Harry that he wouldn’t leave the room with it unless Harry was with him, and a very weary Remus that he wouldn’t go anywhere in the castle except to his office, when Harry stuck his head back round the door. 

“I’ll bring you back some breakfast once I’m done,” Harry said quickly, then his head disappeared from view again. 

Sirius smiled. He was starting to warm to James’ offspring.    

He didn’t have to wait as long as he expected. Sirius was halfway through investigating who lived in his dorm room now when he heard voices coming up the stairs and he had to dash back to the invisibility cloak. They were still talking about Lily possibly getting into the castle last night. 

Harry, Ron and another – a girl, no less – stepped into the room. Clearly, he was even more interesting than a potentially violent fugitive, as their conversation stopped dead when they saw him. 

The girl stared at him unabashedly.

“Hello, err,” said Sirius, staring back, then turning back to Harry and Ron. “I thought you said to Moony – I mean, Remus – I mean, Professor Lupin, that you wouldn’t tell anyone?”

“Yeah, but it’s Hermione – she doesn’t count,” Harry explained with a shrug. “Did you just say Moony?” 

“Yeah, that’s what I know him as - knew him as - no know him as. Fuck, this is confusing.”

Sirius ignored the shocked look on Hermione’s face at the swearing and concentrated on shutting out the panic again. It’s okay; Remus is going to help. He’s going to get me back to where I should be.

“You don’t happen to know anyone called Wormtail or Prongs, do you?” Harry asked.

“No. Why?”

Harry looked at him shrewdly for a moment, then shook his head. “No reason.” 

“So you’re Sirius Black? The boy who disappeared nineteen years ago?” asked Hermione, staring at him again. It was unnerving.

“Yes.”

“You can’t be,” she stated plainly. 

“What?” 

“Time Turners only let you go back. And even then, only for five hours at most.”

The girl reminded Sirius slightly of Lily. 

“What’s a Time Turner?” asked Harry. 

“They’re a device for going back in time, but you can only go back five hours, and they’re strictly controlled by the Ministry. And if you’re Sirius Black, that means that you came forward in time by many years, and that’s not possible.”

“Where do you learn all this stuff, Hermione?” Ron gaped at her. 

“The library, Ron. You know? That place with the books?” She fiddled with the necklace under her robes while rolling her eyes despairingly. 

Definitely like Lily.

“Well I’m so sorry for not following the rules of time travel, but this is me. Yesterday, I was in this exact room, but sat on that bed,” Sirius gesticulated wildly toward the bed that now, apparently, belonged to someone called Dean. “Talking to your dad,” he pointed at Harry, “about –”

Sirius stopped talking. Partly because he didn’t think admitting to three thirteen-year-olds what they had been planning to do was wise, and partly because his breathing was getting out of control again.

“I need to find Remus,” he said. 

“You can’t go out yet; someone might see you,” Ron pointed out bluntly.

“I’ll borrow the invisibility cloak.”

“You won’t,” warned Harry.

Sirius considered ignoring him; he was closest to the door and would have the element of surprise, but he needed allies, not to mention breakfast. He took several steadying breaths and eyed the bundle of napkins in Ron’s hand. 

“Did you bring food?” asked Sirius. 

Ron handed him what turned out to be a stack of toast with several flavours of jam. 

“Thanks,” Sirius managed around a mouthful of bread. 

He ate in silence for a minute, aware of the three pairs of eyes staring at him. 

“So… you knew my dad?” Harry asked, still watching him.

Sirius nodded, “Yeah, I know him.” 

He was getting back.

“What was he like?” 

“He is kind and generous and thoughtful. And sometimes a bit of an arrogant prick, but only ever in the best way.”

It was Harry’s turn to nod. “And-” 

“Harry,” said Hermione, “I really don’t think now’s the time. We need to be in Transfiguration in five minutes. And you know that McGonagall will take points away if we’re late.” 

No change there, then. 

“Right, yeah, sure.” 

“Well, I guess I’ll see you later. I can’t imagine that we’re going to be able to fix what has happened. Not in a day.” 

“What will you do?” asked Ron.

“Go see Moony – Lupin – see what he suggests.” Sirius shrugged. 

“It is fascinating,” pondered Hermione, “firstly, that you ended up here in the first place - I wonder if this has ever happened before, I’ll go check some books out in the library later. But also, to think how things might be different if you hadn’t disappeared. And what happens if – or when – we do get you back again. Do things suddenly change? Will we be aware of it? Will you remember what you experience now? Will you be able to influence what happens?” 

“Hermione, I thought you said we had to go?” Ron reminded her. “I don’t think it’s fair that Harry doesn’t get to ask any questions but you get to ask five thousand.”

“Oh, right, yes, sorry. See you later, Sirius.” 

Sirius watched them go, then waited until he was sure that there wouldn’t be any more stragglers and left in the common room before heading out of Gryffindor tower. 

The halls were mercifully quiet as he made his way back to Remus’ office. He let his mind wander to the questions Hermione had raised. She was right; it was fascinating, or it would be if only it hadn’t happened to him. But it had, he reasoned with himself, so maybe, rather than moping about, he should see it as an opportunity. 

Imagine the fun he could have when he did get back! Knowing everybody’s futures… If only they weren’t so bleak… But then, hopefully he could make sure they weren’t.

He heard voices as he got to the office door, and sequestered himself behind a handy suit of armor to one side of it and listened. He heard Remus, which was to be expected, and… Was that Snape…?

“I can tell you’re hiding something from me, Remus.” Snape’s unpleasant drawl came through the door. “You’ve been trying to get rid of me for the last half an hour.”

Remus?

“I’m not hiding anything from you, Severus. I just had a long night with everything going on, and I’ve got a stack of marking to do, and I won’t get any of it done with you here distracting me.”

Severus?

At what point did they get to first name terms?

“Well, perhaps if you stopped trying to be the hero and solve this on your own, you might have had more time to do it before. You’re as bad as Potter.” 

Sirius could hear the disgust dripping in Snape’s voice. 

“I thought we had agreed,” Remus’ voice had gone cold, “that if this was to continue, you wouldn’t mention James.” 

“Oh I didn’t mean James; I meant his spawn. I wouldn’t be surprised if he was out to try and catch his mother himself last night.” 

“Severus-” said Remus, with an edge that would have sliced stone.

“Very well. I’ll see you later, no doubt.“

“Err… yes, probably. If I get my marking done.” 

Sirius could tell Remus was giving excuses; he was probably rubbing his forearm as he said it. He’d always done that. 

There was a moment’s silence, then Sirius heard the door handle turn and he jammed himself further back into his hiding place. Snape swept out without a sideways glance, and strode down the hallway, looking like the unwashed bat that he always had done. Sirius waited a moment, his head now full of even more questions, and stepped out and knocked on Remus' office door, ready to demand some answers. 

Chapter Text

Remus was still rubbing at his forearm when his office door swung shut behind Severus. He made himself stop – it was a stupid nervous habit – but that only led to him rubbing at his eyes instead. He had spent damn near the entire night looking for Lily and he was really starting to feel it. He knew she was there somewhere on school grounds, maybe even still in the castle.  He had smelled her. He knew he had smelled her. And the girl she attacked had seen her.

So, where the bloody fuck had she gone?

Remus reached for the cup of tea he'd made for himself a few hours ago, after he'd decided to give up on sleep. It was cold now, but he drank it anyway, not even bothering to cast a Warming Charm, trying to inhale enough of the lingering scent of Earl Grey to clear his head.

The scent of Lily was stronger than ever now. It was everywhere, like it was seeping in through the walls, even though he'd spent hours, quite literally, combing through the walls, climbing around like he was a teenager again, remembering, with a lot of annoyance, that several of the castle's passageways had been dug out by his much younger self – and his much slighter body.

Now, he was sore, exhausted, and still had no idea where she had gone.

Remus jumped then, a bit startled, as someone knocked on his door.

"Severus, I swear to Godric," he said, shoving his chair back and getting up, "if you keep interrupting me, I'll never manage to-"

He yanked the door open, but it wasn't Snape.

It was the thirteen year old ghost who had decided to haunt him, complete with some sort of jam spilled all over the front of his shirt.

Sirius looked up at him. "Oh, err. . . Sorry, am I interrupting something important?"

Remus sighed.

"You look like shit, you know that?" Sirius told him. "Did you sleep? I actually managed to get some, after I-"

Remus grabbed Sirius by his shoulders and yanked him into his office before anyone noticed, closing the door quickly behind them.

"Whoa, easy!" Sirius said. "See you're cranky and exhausted. Is this what I've got to look forward to in old age?"

Remus glared at him. "I thought I told you to stay in the tower."

"You did, yes," Sirius said, "but you also said you had a free period, and I wasn't going to just sit around waiting for you to come and get me. In case you've started to develop dementia, along with your fatigue and increasingly pleasant disposition, and forgotten what is going on, I'd rather like to figure out how to get myself back to-"

Remus had gone back to rubbing at his eyes. The lack of sleep had given him a headache. "Sirius, I don't know how to say this, but, in case you haven't noticed, you sort of time jumped back to life at a really inopportune time."

Sirius crossed his arms. "Oh, so sorry, should I have scheduled it over the summer holiday or closer to Christmas?"

"Anytime we didn't already have an escaped convict hiding somewhere in the castle and possibly trying to kill her child would have been preferable."

"Ah, right. I'll try to do better the next go 'round. In the meantime, what do you know about Time Turners?"

"Time Turners?"

"Not much, I see."

"It wasn't a Time Turner that brought you here, Sirius."

"No, but I was thinking, if we had one to fiddle with, we could-"

"You need to go back a lot further than a few hours," Remus said.

"Yes, but if we found a way to modify it-"

Of course Sirius – especially a version of him who was now intimately familiar with time travel – would rush right back into fucking around with it again.

"-or maybe we could just take it apart enough to see what sort of magic it-"

"You've got jam on your shirt."

" . . . what?"

Remus leaned forward and wiped what looked like a glob of strawberry jam off Sirius' front.

Sirius stared back at him with something akin to annoyance. He'd forgotten how bloody impatient he could be. And he'd never liked being treated like a child.

so stop doing it

and help him

Remus sat back. "Alright, look, I know you want to... get home. I know this is confusing, believe me; I'm just as confused as you are. I know you don't want to be here with me. You want to be back there, with who I was – with James and Peter and Lily – with who we all used to be. I don't blame you. I want that, too. Sometimes, it's all I want – for things to be that simple again – for things to be… alright."

He reached gently for Sirius' shoulder. "I'll get you back there. I promise. I just... I don't want to make things worse in the process, so bear with me while I try to wrap my head around this, and we can both figure it out. Like we always used to, alright?"

"Yeah," Sirius said, "yeah, alright."

"You, err... feeling better?"

"Yeah. Think I... think I just needed to get some sleep. I don't know."

"It's a lot, what you've been through. I didn't mean to make it worse."

He'd been worried about him. He'd forgotten how bad the panic attacks had been when they were younger; how Sirius had looked the first time he had found him like that; how scared they had both been.

"You didn't," Sirius said. "I was... well, I'm glad you're here. Still surprised they let you teach anyone, especially at your age, but I guess-"

Remus shoved him playfully.

"Hey! You're the one who went and got old on me!"

Remus managed a smile at that, feeling a bit sad. He had gone and gotten old. It wasn't fair.

"It's so weird, you know?" Sirius said. "Like, you're very much still you, just not you, but, I swear, you even smell like you always did - like you still do - and I can't believe-"

smell

fuck

Remus stood up.

Sirius was right. He was getting old. 

fucking hell

He should have figured it out as soon as Severus had walked into his office.

He knew why the smell of Lily was everywhere – because Severus had been there, and he had been with Lily. Her scent hadn't been coming from the bloody walls or from the rest of the castle. 

It had been coming from Severus fucking Snape.

Remus reached for the doorknob and looked back at Sirius. "Don't move until I get back."

"Wait! Where are you going?"

"To talk to Severus. And find out how long he's been hiding Lily."

"He's been . . . what?"

"Stay here."

"Wait, no! You can't just say something ominous like that and expect me to just wait here!"

Remus let out a long breath.  "Fine, but…"

He took out his wand, facing Sirius and casting a Disillusionment Charm on him, watching as his features began to blend in with the bookcase behind him.

"There, alright? Now, come on, and, for Merlin's sake, be quiet and don't let anyone see you."

He saw Sirius smile for just a second before the last of his features faded away.

Remus held the door open for him, peeking his head out and taking a look around.

Fortunately, it was still the middle of the period, and the halls were empty.

Unfortunately, Sirius was still... well... Sirius.

His voice came from Remus' left as they headed for the staircase. He wasn't even trying to whisper. "So, while we're talking about the complications of time travel, and how much simpler things were before I made the mistake of doing magic in the middle of a lightning storm, want to tell me why he's Severus now?"

"What?"

"You called Snape – Snivellus Snape – by his proper first name."

Remus sighed. "With everything going on right now, that's what you want to talk about?"

Lily's scent was getting stronger, now they were almost to Severus' office.

fucking hell

She had been in his office. Maybe she still was.

"I just don't understand," Sirius said. "What changed? Is this some sort of professional courtesy or are you two just throwing around first names now like some sort of snide-"

Remus groaned. "Sirius, will you please just shut up?"

He should have left him in his office. Especially if they were now headed straight for Lily.

"Wait," Sirius said, sounding aghast. "Hold the shit on."

"I swear to Godric, Sirius. If you can't be quiet, you need to go back to my office before someone-"

"Are you . . . shagging Snivellus?!"

"Sirius-"

"Godric's arse! You are!"

"If you don't shut up-"

"Moony, what the shit?! What the actual bloody shit?!" 

Remus ignored Sirius and kept walking, marching right past Filch and turning down the corridor with the hidden wall Severus had once shown him exactly how to open, just before that first time he had pulled him inside and –

Remus stopped himself. The smell of Lily was so strong now. 

fuck me

how did I not realize where it was coming from

Sirius was still somewhere behind him, and still talking, but Remus wasn't listening to him anymore.

He muttered the word 'moonlight', and barged inside Snape's office as the door slid open, catching him off guard and shoving him against the cabinet next to his desk.

"Remus? What are you-"

He glared at Snape. "Where is she?"

He had grabbed him so hard the top button had popped right off of Snape's robe.

"Remus, wait, I don't understand-"

"Don't fucking lie to me, Severus, alright? Don't you fucking lie to me. Where is she? Where the bloody fuck is she?!"

"Remus, calm down. Let me-"

"What were you thinking, Severus?! What the actual bloody fuck were you thinking, hiding her here? I know you don't like Harry, but, for fuck's sake, do you realize what you've done? That you've put the entire school at risk? That you're hiding her means you're choosing to put children in danger?! That you're choosing to let the Dementors continue roaming the grounds, looking for her - looking for an opportunity to feed on the students?!"

"Remus, I didn't know she was here, not until tonight. I swear to you, I didn't-"

"So, what? You found her and decided to help her?"

Snape was quiet, staring back at him with his dark eyes.

"Why, Severus? Why the hell did you take that sort of risk?"

"I-"

Remus shook his head.  "After all this time, all this fucking time, Lily Potter's still got you wrapped around her finger."

"It's not like that, Remus. She-"

"She what, Severus? Have you ever really stopped to think about it? About what happened that night?

"For Merlin's sake, she's not here to hurt anyone, Remus, all she wants is-"

"Tell that to the poor girl who just spent the night in Poppy's office."

"The girl scared her, that's all. Lily was just looking for Harry. She never meant to-"

"To wave a knife at a student?"

"No!"

"What would you have done if she had made it to Gryffindor Tower? If she had found Harry and-"

"She doesn't want to hurt him, Remus! She just wants to see him! She hasn't seen him since-"

"Since the night you stepped over James' Potter's body, so you could be the one to save her," Remus said, making no effort to hide all of the anger in his voice, "the night she left you there alone with Harry, screaming in his crib."

Remus gave Severus another shove and let go of him, backing away. His hands were shaking.

"You wouldn't understand," Severus told him, straightening his robe.

"No, I suppose I wouldn't."

"You never-"

"Tell me something, Severus," Remus said. "Does she still call you Sev? Do you like it better when she says your name?"

Remus stared at him in the dim light, trying to keep his breathing level, trying to tell himself he was only so worked up because of the way Severus had put the entire goddamn school in danger.

But he knew that was a lie.

This was about so much more. 

It had hurt him. What Severus had done had really hurt him.

He didn't know what he had expected, after all their time together, but he had at least thought he would get some honesty. He hadn't expected to be discarded so fast – to be lied to by the one person he had taken a chance with and trusted, the man whose bed he had been in not two nights ago, staring at him in the dark and telling himself whatever happened, it would all be fine, because at least they had each other - at least, after everything, after all the heartache and the loss and the pain, they still had each other.

"I'm sorry, Remus. I really am. She needed help. What happened all those years ago wasn't right, and she needed my help."

Remus shook his head. "Is that why you came to my office? Were you hoping I would notice her scent all over you? Were you hoping I would help you?"

Severus didn't say anything.

Remus let out a long breath. He was so done with all of this.

"Well, I did, Severus. I noticed it. So, here we are. And, while we're at it, why don't you help me with a problem of my own?"

He turned around, faced the corner that Sirius' breathing was coming from, and raised his wand, dissolving the Disillusionment Charm he had put on him.

Sirius gasped as he became visible.

Severus jumped and swore at the sight of him. Clearly, he knew exactly who he was looking at. The look on his face was everything right now. 

good 

let him be confused

he can get in line

Sirius' mouth had fallen open. "Moony, what the shit?!"

Remus felt a bit bad then about doing what he had done without giving Sirius any warning, but, at the rate they were going, it was only going to be a matter of time before someone else had found out anyway. Might as well be someone who was already hiding something; someone who, until a few minutes ago, he had trusted with his life.

"I did tell you to stay in my office," Remus said to Sirius.

He looked back at Severus. "So, as you can see, we've got a few things to sort out. Shall we start with accidental time travel, or would you rather tell me exactly where you've hidden a murdering fugitive?"

Chapter Text

Hermione did not visit Hogsmeade on their next weekend. She sent Ron off with Seamus and Dean, and managed to get away from Harry (who wasn’t allowed to go) and Sirius (who wasn’t supposed to be in this decade at all) by claiming she had work to do in the library. Everybody believed her. 

Wearily, she supposed that she’d have to use the time turner later and do the hours again so that she wouldn’t fall behind on her schoolwork. Was this what it was like to be an adult? Stressed and tired all the time? Professor Lupin certainly looked both. 

Once she’d established that Harry and Sirius weren’t following her under the Invisibility Cloak, she set off for McGonagall’s office. 

McGonagall fussed over her a bit, as usual, because she was probably worried that Hermione had taken on too much. But she could handle it. She’d always managed extra classes and reading before, and she had this streak of stubbornness (probably the reason she’d been put in Gryffindor over Ravenclaw, really) that insisted she see it through. After all, no one in the history of Hogwarts had ever taken every single optional OWL and she wanted to be the first. 

In addition to all that, she’d agreed to be part of a really fascinating research project at the Department of Mysteries when they issued her with the Time Turner. The three Unspeakables who specialised in the Time Room had asked her to come in periodically so they could monitor the effects of repeated small doses of time travel on a person of her age. They couldn’t seem to agree on what they thought would happen, but it did make a certain kind of sense that an hour here and an hour there would add up over a school year. Would her body age faster than normal? Or slower, perhaps? There was just so much they didn’t know. 

Hermione had been given a special Ministry of Magic visitor badge which allowed her to enter the Department of Mysteries. It read Research Assistant Granger . She wouldn’t admit it to anyone, because she’d sound like a child who’d been given a sticker at a doctor’s appointment, but it made her feel very slightly important and she loved it.

McGonagall kept it in a vintage biscuit tin in her office; not that she thought Hermione was going to run around waving it under people’s noses, but it was technically a security risk. Once she was satisfied Hermione wasn’t going to keel over or explode, she handed it to her and threw some Floo powder on the fire. 

“I’ll see you later, Miss Granger,” she said, and returned to her marking. 

“The Ministry of Magic,” Hermione said clearly, and made herself stop grinning before she got ash in her mouth. Then she stepped in, was spun around- like being in one of those teacup rides at the fair, except the spinning went in all directions, and it was hot- and fell out into the bright light of the Atrium. 

The elderly wizard who’d stepped out of the fireplace to her left, as elegantly as if he’d just walked through a doorway, gave her a scathing look. She’d have to get better at using Floo. Perhaps she would be eventually, once she’d used it enough. 

She ended up in the same lift as him after passing the fountain and he raised a long, knobbly finger to the switchboard. 

“Which floor, young lady?” he asked, glancing at her Muggle jeans and trainers, and not appearing impressed. 

“Level nine, please,” she said with a pleasant smile. “The Department of Mysteries.”

She enjoyed the way his bushy grey eyebrows shot up. 

Once the door opened, she strode off confidently towards the black door and decided not to give the judgmental old coot another thought. It opened for her and she went in. 

Unspeakable Filby was waiting for her, her pale face made even paler in the dark room and given a bluish pallor by the torches on either side of each door. Hermione thought, not for the first time, that Filby could have been the lead role in a Tim Burton film. Until she opened her mouth. 

“Oh, hi, Hermione,” she said brightly, her accent straight out of Belgravia. “How are you?”

“Not bad,” Hermione said automatically. 

People thought Hermione was posh, but she had nothing on Filby. She suspected the young Unspeakable came from either a very wealthy Muggle family, or elite Purebloods like the Malfoys. Her robes were rumpled and smudged with what Hermione hoped was dust (as opposed to someone’s ashes or something) but they seemed expensive. 

She looked and sounded about twenty, but it wouldn’t have surprised Hermione to find out she was actually eighty and had tinkered with time so much she was now ageing backwards. However, despite the aristocratic accent, Filby was always nice to Hermione and treated her like an adult. 

“Wells and Hu are in the Death Chamber today,” she said. “Take my arm?”

Hermione held onto Filby’s outstretched elbow; she knew how the antechamber worked. 

“Unspeakable Filby and Research Assistant Granger for the Death Chamber, please,” she announced, managing to sound like she was ordering from the afternoon tea menu at the Savoy.

The door she’d come in through closed, and the room spun into a high speed, black and blue blur. When it stopped, the door in front of them looked just like all the others, but Filby didn’t hesitate before striding towards it. 

The Death Chamber wasn’t what Hermione had expected. Instead of the morbid conclusions she’d jumped to, the room looked like a small Roman amphitheatre, with steps and benches that went all the way to the bottom. There was a raised platform with a tall, pointed stone archway, and a ragged black curtain hung across it, rippling gently in an unseen breeze. There was something... unsettling... about it that Hermione couldn’t quite put her finger on. 

She gave a little shiver; it was colder here than the rest of the building. 

“Oh, don’t worry; the Veil’s perfectly harmless,” Filby said. “Unless you go through it. Don’t do that.”

“Why?” Hermione asked. 

“You’ll die,” Filby said, with her usual level of inappropriate perkiness. 

“Right,” Hermione said nervously. “I won’t do that, then.”

They began to descend the steep steps towards the archway. Hu and Wells were standing at a safe distance from it, jabbering at each other and pointing to the various sheets of papers in their hands. 

“Oh, shitsticks,” Filby said, as they reached the bottom. 

Hermione gazed up at the archway. She had absolutely no desire to fling herself through it and perish. She didn’t even want to get any closer to it than she already was. 

“What’s wrong?” she asked, blinking. 

“Can you hear anything coming from the Veil?” Filby demanded, suddenly turning quite serious and planting herself between Hermione and the archway. 

Hermione looked at her in alarm. 

“Voices, whispering; that sort of thing,” Filby said. 

She concentrated, and was very glad to hear nothing at all besides shuffling paper, and Wells and Hu arguing over phoenix feathers, of all things. 

“No,” she said. 

Filby sighed in relief. “Oh, good; you haven’t been touched by death. Me neither, although I occasionally wish I had, just so I could study the Veil a little better. That’s an awful thing to say, isn’t it?”

“Um,” Hermione said. 

“Wells,” she said loudly, cutting through his conversation. “Don’t you think we should have checked Hermione wasn’t Deathtouched before letting her anywhere near the Veil?”

Wells looked up. He was a sprightly, bordering on manic, elderly man with really wild white hair but, again, also seemed happy to treat Hermione like she was one of them. He reminded her of her granddad, who had been a pilot in World War 2. 

“Oh, Merlin, I didn’t think of that!” he exclaimed in alarm. “I am so sorry, my dear.”

“It’s okay, since I don’t appear to be,” she said. “What exactly do you mean by Deathtouched, anyway?”

Hu- a quiet man in his forties and by far the most sensible of the three- sighed. “It generally means that you have witnessed death- that is to say, watched a person die. In some cases, a miraculous escape from something such as a fatal accident may count, but neither of those are something any of us would wish on a child your age. We normally screen for it very thoroughly-” he shot Wells an exasperated look- “when we recruit Unspeakables but, for some reason, nobody thought to do that with you. Probably because we thought you’d never be anywhere near the Death Chamber.”

Hermione was predisposed to like Hu because his husband was a Muggle dentist like her parents. He was from Limehouse and occasionally slipped into a more obviously Cockney accent when he got excited about things, which did not happen nearly as often as Wells or Filby. Aside from the fact that he was obsessed with Time and carried a Muggle screwdriver around with him everywhere, he was the least eccentric Unspeakable she’d met so far. 

“And why would it be a problem for me to be Deathtouched?” she asked. 

“It is both an advantage and a disadvantage,” he said. “Those we call Deathtouched can hear the Veil or, possibly, beings beyond the veil. Opinions are divided. But they present to some people as insidious whispers, beckoning you to enter-”

“I was ready to tackle her!” Filby interrupted helpfully. 

“However ,” he continued, “I am very pleased that that is not the case for you. Or else we’d have had to leave the chamber straight away. Wells and I are Deathtouched, but we’re so used to it, it doesn’t bother us. It’s like having the television on in the background.” 

“Right,” Hermione said. “So what is actually behind the Veil?” 

“Death,” Filby said immediately. 

“Time ,” Hu argued. 

“We really don’t know,” Wells said, with a pointed glance at the other two. 

Hermione looked between the three ‘adults’ in exasperation. 

“Well, which is it?” she asked. 

“Time and death are the same thing,” Filby said cheerfully. “Time kills everything in the end.”

Everyone went silent after that. Hermione risked another glance at the archway. Now she knew a little more about it, she liked it even less. 

And even though they’d established she wasn’t going to be harmed unless she flung herself through it, she would have preferred to leave the room and carry on in the rooms she was used to. 

Normally, Hermione’s check-ups happened in the Time Room (which was distracting, with all the clocks and the pretty hummingbird in its never-ending life cycle) or the department office (which was somehow even more distracting, with books and stacks of paper and half-finished experiments and sandwiches everywhere. It wasn’t unusual for things to explode or the whole room to be evacuated on very short notice. 

“Where’s Unspeakable Arsenyeva?” Hermione asked finally. “And why am I in the Death Chamber today?”

The department Mediwitch was the only other Unspeakable she knew by name, because she was the one who actually performed the diagnostic spells to track Hermione’s aging and health. Wells, Filby and Hu just seemed to fire off excited questions and get in her way, while Hermione tried her best to cooperate. 

Apparently, the Department for Experimental Charms was only slightly more dangerous than the Department of Mysteries (they had two Mediwizards on call at all times), but Arsenyeva was kept very busy. 

Hu sighed again. 

“There’s been another accident in the Brain Room,” he said. “She’s running late, so we thought we’d try and finish up in here before you arrived.”

“What’s in the Brain Room?” Hermione asked immediately. “And what were you doing? What do phoenix feathers have to do with the archway?”

“So many questions,” Wells said with a smile. “You’re as bad as Filby. One thing at a time, Miss Granger. I’m afraid I can’t tell you anything about the Brain Room, as that’s classified. We are only permitted to discuss matters that relate directly to your use of the time turner with you. Until you graduate from Hogwarts and come to work with us, of course.”

Hermione grinned. While she was keeping her options open, and the future was too far ahead to really think about yet, working in the Department of Mysteries was quite high on her list of potential careers. And she was pretty sure the three Unspeakables present would put in a good word for her, assuming they didn’t blow themselves or the entire Ministry up before then. 

“Let’s just say that the Brain Room is one hundred percent more literal than you’d expect,” Filby added with a wink. 

“Oh,” she said, intrigued and also mildly disturbed, and filed that one away. 

“As to what we’re doing in here,” Hu said, trying to tidy his pile of papers, “we’re- oh.”

He glanced at Wells. “Can we tell her this? Exactly how classified is this?”

“Well, it does relate directly to Time Turners...” Wells said, apparently thinking out loud. “Perhaps if we’re not too specific-” he dropped his voice to a conspiratorial whisper- “and Head Unspeakable Croaker doesn’t hear about it...”

“I promise,” Hermione said quickly. 

“Excellent,” Wells beamed. “I do so hate having to stunt the enquiring mind. Have at it, Hu!”

“Right,” Hu said, hesitating and running his fingers through his hair now he was on the spot. “Well, as you know, the Time Turners we use have enough sand in them for an hour’s traversal at a time, and the devices can’t be used to go further back than five hours, despite decades of research on the subject.”

“Why not?” Hermione interrupted. After all, she had a shellshocked boy from the seventies waiting at Hogwarts to return to his proper life and, as she was the one with the Time Turner and the brains, it clearly fell to her to make it happen. 

“Um, the short answer is that there isn’t enough sand in the hourglasses, and that it loses its magical properties over time. Each turn of the hourglass recharges the sand- did you learn about kinetic energy at primary school? I have to say, explaining this to a Muggleborn is so much easier. You wouldn’t believe the trouble Filby and some of the others had understanding the concept.”

Filby stuck her tongue out at him while Hermione nodded. She had learned the basics of physics at primary school, which was handy. Honestly, it astounded her how little wizards understood about the world sometimes. 

“Why don’t you just-” she began. 

“Make a bigger hourglass?” Hu said with a grin. “Believe me, that was the first thing we tried. Head Unspeakable Croaker still has the scars.”

He stopped short and, in unison, all three of them glanced guiltily at the doorway at the top of the room, in case they’d summoned him by saying his name. Hermione held back a sigh; it was just like being back at school with the boys. 

Once Hu had established Head Unspeakable Croaker wasn’t going to arrive and put them all in detention, he carried on. 

“We couldn’t find or make a magical receptacle strong enough to contain any more sand than you see in the time turners,” he said. “And so it doesn’t matter if you turn it more than five times; that is the furthest back it has the power to send you. Anyway, the sand loses its magical properties eventually, and needs refilling. Where do you think the sand comes from?”

Hermione blinked in surprise and ran the conversation back through her head at high speed. 

“Well, you’re in front of the Veil,” she said hesitantly, “and that’s the only thing in this room. But I thought you died if you went through it?” 

“Very well done, Miss Granger,” Wells cut in, beaming at her. “ I’m afraid you would, as would Filby.” 

The idea that a senior Unspeakable like Wells was impressed with her gave her a warm glow inside. 

“Because you aren’t Deathtouched,” Hu explained. “Those who are can not only hear the whispers, but may under very specific circumstances, enter the Veil and return unscathed. And on the other side of it is what I can only describe as an infinite grey desert, inhabited by flocks of parasitic spirits called psychopomps. Do you know what a psychopomp is?”

Hermione shook her head slowly. She knew plenty of words that started with ‘psycho’ and assumed it was something to do with the mind, but she hadn’t heard that particular one.

“I would have been astounded if you had,” Hu said. “A psychopomp is an entity which carries the soul into the afterlife, whatever it may be. They inhabit the desert beyond the veil and, unless you are protected adequately, they will descend upon you as you enter and shred your soul from your body immediately. Off it goes to the next great adventure, and you die.”

Hermione glanced at the Veil and took an involuntary step away from it. 

“Is that what makes the whispering?” she asked. “The psychopomps?”

“The general consensus is yes,” he said. “But we don’t really know for certain. The sand in the time turners comes from behind the Veil, so we do have to go through occasionally to refill them.”

“It’s just an endless desert full of sand that you use for time travelling?” she asked. 

“Essentially, yes,” Wells said, with a faraway look of wonder on his face. “It is Limbo. Silver dunes that stretch as far as the eye can see. It truly is something to behold.”

Cogs began to turn in Hermione’s mind. So, to go back further than five hours, surely it was a simple matter of getting more sand and a magically powerful enough container? If it was that easy, though, they’d have already succeeded. No reason not to try, though... 

“How do you get through the Veil and back again?” she asked innocently. 

Hu hesitated, grimacing. 

“Oh, come on, Hu,” Filby said. “Hermione’s not even Deathtouched. It’s not like she can just wander through the Veil, come back with handfuls of abyssal sand, and fuck with the laws of time and space, anyway!” 

Hermione opened her eyes wide. “I just find it all so fascinating,” she said, which wasn’t actually a lie.  

“I’ll explain it in broad terms,” Wells said with a conspiratorial wink. “Then Hu’s conscience is clear.”

Hu shrugged. Hermione suspected they did not often get to explain their work to outsiders. They were called Unspeakables, after all. 

“The opposite of a psychopomp is an entity which guards the soul; we call it a psychophylax. And a phoenix, in addition to all its other miraculous abilities and properties, just so happens to be a psychophylax. Because of its eternal life cycle, it exists outside of the natural order of time, and so it can pass freely through the Veil. If one will consent to accompany you, you may gather abyssal sand and return without losing your soul.”

“Oh, so that’s why you were talking about phoenix feathers when we came in!” Hermione exclaimed, pleased with herself. 

“Yes,” Wells said. “We floated and swiftly dismissed the idea that holding a phoenix feather might confer enough protection to one’s soul in the absence of an entire phoenix. We used to have a departmental phoenix, you see. But, due to budget cuts, we now have to share Fido with The Guild of Master Potioneers and send him to Ollivander regularly, so he can harvest loose feathers for wand making. And the Master Potioneers are always hogging him!”

Hu and Filby hummed in agreement, nodding and pulling faces.

Hermione giggled. 

“It’s no laughing matter,” Wells said, mock-sternly. “It is very inconvenient indeed.”

Just then, the door opened and footsteps sounded at the top of the room. Wells, Filby and Hu spun around in panic, practically leaping out of their skins, assuming it was Croaker coming to punish them for sharing departmental secrets with a thirteen-year-old girl. 

But it wasn’t. 

The woman who began to march down the stairs towards them was in her thirties, and had dark hair twisted into an intricate plait so long she could have sat on it, which swayed from side to side behind her like the tail on a grumpy cat. And she wore a patch over her right eye. An actual eyepatch. 

“Why are you in this room?” Unspeakable Arsenyeva demanded, with a faint accent Hermione assumed was Russian. “I hate this room.”

“Privyet, Yulia!” Filby called out cheerfully. 

“Hello, Filby,” Arsenyeva replied. There was a smudge of something pale green and sparkling on her forehead above her working eye. “And the rest of you.”

“Ah, Arsenyeva, did you know you’ve got slime on your face?” Wells asked as the Mediwitch reached the bottom of the amphitheatre. 

“I’m not surprised,” she grumbled as he pointed to it. “Fucking brains…” 

She raised her left hand to her face and snapped her fingers. The slime disappeared. 

“I wish you’d teach me that,” Filby said. “I’m no good at nonverbal magic.”

Arsenyeva grinned at last. “To do nonverbal magic, you need to be able to stop talking once in a while,” she said, but good-naturedly. 

Filby stuck her tongue out but didn’t seem offended. 

“I am not carrying out Miss Granger’s check-up in here,” Arsenyeva said flatly. “I can’t stand the whispering. Do you have any idea how many people I have seen die?”

Hermione’s jaw dropped. 

“And why were you all looking so guilty when I came in? Actually, don’t answer that. I don’t want to know.”

There was silence for a moment. 

“Sorry, Arsenyeva,” Wells said. “I forgot how uncomfortable the Veil makes you. Let’s head to the Time Room.”

So they did. Hermione perched on the edge of a table while Arsenyeva waved a slender, wand-like instrument over her that managed to look as if it were made of glass and pure gold at the same time. 

Arsenyeva muttered under her breath, the other three Unspeakables craned their necks to watch and generally got underfoot, and Hermione gazed at the hundreds of clocks ticking and whirring away. How much abyssal sand was in this room, anyway? And was it a simple matter of finding a bigger clock if you wanted to go more than five hours back?

“Well, there are no signs of ageing yet,” Arsenyeva said finally, making the measuring device- whatever it was- disappear into her robes. “Your organs are fine. Your brain isn’t swelling against the inside of your skull, or turning to porridge. You seem perfectly normal and healthy, if tired.”

Arsenyeva did have a particular way of putting things, although it was less alarming when she was happening to someone else. 

The word ‘tired’ made Hermione start yawning like an idiot, and she covered her mouth with her hand. “A bit,” she admitted. 

“Even if you get no adverse effects, you shouldn’t keep this up long term,” Arsenyeva said seriously. “You’ll burn yourself out and, trust me, you’ll spend most of your adult life being tired. You should enjoy yourself while you can.”

“Tea and biscuits before you go,” Hu said, a little more cheerfully. “That’ll give you a bit of energy while Wells runs diagnostics on your Time Turner.”

Beside him floated a circular tray of tea, in mugs that had bad Unspeakable jokes on them like ‘Time for a cuppa’ and ‘Don’t clock it up’.

Hermione took one at random and began to drink after passing her Time Turner to Wells. Filby persuaded her to eat two chocolate biscuits while Wells retired to a nearby desk and started humming as he tinkered with it. 

Afterwards, Filby walked her to the Atrium, cheerfully nattering away about things she didn’t seem to require an answer to. 

As she tumbled out of the Floo into McGonagall’s office, Hermione realised something. Aside from the small matter of not being Deathtouched, and therefore unable to enter the Veil herself, she had- quite amazingly- an advantage over Wells, Hu and Filby. 

Was there a way to tell for certain if someone was Deathtouched other than throwing them into the Veil and seeing if they came back out again? Assuming there was, and that she could somehow sneak them into the Ministry of Magic after hours, they had better access to a phoenix than the Unspeakables. 

Dumbledore had one in this very castle, and she had the vague idea that it was probably quite fond of Harry after their bonding experience in the Chamber of Secrets last year. So that was the time travelling sand taken care of. 

She’d have to work out what sort of magical container would be strong enough to store the sand required to take Sirius back to the seventies. And how large would it have to be? Say, the size of a grandfather clock? A car? A telephone box?

Was she, Hermione Granger, a generally law-abiding person, really about to do as Filby had suggested and wander through the Veil, come back with handfuls of abyssal sand, and... mess... with the laws of time and space ?

The thought made her giddy. But she hadn’t ruled it out. The worst part was, when she told the boys that if they wanted to send Sirius back to his time, they were going to have to steal Dumbledore’s phoenix, sneak into the Department of Mysteries, pass through the Veil, fight off psychopomps while holding onto said phoenix and collect a couple of buckets of sand, they would jump at the chance. 

They were all doomed. 

Chapter Text

Sirius stared at Snivellus Snape with as much contempt as his overriding surprise and outrage would allow. At least the surprise went both ways; Snape’s mouth was hanging open in a loose O shape. 

He had aged about as well as Remus had, although his hair was still jet black and greasy – obviously, nineteen years was not long enough for the discovery of shampoo. But his eyes were tired, and his skin was starting to show the lines of years lived. Especially the crease between his eyebrows from the permanent scowl.

What the fuck did Remus see in him? 

Sirius shuddered and pushed the thought to the back of his mind. 

“Black,” Snape managed eventually, still slack jawed. “You’re here – alive.”

“Sorry to be the bearer of bad news.”

“You’re… younger…”

“Jealous?”

“Of losing nineteen years of my life and coming back as a practically pre-pubescent child? Hardly.”

“Yes, because clearly the passing years have been so kind to you. You haven’t even managed to leave Hogwarts!”

“I –“ 

“That is enough!” Remus interjected. “Both of you.”

He pinched the bridge of his nose and closed his eyes. “I have too much to be dealing with already. Do not add me having to take you to see Poppy because I rammed both your heads into a wall to my list.”

“I’m sorry; you’re right, Remus,” Snape said, placing a gentle hand on Remus’ shoulder. 

The simple gesture sparked something primal in Sirius and, without having time to process what he was doing, he lunged at Snape. 

“Get your filthy hand off him!”

If he’d had time to think about it, he might have considered that Snape and Remus were now fully grown men, and he was back in his scrawny thirteen-year-old phase. What he couldn’t have known was that years of war had left both men prone to reacting unpredictably to sudden movements, especially when they were directed at them. Remus threw an arm into Sirius’ stomach, pushing all the air from his lungs and sending him flying backwards. 

Apparently, Remus hadn’t lost any strength in his old age.

“Stupefy!” 

And Snivellus had got quicker in his. 

Sirius hit the hard stone wall of the office and slumped to the floor. 

He came round to Remus holding his chin, tilting his head from left to right.

“Sirius? Are you okay?”

“Ow.” His head and his coccyx ached. 

“I’m really sorry, I shouldn’t have lashed out. Force — force of habit, sorry.”

Sirius blinked, looking into Remus’ eyes. The skin around them might have aged, but his irises were as bright as they had always been, hazel with flecks of almost gold. 

“I should have known better than to surprise a werewolf, I suppose.” 

Remus gave a shallow laugh. “You really should have…”

“What’s his excuse?” Sirius jerked his head in the direction of Snape, who was sitting, staring out the window.

 “I’m sure that being jumped by a supposedly dead Black is cause enough for self-defense,” Snape sneered without even looking around. 

“Yes, nothing says self-defense like a fully-grown man stunning an unarmed thirteen-year-old…”

“It’s hardly my fault you didn’t think to draw your wand.”

“Do not immediately start arguing again…” Remus put two hands up between them. “Please. Or I will have to stun you both.”

“He could at least apologise,” Sirius sulked, moving to stand again only to get another shooting pain up his tail bone. He rubbed his bum and winced. 

“Very well — I’m terribly sorry that you’re a jealous halfwit. Now, Remus, shall we go back to the conversation we were having before the child woke up? We must continue our discussion about Lily. I'm afraid you are right. She is potentially a danger to others, but more likely she is a danger to herself and we must stop her from doing anything else rash. We can deal with this —” 

He waved a lazy hand towards Sirius.

“— Issue once we have got her somewhere safe.”

“What!” gaped Sirius. “What am I supposed to do in the meantime?” 

“Keep your head down,” Remus told him. "I’ll talk to Harry and Ron, and make sure they keep you out of trouble.”

Snape barked out a short, humourless laugh. “You’re seriously suggesting that Potter is the best person for that job? Why not just take him to Minerva? I’m sure she’d be thrilled to know her star pupil is back from the dead. Even if it is several years later than expected.”

“Because,” Remus took a patient breath, “If I do, I will be assigned as babysitter, and as we’ve already agreed, we need to find Lily first. Harry already knows about Sirius’ existence and, while I know he has a penchant for trouble, I trust him to keep Sirius a secret.”

“But what am I supposed to do?” asked Sirius indignantly. “You can’t expect me to just sit in their dorm.”

“That is exactly what I expect you to do,” Remus snapped, finally losing what was left of his temper. “Unless you fancy explaining to the authorities the reason you went missing all those years ago? I bet the Unspeakables would love to have a good prod at you. There can’t be too many wizards who have jumped forward in time while trying to become illegal animagi to help their unregistered werewolf friend.”

“I –”

“I met a lovely Unspeakable called Filby at the beginning of term,” Remus continued, his voice brightening. “Three of them  were visiting the school — never did work out why — we spent a long time at dinner chatting about her latest experiments that involved sending highly trained raccoons back increasing periods of time. She explained, in more detail than I needed, how for every jump beyond two hours the raccoons got more and more muddled, until they couldn’t even hold a teacup the right way up anymore. I'm sure she would love to have a look at you and see what sort of condition you're really —”

“No, thanks, you’ve made your point.” 

“So, you’ll go back to the Gryffindor dormitory?” asked Remus.

“Fine, yes.”

“And wait until I come and find you?”

“Like a good little boy,” Snape sneered with a nasty smile.

“Oh, fuck off, twat.” 

Sirius grabbed the invisibility cloak from the floor and stormed out the office, slamming the door behind him. 

He walked past the stairs that would take him back to Gryffindor Tower and down a corridor without giving much consideration to where he was going, only looking up to dodge the student he heard coming in the opposite direction. Before he knew it, he’d ended up at the statue of the one-eyed witch. He considered it for a brief second before deciding that anywhere was better than the castle right now; it wasn’t like Remus was going to come looking for him in the next few hours — he had lessons to teach. 

Sirius breathed in the cold, crisp fresh air as the door to Honeydukes closed behind him with a tinkle. It was nice to be outside and know how you got there. He looked around. Unlike the people inside the castle, the buildings in Hogsmeade had barely changed in the intervening years. As well as Honeydukes (whose chocolate still tasted just as good), there was Zonko’s and the Post Office and he could see the Three Broomsticks in the distance, a lazy trail of smoke drifting out of its chimney. He walked carefully along the pavement, dodging the pedestrians and the puddles, wondering where to go, until he decided to see whether the Shrieking Shack was still there. And whether there was any sign of it still being in use. 

It was still there— and looking more abandoned than ever. But much to Sirius’ surprise, when he jimmied open the door and slid inside, it was obvious that he was the first visitor in a long time. A thick layer of dust covered every surface and cobwebs hung low in the doorways. He poked around the house a little longer, wondering where Remus went now for his transformations if not here, but got bored quickly and headed back down the road towards Hogsmead with the intention of somehow sneaking a Butterbeer from the Three Broomsticks. 

He was making his way towards the door, along the very edge of the path to avoid bumping into the people going in and out of the pub, when he heard a rustling to his left. It was coming from the bushes. He peered into them, then, through a gap in the branches he saw bright red hair and heard a voice, unmistakable despite the string of expletives it was saying. Sirius couldn’t remember a time he had ever heard Lily Evans swear. 

Sirius crept around the other side of the bush from the noise, wand out. It was Lily. She was wearing robes that were too big for her, her hair was a wild mess of tangles and had caught on one of the branches she had been creeping through, which Sirius presumed was the cause of her swearing. She was tugging at the strands as her too long sleeve caught on a different branch, drawing another round of swearing.

“Evans?” Sirius said very quietly. 

Too quietly it turned out, as she continued her struggle without looking around. 

“Evans!” he said again.

Lily jumped and scrambled backwards, yanking herself free from the bush in the process so that she fell with a thud onto her bum. 

“I’m not — It’s not — ” she said in a panic, scrabbling backwards without getting to her feet. She pushed her hair out of her eyes, “I…”

She looked upwards at Sirius. And screamed. 

Sirius jumped to cover Lily’s mouth before anyone heard, but he wasn’t quick enough. 

“Everything okay?” a voice called through the greenery. 

Sirius locked eyes with Lily, pleading with her to be quiet. She stared back at him, petrified, but he did feel her mouth close against his palm. 

“Hello?” 

The concerned Samaritan started to make their way towards where they were crouched on the ground. 

Sirius cautiously removed his hand from Lily’s mouth. Run, he mouthed. 

She didn’t need to be told twice. 

He scrambled through the hedge behind her, ignoring the branches that whipped his face and scratched his hands, following her until she led him to the train station. It wasn’t clear whether Lily had forgotten about him in her panic to run from the stranger, or was ignoring him in the hopes that he just went away, but she didn’t slow down or look back when she reached the station building. He watched as she snuck through the door, then, checking no one was nearby, he did the same. 

“Who are you?” Lily asked, turning on him. “And what do you want?”

A trembling wand quivered a couple of inches from Sirius’ face. Lily was holding it at arm’s length, a mixture of fury and fear painted across her face. 

She was older too, beneath the dirt and the grime. Lines creased the skin around her eyes even more so than they had Remus’ or Snape’s. She looked like she had aged twice over. Sirius supposed that’s what years in Azkaban would do to you. 

“Lily,” he said, gently easing the wand down. “It’s me, Sirius.”

“Sirius died nineteen years ago.” The wand was straight back in his face. “So let’s try that again: Who. Are. You?”

“I promise, Evans!” Sirius said desperately, trying to work out what could make her believe him. “It’s me! Err… James and I tease you about the fact that you have a stuffed toy hippo called Humphrey that you still bring to Hogwarts with you. James calls you Ginger Snap because he fancies the pants off you but doesn’t know how to —”

“James is DEAD,” Lily shouted, throwing her arms in the air. Sparks flew from the end of her wand, thankfully missing Sirius’ face, but catching the end of his hair and singeing it. “He died twelve years ago!”

“I know! Sorry! We used to tease you, is what I meant,” Sirius corrected himself, cursing the fact that all his memories were still only from a few days ago. 

“Okay, err…” He scoured his memories for more about Lily. “I caught you kissing that Ravenclaw boy in the charms corridor! Neither of us have ever mentioned it, but I know you know I saw you, because you wouldn’t look at me for a week after it happened.”

“I –“ Lily’s arms fell to her side and cocked her head to one side, looking Sirius up and down. 

“You’re too young to be Sirius,” she said cautiously, “too small — you were always taller than me. And where’s that ridiculous piercing you got? Where did you go? What happened to you?”

“Here. I went here . That night with the storm. The night I disappeared. As far as I am concerned, that happened yesterday. Yesterday morning I went down for breakfast with James and Moony and Pete, and James tried to impress you by wittering on endlessly about how long his Transfiguration essay was. Moony finally shut him up by suggesting —”

“— suggesting that he was overcompensating for the length of something else,” Lily finished the sentence for him. “I remember…”

A smile suddenly lit up her face. “I remember!” she cried, possibly louder than was wise considering neither of them were supposed to be there. 

“What happened to you?” Lily asked, “The boys, they thought… They looked for you for so long. The whole school was looking for you for days, and even after that the boys kept looking every night for months. They never told anyone what had happened. I only found out what the three of you had been up to when James told me he was an Animagus a few years later.”

“They managed then?” Sirius asked, agape. “It worked for them?” 

“It worked, yes. But James was never the same again. He blamed himself for what happened to you. And now here you are, standing in front of me, even younger than the last time I saw you.”

“Yeah. Yeah, here I am.”

“What happened to you?” Lily asked for a third time, desperately. As though the answer could fix everything that had gone on in the intervening years. 

“I don’t know! I’m sorry! One moment I’m standing in the pouring rain with James and Peter next to me. Next thing I know is I’m in the same place but in a completely different time, and a different fucking body! I blink and everything has changed: Remus is older, you’re older, Snape’s teaching, you and James had a kid, and James is fucking DEAD!” Sirius’ voice rose until he was shouting. Lily backed away from him scared, despite her obvious advantage. 

He tried to calm himself down a bit. 

“I don’t know what happened to me. If I had to guess, I would say it was something to do with the storm. Remus has said that he will help me work it out. But not until they’ve found you and —”

“You saw Remus? How is he? Who’s they?” Lily fired the questions at Sirius in rapid succession.

“They is Remus and Snape.” Just the name made Sirius’ nose wrinkle in disgust, but Lily visibly relaxed. “Remus is fine, I guess? I haven’t had the chance to speak to him much, he was too preoccupied with finding you. Did you know he's with Snape now?”

Lily’s eyebrows shooting into her hairline answered the question before she said a word. 

“No. No I didn’t. You don’t really get a chance to hear much of the gossip from a cell in Azkaban.”

“Oh. Right. No, no I guess not. Sorry. How… How did you end up in Azkaban?”

Storm clouds gathered over Lily’s face. Sirius worried she might lash out again. 

“Peter,” she said, deathly quiet. 

“Sorry?” Sirius spluttered; she couldn’t mean their Peter.

“He sold us out to You-Know-Who.”

“Peter? Peter Pettigrew? Became a Death Eater?”

“An undercover one, yes. And he sold us out after we had to go into hiding.” 

“Why did you have to go into hiding?” 

Lily gave an exasperated sigh, accompanied by an eye roll. 

“Well I’m sorry I haven’t been around for the last nineteen years to keep up with everything. I promise you I would much rather Remus had decided to help me before he sorted you out. That way I could get to grips with everything that happened as it happened! But, sadly, that’s not a luxury I’ve been given at this point.”

“Fine. Come upstairs. At least there’s somewhere to sit up there.”

Lily led Sirius to the upper floor of the station building and they sat on two dust covered wooden chairs opposite each other. She told him the whole story. How You-Know-Who had become more and more powerful, how there was a prophecy, how Peter was named secret keeper because everyone would assume it was Remus. How he had betrayed them, and You-Know-Who himself had turned up to kill Harry in person, and James had been killed in the process. How You-Know-Who hadn't been seen since that night.

The story came out in broken bits, as if Lily was trying to piece together the pieces of a puzzle. Sometimes it was hard to keep track, but Sirius didn’t want to interrupt what little train of thought she had. 

But that last night with James was clearly branded on her memory. She repeated the last words James said to her word for word, then broke down into sobs.

Sirius wasn’t sure what to do; he’d never been good when girls cried, so instead he just waited quietly until eventually, she looked back up at him. Her eyes were bloodshot and tear tracks ran through the dirt on her face, but she wasn’t sad any more. 

“I hunted Peter down not long after,” Lily said, quiet rage coating every word. “I confronted him in the middle of a Muggle street. It was rash and stupid, and I knew he would have had some escape plan. But I was so angry! So angry that he would betray James and me that way. That he would stoop so low as to try to bring about the death of a baby. My. BABY. I threw the first hex, but rather than retaliating, he just… blew himself up. And half the street. He killed thirteen people, and made it look like I’d done it.

“I was in so much shock that I didn’t even react when the Aurors came. I never got a fair trial; they only saw his betrayal as my motivation. Sev and Remus were the only ones who believed me. But Sev couldn’t risk his position as spy. And no one was ever going to believe a werewolf. Two months ago, Sev finally helped me escape. He’d been working on the plan for years. And now I’m here, trying to see my son. The sooner that happens, the sooner I’ll go sit somewhere quiet until we can clear my name. Then Remus can help you get back to when you should be. 

“So,” she finished, fixing him with a meaningful stare. “Are you going to help me or not?”

Chapter Text

Remus ran a hand through his hair, letting out a long breath as Snape’s office door slammed shut behind Sirius.

shit

He shouldn’t have yelled, not like that, not so loud - not at Sirius - but he had, and now there would be no taking it back.

He leaned against the chair in front of Snape’s desk and started rubbing his arm, trying to calm himself down.

Severus took a cautious step toward him, studying his face in the dim light. “You haven’t slept.”

“No,” Remus said, shaking his head, “I haven’t.”

“You should go lie down and get some rest.”

Remus shook his head again. “Afraid that’s not an option. Not right now. I need to figure this out. We have to find Lily, and I have to find a way to get Sirius back. I have to find a way to get him home.”

“If you leave him to his own devices long enough, I’m sure he’ll find another thunderstorm to stumble out into.”

Remus shot a glare at Severus. “I see Sirius isn’t the only one who never grew up.”

“Oh, come on Remus, he’s the one who-”

“Who got himself lost? Who was out there experimenting in the rain? He did this to himself, so we should just let him figure it all out on his own now, is that it?”

“That is not what I was implying.”

“Yes, it was. You know damn well that was what you meant.”

“Remus-“

“You know what, Severus, I suppose I should thank you, after all this time, for finally showing me the truth - for showing me how you really feel, about me and everyone else.”

Snape’s eyes narrowed. “What is that supposed to mean?”

“It means you should have told me about Lily. You knew where she was and you-“

“Remus, I promised her I wouldn’t-“

“Stop,” he said, shaking his head again, unable to look at Snape, “just stop.”

He was so tired of all of this. He let out another breath and kept his eyes on the floor. “I can’t do this anymore, Severus. I can’t . . . I can’t do us anymore, not like this, not if we keep-”

“You don’t mean that.”

Remus looked up. “Yes, I do.”

“No, you don’t. You’re tired and you’re upset.”

“Don’t fucking tell me what I am, Severus, and don’t fucking stand here and pretend to suddenly give a shit about me again.”

“Remus, I have always cared about you.”

“No, you haven’t.”

“Yes, I have. You know I have. Don’t act like this.”

Remus was still rubbing at his arm. “I always hoped things had changed, that maybe I had finally helped you get Lily out of your system, that maybe I had given you a reason to move on, but now she’s back, and you two just picked up right where you left off, didn’t you? Well, fuck me for being here, and getting in your way.”

“Remus, you’re not in our-“

“Stop, Severus. I don’t want to hear it. I don’t need your excuses. I know exactly how much you always-“

“How do you think I feel? Seeing him back here again, with you - knowing what you meant to each other back then. Do you think I find this any easier?”

“Oh, for fuck’s sake, Severus! He’s a child!”

“So were you, once. When you were sixteen, he was everything to you.”

Remus was quiet for a long moment, not knowing, at first, what to say.

“He was, yes, but, Severus, you were everything to me now. You were my future. You were my proof that people can change . . . that time moves on and we can all grow and become something more. I wanted that, don’t you understand? I wanted you, and, fuck me, you know what, I still want-“

Snape leaned forward then, moving slowly, reaching for him and pulling him close, kissing him before he could pull away. Remus kissed him back, closing his eyes for a moment, holding onto him and wondering how they had come apart so quickly. He gasped a bit as Severus moved lower, kissing his way down his neck. 

When Severus reached for his chest, and started undoing the buttons on his shirt, Remus made himself pull away.

“Wait. I can’t... I can’t do this. Not here. Not now. I... I need some time, Severus. I need some time to figure this out.”

“Then let me help you. We can go find Lily and we can-”

“No,” Remus said, readjusting the front of his trousers, “I haven’t seen her in sixteen years. I need to talk to her - alone - before things get any more complicated.”

“She mentioned the station building,” Severus said.

“The one in Hogsmeade?”

Severus nodded. “I think she might be there.”

of course

on the other side of the tunnel

“Remus, are you sure you want to do this on your own?”

“Yes, I am.”

“Alright, but be careful. She’s armed, and she’s afraid, and something is... she’s changed. Azkaban… what happened that night she lost James… she’s changed.”

“I understand," Remus said. “I’ll be careful. All I want to do is talk to her.”

“Then be patient. It might take some time for her to realize that.”

“I’ll give her all the time she needs.”

“Are you sure I can’t convince you to let me come along?”

“I’ll be alright, Severus,” Remus told him, glancing at the clock on the wall in the corner, “but, if you really want to help me out, maybe go run upstairs and tell my sixth year class I won’t be there.”

“I can do that,” Severus said. “And Remus?”

He paused. “Yes?”

“I’m sorry.”

“I know,” Remus said, managing a gentle smile. “I am, too. We'll get past this.”

Before Severus could say anything else, Remus reached for the door, and let himself out.

He leaned against the nearest wall as soon as he was back in the main corridor, steadying himself for a moment. He felt dizzy. Between the lack of sleep and the events of the last twenty-four hours, his head was swimming. First, Lily, then Sirius. It was still a lot to take in, and he had started letting his fatigue and frustration get the better of him. He still felt bad about what he had said, for not giving Sirius any real options and treating him like a child. He would have to go up to Gryffindor Tower later, after he found Lily, and apologize to him, maybe even bring him some of those treacle tarts from the kitchen he always used to love so much. He owed him that much. He owed him a lot more than he had managed so far, that was for sure.

Because, in a way, this was all his fault.

It had taken him a while to get the truth out of James and Peter in the weeks after the storm, but eventually they had both broken down and told him everything.

“We did it for you. I know you wouldn’t have wanted us to, but, Remus, we’ve spent every full moon for almost five years now listening to you howl and claw at yourself all night in that awful shack and we just... it wasn’t right. It wasn’t right, and you deserved better, so we decided to go and do something about it.”

They had decided to become Animagi, so the monster he became once a month wouldn’t be alone; so he wouldn’t have to spend any more nights locked up in chains - so they could be with him and make sure he was alright. They had been out in that goddamn storm because of him, and he had never quite forgiven himself for that. He had never forgiven himself when Sirius had never come home.

Remus was almost to the end of the next corridor when he saw Hermione Granger, coming out of McGonagall’s office. Unfortunately, it didn’t take her long to notice him, too.

“Oh, Professor Lupin!”

She was smiling now - smiling and coming right toward him, making far too much eye contact for him to pretend he hadn’t heard her.

brilliant 

just bloody brilliant 

“Professor Lupin? Wait! Can we talk for a minute?”

“Err, uh, yes, I suppose,” he said, stopping where he stood and trying not to sound so exasperated, remembering that he had to at least pretend to be a fully functioning adult. “What’s on your mind, Hermione?”

She looked excited, if a bit tired, just like she had the other day in class, when she had demonstrated to him and her peers that she knew exactly how to disarm a well-hexed suit of armor, thank you very much.

“I-“

She stopped and stared at him, at his tousled hair and half unbuttoned shirt.

oh fuck me

“Sorry, Professor. I- Is this a bad time?”

yes

yes it bloody well is

“No,” he said, fumbling with his shirt in an attempt to make himself look halfway decent, “no, it’s fine. Just- Sorry… What do you need, Hermione?”

“I . . . well, I had to tell you. I think I’ve got a solution.”

“A solution?”

She nodded.

Remus stared at her. He had no idea what she was talking about. He could barely remember what they had last discussed in class. 

“Is this about the boggart assignment?”

“No, Professor,” Hermione said, whispering. “It’s, well, it’s about Sirius Black. I think I know how to send him back to his time.”

“You . . . you what?”

“We can send him back. At least, in theory. You see, I was just at The Ministry, talking to-“

Remus grabbed Hermione’s shoulder as gently as he could and pulled her into an alcove as a pair of Hufflepuff second years walked toward them.

He lowered his voice before he asked, “Hermione, how the hell do you know about Sirius?”

“Oh! Harry and Ron sort of . . . filled me in.”

“Ah.”

Of course they had. He should have known they would. Those boys probably couldn’t even get their shoes laced up properly without Hermione’s help.

“And I met him. Sirius. He told me . . . well . . . I think I might be able to help. I think there’s a way to get him back.”

“To his own time?”

She nodded again. “I was just at The Ministry, talking to Unspeakable Filby-“

“I know Filby. How do you know Filby?”

“Because of this,” Hermione said, reaching for a gold chain that was tucked beneath her jumper, taking out a device Remus had only ever seen in textbooks.

Remus stared at the Time Turner. “Hermione… Where did you get that?”

“Professor McGonagall gave it to me at the start of term, so I could make it to all my classes. You see, I couldn’t decide which electives to take, and the schedules overlapped, and I couldn’t very well be in two places at once, but now, with this, well, she found a way for me to take all of them.”

Remus pinched the bridge of his nose. “Hermione, are you telling me The Ministry of Magic sent Minerva a bloody Time Turner just so you could load yourself up with more schoolwork?”

She nodded.

Remus just stared at her.  “You’ve had access to time travel all term and you’ve only been using it to run between classes?”

“Yes! That’s all they would approve it for. I’m not supposed to use it for anything else, or tell anyone what I’ve been-“

“Hermione, how old are you again?”

“Thirteen.”

“And they just . . . gave you a Time Turner?”

She nodded.

dear lord

“Well, there were conditions, like I said, I’m only supposed to use it to get to my classes, and I have to go to The Ministry and see the Unspeakables every so often to make sure it’s not having any adverse effects on me. That’s how I know Unspeakable Filby.”

“Did you tell the Unspeakables about Sirius?”

“Oh, oh, no, Professor! I knew that was a secret. No, no, I just asked them some questions. About time travel. At first, I thought maybe we could modify my Time Turner and use it to get him back, but that won’t work. We need more sand.”

“. . . Sand?”

She nodded and pointed to the tiny hourglass on the pendant she held. “Yes. They call it the Sand of Time.”

of course they do

“And how exactly do we get more of this... Sand of Time?”

“We go through The Veil.”

“The Veil?”

Hermione nodded. “That’s where the sand is. Apparently, there’s a desert on the other side. And we’ll need a phoenix. For protection.”

“Naturally.”

“And someone who is Deathtouched.” She stopped, studying him for a moment. “Do you know what that means?”

“I’d be a pretty lousy Dark Arts instructor if I didn’t.”

She looked a bit embarrassed. “Right, yes, err, well... are you?”

“Deathtouched?”

She nodded. 

Remus sighed. “I don't know. I imagine I probably am, a few times over, unfortunately.”

And he wasn’t the only one.

“Okay, well, good, because we need someone who is Deathtouched to go through the veil and get the sand. Apparently, it’s the only way.”

“Of course it is.”

Remus let out another long breath and rubbed at his eyes.

fuck me

So that was it. He was either going to get Sirius home or get himself killed in the process.

What a time to be alive.

He looked back at Hermione. “So, if me, or someone else who is Deathtouched, can get through The Veil- with a phoenix- grab a bunch of sand, and survive long enough to get back out again, we might have a shot at getting Sirius home?”

“Yes! At least, in theory, like I said. The Unspeakables told me no one has ever actually gone back that far, and there would be some worry about the knowledge of our present affecting his future. We might accidentally create a paradox or disrupt the entire time-space continuum and destroy our own reality, but... in theory, it could work.”

right

in theory

“Right. Wonderful. I don’t imagine we have any other options?”

Hermione shook her head.

Of course not. Nothing was ever easy. He tried not to think about what had happened to Filby’s raccoons.

“Right then. Suppose we’ll have to try.”

Hermione studied him again, looking concerned. “Professor, if we can't... Well... He really can’t stay?”

Remus shook his head. “No. No, he can’t. It wouldn’t . . . it wouldn’t be fair, not to him. This isn’t where he belongs.”

“Is our version of reality really such a mess?”

“Apparently, yes,” he said. “Yes, it very much is.”

A look of concern spread across Hermione’s face. “Professor-“

“It’s alright. I’ll figure this out. Thank you, Hermione. Thank you for finding a way to help him. He... I really appreciate it.”

“Of course. I should probably get to class.”

“Right, yes. I’ve kept you long enough.”

Hermione smiled and reached for the hourglass pendant that was still hanging around her neck. “That’s alright, Professor. As it turns out, I’ve got plenty of time.”

He watched as she stepped back and turned the dial on top of the Time Turner, fading slowly out of existence, until she was gone, and he was left standing alone.

Remus shook his head, managing a smile as he walked outside the castle, heading for the courtyard and the road that led to Hogsmeade.

There was a chance. He might be able to get Sirius back. He might be able to fix this. It might kill him, of course, that was definitely a real possibility, but he tried not to think about that. Not yet. There would be plenty of time for worrying later.

Right now, he had to find Lily.

Remus shivered as dark clouds moved in over the mountains, blocking out the sun. He should have grabbed his coat. He shoved his hands into his pockets and picked up his pace, watching carefully for any signs of life as he approached the train station.

The station house was on the far side of the platform. Everything was dark, and deathly still.

Remus took out his wand and headed for the front door, surprised to find it unlocked. It creaked on its hinges as he pushed it open, giving way slowly to reveal an empty room with a row of windows that overlooked the tracks below. Luggage trolleys covered with thick layers of dust had been left in the far corner of the room, where they would sit abandoned until the end of the school year.

Remus walked toward the staircase along the back wall, listening carefully as he made his way upstairs, still unable to hear anything. It was entirely possible that Lily wasn’t even there, that she had run off and found some other place to hide.

But then he heard it: a creaking sound and whispered voices, coming from the room at the top of the stairs.

If Lily was in there, she wasn’t alone.

Remus raised his wand and cast Alohomora, reaching for the door and yanking it open.

The blast that came from the other side almost knocked him off his feet. He threw up a Shield Charm and jumped back against the railing, looking into the room just in time to see -

“Lily! Lily, wait! It’s me!”

Another blast came at his head then, singeing the air and tearing a hole in the ceiling behind him, sending plaster and splintered wood raining down on the last few steps.

Remus kept his shield raised. “Wait, Lily! I’m not here to hurt you! I just want to talk!”

She glared at him, breathing hard and shaking, looking every bit the frightened, escaped convict that she was.

Remus dissolved the Shield Charm he had cast and lowered his wand, taking a few cautious steps toward her. “Lily? Can we talk?”

Her wand was still aimed at his head.

“Lily, please. It’s me! It's Remus! It's alright. I'm not going to hurt you.”

Her expression changed slowly, eyes seeming to open wider as she studied him in the dim light. 

“... Remus?”

He smiled. “That’s right. It’s just me.”

But her face changed again. Suddenly, she looked angry. “He told you. Sev told you I was here!”

“Wait, Lily-“

She took a step back. “I told him-“

Remus raised his hands. “Lily, Severus cares about you. So much. He just wants to make sure you’re alright, same as me. Please. Look at me, Lily. It’s okay. I’m not here to cause you any harm.”

“Moony?”

Sirius’ voice made him jump. He’d forgotten the part about Lily not being alone.

Remus leaned into the room, looking around the corner, where Sirius stood, holding his wand.

“Sirius, what the hell are you doing here?”

“Moony, before you get upset, let me explain-“

“I told you to stay in the tower!”

“Right, yeah, in the tower, alone, like I’m some kind of fucking newborn.“

“Sirius, do you realize what could have happened?! If someone else saw you?!”

“No one saw me! Well, apart from Lily, but she sort of… It doesn't matter. No one else saw me.”

“That you know of! Jesus Christ. I ask you to do one thing, one goddamn thing, and you couldn’t even manage-“

Remus stopped.

Something was wrong.

shit

when did it get so cold

“Moony? You alright?”

He wasn’t. 

His breath fogged in the air as he raised his wand.

“Sirius, get away from the windows.”

Frost was already forming on the panes, crackling as it spread to the walls - as it covered the ceiling and the floor.

Sirius backed toward him. “Moony, what... what’s happening?”

no

my god

they found her

they fucking found her

Remus dove in front of Lily and Sirius as the windows of the station house shattered. Glass flew through the air as what was left of the frames gave way. There was a rushing sound as a billowing, black cloud of Dementors swarmed into the room, filling the air with their cold, damp stench, heading straight for Lily.

But Remus was ready.

He raised his wand and cast his patronus, nearly blinding himself with the familiar radiant light as a wolf tore out of the end of his wand, snarling and surging toward the Dementors.

“Go!” Remus yelled at Sirius.

He grabbed Lily’s hand and pulled her toward the staircase, running behind Sirius as his wolf howled. Two of the Dementors had been forced back, but more were coming fast. Remus looked back over his shoulder and fired off a loud barrage of stunning spells, trying to slow them down – trying to keep himself between them and Lily.

“Sirius! What the hell are you doing?! Run! ”

He had stopped just ahead of them, frozen at the bottom of the stairs.

And now Remus saw why.

FUCK!

The station house had been overrun. Another swarm of Dementors had broken through the front door - through the windows and the hole Lily had made in the ceiling - blocking out the light and wailing as they rushed toward them.

Sirius raised his wand. “Expecto Patronum!”

But the incorporeal form that shot forth wasn’t enough to stop them. 

Remus cast another Patronus, summoning a wolf twice as large as his first, watching as it leaped over Sirius, barrelling into the dark mass that had surrounded him, forcing the Dementors back.

“Sirius, run!”

He didn’t have to be told twice.

Remus followed him, still holding onto Lily, firing off more stunning spells and pulling her toward the door, trampling the broken shards of glass and pieces of plaster that covered the floor.

“Don’t look back! Just go!”

The Dementors came after them as they ran out onto the platform, heading toward the hatch. Sirius got there first, yanking it open and jumping inside.

Lily was right behind him, tearing her arm out of Remus’ grasp and jumping down into the dark. Remus climbed in after her, getting one more look at the growing swarm of Dementors as he grabbed the hatch and pulled it closed.

Remus hit the hatch with a locking charm, listening as it creaked on its hinges, shuddering like it was caught in a storm. For a moment, all he could hear were the angry howls and wails that came from the other side.

And then, finally, after a long time, all went quiet.

Remus backed away from the hatch, keeping his wand raised. He cast Lumos, and stared at Lily and Sirius, who sat crouched just ahead of him in the dark, leaning against the sides of the tunnel, covered in sweat and breathing hard. There wasn’t much room for them to move, but at least they were all alive.

“You both alright?”

They nodded.

“Well, we can’t go back, not that way.” He crawled past them. “Come on.”

“I can’t,” Lily said. “Remus, I can’t go back in the castle.”

“They will keep coming for you, Lily, especially now they’ve found you. They will keep coming.”

“But if anyone sees me in the castle-“

“They won’t,” Remus said. “We’ll make sure. Come on.”

They moved forward slowly, crawling on their hands and knees, carefully maneuvering beneath the hard-packed dirt and tree roots that stuck out above their heads. The tunnel was filled with stale, moist air, permeated with an odor of decay that came from the now decrepit wooden boards he and James had used to shore it up more than twenty years ago.

“Moony?” 

Remus groaned as his back scraped against a protruding rock, wishing his younger self had had the foresight to make the tunnel just a bit wider. “Yes?”

“You were right, about the tower. I’m sorry. I should have listened when you told me to stay up there.”

“No, Sirius. I’m the one who should apologize. You aren’t a child. I mean, you are, but you’re not, and, well, I shouldn’t have... I just wanted to make sure you were safe. I already lost you once. I... I was afraid. I was afraid, and I was worried about you. I was just trying to make sure you were safe.”

“I know, I just… I don't like just sitting around either. Not when I can do something. Not when I can help.”

Remus looked back at him, and smiled. “I know, dickhead. Next time you want to help me out, maybe don’t do it in the middle of a lightning storm, alright?”

Sirius grinned. “No promises.”

“Twat.”

“Wanker!”

By the time they got to the end of the tunnel, they were all filthy, covered from head to toe with muck and dirt. Remus reached for the hatch that led to the pantry and crawled out, almost hitting his head on a low shelf.

That was when he noticed he wasn’t alone. A familiar figure stood in the doorway, next to a stack of barrels and bags filled with rice.

“Harry? What the hell are you doing down here?” Remus asked.

“I was- I was looking at the map and I saw-“

fucking hell

He was holding Remus' old map, staring wide eyed, looking past Remus, to where Sirius and Lily had just crawled out of the tunnel.

Harry’s mouth fell open. “You- Mum?”

Oh, Remus thought.

oh bloody fucking hell

Chapter Text

Harry. 

Lily thought she’d said the word aloud, until she realised she couldn’t have got it out past the lump of hard air in her mouth, jamming her tongue to her jaw. 

His eyes.  

His hair. 

Her baby was no longer a baby. He was nearly as tall as her, holding a wand he looked ready to drop in shock. 

Lily's chest imploded. She made a pitiful noise, which really didn’t do justice to the dam breaking inside her and the emotions roaring through her- the sheer weight of them, like a raging river capable of smashing her bones to matchsticks- Remus and Sirius both reached for her as she staggered. 

A torrent of blood pounded behind her eyes- she couldn’t breathe- could barely see- meeting her son was not supposed to happen like this- she couldn’t make out the mist of words around her. 

Someone sat her down on a barrel; hands gesticulated wildly in all directions. Her head wouldn’t stop spinning. 

“Harry,” she croaked finally. 

They looked at each other for a long time. 

“Given you’re here with Sirius and Professor Lupin, I’m guessing it’s a bit more complicated than ‘you escaped from prison to kill me’?” her son asked quietly. 

“No, Harry; that’s not true-”

“She wouldn’t-”

“We got it all wrong-”

Remus and Sirius started talking over each other again, too loudly. How was she supposed to have a heartfelt reunion with her son over all this racket?

“Shut up!” Harry shouted, then added a sheepish, “um, please, Professor…” into the ringing silence that followed. 

Lily stood and held out her arms. 

“I’m not here to hurt you. I would never- can I- I just want to hold you. Please.”

He moved towards her warily, but not reluctantly. It was happening; he was here, right in front of her. If it all went pear-shaped and she got caught in the next five minutes, at least she’d get to touch him and tell him the truth. 

And then he was within reach and all she could see were his eyes, bright green and so much more beautiful than hers. 

Thank fuck, otherwise he’d look too much like James and she couldn’t bear that right now.

“Harry!” a voice screamed. 

“Get away from him!” someone else snarled. 

A Shield Charm erupted around them, and two jets of light bounced off it. 

Lily turned, cast, and then jerked aside at the last second so that her spell ruptured a bag of rice instead of the pair of children who had barrelled into the kitchen. 

“Everyone, lower your wands this instant!” Remus barked and, miraculously, all the students did. It was a very teacherly voice. 

There was a split second where all Lily could hear was the rushing of rice spilling onto the floor. It was almost like running water; soothing and constant. And then the newcomers started shouting over each other, and all the voices merged into yet another blur. 

Eventually, Remus managed to get them all to shut up. Now there were four teenagers in the kitchen, two of which were fussing over Harry while he tried to shrug them off, plus her and Remus. Everything was getting out of hand. 

“Why now?” Harry asked her. “Why did you choose now to escape?”

The unspoken accusation probably wasn’t deliberate: Where have you been all my life?

Lily sighed, trying to blot out the girl’s strident, “But, Professor…”

“It’s taken Sev this long to create a potion that would mask my soul from the Dementors at Azkaban. Oh, he teaches here now, doesn’t he? I guess that’s Professor Snape to you-”

“Snape?” Harry's voice shot up an octave. “You’re kidding me!”

“Why so surprised?” she asked. “He and I grew up together. We’re from the same town.”

“I just… never mind,” Harry said. “I didn’t know. There’s so much I don’t know.”

Guilt hit Lily like a hammer blow then; after all, wasn’t that her fault? If she hadn’t gone haring off after Peter in a blind rage, not caring whether she lived or died, because she'd just wanted to forget for one moment that she’d been betrayed, widowed and left to raise their son alone… he wouldn’t have grown up a virtual orphan with a stack of lurid Daily Prophet articles instead of a mother. 

“If we get through this, I will tell you everything,” she promised, her heart still sending hot pulses of guilt all the way up her throat. “I can’t make up for all the lost years, but I will be there for you, and I will do whatever it takes. I’ll tell you everything you ever wanted to know about your dad and-”

“Professor!” the girl yelped, but this time not at Remus. “We were just-”

Lily looked up as Severus swept into the kitchen, robes billowing around him. 

“Silence, Miss Granger,” he snapped.

The girl subsided, chewing at her lip. 

“I take my eye off the cauldron for one minute,” he said, raking his hands through his hair. “Why don’t you all just call the house elves back, or maybe the staff and the rest of your Circe-forsaken house, and have a proper party? Better yet, bring in the Daily Prophet and the bloody Wizengamot and we’ll announce to the world that Lily Potter is alive and hiding at Hogwarts!”

His voice rose until it ended on a shriek of its own, head thrown back and arms gesturing wildly like a street preacher getting into his stride. 

Severus, Lily thought, appeared to be quite stressed. 

“Give me one very good reason why I shouldn’t expel the lot of you right now,” he added breathlessly, a tic beginning to quiver in his left eyelid. 

Sirius tossed his hair. “How about: because you’re not the fucking headmaster, and you can’t expel me anyway because I’m not even supposed to exist?”

Sparks flew out of the end of Sev’s wand. 

The red-haired boy next to Harry winced. 

“No, Black, but, by that logic, I could drown you in a pot of soup right now and no one would be any the wiser,” Sev sneered, shooting his most withering expression at him. 

“Severus, I have this under control,” Remus said, his voice strained but relatively calm. 

Sev looked around slowly and deliberately, from the three of them covered in dirt and spiderwebs to the wide-eyed teenagers and the rice still spreading all over the floor. 

“Clearly,” he said. 

“Fuck you, Snivellus!” Sirius shouted, and Remus grabbed him as he went to dive for Sev, arms closing around his waist and stopping him dead. His feet skated back and forth across the rice. 

“We need to come to some sort of decision without resorting to childish insults,” Lily said wearily. “This is turning into a bloody Carry On film.”

“Well, you can’t go back to the station house,” Remus said, over the top of Sirius’ head. “Or probably anywhere beyond the Hogwarts grounds.”

“You shouldn’t leave the main castle at all,” Harry said quickly. “The Dementors came in once and invaded the Quidditch pitch.”

“Perhaps we should have a look at the, er-” his friend suggested, miming opening something with a wary sideways glance at Sev. 

“I shall handle this from now on,” Sev said. “Lily, come with me. Remus, you should escort this rabble back to their common room. If you can manage to organise that.”

Remus let go of Sirius abruptly. “You know what, Severus? I’ve had enough of this assumption that you’re the only competent person on the whole planet. Sirius was right: fuck you!”

The words echoed around the kitchen. 

Sev’s eyes twitched and his face shut down. They stared at each other for a long moment, as Remus’ upper lip curled slightly in a subconscious growl. 

For a moment, Lily could have sworn his eyes glowed a shade yellower. Had they always done that when he was angry?

Harry’s friends shifted nervously. The girl’s eyes were as wide as saucers. 

“As it happens,” Sev said finally, although his voice was a little strained, “I have since discovered the perfect place to hide a fugitive. It should even be Dementor-proof, although the likelihood of Dumbledore allowing them to enter the castle is extremely low. But I will not be leading a slumber party of children through the corridors, and that is my final word on the matter.”

“No,” Harry said flatly. “I am not going to go back to bed and forget I ever met my mum tonight. I need to know where she’ll be staying, and we haven’t finished talking yet.”

Sev ignored him with another sneer as Lily’s heart warmed a little. He was so like James… 

“Perhaps we should stash Black there too, since he appears to be singularly committed to being discovered or having his soul sucked out.”

“Did you hear me, Professor?” Harry asked, a dangerous tone to his voice. “I will not-”

“Oh, I heard you, Potter,” Sev snapped. “But you are a child, and your opinion does not signify!”

“She’s my mum! Besides, you can’t take house points from me or turn me in to Dumbledore over this, because you’re the one who broke her out of Azkaban in the first place!” 

“Oh, for the love of fucking Circe, shut up, Potter!”

Lily swung her fist down on a sharp diagonal. There was a thump, and Sev dropped to his knees with a choked cry. 

“Don’t speak to my son like that, Sev,” she said calmly. 

She could practically hear the others holding back laughter, and a quick glance confirmed it. Sirius in particular looked like he was about to explode. 

“Sorry, Remus; looks like you’re not getting any tonight,” she added. 

Remus blushed bright pink.

“I wasn’t anyway… hang on, how did you-” he spluttered, before rounding on the now-teenage boy beside him. “Oh, for fuck’s sake, Sirius!”

“I didn’t mean to; it just sort of-”

“You’d only known about it for thirty seconds!”

They started bickering, the words all running into each other while Sev picked himself up, glaring daggers at everyone. 

“Wow, this is like an episode of Eastenders,” Harry said quietly. “You’re pretty cool, Mum.”

He rolled the word around his mouth experimentally, and her heart skipped a beat. 

When he was eighteen months, he’d sometimes managed the odd ‘Mama’ or ‘Mummy’, but to be directly addressed as ‘Mum’ by the son she hadn’t seen in twelve years was amazing. In a heartbreaking sort of way. 

Tentatively, she reached for his hand and squeezed it. 

He squeezed back. 

Remus motioned Sev aside, and they had a quiet conversation out of earshot of the others. Both their shoulders were stiff with tension and awkwardness, and they kept a careful distance between them. Whatever it was they’d had, she suspected it was just about over now. Bit of a shame; she could see how they might suit each other. But she could also see how Sev’s tendency to lash out whenever he felt threatened would put a strain on things. 

“Right, this is the plan,” Remus said finally, stepping away from Sev. “And there will be no further negotiations. Lily and Severus, then you three, then Sirius and I, will go separately to the seventh floor corridor and wait in front of the tapestry of Barnabas the Barmy. Severus will open up a hidden room, and we will all go inside to get Lily and Sirius settled.”

“A hidden room on the seventh floor corridor?” the red-haired boy asked. “We’ve never seen that one.”

“That is rather the problem with hidden rooms, Weasley,” Sev drawled. “You should all make sure to shake the rice off your shoes before leaving the kitchen, or we’ll leave a trail of it.”

Eyelids twitching, he marched back to Lily and cast a Disillusionment Charm over her. 

“Follow after a minute each,” he said. “If Filch catches you en route, that is really not my problem.”

Lily gave Harry’s hand a parting squeeze and followed him out of the kitchen. 

“I’m sorry about whatever happened between you and Remus,” she said to Sev once they’d got through The Great Hall, pausing to let a sleepwalking Professor Binns float past. 

He gave a short cough of discomfort. 

“It would never have lasted,” he muttered. 

“You shouldn’t have spoken to him like that, though,” she pressed. “Especially in front of the kids.”

“Oh, Lily Potter is giving me relationship advice now?” he sniped. 

“Don’t be a dick, Sev. You should apologise to him before it’s too late.”

“Shh!” he hissed, conveniently. 

Until footsteps sounded around the next corner.

Lily ducked into an alcove, her heart thumping as a pretty African witch with billowing robes walked up and greeted Sev, a telescope tucked under one arm. 

“Evening, Severus,” she said. 

“Aurora.”

She was older than them, but not by miles. Lily assumed she was a member of staff and used to his abruptness. The woman inclined her head, smiled, and glided off again. 

They made it to the seventh floor without further incident. 

“Where is this hidden room, then?” Lily asked. “Behind the tapestry?”

As she peered at it, Barnabas the Barmy waved merrily at her until a troll clubbed him on the head. 

“Actually, you enter it through the wall opposite,” Sev said. “Walk past it three times and picture clearly what you want, and the room will provide.”

“How did you find it?” she asked. “By accident?”

He gave her a dead-eyed look. 

“There’s no need to tell you which two people I was running from, bleeding from the nose, while wishing I had somewhere to hide,” he said. 

“Right,” she said awkwardly, recalling all those times she’d shouted at James and Sirius for their inability to leave Sev alone. “Well, if I’m going to be sharing it with a thirteen-year-old boy, I’ll do the wishing. I don’t want to end up staying in a fucking treehouse or something, without a bathroom and no locks on the doors.”

Sev smirked. 

Lily closed her eyes and walked up and down, feeling a bit stupid. 

Definitely two bedrooms. Might as well be en-suite bathrooms if it’s magic. Living room. Stuff to entertain us while we’re hiding out. Kitchen and laundry facilities, because wizards never fucking think of those.

There was a grinding of stone, and she opened her eyes. In front of her stood a door with beautiful stained glass that she couldn’t see through. 

She turned to Sev, slightly thrown even though it had done exactly what he had said it would. 

“I’ll be interested to see what you asked for,” he said, his face softening a touch. “But we should wait for the others to arrive before going inside, or they won’t be able to get in.”

Eventually, everyone else turned up in the correct order. Harry glanced unsubtly between her and Sev, as though he thought she needed defending from him. It was adorable. 

“Where did that door come from?” Remus asked. “That’s never been there before.”

“The castle provides,” Sev said, rather smugly. 

Lily turned the handle, before yet another argument could break out, and stepped inside. 

If she’d expected anything, it had been a bland, minimalist Muggle hotel. Instead, as she should have guessed by the stained-glass door, it was more like an upper-class townhouse in North London or somewhere. Having recently escaped from prison, her standards were not high, and she’d have made do with pretty much anything, but a little luxury was definitely appreciated. 

They walked into a large living room that looked expensive without being intimidating, and comfortable. Leather sofas, a deep red carpet and bookshelves on the far wall around an unlit fireplace. There was even a drinks cabinet and a desk with a lamp. Various doors were positioned on the left and right walls, which she presumed led to equally pleasant bedrooms and bathrooms, neither of which she would have to share with a messy teenage boy. 

“Is there any food?” Sirius asked, right on cue. 

“No idea,” Sev said. “I suppose we’ll have to make arrangements for that.”

Neither of them had anything to unpack. Sirius, who was apparently incapable of operating even basic furniture properly, vaulted over the nearest sofa arm and landed with a thump amongst the cushions. 

“It’s comfortable!” he called. 

Sev rolled his eyes and, for a moment, it seemed like Remus might too until he caught himself. Everyone arranged themselves rather primly on the chairs and sofas. 

Just as Lily noticed the round wicker basket on the coffee table in front of her, a vibration ran along her right arm. The castle did indeed provide. 

It was just as well her recently acquired serpentine friend liked to share her body heat, or she might have left him in the station house when the Dementors had attacked. She fished him out of her sleeve and stroked his smooth black head before pouring him into the basket. It was just the right size. 

She cooed at him, belatedly realising she’d done it in Parseltongue when Sev flinched. 

“Oh, this is Sssebastian,” she said. “We found each other shortly after I reached the mainland. We have a weird sort of understanding. And he’ll need feeding too; you’ll have to find some mice from somewhere.”

“Um, hello, Sebastian,” Remus said, as his head poked out of the basket briefly. “Is he a grass snake?”

“A melanistic adder,” she corrected pleasantly. “Hence the black colour. And, in any case, you’re saying his name wrong. It’s Sssebastian, not Sebastian. You have to pronounce it with at least three S’s or he gets grumpy.”

Remus’ face froze. 

“You’re fucking barking, Lily; you know that, right?” Sirius said. 

She laughed. He might have de-aged by three years, but at least he didn’t try to mince his words around her. It was weirdly comforting, since Sev and Remus seemed inclined to treat her like one of those little glass statues which had been dropped and glued back together badly for sentimental reasons. Her mum used to collect them; there had been a whole row of ballerinas on the mantelpiece in the front room. One of them had been knocked off and broken, come to think of it. Had it been her, in a pre-Hogwarts burst of uncontrolled magic? She couldn’t remember now. 

Well, she’d never been one for pedestals. And she’d been broken, all right, but she didn’t need blunting or being jammed back into the shape Severus or Remus thought they remembered. She’d come to rely on her sharp edges and, if anyone cut themselves on her, that was their problem. 

“I’ll go and make some, er, tea or something,” Harry’s girl friend said, with a pointed look at the red-haired boy. “Come and help me, Ron.”

He was too busy glancing between the three adults, who were all very messed up and therefore fascinating to him, to pay attention. 

“Ronald!” 

Everyone jumped, including him. 

The girl jabbed her chin towards one of the doors in a move that risked ricking her neck. In Lily’s opinion, she had an extremely effective glare. 

“Okay, Mu- er, Hermione,” he said, blushing. 

“I won’t let him forget he nearly called her ‘Mum’,” Harry muttered with a grin from where he sat beside Lily. 

“How do you take your tea, Mrs Potter?” The girl-  Hermione- asked, her tone perfectly polite again. 

It took Lily a moment to realise she was being addressed. 

“I honestly can’t remember,” she admitted, feeling a bit foolish. In the scheme of things, it was better to lose her tea preferences to the Dementors than, say, the memory of her wedding, but it still stung. 

“However it comes, I suppose?”

The girl scrutinised her for a moment. 

“My dad says that the amount of milk and sugar taken in tea bears a positive correlation to one’s cultural turpitude,” she said. 

Everyone looked blankly at her except for Sev, whose sneer was almost approving. 

“I’ll make it without, then,” Hermione said, after a pause. “You can always put it in afterwards, but you can’t unsugar it or unmilk it after it’s been sullied.”

She whisked off into what Lily presumed was the kitchen, dragging Ron with her. 

“Remus,” Sev said, “we ought to... have a conversation.”

Remus eyed him warily. 

“Fine,” he said. “We will all reconvene here tomorrow after everyone has had some sleep.”

“I’m going to have a long, scalding hot shower while you two get some bonding time in,” Sirius announced. “But, Lily, what do you say we investigate that drinks cabinet when everyone’s gone, and get properly shitfaced?” 

He grinned widely.

Lily laughed at Remus’ horrified face. 

“Well, alright. It shouldn’t take more than two each, because I haven’t touched alcohol for twelve years, and you’re now a scrawny thirteen-year-old,” she said. 

“Fucking result,” Sirius beamed.

Chapter Text

Sirius stepped out of the shower, looking a little like a boiled lobster from the heat of the water. It had not been quite the cathartic experience he’d been hoping for, as he’d had to confront the sight of his naked, very much thirteen-year old, self. He’d been really proud of the little snail trail of hair from his navel downwards that was no longer there. 

He eventually stood under the pounding stream long enough to galvanise himself into stopping moping, and resolved to pester whoever he needed to within an inch of their life until they helped him find a way home. Lily had at least been reunited with her son now, so hopefully he could count on her, for what that was worth.

He wrapped himself in a fluffy towel and went to investigate what the castle had provided for clothing. 

The castle was clearly a traditionalist, or just very practical. A fresh Gryffindor uniform was hanging up in the wardrobe and a set of flannel pyjamas were folded in the drawer. Sirius missed his leather jacket. He supposed it would be too big for him now. 

He walked back into the living room, rubbing at his wet hair with his towel (drying spells made it frizz). Lily and Harry were curled up on the sofa, their arms around each other, eyes closed. The tea Hermione had made sat undrunk on the table. 

“Guess it’s just me then,” Sirius muttered to himself. 

He heard a smooth sort of rustle and the snake that Lily had brought in emerged from its basket.

“Evening, Seb.” Sirius waved casually as he headed for the drinks cabinet. 

The snake glared, as best as a snake could. 

“Sorry, Ssseb, is that better?”

The snake hissed and disappeared back into its basket. 

The castle may have been conservative on its outfit options, but at least it didn’t care about underage drinking. The firewhisky was the same as the good stuff his father had always kept under charm and key after Sirius had finished the bottle once two summers ago. He poured himself a large glass, then, after a moment’s consideration, grabbed it and the bottle and headed back to his room. 

He should have paid more attention to Lily’s comment about his new body size. He woke up the next morning with a swirling head and a churning stomach. 

“How much did you have?” Lily asked, as she brought him a cup of tea.

Sssebastian was draped around her neck looking smug, which was an expression Sirius hadn’t known other animals were capable of. It was a bit disconcerting.

“Only half the bottle...” 

“Only...” Lily repeated.

“I’d kill for a bacon sandwich right now.” 

“Food seems to be the one thing this room can’t provide. Gamp’s Law, I suppose.”

“You got milk!”

“Clearly, Gamp knew how important tea was.” 

Lily sat back down next to Harry, handing him his own cup.

Sirius was fairly sure they had spent all night on the sofa. Harry was cricking his neck left and right, massaging his shoulder with his free hand. 

Remus appeared at the door that led to the rest of the castle. 

“Morning,” he said. It did not seem that his disposition had improved much from the night before. Sirius wondered how his talk with Snape had gone. 

Badly, I hope.

“Sirius, you look like shit. What happ— Don’t tell me.” Remus eyed the drinks cabinet, its doors still open and an obvious gap where the whisky bottle had been. “Well, I hope you’ve got enough brain power to do some research today? I’ll use my free lesson this morning to pull all the books I can find on time travel from the library. You can stay here and read through them.” 

Sirius groaned loudly. He hated doing research by reading. He much preferred learning by experimentation. Even if it didn’t always work in his favour.

“Harry, you should get to breakfast before you have to go to class,” Remus said. 

Harry groaned as loudly as Sirius. “Do I have to, Professor? I’ve only just started catching up with Mum.”

“Yes, because people will notice if the target of a supposed mass murderer doesn’t turn up.”

“But I’ve not seen her in twelve years, Sir! Can’t you cover for me? Say I’m ill or something?” 

“Please, Remus?” Lily added imploringly.

“I’m afraid that’s not within my jurisdiction. I’m neither your head of house nor Madam Pomfrey. You can come back and see her this evening, but I expect you to be back in the Gryffindor common room by curfew.”

“Wow, someone got boring.” Sirius ignored the glare from Remus. “Shame we can’t swap places. I’d definitely take going to breakfast over being stuck here with a dusty pile of books. Even if it did mean I had to go to class.” 

“Pity you aren't famous and don’t have hair that looks like it’s got a permanent but half-arsed levitation charm on it,” Remus commented dryly. 

“Hey!” Harry protested, trying to flatten his hair. 

“Sorry, Harry, it’s how I used to describe James’ hair. I promise I mean that in the kindest way possible. My point is, Sirius is not going to get away with pretending to be you for the day.”

Lily’s eyes grew suddenly wide and she started rummaging through her cloak. 

“But you could,” she said triumphantly, holding up a vial of thick liquid. 

“Lily, where did you get Polyjuice potion from?” Remus asked slowly. 

“Sev gave it to me to use as an escape option in extreme situations.”

“Of course he fucking did.”

“But what if you need it?” Harry asked.

“I’m sure he can brew me some more.” Lily waved away Harry’s concern. “Besides, if it means I get to spend another few hours with you now, it will be worth having to find a different escape later. Sev said that what’s in there should do for about four hours.”

“Are you sure Lily? I’m not sure Snivellus would look kindly on such a frivolous use of his efforts.”

“Well, he can go fuck himself, then.”

Harry gaped as Sirius sniggered, then they all looked towards Remus. 

“You know what? Fine. If it means I get to have a few hours of peace — if you could ever call teaching peaceful — you lot knock yourselves out. Sirius, Harry has Defence Against the Dark Arts in second period. If you do anything I swear I’ll —”

“I’ll be good as gold, Goblin’s honour.”

“Okay, maybe not that good; people might get suspicious.”

Harry blushed. 

“But you get my drift. Now let’s get on with it, breakfast will be over soon.”

Harry eagerly pulled out a few of his hairs and added them to the potion, which turned an emerald green. Sirius ignored his hangover, helped by the promise of a full breakfast, and downed it in one. 

Fifteen minutes later he walked into The Great Hall, trying not to feel like he shouldn’t be there.

“Harry!” Ron called over to him as he scanned the Gryffindor table. 

“You feeling better, Harry?” a round faced boy sat next to Ron asked. 

“I told them you were in the Hospital wing last night because of that thing,” Ron provided helpfully. 

“Yeah, still not great,” Sirius said vaguely, hoping it would give him enough of a cover for not joining in the conversations that were happening around him. Hermione shot him a concerned glance, which he ignored. There was no way of conveying I’m not Harry; he’s still hanging out with Lily. I’m Sirius under the influence of Polyjuice potion without words. 

It wasn’t until they got out of The Great Hall and were halfway to Transfiguration that Sirius was finally able to tell them who he actually was.

“What?” Hermione asked, aghast. “I can’t believe Professor Lupin let Harry do that! It’s really irresponsible; Harry’s going to get behind on all his classes.”

“I’m sure he’ll manage, Hermione,” Ron said, clearly trying to placate her. "It’s not like he hasn’t missed classes before. Besides, think how behind he is on knowing his mum. He’s got way more catching up to do on that.”

Hermione harrumphed and marched ahead.

“Great,” Ron grumbled, “now she won’t help us in Transfiguration.” 

“Sorry.”

“Nah, not your fault, mate,” Ron said. “She’s been grumpy since term started. No idea what’s got into her.”

Somehow, Hermione wasn’t there when they reached McGonagall’s classroom. Instead, she came bustling in a minute later, sitting down next to Sirius. 

“What were you doing? When you jumped forwards in time?” She asked him in a whisper before Sirius had a chance to ask her where she went. 

“I...” Sirius hesitated. “I thought you weren’t talking to me because I led Harry astray.”

“Oh, never mind that right now, come on! This is important. If we want to get you back, we have to have as much information about how you got here in the first place as possible.”

“Fine, we were carrying out the last step to become Animagi. James, Peter, and I.”

“What? But that’s illegal, isn’t it! McGonagall told us just the other week you have to be registered to be Animagi, and I'm sure no one would condone three sixteen year olds doing it. It could go horribly wrong.”

“It did,” Sirius reminded her. 

“Well, yes, but not in the way anyone might have imagined. McGonagall wouldn’t go into details about what the process was, so, what is the last step of becoming an Animagi?” she asked. 

“Drinking the potion you’ve spent a month making, in the middle of a storm.” 

Hermione wrote a note on the piece of parchment on the desk.

“Hmm.” She tapped her lip with her quill in thought. 

“Peter thought there was something weird about the storm that night,” Sirius offered, deciding it was stupid to turn down any help available, even if it was annoying. 

“Oh?” Hermione said, loud enough to earn her a shush from McGonagall, then spent the rest of the lesson quizzing Sirius on exactly how the storm was weird. 

Next up was Defence Against the Dark Arts. Sirius was grateful that Hermione’s stream of questions had dried up, as it meant that he could watch Remus teaching, which somehow, amongst all the things he’d experienced in the last forty-eight hours, was still one of the strangest things he had ever witnessed. 

Sirius couldn’t have caused trouble if he'd wanted to. Moony held the class in rapt attention as he pointed out various features of a Redcap, and then got everyone up to practice the repellent charm in turn. Sirius made a mental note to encourage his own time’s Moony into teaching. Even with the age gap, there was something undeniably attractive about the quiet respect that Professor Lupin commanded. 

The end of class arrived with another round of interrogation from Hermione, who accosted him from the opposite direction of where they had been coming from. Sirius tried to follow Ron, who dodged his friend and marched off to lunch, but she stood in front of him, blocking his way. 

“The night you tried to complete the Animagus ritual, was it the 5th of March?” she started with no preamble.

Sirius hesitated, taken aback by her abruptness. “It was definitely March, yeah.” 

“I think it must have been the fifth,” Hermione said authoritatively. “I’ve been looking at the almanacs for that year, and there was a comet that passed very close to the earth that night, and a couple of other books I was reading noted the unusual storm. Comets have been known to interfere with magic in the past. I suspect the combination of the storm and the comet must have thrown off the ritual.”

“Oh,” Sirius said. 

Hermione started walking towards The Great Hall for Lunch. 

“Wait!” Sirius called out, rushing to keep up with her. “Why didn’t it happen to Peter and James then?”

“I’m not sure,” Hermione frowned, obviously disconcerted by this gap in her knowledge. “But I did also find out that the same comet is due to reach the same point in its orbit in a week. If we want to get you back, I think we need to time anything we try with the movement of that comet. Which means we’ve got to get through the Veil and back in the next few days.” 

“What?” Sirius exclaimed, stopping in shock then having to dash to catch up again. They were getting close to The Great Hall and the halls were starting to fill with students.

“What do you mean through the Veil and back? You don’t come back from the Veil! It’s the Veil,” Sirius whispered furiously behind Hermione.

“You can if you have a phoenix feather – I think – but first things first we need to work out who’s Deathtouched.” 

“Of course we do,” said Sirius, sarcastically, “and how do we do that?”

They were walking through the giant double doors that led into The Great Hall. 

“You could visit the Thestrals.”

The light, airy voice had come from behind them. It was a small, blonde girl in Ravenclaw robes. 

“Sorry?” Hermione said. 

“The Thestrals. They live in the Forbidden Forest. They can only be seen by people who have witnessed death – or, as you call it, people who are Deathtouched.”

Hermione looked at the girl sceptically, but the name Thestrals was ringing a bell in the back of Sirius’ head. They had studied them in Care of Magical Creatures in fourth year. 

“I can take you to them, if you like?” 

“How do you know where they live?” Sirius asked the girl. 

“I like to visit them and feed them snacks. They’re such majestic creatures.”

The memory of the class returned to Sirius. He had been one of the few people to be able to see them – having been in the room when his great aunt had died from black cat fever when he was eight. They were impressive creatures, Sirius would give that to the girl, but the fact that they snacked on raw meat meant he wasn’t sure they could be classed as majestic. 

“What’s your name?” Hermione finally asked, after her and the girl had talked some more.

“Luna,” said the girl, “Luna Lovegood.”

Hermione made an ooh sort of sound, as though that explained everything, but didn’t elaborate any further. 

“Could you show us this evening?” Hermione asked.

“If you like. Meet me by the oak tree nearest Hagrid's hut after dinner.” 

By the time they had finished the slightly strange interaction, Sirius only had fifteen minutes before the last of the Polyjuice potion would wear off. He wolfed down a healthy portion of sausages and mash followed by sticky toffee pudding, quick enough to give him indigestion in an hour, but it was worth it. 

When he made it back to the hidden room, Lily and Harry were both asleep on her bed. Harry woke to the sound of Sirius, and begrudgingly left his mother sleeping as he trudged off to Potions. True to his word, Remus had left a large pile of books about time travel on the table. Sirius procrastinated making coffee, checking out what else the room had provided, and even saying hello to Sssebastian, but eventually he ran out of distractions and accepted his fate.

Two hours later and he was still none the wiser. The only thing anyone seemed to agree on was that you could only travel back in time a few hours. Everything on travelling forwards was purely hypothetical. It was as if he was the first person to have ever done it. Eventually, he slammed his latest book shut in frustration. It was pointless. Besides, he might as well leave it to Hermione; she seemed far better suited to the task. 

With nothing else to do, and Lily still asleep, Sirius decided to raid the drinks cabinet again. He was just pouring his second whisky when Harry, Ron and Hermione came through the door, discussing the plan for that evening. 

“Are you sure we can trust her, Hermione?” Ron asked, waving at Sirius before sitting in an armchair that had just appeared to accommodate the increase in people. “This is Loony Luna; you know she has a habit of making stuff up. And if you’ve never come across Thestrals then-“

“Thestrals are real,” Sirius confirmed. “And you can only see them if you’ve seen death. If we need proof of who is Deathtouched, they’re about as good as you’re going to get.” 

“Okay, fine, but does it have to be this evening? Couldn’t it wait until the weekend, when it won’t be dark?”

“Ron, we’ve been round this once already, we need to make sure everything is ready for next week. I’m sure that comet was part of how Sirius time travelled instead of becoming an Animagus. So, we meet Luna this evening after dinner. It's not past curfew, so we only need to make sure we’re not spotted going into the forest.”

Hermione sat down next to Sirius, barely giving him time to give her space. Harry, having clearly heard this before, slunk off to where Lily was still sleeping. 

“Anyway. So. We’ll meet Luna where she suggested after dinner. You should come too.” Hermione turned to Sirius, finally acknowledging his presence.

“I wasn’t planning on being left behind,” Sirius said, somewhat belligerent at the mere suggestion.

“Actually, maybe we should go early, I’d like to have a look at the place where you time travelled, see if there are any clues.”

“But,” Ron started, looking outraged. “What about dinner?” 

“We can go early,” Hermione said with a dismissive wave of her hand.

“But we’ll miss pudding!”

“Oh Ron, just suck it up for once, will you? Unless you’d rather not come?” 

Ron opened his mouth to argue but was cut short by Lily and Harry walking into the room.

“Where are we going?” Lily asked sleepily.

After prising the plan out of them, Lily couldn’t be dissuaded from joining them, despite everyone’s arguments that she was an added complication that they didn’t need. She eventually won Hermione and Sirius round to her side by pointing out that the more people that went tonight, the more people they could potentially have for the next part of their mission to get Sirius home. 

Remus brought dinner for himself, Lily and Sirius, and, after a couple of false starts, they finally managed to find a conversation topic that was safe territory for everyone: reminiscing about the happier times they had all had at school. Not that it felt like reminiscing to Sirius, given that some of the happy times they talked about had just happened to him in the last few months. Sirius was almost sad when Remus got up from his chair just an hour later, explaining that he had to host detention for a selection of fifth years who had decided to free a Chupacabra they’d been studying in class while his back had been turned. Only almost, though. If he hadn’t gone, Sirius wasn’t sure how he and Lily would have got to the meeting point in time, and he didn’t fancy his chances with Hermione if they were late.

Sirius and Lily slipped under the Invisibility Cloak together before heading out into the halls of Hogwarts again. It was strange being the shorter one of the two. Sirius seriously hoped that he got his proper body back if he ever managed to get back to his time. 

They met Harry, Ron and Hermione by the front door of the castle. Sirius whispered directions from under the cloak until they reached the clearing. It was almost exactly how Sirius remembered it. Almost. In the middle, where there had been a tree, there was now a charred stump, almost entirely overgrown with ivy. And just in front of the tree, a scorched patch of earth where nothing grew at all. 

Hermione walked around the tree stump and finally stopped crouching down to look at the ground. 

She looked back at Sirius, only he was actually a few feet to the right, but she couldn’t see that. “You stood under a lone tree in a thunderstorm?” she asked, one eyebrow raised.

“How do you know that’s where I stood? That could be from anything. It's been nineteen years.”

“It could,” Hermione conceded. “But it’s you that was transported into the future, not anything else. Nor is anything other than an idiot being struck by lightning likely to be the cause of two footprints burnt into the ground.”

Sirius opened and closed his mouth a couple of times, trying to form an argument, but came up short.

“Well, I’m still not sure how what happened to you did, but at least we now know why.” Hermione looked at her watch. “Dinner will be over soon. We should go and meet Luna.”

“For the record,” Ron said, as they were waiting for Luna to appear. “I still think this is a bad idea. I know it’s not past curfew, and even if it was, that’s not something I would necessarily object to, but that doesn’t mean the place isn’t still lousy with bloody Dementors.”

“They don’t come this far into the grounds.” 

They all jumped, Sirius and Lily almost giving away the fact that they were there. No one had realised Luna had arrived behind them.

“I come this way at least once a week, and I never see them.”

The statement did nothing to placate Ron, who looked over his shoulder every minute as they walked around the edge of the forest.

It turned out he was right to be worried. 

As they rounded a corner they spotted it. One lone Dementor floating, thankfully, away from them. They still all bolted into the cover of the trees, not daring to look back to see if it had spotted them until they had been running for several minutes. Sirius stopped with the rest of them, leaning against a tree, panting and not realising anything was awry until Luna looked directly at him. He had separated from Lily in the scramble to get away, and not noticed. He really hoped that she was still with the group under the cloak, as opposed to having been separated from them.  

“Who are you?” Luna asked, seemingly completely unphased by the fact that he had essentially come out of nowhere. 

“This is Stuart,” Hermione said quickly. “He’s an exchange student from Beauxbatons.”

“You look like Sirius Black,” Luna said, walking up to Sirius and peering at him, her eyes as wide and round as saucers.

“How do you know what Sirius Black looks like?” Harry asked her, incredulously. 

“Daddy wrote an article about him a few years ago for the Quibbler. It had a photo of him in it.”

“Oh?” Sirius couldn’t help but be intrigued. 

“Yes, he thinks it’s obvious that Sirius was called to claim his rightful place on the throne in the kingdom of Halflies. That’s why he disappeared.”

“Oh,” Sirius said again, not daring to ask more.

“Shall we get on with finding these Thestrals then?” Ron asked, testily. “It’s starting to get cold.”

“It’s not far now,” said Luna, finally stopping her rather close up inspection of Sirius. 

They walked for another five minutes, during which time Sirius felt the comforting pat of an unseen hand on his shoulder, and ended up in a clearing where about fifteen large beasts had gathered. They looked up as the motley group emerged from the trees, then all started to walk towards Luna, clearly recognising her as a source of food.

Luna rummaged in her bag, pulling out a strip of steak and offering it to the nearest creature. She scratched it behind a black leathery ear as it chewed, blood dripping down its chin. If asked, Sirius would stick with his earlier assertion: Thestrals were impressive creatures, huge and powerful, but they were not majestic.

“Oh,” said Harry. “These are just the creatures that pull the carriages for Hogsmeade Station to the castle.” 

“Of course. Were you expecting something else?” Luna said, turning her attention away from the latest Thestral she was feeding. “Would you like to give one a snack?” 

She offered her bag to Harry, who recoiled a little at the offer. 

“Sorry, what are we supposed to be looking at?” Ron asked.

“The Thestrals, Ron,” Hermione said, sounding exasperated. “You can only see them if you’re Deathtouched. That's the whole point we’re here.”

“Oh, right, yeah. Can you see them?” 

“No,” Hermione said, the disappointment clear in her voice.

“But, if they’re the animals that pull the carriages, couldn’t you just have asked who can see those?” 

“Yes,” Luna said, “but I thought you might like to come see them; they appreciate the company.”

“Oh, yeah, I love a nighttime jaunt across Dementor-infested grounds into a forest full of all sorts of beasts that aren't much better,” Ron said sarcastically. 

“Stop being so dramatic, Ron. We needed to come into the forest anyway so that we can see where Si- Stuart did that thing.”

They continued bickering as Sirius heard leaves rustle next to him. A second later, a Thestral dipped its head and started nosing at what appeared to be thin air close to the ground.

“Thestrals are practically blind, you know,” Luna said, looking through the spot where Lily was. “They rely mostly on their sense of smell and hearing.”

She went back to stroking another Thestral on its neck. Suddenly, Sirius heard a sob from down by his ankle. 

“Lily?” 

Sirius asked without really thinking about it. 

Lily pulled the invisibility cloak off her head and looked up at Sirius from where she had sat down, tears coursing down her cheeks.

“Sorry,” she said, wiping at her eyes with a corner of her cloak, giving a strange effect of making it half disappear again for a second. “I never used to be able to see them. It’s hard to be reminded of seeing someone you love die. And the fact that Harry can see them as well...”

Lily turned back to rub the nose of the Thestral that was nuzzling her. 

“Could I have one of those steak strips?” she asked a puzzled looking Luna. 

Hermione, Ron and Harry were looking at her, aghast.

“You’re Lily Potter,” Luna said. 

“She won’t hurt you! She’s not who people think she is. She didn’t –“ Harry started saying quickly, moving to stand between them, puffing out his chest.

“Of course she won’t hurt me,” Luna said.

Harry deflated. Luna stepped around him to hand Lily some meat.

“She’d have done it already.”

They all stood in silence, watching Lily coo over the Thestral until it got bored and ambled away from them. 

“So,” Lily said, turning to the rest of them. “I can see them, and Harry can, but Ron and Hermione can’t. Stuart, what about you?”

It took Sirius a moment to respond to his new given name, but then he nodded. 

“That gives us three people. Hermione, reckon that will be enough?” 

“I –“ Hermione started, seeming to need a second to remember why they were there. “Yes, I don’t see why not, assuming we'll have Professor Snape and Professor Lupin as well.”

She gave herself a little shake, straightened her expression from one of mild confusion, then said, businesslike again. 

“Thank you, Luna, this has been really helpful. We should get going now though, before Lily attracts any attention.”

Luna smiled and waved at the party. “Goodbye, Lily, I hope things get straightened out for you. Nice to meet you, Stuart.”

The way she had said it made it obvious that she didn’t for one second believe that was his name, but she didn’t press the issue either. She turned back to give another slice of meat to the nearest Thestral as they all walked away from the clearing, intent on leaving the forest behind.

Chapter Text

The moonlight coming in through the windows of the Astronomy Tower shouldn't have made Remus nervous, but it did. There were only six days left before the next full moon, and he could already feel the wolf clawing at him, anxious to get out and play. The thought of going through another transformation filled him with dread. It had already been a hard month. Even the Wolfsbane potion Severus kept on hand for him wasn't always able to stop the pain. Maybe he was just getting older. Or maybe the wolf was getting stronger. He didn't know. He supposed it didn't matter.

The truth was, he was fucked either way.

Remus let out a long breath and looked back across the tower, staring at the scattered pieces of equipment his wayward fifth years were still trying to fit back together. He almost felt sorry for them. Almost. Their intentions had been noble. They hadn't realized he had planned on releasing the Chupacabra back into the wild once their lessons were through. They also hadn't realized it was still too young to survive on its own, and had greatly underestimated their abilities to control it once it was out of its cage.

Remus kind of wished he could have seen their faces. He imagined the Chupacabra had been just as shocked as they had been when it had realized it was free.

Unfortunately, the poor thing hadn't gotten far. It was young, and it had obviously been scared. It had gone straight from his classroom to the Astronomy Tower, where it had made an absolute bloody mess of everything before taking a piss right on Sinistra’s desk, a massive shit on her chair, and hiding itself in one of the big cabinets. Thankfully, the poor thing had been sound asleep when he and Hagrid had found it a few hours later, and it hadn't taken much coaxing to get it back into its cage.

In hindsight, dealing with the Chupacabra had been the easy part of the whole clusterfuck. He hadn't known Sinistra could yell that loudly. Apparently, a few of the telescopes had been expensive, and the armillary sphere that had been damaged was older than the castle. Remus had assured her that everything would be put back together in a few nights time, but now, watching his charges, he was really starting to question that promise. He had even told them they could use magic to set it all right, but most of the room was still in shambles, and now they were all arguing again.

“That's not right! I told you, that's not right!”

“That so? You want to come over here and do it yourself?”

“You need to fix the aperture before you can adjust the-”

“Alright, Josie, enough! Just shut up for a moment and let me-”

“No, no, you’ve both got it wrong. Let me see that, Travers. Oh, you bloody blockhead! This isn't even the right lens.”

“That's what I told him.”

“No, you didn't!”

Remus pinched the bridge of his nose.

Fucking hell.

Why had he ever thought having them clean up after themselves would be a good idea? Sinistra was already all up his arse about having to host her lessons in the courtyard. At this rate, she was going to be out there the rest of term, glaring at him.

“Here, Josie,” Travers said, “hand me that. Let me see if it fits here.”

“It doesn't go there, idiot. Can't you see that? Look at the diagram.”

“I am looking at the diagram!”

Jesus Christ

fucking Ravenclaws

Remus couldn't take this much longer. Thankfully, he didn't have to. A quick glance at the nearest clock told him detention time was up.

Remus shoved back the chair he had been sitting in and got to his feet, trying not to look too excited.

“Right then,” he said, rather loudly. 

The students all stopped their bickering and looked over at him, freezing with broken pieces of telescope in their hands.

Remus cleared his throat. “It's almost curfew now, and I think we’ve all had enough for the night. You're free to go to your dormitories, but I expect you back here tomorrow night.”

Travers looked at the others, a bit hesitantly, then looked back at Remus. “We, err. We can't be here tomorrow night, Professor.”

Remus raised an eyebrow. “Really? And why is that, Mister Travers?”

“Because we already have another detention tomorrow night. With Sprout.”

Remus’ eyes narrowed. “You have another detention?”

The students nodded, looking a bit ashamed.

Remus stared back at them. “Are you serious?”

They nodded.

“What the hell? How did you get another detention? And with Sprout?”

“It's, err, it's a rather long story,” Josie said, looking a bit embarrassed. 

“What did you do this time? Release the mandrakes?”

“No. It was the bowtruckles, actually. You see, she was using them for-”

Remus shook his head. “Oh, for Merlin’s sake. Fine. I’ll speak to her about your schedules. Perhaps we can trade off. Until then, I suppose you're dismissed.”

The students look relieved. 

“Oh, thank you, professor!” Josie said.

“Whatever, yeah, go on now, before I change my mind. Try not to free any other creatures though, alright? Maybe start a foundation or a fund or something a bit more practical, but, for fuck’s sake, leave them where you find them and don't take any more of them out of their cages.”

“Don't worry, we won't!” Travers said, following the others out. “We've learned that lesson. Have a good night, Professor!”

Remus watched them go, still rubbing the bridge of his nose. He probably should have escorted them back to their tower, what with a murderer on the loose and all, but he was knackered. He let out a long breath and looked back at the mess on the floor. Sinistra would just have to wait. He didn't have time to fix the telescopes himself right now. He had too many other things to deal with.

Remus grabbed his old suit jacket off the back of the chair he had been using and left the tower, heading for the seventh floor corridor.

He was almost to the Room of Requirement when he saw Severus, walking right toward him.

Remus stiffened. So did Severus. He stopped right in front of the tapestry of Barnabas the Barmy.

“Remus. I didn't think you’d still be up.”

“I had to supervise some wayward fifth years.”

“Ah, right. The detention. How's that going?”

“About as well as can be expected,” Remus said, keeping his distance.

“That poorly, eh?”

“That poorly,” Remus said, holding Severus’ gaze.

There was a long, awkward moment between them before Severus said, “Remus, look, what I said yesterday-”

“It wasn't just what you said, Severus. It's what you did; the way you always have to be in control; the way you lash out at everyone . . . even people who care about you.”

“I know,” Severus said. “I meant it when I told you I was sorry.” 

The conversation they’d had last night hadn't been long, but Severus was right, he had apologized. It had been something, at least, even though Remus was pretty sure Lily had put him up to it.

“You still need time,” Severus said. “I understand that. I broke your trust. I crossed a line. I never should have yelled at you like that, not in front of Potter and Weas- Not in front of the children.”

Remus kept his eyes on him, waiting for more.

“I lost my temper,” Severus said. “I'm always losing my temper. I am sorry, though. I really am trying to change. I want to, for you.”

Severus lowered his gaze. He really was sorry. Remus could see it in the way he stood; he could see it in his eyes, the eyes he had come to know so well.

Remus let out a long breath. “I think I owe you an apology, too. You aren't the only one who said things they shouldn't have. My temper isn't as bad as yours, but I think we can both agree that I have a few traits I’m not proud of.”

“Thank you, Remus, but I believe most of the fault this time is my own.”

“Maybe, maybe not,” Remus said. He took a few steps toward Severus. “You know, Lily asked me something yesterday, when we had a moment alone. She asked me if I cared about you; if I thought what we have is worth fixing.”

Severus stiffened again. “What did you tell her?”

“That I don't know,” Remus admitted. “We both agreed that you can be pretty difficult.”

“At least I’m in good company.”

“You are,” Remus said, managing a smile. “She told me something else, too. She was looking at Harry when she said it, but I got the message.”

“Oh? And what was that?”

“That so much of life is uncertain. We never know where we'll end up next…”

… case in point, Sirius ...

“... But we can't afford to let good things go. She said we have to grab onto them when we have them, because you never know when they’ll be gone.”

“She would know that, more than most.”

“She would, yes.”

“So... Is what we have still a good thing?”

Remus let out another long breath. “I think it's the best thing I’ve had in a long time but, if we're going to make this work, then we have got to figure out how to-”

Remus stopped. 

The hairs on his arm stood up. He sniffed the air and swore, catching wind of everyone coming up the staircase just before he heard the first sounds of shoes on stone.

“Oh, fucking hell.”

Severus turned around. “What? What is it?”

“Oh!” Hermione said, stopping dead in her tracks at the top of the stairs. “You're both… You're both here.”

Remus could see the rest of them now - Harry and Ron and a familiar flickering beneath the lamplight that could only be made by someone hiding under James’ old Invisibility Cloak.

He didn’t need to see Sirius and Lily. He could smell both of them.

Hermione looked nervous. “Sorry, we were just-”

“Traipsing around after curfew?” Severus asked her, raising an eyebrow.

“Technically, we were back inside the castle before curfew, we just decided to-”

“Miss Granger, please do not make me-”

“Alright, enough,” Remus said, interrupting them before Severus lost his head again. He turned to face the wall behind him, flicked his wand, and forced the hidden door to appear. “Everyone inside. Now. Before Filch or Peeves or someone else sees all of us standing around up here like some sort of bloody after hours circus.”

He wasn't sure if it was his tone or the flash of wolf he had felt dart across his face, but, thankfully, everyone listened.

Remus kept his eyes on where he thought the cloak was. As soon as the door to the room closed behind everyone, he grabbed it, and yanked it away from Sirius.

But, for once, Sirius wasn't the one he was most upset with.

“Fucking shit, Lily! Are you fucking kidding me?”

Lily snatched the cloak back from him, folding it carefully before handing it to Harry. “See, now,” she said, looking back at Remus, “I knew you were going to get upset.”

“Did you... Jesus Christ, Lily, did you actually leave the castle?”

“I did,” she said. “Someone had to keep an eye on things. I couldn't send a bunch of children off into the woods alone with a herd of Thestrals to see which one of them was Deathtouched.”

“Which one of them was... “ Remus looked at Harry, Ron, and Hermione. “Oh, for Merlin’s sake, Lily, they can't go through the Veil!”

“Someone has to,” Lily said. 

“We are not sending children into the Veil!”

“No,” Lily said, holding his gaze, “but you are sending me.”

Remus stopped. “What?”

“I’m Deathtouched. I made sure. I can go through the veil.”

“Lily, wait, no, I’m not going to let you-”

She smiled. “There you go again, thinking you know best; that I’ll even give you a choice in the matter.”

“Lily,” Sirius said. Remus had all but forgotten he was standing there. “You can't.”

“I can,” she said, giving him a sad smile. “Someone's got to get you back.”

“Lily, no. We don't even know if anyone is going to survive this trip. You can't just volunteer yourself to be the one to go in there.”

“She won’t be alone,” Severus said. “I’m going to go with her.  I'm Deathtouched as well.”

“Wait,” Remus said, now looking at both of them, trying not to look as horrified as he felt. “Now, wait just a bloody minute. You can't both go in there!”

“I’ll admit,” Lily said, “it would be nice to have some company.”

“Mum,” Harry said, suddenly seeming to realize what was happening, “wait, no, I... I just got you back.”

Lily smiled at him. “I know. Don't worry, darling. I’ve already been there, remember? I’ve already stared death in the face. It has to be me. I'm not afraid.”

“But, Mum…”

“Lily,” Sirius said again, “this was all my fault. I'm the one who should go into the veil, not you.”

“Now, now, Sirius, as Remus pointed out, we can't send a child into the Veil.”

“Oh, for the last time! I'm not a fucking-”

“Right then,” Hermione said loudly, startling them all into silence. “Maybe you can all discuss who gets to try to escape certain death later?”

She paused, waiting a moment, before clearing her throat and continuing. “The comet will be here in a few days. So, if you all don't mind, I was hoping we could maybe accomplish something else tonight.”

“Oh, really?” Severus said, glaring a bit at Hermione. “And what is that, Miss Granger?”

“Well, there is one more thing we need before we can go through the veil, and, as it happens, I found out Professor Dumbledore will be away from Hogwarts for the next few nights, and I think we can all agree that we don't need to involve him in our problems unnecessarily, so I thought this might be the right time to try and-”

“Oh, fuck me,” Remus said, “is this about the bloody phoenix?”

“I can't believe I agreed to this,” Severus said, robes billowing around him as he followed Remus back down the seventh floor corridor.

“If you’d rather I went alone-”

“No, no,” Severus said. “It will be easier if we're both there to subdue the creature.”

Remus sure hoped that was true. He actually couldn't imagine Fawkes putting up much of a fight, but then, he really doubted Fawkes had ever been kidnapped before. 

Hermione had been pretty sure that they just needed one of his feathers, but Remus didn't want to take any chances, especially not if Lily and Severus were both still determined to march off into the Veil. He would feel a lot better if he sent the whole damn bird in there with them. The way he figured it, it would be better for them to have too many feathers than not enough.

Especially if he decided to join them.

They were almost to Dumbledore's office when Severus’ voice interrupted his thoughts.

“We can't let her do it.”

“What?”

“Lily,” Severus said. “We can't let her go into the Veil.”

“I don't think we're going to get much of a say in the matter.”

“Remus, you don't understand. Lily... Lily’s changed. The way she is now... If the Veil calls to her and she goes in, I’m not sure we’ll be able to get her back out.”

Remus shook his head, thinking of Harry. “No, no, she's got plenty of reasons to get in and get out.”

Severus cleared his throat. “You think Potter- You think the boy will be enough to persuade her?”

“Did you see her, Severus? Did you see how happy she is with him? I don't care what Azkaban did to her. She won't leave Harry. Not again.”

Severus was quiet for a moment, walking next to him in silence as they approached the gargoyle that guarded Dumbledore's office door.

“Will you go, too?” 

Remus looked back at Severus. “Into the Veil?”

Severus nodded.

“If I need to,” Remus said. “If you don't try to stop me.”

Severus smiled. “I don't think I’ll get much of a say in the matter. It’s lollipop, by the way.”

“What?” 

“Lollipop.”

Remus almost jumped as the massive stone Gargoyle standing in front of him stepped to the side.

“Ah, right,” he said. “Lollipop.”

Dumbledore always had shared his love of sweets.

“Right then,” Remus said to Severus, “let's do this before I lose my nerve.”

He took a deep breath, stepped past the gargoyle, and reached for the door, leading them both into the office beyond.

It was dark. And quiet. Remus shuffled forward awkwardly for a moment, until Severus walked up next to him and ignited the end of his wand.

Remus looked around. Hermione was right. Dumbledore wasn't there, but a version of the headmaster was still watching them from one of the portraits on the wall. Thankfully, he just looked amused. Most of the people in the other portraits were asleep.

So was Fawkes. He was on his perch, with his head tucked under one of his wings, snoring quietly.

Remus walked forward slowly, keeping his eyes on the bird, still unsure how exactly they should go about this. Phoenixes were highly resistant to spells; they couldn't just bind him or stun him and drag him unconscious into the Veil. This would be a whole lot easier if Fawkes was awake and willing.

Unfortunately, that wasn't what happened. Not at first.

Remus was almost right in front of Fawkes when the bird woke up, startled, and let out a piercing, rageful cry.

Remus winced and covered his ears as Fawkes leapt from his perch, flying at his head and scratching at his face with his talons before taking to the air, flapping his wings in a fury set for hell, knocking books and pieces of parchment from the shelves and tables as he came back, diving at Remus again.

God fucking damn it!

The bird had never liked him very much. He suspected it had always been able to sense the wolf.

Some of the people in the portraits had woken up now. They started yelling at him. Some of them were shouting at him to leave the bird alone, others were encouraging him to, “Take it, take it! Bloody take the squabbling thing away!”

Remus made a dive toward Fawkes, trying to grab him as the phoenix flew lower again, but that only made the bird even more agitated. It squawked as it came at him once more, determined to claw out his eyes. Remus had just dropped to the floor to protect himself from its wrath when Severus stepped between him and the bird, calmly holding out his arm.

Fawkes took another turn around the room, then landed gently on Severus’ outstretched arm. Severus lowered his wand and smiled, reaching into the pocket of his robe and taking out what looked and smelled very much like a dead moke.

“Are you... are you bloody shitting me?” Remus asked, shoving himself up off the floor and pulling a bright red feather out of his hair, unsure if he should pocket it or chuck it in a fireplace and burn the rest of the bird for good measure.

Severus smiled, reaching out and stroking the phoenix. “Fawkes and I have an understanding. We’ve known each other for a long time. He's always seemed to like me, especially if I remember to bring him a treat.”

“Jesus Christ, Severus. You couldn't mention that before he almost fucking killed me?”

“Oh, come on, Remus. You're the one who startled him. How would you feel if someone barged in on you in the middle of the night?”

He was about to say it obviously wouldn’t be the same, but the wolf inside of him knew that was a lie. He kept his distance as Severus turned, placing Fawkes back on his perch.

“Wait, what are you doing?”

“Well, the way I understand it, we don’t need Fawkes, just a few of his feathers . . . “ Severus said, bending down to pocket some of the ones that had scattered on the floor.

“No, no,” Remus said, “get another one of those dead mokes of yours ready. I’m not taking any chances.”

He looked back at Fawkes, holding the phoenix’s gaze; daring him to try scratching at him again. “Just to be safe, we’re taking the whole bloody bird.”

Chapter Text

“I can’t believe I’m doing this,” Professor Snape said. 

While Hermione sympathised, she was also keen to get the immediate part of ‘this’ over with so they weren’t hanging around in the problematic public corridors of Hogwarts. 

Snape produced a key, which looked like it was made of bones too delicate to be human, and inserted it into the lock of McGonagall’s office door. 

Snick. 

He opened it and impatiently gestured them all- Hermione, Harry, Ron, Sirius, Lily, and Professor Lupin- inside. 

“Why don’t I have one of those?” Professor Lupin asked. He was clutching a large sack to his chest which, Hermione assumed, contained the now stunned phoenix. 

“It’s a Head of House privilege for emergencies,” Professor Snape muttered. “Not worth the additional duties, if you ask me.”

Sirius rose on his toes, presumably to ask questions he was not supposed to. 

Hermione elbowed him, stopping him in his tracks. Professor Snape could be vindictive and mean, but he got things done. She was also beginning to understand his need to take responsibility for everyone and everything. And, was it her imagination, or had he started taking her a little more seriously now that he had finally realised she possessed adult-level brains? 

The door closed behind them. McGonagall’s fire burned low, and the room was dim and quiet. 

Hermione took the biscuit tin off the mantelpiece and fished out her Ministry pass. 

“I’m assuming it still works out of hours?” she asked; a question which had been plaguing her for days. 

“According to my research,” Professor Snape said. 

He retrieved the next tin on the mantelpiece, which contained Floo powder. 

Hermione went first, since she had the pass. One by one, the others tumbled out behind her, every scuffle and mutter echoing strangely around the huge, empty Atrium. 

The ceiling was dark; the fountain still. Hermione found the quiet much more intimidating than the daytime hustle and bustle she’d become used to. Even the security desk was empty. 

“Do they really not bother with security at night?” Harry asked. 

“Apparently not,” Professor Lupin said, shrugging. 

“I don’t think my badge is for the gates here,” Hermione said as they passed through an open set of golden gates behind the desk. “It’s for the Department of Mysteries revolving room.”

They crowded into a lift and went down. At one point, Professor Lupin jumped violently, nearly elbowing Lily in the face. 

“The bag twitched,” he muttered, blushing scarlet. “Fucking bird.”

“Professor!” she exclaimed, genuinely shocked, as Lily let out a snort of laughter. 

“That feathered hellbeast might have taken a shine to Harry and Professor Snape, but it hates me,” he said sheepishly. “It tried to maul me to death when we borrowed it.”

Professor Snape’s mouth twitched as the bag moved again.

“Oh, god, Severus, tell me you brought more lizards?” Professor Lupin's tone slid towards panicky; not one Hermione had ever heard from him before. How bad could the phoenix be? 

“Er, would you like me to hold him instead, Professor?” Harry asked. 

The lift juddered to a halt with a soft chime, and the doors slid open. 

“No, thank you, Harry,” Professor Lupin said bravely. “I’m sure I’ll manage.”

Hermione glanced at Ron, who just gave her a characteristic ‘I have no idea’ motion. This consisted of a baffled grimace, a shake of the head and a shrug all in unison, and lasted about a second. 

“What happens when we get into the Department of Mysteries?” Lily asked as they crept along the corridor, still waiting for security or Aurors to pounce at any moment. 

“There’s a revolving room with doors,” Hermione said. “I’ll select the Death Chamber, and it will open for us. Then, those of you who are Deathtouched can go through the arch and collect the sand while Ron and I stand guard.”

After a moment, she looked up at Lily. “Will you tell me what it’s like beyond The Veil, if it’s not too traumatic?” she asked quietly. “I’ve had it described to me, but...”

She squirmed, probably making the face Filby had when she’d tried not to wish she’d witnessed death too. 

“If I can,” Lily said. Her eyes were fixed on the door at the end of the corridor. 

When they entered, the others were appropriately impressed by the circular room and the braziers that flared blue. 

Hermione gripped her badge like a talisman and said, in her most authoritative tone, “Research Assistant Granger for the Death Chamber, please.”

Her voice was not wobbling. It was not. 

This was not a broom; she was in charge here. And if the resident Unspeakables had never broken in out of hours to do extra research, she’d eat the Sorting Hat. 

The door behind them thudded shut and there were several gasps as the outer wall began to spin. 

“Hermione,” Ron croaked, “this is bloody terrifying.”

She allowed herself a tiny smile. 

The room juddered to a halt. She moved towards the door in front of her without hesitation, just like Filby did, and opened it. 

There, at the bottom of the amphitheatre, was The Veil. More than one person let out a nervous exhale behind her. 

Her elation evaporated now they were literally (a term she did not use lightly) looking death in the face. 

Their steps seemed far too loud on the stones as they walked down and came to a halt in front of the arch and the dais. 

“Can you, er, hear the whispers?” Hermione asked the others. “I hope they’re not tempting you to step through before we’re ready.”

Harry and Lily had gone rather glazed, staring at the curtain of rags. Neither of them answered her.

“It looks like... whatever Dementor robes are made of,” Harry said quietly. 

Professor Lupin laid a comforting hand on his shoulder. His nostrils were flared. 

The rags that hung down from the arch did have a faint sheen to them, now they were close enough to touch. And, like Dementor robes, they rippled slowly in an unseen wind. For the first time, Hermione wondered if those rags were somehow alive. It was not a pleasant thought. 

“I hear them,” Professor Snape said suddenly, his voice strained and his neck muscles bulging with tension. 

Sirius was breathing audibly, teeth bared at The Veil. 

“Am I just being stupid, as usual?” Ron asked. “I can’t hear anything.”

She patted his elbow, noting the hurt in his voice. “Neither can I,” she said. “It’s because we’ve never seen anyone die.”

“Guess that’s not such a bad thing,” he muttered gruffly. But he didn’t shake her arm off. 

“Let’s get this done,” Professor Snape snapped. He began to produce bottles from hidden pockets inside his robes, poking the others until they turned to him, blinking, and took at least one each. 

Professor Lupin opened the sack and- incredibly gingerly- removed a limp, mostly unconscious phoenix. After some juggling, he settled Fawkes in the crook of his elbow like a feathery baby that might explode at any moment. 

“Please, for the love of Circe,” he said. “No one let go of the phoenix.”

Hermione and Ron stood back. It suddenly occurred to her that they had no backup plan, and that every single Deathtouched person intended to march right into Limbo together. 

“What do we do if you don’t come back?” she squeaked. “How long should we wait?”

“Well, if Lily and I don’t come back, then most of your problems are over,” Sirius said with a brittle grin. 

“Not helpful, Sirius,” Lily muttered. 

Professor Lupin sighed. “Perhaps you’d better wait until tomorrow and alert the Unspeakables. But I’m sure we’ll be fine. We have a whole phoenix, after all.”

“And no one is going to do anything other than walk through, shovel sand into receptacles, keep hold of the phoenix, and walk back out,” Professor Snape said pointedly, staring at each of them in turn before focusing his gaze on Lily, who nodded.

“Potter,” he said, looking at Harry, “if you are really so intent on following your mother and the rest of us in, I suggest you keep an extra firm hold, unless you intend to get left behind.”

Harry nodded like his mother had, though his eyes were still fixed on the veil.

Professor Lupin draped Fawkes’ long tail feathers over his elbow so nobody had to bend over. 

“Ready?” he asked. 

Everyone was pale and quiet as they took a good hold and squeezed tightly together. Harry looked back and nodded at Ron and Hermione. 

Then they all shuffled towards The Veil, passed through it, and disappeared. 

A strong wind whipped against Lily’s face, coarse and gritty. When it finally abated, she cracked one eye open. 

An endless desert stretched in all directions; shifting, silvery dunes of sand that seemed to undulate independently to each other. She had to stop looking into the distance or she’d get a migraine. They seemed to be standing at the top of one. 

“Wow,” Harry said. 

“I wonder,” Remus said, “would the arch still be there if we weren’t holding Fawkes?”

Lily jerked a glance over one shoulder and was immensely relieved to see the arch hulking behind her. There were no rags on this side, though. Just what looked like very blurry old glass, or perhaps very deep water. She could just about make out two small smears that might be Hermione and Ron on the other side. 

“What’s the best way to fill these bottles?” Sirius asked. “Shove them into the sand and hope it falls in? Unless anyone has a highly specific sand summoning spell?”

Sev sighed and dropped his bottle on the ground, keeping firm hold of Fawkes as he drew his wand. 

“Locomotor Sand.” 

Lily watched as a fine trickle of it snaked up and into his bottle. 

Sirius and Harry copied him, while Remus stood there awkwardly holding the phoenix. Lily opted to fill hers manually, as she didn’t fully trust her wand skills yet. She wasn’t sure it was any slower than using magic, but the sand seemed to vibrate and fizz against her skin as she sank it below the surface. She supposed that made a kind of sense, since it was time travelling sand. 

She had mostly filled her bottle when she realised the vibrations were growing stronger and more rhythmic. 

“Can anyone else feel that?” she asked. 

Ordinarily, Remus might have done, as he was quite sensitive to sounds and sensations. Unfortunately, he was in the process of trying to hand Fawkes over to Harry, because the bird was beginning to stir from its sleep. She didn’t blame him for not wanting to be anywhere near the beak end when it woke. 

Sev and Sirius were squabbling again, over anything and everything. 

She gave a weary sigh and took a deep breath. 

“Boys!” she yelled at the top of her lungs. “Can you feel that shaking?”

Guilt flashed over Sev’s and Sirius’ faces as they stopped sniping at each other. 

“Oh, shit, yes I can,” Remus said. 

They all looked down at the quivering sand. It felt like someone was banging a giant drum far beneath their feet, getting faster and faster. 

“Did Hermione ever say exactly what form the psychopomps took?” Remus added, his face pale. “Because it feels like Wormsign.”

“What’s Wormsign?” Sirius asked, raising his voice over the now audible shaking. 

“You know, in the sci-fi book I lent you- I don’t think you finished it, actually; you said it was too long- wait, have I even given it to you yet? I can’t remember how old we were when-”

“Remus! Now is really not the time!” Sev snapped. 

The sand particles were rattling against each other with a long, endless hiss. Maybe it was a giant snake or whatever worm Remus was talking about down there. 

“We should go,” Lily said. “Or at least stand right next to the arch.”

Unfortunately, Fawkes chose that moment to rear up out of Harry’s arms and attempt to savage Remus. 

“What is wrong with that bloody bird?” Sirius demanded, as Remus flinched back. 

“He can sense the- oh, bloody hell- he doesn’t like me!” Remus panted, trying to fend off Fawkes’ talons and beak one-handedly. “Remind me again, Severus, why you didn’t just dose him up with a sleeping- ouch!”

The phoenix, who did not seem to give a fuck that the rest of them were all hanging on precariously to his tail feathers, clamped his beak around the side of Remus’ wand hand. 

“Let me get him a bribe,” Sev said, rummaging awkwardly in his pocket.

“I think we’re a bit beyond bribes!” Remus snarled. “I really didn’t want to do this, but- Rictumsempra!” 

He twisted his hand around and hexed the bird. His beak started chattering uncontrollably. 

Remus dodged the talons, cradling his bleeding hand to his chest. The sand shifted beneath his feet, he lost his grip on Fawkes’ tail, and then he was sliding backwards down the dune. 

“Everyone, move now!” Lily yelled. 

They’d only made it a couple of awkward steps towards Remus when the sand around them exploded. 

There was a blur of grey as something- or thousands of somethings- shot up into the air, surrounding them on all sides. 

“Remus!” Sirius screamed. 

“Keep moving!”

They were surrounded by the relentless flapping of thousands of tiny wings, as if they were at the centre of some sort of tornado. Sparrows, Lily thought distractedly. Not normally something she’d be afraid of, but she’d never seen this many in one place, and something about them seemed so very wrong. 

The rush of spectral wings should have been deafening, but it sounded more like an endless stream of whispers. One moment, she thought it seemed sinister; like a string of curses she couldn’t quite make out, or Parseltongue, and the next it sounded almost enticing, as though James was murmuring secrets just out of sight and earshot. If she just took a step or two forwards, she might be able to understand... 

Lily shook her head sharply. The birds were whirling around them at breakneck speed, and their eyes were black as the abyss. If they hadn’t been holding onto the phoenix, they’d have been ripped to shreds by those tiny needle beaks. It would be madness to reach out and touch them. 

They managed a few more slipping steps in the direction they hoped Remus had fallen. 

Without warning, Harry thrust Fawkes at Sev and raised his wand. “Expecto Patronum!”

A glowing, bluish cloud parted the birds and they could make out Remus crouched on the ground just a few metres away, his own Patronus snarling above his head. 

He looked like he was in pain, but he was still alive. 

They staggered towards him as the Patronus began to falter. Sev fired off one of his own, and some sort of deer galloped through the air, charging at the birds and giving Remus a little more space. Lily tried a Patronus too, but she couldn’t summon a happy enough memory through the chaos of the birds and the thoughts of Azkaban that kept rearing in her mind instead. She managed even less than Harry’s incorporeal cloud. 

Remus struggled a few steps towards them until Lily could reach out and grab him by the hand, pulling him close enough to hold Fawkes’ tail feathers again. 

The first thing he did was look Fawkes dead in the eye, once his grip was secure. 

“You’re a cunt,” he said. 

Fawkes preened. 

“Let’s just get out of here,” Lily said. 

They staggered back up the dune, until the tunnel of birds parted enough to make out the arch. 

“Do we have the bottles?” Sev yelled. 

“Yes! Whatever we’ve got will have to be enough,” Remus croaked. 

The whirring of wings had grown loud and angry, like television static and helicopter blades and Muffliato all rolled into one. Those birds really wanted to shred their souls. 

And they were closer too, pressing in on all sides. Lily could feel the rush of air on her skin from every tiny wingbeat. It wasn’t a great leap to imagine thousands of beaks and claws tearing into her, mentally and physically, and scattering the pieces to oblivion. 

“We’re nearly there,” Sirius growled through gritted teeth. 

Why did the slope feel so much steeper now? The sand seemed to be draining away under their feet like an hourglass, as though the dune were collapsing. Would the arch drop too, or just stay in the air while they sank hopelessly beneath it? 

Fawkes let out a shriek as they effectively used him as a tow rope. Finally, they were all within leaping distance of the arch. 

“Everyone through!” Sev said, panting with exertion. 

Remus and Sirius charged forwards, releasing the tail at the last moment. The dark water rippled around them, and then they were gone. 

“Potter!” Sev barked. “Move quickly!”

The dune was dropping. The arch was now a step up. 

Somehow, Harry slipped. Instead of scrambling through the arch, he sank to his knees and lurched sideways. 

Without thinking, Lily let go of Fawkes’ tail to pull him up. 

The birds screamed. 

They broke formation and dive bombed. 

One hand gripping the arch, Lily tried to wrap herself around Harry’s body. Beaks and claws raked her in all directions, painful in their own right, but each strike seemed to wrench at her chest as well. Was this what it was like to have your soul torn out? She had felt something like it whenever the Dementors had come close. 

It was hard to focus over the pain and the growing pressure on her heart; as though it was unravelling bit by bit, and she was being made a fraction more insubstantial with every cut. But her heart felt heavier each time too, forcing the breath out of her lungs and the blood to pound against the backs of her eyeballs. 

For a moment, it lessened, and she realised that the arms around her were real. Sev was there, and was trying to shield her from the birds. 

“Hold- Fawkes- again-” he wheezed, shoving the bird towards their chests. 

“Harry!”

Blindly, Lily grabbed at one of his arms and guided it forwards until she could feel his muscles tense around Fawkes’ neck. 

Only then, several snags on her soul later, did she bury her own hand into the feathers. 

The sparrows drew back immediately. 

Sev gave a laboured, rattling gasp. “We need to get out of here.”

Lily squinted through the birds, still whirling around them but not quite touching. 

The arch was now at shoulder height. 

“Fuck, Sev, we’re going to struggle to make it,” she said. “Harry, we’ll boost you first, and-”

She could feel the sand falling away beneath her feet. 

“It’s a long way up, Mum,” he said quietly. “How are we all going to keep hold of Fawkes while we do it?”

“I have a better idea,” Sev said. 

The bottom step had reached eye level, and was slowly rising. 

“Don’t you fucking dare, Severus Snape,” Lily snapped. “You are not sacrificing yourself!”

He turned to face them, his expression deadly serious. 

Then he lowered his face to a level with Fawkes. 

“I know you haven’t had the most pleasurable evening,” he said. “But there are two Gryffindors here who need you to carry them out of here. You know me. You seemed to like me earlier, comparatively. But if you decide I’m too... green for your taste, then fine. But take them, and quickly.”

Fawkes cocked his head, considering. 

“Hold onto his tail, not his neck,” Sev said. 

“Professor, you can’t-”

The bird shifted in Harry’s arms, and they both moved their hands to his tail feathers. He spread his wings and beat them once. 

“You can’t leave him!” Lily screamed at the bird. 

As they sank beyond arms’ reach of the arch, Fawkes took to the air, hovering over their heads. 

Then he looked down and made an imperious sort of squawk. Just as the sparrows were about to converge on Sev, he flicked a tail feather in his direction. 

“Thank fuck,” Harry muttered. 

Sev caught hold, his expression openly relieved. 

Then they all rose weightlessly into the air, the psychopomps billowing around them. 

Fawkes soared up to the arch. The sand and the sparrows whipped around them, but he dived straight into the wall of glass. It passed around them like cold, heavy jelly, and they all collapsed in a heap on the dais in the Department of Mysteries. 

For a little while, everyone just screamed in relief. Even Hermione, who didn’t know exactly what she had been screaming. But when the last three fell through the arch after what seemed like an eternity, everyone just hugged one another and made noise. 

When they finally separated and let go of each other, Professor Snape brushing down his robes self-consciously, a throat cleared loudly at the top of the room. 

Hermione looked up in horror. There, in an ominous line by the door, stood Wells, Filby and Hu, with another man she’d never met. Tall and blond, she really hoped this wasn’t the dreaded Head Unspeakable Croaker. Their expressions were all identically grim. 

“Ah, I knew I sensed a disturbance in the Force.”

Everyone, including Wells and Filby, turned to look at the man beside Hu. He held all their gazes for a few seconds, before grinning sheepishly. 

“What?” he said. “I don’t get to wave a wand around like you lot. The best I can do is throw out a good, geeky quote.”

Filby giggled. 

“This is my husband, Jonathan,” Hu said wearily. “The alarm went off while we were out at dinner.”

Hermione blinked, now taking in the smart casual Muggle clothing that had completely bypassed her brain earlier. 

“I am not sure why you thought you could just waltz into the most dangerous place in the Department of Mysteries without triggering one,” Wells said, looking at her a touch reprovingly. 

She squirmed. 

“You had better have an exceptionally good explanation, Research Assistant Granger. Because I just dismissed the Auror response unit.”

Ron and Harry bristled beside her. 

She took a deep breath, fighting the urge to clutch at her Time Turner in case they tried to confiscate it. Which, to be clear, would happen over her dead body.

“Actually, I do,” she said. “A couple of days ago, a dazed and confused Sirius Black turned up at Hogwarts. Who had travelled forwards from 1976, by accident, in a lightning storm sent haywire by a passing comet. We’re trying to send him back.”

The Unspeakables lost their minds. 

“What do you mean, he travelled forwards?” Filby yelped. “That’s fucking impossible!”

“See, this is why I bought you a sonic screwdriver,” Jonathan said, nudging Hu. 

“My boy, you must let me examine you immediately!” Wells said, skipping down the steps at a rate that was frankly dangerous, given his age. 

“Nobody is examining anyone just yet,” Professor Lupin said firmly, as Sirius shrank backwards into his chest. 

Something in his expression gave Wells pause, and he stopped in front of them, looking from person to person. 

“Am I to understand you collectively acquired a phoenix, entered the Ministry after hours, and risked your souls through The Veil to gather sand for some sort of clandestine time travel experiment?”

“In essence, yes,” Professor Snape said. 

“Hi, Professor!” Filby said, catching up with Wells. “Fancy seeing you here! At least that explains the phoenix.”

He raised an eyebrow. “Miss Filby.”

“He nearly gave me a nervous breakdown over my Potions NEWT,” she announced to Hermione in a stage whisper. “After I got one hundred and four percent on results day, I cast Geminio on all those nasty pickling jars and they filled the whole classroom before he could reverse the spell.” 

Sirius snickered loudly. 

“But Miss Granger,” Wells said, turning back to her. “Did we not have a conversation in which we explicitly stated that a Time Turner could only go back five hours?”

“Yes, but-”

“But what? Did the conversation not also touch upon the fact that you cannot simply build a bigger hourglass? It doesn’t matter what receptacle you try to fill, the sand loses its energy after five hours!”

Part of Hermione wanted to curl into a tiny ball at his tone. He was an adult; he was an expert. Who was she to try and correct him on the basis of a hunch and a single afternoon’s research?

“Do you really think, in our collective Unspeakable careers of one hundred and thirty years, we haven’t explored every conceivable avenue of research?” he went on. “There is no object in existence that can withstand that much magic!”

Ron’s elbow bumped against hers. “You should hear her out,” he said loudly. “She’s a fucking genius.”

Warmth bloomed inside Hermione. She pressed her elbow back against his. 

“Yeah, go on, Hermione,” Harry said. 

Beside him, Professor Lupin- an intelligent adult she respected- nodded encouragingly. Lily leaned forward in anticipation while Professor Snape raised an intrigued eyebrow. 

If they all thought she could do it... 

She let out a slow breath, meeting Wells’ eyes. 

“I read your book on time travel,” she said. “I ordered a copy from Flourish and Blott’s when the Time Turner was issued to me. I tracked down the articles Hu published because I wanted to know what I was getting myself into. And, when I read them again recently, I had a thought.”

“And that was?” Wells said, clasping his hands behind his back. 

“You only ever tried to use the sand in an inanimate casing,” she said. “And it makes sense that it just ran out of charge. But what about a magical creature or a person? If a witch or wizard can keep casting spells indefinitely, couldn’t they also recharge the sand so it could allow them to travel back further?”

Filby’s jaw dropped. “Fuck me,” she said quietly. 

“I’m suggesting we put the sand directly into Sirius,” Hermione said, encouraged by the expression on Filby’s face. 

Wells considered her for a moment. “Miss Granger, if I could offer you the position of Unspeakable right this very moment, I would. Your leap of intuition is spot on. It is indeed theoretically possible to use the magic within a witch or wizard to power the sand to make a longer journey-”

“What?” Filby screeched. “Why didn’t I know this?”

Wells turned with a touch of exasperation. 

“You know that experiment, well before your time, where Head Unspeakable Croaker was seriously injured?”

“Well, yes, but-”

“It wasn’t an object that exploded; it was the late Unspeakable Pilgrim,” he said flatly. “That was the point at which we discovered that large quantities of sand react very badly with the soul. It wasn’t just his body that was broken to pieces, and the shockwave nearly destroyed the entire Time Room!”

“Souls are not meant to be split, you see,” Hu added. He and Jonathan had now joined them at the bottom of the steps. “If you force a substance as volatile as time-travelling sand into the same casing- i.e., the human body- the splitting of the intact soul happens very violently indeed.”

“Can you imagine what someone unscrupulous could do with that information?” Wells went on. “You could create either a huge, magical explosion or travel back in time to who knows what purpose, at the expense of some unfortunate victim. That’s why we had to designate the experiment highly classified.”

Everyone fell silent. The only sound was the shuffling of feet against stone. 

“I’m not going back, then,” Sirius said finally. “Here isn’t so awful, I guess, but I feel like nearly everyone I knew died because I disappeared, and now I can’t change that.”

“It wasn’t your fault, Sirius,” Professor Lupin said, resting a hand on his shoulder. “A comet sent you into the future. Years later, I was the only one who didn’t die or get imprisoned.”

Hermione was thinking furiously. Facts were facts, but they were there to be sidestepped. 

That was when Lily stepped forward. 

“I have a question,” she said. 

Wells gave her a polite bow of the head. “Ask away, Madam-?”

“Potter,” she said, after a moment. “Lily Potter.”

“Oh,” Filby said, in the tone of someone who was far more excited to know what was going on than to scream for the Aurors to arrest the Azkaban escapee in the room. “Oh.”

“You said that it’s an intact soul that reacts to the sand, splitting and making a huge explosion,” she said. “What about one that’s not quite perfect; one that’s been partially unravelled by Dementors and shredded by psychopomps?”

“Hang on a minute, Mum,” Harry said, and then he and Professor Snape started shouting their disapproval at the same time. 

Wells’ eyes went glazed. He turned to Hu and they started conferring in an undertone. After a few seconds, Hermione squared her shoulders and walked over to join them. 

“Is she right?” she asked. 

Filby popped up between him and Hu like a manic squirrel. 

“Obviously, I wasn’t there,” she rattled off, “but the theory holds, doesn’t it?”

“I think so,” Hu said slowly. “When the sand causes a fission of the intact soul, then one that’s been previously damaged and therefore rendered less reactive, should be able to interact with the sand without an explosion. But it is not- and I cannot stress this enough without any experimentation- a guarantee.”

“We don’t have time to experiment properly,” Hermione said. “The comet passes by again in a few days. But if Sirius goes back and changes what the past is to us, will any of this even have ever happened?”

“That is the question,” Hu said. “If the time travel works at the expense of Madam Potter’s life, does she really die in our present if her past actions change and many different choices are made in 1976?”

“I don’t know,” Hermione said, biting her lip. “I was really hoping you could tell me.”

“My dear, this is uncharted territory for all of us,” Wells said. “She may die; she may not. But, if she succeeds in providing the catalyst for Mr Black to go back to his time, none of us may ever know.”

Lily walked over, apparently unaware of the monumental occurrence of Harry and Professor Snape agreeing with each other. Her face was set with a determination Hermione certainly wasn’t going to butt heads against.

“With the possible exception of Sev, my soul is the most raggedy,” she said. “I can feel it’s not right, and neither is my magic. Besides, I’m the one who’s suffered the most in this reality. If we send Sirius back to the 70s, he can stop this all from happening, and Harry will never know anything but two living and functional parents. I have to do it. It has to be me.”

Chapter Text

It was a few days later when Remus headed down to breakfast, moving a bit slower than he had expected he would, already able to hear the loud chorus of excited voices that came from The Great Hall. Remus sighed. It had been a long night, though thankfully not for the reasons it had been the week before. No, last night he had been awake much longer than he should have been, and for a much better reason. He and Severus had finally gotten to spend some time alone.

Remus smiled as he walked down the last few steps of the staircase. He wondered how long it would take Severus to find the cup of tea he had left for him on his nightstand.  Hopefully not too long. He had cast a self-warming charm on it though, just in case.

The Great Hall was packed. Remus had never seen it this crowded this early on a Saturday. Students filled the tables, talking loudly over each other, all sounding very excited.

"Did you see it? It's amazing! Absolutely incredible!"

"I heard it will be even more visible tonight!"

"There's a group of us going up to the astronomy tower this evening. Professor Sinistra is going to be up there! We've all got special permission! She's going to tell us all about it." 

"Surprised they're letting us go up there so late, with that escaped criminal from Azkaban still on the loose."

"Oh, that's such a load of dragon shit! I bet there was never even anyone here! They haven't mentioned it in days."

"I heard they got her. I heard she's dead."

"She's not dead! Kathy Edwards thought she saw her again! I bet she's still hiding. I bet she's just waiting for one of us to walk off somewhere alone."

"It's Harry Potter who should be worried. Did you hear it's his mum? I heard she's a total nutter. I heard she wants to kill him..."

Remus ignored the rest of what the students were saying, rubbing at the back of his neck as he headed toward the Gryffindor table, suddenly feeling even more tired. Sirius was right. He really had gone and gotten old.

Remus stopped for a moment, scanning the table ahead of him, looking for Harry, Ron, and Hermione, but he couldn't see any of them. That was odd. He had thought for sure they would be-

"It will be tonight, won't it?"

Remus jumped. He turned around to see Hermione, standing right behind him, looking a bit nervous.

Remus nodded. "Yes," he told her. "It will be tonight."

"Have you seen it yet?"

"The comet?"

Hermione nodded. "I saw it last night. It was visible from one of the windows of Gryffindor Tower, just after midnight."

"Ah, right."

Remus hadn't seen it. He had been sitting in front of the fire in Severus' quarters about then, having himself another glass of whisky, trying to ignore everything he had known was going on outside of that room. He hadn't wanted to think about the risks they were all about to take, but he couldn't very well keep ignoring them now.

"I didn't see it, no. I was, err, I was already in for the night."

"It's not as visible now, in the daylight," Hermione said, biting her lower lip. "I imagine it will be again tonight, though."

Poor Hermione, Remus thought. She had really taken on so much in the last week, all for the sake of getting Sirius back home.

"It's alright," he told her, putting a gentle hand on her shoulder, trying very hard to be the adult here. “Whatever happens, this will all be over tonight."

Hermione nodded. "Do you... How much time will it take?"

"Not long. Sever- er- Professor Snape has everything ready. Pending any unforeseen problems, it shouldn't take long at all."

It was the waiting that would be the hard part.  The waiting and the not knowing what would happen next.

"We'll meet out in the clearing, just after sundown, if you can-"

"I'll tell Harry and Ron. We'll be there with Sirius, if he doesn't come find you before then."

"How is he?" Remus asked.

He hadn't seen Sirius since last night, just before he had gone off with Severus. They had been talking and laughing in the Room of Requirement with the others, taking turns holding Lily's snake, who had finally started to warm up to them all a bit more, though it seemed to like Harry best. They'd had no idea what Lily had been saying to the snake, but it didn't matter. For once, they had all just been having fun.

In fact, they had all been in a pretty good mood, until, mid-laugh, Ron had looked over at Lily and asked her, "Are you going to take him with you?"

Lily had gone quiet. They all had.

Remus had stood up, using the excuse that he needed to refill his glass. He had been glad when Severus had stood up, too; when Severus had leaned closer and told him it might be better for them to leave together and go finish off the bottle of whisky he had in his cabinet. 

Remus had blushed a bit then, as Severus had smiled at him. He had left with him pretty quickly after that, walking right past Sirius, who had, surprisingly, winked at him.

The tosser.

He was really going to miss him, if this worked.

"He's alright," Hermione said, interrupting Remus' thoughts. "I think... I think he's nervous."

"It's alright," Remus told her. "I am, too."

Hermione bit her lower lip again. "Professor, will you... will you be alright? When this is all over?"

Remus didn't answer her at first. He didn't know how to. It hurt too much to think about what he would do if all of this actually worked, never mind if it didn't. If it worked, there was no way of knowing what would happen to all of them; if he would even still exist at all. The thought made him feel so horribly untethered.  

It was even harder to think about all the rest of the implications. It was still so hard to think about how much it might change things for all of them, knowing that, if everything worked, some other, past version of him would be the one to welcome Sirius home; that he might be on a timeline where, if they were successful, he might never see him again.

"Professor?" Hermione's voice broke into his thoughts again.

Remus sighed. "I don't know, Hermione. I really don't know. I don't know what will happen to any of us. All I know is that we've come this far, and we've got to try. We've got to at least try to get him home."

They really had to, as much as it hurt him to know that. He had to at least try to get Sirius back where he belonged.

"Alright," Hermione said, taking a deep breath, "see you tonight, then?"

"Yes," Remus said, swallowing the lump in his throat. “I'll see you tonight."

Sirius wasn't in the Room of Requirement, or Gryffindor Tower.  He wasn't bloody anywhere, as far as Remus could tell, and he was starting to worry.

He left the castle, wandering for a bit toward Hogsmeade, trying to clear his head, not too sure where he was headed. He stayed on the main road, meandering around for a while longer, poking his head in the Three Broomsticks and some of the shops, but he wasn't picking up Sirius' scent anywhere. Still feeling a bit tired from the late night, Remus headed back to the main road.

It was then he saw a brief flicker of movement off to his left, just above the low stone wall in front of the Shrieking Shack.

Remus sighed. Of course. He should have known to look there.

He walked toward the wall slowly, heading for the general area where he had seen movement.

"You know," he said, as he got closer, "I don't come out here much anymore, not since you disappeared anyway, not since I got the Wolfsbane potion."

There was a sudden sound from the wall then, and the appearance of a disembodied head, as Sirius turned, peeking out from under Harry's Invisibility Cloak. "Imagine the Wolfsbane was a godsend."

"It was, yes. As it turns out, there are some things old Snivellus is good for," Remus said, eyeing the cloak again. "Did you get permission to borrow that?

Sirius shrugged.  "Don't imagine Harry will miss it right now. He's with Lily again, pleased as punch. Never seen someone so happy to be with their mum."

"Admittedly," Remus said, sitting down next to him, "you didn't have the best example of one."

Sirius sighed, pulling off the invisibility cloak fully now, letting it fall in his lap. His gaze went back to the Shrieking Shack. "It’s boarded up now.  When the hell did they go and board it up?"

Remus shrugged. "I imagine sometime after I left, seeing as they didn't need it anymore.  They probably didn't want any curious students falling through the floorboards."

Sirius grinned. "Shitty old floorboards and boarded up windows wouldn't have stopped us."

"No," Remus said, "I suppose they wouldn't have."

Sirius was quiet for a moment before he asked, "Have you seen the comet yet?"

"No. Afraid I missed it."

"Bet you did," Sirius said, elbowing him. "Bet you saw something else last night, though."

Remus shook his head. "You are so immature, you know that?"

"And you're old as balls."

Sirius laughed as Remus elbowed him. 

"Hey! You know what, good for you, getting some good, steady action! At least, I assume it's good?"

"I am not justifying that question with a response."

Sirius laughed again. "I still can't believe you picked Snivellus, but still, good on you. You seem to... I don't know. You almost seem to work together. Only almost, though."

"Jealous?"

"Obviously."

"I didn't pick Severus, by the way, it just sort of happened."

"Right, right. You tripped, he fell-"

"And we shagged, yeah, you happy?"

"Just jealous, remember?" Sirius said. "Bet old Snivellus is just great in the sack. Does he glare at you? Make condescending remarks while you two are in the throes of-"

Remus elbowed him again.

They were quiet for a moment, sitting there together. Sirius' gaze had gone back to the Shrieking Shack.

"I'll miss this, you know," he said, after a bit. "If this works, I'll really miss you."

"You'll still have me, if this all works out," Remus said. "A much younger version of me, who can actually keep up with all of your antics."

"Yeah, but... It won't... I don't know. It won't be you. What's even going to happen to you? Are you just going to keep living in this absolutely fucked version of the future where I'm gone and Lily was a criminal and James is dead?"

Remus shrugged. "Don't suppose I'll have much of a choice."

"I hate that," Sirius said. "It's not fair."

"Oh, I don't know," Remus said, forcing a smile. "I've made it this far."

Sirius was quiet again, fingering the hem of the Invisibility Cloak.  Parts of his legs disappeared and reappeared as he moved it around.

"I'll be alright," Remus told him, throwing an arm around his shoulder. "Whatever happens, whether I'm stuck here in what is apparently a very odd future, or I disappear and vanish into the depths of a world that was only real for a moment, I'll be alright. Want to know why? Because I had this. For a little while, I had you again, and you were safe, and you were here, and I finally knew what the fuck had happened to you. After all the years I spent wondering, that's something. It's a lot, actually.  You disappeared while you were trying to help me. That's... that's something that's weighed on me so heavily for a long time. I felt so guilty for so long because of that. I think I still do. I felt like you disappearing - like you being trapped here - was all my fault."

"Oh, Moony, no! What happened to me wasn't your fault. Not at all! It was my decision to try to go and do something so bloody stupid. It was all of our decisions, really. We were being absolute fuckheads, running off in the middle of a goddamn lightning storm."

"Because of me."

Sirius rolled his eyes. "Yes, well, maybe, but also because we really, really wanted to see if we could manage to become Animagi. Honest to god, we might have all tried to do it anyway one day, whether you were a werewolf or not. Think of yourself more as... oh, I don't know... a really good excuse for us to try and go do something absolutely mental."

Remus just sat there, shaking his head. "No, Sirius. It really was my fault."

Sirius let go of the cloak and threw his arms around him. "It was never your fault, Moony. Don't go taking all the credit for something stupid the rest of us did. You never were very good at it."

Remus managed a smile at that. "Guess some things never change."

"Oh, I don't know," Sirius said, grinning back at him. "I'll see what I can do."

"I'm going to miss you, too, you know," Remus told him. "As much of a handful as you've been, I'm really going to miss you."

He took a deep breath, reaching for Sirius' hand and holding it tight. “It was always you, you know? Back then, when we were younger, before all of this... before I got so fucking old and lost in this weird future, it was always you. You were my best friend, and I... I loved you. When you go back-"

“...If I make it, you mean..."

"You will. This is going to work. So, when you go back, if you... if you can maybe tell younger me not to be so hard on himself, if you can get him to listen. Maybe, between the two of you, between the two of us, we can fix things, and never have to live in a world where so much shit went wrong."

Remus jumped a bit then, as Sirius wrapped his arms around him again, and held him close. "Like I said, I'll see what I can do. I love you too, dickhead; I always will. Thanks. Thanks for everything. Thanks so much for still being you."

Remus reached down and held Sirius close, trying to remember how it felt to be young again, sitting on that same wall so long ago. Whatever happened next, he knew then that he was going to be alright.

"I'm still scared, you know," Sirius said, still holding onto him.

"I know," Remus told him. "So am I. It's alright. I'll be right there with you, right up until the end. I'll be right there to say goodbye."

Lily stood at the edge of the tree line and stared at the comet. It was redder than she’d thought it would be. Like a droplet of blood in water with a trail that faded out behind it.

Sssebastian hissed comfortingly at her from around her neck. She stroked the top of his head in response.

From her experience with Dementors and psychopomps, having your soul ripped apart really fucking hurt. Perhaps it would hurt less if it happened more like an instantaneous explosion? Ideally, it would be over quickly, and alternate her would never remember it.

“What do you reckon happens if you snort time travelling sand?” Sirius asked, bumping elbows with her affectionately.

She turned and stared at him for a second, before doubling over. If he noticed the hysterical edge to her laughter, he was polite enough not to mention it.

“I think you probably go back five seconds and wonder why your nose is burning,” she said finally.

“Huh,” he said. “I might give it a go.”

“I wouldn’t,” she said. “You might go back to your time a few days late if there isn’t enough sand, and then there would be some explaining to do.”

“Fine,” he sighed.

“How are you going to deal with Peter when you get back?” she asked.

Sirius twisted his mouth, staring at the grass. “Assuming I even remember any of this? I suppose it’s a toss-up between killing him on sight, or being so much nicer to him that he never decides to betray us.”

She poked him in the ribs. “Don’t be a dick. You have to give him a chance to do better. Get him to understand what happened.”

“You’re asking me to remember an awful lot at a moment of great stress,” Sirius grumbled.

“We’ll just write it on the back of your hand then,” she said. “Oh. I don’t have a quill on me.”

Hermione materialised between them.

“Actually, there’s a spell for that,” she said, as they both jumped. “It lets you use your finger as a quill for emergency note taking. Would you like me to cast it on you?”

Lily laughed. “Sirius has never bothered to take proper notes in his life. Cast it on yourself and me, and we’ll make sure it’s all written down on his arm.”

“Right, hang on-”

“We’ll move on to his back or chest if we run out of room,” she added, grinning.

Hermione brandished her wand. “Scribblifors digitus," she said.

Lily examined her right index finger. “It doesn’t look any different,” she said.

Hermione cast it on her own finger, pushed up Sirius’ sleeve and wrote DON’T KILL PETER in neat letters on his forearm.

Lily frowned in thought, before adding MAKE SURE YOU EXPLAIN EVERYTHING, AND WHY IT CAN’T HAPPEN AGAIN, then STOP BEING A DICK TO SEVERUS, AND MAKE JAMES STOP HARASSING HIM TOO IF HE EVER WANTS TO HAVE A BABY WITH ME IN THIS UNIVERSE.

“I can’t believe you just inked that into my arm!” Sirius wailed.

“Oh, stop fussing,” she said. “It’s not a permanent tattoo... Or is it?”

Hermione smiled, holding it for just a moment too long. “Of course not,” she said.

Sirius was about to throw a little tantrum when Harry and Ron arrived in the clearing, followed by Sev and Remus. Harry immediately barreled over to Lily, and Sirius stepped aside.

“Mum, I’m-”

She hugged him as he broke off. He felt as tense as her.

“Me, too,” she whispered. “But when this is all over, things will be different. I’ll have always been there, and I won’t be so broken.”

He nodded against her shoulder.

“What are you going to do with Sssebastian?” Ron asked from a tactical distance away. “I don’t like the idea of him just being abandoned.”

Lily looked at him for a moment. “You seem quite good with animals,” she said. “Why don’t you take him?”

Ron blushed. “Oh, I dunno... What if he doesn’t like me?”

With a little pang under her ribs, she wanted to hug some confidence into him, but settled instead for passing Sssebastian over and settling him on Ron’s shoulders like a scarf.

“Be nice to him, even if you can’t communicate with each other,” she hissed.

“Fine,” Sssebastian grumbled.

Once he stopped moving, Ron relaxed and gave his head some tentative strokes.

“This one will do, I suppose,” Sssebastian said, before relaxing bonelessly and appearing to go to sleep.

“He likes you,” Lily said. “He says you’re a natural.”

Ron smiled shyly.

“We should begin,” Sev said harshly, cutting through the moment. “There’s no sense in dragging this out.”

Lily let out a long breath.

“Okay,” she said. “What do I do?”

“We’ll stand in the centre of the clearing,” he said. “I’ve looked up an incantation to harness the comet’s power. Then we’ll put the sand into you, loop the chain the Unspeakables gave us around you both, and that should do it. We will all wake up in a different universe.”

Now that it was actually happening, she felt a lot less confident about using her soul to power a time battery, raggedy though it might be. What if they’d got everything wrong? Well, it was too late now.

Harry gave her hand one last squeeze and she walked jerkily across the grass.

“Come on, Sirius,” she said, pushing down the quaver in her voice. “Let’s get you home.”

He nodded tightly, his face tinged slightly green.

“The rest of you, stand at the tree line,” Remus said. “I don’t know exactly what will happen, but I’d prefer you not to get incinerated if this all goes wrong.”

“That was not encouraging,” Harry muttered.

Remus began arranging them like mannequins, so that everyone was within arm’s reach of each other and Sirius was holding the chain loosely at his side. Sev dumped a bulging sack of sand filled vials at his feet.

He exchanged a look with Remus, then nodded at Lily, and raised his wand to the sky.

Lily wasn’t familiar with the incantation he recited, but it was much longer than a spell. He delivered it in a ringing, authoritative voice.

Then there was silence. She wasn’t sure if the comet was supposed to do something visible, but Sev didn’t look like a man who’d made a mistake.

“Professor Snape!” Hermione exclaimed with a look of horror, covering her mouth. “Did you really just yell at the comet to get its fiery... bottom down here and fix what it messed up, but in Latin?”

Sev smiled thinly and did not reply.

“Don’t tell anyone, but this version of Snivellus is growing on me a bit,” Sirius whispered.

“I am thrilled beyond measure to have finally gained your approval, Black,” Sev drawled, turning around. “Lily, it’s time to start taking in the sand.”

The Unspeakables had made their best guess and told her to just press the sand into her skin.

Sev took a vial out of the bag and emptied the contents into her open hands. She pushed it against her sternum, slightly amazed that it absorbed through her robes and into her flesh and bones without trickling away.

It tingled; not outright painful, but not far off.

She did it again.

And again.

And again.

With each dose, she felt her entire being vibrate a little more intensely. Still, she kept on absorbing more, and her mind and body kept on juddering slightly further and further apart.

“Sev,” she said faintly, barely able to hear herself over the growing hum of energy, “Am I glowing? I feel weird...”

“I know,” he said, his face twisting into all sorts of expressions that she processed after a sort of lag. “Just... keep on doing it.”

Obediently, she shoved handful after handful into herself, until she couldn’t feel her hands anymore.

“Last one,” he said finally.

Lily was virtually reduced to lip-reading over the ringing in her ears.

As she held her hands out, struggling to cup them together when they were vibrating so violently, someone yelled in panic.

Black, billowing shapes were floating towards them over the treetops.

One suddenly divebombed them from behind a tree trunk, and Remus dispersed it with a quick burst of blue.

It pinwheeled away, like a tyre popping off a crashed car, but the rest were closing in on them fast.

“For fuck’s sake!” Lily screamed. “Why won’t those bastards just leave me alone?”

Sev dropped the vial at her feet, turned, and cast a Patronus of his own.

It looked like every Dementor from Azkaban was converging on them. Was her soul sending out some sort of ‘come snack on me; I’m unravelling’ sort of signal?

Remus shepherded the children farther into the clearing until they were all huddled close.

“Everyone, think your fiercest, happiest thoughts!” he ordered. “Say the words! Don’t worry about the wand movement!”

“I can’t...” she mumbled.

“Not you, Lily,” he said, running back toward her and placing a comforting hand on her shoulder, then jerking away as though she’d electrocuted him. “Ouch! And not you either, Sirius! Where’s that last vial?”

Awkwardly, between repeats of the Patronus incantation, Sev nudged it closer with his toe. The others began a chorus of charms around them.

Between them, they were surrounded by a hazy blue barrier that slowed the Dementors down. She couldn’t make out Ron or Hermione’s forms, but Remus’ wolf and Sev’s deer orbited them like a carousel.

Sirius scrabbled for the last vial, the chain all tangled around his arms. He uncorked it and tipped the sand into her hands. He had to help her press it into her chest.

“It’s time!” he yelled, shaking the chain out.

Harry turned and looked at her. His smile was like the sunrise.

“Expecto Patronum,” he said calmly, and she tore her gaze away from his eyes as an enormous, spectral stag erupted from his wand.

It charged into the swarm of Dementors, galloping around the circle and flinging them all back to the tree line.

Sirius flicked the chain over their heads and hugged her for good measure.

The air was starting to glow red- no, she realised, she was starting to glow red. The same red as the comet; the colour of life and blood and phoenixes.

The ringing in her ears reached a high, clear note, drowning out all other sound.

Lily gasped as her and Sirius vibrated clear off the ground.

Her vision was fracturing. She could feel herself scattering.

Then everything flew apart.

Red turned to black.

Then there was nothing. There was nothing at all.

Sirius woke up lying on his back in a puddle of mud. The rain that had been pounding down when he’d first stepped into the clearing all those days ago had eased off to a gentle drizzle. 

Shit, no, it was last night, if this worked. Fucking hell. I’m never time travelling again; it’s way too bloody complicated. 

Sirius groaned. His skin fizzed, and, if he closed his eyes, he could still see flashes of red and gold as the sand tore Lily apart into nothing more than star dust. 

Lily.

Oh God, Lily.

He would never forget that final fierce look of determination.  He would never forget what she had done, or how she had saved him.

Even if he would spend the rest of his life wondering what had happened to her, at least something had worked. Now, he just had to actually move his body so he could work out what. He groaned again. 

“Shit! Sirius! You’re okay!” Peter, round faced and boyish and still very much alive, appeared just above him. He looked scared shitless. 

“SIRIUS!” James half picked Sirius up off the ground as he wrapped him in a full body hug. “Bloody hell! We thought you’d died! We found you here after we transformed back. What the hell happened? Did you transform as well? Where the hell were you?” 

James pulled back as Sirius cautiously balanced himself in an upright position, both hands still firmly on the ground to support him. James had leaves and twigs tangled in his hair, so did Peter. 

“I, err… What year is it?” Sirius asked them, brushing some remnants of sand off his clothes. James and Peter’s reactions told him he’d come back to the right time, but he had to be sure.

“What?” 

"What year is it?"

“It’s 1976, mate, same as yesterday. Are you okay? I think you might have been hit by lightning. We should get you to see Madam Pomfrey.” 

“No! No, I’m fine, honest! Oh, bloody fuck! It worked!” 

James had leaned in to take a closer look at Sirius, who pushed him away gently. Feeling a bit more steady, his hand went shakily to his ear, almost too scared to find out if he’d managed to get his old body back as well as his time. He almost screamed when his fingers snagged on a small gold hoop. 

It worked! It all fucking worked! Thanks to an overachieving fourteen year old, Lily, and fucking Snivellus Snape, it all fucking worked!

Sirius' heart sank then as he realised that meant he was going to probably have to be nicer to the greasy old bastard now, but only for a fleeting moment. His friends might be looking at him like he was a few knuts short of a sickle, but they were here and they were alive, and he had never been so grateful to see their ugly mugs. 

He jumped up, almost toppling over James and Peter, and wrapped his arms around both of them at once, not quite managing to lift them off the ground. 

“It worked!” he shouted again. "It fucking worked!" 

“It did, yeah,” Peter squeaked excitedly. “I’m a rat, and James is a stag, which is so cool! What are you? Do you know? Could you tell?”

“Oh, err, no. I couldn’t see myself. But I’ll work it out later! We need to go find Remus!” 

And, without another word, Sirius kissed them both full on their mouths and bolted out of the clearing, almost falling on his arse as he slipped in the mud. 

He could hear James calling after him to wait, but he didn’t stop. Another moment later and a stag appeared to his left, crashing through the undergrowth with a rat sat between its ears. 

Bloody show offs. 

He really hoped the Animagus thing had worked as well as the time travel so he could show off too at some point.

James and Peter changed back when they reached the edge of the forest, but Sirius still didn’t stop. He didn’t slow down until, heart pounding in his chest, his feet hit the top step of the stairs to their dormitory. 

Remus was still asleep as Sirius pulled the duvet back to climb into bed with him. He groaned as Sirius started to jostle him.

“Ugghhh . . . What the fuck Sirius! You’re wet and gross! Why are you muddy? What are you doing?” Remus tried to push Sirius back out of bed, but he was too slow, and Sirius already had him in a death grip hug and had no intention of letting go for the foreseeable future. 

“Can you at least change out of your muddy clothes? It’s six in the morning for fuck's sake! What the fuck have you been doing?”

Sirius didn’t answer the questions, but he did point his wand at himself and vanish his sodden t-shirt and trousers, and cast a cleaning spell on the bedsheets. 

“Sirius! That’s not  - Oh, Jesus Christ, what’s got into you?”

The indignation in Remus’ voice sort of reminded Sirius of the older Remus he had just left behind, and Sirius smiled into his chest as he somehow pulled him into an even tighter hug. It was good to know the old Remus would never be gone completely.

"Sirius, I'm serious, goddamn it, you're freaking me out! What is this about?"

"Everything, Moony," Sirius managed, keeping his face buried against Remus' chest.  "It's about everything."

Remus was quiet then, for what felt like a long time, lying there with him while Sirius held him.

Sirius was still holding him when Remus rolled over, reaching for him and sliding closer to him, looking him right in the eyes. Sirius almost gasped; just to see his face again, his young, bright, absolutely fucking gorgeous concerned face - to know that it had worked, that everything had worked, that maybe now things would be alright, that maybe, at least now, they wouldn't be so bad.

They couldn't be. Not anymore. He was going to fix it all.

Sirius smiled, trying to hold back the tears that were threatening to come as he kept his arms wrapped around Remus, trying to hide all the writing on his skin. He'd tell him everything one day, or maybe he wouldn't. Right now, he had much more important things to focus on.

"Sirius? What is it? What's happened to you?"

"Oh, Moony, you big, beautiful bastard, don't you get it? This... " he said, kissing Remus full on the mouth, "this, right here, is everything, and I'm never fucking leaving you again."

Chapter Text

It was March again, and the sun was high in the sky when Sirius realized he was late.

He swore as he fumbled his way through the piles of clothes he had left on the floor, looking for a clean shirt, realizing he wouldn't have any time to shave. That would just have to be alright; at least the gift he had bought was all ready and wrapped - not well wrapped, mind you, but wrapped all the same - and waiting on the table in the kitchen, complete with a ribbon he had fashioned, somewhat, into the shape of a bow.

Did three year olds like bows? He didn't know. He was hoping the gift inside would be the more memorable part. Hopefully it would be better than whatever Peter was bringing, at least.

Sirius buttoned up the shirt he had decided smelled clean enough to wear, slid on his shoes, hurried down the stairs and grabbed the gift, checking his appearance in the hall mirror on his way to the front door, leaning in closer for a second to fix his hair.

"Is Master going out?"

"Yes, Kreacher," Sirius said, not even bothering to turn around. "Master is going out. Do be a dear and clean up my bedroom, won't you? Someone's left it in a terrible state."

Kreacher groaned. Sirius ignored him, finally turning around to face him.

"Right, how do I look?"

"Master could use a haircut, and maybe some better-"

"Maybe some better help around here, yes, I agree. You just go clean up that mess upstairs before I get back."

Kreacher groaned again. "Will Master Remus be back later as well?"

Sirius smiled. "Oh, I think we can both count on that."

With that, Sirius turned around and Apparated, appearing a moment later in front of a familiar house at the edge of a meadow. He could already hear the sounds of voices and singing coming from inside, and he definitely recognized the tune.

Sirius hurried through the front door, almost slamming into Severus, who glared at him, the last verse of Happy Birthday on the edge of his lips. 

Sirius ignored him and started singing. Maybe no one else would notice how late he was if he sang loud enough.

"...Happy Birthday to Ron, happy birthday to you!"

Unfortunately, Lily was already shaking her head at him from where she stood across the room with James, holding Harry by the hand, whose eyes were firmly fixed on the cake Molly Weasley was now lowering in front of her youngest son.

"Make a wish, Ron!"

"Yeah, Ron; wish for anything you want!"

"Wish for a dragon!" 

"Wish for more cake!"

Sirius smiled, clapping now with the others as Ron blew out his candles. It had been a long time since he had wished for anything. It had been a long time since he had needed to.

Sirius stayed by the door, at the edge of the living room and the crowd, as Arthur leaned down and started cutting the cake, taking away parts Ron and his pudgy three year old hands hadn't already grabbed for. Harry beamed as Arthur handed him a piece - as Lily leaned down and told him to hold the plate carefully, so as not to make a mess.

"I see you at least remembered to bring something," Severus said, eyeing Sirius again. "Even if it wasn't manners."

"Oh, come off it, Snivellus," Sirius said, elbowing Snape a bit. "You can't tell me you didn't just walk in the door, too."

"He didn't, no; I saw him," Peter said, walking up to them both, already shoveling a few bites of cake into his mouth. Sirius honestly couldn't blame him. It looked delicious. "He got here before I did, even."

"But not before me."

Sirius turned around. Remus' voice had come from the kitchen doorway. Somehow, he already had a piece of cake, too.

"Where the hell were you?" Remus asked, taking a bite. "Don't tell me you fell back asleep after I... I mean... after..."

Severus shot them both a look.

"After, yes," Sirius said, grinning wildly. "As it happens, yes. Yes, I did."

He snatched Remus' fork right out of his hand and leaned closer to him, sticking it right in his piece of cake, taking a big bite, and licking at the frosting that stuck to his upper lip.

"Sirius!" 

Lily's voice had come from behind him. Sirius turned around slowly.

"Where the hell have you been? I thought you were going to help me and Molly with decorations!"

"I, err, well, I was, but then... well..."

Lily rolled her eyes as James walked over.

"Where do I put this?" Sirius asked, still holding the gift he had brought.

"I'll take it!" One of the Weasley twins - he wasn't sure which twin - said, snatching it from him and running off.

"Hey! That's mine!" Ron said, shoving himself away from what was left of his cake and getting up to chase after his brother. Harry, Sirius noticed, set his plate back down carefully before running off to help.

Sirius laughed as Molly yelled after them. He couldn't help it. They reminded him too much of him and James, of how they had all been not so long ago.

The chase led the boys out into the garden and peace settled in the living room. It lasted for a whole half an hour before the excited shouts made their way back through the kitchen door. 

“Mum! Dad!” Ron, both twins, and Harry all shouted at the same time so that Molly, Lily, Arthur, and James all looked around at once.

“Look what Ron found!” 

Molly tried to cover the slight shriek that escaped her as Ron proudly held up a black, two foot long snake. It lay completely docile in Ron’s hands, apparently unphased by being manhandled by a small child. 

“Ron, love, that’s a snake! You shouldn’t have picked it up; it won’t like it,” Arthur said, approaching his son slowly, clearly not wanting to startle the creature. 

“But it came to me!” Ron protested. “It wanted to be picked up!” 

The snake hissed at Arthur, then slid off Ron’s arms, which were starting to drop from the weight, and slid purposefully towards Lily. 

It was then Sirius realised he had seen the snake before. 

“Sssebastian?” he said out loud. 

The snake looked at Sirius, inclined its head a fraction, then continued over to Lily, who was sat cross legged on the floor, since all the chairs in the small living room were taken. Sirius watched as the snake curled up in her lap. Lily looked startled, but lowered a tentative hand to pet it.

“It is you!” Sirius said.

The snake glanced at him again, then closed its eyes. 

“Sirius?” Remus started slowly. “Do you, er, do you know this snake somehow?”

“I do yeah… I…” 

Sirius fell quiet. He’d resisted saying anything in the eight years since his adventure. He’d been too scared that he would jinx it, or that the timelines would get fucked up somehow if the others knew that the bleak alternative future he had seen had ever existed at all. He looked around the living room, at the boys looking in awe at the snake that had settled in Lily’s lap, at James, Remus, and Peter looking suspiciously at him. Even Snivellus was there. They were all there, they were all happy, and they were all safe. 

Sirius looked back at Remus. “Actually, err… About the snake... It’s a bit of a long story.”

“Granger, do you have a moment before we head off to The Bouncing Boggart?”

Hermione looked up from putting away her research. Head Unspeakable Hu stood in the doorway of her office, and she could just about make out Filby and Wells popping up and down excitedly behind his shoulders like a pair of bouncy balls with faces.

They were supposed to be leaving soon for drinks to celebrate the end of her three month probationary period. Harry, Ron, and Ginny were coming, plus Arsenyeva, Cho (who had been an Unspeakable for a year longer than Hermione), and the lunatics from the Department of Experimental Charms. Maybe even all their parents, plus Sirius, Remus, Peter, and Severus, who liked to refer to themselves as The Godfathers.

“It doesn’t happen very often,” Hu said, “but sometimes there’s another little ceremony an Unspeakable undergoes when they become a full member of the department.”

“Er, okay,” she said uncertainly. Cho had never mentioned anything like that, and they were quite good friends these days.

“Don’t worry,” Filby put in. “It’s not what you think. No one’s going to make you drink brain tank juice or anything.”

“I assure you; you’ll be very glad you experienced it,” Wells said. His huge, bushy white eyebrows were practically dancing.

Hu was smiling too, so she decided to take their word for it.

She stood and followed them to the other end of the room, where they paused outside the door to the built-in cupboard where they kept Time Turner components.

Wells and Filby (who was doing actual jazz hands in a deep diagonal lunge) gestured dramatically towards it.

“Really?” she asked, starting to worry they were playing some sort of prank on her.

Hu smiled gently. “I promise you, no one’s pulling your leg. Wells and Filby are just very excited because this doesn’t happen very often. Open the door and you’ll see.”

Hermione shrugged and turned the handle.

The shelves, with their boxes of miscellaneous cogs and components, were nowhere to be seen. Instead, there was a small, circular room lined with bookshelves that shouldn’t have been physically possible because she knew there was a corridor on the other side of the wall.

Nearly ten years on, magic never ceased to amaze her.

Hermione walked forward. There was a small desk in the center of the room, which was precisely the right size for one book and one book only.

As she walked closer to it, soft yellow lights flared to life around the edges of the ceiling.

Wells, Filby and Hu squeezed in behind her.

“May I?” Wells said, fluttering his fingers over the book spines directly in front of her.

She nodded, baffled.

He pulled out a tome that looked identical to all the others, bound in brown leather and embossed with gold. Roman numerals marked the spine with an eighteen.

He placed it reverentially on the desk.

“This,” he said grandly, “is The Big Book of Time Travel Fuckery, Volume Eighteen.”

Hermione snorted. “Is it really called that?”

“Oh, yes,” he said. “There’s an entry here you are now cleared to see. Just touch your wand to it; there’s no particular incantation.”

Her heart rate sped up, but pleasantly. While it was perfectly possible to injure yourself with certain magical books, she generally felt much safer when they were involved.

She gave her wand a little flourish, since Wells and Filby were making such an effort, and landed the tip on the cover.

The book opened, but then it just... kept on opening. Pages unfolded from other pages at right angles, branching out like a whirlwind of impossible origami. There was a fluttering that seemed to fill the room, like being inside a cloud of giant, whispering moths. Runes and cursive danced and glowed on the pages, everything moving too fast to read.

Hermione stepped back to give it space as the book multiplied exponentially in all directions.

“Wow,” she whispered.

“Yeah, it’s fucking cool, isn’t it?” Filby giggled. “A proper welcome to the Time Room.”

Finally, a blur of moving paper came to a halt in front of her, displaying a single page on eye level.

“Have a read,” Hu told her.

The glow on the words faded until it looked like normal ink again. It certainly made the text a lot more legible.

March 1994 -  Future Unspeakable Hermione Granger (age thirteen) orchestrated a major shift in the fabric of reality. Reinsertion of Sirius Black (age sixteen) to his original timeline departure of 1976, due to cometary thaumaturgical interference. As a result, the following events were undone:

- Peter Pettigrew's recruitment by rising power Lord Voldemort, who subsequently killed James Potter.

- Pettigrew's framing of Lily Potter for the mass murder of muggles, who was then sent to Azkaban, only to escape in March 1994 with the aid of Severus Snape.

Comparative outcomes of this reality:

- James and Lily Potter left alive and well.

- Peter Pettigrew volunteers to spring a trap for Voldemort as he comes to recruit him, resulting in Voldemort's defeat by The Order of the Phoenix, and the total disbandment and defeat of his followers.

- Severus Snape’s contributions to the Wolfsbane Potion, coupled with the Potters’ political sway, causes a new law to be passed forcing the Ministry to provide free doses to all werewolves who request it in perpetuity.

- Future Unspeakable Hermione Granger successfully deduced that only a living human soul may power a time jump of a great magnitude, and be sacrificed in the process. Subsequently designated Level 5 Classification eight years before applying to the Department of Mysteries, and her acceptance in 2001 is assured.

“Wait, my application to the Department was accepted in 1994?” she squeaked. “And I thought I just did really well on my NEWTs!”

“Not in this timeline,” Wells said. “But we do consult the books regularly to make sure everything’s ticking along as it should.”

“You did do well on your NEWTs,” Hu told her gently. “But you also furthered the theory of time travel at age thirteen more or less unaided-”

“Alternate me, Wells and Hu helped a bit,” Filby put in with a grin. “Ooh, can we change the name of it now?”

Hermione just looked from colleague to colleague, slightly dazed.

“The name of...”

“You know, the Principle of Spirit Quid Pro Quo for Plus-Quinquoral Conveyance,” Filby rattled off.

And she did it with perfect enunciation; Hermione still couldn’t say it without mashing up all the syllables.

“Wait. That was me?”

“It was, in another life,” Wells told her. “But we couldn’t call it after you without messing up the timeline. I think Former Head Unspeakable Croaker really outdid himself with that one. I vote we rename it The Granger Principle. Much more pithy and easier to pronounce.”

“Agreed,” Hu and Filby said together.

Hermione tried not to gape at them.

“I... Wait... Did I really stop Harry’s dad getting murdered and his mum going to Azkaban?” she asked, glancing back at the book again.

“Not to mention preventing the rise of a dangerous dark wizard who features very prominently in alternate timelines, let me tell you,” Hu said.

"I... I don't know what to say."

They all grinned at her.

“Well,” Filby said, rubbing her hands together, “Turns out you’ve been the star of this department for longer than you’ve actually worked here. I think this merits celebration. Everyone agree?”

"Here, here!"

"Hermione?" Filby asked, looking back at her.

“Yes,” Hermione said weakly. “I... I think I will take a drink.”