Chapter Text
He opens his eyes to meet that ghostly piercing gaze. He feels it on him, like fingers holding him by his neck.
Ivan’s eyes looking at him as he stands across his room. Till rubs his neck, trying to remove the pressure he constantly remembers, too clearly. He didn’t want to see his face but no matter how hard he tried, his face would never go away. So he ignored him, he wasn’t real after all.
Till pulls himself up to grab his sketchbook. He had been using it for the past few months as a way to calm himself. Plus It was a much better activity than staring at his hallucinations in fear.
Next time he looks up Ivan was right in front of him. If this had happened a few months ago he would have flinched but he just starred in his eyes.
“Watcha drawing?” He grinned at him. It was unsettling at the least.
Till ignored him again.
Ivan frowned. “Why aren’t you responding.” Silence.
He looked over and onto the paper. A drawing of Ivan eerily standing over his bed. Ivan looked up at Till meeting his graze.
Tills heart throb under Ivan’s gaze. “Why are you drawing me like a demon? And now of all times.” His voice was disgusted like he was talking to the worst person he knows.
He goes closer until he’s inches from tills face. “You don’t even feel that bad do you?” His voice was a whisper that somehow ringed in Till’s ears.
“You think you can escape? You only make everything worse by drawing me.” He puts on a smug smile “Over and over”.
Till grips his sketchbook. “Be quite. You’re not here. You’re not alive.”
“You’re right, I’m not alive. I died because of you.” He brings his hands up to Tills neck, putting a slight pressure on it. “And you just get live on.”
Till drops his sketchbook and scratches his neck trying to release the pressure. He stares into Ivan’s eyes before shutting his eyes.
When he opens his eyes Ivan is back to the other side of the room. A few tears escape his eyes. “You hate me..” he mutters to himself “I know you do.”
He reaches for his sketchbook that had fallen to the ground. Only to find it open to a page he drawn a few months ago. Him and Ivan back in Anakt garden holding flowers and smiling.
He frowns. That wasn’t the truth Ivan hated him they would never do that. He rips the page out crumbling it up and throwing it in the trash.
Silence. He takes a breath trying to calm himself.
After a moment Isaac entered Tills room, with a tray of food. “Till, you awake?” He smiles slightly seeing Till sitting up already.
Till eyes the man standing across the room before turning his attention to Isaac.
“Im up” he mutters barely making a sound. Isaac steps inside, putting the tray on the table beside tills bed.
“You don’t need to push yourself to talk. You’re throat is already damaged and you’re only making it worse by scratching it.” Isaac states as he examined Till’s throat.
“You need to be more careful. I know you were supposed to come with us today for our expedition but i don’t know if youre ready-” Isaac’s explanation was quickly dismissed by Till shaking his head.
He quickly pulled out his notebook and wrote “Please.” Isaac felt worried for Till but if he was so instant who was he to stop him? After all he did teach him how to ride a bike just for this.
Isaac just put on a slightly worried smile. “Okay if you’re ready for it. Just.. put some bandages on ur throat and don’t strain yourself too much.” He says while handing till some bandages.
Till smiles and nods a before Isaac reluctantly leaves. Tills eyes follow the door as it closes before his eyes meet Ivan’s. Till shifts his daze to his bandages which he promptly grabs and wraps around his neck.
It may not stop him from scratching his neck but at least this would cover the scratches for now.
He grabs the tray of food left on the side table and puts in on the bed before slowly eating it making sure not to eat it too fast as to damage his throat- again.
Once he finshed he took a deep breath and stood up. His feet touched the ice cold floor. He put on a hoodie and a scarf to cover his face. You could barely see the bandages covering his neck.
Before he was about to turn from the closet he saw Ivan right beside him grabbing him from behind.
“Get off” he said forcing the sound out of his mouth.
“Why.” Ivan says with no explanation.
“Do i need to swear at you to get you off? And why what?” Till replies barely above a whisper.
He grip suddenly tightens becoming harsher “Why couldn’t you just die in round 6. It would have been better you than me”
Till’s stomach clenched before he pushed Ivan off him and goes back to ignoring him. Returning to grab his notebook and pencil. He left his room without looking back at Ivan.
The halls were just as cold as he remembered. He didn’t stay with the people and families. While technically he’s still staying in the medical ward but he didn’t mean it’s cold and empty halls. Plus he was right next to the garage so he’d know if Isaac went out on an expedition (without him).
He met Isaac and Dewey in the garage. Isaac handed Till a bike helmet with a smile.
“Remember to wear this. It’s so Guards don’t recognize you as an escaped human. If you get lost just remember out base is west of the concert hall. But you should be sticking with the group.” Isaac warns before putting his own helmet.
Dewey fist bumps Till while smiling “Don’t crash, man. Isaac will kill you if you break his bike” Till scoffs at his remark.
Dewey hops on the back of Isaac’s bike. Till follows in their lead putting on his helmet and hopping on his own bike and heading out of the base.
They ride into the city the bright city lights aluminating their way.