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So.
John Blox, right? From the first story (soon to be adapted into a major motion picture).
Yeah, that one, where my Nintendo Mii character had to roblox all by herself. He really wasn't much of a help, because his arms were tired.
There. Now you're all caught up on the story.
Where does the sequel begin, you ask?
Thirteen years later.
Stardate 1976.
Planet Mars.
Planet Mars is a lifeless and barren land, devoid of themeparks, Chipotle and Disney+.
Underneath the sweltering blue sun of the Red Planet stood John Blox, valiantly displaying the flag of Nintendo's mascot character, Waluigi. Unflinching, unbroken and undefeatable, he alone stood to stem the tide of Wario clones. Mars rightfully belonged to His Purpleiness, and though he was only a lowly infantryman, John never faltered in his defiance.
Mars may not have naturally occurring water, but right now, its surface was buried beneath a sea of yellow. A rapidly approaching yellow, John noted, raising his sword high above his head.
"Wario Time" John's encroaching doom chanted in unison, clearly unafraid of the lone purpalier.
This, however, only gave strength to John, his resolve greatened by the singular task at hand.
Win.
The Warios marched ever closer. One unified step after another.
John's sword hand tightened its grip.
This was it. This was what his life had led to, the culmination of every journey John Blox had embarked upon.
He steeled his mind. This was no time for reminiscing on the past, not when his very future was in question. And as John gazed upon the weapon of his enemy, he began to realise just how much the prospect of a future life for him was in doubt.
Every Wario clone was equipped with a Charleville musket and outfitted with the primal desire to kill.
No matter.
John considered his options.
I will fight like I always intended. To the end.
John took a breath, and for a brief moment, time stood still. The air was empty, the roar of silence rang in his ears, and in that split second, he made his decision.
John Blox rushed towards the enemy, sword held in front of him. He had no delusions that he would deflect every shot his enemy fired upon him, he only needed to block enough to kill at least one Wario. Then his sacrifice - no, his entire life - would be worth it.
Bullets flew past him, narrow misses striking the sand and stone, while direct hits blew out his legs. A minor loss. He doesn't need legs, so long as he has the strength of will and determination to carry on.
Crawling across the sand, John's vision began to blur. Whether that was from the blood loss or blood lust, he didn't care to figure out. He just kept crawling towards the marching army.
Then, disaster.
A stray bullet slammed into his sword, flinging it far out of his grasp. Defiance turned to desperation, determination to despair.
He couldn't think straight. Death was barging its way through John's door and it took all he could to prevent his life from appearing before him.
Must... Focus.
Yet despite all of his efforts, one memory broke through.
A memory of thirteen years ago.
A memory of planet Earth.
A memory of the Wii Sports island.
A memory... of her.
The Nintendo Mii who had once rowed Blox... and sailed into his heart.
How could he have been so foolish then? His heart ached at the memory, he yearned to be back there rowing with her. Though his arms were tired that day, she had rowed him alone... Because she loved him.
He sank further into the red sand.
She loved him. And he had thrown it all away to join the growing warluigimachine. For what? Loyalty to a purple W?
No Emperor of Mars was worth such a price. John only wished that it had not taken so long to realise.
For in his heart, he loved her too.
He loved her more than Waluigi ever deserved. His Purpleiness, John thought with such disdain attached to the words, did not deserve any of this. The blood shed in his name, the lives taken - his life taken.
It all means nothing now. He didn't care if Waluigi survived the onslaught of Warios, his dying thoughts were of her and their time spent together.
John fumbled through his purpalier uniform's deep pockets. Where was it?
Blood pooled from the gaping holes that littered his body, but he wasn't dead. Not yet.
Not... Yet.
There!
***
The resounding thuds of the last of the Warios faded into the horizon, and the winds had swiftly covered any sign of their march.
Were it not for the torn banner of His Purpleiness, the Wahmonger Waluigi, one would consider this land barren once again.
Were it not for the banner, yes, and were it not for the body. Still. A lifeless body frozen in place in the middle of nowhere, and a mind frozen in a better time.
The wind kicked up. Sands shifted once again.
Cradled in John Blox's arms were two wooden oars. A reminder of times long gone, and a reminder of a life John left behind.
A life he would never be able to reclaim, the spark of love in his eyes never again able to ignite a fire in his heart.
Despite leaving it all behind to pursue his foolish notion of loyalty and righteousness, he had never forgotten the time they had rowed together. He had never forgotten her.
***
The Nintendo Mii would always remember the love she felt for John Blox. His fate unknown, his body preserved and hidden beneath the sands of a distant world, he still lived on in her heart.
For when she closed her eyes, when she dreamed, she could once again row Blox.
And no force so trivial as death could take that away from them.
The End.