Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

243 days

It’s been eight months since Sora disappeared. Almost a whole year and Riku still felt exactly the same. People smarter than Riku said time healed all wounds – but his were still wide open, bleeding sluggishly like a cut that refused to close.

There had already been too much time. All that time because he was jealous. All that time because he was sorry. And all that time repenting, holding himself back, pretending he was fine… He’d worked so hard to be happy for them. All those wasted chances – so many moments when he could have been standing by his side. Riku had reasoned that Sora being safe, being there, was enough.

He didn’t want any more time – lost or wasted. He wanted Sora, finally, with him. 

Everyone was trying their hardest to locate Sora. Kairi was still asleep, searching. The others were doing their best too – researching, testing, analysing, anything that could bring a sliver of hope. Riku always jumped right in the moment there was something he could do, things he could answer or look for, but there was always nothing in the end.

Riku felt stagnant. He had traversed worlds countless times and not a single person had seen him. No traces of his smile, his laugh, his insistent need to help – and he was a hard guy to miss. Riku believed Sora’s multitude of friends when they said they hadn’t heard from him. Some would comment how funny it was that their roles had been reversed – but no one was laughing. Everyone spoke with somber tones. Like all the worlds could feel a light had been snuffed out. It was just so sad.

They wouldn’t let him go to the realm of darkness alone to search. Or at all, really, since there was no one available to go with him. As much as they were looking for Sora, everyone still had their responsibilities – Masters and Apprentices, Kings and Queens. Some days Riku felt like a side project. He knew it wasn’t true, but it didn’t stop the feeling. It didn’t help him feel any less alone.

~

Waves rolled softly onto the shore of the play island. It was the beginning of summer but the breeze still had a cold bite when the day came to an end. Riku sat on the beach, knees bent and bare heels carving lines in the sand as he dragged his legs up. He wore an oversized black t-shirt and light, grey cotton shorts that moved softly against his thighs as the gentle wind swept across the shore. He spent a lot more time at the beach in-between the moments he was able to search for his best friend. Almost always spent alone, which he quietly preferred, still holding tightly to the belief he was never very good at making deeper connections with people.

Riku held his right palm to his chest and closed his eyes. His fingers curled around the fabric of his shirt in a light hold, feeling like he needed something to ground him. The sun was setting, and the sky was bathed in warm light. His heart called out for Sora but the response was silent as always. He released his shirt with a sigh and pushed all his fingers into the sand until the tops of his hands were covered. 

He still felt cold. 

Riku shut his eyes again, harder, until he started to feel a headache coming on. He envisioned the red light around him like an aura, like Sora embracing him and telling him he was okay, that he knew Riku was coming for him, that he would protect him. 

Like he promised.

“How can I protect you… when I don’t even know where you are…?” Riku whispered to the red glow illuminating from the edge of the horizon. “Or even if you’re…” his hand gripped strongly into the sand, the fine granules pushing up under his fingernails. 

30 days

Riku sat on the beach, as he’d done many times before, letting the cool water brush up and wash over his toes in its gentle ebb and flow. He stared at the horizon like he was waiting – like Sora would appear any moment on something ridiculous – a pirate ship or a wrecked gummi ship he’d crash landed into the ocean.

He smiled softly, lost in the fantasy of Sora laughing joyously as he waved to everyone, struggling to come to shore. Riku didn’t notice he was crying until the lift of his smile caused the tears to spill from the corner of his eyes.

“Bet you don’t know why the sun sets red,” Roxas said as he sat down beside Riku.

Startled, Riku quickly averted his face against his clothed shoulder to dry his tears. He was not one to cry, and his ears turned a little pink at being caught during such a vulnerable moment.

“I’m sorry?” he asked as he turned to Roxas. He hoped he looked as neutral as he was trying to portray.

“Light is made up of lots of colours.” Roxas spoke softly, pacing his words. He was looking out to the sky. “And out of all those colours, red is the one that travels the farthest.”

“...Is this supposed to mean something to me?” Riku didn’t mean to be so blunt, but he wasn’t exactly up for a lesson and he and Roxas weren’t exactly – what Riku would call – friends.

It was too easy to slip into darker, less charitable thoughts around the rest of the group. ‘How dare they all get to be here, with their friends, at the expense of Sora.’ It wasn’t a new accusation, or even the worst one, but just hearing it flicker through his mind made Riku nauseous. He looked down at his toes, caught up in his own private shame.

“It’s just something Axel told me once,” Roxas replied, not fazed in the slightest. “You might not be able to see Sora right now, but his light will always reach you – no matter how far apart you are.”

252 days

“I have a plan, Kairi.” Riku spoke quietly as he held her limp hand, gently brushing his calloused thumb over her knuckles. She looked peaceful. He noted how much smaller her hand was compared to his own. It reminded him of how he was always so much bigger than them growing up. Would Sora’s hand be smaller too, if he got the chance to hold it? Or had he grown more than he remembered? He always teased Sora for his smaller frame, but he should know this. So much wasted time.

Kairi was lying on a hospital style bed, propped up by pillows and connected to various machines and computers inside the lab of Radiant Gardens. She was still searching her memories, looking for Sora. Just as determined as Riku. They’d both sworn oaths and were taking their respective paths to bring him home. Kairi could not hear him but he often visited to give her updates, and to make sure she was safe. He owed her that much. He owed her so much more than he could offer.

“I haven’t found him yet…I know we’ve searched every known world already.” Riku paused for a moment as his stomach sank low. “But I figured, if Sora is trying to come back to us, he would go home. Right?”

Riku searched Kairi’s face as he continued to stroke her hand. The only sound to be heard was the electronic beeping of the computers and machines monitoring her and recording her data.

“Home to Destiny Islands, right?” Riku swallowed thickly to push down the rise of failure-induced anxiety. “To us?”

‘To me’ he let himself think selfishly.

“I’ll bring him back.” Riku straightened up and made his way out of the lab with a new resolve and determination he hadn’t felt in a long time. “I promise.”

~

“That’ll be 20,000 munny,” the older man declared as he held out his hand. Riku hadn’t even reached into his pocket yet. The fisherman’s skin was deeply tanned, almost like leather in texture. Riku had instantly assumed he must have spent decades of his life on this ocean.

“Here you go.” Riku handed the man the munny and watched with slight amusement as he counted it quickly before stuffing it into a cooler at his feet.

“What you doin’ with this anyhow?” the old fisherman asked, gesturing back at the white trawler that gently swayed on the water, tied to the mooring. “Not that I mind ya takin’ it of me hands. You even know how to use it?”

“Well enough,” Riku responded, resting his right hand on his hip as he cocked his head to look past the old man to stare at the boat. He could manage. After all, he was sure he had flown and driven things more complicated than a small trawler from Destiny Islands. It was probably just enough for three people, and an older generation for sure, but very well cared for. Tastefully painted navy around the outer sides of the boat and a creamy white around the inside. Not knowing too much about different fishing boats and their functions, Riku was just grateful it ran and had a small cabin positioned at the front end that was tricked out to be liveable. He also liked the small timber deck at the back just behind the cabin.

“You don’t look the type…” the old man started. “Well, just make sure you pack some sunscreen. You’re so pale – are you sure you’re from around here? I haven’t seen ya before.”

A little sheepishly, Riku rubbed the back of his neck. “Ah well, I grew up here. I’ve just been away, uh, traveling. For a while.”

The fisherman stared intently at Riku’s face, his eyes squinting as he leant in a little closer. 

Riku stepped back.

“You almost look like that kid who used to pinch them spare row boats to go to that small – what did the kids call it – play island or somethin’.”

Riku’s nose tinged a soft pink – they did used to “borrow” the row boats.

“Hah!” a worn finger pointed in Riku’s face “It was– is you!” The fisherman huffed, but not without a teasing smile, and folded his arms against his chest. “You kids – always causin’ a ruckus, pinchin’ our stuff. Ah yes, the other one, a little fellow. He was always tailin’ behind you – like a puppy!” He chuckled. “It’s like you all vanished.”

The corner of Riku’s mouth curled upward slightly as he remembered a young Sora always on his heels. Riku had teased him and acted like he was annoying sometimes – but truthfully he’d loved it. After a while, as the distance between them grew, Sora often tried to be the one in front. He loved that too.

“Well he is still out…travelling,” Riku murmured, barely audible.

“Ah yes well, people grow and all that. Where you headed – not that it’s me business,” the old man quickly amended, his hand waving side-to-side in front of his face.

“Just to the outer islands – as far as I can go really.” Riku shrugged. He didn’t want to talk much about his plans but the older man was nice enough so he indulged him a little.

“ Outer islands?” the old fisherman stiffened, his eyebrows furrowing deeply in the aged lines of his face. “Young man that – that is not a thing you should be doin’.” He shook his head side-to-side as he dipped his chin.

Riku already knew that the outer islands were not often travelled. The waters there were rough, deep and dark. It was a big no-no in the community. But even as a kid it never seemed to be a thing of concern. He was willing to take a raft there after all. Actually, it made it all the more enticing.

“I’ll be fine.”

“No no… I don’t think you realise what’s out that way, boy.”

“Boy?” Riku stood straighter, shoulders rolling back.

The old man waved his hands. “Look I don’t mean to undermine you and all…”

Riku exhaled sharply from his nose and decided it was time to end this conversation. He began to make his way back around the man and moved toward the trawler he had just bought. Sora could be out there and he was not going to waste his time being lectured by scared locals. They do not know the things he has done. What he is capable of. Whatever blocks his path to Sora he will overcome it.

“There have been people who’ve never come back…” the man's voice had gone quiet and mournful. “Sad people… broken inside.”

Riku paused midstep, facing the trawler. He turned his head slightly toward the fisherman to catch his words, curiosity and politeness winning over.

“They left innocently enough. Deeper water – they thought they’d get some great catches. One fellow came back. He was my mate, he was, well he was elated .”

Riku stood still, listening carefully. The sound of soft waves pushing against the side of the boat seemed so loud in comparison to the woeful tone of the older man. He was desperate to leave but he felt compelled to stay. He had always just assumed it was too rough out there. He’d never heard of people going missing.

The old fishman continued: “He told us he had seen her. His missus. She had died, you know. Two years prior. He’d seen her. Spoke to her.” A broken half-laugh escaped him. “We said he was imagining things, ‘cause of his grief and all”.

For a moment there was silence and Riku looked down to the toe of his boot.

The old fisherman continued softly: “He had only come back to share his catch. Said he wouldn’t need it all, didn’t want it to go to waste. He was goin’ back out there to be with her – couldn’t explain why she didn't just come back with him.”

“...so he left, then?” Riku asked carefully. “You never saw him again?”.

“That’s the truth,” the man stated. “They say there’s ghosts out there. Ghosts of the people you love and have lost. And they keep you.”

Riku said nothing, lifting his gaze back to the trawler. He knew it was a long shot that Sora might be stuck on an outer island, but he has searched everywhere else so many heartbreaking times. And even if it was an extremely long shot… he can at least feel like he’s doing something useful, that he hasn’t given up. He will find Sora.

“I’ve never been one for ghost stories.” Riku threw his rucksack onto the timber deck of the boat before jumping aboard himself.

The old fisherman sighed but gave Riku an encouraging smile and a small wave. “Good luck to you, lad. Hope you find what ya lookin’ for.”

259 days

Riku was laid out on the timber deck at the back of the boat, arms folded behind his head acting as a pillow as he watched the clouds above. It had been a week since he set out for the outer islands and he’d been fortunate the conditions stayed consistently favourable.

He had visited two islands so far and it hadn’t taken him long to check them over. They were more like mounds of sand decorated with random bursts of tall grass, a couple of paopu trees bunched together, and on one of them he discovered a deep drop off that seemed to duck right underneath the island. Curious, he had stripped off his shirt and shorts, opting to stay in his boxer trunks, and dived into the water. Keeping aware of distance in case he had to bail before he couldn’t hold his breath any longer, Riku had swum. Luckily, a light had glimmered through and he’d pushed himself harder until he was finally able to pop his head above the water. Riku had found himself in a tiny cave – or to be more accurate, a hollowed out boulder. There was nothing to climb onto and barely any headroom. It was weird, but cool. The light had come through because of needle size holes scattered throughout the rock. He’d thought about how Sora would’ve like it.

Riku shut his eyes as the sun reappeared from behind the clouds, shining down on him and heating his face. The timber beneath his back was warm and Riku felt like he was wrapped in a blanket. He could feel himself dozing off. The gentle rock of the boat certainly didn’t help. Maybe it would be okay to nap for a little while… though he was aware he shouldn’t lose track of time or his whereabouts – another island could appear.

And what if he got sunburnt?

Riku scrunched up his nose as he remembered the agony of burnt skin after he and Sora had fallen asleep on the beach back home. The sinful amount of aloe vera smeared all over his face, chest, legs, and arms. The peeling. Sora hadn’t fared any better but it was just offensive how good his tan looked afterward. The freckles across his cheeks had become more pronounced and it was embarrassing how Riku had obsessed over them in his head. But then they’d begun to fade and Riku had mourned the loss because he hadn’t gotten to trace his thumb over them.

Sora.

Music played. Beautiful soft notes began to sound in his heart and spread like a dance throughout the rest of his body. He knew this harmony. It was the sound idea they’d created during their visit to Symphony of Sorcery. It was so clear now in his head. Every note.

Riku’s heart began to ache in deep longing as memories of Sora filtered through his mind. 

Sora’s face – cheeks still soft and round despite him getting older. Eyes so blue it was like a mirror to the ocean during the clearest day of summer. Hands callused with dirty nails – but so strong and capable. His smile, his laugh, his posture, his legs, the way he walks, jumps, runs. Sora’s expressions. Riku swore he had memorised them all. And if he hadn’t – well once he had him back he would.. He’ll remember everything.

Riku’s body jerked suddenly, eyes opening in an instant. He quickly sat up. The boat must have hit something. His eyes darted in every direction. Nothing.

Perhaps he’d fallen asleep after all. Riku stood up and held onto the rail that ran around the deck. He thought he could faintly see another island in the distance.

The music continued to play as his feet traced the edges of the timber, his gaze moving along the horizon – checking every direction. The tune sounded so clear. Riku’s eyebrows furrowed. Like it wasn’t in his head at all. Was he still asleep?

He felt nervous. It was definitely not in his head. Riku’s heart fluttered as he became hyper-aware that there was no wind and the ocean had grown still.

Like a whisper, seductive and alluring, the music flowed through one ear and out of the other. His heart slowed, nervousness disappearing, and he felt warm again. Warm like when Sora would lean against him.

“What’s going on,” he found himself murmuring as he curled and uncurled his fingers around the railing.

“Riku?”

Hands gripped to the rail so tight, Riku’s knuckles went white as a quiet voice called his name from behind. A voice he knew as well as his own.

“Sora?” Riku asked, his voice strained. He wanted to turn around, desperately, but his hands wouldn’t seem to let go. He didn’t know if he could take the heartbreak of seeing nothing there. Insanity had claimed him. He was nowhere near an island. An illusion, a trick.

“Riku,” Sora’s voice carried across the deck and crawled up Riku’s body, making him shiver. A static memory of Sora falling to his knees, hanging off his clothes as he cried tears of relief flicked into vision.

“It’s you. You’re here.” Sora sounded so small but he also sounded relieved.

“Is it you?” Riku felt his eyes fail him as they began to water. “Are you really here or am I just going crazy?” 

The music was still playing, albeit much quieter. He must have lost his mind. But could it really be him, could it really be Sora?

‘Turn around you idiot.’ Riku ordered himself. ‘Turn. Around.’

“Riku?” Sora’s voice was soft and fading.

Riku whipped around to face the voice but he saw nothing but flashes of light behind his eyelids.

‘Open. Your. Eyes.’ He begged himself.

A laugh. Oh god that laugh. Sora’s laugh!

“Riku, what are you doing?” Sora asked with an unsure chuckle. “Your eyes are shut. And here I thought you would be happy to see me!” His tongue clicked against his teeth but his voice sounded a little broken. “I’ve been looking for you. Everywhere.”

Riku forced his eyes and saw him. Riku saw Sora. His sapphire eyes were hypnotic as ever as they stared back at him, his soft lips curled in an encouraging smile, and his cute, squishy cheek smooshed up against the palm of his hand as he leaned against it. Sora was draped over the edge of the trawler with his elbows resting against the timber boards. The rest of his body disappeared below the gap that led to a swimmer platform.

Riku lost all composure and fell to his knees breathless. He could’ve been crying but all he felt was a crushing weight being lifted from his body.

Riku crawled to Sora, whose smile just grew the closer he got.

“I can’t believe it,” Riku said, voice laced with awe. “It’s you.” Aquamarine eyes flicked over every inch of the younger boy before him. Brunet hair flat and wet, droplets running off the ends and sliding down smooth sun kissed skin.

“In the flesh,” Sora joked but his expression sombered a second later. “I’m sorry.”

“Sorry?” Riku asked in disbelief as he sat back on his heels. He was holding himself back but he wanted to touch Sora so badly. He wanted to cradle his face in his hands, bury his face in his wet hair, and breathe in the scent of sea salt, coconuts, and sunscreen that was all Sora.

“But you believed in me…” Sora smiled as his gaze flicked down to his free fingers drumming on the timber. “Thank you for believing in me. I’m just sorry it took me so long to find you.”

He couldn’t take it. Riku’s hands scooped underneath Sora’s armpits as he lifted him up to his chest. His arms encircled around the slender torso as he held him tightly, Riku’s face in wet, salty hair. 

“Riku…” Sora’s voice turned wobbly. His arms snaked around Riku’s broad shoulders as he pushed his face snug against his neck.

“I’m so happy you’re safe,” Riku murmured, his lips tasting the sea. “I’ve looked for you every day.”

“Really?”

Riku swallowed thickly as Sora’s lips moved against his neck. He felt his breath. Sora was real. He was alive.

“But I knew you would find me if I didn’t find you. You always save me in the end.”

Selfishly Riku held on a little longer before breaking their embrace. An alarm rang in his head as he noticed Sora was still hanging off the edge of the boat.

“Oh no,” He panicked and moved to a better squatting position to pull Sora up. “I’m sorry. You’re still–”

Sora slipped back a little, just escaping Riku’s welcoming hands. “Riku… I can’t.” Sora’s eyebrows furrowed a little as he looked up and away quickly.

“What?” Riku’s stomach curdled. “I don’t understand”.

Sora hummed slowly, deep in his throat, and drummed his fingers even louder against the timber deck. Riku shifted his weight as anxiety started rising up in his gut like a wave just before it broke.

“I have a tail,” Sora mournfully admitted.

“A tail…” Riku repeated slowly.

The sound of something splashing started up, and Sora tilted his head back a bit – encouraging Riku to look down behind him. Riku shuffled to the edge beside Sora, and peered over.

“A tail,” he confirmed.

A mermaid-style tail flicked up out of the water and disappeared again beneath the surface. It began low on Sora’s hips as skin faded into ashen-blue scales that simmered like starlight. Fins that looked so delicate, like a spider had woven them, had Riku transfixed. 

“I don’t know what happened. It’s like world-order-rules. Like Atlantica, you know?” Sora drabbled on quickly. “Maybe – maybe when I came back – I don’t even know how I came back – magic kicked in to adapt to my environment? Cause I woke up here.”

“...Makes sense,” Riku murmured in confusion. It didn’t make sense at all. By that logic he wouldn’t need to look any different than Sora at his truest. He’d landed in Destiny Islands. But maybe because of where he’d landed…

“Have you tried turning back?” Riku asked as he slid himself back in front of Sora.

“Ya,” Sora replied. “No Keyblade.”

“You can’t summon your Keyblade?” Riku’s eyebrows shot up.

“No!” Sora whined with a pout. “I don’t know what’s going on. This is why I couldn’t find you sooner! I can only be this way.” He rolled onto his back and gestured down his frame as he wriggled around. He smacked his head back against the deck, exasperated.

Riku turned onto his back as well, his hair mixing with Sora’s as they laid head to head. 

“It’s okay. We’ll figure this out.” He promised. “I’m just so glad you’re really here.”

Riku heard Sora breathe out of his nose sharply. “Me too. I’ve missed you so much. I’m just glad we’re together now. I know we’ll figure it out. I just want to be with you.”

Riku all but whined with a neediness he didn’t think he was capable of. Sora wanted to be with him. Pink dusted across his nose and he felt thankful Sora couldn’t see his face right now.

Riku squeezed his eyes shut so painfully he could feel the tinge of a headache threatening to emerge. Sora wanted to be with everyone. Not just him. What about Kairi? Oh god, Kairi…

“Kairi is going to be so happy.” Riku announced. “She’s been looking for you too. Constantly.”

“Kairi…” Sora repeated softly and slowly, almost like he was thinking. “I can’t wait to see her again.”

“...What do you want to do, then?” Riku asked, hesitantly. If Sora couldn’t transform back right now, he didn’t know how he was going to get him home. He couldn’t make him swim the entire way. Perhaps he could just use a corridor of darkness…but in this state, the trip might be too risky for Sora.

“I know we’ll figure it out. But right now I just really want to lay here with you.” Sora replied, interrupting Riku’s thoughts. Sora’s voice poured from his lips like honey, making Riku’s core ignite.

Time was lost as they rested together, head to head, conversing softly to the sky, recounting precious memories and all the things they wanted to do together again.

The sun began to set and like clockwork, red light embraced them. Every evening Riku would wish it to be Sora, reaching out to him from some distant star. He focused on the pressure of Sora’s head against his own. Of his soft brunet hair entwining with silver strands. Sora was here this time.

“I’ll always reach you, Riku,” Sora whispered. “Our hearts are connected. We will always find each other no matter what.”

“Sora…”

“I have to go,” Sora stated sadly. “The sun is going down and I can’t stay out here like this.”

Riku’s body went rigid, the wave breaking against his heart. “Go?”

“Just while it’s dark,” Sora clarified soothingly, his hand reaching back to gently pat Riku's head.

“Where are you going though – are you sleeping somewhere? I – I’ll come with you.” Riku went dizzy as he moved urgently, flipping his body and hovering over Sora still laying flat on his back.

“Relax…” he continued, the word dripping off his tongue, thick and syrupy.

Body warm again, like when Sora leaned against him, like Sora looked up at him right now with lidded eyes, Riku’s shoulders lowered. “Okay”.

“I have somewhere. It’s safe, don’t worry. But it’s not ‘Riku friendly’,” Sora assured him, his fingers moving in air quotes to make his point.

“You can’t just sleep here?” Riku chewed the inner side of his right cheek, not fully sold on the idea of letting Sora go after he’d just got him back.

“I need to go in the water, Riku. I’m still half a fish or whatever,” Sora mumbled through pursed lips. “I don’t usually stay out this long and it isn’t feeling the best – not gonna lie.”

Sora shifted his hips and wriggled them side-to-side as he began to slip back down over the short ledge of the trawler. Riku followed closely on his knees until Sora sat on the edge of the swimmer platform. Sora’s tail swished and glided like silk ribbons in the wind beneath the surface of the sea, now dark and ominous with unknown depths.

Riku didn’t go underneath the rail to join him. He only drew his knees to his chest and gripped the bars tightly as he rested his forehead against the cool metal, trying to soothe the pounding against his skull. Riku was the strong one and he had to keep it together. Sora wasn’t leaving him, he would be back. Back with him. Then they would sort this all out. He would find a way because he had to. Because he promised.

“I will be back, Riku.” Sora twisted to gaze in his eyes and Riku couldn't believe he was really letting him go right now.

“Promise me.” He hadn’t meant it to sound so pathetic and desperate. But he was.

“I promise.”

Riku sat alone and breathed heavily as he shut his eyes to the world, trying to comprehend what had just happened and how real it had been.

The comforting sounds of water lapping against the gently rocking boat helped calm his mind. The wind ruffled his hair and the small flickers of water against his skin felt lively against the night air. His breathing began to slow to a more even in-and-out, and the pinch between his brow melted away. Feeling more composed, Riku tried to remember when the ocean had begun to move again, when the wind had returned, and when the music had stopped.

Chapter Text

259 days

The bed (to put it generously) in the trawler’s cabin was about as comfortable to sleep on as a cement slab. The thin foam mattress only assisted in enabling constant tossing and turning to seek an ever alluding position of tolerability. To have any level of adequate sleep was difficult on a normal night – but tonight? Riku couldn’t get a wink of it.

He still couldn’t decide if seeing Sora was real or some kind of sunbaked hallucination. God he was beautiful though, more so than Riku remembered – if that was even possible. There was something ethereal about him now.

Riku thought he should be feeling more of an urgency in planning how he was going to fix this Sora-is-basically-a-fish problem, but every time he tried to turn his mind in that direction something tugged him away like the currents in the ocean. The dominating force in his brain was just Sora Sora Sora and how desperately he needed to see and hear his voice again.

Tucking his legs to his chest, Riku rested his chin on his left knee as he gazed at the door of the cabin. It was pitch black and the ocean waters felt supernatural and eerie this time of night so he stayed inside. The fine translucent hairs that covered his chest and back perked up from the chill in the night air and his stomach churned with a bubbly sound. He hadn’t actually eaten anything since that morning, so preoccupied by their reunion and his thoughts that it hadn’t registered. Seeing Sora again suddenly felt distant for a moment and Riku realised he was starving. 

Kicking off the navy cotton top sheet that bunched up over his ankles, he shifted to plant his feet on the floor. A pop sounded as Riku stretched his arms up above his head and twisted his back to either side. There was a small bar fridge tucked under a low bench which Riku had stocked with a few drinks and longish lasting snacks. Usually he spent a few hours each day fishing over the side of the deck but he hadn’t done that for a while and his supply had officially run out. Riku scrunched up his nose as he made a mental note to fish a bit in the morning – not partially fond of the activity. Riku had always acted like it was easy and “not a big deal, Sora” as he would gut them in front of his smaller companion. In truth, Riku hated it. It was just another show off move to impress his best friend.

Settling for some bread that seemed only slightly questionable, Riku smeared a thick glob of honey over the surface and proceeded to eat it in only three mouthfuls. Riku absentmindedly sucked on his fingertips to remove any sticky residue as he wandered over to crack open the door and peer outside – and ohh shit his knees gave out for a second as a wave of vertigo swept over him. 

It was back – the sound idea. It flowed in one ear and out of the other.

“What the…” Riku slurred as he suddenly became very tired. Exhausted. His legs wobbled a little and he gripped the doorframe like he could crack and splinter the wood. He managed to stumble his way back to the bed. His hand reached for the mattress as he fell toward it. Crawling to make his way entirely on the bed, Riku curled on his side and the uneasiness settled a little bit. Confusion and a hint of fear flushed his body as his heavy eyes fell shut and sleep overcame him instantly.

0 days

The air was crisp in a way that felt refreshing rather than cold as Riku stared longingly across the ocean. The waves rolled against the trawler, causing it to rise and fall in a predictability that was reassuring to Riku. He still felt unsettled from the previous night.

The island he believed he’d seen the day before was still somewhat silhouetted on the horizon – but it was so far away that it could be a rock formation or even just a trick of his mind. Riku had made sure to set his course in that direction the moment he recognised the odd shape when he rose that morning. Content that everything was in order, he relaxed himself against the railing as the line he had cast earlier dragged slowly through the current.

The summer sun shone delicately upon the top of his head, warming it up and easing him into a more relaxed state as his mind raced over recent events: finding Sora, discovering he was a mermaid – or would it be merman? – and how it didn’t really make any sense, the weird tug-of-war of his thoughts, and the unexpected vertigo during the night.

If it all was real, because a part of him thought maybe it wasn’t, Riku was just so thankful to have found his best friend so he could bring him home. What he had felt when his eyes had finally laid upon Sora’s form was nothing short of elation. Like a gift from the Gods, his most important person was with him once more and hopefully forever – if Riku could help it.

The love Riku held for Sora was ineffable; it had existed for as long as Riku knew what loving someone was. This love had led him to regrettable actions and imperative redemption. He just wished now, after every trial they had been through, that Riku and Sora could be at peace together. He would never ask for more than what Sora could give, but being by his side as a grown and better person, he hoped he could be what Sora deserved – whatever that may be. Whatever Sora wanted.

A wistful sigh floated from his lips which he dampened quickly with his tongue, pushing himself back off the railing so he could turn and peer down into the water. Maybe he could see Sora swimming beneath the surface. He promised he would be back – though he didn’t say when. Not knowing was killing his patience. At that moment his fishing rod began to jerk forward and in an instant Riku lifted it from its holder and started to methodically reel in its catch with controlled pulls and winds.

A respectfully sized snapper flicked its body erratically as it was lifted from its natural environment. The pinkish-red of its scales glistened as the sun reflected off its body, but it was hard to appreciate the attractive colours as it flailed about helplessly. Riku’s stomach twisted in remorse as he prepared himself for the kill.

Riku carried the snapper a short distance to an aluminium bench that connected to the outside wall of the cabin by the door. Holding the snapper down and removing the hook from its mouth, Riku apologised as he grabbed his priest and soundly thumped it on its head, right between the eyes. The fish was immediately still and Riku breathed a sigh of relief before twisting his face in dismay at the thought of the bleeding and gutting he was about to do.

Not much time had passed between the unpleasantness of preparing freshly caught fish to grilling it on the small portable appliance – which Riku had discovered when he purchased the boat. The smell wafting from the snapper as it cooked made the starving man salivate – as the piece of not-quite-but-basically-stale bread eaten during the night hadn’t satiated his hunger. Riku didn’t have much to work with – no seasonings or even a lemon. The fish would be eaten ‘as is’, which suited him fine. Riku had always enjoyed food most in its natural state anyway. Sora on the other hand – Riku smiled as he remembered – liked to smother almost everything in sauces and the like.

It was approaching midday by the time Riku sat down on the deck, legs sprawled out in front of him as he leant against the side wall. He placed his lunch in between his legs and slowly ate off the plate as his mind began to race once more. The distraction of cooking had worn off and he was starting to suspect that Sora wouldn’t be coming again – or possibly that he’d never been there to begin with. Either way, despair was settling in the pit of his stomach.

Riku also noticed how calm the water had become. It felt like the boat wasn’t even moving anymore. A familiar feeling of uncertainty itched under his skin as he popped another piece of flaky fish into his mouth. Careful of stepping on his food, Riku stood to his feet and immediately noticed there was no wind – which was unnatural and foreboding. He swallowed nervously as his eyes darted around, searching for Sora. This feeling… this atmosphere – it felt the same as when he’d found Sora. But there was something else – wasn’t there? – something he couldn’t remember.

His feet padded heavily against the timber as he rushed towards the swimmer platform and hung himself over the edge to look down. 

“Howdy,” Sora winked, flashing a pair of cheesy finger guns. His hair was drenched like he had only just breached the surface, water tracing the curves of his face in thick streams.

Riku breathed out an astonished laugh at the sight as his heart lifted like a bird catching its wind. “You’re back.”

“As promised,” Sora nodded with a salute. “Like I said – I’ll always come back to you, Riku.”

“Hold up, I’ve got something for you,” Riku announced as he quickly ducked away. Back in moments, he lifted himself over the railing to bring himself down to the swimmer platform, dunking his legs into the sea. He’d put his boardies and a loose button up t-shirt on to dress for the occasion – unlike yesterday. His other clothes were still trying to dry on the deck.

He held out the plate he was balancing in his left hand to Sora, a few pieces of grilled snapper on offer. He’d made sure not to eat it all. Riku had been concerned about Sora’s general wellbeing, including where he was getting his food from.

“Oh!” Sora’s eyes widened as he lifted himself up further by his hands on the edge of the platform and inspected the food closely. “You cooked it?”

“Obviously.” Riku hated raw fish.

“Oh– ahh…” Sora hesitated, face twisting in distaste. “I, ah, don’t eat that.”

Sora must have noticed the look of utter confusion on Riku’s face as he quickly backtracked his words.

“I mean, ah, not anymore.” He laughed. “This form, I guess it just makes everything a little different, you know?”

Riku shook his head, confusion morphing into concern.

Sora began drumming his fingers against the platform. “What I mean is – I guess I prefer things a little more… raw?” he spoke through a nervous smile.

Riku’s shoulders slumped as he looked at the cold, grilled fish on his plate. “Right.” He hadn’t meant to sound so disappointed but he wanted to do something meaningful for Sora, something to take care of him.

“Aw Riku! Don’t look like such a sad little puppy!” Sora teased. “You eat up, it’s all good! I promise I’ve been doing okay in that department.”

Feeling a little reassured, Riku finished off the rest of his catch before twisting around and dropping the plate through the railings onto the deck. A loud clunk could be heard and Riku recoiled at the sound.

“Oops.” He grimaced.

Sora laughed.

~

They basked in each other's company for a while, soft conversation and a myriad of questions from Riku. He wanted to know everything about Sora: where he’d been, what he’d been doing, where he was sleeping, whatever he could think to ask. Every question seemed to be dodged with a flick of the wrist, a half hearted joke, or redirected onto Riku. Riku would start to feel suspicious or frustrated but just as those feelings arose, they quickly dissipated with a sparkling gaze or endearing smile from his companion. 

“Oh Riku…” Sora’s voice slipped from his lips like silk as he gazed his sapphire eyes over Riku’s face. He wore a soft smile, a hint of I-know-something-you-don’t hidden in the sharp cover of his mouth. “I still can’t believe you’re really here and that I didn’t just dream yesterday.”

“Yeah,” Riku responded intelligently.

Sora’s smile only grew wider as he pushed himself up with his hands on the platform, resting his stomach against the edge. He leant in close – real close – and Riku’s skin got a little warm.

“Crazy huh… how we were so close to each other but so far away at the same time?” The younger boy asked as thick water droplets fell from his hair onto Riku’s skin.

Riku couldn’t seem to focus completely on the object of his affections and the entire reason for his being. Absolutely ludicrous. He was so happy, so relieved, but it was like instincts buried deep below his core were fighting to push him away – leave, something isn’t right . He tensed as he stared at the still water around his knees, only rippling from the movements of the two of them.

‘What is wrong with me… Sora is right here. It’s more than the best I could have ever hoped for.’ Riku thought sternly to himself.

Sora sank back down to his shoulders and tilted his head to the side before he gently ran his fingers up and down the side of Riku’s leg beneath the water. This jolted Riku out of his thoughts with a sharp intake of breath.  

“Riku…is everything okay?” Sora asked slowly and quietly as if the asking would draw out a response from the other.

“Yes.” His reply was quick and definite. Unintentional. “Yes – yes . I– I just, you know, I just can’t believe this, you know?” Words poured out faster than planned and Riku’s brain wasn't keeping up. He tried to always think carefully about words. The best arrangement to convey his feelings, his thoughts. He wasn’t always good at that and had paid the price for it. But now it was just a mess.

“Wow, you know? Here you are!” A heavy breath breached his chest. “Is this real, though? I mean, I came here hoping you’d be here. But you are here. And that’s stupid because that’s what I wanted? But it’s not what I thought.”

Sora’s eyes were wide and alluring and fucking gorgeous as he quietly allowed Riku’s rambling to continue, his fingers a constant tickle against the older boy’s skin.

Riku’s fingers were twitching.

He couldn’t slow down – why couldn’t he think about this? Something was there preventing deeper thought. Riku felt out of control and out of character.

“It’s great – it’s great. Amazing actually. But am I stupid? I spent so long – so long – searching for you. Everyone has. Kairi is literally knocked out, searching her dreams for you. And here you are!”

‘Am I breathing?’ Riku’s mind zapped. This wasn’t like him. Sora’s fingers continued their caress.

“You’ve been here, at home, the whole time. Just like that. Am I so stupid to not think you’d be here from the beginning?” Riku’s body trembled as he searched for breath. “I am so stupid. ”

“No… no no no.” Sora shook his head vigorously. “Riku… no.”

Riku managed to hold his sight to Sora’s worried expression and he felt guilty for causing it. Sora slipped his hands to the inside of Riku’s knees and gently eased them apart to make room for him to nestle between. His soft palms ran up the tops of his thighs and slender fingers glided just under the leg of his boardshorts. Now for an entirely different reason, Riku felt like he was short circuiting.

“You’re not stupid…” Sora's voice and fingers (which Riku was very aware of) soothed gently. “You’re beyond stupid.”

“Wait, what?” Those delicate touches were forgotten and the rapid rising in his chest abruptly stopped like a record scratch.

“You’re not stupid, Riku,” Sora smiled encouragingly.

Riku started to laugh – a real belly laugh – and it was a sweet, sweet relief. The knots in his stomach were unravelling.

“What?” Sora blinked before the corner of his mouth twitched as he realised he’d done something. “What?” He laughed and squeezed Riku’s legs.

“You called me ‘beyond stupid’,” Riku huffed as his laugh settled.

Sora stared at him brightly in amusement but clearly didn't get the joke. “Huh?”

“It means I am stupider than stupid.” Riku leant back on his hands as he smirked down at Sora’s reddening face.

“That’s not what I meant!” the younger boy squeaked, which just made him even redder.

Riku shook his head and sighed happily. “I know, Sora. Thank you.”

Sora slowly started to slip down, hands sliding along the other’s legs until nothing but the top of his head, eyes, and nose peeked above the surface, blowing bubbles as he glared playfully.

“Come for a swim,” Sora suggested as he popped his head fully back up. “It’ll feel nice.”

“I feel better. It’s all good,” Riku reassured with a wave of his hand. Truthfully, though it pained him to admit, he was a little… apprehensive to get in the water with Sora. And he didn’t know why.

How Sora managed to pull a face of both incredibility and sass impressed Riku, though it quickly warped into something more competitive.

“Don’t wanna get wet, Riku?” Sora challenged. “Ruin your hair?”

“Yes, Sora. I don’t want to ruin my hair,” Riku deadpanned.

Realising that Riku would not play his games, Sora puffed out his cheeks as he pouted and pulled on the older boy’s ankles.

Riku felt his resolve melting away by his ultimate weakness – Sora himself.

“Fine,” he sighed.

“Whoop!” Sora cheered, punching his fist up to the sky.

The water had never felt like this before. Even though he held his breath as he dove beneath the still surface, life seemed to fill his lungs. Silver hair lifted from his scalp, tingling in excitement. Fingers intertwined with his, encouraging him to turn and look at his best friend. Sora was blurry as he stared, the salty water stinging his eyes only a little. The younger of the two drew his mouth into a wide, toothy smile before he yanked Riku toward him, moving so they were almost parallel to each other. Sora’s tail whisked up and brushed delicately along and in between Riku's legs, extending far beyond his height. The hairs on Riku’s legs stood up as goosebumps appeared from the light touch. Riku pushed bubbles from his nose as he ducked his head down to gaze wonderstruck at scales glistening like stars and down to the fin so transparent it looked like it may tear with the tiniest scratch.

Sora pushed them both along, swimming on his back as he stared contentedly at Riku. His thumbs dug into rib bones as he held Riku firmly, but Riku didn’t mind – far too lost in the coffee coloured hair fluffed out like fairy-floss, softly framing Sora’s face.

A moment later they broke the surface and Sora laughed at Riku’s hair stuck over his eyes.

“Nice,” he responded flatly with a twitch of his upper lip before ducking under and quickly resurfacing. He flicked his hair back and smoothed it down slowly with his hands.

“Suave,” Sora teased with a wriggle of his eyebrows before mimicking the action with exaggeration. “Sexy.”

Riku responded to the mockery by shooting water from his pursed lips with surprising force and accuracy, splashing against his target. Sora retched back in disgust and ducked under the water, scrubbing at his face.

“Gross!” the brunet wailed as he breached the surface.

Very maturely, Riku stuck out his tongue before he swam back toward the swimmer platform of the trawler, fighting off the pink hue tinting his nose and the tips of his ears.

‘Sexy,’ he recalled in embarrassment.

“Hey, so actually…” Riku began as he hurled himself up, ironing out his nerves. “How are we doing this?” His mind felt calmer now and he wanted to take advantage of his coherent thoughts.

“Hm?” Sora swam lazily on his side. “Whaddya mean?”

“Ah, leaving here obviously.” He leant down and swished his hand quickly atop the water, squarely splashing Sora in the face.

Sora spluttered in shock and shook his head like a wet dog, flicking water back toward Riku with a grin.

“Well?” Riku hummed. It was about time they spoke about this seriously. 

Sora’s nature had always been to go with the moment, follow your heart, and soak up the sun when you can – as long as there was nothing to fight and no one to save. Riku often found it amusing, as people often thought Sora loved adventure and would always want to be on the move – when in fact he loved nothing more than sleeping on sandy dunes and sparring with his friends.

Riku was the one who had wanted to leave the islands and discover new worlds. Riku has always been the one wanting to see more, who needed to know more than what was in front of him. He hadn’t been afraid as he stood staring into the darkness, its depths full of promises – until everything changed. Now he was terrified of staring into that abyss alone, because nothing was worth knowing unless Sora was by his side through it all.

Sora was safe, Riku had found him, and from what the older of the two could tell, Sora was more than content with that.

Riku held out his arm and summoned Braveheart into his hand. The sun reflected off the smooth metal and the weight felt safe and familiar. Sora put some distance between him as Riku rested Braveheart across his lap.

“I was thinking… I could try and transform you back myself,” Riku mused.

“...How would you do that?” Sora eyed Braveheart uncertainly.

“Magic?” Riku laughed. “I don’t know. I just thought if I focused on the memory of you I hold in my heart that it could, ah, change you back.”

Sora hummed in thought and gave a small nod. “It’s worth a shot.”

A deep, chesty sigh was pushed from Riku’s mouth as he gave a short firm nod in his resolve to give this one heck of a good go. Magic wasn’t really his strongest skill. He was good, no doubt, but Sora was always better. His competitive side would never admit it to him though.

Riku swung Braveheart around until the tip rested on the deck. Using the Keyblade like a crutch, Riku pushed himself up to his feet and took a few steps back. The dry timber planks warmed his bare soles and he shifted his stance so he was balanced and sturdy. He felt a little silly wielding his Keyblade in boardshorts. That feeling only deepened when he made eye contact with Sora, who was sporting a goofy lopsided grin as he stared intriguingly in Riku’s direction.

“Lookin’ good,” Sora teased, “ Master Riku.”

The title rolled off his tongue hypnotically. Thick and globby. Riku shook his head as though to fight something off him. The older boy scrunched up his eyes repeatedly, trying to blink away a film coating his mind.

Riku felt like he was swimming in molasses as he tried to chase his thoughts, as they only got harder, slower, and darker.

‘What am I doing again?’ he wondered as he stumbled.

A loud clanging sound echoed in his ears but vanished just as quickly.

‘What was…I dropped my Ke-’ A small panic, but quickly forgotten.

Like a light in an endless dark tunnel, Riku was given a small reprieve from the drowning of his consciousness as he heard the soft notes of too familiar music break through.

“Aw man…” he slurred and his knees buckled.

And then nothing.

Chapter Text

-2 days

Riku’s chest rose to the sky as he jolted violently awake. Sharp, hot pain shot through his entire body and Riku howled in agony, his dry lips cracking and splitting open. Daring not to move again, he breathed in and out of his nose heavily in quick succession while his heart pounded rapidly, like someone banging on a door begging to be let in – frantic and arrhythmic. Riku’s lungs were expanding, rising higher and higher in his chest, threatening to burst from their cage.

The summer sun was beating down on his form mercilessly. It was hot . Hotter than he ever thought it could be in Destiny Islands. His skin felt tight and searing. Not knowing what had happened to him was sending Riku into a spiral of panic, confusion, and fear. And the pain . He had to have been sunburnt to extreme, horrifying levels. He couldn’t move, and as much as he wanted to open his eyes to survey the trawler, he was scared of the consequences and what he would see when he looked down at his body.

How and when did this happen? He remembered he was going to try and transform Sora back using his Keyblade. He remembered feeling…tired, fuzzy.

Did he pass out? And if he did – for how long?

Riku’s tongue peeled slowly off the roof of his mouth as he tried to speak. 

“So - ah - ha.” 

The only sounds he could muster were careful, croaky, and barely audible – pushed from a dry, aching throat. The blood from his split lips ran down to the tip of his tongue, tasting like metal.

Magic obviously came to mind. There was no way he was going to come out of this without it. Knowing he had to calm down, Riku tried to slow his breathing to focus through the pain. It was no easy task. The more he tried to calm his mind, the more other symptoms of his condition started to become apparent. His head was throbbing and nausea sloshed around his stomach like stale water in a bucket. With a small whimper in the back of his throat, Riku concentrated on gathering his intention to cast a small Cure. Soft green light danced and swirled its way around Riku’s body, blanketing him in a transparent glow before vanishing. Riku gasped for air like he’d been drowning before a loud groan echoed from his heaving chest, releasing some of his discomfort. The pain and nausea were still present, his skin was stinging and sore, but he could move.

Daring to open his eyes, he was instantly blinded by the intense light of the sun and threw his head to the side – which sent him spinning. His face scrunched up tightly, and Riku tried to focus again on his breathing. 

In and out. 

In and out. 

The spinning triggered a wave of dread and he began to tremble in fear. Riku remembered the vertigo, he remembered the feeling of losing his balance and losing himself.

Once his head settled and his body calmed, Riku hesitantly peaked from his left eye, gazing through the small opening mostly obscured by dark lashes. He could see along the timber planks of the deck and followed them as they ran to the edge. They were bone dry. Hesitantly, Riku glanced down to peer at his arm. Eyes now wide open with horror, a sorrowful moan escaped his lips. They were what he expected. Scorched and blistering. Riku could only imagine what his skin must have been like before the small Cure, and that only made him sicker.

After a moment of adjusting to his – only slightly – less excruciating condition, Riku steadied himself before whispering a Cura with more resolve. His eyes closed softly as his body was once more bathed in green light, embracing him longer than before. The relief was instant. It felt reminiscent of the cool waterfalls back home that he and Sora used to stand under to cool off after long days of races, sparring, and tomfoolery. The Cura didn’t completely recover his body, but Riku managed to sit himself up – only to immediately vomit between his legs. Greenish-yellow bile coated the timber and Riku’s sore throat burned from the acidic assault.

Woefully, he whimpered at his state as he spat out whatever lingered in his mouth. Riku hung his head, body like a floppy ragdoll as he sat hunched forward, arms heavy by his side and legs slightly bent at the knee. There was no more energy to spend in healing himself further.

Time felt still as he sat unmoving. He wondered how this could have happened, what Sora did as he fell. 

Sora.

The thought made his heart race – though he wasn’t sure if it was from anticipation or fear. The two feelings seemed to be blurring together. Riku’s toes curled as he recalled strong hands and wet fingers sliding along his legs, and bright, blue eyes swirling with mirth like ocean pools. How he wished he could just hold Sora again, taste the salt on his skin and hear his teasing voice. Riku’s heart yearned for Sora as it did everyday. One more moment together, that was all he needed. Just one more moment and he’d get them home. He had to. He promised.

After an unmeasurable amount of time, Riku somehow brought himself to his feet. He swayed and stumbled toward the cabin. He pressed his forehead against the wooden door as he fumbled for the handle. Once he pulled the door open, Riku used the frame and the walls to help him move into the cabin toward the bar fridge.

Riku leaned against the counter as a large bottle was quickly brought to his lips. He relished in the sensation of the cold water running down his aching throat and soothing his insides. He gasped in delight, “Fuck,” and threw the bottle aside. The plastic bounced off the back wall and fell to the ground.

Feeling a little calmer, Riku tried to push his hair off his face but his fingers caught in the matted strands, windblown and full of sea salt. His scalp was so tender he had to carefully unthreaded his fingers as he pursed his lips in concern.

He needed more energy for at least one more Cure. Opening the fridge door once more, Riku swore as he noticed there was no more food and only two remaining bottles of fresh water.

“Fuck!” He shouted as he slammed the door shut, rocking the small fridge on its unbalanced feet.

Aquamarine eyes darted frantically around the room and landed on the only condiment he’d packed – a jar of honey. Grateful for anything, he grabbed the jar and had his index and middle finger swirling through the liquid gold in a matter of seconds. He scooped out a generous glob and sucked on his fingers until every morsel was on his tongue. It was smooth and sweet, with a faint taste of macadamia, and Riku decided it was the best thing he had ever eaten.

After four more rounds of the 5-star meal, Riku squeezed out what he knew would be the last Cure in a long time. The cabin lit up in the green glow as the healing magic appeared above Riku’s head, then fell over him like a delicate rain shower. His skin was now only a deep pink, comparable to an average sunburn after a few hours of high UV. The pounding in his head was quieter now also, but nausea still twisted in his gut. It could be the sun exposure, it could be that he was starving, but there was nothing for it now.

‘Okay,’ Riku thought with a clap of his hands. He was feeling functional. Functional enough to work out what the hell was going on.

He faltered at the door. 

The sun…

The same sun that Riku always enjoyed…

He was afraid.

Riku could feel his chest becoming heavy again. It was getting harder to breathe. The wave was building, rising. It was going to break.

“Calm down…” he whispered to himself. “Breathe.” Riku placed his hand over his heart, urging it to slow down. “You’re okay,” He soothed. “You’re safe.”

After a moment, Riku encouraged himself to open the door and step into the light.

As he slowly moved across the deck, Riku diligently surveyed the area through squinted eyes. His arms hugged his body and he took small, soft steps. Suddenly, the hairs on his neck stood up as he abruptly stopped and waited. A light breeze brushed against his skin reassuringly. Shoulders dropped and Riku felt stupid as he continued his way to the railing. 

The deep blue ocean stretched far and wide and rolled in even intervals. It was quiet except for the rhythmic sound of the current and the sloshing of water against the boat as it swayed. Judging by the position of the sun and the intensity of its rays, it had to have been around midday. Nothing was on the horizon, just blue as far as the eye could see.

Riku’s eyebrows rose as he blinked wildly. “Wait…”

He hurried to the opposite side. “Oh no. No no no.” He backed away, shaking his head.

The island – the land he’d been coursing toward, it was gone!

A loud, strained whine pushed through his tightly closed lips. Riku had no idea where he was. He had no more magic. He was lost.

The side of the trawler abruptly tipped up, causing Riku to lose his footing and stumble, falling forward. He braced himself, catching hold of the railing as his lower stomach pushed painfully against it. The force almost caused him to flip overboad. He stumbled back on his heels as the boat balanced out back to position. 

And like the world had just pressed the “pause” button, everything seemed to come to a standstill as Riku heard their sound idea begin to play. The harmony started in his heart and spread through his system like the roots of a tree. It played loudly, drowning out all other noise.

Riku’s heart began to race in anticipation and he hurried to the rail once more to study the ocean’s movement.

It was still like a frozen lake and the breeze had disappeared.

“Sora!” Riku shouted in panic. “ Sora!”

He ran to look down on the swimmer platform but there was no sign of his best friend. Quickly, he shut himself inside the cabin and slid to the floor with his back pressed firmly against the door. His hands covered his ears to try and quiet the music and stop the impending fatigue and loss of consciousness.

A beautiful song that represented his and Sora’s hearts in tune was now a dreadful omen. A tear escaped the tightly shut corner of his eye and ran down his pink cheek.

“Riku?” Sora’s voice cut through the music. It sounded far away, and like he was calling out to him from an old muffly speaker box.

Frozen in fear, Riku didn’t respond. He felt like he was going to be sick – the nausea combined with the spike of fear and panic he was experiencing was only going to result in one outcome.

“Riku? Are you there?” Sora’s soft, concerned voice continued to break through. “Are you okay?”

Riku lowered his hands, uncovering his ears. “Sora,” he spoke softly between ragged breaths. He didn’t understand what was happening. Was he in danger? Was Sora in danger?

‘Was Sora the danger?’ he thought, alarmed.

“Riku,” Sora called slowly, “If you can hear me, please come out.”

Like in a trance, Riku rose to his feet and exited the cabin. He didn’t feel in control of his body as he walked to the end of the boat where the swimmer platform floated just below. Riku felt trapped in his mind, screaming, questioning everything as he moved.

Wide and spellbinding eyes greeted him as he looked over the edge. Riku felt lighter and bewitched as Sora smiled warmly at him.

Sora’s smile quickly disappeared as he gasped, hands covering his mouth in surprise. “Your skin,” he said sorrowfully. “You’re burnt.”

“Yeah… I – When I passed out, I must’ve got sunburnt,” Riku explained. He didn’t want to dive any further into the condition he was really in when he woke up – he didn’t want to worry Sora unnecessarily, but also didn’t want to remember.

“Oh Riku, I was so worried!” Sora began as he drummed his fingers loudly against the platform. “When you fell, I – I couldn’t get to you!” He continued in a flurry.

Sora shook his head as he looked down intensely. “I couldn’t wake you up…”

“I’m okay,” Riku found himself saying. So far from the truth, it caught him off guard how easily the words fell from his mouth. Seeing Sora – his fears and anxiety melted away and his muscles relaxed.

“Hm, it’s not too bad I suppose,” Sora spoke, like it was more to himself than to Riku. “Hey! You got any aloe or somethin’?”

“Aloe vera?” Riku asked.

“Yeah!” Sora nodded. “I could totally help you put some on. It would help.”

Sora laughed as he started recalling a story of the two of them napping on the beach when Riku’s mind started to drift.

The music was still playing but it was more like a constant note vibrating in the dark recesses of his mind.

“Can’t you hear that?” Riku interrupted.

Sora stopped mid sentence with a pout. “Hear what?” he asked.

“The music,” Riku replied, leaning down closely to Sora. He spoke in a whisper, like someone or something could be listening.

“...Music?” Sora cocked his head to the side. He scrunched up his face as he concentrated on his hearing.

He looked adorable, Riku noted, completely charmed by his friend.

“What does it sound like?” Sora peeked one eye open for a second as he asked.

Riku’s face flushed redder than his sunburnt skin. “Our, ah – the sound idea we put together. During the exam.”

“Oh…” Sora’s face relaxed as he smiled softly. “I love that song.”

‘I love you,’ Riku thought instantly.

“But Riku, I don’t hear anything.” Sora dropped his head in his hand as he rested his elbow on top of the platform. His eyes flicked up to Riku and studied the older boy's face. 

Ashen blue scales lifted and glistened in the sunlight as Sora swayed his tail side-to-side. Water rippled out from the movement and it was disturbing how they would fade into complete stillness.

“How did it start again?”

Riku’s eyes snapped away from the water to meet Sora’s gaze. “Huh?”

“Our song…” Sora’s head tilted up a little more as his eyelids drooped heavily. Pearly white teeth, glistening from the wet of his mouth, slowly came into view as his lips peeled back in an amused smile.

Riku swallowed thickly as he became very aware of himself under Sora’s heavy lidded gaze. Sora’s focus shifted to the bobbing of Riku’s throat and his teeth dragged against his bottom lip after wetting it with his tongue.

Closing his eyes to concentrate, and not from embarrassment, Riku listened to their song. He began to hum the tune softly in time with the music sounding in his head. He couldn’t believe he was entertaining this right now – this wasn’t normal. But Sora had asked him too.

Soon Sora joined him, humming his part and their sounds came together in harmony. Riku’s heart soared as he peered back at Sora, who was lifted on his hands and leaning close to his side. Only Sora could bring back the magic and special feeling of their song. There probably wasn’t even anything to worry about. Maybe their hearts had just called to each other so they could meet again – like some kind of special unique phenomenon. Crazier things have happened. Riku had drifted quite a ways away – how else could Sora have found him?

Sora hoisted himself up then, sitting on the platform, tail pressed firmly against Riku’s left thigh.

“Riku…” Sora murmured as his wet fingertips gently traced the line of Riku’s jaw.

Riku’s heart pounded and his fingers twitched against the platform before gripping onto the edge tightly.

Sora continued: “I know you wanna get out of here, leave and go back to everyone.” 

“Together.”

“Together,” Sora nodded before leaning in closely. The wet hair framing his forehead brushed near Riku’s eye as he rested his body against Riku’s side – as flush as he could get.

“But you know… we could be together here too.” A quiet suggestion, made against flushed skin as Sora’s lips ghosted over Riku’s cheek. “Just the two of us.”

Silver eyebrows furrowed deeply as Riku took Sora’s wandering fingers into his own. Entwined hands were brought down to rest on Riku’s lap.

“Sora… what are you talking about?”

“Don’t you think this is a great opportunity?” Sora smiled as he pulled his face slightly away to watch their fingers slip and rub together. They moved instinctively as they fell into a familiar behaviour that had begun for them as children.

“Let’s just stay here and not be worried about worlds and responsibilities. We deserve this.”

Daring to hope what that could mean, Riku whispered, “This?”

“You and me. Together.” 

Riku tightened his fingers around Sora’s.

“You want that, right?” Sora’s breath was warm as his voice slipped out like silk. It sounded sultry and alluring and yes Riku did very much want that.

Feelings that he thought he had overcome broke free of their vault and the deep desire to have Sora all to himself flooded his senses.

All Riku could do was nod – his better judgment had officially jumped overboard.

Sora locked eyes with Riku with an intensity he had only ever seen on the battlefield. Sora slowly lifted their joined hands and brought Riku's knuckles to his lips.

An embarrassing noise squeaked from the back of Riku’s throat. He was filled with nervous energy, heart racing as he locked away the sensation of Sora’s soft lips to memory.

“You’ll stay with me,” Sora stated against Riku’s knuckles. “You won’t leave me.”

“Never,” Riku agreed in a breathy, low tone.

“Mm...”

The direction things seemed to be moving caused Riku to shift his hips uncomfortably. Was Sora really returning his feelings after all this time? Did Sora know about his feelings? He had to know…surely. With the way he was acting.

No – this wasn’t real. Riku almost laughed. No way.

Against every screaming urge in his body, Riku withdrew his hand from those sweet, plump lips, and huffed out a nervous laugh.

“I – look Sora, you gotta know… do you know – ah” Riku began, his eyes flicking anywhere but Sora’s handsome face. Sora was looking at him so earnestly.

A water droplet tracing the collar bone of sunkissed skin caught Riku’s attention. Mesmerised, he followed the determined droplet as it ran down the centre of Sora’s sternum and pooled in the crease of folded skin. Riku’s mouth ran dry.

“Do I know what?” Sora teased, a knowing glint in his eye.

“You know that I care for you.” Riku swallowed. “Deeply.”

Sora laughed sweetly and Riku felt a little humiliated as he tried to articulate his feelings without stating the obvious truth.

“Mmm?” Sora hummed as he smiled widely, round cheeks pushing up his eyes to a squint. He pushed himself to turn his hips and hoisted his tail up to flop it over Riku’s lap. 

It was heavy, wet, and slippery. The rest of the length of scales and fins dropped and flowed out into the water. Sora’s toned but slender arms draped around Riku’s shoulders. 

Speechless for a second, Riku looked over Sora in awe. Sora became a little bashful and pulled the corner of his bottom lip between his teeth.

“…that’s it I guess.” Riku felt dumb. He felt frozen. Didn’t know what to do with his hands.

“That’s it?” Sora murmured, leaning in.

It most certainly was not it. Sora was Riku’s everything. Sora had complete reign of his heart.

Riku felt queasy from nervousness. “Y-yeah.”

Sora’s eyes were half lidded as his face came in closer and closer and ‘ oh god was this really happening?’

If Sora kissed him right now, Riku felt like he would just die.

Sora bumped his nose against Riku’s and a nervous puff of breath warmed Riku’s lips.

“Riku… if you don’t kiss me right now I’m gonna pass out.”

His lips met Sora’s hesitantly at first, mostly due to the surreal nature of the situation, but that quickly changed.

Riku groaned against Sora’s soft mouth as his hands wrapped around the smaller body, pressing firmly against his naked upper back. It was heavenly. Outerworldly. It was better than anything he could have ever imagined.

Sora tasted salty but sweet, and his scent of sunscreen and coconut was overwhelming. Riku inhaled deeply through his nose as their mouths slipped together, their heads tilting to join impossibly closer. 

Sora moaned his name between long kisses, sending Riku into a frenzy of want, repeating Sora’s name in reverence.

They separated reluctantly as breathing was becoming a tricky thing to navigate around the need to remain lip locked.

Sora’s flushed cheeks and dazed eyes were doing crazy things to Riku. He licked his lips, savouring the addictive taste of Sora and rubbed his hands down his smooth back, committing every dip and curve to memory.

“Sun’s going down…” Sora pressed his forehead against Riku’s. “Will be dark soon.”

“Don’t tell me you’re leaving me.” Riku dug his fingertips into the soft flesh above Sora’s tail. “Not after that.”

Sora rubbed his nose against Riku’s apologetically. “I’m sorry, but I can’t stay.”

“Don’t go anywhere…” Sora spoke against Riku’s sensitive lips. “I’ll be back…right here. Tomorrow.” Sora turned his face away just as Riku started to apply more pressure against that seductive mouth. “You’re tired anyway.”

Spoken like a spell, Riku suddenly felt exhausted. “Yeah… I suppose I am.”

Sora spun around and lifted his tail off Riku’s lap before slipping into the ocean. His fingers ran down Riku’s legs and off his feet beneath the surface as he pushed himself backward and away from the platform.

“See you tomorrow,” Sora sang. 

Barely able to keep his eyes open, Riku waved back weakly.

“Tomorrow…”

~

The sun had disappeared below the horizon and the night sky was full of stars surrounding a bright crescent moon. Riku hadn’t moved since Sora had left – too exhausted to do more than fold his legs out of the water. His head rested against the boat as he watched the stars through slitted eyes.

The rocking of the boat was relaxing but as fatigued as he was, he couldn’t sleep. Riku could only replay the feeling of Sora’s wet lips against his, his smell, and the soft skin beneath his hands. His deepest desire, realised. Sora wanted Riku the way Riku wanted Sora.

What a dream come true.

Chapter Text

-3 days

At an unknown point in time during the night, Riku managed to carry himself back aboard the trawler and into the cabin. It was tempting to stay out on the swimming platform and continue gazing at the stars through heavy eyes despite the usual eeriness of the ocean that would normally keep Riku carefully contained inside. It was the unknown inky depths home to many creatures – terrifying and predatory, and the crushing loneliness he felt when he remembered how small and insignificant he was sitting atop a never ending expansion of sea. Since he’d never actually had the opportunity to explore the Destiny Islands past the Play Island and the township, Riku had often wondered how far it truly went – would he eventually circle back or would he fall off the earth into the vastness of space?

As he carefully peeled off his clothes that had become dry and crusty with salt, he remembered how, when he and Sora were much younger, Riku would often lie on his back against the soft sand furthest from the shoreline. He would stare in wonder for hours at the stars that scattered across the night sky. Riku had just known there was more out there. The Destiny Islands were far too small to be the only thing to exist in their universe. Riku had been enraptured by the small lights that twinkled innocently against the deep darkness surrounding them. He’d thought they seemed terribly brave to shine so brightly against the black abyss. Their stalwart presence each night, their otherworldly steadfast nature, had been all a young boy needed to inspire dreams of adventure and flight beyond the stars.

Sora would always inevitably track Riku down, huffing and puffing as he exhausted himself from running through the loose and uneven sand to reach Riku –always desperate to know where his friend was, what he was doing, and why he wasn't invited.

“You’ve been watching too many alien movies.” Sora would tease. So, rationally, Riku would throw sand in his face.

He was right, in a way. All those stars – so many different worlds. It was funny how, back then, Riku desperately wanted nothing more than to leave these small Islands and discover what was out there. Now Riku only wanted to be at home with Sora safely by his side.

Maybe one day they could travel to them all together. Sora could show him all the cool stuff he had flooded his gummiphone with. 

There would be no threats of Darkness, no duties to fulfill, obligations, or responsibility.

Just Sora and Riku. Together.

‘It would be different now too,’ Riku thought as he slipped on a pair of clean, black boxers and a soft, plain white cotton shirt. He settled himself under the light top sheet on his bed and curved his body inward with his front facing the blank fibreglass wall. Riku’s knees almost reached his chest as he buried himself into the thin mattress, the padding providing very little comfort to his aching body. But the corners of his mouth lifted into a lazy smile as phantom lips brushed against his own, the fragrance of coconut lingering under his nose. Riku looked forward to dreaming of sapphire blue eyes pulling him in like whirlpools, smooth skin that dipped and curved over lean muscles, and promises of ‘ together’ and ‘this’.

Riku licked his lips – the taste of salt and warmth. How can someone taste like the feeling of thick blankets and fire?

Riku did not mind pondering this as he fell into deep sleep.

~

It was becoming more than just a coincidence that Sora appeared at midday. 

The sky was overcast — covered almost entirely by clouds that looked like thick foam. Dull yellow light illuminated odd shapes in the sky as the sun shone through, but mostly it was just muted greys stretched from horizon to horizon. Riku could tell though, despite the obstructions, that the sun had reached its peak.

Days such as these would normally dampen Riku’s mood. They brought uncertainty in the conditions he needed to prepare for – would it storm, rain? And now, new concerns – would the trawler be okay? How rough would the seas get if a squall came through?

But even more dishearteningly, these types of days made him feel lonely. Pensive.

Much of his time since the islands’ destruction had been spent alone, long before Sora’s disappearance. These days, if he managed to keep himself busy with purposeful actions, Riku found it easier to swallow the thick bile of anguish that would build up more and more with every passing day Sora was not found.

After all, what was the Moon without the Sun?

This overcast day however, Riku was giddy with anticipation. He paced up and down the deck eagerly waiting for Sora to appear from the depths. It was also a relief to have a break from the sun’s hot rays – his skin was still pink from the burns he’d suffered and he had started to peel around his knees and elbows. A Cure would be all he needed to return his skin to a healthy, pale white condition, but Riku was exhausted. He had tried, though. When he woke earlier, his fingers had scraped off every last bead of honey they could reach from within the glass jar. Riku had savoured every morsel as he sat cross legged on his bed – tongue swirling around every digit, tastebuds analysing every floral note to keep his sanity. He’d pushed and pushed for a Cure but nothing had happened. He’d tried to summon his Keyblade as well but it flickered erratically until it didn’t materialise at all.

Riku knew his fresh water supply was running critically low, and that he really should be fishing right now, but the memory of soft, wet lips and cold, smooth skin beneath his hands had Riku’s mind rearranging his priorities.

Riku leant his stomach against the railing of the back of the trawler to stare intensely at the platform below. The ocean reflected the sombre tones of the sky, appearing sad and lifeless. It had, predictably, become stagnant as the morning shifted to afternoon. If past events proved him right, Riku could expect Sora to appear at any moment. Unfortunately, even that exciting knowledge didn’t entirely erase the usual ominous feeling that pooled in his gut.

The water was so dark –  Riku couldn’t see through it at all. While he waited for movement, he allowed himself to consider the suggestion Sora had made to him while he wasn't exactly able to comprehend the weight of it.

“...We could be together here too.”

“Just the two of us.”

“Let’s just stay here… we deserve this.”

“You and me. Together.”

The notion of staying with Sora, to which Riku vaguely remembered agreeing, was overwhelming. Years of unwavering devotion, driven by love and a fool’s hope — Sora wanted him, them.

‘Me. Sora wants me. Only me.’ Riku breathed sharply out his nose, his lips in a tight line. Sora was going to be the death of him – kissing him like that and then leaving right after.

Riku found himself humming their sound idea as he reminisced.

But staying as things were… Well it just wasn’t feasible. Maybe Sora was just a little overexcited. Maybe Sora wasn’t thinking straight. Riku sure wasn’t — not with those chilled fingers sparking fires through his core. And that wet mouth. 

The music seemed to migrate from his chest and fill the air around him like a soundtrack.

Riku threw his head back with a groan at the thought of sliding his tongue along Sora’s, discovering, feeling every sensation, texture and warmth.

He cursed at himself for becoming distracted as he tipped backward, his grip on the railing keeping him from falling completely. Riku looked up to the sky and traced the outline of the foamy clouds to distract himself from his growing arousal.

They just need to talk about it. Riku knew Sora was missing his friends too, that he probably missed Kairi most of all. 

“Kairi…” he whispered softly to the bursts of light that squeezed their way out of tiny breaks in the thick cloud.

Riku’s face morphed into something remorseful. His brows furrowed deeply and his eyes flicked away from the light.

A small splash jolted Riku upright. Monochromatic greys swirled around him as the head rush hit. Annoyed, he closed his eyes and gave himself a second to settle.

A ripple in the deathly still water caught Riku’s eye immediately after. A delicate, translucent fin disrupted the surface as it flicked out for only a moment.

Sora.

Riku halted as he was about to call out, his voice catching in his throat. There was movement again — a dark silhouette slithering just beneath the surface. Its body contorted as it turned and pushed down deeper below until it was completely out of sight. The ocean felt more like a murky lake gatekeeping something sinister.

Worry flooded through him. That thing occupied the same space as Sora. Sora who had no Keyblade.

He honed his sight on a single point of the water, anxiously waiting for any more signs of movement. Whatever that thing was, with or without Keyblades or Magic, Riku would ensure it wasn’t a threat.

“Boo.”

Riku’s knee thumped painfully against the boat’s wall as his body jerked forward. “Sora?” he gasped, head turning sharply to the left.

Sora was swimming lazily on his back. His tail propelled him to Riku’s right so he was in his direct line of sight. “Hey.” He greeted Riku with an upturned lip and a wriggle of his eyebrows.

“Hey yourself,” Riku couldn’t help the wide smile taking over his face, “You trying to scare me, or what?”

“Who, me?” Sora sang sweetly as he pointed to his chest. “Not likely.”

Riku rolled his eyes but couldn’t feign his delight at seeing Sora again. A giddiness overtook him as he drank in the sight of Sora so effortlessly gliding through the sea. Sora’s arms floated close to his sides as he pushed himself backward. His chin was tucked into his chest as he kept his face upright, never losing sight of Riku. 

“Worried you’ll fall, Riku?” Sora lifted his brows and gestured his hand toward Riku. Water flicked off his fingertips and Riku wanted those hands on him immediately. “Gripping that rail awfully tight there.”

Riku quickly released the death-grip he had on the railing. He flexed his fingers and shook out his hands. “Oh,” Riku laughed awkwardly. “I didn’t notice.”

Sora chewed on his bottom lip as paused his slow backward drift. “I hope you weren’t waiting long for me.”

“Not at all,” Riku smiled with a wave of his hand. ‘I would wait forever for you.’

Grinning with a cheeky edge, Sora dipped forward as he pushed his tail down beneath the water. He swam his way to the platform he had become accustomed to and stretched his arms across the top, chest pressed against the far edge. Swishing his tail back and forth with gusto, Sora churned the water with enough force that Riku could swear he felt the boat move forward.

“Get your butt down here, Riku.” Sora ordered, patting his hands rhythmically against the platform, splashing the shallow layer of water that floated over the top.

Not having to be told twice, Riku was under the railing and sitting next to Sora in a matter of seconds, not caring if he got his shorts wet. So consumed with the knowledge that Sora reciprocated his feelings, he desperately wanted to resume what had ended so quickly the day before. It was gratifying that Sora seemed to be just as anxious as he was.

Sora’s fingers reached out and curled under the hem of Riku’s shorts, hooking them tightly to the now translucent cotton clinging to his thighs. 

Any touch from Sora had always been electric but now, with Sora looking up at Riku’s face with glistening ocean eyes so honest and alluring, Riku felt the magnitude of what it meant, and what it could become.

Riku’s arm felt heavy as he moved his hand to push the saturated hair back off Sora’s face. It felt so soft and malleable, which was unfair considering the miserable, dry condition of his own. It was probably starting to dread at this rate and Riku really didn’t want to think about the work involved to get that out.

Sora lifted himself up on his hands, his head turning and nuzzling into Riku’s palm as he went. As he reached eye level with Riku, with his hips pressing firmly against the edge of the platform, he worked Riku’s hand to slide down and cup around his jaw.

“Hey, I missed you.” Sora confessed as he relaxed the weight of his head against Riku’s hand.

Sora’s face felt so small as he supported him. Beads of gathering water threatened to drop from golden brown eyebrows as Riku pushed them away with the thumb of his other hand, following the shape of each brow, obsessing over every strand.

“Me too – I missed you too,” Riku’s voice rumbled from the back of his throat.

The hairs on Riku’s legs stood up as a shiver ran up his shorts – Sora’s left hand had moved to grab his thigh firmly in order to pull himself across and in between Riku’s knees. Before a moment of hesitation, their lips met – no longer able to wait to reconnect. Riku couldn’t tell who made the first move – it was a harmonious fusion like their heart song that continued to play delicately past his ears.

Sora pushed himself closer, Riku’s name combining with the saliva that began to ooze from the corner of his mouth. The heels of his hands dug painfully into the inner, softer flesh of Riku’s thighs as they slid inward over wet skin. Sora opted to work his tail in a strong push and pull to hold himself upright so that one of his hands could thread fingers into the gritty, silver hair, gripping firmly to Riku’s scalp.

Riku moaned deeply around Sora’s mouth as he felt the sharp pull of matted hair — the pain and pleasure mixing into an erotic combination that Riku had never thought to consider. He felt himself being pulled downward as Sora lowered himself into the ocean. One of his hands fell from Sora’s face to cover over Sora’s own, whose fingers were unrelenting in their tug and tangle.

Feeling like he was about to topple overboard, Riku murmured hesitantly against Sora’s lips, only able to repeat his name over and over as he halfheartedly attempted to break their connection.

Sora bumped his forehead against Riku’s with a breathy laugh as he put a small distance between them.

“I don’t think I will ever get over this.” Sora spoke in wonderment. “I really get to kiss you. And you let me.”

Riku could only chuckle lightly. He was in the same state of awe — still struggling to believe how he could be gifted with this amazing turn of events.

Sudden sharp pain shooting through his scalp reminded him of the fingers still threaded deeply in his hair. The position of his back and neck as he leant forward, almost parallel to the water, made things even more uncomfortable as he quickly leant into Sora’s hand to avoid another tug.

“Ah! Hah — okay, okay,” Riku grimaced.

Sora’s eyes widened as his brows shot up. “Riku, you okay?” Sora shifted back causing Riku to wince and grab at Sora’s shoulders.

“I’m going to need you to stop moving,” Riku said through gritted teeth, “You’re ripping my hair out.”

“Oh!” Sora flinched.

“Sora!”

“Sorry, sorry.” 

Sora began to pull his fingers out as gently as he could — pausing for short moments any time Riku twitched and grunted. Once free, Riku sat back up and rubbed circles against his tight, aching scalp.

“Man, this is really becoming a problem,” Riku sighed.

“Why don’t I detangle it for you?” Sora offered, squeezing Riku’s ankle reassuringly.

Riku nudged his leg up against Sora’s side, making the younger smile and drag his lip between his teeth. The flush across Sora’s face and up his neck was only just starting to fade and the fact that Riku caused it —

“As much as I would love you hurting me further,” Riku started with a smirk, “I’m sure there are other things you could do. Pleasant things.”

“Oh?” Sora wrapped his arms around Riku’s hips as he shuffled in as far as he could go. “I can’t think of any. You’ll have to give me some ideas,” he teased with a challenging glint in his eyes.

Riku’s confidence quickly shattered into nervousness. Feigning composure, he wrapped his legs around Sora’s torso, holding him firm. His heart beat rapidly as Sora’s eyelids drooped low and a pink hue dusted high across his cheek bones. His pearly teeth were back on display as he smiled impishly, and Riku felt very pleased with himself for reviving that rosy bloom.

“Why don’t I pull you up here? I’m sure we could figure something out.” Though his voice was level, Riku was internally screaming.

“I’m sure we could…” Sora drawled as he smooshed his cheek against Riku’s knee. “But first, I really do want to fix your hair.”

Sora’s hands ran along the shape of Riku’s thighs and legs as he glided on his back to put some room between them. He drew a circle in the air with his index finger, gesturing for Riku to turn around.

Riku felt disappointed and a bit embarrassed. With a wobbly smile, he silently lifted his legs from the water and spun around on his butt. Facing the back of the boat, he reprimanded himself under his breath and rolled his eyes at his terrible flirting. He could tell Sora wanted to continue… kissing him . Riku flushed. He still wasn’t used to the concept that Sora wanted him that way. And he’d blown it. The last thing Sora needed was to take care of his hair. He’d been here, alone, for so long – Riku should be the one taking care of him. Not the other way around.

“You gonna lay back or what?”

Riku looked over his shoulder to find Sora drumming his fingers against the platform with raised eyebrows. “What?”

Sora chuckled. “Lay back so you can have your hair in the water.” He rolled onto his back as if Riku didn’t know what he meant and used his hands to fluff his hair out behind him. Sora probably didn’t mean to look as knee buckling as he did, but Riku was losing his mind.

With a stiff nod, Riku shuffled in closer to the boat’s wall, quickly removed his shirt to toss it onto the deck, and lay down before he could think about Sora’s eyes boring into his bare back – though he didn’t miss the soft approving hum. Riku hissed through his teeth as his back hit the cold water, his shoulders lifting up to his ears. It wasn’t deep enough for the water to cover his entire torso but it was mildly tortuous how it sloshed up against his sensitive sides. 

Sora’s hand cradled Riku’s head gently as he submerged his hair. His scalp constricted from the cold temperature but soon relaxed as he adapted. A sense of calm washed over him as that familiar feeling of weightlessness eased the tension he had been carrying. 

Normally Riku would enjoy the relaxing white noise of the ocean when underwater, but miraculously he could hear their sound idea playing as clearly as ever – if not more so since there was no other sound to compete with it. As strange as it was, he couldn’t say he was surprised anymore. Riku was becoming used to this odd phenomenon.

Sora’s fingers delicately encouraged Riku’s hair to flow out. Slowly he spread the silver strands out to determine where the major knots began. 

“You have beautiful hair.” Sora’s voice rang through the water just as clearly as their song. Riku put it down to ‘merman things’.

“Oh yeah?” Riku asked, looking back to watch Sora tentatively work through the knotted ends. 

“Mhm,” Sora nodded, “I’ve always thought so.”

“I’ve always liked yours more.”

Sora gave him an incredulous look but just continued to detangle a more matted clump.

“...You don’t have to do this, you know?”

“Do what?”

“My hair. It’s fine – or I guess it’s not fine but like, you don’t have to bother with it.”

Sora paused his work for a moment to look more directly over Riku. His face completely filled Riku’s field of vision and he could see every detail – thick lashes glistening from the water, pale freckles that he knew could blossom across his face like constellations with the right amount of sun, and that cute dip in his top lip that begged to be sucked in between his teeth.

“I want to take care of you, Riku.”

Riku’s chest tightened and swallowed down the lump building in his throat. “Okay,” he said as nonchalantly as possible as he started to get choked up.

Sora pet his head a sound three times before resuming his work, humming their song and adding to the depth of sound that floated through the sea.

Riku didn’t predict the impact this would have on him – this simple caring. To have someone tenderly repair something he was beginning to give up on. The state he was in wasn’t his fault. He knew that. But ever since Sora’s disappearance, Riku had begun to slip back to a place he knew he couldn’t rely on. 

It was small things at first. Isolating himself from his friends, searching endlessly – never resting. Self-care wasn’t something to prioritise when your best friend (who also happened to be the love of your life) went missing.

Riku didn’t think he deserved this sort of attention.

His eyes began to sting. 

Riku let Sora go. Yes, Kairi needed to be saved – there was no question or debate about that. But why was it always Sora?

They should have gone together so Riku could protect them.

He shut his eyes tightly to stop the tears, but it only caused them to slip down his temples and dissolve into the ocean. Sora’s affection and the tenderness in his touch had become too much.

Sora’s fingers spread over his head in a claw-like grip as he began to massage firm circles into Riku’s scalp. “All done!”

Riku trembled.

“Woah – hey now,” Sora hovered over Riku’s face as he continued his massage. “Are you okay?”

“It’s just the sun – it’s bright.” Riku wiped at his eyes forgetting his hands were wet, and winced as he rubbed in salty water.

Sora glanced between Riku and the overcast sky, still as dull as ever. “Come on – you can sit up now if you want.”

Sora supported Riku’s shoulders as he sat himself back upright. His hair was slicked back off his face and streams of water ran down his back. Riku turned himself around and ran his fingers through his hair, marvelling at how easily they combed through the length.

“Thanks, Sora. This feels so much better.”

“I’m glad.” Sora seemed reserved as he watched over Riku, like he was reading the room. Like he was figuring something out.

There was an unusual silence that made the air feel heavy – like a pair of strong hands pushing Riku’s shoulders down, planting him firmly on the platform. The sky was darker and Riku noted anxiously that the sun had begun its descent. He opened his mouth to say something as Sora pulled himself up to the platform, but became distracted and hopeful as Sora shimmed backward before laying down and resting his head on Riku’s lap. Sora spread his wet hair to fall across Riku’s thigh and wriggled as he found a comfortable position. Riku couldn’t help but follow the glassy skin stretched across the platform. All the soft and hard edges, leading into the gradation of skin to ashy scales. Riku could never say he would be used to this, but he felt centered as he observed Sora – even knowing that Sora was watching him too.

Riku dragged his fingertips lightly along Sora’s body – starting at the scales and up over his stomach, feeling the slide of wet skin, how Sora’s stomach sank in shyly, little fine hairs that stood on end from his touch, and enjoying the little flinches here and there as he went higher still.

Sora’s breath hitched as Riku’s fingers reached his sternum and Riku pressed his palm flat in the centre of his chest. The rise and fall as Sora breathed against his hand, the confirmation of alive – Riku felt at peace.

Sora raised his hands to trace his fingers under Riku’s jaw before slipping them down along his chest — a reverse of Riku’s loving ministrations.

Sora’s voice dipped low, like it had been dunked in hot, melted chocolate, “I am so happy you found me. You always find me. Always save me.”

Even though Sora spoke like smoke and Riku could feel the haze coat his eyes, his mind got caught on his greatest regret.

Riku pushed his palm harder against Sora’s chest, his fingertips digging in like he was trying to grab him. “I didn’t save you in the end.”

A heavy silence floated between them as Sora studied Riku carefully, eyes flickering across his face. Sora wrapped his fingers around Riku’s wrist and tugged slightly, asking him to ease up, to which Riku instantly relaxed his hand and rubbed his thumb against Sora apologetically.

“Really — I am no better now,” Riku said with an unexpected bitter bite.

It wasn’t fair of Riku to keep Sora all to himself – like he was a secret, hidden, kept away only for him. A dark desire to have Sora all to himself was a familiar feeling but not at all practical or reasonable. It was a dream that couldn’t be reality. Riku had been without closeness for so long, and to have found Sora, to be with Sora, he was beyond overwhelmed.

“I need to take you home. Then that way, I can face everyone and myself again.”

‘ Maybe I could feel like I deserve this.’

Sora suddenly sat up, his back to Riku. “You said you’d stay.”

Panicked, Riku reached out and took hold of Sora’s shoulder. “I know. I know I said that. But Sora — this can’t last, right?”

“Why can’t it?”

“… Sora ,” Riku’s voice was low and quiet, careful. “What about your friends? What about—”

He hesitated.

“… Kairi?”

“I don’t really care, Riku. I just want to be here, with you, nothing else — no one else.” Sora’s shoulders shook as he sat staring beyond the sea to a horizon that Riku couldn’t see.

Riku’s hand flexed over Sora’s shoulder — should he let go? Did Sora want him to let go?

He let go.

“I’m sorry.”

Sora’s shoulders sank low and he turned just enough to look into Riku’s worried eyes. “It’s late. I’ll see you tomorrow, okay?”

Riku was submerged. He was sinking. Thick darkness surrounded him but it wasn’t Darkness — it felt syrupy. Reflections of gold flickered through, like molasses, like before. His strokes became more and more frantic, desperately kicking and pulling himself up and up to breach the surface. He was almost there. So close. 

Riku broke through the mold and woke up with a convulsion. It was pitch black, there were no stars. No Sora.

Just the sound of the ocean.

Chapter Text

-4 days

The trawler swayed gently side to side as it balanced atop the slow current. The night sky and the ocean mirrored a gloomy black. No light from the stars or the moon broke through the thick cloud that hung dejectedly overhead.

The creamy white interior of the trawler contrasted against the dark waters, a speck in the glassy obsidian sea. Vulnerable and alone, adrift, floating away further and further from its intended course.

Heavy feet dragged along timber boards. With each dreary step, Riku’s body sank lower and lower. His knees trembled until they eventually collapsed, his body falling into a heap on the cool wood. Riku’s face pressed against the floor as he lay on his side. It smelt earthy and warm. He breathed in through his nose slowly and deeply, with a pained expression.The salt air filled his lungs and tiny specks of sand ticked his nostrils.

Riku’s stomach twisted in pain as he was harrowingly reminded of his hunger. Fingers twitched against the floor and nails scratched against the wood weakly. He thought of the water kept in the cabin, swishing in the plastic bottle that sat in the compartment on the door of the fridge. Riku swallowed what little saliva he had stored in his dry mouth as he imagined the sensation and relief of drinking that precious liquid only a few feet away. Though it probably wouldn’t be enough to ease the dull throb in his head or the persistent nausea that sat low in his gut anyway. Riku had to tell himself it wasn’t worth the journey – his body was too heavy.

Riku switched between awake and asleep rapidly, body spasming with every moment his eyes shot open. When he would sleep, the same dream would play on a cruel loop – a dream of Sora standing waist deep in the ocean off of their Play Island. The water shone a stunning teal, so clear you could see right through it – small rocks and shells, silver fish that zipped like lightning. It dragged back off Riku’s ankles, leaving a bubbly foam in its wake as he stood on the shore, feet sinking in the golden sand.

They faced each other at a distance. Sora was framed by a glistening wall of sea green as the wave behind him built higher and higher. He appeared just as Riku remembered – beautiful and bright. He wore what he did when they were young teenagers though older in his body. Sora lifted his arms, reaching for Riku. His palms faced the sky, inviting and patient. Sapphire eyes smiled as his lips curled, mouthing something Riku couldn’t hear.

The wave loomed over Sora’s head about to break, casting a dark shadow as it blocked the sun. Sora was so small against its might. Riku took a sharp intake of breath as he tried to run into those welcoming arms – crash and tumble, escape or perish. But an anchor hidden beneath the sand had its rope shackling his hands, his ankles. He jerked and pulled but he couldn’t lift them, he couldn’t move. Riku lurched forward but the ropes held taut, stopping his fall.

Sora was unwavering as the wall of water crashed over his head, his body engulfed, devoured. The ocean pushed Riku back, rushing at his legs. His heels sunk further and further into the sand. Nothing was left behind from its momentous plunge.

Riku woke with an ambush of feelings. He was scared and angry – but mostly he felt anguished, once more lamenting his inactions. It was torture, though not unfamiliar. 

Sora was lost and Riku was doomed to live diminished, barely able to feel the cool breeze brushing his hair.

~

Riku was in no rush as the anticipated harmony of their sound idea hovered above his head, occasionally sweeping through his ears and up his nose as he took the odd deep breath whenever he felt like maybe he’d forgotten how to breathe. He expected Sora any moment as the volume steadily increased, the music pouring down his ears and nose almost frantically, threading through his body to tug and pull — testing him.

The sun shone down intensely as the star dominated brilliant blue, not a cloud in sight. The ocean lay perfectly still, blurring together with the sky as they met at the horizon.

Riku heard the splash of fins disturbing the water. Even though everything felt so difficult, he managed to smile at the thought of Sora’s beautiful face looking back at him.

“Riku are you up there?” Sora called.

“Yeah, I am. Just give me a minute.” Riku replied, his voice weak and croaky.

Groaning, he rolled over onto his hands and knees, pushing himself up to sit back on his heels. The world became so bright, Riku had to squint as he adjusted to this new perspective. Having not moved for so long, he felt a little woozy. 

“…Not happy to see me?” Sora’s voice carried over from below the back of the boat. “Look, I’m sorry about yesterday. I guess I was just really disappointed…”

“It's alright, Sora. You didn’t do anything wrong.”

There was a beat of silence while Riku worked himself to a standing position, slowly, to avoid any major head spins.

Raking his fingers through his hair, Riku was relieved to find it was still in fair condition. Sora had spent so long fixing it, he couldn’t bear the thought of backsliding before seeing him again.

“Riku?” Sora called again, his voice a little strained.

Once he got to the railing, he leant over to look for Sora down by the platform and flushed as wide blue eyes met his immediately.

Sora was already sitting up against the boat, his tail bent to his side allowing the rest of its impressive length to flow out off the platform’s edge. He hurriedly pushed his coffee coloured hair back off his face, smoothing it down and tucking it tight behind his ears. The water gathered and ran off in streams down the dip between his shoulder blades and over his traps, pooling against sharp collar bones.

“Riku… You really should take better care of yourself. Look at you.” Sora’s eyes softened as he took in Riku’s dishevelled appearance.

Feeling self-conscious, Riku broke their eye contact and ducked under the railing to settle himself next to Sora, barely registering the crisp water soaking through his shorts and underwear. 

Sora shuffled his hips a little so he could face Riku more directly. His fingers traced Riku’s hairline around his temple and unstuck strands of silver from his cheek. 

“What have you been doing…?” It was a question but Sora didn’t seem to really be expecting an answer. It was more to himself, quiet and wondering, like he was imagining all possibilities.

“I’ve just been waiting for you.” Riku replied anyway.

“Aw, really? Waiting, just for me?” Sora smiled like he had already figured out the answer, his voice syrupy and teasing.

Riku wasn’t sure what to say next and Sora seemed to know that too because he immediately started fussing over him and running his hands down and over every inch of skin he could find. It felt nice that Sora still wanted to touch him after he had hurt his feelings.

“Hey— hey,” Sora was squeezing his upper thigh. “Earth to Riku— hello?”

Riku felt like he was in a daze. Sora’s touch relaxed him so much, he’d had no idea he was talking to him. He rubbed at his eyes and blinked slowly to try and shift the film blurring his vision. Everything was smeared and hazy.

When he looked at Sora the younger boy appeared distorted, almost transparent. The outline of his body glowed golden and the light from the sun bounced off his scales rhythmically. The glare confused Riku’s sight with its hypnotic dance and triggered twinges of pain that felt like tiny sharp daggers stabbing at his brain.

“Sorry — I, uh,” Riku felt stupid, his brain was not connecting the dots for coherent thought. “Were you… saying… something?”

Neither boy spoke for what was probably only a moment but it felt like minutes as Riku’s heart beat rapidly.

Sora’s voice dropped low, laced with concern but also understanding, “You’re so tired, aren’t you?”

Sora cradled Riku’s face delicately between his palms, still cold from the ocean. His thumbs rubbed Riku’s ears reassuringly.

Riku wasn’t just tired. In his flesh, bones – right down to his heart and soul. Riku was exhausted.

He nodded in response.

“Why are you so tired, Riku?” Sora murmured as he continued massaging his fingers against a tense scalp and hot ears.

“Non-stop searching…” Riku replied softly. It came easier. It was all he had been doing ever since Sora disappeared. Even when he wasn’t physically trekking Worlds, Riku was searching for his dreams, memories, and his heart. It never ended. Riku never stopped. He couldn’t.

“What have you been searching for?”

Was Sora being disingenuous on purpose? It was becoming a little frustrating and Riku felt even more on edge. But it was impossible not to also feel seen and comforted in Sora’s hold, the comforting sound of his voice echoing around him.

“You — you know this —  I’ve been… everywhere.” Riku shook as the weight of his responsibility, his oath, finally gave way and flooded his insides. “I’m supposed to bring you home.”

Cold lips but warm breath pressed against the center of Riku’s forehead for a few seconds. Riku’s hands held firm to Sora’s forearms, grounding himself to try and recognise what was real because now, after everything, he had no idea and it hurt too much to think.

Sora’s lips moved against his skin in a wet drag, “You don’t have to keep searching anymore, Riku. I’m right here. There’s nowhere else to go.”

Riku’s hands gripped tighter to his tether of reality. His fingers dug into Sora’s soft flesh as his mind tried to keep up but it was just rusted gears barely slotting into place. Riku always preferred to be in control of his own mind, his thoughts, and his voice. But Sora – he seemed to have this way of encouraging Riku’s words to pour out unfiltered. So, maybe, Riku didn’t need to think anyway.

“For so much of my life… I have tried my best to live a certain way.” The words fell out of him slowly at first, then stronger as he eased himself into this newly unfettered state. “I wanted to be dependable and strong. I wanted…to protect the important things. My friends. My family.”

Sora continued to hold Riku as though if he stopped, his words would be lost.

“As I grew older and certain things…changed,” Riku let go of a breath he didn’t realise he was holding onto. “I wanted to protect you the most. My most precious person.” Riku smiled at Sora, a little wobbly but more from silliness than nerves. “I did some stupid things. The things I wanted, the feelings I had – they were so intense . I didn’t know how to handle it… I was mad about it – jealous of how easily he made friends. How easily he could leave me behind.” His body tensed a little as it always did when he thought about his past insecurities and the actions that had followed.

Riku huffed a small laugh, shaking it off. It was always easier to fondly recall Sora’s antics, the things that had made him fall in love with him in the first place. “He just followed his heart and I couldn’t do that so freely. I told him that once. All those things I did – I did them for him so he’d be safe and happy. Whatever else came was just a bonus.”

“You love him.” Sora concluded. He withdrew his hands to pick Riku’s fingers from his forearms so their hands could lace together and fall in a hold between them.

Riku immediately began to fidget his fingers, rubbing them and rolling them against Sora’s. “I really do.”

Sora stared down at their interlocked fingers and gave Riku a firm squeeze. “If you wanted to, would you…go back?”

“Go back?” Riku’s head lifted sharply. Sora had already made it clear that if he left it would be without him. So if he meant for Riku to go back alone…

“Yes. You have a life, friends. You could live for yourself.”

There was only a short beat before Riku answered, but it was felt nonetheless.

“I’m exhausted… I’m so tired of pretending that I don’t feel lonely.” Riku breathed out shakily, feeling how true those words were. “I’ve been so… empty, without Sora. I don’t think I even know how to live a normal life anymore. Even if you told me to leave, I don’t– I wouldn’t–” Against his words, his body trembled at the idea of it. 

“There would be no point anymore. No point of me as a person. There’s nothing left there for me,” he confessed in a hushed, anguished whisper.

“You believe he's gone. For good.” Sora had that look on his face – the one where he knew the answer but it just seemed unbelievable.

It wasn’t a question. Perhaps it wasn’t because it was just the truth and that’s all there was to it. Sora was gone. Riku couldn’t feel his connection to him anymore. It had gone dormant the moment Sora left. 

Tears gathered in the corner of Riku’s aquamarine eyes, spilling down the sides of his nose and cheeks as his face crumpled.

“Hey it’s alright, you know?” 

Riku was gathered into comforting arms and dragged up against Sora’s warm body, heated by the summer sun.

“You tried your best. I know you did. I know everything.”

Riku buried his face into the inviting crook of the merman’s neck, unsure if the salt on his lips was from tanned skin or his own tears as he cried openly for the first time in years. 

Riku couldn’t recognise his own voice as he mourned. His cry was loud, guttural, and broken.

“He’s really not coming back, is he?” Riku sobbed between desperate breaths.

The arms across his bare back tightened sympathetically. A sure hand pressed against the back of his skull, holding him firm, trying to pacify his shaking.

“I just miss him. So much. I’ll— I could never love again. Sora has it all.” Riku moaned against the warm skin, muffled and damp. His arms fell dead by his sides. “I want him to have all of it.”

“You’re so kind,” Sora’s voice whispered. He nuzzled his face into Riku’s hair before pressing a kiss there. “You’ve been so brave.”

Sora leant back and held Riku steady by his shoulders. He cocked his head, a sweet smile reaching his eyes – so wide and beautiful. Riku could see his whole life reflected in the deep sapphire pools, only ever living one way – before Sora, during Sora, and after Sora. 

“I only see you – my whole life.” Riku confessed, voice drifting like the sea breeze across sand dunes undisturbed. “Being here with you, I’ve realised that I can’t keep it down forever. I don’t want to live with this suffering. I can’t be what everyone thinks I am. How am I supposed to live… to feel without you?”

“Well… how did you feel then?” Sora asked, urging. His hands pushed Riku backward.

“I felt dark…” Riku studied the edges of Sora’s hair, starting to fizz and spring up as it dried. “Lost – in a void. An endless black sea – adrift forever.”

Sora gingerly laid Riku down, shallow water welcoming the backside of his body and tickling under his ears. His silver hair lifted and spread around his head like a halo.

“And now? What do you feel?”

“That this is real.” Riku’s voice was just only just above a whisper, still too afraid of speaking too loud and shattering this untarnished reality. “You make me so happy. I feel good with you… You’re all I want.”

Sora hovered over him, his tail sliding in-between Riku’s legs bent at the knee, spreading them to make room. The weight of it pressing into his stomach and crotch was grounding as the ocean lapped against his sides and face in its disturbance.

Riku’s breath caught in his throat as Sora crowded him. The merman looked holy as he eclipsed the sun.

Sora’s elbows came down either side of Riku’s head, trapping him in close. His mouth ghosted over Riku’s lips with hot, short breaths. Riku felt along the smooth skin and the curve of Sora’s spine – down the dip just above his tail. Solid, real. Sora smelt the same – would taste the same too.

Sora’s lips kissed his own, feather light.

He definitely made his heart beat the same.

Riku parted his lips needing more than a ghost’s touch. He needed something consuming, alleviating. The ocean sprayed as Riku raised his arms suddenly, threading his fingers urgently into the fluffy brunet hair so endearing as it stuck out chaotically.

“I want you, too,” Sora spoke into Riku’s parted mouth, hot and wet, his voice pouring down his throat like honey and coated his soul. “Stay with me.”

Riku considered this as Sora’s tongue ran along Riku’s teeth. He took his time, allowing sharp edges to drag along the muscle, saliva gathering over tastebuds. Riku’s fingers twitched and pulled at frizzed hair as he huffed against Sora’s mouth excitedly. Sora’s tongue reached the corner of his mouth and sinfully licked back over his top lip before pulling it between his teeth.

Riku arched up, lifting his back off the platform as he moaned lustfully. Fisting Sora’s hair, he pulled the merman down against him more aggressively as their mouths slotted together. Sora’s lips were soft and pliant as Riku indulged in feeling and tasting every inch of his mouth.

“You feel good, Riku?” Sora murmured between kisses.

All Riku could manage was a weak nod and a shaky exhale because yes, he felt very good. Sora’s voice flooded his submerged ears like it was the only sound on Destiny Islands. It was the only sound that mattered anyway and engulfed him in euphoria. If he stayed… could he feel this good forever?

The press of Sora’s body and the heavy weight of his tail pinned Riku back down every time his hips would lift and grind up against the merman’s tail. The cool water against his heated body made Riku shiver and tremble, especially when Sora’s tongue was massaging against his own, making his brain go stupid. Blissful feelings erased the aching emptiness.

Riku realised he had closed his eyes at some point and was horrified by every second of Sora he was not witnessing. Riku wanted to do everything at once. He wanted to kiss Sora, touch him, listen to him, talk to him, look at him. As they kissed deeply, Riku tried to figure out how to stop so he could stare at what he hoped would be a mirror of himself – completely flushed from head to toe, or well, fin he supposed.

With strength he had no idea he could still possess after being so weak from Sora’s heavenly taste, he pressed his hands to Sora’s shoulders and pushed him back. He needed space, he needed to dampen the onslaught before it swept him away to an embarrassingly quick end.

Sora whined in the back of his throat as he shifted back and Riku cursed himself as an intense wave of arousal shot south. When he opened his eyes his throat went dry – Sora was breathing shallowly, his eyes dark like the drop-off at the edge of a reef. His lips were swollen and glistening, begging to be sucked back into Riku’s mouth.

Riku’s name slipped from Sora’s lips slowly and with a neediness that had Riku short-circuiting.

“Tell me,” Sora slurred around the wetness in his tongue, holding to every drop of saliva he’d cultivated from Riku’s mouth. “Is it good?”

“So good, too good .” Riku panted, a tremor of warning in his voice. He couldn’t help wanting it though, some part of him desperate to keep feeling this pleasure. ‘Please keep going.’

“You’re gonna feel like this all the time,” Sora spoke with sincerity. The sound of his low and seductive tone combined with sweet care drove Riku nuts. “You and me – Sora. It’ll be like this, always. You’ll never be alone… you won’t feel sad anymore.”

“I want that.” The unmoored aching would be gone – he’d forever be with Sora.

“You taste so good.” Sora planted a hand firmly against Riku’s chest, lifting himself up, gazing possessively over him. “Did you know that, Riku?”

Riku’s breath quickened as Sora’s hand slid down his torso tortuously slowly. Nails dragged down until a finger caught in his belly button, stopping cruelly.

“That,” Sora leant down, his mouth dipping into the shallow water to graze his ear, “you taste so good ?”

Riku had no words, no thought. He was feeling so much, was feeling so good, that it overwhelmed everything else. His hands fell back into the water in tight fists – pushing down hard against the platform, trying to contain this powerful emotion bubbling violently to the surface. He couldn’t describe what it was – just that it was a little frightful in its intensity. Riku had never been so consumed by want and feeling so wanted.

“Hah–” Riku huffed as Sora’s hand slipped from his stomach and grabbed at his hip while he nipped at his ear.

“Tell me how good you feel.” Sora pressed, rubbing his hips and tail down against Riku’s arousal.

Riku’s heels slipped forward as he tried repositioning himself. His whole body jerked upward, his hands clenching and unclenching as he met Sora’s movements.

“I– it’s a lot…” Riku managed weakly. His hand slipped against Sora’s side, smooth and wet. He groaned deeply as Sora sucked a little painfully under his jaw. “It –  it’s good…”

Sora dragged himself away from Riku’s neck, seemingly satisfied with his work if Riku went by the whirls of lust and lingering looks from his hypnotic, sapphire eyes.

Sora kissed him soundly. Riku sighed pleasantly past soft lips, inviting Sora’s tongue in to slip against his own. Riku’s hands ran back over Sora’s waist, holding him close and flat against him, relishing in the feeling of the familiar weight and contact. Their hips slowed to a lighter friction as they deepened in their kiss, both concentrating on the heat and sounds dripping from their mouths.

Sora’s hands were so strong and confident as they pushed against him, the shape of his mouth slotting into place with his own so perfectly. His breath and his voice, so sultry as he moaned and whined against him – it all felt so nourishing; like he would never need to drink again, eat again, sleep again. Riku felt so seen, so loved, so fulfilled. 

“Riku…”

Riku was warm all over. Heat kindled in his belly as his arousal spread across his lower half. Riku couldn’t even notice the water lapping at his sides anymore. The sounds Sora made floated around his ears and he answered in kind – a sob or a sigh, Riku didn’t know, didn’t care. He was just feeling everything that was sweet and tender and he wanted more .

Kisses that contented him like a steaming cup of tea on a cold winter morning reached his soul, and Riku had never felt so adored and cared for. Enveloped in tenderness, Riku’s eyes slipped closed as he became weightless. His mind had been sent into a transcendental bliss.

The world brightened, showing Riku that he was standing in the middle of the deck. He knew his eyes were still closed, making this vision strange, but he couldn’t feel bothered by it while his whole being felt so loved and full of warmth. More curious than alarmed, Riku lifted his hand — only to have his arm float up as it moved lighter, faster, like there was no resistance. He tilted his head up and he flinched – but the surprise felt muted, far away. 

He was upside down.

The ocean looked back at him with a piercing gaze. The heavy weight of its stare was knowing but also familiar and calm. The water was dark and glistened like a galaxy, swirling with psychedelic pinks and purples, oranges and blues. It was like coral fluorescence in the great reefs that sustained all life.

A thought of ‘am I going to fall?’ flashed through his mind, an instinctual reaction that only registered as brief concern. But Riku could feel nourishing warmth and heavy hands travelling up and down his limbs outside of himself, so instead he appreciated the surreal nature of it all.

When Riku looked ‘down’, toward his feet, he could see that they weren’t connected fully to the floor, like he was standing in water that was slightly too deep. The trawler was floating on the sky, a baby blue that reminded him of fairyfloss at the fair. The clouds spread across in gentle ripples mimicking sea foam and it extended beyond Riku’s sight.

Riku’s skin was tingling pleasantly as he looked back up to the array of colours and inviting depths of the ocean. 

“Sora…” He couldn’t help but say his name, quietly, despite being alone.

As if summoned by that beloved name, sparks suddenly ignited in his heart and fluttered through every extremity. The sound idea came from all directions, filling the space between the sky and sea. It filled his heart with an echo of old longing, the same way it always did, but this time – with their melodies intertwining together in perfect harmony – it was the most beautiful rendition he’d ever heard it played.

Gravity pulled on him like a tease, egging him to push off. To float up, fall down, dive into the sea. It was a scary thing to fall. But Sora made him feel so cared for and he felt…safe. Safe and seen and more complete now than he had for months. In years, if he was being completely honest. His feelings were no longer a secret to hide, a weight he needed to carry alone; a shield fashioned to protect the keeper of his heart. Now they were returned, wanted , and Riku never wished to hide these feelings away again.

If Riku decided to stay, to accept Sora’s beautiful gift – then all he would know was what it felt like to be loved, to be desired by Sora. All of him, the ugliness and the goodness both. The parts that had failed and the parts that had given up on listening to what the rest of the universe kept trying to tell him. Somehow, despite everything he saw, Sora wanted all of him.

He knew, with complete certainty, that he could fall so easily now.

Sora’s voice echoed around him, clear and even. “Riku…? Riku I’m here. It’s okay.”

Riku closed his eyes and inhaled slowly through his nose – he felt so happy. Almost weightless. Unburdened. “I know. I love you. I’m ready.”

Riku’s heels lifted from the deck so just his toes grazed the timber slats. It felt within reach, to fall and be with Sora forever. No more heartache, no more grey. No more loneliness and pain. He would be taken into galaxies of light, of love and vibrancy. 

The faces of his friends appeared behind his closed eyes, their profiles turned aside and the shapes of their silhouettes limned in fading light. They were all so strong, destined for greater things. They weren’t going to squander the gift Sora had given each of them, and Riku was glad for them. They had their own paths to walk. And this… this was Riku’s road now. His love for Sora, how he ached for him, was insurmountable. No life carried on alone would have been enough.

“Come home to me, Riku.” Sora’s voice called, so patient – kind and full of the deepest affection. Words delivered in the way that Riku used to think he would never get to hear. The pain was finally, completely gone. All he felt was unbridled, endless joy.

Falling, Riku felt no intense adrenaline that one would expect to experience for such a dive. He moved slowly, like he was being carried gently onward – it was Sora’s hands touching his arms, his chest, his face, a hum of whispered words that blanketed him with tenderness – peaceful promises of love and happiness. 

“Sora… thank you. I’m coming home.” Riku smiled, unafraid as he was embraced by those swirling galaxies, stars trailing across his skin and through his closed eyes, burning away all his sadness and loss. Riku’s form lit up in a golden light, emitting nothing but pure love as he shattered, body and soul, and scattered across the ocean.

Chapter Text

270/7 days

It was a gorgeous day at Destiny Islands. The sun was warm and bright, the air cool from the ocean breeze, and the water was crystal clear. Silver fish zipped and zagged dangerously close to the surface, spied on by hungry sea birds eagerly awaiting the perfect moment to strike.

The Fairy Godmother strolled along the boardwalk leisurely, enjoying the weather and the passing smiling faces of the island residents, all enjoying the day and each other's company. Her lavender coloured gown rustled against her legs in the breeze and her hood rested against the back of her shoulders. Her white hair was done up in a tasteful bun and it felt nice to have the salty air liven up her aging skin.

‘What a beautiful place to grow up and spend time with friends’ she thought as she appreciated the simplicity of her surroundings.

The boardwalk was busy but not overly crowded — people were lazily fishing off the wharfs, picnics on the grass that ran parallel to the boardwalk were abundant with fruits, fish and chips, and sunbakers were soaking up the rays on the powder soft sand down by the beach.

Fairy Godmother pictured a young Sora, Kairi, and Riku running amuck, laughing and having fun. She hoped dearly in her heart that they all would be together again soon and live peacefully – to enjoy this beautiful home they shared and make new dreams together again.

She spied the Play Island in the distance and tutted quietly to herself. She had searched high and low around that small island and there was no sign of Riku anywhere. Yen Sid and Merlin had requested her assistance in the search for Sora, as Yen Sid thought perhaps the answer was in dreams — which happened to be her speciality. Riku has been in Sora’s dreams before, so of course it made perfect sense!

‘Why, if I were around I could have told them that a lot sooner!’ Fairy Godmother had thought at the time.

But beneath all of that, Yen Sid was very worried for Riku. The young man had had no luck finding Sora, and he had not been seen for a while by any of his friends.

It was a little odd. Normally Fairy Godmother appeared easily to those with strong dreams, especially when they needed an extra reminder to keep believing even when things seemed impossible. But when she arrived at Destiny Islands she appeared on the shore of the Play Island, her feet only narrowingly avoiding the water as the tide spilled up the sand. She was quite surprised that Riku was nowhere close by so she decided to have a look around, asking people if they had seen a young man that fit his description. 

Having no luck she transported herself to the main island hoping to find him, or at least someone else who would know his whereabouts.

Reaching the end of the boardwalk, Fairy Godmother noticed a harbour bustling with fishermen trading and recounting their trips. With so many people, someone ought to have seen Riku around – even if it were just in passing.

Gathering up the bottom of her robe, Fairy Godmother made her way down some old cement steps that led to the harbour, eager to talk to some folk and hoping they might be of help.

Careful not to be in anyone’s way, Fairy Godmother navigated her way through the crowd with grace, avoiding shoulders and stepping over nets and rope. She nodded politely to those who met her eyes, greeted them with warm hellos and, when appropriate, pardoned herself before asking if they had a moment to spare.

“A tall young man? Silver hair?” A fisherman, not much older than Riku it seemed, repeated as he wiped his dirty hands across his faded black pants. He sat on a milk crate, taking a load off and enjoying a soft drink as the Fairy Godmother met his gaze.

“Yes, that's right. I have been searching all over for him. I’m quite concerned. Have you seen him?” She asked politely.

“Hm. Can’t say I have, I'm afraid.” The man responded as he looked past her side as though double checking. “Does he come here often? I’ll keep an eye out. Sorry I can’t help ya more than that.”

“Oh thank you, I would appreciate that greatly. No, I can’t say for certain he is here in this particular place often, however he lives here and spends time on that smaller island over there.” She replied with an index finger pointing to the Play Island.

“Oi! I think I know who ya searchin’ for there, miss!” An older, worn voice called out.

Fairy Godmother’s eyes lit up. “Oh! Well— Thank you sir, I do appreciate your ear but do pardon me, I best see what this other gentleman has to say!” She exclaimed, unable to hide her hopeful smile for good news.

The fishermen laughed and waved his hand gesturing for her to get going. “No worries and not a problem. Hope you find him.”

A much older man with aged tanned skin met Fairy Godmother half way and guided her away from the hustle and bustle.

“Much too busy ‘ere today, miss. Don’t want ‘cha gettin’ knocked off into the water, do we?”

Fairy Godmother laughed lightly, grateful for the consideration of the older man and was gladly led to a quieter spot on the jetty. 

“Right. So ya say you are lookin’ for a young fella?” He began, a little conspiratorial, eyes darting this way and that. “Now, I didn’t mean to eavesdrop on you, miss. But you caught my attention ‘cause I think I know who ya lookin’ for.”

Fairy Godmother’s eyes sparkled with interest and she clasped her hands together in front of her chest in both relief and anticipation. “Oh my, I hope you do! We have been quite worried about him, you see. Haven’t heard a word for a week or so. Riku— Riku is his name.”

“Tall boy? Silver hair, yeah?”

“Yes, Yes,” the Fairy Godmother nodded. “Quite fair, too. Quite fair.”

“Yes... he was a pale one…” the old fisherman murmured, folding his arms close to his chest. “He bought my old boat off me.”

“Oh?” she exclaimed curiously. “And when did he do that?”

“Hmph. Not quite two weeks ago.” The fisherman hesitated for a moment, chewing his bottom lip while his eyebrows furrowed low. “Look… he, ah, he said he would be goin’ out. Out to the outer islands, ya see.”

Fairy Godmother didn’t consider the possibility of many more islands than the ones she could plainly see. Her face scrunched up as she considered how she could possibly locate him now. Oh how curiously frustrating indeed! Why hadn’t she just simply appeared to where Riku was? Perhaps he wouldn’t be too long?

The old fisherman’s voice cut through her runway thoughts. “I’m sorry to say… but er, I don’t think your young friend is comin’ back.”

“I beg your pardon?” Fairy Godmother raised her eyebrows in surprise. “And why would that be?” 

“People don’t tend to come back once they go that way. There’s stories — legends.”

“Oh, hm, I can’t say I am familiar with these stories. Would you mind?” She gestured for him to continue with the swish of her hand.

The old man huffed a bit and rolled his shoulder back with a slight turn of his head as though referring to the other people behind them. “Many people ‘ere don’t want to acknowledge the odd things that seem to happen when people go out that way. So it doesn’t venture further than the utterings here. I’ll tell you, but I can’t be certain your friend is or isn’t caught up in it.”

Fairy Godmother hummed curiously, glancing over to study the variety of people fussing about, busy either getting ready to head out on the water or unloading from their latest outing. She didn’t expect the folk of Destiny Islands to be a superstitious lot. Or, perhaps, they were more discerning of such things. Either way, what this gentleman shared may just be the key to finding Riku at last.

The old fisherman hesitated, seeming very sorry before he even began. “I can’t tell you why, but it seems that people are drawn that way. Instinctively.” He closed his eyes, arms crossed tightly across his chest as he recalled the tale. “A long time ago, the outer islands were frequently sailed to. A lot of fish out that way, you see. Then, one day, someone went alone and never came back. It kept happin’. They would feel some kind of need to go, alone, and then never seen again. After a while, it was deemed unsafe to travel there. But occasionally, people will still go. They are… sad people. Lost or grieving.”

‘Lost or grieving.’ That gave the Fairy Godmother pause. Sora had been gone a good nine months now. A long time for sure. And of course, that would have impacted Riku greatly — best friends as they were. Childhood best friends. They had a close and special bond. The Fairy Godmother respected Riku’s tenacity and his belief in Sora. He had gone through this before — longer in fact. Her stomach dropped. Had they not been supportive enough of Riku’s feelings? It was easy to believe that Riku would do what he had always done… carry on, do whatever it takes, and not give up. That he would keep believing in Sora.

“I believe there are ghosts out there, miss. Beings that appear to those sorts of people. Ghosts of loved ones who have passed. I’m convinced you see. An old mate of mine… he left too but he came back.”

“He came back?” Her heart fluttered.

“Yes… but just to see us again, give us his entire catch. He told us that he met his missus out there… She was waiting for him. She had died… two years prior. He left again and that was it.”

“Curious…” Fairy Godmother murmured to herself. Sora was gone, but was he dead?

The old fisherman hung his head low and solemnly turned it side to side. “I’m sorry but if it is true, well, I’m afraid ya boy is lost.”

Her eyebrows shot up in alarm and she quickly patted around her robe searching for her wand.

“Lost? Why— Why that’s not right. You, you don’t mean—“ She felt a new sense of urgency twist in her gut and tingle up her arms and legs. “Well, now, what— that was a sad tale indeed. Interesting, interesting.”

She huffed and groaned in annoyance having no luck locating her wand in her gown, under her sleeves. “Though I’m sure he’s fine. Riku— Riku is a strong, tough, young man. A strong heart.”

“Again… I don’t mean to assume.” The fisherman sorrowfully added, awkwardly lifting his hand but retreating it quickly.

“I appreciate all your help, I do. Thank-you.” Fairy Godmother nodded her head and smiled though it was strained. “I must be off now.”

“Of course.” The fisherman’s voice drifted in reply.

Then with another firm, quick nod. The Fairy Godmother gathered the bottom of the gown into her hands and scurried off as fast as she could manage while avoiding people and all the various things scattered across the jetty.

Her mind honed in, focusing on the absolute necessity of transporting exactly where Riku was. Yes, she tried that. Technically. Though, she had done it like it had always been done. Fairy Godmother would admit freely that she didn’t put much actual effort into her initial arrival, relying on habit and expectations.

If something had happened to Riku out there, it made horrible sense as to why she didn’t appear before him or why no one had heard from him.

Needing somewhere more secluded so she could use her magic freely without disrupting World Order, Fairy Godmother kept an eye out as she walked at a fast pace back along the boardwalk. 

A large mound of sand came into view that blocked a slope that led down and toward an empty area of the beach. It would provide enough obstruction for her to gather herself, summon her wand and disappear. Kicking off her simple, blue flat shoes, she picked them up, vanished them up her sleeve and made her way down the soft sand.

After a deep breath to compose herself and her racing heart, Fairy Godmother checked over her shoulder, her left and right, and sheltered her eyes with her hand to see if anyone was down along the shoreline. The coast was clear. She plucked her wand from the sky like she was reaching for a mug in the cupboard. It was long, slender, and white. It glittered and sparkled radiantly in the sunlight as she gave it a confident swish to get herself back in the groove. She had forgotten she had put the darn thing away during her panic induced search earlier.

Settling herself down on the sand, Fairy Godmother crossed her legs and wiggled her butt to get comfortable. She closed her eyes and focused on the sun warming the top of her head as well as the gentle sea breeze blowing the loose strands of hair against her face. It was essential now to feel present and focused.

“Riku, my child… where are you?” Spoken with a whisper, the wind carried her words across the sand. “Are you still dreaming, Riku? Do you still believe?” Fairy Godmother asked earnestly, trying with all her might to feel a tug, anything, to lead her to Riku’s location.

Just as her shoulders began to sag, she felt something — a spark. It was tiny, barely noticeable, but she felt it nevertheless. And with the flick of her wand, she vanished.

The Fairy Godmother appeared on a boat of sorts. It wasn’t that big, though it had a small deck and cabin. Was this the boat Riku had bought from that fisherman she’d spoken to? She tentatively walked toward the cabin, glancing this way and that, just in case someone was hiding away somewhere she couldn’t see. 

There was nothing particularly unusual. The ocean was calm, the breeze was still lovely, just— there was nothing around for as far as she could see. Just blue in every direction.

“Riku?” She called. “Riku, my dear. Are you here?”

The cabin door was ajar, so she nudged it open slowly with her bare foot and assessed the inside carefully as more was revealed. No one was there, so she passed through the threshold. Someone had clearly been here at some stage — an unmade bed, clothing on the floor, and bits of rubbish across a benchtop. Fairy Godmother couldn’t quite tell if they were Riku’s clothes, being not that familiar with the boy’s style of dress these days. 

She had been trying to ignore the sick feeling building in her stomach as soon as she stepped inside, maintaining some faith, but it was impossible to dismiss now. Riku was not here.

She sat with a defeated ‘thump’ on the bed but suddenly straightened up as the faint spark she felt earlier shot up her spine. 

“Oh my… oh no.” She spoke with quiet horror, hands covering her mouth. The Fairy Godmother knew now. This was Riku’s boat. 

Was Riku’s boat…

Jumping to her feet she rushed out the cabin, onto the deck, and looked around frantically. She raced along the railings, peering down the sides of the boat, into the water. She noticed a swimming platform but it was empty too.

“I need to contact Master Yen Sid and King Mickey right away.” She declared.

The Fairy Godmother vanished.

The trawler floated on, adrift at sea, sunlight sparkling off the gently undulating water. There was no song, no melody breaking through the creak of the abandoned boat as it bobbed atop the waves.