Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

No one remembers when or where they came from, the soul marks. Only that one day they were there and every one had one. Everyone had one person in this world that was perfectly made for them, regardless of what they would do, or who they would become. And through the soul marks, a small symbol that matched perfectly with one's soulmate, people would meet their match. The marks were always in the same place, right above everyone's heart. They were considered private information, not something readily shared unless you suspected that you had found your match.

Statistics say that only about 38% of people on the continent will find their soulmate, for the continent was large, and travel was difficult. If your soulmate did not live close to you, it was rare that you would ever meet them. Most soulmates found each other at Basgiath War College, the one place in Navarre where people from all provinces gathered.

The day Xaden Riorson is born his parents make an oath to each other and to their son that they would do everything in their power to help him find his soulmate. They weren’t soulmates, but that was okay for them. They had both been raised learning that nobility didn't get soulmates, they got arranged marriages, but they wanted better for their son. 

When Violet Sorrengail is born, her mother, worried for her health and what quality of life she would have, is immediately on alert. Her daughter was different from her other two children, smaller, quieter than a baby should be. She brushes the light wisps of hair on her daughter's head back as she places a kiss on her forehead. 

Would her soulmate understand? Would her soulmate push her too far? Her mother decides then and there that there are more important things for her daughter to do than find her soulmate.

Lilith just wanted to protect her child, and if keeping her away from her soulmate keeps her safe, then she will do whatever is needed of her.

Both sets of parents notice the symbol quickly following their respective child's birth. There it is, on their child's chest right above their heart, a lightning bolt surrounded by black inky swirls that look like shadows. 

The first time Xaden asks about the mark, he is five years old. His mother is putting him to bed at the time when he asks.

“What does the lightning bolt on my chest mean?” He asks, looking up at his mother with childhood curiosity coursing through his eyes. 

She's surprised for a moment, but recovers quickly. “It means someone loves you so much.” 

He looks confused, “Who?”

She smiles, pulling the blanket up to his chin, tucking him in. “Well we don’t know yet.” 

His eyes narrow on her suspiciously, “Then how do you know they love me?”

She lays down with him, brushing back his hair, as she regals him with stories of true love. She tells him all about the soulmarks, or as much as a five year old should know.

“Will I find mine?” he asks her.

She places a soft kiss to the top of his head, “Oh my sweet boy, if you don’t then I’ll have failed you as your mother.” She promises him right then and there that she will do anything she can to help him find them. She tells him every fable she knows about soulmates, no matter how outlandish they may seem. 

He finds comfort in knowing his soulmate is out there somewhere and in knowing that he will find them. 

When his mother leaves him at the age of 10, after a chance encounter with her own soulmate, he… gets it. Sort of. She has always told him how powerful the soulmate bond was and how nearly irresistible it was. He just kind’ve wished he had been enough for her to stay. 

The first time Violet asks, she is six. She had just read a book of fables, it had mentioned the soulmarks and their origins. The book claimed that the soulmarks were from the dragons as a way to ensure that the strongest bloodlines would be able to fight against the evil Venin and Wyvern. 

“Is that true?” She asks her father as she rushes into his office at the outpost where they are stationed with her mother.

“Is what true, Vi?” He looks up from the report he is working on. He loves his children, he really does, but he is a busy man. He always has time for Violet’s questions though. She was the most like him; inquisitive, smart, quick-witted. But she was also different, born too early due to a fever that wrecked her mother’s body. Her joints always loose, her bones on the verge of breaking, and in pain from some too sharp movement. 

“The soulmarks.” She huffs out, holding the book out for him to see what she had been reading. He startles and looks up at his daughter. “The book says everyone has a soulmate, is that true?”

He studies her carefully, well aware of his wife’s beliefs when it comes to their youngest, but he has never lied to his daughter, not when it comes to facts. “Yes. Everyone has one.” He says finally.

“Even me?” She’s excited at the idea of having a new best friend.

“Yes, love. Even you. But you shouldn't concern yourself with them.” He tells her.

“What? Why? Do you think they won’t want to climb trees with me?” If they don’t want to climb trees with her, they aren’t her perfect match anyways. 

He chuckles, and pulls his youngest daughter into a hug as he places her on his lap. She giggles from the affection received from her father. “No, I think they will, but I also think you shouldn’t be climbing trees, and that’s the problem.”

“Oh.” She says, her voice going quieter. Well if they couldn’t understand that she was a little different, she didn’t need them anyways. She doesn’t realize in the moment though, that she never says she won't bother with it.

And so, the two children grow up with very different opinions on the whole soulmate thing, one of them a little more excited than the other.

Chapter Text

The first time Violet and Xaden meet, Violet is 7 years old and Xaden is 10. Both of their families have been invited to Calldyr to celebrate the prince’s birthday. Violet’s due to her mother being one of the highest ranking Generals in the king’s army, Xaden’s due to his father being the Duke of Tyrrendor. They meet at the dessert table of all places.

Xaden, ever the ten year old, is standing and examining the table trying to decide if anyone would notice if he took the last two pieces of chocolate cake.

Screw it. He picks up both pieces. He’s the heir to the duchy in Tyrrendor, if he wants two pieces of cake, he will take two pieces of cake and there’s not a single thing the stupid prince can do about it. 

Also he hasn’t heard from his mother in two months and if he wants two pieces of cake, he thinks he deserves it.

“Are you taking both of those?” a voice says beside him. He freezes, feeling caught, and turns to look at the source of the voice. A small girl, with brown and silver hair, is staring at the cake in his hands, her hands on her hips and an annoyed look on her face. She’s short, shorter than the other girls her age, and is wearing a deep emerald green velvet dress that makes the silver of her hair look vibrant. 

“Yes.” He states. He was planning on taking, and eating, both of them himself. 

“What if someone else wanted that piece?” She argues. She'd finally been able to sneak away from her brother long enough to make her way over to the dessert table and she was not missing out on the cake because of this guy.

Xaden shrugs, “But I want them.”

“That's not fair.” She raises her chin in a defiant stubborn motion.

“Life isn’t fair.” 

She scoffs, rolling her eyes and turning her head away from him. “You should share. It’s a nice thing to do.”

He contemplates her words for a second, before nodding to himself. He never shares his cake with anyone, but she has a good point, it is nice to share. He holds one piece out towards her. “Do you want one?” 

Their eyes meet for the first time and Xaden feels his world shift. She smiles as he holds the cake out even further, “Please take it.” It makes her happy and suddenly keeping that smile on her face is his top goal. She reaches out tentatively to take the cake from him.

“Thank you.” She’s still smiling at him.

“Violet!” Her head whips to the side to look for the source of the voice. An older boy, with auburn curls, walks towards them. 

Violet. Suddenly the most perfect name he had ever heard. It fit her perfectly, small, dainty, but surprisingly hardy. Able to survive the harshest of winters and still come back in the spring, bright and beautiful.

“Violet.” He says again, as he reaches out and grabs her hand not clutching onto the plate of cake. “You can’t walk away from me. We don’t want you to get lost in the crowd.” 

“But Brennan, I wanted-” her voice trails off as her eyes slide back to the dessert table, then back to Xaden’s. 

“Next time tell me, and we can come over here together.” The boy, no Brennan as she called him, says to her. 

She rolls her eyes, but nods “Okay.” Brennan wraps his arm around her shoulder and leads her away from the desserts, the chocolate cake still in her hands. Her head turns to look over her shoulder, catching one more glance at Xaden. She gives him a small smile and waves, before allowing herself to be led away. 

Xaden feels frozen in place, staring at the place where the crowd had swallowed up her form. His trance is broken when a hand clamps down on his shoulder. He looks up, it’s his father.

“Who was that?” Xaden asked, the chocolate cake almost all but forgotten.

“Brennan Sorrengail. He’s meant to be brilliant, he’ll join the riders quadrant in a few years.” His dad replied, assuming Xaden had wanted to make the boy’s acquaintance. Xaden had always been interested in the riders. “He’s quite a bit older than you though.”

Xaden shook his head as his father was speaking. “No, not him. Her. The girl who was with him. He called her Violet.”

His dad looked at him curiously, wondering why his young son seems so infatuated with a girl he never met. Unless…

“That’s his sister then.” Fen’s eyes scan the crowd, his gaze landing on the girl where she sits down with her brother, the rest of her family around the same table. He holds back a chuckle when the girl's head swings to look at them, her eyes wide and her cheeks red. Her mouth drops open in an “O” when she notices Fen looking before turning back to her family.

“Do you know anything about her?” Xaden asked his dad, his eyes moving back to the place where the crowd swallowed her up. He’s not tall enough yet to look over the crowd and spot her.

His dad is silent, thinking over his answer for a moment. His eyes move across the rest of the Sorrengails, taking in the family. He knows of them, who in Navarre doesn’t know of the Sorrengails, but he doesn’t know them too well. 

He’s spoken to Lilith a handful of times, Asher even less. He’s heard the whispers of their children though, each legacies in their own way. Brennan, a brilliant tactician even at 17, seemingly the perfect combination of rider and scribe. Mira, known already for her ruthlessness and prowess that would turn her into a formidable rider someday. 

But Violet, there’s little known about her, except that apparently she is brilliant, the smartest of the bunch. He thinks this might be one of the first events he’s even seen her at, just finally old enough to attend these events. 

Fen shrugs, looking back down at his son. “I guess you’ll have to talk to her if you want to know more.” 

He looks up at his dad, his cheeks slightly pink as he shakes his head. He doesn’t think she would want to talk to him again tonight, he already looked crazy enough with two pieces of cake in his hands.

Plus she probably hates him for his attitude.

But Fen watches as his son’s eyes continue to drift towards where Violet is for the rest of the night and he knows this won’t be their last interaction. 

Across the room, Violet turns towards her brother. “Do you know who that was?” she asks as he leads her away from where Xaden was.

“The boy?” He asks her. She just nods as she takes a bite of the cake he gave her. It’s delicious. No wonder he wanted both slices.

“Xaden Riorson, heir of Tyrrendor.” Her eyes nearly bulge from her head. The heir? Well thank god she wasn’t too mean to him. Or had she been? Oh crap.

Brennan laughs at the horror that etches his little sister’s face as she realizes who she was just moments away from beating up over a slice of cake. 

“Yeah, so keep a low profile at these things. We may dine with nobility, but we aren’t. We don’t have the same protections they do.” 

Her face blanches as she replays the conversation in her head. She feels all of two feet tall for her actions with him. Her parents warned her about how she was supposed to act and Mira spent hours with her on etiquette before her parents even let her come tonight. 

And she messed up immediately. 

She lets out a frustrated breath, propping her head up on her hand as she idly eats the rest of the cake. Her brother rubs soothing circles on her back, offering her comfort.

“It’s okay, Vi. I won’t tell. Just do better next time.” 

She nods, swearing to herself that she will keep her head down at these things from now on. Follow her brother to a T and not set a toe out of line. 

They don’t speak to each other again for the rest of the night, but neither of them can get the other off of their minds. Both of them are curious about the other person, but neither wants to bridge that gap again.

Chapter Text

The next time they meet, Violet is nine and Xaden is eleven, well basically twelve. It’s his birthday party this time that they have been invited to. They were invited last year technically, but Violet had dislocated her knee three days prior to the event and was in no condition to travel. Fen Riorson made sure to invite them, if only to try and confirm a suspicion he’d had since their first meeting in Calldyr. 

It’s unseasonably warm in Tyrrendor for this time of year. The winter snow already mostly melted and the air was warm with a crisp spring breeze. Xaden was happy about it, as much as he loved how beautiful his city was watching the snowfall from his place on the roof, he loved spring and summer, with all their colors, even more. He hoped the wildflowers would bloom on his hill soon.

Xaden spots her first, on a balcony off the main dining room and talking with another boy who looks to be their age. His brown hair and brown eyes follow her movement wherever she goes, almost as if he is protecting her. The two look to be in rapt discussion as their heads swing wildly around the grounds of the fortress, with Violet occasionally pointing off into the distance. The other boy would shake his head every time and Xaden could tell Violet was getting more and more annoyed with him. 

“What are you doing?” Xaden asks, coming up behind them. They both startle, jumping back to look at him in shock. The boy sputters and immediately dips his head in reverence to Xaden’s title, while Violet just stares at him in shock.

“Y-Your Grace.” The boy is clearly nervous about offending Xaden.

Xaden waves a dismissive hand in the boy’s direction. “None of that, you can just call me Xaden.” Both kids are silent for a moment as they take note of the situation. “What are you doing?” He asks them again. 

The two share a look for a moment, before Violet says “I want to climb trees. Dain,” She says pointing to the boy standing next to her, “says we shouldn’t. I was just pointing out different trees I thought might be good.”

“Why shouldn’t you climb trees?” He asks her. He still feels as drawn to her as he did the first time he saw her, almost two years ago, and if she wanted to climb trees, he would damn sure make that happen. 

She looks at him warily, as if sizing up if he could be trusted. She remembered the conversation with her brother two years ago vividly, she visited that moment often. Wondering why he gave her the cake, curious about the boy with the gold-flecked onyx eyes, and terrified of him being upset for her attitude the first time they met.

Finally she spoke, “He doesn’t want to get in trouble. He doesn’t like breaking rules and me climbing trees definitely breaks the rules.”

He raises a single eyebrow at her in amusement, “And you like breaking rules?”

She smiled slightly at him, “I wouldn’t say breaking as much as bending the ones I don’t like.”

“Violet…” Dain whines from next to her, tugging on the sleeve of her tunic. “We should go. I promised your dad I’d keep you out of trouble.” He says, afraid that Xaden was about to bust them for, well something. They hadn’t really been doing anything wrong. Xaden resisted the urge to roll his eyes at Dain’s actions. 

“Violet.” Xaden says, her eyes snapping to meet his. Their world narrows a bit to just them, Dain momentarily forgotten about. Xaden holds his hand out to her, his palm up in a “come with me” invitation. “Do you want to climb trees?” 

She’s still for a moment, her eyes still locked onto his. She goes back and forth in her own head, weighing the consequences of taking him up on his perceived offer. On one hand, she was terrified to spend time with Xaden. She didn’t know what to make of him, or the fact that she didn’t want to stay away. On the other hand, she really wanted to climb trees.

She slowly reaches her hand out to meet his, cautiously placing her hand in his.

“Yes.” She breathes out. 

Before she can register what is happening, they are running. He is weaving his way through the complicated hallways of the fortress. He expertly dodges each person that steps into their path as he leads her out the front door. His hand clasped in hers the entire way, to ensure she doesn’t get lost or run into. 

“Xaden!” She yells, through the giggles that haven’t stopped since they started running. He turns to her at the sound of his name, but he merely throws her a wicked grin before turning back around and continuing his pace. 

“Xaden!” She tries again. This time he does slow down a little, coming to match her strides until they come to a stop, a few feet away from the main fortress gate.

“Yes, Violet?” He asks through his rapid breaths brought on from their run. 

She bends over to try and catch her breath, her hand slipping from his as she places them on her knees. He misses the warmth of her hand immediately. “I can't-” * huff* “run” *huff* “that fast.”

“Sure you can, you just did.” He reasons with her. She shoots him a glare, barely visible through the curtain her hair has made in front of her face when she bent over.

He laughs at her attempt to be intimidating, but her short stature makes it hard to take her seriously. She stands up straight, glaring even harder at him, and places both of her hands on her hips.

“Don’t laugh at me!” She all but stomps a foot in indignation. She hates when people laugh at her, it only serves to remind her how different she is from the other kids. He puts his hands up in defeat.

“Alright, no need to get violent.” She scoffs, crossing her arms and turning her head away from him for a moment, before peaking back at him. He is still smiling at her, clearly amused by her dramatics.

She looks away from him again, they were not going anywhere until one of them gave in. She sticks her chin up in stubbornness, she would not be moved until he apologized for laughing at her.

Dain catches up to them finally, confused to see Violet looking so upset while Xaden was grinning away. “Violet, what happened?”

“Violence here is mad at me cause she couldn’t keep up.” Xaden starts.

“My name is Violet.” She over-enunciates the T in her name to get her point across. She still won’t look at him and frankly, it’s starting to annoy him. He didn’t mean to hurt her feelings.

“Oh I know. But you are acting all mean and violent right now. So hence, Violence.” He doesn’t really know how to handle an angry Violet, so he does what normally does, dig his heels in and become just as stubborn.

She turns to him finally, the glare on her face still ever present. She takes a step towards him, like she may actually hit him, when Dain finally steps in between them. They speak in whispers for a moment, Xaden unable to make out any of their words before he sees Violet nod and her expression soften a bit.

Dain turns to look at Xaden, “She wants you to apologize for laughing at her for being small, she… doesn’t like feeling different because of her body.”

Xaden feels his heart sink to the floor and maybe even further than that. “Violet.” He uses her real name, because this is important. Her eyes finally meet his again. “I'm sorry for laughing at you. I wasn't laughing at you for not being able to keep up, the glare you gave me was just not intimidating at all and it made me laugh. But I'm still sorry for making you feel bad.” 

She smiles softly at him and Dain finally moves himself out from between them, content that they weren't about to fight. “It’s okay Xaden. I may have overreacted a bit.” He returns the smile she's giving him.

She reaches her hand out, mimicking the stance he gave her earlier. “Can we go climb trees now? Just… maybe let's walk there.” She giggles when he takes her hand and leads her towards the front gate towards the river at the bottom of the hill with a large oak tree that is perfect for climbing.

In another part of the house, Fen Riorson is staring out the window in his office, watching as his son and Violet come bursting out into the courtyard, at full speed, hand-in-hand. He can tell Violet is struggling to keep up with him, but he watches as they stop for a moment. Violet doubled over, catching her breath, his son's hand still in hers.

Asher Sorrengail, Violet’s father, is sitting in a chair on the other side of the desk. 

“You know Xaden's mother and I weren't soulmates.” Fen starts, trying to gauge the other man's reaction. Asher lifts a single eyebrow at him, clearly confused on why this is what Fen had called him into the office for.

“I did not know that Your Grace.” He says cautiously.

“You can just call me Fen.” He, like his son, felt the formalities were not needed outside of political events. “And I assume you and Lilith are?”

Asher gives him a slow nod, his apprehension evident. “We are, yes.” His mind flashes to the symbol on his chest that both he and his wife share, a splayed open book with a thunderstorm on one of the pages. 

“Has Violet met hers?” 

“Violet?” Asher's face screws up in confusion, “No. She hasn't. Her mother is… uncomfortable with the idea of Violet meeting her soulmate.” 

“Uncomfortable?” Fen questions, he doesn’t quite understand why any parent would want to keep their child from meeting their soulmate. It is the deepest, most pure bond any person could experience.

“Yes. Violet is different from the other children, she has a few physical health issues. Her mother fears her soulmate won't want to… understand, I guess, the nuances of Violet's health.” Asher explains. 

Fen humms, taking in the words from the other man. It doesn’t escape him that Asher did not include himself in not being comfortable with Violet meeting her soulmate. 

Fen waves Asher over to come stand by the window with him. He points down into the courtyard where Violet and Xaden are talking, well maybe fighting now if the look on Violet’s face is any indication.

“Xaden has never met his either, at least, not confirmed.” Fen says, being the cautious one now. He knew Asher was the more logical of the Sorrengails. While his wife was logical in battle, he was logical in life. Even so, he didn't want to push Asher too far and give them a reason to not bring Violet around Xaden anymore, especially now that he knows her mother's reservations.

Asher watches the two for a moment, his eyebrows flying into his hairline when he watches his daughter extend a hand towards Xaden and they walk out of the front gate hand-in-hand. He turns to Fen then, “Do you think…?”

Fen merely nods. “I've never seen my son act the way he does around your daughter. In a positive way. The first time they met at Cam Tauri's birthday two years ago he gave her a piece of chocolate cake. He doesn't share chocolate cake with anyone.”

Asher nods, his eyes pricking with tears of happiness for his daughter, if Fen was to be believed. He'd never fully agreed with his wife's fears, especially as Violet got older and proved to be stronger and more capable than any Sorrengail. In his mind a soulmate would love you through the health issues, but it can be hard to stand up to someone who is that commanding.

“I have an offer for you Asher, if you're willing to hear me out.” Asher nods and turns away from the window, his daughter fully out of sight now. Xaden was with her, and he is pretty sure he saw Dain trailing after them. She would be safe.

“I'd like you and Violet to come live here for the summer. We are looking to revamp our curriculum in all our schools over the break and who better to do that for us than one of the best scribes Navarre has to offer.” Asher looks shocked at the offer. “I know Lilith can't be away from her duty for too long, and that Brennan and Mira are both training for the Riders quadrant, so I will understand if you are not interested in being away from them for that long.”

Asher was silent for a moment while he considered his response. “That's a very generous offer Fen. I'd need permission from Markham to come though.”

“Already done.” Fen responds, pulling a letter from his desk and sliding it to Asher. He recognizes Markham's swirling handwriting, giving him permission to work in Aretia for the summer, should he choose to accept it.

“I will obviously need to discuss this with Lilith but… I'd like to say yes. If not for me, then for Violet, if you're right about them.” 

Fen nods, agreeing to wait for an answer until Asher could speak with Lilith, and dismisses him from the office.

Chapter Text

That evening, as they lay in bed together, Asher brings up Fen’s offer to Lilith. He knows she will be skeptical of why he was asked, so he has to be creative to not tip her off about the whole “our daughter potentially met her soulmate” aspect of it all. 

He’d rather tell her once he knew for sure. She’d be more willing to listen and be supportive if he has evidence of Xaden treating their daughter properly.

“Fen Riorson offered me a job today.” He starts, breaking the silence that was only consumed by their breaths. 

“A job? What kind of job?” She demanded. This was the easy part. Asher was known throughout the continent as one of the best scribes of his generation. It wasn't uncommon for him to be offered jobs when they would visit the provinces, but it was rare he would actually bring it up to his wife. He was happy wherever she was stationed, perfectly content with being in the background so his wife could shine..

“Just for the summer. He wants help restructuring their school curriculum. Markham already agreed to it, if I want it.” He clarifies.

“You must want it if you're bringing it up.” 

He shrugs noncommittally, “It could be a good opportunity.”

“I don't know if I can handle all three kids alone for a whole summer. Mira and Brennan are enough with making sure they get to all their lessons on time. Plus you wanted to increase Violet’s scribe studies this summer now that she will be ten.” Lilith sounds exhausted at the potential of having to parent all three children without the help of her husband.

“Right. It wouldn't be fair to Violet for me to abandon her studies for a summer.” He sighs in a way that finalizes the conversation. “Oh well, it was just a job.” He rolls over on his side, wondering if his wife will take the bait. He feels some guilt at manipulating her in this way, but until he knows for sure, he doesn’t want to tell her about Fen’s guesses. 

She's silent for a while, he knows she is still awake though. Her breathing is too quick to be asleep. Probably running through all the different options that could happen if he leaves or stays.

Finally, right as his body was about to give up the fight against sleep for the night, “Maybe you should bring her with you. She can study just as well there as she can at home.” 

He smiles to himself, “What a great idea.”

Two months later, Asher and Violet are on their way back to Tyrrendor. It’s the end of May, almost June, and the Tyrrendor schools had just let out for their summer breaks. They would be in the province until the beginning of the next school year in September. 

Violet is so excited to spend a summer away from her mother’s disapproving glare. She is buzzing in the carriage, her face pressed against the window as she takes in all the sights of Aretia as they pull up towards Riorson House.

“Violet, sweetheart, sit down before you get hurt.” He said, pulling his daughter to sit down next to him. He throws an arm over her shoulders to keep her rooted in place.

“But it’s so pretty.” She whines, looking up at her father.

He chuckles at her, “You were just here. It can’t be that different.”

She sighs and rolls her eyes, exasperated. “The flowers hadn’t bloomed yet. It’s different.” It was the most beautiful city in the entire world in her opinion. The only time she had been here was Xaden’s birthday earlier this year, but she missed the city fiercely the entire time she was gone.

It was nothing like the drab and boring outposts she was always subjected to. Everywhere she looked here was color, from the pots outside the store fronts to the beautiful green roofs that line the buildings. The streets bustling with vendors and shopkeepers trying to sell their wares to anyone who passes by. 

He smiles at her, he’s glad that she’s excited to be here. “Let’s practice.” He says, switching from the common tongue to Tyrrish. He’s started teaching her Tyrrish after Lilith had agreed to let Violet come with him. She was a quick learner, always had had a certain knack for learning languages, but was far from fluent. He expects her to be after this summer. 

“Hello!” She gives him a toothy grin as she begins their conversation in Tyrrish.

“Hello, what’s your name?”

“My name is Violet Sorrengail.” She replies slowly, her speech is choppy and rough, but she gets all the right words.

“How are you today?”

“I'm green!” She says confidently. 

“You’re green?” He repeats her words back to her, hoping she notices the mistake. She does. Her face screws up in confusion as she runs through her knowledge of Tyrrish in her head.

“I’m… great?” She tries again, voicing the statement like a question as she thinks through her words.

Her father smiles at her, “There we go.” He says, switching back into the common tongue. “You should practice with Xaden this summer. I’m sure he would be happy to help.”

She grins at the thought of seeing her friend again. They'd only been able to see each other the day they had climbed trees together during his birthday celebration. He'd spent the rest of the celebration being passed around like a newborn to say hello to all the guests. Though he did sneak her a piece of chocolate cake before it was meant to be served and then he was dragged away again.

“Can I spend time with him everyday?” She asks. If her father thought she had been excited before, now he was certain she would explode with her energy.

“I don't know about that, Love. You have studies in the mornings, I'm sure his father has duties for him as well.” She frowns slightly, but nods. She's sure they would get plenty of time together.

As they pass through the main gates of Riorson House, the carriage comes to a stop in front of where Fen and Xaden are waiting. Asher exits the carriage, holding the door open and helping Violet out safely. He notices Xaden’s face go from the bored indifference of being forced to greet guests to the house to pure excitement when he realized who the guests were.

“Asher! Violet! I'm glad you could join us.” Fen says, closing the distance and shaking Asher's hand. Xaden has already moved in front of Violet, a wide grin on his face. 

“I didn't know you were coming.” He says to her, his voice sounding almost… shy.

She shrugged, “I'll be here all summer with my dad.” He didn't know it was possible for Xaden’s smile to get bigger, but somehow it did. 

“Dad?” Xaden asked, turning to look at his father. His dad knew what he was asking without even fully asking. Fen turned to Asher then, who also seemed to understand the question Xaden was asking. Asher nodded.

“Go on then.” Fen said, effectively dismissing the children. Xaden grabs Violet’s hand at his father's words, and leads her away to show her further around the house and introduce her to his friends.

“Violet!” Her dad called out before she was too far away. Both kids freeze halfway up the stairs to the front door and turn to face him, Violet’s eyes wide.

“Be careful.” He warns. 

“I will!” She turns back around, allowing herself to be pulled into Riorson House. Her soft giggles at something Xaden said floating back to her father before they are out of sight. 

Asher smiled at his daughter's back as she was led away, before turning back to Fen.

“They’re cute, aren’t they?” Fen says, his smile wide as he watches the place where his son disappeared into the house.

Asher nodded, his mind flying through the implications of Xaden being his daughter’s soulmate. The only time he had really seen them interact was through the window in Fen’s office and he had been unsure then, but trusted Fen who had seen them up close. 

He could already almost see what Fen had suspected, already noticing the ways his daughter was different with Xaden than she was with other children.

Violet was not a shy child, in fact she regularly would engage with others especially if she felt they were doing something wrong. She was, however, a cautious child. She knows she has physical limitations, even if she recklessly breaks down all her barriers, but it makes her slow to trust, especially other children. She wasn't used to them being okay with going her pace. So her letting herself be dragged away from her father with someone she's met twice was out of character.

Asher nodded to Fen. “They are.” They shared a smile, both of them happy for the possibilities in place for their children.

Fen leads him into the house, eager to show him where they will be staying and to help orient him to the house. 

Asher nods to himself when he hears the voices of children, including Xaden and Violet, coming from the large meeting room and he knows he made the right decision in bringing her here, that this is where she is meant to be. 

Chapter Text

Xaden leads her through the halls of Riorson house, his hand wrapped around her wrist as he gently tugs her along.

“I want to introduce you to my friends… if that’s okay?” He was feeling a little overwhelmed that she was here. He knew her dad was coming to work for them for the summer, but he hadn’t expected Violet to get out of the carriage as well. 

He wants to impress her, wants her to feel comfortable here. He wants her to want to be here with him and his friends. 

She nods and says “I hope they like me.” He looks back at her from his place about half a step in front of her. 

“They would be crazy not to.” They share wide, happy smiles. 

Xaden leads her into a large meeting room. They had been in here, trying to decide what they wanted to do for the day when his father had come to get him to greet their guests. There were five other children sitting around the room, they all looked to be around similar ages as Xaden and her. They all turn to stare at her when Xaden opens the door and she follows behind him. She freezes when she notices all the eyes on her, feeling a little out of place with a clearly close group.

Xaden gives her wrist a slight tug to keep her walking into the room, her amber and blue hazel eyes meet his gold-flecked onyx and he can see the anxiety coursing through them. “It’s okay.” He murmurs, just loud enough for her to hear him, and tugs on her wrist again. This time she lets herself be pulled further into the room.

“This is Violet. Her dad is working with my dad this summer so she will be here with us too. Be nice assholes.” 

“Xaden!” She exclaims, not expecting the crude language. He gives her a wicked smile, her disapproval at his language amusing him.

“Anyways,” He doesn’t apologize for his language, and she knew he wouldn’t. She was mainly just surprised to hear it, it’s not like her brother or sister haven’t used similar words around her before.

“This is my cousin Bodhi.” He points to the first boy on the left side of the table. He looks remarkably like Xaden, she can see the clear family resemblance. He is shorter though, and if she didn’t already know Xaden, she probably would’ve approached him to be friends first. While she knows now that Xaden is nice, he has an air of importance around him from being the heir that would’ve made her nervous to approach him.

“That’s Imogen and Garrick.” He points to the next two, a girl with shoulder length pink hair and a dark haired boy who looks closest in age to Xaden.

“And that’s Liam and his little sister Sloane.” He finally points to the two blondes on the right side of the table. They look so similar she would’ve thought they were twins. 

Everyone at the table smiles at her and a chorus of “Hellos” rings out in the room. Violet smiles back at them, and gives them a small wave. “It’s nice to meet you guys.”

“Violet, why don’t you be our tie breaker?” Bodhi starts, inviting her to come sit next to him. Xaden leads her over to the table, helping her into her chair before sitting down next to her. 

“Tie-breaker for what?” 

“Us three,” He points to himself, Sloane, and Imogen, “want to go down to the river to go swimming. While those three,” he points to Xaden, Liam, and Garrick, “want to go to the sparring gym to practice fighting.”

“Fighting?” her nose scrunches up in confusion as she turns to Xaden, “You guys fight each other?” 

Xaden nods. “The three of us want to be riders someday. I’ll probably end up in the infantry, if my dad gets his way. But I still like sparring.” 

She nods as if this makes all the sense in the world. To her it does, though. Her brother and sister were both destined to be riders too. Secretly, she’s glad that Xaden won’t end up a rider, too many people die in that quadrant. 

“What about you? I bet as a Sorrengail you’re going to be a rider too.” Garrick asks her. She likes that he assumes this instead of immediately dismissing her because of her size.

She shakes her head quickly. “No. Brennan and Mira, my brother and sister, will be riders like mom. I’m going to be a scribe like my dad.” She loved the library and her books. It was the one way she was able to stand out from her siblings. Brennan might also be smart, but she was clever and knew how to use her knowledge like a weapon. 

“A scribe?” Garrick asked, incredulously. No one in their group wanted to be a scribe. Xaden, Liam, and Garrick wanted to be riders, Bodhi would just follow Xaden wherever he ended up even though he always thought he would be a good healer, Imogen would probably go into infantry like her sister and mother, and Sloane wanted to be a healer. 

She nods. “That's why my mom let me come here. My dad is going to help me with my studies.” She would be waking up every morning with her father to do studies until lunch and then she was free to be with the other children. 

“Everyday?” The whole table looks bewildered.

She just shrugs and gives the table a half smile, “I like books.” It was the easiest explanation. She’d asked her father once if she could be a rider like her siblings. He’d given her the saddest smile she’d ever seen as he told her that she was destined for a different path. It was the only time she ever hated her body.

The table just smiled at her before Bodhi jumped back in, “So which is your choice? Sparring or swimming?” She matched their grins with one of her own before making her decision. 

Ten minutes later, the gaggle of children burst out of the front door after Imogen promptly yelled out “Last one there is a Gryphon Rider!” and everyone took off running. The river lay beside the house, just a little ways into the forest that surrounds the outer limits of the city. 

It wasn’t entirely unheard of to see the group running through the streets, especially during the summer when they had more free reign to run and play. Everyone in the city knew who Xaden was, and in proxy knew his friends, so there was always some adult keeping an eye on them in some form or another.

“Come on Violence!” Xaden grabs her hand once again, it was starting to be a habit of his, and leads her towards the river. “We don’t want to be no stinking Gryphon Rider.” 

Xaden must’ve learned his lesson from his party. While he was still much faster than her, he pushed her speed just enough that it ended up being Liam, who had fallen back to make sure Sloane was okay, that ended up being the last one at the river. 

Even though this had been Violet’s pick, she wasn’t really prepared to actually go swimming. She was still in the same clothes she had worn to travel here, a loose fitting tunic and a pair of black pants, so she rolls her pant legs up as high as she can get them and sits on the edge of the river. 

She lets her feet dangle in the water, the cool water a stark difference to the warm humid air of summer. She leans back, letting her arms support her upright as she lets the sun warm her skin, her eyes falling shut to the sounds of the river and the others splashing in the water. 

“Having fun?” 

She cracks an eye open at the voice, peering up at the figure looking down at her. Bodhi was standing there, looking down at her with a curious look on his face. She smiles and nods once, patting the grass beside her in clear invitation for him to join her. 

“You’re not going in?” He asks, gesturing towards the river as he sits down next to her. He dangles his legs into the river as well, copying her relaxed position. 

“Not really dressed for it.” She doesn’t want to tell him that she hasn’t wrapped her ankles today and the uneven bed of the river could wreak havoc on her joints if she wasn’t careful. She doesn’t know him well enough to offer that information and she doesn’t really want to tell him anyways. 

She just met them, she just wanted to be Violet for a bit. Not the girl that everyone had to watch out for or slow down for, and if that meant she just sat on the edge with her feet in the water, then that’s what she was happy to do. 

They will find out eventually, she knows, whether she tells them or they inevitably witness her getting hurt, and in her experience, that’s when they will leave. They will try to do activities she can still do, for a little while, before they get bored of waiting for her to heal and leave her behind again and again until it’s not worth trying to catch up. 

The only person who never left after seeing her hurt, who waited patiently for her to feel better, was Dain. And while Xaden may have assumed there was something different about her at his birthday, she wasn’t exactly eager to confirm anything. 

But until the day that they decide she isn’t worth the effort, she’s content to just be here, sitting by the river and listening to the sounds of new friends splashing and playing. Content to just enjoy the sun and enjoy these friends while she can still pretend to be just like them.

Chapter Text

The weekends were Violet’s favorite days while in Tyrrendor. Her dad did not make her study those days so she could spend every moment with Xaden and her friends. She did miss that not all of her friends were around though. Liam, Sloane, and Imogen were only in the house on days when their parents were needed for council meetings with Fen, so most days were just her, Xaden, Garrick, and Bodhi. 

This particular Saturday afternoon was proving to be especially rainy. It had been raining hard for the last three days and the four of them were becoming a little stir-crazy. While Aretia's weather was never the most consistent, warm and sunny one day then cool and damp the next, it was pretty rare there wasn't a single moment for them to run around the outdoor grounds of the house. 

After an hour of sitting and staring at the ceiling, bored out of their minds, Garrick had an idea and for once, everyone was in agreement.

That was how the four of them found themselves running through the halls with brooms between their legs and dull plastic practice swords. They were playing Riders. 

The brooms were the fiercest dragons in the land, guiding them into battle with precise beats of their wings. The swords were the strongest and most powerful signets ever seen. They never gave a name to their signets, they didn't need to, they just knew theirs was the best. 

The premise of the game was simple: ride your dragon into battle and defeat the evil Gryphon riders, also known as the handful of guards they had managed to convince to allow the children to “capture” them. 

That’s how Violet and Xaden found themselves standing near the main entrance to the house, peeking around a corner, staring down a guard who was looking just a little too nonchalant about the whole thing. Bodhi and Garrick were on the other side of the hall, making eye contact with Xaden. He gestured wildly, in what was probably meant to be a vague plan of how to take down the guard, but really just looked a bit crazy. 

“ CHARGE!!!” All four children rush the guard at the same time, the four of them surrounding him with their practice swords raised. 

“Oh no!” He dramatically laid a hand across his forehead. “The dragon riders are here, what ever shall I do?” 

“Surrender!” Xaden says, as he raises his sword even higher.

“Or what?” He challenged back.

“Or… We will capture you!” Garrick declares. 

“Not if I capture you first!” The guard lunges towards them, causing all four of them to scream and turn to run. Violet, the smallest and slowest out of the four of them, is lifted from the ground by the guard as he holds her over his shoulder like she is a bag of grain. 

“Help!!! Xaden, help!” She yells out between her giggles. She beats lightly on the guards back, knowing her small frame is nothing to him. “Put me down you stinky Gryphon rider!” 

“Never!” The guard turns to stare at the three boys. “I’ve captured your princess, she is mine now.” He does his best impression of an evil laugh. 

“Give her back!” Garrick and Bodhi drop their swords and brooms, lunging for the legs of the guard. They both attached themselves to the legs of the guard, their arms and legs wrapping around the bottom half of the guard’s legs. Xaden stays in front of him, the sword still raised at the guard. 

“Ahh well, since you asked so nicely.” He gently sets Violet back down and she scurries to hide behind Xaden. Her arms wrap around his waist as she peeks from behind his back, through the opening his arms have made as they still hold his sword raised.

“The princess has been returned!” Bodhi shouts, letting go of the guard's leg and rushing to stand by Xaden’s side.

“I’m not the princess, I’m a rider too.” Violet argues. She was just as fierce as they were, she didn’t need their protection. Even if she was smaller… and they did just have to rescue her from the bad guy.

“The rider princess then.” Garrick compromises, patting her on the head as he comes to stand on Xaden’s other side. She contemplates this idea for a moment and then nods. She can live with that.

“Quick! To the stairs before he gets us again!” Xaden commands, and the four of the take off running, trying to be careful of the puddles near the entrance from the rain. Even if the children weren’t allowed outside due to the weather, that didn’t mean others weren’t coming in and out, tracking in water with them.

Just before they reach the stairs, Violet loses her footing, slipping slightly on a puddle, and her ankle gives out from under her. She feels it roll, and hears the sickening pop and stretch of her ligaments tearing. The pained noise she lets out as she goes to the ground is enough to make Xaden’s stomach roll. All three boys turn to rush back to her side.

Xaden gets there first, dropping to his knees at her side. “Violet?” His eyes are wild with panic. “What happened? Are you okay?” 

She shakes her head quickly, he can see the tears welling up in her eyes. “I need my dad.” She says with one hand grasping her ankle. Xaden sits on the ground behind her, encouraging her to lean into him. 

“Bodhi! Garrick! Find Mr. Sorrengail.” They both nod their confirmation and take off running, yelling out for both her father and Xaden’s. 

The guard they were just playing with has dropped down to one knee beside her as well, trying to keep both children calm.

Xaden is mostly quiet, his panic and fear at seeing her hurt paralyzing him in place. He continues to support her weight so she can lean, rubbing soothing circles on her back. He doesn’t say much, just whispering an occasional “it’s going to be okay” to her as she fights the tears in her eyes.

After a few moments, Asher and Fen come running down the steps to where they are sitting. Asher scoops up Violet at the same time that she reaches out for him, her tears freely flowing once she is in her father’s arms. 

“What happened, Love?” Asher asks her, as he smooths down her hair in an attempt to comfort his daughter. Her face is buried in his shoulder, soaking his shirt with her tears. She shakes her head, not wanting to speak. He lets out a small sigh, “I can’t help if I don’t know what’s wrong.”

Fen turns and levels the “dad” look at all three boys. “Start talking.” Bodhi and Garrick turn to look at each other, unsure of what really happened. Xaden isn’t looking at his father at all, his eyes are still on Violet’s back as her father attempts to calm her down. 

“Her ankle.” is all Xaden offers up. 

“Your Grace if I may?” The guard stands up then, looking towards Fen. He nods at him, encouraging him to talk. 

“They were just playing. Violet slipped in the puddle from the rain and her ankle rolled, sounded pretty bad.” He explains. He didn't want the boys to get in trouble for something that wasn't their fault. 

“Thank you.” Asher says, nodding at the guard. “Let's go get this ankle wrapped huh?” He nudges Violet in his arms, who has since stopped crying, the comfort of her father calming her. Violet just gives a vague nod. 

“Let's go boys. We can visit Miss Violet later once she is feeling better.” Fen tries to usher the boys out of the room, giving Violet and her father some privacy.

Xaden, however, seems frozen in place staring at Violet still. His upset is evident on his face as her father turns his back to the boys and begins heading towards the infirmary. 

Violet raises her head just enough to peer over her father's shoulder, making eye contact with Xaden. He watches as she leans in and whispers something to her father. He pauses as he is halfway up the stairs and turns back around to look at the young boy. 

“Xaden? Do you want to come with us?” He asks him, his daughter having asked to have him there. He nods quickly running up to be at his side. She slowly extracts one of her arms from around her father's neck, reaching it down towards Xaden who quickly grabs her hand, offering as much support as he can. She feels safer than she ever has, her father and her best friend supporting her. 

She hears Bodhi ask Fen if she is going to be okay as her father leads her away with Xaden. Fen reassures the two other boys that she will be okay in a few days, but that they had to be gentle until she was feeling better. It makes her feel warm inside that her new friends care this much.

When they arrive at the infirmary, the healers make quick work of stabilizing Violet’s ankle and wrapping it tight. They give her strict orders to stay off of it and hand her a set of crutches that she immediately turns her nose up at. This isn't the first time and won't be the last time she sprains an ankle, she doesn't need crutches.

Her father laughs at her actions, knowing that she was not going to use them. She had never used them if she could help it after the first time she hurt herself, claiming them to be too uncomfortable and honestly just a hindrance. 

“Chocolate?” Asher asks her, as he stands to leave out the infirmary door. 

She glances at Xaden for a moment before nodding her head, her eyes watching as her father leaves the room, shutting the door behind him. 

“Are you sure you’re okay?” Xaden asks quietly. He hasn’t let go of her hand since he took it when they were on their way to the infirmary. Seeing her laying on the ground, grabbing her ankle with tears in her eyes, is an image he does not think will ever leave his head. 

She nods slowly. “Yes. I’m okay. I’m sorry.” She whispers, keeping her eyes down staring at the blanket where her other hand played with the hem of the blanket she had piled on her lap. 

“What are you sorry for?” He asks, his eyes flying to her face. She avoided his eyes, not wanting to see what she thought she might see there. She was used to seeing the rejection in the other kids and wanted five more minutes with Xaden before she saw it in him too.

“I…” She trails off, “We were playing. I ruined it.” 

“You didn’t ruin it,” Xaden insisted. Sure they had had to stop playing, but they were basically done anyway, they had just completed the daring rescue that always comes at the end of the story. Plus he would rather her be okay than play any game. 

“I did.”

They’re both silent for a moment, Violet continues to anxiously fiddle with the blanket in her lap. He doesn’t push her, just continues to grasp her hand, allowing her to feel the grounding comfort of him being nearby.

She shrugs slightly, letting out a deep breath. “I get hurt a lot, my knees and ankles mostly but sometimes my shoulders too. I was born this way, I can’t help it. It definitely won’t be the last time I get hurt around you, if you still want to be friends.”

“Why wouldn’t I still want to be friends?” He rears back like she physically reached out and hit him. Did she really think so little of him that he would stop being her friend just because she gets hurt. 

She shrugs again and still won’t look at him. “The kids at home don’t, I slow them down… apparently. I only have Dain and my siblings.” A rush of annoyance spreads through Xaden at these words. How dare someone make Violet feel less than just because of her body.

He squeezes her hand and she finally looks over at him, pausing at the sight of him. He looked… mad. But not at her. No, he was angry that other people in her life had made her feel so bad about things she can’t control. Angry that others had hurt his friend in ways that can’t just be wrapped up tight.

“You’re still my friend Violet. You getting hurt doesn’t change that.” She smiles widely at him and he returns it. “Can you teach me how to wrap your knees and ankles so I can help in the future?” She nods enthusiastically at him, reaching over to the side table to grab one of the extra wraps the healer had left her.

When her dad comes back fifteen minutes later, with two giant bowls of chocolate ice cream, he smiles at the picture in front of him. Violet has shifted, her legs dangling off the side of the bed with her uninjured foot in his lap, as Xaden attempts to follow her instructions for a tight, stabilizing wrap. 

He sets both bowls on the tray table beside her bed as she moves to sit properly in her bed. She shifts to the side, making room and encouraging Xaden to come sit with her. He scrambles up, taking his place as both kids begin to make quick work of their treat. 

“Dad says ice cream helps you heal faster, and he knows everything.” Violet explains. Xaden nods, his mouth full of ice cream. He wasn’t about to complain.

The next week, Violet learns that all of her new friends don’t seem to mind that she got hurt, in fact they almost seem excited to do new activities with her. 

Xaden meets her at her door every morning to carry her to her lessons on his back, she didn’t even take the crutches from the healers, and picks her up at the library to bring her to lunch. Bodhi is always there too, carrying her books and making sure she is fully settled before the two boys go off on their own duties for the day.

Imogen brings all of the card games from her house that her sister won’t miss and walks her through stretches to help reduce tension and swelling in her ankle. Liam makes sure she always has a good snack and cold water, while Sloane practices increasingly complicated braids in Violet’s hair. 

Garrick keeps things entertaining. He’s the most restless out of all of them, and he doesn’t mind doing the calmer activities while her ankle heals, but he’s fidgety. He takes her books, forcing the others into dramatic readings and acting out the scenes, and she spends her time laughing at their antics from her spot under a large tree in the courtyard. 

All of them take turns practicing wrapping ankles and knees, just to make sure they have it right for the future. 

“How’s that?” Xaden asks, tapping her uninjured ankle where he just finished practicing a wrap. She tested it a bit, moving her foot back and forth to test the ankle mobility. It was tight, tight enough to keep her ankle in place should she roll it, but not so tight that she wouldn’t be able to walk on it. 

She gives him a soft smile, “It’s perfect Xaden, thank you.” He returns her smile, moving to sit next to her while they wait for Garrick and Bodhi. It’s just the four of them again today, just like it had been the day she got hurt. 

“You’re welcome.” He nudges her gently with his elbow, “I’ll always be here to help.” 

She flushes scarlet with his words and her heart flutters just a little at the idea of him always being around. And when Garrick and Bodhi join them, a plate of snacks and card game in hand, it feels like her chest might crack wide open with absolute joy that she may have finally found a place where she truly belongs. 

Chapter Text

As much as Violet loved Aretia and her new friends, she couldn’t deny that she was missing her siblings and Dain. There was even a small part of her that missed her mother, as awkward as their relationship could be sometimes. She knew her mother loved and cared for her, but there was no denying that she was just more involved with her siblings than she was with Violet. 

Her siblings though, they were her favorite people in the world. Despite the large age gap, she and her siblings were close. Brennan or her father were always the first people Violet would reach for when she was hurt or when the flare-up’s made it nearly impossible to leave her bed. Brennan never hesitated to crawl into bed with her, rubbing soothing circles on her back or making sure her heating pads stayed warm. 

Mira, on the other hand, was the very definition of a protective big sister. The first time one of the kids on base had made fun of Violet, she threatened the kid so harshly, Violet’s not sure she ever saw him again. She wanted to shield Violet from the cruelty of the world, while Brennan sought to patch her up when some of that cruelty made itself known.

Dain was… different. Not counting her friends here in Aretia, he was the first person outside of her family who didn’t leave when he found out how easily she was hurt. He never liked seeing her hurt, and worried more than she did sometimes, but he was kind and fun and never made her feel bad for her own limitations. It also helped that he was a similar age as her, so she never felt like the awkward little sister with him. 

She wished they were here to meet her new friends.

Five days before her birthday, Violet and Xaden are wandering through the halls of Riorson house together. Her ankle was mostly healed by this point, just a small wrap to keep it stable, but he loved carrying her and she loved being close to him, so she was on his back, her arms tight around his neck and his hands under her thighs keeping her in place. 

It was just them today, Bodhi and Garrick both spending time with their families this Sunday afternoon. As they wandered, they were speaking to each other in Tyrrish, her language skills had greatly improved since she had arrived a month and a half ago. As they wander, Xaden is pointing out different tapestries that hang in the house, telling her the history of his province. 

“This one is from when the Black Dragons still used our mountains as their hatching grounds.” He says, pointing towards the large tapestry that hung in front of the main entrance. It showed a brilliant blue sky, dotted with black dragons. The tapestry itself took up most of the wall above the entrance, the Tyrrish clearly proud of the history of their lands. 

“It’s beautiful.” She whispers, her eyes wide in awe as she takes in the piece. He smiles at her over his shoulder.

“You think so?” She nods, her eyes not leaving the wall. She stared at the giant black dragon in the middle of the tapestry, mesmerized by the wings that take up a majority of the center. 

“There you two are!” Xaden spins them around, coming face to face with their fathers. They are both smiling at the two children, clearly happy that they were together at this moment. 

“Violet, Fen has a birthday surprise for you.” Her father starts. 

She looks surprised, her mouth dropping open in a slight shock. “But my birthday isn’t until Wednesday.”

Her father raises a single eyebrow at her, silently admonishing her for her lack of manners. She taps Xaden’s chest with one of her hands, a silent signal between them to let her off his back. She slides off his back and he holds out an arm to steady her, before she turns towards his father.

“Sorry. I didn’t mean to be rude. I meant thank you, Duke Riorson.” She gives him a shy smile before looking down at the ground. She may have been living in his house for the past six weeks, but he was still intimidating to her. He was tall, so tall , compared to everyone in her family and had this presence about him that commanded the respect of the entire room. 

He gives a quick laugh, bending at the knees so he is at her level. He taps her chin gently, her gaze raising to look him in the eye.  “I told you that you don’t have to call me duke. You can just call me Fen.” 

“You can even call him Dad, like I do!” Xaden says, hoping to help provide an alternative to the formal name. 

Her eyes widen in surprise as she glances towards Xaden. She gestures towards her own father who stands right next to Fen. “But I already have a dad,” she argues back. 

Xaden rolls his eyes, “Okay so he’s your duke dad.”

Her eyes go back to Fen, who is still crouched in front of her. Her hands raise in front of her mouth as she tries to contain the giggle that is making its way up. “Okay, Duke Dad,” she giggles even harder at her new nickname for him, “Thank you for my birthday present.”

He gives her a soft smile, fondness for her shining in his eyes, “You don’t even know what it is, you might still hate it.” 

He stands back up, checking the time on his pocket watch before nodding at Asher. Her gift should be here any moment now. 

The front door opens, swinging wide as the four of them turn to see who has arrived. Violet’s mouth drops open in surprise as she takes in the figures in front of her. She’s moving, running towards the front door before Xaden was able to register who is there.

She launches herself into Brennan’s arms who holds her close, lifting her feet off the ground. Mira comes in from the left side of Brennan to join the hug and Dain does the same from the right. 

Her mother merely gives her a pat on the head and she strides by to embrace Asher. It’s hard, being apart from a soulmate, even when you are adults who understand why it had to happen. 

She doesn’t realize she’s crying until Brennan pulls back, setting her on her feet and wiping her tears away with a quick brush of his thumbs. “Did you miss us, little sister?” She nods rapidly before giving both Mira and Dain their own individual hugs. 

“What happened?” Brennan asks, as he bends down to examine his sister’s ankle that is still wrapped tightly. 

“Just a sprain.” She said, shrugging a little. “It’s all better now though!” She jumps up once, before balancing on her previously injured ankle, showing him that she can easily hold her own weight on it again. 

“Alright, alright. Calm down, don’t hurt yourself again.” Brennan laughs and ruffles her hair, picking up his pack. “Let us get settled and then you can show us all around.” 

She nods at his words, watching as he turns to follow their father as he leads the way to the rooms they will be staying in. 

Mira gives her a quick once over, “Everyone is being nice to you here?”

Violet nods quickly, “Yes! I have lots of friends. They were nice to me when I was hurt.” 

Mira purses her lips in that big sister way that tells Violet she is still hesitant on her so-called friends. Mira is overprotective to a fault. Where Brennan always makes sure to put Violet back together in one piece, Mira would beat up whatever, and whoever, had caused her to need Brennan in the first place. 

Seriously. She once watched Mira punch a tree after Violet tripped over its roots and skinned her knee. They both had to get help from Brennan that day. 

“You let me know if I need to kick some ass right?”

“Language Mira!” Violet exclaims. Mira just rolls her eyes and follows off in the direction of her parents. 

Violet looks over to Fen, “Can I show Dain the library?” She asks. Dain was the only other person she knows that holds the same love and appreciation for books that she has. None of her friends here wanted to be a scribe and while Dain probably wouldn’t either, he was still one of the only other people who challenged her when it came to studies.

Fen nods and she grins.

“Come on!” She grabs Dain’s hand the same way Xaden does hers, tugging him down the hallway like she owns the place. Xaden stares at their retreating backs, wondering if he should go with them. 

She never asked him to come, but didn’t ask him to stay behind either. He takes a single step forward when he’s stopped in his tracks. 

His father puts a hand on his shoulder, and Xaden looks toward him, silently asking why he was stopped. “Why don’t you and I go see about dinner? Give Vi some time with her family?” 

Xaden shrugged noncommittally, but nods and lets himself be led in the opposite direction of Violet.  

Xaden learns very quickly over the next few days that Dain Aetos was going to be a giant pain in his ass. He never let Violet out of his sight, ever. 

Xaden showed up at her door to walk with her to her lessons, Dain was already waiting. He tries to bring her a sandwich during lunch, she’s already got one courtesy of one Dain Aetos. She invites him to sit with them, but he declines, not wanting to feel on the outside as they talk about whatever lesson she was doing this week. 

When he finally gets a few minutes alone with her the day before her birthday, he makes the most of it. He finds her as she’s leaving the kitchens well after dinner hours. 

“What are you doing?” he asks, falling into stride next to her. She’s on her way back to her rooms, if the direction she’s walking is any indication, so he needs to make the most of these next five minutes. 

“The kitchen asked for special requests for my birthday so we were planning my birthday dinner.” 

“Let me guess, cheese and bread?” 

She elbows him in the side, “I am not that predictable,” she grumbles. The look on her face, though, tells Xaden he was pretty accurate. 

“What are you doing for your birthday tomorrow? I know everyone misses you being around. I’m sure they’d like to see you.” He asks cautiously as they approach her door.

“We’re going into town I think. My brother owes me a book and I think my dad wants to visit one of the cafe’s with my mom.” They stop outside the door to her family’s quarters. “But I should be back for dinner. Maybe we can do something after?” 

He nods, knowing that it might be the best he can ask for with so many people vying for her attention right now. 

“Violet?” Both of them turn to look at the voice, spotting Dain standing in the door. Xaden barely suppresses the urge to groan at the interruption. 

“Hi Dain!” She gives him a wide smile, “I’ll be inside in just a moment.” His gaze flicks suspiciously between the two of them before Violet is waving her hand at him, shooing him away. When the door closes again, Xaden is looking back at her, his eyebrows raised in amusement. 

“Does he always hover so much?” 

She nods, a short laugh escaping her. “I guess I never noticed how much he did until we were here. It’s different at the outposts. There’s so much happening there at all times, you almost need someone by your side just to make sure you don’t get lost. But here…”

“Here it’s annoying as shit?” He finishes for her.

She laughs again, “Not quite the word I was going to use but basically.” 

He smiles, maybe a little too happy to hear that she finds his hovering as annoying as he does. 

“Well…” She tucks a piece of her hair behind her ear, moving towards the door. “Good night Xaden.”

He grabs her wrist, tugging gently so that she turns back to him and he pulls her into a hug. He relaxes as her arms wrap around him, squeezing just slightly. 

“I know I’m a little early, but I wanted to be first.” 

She pulls back just slightly to look up at him in confusion, but returns the smile he gives her. 

“Happy Birthday Violet.”

Chapter Text

Xaden’s sitting in his father’s office on Wednesday, Violet was out in town with her family and Dain celebrating her birthday, and would be all day. The chair he sat in faced outwards towards the main gates of the house, he was watching intently to see when she would arrive back. 

Xaden, in short, hated that they were here. Well, maybe not hated, but he wasn’t very happy about it. He was always happy when she was happy, and these people made her happy. But she was spending less time with him as a result which made him unhappy.

He was more fidgety than normal, his leg bouncing in place as his fingers drummed the armrest of the chair. His dad was sitting behind his desk, looking through missives from the last few days and occasionally peering up to stare at his son.

“Why don't you go spend time with your friends?” His dad finally asks, the constant fidgeting he’s doing is getting on his last nerve. He could normally handle some, he knows his son is only 12, some fidgeting is to be expected, but this was getting to be too much. 

Xaden just shrugs and continues to look out the window. “I’m waiting for Violet.” Garrick and Bodhi had both stopped by the office earlier to try and get Xaden to come with them, only to be met with the same answer. 

Fen sighs and sets down the missive he has been reading and observes his son. He’d already suspected that he and Violet were soulmates. Obviously, that’s why he invited them here. He wanted his son to know that kind of love and caring for as long as he could, but Fen was beginning to wonder if it was too soon, or a mistake to bring her here.

She was only here for another month and a half. If Xaden was this distraught and torn up about her being away for a day, how would they handle months apart from each other? He was starting to feel guilty for the potential pain he caused these two children.

“Why don’t you do something nice for her for her birthday?” Fen suggested, trying to help him channel this anxious energy into something productive. 

“Like what?” Xaden finally turns from the window to look at his father. 

“Well…” his father thinks for a moment. “What is your favorite part of your birthday?” 

“The chocolate cake.” He says immediately. “Oh!” Xaden’s eyes light up and he jumps from the chair. 

“You had an idea?” 

“Yes. I have to go find everyone.” Xaden nearly runs out of his father’s office, in search of his friends. He found them all in the sparring room, Garrick and Liam on the mat with each other, while Bodhi, Sloane, and Imogen were off to the side making comments anytime one of them would actually get a hit in. 

“I need your help.” Xaden whispered, as he sat down next to Bodhi. His cousin was the best one who could help him with this plan. Well other than Liam, but he was busy at the moment.

“What’s wrong?” He whispered back.

“Nothing. I want to bake a chocolate cake for Violet for her birthday. And you know Ms. Andie won’t let me in the kitchens without you.” 

Ms. Andie was the head of the kitchen staff at Riorson House. She was an older woman and had been working there for as long as Xaden could remember. She was strict when it came to her kitchens, but loved all the children who were in Riorson House like they were her own grandchildren. Xaden and Garrick had both been banned from entering the kitchens after the two of them had broken into the kitchen after Ms. Andie had gone home for the day to sneak desserts that had been made for a feast the next day. She would only let them in if they had Bodhi with them since he was the more responsible of them. 

Bodhi nodded once. “Should we bring everyone?” 

Xaden debated for a few moments, this was his idea but they were all Violet’s friends too. Finally he nodded, confirming that he wanted everyone else there too. 

Xaden stood from beside Bodhi and walked towards the mat. Liam and Garrick were still sparing, but it was obvious they were tired at this point. They had just been going in circles, no one throwing a strike, for the last five minutes. 

“Alright you two. We have other things to do today.” Xaden says, as he steps in between them. 

“We do?” Garrick asked, a look of confusion flashing across his face. “We didn’t expect to see you until Violet was home.” It wasn’t quite a jeer at her name, but the inflection was there. Liam looked between the two of them, sensing that Garrick was about to start something. He turned and walked away, picking up his waterskin, before he could be dragged into it. 

Xaden stiffened, “You have something to say?”

“No man,” Garrick holds his hands up in surrender, “I just know if it was one of us out for the day, you wouldn’t be sulking around.”

“I do not sulk.” Xaden was defensive, he just wanted to spend as much time with his friend as he could. She was only here for a small amount of time.

“Whatever.” Garrick elbowed Xaden as he walked past him to grab the waterskin on the ground next to the mat. “Let me know when you wanna talk about your crush.”

“I do not have a crush.” Xaden crossed his arms as he glared at Garrick. 

“Okay. I believe you.” The smile on Garrick’s face showed that he didn’t believe him at all. “What are the plans then boss?” 

Xaden is quiet for a moment before he rolls his eyes and grumbles, “I want to bake Violet a cake for her birthday.” Garrick roared with laughter. 

“Sure buddy, you definitely don’t have a crush.” He clapped Xaden on the back and he walked towards where the rest of their friends were waiting. 

“You want to bake her a cake?” Liam asked between gulps of water. 

Xaden just shrugged, “I mean it’s her birthday, she deserves a cake.”

With the rest of the group in agreement, they all make their way towards the kitchen, Bodhi and Liam in the lead for once, with Imogen and Sloane behind them, and Garrick and Xaden in the very back. They had to be strategic when they asked Ms. Andie for help. 

She paused as they entered, staring at the group in appraisal and trying to ascertain why they were here. “To what do I owe the pleasure?” She asks, putting her hand on her hip. 

Xaden nudges his way to the front of the group, “Violet’s birthday is today.” He says matter-of-factly. 

“I’m aware, that's why we are having grilled cheese for dinner.” Ms. Andie had asked Violet to name whatever meal she wanted for her birthday dinner, anything at all, and she had chosen grilled cheese of all things.

“I- well, we- as in all of us,” He gestures towards the group, “Wanted to know if you would help us bake a cake for her.” He was suddenly nervous, what if Ms. Andie said no. What if she had already made one?

She raised a single eyebrow at the kids. She was going to bake a cake for Violet anyway, how could she not, it was her birthday, but if she could get them to do it for her, it would be one less thing she had to prepare for dinner. 

She nodded finally, “Alright, I’ll help you. But you have to listen to my instructions exactly. Do you understand?” The whole group nodded quickly. 

She had a feeling she was going to regret this.

An hour later, she was right. All six children were covered from head to toe in flour and her kitchen was a mess. Sloane and Liam both had chocolate frosting on them from when Liam had gotten too close to his sister and she’d flung the frosting she was mixing at him using her whisk, which he promptly returned the favor. Garrick had dried egg in his hair from when Imogen cracked one over his head. 

Xaden was barely talking to any of his friends. He wanted this to be perfect, and his friends were screwing around. 

Luckily, they were almost done. They were waiting another ten minutes for the cakes to completely cool before they could be frosted.

“Alright, you four,” She points to Garrick, Imogen, Liam, and Sloane, “Go wash up and start getting ready for dinner. Bodhi and Xaden will help me finish the cake.” She directed them to put their dirty aprons in the laundry chute prior to leaving and instructed them to head straight to their rooms so that they didn’t track flour all throughout the fortress. 

“Alright boys,” She claps her hands together as she turns to the cousins, “Bodhi, you get to do the frosting, Xaden you get to decorate, okay?” Both boys nod in agreement. 

She led Xaden over to a pantry off the kitchen, showing him her collection of decorations for desserts. She had a large collection of sprinkles, different piping tips for frosting, and dried edible flower petals for him to choose from. He gathers as many supplies as his arms can carry, heading back towards where Bodhi is heaving globs of chocolate frosting onto the cake. 

Xaden watched him as the frosting slowly covered every bit of the spongy cake under it and Ms. Andie helped to smooth it down, ensuring Xaden had an easier time decorating. 

When they were done, Ms. Andie turned to Xaden. “Where would you like to start?” 

He thought for a second, examining all of the supplies he had brought with him. “Can you help me write on it? Then I’ll decorate around it.”

She nods, showing him how to use the piping bags, and testing each of the tips to allow him to choose the design he wanted. 

Once he picked a style, she wrote the H and then he decided he wanted to do the rest, resulting in a shaky Appy Birthday on the top of the cake.

Adorning it with gold and silver star shaped sprinkles, and a little too much rainbow sprinkles, Xaden decided it was ready. 

Ms. Andie sent the two boys off to wash up, stating that the Sorrengails would be home soon and she needed to start dinner. 

Xaden doesn’t see her again until they are all sitting down for dinner. Everyone’s plate filled with a grilled cheese sandwich and a bowl of tomato soup. He glares over his soup as she and Dain sit next to each other, giggling and whispering to each other as they pour over a book Brennan had bought her while they were out in town. 

Gods above he needed to calm down. He knows he is being ridiculous. She was staying after they left, she would still be here. She should be able to spend time with her friend while he is here, but shit he missed her being around him everyday. 

Life was going to suck when she went home after the summer. 

“Violet.” He says finally, once he notices that she is almost finished with her dinner. Her eyes leave the book she is reading with Dain, meeting his, and giving him a wide smile.

“Hi Xaden.” His mood lifted immediately with her smile trained on him.

“”We uhh- We all made you something for your birthday.” He says, suddenly nervous that she won’t be happy with their gift.

“You did?” Her face lights up even more. She hadn’t really expected much from her new friends for her birthday, after all they hadn’t known her for a long time. 

He nods quickly as Ms. Andie brings her cake out and places it down in front of her. The kids all get up and surround her to take in the fruit of their labor. “We all helped with the baking, but I decorated.” He says, coming to stand between her chair and Dain’s chair, nudging Dain just a little further away from her. 

She turned her head upwards to smile at him. He may not have hit his growth spurt yet, but he was still two years older than she was, and standing up, so he was towering over her. “Thank you Xaden. It looks amazing.” 

His cheeks flushed slightly at her compliment. “You’re welcome.”

Later that night, not too long after his dad had sent him to bed, Xaden hears a knock at his door. He opens it to reveal Violet standing there, with a piece of cake in her hand and a book tucked under her arm. 

“It’s the last piece. Share it with me?” 

He gives her a wide smile, opening the door further to let her in. He pulls his big comforter off the bed, laying it on the ground and drags a few pillows to join them. They sit on the floor, the cake between them and her book clutched to her chest. 

“Okay,” she holds the book out for him to see, a joke book that her sister had given her years ago, “You make the other person laugh, you get a bite of cake.” 

“Deal.” 

When her father and Fen find them the next morning, still laying on his floor with the book open on his chest, the empty cake plate next to them, and her curled just slightly into him, they decide to let them both sleep in just a little longer. 

Chapter Text

“Xaden, I need your help.” She whispers to him in Tyrrish the next morning during breakfast. They’d woken up together, Violet slightly embarrassed at falling asleep on his floor. He reassured her though, that he didn’t mind and had enjoyed getting to spend time with her last night, before they promised to meet in the dining hall in a half hour. 

“What’s wrong?” He asks, as he sits down next to her. Dain had either already eaten or just hadn’t followed her down, either way, Xaden was going to take the opportunity to monopolize her attention. 

She smiles playfully, biting her lower lip as she shakes her head. “Nothing is wrong, I just need your help.” 

She pulls out the book that Brennan had given her for her birthday; A Tyrrish Guide to Flora and Fauna and sets it on the table between them. His eyebrows fly up in surprise, he doesn’t know shit about the plants in Tyrrendor. 

“I want to pull a prank on Dain, are you in?” Actually, Xaden will become a plant expert if it means he gets to mess with Dain a bit. He nods enthusiastically causing her to laugh at the eagerness. 

She flips through the book quickly, trying to find the page she thought she marked earlier before they can be interrupted. Her father would be so upset if he knew what she was planning. When she locates it, she shoves the book in front of Xaden and points eagerly at the page. 

It’s the entry for the Tyrrish Blue Bonnet flower, a vibrant blue wildflower that was often found in the forests and fields near Aretia. It was perfectly harmless, but if you crushed the petals of the flower and let it soak in water for an hour, the blue dye it created was so potent it would turn anything blue for ages. 

“I want to put it in his shampoo.” She giggles, the idea of Dain with blue hair for the next month sending her into a spiral of laughter. He smiles too, her laughter and happiness contagious. 

“Okay, I’m in. When do you wanna go find them?” 

“Right after breakfast. They leave tomorrow so we can’t take too long.” 

“Don’t worry Violence,” He gives her a crooked smile, the corner of his mouth lifting playfully, “I know exactly where we can find some.”

An hour later, after a carefully crafted excuse to Dain that Xaden was going to help her with a project her Father had her working on for her studies, they slip out the back door of the fortress. He takes her hand for the first time since her family came in, leading her towards his favorite spot in the whole world. 

His hill. 

It was a mostly ordinary hill, for all intents and purposes, but it had the most breathtaking view of Aretia and Xaden found himself drawn to the calmness it provided. He’d never brought anyone else up there, not his friends nor his father, but it felt right to share this space with her. 

Like she would understand the importance of a place like this. 

“This is a special place to me.” He says as they walk the trail to the hill. He’s nervous all of sudden to share this with her, he wants her to love it just as much as he does. 

“It is?” 

He nods slowly. “Yes. It’s… the one place I can just be Xaden. Not Xaden Riorson, Heir to Aretia.” And she is the one person he feels like he can just be Xaden with. Even his friends, there is a certain expectation that he will lead them and they will follow, but she doesn’t care about any of that. “No one else knows about it, but I want to share it with you.” 

She smiles so wide her cheeks hurt. “Thank you Xaden. Your secret is safe with me!” 

He returns her smile, knowing that his secret is safe with her. He trusts her wholly and completely, even if they haven’t known each other that long, in the grand scheme of things. 

As they crest the hill, he watches her face for her reaction. She doesn’t disappoint. Her jaw drops when she takes in the view and he knows he made the right decision to show it to her. 

It’s the perfect time of the year to visit. The hill is covered in the wildflowers of Aretia, blues, yellows, pinks, and oranges dot the hillside where they grow between the long grass, and the sun is warm above them. He feels a sense of rightness settle over him in that moment, his favorite place with one of his favorite people. 

“This is…” she trails off, the wonder still alive in her eyes. Her eyes continue to sweep the hillside, trying to take all of it in.

“I know,” is all he says. The first time he found it, he had the same reaction. He had been about her age when he first found his hill. His mother had just left and his father had to travel to Calldyr for the week. He was being watched by his Aunt, Bodhi’s mom, but had needed some time away from the house. It had been too much, he felt too alone, and needed to just… be. He wandered until he found the slightly hidden trail and had followed it, coming upon his hill. When he came back to the house hours later, his aunt had been worried sick about him, but he offered no explanation about where he was, only stating he had needed some time. 

He leads her over to where a tree fell a few years ago, now just a large log perfect for sitting, was laying and helping her up so they could sit together. They are silent for a while, her head coming to rest on his shoulder, as they just enjoy the peace of the hill. 

“Thank you for this.” She says eventually, her voice low and calm. 

“You’re welcome.” He sighs deeply, knowing that they need to get moving before people notice that they have been gone for too long. He shifts slightly and she raises her head. He jumps off the log and turns to her, holding out his arms so her can help her down. 

“Now,” His grin turns devious as he remembers why they came up here, “Let’s go find some flowers.” 

They spend the next fifteen minutes picking a handful of flowers before deciding they have pushed their luck in how long they have been gone. He leads her back towards the house, slipping back through the door they had used to leave the house. 

Xaden sneaks his way into the kitchen, grabbing a bowl and something to crush the petals with before meeting her back at her room. She opens the door, quickly pulling him inside. 

“We have to hurry, they went into town to get some candies we saw yesterday. They will be back soon.” 

They get to work quickly, pulling the petals free from the stems and crushing them in the bowl. They work silently, both of them with looks of intense concentration on their faces. Once they have the flowers crushed, they pour water in the bowl with the flowers and then settle in to wait an hour for the mixture to be ready. 

Xaden tells her stories of the different ways he, Garrick, and Bodhi had taken turns pranking each other. He tells her of the time Bodhi and him stole all the left shoes from Garrick, forcing him to walk around with one shoe for about two days before they gave them back. He tells her of the time Garrick and Bodhi placed a fish in his bathtub and he had to find a way to get it back to the river.

The laughs they share make everything worth it for him.

Later that night, after his shower, Xaden and Violet can barely contain their laughter when Dain emerges with bright blue hair. Neither of them confess, but they are exposed by the blue rims around their fingernails. The betrayed look Dain shoots her when he realizes she chose Xaden over him almost makes her feel bad, but the lecture they both receive from her parents and his father is enough to solidify that feeling. 

The first part of their punishment is them spending the rest of the evening in the library, researching ways to try and get the dye out of his hair. But they come up empty handed, knowing he will just have to wait for his hair to grow out naturally. 

The second part has them sacrificing their afternoons for the next week straight, “volunteering” with the house staff wherever they can be of the most help. 

He looks over at her a few days later, as they both scrub dishes from lunch. “This sucks,” he mutters.

She shrugs, a small smile playing at the corners of her mouth, “Yeah but… kinda worth it.” 

He smiles back, letting out a small laugh. “Am I always going to get in trouble around you?”

She shrugs, letting out a laugh of her own as the smile on her face gets a little wider. 

“Probably.”

He shakes his head, moving back to his dishes, but can’t help the smile on his face as he thinks about all the ways he and Violet can be smarter about their trouble in the future. 

Chapter Text

Violet’s last day in Aretia is a hard one for everyone. Xaden is on edge, Violet is on edge, and as a result, everyone in the fortress is walking on eggshells. Both children have a temper to rival a dragon’s and no one really wants to make either of them more upset than they already are. 

Their friends are trying to keep them distracted, suggesting games, sparring, even just sitting around the library, but neither of them are interested. Violet and her father are leaving in the early afternoon, eating lunch and then setting off to ensure they can travel for as long as possible before needing to eat again, and all Xaden wants to do is spend time with Violet.

When the two of them can finally slip away from their friends, he leads them back to their hillside. By this time in the year, most of the wildflowers have started to die and the grass is turning from green to the yellow-brown dead color from the scorching sun of summer and the impending coldness of winter. 

They sit in silence in the grass, their shoulders touching as they both just stare into the distance. Violet is playing with a strand of her hair while Xaden runs his hands through the long grass in front of them. 

“I don’t want you to leave.” Xaden says finally, his voice is low but she can hear him clearly. A sad smile graces her face as she turns away from Aretia in front of her to stare at the grass at her feet. 

“I don’t want to leave.” It shouldn’t bring Xaden comfort that she wants to stay here with him. 

“We’ll see each other again though, yeah?” 

She nods quickly, “Absolutely. I’m sure some stuffy nobles will get together for some reason that forces us into the same room.”

“You have to be forced into a room with me, Violet Sorrengail?” He teases her, bumping his shoulder into hers, knocking her slightly off balance, forcing her to throw her hands to her side to catch herself. 

She huffs out an exasperated laugh and swats at his chest, “Don’t be an ass, Xaden Riorson.” She’d changed a lot since she first got here, most notably, her vocabulary had expanded… colorfully. 

He throws his head back and laughs, the first happy sound he had made all day. Violet smiles at his laugh, it’s probably one of her favorite sounds in the whole world. 

“Fuck I’m gonna miss you.” His voice is soft again. He loved his home, his friends, everything really, but it would not be the same without her here. 

Garrick was, and always would be, his best friend, but his relationship with Violet felt… different. She was his best friend in a totally different way. It was like his world revolved around her. She said jump and he asked how high. Her smile was the brightest part of his day and everything around here is going to be just a little duller without her. 

“I’m gonna miss you too.” She replies. And she would. He was her best friend, totally and completely. Sure she had Dain, who she had known longer than anyone outside of her siblings, and she was sure they would still be best friends when she got home, it was different to what she had with Xaden. He let her be her. Climbing trees, playing, and maybe a little reckless when it came to her health, but he never limited her. Did he double check all her joints were wrapped before they scaled a tree? Yes. Did he try and talk her out of it like Dain sometimes would? Never. 

“You’ll write?” He’s almost nervous to ask. He doesn’t want to get his hopes up, but he thinks she will. He can’t imagine a world where he can’t talk with her in some way. He rubs absentmindedly at his chest, as if he can ease the ache that has already settled there when he thinks about her leaving. 

“Of course.” There’s nothing that would stand in the way of her talking to him, except for the distance that is about to be between them. 

They sit there for a while longer, her head coming to rest on his shoulder. They swap memories from the summer back and forth, recounting some of their favorite times together. Violet thanks him again for the cake on her birthday, she thinks it was one of the nicest things anyone has ever done for her. 

He picks her a single sunflower from the patch that is growing around them, tucking it into her hair behind her ear. They both startle as the clocktower in the city chimes, marking the time as mid-day. 

He lets out a sigh and stands, holding his hand out to her to help her up. “I suppose we should head back. It’ll be getting close to lunch.” 

She stands with his help and they walk back to the house, hand in hand, determined the make the most of their last few hours together for this summer.

~~~

In another part of the fortress, Asher and Fen are standing in Fen’s office as Asher prepares to leave. They are looking over the final plans that Asher laid out for the school year, ensuring that nothing was missed before they leave. 

They also have a secondary goal with their final meeting. They had agreed at the beginning of the summer that they would not confirm their respective child’s soulmark until the last day of their visit. The thought behind it was that they wanted to observe them together first without placing any unneeded expectations on their interactions. 

It was pretty obvious after watching the two of them together that even if they weren’t soulmates, they had a special relationship. It was rare to see one without the other and when they weren’t next to each other, it was like a force was pushing them together until they were side-by-side again. 

They had both hand drawn their child’s soulmark on a piece of parchment and folded it up. Asher reached out, offering his drawing to Fen, who did the same, and they swapped parchment.

“On 3?” Fen jokes, but Asher nodded still, agreeing to the deal. Fen counts them down, and they both open the parchment at the same time.

Asher’s eyes are wide with shock, even if he wasn't all that shocked, as he looks at a mark that is identical to the one on his daughter’s heart. His head snaps up to look at Fen, taking in his reaction.

He is still staring at the parchment in his hands, blinking back tears of happiness for his son. His son has met his soulmate, something he himself never got to do. His son would be happy and loved for years in a way that was perfect for him. 

“Sorry.” Fen says eventually, his voice cracking just a bit. “I know we always suspected, but the confirmation is almost overwhelming.” Asher nods, agreeing with the sentiment. He knew Xaden would take care of her and keep her safe forever. His precious daughter, built differently than the other children, would always be loved. She would never again know a life where someone didn’t love her.

“Do we tell them?” Asher asks, wondering how he was going to break the news to his wife. It would be hard for him to keep this secret from his own soulmate. He would though, for Violet. He wasn’t going to let his wife’s fears keep the two of them apart, especially not now that they were so attached.

Fen is silent for a moment, thinking hard about all the different avenues this could go, before he shakes his head. “They are only 10 and 12, maybe we give them a few more years. Let them be kids without the pressure to be more than that.” 

Asher is secretly happy that Fen says this, he doesn’t think he wants Violet to know yet. She may be smarter than any other 10 year old he’s ever met, but this could still be a little hard for her to wrap her head around. 

“When do we tell them?” Fen asks. It was his own suggestion to keep the information from both of them, but he’s glad that Asher agrees. It had lessened in the years since his mother left, but he had always had a certain fascination with soulmates. He thinks he would struggle to focus on anything else if he knew what Violet was to him. 

“When Violet is 18?” Her father suggests. It would give them their entire childhood to grow their own bond. “Unless they find out on their own?”

Fen chuckles, “I’m sure teenage hormones will prove our planning futile, but I agree, unless they find out themselves, we wait until she is 18.”

They both stand as the clocktower chimes, letting them know that they need to get moving. Asher needs to check on Violet, ensure she has all of her belongings ready to go so they can leave following lunch. 

“I’ll get her back here next summer again.” 

Fen nods, “She, and your family by extension, is always welcome.” 

They meet the kids in the dining room, a small smile on Asher’s face when he spots the sunflower still tucked into her hair. They all eat in relative silence, before heading to the courtyard where the fortress helpers are loading the carriage in preparation for them to leave. 

Fen bends down in front of Violet, bringing himself to her height. He holds out his arms, bringing her in for a hug. 

“Bye Duke Dad,” she says, a small giggle at her nickname for him even now that is in direct contradiction to the wetness he can see filling her eyes. He smoothes down her hair slightly, before giving her a gentle tap under the chin. 

“Don’t be too sad, Miss Violet. I’ll see you again soon,” he promises. 

She nods before turning to Xaden, all but throwing herself into his arms for a hug. He stands and walks over to the carriage, giving the two of them a few moments of privacy to say goodbye while he ensures they are fully ready to go. 

A few minutes later, Xaden is helping her into the carriage, fresh tear tracks on her face and unless his eyes are playing tricks on him, there’s even a few on Xaden’s face. She waves, leaning probably a little too far out the window, until they are out of sight.

Xaden lets out a loud sigh before turning and walking back into the house. Fen follows him closely, making sure he is okay. 

“Don’t worry, you’ll see her again soon,” he tries to reassure his son. 

“I know. I just miss her already.” His voice slightly dejected and there’s even a slower pace to his walk, even if no one except Fen would’ve noticed it. 

Fen nods, knowing that the next few days, if not the next few months are going to be hard on him until he can see her again. As they walk down the hallway, he’s already formulating all the different excuses he can make to get the two of them back together as quickly as possible.

Chapter Text

October 3rd 623 AU

Xaden,

Hi! I miss you. 

Things around here are boring. Brennan has been training extra hard with his conscription day coming up next year so I hardly see him anymore. Mira has been helping him, plus I think she thinks she’s too old to hang out with her little sister. Dain has been weird since we dyed his hair blue, though I’m hoping he gets over that soon. We only have a few more weeks of nice weather before we will be stuck inside for months. 

Does Aretia do anything special for Fall Harvest? The outposts don’t. It’s boring around here. 

I still miss you.

-Violet

October 27th 623 AU

V,

I miss you too.

I’m sorry the others are busy. I’m lucky that Garrick and Bodhi are always here. And that we are relatively the same age. 

Dain can get over the blue hair. He looked better that way in my opinion anyways.

We do. We have a giant bonfire at the house and everyone in the city is invited to eat and dance. It’s really fun. Maybe you could come sometime. I’d like that.

The leaves on the trees near the hill have all turned now, and most are bare. The winters get bad here quickly so it’ll probably snow soon. Dad says it’s because of the elevation in the mountains. You probably already knew that, you’re so smart.

You realize you said I miss you twice right? I get it though. I still miss you too. 

-X

November 15th 623 AU

Xaden,

That sounds like so much fun. I hope I get to visit someday for the festival, I’d like that too. 

Dain has finally stopped being weird with me. His hair was finally long enough for all the blue to be cut out, so I guess that means he forgives us. 

I bet the hill is beautiful surrounded by the oranges, yellows, and red of the fall leaves. That’s another thing I hope I get to see someday. 

I did know that! The geography of Tyrrendor was a big part of my studies this summer. The Cliffs of Dralor are so big that it raises the elevation of Tyrrendor thousands of feet above the rest of the continent. So even though it is the southernmost province, it is still the harshest in terms of winter weather.

Our weather here hasn’t been too bad yet, though I suspect mom keeps the temperature warmer than she should because she knows the cold makes my body hurt more. Her signet is storm wielding, isn’t that cool? We can always tell when she’s mad though, the temperature in the room drops until we are freezing.

If you were a rider, what would you want your signet to be?

I miss you x3.

-Violet

December 1st 623 AU

V,

See? Smart. I knew you would get it. 

If I could have any signet I think I would want to read minds so I would never have to study again. I could just read the teacher's mind and know the answers. I know it’s illegal though so maybe not. Maybe I could hide it? 

Did you get invited to King Tauri’s solstice celebration? I hope so. 

I miss you x4. (Is this how we are keeping track of the order of our letters now?)

-X

Violet is lying on a bench in King Tauri’s library, a book held in front of her face, blocking out the rest of the world. Based on his last letter, she expected Xaden to be here, but the Welcome Ball for the solstice celebration begins in two hours and there had been no sight of him. So she was hiding in the library, hoping nobody realized she was missing and would get out of attending the ball. 

The only other friends she had here, outside of her siblings, was Dain and Cam, the king’s youngest son. Dain had already been forced by his father to clean up and get ready for the ball, and Cam wasn’t attending due to being “too young”. Which was bullshit in her opinion, he was only a year younger than her and she had been attending these for years at this point. 

She’s in the middle of the penultimate chapter in her book, the heroine was moments away from finally defeating the evil that had spread across the land, when a hand is suddenly in her face, lifting the book away from her.

“Hey!” Her eyes narrow immediately on the offending figure above her. They lean into her space, blocking her vision field to just them, and her eyes meet gold-flecked onyx. 

“Hello Violence.” He smiles as her eyes widen, realizing who is standing in front of her. 

“Xaden!” Narrowly avoiding colliding their heads, she jumps from her position to throw her arms around his neck. His arms wrap around her waist, pulling her in close and dropping her book onto the couch. She buries her face into his neck and feels her world settle. 

She hadn’t realized how wrong she was constantly feeling until she was feeling right again. The deep sense of uncomfortable that had made its home in her bones is gone the instant she is hugging him. 

He lets out a deep breath, feeling the tension he didn’t realize he was holding throughout his entire body leave. His eyes slip closed, focusing entirely on the girl in his arms. Gods, he missed her.

She pulls away reluctantly, her hands staying on his shoulders. She was kneeling on the couch so that they were eye level with each other. “You’re late.” She accuses, raising one eyebrow as she stares at him. 

“A Duke is never late, everyone else is simply early.” He replies, his voice completely serious. His hands are steady on her waist as he keeps her level on the plush couch.

“But you aren’t the Duke.”

“Yet.” He mimicked the look on her face, raising a single eyebrow, daring her to challenge his words.

She huffs out an annoyed laugh as she pulls fully away from him. She rolls her eyes, “The ego I swear.” 

She stands from the couch, picking up her book and frowning when she realizes her place has been lost. She whines a bit, but flips through quickly finding her place, and sticking a small scrap of parchment in there to mark her spot.

He smiles and offers his hand to her, leading her out of the library. “Are you attending the ball?” He asks her as they walk towards the guest quarters. He doesn’t know where her family is staying exactly, but she can lead him to their front door. 

She nods, “Unfortunately. Are you?” She stops in front of one of the guest rooms, only a few doors down from his own. He marks this information away for later.

He nods as well and steals her words, “Unfortunately.”

They stand there in the hallway, smiling at each other for just a moment. “Find me after they serve dessert.” She says, giving his hand a quick squeeze and disappearing behind her door. 

Two hours later, Violet is sitting next to Dain at her family’s table. They had just finished dinner, a soft melodic tune filling the ballroom as they move to the final course, dessert. Her eyes wander the ballroom, skimming for even a glimpse of Xaden, but she’s too short to see over most of the adults around her. 

She drums her fingers impatiently against the table, waiting for the moment that she can slip away unnoticed. Her parents are caught in a rapt conversation with Dain’s father about something she couldn't care less about. Mira and Brennan are discussing the latest hand-to-hand lesson they had together.

“What's wrong?” Dain whispers to her in Old Lucarish, the language they frequently used to communicate without being understood by others. He leans in close, blocking out the noise from the rest of the table as he checks on his friend.

She shrugs off his concerns, not bothering to reply as she scans the room. She spots him then, finally, leaning up against the wall, a piece of cake in hand. Their eyes meet and a slow beautiful smile spreads across his face. He cocks his head towards the balcony doors next to him and she nods, letting him know she would be there. 

She turns towards Dain, “Cover for me?” she whispers. His eyes scan the room, finding Xaden against the wall, and turns back to his best friend. He doesn’t particularly like Xaden, he doesn’t hate him by any means, but he definitely isn’t trying to be best friends with the guy. But Violet is Dain’s best friend and he wants her to be happy, so he nods. 

He runs his hands through his hair absentmindedly, his mind going back to when the two of them turned his hair blue. His father had been furious, but Dain had found it funny. It had forced him into a weird space with Violet due to his father claiming she was a “bad influence” on him. 

“Go on then.” He waves his hand, telling her to scurry along . She gives him a wide smile as she slides off the chair, giving him a quick pat on the shoulder as she lets the crowd around the table hide her movements. 

Xaden startles slightly when she appears next to him, but recovers quickly, smiling down at her. He leads her out onto the balcony, the winter chill on their skin cooling the heat of the crowded room. He hands her the spare fork he had grabbed, setting the cake on the bench between them where they sit. 

She smiles as she takes a bite, thinking about the last time they ate cake together. “It’s good, not as good as the one you made me, but still good.” 

He returns the smile, “Nothing will ever compare to Tyrrish Chocolate Cake.” He holds up the plate to offer her the last bite, but she shakes her head letting him have it. He takes it happily, setting the empty plate on the side before he turns back to her. 

He studies her face as she stares out into the kingdom, the soft glow from the city below them illuminating half her face. She hadn’t changed much in the four months since he last saw her, her hair maybe a little longer and her skin slightly paler from being inside more often in the cooler weather.

Her hair tonight hung loose down her back, the sides pulled back into a small ponytail to keep the majority of it out of her face. The silver ends of her hair, a stark contrast to the maroon velvet dress she's wearing, are one of his favorite parts of her.

“Do you know much about the stars?” She asks, breaking him of his study of her face. He tears his gaze from the side of her face, turning to look at the sky. The lights from the city are too bright where they are, only a few stars visible in the sky. 

“Not really, no.” He knows that she does though, she knows everything he thinks. He’d tried to sit in on one of her lessons over the summer and left with a headache and having learned nothing. “Tell me about them?” 

She smiles, a corner of her mouth lifting as she continues to stare at the sky. “See that bright one right there?” He nods, humming a confirmation as his eyes follow where she points. “That’s Polaris, the North Star. It’s used a lot in navigation as it sits directly over the northern most part of our world.”

“So that’s how dragons never get lost.” 

“Something like that.” She laughs out, leaning slightly into his side to try and soak up some of his body heat. The cool air that had been so refreshing when they first got out here had begun to creep into her joints, chilling her to the core. 

He’s seconds from offering her his coat, remembering what she had said in a letter about the cold making it harder on her joints when a voice calls out behind them, causing them both to turn and look in the doorway. 

Mira stands there, a judgmental look on her face as she flicks her gaze between the two of them. 

“Mom’s looking for you. Says she wants you and Dain to head back upstairs. It’s getting late.” Mira finally says, her voice tense. Clearly she hasn’t decided if Xaden is a threat against her little sister yet or not. 

Violet sighs, deciding the fight with her sister wasn't worth it, and stands from the bench. 

“I'll see you tomorrow, yeah?” He murmurs, capturing her wrist in his hand before she can walk too far away. 

Tomorrow was Solstice, and while the mornings were usually reserved for close family, the afternoons, especially in King Tauri’s castle, were for the party and friends. He wanted to spend that time with her, needing to take advantage of the next few days when they would be in the same place.

She smiles and nods, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear with her free hand. “Tomorrow.” She confirms, and he lets go of her wrist watching her passing in front of her sister, who gives him a weird look, before she too turns to follow Violet, leaving him alone. 

The next three days pass by in a blur of parties and laughter and little moments between the two. Anyone who doesn’t already know that the two share a soulmate mark might think it a close friendship, but the ones who do, Asher and Fen, notice how their eyes are constantly finding each other from across the room, as if they can’t help but seek the other out. 

And at the end of the celebrations, when Xaden releases her from a tight hug so her family can begin their journey back to their current outpost, both kids ignore the ache in their chest that seems to settle in the moment they are apart. 

Chapter Text

January 13th 624 AU

V,

I hope you get to come visit this summer again. It’s just not the same here without you. 

Garrick’s hugs just aren’t as good as yours.

I miss you x5

X

January 28th 624 AU

Xaden,

Don’t worry, I have a plan. 

We just have to hope it works. 

Don’t be rude towards Garrick, he works hard on those hugs. Although I do think Liam gives better than him, so maybe try there next. 

I think yours are also my favorite.

I miss you x6

Violet

She begins asking in February.

The entire Sorrengail family is sitting around the dinner table, the room quiet outside of the spoons clanking on the sides of bowls as they eat. Violet glances around the room, taking in the faces of both her parents. Her dad would be easy to convince, she thinks, but her mom…

Be Brave . 

“Can I go to Aretia?” Every head at the dinner table looks in her direction, everyone’s face just a little shocked. Dinner in their household was mainly a quiet affair, outside of when they would update each other on their day at the beginning of the meal. The only time any further conversation would happen would be whenever their mother was letting them know they had to move outposts. 

“Excuse me?” Her mother asks, gently setting her spoon down so she can give her daughter her full attention. 

“Can I go to Aretia?” She repeats, just a little oblivious to the looks her family is giving her. She scoops up another spoonful of her stew before, blowing on it gently before she lifts her eyes to glance around her. She finally notices the looks on her family’s faces. Her brother and sister share a mix of shock and apprehension. Her mother, just a little confused. And her father, well… he just smiles as he takes another spoonful of food, grinning like he is the only one on the inside of a joke. 

“Right now?” Her mother’s face shifts into the calculated look she always gives when she is trying to figure out the angle someone is asking from. Violet has seen it directed at others all the time, usually one of the other leaders in the army asking for her opinion on some outpost or another. She’s even seen it directed at her brother and sister as they have gotten older and more outspoken. 

Violet scoffs and rolls her eyes. “No, not right now. This summer. Like last year.” 

Lilith’s eyes narrow, just a bit, “Roll your eyes at me again and the answer will be no.” 

She shrinks in her chair just slightly, dropping her eyes to the table. “Yes ma’am,” she murmurs.

Her mother appraises her again for just a moment before returning her to own food. Violet watches as she takes a few bites, but she knows the conversation isn’t over yet. She picks up her spoon, trying to keep her hand steady as she prepares for the inevitable interrogation. 

Her mother finishes her food, wiping her face with her napkin before she turns back to Violet. “Why do you want to go?”

Violet is silent for just a moment as she maintains eye contact with her mother. She resists the urge to look to her father for help, this is between her and her mother. Just… with an audience. 

“I have friends there.” Mira coughs under her breath, trying to cover up her surprise that Violet thought that was a good enough reason. 

Her mother’s eyebrows raise, hitting her hairline. “You have friends here,” she counters. Violet barely restrains another eyeroll, remembering her mother’s earlier declaration. 

“I have Dain here.” 

“Is he not a friend?” Violet sees these questions for what they are, her mother wanting to ensure that Violet had a real reason for wanting to go.

Violet sighs, “He is, but they are just… different.” 

“Hmm…” Her mother stares at her still, “Anything else?”

“Well…” She does look at her father this time as he gives her an encouraging smile. She nods, sitting up a little straighter in her seat. “I learned a lot there too. My education in history and geography expanded greatly, as well as becoming fluent in Tyrrish.” 

Her mother smiles then, “The true mark of a scribe, the never ending pursuit of knowledge.” 

Violet gives her a small smile in return, hoping it was enough for her mother to let her go. She holds herself up as straight as she can, trying to convey as much confidence as she can. Her mother only responded to strength. 

“We’ll be there in a few weeks, ask me again after the boy’s birthday.” She gets up from the table then, gathering her dishes from in front of her and heading towards the kitchen. Her dad follows, but not before shooting Violet a smile.

Once she leaves the room, Violet lets out a loud breath, leaning back in her chair. Any time she had to ask her mother for anything, she always felt like the energy had been drained from her body after. 

“Do you have a death wish?” Mira asks her, finishing her own bowl of stew. “Asking her something like that during dinner of all times?”

“It was important, you would’ve done the same thing.” She had hoped that her mother saw her asking in front of everyone as a sign of how important this was to her. 

Mira shrugged, smirking at her little sister. “I would’ve gotten her to say yes the first time.”

~~~

Determined to get her to say yes, Violet asks her immediately following Xaden’s birthday. They haven’t even left Tyrrendor yet, but it’s the first day of April which makes it officially after his birthday. 

She finds her mother and Fen in his office discussing, well something, Violet can’t hear the discussion through the barely open crack in the door. She waits, sitting on the floor outside his office with Xaden, until they are done with their conversation. She may be eager to ask again, but she isn’t so eager to disrupt an important meeting. 

She and Xaden are on the floor, leaning against the wall on opposite sides of the hall as they toss a crumpled piece of parchment back and forth between them. They aren’t talking, trying to keep quiet so as to not disrupt the meeting, but they are keeping an unofficial score of how many times each of them drop it. 

When the door finally creaks open, she scrambles to her feet, momentarily forgetting about her game even if it does mean that Xaden is now winning. She smiles at Fen when he opens the door, standing out of the way to keep it open for her mother to pass through. 

“Hello Miss Violet,” he says, returning her smile. 

“Hi Duke D-” She catches herself before the nickname can slip out, knowing her mother would not approve of the casual manner she addresses him. “Duke Riorson.” She nods her head in a small bow. 

“Violet.” Her mother gives her a curious look, “Can we help you?” 

“I just, uhh, wanted to talk to you. So I was waiting.” She tries to convey confidence in her voice, but she can hear her voice wobble just a bit as she keeps her eyes on her mother. 

Fen, clearly picking up on Violet’s nerves, gets Xaden to follow him down the hall after Violet promises to find him in the sparring gym when she’s done. Her mother, eyes slightly narrowed on the two children as she watches the exchange, turns to Violet. 

“What would you like to talk about?”

Violet’s hands clasp in front of her, her fingers idly twisting as she works through her nerves. “You told me to ask you again after Xaden’s birthday… It’s technically after.” 

Her mother extends a hand in front of her, indicating to Violet to ask her question. She takes a deep breath, meeting her mother’s eyes before she speaks. “Can I go to Aretia this summer?”

Her mother smiles, “Of course you can. Your father has already arranged for some work here for the summer.” 

The truth of the matter was that her mother was always going to say yes to her. She tried not to say no to her children, if they had a reason for what they wanted. She knew her lifestyle, moving from outpost to outpost, was hard on them and if there was something she could do to make their lives easier, she tried to do it. 

She didn’t want them to grow up spoiled though, so they had to be able to explain why they wanted or needed something. 

And Lilith had seen the changes in her youngest after her first summer here. She was more confident, a little more sure of herself and who she was. And if the friends she made here were the reason for that, her mother would be more than happy to let her come each year. 

“Really?” Violet’s nose scrunched in confusion as she looked at her mother. “It was that easy?”

She nods, “The only reason you didn't get a yes immediately is because your father had to ensure he could be assigned out here for the summer again.” 

A weight Violet hadn’t even known was on her shoulders is lifted at her mother’s words. She gets to spend another summer with her friends, another summer of fun and freedom. Another summer in Aretia. 

She throws her hands up in celebration, running down the hall to find Xaden and tell him the good news. She only gets about half way down the hall before she skids to a halt. She spins quickly, running back to her mother. She throws her arms around her in a hug, holding on as tight as she can. 

“Thank you, thank you, thank you!” she chants over and over. Her mother lets out a small huff of a laugh, more than Violet has ever heard from her she thinks, as her mother smooths down her hair. 

“Go. See your friends,” she tells her, gently prying her arms off of her. She smiles wide, nodding quickly as she takes off back down the hallway making her way towards the sparring gym. 

She pauses directly in front of the doors to the gym, taking a deep breath. She walks in calmly, the very picture of nonchalance. Every head turns to look at her when she walks in, all of her friends excited to see her. 

Bodhi, Garrick, and Liam are on the mats, Garrick and Bodhi showing Liam some new ways of blocking an attacker. Sloane and Imogen are in the corner, a deck of cards between them as they trade gossip from the schools. Xaden was sitting on the floor, a little ways away from all of them, just watching the room. 

He smiles when she walks in and she makes her way over to him. She sits down next to him, close enough that no one else would be able to hear their conversation. He nudges her slightly with his shoulder, “Everything okay?”

She hadn’t told him what she needed to talk to her mother about, she hadn’t wanted to get his hopes up in case her mother really did say no. 

She nods, giving him a small smile, “I had to talk to her about my summer plans.” 

“Oh yeah? And what might those be?” 

Her smile gets wider. “Oh nothing too crazy,” she teases, “Just a few months in Aretia.” 

His smile matches hers as he throws an arm around her shoulders, pulling her in close. She giggles, his own laugh of joy infectious. 

“Best birthday present I got this year I think.” 

His voice is lighter than it had been in months as if the knowledge that he will get to spend everyday with her for an entire summer has given him new energy. He knows she will be leaving tomorrow when they head back to her mother’s latest outpost, but knowing she will be back in only a few weeks somehow makes the goodbye feel more like a see you later. 

Chapter Text

Her second summer in Aretia is similar to her first, lessons and scribe training in the morning, spending time with her friends in the afternoons. This year though, there is another year of friendship between her friends and her. 

This year there are sleepovers with Imogen and Sloane on the weekends, reading with Bodhi under the big tree in the garden, card games with Liam and Garrick, and endless moments with Xaden. The two of them were constantly sneaking away; spending time in the branches of her favorite trees, sitting on their hill and letting the breeze ruffle their hair as they shared their secrets, and their feet dangling off the bank of the river on the hotter days. 

It was endless laughs and joy and sunshine. 

Today though, today was different. Asher was withdrawn and anxious, if his constant pacing was any indication of his mood. Violet wasn’t faring much better, she’d been let out of her lessons early after both father and daughter had yelled at each other. 

And now, no one knew where she was. 

Well, Xaden did. Or at least he heavily suspected. He saw her slip out of the back door in the direction of the hill about an hour ago after her dad finally called it quits on lessons. She had stomped through the house and nearly ripped poor Liam’s head off when he offered to come with her. 

He gives her an hour before he follows her out, walking up the short path that would bring him to the hillside that looked out over the city. He figures an hour is long enough for her to calm down and not take his head off when he shows up. 

He finds her sitting there in the middle of the grass, her knees drawn to her chest, her arms wrapped around them and her chin resting on her knees as she stares out into the horizon. He’s quiet as he approaches her, sitting down next to her silently. 

Her eyes slide to look at him briefly before she resumes staring out at nothing in particular. 

They stay like that for a while, just sitting in silence enjoying the steady presence of each other. He gives her space to talk when she’s ready and even if she doesn’t, hopefully him just being here will help. 

“Do you think he made it?” She whispers eventually, her words so quiet he almost missed them over the sounds of the birds in the trees around them. 

“Did who make what?” 

She rolls her eyes, the hard anxious glint in them returning with ferocity. “Brennan. The parapet. Do you think he made it?”

He’s silent for a moment as all the pieces fall into place. July 15th. Conscription day at Basgiath and Brennan was entering the rider’s quadrant. It certainly explained why both Sorrengails seemed to be in a bad mood today. 

“I don’t think he made it,” She cuts him a hard glare, “I know he made it.” Her eyes slip shut as she raises her face towards the sky, the early afternoon sun warming her cheeks. He watches as a single tear slips from her eye. 

“How are you so sure?” Her eyes are still closed, her voice just a little shaky as she tries to control her urge to cry. 

He smiles, moving to sit in front of her and reaching out to grab one of her hands that are still tightly wound around her legs. Her hands are gripping her arms so tightly, her knuckles are practically white. He gently extracts one of her hands, her knees falling to the side now that they are no longer braced by her arms. 

“Well for one,” he starts as he gently starts to work the tension from her hands. His thumbs dig gently into her palm, creating slow circles as her hand relaxes bit by bit, a trick he learned from his sparring coaches when his hands would stiffen up after training, “He’s been training for this his whole life, he’s more than ready.” 

She nods, agreeing with his point. He drops her hand, holding out his hands for her other one. She places it in his, a small smile tugging at the corner of her mouth as she watches him work. 

“Second,” He continues, “You Sorrengail’s are stubborn as shit. He would never let a silly stone bridge be the reason he dies.” 

She huffs out a barely-there laugh, but he takes it as a win. 

“And thirdly,” He drops her hands, and she lifts her eyes to meet his, “He would never ever leave you behind.” 

She drops her eyes, staring down at her hands, her thumb continuing the tight circles he had drawn on her palms. She lets out a shaky breath, closing her eyes as the breeze gently ruffles her hair. 

“I’m just so scared,” she admits to him finally. 

“I know.” 

They are silent again, her just staring at her hands and him just staring at her. Her face has relaxed since he came out, but he can still see the worry on her face, the crease between her eyebrows still prominent. 

“Are you ready to go back?” He asks her, knowing that her dad is going to start getting worried soon, if he wasn’t already. She’d been gone for an hour before he came out here and who knows how much time has passed since. 

“Can we just wait a little bit more?” 

He nods, moving back to her side. He lays back in the grass using his hands as a pillow beneath his head. She lays down next to him resting her head on one of his biceps as they both stare up at the blue sky. The warmth of him next to her settled her anxiety from the bone-deep pounding to just a low hum. 

“This sucks. I don’t know how I’m supposed to do this again in three years when Mira does it.” 

“Oh I’m even less worried about her than I am Brennan. There’s no way she goes down to the parapet, she’d sooner beat up the parapet before she falls off of it.”

Violet laughs again, a real laugh this time. “Something tells me she can’t beat that one into submission.” 

He chuckles, “I suppose not.” 

They are silent again, watching as the clouds roll by above them. He closes his eyes, letting the warm summer sun soak into his skin. 

“Does it make me a bad person if I say I’m glad your father won’t let you be a rider?” She asks, her voice a little soft as if she doesn’t want to hurt his feelings. “I know it’s your dream but…”

“I get it Violence.” 

They lay in silence for a while longer, until her stomach rumbles loudly, letting them know that they have been out here too long. They both laugh at the sound and slowly sit up. 

“I guess we should go back,” Xaden says, standing and offering a hand out to help her up. 

“And I should probably apologize to Liam.” She looks a bit sheepish as she laces her fingers with his and lets him lead her back towards the house. 

Xaden laughs, “Yeah I think you made him cry.” 

She looks horrified as they approach the house. They part when they enter the house, him promising to find her in a half hour with lunch while she looks for Liam and her father to apologize.

“Everything okay?” He asks her when she meets him in the dining room just a little later.

She nods, reaching eagerly for the sandwich he places in front of her. She lifts the corner of the sandwich, a small smile tugging at the corner of her mouth when she sees he remembered exactly how she likes them. “I have to do double lessons one of these days to make up for missing today. And I told Liam we would do a whole group sleepover this weekend to make it up to him.” 

“The whole group?” He clarifies, grimacing a little. It’s not that he doesn’t want to spend time with his friends but a group sleepover is… a lot.

“The whole group.” 

Xaden watches her as she finishes her food, noticing that she is in a considerably better mood than she had been prior to him meeting her on the hill. A wave of warmth washes over him at the thought that he had been able to make his friend feel better and he knows he would do anything to keep her happy.

Chapter Text

A group sleepover consisted of mainly two things. One being that everyone would gather in Xaden’s room for the entire night, Garrick attempting to construct a more elaborate blanket and pillow fort than was made last time. It was snacks, and laughter, and scary stories until way too late at night. 

The second was that the girls would gently strong-arm the boys into doing what they wanted to do. The boys may have outnumbered the girls, but Xaden would do anything that would make Violet happy and Liam could barely say no to Sloane, so it was never a surprise when the boys' fingernails were painted a new color after a sleepover. 

Group sleepovers were sacred, saved for important moments such as the first and last week of the summer. The rest of the group would hold them more often, but Xaden had the only room that could comfortably fit them all and he hated the mess that was left behind. So he was picky when he would let them stay. 

Violet, Bodhi, and Garrick all lived in the house already, so it wasn’t like it was hard for them to organize something, but getting Liam, Sloane, and Imogen all organized was harder. But when they were able to, it was always a memorable night. 

Tonight as it’s beginning to get late; Violet, Sloane, Imogen, and Bodhi are huddled under a blanket watching as the other three set up for story time. They took turns, designating someone as the story teller that night. It was usually one of the last things they would do during the night, especially as Violet and Sloane would fall asleep during the story more often than not. 

It was Garrick’s turn to tell the story, meaning it was going to be a production. He both took it more serious than it needed to be and not serious enough. He forced the others to hold mage lights in front of his face for dramatic flair, had different voices for each character, and actively encouraged audience participation. 

Tonight, Violet had presented him with a new book to read out of, The Fables Of The Barren . It was her favorite book of stories, her dad reading it to her almost every night. Her dad never let her take it out of their home, but she figured her friends would like it, and had snuck it into her belongings. 

The four of them under the blanket wait patiently, watching as he flips through the pages trying to find a story that interests him. Xaden and Liam both holding onto mage lights, knowing that they would be required eventually. 

“Ah-ha!” he says, standing up quickly. “This one is perfect.” He moves to the front of the room, setting the book down on the floor in front of him. He walks over to Xaden, placing both hands on his shoulders as he gently manhandles him into position, before turning and doing the same to Liam. 

Garrick picks back up the book, clearing his throat as he lowers his voice and begins to read. 

“A long time ago, in a land long since abandoned, there lived three brothers. The world they lived in was harsh, the government strict and resources were scarce. 

The oldest brother worked hard to take care of his brothers, working long hours in a neighboring village in the blacksmith workshop. He came home tired everyday, the middle brother having prepared a dinner for him, before he fell into bed. But he had a temper, and both brothers knew to stay clear of him when he was angry. 

The middle brother also worked hard, but he kept the house running. He ensured their clothes were always clean, the food was prepared, and the fireplaces roaring. He kept the peace between the brothers when the oldest would get upset.

The youngest brother was a bright spot in both of their lives. He was kind in a world that destroyed kindness and happy in a dreary world. He did not want for much, his older brothers taking care of him, but he knew their sacrifice was great and was thankful for all they gave. 

One day, while taking a walk in the nearby forest, the youngest brother met a woman, and she was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. He immediately fell in love with her, her beauty, her smile, everything. It was like she was made for him. She, in return, fell just as quickly. 

Unbeknownst to the youngest brother, the woman had already been promised to the oldest brother for she was the daughter of the blacksmith he worked for. 

In a fit of jealous rage, the oldest brother went to the dragons, asking for their help in killing his youngest brother. While they admired his ruthlessness and lethality, they refused due to citing the youngest brother's soulmate bond being too sacred to destroy. 

The oldest brother was confused as soulmates did not exist in the world. Angry at the rejection, he returned home and the two brothers met in a flurry of words and fists. Afterwards, the oldest brother left the house, not returning for many weeks.

The middle brother, in an attempt to find his brother, approached the Gryphons, for they were known for their speed on the ground and tracking skills. They agreed, and thus the bond between humans and Gryphons was born. 

The youngest brother, wanting to help his middle brother and protect his newly pregnant wife, also approached the dragons. They agreed to bond this time, his intentions in regards for their assistance noble and true, and thus the bond between humans and dragons was born. 

Together, the two brothers set off across the land, searching high and low for their oldest brother. They checked the mountains and the valleys, the plains and the fields, looking for any sign of him. 

When they finally did find him, his rage and jealousy at the new bonds now forged between creatures and brothers, he fell to the ground, his hands splayed wide as he took and took what did not belong to him. 

As his anger exploded around him, he only saw red eliminating everything, and everyone, around him. He looked up as his anger dimmed, the power lessened in his body as he used it, and saw the horrors he inflicted. Both his brothers lay in front of him, dead. 

In an effort to atone for his sins, he presented himself to the dragons for judgement. He braced himself as the dragon’s tongue curled, the fire racing up its throat. Instead of the pain of death, the pain flared in his chest. 

He looked down as the pain subsided, the fresh black mark etched into his skin right above his heart. In confusion, he looked towards the dragon. 

This was the soulmate mark, the first of its kind, but the magic in the land would bring one to every human. His punishment for his crimes against his brothers was to spend the rest of his life knowing that any woman he loved would never be his perfect match. 

And so he did, the power he stole extended his life longer than any human should have lived, always knowing that he would never get what he craved most in the world, love.”

When Garrick looked up from the story, Violet and Sloane were both asleep. Imogen looked as if she was not far behind, if her drooping eyes were any indication. Closing the book, he sets it to the side, before settling into their makeshift beds with the rest of their friends. 

He glances at Xaden as he settles, raising a single eyebrow when Xaden moves to his actual bed. 

“You’re not going to join us?” he whispers, tucking the blanket up around him as he lays beside Bodhi. He watches as Liam settles on Violet’s other side, a small smile on his face as he sees his little sister curled up against one of his closest friends. 

Xaden’s eyes shift between his friends on the floor and his bed. “Fuck that,” he whispers back, “I have a real bed right here, I’ll see you in the morning.” Garrick rolls his eyes but lays down, pulling the blankets up around him. 

Xaden watches for a few moments as sleep takes all his friends, before he stands, tapping each of the mage lights to turn them off for the night, before he settles in for sleep himself. 

When he wakes again, it’s still dark in his room, his eyes still heavy with sleep. He blinks rapidly, trying to make sense of why he is awake. 

“Xaden…” His eyes snap to the side of his bed where Violet is kneeling, her hand stretched out from where she had shaken him awake. Her eyes are wide, and a little wild, as she searches his face. 

“Are you okay?” he whispers, searching her face.

She bites her lip, hesitating for just a moment, before she shakes her head. “I had a nightmare. Can I… lay with you?” 

He nods immediately, lifting the edge of his blanket so she can crawl under. They both turn on their sides, hands tucking under their head as they stare at each other. 

“Do you want to talk about it?” His voice is low, trying to not wake up everyone else. 

“It was just… stuff from the story I think.”

Xaden scoffs, “I knew Garrick should’ve picked a different story.” 

The boy in question lets out a loud snore from his place on the ground, like he knew they were talking about him. The two of them lock eyes at the noise, their hands coming to cover their mouths as they try to suppress their giggles. 

“Tell me about it,” he says, hoping she can get some relief from the dream if she talks about it out loud.

“I don’t remember a lot of it now. I just remember Venin, dragons, soulmates…” her voice trails off, shrugging slightly as she stares into his eyes. The warmth and care she can see there settling the residual adrenaline from the nightmare. 

“Soulmates are a good thing though?” His face scrunches in confusion. 

“I… I guess so,” she agrees half-heartedly. 

“You don’t think so?”

She lets out a small sigh, “I have… lots of feelings about it. Everyone here is understanding of when I need a break but not everyone I’ve met is… what if my soulmate isn’t? I don’t think I want to know that answer.” 

Xaden is silent as he takes in her words. Her words make him sad, it contradicts everything his mother ever told him about soulmates. A soulmate should love you no matter what, for they would understand you to your core. He can’t imagine someone not loving Violet, his best friend’s soulmate would be lucky to have her.

“Well,” he says finally, “If they don’t love you how you are, then they are a fool.”

Her cheeks blaze scarlet, not that he can see in the darkness of his room. She gives him a small smile that he quickly returns. 

“Thank you,” she whispers. 

He nods once, feeling his eyes begin to close again. “And don’t you worry, I’ll keep you safe from Venin.” 

She doesn’t respond, her own eyes closed again already as she settles next to him. He falls back asleep, a smile on his face as he is surrounded by all of his favorite people. As much as he complains when his friends come and make a mess of his space, he can’t imagine a better way to spend an evening. 

Chapter Text

They meet Catriona Cordella in Violet’s 3rd summer, when Xaden is fourteen and Violet is twelve. Her uncle, Viscount Tecarus, had been relentless in his letters to Fen asking for him to introduce Xaden and Catriona. No matter how many times Fen had told him that he was not interested in a political marriage for Xaden, that they were waiting for his soulmate, the Viscount was determined to get them in the same room. 

Fen finally relents, hoping that a No directly to the Viscount’s face would send the message better than his ignored letters had been. 

That’s how Xaden finds himself standing in the sweltering August heat beside his father, greeting Tecarus and his niece when they arrive. 

“Remind me again why they are here?” Xaden asks his father. His eyes slide to look at the side of the courtyard where Violet, Bodhi, and Garrick were waiting. They didn’t have to greet the guests, but they had promised to wait for him before heading to the river. Garrick having recently decided himself, without asking his parents, that he was allowed to keep a pet frog so they had promised him they would help him catch one. 

Fen sighs, staring out into the distance where he can see the Viscount’s entourage getting ever closer to the fortress. He tries not to lie to his son when he can help it, even about political matters that the assembly probably doesn’t want a 14 year old knowing. Some things though, like the threat of the Venin, he tried to keep from him, hoping to preserve as much of his innocence as possible.

“The Viscount wants you to meet his niece, see what you think of her.” He chooses his words carefully. Xaden is smart enough to figure out exactly why he wants them to meet, well aware of some of the less desirable aspects of his parents' own marriage, but he’s not trying to upset him before they get here and start the whole meeting off poorly. 

A brief flash of annoyance crosses Xaden’s face and Fen knows that Xaden knows the real reason they are here. It’s not the first time some noble has tried to marry their daughter off to him, they just usually understand the word No the first time it’s said. 

Fen knows that they are the outlier in this situation, caring more for Xaden to find his soulmate than the political ramifications of marrying within the noble lines. 

“Dad…” he tries to protest. He didn’t really think his dad would betroth him to someone who wasn’t his soulmate, but just in case…

“Just play nice for the few days they are here, include her with your friends. You know I wouldn’t do that to you.” Xaden opens his mouth to protest again, but shuts it quickly with the look his father gives him. He barely resists rolling his eyes at his father as Tecarus and Catriona pull up to the house. 

Xaden stands at attention, the way his father always taught him, watching and assessing the pair as they approach him and his father. Tecarus approaches first, the gems of his rings glittering in the sun, with his niece close behind him. She stares at Xaden, her eyes narrowed slightly as she tries to get a read on him. 

“Fen!” Tecarus greets cheerfully, opening his arms to pull him in for a hug like they are long lost friends. “And you must be Xaden!” He sweeps him into his arms as well, Xaden’s eyes briefly widening in panic. He makes eye contact with Violet from over Tecarus’s shoulder, the man having bent down considerably, and she tries to hide a laugh at his obvious discomfort. 

He was so going to push her into the river for that. 

Tecarus pulls away, gesturing quickly to his niece, “This is my lovely Catriona.”

She curtseys towards them, bowing her head in a show of respect, “Please, call me Cat, Your Grace.” 

She extends her hand, Xaden staring at it in confusion for just a moment before his dad cleared his throat. His dad just lets out a sigh as Xaden ignores her hand, before he turns back to Tecarus. She drops it slowly, her eyes narrowing on Xaden with fire behind them at the unintentional insult. 

He tries to stay engaged in… whatever conversation the adults are having, he really does. But Cat is staring at him like he kicked her puppy, her lower lip jutting out in a slight pout, and he can’t help that he feels a little guilty. It’s not her fault that her uncle dragged her here under false hope.

He lets his eyes drift over Cat’s shoulder to where his friends wait, or where they had been waiting. The last time he saw them, they had been leaning against the outer wall, patiently standing until he was released from his duties, but they’d shifted since he last saw them. 

And they were clearly determined to get him in trouble. 

Instead of waiting nicely, the three of them had moved closer, clearly in an attempt to eavesdrop on the conversation between his father and Tecarus. He makes eye contact with Bodhi, who shoots him a wink and puts his finger to his lips, clearly telling Xaden to not give them away. 

He watches as Garrick’s hands wrap around Violet’s waist, ignoring the twisting feeling deep in his stomach at the very idea of someone touching her, and lifts her towards the lowest branch on the tree closest to them. The tree itself was bad for climbing, most of the limbs thin and unable to support the weight of most people, but Violet with her petite stature, could climb it with ease. 

She shuffles carefully, ever closer so she can hear the conversation, without falling out of the tree itself. He meets her eyes, fighting the grin on his face. He can’t break, breaking in front of important guests and his father would get them all in trouble. 

He tries to ignore them, bringing his focus back onto Cat, who has moved from kicked puppy status to outright pissed . She clearly noticed he hadn’t been paying attention and she was not too pleased. 

That’s fine, he thinks, it’s not like he was really trying to impress her anyways. 

He hears the rustling of leaves and his eyes jump back to Violet, mischief playing in her eyes. She smiles at him for just a moment, before her eyes cross, puffing her cheeks, and sticking her tongue out. His eyes narrow on her just slightly at her attempt to get him to laugh, the silly face not quite doing the trick. 

She huffs, rolling her eyes and lifting her middle finger in a crude gesture, which unfortunately, does get him to break.

He lets out a snort of a laugh before he even has time to realize what he is doing. He immediately regrets it when both adults head’s snap to him, his father’s eyes bright with reprimand. Before his father can scold him, the rustling in the trees gets louder and a tiny “oh shit” reaches his ears. 

He watches, helplessly as Violet falls from the tree, the branch she was on snapping even under her light weight. For once in their life, they actually seemed to have fully thought out their plan though, because she falls, safely, directly into Garrick and Bodhi’s waiting arms. They set her on her feet, her laugh ringing out in the courtyard. She dusts herself off, looking up and noticing every eye on her. 

She cringes just slightly under the look from his father, knowing by now that she was just as likely to get scolded by him as she was her own parents. 

“Sorry to interrupt, just, uh,” she looks up at the tree, “doing some routine inspections.” She pats the truck of the tree she just fell out of, “This one isn’t quite ready yet.” 

Xaden can’t help the laugh that leaves his mouth this time, her pathetic excuse not fooling a single person. Fen rolls his eyes at the kid's antics before he turns back towards Tecarus. 

“I apologize for the interruption,” he snaps his fingers in the direction of the other three, summoning them to his side. “My son’s friends have manners to rival a dragon.”

Tecarus laughs, taking in the trio who look only a bit sheepish as they approach. “You know what they say Fen, kids will be kids!” Xaden lets out a light sigh, knowing that with Tecarus finding them funny, instead of disrespectful, they may get away with only a light scolding later on. 

“And who might you all be?” Tecarus asks, his gaze floating from one to the other as he makes his way down the line. 

“Garrick Tavis, my aid’s son, Bodhi Durran, my sister’s son and Xaden’s cousin, and Violet Sorrengail-” 

“The general’s daughter?” Tecarus cuts off Fen’s introductions. 

He nods, “She spends her summers here with us. Xaden and Violet met at a ball when they were young and became fast friends.”

Tecarus regards her for just a moment longer, no doubt wondering the implications of housing one of Fen’s greatest adversaries' children for an entire summer. It was no surprise to anyone who had ever set foot in a political meeting that Fen and Lilith did not get along, their goals regarding the Venin on the complete opposite ends of the spectrum. Yet she still let Violet come each year, which means she either knew more than she let on regarding their soulmate status, or she truly was that uninterested in her youngest daughter. 

Based on her reasoning for keeping the Venin a secret, he assumed it was closer to the first. 

“Interesting…” Tecarus murmurs, his eyes flicking just barely between Xaden and Violet. He smiles then at Fen, “Why don’t we let the kids all go, I’m sure they don’t want to be around the boring adults.”

“Go on,” Fen says, gesturing towards Xaden’s friends, “And take Cat with you!” 

~~~

The four days that Cat and her Uncle are visiting are some of the worst for all of them. Cat, it turns out, is everything Fen tried hard to not allow Xaden to be. She’s rude, arrogant, and spoiled, all traits her uncle almost seems proud to stoke in her. He regularly seems to almost remind her that she is “better” than everyone else simply because of who she is. Fen is suddenly very glad he hadn’t promised Xaden to her, pretty sure his son would lose his mind being around her constantly. 

And it seemed that poor Violet was getting the worse of Cat’s attitude. She could hold her own ground, likely being the youngest child taught her quickly to not allow herself to be bulldozed by others, but she shouldn’t have to. Not in this house.

Tecarus never outright asked, but he wasn’t a fool. Fen is sure he has figured out exactly why the two of them had been such fast friends, as he had described them. And Cat, who even still seemed determined to get Xaden to notice her, had probably been told the exact reason why a betrothal between the two of them wasn’t going to happen. 

Everyone was ready for them to leave, and luckily, Fen had one final meeting with Tecarus before the two of them would be on their way back to their own home. 

“Are you sure there is nothing I can say to get you to change your mind?” Tecarus asks, “Not even for the luminary?” 

Fen grimaces, they really did need that luminary, but not at Xaden’s expense. Maybe if soulmates weren’t a thing, if the world didn’t already know that there was a perfect match for everyone, he would be more willing to consider a political marriage. 

But no one else saw Xaden in his quietest moments, in the moments when he lets his guard down. No one besides Fen could see the sadness in Xaden’s eyes in the months when she wasn't here and he could never force that look onto his son for the rest of his life. 

“Sorry, Tecarus, unless you can show me that Catriona is Xaden’s soulmate,” which Fen knows he can’t, “The answer will always be no.” 

Tecarus sighs, “It’s the Sorrengail girl isn’t it?” 

Fen doesn’t react, neither confirming nor denying anything, “I won’t speak on Xaden’s soulmate status until he, himself, knows.”

Tecarus smiles a knowing smile, it doesn’t matter if Fen didn’t outright confirm anything, someone else now knows who his son’s soulmate is. 

He glances at the clock on his desk, it’s just after lunch and he knows where the two of them will be. He stands, walking to the window that overlooks the front courtyard. He waves Tecarus over, pointing to the scene in the courtyard. 

It’s just Violet and Xaden, the other two must be running interference for Cat. They are under the tree that Violet fell out of during their arrival, Violet’s head laying in Xaden’s lap as she holds a book above her head. He also has a book in one hand, the other one carding slowly through her hair. To anyone else, you’d think they were already an established couple, and maybe in a way they are, but this was how they always had been. 

Nearly four years ago, Xaden grabbed her hand once to lead her to his favorite tree, and he never let go. 

Tecarus nods, his face softening at the casual display of care and love between the two of them, before he turns back to Fen. 

“I see now. My poor Cat never stood a chance.” 

Fen sighs as they return back to his desk. He hadn’t meant to hurt the girl by inviting her here, but it was obvious to anyone who saw them together that there was no coming between them. And Tecarus had needed to see the truth for himself. 

“Now,” Fen says, a smile returning to his face as he looks at Tecarus, “What else can we offer you for that luminary?”

Chapter Text

Violet’s favorite days, other than the days she is in Aretia, are the days she gets a letter from Xaden. They sometimes went months without seeing each other, the only way to keep up with each other being sending each other letters. He would keep her updated on what he and her other friends are up to, she would laugh at their adventures, and then tell him all about what she is learning about from her dad currently. She knows it isn’t something he cares about, history definitely not his favorite subject, but he never makes her feel weird for her rants on various historical moments. 

Her and Dain are being lazy by the river today, their current outpost one of her favorites they’ve ever been stationed at. The weather here was warm, almost always, and the library at the nearby town was one of the biggest she had ever seen. It obviously didn’t even hold a candle to the archives, but it was light and airy, the perfect place to read. 

They are taking turns trying to skip rocks, Dain currently beating Violet by one more skip of the rock. She bends, digging through the rocks at her feet trying to find anything that she could use to come out on top.

Smiling at her selection, she flips it in her hand a few times before sending a playful smile in Dain’s direction. 

“Let me show you how a master does it,” she says, gripping the rock between her thumb and middle finger. She turns her body to the side, rearing her arm back to get ready to throw. She stares out into the water for just a moment before picking a spot to hit in the water. 

Taking a deep breath in, like this is the most important moment of her life, she brings her arm forward. 

“Violet!” 

She startles as her name is called, forgetting to flick the rock with her pointer finger. It lands with a solid single SPLASH in the water, not even a single skip to be seen. 

Dain bursts out laughing. “Yeah, some master you are,” he wheezes out between bursts of laughter. She shoots him a glare which causes him to laugh even harder. She turns towards the offending voice, seeing her sister walking towards the two of them. 

“Hey Mira, everything alright?” It wasn’t very often that Mira spent time with the two of them. If she wasn’t in some sort of training, she was spending time with her own friends. Mira was the type of person who made friends wherever she went, easily being able to find a core group to spend time with. 

“Figured you might want this before Mom decides to read it.” She holds out a letter, Violet instantly recognizing Xaden’s handwriting on the front. She reaches for it eagerly, but Mira is faster, lifting the letter just out of Violet’s reach. 

“Not so fast little sister,” Mira’s face curves into a devilish grin, “If you want me to keep intercepting your mail from your boyfriend-”

Violet cuts her off, “He's not my boyfriend.”

She rolls her eyes, scoffing slightly, “Yeah okay, whatever you say.” She waves the letter in front of Violet, teasing her with Xaden’s words. “As I was saying, if you want me to keep stepping in to stop Mom from reading your mail, I need a favor.” 

Violet stares at her sister for just a moment, contemplating what her sister could possibly want from her. She nods finally, reaching back out for the letter. “What do you want?”

Mira’s smile widens, placing the letter in Violet’s hand. She tries not to look too excited, so as not to give Mira more fuel for teasing her about Xaden. “I’m going out tonight with some friends, but Mom didn’t exactly say I could. In fact she explicitly said no. Cover for me?” 

Violet nods again, “Absolutely.” 

Mira pulls Violet into a hug, squeezing her until she groans, her feet slightly lifting off the ground. “Put me down, Mira.” She wiggles, trying to get Mira to release her. 

She does finally, setting her on her feet. She reaches out, patting Violet on the head. “You’re the best! Now enjoy your love letter,” she teases. 

Violet scoffs again, rolling her eyes. Her fingers run over the front of the letter where her name is scrawled. She can’t wait to read it, knowing that she will finally get the first update from her friends. She always misses them terribly when she isn’t around, none of them as much as she misses Xaden. 

She pops the seal, letting her eyes run over the words quickly. She will read it more closely tonight when she has time to fully enjoy every word he wrote. She smiles as she picks out her friends names, their adventures in the past two months since she was last able to see them. There’s something in there about Ribbert, the frog they had found for Garrick, and her eyes narrow slightly as she picks out something about Catriona. 

“It isn’t a love letter,” she protests, even as her cheeks pink slightly as she reads over his last paragraph. His words are sweet, letting her know that he misses her just as much as she misses him. 

“Who are you fooling?” Dain asks, trying to peer over her shoulder. She pulls the letter closer to her chest, blocking out his view. “You clearly have a crush.” 

“What? No I don’t.” 

Mira rolls her eyes, “It’s obvious to literally everyone except you. I’d almost think you were soulmates the way you two are obsessed with each other.” 

Violet stills, a wave of anxiety running through her. There’s no way Xaden could be her soulmate… could he? She’s pretty sure she would know by now if he was with the amount of time they have spent together. 

But it’s not like they are taking their shirts off in front of each other, and neither of them have ever asked the other. But it would be so convenient for her if he was. She already knows that he accepts everything about her, already knows that she feels so safe and cared for when she’s with him.

She tries to keep her voice steady, “You think?” 

Mira just shrugs, “I mean what do I know? I’ve never met my soulmate, you should ask dad if you’re worried.”

She clutches the letter as close as she can, picturing Xaden as she last saw him that last day in Aretia. His warmth from the hug he gave her, the smile on his face as he tried to hide just how sad he was from her leaving. She thinks about how even after he let go, she could feel the warmth of his arms around her.

Fuck, she thinks to herself, she is so screwed. 

~~~

It takes her two weeks to work up the courage to talk to her father. They are sitting at a table in the library in town, he’s working on drafting some correspondence to Markham as she finishes up the essay he had tasked her with regarding how the trades between the isles and the continent have changed over the years. 

“Dad? Can I… ask you something?” Her voice is quiet, partly because of the setting they are in, and partly because she’s almost afraid to broach the subject. 

He glances up from his work, “Of course, what has you stuck?” His eyes flick to the essay she is meant to be working on. 

“Oh, not about this,” She’s quiet for a second as he gives her his full attention. She takes a deep breath in, “It’s about soulmates.”

He stills, just for a moment before he is smiling at her. “What about them?”

“I just… How did you know Mom was yours? Like, did you know before you saw the mark?”

He smiles wider, thinking back on the early days of his relationship with Lilith. The first time he saw her walking the pathways of Basgiath, her short hair slightly in disarray like she had just come from a flight. She was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. She was always beautiful to him, but that slightly disheveled look she had after a flight was his favorite look on her.

“I didn’t know before I saw her mark, there isn't really any other way, but I think I always knew,” he says, glancing at her. She was practically mesmerized by his words.

“But… how? How did you know?” She needs to know. She can't stop thinking about everything Mira said to her the other day, the implication that Xaden might be her soulmate. 

“I just couldn't imagine myself anywhere else besides at her side, I knew I didn't want to go anywhere that she wasn't also going.” 

She hums thoughtfully, biting her lip as she thinks about her own relationship with Xaden. She always wanted to be around him when she was in Aretia, whether it was because he was her best friend or because of something more… she can't tell. It’s been too long since she saw him to remember how she felt then.

Her worry must show on her face because her dad reaches out, patting her shoulder. “Are you alright?”

She nods quickly. “Yeah, yeah. I'm fine.”

He doesn't look convinced but doesn't ask her again. “What brought on the question?” he asks instead, raising a questioning eyebrow. 

“Just something Mira said. Xaden wrote me a letter a few weeks ago, she was teasing me, saying he must be my soulmate for how often we talk.” She shrugs, returning to her essay. She misses the way he freezes, his body going rigid. 

“Do you think he is?” he asks her finally, trying to keep his voice as level and calm as possible. He's not sure he could lie to her if she asked him outright about Xaden, but he doesn't want to tell her yet. Had hoped to wait until she was older and could better understand the emotions that can come with the bond. 

She shrugs again, scribbling something on the parchment in front of her. “I know he's my friend, I obviously care about him. But I don't know if I feel the way about him that you said you did about mom.”

“Do you want him to be?” 

She doesn't look back up at him, but he can still see the small smile on her face and the slight pinking of her cheeks.  “I don't know.” 

He smiles, returning to his own parchment. “I think, no matter what, you have all the time in the world to figure it out.” 

She stills for just a moment, her quill hovering above the parchment as she mulls over his words. Because he's right, she likes what they are right now, nothing needs to change.

And he might be her soulmate, but right now he's just her best friend, and that's fine with her. 

Chapter Text

This is so fucking boring. 

Xaden sighs from his chair in the assembly room, his head propped up on his hand as he runs his fingernail down the woodgrain of the table in front of him. It wasn’t the first assembly meeting he’d ever attended, but ever since the new year his father had made him attend more and more.

After all, he was almost fifteen and it was time for him to “start taking things seriously” according to his father. This meant he had to attend at least one assembly meeting per week until his next birthday, in which he would actually have to participate. 

He lets his mind wander, drowning out the noise of the assembly talking about taxes, or trades, or… something. His mind immediately goes to Violet, like it always does. He just saw her a few weeks ago, at the annual solstice party held by the king. It was always one of his favorite times because it was the only time it was just them. 

When she was in Aretia, her attention was split between everyone. Which was fine, he also wanted to spend time with his friends. But there? They would spend hours together, just the two of them. Dain was usually hanging around somewhere, but one glare from Xaden usually sent him off in an entirely different direction. 

His lips twitch up into a small smile, his eyes still following the circles his hand makes on the table, as he thinks about her. She had been so excited to show him the new book she got from her father as a solstice gift, some sort of story about pirates that he’s pretty sure she finished in a day. She’d read him the first chapter and he hopes she remembers to bring it with her this summer so he can learn what happens next. 

He wonders what she’s up to right now, if she’s stuck in some boring lesson like he is at the moment. Wonders what she’s learning about, probably something that she finds interesting. Wonders if her hair is down, remembering how it felt when he ran his fingers through it as she would lay her head on his legs and read. 

Wonders- 

Someone’s foot connects with his shin, causing him to jump, all thoughts of Violet out of his head. He glares at Garrick, knowing it was him who kicked him, who is sitting next to him hiding a laugh behind his hand. His father had also decided that he needed to be more involved, if he was to take over as aid to the duchy as his father was now. 

He glances around the table, noticing that every member of the assembly is looking at him. They definitely just asked him a question that he definitely did not hear any of. He meets his fathers eyes who lets out a slightly annoyed huff before turning back to the assembly. 

“Let’s wrap up for today, we can revisit the topic tomorrow.” Everyone turns away from him, slowly gathering their belongings and pushing away from the table. Xaden stands as well, trying to hide behind the other members as they leave, hoping his father doesn’t notice him and he can avoid the inevitable lecture for not paying attention. 

“Not you two,” his father commands. Xaden peaks over his shoulder, just noticing Garrick half a step behind him. His shoulders slump, just a fraction, before he turns back bracing himself for whatever scolding he is about to receive. 

Once everyone has filed out of the chamber, Garrick’s father closes the door. He turns, standing next to Fen at the front of the room, both adults looking down on their sons. 

“We are so screwed,” Garrick whispers. Xaden doesn’t acknowledge the comment, refusing to look away from his father, yet he can’t help but to agree with him silently. 

“So,” Fen starts, his eyes locked on his son, “How has attending the meetings been for you?” 

Xaden pauses, mulling over his answers for just a moment. His dad clearly knows that Xaden hadn’t been paying attention, but admitting to that would probably only serve to make his dad more mad. 

“It’s been… different,” he finally settles on. 

“It must have been at least a little interesting to have you so deep in thought.” Garrick snorts from where he stands beside Xaden, hiding his laugh. He resists the urge to tackle his best friend where he stands. 

Garrick never failed to tease him about Violet. No matter how many times Xaden told him that he didn’t have a crush on Violet and that she was definitely just his friend, Garrick refused to let it go. Xaden can only hope he watches what he says when she is around, he wouldn’t want Violet to hear it and think differently of him.

And somehow the asshole always knew when he was thinking of her. 

“Yeah,” Garrick says, shaking his head just slightly, “He was definitely thinking of the meeting and not at all of a certain scribe to be.” 

Xaden can’t resist the glare he shoots at him this time. Even if he did have a crush on Violet, he has no desire to talk about it with his father in the room. 

Fen’s eyes lock on Xaden’s face, his eyes widening just a bit at the idea that Xaden’s feelings have started to change towards Violet. He always knew they would, the very nature of the soulmate bond was a romantic bond afterall, this just seemed… soon. Or maybe he just was struggling with accepting that his son was getting older, was no longer the little boy who wanted to ride a dragon and was instead the teenager in front of him training daily to prepare for his future as both a Duke and a leader.

“Shut up Garrick,” Xaden growls, elbowing him in the side.
“Do we need to have a conversation about keeping yourself safe with girls?” Fen asks, a playful look crossing his face. 

“What?” Xaden’s face heats and he thanks the gods that his darker skin hides most of the red that colors his cheeks. “No, Dad. I’m fine. Can we move on to the part where you lecture me for not paying attention?”

“So you admit you weren’t paying attention?” Fen teases.

Xaden rolls his eyes, his jaw tensing as he resists reacting to his father’s words. He crosses his arms in front of his chest, waiting for them to move on from this conversation. There has to be something immensely more important for them to talk about than his nonexistent feelings for his friend. 

Fen chuckles, glancing up as the door to the assembly chamber opens. Everyone turns, seeing Bodhi and his mother standing there. She walks to the front, standing next to the other adults, as Bodhi settles next to his cousin. Fen holds his arm out, gesturing towards the seats at the table. “Sit boys, we have a lot to talk about.”

The three of them share a look before sitting in front of their parents, the mood in the room shifting immediately. It’s serious, clearly whatever his father has to say is important. 

“I’m sorry to do this to you boys, we really hoped to wait until you were much older, but…” Fen trails off. He swallows, working up the energy for this conversation. It’s going to change everything about their lives, how they move through the kingdom, and their interactions with others.
He clears his throat, looking up to stare Xaden directly in the eyes. If he is about to shake up his son's life, he can at least look him in the eyes during it. 

“What do you all know about the Venin?”

~~~

Xaden sits on the couch in his father’s office later that night, his mind hadn’t stopped racing since everything his father told him earlier. The Venin, the plans for secession, and the agreement with Tecarus. It was all too much. 

All he wanted to do was talk to Violet about it all and he couldn’t. 

He feels a rush of anger towards his father spread through him, he never held any secrets from Violet, and now he held so many of them. He wasn’t allowed to tell her any of this, according to his father. Her mother had made it clear to Fen when he first started petitioning the King to assist with the Venin problem that should Violet learn anything about the threats outside their border, she wouldn’t ever let her come back. 

So Xaden agreed to keep the secrets so he could keep his friend. 

He looks towards the door when there's a light knock, his father entering the room. “Bodhi told me you were in here. How are you?”

Xaden lets out a long breath, avoiding his fathers eyes. “I don’t even know that I’m thinking anymore.” 

A look of sorrow crosses Fen’s face, he knows this is too much information for a nearly fifteen year old boy. He wishes he could’ve waited until he was older, until he was ready to attend Basgiath. But he isn’t sure they have that kind of time anymore. 

“I wish I could’ve waited, let you enjoy your childhood a little longer.” He doesn’t think Xaden would ever know just how mad he is that he has to tell him now. 

Xaden nods, “I know.”

They are silent for a bit, Fen giving him space to process everything that he was told. He knows it’s a lot, it was a lot for him when his own father told him, and there wasn’t even the probability of secession at that point. 

“So, what does this deal with Tecarus mean?” Xaden asks finally. 

“It’s pretty simple, all things considered. Once we can secede from Navarre, we hope that the Tyrrish troops, riders, healers, and scribes can come back to us. Tecarus wants dragons stationed there for his protection, and we get the luminary so we can make weapons to defeat the Venin.”

Xaden nods. It makes sense, in a way. Though from the little he knows of the king, he thinks it’s probably a long shot that they let the Tyrrish return to them, on top of the already low chance they let them secede. 

“And… after the secession… does that mean I’d never see Violet again?”

Fen is silent for a moment. It was definitely one of the harder parts of the decisions he has been making recently. 

“She would always be welcome here on our end, but there is the possibility her parents wouldn’t let her come here again until she is an adult.” Navarre doesn’t let people cross their border, and Fen isn’t sure if that would extend to Tyrrendor, even considering it having been part of them in the past. If they close off their borders, she would never be allowed back into Navarre, and that wasn’t something he could do to her.

Gods, Xaden thinks, this day just keeps getting worse and worse. 

He finally lifts his eyes to meet his father's, his face twisted slightly in anger. “Well then. I hope you aren’t too mad when I say I think this is a stupid idea.” 

Chapter Text

Xaden wouldn’t say he was avoiding Violet, but he also wasn’t actively seeking her out like normal. He had given her a hug when she arrived for the summer, something he had been surprised about, before he pulled away, making up some excuse about some meeting and hiding away in the house. 

He saw the brief flash of confusion in her eyes, but she quickly covered it with a smile, telling him that she would see him later. He knew that she had been looking forward to spending time with him, had even said so in her most recent letters, especially since she hadn’t been able to see him since Solstice. 

She had planned to come for his fifteenth birthday until three days before they were set to leave when she slipped on a patch of ice, her knee twisting and her shoulder straining from trying to catch herself, and her parents had forced her to stay home. 

He briefly wondered if her parents had just forbidden her from coming, somehow knowing that he now knew about the Venin, so imagine his surprise when he received her letting stating she would be there the second week of May.

And he can’t lie, he feels like he was crawling out of his skin with eagerness to see her. It had been so long, too long, since he got to see her. All he wants to do is plant himself by her side and spend every moment with her as possible, soaking in her presence because who knows when he will get to see her again.

But he just can’t.

He took one look in her beautiful, curious eyes, and knew he couldn’t lie to her. Knew he wouldn’t be able to keep this secret from her if she asked him what was wrong. So he kept his distance when he could, doing his best to not be alone with her, only letting himself be around her when the whole group was there and quickly ducking out of the room before she could get him alone. 

He tries his hardest to ignore the hurt, confusion, and anger that seems ever present on her face because if he lets himself acknowledge it, he knows he will cave. He’s never been more angry with his father for putting him in the position to hurt her this way. 

“Xaden?” The hesitation in her voice makes him pause just as he’s about to enter his father’s office. It’s where he has spent most of his time lately, a convenient place to keep his distance.

He glances up, seeing her standing there about five feet from the office door. She’d never looked small to him before, but the way she’s standing there, her arms wrapped around her body, makes her look every bit of her nearly thirteen years. She tucks a piece of hair behind her ear, nibbling on the inside of her lip from nerves. 

“Hi Violet.” His voice is soft, like he doesn’t want to break the silence between them. When he meets her eyes, he can see the confusion swirling there. She’s not dumb, not at all. She knows that he is avoiding her, she just doesn’t know why. 

“I just- well- I wanted to know if you wanted to go on a walk today? We haven’t been to the hill yet this summer and…” her voice trails off as she looks away from him. The nervousness in her tone breaks Xaden’s fucking heart. She hasn’t been this nervous around him since… well ever. 

Even when he was Xaden Riorson, Heir Of Tyrrendor, and not Xaden Riorson, her best friend. She still treated him like he was any other kid in those moments. 

“I… Can't,” he stammers out. But gods he wishes he could. 

“Right.” She doesn’t even look hurt now, just… resigned. She knew he would say no, she’d been trying to spend time with him every day so far of the two weeks she’d been here. And he always said no, always came up with some reason why he couldn’t. 

She turns on her heel, walking away from him without another word. He resists the urge to run to her, to gather her into his arms and apologize a million times and then a million times more, and walks into his father’s office, slamming the door behind him. 

~~~

Violet is not just mad, she’s angry by the time she makes it to the river. Bodhi and Liam had invited her to come relax by the water with them before she spoke to Xaden, both of them already knowing what his answer would be. It was just the three of them today, Garrick apparently was also in this mystery meeting of Xaden’s and Sloane and Imogen were in town looking for new summer clothes for Sloane. 

“Ugh,” she flops down on the ground between the two of them, “What is his fucking problem?”

“Xaden?” Liam asks, setting the little wood carving he was working on to the side. It was a newer hobby of his, and while he was only skilled enough to make the rough shape of a flower, he seemed to have a knack for the craft. 

“Who else?” she snaps, her face softening when she sees the flash of hurt on his face. It’s not his fault that Xaden is avoiding her. She lets out a soft sigh, letting her anger reduce to a simmer. She doesn’t want to alienate the friends who are still talking to her. “Sorry Liam. Just frustrated.”

“We know Vi,” Bodhi starts, “Xaden has just been dealing with a lot lately. Uncle Fen has really been pressuring him to start learning the ropes of the duchy.”

She scoffs and rolls her eyes, but doesn’t respond. She gets that, she really does. She understands responsibility and duties having spent enough time with nobles and royals, but all day? Every day? It feels like there should’ve been at least some time that he could’ve spent with her.
She sits up, bending her knees and pulling them towards her chest as she stares out at the river in front of her. Crossing her arms, she rests them on her knees. She lets the sounds of the river calm the strongest of her anger, the rhythmic flowing water settling her heart. 

“I just… don’t understand,” she whispers, feeling tears prick her eyes. She blinks rapidly trying to dispel them before they can run down her cheeks. 

Sorrengails do not cry. And they definitely do not cry over a boy. 

Sensing that she is fighting a losing battle against them though, she tucks her head into the space between her knees and her chest, letting them fall in the privacy of her elbow. She feels a hand on her back, probably Bodhi’s, rubbing circles to try and comfort her. 

She misses the knowing look the two of them pass over her head. Liam’s parents had also decided to tell him about the threat outside their borders, deciding that he was old enough for the information. Sloane didn’t know yet, but they would tell her in a year when she was Liam’s age. Even Imogen knew now, almost all of Violet’s friends now holding onto a secret.

She gives herself one minute, sixty seconds, to cry. When she lifts her head, the backs of her hands quickly swiping at her cheeks to try and prevent her friends from seeing. There’s only one person she truly feels comfortable crying in front of, and he isn’t talking to her. 

“Have you tried talking to him?” Bodhi asks, his hand still resting on her back. 

She looks at him like he’s grown a second head. “I just asked him to spend time with me and he said no.”

Bodhi rolls his eyes, his hand moving to ruffle her hair playfully. She swats at his arms like he’s an annoying fly, which only makes him laugh. While all the boys have started to hit their growth spurts, all of them seemingly growing multiple inches each week, Violet was still comically short. Even Liam, the youngest of the boys, has begun to tower over Violet. Her attempts at fighting back reminding them of a kitten going after a fully grown dog. 

“Corner him somewhere,” Liam offers, ignoring their antics as she presses closer to him, moving out of reach as Bodhi tries to poke her in the side. “That’s what I do when Sloane is ignoring me.” 

She freezes for a second, jumping when Bodhi finally lands a solid poke to her ribs. “That’s a great idea Liam!” 

She jumps up from the ground, brushing herself off and turning back towards the house. 

“Where are you going!” Liam calls to her as she quickly leaves them behind.

“I’m not gonna find him by sitting here!” 

~~~

“Are you mad at me?”

Xaden startles, his hands grabbing tightly to the ledge he is sitting on as he turns to look as the source of the voice. Violet is standing there, the door to the roof open behind her as she stares at him. Her face is set in a hard mask, not giving away any of her emotions. But he sees as she tucks a strand of hair behind her ear, the most obvious tell that she’s nervous. 

He stares at her because he doesn’t know how to answer that. He’s not mad at her, not at all, but telling her that makes him an even bigger ass for avoiding her because he doesn’t have a reason he can tell her. 

“Well?” Her voice comes out a little demanding, “Are you?”

But he already knows he can’t lie to her. So he sighs, turning back to look into the night sky from his favorite spot on the roof. “No, Violence, I’m not mad.”

“Then why are you ignoring me?”

He doesn’t answer, debating for just a moment about pushing her away again. But he's tired of that, tired of not being around her. He misses her.

Misses her so badly he feels it in his bones. Like they are trying to jump out of his skin to be near her. 

A heartbeat passes between them before he pats the ledge beside him, inviting her to come sit with him. He hears the door click, and thinks for a moment that she gave up, went back inside, until he feels her beside him. The warmth of her skin where her arm brushes his, and her calming citrusy smell from her soap, both of the sensations calming a touch of his anxiety. 

The silence that settles between them is tense, the distance the past three weeks has created is more noticeable than ever. After her afternoon at the river with Liam and Bodhi, it had taken her nearly four days to figure out where he was hiding in the evenings, and another four to figure out exactly what she wanted to say to him. 

“I’m sorry Xaden, for whatever I did. I didn’t mean to and I’m sorry.” Xaden looks over at her, guilt etched on every line of his face. She can’t think this is her fault when he is the one who had been avoiding her. 

“ Gods Violet,” he interrupts her. She will not take blame for something that is entirely on him. “You didn’t do anything, at all.”

“Then what is it? Because this sucks. I miss you Xaden.” Her eyes narrow on him as if daring him to pull away again. He sighs again, placing his hand palm facing up on her thigh. An offering, if she wants it. He doesn’t expect her to take it, so the shock he feels when she laces her fingers with his nearly topples him off the roof. 

For the first time in weeks, he feels right. 

“I miss you too Violet,” he starts. He’s quiet then for a moment, his thumb brushing circles on the back of her hand. He can’t tell her everything, he refuses to risk her life or lose her, but he can give her something. 

“So you know how my dad has been having me learn more about the duchy?” She nods, encouraging him to continue. He takes a deep breath, hoping she can accept the answer he gives her. “He told me something recently and it… really fucked me up.”

“What did he tell you?” She asks, but he’s already shaking his head. 

“I can’t tell you, I’m literally not allowed to. But holding onto this information, keeping it from you feels like I’m keeping secrets, like I’m lying to you and I hate it .” His voice comes out rough, all the anger and frustration he’s been feeling since his father first told him bubbling to the surface. “I thought if I kept my distance it wouldn’t hurt so much but the truth is, it’s killing me. You’re my best friend and I miss you so fucking much.”

She squeezes his hand, leaning in closer to him. Even sitting, he is now tall enough that her head doesn’t reach his shoulder, so she just lets herself lean against his bicep. “I understand not being able to spill all of the secrets of nobility Xaden, I’ve grown up in this world, remember?”

He smiles, despite the seriousness of this conversation. The fact that she’s still here, not yelling, not cursing out his name, he knows they will be okay. “I know, Vi.”

They sit there in the silence again, the sounds of the city below them quieting as it gets later and later. He relishes in the fact that he didn’t permanently lose his best friend, even if he owes her everything she ever asks for for the rest of the summer to make up for hurting her feelings these past weeks. 

“How’d you know I was up here anyways?” he asks her. He’d never brought her up here, honestly he didn’t need to. He spent half the time up here looking at the night sky and wondering if she was doing the same, and the other half just waiting for his father to come home from whatever trip he was on this time. Neither of those happened when she was here, so it had never seemed important to bring her. 

“Honestly it was kind’ve a lucky guess. I knew it was somewhere that I wouldn’t just accidentally run into you, and then Garrick mentioned something about having to climb a bunch of stairs anytime he wanted to talk to you lately and it just clicked,” she explains. She’s glad he actually was up here, if she had climbed all those stairs just for him to not be here, she may have been more mad. 

He chuckles, shaking his head slightly. “Of course he was the one who told.”

“In his defense, it was Liam’s idea that I corner you.”

He laughs again, “Well it worked, so I guess we owe Liam now.”

She shrugs, “We don’t have to tell him that his idea worked.” She laughs, her whole body shaking with laughter, before it changes to a shiver as the cool night air blows past them. He notices immediately, standing from the ledge and helping her up. 

“We should head inside, tomorrow we can take that walk you wanted.” 

Her smile is bright, clearly happy at the idea of getting to spend time with him again. She pauses when she reaches the doorway, turning so she can look up at him. 

“Will you ever be able to tell me?” She asks. She may understand that he can’t tell her everything, but that doesn’t mean she doesn’t still want to know. 

He thinks for a second before nodding. “Someday, when we are older and I know you’ll be safe, I’ll tell you.” 

Her eyes widen for just a moment at the idea that whatever information he holds is something that might be a danger to her, and she understands just a little more why he has been hiding from her.

But she nods back a moment later, content with letting the idea that he will tell her eventually be enough for her, for now.

Chapter Text

Xaden notices Violet for the first time when he is 16. He’s obviously noticed her prior to this, they’ve been around each other every few months for the last few years. It would’ve been hard for him to have never seen her before this. 

But as she gets out of the carriage a few days before her 14th birthday, he… notices. 

Notices the way the sun makes the amber in her eyes sparkle. Notices how the slight breeze ruffles the waves of her hair where it settles in the middle of her back. Notices the freckles that kiss her shoulders from being out in the sun. Notices the citrus and vanilla scent that clings to her when she throws her arms around his neck to pull him in for a hug. 

She must think he’s a blubbering idiot when he stammers out a barely coherent welcome, if the look she gives him is any indication, and he’s grateful his father, Bodhi, and Garrick are there to distract her from the fact that he thinks his heart is going to explode. 

She turns towards Fen, raising two fingers to her forehead in a mocking salute, “Duke Dad,” she says, referencing her own nickname for him. It had stuck all these years later, and the appalled look the other nobles and assembly members would give her when they heard it only fueled her to use it more.

Xaden watches as his friends pull her in for a quick hug each before Garrick grabs her pack, throwing it over his shoulder and following her and Bodhi into the fortress. He stands there, watching her as she disappears and finally lets out a full breath. 

“Everything okay?” His father asks, clearly noticing the change in Xaden’s demeanor. He went from excited and happy to see her to quiet and reserved almost the second she arrived. 

Xaden startles, like he forgot where he was, and turns to look at his father. He lets out a shaky breath, running his hand through his hair as his eyes dart back to where he last saw her. “Yeah, yeah, I just…” He sounds breathless, like he just ran a marathon. 

It clicks then, for Fen, what has happened. The feelings that had always been growing between them, from childhood friends to what might be teenage love, have made themselves known to Xaden. He knew it would happen someday, since the first time he was able to confirm that Violet was Xaden’s soulmate, and he feels a little proud that he was able to witness it. That he was able to witness the first time Xaden was breathless from his soulmate. 

“Xaden?” She stands in the doorway at the top of the stairs, her head cocked slightly to the side as she stares at him. “Everything… okay?” After what they went through last summer, she was not about to start this one out similarly.

He gives her a small smile as he meets her eyes, his gaze softening as he takes her in. He bounds quickly up the stairs, his arm landing around her shoulders as he smiles down at her. She returns his smile as he tucks her into his side, leading her up into the house.

A rosy blush makes its way across her cheeks, her free hand coming up to tuck a piece of hair behind her ear. “Everything is good, Violence.” He reassures her, a sense of pride flaring in his chest when her blush deepens at the nickname. 

Fen smiles as he watches the two of them, realizing that it might not just be his son who is beginning to feel the attraction from the soulmate bond. He knew this would happen soon, both of them entering into their teenage years when the hormones would run rampant, but he hadn’t expected it to be so sudden. 

It was like someone turned on the lights, illuminating them both in the light that is the other. 

Sure he had seen the looks cast between the two of them the last few years, and he would’ve had to have been deaf to not hear the other boys teasing Xaden, but this was different. This was no longer a childhood crush, but the feelings of a deeper bond. 

He grimaces for a moment when he realizes that he is going to have to have some… awkward conversations with Xaden soon about keeping himself and Violet safe. Shaking his head, he asks for one of the fortress helpers to grab Violet’s other bag, and he follows them into the fortress. 

“Xaden.” Fen calls out, beckoning his son from where he stands, leaning against the doorway of the room that Violet always took when she was here. Xaden ignores him, too focused on Violet to notice anything else around him. 

Xaden watched her with a small smile on his face, listening to her talk about her travels here, as she flits around the room unpacking her bags. Garrick and Bodhi were in the room with her, Garrick moving her heavy packs onto the bed so she can go through them as Bodhi sat at the desk asking casual questions about her past few months.

While she regularly got to see Xaden at various gatherings around the kingdom, it was rare for Bodhi or even Garrick to attend meaning they only got to see her during her summer visits or Xaden’s birthday. 

“Come on boys, let's leave Vi to get unpacked and washed up. She knows how to find us when she's ready,” Fen says, addressing the three of them. Garrick and Bodhi both nod, brushing past Xaden to file into the hall. 

Xaden hesitates, a longing look on his face as he stares at her. She comes to him, placing herself in front of him where he's still leaning on her doorway. His hand immediately drifts to her waist, but he doesn’t touch, almost afraid to act on his subconscious motions. She looks up at him, the look in her eyes hard for even Fen to place. There's too many emotions to name just one; admiration, respect, attraction… love in her eyes. 

Fen wonders how long that look has been there and how he has been so blind as to not see it until now. He wonders if she even knows how she looks at him.

She raises a single hand to his chest, tapping him gently. “I'll see you later,” she murmurs. 

His smile grows wider, every nerve in his body honed into the space where she touches him. “Yeah, I'll see you later.”

He barely resists the urge to reach out and run the back of his hand down her cheek. He does though, and turns toward the others, pulling her door shut behind him.

“Well that was… interesting.” Garrick says, a smirk on his face. Bodhi's eyes bounce between Xaden and Violet’s now closed door, but he wisely keeps his comments to himself. 

Xaden's eyes narrow on Garrick, “I don't know what you mean,” he starts, feigning innocence of the whole interaction. He ignores the knowing looks all three of them give him as he walks past them, heading towards their own rooms. Garrick keeps stride with him, Bodhi on his other side, as Fen walks behind them.

“I mean, it looked like you were two seconds away from kissing her.” 

Xaden freezes in his place, his gaze shifting from Garrick to Violet’s door, as if she might be able to hear the conversation even though they are now halfway down the hall. He glances quickly at his father like he wasn’t sure if he wanted to talk about this with his father around. 

He sighs and continues walking, “Well, I wasn’t.” He bites out the words, the muscles of his jaw tense. He hadn’t been thinking of kissing her, but now he was. Wondering what her lips would feel like on his, what she might feel like in his arms. The spot on his chest is still warm with the ghost of her touch. 

Garrick gives him a disbelieving snort. “Sure. Well, some friendly advice, when you kiss her for the first time, maybe don’t do it in front of us.”

“I wasn’t going to kiss her.” 

“You’re allowed to like her, Xaden.” Bodhi interjects, trying to diffuse some of the tension. Garrick was well intentioned, but pushing Xaden into admitting something he might not even realize himself was only going to create annoying tension between the two until they decide to fight it out of each other. 

“Of course I like her, she’s my friend .” He emphasized the word friend, like that was going to make the others forget what they just witnessed. 

“The same way I'm friends with Noura-” Xaden cuts Garrick off with a glare so lethal, Malek himself might rethink his actions. 

“Alright boys,” Fen interjects, not wanting to break up a fist fight today, “Tavis, you be kind to that girl, she's nice. And Xaden,” he cocks his head towards his office, “Let's talk.”

Xaden groans, but walks into his father's office, leaving his friends in the hall. He sits down in one of the chairs across from the desk, anticipating the lecture he’s sure he’s about to receive. 

His father lets him stew in silence for a few minutes, finishing up a few missives and writing a quick letter to the Sorrengails letting them know that Violet had made it to them safely. 

Xaden shifts uncomfortably in the chair, watching as his dad finishes the letter before looking up at him. 

“So,” his dad starts, “Violet?”

Xaden groans, his head falling to rest on the back of the chair as he stares up at the ceiling, his hands coming to cover his eyes in frustration. “I know, I know. She’s my friend, I shouldn’t be feeling like this towards her. But I just…” he trails off, lifting his head to look at his dad, “There’s just something about her.”

His dad gives him a soft smile, “Like your cousin said, you are allowed to like her Xaden.” 

“I didn’t even realize I felt like this until today. It was like she gave me her normal hug and my brain could only think about her.”

That might not be entirely true, Xaden thinks, recalling his past interactions with her. There had definitely been moments in the past when he questioned his feelings toward her, but he wasn’t about to let Garrick know he’d been correct in his teasing the past few years. 

“That’s pretty normal when you like someone,” Fen explains, leaving out the part where his might be particularly intense due to the soulmate bond.

“Yeah… I know. I just feel…” he trails off, his face twisting a bit as he tries to think of the proper word, “Guilty, I guess.” 

Fen raises his eyebrows in surprise but doesn’t say anything, giving Xaden the space to work through his own emotions. 

“I keep thinking about the stories mom used to tell me about soulmates and I can’t help but to think that feeling this intensely about her is somehow hurting my soulmate.” Xaden says quietly.

Fen freezes, thinking hard about how he wants to proceed with this conversation. Asher and him had decided after their second visit to Aretia that they didn’t want to tell the kids about the soulmate bond until Violet turned 18, unless they found out first. They had wanted them to build a relationship based on friendship and mutual care, even if it was aided by the bond. 

“How do you know she isn’t your soulmate?” Fen asks him, keeping his voice steady to try not to give anything away. 

Xaden rolls his eyes. “I think I’d know by now. We’ve known each other for over six years.” 

“Have you ever asked?” 

“I- No.” Xaden looks away from his father, keeping his eyes trained out the window of the office. He looks out into the forest where he and Violet had climbed trees the first time she came to Aretia, and remembers all the stolen moments they’ve had just the two of them. “I think it would hurt worse knowing she’s someone else’s.” 

Fen hums in thought, staring at the side of Xaden’s face as he continues to stare out the window. “Well, you have to decide if the potential of what you could be, outweighs the potential of what you might not be.” 

“So you’re saying I should tell her how I feel?” 

Fen shrugs, turning back to the paperwork on his desk. “I can’t make that decision for you.”

He groans again, leaning back in the chair as his mind whirls with the possibility of telling her about his feelings. He’d told his dad he only noticed his feelings today, and while that’s true, he can’t help but wonder how long this has been building. If there was some possible future where she was his soulmate.

Garrick had teased him all those years ago when she first visited that he had a crush on her and he’d protested at the time, but he thinks he did, even then. Truthfully, he’d never tried to bake a cake for any of his other friends, that should’ve been his first clue that she was special to him. 

He’s not sure why they decided right now to make themselves known, but fine. He just needs to get himself sorted before he sees her again so that he looks less like an idiot when he tries to talk to her again. 

He stands, moving to leave the office. He wants to find Garrick, maybe get in some sparring so he can work through some of his thoughts before he sees her again. 

“Oh, and Xaden?” His father gives him a hard look that stops him in his tracks. “I know you care about her. But you can’t tell her about anything.” His dad glances pointedly at the rolled up map in the corner of his office. The one Xaden knows shows recent Venin movements. 

Xaden is still for a moment, taking in his fathers words. He knows this, he’s been reminded of it each time he’s seen her since he was first told. “I know, I just want to prepare her though.”

Fen sighs. “You’ve been in the meetings. You know how her mother feels. We will not endanger her when she leaves here by giving her knowledge she shouldn’t have.” 

“Are we not putting her in more danger by not warning her what is out there?” he argues back. He won’t win the fight, he knows this, but maybe if he can tell her just one thing, this guilt he has carried since he first learned about the Venin will lessen. 

“Xaden, you know I care about her, so what I’m about to say is not meant to be rude towards her, but the girl has to wrap her knees and ankles nearly every day. She can’t defend herself if Navarre leadership comes for her.” 

Xaden is silent, knowing his father is right. She might be scrappy, and able to fight anyone when it comes to wit and knowledge, but actually defending herself? Sparring was never something she was interested in, didn’t need it for the scribes. 

“So what should I do?” Xaden finally asks. 

“You can still prepare her. Teach her to spar, to fight. Just because she doesn’t know what’s coming, doesn’t mean she can’t be prepared.” 

Xaden thinks for a moment before nodding. He turns on his heel and leaves his father’s office, asking one of the guards to pass a message to her to have her meet him in the sparring gym when she’s ready.

Chapter Text

He hears her before he sees her, she’s not as sneaky as she thinks she is. He’s sitting on one of the benches in the sparring gym, fiddling with the tip of a practice dagger. 

Her hands slip over his eyes, blocking out his vision, and he feels the corner of his mouth quirk up at her closeness. His heart skips a beat before speeding up, a nervous excitement coursing through his veins at getting to spend time with her.

“Guess who?” Her voice comes out in a sing-song tone. Even if he hadn't known it was her from her steps, lighter and quicker somehow than anyone else in the house, or from her voice, he would've known from the citrus and vanilla scent that rolls off of her in waves. 

He wonders again how it took him this long to realize he cared for her more than just his best friend. He knew without being able to look at her what she looked like right now. Because he knew her in her soul. 

He knew if he was looking at her right now he'd find her hair down, it was always down, and slightly damp still from the bath she always took after traveling. It was hard on her joints and a warm bath did wonders for easing the tension. 

He knew she was probably in a pair of black leggings and a loose flowy tunic, more likely than not cream to match her scribe robes in the future. 

“Wow Garrick,” he jokes, “I guess I never realized how high pitched your voice was.” 

She lets out a surprised laugh, her hands falling from his face as she moves to his side. She straddles the bench he's sitting on as she looks up at him, a shy smile on her face.

“Hi,” he says, his voice low as he turns to face her. He's not sure why he's being so quiet, there's no one else in the room with them, but this greeting is for her and no one else. 

She tucks a piece of hair behind her ear, a nervous tic of hers that he picked up on rather quickly, “Hi.” Her voice matches his, this intimate moment just for the two of them.

He drinks in the sight of her before him. He was right, her hair is still damp, the ends of it curling slightly where it hits her elbows, and she’s wearing the exact outfit he expected her to be in. She’s staring at him curiously and he realizes he has been silent for way too long, just staring at her. He tears his gaze from hers, glancing around the sparring gym like something might save him from his own embarrassment. 

“Are you sure you’re okay? You’ve been acting weird.” 

He rolls his eyes before turning back to her, flashing her a smirk, “What? You worried about me?” 

She scoffs, turning away from him. “You wish.” She glances around the empty gym before turning back to him. “So what are we doing here? I kind’ve thought you were kidding when I got your message.”

He smiles, holding out the practice dagger in his hand, offering it to her. “Sparring.”

Her eyebrows fly to her hairline in surprise, her mouth dropping open slightly. “I’m sorry, I thought you said sparring?”

“I did.” He stands, holding his hand out to her to help her up. She stares at him for just a moment before placing her hand in his. She lets him lead her to the middle of the gym, her look of confusion only growing with each passing second. 

“Did you hit your head recently? Forget I’m going to be a scribe? I don’t really need to know how to fight,” she says. He’d tried to teach her in the past but she denied him every time. She just had no reason to ever learn how to spar and saw no point in even trying. 

He smiles, “No Violence, I didn’t forget your brilliance. I just think there’s nothing wrong with learning to protect yourself.” They stop in the middle of the gym, him dropping her hand so he can take a step back to assess her. She’s not dressed for sparring, her clothes loose and her hair down. Maybe he should’ve given her a warning about his plans. 

He holds out a strip of fabric that he keeps around his wrist, just for her. She stares at it for just a moment before taking it, pulling her hair out of her face into a ponytail. Still not the most practical of hairstyles, too easy for someone to grab, but at least it’s out of her face. 

“And who am I defending myself against in the Archives?” He circles her slowly, his eyes raking her from head to toe as he wonders where to start. He’s never fully trained someone from the beginning, any pointers he’s given his friends have all been based on their own current skills. 

He moves quickly, grabbing the wrist of her hand that still holds the practice dagger to hold it to her own throat. His other arm winds around her waist, pulling her back flush with his chest. Her mouth drops open in surprise as her head falls back against his shoulder so she can look up at him. “You never know who might be hiding in the shadows, trying to mark your pretty face.”

She smirks, “Why Xaden Riorson, do you think I’m pretty?” 

It’s the purr in her voice that causes him to freeze, momentarily caught off guard. He opens his mouth to respond, but nothing comes out because what does he say to that. He does think she’s pretty, more than pretty. Gorgeous, beautiful, stunning, all those words that the poets use. 

Can he tell her that though, or would she find it weird. 

She uses his surprise to her advantage, throwing her elbow back to hit him in his stomach. He stumbles, just enough to let her go. She spins once she is free, turning to face him as she throws her hands up in celebration, the practice dagger falling to her feet. 

His eyes narrow on her as he catches his balance. If he hadn’t been distracted by her, he never would’ve stumbled. “You can fight?”

She shrugs, “Did you really think that Brennan and Mira taught me nothing?” 

He hums thoughtfully, approaching her on the mat again. “So what else have you been hiding from me?”

She laughs, throwing her head back. “Nothing really, Mira taught me how to break out a few holds to get away from danger, but nothing about actually fighting. I don’t think I could throw a proper punch to save my life.”

Getting away from danger is a good place to start, but she can’t always just run. She only nearly knocked him over because his mind was wandering. An attacker who was focused wouldn’t have let go.

He holds his hands up in front of him, giving her two targets, “Show me.” 

“You want me to… hit you?”

He scoffs and rolls his eyes, “You just said you can barely throw a proper punch, I’m not exactly scared of you.” 

Her eyes narrow on him, now determined to hit him as hard as she can. He watches as she raises her fist, her eyes shifting from his to his hand, eyeing her target. His eyes move to her fist, mentally tabulating all the flaws in her stance. His gaze turns back towards her hands as she starts her strike, when—

“Stop!” He drops his hands, moving out of the way quickly so she doesn’t actually hit anything. She nearly topples over as her momentum sends her forward, stumbling towards the mat. His hands grasp her shoulders, keeping her upright and stopping her from going all the way to the floor. 

“What was that for?!” 

“Give me your fist,” He demands, holding his hand out. Keeping her hand clenched, she places it in his waiting hand. He glances at it before looking back at her, his eyebrow raised in amusement. The corner of his mouth ticks up into a small smile, “Were you trying to break your hand?”

“Obviously not.” She rolls her eyes. She goes to pull her hand away from him, but his fingers curl around her wrist, keeping her locked in place. His other hand comes to her fist, loosening her fingers before he refolds them. 

“Punching lesson 1; thumb on the outside of the fist, every time.” He drops her hand, before he raises his own again. “Try again.”

This time, with her fist properly curled, she swings forward, her fist connecting with the fleshy part of his palm. He smiles when she makes contact, the power she put behind the hit harder than he would’ve expected given her disastrous form.

“Again.” She swings her other arm, making contact again, noticeably weaker than the other side. Makes sense, considering he has seen her mostly writing with her right hand. He smiles wider, dropping his hands. 

“Okay, hands up like you are going to strike, but don’t. I want to look at your form.” She stands, her arms up in front of her. He slowly circles, taking notes of everything that needs adjusted. 

“I feel ridiculous,” she says, eyes tracking his movements as he crosses back in front of her. He smiles as he meets her eyes.

“You should, your stance is shit.”

Her mouth falls open in shock, her arms falling back to her side as she stares at him. “Xaden!” 

He chuckles and shrugs, he isn’t going to apologize for telling her the truth. He moves back behind her, “Arm’s back up.”

She sighs, but does what she’s told. He pauses for just a moment, debating the merits of putting his hands on her. He’d never hesitated in the past; pulling her into hugs, holding her hand, and throwing his arm around her shoulders, but this felt different. 

Because now he wanted to touch her. Wanted to know if her skin was as soft as it looked. Wanted to know what her waist felt like in his hands. What her lips would feel like on his. 

He takes in a shaky breath, trying to clear his head from any thoughts of her outside of fixing her stance. He taps the inside of her foot with his own, nudging it slightly. “Feet apart, shoulder width.” She nods, letting his foot guide her own. “Good, bend your knees just slightly.”

He takes a single step forward, his chest nearly brushing against her back now. His hands come to her shoulders, his thumbs pressing just enough to dig into the tense muscles near her shoulder blades. 

“Relax, Vi,” he murmurs. He feels her shoulders dip just slightly, the tension he just felt slowly receding. His hands move from her shoulders to her elbows and fuck he was practically enveloping her. 

“Like this?” she whispers, holding her arms up how he had moved them. He hums in affirmation, the rumble in his chest traveling from his body to hers. His hands drop from her elbows, hesitating just a moment before they land on her hips. 

He hears her breath hitch, his eyes moving immediately to the bit of her face that he can see from this angle. He can’t see much, even with the extra inches he has on her, but he can see the bright red of her cheeks. Briefly, he wonders if she is just as affected by him as he is by her. It sure as shit would make things easier on him if she was. 

“Is this okay?” The red of her face might give her away, but he would stop immediately if she asked him to. Above all, she was his best friend, and no whatever-the-fuck he might be feeling would have him crossing any lines she wasn’t comfortable with. 

But she nods, just slightly. “Yes.”

He lightly grips her hips, angling them just slightly so that they open her stance. “There,” his voice comes out nearly a whisper, a breathiness to it that he himself had never heard before. “Perfect.”

She turns her head, glancing up at him with a wide smile on her face that is immediately mirrored by him. The absolute joy on her face makes it feel like his heart both stops and is beating too fast at the same time. 

He wonders what she would do if he kissed her right now. If it would turn this into the most awkward summer of his life, or the best. 

His gaze flicks to her mouth and he’s leaning in before he knows what he’s doing. 

A door slams somewhere in the hallway behind them, causing them both to jump. His hands drop from her waist as he takes a step back, clearing his throat. “Right,” he starts, moving back to stand in front of her, “When you punch, you want to make sure that you keep your knuckles aligned, and always follow through.”  

She blinks through her confusion for just a moment before she nods, standing back into the stance he just showed her. He holds his hands up again like he had earlier and waves her forward, silently encouraging her to punch his hand. She takes a deep breath before she swings forward again, landing the hit on his hand. 

He shakes his hand out, dispelling the slight sting he feels there after her hit. “Hmm, not too bad.”

She rolls her eyes, scoffing slightly. “It was perfect, and you know it.”

“It was better,” he concedes with a laugh. “We might actually have to get the target dummies out by the end of summer with that kind of power.”

“Oh fuck off,” she says, but there's a smile on her face and no anger in her voice.

They keep working, him making slight corrections on her motion and her swing each time. He doesn’t let himself touch her again though, not trusting himself to not cross the line of their friendship. 

She’s good, really good. She’s small but fast, her strikes not carrying a lot of power, but she could overwhelm someone with quick jabs. 

He hands her the waterskin when they are done, her face red for an entirely different reason as she breathes hard from exertion. She smiles though, and he thinks she might’ve just actually enjoyed it. 

“Same time tomorrow?” He asks her.

She nods, “I’m gonna kick your ass by the end of the summer.”

He laughs, the amusement dancing in her eyes echoed in his. “I’d like to see you try.”

The wicked grin she shoots at him makes his heart flutter, and he knows he’s a goner. Knows he could never move on from the girl in front of him and that he never wants to. 

Chapter Text

Xaden thought he knew what jealousy felt like. In past summers when she would be busy with someone else and that disappointment he felt, he thought that was jealousy. 

That disappointment was nothing like what he is feeling now as he stares at Violet, laying in the grass with her legs draped over Liam’s lap. His hands are resting lightly on her calves, his fingers gently digging into the muscles there, tight from their earlier training session. 

Ever since their first training session, he’d invited one of their other friends to join in. One because they might be able to see something that she could improve on that he didn’t notice, and two because he didn’t quite trust himself not to try and kiss her again. 

The deep, ugly, insidious feeling that coils low in his gut as he watches them. The red in his vision as he stares at the place where Liam’s hands touch the bare skin of her legs. The voice in his head telling him to go over there and shove Liam off of her, to pull her into his arms and never let anyone else touch her.

That.

That was jealousy. 

He’s not going to do that to Liam. That would be crazy. But this feeling, it’s making him feel just a bit crazy. 

It’s nothing Liam hadn’t done for her before. He and Violet were the same age, would have been in the same class had they attended the same schools, and they had always been particularly close. She may have spent more time overall with Bodhi and Garrick, but after Xaden, Liam was her closest friend. 

He watches as Liam says something that makes her smile, her laugh ringing loudly throughout the courtyard. Xaden’s eyes narrow on Liam as he decides to make his presence known. He walks down the gravel path, exaggerating the twist of his foot to make sure they heard him coming. 

Her head turns, looking for the source of the sound and her face lights up when she sees him coming. “Xaden!” she calls his name, excitement at his approach clear in her tone. 

He smiles, sitting down next to them and handing her the pack of food he had been gathering, and avoids shooting Liam a smug look that she was so excited to see him. She was always starving after a training session, each one getting a little longer and more strenuous as she built her stamina. 

She was a natural, in Xaden’s opinion, though he supposed being a Sorrengail gave her a boost in the natural talent department. He had been teaching her how to block this past week, slightly easier on her body than the week of different offensive moves he had been teaching her. 

She sits up slowly, her legs slipping off Liam’s lap as she reaches for the nuts and cheeses he brought her. She flinches just slightly, her shoulder had been bothering her for about a week after they went a little too hard on jabs and punches one day. 

Xaden’s eyes search her face for a moment. He knows that she is going to try and hide the pain, her flinch so barely there that if he didn’t know her so well, he might not have noticed. “Is your shoulder still hurting?” 

She shrugs and it doesn’t escape Xaden that she only uses the shoulder that wasn’t hurt with the motion. “It’s definitely been better.” 

“Do you want me to rub it for you?” Liam asks, reaching around her to grab a handful of her snacks. She smacks at his hand, her eyes narrowing on him as he pops a piece of cheese into his mouth. 

He flashes her a sarcastic grin causing her to roll her eyes. “Well now you have to.” 

Xaden’s eyes follow every movement Liam makes, watches as his hand lands on her shoulder, his fingers digging into the tender muscle there attempting to release the tension that has built in the joint. Xaden feels his stomach roll, trying to swallow around the nauseating lump in his throat as he watches them. 

He meets Liam’s eyes above her head, raising his eyebrows as if daring Xaden to say something before he goes back to discussing something with her that he can barely hear over the roaring in his ears. Xaden knows he’s going to snap, knows he’s about to say something that might hurt either Liam or Violet and he doesn’t want to do that. 

He can’t force her to like him the way he likes her and Liam is nice. Nice to her and to, well, everyone really. But he doesn’t want to sit here and watch them like each other, so he stands, offering up some excuse to get him away from this. 

“Oh, are you sure?” she asks him and he swears he sees a flash of disappointment in her eyes. If he does though, she covers it quickly and he wonders if he just hoped she was. 

He gives her a small smile, promising to see her later before he walks back up towards the house, the sounds of her laugh still ringing out behind him. 

~~~

One person Xaden never thought he would be jealous of was Bodhi. 

Not for any malicious reasons, Bodhi was fantastic in Xaden’s opinion. Of course he was, he was his own family. But Bodhi had everything that Xaden also had, there was just no reason to be jealous of him. 

So when there is an uncharacteristically cool day at the end of July, he almost doesn’t recognize the emotion running through him when he watches Bodhi offer Violet his jacket during an afternoon walk in the forest. 

She takes it quickly, buttoning it and nearly immediately burrowing her face in the collar to warm herself up. She thanks him before racing ahead of the cousins to catch up to Sloane and Imogen, Garrick and Liam even further ahead play sword-fighting with sticks they found on the ground. 

He can’t hear what she says, but he sees Sloane elbow Violet lightly in the side and when Violet turns, her cheeks are bright red. 

That jealous pit forms in his stomach again and he wonders if Bodhi has something that Xaden doesn’t. Something he wants so badly. 

Violet’s affection. 

~~~

A week later, and he’s almost sure his friends are actually doing it on purpose. Trying to rile him up, forcing him to confront his feelings for her. Or at least Garrick and Bodhi are, they both know that he cares for her having been witness to her first day here. 

But Liam. Liam is different. He doesn’t think he knows, unless the other two told him, which means the care and affection he sees in Liam’s eyes is real . 

It’s in the little things, the things that he would normally do for her, that he is jumping in and doing for her. Offering to help her wrap her knees and ankles, keeping an extra water skin on him during training, and when he hands her a small wooden carving of a violet flower, he knows this isn’t in his head anymore. 

He makes some excuse to the group, slipping out the back door and heading to their hill. He needs to clear his head, but also, he doesn’t enjoy watching them together.

He stares out into the distance, the sun slowly setting on Aretia. The sky lit up in brilliant oranges and yellows and the city below is nearly golden. He can’t be out here too long though, he thinks, if the dark clouds in the distance are of any indication. A storm rolling in from the distance.

He’s only alone for a bit, maybe twenty minutes, before she sits down next to him, so close that her shoulder brushes against his. He glances over at her, doing a double take when he notices the way the sun makes her glow. Her skin is nearly shining in the setting sun, and when she glances at him, her eyes are nearly sparkling. 

She takes his breath away. 

“You sure ran out of there fast,” she points out, seemingly oblivious to the fact that he can barely breathe around her. 

He’s silent for a moment because he doesn’t know how to answer her. Doesn’t know how to tell her that he hates watching her and Liam interact. Can’t stand the idea that she might feel for Liam what he feels for her. 

“Do you like him?” he blurts out, cringing slightly because that’s not at all what he meant to say. He turns away from her, ignoring the shocked look on her face. He doesn’t want to look her in the eyes when she confirms his worries. 

“Like who?” 

“Liam.”

She’s silent for much longer than he is comfortable with. He’s sure she’s trying to find a way to let him down gently, to tell him that it’s always been Liam and his belief that she returns his feelings has all been in his head. 

She sighs, “Look at me, Xaden.” He hesitates but eventually turns his head, meeting her eyes. There’s an intensity in her eyes that he doesn’t think he’s ever seen before, certainly never directed towards anyone else. “Liam is my friend. That’s it.”

He nods slowly, feeling a small weight lift off his chest. He moves to turn away from her, but her hand lands on his cheek, cupping his face and forcing him to continue staring at her. “Liam, Bodhi, Garrick. All of them. Just friends.” 

His eyes search her face, glancing briefly at her mouth before meeting her eyes. “I… okay,” he says, his voice soft, just loud enough for her to hear. He continues to stare at her, her hand still on his face so he can’t even turn away if he wanted to. Not that he wants to. He could stare at her all day if she’d let him. 

“Oh for Amari’s sake,” she curses before she’s surging forward, pressing her lips to his. 

He freezes, because What. The. Fuck. 

Violet is kissing him. Violet is kissing him.  

She must notice his hesitation because she starts to pull away, beginning to mumble out an apology. 

He doesn’t even let her get the first word out before he reconnects their mouths. 

It’s everything he dreamed it would be. Her mouth soft against his, the scent of her so close he’s practically dizzy from it, the softness of her hair as his fingers spear through it to cup the back of her head. 

It’s better than any other kiss in the entire world, in Xaden’s opinion. He can’t imagine there ever being a more perfect kiss, not that he plans to ever kiss anyone else to test that theory. 

His tongue gently traces the seam of her lips, asking her permission to deepen the kiss. When she opens for him, it’s awkward and fumbling, so clearly the first time either of them have done this. But it’s perfect because it’s her and it’s them.

And when the crack of thunder sounds overhead, the storm from earlier having caught up to them, and the skies open to dump rain on them, they are both smiling. She throws her head back laughing as both of them are drenched immediately from the rain, and he thinks he could live in this moment forever. 

They both jump quickly, running hand in hand back to the safety of Riorson house. As soon as they are clear of the rain, he’s pulling her back into his arms because now that he has had one kiss, he can’t imagine ever doing anything else. 

Her arms wrap around his neck to pull herself as close to him as possible, both of them soaked to the bone, but seeking warmth in the other. He only pulls away when she shivers, a reminder that they are in fact both freezing. 

She lets out a low whine of protest, clearly not wanting to break the kiss herself either. His forehead rests on hers, their heavy breaths mingling between them. He chuckles lightly, his thumbs brushing lightly on her hips where he holds her. 

“C’mon Violence, let's get warmed up.”

She lets him lead her towards her room, their fingers entwined between them. When they reach her room, he presses another quick kiss to her lips, telling her that he will see her at dinner in an hour. She disappears behind the door, but he stands there for just a moment, a smile on his face, as he thinks about everything that just happened. 

He can’t believe how his afternoon changed. From nearly exploding on Liam because he thought Violet liked him, to her kissing him, choosing him. It’s a better high than the churam Garrick and he smoked on Garrick’s last birthday. 

There’s a cough behind him, and he whirls around, seeing Liam, Bodhi, and Garrick standing there. 

“So?” Garrick asks, a playful raise to his eyebrows. “Who was it?”

“What do you mean?” Xaden asks, confusion etched on his face. He turns, making his way towards his own room. He’s still dripping wet from being in the rain and the cleaning staff will be upset with him if he gets the floor too wet.

“I mean,” Garrick says, moving to catch up with him, “Which one of us made you so jealous that you finally made a move on her?”

Xaden rolls his eyes, but mumbles out Liam’s name. Liam cheers as Bodhi and Garrick grumble, and Xaden watches as they both press a wad of money into Liam’s hand. 

“You guys bet on me and Violet?” 

Garrick shrugs, “It worked didn’t it?” 

Xaden doesn’t respond, ignoring his friends as they dig for details. He can’t help the smile that makes its way onto his face though, because his friends might be assholes, but he can’t quite deny that their methods worked.

Chapter Text

The next morning, Violet is running a brush through her hair when she hears a knock at her door. She smiles to herself, knowing it’s Xaden. Even prior to yesterday, he had always met her here to walk with her down to breakfast before they would split to do their own duties in the mornings. 

She runs the brush through her hair one more time before she bounds over to the doorway, opening the door with a smile on her face as she sees Xaden standing there. His smile mirrors hers, a wide splitting grin. 

“Hi,” he breathes out.

“Hi,” her voice matches his. She tucks a strand of her hair behind her ear, suddenly nervous to be in front of him. She isn’t sure what she’s supposed to do. Does she kiss him again, a hug, just act like everything is the same as it was in days past?

Thankfully, he seems to know what to do. His hands come up to cup her cheeks, angling her face up towards his. Her arms wrap around his waist as he steps into her space, the feeling of him in her arms spreading happiness from her head to her toes. 

“Can I kiss you?” She’s nodding before he even finishes the question. Rising up on her toes, she meets him halfway.

When their mouths connect, it is both calming and exhilarating. The most familiar feeling in the world and still something entirely new. 

If she had known kissing him was going to be this nice, she would've done it weeks ago. 

His lips are soft against hers, quite possibly the only soft thing about him. Her hands are splayed wide on his lower back, keeping him close. He’s not quite as built as the riders and infantry she’s grown up around, but his hours of training are evident in the lines of his body. She knows he will get there though as he trains out the last dredges of childhood and his growth spurt finally settles. 

It’s slow, not tentative or shy, but exploring and savoring. It’s as if he is trying to commit every line of her mouth to memory, not that she can blame him. It’s already the first week of August and she only has about three weeks left in Aretia for the summer. She’s determined to spend as much kissing him as she can. 

Her stomach growls between them, a reminder of why he came to her door, and they both smile. He huffs out a laugh, pressing another quick kiss to her mouth before he pulls back. She smiles when he laces their fingers together, leading her towards the kitchens. 

No one spares them a second glance, it’s not unusual for them to be touching in some way. Her arm laced through his, his hand against her back as he leads her through the house, and even clasping hands, it’s nothing new to most of the staff. 

Their friends are all already there, waiting for them. The boys give them a knowing look when they enter, but Imogen and Sloane barely look up, a half grumbled good morning from each of them. 

She goes to sit in front of the girls, asking them about their trip into town the day before. The two of them went into town a lot, looking for new clothes or treats from the shops. Violet would go with them sometimes, usually if she wanted to look for a specific book, but since anything she bought here would have to be lugged back home, she typically passes on the trip. 

She smiles as Sloane launches into some story about the cute boy at the candy shop who smiled at her yesterday. He apparently gave her an extra piece of chocolate which means he totally liked her and they just had to go back soon.

“Can you not?” Liam asks her from the other side of the table, his face twisted in disgust. Violet smiles at Xaden as he sets a plate down in front of her, before taking the seat right next to her. 

“What?” Sloane protests, “It’s not like I kissed him or anything.” 

Garrick laughs, his gaze landing on where the two of them sit, their arms practically brushing from how close they are sitting. “Right, Sloane wasn’t the one doing any kissing yesterday.” 

Sloane nods enthusiastically, completely missing the glare Xaden sends in Garrick’s direction. “That’s what I’m saying!” 

They eat the rest of their meal quickly, Xaden, Garrick, and Bodhi having to attend an assembly meeting in just a few minutes, and Violet is eager to tell her friends about the day before. 

“Right,” he says, turning to look at her, “I’ll see you in the gym in an hour for training?”

“Of course, I’m just going to catch up on my reading.” Her dad had sent her to Aretia with a stack of books, telling her she had to read each of them and write a two page report on each. Just because he wasn’t here does not mean that she was getting out of learning. 

“And don’t think I’m going to go easy on you now.” He levels a playful glare at her before he stands. He presses a kiss to her cheek before he walks his dish to the sink and leaves, Bodhi and Garrick following quickly behind. 

Violet bites her lower lip, fighting the smile that threatens to overtake her entire face, and feels her cheeks turn red. She keeps her eyes focused on her plate as she grabs the orange still sitting there, peeling it quickly. 

When she does finally look up, Sloane and Imogen are staring at her, both of their mouths open in shock, while Liam looks smug as hell. 

“What?” Violet asks.

“Oh no,” Imogen starts, “Don’t you ‘what?’ us! What the shit was that!” She gestures wildly in Violet’s direction.

Violet glances in Liam’s direction. “Are you staying for girl talk?” He nods, waving a hand to encourage her to start talking. Afterall, he earned money off of them last night, the least he deserves is to hear how it happened. 

Violet flushes again. “I kissed Xaden yesterday,” she confesses in a rush. 

Sloane shrieks, nearly vaulting over the table in her excitement. The three of them cringe slightly at the high pitched noise, but Violet can’t help the smile on her face. 

“No way!” Sloane steals the chair that Xaden was just in, “Tell me everything! What happened? Where? Was it good? Is he your boyfriend now?” 

“Let the girl breathe Sloanie,” Imogen says, “But same. Spill. Now.”

Violet launches into the story, telling them everything that happened from the time she followed him out onto the hill to when they showed up this morning for breakfast. She tells them about that first kiss, where she thought she had read all of the signs wrong, but he had just been surprised. She tells them about how when he walked her back to her room after dinner, he’d lingered in her doorway for so long giving her kisses that she ended up going to bed two hours later than she normally would. 

“Wait,” Liam interrupts at one point, “You kissed him first? Not him kissing you?” 

She nods slowly, “I mean, I kissed him but he didn’t reciprocate because I shocked the hell out of him. The first kiss where we were both, um, actively participating was him.” 

Liam groans slightly, reaching into his pocket to pull out the wad of currency he had collected from Bodhi and Garrick the night before. “Don’t ask why, and don’t tell Garrick and Bodhi that piece of information, but this is yours.” He hands her half the wad before tucking it back away. 

She’s confused for a moment, but doesn’t question it, tucking it into her own pocket. “Thanks… I think?” 

He just shrugs, not offering anymore of an explanation. 

“Was it good?” Sloane asks again. 

“It’s not like I have anything to compare it to but…” she trails off just slightly before nodding, “yeah, it was really good.”

Sloane sighs, a dreamy look on her face. “I’m so jealous.” She backtracks quickly, “Not of the Xaden part of it, no offense but no. Just the kiss part.”

Violet shrugs, she knows Sloane would never see Xaden, or any of the boys, that way. They were basically more brothers to her. “Maybe your candy store boy is your soulmate.” 

Imogen gasps, “Do you think Xaden is your soulmate?” 

“I mean… I don’t know,” she tries to keep her voice nonchalant. In reality, she had been thinking about it all night. The way she is feeling about Xaden is intense, and has been intense for a while if she’s being honest with herself. She’s made lots of friends throughout the years, even casual friendships, and none of them had ever been like her and Xaden’s. After feeling just how right their kiss had been, it made her wonder if there wasn’t something more, something deeper, to their connection. “I feel like we would’ve known by now, but I guess it’s still possible. I’m not worried about it, just enjoying our time.” 

Imogen lets out a curious hum, but doesn’t elaborate. “I’m happy for you Sorrengail, it’s about time you two stopped dancing around each other.” 

The clocktower in the city square rings out, the loud bells signaling the new hour to the entire city. Violet sighs, knowing that she lost the entire hour she had planned to do work but would’ve rather been here with her friends anyways. 

“I have to go, Xaden is waiting for me!” She pushes back from the table, gathering her items and running out of the room. 

“Make safe choices!” Imogen calls, the three of them all laughing when Violet merely responds with a middle finger. 

~~~

Fen watches them from the entrance to the gym a few days later. The energy in the house had shifted over the last few days, and he had an idea of why. He’d followed quietly behind them, staying far enough behind them that they hadn’t noticed. 

Violet had been waiting outside of the assembly chamber, waiting for the meeting to end to walk with Xaden to the gym. Her waiting for him wasn’t anything new, but their pinkies linked together and the secretive smile she gave him was. 

He’s not surprised that Xaden didn’t tell him, he can’t imagine too many 16-year-old boys want to talk about their romantic relationships, but he is surprised it took him this long to find out. Between the other children and his own employees in the house, he usually knows everything that happens. Even the few days he was in the dark about this was unusual for him. 

He watches as Xaden fakes a jab to the left, Violet spinning away from the hit into his other arm that had been waiting to wrap around her waist. He uses it to pull her close, the kiss he gives her is quick before he releases her.

Her eyes are narrowed on him when she takes a step back, “That’s cheating!”

Xaden just shakes his head. “It’s using every weapon at my disposal,” he counters. 

She smiles, shaking her head at his antics before she gets back into her fighting stance. “C’mon, no cheating this time.” But there’s laughter in her tone, and he wonders just how many of their sparring lessons end similarly. 

Fen slowly backs out of the doorway, letting them have their privacy. Xaden will tell him when he’s ready, but for now they can learn their new dynamic at their own pace. Learn how they work both together, and in a few weeks, how they work when apart. 

When he gets back to his office, he pulls out a piece of parchment. The two of them may not be open about their new relationship with each other, but there is one other party who needs to be informed of this development. 

Asher,

The two of them like to think they are sneaky, but make no mistake. There are new developments on the front that is our children. Xaden hasn’t admitted it to me, so I would recommend caution when approaching Violet about it, but for anyone who knows them, it is clear as day. 

We always knew it was a long shot, but I don’t think we will make it until Violet’s 18th. 

-Fen

Chapter Text

September 17th 627 AU

V,

You might already know this but there’s an old Tyrrish belief called “Ghlanadh Suas”, or in the common tongue, “clean up”. It basically means that we should end each season clean, whether that's our house, our lives, or our relationships. This allows us to start the next season with a clean slate. 

Basically I told my father about us. With the Autumn Equinox approaching, it seemed as fitting a time as any to come clean to him.

He didn’t seem particularly surprised, but he was happy. He told me he could tell that I have been happier lately which seems like utter bullshit because I’m miserable without you here. 

Missing you extra today.

-X

October 1st 627 AU

Xaden,

I’m pretty sure my dad knows and has known for a long time. I don’t know how, but he does. He asked me about five times the first day I was back home if there was “anything I wanted to talk about”. He eventually dropped it but I think he’s still suspicious. 

Oh! And then, my mother pulled me into her office to talk about “being safe” in a relationship. I actually think my cheeks are permanently red from that embarrassment. 

But this means they both definitely know. Or at least heavily suspect. 

I told Dain. He said he would help run interference with our parents so we can actually spend time together. He’s really good at it too, it’s one of his talents I swear. I think he actually likes listening to the adults talk politics, even if he won’t admit it.

Solstice gets closer and closer with each passing day. 

I’m miserable without you around too. 

-Violet

December 19th 627 AU

The annual Solstice Ball that King Tauri held was Violet’s second favorite time of year. Summer was always her favorite, she had nearly three months of freedom and independence to spend with her best friends.

And while Xaden’s birthday always got her back in Aretia for a week to see her friends, Xaden was always being pulled in a million different directions, having to greet the various nobles and important people there to celebrate him. 

But Solstice was just them. No nobles who cared what they were up to, no other friends who wanted to spend time with them, and no responsibilities. Just a week of getting to spend time together.

And this week would be no different. 

As her father, Dain, and herself arrive at the castle, her mother and his father already here due to the convenience of dragons, she tries her best to contain her excitement. She’s pretty sure her parents know that she’s Xaden’s… well that she’s Xaden’s. They never had any sort of conversation about their relationship, but she knows it’s only her for him. 

So her parents might suspect, but she tries her best to seem as normal as she can. She doesn’t want to give them any reason to not allow them to spend time together. It’s part of the reason why they had agreed to not tell his dad while she was still visiting this summer. 

They’d wanted to be able to spend time alone and that doesn’t happen if their parents are constantly watching them. 

She stares out the window of the carriage they are in, wondering if Xaden is already here. She hopes so because she is itching to get her hands on him, and she doesn’t want to wait any longer than needed. 

She startles when her father’s hands cover hers, settling the fidgeting that she had been doing with her fingers. She glances up at him, meeting his gaze. He raises a single eyebrow, silently asking her if she’s alright. She smiles up at him, before turning back to look out the window. 

As they come to a stop in front of the king's castle, she somehow manages to keep her growing excitement under wraps. She grabs her pack, waiting for Dain to grab his so they can head into the castle. 

As they ascend the stairs, her father still back at the carriage arranging for the palace servants to come bring their bags to their rooms, she keeps her head moving to try and catch a glimpse of Xaden. 

She doesn’t see him yet, and her shoulders slump just slightly, disappointment that she has to continue waiting to see him coursing through her. 

Dain must notice because he starts to laugh. “Boyfriend isn’t here yet?” he asks her, opening the door to the suite she had been assigned. When they were younger, she would have to share with her siblings, her parents in the room next door, and Dain and his father the next door down. But now that she was older, both of her siblings at Basgiath, she had the privilege of her own space. 

“Shut up,” she grumbles out. He’d be here soon enough. She sets her pack down on the bed, pushing Dain towards the door. “Now get out, I need to clean up.”

Dain throws his hands up in surrender, before he leaves, heading towards his own room to clean up after their travels. 

She no sooner turns to her pack to look for her hairbrush when she hears a knock at her door. She rolls her eyes, yanking open the door. “Did you forget something, Dain?”

Her words die in her throat though as she takes in the person in front of her. It’s not Dain, that much is obvious. The tanned skin, the wide shoulders, that addicting minty scent that followed him everywhere, no this wasn’t Dain. 

“Xaden,” her voice is airy, whispering his name as she stares at him. Her mouth slightly open as she feels the shock that he is finally in front of her. 

“Hi, Vi.” He sounds just as in shock as she does, utterly mystified that she is real again.  

She glances into the hallway, ensuring quickly that none of their parents are around before she grabs the front of his shirt, pulling him into her room and slamming the door shut behind him.

She wastes no time leaping into his arms, her legs wrapping around his waist, as he holds her close, kissing her immediately. 

It’s a bruising kiss, hard and desperate, the months of built up pining being released all at once. She can’t believe she’s gone four months without this, without him. Every part of her feels right all at once, his touch, his presence, calming her instantly. 

She gasps when he spins them, her back against the wall so he can kiss her deeper, the hard surface allowing him to press ever closer to her. He takes the opportunity she gives him, his tongue licking into her mouth as she gets her first taste of him in so long. 

Using the wall to keep her upright, he lets his hands wander. His fingers playing with the bottom hem of her tunic before they slip under, his warm hands brushing against the bare skin of her stomach. 

She lets out a low breathy groan, breaking the kiss as her head falls back against the wall. He doesn’t stop though, his mouth moving to her throat as he kisses a line down her neck. She’s not sure when or where he learned this, probably Garrick she assumes, his extra-curricular activities not a secret from anyone on their friend group, but fuck if it doesn’t feel good. 

It’s more intense, further, than anything they had done over the summer. He’d respected her boundaries, understanding that while the two years between them is not normally a big deal, it was when it came to the physical aspects of their relationship. She trusts him not to push her too far before she’s ready. 

His thumbs rub a circle high on her ribs, just barely grazing the underside of her breast and she tenses for just a moment. It’s enough though for him to chuckle as he pulls away from her just slightly. His hands slip out from under her shirt, wrapping around her waist and he holds her close to him still. 

“Sorry,” he whispers, but she’s shaking her head. She isn’t upset or mad, and she won’t have him feeling guilty about it. 

“It’s fine Xaden,” she leans forward just slightly to kiss the tip of his nose, giggling lightly when he wrinkles it. “I was just surprised is all.” 

The corner of his mouth crooks up into a small smile, “I missed you.” He takes a single step back from the wall, slowly letting her down until her feet hit the floor. 

“I missed you too.”

He full on smiles now, bending down to press one more kiss to her mouth. “Let’s go, we can’t be gone too long or people will start to look for us.”

~~~

The rest of their week continues similarly. Stolen moments behind her door or his, just a few minutes here and there of just them before they have to return to whatever event they were supposed to be at that day. 

When they were around people, they did their best to keep their hands to themselves. They weren’t perfect though, usually holding hands or his arm around her shoulders when they could. 

They talked about everything they’ve missed since they last saw each other. Him asking her what it’s like being the only child now that Mira has crossed the parapet, her asking for all the updates from their friends. 

Tonight though is the last night of the Soltisce celebrations, tomorrow both of them would be on their way back to their own homes. 

She smiles when he approaches her after dinner, holding his hand out to ask for a dance when the soft melodic music starts. The floor is filled with other couples allowing the two of them to easily blend in. Xaden has little care to hide tonight anyways, it’s the last time he will see her for a few months and he doesn’t want to lose even a single moment. 

His arm is tight around her waist as he leads her around the floor. She looks absolutely beautiful tonight in his opinion, not that she isn’t beautiful every moment of the day anyways. 

The song fades, the band slowly transitioning into another when a throat clears beside them. They both turn to look, finding Prince Halden standing there. 

“Violet, I was hoping I could steal you for a dance.” She doesn’t respond, her eyes wide as she looks back at Xaden. He can see the plea in her eyes to tell him no, but this is the prince. Xaden might be a nobility, but Halden outranks him.

So he reluctantly lets go of her, handing her off to the prince before he moves to the edge of the room. He glares at the prince the entire time, just waiting until he can go back over there and get his girl back. 

He jumps slightly when there is a chuckle beside him, Dain Aetos leaning against the wall. “Halden has been obsessed with her for years, not that she ever noticed.” Dain shoots a look in Xaden’s direction, “She’s only ever had eyes for you.”

Xaden doesn’t respond, but feels some of the tension leaving his body. Halden can try all he wants, but he knows that Violet doesn’t care about Halden. And the reassurance from Aetos doesn’t hurt either. 

“I’ll go save her. Bring her to your room in twenty minutes. I’ll keep the parents busy so you guys can do… whatever it is you do.” 

Xaden shoots him an appreciative smile before pushing off the wall. He finds his father in the meantime, telling him he is heading back to his room. With Violet still firmly on the dancefloor, this time with Aetos leading her in a dance, his father has no reason to suspect that they are making plans to meet up. 

When he gets back to his room, he changes quickly into something more comfortable. He’s barely slipping his sleep pants on when there’s a knock on the door, Violet entering the room before he can even call her in. 

He smiles, knowing that with everyone else down at the party, they have at least a few hours before anyone comes to find them. He leads her over to the couch in his room, sitting down and pulling her to straddle his lap. 

“Is this okay?” He asks her. He knows she said earlier in the week that she wasn’t upset when he had his hands up her shirt, but he’s not going to risk her comfort just because he wants to touch her. 

She nods, her hands running through his hair. “This is perfect Xaden.”

He leans forward, his hands on her waist as he presses his mouth to hers. She lets out a happy content sigh and he’s pretty sure kissing her is his favorite past time. He’d live with her in his arms if it was even remotely feasible. 

Her hands slip from his hair, running slowly down his chest. He barely suppresses a shiver as her nails rake down his stomach. He outright groans when her hands slip under his shirt, pressing against the warm skin of his chest. 

She pulls back slightly, her eyes almost a little wild with something he hesitates to call desire. “Can I…” She tugs on the bottom hem of the tunic.

He nods quickly, pulling the article up and over his head, letting it fall on the couch beside them. It’s not the first time she’s seen him shirtless, but it’s the first time she’s been this close when he has been. 

His eyes flutter shut, his head falling back slightly as he loses himself in the sensation of her hands on bare skin. His nerves are on fire with every movement she makes, feeling each swipe of her hands across the muscles of his stomach. 

He groans again, her hands moving further up his chest. He doesn’t even notice when she freezes, her hand hovering over his left pec, right over his heart. 

“Xaden.” Her voice is suddenly serious. His eyes fly open to look at her, because that tone of voice is not what he expects right now. 

She’s not looking at him, her eyes locked on his chest. 

“Violet?” He asks. Did he push her too far? Did something happen?

He looks down at his chest, wondering what she is staring at. His own body freezing, going rock solid when he realizes what she’s staring at. Her hand is still resting on his chest. 

Her fingers splayed right over his soulmate mark. 

Chapter Text

“Violet?” Xaden’s voice is soft, cautious like he’s approaching a scared animal. 

She’s still frozen, her muscles tense as she keeps herself locked in place on his lap. If it wasn’t for the myriad of emotions that keep crossing her face, he’d almost think she had genuinely frozen. 

Fear. Panic. Confusion. Frustration. Love. Acceptance. 

He watches as she flips between them all in rapid succession before starting the cycle over again. None of them stay long enough for him to gauge how she might be actually feeling. 

His hands flex involuntarily where they are holding her still, grounding her back to this moment and reminding her that he is still here. 

Her eyes finally move to meet his, her eyes wide with something that might just be hope. 

“Vi?” He tries again. 

She shushes him, the hand not on his soulmate mark coming to cover his mouth. “I just need a moment,” she whispers. She breaks their eye contact, looking back down at his chest. The thumb of the hand on his chest brushes lightly over his mark, goosebumps erupting across his skin. 

With nothing else to do, he continues to watch her face, hoping for some sort of indication of what she is thinking. Her eyebrows are knit together with confusion, a look he’s seen on her face so many times in the past. It’s the same look she gets any time her father asks her a question that she should know the answer to, but doesn’t. 

It hits him, as he watches the nail of her pointer finger trace the harsh angles of the lightning bolt on his chest, that she, in this moment, knows. She knows, obviously, what her own mark looks like and now she knows what his looks like. 

She knows if they are soulmates or not. 

He watches as her mouth twists into a small smile when her finger reaches the end of the bolt. Her eyes flick back up, colliding with his. Her hand moves from his mouth, finally, her fingers carding through his hair. 

“Come here,” she whispers, leaning into his space. 

He meets her eagerly, capturing her in a devastating kiss. He’s not sure why she’s kissing him, still not knowing what is going through her mind, but he is determined to make this the best kiss of her life. 

And if this is goodbye, he is going to do everything in his power to keep her here. To change her mind. 

He can’t, won’t, lose her. He doesn’t care what some mark on their chests say. He can’t imagine loving anyone the way he does her. 

And he does love her, he realizes. In this moment, with her in his arms and her lips against his, this warmth, this nervous excitement that courses through his veins, has to be love. 

His arms tighten around her, pulling her even closer to him. If he just keeps her here, keeps her kissing him, she can’t break his heart. 

When she pulls away, her cheeks are flushed, breathing heavily. She gives him another small smile, meeting his gaze. Her eyes are bright, more blue than any other color at the moment, and he doesn’t want to look away. 

“Violet?” he asks, his voice soft, afraid to talk too loudly and break the bubble they are still living here. “What is happening here?” 

“Do you trust me?” She asks, watching as his eyebrows furrow in confusion. 

“Of course I do.” 

She nods to herself, sliding her hands from his hair to cup his jaw. Her thumbs gently caress his cheeks as she leans forward, pressing her lips to his forehead. He breathes in deeply, her citrusy vanilla scent that he loves so much, bringing comfort to his racing heart. 

“Close your eyes.” 

He debates not listening to her for all of half a second, wondering what she is planning that would require him to close his eyes. But he does as she asks, a small smile playing on the corner of his mouth. 

The fact that she is still sitting here in his lap, touching him and kissing him, tells him that this conversation, this reveal, is going to be good for him. Going to be something they are both happy with. 

He just wishes she would hurry up so that he can release the last piece of anxiety gripping him that tells him he’s wrong. 

He feels her hands slip from his face, but she makes no move to stand up. He hears the rustling of fabric, his hands tightening just slightly on her waist to keep her steady. She settles after a moment and can hear her take a deep breath, the sound letting him know that she might just be a little nervous too. 

He feels her hand wrap around his wrist before she’s moving his hand, placing it over her own heart. He sucks in a sharp breath when he feels the bare skin there and he suddenly understands what she had been doing. He wonders if she would notice if he peaked open an eye.

“Keep your eyes closed,” she commands.

He smirks, letting out a soft laugh. “How’d you know?”

She laughs too, breaking some of the tension that had been present since she noticed his mark. He feels her hand come to rest on his own chest, his mark hidden under her palm. “Because I know you, Xaden Riorson.” 

They are silent for a moment, sitting there with their hands resting on each other. He hears her take in a deep shaky breath. 

Then, the fingers on his chest tap once, twice, before he understands the silent command. He opens his eyes slowly, taking in the sight before him.

“Gods, Violet.” 

She’s removed the top of her dress, the fabric loose and billowy at her waist where it connects to the skirt, but the band she wears around her breasts is still in place so she isn’t completely exposed. 

His hand, he notices, is covering the spot where her soulmate mark is, just as hers is covering his. His eyes rake over her, taking in the sight of her nearly topless in front of him. The flush of her face that appears anytime he compliments her indeed starts at her chest like he’d wondered, and he watches as it creeps up her neck and into her face. She’s so fucking beautiful, so perfect.

He takes a deep breath, trying to calm himself down because this isn’t the time for his body to be reacting the way it is. This is a serious conversation. This is Violet, literally baring her soul to him. 

He meets her eyes, and he can tell she’s nervous. There’s a slight tremble in the fingers that still rest on his chest and her brows are pinched, just slightly enough, to give her away. 

“I know you, Xaden Riorson,” she repeats her words from just a few minutes ago, but this time she lifts her hand just slightly, revealing his soul mark to her again. “I know you in your soul.”

He lifts his hand slowly, taking his time with removing it until he lets it fall back to her waist. His eyes never leave hers while it moves, watching her expression the entire time. 

He waits one second, maybe two, after his hand settles back down before his eyes flick to the mark on her chest. 

There. 

The mark on her chest, as familiar as breathing to him, has him gasping sharply. 

That’s his mark. 

Her mark. 

Their mark. 

What the fuck ever. 

He surges forward, his mind an endless stream of just Her Her Her Her Her, as their mouths connect in an urgent kiss. His hands splay wide on the bare skin of her back as he pulls her closer. 

He doesn’t actually know if it's even possible to be closer, but they will have a lifetime to learn. A lifetime to learn each other's likes and dislikes. A lifetime to be as close as they want. 

Because she is his. 

His soulmate. The one person on the continent forged by the gods to be his perfect match, his perfect partner. He isn't sure how he got so blessed to be hers but he isn't about to question the gods. Especially when they deemed him worthy of her. 

He can't help it, the smile that overtakes his face, and though it may break their kiss, his lips never leave her skin. He presses a kiss to the side of her mouth, a quiet giggle escaping her. The trail he creates; a kiss to her jaw, the side of her neck, the junction of her neck and shoulder, ends with an open mouth kiss to her soulmate mark. 

He bites down gently, a breathy gasp of his name spilling from her mouth. He wants to bottle the noise to remind himself of this moment when they are separated come tomorrow. 

He pulls back slightly, smirking at his handiwork when he sees the bruise already forming from where he'd bit down, her delicate skin had always been quick to bruise. He'd always been a bit of a possessive person, probably a result of his spoiled aristocratic upbringing, but there’s something almost feral in his chest when he sees the mark he created next to the mark they share. 

She was his and he was hers and nothing can change that.

“Stay,” he says, his voice low, desperate. “Tonight. Stay here with me tonight.” 

Her eyes go wide, a flash of panic. “Xaden, I-” she stammers, her cheeks growing pink. “I mean, it's not that I don't want to, um, someday, but I just don't know if I'm ready and-” 

Xaden lets out a laugh when he realizes the confusion. His hand comes up to cup her face, his thumb pressing against her lips to stop her from her ramblings.

“Not like that Vi, just to sleep.” He gives her a crooked smile and feels the tension leave her body. “After tomorrow I won't see you again for months. I make no apologies for wanting to hold my soulmate for a few hours.” 

“Oh.” 

He brushes a strand of her hair away from her face. “Yeah, oh.” 

She doesn't answer right away, her arms wrapping around her body as a slight chill raises goosebumps on her skin. He's nearly worried he pushed too far, too fast, when she finally speaks. “Can I borrow a shirt?” 

He smiles, reaching for his discarded shirt on the side of the couch they are still sitting on. She raises her arms above her head as he slips it onto her, covering her up once more.

“Does this mean you're staying?”

She gives a half shrug, only one shoulder moving as she gives him a sly smile, her finger tracing the lines of his soulmate mark again. “I suppose I could do that.”

He raises a single eyebrow. “You suppose?”

She nods, giggling loudly when he picks her up and sets her on her feet. She shimmies out of the rest of her dress, the fabric pooling at her feet as Xaden’s shirt lands right above her knee. 

“I'll have to sneak out early so that my parents don't notice I didn't sleep in my room,” she explains as she crawls into his bed. It's bigger than the bed in her room, perks of nobility, the two of them barely taking up half.

He gives her an affirmative hum as he pulls her close again. He tucks her head under his chin, pulling her back flush with his chest. A happy sigh escapes her as she snuggles deeper into his arms.

They are quiet for a while, enjoying the warmth that is each other. His hands splayed wide on her ribs as he holds her close. 

“What are you thinking about?” He murmurs.

She scoffs, “I'm not thinking about anything.”

“You are,” he insists, “I can tell.”

“How?” She asks, dodging his question. He rolls his eyes, not that she can see it from where she lays. 

“Even before this,” his hand moves, his thumb brushing just slightly over her mark, “you always were the one person who knew me best. So you might know me, but I know you, Violet Sorrengail. I know that you've been quiet since, well everything, which you only do when you are trying to work through a problem. I know,” his hand moves again, this time his thumb pressing lightly between her eyebrows, easing the furrow, “that this crease between your eyebrows means you are thinking too hard. And finally, I know that soulmates are a hard topic for you. So talk to me, please.”

She wiggles in his arms, forcing him to release her so she can turn and face him. She reaches out, brushing a lock of his hair out of his face as she meets his eyes. 

“It’s just… a lot,” she whispers. She holds his gaze and he can see the anxiety behind them. “I've spent my whole life afraid that when I meet my soulmate they won't accept me, or like me because of, well, me.”

“Are you worried that I'll do that?” The hurt in his voice is clear, even though he tries to hide it. His eyebrows knit in confusion, unsure how she could ever think that about him. “Cause I would never-”

She interrupts him with a quick press of her lips to his. 

“No,” she insists. “I know you wouldn't. My mind is just… struggling to connect that the one person I've always felt the most safe with is also the living embodiment of my biggest fear.”

He's silent for a moment as he searches her eyes. The anxiety is still there, but just a bit less. Her eyebrows no longer furrowed together but the way her eyes dart around his face as if waiting for his judgement, he knows she's still worried. 

“Can I help?” He asks her finally. If there's a way he can help her feel more comfortable with this, with them, he will. 

The corner of her mouth lifts in a small, appreciative smile. “Just give me some time. I'll get there, but I need to process first.” 

He nods, pressing a kiss to her forehead before she turns again, letting herself be pulled back against his chest once more. 

“We're one of the lucky ones, meeting each other so early in life.” He whispers, unable to contain the smile that crosses his face. 

And they were lucky, Zihnal definitely having blessed them. The likelihood of finding your soulmate anyways was already low. Traveling the continent was not something many had the privilege to do, so soulmates could merely be the next town over from each other and they may not ever meet. A relationship outside of the soulmate bond was common, normal even, though it was unspoken that no one stopped looking for their soulmate.

Violet lets out a loud singular laugh. “Oh Xaden,” her hand runs soothingly up the arm that is wrapped around her waist, “I think we were set up.”

“I- how?” 

“I always thought it was weird that my father, who never takes assignments that would separate him from my mother, all of a sudden was taking a job in Aretia for an entire summer. Conveniently right after we spent a whole day together for the first time.”

“You think your dad knew?” 

“No,” she clarifies, “I think your dad knew and told mine. And now here we are, nearly 5 years later.”

He dips his chin, pressing a kiss to the crown of her head. “Here we are…” he trails off, but he pulls her in just a little tighter.

He's silent as he processes her words. She's right, it is a little too convenient that the first time they speak more than a few sentences to each other, she's suddenly spending months with him. 

“Fucking dads,” he says.

She laughs, “Fucking dads.” 

She lets out a deep yawn, it's getting late and everything that happened over the last few hours has been mentally exhausting.

“Sleep, mo anamchara,” he whispers.

“What does that mean?” Her voice is low, heavy, and he knows she will be asleep within minutes.

“It means you need to practice your Tyrrish,” he jokes. 

“My Tyrrish is perfect,” she mumbles, switching to the language as if to prove a point. 

It's not, her accent is slightly off, but he just chuckles and lets her have the win. That's a fight he can pick when they are both more awake, and they have more time together. 

He settles in then, as her breaths even out, and lets his own eyes fall shut. The warmth of her body, the smell of her so close, a greater sleep aid than anything the healers have on hand. 

When he wakes, hours later, she's slipping out of bed, pressing kisses to his face as she promises to see him before she leaves.

And if he holds her just a little tighter before she gets into the carriage with her father, well no one points it out. 

Chapter Text

Xaden’s 17th birthday was different from past years. It was normally a raucous affair, nobles and royals alike all invited to one of the biggest gatherings of the year, outside of the prince's own birthdays. 

Duke Riorson was known as a tough but fair man, only dropping that role when he was celebrating his son. He always invited everyone to his birthday because Xaden was his biggest accomplishment and he was damn sure going to celebrate as such. 

So Violet’s surprise at this being a family and friends only event was clear. 

She tells herself it's a request from Xaden, that he only wanted a small gathering this year, not the big party his birthday normally was, and was finally old enough for his father to take him seriously in the request. 

She ignores the little voice in her head that tells her it's so much more than that. That the whispered arguments she'd heard behind her parents door these last few months, talk of secession and desertion, of traitors, is just that- talk.

Ignores the voice that tells her this is the big secret Xaden was hiding from her nearly two years ago now. That he's known this was coming. 

Besides, she thinks, it can't be all that credible if her parents are still bringing her to Tyrrendor for his birthday. Her mother not going wasn't unusual, the personal leave not able to be granted, but her father would be there and he would never take her somewhere he felt was dangerous. 

Instead, she ignores the pit of anxiety that has settled in her stomach and focuses on the good. Like the fact that she gets to see Xaden again soon.

Xaden.

Her soulmate. 

She can't help the smile that crosses her face. 

She'd felt so guilty that day in Cordyn, when they realized they shared a soulmate mark, that she couldn't be as excited as he was. She'd wanted to, and even had been deep down, but her head screaming Danger Danger Danger had overwhelmed her. 

But still, she'd let him hold her all night, because really there was no safer place for her than in his arms. She'd believed that before she knew what the mark on his chest was and there was no reason to believe any differently after. 

She'd vowed to herself that morning after she'd kissed him goodbye in his room that she was going to do everything she could to be better. That she was going to let herself be excited and happy about this. 

She spent a lot of her free time talking to Dain about it. She hardly thought twice about telling him that Xaden was her soulmate, she was sure Xaden had told Bodhi or Garrick, if not both. Plus, he'd always known her complicated emotions surrounding the subject and knew what she needed to hear. Knew she needed to be reminded that soulmates were soulmates for a reason, that the gods knew he wouldn’t think any differently of her because of how she is and would stand by her side. 

She'd even had the chance to talk to Brennan about it when he'd been temporarily assigned to their current outpost to assist in healing a few wounded riders after a particularly nasty Gryphon raid. She doesn't tell him who it is, and even if the knowing older brother look he gives her tells her that he knows anyways, she doesn't budge. 

She tells him through pink cheeks that she knows for sure, both of them having seen the others mark to confirm, and her brother has the decency to only look mildly horrified that someone has seen his little sister without her shirt on. 

He tells her though, that this is a good thing, a happy thing. He reminds her how rare finding one's soulmate is, and that she found him so young means she gets to enjoy her entire life with him. That no matter how her mother might feel about it, her soulmate is real and accessible and she can’t take that away from Violet. 

He does tell her to maybe keep it between them though until she turns 18 and can truly make her own decisions. 

Her cheeks are nearly painful from smiling by the time Riorson House comes into view. It reminds her of the first summer she spent here, nearly bouncing around the carriage in excitement as her father does his best to calm her. 

She wonders if he knew at that point what her and Xaden were. 

“Violet?” Her father's voice pulls her from her memories. She turns from the window, her gaze ripping from the house that gets ever closer. “You know you can talk to me about anything right?”

Her mouth drops open just slightly as she looks at him and she wonders briefly if Brennan told her parents even after he promised not too. But her father knows that they are soulmates, so even if Brennan didn’t tell him, he still has reason to be curious. 

“Yes, I know,” she says slowly, wondering if he is about to bust her for being with Xaden. 

“And?” He starts, “Is there anything you want to talk about?”

He knows, she realizes, but he wants her to tell him. Whether Brennan told him or he just knows because he’s her father, he knows. 

She wants to tell him, knows he would be happy for her and supportive of their relationship, but also knows he would be her dad about it. There would be less time alone, she’s almost positive her father would never let them be in the same room alone anymore, but she needs time alone with him. To talk to him, to touch him. She’s itching to get her hands on him again. 

The carriage comes to a stop in front of the house and she can see Xaden waiting in the doorway, leaning casually as he waits for her. She watches the slow smile that graces his face when he notices her. 

She jumps out of the carriage before turning back to her father, “Nope, all good!” 

She bounds up to him as quickly as she can, her arms wrapping around his neck as he pulls her closer, her feet lifting off the ground. She burrows her head in his shoulder, breathing in the smell of him and her world feels right.

She can’t believe she almost let her head get in the middle of this, in the middle of them. Her body feels like it’s humming, and whether it’s from the soulmate bond finally being reunited or just her own excitement, she doesn’t want to let go. 

Xaden sets her down gently, ignoring her whine of protest as he takes a step back. He gives her a small smile, his gaze flicking to her mouth before glancing over her shoulder. She watches as he stiffens, just slightly, before she hears her father’s footsteps behind her. 

“Riorson,” he says, giving him a nod in greeting. His eyes jump between the two of them, noting the lack of distance between them even with Xaden having taken a step back. 

Xaden gives him a respectful nod, “Lieutenant Colonel."

She smiles slightly at the two of them, two of her favorite people in the entire world. Xaden had always been respectful of her father, even when they were kids, but over the last year he had gotten even more formal with him. Always calling him by his rank, making sure he was proper and polite with him. For someone who normally did not concern himself with being overly proper, Violet knows he’s only doing it because they are in a relationship now. 

And he has no desire to anger his girlfriend’s father. 

He levels a look on Xaden, taking in every detail of his face as if he is looking for a reason to not trust him with his daughter. He gives a calculated, almost stiff smile, nodding towards Violet, “Make sure this one takes it easy these next few days? We just got her out of the sling.”

“Dad!” Violet protests, but neither of them look over at her. 

“She’s safe with me, sir.” Xaden takes a chance, risking both Asher and Violet’s reaction as he entwines his fingers with hers. Her father looks between the two of them, his eyes flicking to their hands before returning to look at Xaden.

Asher holds his gaze more just a few moments more before his smile softens, a true happy smile. His hand comes forward, giving Xaden's shoulder a gentle squeeze. “I know she is.” 

He turns then, walking further into the house in search of Fen. “Oh and Violet?” He glances over his shoulder, “We will be talking about this later.”

She nods, keeping her eyes on his retreating form as he disappears around the corner in the direction of Fen’s office. She turns to Xaden, letting out an exasperated breath as he pulls her back in for a hug, his arms wrapping around her as he draws her in. 

“That was stressful,” she murmurs, her face pressed against his chest. 

He chuckles, the sound rumbling deep in his chest. “I think it went about as well as it could, I’m still alive, aren’t I?”

She laughs too, “I don’t think he would’ve killed you, we may have just lost any alone time though.” She tenses her arms just a little bit, refusing to let go of him until she is forced to. 

“Then we will have to make the best of it until then.”

He moves one hand from around her, coming to tip her chin upwards so he can look her in the eyes. “I’ve missed you.”

“I’ve missed you too.”

The corner of his mouth tilts in a smile as he bends forward, giving her a kiss. 

He hadn’t been exaggerating earlier, she realizes, when he said he would make the best of their alone time. He kisses her slowly, deeply, reacquainting themselves with the other. She feels his hand move from her chin to cup her jaw, the rough callouses of his hand a welcome sensation against her cheek. 

She gasps slightly when he takes a step towards her, forcing her to lean against the doorway they still occupy as he presses even closer to her. Her hands roam, moving from his back to his chest, feeling every bit of him that she can get her hands on. 

She doesn’t care that they are still technically in public, that any one of their parents could walk past at any moment, she needs him close. It’s been too long without him in her arms and plans to take advantage of every moment she has to be with him like this.

He breaks the kiss, their breaths heavy between them as he presses one, two, three more kisses to her lips.

He pulls back slowly, his hands moving to her shoulders so he can look over her, making sure she is okay. “What happened with your shoulder?” 

She scoffs just slightly, “He’s being dramatic, it was just a sprain, not even a dislocation.” 

He squeezes her shoulders gently, barely putting any extra pressure on them, “You’re positive?”

She nods, a smile on her face at his concern. “Positive Xaden,” she reassures him. 

He nods once, his eyes continuing to do a once over on her to categorize any new changes. Seemingly satisfied with what he sees, he turns, throwing an arm around her shoulder and leading her further into the house.

“C'mon, everyone is excited to see you.”

Chapter Text

Asher wasn’t sure when it happened. 

When his little girl, his brightest light, his Violet, grew up. 

He knew this would happen someday, that she would fall in love with Xaden. Hell, he brought her here so that she could begin to build a relationship with him, but he hadn’t expected it to happen so soon. He thought he would have a few more years at least. 

It’s the evening before Xaden’s birthday and all the kids, if one could even call them that at this point, are sitting around the great hall, tables and chairs pushed out of the way so they can sit in a circle on the floor. They have cards out, gambling away piles of candies that sit beside all of them. 

Asher is also in the room, sitting at one of the furthest tables. He's got work out in front of him, catching up on a translation project Markham has him working on. The other parents are noticeably absent, even Fen, but he wasn't exactly surprised by it. He knew tensions would be high, what with recent rumors about Tyrrendor, and him being an outsider and a Sorrengail didn't instill trust with most of them. He's just glad that they hadn't taken any of this out on Violet.

Xaden and Violet have the biggest pile, courtesy of the two of them combining their pile and teaming up against the others. Everyone else had protested, claiming that it was unfair for them to be a team, but Xaden had claimed birthday privileges and everyone else had relented. 

They sit together, her sitting between his legs, her back flush against his chest as he wraps his arms around her to show her the cards in his hand. He watches as Violet points to one of the cards in his hand before smiling and sitting up to push the entire pile into the center. 

Garrick curses at the motion, pushing his entire pile into the center as well. The smirk that crosses Xaden’s face as he flips his cards, revealing his hand, is only matched by Violet as she happily takes both piles back in front of her. 

It’s a surprising sight for him, the two of them together like this. He had been ready for something, some sort of affection, following Fen’s letter while she had been staying here over the summer. But then when he saw them together at Soltisce, there had been… nothing. Or nothing concrete at the very least. 

Maybe they were better actors than he gave them credit for, or maybe he just hadn't wanted to notice it, but they had seemed the same as they always did. They'd always been physically affectionate; an arm around her shoulders as he leads her around, their hands clasped while walking the grounds, and hugs anytime they had to part. There had been nothing to suggest that their relationship had developed into a romantic one. 

Until Xaden had proudly held his daughter’s hand and proclaimed that she would always be safe with him, he had wondered if Fen had overreacted. 

He continues to watch them, waiting for the emotions every dad expects to feel when their daughters start dating, but they never come. He expects to feel sad, expects the nostalgia of remembering the little six year old who stomped into his office one day to ask about soulmates, even expects anger at the world for not stopping time so he could keep her little forever. 

Instead all he feels is happiness. 

Happiness that his daughter has found this love so early in her life, happiness that their relationship is easy thanks to the years of friendship between them, happiness that she has someone who will never stop being there for her. 

They look natural together, in his opinion, those years of friendship allowing for casual displays of affection like how they sit now, to be simple and easy. 

Though Asher can’t help the smile that breaks across his face when he thinks of the conversation the four of them; Fen, Xaden, Violet, and himself had had the day before. 

The two kids, looking wide-eyed and a little panicked from where they had been sitting in chairs across from Fen’s desk, staring up at their fathers. It had meant to be a reassuring discussion, letting them know that as long as they were responsible and appropriate, no one wanted to keep them apart. 

That didn’t stop them from embarrassing their children a bit while they had the chance to. They forced both children to sit through a safe sex talk, even though he knows that Lilith already had one with Violet after he had gently suggested that she was getting older and thus more interested in relationships.

It wasn’t until Violet squeaked out, her face blazing red in embarrassment, that her mother had started her on the fertility suppressant after her first cycle two years ago so all of this was really unnecessary, did they relent. 

They sent them on their way with a single rule for the rest of her trip; no bedrooms. 

Asher is brought back to the present when Fen clears his throat next to him. He hands him a glass of some dark liquor that burns just slightly when he takes a sip. It was clearly expensive though, the type of drink one brings out only in special occasions.

“They’re cute aren’t they?” Fen asks, gesturing towards them just slightly. They are far enough from the group that they can talk relatively plainly without worry of being overheard. 

The corner of Asher’s mouth quirks up into a smile as he watches Xaden whisper something in her ear and her laugh ringing out as she tosses a small handful of their candy into the center. Their hand clearly not as good as it had been earlier. 

He nods, taking another drink before he turns to Fen. “Are we celebrating?” He lifts his drink just slightly, wondering why he had brought it to him.

Fen is silent for a moment as he stares at their children. A cloud of something, despair or maybe regret, passed over his face for just a moment before it's gone. He raises his own drink, drinking down the last of it, before he turns back towards Asher.

“More like softening the blow,” he murmurs. 

Asher stays silent, letting Fen take the lead on this conversation. Fen lets out a deep sigh before he opens his mouth to speak. 

“She can't come back, Asher.” 

Asher doesn’t respond, just lifts his glass to finish his drink. 

“You know what’s out there,” Fen continues, “And you know what we plan to do. She can’t be here. I refuse to endanger her life.” 

“What about the rest of them?” 

Fen sighs again, his eyes locking on his son. “They don’t know yet. We have some safe houses in place for them and the day after classes are out for the summer, they will be leaving Tyrrendor. Should we fail, they’ll be safe from our mistakes.”

Asher watches them for a moment more, catching the look of pure love and adoration in Xaden’s eyes as he looks at Violet. He knows that look, knows that the boy in front of him would move mountains if Violet asked him to, if it would make her happy. 

“This is going to break their hearts,” Asher says.

“Better a broken heart than a drained one.” 

Fen stands then, gathering both glasses and striding out of the room, leaving Asher with those final words. 

~~~

Later that night, Xaden is laying in bed winding down from the night. He’d only just said goodnight to his Violet about an hour ago, but he misses her already. That one night in Calldyr, the night everything between them changed, had been enough for him to feel nearly addicted to sleeping beside her. 

He wishes he could sneak her in. He probably could, their parents' rooms far enough away that they would never know, but they had given them one rule and he wasn’t about to lose any of the time he was able to see her by breaking it. 

His eyes are just slipping closed when he hears a knock on his door. He sits up, confused on who would be knocking on his door, before he moves to open the door. When he does, Violet is standing there, a small plate in her hand. 

“Violet?”

She smiles, the sounds of the bells in the city below them ringing out, signaling midnight. “Happy birthday, Xaden.” She holds the plate up, a single chocolate cupcake sitting on it. “Ms Andie assured me it will taste exactly like your full cake tomorrow.”

He smiles, taking the plate from her, “Thank you, mo anamchara.” She blushes slightly at the nickname. He’d caved in one of their letters, telling her what the name meant and he loved watching the little blush that crossed her cheeks every time he used it. 

He looks around the hall just slightly, “Do you… want to come in? Share this?”

She looks around, eyes landing slightly on the guards at the end of the hall. “I shouldn’t…” He can hear the apprehension in her voice though, can hear the silent but in her sentence, and knows she wants to anyway.

He doesn’t respond, just steps back into his room, leaving his door wide open. It’s an invitation to come in, if she wants to take it. 

He turns away from the door, moving to his desk to set the cupcake down. His mouth turns up in a pleased smirk when he hears the door shut behind him, and a moment later, feels her arms wrap around him. 

He turns in her arms so he can face her, smiling down at her. His arms scoop her up, setting her down so she can perch on the edge of his desk. He picks up one of the forks that sit next to the cupcake. 

He glances at her, cocking a single eyebrow at her, “It’s almost like you planned this.”

She shrugs, biting her lower lip to try and suppress her smile, “I mean, I hoped.”

He cuts a part of the cupcake off, holding up the fork to feed it to her, his breath hitching just slightly when her mouth wraps around the fork. 

He’s all for respecting her boundaries, never pushing her into something she isn’t ready for. They have their whole lives ahead of them to explore and learn each other that way. 

But fuck if she isn’t the hottest thing he’s ever seen. 

“Never thought I’d see the day when Violet Sorrengail breaks the rules,” he jokes, shaking his head just slightly to dispel the inappropriate thoughts that are taking over. He takes a piece of the cupcake for himself, it’s just as good as he knows this cake to be. 

He smiles when she rolls her eyes, “I don’t listen to rules I don’t like.”

“And you don’t like this rule?” 

“No.” 

He hums thoughtfully, feeding her another piece of the cupcake. She practically groans. There’s no way she knows what she’s doing, but it’s practically driving him crazy. 

“This cupcake is so good,” she says. 

He nods, taking the last piece for himself. “She always makes the best cakes.” 

He gives her a full once over, finally noticing that she is dressed for sleep. “What are you wearing?”

She full on smirks now, holding her arms out to show off her clothes, “Do you like it?”

“Is that-”

“Your shirt? Yes,” she confirms, a swift nod of her head. He blinks at her, just a little confused. Because just maybe, she is doing this on purpose. “I stole it in Calldyr, though I was hoping to switch it out for a new one before I left this week.”

He takes a step forward, slotting himself between her legs as he leans forward to invade her space. He looks her directly in the eyes, “Oh yeah?”

She nods, her breath hitching at his nearness. “Yeah, this one doesn’t smell like you anymore,” she whispers.

He presses forward, kissing her lightly. She takes it deeper immediately, her hands winding into his hair and pulling him forward. She is perfection against his mouth, the slight hint of chocolate still on her tongue, the freshness of her toothpaste, and that slight something that is fully her. 

“Xaden,” she whispers when he pulls away, his forehead resting on hers.

“Yes?”

“I love you.” 

It feels like his brain short circuits at her words. He obviously knew that they would exchange those words someday, and he’s known for months that he loved her, but it’s still a shock to hear it from her. 

His mouth breaks out into the biggest smile he thinks he’s ever had. 

“I love you too.” He returns the words, his voice no louder than a whisper. There’s no one else in this room but this moment is just between them. The inches between them are the only other witness to their words. 

Her smile is just as wide as his as she pressed forward again, kissing him once again. 

This kiss is different, less sweet and slow like their normal kisses. This one is frantic, her hands roaming his body as if she can’t decide where she wants to touch him. They finally slip under his shirt, running down his abs. 

“Fuck, Violet,” he groans out, following her lead and letting his hands rub up her thighs, reaching the hem of her shirt before going under, feeling the warm skin underneath. 

She removes her hands, raising them above her head in clear invitation. 

“Are you sure?” he whispers.

She nods enthusiastically, “I love you Xaden, I want this. I want this with you.”

He hesitates for just a moment before he pulls the shirt up and over her head. “I love you too Violet. If you want to stop, we stop okay? I won’t be mad.”

“Okay.”

~~~

After, they lay in his bed, his hands splayed wide against her warm naked skin. Her hands run absentmindedly up his arms, like she can’t fathom not touching him in this moment. 

“Tell me again,” she whispers.

“I love you.” He’ll tell her that everyday for the rest of their lives. 

“Again,” she requests.

He smiles, pulling her closer to nuzzle against her hair.

“I love you.”

Chapter Text

May 8th 628 AU

Xaden,

Only a few more weeks before I get to see you again! I miss you so incredibly much. Nothing feels right when you aren’t next to me. It doesn’t feel like it's only been a little more than a month since I last saw you. 

There’s been a lot of rumors around here lately. I like to sit outside my mother’s office when she gets off duty, she really needs better sound shields. They want to move her to Basgiath permanently, they think the current commanding general there is getting ready to retire. It might be nice to have a single place to call home.

I don’t like the things they are saying about Tyrrendor and your family though. Please tell me they aren’t true.

Anyway, this is probably a better conversation to have in person. 

I miss you. I love you. 

-Violet

Violet smiles as she crosses the T in her name, waving her hands over the parchment to try and dry the ink so she can fold it without smudging her words. The messenger rider leaves in an hour and if she doesn’t get it out now, Xaden won’t get it until after she’s already in Aretia.

“Dad?” she calls, knocking on his office door. “I’m headed to the messenger if you have anything you want me to drop off.”

He looks up from his desk, a smile on his face as he glances around his desk, reaching for a small stack of correspondence he needs to send out. “Mailing something out?” 

She nods, a slight blush reaching her cheeks. “Yes, just something for Xaden. By the way, have we figured out what day I can leave?” she asks. Her father usually reaches out to Fen in early May to learn exactly when their lessons are over.

“About that,” her father starts slowly, gesturing for her to take a seat, “We need to talk.”

A confused look crosses her face, wondering what he could possibly have to talk about when it comes to this. She slowly lowers herself into the seat across from him, holding his gaze as she does. 

“You aren’t going to Aretia this year.” 

Her mouth drops open in surprise, the breath leaving her so suddenly. The words hit her so hard, she would believe he reached out and physically hit her. 

“I- what?” she says finally, her voice quiet, breaking on the words. “I don’t… I don’t understand.”

She shakes her head, trying to wake herself up from what must be a nightmare. Because there is no way he just told her that she wasn’t going. 

His gaze softens as he takes in her stricken expression. “As you know, tensions have been… high in Tyrrendor. It’s not safe this year.”

“According to who?” she argues back, “Because Xaden would never-”

“I know,” her dad interrupts his voice with a slight edge to it. He holds up a hand to ask for her to remain quiet for a moment and when he speaks again, his voice is softer. “I know he would never hurt you. But this isn’t about him, this is about things bigger than you and him.”

She’s silent for a moment as she feels tears well in her eyes. She looks away from him, staring out the window at the outpost down below. Her mind races through all the implications of what he is telling her. 

Whether or not he realizes it, he just confirmed that the rumors she has been hearing from behind her mother’s door are true. That Tyrrendor plans to secede from Navarre. Her mind tries to rationalize all the questions in her head. 

Will she ever see Xaden again? Is he safe? What do they do if they are successful, will she be allowed to cross the border?

“I don’t understand,” she says again, still not looking away from the window.

Her dad sighs, thinking carefully about how much he wants to tell her. How much is appropriate for her to know.

“Fen-”

She turns to him quickly, her eyes flaring. “Fen? He doesn’t want me to go?”

He is silent again before he speaks. His eyes wide and apologetic as he answers. “No.”

She lets out a sob, her hand coming up to cover her mouth. 

“Is this because we broke the no bedroom rule because we apologized and nothing happened!” Her voice is near hysterics, babbling to try and make sense of what he is telling her. 

Fen had caught her sneaking out of his room the next morning after her night with him. Luckily she had been fully dressed, the empty plate in her hand, and she had quickly explained her presence away. 

She’d apologized in the moment, hoping to play it off as just wanting to do something nice for her boyfriend the morning of his birthday, and she thought he had believed her. But clearly not if he was mad and was banning her from Tyrrendor.

Her father’s eyes flare in annoyance at the reminder that they had broken the one rule they had asked of them. “No, Violet, it isn’t because of that. It simply isn’t safe for you to be there.” 

He doesn’t tell her that Xaden himself won’t even be in Tyrrendor within the next two weeks anyways. He doesn’t even know where Fen is sending them, understandably so, to allow the two of them to stay in communication. 

“But I have to see him. He’s- I just-,” she sniffs loudly, trying to control the tears that are freely rolling down her cheeks now. “He’s important to me. I have to see him,” she reiterates. 

He reaches his hand out, offering her a comforting hand that she quickly takes. “I know, my girl, I know.”

He squeezes her hand once, and she stands, slipping her hand away from his. She clutches the letter for Xaden tightly in her other hand. 

It doesn’t matter now, she’s missed the messenger. 

She wipes the back of her hands across her cheeks, clearing the tears that are there. “I’m just going to…” She points lamely towards the door.  

“You know where I am if you want to talk,” her father offers. She nods slowly, not making eye contact with him as she leaves.

She keeps her eyes down the entire way through the outpost. She weaves her way through the riders, the infantry, just the people around her. She just needs to get out and then she can cry, she can scream, she can yell. 

She hears someone call her name but she doesn’t respond, doesn’t turn towards it. It doesn’t matter who it is because it’s not Xaden and that’s the only person who could make her feel better right now. 

But she can’t see Xaden. Doesn’t even know if she can send the letter she still clutches. 

She slips out the front door of the outpost, turning left towards where she knows a river is. She and Dain frequented it when the weather was still warm to relax and cool down, but also a place not many others in the outpost go toward. 

As she approaches the river, the first of her renewed sobs bubbles up from her chest, her cry ringing out. She allows herself to freely cry, the privacy of this spot letting her be free with her emotions. 

She falls to her knees, the weight of her sadness so heavy on her shoulders that she can’t stand any longer. The smarting in her knees is a sharp reminder of her pain, both physically and growing steadily in her heart. 

The rushing of the river in front of her overtakes her hearing as she continues to cry, loud wailing sobs. The fat tears rolling down her cheeks taste salty in her mouth, blurring her vision as she stares across the water.

There’s arms around her then, breaking her of her stare as she turns to meet warm worried brown eyes. The familiar scent of pine surrounds her, potentially the second most comforting scent in the world. 

Dain.

His arms wrap around her as he gently rocks her, letting her cry and cry. He doesn’t make her talk, he just provides steady warm comfort.

The whole time she wishes it was a different set of arms. 

~~~

May 16th 628 AU

“Dad!” Xaden calls as he enters the council room. His last day of lessons for the summer was today and he was ready to relax with his friends and the girl he loves. “Do you know when Violet gets here?”

Xaden picks up the stack of messages they received today, his eyebrows knitting together when there isn’t a letter from her. Normally he would’ve heard from her by now, letting him know when she would be arriving so he can be on the lookout for her. 

“Sit Xaden.” His dad’s voice is firm, letting him know that it wasn’t a request. 

His eyebrows raise in surprise at his dad’s tone, but does as he asks. He feels an uneasy feeling settle in his stomach. It’s rare his father ever uses this sort of voice with him, unless something bad has happened. 

The last time his dad used this voice, it was when he told him about the Venin. 

But that had been nearly two years ago with no updates and if he is using it now, there must have been something that happened. 

Had something happened to Violet?

“What is it?” he tentatively asks. He noticed that his dad hadn’t answered when she was coming, which means it’s definitely about her. If she hasn’t written, she must be hurt. 

Or worse. 

His dad makes eye contact with him, his eyes full of pain for the words he is about to deliver. 

“She won’t be coming this year.”

It feels like the floor opens up beneath him. 

This can’t be happening. She always comes here. He’d been so excited for her to be here, he needs her to be here. 

“Why?” He finally asks. She has to be okay. He closes his eyes tight, trying to fight against the rising panic that something bad has happened to her. 

His dad lets out a long breath. He stands from the chair he had been sitting in, turning away from Xaden to stare out the window. 

“Tyrrendor is going to the King’s Senarium in three weeks time to formally announce our plans to secede. If, and when, it doesn’t go well, I will not jeopardize hers, or yours, lives.” He doesn’t look at his son as he says this, not wanting to see the devastation that takes over his expression. 

Xaden is silent for a minute before he finally speaks. “What does that mean?”

Fen sighs, turning back to finally meet Xaden’s eyes. “It means that I don’t expect King Tauri to take our news lightly. It means I expect him to attack us, to try and force us to submit. It means you are leaving Aretia. Tomorrow.”

“Tomorrow?” His voice is near whisper as he stares at his father. 

Fen nods, his eyes sad, knowing this might be one of the last times he sees his son. “We have safe houses for all of the kids of the officers who plan to march with us. You guys will be taken care of.”

Xaden feels his heart crack in two, knowing what his father is implying. Knowing he is being sent away. Away from here, from his father, from Violet. She doesn’t even know what is going on out there and he can only imagine the pain she is feeling if she has received this same news. 

The sadness he feels shifts, changing to anger. 

Anger at his father for wanting to secede. Anger at this continent for producing Venin. Anger at not knowing when he will be able to see Violet again. 

“I don’t want to be sent away. I want to live here. With you, and Bodhi, and Garrick, and Violet, and… everyone!” Xaden fights back from shouting at his father, the anger at this situation taking over any sense of rationality he has. 

His father’s eyes narrow on him, his own annoyance at his son’s defiance. “This isn’t a discussion Xaden. I’m telling you. You will not stay here if my greatest fear comes true. You can come back if he accepts, and Violet will always be allowed here. I would never keep you two apart.”

“But that’s exactly what you are doing now!” Xaden is seething now. He wants to lash out, to hit something. His emotions are running too high. 

“Xaden!” His father yells out. “You will be going. You will live.”

Xaden stands from his seat, the chair pushing back with the force of him standing. 

“I will hate you for this.” Xaden bites out before turning and walking out of the room, leaving his father behind. 

He walks aimlessly, letting his feet guide him to wherever he needs to be. He doesn’t even know how, doesn’t remember leaving the house, but he ends up at his, no their, hill. 

Picking up a rock at his feet, he throws it as far as he can, the primal yell that leaves his mouth expelling the hottest of his anger. 

His eyes slip closed, tilting his face up as the late spring sun warms his face. The chirping birds around him, the faint rustle of the wind in the trees, a cruel mockery of his pain. 

When he opens his eyes, he stares out over his city, his home, his favorite place in the world and can’t help but to think of the girl who should be standing next to him. 

The girl who someday would be his wife, he knows this already. That’s his soulmate, his everything. 

And now he doesn’t even know if he will ever see her again. 

Chapter Text

Violet gets the news two days after it happens, one day before her birthday. 

It’s a normal Thursday by her standards. She wakes up early, attends her lessons with her father, and then at midday breaks for lunch with Dain. It’s when she returns to her father’s office following lunch that she knows something has happened. 

For one, her mother is there. 

She, along with most of the higher ranked riders in the outpost, had been called away in an urgent emergency last week. It was uncommon that they would’ve called that many out at once, which means it was something serious. 

Violet glances quickly over her mother’s form, noticing a fresh cut on her cheek, but otherwise looking the same as she always did. She must’ve just gotten back, still dressed in her riding uniform. 

She pauses in the doorway, freezing when both of her parents turn to look at her. The hard set of her mother’s face gives nothing away, but that’s not unusual, the rider’s quadrant having trained her to hold her emotions. It’s the grief that strikes her father’s face that scares her. 

Mira. 

It has to be Mira. 

It’s the end of the rider’s school year, just having finished up War Games. It was statistically a deadly time for the riders but Brennan had made it through all three years, so Mira had to. She’d promised Violet in the last letter she’d been allowed to send before entering the quadrant that she would meet Violet on their allowed break between school years to celebrate her birthday.

Her face crumples already anticipating the news. 

“Violet,” her mother starts, her voice softer than she’s ever heard, “Sit, please.” Her mother gestures towards one of the chairs in front of her father’s desk. 

She takes slow calculated steps towards the chair, resembling a scared cat about to bolt at any point. She slowly sinks into the chair, her eyes wide as she stares at her parents. Her hands clench tightly into fists, her nails digging into her skin. 

“As you know, last week I was called away on an emergency mission.” Violet nods, feeling her chest tighten even more. “That mission was in Aretia.”

Violet feels her world stop. 

No.

“Xaden?” Her eyes go wide, tears welling in the corners. She may have felt panicked about Mira, but she was terrified for Xaden. 

She’d lived with a pit of anxiety permanently lodged in her stomach since her father told her she couldn’t go to Aretia this year. Her father hadn’t known where he was sent, so she couldn’t even write to him anymore. She’d drowned herself in her schoolwork, doubling her studying efforts for the scribe entrance exam in order to avoid any and all thoughts of what he might be dealing with. 

If she let herself think about him for longer than even a minute, she would break down. Both from missing him and from worry. 

“The boy is fine,” her mother snaps, an edge to her voice that Violet has never heard before. She’s not angry, or even irritated, but there’s something, Violet thinks. Sadness maybe, a weariness not known to the General. 

Asher shoots her a look, a slight admonishment for the tone she used. He stands from behind the desk moving to squat low in front of Violet so they are eye level with each other. He gives her a tight, watery smile before reaching a hand out and taking both of hers in his. 

“Xaden is fine,” he starts, “The battle was in Aretia, but he was not there, you know that.”

She takes a deep breath in before nodding, keeping her eyes on her father. 

“Then what?”

Her father’s thumb circles the back of her hand, the comforting motion reminding her so much of how Xaden would massage out the tension in her hands when she was feeling anxious. 

“The battle was long and destructive, Aretia was burned to the ground. The city was completely wiped out,” her father’s voice is low, speaking only to Violet. Her mother might be in the room, but these words are only for her. “A lot of riders died as a result.”

She nods again, her lip wobbling slightly as the tears fall freely from her. Her beautiful, vibrant, wonderful Aretia.

Gone.

She may not have ever lived there, never having been a permanent resident, but it was more of a home to her than any of the outposts they ever stayed at. It was where she met some of her closest friends, where she fell in love with Xaden, and where she learned the most about who she is and what she can be. 

“Honey, one of the riders who died was Brennan.” The words come out so quickly she’s sure she misheard him.

“Brennan?” Her voice catches, cracking as the grief seeps into her words. 

At the slightest nod from her father, she feels herself falling forward directly into his arms. His hands slip from hers as he catches her in a warm embrace, his hand cupping the back of her head as she sobs into his shoulder. 

It’s all too much for one teenage girl to handle. 

Her brother, her first protector, the first person she would turn to when she was hurt, is gone.

She cries for her loss. The loss of Xaden in her life, the loss of Aretia, the loss of her brother. She lets herself feel every emotion she’s been ignoring. The anger at not being able to see Xaden, the anxiety at what was happening in Tyrrendor, and the overwhelming loneliness since her siblings left for Basgiath.

“How? What happened?” she asks a while later after she has calmed. She’s still in her father’s arms, seeking comfort from one of the last safe places she has. Her head resting on his chest above his heart, the steady beat of his heart calming her. 

Her brother was strong, smart, one of the best riders according to any battle reports she had come across. Her mind struggles to connect that someone so talented is gone, that her brother, for all his training and skills, didn’t even make it a full year out of Basgiath.

Her parents share a look, an uncomfortable silence descending upon them. When neither of them respond, she digs in further, asking again. 

“I’ll just read the official reports if I have to, so please. Just tell me.” 

Her mother sighs, gesturing towards Asher. “I’ll let you handle this.”

She moves to leave the room, stopping just briefly to offer comfort towards her daughter. Her hand lands in her hair, offering a small smile before walking out. 

When the door clicks shut, her father lets out a deep sigh. He pulls away just slightly so he can look his daughter in the eyes. He takes in two more deep breaths, calming himself down before he delivers the news. 

“The official report says that he was shot in the chest with an arrow,” he pauses, knowing how badly the rest of the report will hurt her, “By Fen Riorson.”

She shakes her head rapidly, feeling a new wave of sorrow and panic rise within her. “He- he wouldn’t!”

He would never have killed Brennan. He knows how important he is to her, how much she loves her brother. He would never have hurt her this way. If he was close enough to shoot an arrow, he would’ve been close enough to know that it was Brennan. 

“That’s what the official report says,” her father states.

Her eyes narrow on him. “And who wrote the report? Because Fen wouldn’t! That would be like you killing Bodhi, or Garrick. It just wouldn’t happen,” she argues. 

She’s never felt the need to question reports in the past, but the idea of Fen putting an arrow in Brennan’s chest doesn’t sit right with her. Someone was wrong somewhere. Either who shot the arrow or who received the arrow, it just had to be wrong. 

Because if the report is right and Fen did kill Brennan… She can’t even let herself fathom that. 

“When analyzing texts-”

“We start with the facts not our feelings, I know.” She resists the urge to scoff at him trying to remind her of her scribe training. She knows that as a scribe it is not her job to interpret the texts or reports, but to file them away and learn the facts.

Well the facts, in her mind, say that Fen wouldn’t do this. 

“What happens now?” She asks him, needing to change the subject before she accidentally says anything more to get herself in trouble. 

“The leaders of the rebellion are in Calldyr. Set to be executed in four days time.”

The word executed lands like a blow, but she controls her reaction, not letting it show on her face. It makes sense that they would execute them, but it doesn’t make the news any less shocking to hear. 

“I want to go,” she states. “I need to be there, for Xaden. And I want to see Fen again.” 

“No,” her father outright refuses. “You don’t need to see that.”

The finality in his tone stops her from asking again. Today.

She asks, both her mother and her father, nearly every day, multiple times a day, until her mother flies to be at the execution, leaving her behind. 

Her father is probably right, she doesn’t need to be there. Doesn’t need to witness the executions. 

But Xaden needs her right now and it takes every ounce of her strength to not find a way to him anyways. Her soul is screaming to find him, to be with him, to hold him while he is hurting. 

And as she watches her mother’s form fly away towards Calldyr, she wonders if she will ever have a chance to hold him again. 

~~~

Xaden looks up at the dais, all of Navarre’s leadership standing before him, before his father. All of the children of the rebellion stand behind him, acting as a de facto shield between them and the giant black dragon that glares down on them. Not that he could stop the dragon if it wanted to burn them, but it makes him feel better.

He can’t see his father from here, and he doesn’t know if that's a good thing or not. He doesn’t really want to see his father like this, cuffed in chains, lined up and ready for his death. But the reminder of their last conversation, where Xaden told his father he would hate him for the rebellion, for tearing him and Violet apart, runs through his mind. There’s nothing he wouldn’t do for five minutes with his father, to apologize and let him know he will always love him. 

His eyes continue down the line of leadership until it lands on the figure of one General Lilith Sorrengail. His heart clenches as he thinks about Violet. He’s glad she’s not here for the simple fact that he doesn’t want her to witness this. 

Even if he would give anything to hold her right now, her strong presence is an anchor on what will probably be the worst day of his life. 

His eyes scrunch shut when an order is called out, the dragon in front of them lumbering closer to their parents with heavy thundering steps. His fist tightens around the stone in his head, given to him by Liam and Sloane’s mother right before he was sent away in May. 

The heat flares in front of him as he keeps his eyes shut, hoping the rest of them heeded his advice to not watch. He swallows down a gasp as heat races up his arm, refusing to look until the heat subsides. 

When it finally does, he glances down at his arm. The black swirls that now run up his arm now mark him as the son of a traitor and when he looks around, he notices the rest of the children all carry similar marks. 

As he looks up at the dais again, ignoring the scorch marks in front of him, he notices that the faces of leadership look angry. Angry that they are still alive maybe, he thinks. 

There’s only one face that doesn’t look outright angry. No, this one is… not happy no, more like impressed that they are alive. He looks behind him for just a moment, catching glimpses of Bodhi, Garrick, Sloane, Imogen, and even the ones he doesn’t know as well. A toddler no older than 4 clutches onto her older sister's leg, both standing there with new black swirls up their arm. 

Looking back at leadership, he knows there is only one person up there who may be willing to help a bunch of traitor’s children. 

He needs an audience with Lilith Sorrengail. 

Chapter Text

A knock on the office door breaks Lilith from her paperwork. She glances up, barely keeping the glare off her face before smoothing her face in a mask of neutrality. 

“Come in!” she calls towards the door. She tries not to grumble to herself as Colonel Aetos enters her office, her aide clearly in a state of frenzy. 

If it wasn’t so frustrating to train a new aide on how she preferred her day-to-day to be handled, she might’ve requested a new one by now. He knew exactly how to handle all the tasks she gave him with very little guidance by now which allowed her the freedom to step away from the office when she needed to. 

With everything that had happened over the past two months, from the battle of Aretia to Brennan’s death to now a permanent move to Basgiath, she’d taken more time away from her office than usual. She enjoyed getting to see her husband for lunch each day now, though she had hoped Violet would join them occasionally. 

She’d been so worried for her daughter when everything happened. It was no secret how close she had been with the Riorson boy, with many of the children of the revolution really, and after losing her brother, she had nearly retreated within herself. 

But the move to Basgiath had been good for her. She quickly made friends with others planning to join the scribes, as well as leaning heavily on Dain, and she seemed about as happy as she could. Lilith had still seen those moments though, mainly when Violet thought no one was watching, that the sadness was evident on her face. 

“Sorry General, there’s someone here to see you. He’s pretty insistent even after I told him you were busy. He’s refusing to leave.” The Colonel is clearly nervous to be interrupting her. 

She lets out a deep sigh, “Just let them in.” The sooner she gets her visitor in and out, the sooner she can return to her paperwork. She was almost done and had hoped to sneak away from the office for an early dinner with her family. 

Aetos looks a bit annoyed that she is going to let them in but he doesn’t fight back. He simply nods once, moving to open her office door. 

“Get in,” he barks out. 

She watches the door, wondering who was so bold to try and see her without setting a meeting, and has to stop herself from jolting in surprise when Xaden Riorson walks into her office. 

“Riorson?” she questions, standing from her chair. 

She gives him a once over, taking in every bit of him that has changed since she last saw him that day in Calldyr. His hair is a little longer, his skin maybe a little paler, and he just looks tired. But there is a hardness to his face that wasn’t there before, the result of everything that has been placed on his shoulders these past few months. 

“General.” The curt tone he uses shocks her. She hadn’t spent nearly as much time around him as her daughter and husband had, but he had always been polite in their interactions. 

“How can I help you?”

He shifts nervously from side-to-side, a quick glance at Colonel Aetos who still stands in the corner. She catches the look immediately, her own eyes snapping to him. 

“Leave us.” She dismisses her aide with a harsh tone. He opens his mouth to protest, no doubt not trusting the intentions of Riorson, but leaves the room without voicing his concerns. She doesn’t need Aetos here, if she can’t handle a 17 year-old boy, who is she to be the commanding general of Basgiath. 

Once the door clicks shut, she turns back to him. “How can I help you?” she asks again. 

He takes a deep breath, steeling his nerves before speaking. “I wanted to talk to you about ensuring the safety of the children of the rebellion.”

Her eyebrows raise in surprise. There had been a lot of things she suspected he might’ve wanted to talk to her about when he entered the office. Her first thought honestly had been that he was going to ask about Violet. 

“Are you implying that the children are not safe now? They all have permanent housing.” 

He huffs, and she knows that if he wasn’t restraining himself, he probably would’ve rolled his eyes. “Well yes. They are safe now but what about after. No one is going to hire someone with a relic.” 

“And? How can I change that?”

“Let us into the riders quadrant.”

Her jaw drops slightly, her surprise evident on her face. She schools her features quickly though, bringing her neutral mask back. 

“And why should I give dragons to a bunch of traitors?”

He takes a small step backwards, like her words have physically knocked him over. He drops his head slightly, looking at the floor and taking a deep breath. He braces himself before looking back up at her. 

“I, and the 107 children left behind, are not traitors. My father’s decisions are not my own. Let us prove ourselves to the continent. A dragon would never bond with someone who aims to bring harm to Navarre.”

She’s silent as she contemplates his words. He’s not wrong exactly. The dragons would never allow harm to come to the continent, even if it is just to protect their own hatching grounds. 

“The boy speaks true,” Aimsir, Lilith’s own dragon interjects. 

“There’s no guarantee they get chosen though, or even survive the quadrant,” she argues back. 

“But the ones who do will have a better future than whatever uncertainty they face now.” 

She blinks away the conversation, slamming her shields up so she can focus on the boy in front of her. Aimsir wasn’t wrong though, if they could bond and thrive in the quadrant, their lives would have a considerably better outlook than it does now. 

“Do you understand what you are asking of me?” Lilith says, “People die in the quadrant everyday. There’s no guarantee you will even bond.”

He nods, “But it’s better than nothing.”

And maybe it’s just how similar he sounds to her own dragon. Maybe it’s how young he looks in this moment. Maybe it’s how much some of those children mean to her own daughter. 

Or maybe it’s how much she would hope someone would show the same mercy to her own children if she were to have been on the other side. 

But she cracks. 

“Alright,” she relents.

“Alright?” He looks just a little bewildered, as if he hadn’t quite expected this conversation to go his way. She can’t blame him for being pessimistic, with everything he has dealt with this year alone, it must be hard to remain positive. 

She nods, walking from behind her desk so she can stand in front of him. “Name your terms.”

He takes a deep breath before speaking clearly. “The 107 children of the rebellion will be allowed to enter the riders quadrant so they can prove their loyalty to Navarre,” he pauses, reaching into his jacket to grab the traditional Tyrrish blade he has stored there. He holds the blade out to her, handle first. “A mark per name, if any one of them betrays Navarre, my life is forfeit.” 

Her eyes widen as she reaches out for the blade. She turns it over in her hands before looking back up at him.

“I assume you know the custom?” he murmurs.

She nods, “I’m familiar.”

She turns the blade over in her hands. She’s aware of the custom, but it will be brutal. 107 cuts to a 17 year-old is not a task she takes lightly. 

“In return, you’ll owe me a favor of my choosing at sometime in the future.” He nods, reaching behind his head to pull his shirt off, exposing his chest to her. 

Her eyes immediately land on his chest, curious about the soulmark that Xaden Riorson carries. Her eyes widen when she registers what she is looking at, her gaze moving quickly from his mark to his face and back again. 

Suddenly marking up this boy is harder than ever before. She already knew it would push her limits of what is right to do, what she was willing to do, but now… 

Now he was half of Violet. The one person in the world who fate decided was best suited to love her, to care for her. 

She wonders briefly if Asher knew, it would make sense with how he insisted on bringing her to Aretia each summer. That’s a conversation she can have later though. For now, she needed to focus on the task in front of her. 

His face is a hard mask, daring her to say something about it. 

“Does she know?” 

He nods. 

Lilith is thoughtful for just a moment, pursing her lips as she thinks. “A slight amendment to the agreement. You owe me a favor and you don’t speak to her again.”

His eyes are wide, clear panic in them. “I can’t just never speak to her again. She’s my soulmate, my everything!” he protests. 

“You don’t speak to her until her conscription day,” she clarifies, “That’s my final offer.”

She watches as he contemplates her deal, the conflict on his face as he decides what he wants to do. She can see him wavering, so she decides to push. 

“You’re a smart boy, Riorson. You know she can’t know the truth. Not yet anyway.”

His eyes are filled with pain, at the idea of not speaking to her for that long. She won’t budge though. Violet has no way of protecting herself until she is there. She might not get the shields that come from being a rider, but she will have her father there to keep her safe when she finally learns the truth. 

“Can I at least say goodbye?” he whispers. 

“You’ll get 10 minutes in two days time,” she says. “You’ll want some of these to heal before then.”

~~~

That night when she returns home, images of Xaden Riorson’s back bleeding beneath her knife as he took responsibility for each child left behind playing in her mind, she confronts her husband. 

“How long have you known?” she asks him as she wanders into his office. She’d confirmed that Violet wasn’t around, off with Dain and Jessinia somewhere, before beginning the conversation.

He glances up from the text he is translating, meeting his wife’s eyes. “Known what, my love?”

“About Violet and the Riorson boy.”

He smiles at her, “Oh that? They’ve been dancing around each other for ages. I’m not sure when they finally acknowledged their feelings but-”

She cuts him off. “Not about their relationship,” she hisses. She’s silent for a moment, trying to rein in her temper. She takes a deep breath before she continues, “About the fact that they are soulmates.”

He stills, freezing in place as he knows he’s caught. He sets the text to the side looking up at his wife. She can see him thinking over his answer before he speaks. “For a while,” he finally settles on. 

“Explain.” 

Asher sighs, standing from his desk and walking around it, leaning against the front of it. He puts himself directly in front of his wife so he can look her in the eyes. 

“Fen approached me after that first time we visited when Violet was almost ten years old. He’d apparently seen them interact at some ball a few years prior and had always thought it was a possibility. I didn’t know for sure until the end of her first summer there.”

She slips her eyes closed, trying not to lash out at her husband, her own soulmate. She can’t help the acrid taste of betrayal that fills her though. He’s known for years that her daughter knew her soulmate and didn’t tell her. 

She knows she is harsh about soulmates when it comes to Violet and now, thinking about the situation she is in, perhaps she was right to be. She was always afraid to have to patch up a broken heart, or explain to Violet why her soulmate did not understand her limitations, so she had always discouraged the idea. 

If Lilith had known, she wouldn’t have allowed her to go. Because now the heartbreak is going to be worse. 

“She deserves to know her soulmate, Lils,” he protests. 

Taking two deep breaths, she finally opens her eyes to meet her husband’s. “That may be so,” her words are clipped and tight with anger. “But now she knows her soulmate is a traitor’s son, so really which is better?”

Asher huffs, “Our daughter has true love in her life and you’re mad about it?”

The temperature in the room plummets, a chilly breeze filtering into the room. The hard mask on her face when she speaks again sends chills down his spine more than the temperature does. “You think she will be able to be with him now? Stand proudly next to him?”

“Yes!” Asher exclaims, “I think she loves that boy and I know he loves her. Have you ever even seen them together? He would take on a dragon for her, move literal mountains to make her happy. This unfounded fear you have of her soulmate breaking her heart is just that, unfounded.”

She takes a step back before she says something she will really regret. Because Asher doesn’t know what she just did. How she just spent the last two hours of her day inflicting more pain on one 17 year old than he ever deserved. How she knew this was her daughter’s soulmate and she did it anyway, after forcing him to promise that he won’t talk to her again. 

He doesn’t know that her soulmate will break her heart. 

Because while Xaden Riorson might say the words, only him and Lilith know that it was her actions that will break her daughter’s heart. 

~~~

It ends up taking three days for the healers to decide Xaden was healed enough to leave their care. They couldn’t mend them, that wouldn’t leave the scars behind as a reminder of his promise. But they could make sure he didn’t catch an infection and ensure he wasn’t actively bleeding when he made the trek back to his foster home. 

He’d been worried that he missed his opportunity to say goodbye to Violet, General Sorrengail had said two days afterall, but when he pulls the door to the healers quadrant shut the General is there waiting for him. She leads him back to the main college, handing him a small pack with some food before she turns to him. 

“She usually takes a lunch break in about twenty minutes, but she will stay in the Archives for it. You can find her then. I’ll be back after to take you to the carriage that will take you to Duke Lindell’s.”

He gives her a small smile, they both know he will get longer than their previously agreed upon 10 minutes. “Thank you General.”

The dip of her chin is the only acknowledgement he gets before she ascends up the stairs, leaving him behind. 

He moves to lean against the wall, trying to blend in as much as possible. He tries not to draw any attention to himself, he’s not naive. He knows who, and what, the mark on his arm makes him now. 

The bells chime midday and the doors to The Archives open up, and he watches as prospective student after prospective student files out of the study rooms. He watches as Dain leaves, signing animatedly with another girl, but there is no sign of Violet. He smiles to himself, of course his girl stays in the library for lunch.

He waits until no one else leaves before he silently slips inside and nearly stops in his tracks. It hasn’t been that long, realistically, since he last saw her, but gods she has never looked so beautiful. She’s sitting at one of the study tables, her legs up and crossed with a book in her lap. Her head is bent low, her hair down and creating a curtain to hide herself away from the world as she stares down at the book. 

He stares at her for just a moment longer, knowing that this will be the last time he sees her for so many years. He memorizes the shine of the silver in her hair, the beautiful fairness of her skin, just the way she exists in the world. 

He coughs lightly, clearing his throat just loud enough to get her attention. She looks up, a slightly irritated look on her face that someone would dare interrupt her while she reads, before she realizes just who is standing in front of her. Her face softens, her eyes going wide and her jaw dropping just slightly.

She breathes out his name, barely a whisper, before she’s up and moving. She throws herself into his arms, hers wrapping around his neck as she pulls him close. He’s barely able to refrain from groaning in pain when she brushes the cuts on his back, but he swallows it down to keep her here for just a moment longer. He won’t sacrifice even a moment with her in his arms no matter how in pain he is. 

He pulls her in tight, one of his hands splayed wide on her back and the other cradling her head, as he buries his face into her neck. He breathes in deeply, taking in the most comforting scent in the world, vanilla and citrus. 

He hears her sniff, the kind that normally accompanies tears, and he pulls back just slightly, his hands shifting to her cheeks so he can cup her face. His thumbs swipe under her eyes, catching the tears before they can spill down, the corner of his mouth tilting up in a small smile. 

“Hi,” he whispers. 

“Hi,” her voice cracks as she whispers back. Her hands leave his neck, his body relaxing just slightly as the pressure leaves the highest of his cuts, as her hands wrap around his wrists. “What are you doing here?”

He laughs just slightly, “Not excited to see me?”

She huffs out an annoyed laugh, rolling her eyes just slightly. “I’m always happy to see you, Xaden. I just… didn’t expect to see you.” 

He brings his forehead down to rest on hers. “I was around, I couldn’t leave without seeing you.”

He tips her head just slightly, bringing her mouth to his. He savors the feeling of her lips against his, committing the plush curve of her bottom lip and the way she tastes when his tongue brushes against hers, to memory. The slight whimper that escapes her when his teeth nip at her bottom lip will replay in his mind until he can see her again. 

He pulls away, not before pressing two more quick kisses to her mouth, with a small smile on his face. “Gods I love you,” he whispers. 

She giggles slightly, “I love you too.”

He takes a deep breath, enjoying the silence and peace that comes with sharing space with the person you love. 

“Xaden,” she whispers, her tone just a little more serious than it had been before, “What happened?” 

He sighs deeply, his eyes slipping shut. He hates lying to her, hates hiding everything from her, but he refuses to put her in danger. There’s no one here that she can turn to for help if the wrong person learns that she knows, no one to protect her. 

“Remember a few years ago when I was distant because of something my dad told me?” He chokes on the word “dad” just slightly. She nods, and he continues. “And I told you to trust me, that I would tell you eventually?” 

She nods again, “Are you going to tell me then?”

He sucks in a breath, freezing for just a moment before he shakes his head, “I want to Violet, please know that there is nothing I want to do more than tell you. But-”

Her eyes narrow just slightly as she takes a step away from him. “But you won’t tell me.”

He pleads with her, the hurt that she would back away from evident on his face. “Violet, I can’t.”

“Xaden, my brother died. I deserve to know why!”

“And my father died,” he argues back.

Her face scrunches up in annoyance, “He was important to me too, Xaden!”

“You think I don’t know that? I’m sorry that I can’t tell you. I wish I could, but I can’t.”

She wraps her arms around herself as she takes another step away from him. “I should get back to work,” she murmurs, turning back towards the study table she had been at when he arrived. 

“Wait,” he grasps her elbow, keeping her from walking away from him. He can’t let her walk away from him angry, not when he won’t be able to talk to her until her conscription day. “Your book of folklore? Keep it close and safe.”

Her eyebrows raise in disbelief, “My book? Okay Xaden,” she scoffs. “I need to get back to work, you can write to me when you are ready to tell me what’s going on.”

“Violet,” he calls to her back as she walks away, “I love you.”

She turns back to him, her face softening for just a moment as she gives him a small smile, “I’ll talk to you soon Xaden.”

He leaves her then, knowing there isn’t anything else he can say to her right now. It’s not the goodbye he wanted, he certainly hadn’t expected her to walk away angry with him.

He knows it’s a mistake to leave her waiting for a letter that will never come, but as the bells chime again, marking a half hour has passed and the students slowly start re-entering the study hall, he knows he has no choice. 

He just hopes he can make it up to her when he finally sees her again. 

Chapter Text

January 28th, 629 AU

Xaden, 

I’m not going to lie, I expected to hear from you by now. 

I guess I did say to write when you are ready to tell me what’s happening but if you still aren’t then… it makes sense I suppose. 

I just wanted to let you know that I don’t care anymore. You can write. I’m not mad.

-Violet

April 29th, 629 AU

Xaden, 

You haven’t written back, so I don’t know why I’m even writing this but… I feel like you would understand. 

My dad is sick.

The healers don’t really know what happened but we were on our way to The Archives when he suddenly got really dizzy, lost his breath, and he said his heart was pounding. When he went to get help they just said it was his heart. But they also said there was nothing noticeably wrong. 

Apparently his heart is literally breaking from Brennan dying. He said he started having chest pains right after his death. 

Not that any of them told me this, just what I can hear from under my mother’s door. She still hasn’t upgraded her wards. 

I don’t know what to do. I mean I get it, I miss Brennan too. But I’m still here, Mira’s still here, Mom’s still here. Why are we not enough for his heart?

I’m sorry. This is probably the last thing you want to deal with or hear about considering… everything. 

Write me please. 

-Violet

August 2nd, 629 AU

Xaden,

It’s been almost a year since I last heard from you. Since you visited me in The Archives. 

Message fucking received. 

-Violet

July 16th, 631 AU

“Did you hear the rumor?” Jesinia signs at Violet. They are sitting at their study table, waiting for the day’s lesson to start. Her dad had been meant to lead them today, some lesson on the Krovla Uprising, but he’d felt too out of breath to leave the house. His heart problems had been getting worse over the last few months, his days in bed becoming more and more frequent, and so Markham had been taking over their lessons more often than not. 

“Rumor?” she signs back. There are always rumors here. Between the guards, being around the older cadets in the quadrant, and when they would visit the mess for food, it wasn’t unheard of for the two of them to hear something they probably shouldn’t. 

It was only ever the two of them anymore. Dain had made the decision, much to Violet’s dismay, about six months ago that he was going to be a rider. He dropped most of his study time with her in favor of sparring and strength training. 

She herself hardly sparred anymore. It was something she had always done with Xaden and after everything that had happened over the last few years; the anger at him for not writing her back, the depressive state she had been in for nearly two months when she finally realized he wasn’t coming back to her, and still the anxiety that lingers to this day about how he is, she didn’t really enjoy anything that reminded her of him. 

In fact, she tried very hard every day to not think of him. No matter how impossible a task that seemed. 

“Apparently Xaden Riorson crossed the parapet yesterday.” Violet nearly fumbles the pen she had just picked up. “We won’t know until the official cadet reports come later this morning but,” Jesinia shrugs, “That’s what they are saying.”

He did… what?

No, that’s impossible, she thinks to herself, he’s meant to be infantry. Safe from the dangers of being a rider. 

Jesinia takes her silence for fear, or anger, and she’s not wrong. Just not for the reasons she thinks. 

“Sorry,” Jesinia starts, her eyes full of apology, “I know it’s probably hard to hear his name considering everything.”

Except Jesinia doesn’t know everything. 

She, like everyone else, assumes Violet doesn’t like Xaden because of what his father apparently did to her brother. They assume her silence is anger towards him for what that war cost her. 

She doesn’t know that Xaden is Violet’s soulmate. That Violet still loves him with every part of her being, even if the first thing she’ll probably do if she ever sees him again is punch him directly in the balls. 

She pushes away from the table, standing up quickly. Fuck her lessons, she can’t be here today. Not when Xaden has all but signed his life away in the rider’s quadrant. 

“I can’t do this today,” Violet signs, before she all but runs from the Archives. She doesn’t need to wait for the official report to tell her that the rumor is true, she can feel it in her heart, her soul even. 

The first dark alcove she finds she ducks into, fighting the rising panic. She presses the heel of her hands into her eyes, trying to stop the tears she knows are threatening to come. She takes a deep breath, the tightness in her chest making it difficult to breathe through, but she forces herself to take another. 

She takes her time, calming her racing heart enough to let her move again. She flees to her room, dodging her parents room where she knows her dad is resting. She thinks he would understand why she can’t be around others today, even if they would never talk about it. 

They never talk about Xaden or Tyrrendor or Fen or Brennan or well anything that they have experienced since the end of the apostasy. 

She drops her bag down at her desk before throwing herself onto her bed. She rolls onto her side staring out the window on the other side of the room. She can just barely see the tips of the turrets in the rider’s quadrant from here. 

It’s weird, knowing Xaden is so close and yet feels so much further than he ever has. She wonders what he is up to at the moment and if he is staring out a window somewhere, wondering the same about her. 

October 1st 631 AU

She really shouldn’t be here. 

At all. 

She doesn’t really know what took over her today, she just knew she couldn’t stay away. She sits in a tree, behind where leadership has been waiting all day, watching as the dragons slowly return from the forest where threshing is held, so she thinks she should be safe enough. 

“What the hell are you doing?” she hears a voice hiss from below her. She smiles as she glances down the trunk, Dain standing far below her. 

“Hi Dain!” she calls, ignoring his question. She returns to looking out into the field in front of her. She’s seen some dragons and their newly bonded riders fly in, but not the one she is looking for. 

She hears the rustling of leaves under her and she smiles just slightly to herself knowing that Dain is coming to join her. 

“Violet,” he huffs as he settles on the branch below her. “You shouldn’t be here.”

“Yeah well, I couldn’t stay away either.”

They sit in silence for a while, watching as dragons and riders continue to slowly make their way back. She needs to know that he’s safe. That’s he has bonded. 

She kept an eye on the death roll that would come in each day, making sure he was still alive. Once he is bonded she can leave, she can know that he has passed one of the most deadly times to be a first year, outside of the gauntlet itself. 

“Are you sure we are safe here?” Dain asks. He never had any problem with most of her antics, but this close to the dragons is testing his patience with her. 

“I think so,” she offers him, a slight shrug to her shoulders. “We aren’t in the threshing forest, nor is this area technically part of the quadrant grounds so we aren’t breaking any rules.”

He fights the urge to roll his eyes at her technicality. “You just want to see Xaden.”

She stiffens slightly, “I want to make sure he’s alive, yes.”

“I thought you hated him.”

She sighs, her eyes continuing to scan the horizon for any sign of him. “I think it’s biologically impossible for me to hate him.” 

And she had sure tried. She had tried so hard to get over him over the past three years. To forget how much just being around him had made her heart pound, how safe she felt with him, and just how right she had felt being around him. 

But even still, three years later, her entire body aches to be next to him. 

“But I can be mad at him and still love him,” her voice soft. 

“You can, but-” Violet shushes him as a giant navy blue dragon lands in the flight field. 

She’s not sure how she knows, probably the soulmate bond, but she knows even without seeing the rider that this is Xaden. 

“Why do I have to be quiet? No one can hear us here!” Dain protests, but she ignores him. Her eyes focused on the dragon so close and yet so far. 

She watches as the rider dismounts, stumbling just slightly when he hits the ground. Her breath catches in her throat. It might have been years since she’s seen him, but he is so familiar and yet so different. 

His hair is the same, maybe a little bit shorter than the last time she saw him, but the gentle waves are still so familiar. He looks bigger though. Not necessarily taller, though it’s hard to tell from this far away, but he has filled out. His teenage lanky body no more, now a man’s body whose muscles have muscles. 

Her jaw drops a bit, her mouth going dry as the sight of him and there’s that tight coiling warmth low in her belly that she hasn’t felt, well, since the last time she saw him. Even from here, he is the most beautiful man she’s ever seen. Even from here, she still wants him. 

And only him. 

She went on one single date since she last saw Xaden. Halden of all people had asked, and asked, and asked, until she finally relented. It had felt so wrong and uncomfortable that she made up a reason to leave after less than an hour and no matter how much he asked, she never accepted his offer for another. 

He turns suddenly, his head snapping in her direction like he knows she’s there somehow. His one eye is squeezed shut, a large cut running from his eyebrow to under his eye, and the blood flowing freely. She’s struck with the overwhelming urge to go to him, both to comfort and take care of him while injured and also to go after whoever dared to hurt her soulmate like that. 

A sense of relief floods her veins though when she realizes that besides that, he seems relatively unharmed. She smiles to herself when he turns away, walking towards the role keeper. 

He’s safe.

He bonded. 

He’s a rider.

“We should go,” she whispers, looking down at Dain. He mirrors her smile, moving first so she has a free path back to the bottom. 

When she gets back to her family’s quarters, she goes to her father’s side. He’s in bed again today, another day where the dizziness and his breathing have made it too hard to get out of bed. He’s having more days like this lately, but she refuses to think about what that might mean. 

“Hi Dad,” she whispers as she enters, sitting in the chair that is ever present next to her parents bed now. He doesn’t respond but there’s a light snoring filling the room so she knows he is just resting. 

“I saw Xaden today,” she whispers as she places her hand on his forehead. He’s not warm at all and she breathes out a sigh of relief. He’s not also catching a cold, just a little tired today. “I know you know, but he’s my soulmate. And gods do I still love him.”

It’s easier to say out loud when there is no one around to hear her say it. 

She settles into the chair beside their bed, pulling out the assignment she has ignored all day to sit in that tree, waiting to see if Xaden bonded. An hour later when he wakes, she gets him some soup and they slowly make their way through the assignment in front of her. 

June 7th 632 AU

Xaden,

My dad died yesterday. 

I don’t know why I’m bothering to write this. I won’t be sending it. 

I guess this is just the only place I can freely admit how much I wish you were here. How badly I wish you could hold me right now and tell me it’s all going to be okay. They aren’t even letting Mira come to the funeral. She hasn’t been out of the quadrant long enough to get any sort of personal leave. 

I hope you visit me in the scribe quadrant after my conscription next year. 

-Violet

February 14th 633 AU

“Miss Sorrengail?” Violet glances up from the study assignment she has been working on all morning, making eye contact with one of her mother’s office guards. 

“Yes?”

“Your mother wants to see you in her office.”

She looks back down at her assignment, she’s almost done with it. It’s a review guide for one of the topics she has been struggling with lately, and a topic she knows will be on the scribe entrance exam. 

“Right now? There’s only six months until conscription and I really need to get this down,” she argues. 

The guard nods, “Right now.”

She sighs, gathering up her materials quickly before following the guard out of the Archives. 

As she makes her way up the stairs towards her mother’s office, she wonders just what her mother could possibly want. 

And why she felt like it was important enough to interrupt her studies. 

She takes a deep breath before she knocks on the door, entering when her mother beckons her. Completely unaware of just how much her life is about to change. 

Chapter Text

October 2nd, 628 AU

The return to Duke Lindell’s house was the hardest trip of Xaden’s life. It wasn’t just the now scabbing cuts on his back, the stiffness making it nearly impossible for him to relax, but that final conversation with Violet running through his head. 

“You can write to me when you’re ready to tell me what’s going on.”

He huffs out a sigh as he throws himself down on the bed in the room he now shares with Liam. If it was just a matter of being ready to tell her, he would’ve told her years ago. She could probably teach all of them a thing or two about their enemy, that big beautiful brain of hers. 

No, it’s not that he wasn’t ready to tell her. It’s that he can’t. 

Her mother was right, she can’t protect herself. He taught her what he could for hand-to-hand, but the reality was that she was still very early in learning and, he suspected, she only did it because he asked her to, not because she really wanted to learn. 

“Everything okay?”

Xaden startles slightly, glancing over at the new voice. Liam is sitting on his bed on the opposite side of the room. He’d been so lost in his own thoughts that he hadn’t even heard him come in. 

“Where should I even start?” he chuckles a bit sarcastically. 

But Liam just smiles, waving his hand in a “go on” motion. 

So Xaden tells him everything. Tells him about the deal, the cuts, the fact that they are all riders now, and the responsibility he now carries for 107 children. Tells him about how he can’t speak to Violet for the next five years, how Violet is mad at him anyways so he doubts she is going to want to talk to him anyways. 

And through it all, Liam just listens. He lets Xaden talk and rant and yell about everything that he’s had to endure these last few months. He finds himself grateful for Liam’s presence. 

He’s lucky he has Liam with him. He doesn’t even know where Garrick, Bodhi, Imogen, or Sloane are, let alone any of the other children. He knows the Duke is working on finding out where they have been housed so they can at least send letters, but has already warned them that depending on the house, and how loyal they are to Navarre, the likelihood of receiving the letter was slim. 

“Do you want me to write to her?” Liam asks when Xaden finishes. 

Xaden is silent for a bit while he thinks. It would be nice to have that line of communication open. Even if he isn’t the one talking to her, he would know how she is and that she is okay. And she wouldn’t lose all of her friends.

In the back of his mind though, is the toddler he remembers from the execution. He doesn’t think that image will ever leave his head. The small child clutching their siblings leg with one hand, the protective rune stone in their other. A small child that he just took a cut to the back for, before he even knew their name. 

A small child who is now counting on Xaden to keep his word. 

So he shakes his head. 

“I’m not going to tell you not to, but if her mom knows that we are here together, it probably won’t look good on me.” 

He goes into town the first time one of her letters comes looking for something he can keep them safe in. He wanders the shops before he finds the tiny box, a wooden one with a tiny latch on the front. He places her letter, and every one that comes after, into the box. And when they stop coming, he puts his own for her in there too, hoping he can give them to her someday. 

June 18th, 629 AU

Xaden blinks. 

Then blinks again. 

His eyes have to be deceiving him. 

There is no way he is staring at Brennan Sorrengail. 

“I… You’re dead!” Xaden cringes at his words, not his most eloquent of sentences. 

Brennan chuckles, “I’m sure there are a lot of people who wish that.”

Xaden rubs his eyes once more just to make sure he isn’t hallucinating. “I don’t understand,” he says once he confirms that he is, in fact, looking at Violet’s apparently not dead brother. 

“I did fall during the battle, but I wasn’t dead, just really close to it,” Brennan shrugs, a nonchalant tone that would be better suited towards discussing the weather. “I eventually was strong enough to get to Aretia and I’ve been working with the assembly to keep your father’s fight going.”

He gives Xaden a tight smile. Xaden wonders if Violet knows, he assumes probably not, and his chest constricts at the thought of keeping another secret from her. 

Brennan tips his head towards him, his gaze flicking to Xaden’s chest for just a moment before returning to his face. “She told me you know.”

His eyes go wide, shocked that Violet would have told Brennan about them. “She did?”

“Well,” he lets out a small laugh, “She told me she met her soulmate, but it wasn’t too hard to figure out.”

“And?” Brennan’s approval of him for her is almost as important as her father’s. 

Brennan gives him a real, wide smile now. “She loves you, that much is obvious,” Xaden fights not to roll his eyes. She loved him before, who knows how she feels now. “Just don’t hurt her, and I won’t have any issue.”

Xaden keeps his mouth shut, it probably wouldn’t help to tell him just how much he is hurting her everyday right now. 

“So why are you here?” Xaden asks, changing the topic quickly. 

“Well like I said, we are continuing your father’s fight.” He leads Xaden to the large dining room at the Duke’s house where the table is filled with people Xaden has never seen before. 

“Xaden, meet your new Assembly.”

July 15th, 631 AU

Conscription day. 

The most nerve-wracking and somehow most exciting day Xaden has ever experienced.

He’s standing off to the side of the courtyard, hasn’t even checked in yet, assessing the crowd. He’s already received more glares than most people will probably get in their entire life, but nobody makes any move towards him. 

He can thank Duke Lindell for that one. He had always been in shape, sparring with his friends and tutors nearly daily, but once they learned they were going to the rider’s quadrant, everything changed. The Duke put both him and Liam on high protein diets, ensuring they both could build the muscle they would need for the quadrant, and started their strength training on top of continuing to teach them how to spar. 

So while many of these candidates are probably eager to take him down a peg, the fact that he is nearly twice the size he was at the executions three years ago, leaves most candidates keeping a wide berth from him. 

He doesn’t care about any of the candidates though, he is only looking for one in particular. He should be here soon, his own foster family had reached out to Duke Lindell about meeting in the courtyard prior to conscription. 

His eyes sweep the courtyard again, his eyes landing just briefly on the leadership offices separated from the rest of the college. He knows that’s where Violet is, or should be. He wonders briefly if she is here, hiding somewhere looking for him just as much as he is looking for her. He almost hopes not, he doesn’t think he could keep his word if he actually saw her after all these years. 

Xaden jumps, his hands flying to a dagger at his side, when a hand lands on his shoulder from behind him. He whirls, ready to fight off the would-be attacker, when he is greeted with the most welcome sight in the world. Warm hazel eyes meet his and he breathes out a sigh of relief.

Garrick.

He’s immediately pulled into a hug, his best friend wrapping his arms around him. It’s the first time they’ve seen each other since their parents were killed three years ago and he has missed him so much. He’s happy to see him alive and healthy, and clearly he has also been honed to peak physicality in preparation for the quadrant. 

He’s also bigger than Xaden remembers, potentially even more than Xaden himself. He’s happy that he was prepared for the quadrant too, so hopefully he doesn’t get targeted too much in there. 

“It is so good to see you,” Garrick says after he releases Xaden. 

“Likewise,” Xaden says as they begin to make their way over to the roll keeper, “Are you ready?”

Garrick takes a big breath, “Let’s give them hell.”

October 1st, 631 AU

The wind on his face offers a little relief from the heat that courses through his veins, the adrenaline of threshing beginning to wear off. 

It had been a long day, a tough day. He knows they aren’t anywhere near the end of the pack when it comes to returning, but it feels like it’s been hours. Between finding his own dragon and everything that had happened with Alic and Garrick, he’s absolutely ready to fall into bed tonight. 

“Keep focused, Little Rebel,” Sgaeyl says to him. 

Sgaeyl. His dragon.

He has a dragon now. 

He can protect people now, his people. He can protect Violet now, if she even wants to talk to him again. 

“I’m not that little,” Xaden argues back. 

He swears she would roll her eyes, if that’s a thing dragons could do. “All humans are little.”

She circles the flight field, once, twice, before landing, the rest of the dragons giving her a wide berth. She’s huge, compared to most of the other dragons, and the only blue in this year's threshing. 

He’d recognized her immediately during Presentation a few days ago. He didn’t have a lot of records of his grandfather who had died in the quadrant, but he did know that Sgaeyl had been his. 

And now she was Xaden’s. Or Xaden was hers. Somehow both are true at the same time. 

He dismounts, stumbling slightly from being off balance due to only having use of one of his eyes at the moment. The quick slash she’d given him, cutting through his eyebrow to below his eye, was mostly superficial having missed his eye. But it was still bleeding enough to force it closed. 

“There’s a girl staring at us from those trees,” Sgaeyl turns her body just slightly, as if she plans to investigate the intruder. His head snaps up in the direction she points out, and though he can’t see her, the leaves blocking out most of her form, he knows it’s Violet. 

“That’s Violet.” The memories of her fly through his mind and even if he doesn’t mean to share them, he’s sure that she knows what Violet is to him now. 

Sgaeyl lets out a tiny blast of steam, grunting from beside him. “Your mate is reckless.”

“She’s not mine, not anymore.”

He turns away from the trees, heading towards the roll keeper so he can officially claim his bond with Sgaeyl. There’s a small smile playing at the corner of his lips though. She might be pissed at him, might even hate him for his actions these past few years. 

But she still loves him. 

She wouldn’t be here if she didn’t. And that knowledge is enough to keep him going until he can see her again. 

March 14th, 632 AU

This is quite possibly the dumbest thing Xaden has ever done. And he’s done a lot of dumb things in his life.

Really though, it’s Sgaeyl’s fault. 

When he woke up in the middle of the night, his skin flush and heated with the pure need and want pumping through him and harder than a fucking rock, he moved without thinking. Kaori had warned him about this, about the mating patterns of dragons, and how it can affect them if he doesn’t have strong shields on nights that she forgets to shield. 

Clearly though, his shields are not strong enough yet.

His shadows wrap around him, his power still something he is working to control, but he can do this at least. He lets his instincts take over, he really doesn’t even know where to go, but he lets his feet just lead him. 

He sneaks into the main college, up the stairs, and keeps himself out of sight of any of the guards who might be around. He stops in front of a door and he might have never been here before, but he knows. 

This is Violet’s room. 

He raises his fist, seconds away from knocking on her door when his brain finally catches up with his actions. 

He can’t fucking be here. 

Firstly, because he barely even remembers coming here himself. That doesn’t exactly speak to his own ability to consent to anything right now.

Secondly, he literally can’t be here. There’s only about a year and a half left until her own conscription day. He can’t fuck this up now. 

And thirdly, what a fucking message that would send. “Hi Violet,” he mocks himself in his head as he turns away from his almost mistake. He needs to get out of here before another wave of lust hits him and he doesn’t have the clarity to walk away. “I know I haven’t spoken to you in years but my dragon has made it nearly impossible to resist you so here I am at your door.”

He shakes his head as he makes his way back to his own room. He is already going to have to fight to get her back when she is here, he’s not going to make it even worse by doing this. 

He sends a wave of annoyance in Sgaeyl’s direction, not that she is paying attention right now, and resolves to get better shields to avoid making another mistake like this. 

September 29th, 632 AU

RSC is going to be the death of Xaden. 

If it’s not wandering aimlessly through the woods with Prince Halden’s squad of all squads, it’s interrogation. 

Though he thinks he might prefer the interrogation. At least the stupid prince isn’t gloating in Xaden’s face about how often he gets to see Violet. 

And Xaden knows the prick is just talking out of his ass, knows he’s just trying to rile him up, thanks to his second signet. But gods damn if it doesn’t almost work every time. 

He’s lucky they found the extraction point when they did or else he might have been missing a few of his perfectly white teeth, and his nose might have been just a bit crooked. Because the prick hadn’t been lying when he said he took her on a date. 

Something he plans to have strong words about when he is finally allowed to speak to her again. 

But now as he sits around the interrogation room, his squad in a circle around him, they are all staring at him. 

Right. Because he’s the squad leader. 

“Your turn, Xade,” He tries not to flinch at the stupid nickname. No matter how many times he tells her that he doesn’t want to be called that, she never stops. 

His squad is some of the only people he trusts outside of the other marked ones. And even then, he only trusts them not to kill him. His squad consists of Mason who is one of the marked ones, Aaron, Sarah, and Aspen. 

Aaron and Sarah mostly kept to themselves when it came to Xaden. They were never outright hostile towards him, but it was clear they were never going to be close allies or friends. 

He trusted Mason already with his life, carrying many of the same secrets that Xaden did. 

And Aspen, she was a pain in Xaden’s ass. She was nice, and honestly he didn’t hate her. The problem was that she was just a little too much like Violet and he hated the reminder. She was smart, the smartest on the squad actually, and had never been intimidated by him. She started calling him Xade the day of conscription and never stopped. 

He huffs out a breath as he thinks, trying to think of some personal secret detail that wouldn’t jeopardize everyone and everything. Something that isn’t so base level that his squad loses respect for him, but also something broad enough that even if they tell others, it won’t compromise anyone. 

“I met my soulmate when I was 10 years old.”

Everyone’s head whips towards him. 

“You did?” Mason asks.

“How?” Sarah questions. 

“Oh I bet she’s so amazing,” Aspen says, a dreamy far away look in her eyes. One thing Xaden had learned quickly about her, is that she loves soulmates. Somehow more than he had when he was a kid. Anytime someone in the quadrant met their soulmate, she was right there celebrating them.

Xaden just smiles though, keeping the details to himself. They can know she exists, can even know that he knows her, but they don’t need to know anything else that could potentially link him to her. 

Countless hours later, when their interrogators have finally left, and all five of them are bleeding and bruised, Aspen turns to him. 

“Can you tell me about her?” she whispers, her voice hoarse from her screams of pain. 

And maybe it’s because he has been knocked over the head a few too many times, or maybe he just wants to distract himself from the pain that floods every inch of him, but he indulges her request. 

“She’s… brilliant. The smartest person I’ve ever met,” he starts, a small smile on his face despite everything he has just experienced, “She’s going to be a scribe and I’ll finally get to see her again next year during her conscription.”

He’s been counting down the days since this year's conscription passed, knowing he only had one year until he saw her. 

“She’s determined, and stubborn, probably the most stubborn person I’ve ever met,” he laughs just slightly, “And she is probably the strongest person I’ve ever met.”

“She sounds amazing,” Aspen says. 

He nods, “She is.”

And when they read her name off the death roll the next day, an unfortunate result of them pushing a cadet too far in these moments, he’s happy he told her. Happy he was able to give her that one last moment of happiness. 

July 8th, 633 AU

Xaden has practically been buzzing with excitement for the past week, and it’s only getting stronger as they get closer and closer to Violet’s conscription day. Plus he is now a wing leader, the announcement came out last night, which lets him move even more freely around the quadrant. 

“Wing- er Squad leader Riorson!” A gangly first year approaches Xaden as he eats his breakfast. He’s pretty sure the cadet is unbonded, which would make sense just based on the way the guy doesn’t look like he could stay on a stationary dragon. 

Xaden looks up from his plate, meeting the first year’s eyes. 

“Uhh… General Sorrengail wants to see you in her office right away, sir.”

He nods, gathering up his belongings and following the first year out of the mess. 

“Xaden!” 

He pauses momentarily as Garrick comes running down the hall, stopping at his side. He’s clutching a letter in his hand, a frantic look in his eyes. 

“I need to talk to you about something,” he holds the letter out just slightly. Brennan must have written them about the next movement of weapons.

“I have to go meet the General,” Xaden barely hides the disgust in his voice, “Talk to me after.”

“But you really need to know-” Garrick tries again, but is cut off when Xaden sends a glare in his direction. 

“Later. Garrick.”

Garrick lets out a groan but nods, “I’ll be in your room.”

Xaden follows the first year the rest of the way, waiting for what feels like hours before General Sorrengail calls him in. 

“So, Riorson. I'm calling in that favor you owe me.”

Chapter Text

“You want me to do what?” Violet asks, her jaw slightly slackened in shock. She’s sure she looks every bit surprised as she feels. 

“Not want, are,” her mother replies. “You are joining the rider’s quadrant in July.”

Violet’s mouth opens and closes a few times, no words coming out. Her mind races, wondering just how the hell she got to this point. 

She hadn’t been sure what her mother would have wanted to speak with her about when she got called to her office, it wasn’t like she regularly spoke to Violet anymore anyways. Ever since her father passed, their relationship was held primarily in the moments at night, both of them sitting around the dinner table. It was silent, the type of silence that comes with loss when you realize that the only reason you had a relationship was because of someone else. 

And it was lonely. 

The loud rambunctious household of her youth, between her and her siblings running around and her father indulging in all their fantasies, was simply just a memory now. A moment in time that she can never go back to. 

Her mind flashes just briefly to all the people she wishes were still here; Mira, Dain, Brennan, Dad, Imogen, Sloane, Garrick, Liam, Bodhi, Fen… Xaden.

Nope, she thinks to herself, closing the door on the rise of emotion that threatens to overcome her, I will not go there.

She blinks rapidly, realizing her mother is still staring at her. “But I can’t be a rider,” she fights back. 

“And why not?”

“Because I’m not a fighter!” That’s not entirely true, Xaden taught her all those years ago. But she hasn’t kept up with it and she’s pretty sure the first time she steps onto a mat with someone who isn’t her soulmate, she’s done for. 

Her mother scoffs, rolling her eyes. “You’ll learn.” 

She dismisses Violet without another word, silently handing over a new daily schedule for Violet. There’s endurance and weapons training on alternate mornings followed by sparring with Major Gillstead in the afternoon nearly everyday until July. 

She silently crumples the schedule in her hand as she makes her way back to her bedroom. Rage courses through her, fueling her pathway forward. How dare her mother do this to her, she thinks, how dare she dishonor her father’s memory by erasing everything he had trained her to be. 

When she makes it back to her room, she slams the door shut and makes her way over to her desk. Turning her pack upside down, she dumps the contents all over her desk. One by one, she goes through her things, throwing study sheet after study sheet in the trash. 

It’s not like she needs them anymore. 

She sits at her desk when she finishes, twirling a quill in her hand as she thinks about her options. 

She could flat out refuse, defy her mother and still join the scribes. She could follow the path she always dreamed of. The path her father trained her for. She wonders briefly if there is actually anything her mother could do if she ignored her proclamation and took the entrance exam for the scribes. Though, being the general of Basgiath, there was probably a lot she could do about it. 

Her eyes drift out the window near her desk where she can just barely make out the rider’s quadrant. 

Or, a tiny voice in her head whispers, you can prove everyone wrong and become a rider.

A corner of her mouth lifts into a small smile. She has to admit, the idea of crossing the parapet, getting her own dragon, and showing everyone just how strong she actually can be, sounds very intriguing. And terrifying. 

She uncrinkles the schedule, laying it flat in front of her. Staring at it for just a moment before looking back out her window, she nods to herself. 

She can do this.

~~~

Committing to the rider’s quadrant was much easier said than done. 

The first week of her new training schedule was probably the most pain she has ever been in throughout her entire life. Every muscle burned, sore as all hell, and making it nearly impossible to move by the end of the week. 

The new regime kept her exhausted too. She never really had issues with sleep before, but the deep tiredness that had settled into her body made it so she fell immediately asleep each night.

Slowly but surely though, she got better. 

Her muscles got stronger, or well stronger than they had been, and her skills with various weapons got better. It turns out she’s fast, wicked fast, and her skills with a dagger were nothing to laugh at. Her hand-to-hand skills even improved, though not as much. 

Major Gilstead was a little too afraid to hurt her that he didn’t push her as much as Xaden had when he was teaching. 

Today though is her twentieth birthday, making her just barely eligible for conscription this year. Major Gilstead, with just a little convincing, allowed her to skip all her training for the day to allow her to celebrate. 

Not that she has anyone really to celebrate with. She talks to Jesinia when she can, but her training schedule leaves little time for friendships. Dain is in the quadrant already, and all her other friends, well, she’s not even sure if she can consider them friends anymore.

She sits in the courtyard, right outside the front gates to Basgiath, staring up at the parapet. In just a little over ten days, she will be crossing the stone bridge, trying to make a name for herself as a rider. 

She wonders briefly how Xaden will feel when he sees her. She’s not even sure how she will feel when she sees him. 

Excited, maybe a little bit. Angry, for sure.

The idea of writing to him, letting him know she’s coming crosses her mind. It’s not the first time she’s thought about it, but the pain of him never writing her back four years ago is enough to stop her. 

She feels weird not letting someone know she’s coming though. Dain, she thinks, Dain deserves to know if nobody else does. 

But Dain is in his first year, which means he can’t get any mail. Bodhi would pass on a letter if she asked him to, but he’s also a first year so he can’t get letters either. The idea of asking Xaden to pass on a letter feels wrong and Liam isn’t even in the quadrant. 

But there is someone.

She pulls a piece of parchment out of her pack and begins to write. 

Garrick,

Umm. Hi I guess.

It’s been a while. 

I’m not going to tell you not to tell Xaden, because I know you will. But I need you to pass on a message to Dain. 

Can you tell him that my mother is forcing me into the quadrant? Tell him that I’ll be crossing the parapet in just a few days' time. 

I guess I’ll see you soon. 

-Violet

She drops it at the messengers as he makes her way back to her room and hopes he gets it in time. 

~~~

She wakes up the morning of conscription nervous as hell. Last week, she was confident that she could do this but now that the idea of actually climbing that turret, and having to make the journey across is real, she’s not so sure.

She has decent balance, but the dark clouds that have slowly settled in the sky above them and threaten to dump rain on them, makes the idea of crossing that much harder. 

She picks up the heavy pack she spent all night making and slings it onto her back. The straps immediately dig into her shoulder, but she will have to make it work. She needs everything in there, books, clothes, wraps, everything. 

Violet lets out a deep breath before leaving the safety of her bedroom. She glances around, knowing it just might be the last time she ever sets foot in this room before shutting the door behind her. 

Slowly she makes her way up the winding staircase to her mother’s office. She’s not sure what to say to her mother, but a goodbye feels appropriate. 

Just in case. 

As she gets closer, she can hear loud voices from her mother’s office and she has to nearly fight off a smile when she recognizes the other voice. 

She yanks open the door, not even caring if she does end up grinning like a fool when she takes in the sight of her sister. It’s been too long since she was able to see her and the knowledge that she gets to see her today, brings her just a small comfort. 

“Violet!” Her sister calls, returning Violet’s smile. 

“Hi, Mira,” she says, jostling her pack to try and relieve the weight on her shoulders. It might be just a little too heavy, but she needs everything in it. 

Mira scoffs, turning back to her mother, “She can barely carry her pack and you want to put her in the rider’s quadrant.”

The joy of seeing her sister sours quickly at the notion that her sister doesn’t believe she can do this. The smile slips from Violet’s face, a scowl replacing it. 

“I can do this!” she insists. 

Mira and her mother ignore her protests, continuing their own conversation. 

“Violet will be fine, she deals with more pain in one day than you or I ever do. She’s resilient,” her mother says. If Violet didn’t know any better, she’d think her mom was almost proud of her, or at least respected her. 

The two of them stare at each other, Mira having no way to convince her otherwise. She blows out an annoyed sigh before turning away from their mother and stomping out the door. Violet stands there, wide-eyed for just a moment before she looks at her mother. 

“Do you feel ready?” her mother asks. 

Violet shrugs, “As ready as I can be.” 

Her mother nods, “You’re a Sorrengail, you’ll be fine.”

An awkward silence falls between them, neither of them quite sure how to be in the other's presence. The bells outside chime, signaling one hour before the official start of conscription day. 

“I suppose I should…” Violet’s voice trails off as she looks towards the door her sister just came out of. She stands, slowly making her way towards the door. 

“Violet,” her mother says before she can fully leave the room, “I’ll see you at threshing.”

Violet nods, before she shuts the door behind her. She smiles just slightly, she’s pretty sure her mother just told her that she believed in her. If she expects to see her at threshing, she expects her to make it. 

She’s barely taken a step away from her mother’s office before Mira grabs her by the elbow. She leads Violet silently back to her room, pulling her inside. 

“Give me your pack.” She holds her hand out, waiting for Violet to hand it over. 

Violet watches helplessly as Mira dumps everything out of her pack, despite her protests. Mira thrusts clothes at her, hurriedly forcing her to change while Mira reworks her pack. 

“Do you really need all of these books?” Mira calls at her through the bathing chamber door. 

“Yes!” Violet calls, “Some of them are important!”

“The Fables of The Barren, your old storybook is important?”

Violet is quiet for just a moment, some of Xaden’s final words flashing through her mind, urging her to keep her book close to her. “I mean, I want it.”

Mira rolls her eyes before tossing it to the side, “Not good enough, sorry.”

Violet sighs, but lets her leave the book behind, even as she wonders if it’s a mistake. Mira forces her to sit in front of her, gently running a brush through her hair as she begins to weave a braid. 

“Those boots I gave you will help keep you from slipping, especially in this rain, the ones you had before had slick soles, you would’ve fallen immediately,” Violet attempts to nod, only to wince when Mira’s grip on her hair tightens to keep her from moving, “Keep your arms out for balance and if you begin to lose your pack, just let it go. Better it than you.”

“I know, Mira. I’m ready.”

She finishes the braid, gently bringing Violet to stand. She cups her face, forcing Violet to stare into her eyes. 

“I love you, Violet. Please don’t die.”

The fear, the desperation in Mira’s voice is the only thing keeping her from giving some sarcastic response. She smiles just slightly, her eyes threatening to water at the idea of leaving her sister behind. 

“I’m ready Mira, I’ve practiced,” she repeats. She knows her sister is nervous for her though, so she will offer her as many reassurances as she needs. 

Mira searches her face for just a moment, her eyes widening just slightly at the confidence on Violet’s face. The bells sound outside, signaling the start of conscription. 

Both of their heads whip to look out the window, the crowd of conscripts growing quickly with the start of the day. 

“We need to go, I’ll walk you to the line.”

They walk without speaking, letting the chatter of the others around them fill their silence. They stride towards the end of the line where a scribe waits with two other riders taking the names of the candidates before they begin to climb the turret. Violet takes stock of the two riders, noticing that one of them has a rebellion relic. She regretted never asking Xaden about his, but there had been so much going on during that last conversation with him that it had been the last thing on her mind. 

“Are you prepared to see Xaden?” Mira murmurs, keeping her questions between them. They are standing at the table, Violet picking up the quill to write her name on the parchment in front of her.

Violet freezes just barely before she continues signing her name. “Not at all.”

“You should try and stay away from him, if you can. People are already going to give you a hard time because of who you are, you don’t need to be associated with them.”

Violet hums out an affirming noise to appease her sister, but she doesn’t know that Xaden is Violet’s soulmate. The likelihood of Violet being able to stay away from Xaden, even if she wants to, isn’t likely. 

“Let’s go!” someone calls out behind them, clearly annoyed that they dared take one second longer to finish their conversation. Violet turns slightly to see who stands behind them. 

The stocky blond man, his face twisted in annoyance as he stares at Violet, stands just a few people behind them. He’s wide as hell and looks like he could throw Violet with ease. 

Mira gives him a glare before she forces Violet to turn back around, nudging her just slightly towards the turret. “And maybe stay away from him too,” she says quietly. 

Violet laughs just slightly as she steps into line. She smiles at Mira, forcing herself not to cry as she realizes this is as far as her sister can come. 

“I’ll write to you when you have letter privileges,” Mira says, reaching out and giving Violet’s shoulder a light squeeze. “Don’t die.” 

“I’ll miss you too,” Violet jokes, but Mira doesn’t laugh.

She turns from her sister then, hoping it will hurt less when she can no longer see her anymore. She can feel her eyes on her though the entire time until she finally enters the turret. 

She looks up slightly, the staircase to the top looking so intimidating. The girl in front of her, a dark skinned girl with shoulder length braids turns to look at her before they reach the bottom of the stairs. 

“What lovely final words, ‘Don’t die’,” she remarks. 

Violet lets out a single laugh, “Yeah, that’s my sister. I love her, but I don’t know if she would know a sentimental word if it jumped out at her.”

“Ha! I know that’s right,” the girl says as they begin to climb the stairs, “I’m Rhiannon Mattias by the way.”

Violet gives her a smile before offering her name, “Violet Sorrengail.” 

The boy in front of them turns around as they pause on the stairs, “As in?”

Violet nods, “Yup, as in that Sorrengail.” 

“I’m Dylan,” The boy says as they begin to climb again. “I’m surprised you weren’t first in line to cross this morning.”

Rhiannon nods in agreement, “You must have been eager to volunteer.”

“More like voluntold.”

Rhiannon lets out a slight hiss of surprise, “Ouch.”

Violet just shrugs, opting to keep most of her energy for the climb. It’s 250 stairs, straight to the top. And then just a casual walk across the parapet. 

A small rumble of thunder sounds when they reach the top, and Violet knows the rain is about to start. Her eyes fly to Rhiannon’s shoes in front of her, noticing that they look similar to the ones Mira replaced for her. 

“Rhi,” she whispers, “let me see the bottom of your shoes.”

“My what?”

“Your shoes!”

Rhiannon looks confused but obliges, lifting her foot to show Violet the slick soles of her shoes. Violet curses under her breath, annoyed that her initial assumption was correct. 

“Switch a shoe with me,” Violet urges.

“What?” Rhiannon asks incredulously, “Why?”

“These are rider’s boots,” she points to her own feet, “They have good grip and it’s about to rain. They should help you stay safe.”

Rhiannon hesitates for only a moment before she nods, kicking off a shoe to switch quickly with Violet. 

They exit from the staircase, coming to the roll keeper at the top of the turret who takes their names right before they cross. Violet’s chest tightens with what she suspects is nerves before she glances at all the riders waiting for them. 

The first one is a rider with ripped off sleeves, he’s the one asking for everyone’s name as they exit the stairwell. The second has his hair shaved, except for a strip down the middle. That one has already moved with Dylan, walking him to the opening of the parapet. 

She gasps as she notices the third. 

He turns to look at her, doing a double take when he sees her. 

She freezes as her eyes meet his and suddenly the parapet is ten times worse when you have to do it in front of your soulmate. 

Chapter Text

Xaden doesn’t even think he was this nervous for his own conscription day. That day, he only had to worry about his own life, but today his entire heart is about to cross the parapet. 

The pure disbelief when General Sorrengail called in her favor, asking him to keep Violet alive during her first year in the rider’s quadrant had followed him since that day. Because of course he would help her, keep her alive. 

Even without the General’s favor, he would have done that so he can’t help but wonder why she would have used her favor on this. Did she think that Xaden would have fallen out of love with her in the past five years and needed the excuse to help her? Or was it simply a gesture of good will that she is going to look the other way when it comes to him being close to her?

Or was there a threat that he wasn’t even considering?

He’d wondered at first if she was testing his ability to follow orders, no matter how ridiculous they were. He didn’t think there was any way Violet would have voluntarily joined the rider’s quadrant. She’d always been adamant about joining the scribes, that she had zero interest in becoming a rider. 

If he didn’t know any better, he’d almost think she was giving him an easy task, something he would’ve done anyways, as a thank you for following her orders to leave Violet alone. But there’s no way the General would do that for him.

So he’d agreed, leaving her office with only a dose of skepticism that Violet would ever actually be joining them, determined to figure out the actual motivation behind the request. 

But then he’d gotten back to his room, Garrick standing there looking slightly panicked as he handed over the letter Violet had written him and he knew it was real. 

In less than a week, his soulmate who had always aspired to be a scribe would be crossing the parapet to become a rider. So when the new wingleaders met to organize their own tasks on conscription day, he hadn’t hesitated to volunteer to be at the top of the turret. 

That way even if the worst happened, he would get to see her one last time. 

He’d seen Liam first, somehow beating the girl who lived at the college to the line. As Xaden guided him to the line, murmuring to him to keep an eye out for Violet when she crosses. He hadn’t had time to answer any of the questions that he knows Liam has before it’s Liam’s time to cross.

He watches him the entire time, his eyes on his back as he makes sure he gets across easily. He knew he would be fine though, Xaden had trained with him and knew he was steady, sturdy, even in the rain. But he breathes just a little easier when he sees Liam reach the end and jump down safely into the quadrant. 

But now his eyes continuously scan the line of candidates, waiting for her. He nods to the other marked ones that come across, knowing that they are looking to him for guidance as they enter the quadrant. But his mind refuses to settle until…

There. 

She’s just left the stairs, standing in the entrance that leads her to the parapet. He does a double take when he sees her, noticing her at the same time that she notices him. His breath catches in his throat as he takes in just everything about her that has changed.

She’s still breathtakingly beautiful, the most beautiful person he’s ever met. Her hair is braided, wrapped around her head like a crown, so different from how he is used to seeing it. When they were growing up, she almost always had it down, but he can still see the silver that he loves so much. 

He doesn’t think she’s any taller than she had been at 15, the woman in front of her easily having four or so inches on her height. And though she might not be any taller, her body has certainly changed. Curves where she didn’t have any before, her breasts a little fuller, and every inch of her reminds him that she is now a fully grown adult. 

She takes his breath away. 

“Are you going to do anything besides stand there and stare at her?” Sgaeyl chuffs in his head. She has a point, this is accomplishing nothing. 

“Of course I’m right.” He slams his shields up to block her out as best as he can, he’s already nervous enough with her running commentary. 

Their eyes lock and he's moving before he can think twice about it. He steps between her and the woman in front of her, he was too distracted by Violet’s presence to hear the name she gave the roll keeper, effectively cutting her off from moving forward.

He holds her gaze as he stares down at her, the corner of his mouth twitching up into a smile that he refuses to fight. It doesn’t last very long though, when he sees her eyes narrow, clearly mad. 

“Get out of my way,” she hisses at him. His eyebrows raise just slightly in surprise, he’d expected her to be mad, angry even, but he had also hoped that just maybe she would be happy to see him. 

His face twists in the cocky smirk the rest of the quadrant is familiar with. 

“What? No hello?”

She scoffs, rolling her eyes, “Hi, now move.” She makes a move to step around him, but he catches her bicep, forcing her to stay. She glares at him as she tries to tug her arm out of his hold, but he remains sturdy. 

She just got here and he isn’t ready to let her go yet. Isn’t ready to watch her try and cross the parapet. Isn’t ready to lose her. 

“Violet,” he breathes out, just low enough for only her ears. Her face softens just slightly as she searches his face, but she regains her hard mask quickly. 

He knows what this must look like to the other cadets. Him, the son of the Great Betrayer, and her, the daughter of the General who caught him, locked in some sort of confrontation. They probably think he is going to hurt her, throw her off the parapet before she can even cross into the quadrant. 

That’s probably what they expect of him. 

Little do they know, he wishes he could just haul her into his arms and kiss the fucking shit out of her. 

She tugs again. “Let go,” she growls. He gets a brief flash from her of her kneeing him in the balls, though he knows she would never do it in front of all these people. He reinforces his shield, trying to keep from reading her too much. 

“Everything okay?” The woman in front of Violet turns to look at her, her gaze glancing quickly to Xaden before back to Violet. 

He watches as Violet nods, giving her a small smile. “All good, Rhi.” She turns back to him as she tugs on her arm one more time before he finally releases her. 

“Friend of yours?” He asks, keeping by her side as she moves closer to the parapet. He assesses her, his eyes scanning her quickly to determine if she poses any sort of threat to Violet. Not that he could do anything from here if she was, but there’s multiple people on the other side of the bridge who would gladly step in to keep her safe if needed. 

“We met on the stairs,” she replies, carefully keeping her eyes off of him. His eyes flare just slightly when he reaches the girl’s boots, noticing that she’s wearing mismatched shoes. His head rapidly turns to look at Violet’s shoes. 

“What-” 

“Her soles were slick, I couldn’t let her go up there like that,” she interrupts, as if she expected him to lecture her about it. She looks up at him, ready to fight against him for her choice.

But the move is so… Violet, that he can’t even be mad at her for it. Her giant heart, constantly caring for others even at times to her own detriment, had always been something he loved about her. She’d always been the best of them, fighting for what’s right, even if no one else agreed. 

It’s how he knew he could tell her about the Venin and she would be on their side. He just had to find a good time to do it. 

Preferably when she wasn’t seconds away from punching him at any moment. 

There’s a yell from the parapet, Violet’s head whipping to stare at the boy who is crossing. He watches as her eyes widen in fear, maybe shock, as the boy stumbles, his hands gripping onto the edge of the parapet. 

But the skies choose now to open, the rain falling quickly and hard, soaking the parapet quickly. He tries to pull himself up, but the newly wet rocks are more slippery than he realizes and when one hand slips, the weight of his pack quickly weighs down his other. 

The scream he lets out as he falls is quickly drowned out by the rain and the rapidly growing distance between them. 

She looks back at Xaden, any anger in her face being quickly replaced by panic. Shit, panic is more likely to make her fall, the parapet is no place to be scared. 

“One gust of wind and you’ll be joining him,” a voice sneers from behind them. She turns, her eyes narrowing on the brutish candidate behind her, and he’s a little glad to see it’s not just him that she gives that look to. 

“Jack Barlowe,” he says to the roll keeper, rolling his shoulders back to make himself look a little taller, “Remember the name, I’m going to be a wingleader someday.”

She scoffs, turning back to watch as her friend begins her walk across. He stays by her side, his arm just barely brushing against her in silent support. 

“Relax,” he murmurs as she steps up onto the parapet, “It’s just like the roof on Riorson house, or the stones in the river. You got this.”

She lets out a deep breath, nodding slightly, and taking her first step. 

She doesn’t say anything else to him and he hopes to any god that is listening that he didn’t just say his final words to her. 

~~~

The wind whips at her braid as she takes her first step out into the open air. 

Gods of course Xaden had been up there on the parapet. That was not the place she had been hoping to see him again, mostly because she couldn’t yell at him there. 

She couldn’t tell him just how much he had hurt her these past years, how alone and left behind she felt. 

But she takes a deep breath, pushing any thoughts of Xaden out of her head as she focuses on the parapet. She can yell at him later, she needs to get to the other side now. Preferably before Jack decides to join her up here. 

A gust of wind blows, causing her to sway just slightly before she regains her balance. 

“Good luck,” the asshole candidate, Jack, sing-songs to her, clearly hoping for the opposite. She barely resists the urge to flip him off, but she can’t focus on him either. She can’t let anything distract her or she will be the next candidate on the bottom of the river. 

She takes another step forward, letting her feet get a feel for the stones beneath her. Xaden wasn’t wrong, it feels so similar to the stones that line the roof at Riorson house, a place she had found herself so many times after she found him up there the first time. 

Between the hill outside of Aretia and the roof of Riorson house, they had had plenty of places to steal moments together that last summer she was there. 

She lets the memory of that final summer bring her comfort, remembering the way he had held her, the way he had looked at her. The way the current rain reminds her so much of that first kiss and running back to Riorson house, hand in hand as the rain fell. She hopes they can get back to that someday, because for as mad at him as she is, she’s missed the hell out of him. 

She lets her feet move on instinct, her arms out for balance as she tries to block out everything else that is happening around her. She glances up at where Rhiannon has just crossed halfway, a small smile gracing her face. 

Good, she thinks, Rhiannon deserves to make it across. She just hopes she makes it across so that Rhi isn’t stuck with mismatched shoes. 

She continues forward hoping to keep putting distance between herself and Jack. She’s positive that guy would throw her off if given the opportunity. 

Her foot slips, the sole of Rhi’s boot even more slick than she imagined, before she catches herself. She has to bite down on her bottom lip to keep from crying out in pain as it cracks against the stone of the parapet.

Chancing a glance backwards, she watches in horror as Jack grabs the poor candidate behind him and tosses him off.

Fuck, fuck, fuck. She needs to get moving. She doesn't even chance a look at Xaden, seeing the devastation on his face if she falls is not the way she wants to remember him. And no matter how mad she is at him, she is not going to let him watch her die. 

She stands up, taking in a slow, deep breath, before she wills her feet to move again. She throws her arms out again for balance and tries to calm her mind down with the one thing she knows best, facts. 

“Not much is known about soulmate bonds, only that everyone has one. No one remembers who held the first bond, but it is believed to be between two members of the first six riders. The likelihood of finding your soulmate is low, as there is no guarantee that your soulmate is anywhere in your vicinity.”

She glances up, watching as Rhiannon jumps off the final step, officially making it across the parapet and becoming a cadet. The knot of tension in her chest releases just slightly, she’s glad her friend made it. With her off, she must be about halfway across now. 

“Once someone finds their soulmate, many report that the bond is too strong to ignore. Though this scholar hopes that is false, for her soulmate is an ass.” She lets out a breath as she continues forward, the walls of the quadrant getting even closer. Facts, she reminds herself, not feelings. “It is said that in some cases, a soulmate bond can be so powerful that the heartbreak of losing their partner, whether through death or rejection of any sorts, can cause the other partner to perish. Though this has never been truly observed.”

She only has about one quarter of the way to go when she hears Jack calling out to her. “I’m coming for you Sorrengail!” 

She glances back at him, her eyes widening when she sees him running towards her. She forces her feet to keep moving, she is so close to the end. She ignores the way his footsteps get closer, ignores the puddles forming in the rocks near her feet, and focuses solely on the end of the parapet. 

His feet get closer and closer and her heartbeat gets more and more rapid. The walls of the parapet rise beside her and she breaks out into a full sprint. She jumps down, palming one of her daggers quickly as she spins towards Jack. 

Lucky for him, he stops before she can slice into him. 

“Name?” The female rider at the end of the parapet holds up the roll, waiting to count her as an official cadet. 

“Violet Sorrengail,” she grits out, never taking her eyes off Jack. 

“Well Cadet Sorrengail,” she refuses to look, her body tensing at the familiar male voice. “Are you going to let…” He must glance towards Jack, silently asking for his name. 

“Jack Barlowe.”

“Jack here off the parapet?”

She glares up at him, contemplating just for a moment not letting him down before she takes a single step back, withdrawing her dagger. “Leave me the hell alone Jack.”

He glances at the two other riders, seemingly sizing them up on if they could stop him if he tried anything, before nodding. He jumps down, bumping her just slightly with his shoulder, and she has to fight the scream of pain as she stumbles and puts all her weight on the knee she just hit off the bridge. 

“For now, Sorrengail. For now.” He sneers at her as he stalks off. 

She lets out a shaky breath before returning her dagger to its sheath. She looks up, making eye contact with the male rider who stands there. His arms are crossed against his chest and though his face is mostly blank, she can see the laughter behind his eyes that he wants to release. 

“So,” she cracks a small smile in his direction, “I see you got my letter.”

Garrick laughs, a full and loud one that causes his whole body to shake. He shakes his head at her before gesturing for her move along into the quadrant. 

“Welcome to the rider’s quadrant, Sorrengail.” 

Chapter Text

The courtyard is full of activity, cadets running every which way. There’s a flurry of activity no matter where Violet looks. She swings her head wildly trying to find somebody, anybody, she recognizes. 

She needs to find Rhiannon so she can switch her boots, she can only imagine how bad her feet hurt after wearing a shoe that is too small. She pauses slightly, waiting for a group of second years to pass in front of her as she continues to look for her. 

“Vi!” A hand lands on her shoulder, spinning her slightly so she can face them. She tries to fight a grimace as the knee she landed on twinges, but it’s momentarily forgotten when she makes eye contact with a familiar pair of brown eyes. 

A smile breaks her face, “Dain!”

He returns her smile. “It’s so good to see you.” He guides her to an alcove, gesturing towards a bench. “Don’t think I didn’t see the face you made.” 

She sighs but sits, stretching her knee slightly to test just how hurt it might be. It’s sore, but extends fully, hopefully nothing a few days in a wrap won’t fix. 

“Do you have wraps?” He nods towards her pack. 

“Yes, but I need to find-”

“Violet!” Rhiannon.

Dain turns, arms crossed in front of his chest as he looks at the girl approaching them. His gaze is harsh as he assesses the new person in front of them. He’s known every person in Violet’s life for nearly her entire life. 

“It’s fine, Dain,” Violet says. She waves him off but her stomach rolls. The longer she sits here, the worse she has begun to feel. It must be the adrenaline finally catching up to her. Sitting down, letting her mind relax has proven to be a big mistake. 

He glances over his shoulder at her, his eyes widening when he realizes just how shaken she looks all of a sudden. He goes back to her, turning his back on Rhiannon who follows him to Violet. 

“Head between your knees, deep breaths,” he commands, his hand running down her spine in a comforting motion as he sits next to her. She flashes a shaky smile at Rhi but does as she’s told.

In through her nose, hold for 3, out through her mouth. 

She repeats the motion until everything settles; her head, her stomach, her nerves. And when she feels ready, she lifts her head. Rhiannon is still standing in front of her, her eyes filled with worry for her new friend. 

“I suppose you want your shoe back?” Violet lifts the foot that wears Rhi’s shoe, wiggling it slightly. 

She smiles, some of the worry fading as she moves just slightly closer. “Are you okay?”

“Violet is fine,” Dain intervenes, casting a slightly suspicious look towards Rhi. 

She rolls her eyes, returning Rhi’s smile. “I’m fine, just a bit of adrenaline.”

She doesn’t offer up that her knee is killing her. Rhi is nice, and she seems like someone Violet could be friends with, but she doesn’t trust her yet. She’s known her for all of a few hours, so for now, her knee isn’t any of her concern. 

She slips out of Rhi’s boot, taking her own back and putting it on quickly. She watches as a sigh of relief spreads across Rhiannon’s face, clearly happy to be wearing her own shoe again. 

Dain looks over at her, “What’s your name cadet?”

“Rhiannon Matthias.”

“Well Rhiannon, I’m Dain Aetos. Can you go to the roll keeper and tell her to put both you and Violet Sorrengail in my squad?” She nods quickly, standing and throwing another concerned look towards Violet. 

Violet smiles and nods, “I’ll be fine, Dain is one of my oldest friends,” she explains. 

She gives Violet a fake salute before turning to walk off. 

“If she gives you any trouble, tell her she owes me from threshing last year!” Dain calls after her retreating back. She gives him a slight wave, indicating she heard him, before the crowd swallows her up.

“C’mon,” Dain says, holding his hand out to help her stand, “We need to get that knee wrapped.”

He leads her into the dorms, his hand wrapped around hers to keep her steady on the stairs. The stairs, just like the ones leading to the parapet, have no railing on the side and on her hurt knee, she’s happy for the stability he provides. 

“Did Gar-”

He cuts her off with a glare, “Not here.”

She snaps her mouth shut, following him in silence until they reach his room. She watches in rapt fascination as he twists his hand, his magic unlocking his door. He pulls her in quickly, shutting the door. 

“What was that about?” She asks.

Dain sighs, running a hand down his face in frustration. “Yes, I got Garrick’s message but it’s not exactly common knowledge that we were friendly with the marked ones before, well, everything. I try to keep it that way, and you should too.”

She’s silent for a moment, “I… why?”

He’s quiet for just a moment, shifting his weight from side to side, a nervous tic he has always had. He sighs, meeting her gaze, “They, the marked ones that is, don’t exactly have it the easiest around here. If people know you are friends, let alone what you and Riorson are… I just don’t want you to be targeted.”

She feels her blood boil. Those marked ones as he keeps calling them, were her friends. Some of her best friends, outside of Dain himself, and she has no plans to just stay away.

Is she owed a lot of answers from those friends? Absolutely. But she doesn’t plan to erase all those years of friendship. 

She shakes her head, she will not be doing that. 

He sighs, “Yeah I didn’t think so. But I figured I’d try.”

She shrugs, a smile playing on her face, “Now turn around so I can wrap my knee.”

He turns, smiling as he faces his door, “You know it’s nothing I haven’t seen when we’ve gone swimming.”

She laughs, shimmying out of her pants and exposing her knee. “That might be true, but something tells me Xaden wouldn’t be happy with knowing I took my pants off in your room.” She hisses as she pokes at her knee, the bruise already forming under the skin. Luckily, she doesn’t think it’ll be any worse than that. 

“Are you planning on getting back together with him?”

She lets out a thoughtful hum as she works the wrap around her knee, making sure it keeps her knee cap from sliding while the tender joint heals. “I’m not not planning on that,” she supplies finally. 

She stands, bending her knee a few times to test the wrap before she gets dressed again. She lets him know that he can turn back around. 

“He hurt you, Vi,” he argues. 

“I know he did. But I can’t describe how wrong it feels, even right now, to not be with him.” 

It wasn’t exactly painful to be apart but it made her feel weird. Like that feeling that you get when you know you’ll wake up sick tomorrow. It feels off and there’s nothing you can do, but just live with it. 

“I know you don’t understand, but you will someday after you meet your soulmate.”

“If I do,” he mumbles as she keeps talking.

“I can’t even think about anyone else, Dain,” she explains, “I know he has a lot to apologize for and a lot of trust to rebuild, but it will always be him.”

He gives her a small smile, “As long as you make him work for it.”

She laughs, and he joins as he leads her out of his room, back down towards the quadrant. 

“Oh!” she says, turning to look at him before they reenter the courtyard. “What’s your signet?”

He blushes slightly, looking to make sure no one else is around, “I can read recent memories.”

Her eyes flair in shock, her mouth dropping open. She’s surprised the quadrant has allowed him to live, inntinnsics were never allowed to live. He must be able to read the confusion on her face because he smiles.

“Not like that, I have to touch someone’s face.”

She glances pointedly at his hands, “Don’t steal my memories, Dain.” 

He holds his hands up in a surrender motion, “I would never.”

She gives him a small smile, and lets him lead her back out into the courtyard. He glances around, making eye contact with someone that she can’t see through the crowd of people, nodding in their direction. 

“Right, I need to go to squad leader things, but I’ll see you after parapet is done. I feel like you’ll like our squad.” He smiles like he’s the only one in on a joke before turning and walking towards a group of other riders who must be some other squad leaders.

She lets out a breath, finally getting a moment to herself. She can’t let herself relax too much, she knows there are a significant portion of cadets that would like to see her hurt, if for no other reason than to say they are the ones who brought down General Sorrengail’s daughter. 

No one can hurt her here, the Codex forbids violence when in formation, but that doesn’t mean people aren’t paying attention, cataloguing every weakness she has. 

“Violet!”

She freezes, almost afraid to turn around. Because that voice is so familiar, and has been so so missed these last few years. If she turns around and it isn’t who she thinks it is, she will be devastated. 

Her name is called again, the same voice. She turns now though because there is no way she imagined the voice twice. 

He’s making his way towards her, the widest smile she’s ever seen that she can’t help but return. 

Liam.

He scoops her up when he gets there, pulling her in for a hug that she doesn’t even bother to protest. She lets herself relax into the embrace, his arms tight around her. 

If platonic soulmates were a thing, she thinks hers would be Liam. He’d always understood her in a way nobody other than Xaden had. He knew every change of expression on her face and what they meant. After that first time she’d been hurt in Aretia, he’d always carried at least one wrap on him. 

He releases her, stepping back just a bit so he can look her over. “I’ve missed you so much,” he says. 

“I’ve missed you too,” she says, her voice soft with emotion. She gives him a wide smile before she raises her hand, punching his bicep.

“Ow, what was that for?” He rubs the spot where she hit him. 

“That’s for ignoring me for the last five years,” her eyes narrow on him just slightly. She missed him, but he also has a lot to apologize for. 

He sighs, looking away from her as a flash of irritation crosses his face. Her glare deepens. If he thinks he has a right to be irritated at her feelings, she doesn’t know if they can get past this. He looks back at her and must be able to see the annoyance because he gives her a small smile. 

“Sorry, Vi. You’re right. I probably deserve more than one punch,” he’s silent for a moment, “Did you talk to Xaden?”

She shrugs, “I mean, I saw him at the entrance to the parapet, but it’s not like we had some in depth conversation there.”

He nods, “You need to talk to him.”

She fights the urge to roll her eyes, so she just nods. Her eyes travel towards the parapet, watching as two of the riders from the other side appear. She didn’t realize it had been that long since she had crossed, conscription day coming to an end. 

She continues to watch, knowing that if the two other riders were there then Xaden couldn’t be too far behind. Like a magnet, her eyes find him as soon as he crosses. He stands next to Garrick, his eyes scanning the courtyard looking and assessing the crowd. 

His gaze stops when it lands on her, her pulse quickening immediately. A bell chimes somewhere, marking the top of the hour, but she barely notices. His gaze never leaves hers until Garrick elbows Xaden in the ribs, saying something to him. Xaden glances at the dais where the rest of leadership waits before he turns back to her, a longing on his face so strong she gasps. He gives her a small, half smile, before he turns around and makes his way to the dais. 

The rider with the roll uses lesser magic to project her voice, and begins to call out the new squad. She stands close to Liam, reveling in his nearness again as first years are separated between the wings. 

Jack gets sent to First Wing, thank the gods, and when they move onto Second Wing, Violet begins to breathe just a little easier. 

“Violet Sorrengail, Second Squad, Flame Section, Second Wing.”

She gives Liam a smile before making her way towards where Dain is waiting. Rhiannon is already waiting there for her, flashing her a wide smile. 

Violet’s eyes scan over the other members of her new squad. There’s a boy with dark skin and floppy curls, a smile on his face as he whispers some joke to the boy next to him. That boy is pale, a splash of freckles on his face and brown, nearly auburn, hair. 

She freezes just slightly when she sees the rider behind him. She’s tall, her chin-length pink hair ruffling slightly in the breeze, and a wide look as she stares back at Violet. 

No wonder Dain thought she might like this squad, Imogen is here. 

Imogen, who was one of the first people who knew about her original crush on Xaden, who had always helped her braid her hair if her shoulders were hurting her, and even on days when they weren’t. 

A wave of sadness washes over Violet as she gets into line behind Rhiannon, directly beside Imogen. She had known she had missed her friends, but until she saw them today, it just hadn’t hit her how upset and hurt she was at them ignoring her these past few years. 

“Violet,” Imogen whispers at her. Violet gives her a small smile, a deep feeling of awkwardness passing between the two old friends. “It’s good to see you.” 

Violet nods, “You too.” 

She turns her gaze back towards the front of the dais where Xaden is leaning over and speaking to the girl with the roll. It must be a heated discussion because the other two Wing :eaders seem annoyed, especially the blonde woman who stands between them. 

But the roll keeper just rolls her eyes, scratching something on the parchment before she starts speaking again. 

“Dain Aetos, your squad will switch with Aura Beinhaven.” Dain tenses, but nods and turns to look at his squad. 

“Follow me.”

When they pass another squad coming from Fourth Wing, Violet realizes what has happened. Xaden has put her in his wing. 

She finds his eyes already on her when she looks at him, and she gives him a small smile and shakes her head fondly. She should have known he was going to try and keep her as close as possible. 

She stands in formation while the rest of the first years are spread throughout the Wings. She looks around carefully, trying to spot the one person she hasn’t seen yet, Bodhi, but she’s too short to see around most of the riders so she knows she will have to wait until there are less people around. 

When everyone is finally distributed, the leadership takes the stage. Colonel Panchek says something that she doesn’t hear, her eyes too locked into a staring contest with Xaden. Neither of them seemingly able to look away from the other. 

Oh well, Rhiannon can give her a recap later. 

Xaden finally breaks their eye contact when it’s his turn to step in front of everyone. He projects his voice, his face a mask of cool indifference. 

“You’re all cadets now.” He takes a moment to stare at all of them. “Take a look at your squad. These are the only people guaranteed by Codex not to kill you. But just because they can’t end your life doesn’t mean others won’t. You want a dragon? Earn it.”

Cheers of the new cadets fill the air. Of course they are excited, they wanted to be here. Violet keeps her mouth shut, sixty-seven people died today, there is nothing to cheer about. 

Xaden finds her in the crowd again before he continues speaking, “And I bet you feel pretty badass right now, don’t you first-years?”

The cheering gets louder. 

“You feel invincible after the parapet, don’t you? You think you’re untouchable, You’re on the way to becoming the few! The chosen!”

The cheers grow to a steady roar around her, ringing in her ears. She finds Xaden again, his eyes flicking to a spot behind her when she realizes it's not cheering.

Its wingbeats. 

She looks up as a massive figure flies overhead and five dragons land on the masonry around them. She instantly recognizes the navy dragon that is bonded to Xaden. She had only seen her that one time when she snuck onto the threshing field, but she’s just as massive and as beautiful as she remembers. 

She looks up and makes direct eye contact with the dragon, the golden eyes looking like she’s peering directly into her soul. Violet wonders if she knows that she is Xaden’s soulmate, Xaden telling her or if it’s one of those things dragons just know. 

A boy in Third Wing screams, turning and sprinting as fast as he can towards where the parapet lies. 

There’s a blast of heat to her side, and then another behind her, but she refuses to look away from Xaden’s dragon. She’s sure she’s talking to Xaden, telling him whatever assessment she’s made of Violet in this moment. 

When no one else runs, an almost feline smile crosses Xaden’s face. “Anyone else feel like changing their minds?” He scans the crowd and when no one responds, he continues talking, “No? Excellent. Roughly half of you will be dead by this time next summer. A third of you again the year after that, and the same your last year. No one cares who your mommy or daddy is here. Even King Tauri’s second son died during his Threshing. So tell me again: Do you feel invincible now that you’ve made it into the Rider’s Quadrant? Untouchable? Elite?”

The crowd is unnervingly silent and the navy dragon lets out a blast of steam that hits her directly in the face. Whatever his dragon thinks of her, she has clearly made up her mind. 

“Because you’re not untouchable or special to them.” He points at his dragon, “To them, you are just the prey.”