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"I'm totally gonna jump! Do you hear me? You all might think I'm kidding, but I'm not! I'm really going to! I'm so serious about this! Grr!"
Copia loudly and angrily threatened for the 50th time, directing his glare at the people below him.
There he was, standing on the ministry's rooftop while his twin brother, Mr. and Mrs. Psaltarian, and the newest employee for the Clergy, Judith, were all looking up at him.
The former and best (in his eyes of course) Papa was just sick and tired of being sick and tired.
It's bad enough that his mother, who had also been his boss for quite some time, passed away, but now he's in charge.
He's Frater Imperator.
And as a result, he's got a lot on his plate.
He is obligated to ensure the ministry runs smoothly, which means he is not able to ride his trike or play video games as often as he used to.
Frater focused his frustration mainly on the latest and worst, (again, in his eyes of course) Papa.
V... V... How Copia despised that letter so much now.
'The guy should have his name changed to L for loser since that's exactly what he is,' he huffed in his head, raising a hand to his forehead and giving V the loser sign.
He then blew a raspberry at his brother, who merely frowned at the older twin's (older by 10 seconds) immaturity before rolling his eyes.
'Only a complete and utter loser would dare to steal someone's moves and fashion sense,' Frater grumbled in his mind.
'As well as attempt to nab their pet rats when they aren't looking to do... Satan knows what with them.'
Perhaps after jumping and going to Hell, Copia could lower his rising blood pressure with an infinite amount of juice boxes.
"Oh, please, my little Cardi," a worried Marika pleaded to Copia in a motherly tone.
She didn't wish for him to injure himself.
If only she could shrink him and put him in a jar.
That way, he would pose less of a threat to himself.
"Please reconsider your decision. Let's discuss this so that things can return to normal," she offered.
"Normal?" Copia experienced a heightened level of frustration at that word. "Nothing normal ever happens around here!"
His outburst leads to him whining out, "And no one understands how I feel!"
Mr. Psalty, unamused by Copia's behavior, simply let out a small sigh, shaking his head.
He then pinched the bridge of his nose.
'Where did I go wrong with him?' he contemplated to himself before imitating what he believed Copia sounded like.
'Oh, I'm gonna jump. I swear I am. I'm gonna do this, that, and the third.'
After his internal groan, he resumed speaking like himself.
'With how dramatic he's being, I should put a stamp on his head and mail him to Hollywood.'
"I'm going to jump!" Copia shouts.
"Oh, yeah?" Perpetua retrieved a small, purple megaphone with a black 'V' labeled on it from behind his back.
Leveling the loudspeaker to his lips, he directs it up at Copia and presses the power button.
"Do a flip!"
"... What?" Copia questioned his brother's request with confusion and annoyance.
Disbelief was evident on Judith's expression as she slowly glanced at V.
'This guy...,' she thought to herself. 'Can't be serious...'
"You heard me! If you're going to jump, then do a flip! It'll be really cool and hella badass!"
"What?! No way! I'm not doing that! Can't you see that I'm trying to commit?"
"You're trying to..." Perpetua paused, his eyes shifting to black dots as a gag.
He blinked a few times, purple question marks drifting from his person. "... Commit?"
A large, cloud-like bubble materializes above V's head, with him visualizing his brother in his Papa cassock and makeup.
In the thought, Papa Emeritus IV is on a brightly lit stage and has just finished performing a song as a crowd of fans cheer and scream.
While holding the rockstar pose that he's in, he's summarily tackled to the floor by a swarm of goth, emo, and scene girl hotties who smother him with kisses, leaving lipstick stains all over his face.
In a matter of seconds, he and the women who smothered him are getting married in the ministry.
When the thought ends, the bubble disappears and Perpetua's eyes return to their normal state.
"You're... getting married to... a couple of baddies?"
"Married?! No! I'm trying to commit!"
"... Commit to what?"
"What?!"
"What?"
Copia groaned, his brother getting on his last nerve.
"You know what?" The former Papa pinched the bridge of his nose as he sighed. "Maybe I just won't go through with this."
Marika exhales a relieved sigh as she wipes her brow with her hand.
"Coward!" V shouts into his megaphone. "Of course you would chicken out of doing a flip."
His next words are delivered with a smirk on his lips. "What? Afraid you'll break a hip, old man?"
"Old man?!" Even though he was the same age as his brother, being called old by him filled Copia with an inexplicable rage.
Steam pours out of his ears as the sound of a steam train whistle blowing plays as a gag.
Copia roars out, "I could so do a badass flip off of here if I wanted to!"
"Then let's fucking see it, gramps!" V egged on.
"Fine!" Copia backs away from the edge, creating enough room for himself to run towards it.
After drawing in and exhaling two steady breaths, a fiery determination lit up in his pupils as he gazed forward.
Copia was going to do this.
He would not only perform a spectacular midair flip but also land gracefully on his feet, proving his foolish brother wrong.
Sprinting across the rooftop, Copia leaps from the edge with his arms extended, like a bird taking flight.
For a moment, he felt weightless... that is until gravity claimed him as he plummeted downwards in slow motion, his body spinning uncontrollably.
As Frater shrieks out a battle cry while flailing his limbs about uselessly in the air, the song "Bring Me To Life" starts playing as a gag.
Frozen inside, without your touch
Without your love, darling
Only--
The music stops as soon as Frater hits the solid ground with a loud "THUD", creating a giant hole that he descends into.
... A second loud "THUD" is heard.
Perpetua, Mr. and Mrs. Psaltarian, and Judith were all silent and frozen, the four all staring wide-eyed in total shock at the giant man-made hole that was now present on the ground.
"Woah..." The single word escaped Perpetua as he stood there, blinking his eyes repeatedly.
"That... was so..."
His eyes suddenly lit up with gothic fireworks as a gag, macabre imagery exploding and sparkling in his pupils.
"BADASS!!!" Papa V shined his toothiest of grins, clenching his fists excitedly.
A weak, prolonged moan echoed from the depths of the hole, followed by whining.
"Ow... I'm in pain, hold the onions. I... I think I can see Hell from here... Wait... wait... shit! Oh, shit! My tooth! Satan, my front tooth! Mamma mia! Mamma freaking mia! It's missing! What a fiasco! What a disaster! Quick, someone come down here and help glue it back inside my mouth! I don't want to look like a hockeista!!"
In Copia's eyes, that was a fate worse than death.
Perpetua's chipper demeanor remained as he gazed at Mr. And Mrs. Psaltarian and Judith.
"Did any of you manage to catch that fall on camera?" he asked them with a genuinely sweet and adorable smile.
They're... at a loss for words.
Down they go collapsing to the ground.