Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Amadeus has never been made so aware that he is so small until this moment. Yes, he isn't given any patients that he had to physically lift for that reason (and because he is just barely 18) but now he realizes just how small he is. Bruce is 4 inches taller than him and has easily 50 pounds on him. Bruce has eaten more than a bowl of shitty ramen and one chicken tender of a six-tender meal from Raising Cane's in the past two days. He knows that Bruce has a history of violence towards his other caregivers, but the agency swore up and down that they were abusive and Bruce was just misunderstood. And until now, Bruce never so much as raised his voice at him in the 3 months Amadeus has been assigned to him.

Amadeus should have sensed that something was up when he came in and Bruce was acting off. He should have known somehow that Bruce's short temper this morning wasn't going to end well. But Amadeus likes Bruce, and he doesn't think he would ever hurt him. So when he goes careening over the toilet, his side hits the edge of the tub, his head hits the bottom of the tub, and he can physically feel his brain rattle around in his head, he doesn't see it coming.

Then everything is dark and he wakes up maybe a minute later and Bruce is gone and he's terrified. He pulls himself onto his feet, and despite his pounding headache, he tries to walk. Light hurts his eyes so he squeezes them almost shut, stumbling out of the bathroom. I need to hide , Amadeus thinks, I’ve got to get away.

Amadeus is on the other end of the hall when he hears Bruce return to the bathroom and start slamming things. His heart beats faster when he realizes he's looking for him. He looks for somewhere to hide. The kitchen has a back door. He can get out that way. He hits his hip on a side table and almost crumples in pain.

He hears Bruce going through the rooms behind him. He can't make it to the back door in time, and if he gets outside, Bruce will be able to catch him before he can get help. He can't drive his scooter in this condition… Bruce is one room away.

Amadeus clambers into a bottom cabinet because he's so small. His heart is beating so loudly that his ears ring with it. He can feel his heartbeat all the way to his toes. He curls up, his ribs screaming in protest. Don't look here, don't look in here , he prays desperately.

The kitchen door opens. Bruce grumbles, saying things that don't make any sense. He opens cabinet doors and slams them shut, looking for something. He's looking for me… Amadeus thinks, his stomach turning.

Amadeus remembers his phone and pulls it out of his pocket. He tries calling Rick, and he doesn't answer. He texts the chain of command of the agency asking for someone to come and get him, and tries calling Rick again and again, and then calling everyone else he can think to call. Everyone but the police. Everyone but an ambulance. Finally, Scott answers, and Amadeus sobs into the phone, not making sense, and Scott tells him he'll get someone there. Amadeus still hears Bruce slamming cabinets, and he thinks he's at the one he's in just when he hears a car pull up.

The door opens, and Amadeus hears Scott's voice. He's calm and collected, but Amadeus can't understand what he's saying. Scott and Bruce leave the kitchen, and they talk for a little bit, and Amadeus thinks that he's going to throw up.

“I'm going to go get you some ice water,” Scott says, loudly, “Stay right here.”

Footsteps. Just one set.

“Amadeus,” Scott whispers.

Amadeus pushes the cabinet door open and crawls out. Scott's eyes widen, and he opens and closes his mouth. He grabs a glass of ice water and brings it to Bruce, and Amadeus watches him, sick to his stomach.

Scott comes back in, and he gently helps Amadeus to his feet.

“Let me drive you to the hospital,” Scott says.

Amadeus throws up on the way to Scott's car and almost throws up on the way to the hospital. He can't explain what happened to the doctors and nurses, but he wakes up in a hospital bed a few hours later on a morphine drip. He hears a couple of nurses outside wonder loudly if it was domestic abuse because his story doesn’t make sense. Amadeus looks down at his hands as shame eats away at his stomach. If he were just bigger, he could have protected himself.

Scott comes by an hour later with Maddy. She sits on the chair next to the bed, silent with tears welling up in her eyes. Scott gives him his phone.

“You dropped this in my car,” he says.

Amadeus has a missed call from Rick and a few texts.

“ Bruce told me what happened

Are you okay?

What hospital are you at?

Do you need someone to watch Maddy?”

He has a text from Jimmy. “ When did the doctor say you can come back to work? ”

Amadeus stares at the text for what feels like hours. He just got the shit beat out of him. He has a black eye, a knot on the back of his head, he can't breathe without hurting… Jimmy wants him back at work.

“They want me to stay for observation.” Amadeus texts back finally. That seems like a perfectly neutral response.

“Will you be back in a week?”

Amadeus frowns. “I don’t think so. I have 3 broken ribs.”

“What did you do to make him freak out like that?”

Did I do? Amadeus thinks angrily. Bruce threw him into the bathtub, and Jimmy is blaming him… Amadeus stares at the text and closes his eyes for a moment. Tears well up, but he pushes them away. Maddy stares at him when she sees his telltale signs of being on the brink of tears.

“I can get a part-time job,” she says.

Amadeus whips to look at her so quickly that he hurts his ribs. He grabs them and winces. “No, I’ll figure it out,” he says.

“I can help,” Maddy insists.

“You’re just a kid,” Amadeus says.

“I’m the same age as you as when Umma and Appa died!” Maddy exclaims.

Amadeus rubs his eyes. He is so fucking tired. “Let's discuss this after I'm out of the hospital,” he says, “Not when I'm on a morphine drip. I need you to stay at Rick's until I'm out.”

Maddy makes a face. “Ugh, I hate staying with Marv,” she says.

“I thought you liked him,” Amadeus says. His eyes are so heavy.

“I do,” Maddy says. She shrugs before continuing and looks down at her hands. She seems almost ashamed when she says, “It's just depressing over there.”

Amadeus hands her his phone. “Can you tell Rick which hospital we’re at? And tell him that, yeah, I’d like for you to stay with him,” he says.

“Fine.” Maddy takes the phone and starts typing just as Amadeus passes out again.

Maddy wakes him up when Rick comes in. Amadeus groans and tries to stretch, but winces at the pain in his side and frankly, the rest of his body.

“Dude, you look fucked up,” Rick says.

“I feel worse,” Amadeus says.

Rick sits on the side of the bed and brushes Amadeus’s hair out of his face. “Man, I never thought he’d do something like this,” he says.

Amadeus bats his hand away. “He was having an episode. I should have been more careful,” he says.

Rick shakes his head, thinking about how he said similar things back when he was taking care of Bruce. “Do you need anything?” he asks.

Amadeus shakes his head. “No, just for you to watch Maddy until I’m out of the hospital then I’ll-”

“You’re not going home on your own after they release you,” Rick says, not giving him any room to argue.

“It’s fine I can-”

“No, you’re staying at Marv’s until you’re totally healed,” Rick says.

“I’m fine! It’s just a few broken ribs,” Amadeus says.

“Three,” Maddy chimes in.

“Just until you’re back to work,” Rick says, “Marv would insist too. I’m just beating him to it.”

“I don’t want to put you out,” Amadeus says.

“You know Marv. He loves having people over,” Rick says, “and I don’t mind sleeping on the couch.”

“I can sleep on the couch,” Amadeus says lamely, but the look Rick gives him says fat chance.

Chapter Text

After a night of observation, Rick drives Amadeus to Marv's house. Amadeus's scooter is already there, but Amadeus is too tired and achy to ask how it got there. The morphine is finally wearing off, and while they gave him prescription pain pills, he doesn’t want to take them, so he falls asleep in Rick's bed, too tired to even try to argue with anyone. The next couple of days pass the same way. Amadeus gets up (painfully), eats the tiniest bit (painfully), takes a nap (painfully), wakes up (painfully), eats (painfully), takes another nap (painfully), wakes up (painfully), eats (painfully), and goes back to sleep (painfully).

Jimmy texts him every day asking when he is coming back in so they can talk about what happened, and Amadeus keeps telling him he's in too much pain to come in because he can barely walk. Amadeus files his workers’ compensation claim, and a couple of days later, Jimmy calls him.

“You filed for workers’ comp?” he asks.

“Yeah, I was hurt on the job,” Amadeus says.

“Yes, but-”

“I broke three ribs,” Amadeus interjects.

“How could you have been hurt that badly? What even happened? You or Scott never made an incident report!” Jimmy exclaims.

“I had to go to the hospital!” Amadeus exclaims. He winces in pain.

Rick pops his head in the room to make sure Amadeus is okay. When he sees that Amadeus is red with anger, he sits down on the bed next to him to listen in.

“What did you do to make him hit you?”

“I don’t know what happened. I can’t remember because Bruce gave me a concussion!”

Rick holds his hand out for the phone. Amadeus doesn’t give it to him willingly. Rick yanks it from his weak hands. Amadeus is shaking, probably with anger, but hot tears are rolling down his face. He reaches up to wipe them away.

“Leave Amadeus the fuck alone. He’s had a rough enough time getting beat up by Bruce. He doesn’t need to be chewed out by some stupid fucking pencil pusher!” Rick shouts, “You knew Bruce had a history of aggression and you made the tiniest fucking guy take care of him, and then get mad when he gets hurt!” Ricks walks out of the room, still yelling into the phone, and Maddy comes into the room and hugs him, laying her head on his chest.

Amadeus winces and Maddy jerks away. She has tears in her eyes, and Amadeus can only dumbly wonder why she’s crying. “You need to quit that job,” she says.

“I think Rick’s quitting for me,” Amadeus says. He can still hear Rick chewing Jimmy out over the phone. “I think I might need a lawyer.”

Something about this strikes Maddy as funny, and she laughs as she wipes her eyes.

Amadeus gets comfortable in one of Marv’s easy chairs. He almost dozes off when his phone rings. He picks up and smiles when he sees the caller ID.

“Hi, Venus,” Amadeus says.

“Amadeus, when are you coming back?” Venus asks in her lovely sing-song voice.

Amadeus’s chest hurts for a moment when he realizes that he has to be the one to give her the bad news. “I actually quit,” he says, “I’m taking a few weeks off to heal, and then I’m starting at another care service.”

“Oh,” Venus says, disappointed, “Can you still take care of me? My new aide isn’t as good as you.”

“I'm switching to Marvel Home Health if you want to switch there, or I can do private care. Talk to Aquaria about it,” Amadeus says.

“Okay,” Venus says brightly, “I hope you're feeling better. When Jimmy said you were in an accident, I was so upset. What happened?”

Amadeus sighs. “Fell in a tub. I broke three ribs,” he says.

“Send Maddy by here and I'll give you some of the cookies I made,” Venus says, “Aquaria can't have them on account of her diabetes, and I can't eat all I've made.”

“Thanks, Venus,” Amadeus says.

“Never you mind. Just make sure you heal up, and I'll feed you goodies until then,” she says, “You know how much I love you.”

Amadeus tears up, and he hopes that she can't hear it over the phone. “Love you, Venus. I'll visit you as soon as I can, and I'll call Aquaria tomorrow.”

“Good boy. Get some rest, darling. You have healing to do,” Venus says.

Amadeus says goodbye again and hangs up. He wipes stray tears from his eyes just as Rick comes into the living room.

“Are you okay?” Rick asks.

“Yeah, just Venus,” he replies, “I didn't really think about her when I quit, but she asked if I could take care of her still. I told her which new service I was going to, and even offered private care. I forget why I do this stuff sometimes.”

Rick ruffles his hair, and Amadeus swats his hand away. “You’re getting sappy,” he says.

“Fuck off.”

“I’m taking Marv to his Oncologist,” Rick says, “Hold down the fort.”

Amadeus gives him a thumbs-up. Marv walks out of his room slowly, holding onto the wall as he goes. He has to take a break to catch his breath before he can even get to the front door.

“You good, Marv?” Amadeus asks.

Marv smiles at him. “Just tired,” he says,  “You better not be worrying about me, not when you’re healing up yourself.”

“I can multitask. I’m pretty good at it,” Amadeus says.

Marv laughs, but dismisses his concern. He walks out the door with Rick holding him at the elbow to stabilize him.

Amadeus sits at the table flipping through Marv’s newspaper after him. He’s not really sure what he’s looking for. He never did understand reading the newspaper as opposed to just using a news app, but it gives him something to do. And it gives him an excuse to sit in the kitchen with Marv.

Marv hands Amadeus the next page he just finished. It’s the obituaries. Amadeus takes a sip of his milk and scans the names. His eyes stop on Earl Everett. His stomach sinks as he looks at the inch-wide picture of a man he took care of for two years.

“Earl died,” Amadeus says.

Marv sets his paper down. “Who? One of your clients?”

“Yeah,” Amadeus says, rubbing his eyes for a moment. He almost wishes that tears were itching at the corner of his eyes, but all he can feel is this empty feeling in the pit of his stomach. He should have been there…

“How old was he?” Marv asks.

“Born in ‘29 so 96,” Amadeus says, “It’s just… He wasn’t dying when I left. He was still going out to dance at the senior center. What could have happened for him to-”

“Don’t go down that path,” Marv reprimands him, “You know how Rick gets about Steve. Sometimes people die even when they’re healthy and dancing the day before. You can’t let those thoughts in.”

“I just… Did he just not handle the change well?” Amadeus asks.

“He was 96 years old. He had a long, happy life. You should be grateful he’s gone on to his reward,” Marv says.

Amadeus sighs. He looks at the obituary. It’s clinical. Earl didn’t have kids. He never got married. It doesn’t mention that he was a good dancer. It doesn’t mention his overflowing garden or the way he could predict the weather or the way he would answer Amadeus’s questions before he asked them. Just vaguely mentioned that he served in World War II, that he got shot in the head as a young man. It never offers a glimpse into his life or who he was or what he actually did with his life.

Amadeus goes on his obituary online and plants a tree in his honor. He thinks about leaving a comment, but sees the hundreds of comments talking about Earl.

“My father served with Earl in World War II. He was Uncle Earl to me growing up. Wonderful man. Introduced me to my wife.”

“Helped me when things got tight in my last year of medical school. Never forget him. He could always tell what I was thinking.”

“Earl was my dance partner at the senior center. He will be missed by all of us.”

Amadeus leans to look at Marv. “Not to be morbid, but if I died… Who do you think would leave comments on my obituary?” he asks.

“Well, me and Rick. All your clients…”

“If I died in that bathtub…” Amadeus says. He starts again. “What if I got a brain bleed or… Bled out… or something?”

“Maddy would have gotten a hell of a settlement,” Marv comments.

Amadeus wonders if he should have died in that tub.

Amadeus is almost falling asleep as they watch some dumb movie. Marv’s in the middle of the couch between Maddy and Rick. Maddy’s leaned on Marv’s shoulder, snoring quietly. Marv pets her hair for a moment, before turning to Rick.

“I don’t think I want to do Chemo anymore,” Marv says, like it was a perfectly normal thing to say and not the biggest decision he could possibly make.

Rick jerks to look at him, knocking the bowl of popcorn out of his lap. Amadeus doesn’t think he’s ever been more awake.

“What did you just say?!” Rick hisses. It wasn’t quite yelling yet, but it was on the brink of it. Maddy mumbles a sleepy little groan and screws her face up as if she’s going to wake up.

Marv shushes Rick and points to Maddy.

“Other room,” Rick says between his teeth as he rises.

“We’re watching a movie,” Marv says.

“You just said you wanted to stop Chemo,” Amadeus says, “You can’t just drop that bomb and expect us not to flip shit.”

“I just don’t want to anymore. I’m tired. It’s not helping. I’d rather die comfortable and at home,” Marv says.

“How can you make this kind of decision without talking to me first?” Rick asks, and he sounds betrayed because he is. He has to watch another person he loves die, and he’s going to find his dead body just like he did with Steve.

“I’mm talking to you right now,” Marv says, “I’ve thought about it a lot. I’d like to go on Hospice while I can still make my decisions. I’d also like to contact my kids.”

Amadeus’s brows furrow, and he looks at Rick because, as far as he knows, Marv doesn’t have any kids, but Rick crosses his arms. “This is a selfish thing to do,” Rick says, “Meeting your kids just before you die.”

Marv sighs. “Am I not allowed to be a little selfish while I'm dying?”

“You're not dying. You are-”

Marv laughs a little, which is unnerving. Amadeus’s skin crawls. “Rick, I know when I’m dying, and I’d rather die than feel like this forever.”

Maddy whimpers, and Amadeus sits up to see if she’s waking up. His ribs ache, but right now, all he can think of is how he needs Maddy to still be asleep for this conversation. She is, and he breathes a sigh of relief.

“I’m tired,” Marv says. He wipes his eyes. “I’ve never been more tired in my life. I just don’t think I can live like this for much longer.”

Rick’s eyes are bloodshot with tears that he can’t let fall. He leans his head on Marv’s shoulder and lets out something between a sob and a groan. Marv pets his hair, gently.

“It’s going to be okay,” Marv says. Amadeus wonders how that can be true.