Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

“Wake up.” Wednesday demanded from her side of the room, expecting her roommate to hear her.

“Five more minutes.” Enid grunted before turning around, hugging her pillow tighter as she drifted right back to sleep.

Wednesday checked the clock that hung on the wall. It seemed like Enid could have five more minutes of sleep after all. She stood still, closing her eyes to test her perception of time. It was easier that way anyway, as staring at her roommate’s side of the room for too long resulted in a wave of nausea that lingered for a bit too long. She opened her eyes.

Five seconds late. She cursed herself. A slack like that would be mortal on the battlefield.

“Wake up.”

“Give me a second.”

“You’re going to be late.” Wednesday replied with indifference, refusing to assimilate herself with the situation. A few more seconds passed before she turned around, swallowing down her frustration. She scanned her desk, looking for an item she could afford to spare before finally landing on a ballpoint pen that had been offered to her at her arrival to Nevermore. Anyone who looked at her once would guess that she much preferred the unpredictability of an inkpot and goose feather quill.

Wednesday raised her left arm, pointing it towards Enid’s head as she gauged the strength of her shot with her right hand.

“What the hell Wednesday!” Enid stood up, rubbing her head. Wednesday suppressed a smile.

“You’re going to miss the general assembly.”

“No I’m not.” Enid whined, her eyes opening wide as she finally noticed the time. “Shit. Shit, shit shit. I’m late. I’m so late.”

“I’ll fill you in if needed.” Wednesday hummed before exiting their room, considering her job done.

Things with Enid had been different since they had returned to school for the spring semester. Wednesday couldn’t quite put her finger onto what she had done, but her roommate’s usual vomitive affection towards her had been replaced with a quiet lassitude. She remembered the warmth of their hug, the night where Enid had saved her life. Little had happened between the two of them after that, with Enid leaving for California for the break to be with her family. Enid had been different. Quieter, sadder. Not that Wednesday cared. In fact, those were traits she preferred in a person. Their hug had meant nothing anyway. A rush of adrenaline at most.

“Thank you all for coming.” The new principal, whose name Wednesday had actively refused to learn, opened his arms to the crowd of sleepy teenagers that stood in front of him. “I fear we have started this new semester on… unstable grounds.”

The auditorium door creaked open, interrupting his speech. Wednesday turned her head only to notice Enid, still trying to balance arranging her shoe and closing the door behind her without drawing too much attention to herself.

“I’m sorry. Please continue. I’m sorry.” She raised a hand in apology before sinking in a seat on the highest row.

“As I was saying. I am sure that the recent loss of Principal Weems is still very difficult for a lot of us. I also feel the need to mention Miss Thornhill. I know some of you, especially at Ophelia hall, had grown quite fond of her over the course of the last semester. I can’t begin to imagine how such terrible betrayal from a trusted adult must’ve felt like. That is why, after a long conversation with the board of Psychic Psychologists of North America, we have decided to prescribe you with a trust bonding exercise.”

Whispers erupted throughout the room erupted in a loud bang. Wednesday's nostrils flared in disgust as the rest of her face remained still.

“Now I know this may not be everybody’s cup of tea.” The principal continued, hoping for the noise in the room to die down. “But it is necessary. In front of me are five piles of parchment. I want you all to line up with your respective groups, and each grab one piece of parchment. To the very left will be fangs, then furs, scales, gorgons, which will include our dear no-faces and finally, psychics, which groups all mind related powers, regardless of their nature.”

Wednesday stared at the last pile, which was notably smaller than the others before looking back at the principal. She’d die before admitting that her interest had been piqued.

“Each parchment is actually half of a full page whose twin can be found in another pile. The parchment has two sides. On one, you will write to your correspondent. On the other hand, the messages written by your correspondent will appear. You will be unable to write your name, or anybody’s name who has also been assigned a parchment. Your anonymity will be protected. If, at the end of the semester, you wish to meet your correspondent, a small banquet will be organised. You may not reveal your identity beforehand.”

“What’s the point of this?” A werewolf boy groaned, earning a couple of approving voices.

“The point is that Nevermore is only now coming out of a very difficult time. It is more important than ever that you trust each other, and form close bonds with people outside of your packs. We have been fragilized, made to distrust each other. The intercommunity bond of our school needs to be mended before we crumble.”

The room stayed quiet, the words of their principal resonating with the students more than expected.

“You may come and queue now.”

Wednesday sprung up, determined to be the first to reach the psychic table. She’d rather step into Enid’s side of the room than be stuck between two students, unable to chose the direction in which to move.

She folded her parchment in her pocket before exiting the room. The assignment was pointless to her, though she refused to discard it completely. She could see how it could be beneficial to lonely students. Pugsley would’ve liked it. Of course, she’d only reply if her correspondent started the conversation with something interesting.

__________________

Enid dragged her feet up the stairs, deciding to spend her breakfast time in bed instead. She’d been the last to pick up her parchment. Werewolves were notorious for birthing numerous pups which was very obvious when their queue was almost twice as long as any of the other ones. Walking through the quad had been a particularly unpleasant experience, the cold air of January making her lungs stutter in her ribcage. She had been dreading the first snow. The holidays were over. There was nothing to look forward to, yet the cold persisted, and grew stronger. She almost missed her home in California, where the days without sun were scarce.

She was tired. When did everything become so difficult? Surely this wasn't the way she was supposed to feel. The days in which she would’ve opened up to her unwilling roommate were in the past. After an awkward goodbye and a radio silence break, the taste of rejection had gotten old.

She laid in her bed, the parchment still in her hand. Her eyelids grew heavy the second her head hit the pillow, yet her mind refused to let her drift back to sleep just yet. Her back hit something hard. A pen? That’s what Wednesday had thrown at her? It had felt more like a stapler from the strength at which it had hit her that morning.

Enid bit her lip, the paper taunting her. If Wednesday insisted, there was no reason for her not to, she excused her eagerness as she pointed the pen down.

“Do you believe in a year without winter? I could surely use one.”

She watched mesmerised as the parchment transformed her neat handwriting into type writing font before fading away. She brought the paper up to her pillow and placed it beneath her head before finally allowing the Sandman to drag her away.

______________________

“Do you believe in a year without winter? I could surely use one.”

Wednesday’s eyes widened. It wasn’t even lunch and her teammate had already engaged. Not only that, but her correspondent knew her references. It had to be a girl, Wednesday did not believe any Nevermore boy capable of retaining such knowledge.

She suppressed a smile. The year without summer was only Wednesday’s favourite historical event. That and the invention of the guillotine. The eruption of the Mount Tambora Volcano in 1815 had caused the entire world to go dark. Crops died, people starved and developed severe vitamin D deficiencies due to the perpetual cloud that coated the Earth. Nobody had experienced a summer that year, their holiday plans ruined by the cold temperatures. It was that year that Mary Shelley and a few of her friends had found themselves locked in their cabin instead of enjoying the fresh air of the Swiss Alps. Struck by boredom, a writing contest had been set up which eventually led to the creation of Frankenstein, a novel Wednesday particularly cherished.

The year without winter, a clever twist on the year without summer, was an undeniable call for a semester of intellectual exchange, and rigorous writing practice. Wednesday would be lying if she said she didn’t need it. She had been slacking on her novel, the events of last semester throwing her off course.

She needed to think for a while about her reply to come up without something that would be worth her correspondent’s time.

Chapter Text

“Enid.”

“Don’t throw something at me please.” Enid groaned from under her covers.

Wednesday’s eyes widened. “I wasn’t going to.”

“You did earlier.”

“That was eight hours ago.”

Enid raised her head towards the clock for a second time before lowering it back down in defeat. She had missed all her classes.

“Thing called me on the crystal ball. He told me to bring you dinner.”

Enid turned around, finally meeting Wednesday’s dark eyes. She sighed. She used to feel so much when staring at them. She felt so little now.

“Please thank Thing for me.” She pursed her lips in an attempted smile. Thing had become the middleman to Wednesday's emotions. Enid wondered sometimes whether or not Wednesday knew that Enid had figured that part out. Whenever Wednesday’s pride prevented her from communicating to a humanely acceptable level, she used her forever companion as translator.

“I’ll go write now.”

“Have a good time.” Enid nodded, staring at the packed food that now stood alone in the middle of their room. It took her a couple of minutes before she managed to extirpate herself from the warmth of her blanket. Was Vermont always this cold at this time of the year?

It was with torpor that she shoved the food into her mouth. No matter how difficult it was, she knew she needed to regain some strength before the next full moon. She stared at the back of Wednesday’s head, wondering when she’d dare to ask the question that had plagued her weeks now. But she couldn’t. Her emotions had bubbled up so close to the surface of her skin that she wasn’t sure she could handle Wednesday’s habitual rejections, even the ones that harbored no ill intent.

She remembered her parchment, and reached for it under her pillow, making sure she hadn’t fabricated the entire episode. Morning felt lightyears away. To her surprise, something was written on it. She grabbed her blanket as well as her paper and pen before tiptoeing towards the balcony. Wednesday would make fun of her for participating in the experiment, she was sure of it. This needed to be a secret.

The ticking of the typewriter stopped.

“Grab a second blanket, the chairs are too cold to sit on now.”

“Right. Thank you.” Enid replied, her words muffled by the sound resuming from the typewriter.

Wednesday was right. Of course she was. But Enid had been too stubborn to listen, her heart pinched by how little time Wednesday had accorded to her reply. It was just Wednesday being Wednesday, but it still hurt.

She put on her headphones, tuning away Wednesday to focus on the paper she hadn’t dared to look at yet.

“Dreams are stitched when the seasons falter. On the years where winter flees, one starts writing to ghosts and enjoying it.”

Enid smiled. Her social circle was too wide to pinpoint anyone from the two sentences alone. Though finding out who the anonymous person was destroyed the purpose of the assignment. Perhaps she didn’t need to approach it this way.

She turned the page, tapping her pen, no, Wednesday’s pen against the balcony in a rhythmic manner. She could tell her nose was already getting stuffy from the cold air.

“Dear Ghost,” She started, smiling at herself. “I wonder who you are, though a faceless, nameless figure is all I can conjure. While I have nothing as poetic to write back, I do look forward to conversing with you. Perhaps you will be the one to heal my serious case of the Winter Blues. What hall are you in? You don’t have to reply if you don’t want to.”

She turned the paper back around, grimacing when she noticed her penpal’s previous message had erased itself when she had started writing. Her eyes widened as a few lines of ink appeared immediately.

“I must admit I have also found myself more drawn to this assignment than I originally intended. I will not divulge my hall as I have no intention of revealing my identity to you. Though I will still give you two clues to appease your winter blues. I am not a siren. I am not a boy. I have reason to believe my friend is also having a hard time due to the weather this semester though I do not know how to approach the conversation. I would be very appreciative to receive any advice from a primary source who is perhaps more equipped, or at least more experienced in navigating such matters of care without unmasking concern.”

Enid was surprised by this answer which forced to reflect on her situation. What could make her feel better? Her heart had been so full, so heavy for what felt like so long. She was glad her Ghost’s friend had someone to count on, proving to her once again that the loneliness that wrapped her whole was a product of her own making. She needed to ponder before giving her final answer, she decided as she stuffed the parchment in her pocket. The Ghost would have to wait.

She couldn’t face Wednesday just yet. Either she would stop writing and raise her eyebrow, silently questioning her, or she’d ignore her completely. Both felt impossible to go through at the moment. Wednesday caring was almost as suffocating as Wednesday not caring.

A flush crept up her cheeks as she remembered how much she used to care about what the girl thought of her. She had felt special, even, in the eyes of a girl only she could see the heart of.

How could she ignore me all break, when I needed her most?

The eternal question tattooed in the forefront of her mind. She turned her head around, peeking through Wednesday’s transparent side of their shared window. Sat straight as a ruler, she still typed away with no visible intention of taking a break. The small freckles on her nose, the wisps of hair that always found their way out of her braids by the end of the day. Her hands. How her comfortable clothes, which she only allowed Enid to see for the singular reason that they were roommates, swallowed her almost entirely, her face shining through amongst a sea of black.

Enid buried her head in her palms before rubbing her eyes. She still felt everything if she stopped and looked too hard. How frustrating it was to feel so much when Wednesday felt so little.

___________________

Wednesday turned off her desk light. She had gotten carried away by her writing. She looked at her parchment one last time. No response from her mystery writer. It surprised her still, how easily the words had flowed from her quill, corresponding with an ease that had never existed in her verbal conversations. Perhaps it was all the practice she had had with her novel, needing to imagine what Viper would feel before physically having to spell it out.

She sighed. No reply meant she needed to figure out what to do with Enid without the advice of a first handed winter blues survivor. The girl was still outside, though Wednesday had refused to worry until now. Lycanthropes had a much higher body temperature, and the weather wasn’t even cold enough to kill a normie. She bit her lip, evaluating the two terrible choices that unfolded before her. She could either venture into Enid’s side of the room while the girl wasn’t there and grab one of her many, many colorful blankets, or she could lend her one of her own and figure out how to retrieve it later.

Screw it, she couldn’t be bothered to break into hives right now. She reached for her black comforter, knowing she’d need to layer up for the night ahead.

“Enid.” She pronounced for what felt like the hundredth time a day. Did wolfing out entail symptoms of hibernation? She’d need to look into it.

“So cold.” Enid shivered, snapped away from her sleep. “C-can’t move.”

“You need to move.”

“C-can’t.”

Wednesday placed her comforter on the girl's shoulders, hoping that the newfound warmth would help unfreeze the blonde girl. A sliver of worry tinged her heart. This really wasn’t the Enid she had left back in December.

“Enid.” Her tone was neutral, but her voice was quieter, more caring. “Please.”
It took a few more minutes, but Enid eventually got up, refusing to open her eyes more than a few millimeters as she passed by Wednesday and entered the room, the dark haired girl’s blanket still tightly wrapped around her.

“Sorry about that. Goodnight Wednesday.” She yawned before plopping onto her bed, not caring to slide under her own blanket or to move her stuffies to the side.

Wednesday lied in her bed, her eyes staring at the ceiling, still bothered by their interaction. She had never wanted to care. She had never cared. But Enid’s pained sniffles in the middle of the night had become impossible to ignore. What was troubling the girl so much that it leeched onto her even in her dreams? It was none of Wednesday's business.

Yes it was. She concluded after hours of torment. It was true that affection had crept in uninvited, beyond anything she’d consciously chosen, but her meek efforts to care for the girl who had saved her life embarrassed her now that nobody was watching her. She needed to be better for Enid, with, or without the help of her new correspondent.

Chapter Text

Venomous plants class was one of the only classes they had in common this semester. It was Wednesday, who had sat next to Enid, everybody else too unbearable to be close to for an entire hour.

“Please put on your protective gloves and dissect the flower. It is dead, but some parts remain toxic until complete disintegration, so I need you to be careful to save us all an unnecessary trip to the infirmary.” The teacher said to her class from the comfort of her desk, not bothering to look up.

Wednesday obliged. It was something she had done countless times in her mother’s greenhouse. She needed to replenish her collection of venoms quite often after all. The entire work took her about two minutes. She stared at the desk, dumbfounded. How was it even legal to hold her hostage in the room until the hour was over? Kidnapping had really lost its shine, she thought.

“This is so stupid.” Enid grunted next to her. Wednesday turned her head only to be met with a frowning Enid whose shaky hands prevented her from extracting the thin stamens of the flower of the plant one by one.

“You can’t do it if you shake like that.” Wednesday remarked.

“Can you not?” Enid slammed her hands back onto the desk. “I don’t have patience for this today, Wednesday.” She warned her.

Wednesday frowned at the sudden aggression but said nothing. She knew better than to push Enid to her wits end on the first period of the day. She watched her roommate from the corner of her eye, a corner she’d carefully expanded through rigorous, self-taught eye-strengthening exercises. Dying from a backstab was the most humiliating way to go, and she took comfort in knowing it would never be her fate.

The blue and pink streaks had almost entirely washed off of her hair, and the girl hadn’t taken the time she usually treasured in the morning to do her makeup. Her beauty was still far above the average, surpassing anybody else at Nevermore, but seeing her radiant colours muted out still felt like whiplash, only without the satisfying afterburn. It was with a tight frown on her face and overly pursed lips that Enid attempted her task again.

“I’ll hold your flower so you can focus all your attention on the extraction.” Wednesday demanded after torturous minutes spent watching her roommate fail. Enid, who had been extremely focused on the task, jumped up in surprise, her multi-colored claws piercing through her gloves in the process.

“I just told you to not!” Enid whispered-yelled in frustration. “You owe me a new pair of gloves. How am I even supposed to finish now?”

“Have my gloves until the end of this period. I shall buy you a new pair.” Wednesday nodded, unfazed. It was a reasonable string of events considering Enid’s current state, there was no reason for her to be surprised at the girl’s lash out.

Enid didn’t reply, instead shooting her an annoyed look. Their eyes met. Behind Enid’s ocean blue eyes was a cloud of sadness that overpowered any fleeting feeling of frustration the girl was feeling in that moment.

“It’s fine. You don’t have to get me new gloves.” She sighed, her eternal kindness still remaining her driving force. She was too weak, too nice, Wednesday thought.

“I will.”

___________________

“Dear Ghost,” Enid started. Wednesday had left for Jericho during their free periods taking the morning shuttle. It was weird to be in her room without her roommate. Wednesday despised socialisation so much that she seldom left their shared habitat, doing so only for absolutely necessary occurrences, such as classes and dinners. With a bit of her luck, her pen pal would be available during these few hours of rest she had away from Wednesday. She stared down at the parchment, still unsure about what to write next. The pen eventually started to write, words from Enid’s heart coming out before they even stopped at her brain of a rationality check.

“Dear Ghost,

I find it honorable that you care about your friend so much. I truly wish I could say the same about my friends. I wonder if anyone notices my hardships. Sometimes I wish I could just tell them. But what could possibly be more embarrassing than begging someone to care? I don’t know. From what I’ve seen, words seem to be your strength. I guess it doesn’t quite matter what you do as long as it is felt on the other end. Winter blues remove any capability to do anything. If I’m honest, I can’t remember the last time I was warm to my bones. Please forgive me for these sporadic, untethered sentences. Wrapping my head around a sensation that coats every aspect of my life like wet snow to a barren field is quite difficult. I try to look everywhere, yet everything looks the same. I’ve lost all landmarks that indicated where I was, or where to go. I couldn’t tell you what to do exactly for your friend, you know him better than I ever will. Or is it her? I feel like this is the time I tell you I too, am a girl, and I too, am not a siren. I know you didn’t ask, but playing on an even field makes me feel better. I will end my message now before it spirals down to yet another nonsensical subject and look forward to your reply.”

Enid put her pen down, unsatisfied with her answer. She contemplated the words for a few seconds before they disappeared. There wasn’t anything she could do anymore anyway. She really hoped she hadn’t made too many spelling mistakes. Wednesday had been the first person to make her self-conscious on her writing when she had criticized her blog, hours after she had arrived last semester.

How could she carry her emotions on her sleeve already? Perhaps her penpal would appreciate it. Wednesday had ended up convincing that displays of emotions were the greatest embarrassment one would achieve, that she had forgotten some people relished in being trusted with such matters. At least she did. She really had thought she’d be the one to crack through the fortress that was Wednesday Addams. To get her to trust her and open up. One couldn’t expect to win every time, she concluded.

“I expected no less from you. To be transparent, I sensed you were a girl from the moment you sent me your first words. I mean it as a compliment of course. It is funny you believe words are my strength, I often believe the opposite. The freedom of writing things down, rather than having to confront you and talk to you certainly makes things easier, to my friend’s detriment. I suggest you find a landmark. Attach yourself something, or someone, a point in the horizon which stands above the snow, and which you can stare at in moments of difficulty. I personally find solace in the Lupus constellation. Unknown to many, I find it comforting to know that nobody I know knows where to spot it on a starry night. It is mine and nobody else’s. You are the first person to even find out about this embarrassing quirk of mine. Winters never last, unless we are thinking of the year without summer again. In a few months, when death recedes into a comfortable darkness, you will find respite. I believe that.”

Enid smiled at the instant reply. She couldn’t leave her confidante hanging again. Deciding to hold a real conversation and getting to know her, she took advantage of the fact that they were both near their parchment to engage further.

“I guess I’d be lying if I said my winter blues were entirely due to the weather.” She confessed. “I haven’t really been able to admit it but I’ve been hurt by someone I held close to my heart. I am trying to forgive, but I just can’t find the strength. But I really appreciated what you said about the landmark. Perhaps you are right. I find comfort knowing you are a girl too, thank you for your confession. I try to replay in my mind the people in our school that could be you, and yet no one comes to mind. No one I know would be capable of wording their emotions the way you do. Those who would, would’ve stopped talking to me, repulsed by my confessions long ago. I quite like thinking of you as a stranger, and appreciate you having no prior assessment of me to base yourself on and affect our connection. Perhaps the Psychics were right. I shall think of you as a faceless, nameless Ghost, stitched from dreams during the year without winter. Too much perhaps?”

A few seconds passed before a simple sentence showed up on her paper. Enid’s eyes widened at the question that had appeared.

“To what depths do the scars they inflicted reach?”

“Deep.”

Was all Enid could reply, choking up. If she started crying, her tears show up on her Ghost’s paper? She wouldn’t dare to find out. Communication with Wednesday would’ve perhaps filled some of the abyss the girl had carved into her. The only problem was Wednesday hated communication. She was also terrible at it, hurtful in most of her attempts, unresponsive and unfazed by the pain she inflicted so casually with her selectively chosen cutthroat words.

“You don’t owe them forgiveness. Whatever strength you have left, keep it for yourself. They’ve taken enough already from what I’ve read. You need enough energy to make it through the winter. Leaving the dead weight behind would be my advice.”

___________________________

“I can’t.”

Wednesday arched her eyebrow at her correspondent’s response. Leaving dead weight behind was possibly the easiest thing a human could do to render the journey ahead easier. The shuttle was finally approaching the outskirts of Jericho. She’d be fast, spending as little time as she could at the gardening store before taking the very same shuttle minutes later.

“Why?” She wrote, holding the piece of parchment steady against her book.

“Because I was in love with them.”

Wednesday stared at the answer, unimpressed. Of course this was a matter of heartbreak. She sighed. The shuttle was parking, leaving her no time to reply immediately. She sprinted to the shop, knowing her way around the town quite well.

She felt a sense of protectiveness over the person she had been talking with. If there was one thing Wednesday hated more than anything, it was punching down. No matter how disdainful she found the matters of the heart, making her penpal understand that was unnecessary. She had always had a knack for weaker people, a need to protect them overcoming her whether she liked it or not. It only made sense, despite how much she disliked it, she was an Addams after all. Pugsley, Eugene, her confidante. A listening ear was something she was willing to give as long as the rest of the school didn’t know she was capable of such tenderness.

She sighed before touching the pink gardening gloves without a second thought. Enid’s original ones were black, but hopefully a little more colour would liven her up. Caring was complicated. Hopefully Enid wouldn’t mention the gesture and they both would move on without an awkward exchange.

Back on the shuttle, she stared down at the parchment. Had it been too long? She looked around towards the empty seats. Luckily, nobody would be there to witness her shameful tenderness.

“I understand that makes things harder. Be gentle with yourself. You are speaking in the past. Has your love died because of the argument you two had?”

“There was no argument.” a reply appeared instantly. A second sentence followed before Wednesday could formulate a reply.

“There was nothing. I thought they could be my landmark, but they disappeared when I needed them most.”

“Betrayal.”

Wednesday’s nostrils flared in disgust. She didn’t know who the person was, but she already harboured a deep hatred for the boy who had broken her heart.

“I don’t know if I would call it a betrayal.”

____________________________

“He turned his back on you.” Enid stared at the sentence inked on the parchment. The assumption her Ghost had made made her cheeks flush. It was only a reminder of what was the norm, what she was supposed to feel. Her mind wandered towards Ajax, whom she had broken up with before even going back home for break, afraid the secret feelings she had towards her roommate would end up hurting him. She regretted that decision now. Perhaps the company of a boy was better than no company at all. The guilt and the shame were the hardest part to deal with. The shame of liking a girl who trusted her to share a bathroom, and a living space. The guilt of liking a girl at all.

She couldn’t correct her Ghost. She just couldn’t risk losing what she had just been given. A chance at being not only listened to, but heard.

Minutes passed without her being able to conjure an answer. The door of the room creaked open and she shoved the parchment in her pocket, grimacing as she sensed it crumping up.

“You’re back so soon.” Enid remarked, her heart still beating fast from being almost discovered.

“I have your gloves.” Wednesday hovered towards the door, unsure of what to do.

“You went into town just for that?”

“I had no other errands that demanded my time.”

“You shouldn’t have.”

“It’s already done.”

Enid’s eyes stared into Wednesday’s dark unexpressive ones. Perhaps it was yet another demonstration of her weakness, but she just couldn’t attribute the word betrayal to the girl.

“They’re pink.” Enid said, surprised as she was handed the gloves.

“Your hair isn’t anymore.”

“I guess not.”

“I suited you.” Wednesday nodded before turning around to her side of the room fast enough to not notice the blush that erupted on Enid’s cheeks. She hated how much of an effect the girl had on her, but she couldn’t ignore it yet. A part of her just couldn’t let go of Wednesday.

_______________________

Wednesday’s eyes opened. Based on her time perception, it couldn't have been more than four in the morning. She immediately attributed the sound that had woken her up to Enid.

Wednesday stood up, afraid the girl was suffocating in her sleep based on the whimpers. She stopped for a second before daring to cross the invisible line that marked the beginning of Enid’s space.

Deeply asleep, Enid was crying. But it was nothing like the few sniffles Wednesday had overheard at times. Tears streamed down her face, her hair sticking to her forehead as the muffled sobs escaped her pressed lips.

“Enid.” Wednesday whispered, unable to bring herself to touch the girl to wake her up.

But Enid didn’t wake up.

Wednesday needed to be brave. She laid her trembling hand over Enid’s body, a layer of blankets separating their skins. “Enid, wake up.” She shook her gently.

Enid gasped, her teary blue eyes opening wide as she regained control over her senses.

“What are you doing here?” She asked, sniffling.

“You’re crying.”

“I am? Oh I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to wake you up.” Enid’s broken voice smaller than Wednesday had ever heard before.

“No need to apologize.” Wednesday tried to rationalise the situation, every alarm bell ringing in her head. “You’re also drenched in sweat.” She remarked.

“Oh, right.” Was all Enid replied, her eyes landing on Wednesday’s hand, which she had forgotten to retreat.

“You need to take a shower. Cool yourself down. I can feel your abnormally high body heat from here.”

“I will. Sorry about my heat.”

Wednesday stared at her, perplexed. But her voice had sounded so vulnerable she couldn’t bring herself to comment on how stupid Enid’s apology had been. Wednesday thought back on her correspondent, who had called her her Ghost. She wouldn’t be able to face her again if she didn’t extend her care to Enid too.

“Do you find yourself able to walk and find a new set of pyjamas? I’ll go run the water in the shower.”

“Clothes. Yes. I can do that.”

“Very well.” Wednesday stood up before heading to their bathroom, breathing a sigh of relief as the distance between her and her roommate grew wider. “Enid.” She turned around, surprised by her own boldness.

“Yes?” The girl was now sitting on the edge of her bed.

“I wanted to inform you that I’ll stay in the bathroom with you. Your current condition leads me to believe you are at risk of fainting. Over 10% of sudden deaths of people under 65 happen in a bathroom, as do 80% of falls that happen at home. Knock when you have drawn the curtain and I’ll come sit with you. I will take you stopping the water at any time as my queue to exit the bathroom so you can be decent again. Unfortunately I am unable to compromise, my decision has been taken. Please do not argue.”

“Okay.”

Wednesday nodded before entering the bathroom, a slight flush creeping on her freckles. She needed to set the water temperature low enough that it would cool her off. At what temperature did people shower? She had never bothered to turn the lever towards hot water for herself, rejoicing the shock that was freezing water on her skin. She sat on the toilet, not knowing what to do while she waited for Enid.

“You’re not wearing your braids.” Enid commented as she entered the bathroom, her eyes still red, but definitely more awake.

Wednesday’s eyes widened. In the rush of night she had forgotten to redo the braids she only unwinded once everyone had gone to sleep. Enid had seen her without a cornerstone of her protective barrier.

“I like it.” Enid smiled before Wednesday had the time to reply. Wednesday left the room with a curt nod just in time to mask her brighter, warmer blush. Enid and her damned relentless kindness. She took this time out of the bathroom as an opportunity to run towards her nightstand and braid her hair again.

Four knocks.

Wednesday’s fingers trembled against the doorknob.

“You can come in.” Enid reinforced, having sensed her from the other side of the door.

Wednesday froze after entering the room. Above the tank were two neat piles of clothes. She heard Enid sigh under the shower.

“You were right. This feels nice.” The girl said from across the curtain.

Wednesday turned around and sat down, her back facing the clothes in a desperate attempt to detach her mind away from wandering thoughts. She felt guilty almost, for having rebraided her hair, and reinforced her barriers while Enid stood bare not a meter away from her. She sighed, untangling her hair and wrapping the elastic bands around her wrists. Perhaps if she tried hard enough, she’d be able to convince herself and Enid that this was all a dream.

The water stopped. Enid hadn’t fallen and cracked her skull open. Her job was done. Wednesday darted up and sprung back to her bed, slamming the door behind her. She buried herself under her blankets, trying to control the rapid beating of her chest. Breathe. She needed to breathe.

The bathroom door opened, and all the progress she had done vanished.

“Goodnight Wednesday. Thank you.” Enid waved at her before switching off the bathroom light.

“Goodnight Enid.” The words finally escaped out of her mouth several minutes after, imperceptible to the other girl.

Chapter Text

“Let’s walk.” Wednesday demanded, standing on the other side of the room with her coat already on.

Enid looked up from her homework, confused.

“It’s freezing outside.” She scrunched her nose, not bought by the unappealing offer.

“It’s 40 degrees.”

“Same thing.”

“If I’m not mistaken, our schedules coincide for two free periods.”

“They do?”

Wednesday nodded, and Enid could’ve sworn she had caught a faint blush appear on the girl’s cheeks. Would Wednesday want to bring up her embarrassing moment of weakness the previous night? Enid hadn’t yet recovered from it. Wednesday had woken her up from her nightmare. Truthfully, Enid didn’t even remember what she had dreamt about, only the crushing feeling on her heart that had come with it.

The shower. She had completely forgotten about the shower. A vague image of Wednesday without her braids appeared in her mind, leading her to believe that it had perhaps been all a dream. But she wasn’t wearing the same clothes as yesterday. Her heart stuttered. Had Wednesday really done all of what she remembered?

“Fine I will but only if you promise to never bring up yesterday night again.” She blurted.

“That’s fine by me.” Wednesday’s shoulders relaxed.

“I was wondering what your thoughts were on the new assignment we’ve been given.” Wednesday started the conversation once they had left school grounds. Enid tried her best to not be disarmed by the question. She wrapped her arms around herself in a desperate attempt to gather warmth. It had been a while since she had stretched her legs out further than just to go from her room to class.

“You mean the penpal thing?”

“Precisely.”

“I haven’t really thought about it. I haven’t written in mine and my correspondent hasn’t reached out. I don’t really know what the principal expected to be honest.” Enid sighed. She wasn’t about to admit the truth to Wednesday. She really took pleasure in conversing with her Ghost, with topics going from lighthearted mundane thoughts to deeper, more personal confessions. She wasn’t going to let Wednesday ruin the one thing she looked forward to every day with a deadpan snarky comment. “What about you?”

Wednesday tensed up, her eyebrows frowning for a fraction of a second before any expression disappeared off of her face as quickly as it had surged. “I’d prefer not to be compelled into interacting with another teenager. Unless the principal instores a daily quota of words required to be met, I’ll keep to myself.”

“Right.” Enid nodded. Wednesday’s reply hadn’t been as crude as she had expected, and she now almost regretted lying to her roommate. “I’m about to lose a toe, maybe we should head back inside?” She shivered.

“We’ve been outside for less than five minutes.”

“Five minutes too many if you ask me.” Enid yawned.

Wednesday stopped in her tracks to face her, her dark eyes meeting Enid’s blue ones. Enid blushed, still disarmed by the beauty of her roommate. She hated how much of an impact the girl still had on her. It was only more embarrassing now, after she had confessed to her Ghost what she had only admitted to herself on a couple of occasions, when the night had swallowed her whole and left her bare, her secrets blossoming like moonflowers on her skin.

Wednesday slowly reached a hand up her fingers pressing firmly around the end of Enid’s sleeve. Enid’s heart skipped a beat, making her feel the way she did when she missed a step as she reached the top of a flight of stairs.

“I will go on a walk everyday at this exact hour. I won’t force you to come with me, as I don’t believe in forcing anyone to do anything.” Wednesday paused, her eyes still piercing through Enid’s. She pursed her lips, the following words struggling to come out of her mouth. “But I’d prefer it if you walked with me.”

Enid was rendered speechless. Wednesday detached her grip and resumed walking as if nothing had happened. How could the girl have done such a drastic turn around, just as Enid had finally let go of her feelings?

Good enough to know Wednesday was all she had ever wished to be. Wednesday hadn’t even given her that, using her, causing her to move out of her own room, risking Enid's life for her own selfish pursuits.

Then came the winter break. The radio silence. The unanswered texts. The declined calls. Everything was just too fresh. Everything was just too painful.

“I’m going back inside. I’m sorry. I’ll see for tomorrow.” Enid gulped, not daring to meet Wednesday’s questioning eyes.

“Very well.” Wednesday conceded after a long pause, quickening her pace away from Enid before the girl had even had the time to take her leave.

_______________________

“Dear Ghost. How are you doing on this cold, dead day? I haven’t had time to talk to you until now. Would it be crazy for me to say that I missed you already? Please disregard my last sentence if it is.”

Enid leaned back on her desk chair, contemplating her message. Was she too much already? No. Her brain was already trying to play tricks on her. She had been the one to leave her Ghost on read, twice. She had been replied to with quickness on multiple occasions. Wednesday was just so ever present in her mind that she always had to remind herself that the dark haired girl was the exception, not the norm.

Her ghost was clearly busy. Probably with a class they didn’t share. Enid stared at the parchment that had become blank again. How terrible would it truly be to write another message before receiving a response? She had always been a fervent defender of double texting after all.

She thought back on her confidante’s previous answer. He turned his back on you. Her heart swelled. Shame crept up to her ears. If she was going to talk about Wednesday, she’d have to accept doing so through a veil of gender concealment. She was starved for a connection with her Ghost, but wasn’t foolish enough to come out to someone who was virtually a perfect stranger.

“About the boy.” She ignored the knot in her throat as her lies stared back at her. “I can’t call it a betrayal and I don’t want you to either. I know you already dislike him. All my friends do. They say he puts me through too much, giving me just enough to come back running to him. But I just can’t. I can’t hate him. I know this may be a bit pathetic to read on your side, but please be gentle with me. It’s really cold outside and I don’t have a lot. I am doing my best to establish boundaries to protect myself, but I don't know if I’ll make it through the winter without every shred of support I can gather. I know he doesn’t give me much, but I have too little to spare.”

She stared at the clock. Wednesday would be back from her walk soon. Enid couldn’t face her. Not yet. She grabbed her things and scurried out of the room, not having decided yet on where to lay camp until school life would summon her to some place she had no choice but to go to.

_______________________

She watched Wednesday stand in the middle of their room every day, waiting for a couple of minutes. Enid could feel her eyes on her back as she refused to turn around from her desk and stare at the dark haired girl. Eventually, Wednesday always accepted her defeat and went on the walk on her own.

Meanwhile, Enid sleepwalked through her life, a grey, blurry film coating every inch of Nevermore as the buildings and the cloudy sky became one. Her legs moved her from class to class. Her hands wrote down notes, and sometimes even shoved food into her mouth, but everything was so distant, and nothing felt real.

Her favourite part of the day was always talking with her Ghost. She had grown so attached to the golden piece of parchment that it had been difficult for her to even wait for their designated time to converse every day. During the hours Wednesday dedicated to writing, Enid would slip away into a vacant classroom, using the loud ticking of her roommate’s writer as an excuse to slip away. She had never felt more understood, more seen than by the ink she sometimes trailed her fingers on, closing her eyes as she imagined being in her Ghost’s warm presence. They had managed to somehow not divulge any additional information about each other and still find endless topics to linger on during their sessions.

Enid only regretted not being able to open up about her family, her problems with them all regarding lycanthropy, a crucial part of her identity. She frowned. It had become so easy for her to lie to herself. Something else had caused irreparable damage in their relationship. She wasn’t going to let it do this to her and her Ghost. She refused. It was nauseating to think about.

___________________

“Are you going to the new Rave’N?” Enid asked. The idea for a redo had come from the principal, a second chance to rewrite the disaster that was last semester’s event. She hadn’t expected it to stir anything in her, but it had. A quiet spark, barely noticeable at first, began to flicker beneath the frost she'd built around herself. Choosing a dress for Yoko had sent a sharp, yet familiar rush through her. Somehow, it made her happy. And that was enough.

“I don’t know yet.” Her ghost replied.

“You don’t like dancing?”

“I love dancing.”

“Then why?”

The parchment stood blank for several minutes. Enid’s heart bounced against her ribcage. If she convinced her to go to the Rave’N, she’d know for sure she’d be in the same room at the same time as her. How thrilling it was, to think of their impossible proximity.

“I’m scared I’ll be alone.”

“Can’t you go with your friends?”

“I don’t know.”

“I’m sure they’d be happy to hang out with you.”

“It’s been a bit difficult. While I don’t mind being alone, having it open for everyone to see makes me hesitate. I wanted to offer my friend to go together, but I don’t think she wants to be around me anymore.”

Enid knew immediately the girl was referring to her blue friend. It had taken a while for her Ghost to open up about her, but Enid almost felt like she knew her. Ghost had only ever spoken to her in the kindest terms, her protectiveness laced into every sentence, staining the page with unspoken care and affection she often cursed herself for failing to express face to face.

“She does.”

“I don’t know.”

“You have to be strong. I know what it’s like to have your efforts be rejected time after time, no matter how much it took for you to even try. She’s probably just going through things you don’t know about, that she doesn’t want to burden you with. It happened to me last year with a dear friend of mine. But time and time again I came back, I recoiled, because that’s what friends do.”

“How did it end?”

“I think she appreciated it. No matter how difficult it was for her to say it. At least that’s what I tell myself.”

“Thank you. Your insight is always fascinating. You have a way with words that I admire.”

A blush crept to Enid’s freckles. The girl was often complimentative of her intelligence, something she’d never really received. From a very early age, Enid had realised that there was nothing people loved more than feeling like they were the smartest person in the room. Shrinking herself down to fit in, she had always been liked by her peers and the adults she met. It was only in moments of decision making, or serious matters that her attitude caught up to her. No one took her seriously. Not seriously enough to ask for her input at least. She was even pretty sure it was what had cost her a spot amongst the Nightshades.

But Ghost did. Ghost always wanted to know her thoughts on things, seeking for advice, and her opinion on specific topics. Being intellectually acknowledged, being listened to was something she realised she hadn’t really experienced until now.

“What if we met at the Rave’N?” She scribbled, knowing the recklessness in her proposition.

“It goes against the rules.”

“I just don’t want you to be disappointed when the semester ends, you know? I’ve grown to really really appreciate you, but a part of me feels like I’m cheating you. Would you still want to talk to me if you knew who I was?”

“Nothing you could ever do would make me disappointed. I have gained too much from our grounding exchanges. My care for you transcends the physical, which has never been part of our relationship anyway. I don’t see how I could be let down.”

“Then come see me. When the clock strikes 12, meet me at the Quad. Please.”

No response. Enid put the pen down in frustration. When would she stop being so impulsive? When would she stop overstepping people’s boundaries and finally be normal? She shoved the parchment in her pocket, refusing to stare at the rejection for longer.

Stomping up the stairs of Ophelia Hall, she resisted the urge to pierce through the numerous posters and bulletin boards with her claws. She was just too much. To everyone.

She forgot to knock, entering their room without warning Wednesday of her arrival. The girl wasn’t in her habitual writing spot. She had instead propped up her black blanket against their shared window and sat with her back against the glass. Enid was surprised at the sight. Wednesday was an abnormally short human being. Seeing her sitting alone in the middle of the wide room sparked a feeling of guilt inside her chest.

Wednesday always claimed she didn’t mind being alone. Enid had just never realised just how alone she was. She was pretty sure that with Xavier’s departure, and Tyler’s betrayal, as well as her distancing herself, Wednesday’s last remaining friend that had four limbs and a brain was Eugene. Thing was important to her, but counting him as a full person didn’t feel right to Enid when trying to justify how many people Wednesday could count on.

She recalled her Ghost’s words, and the ache she’d carried that semester under the weight of Wednesday’s cold distance. She knew too well the quiet sting of feeling unwanted, of wondering when Wednesday had stopped choosing her presence, or whether or not the girl had ever wanted her around at all.

“Are you okay Wednesday?”

“Yes. I was just changing spots in the hopes inspiration would strike me here. Viper is moving slowly these days.”

“I see. That must be frustrating.” Enid tried to mask her surprise at Wednesday’s confession. It wasn’t often the girl admitted anything that could be perceived as a potential weakness. “How would you feel about attending the Rave’N with Yoko and I?”

“The Rave’N?” Wednesday’s eyes widened.

“It’s next week. Basically we’re having a redo because of what happened last time. Did your homeroom teacher not notify you?”

“They did. I just,” Wednesday paused, frowning at her. Whatever thought she had had, she let it go. “I’ll tag along. I’ll probably head to bed early.”

“Sounds good.” Enid smiled, her heart light. “I’ll go take a shower. Unless you needed to use the bathroom?”

“No no, you go ahead.”

“Thank you Wednesday.”

Wednesday nodded firmly before standing up and starting to fold her blanket. Enid turned back around that as she opened the bathroom door.

“Wednesday?”

“Yes?”

“I’m happy you’re coming.”

“I appreciate the invite.”

Enid stripped, the water of the shower slowly heating up. She was finally happy with herself. She wasn’t Ghost, with her quiet affection, or Wednesday, with her curtness and her clumsy way of caring. She wasn’t Ghost’s friend either, who let the winter blues swallow her whole until she was no more. She wasn’t going to be like that.

She was Enid Sinclair, and Enid Sinclair always made it work.

The parchment had slipped out of her pocket revealing new ink.

“I will meet you.”

Chapter Text

The tension between Enid and her confidante did nothing but rise during the days leading to the Rave’N. Everyday, Enid sleepwalked, waiting for the clock to strike Wednesday O’clock, at which point her roommate requested privacy for her writing, privacy Enid was more than willing to give.

Enid’s emotions had reached an intensity she didn’t know she still was able to feel. Her boundaries with Wednesday, accompanied with how close she had gotten with her Ghost had mixed into a perfect cocktail of unchecked bursts of euphoria. Granted, those bursts were often followed by drops so abysmal Enid often feared she’d never shower again and step a foot out of her bedroom. But she always did. She was truly doing such a terrible job at being as depressed as she was.

“Dear Ghost,

The day has come for us to meet. I must admit I have trouble containing my excitement. I have been crafting my escapade for days now, practicing the lines I will deliver to my friends in order to get away from their hold without concern and meet you. I savour the sensation of knowing you will be in the same room as me, waiting for the moon to crown and the clock to strike the witching hour. I had a question to ask you before we meet. I have been calling you My Ghost since the very first day, when you told me poetically that “When the seasons falter, one starts to talk to Ghosts and enjoying it.” Do you refer to me in any way? Tell me Ghost, oh my dear Ghost, have you given me a name?”

Enid blushed. She had become more daring, more obvious with her flirtations. Ghost hadn’t acknowledged them, but hadn’t refused them either, often replying back with tenderness. The chances of her liking girls were incredibly small, Enid knew it, but a part of her couldn’t help but hope, hope that there was someone else like her in the stupid school, and that she had somehow miraculously stumbled upon her.

“It appears you have caught me. I have given you a name.”

“And what might that name be?”

“Dahlia.”

“Like the flower?”

“It isn’t just any flower. It is a Mexican tuberous-rooted flower which represents one’s inner-strength. It is a flower given to people when they are going through hard times.”

“I was always told they represent beauty and kindness.”

“You possess all three anyway.”

Enid gasped trying to calm down the blush on her cheeks that almost prevented her from breathing. She was thankful for the classroom walls, which contained her squeals of excitement away from prying eyes and judgmental ears. She grabbed her pen, toying with it between her teeth before finally replying back.

“I believe you when it comes to inner strength and kindness, I have my reservations when it comes to the third one.” She deflected.

“I do not need tonight to know for a fact that you are beautiful, Dahlia. That part was clear from the first words you sent me.”

Enid banged her forehead lightly against the desk, resisting the urge to kick her legs as she convinced herself this wasn’t a dream.

“I must go, I’ll see you tonight.” Her confidante replied before Enid had the time to write back anything. The blonde girl turned to the clock, disappointed. She couldn’t go back to her room yet, as Wednesday wouldn’t be done for another hour with her writing.

She found the room empty when the time had come for her to get ready. She sighed. Losing Yoko with false pretences would be much easier than convincing Wednesday she had nothing to hide. The girl had always been able to see right through her. Somehow, the only thing her annoyingly good detective roommate had ever managed to miss was Enid’s glaringly obvious feelings for her the previous semester.

It had all started at the Rave’N, if Enid really thought about it. Wednesday and her stupidly enticing dance moves. Wednesday and her black dress. Wednesday being there with someone else. She still remembered how panicked she had been as her eyes frantically moved from Wednesday to Tyler to Lucas to Ajax and back to Wednesday again. It had always been Wednesday. Wednesday Wednesday Wednesday.

“Enid.” The girl materialized behind her.

“Jeez Wednesday you scared the shit out of me!” Enid jumped. Wednesday stared at her, her eyebrows tensed in a small frown. Had her psychic abilities extended to mind reading? Enid always felt like a deer caught in the headlights. “You’re soaked. Did you go outside just now?”

“No, I took a shower with my clothes on.”

“Ha. Ha.”

“I wanted to give you this.” Wednesday handed her a pot. She continued before Enid had the time to properly examine her gift. “The ground has been frozen solid for a week now. I noticed it on one of my walks a couple of days ago. When it started raining earlier I thought I’d take my chance and see if I could dig it up.”

“A snowdrop.” Enid brought the small white flower to her eyes. The delicate petals still had a few microscopic droplets hanging for their life like morning dew on a cloudless day.

“I know meaningless American teenager traditions suggest a corsage. I was unable to procure myself with one.”

“That’s for prom dates, don’t worry.”

“Isn’t prom also a dance where hormonal teenagers gather together in a room and drink spiked punch?”

“Yes but,” Enid stopped herself.

But we’re not dating.

“Thank you Wednesday.”

Wednesday nodded curtly. “This snowdrop will survive through the winter. I’ll take care of her.”

“Her?” Enid’s eyes met Wednesday’s. Was this her roommate once again using an intermediate to communicate, or was she just vowing to take care of Enid’s plant?

“I removed the stamens.” A faint blush bloomed on Wednesday’s freckles.

“Right.”

“I’ll go shower now. I won’t be long. After that, you may take whatever time you need in the bathroom, I won’t require its use anymore.”

“Thank you.”

Enid placed the pot delicately on the floor by their shared window. She needed to make sure her flower got all the sunlight she needed to survive. She lied in her bed, staring at the ceiling. A corsage. Wednesday had wanted to give her a corsage. Enid was almost upset at Wednesday for digging up her buried feelings alongside the flower right as she was going to meet her Ghost, the one that had plagued her every thought.

“Wow.” Enid snapped out of her thoughts when the bathroom door opened. The front pieces of Wednesday’s hair had been tied together behind her head with a black ribbon, leaving her entire face, neck, and collarbone exposed for what Enid believed to be the first time. A tight black choker was wrapped around her throat, creating a stark divide across her delicate skin. Her dress was different from last year. Black, of course, but with a square neckline, puffed shoulders and elbow length sleeves. The cut of the dress ended a bit before her knees. Enough to drive the Enid from last semester straight to an early grave. “You look like a haunted gothic doll.”

“Thank you Enid. I’ve always suspected I once was one before my reincarnation into this body.”

“I just meant you look really pretty.” Enid muttered. Wednesday blushed, and this time, it was so obvious to the both of them, so impossible to hide that she turned around abruptly, staring at her side of the room, her shoulders as rigid and still as a corpse.

Enid took this as a cue to get ready herself, hurrying to the bathroom with a pile of clothes and enough wandering thoughts twisting together to lose anyone in the maze that was her heart. It was the Rave’N. It was how she had realised she had been in love with Wednesday Addams. What had she expected? Asking her to come to her with the dance? But tonight was all about her Ghost. All week, her heart had fluttered for the girl whose face she had never seen, and whose kind, giving heart she knew by heart. She couldn’t let Wednesday jeopardise everything. Her Ghost gave her everything, reassurance, kind words, compliments on her persona and her intellect. Wednesday always gave her just enough to keep her running back, addicted to how little she was used to receiving.

No. She couldn’t fall down that rabbit hole like that when the night hadn’t even started yet, and Wednesday had been nothing but nice.

“You look like a snowdrop.” Wednesday’s eyes widened as Enid exited the bathroom wearing the tiny white dress she had put on. It was all she had after she had left her San Francisco home in a rush, a summer dress for a winter ball and no allowance to buy anything else.

“I was going for virgin sacrifice, but thank you.” She groaned.

“Before, or after sacrifice?”

“Before I guess ?” Enid frowned, wondering if Wednesday had taken her seriously.

“I suggest adding blush to your cheeks, or any touch of colour then. Your pink hair would’ve done but it is no more. People who go after virgin sacrifices usually enjoy their target to look full of life.”

“Are you saying I look half dead?”

“I’m not going to repeat my compliments.”

“Let’s just go, we’re going to be late.” Enid closed her eyes in disbelief at her roommate’s lack of tact. Deep down, she knew Wednesday was right. Her hair had gone back to its original white, devoid of any color for the first time since she had turned eight. She hadn’t seen the sun in weeks, and her skin blended in with her dress. The worst part was, Wednesday had meant it as a compliment, but had instead torn apart the confidence Enid had scrambled for all day.

“I sense I’ve upset you.”

“I don’t even know why you’d even think that.”

“You’re frowning.”

“I just don't think being called half dead is the compliment you think it is.”

“All I had said was that you looked like a snowdrop. You’re the one who veered the conversation towards sacrifices.”

“I can’t do this tonight Wednesday.” Enid snapped at her. She was being irrational, she knew it. It didn’t feel good, yet a small part of her rejoiced in the fact that she was the one shutting her roommate down, instead of the other way around. After all, it had taken weeks of Wednesday perpetually making fun of her and her hobbies before she had even looked at her with something other than disgust in her eyes. If she had taken it for months, Wednesday could take it for a night.

“Girl! You didn’t tell me you were coming with Wednesday!” Yoko took her apart from the crowd the second she arrived on the dancefloor.

“I felt bad, she had no one to go with.”

“That’s not what I mean.”

“What do you mean then?”

“Don’t play dumb with me.”

“I’m so serious right now Yoko, I’m not following.”

“So you scored a date to a dance with your crush and you want me to third wheel? No way girl, I’m going with the others. Promise you’ll fill me in on the juicy gossip after!”

“Wait no Yoko. Please don’t leave me alone with her.” Enid’s eyes widened as Yoko slipped away from her grip.

“You’ll thank me later.” Yoko winked at her before disappearing.

Enid was livid. She needed to get a grip, and she needed to get a grip fast. She could practically feel Wednesday’s eyes tearing holes through the back of her head. The clock hadn’t struck 10 that she already wanted to disappear. 2 more hours. She needed to enjoy herself for 2 more hours before she’d finally meet her Ghost.

“Do you want to dance?” Enid asked Wednesday, a flat smile pressed against her lips.

Wednesday nodded faintly. A cold rush of shame ran down her spine as she noticed the girl being weary of what she might do next. Why had she been so harsh with Wednesday? She still remembered how annoyed she had been back in their room, but no action from Wednesday felt consequent enough to justify her lash out. She was a mess.

“I’m sorry Wednesday.” Enid pushed strands of her hair behind her ears nervously. “I don’t know what’s up with me. All I’ve ever wanted was to dance here with you and I’m ruining it. I don’t know how you keep up with my mood swings honestly”

Wednesday took a step forward and wrapped Enid’s hand in hers before squeezing gently. Enid shuddered at the physical contact. She couldn’t even remember the last time their skins had touched. Enid closed her eyes. How she had dreamed of their fingers entwined, aching for the shameful nearness she couldn’t stop craving.

“I am glad I am here with you. Let’s dance.”

It didn’t take long for Enid to remember why the Rave’N had been the awakening of her feelings for her roommate. Wednesday moved with swiftness, and elegance. As possessed as she was by the dance floor, her limbs moving in a manner only Wednesday would dare to try, there was an undeniable charm that radiated off of her. She was absolutely beautiful. Enid’s body relaxed as the night progressed, Wednesday’s energy too infectious to resist.

And so they danced together.

Never touching, but somehow closer than ever before. Panic washed over Enid the few times Wednesday was close enough for her to feel the girl’s breath press on her collarbone. Wednesday Addams would be the death of her.

The beat dissolved into silence, immediately replaced by the gentle sway of slow-dance music. Enid blushed, gathering the courage to look Wednesday in the eyes. Would she herself be brave enough to dance with a girl in front of everyone at Nevermore? Perhaps she would, if Wednesday was willing.

“I believe this is my queue to retire for the night. Thank you for the best Rave’N I ever attended.” Wednesday nodded, giving Enid a small smile. Enid’s heart stuttered against her ribcage. Had she ever even seen Wednesday smile? This meant a lot coming from her roommate despite how crushed she was.

“Of course.” Was all Enid could reply, the knot in her throat too tight to utter anything else. What had she even expected? For her and Wednesday to embrace each other and start swaying on the dancefloor?

11:45

Perhaps Wednesday’s prompt departure was for the best. She’d have the time to go to the powder room before her meeting.

“You’ve got this Enid, You’ve got this.” She repeated to herself. She cursed. She had been too stubborn to grab her blush because Wednesday had been the one to suggest it, a decision that dearly cost her now that she was making herself pretty for her Ghost.

She could barely breathe as she made her way to the Quad. She was five minutes early, enough to gather her thoughts and practice what she’d say when Ghost would appear.

“You’ve got to be kidding me.” She cursed, hiding behind a wall.

What was Wednesday doing here? Staring at the stars, the girl had rebraided her hair. Enid waited for several minutes, minutes during which Wednesday showed no intention of leaving. She shivered. Wearing a summer dress in January was catching up to her. The chattering of her teeth would soon reveal her position. Enid stood behind the wall, praying for Wednesday to leave and for Ghost to appear before she would be the one to call it quits.

12:15

Screw it. Screw Wednesday. Screw her penpal. Screw everyone.

Enid headed back to the dance floor, not forgetting to throw daggers with her eyes at Wednesday, hoping the girl would somehow feel their sting.

“Enid?” Yoko joined her at the entrance, a cup in hand. The music had reverted back to danceable hits, and Enid really needed a distraction. Wednesday had left her stranded before ruining her plans with her Ghost. Well perhaps she hadn’t ruined anything, since her confidante had gotten cold feet and left her alone as well. Girls were stupid. All of this was stupid.

“Please tell me one of you has managed to spike the punch.”

“You bet.” Yoko smiled, raising her glass, a proud smile spread across her face.

“Great.” Enid grabbed the cup away from Yoko and shoved the liquid down her throat. Disgusting.

__________________________

Wednesday sat on a bench by the naked tree in the middle of the Quad. She was early, having given herself enough time to mentally prepare for her meeting before Dahlia would appear.

Her heart wouldn’t slow down. She looked up, her eyes searching for the Lupus constellation in a desperate attempt at grounding herself.

Dahlia didn’t show.

Wednesday stood still, her body refusing to accept the reality of her situation. She wasn’t coming.

She was about to accept her defeat and leave when a figure appeared. Her hopes left her as quickly as they had arrived.

“Wednesday.”

“Bianca.”

“What are you doing here?”

“Nothing that concerns you. I was just leaving anyway.”

Wednesday turned around, her cheeks flushed as she made her way to Ophelia Hall. Bianca couldn’t be Dahlia. She just couldn’t. Dahlia had confessed on one of their first days of talking that she was not a Siren. She finally made it to her room after what felt like forever. Furious, she undressed before putting on her pyjamas and laying in her bed, arms crossed.

How humiliating it had been, to expose herself and receive nothing in return. Her parchment was blank too. No excuses. No message. Nothing from Dahlia. Her heart sank. Had Dahlia seen her, and decided that she no longer wanted to meet her? As much as she hated to admit it, that was the most plausible scenario. Being an outcast in a school full of outcasts had never bothered her until now. Everyone knew her name. Everyone was scared of her. Of course Dahlia had been put off.

The only person that hadn’t judged her was–

Three knocks.

“Yoko?”

“Wednesday, it’s Enid she–

Wednesday’s eyes veered towards Enid, who was very obviously drunk.

“I’ll take care of it. Now I suggest you leave before I send Thing to strangle you in your sleep for having allowed her to drink this much.”

“Careful, she’s heavier than she looks.” Yoko passed Enid’s arm above Wednesday. The girl hadn’t lied, Enid was incredibly difficult to carry.

Wednesday threw a couple more threats at Yoko before slamming the door behind her and leading Enid towards the bathroom. Enid crouched by the toilet and threw up immediately.

Wednesday’s blood turned cold. She needed to act rationally, and clinically despite how strong her murderous intentions were. How hard would it truly be to kill a vampire?

“Enid? What happened? Did someone slip you something?”

“Fruit punch.” Enid sighed as she sat on the bathroom floor, pearls of sweat trickling down her forehead.

“I’ll grab a towel and get it wet for you,” Wednesday said, turning abruptly toward the sink. Her voice was steady, but her heart faltered. There was something in the way her roommate looked, so small, so still, that twisted something deep inside her. A pressure welled in her throat, unfamiliar and unwelcome.

Why did she feel like crying?

“Thank you.” Enid nodded. “I feel better now that I threw up anyway. I have thoughts again."

“That’s good.” Wednesday uttered, her voice small as she placed the towel on Enid’s forehead.

“Will you stay with me for a bit? I don’t know that I’m done throwing up.”

“Of course.” Wednesday sunk slowly to the floor. She knew Enid needed to shower, but was in no state to do so by herself.

“I’m okay. I’ll just shower tomorrow.” Enid grabbed her hand, reading her mind. Wednesday didn’t pull away. “Just stay with me.”

They sat in silence together. Enid threw up again a couple of times as Wednesday pulled her hair away from her face. It was strange to be this close to her roommate, but caring for her was the most intuitive thing she had ever done. Every fear of human touch she had ever had had vanished.

After what felt like hours of quiet hand-holding and Wednesday’s fingers softly tucking strands of blonde hair behind her ears, Enid finally found her voice.

“Remember when I moved back into the room last semester.” She trailed off, her voice slurry.

“You came and said that we worked. That we made sense together.” Wednesday nodded. She had been hesitant that day, to show her appreciation for Enid, afraid that the girl had merely forgotten something in the room and would promptly be on her way back to Yoko’s.

“Yes.” Enid smiled, her eyes closed as she rested her head against the tile wall. “Do you remember what you did after that?”

Wednesday frowned. Where was Enid going with this? It had been months since she had last thought of the fateful night.

“I went to see Tyler and discovered he was the Hyde as we kissed.” Wednesday remembered a satisfied smile creeping up on her lips.

“You left me alone Wednesday.”

Wednesday’s heart dropped. She didn’t know what to say.

“I came back. I swallowed my pride, and you left.”

“I thought you wanted me to. You told me he was working the late shift.” Wednesday frowned, confused. Something was terribly wrong. Enid was hurt. No, she had hurt Enid.

“I was a fool. I guess I wanted to see if you’d stay with me or go with him. I don’t know why I did it to myself when I knew very well that” Enid paused. Wednesday turned towards her. A small tear had escaped the girl’s eye, and was pearling down her cheek.

“You matter to me more than Tyler ever did.” Wednesday affirmed, alarm bells roaring in her chest.

“I’ll never be a boy.” Enid muttered the end of the sentence to herself, barely loud enough for Wednesday to hear.

“Even then you mattered more to me.”

“Then why did you leave me?”

Wednesday didn’t know what to say. Enid’s words had knocked the wind out of her chest. It was too late for her to go back in time. It was impossible for her to rectify what had happened.

“I’m going to sleep.” Enid stood up, unsteady on her feet. Her legs trembled beneath her, and her face was paler than Wednesday had ever seen. Somehow, with slow, uncertain steps, she made her way to the edge of the bed and let herself fall onto it.

“I’ll sit by your side. I need to make sure you sleep on your side all night.” Wednesday whispered as she sat on the floor, leaning her head against the girl’s mattress. She wanted to tell Enid that Tyler didn’t matter. That she would’ve done anything for her. That she’d kill for her if needed. It was the truth. Wednesday’s feelings for Enid surpassed the realm of the comprehensible. Enid was like a meteor that had crashed into Wednesday’s life, changing her understanding of the world.

“I know I was wrong Enid. I know.” Her chin trembled as she spoke in the dark, unsure of whether her roommate was already asleep or not. “I won’t let you down.” Was all she could utter, the feelings stirring her heart too strong, too bright to be reduced to mere words.

“You already did.”

Chapter Text

Enid woke up with a headache so powerful she seriously wondered whether or not she had lost sight. It had been a night without nightmares, and a night without dreams. She interrogated the ceiling, begging for answers as to what had happened the previous night, bits and pieces coming back to her in a disjointed parade. She had thrown up. Her Ghost had bailed on her. She had said… something? And Wednesday had… replied something? They had danced. They had had so much fun. Still her heart felt heavy.

She turned her head only to discover Wednesday’s side of the room empty. Was it so late the girl had left for her habitual walk? Her question was answered as soon as she sat up. Wednesday was on the floor by the side of her bed, still asleep with the top of her back pressed against Enid’s mattress and her hands crossed on her lap.

Enid took time to study the girl before nausea forced her to sit back down. Her braids were undone, and she had ditched the Doll Dress Enid last remembered her wearing for a matching black pyjama set and a pair of slippers. She closed her eyes, still too nauseous to wake up. Everything would hopefully make more sense with a couple of hours of extra hours of sleep.

_________________

“You haven’t eaten your lunch yet.” Wednesday remarked, holding a tray with a hot dinner in her hands.

“I’m not hungry.” Enid replied from under her covers, her eyes fixated on the wall as she refused to face Wednesday. Hours had passed since she had awakened again, yet she hadn’t found the strength to get up yet. It was dark out again, which meant very little at that time of the year. Enid had no idea whether it was four or ten in the afternoon.

“I’ll bring this back down.” Wednesday ventured into Enid’s side of the room before swapping the lunch trays, leaving the room without a word.

Enid took out the parchment from the pocket of her dress. She really needed to take a shower and change. It was just so difficult when her bedsheets swallowed everything they touched.

Nothing.

Not one word from Ghost.

Enid suppressed a scream of rage. Had Ghost seen her and decided she didn't want to meet? There was no way. She had stayed firmly behind a corner, invisible for anyone in the Quad, or anyone coming out of the Rave’N dancefloor. She had so many questions. But again, if there was one thing Enid was done with, it was begging for love. She wouldn’t reduce herself that way again.

_______________

“Enid.”

“What?” Enid groaned. She had wrapped herself completely under the covers, her head included.

“You need to move.”

“Leave me alone.”

“You haven't left your bed in over 24 hours. You need to at least go pee.”

“I don’t need to pee.”

“Please.” Wednesday muttered. It was a difficult word for her, but desperate times called for desperate measures. “It’s past midnight. It’s Sunday already.”

“Werewolves have abnormally large bladders, did they never tell you that?”

Wednesday ventured into Enid’s side of the room. The untouched dinner sat cold on the desk. She opened Enid’s closet, her hands trembling against the handles. It felt so wrong to intrude the girl’s space, but she had been given no choice. If Enid minded, she hadn’t said so from the bottom of her blanket shell. Her eyes wandered on the shelves of neatly folded sweaters, looking for the softest fabric she could find. Enid’s scent coated every piece of clothing. Intoxicating, sweet, stronger than Wednesday had ever smelled it. Her heart skipped a beat.

She had disappointed Enid. For all she knew, she was the cause of this. No. Something else had happened. She knew it. Their drift was inexplicable, but it was only part of what bothered Enid. Or perhaps she only told herself that to not die of shame.

Her hands landed on a pink and orange knitted sweater. Enid had worn it during one of their first arguments. It all seemed so inconsequential now. Why had she been so harsh? Who cared if Enid liked texting her friends at all hours of the day? Enid didn’t even really talk to her friends anymore, and that was way worse.

“Please just go to the bathroom. I’ve picked some clothes out for you. You don’t even have to shower if you don’t feel like it.”

Enid finally sat up, her eyes throwing daggers at Wednesday. She sighed before grabbing the clothes away from Wednesday’s hands.

“Happy?” She waved the sweater above her head before slamming the door of the bathroom behind her.

Wednesday ignored the jab in her chest. She didn’t deserve to be hurt. Not when she had hurt her so much.

Dahlia had almost completely faded to the back of her mind. She hadn’t messaged her yet to inquire about their failed meeting, but Wednesday could only take care of one person, and she’d always choose Enid. It had always been Enid. Dahlia would have to wait.

To her greatest surprise, the shower started running. This meant that Wednesday had the time to enact the second art of her plan. She needed to act fast. With light steps, she headed back to Enid’s closet and grabbed a fresh set of bedsheets. She held her breath before unloading every rainbow stuffed animal off of Enid’s bed one by one, stripping her bed of everything until the mattress laid bare.

Wednesday frowned. A piece of parchment, the piece of parchment she knew all too well had slipped out of one of the pillow cases. Enid had claimed she didn’t care for the assignment, yet held the paper so close to her. Whatever secrets Enid chose to keep were her business after all. Wednesday wasn’t entitled to any of it. She swapped the cases and put the paper back, hoping Enid wouldn’t be too upset.

The shower stopped running as Wednesday finished up placing the stuffies back. She put down the last unicorn before turning off the lights and sprinting back to her own bed, laying under her blanket, her heart beating out of her chest.

Enid would be angry at her, but she’d be angry at her in a clean bed.

A sliver of light came out of the bathroom and illuminated Wednesday’s face. She closed her eyes, pretending to be asleep. Enid walked to her bed without a word. She sighed, still standing up.

“How often am I supposed to water the snowdrop?” She whispered.

“Once a week. They prefer less water over too much water. Ideally they need to bask in the sun for a bit everyday.” Wednesday could barely breathe. Being addressed to by Enid had become so rare it felt like being struck by lightning every time.

“Does that mean I should bring it on walks?”

“I would recommend that.” Wednesday replied. She bit the inside of her cheek. Enid hadn’t replied anything but Wednesday wasn’t done talking. “I saw another snowdrop today. Do you think I should bring it in? So they have each other?”

“That could be a good idea. Can they be in the same pot, or will one of them drain the life out of the other?”

“They can be together.”

“Right.” Enid slid into her bed. If she hadn’t noticed the change of sheets yet, she certainly had now. Wednesday waited, anxious, but Enid didn’t bring it up.

Wednesday closed her eyes tighter. She needed to breathe. Whatever this uncomfortable feeling was, she wanted to be rid of it. Tears were almost coming out. No. She needed to keep her eyes shut. Keep her eyes shut and believe that everything is going to be okay. She had disappointed Enid and that was okay. She’d do better. Enid would forgive her, right? Enid would. Enid always forgave. But this wasn’t the same Enid. This Enid was tired of being patient. This Enid was tired of being Understanding. This Enid was–

“Wednesday?” A whisper came from the other side of the room. “I can hear your heartbeat from over here.”

“I’m fine.” She tried her best to sound fine.

Stupid werewolf powers.

“What happened after the Rave’N?”

The question that had plagued Wednesday all day had finally been answered. Enid didn’t remember. Now came Wednesday’s test. Would she manage to be honest? Would she tell Enid everything that had gone down, or save them both the embarrassment?

“You were really drunk. You threw up.” Wednesday paused. The words were stuck in her throat, and they hurt. “You told me about the night you came back, after our fight. The night I left you and went to see Tyler. I promised to not disappoint you despite my numerous failures, but you told me I had already disappointed you.” She spit out in one piece. It was a little easier to breathe now. Though with this relief in pressure came tears she couldn’t control. Would Enid’s werewolf senses pick up on them?

The words hung low in the room, unanswered.

“I’m sorry.” Enid sighed. “I’m sorry I dumped all of that on you and made you cry.”

“You don’t need to apologise for anything. I’ve been a bad friend. I realise that now.”

“I haven’t been good either.” Enid replied, and Wednesday couldn’t help but notice the absence of the word friend in her reply. Did Enid not consider her a friend anymore? Did she just believe she hadn’t been good, in general? Wednesday didn’t know how to feel.

“Yesterday night. I also said I didn’t care about Tyler. I said that you matter more to me.”

Enid didn’t reply. Instead she walked towards Wednesday, who shuddered at each step that brought them closer. She wiped her tears away quickly.

“I’m really fucked up right now Wens.” The girl stood at the edge of Wednesday’s bed, tears pearling down her cheek. “I know I’ve been mean. I hate it. I can’t promise you much. I’m trying.”

“I know. You’re doing a good job.” Wednesday nodded in the dark, encouraging, tears pooled in her eyes again already.

“I’m not. I’m really not.”

“It’s okay Enid, I’m not upset.”

“Can I come here? I know I won’t get up tomorrow either if I sleep in my own bed. I can’t. I-

Wednesday didn’t fill in the silence of Enid’s sobs.

“I don’t want you to bring it up tomorrow. I don’t want you to ever bring this up actually. But I really need you to look after me just for tonight. I just need to not be alone.”

“I can do that.” Wednesday removed the blankets on the side of her bed, inviting Enid in.

Enid slid under the covers next to Wednesday, her back turned towards her. They laid in silence, their bodies pressed against each other. Wednesday stared at the ceiling, her body as stiff as a corpse.

“Will you hold me if you promise to forget everything tomorrow?”

“I promise.” Wednesday whispered back, before finally turning towards Enid. She wrapped her arm around the girl before slowly pulling her in. Enid didn’t resist.

Breathe. She needed to breathe. A thousand little fires had lit up all over her body, leaving her burning everywhere. She could do this. For Enid, she’d do anything.

“It’s okay. My heart is beating fast too.” Enid’s hand rested on hers before lightly squeezing it. Wednesday didn’t move away.

________________

“Dear Dahlia,”

Wednesday scratched the back of her head, embarrassed by what was about to unfold. Enid was still laying in her bed, sleeping. Wednesday blushed. She had awoken hugging the girl so closely to her body she worried she’d combust on the spot. Enid had held tightly onto her in her sleep, making it extremely difficult for Wednesday to get up without waking her up. She was glad she had awoken first, saving them both an embarrassing episode.

With Enid safe and sound, she finally had time to make things right with her flower girl.

“Dear Dahlia,

I apologize for not writing to you sooner. I wish I could tell you what happened, but I fear you’ll have to trust that my absence had nothing to do with you. What happened to you? I was looking forward to meeting up with you before other matters took me away.”

_____________________

“Dear Ghost.

I will say it has not been fun to be stood up. I will forgive your absence because quite frankly, my life has been really weird too since the Rave’N. I guess something was in the air that night. I came. I was at the Quad, but then I saw someone whose name I can’t write and I knew it couldn’t be you. I decided to hide instead because I did not want her to make fun of me.”

Enid bit her pen. She had so much homework left to do, but just couldn’t bring herself to look into any of it. Sat in the deepest corner of the library, she could only hope her Ghost would be available at the same time as her. Things between her and Wednesday had been awkward, only Enid had to admit that the uneasy tension between them was entirely created by her. Wednesday had been normal. Just like promised, she hadn’t brought her horrendous display of emotions up, and had instead just proposed she tag along to her walk, just as she did everyday. Enid had declined, just as she also did everyday.

Enid shuddered at the memory of her and Wednesday lying in bed together. She had never imagined the girl to be particularly warm, yet she had slept better than she had in weeks when wrapped in Wednesday’s arms. A blush crept up underneath her freckles, but she chased the wandering thoughts away immediately as a reply appeared on her parchment.

“Dear Dahlia,

Would you happen to talk about the self proclaimed fencing queen?”

Enid frowned. It was true that Wednesday had a rather pretentious approach to fencing. It had taken her weeks to even register that Enid was even part of the fencing club as well.

“Wait, please don’t tell me you were there too. Also, she is a bit pretentious about fencing. I'll give you that. But she can be nice, once you get to know her. She is the reason I hid instead of showing myself.”

___________________

Wednesday stared back at her parchment wide eyed. Dahlia had been there when Bianca had arrived? She hadn’t been stood up just for being herself? Her heart was about to beat out of her chest.

“I was there too. I also knew she couldn’t be you for obvious reasons. I ended up just leaving as well because of her. I need to ask. Did you see me? When she was there I mean, did you see me too?”

“I didn’t. It was definitely just her.”

“It’s crazy to believe we were so close to meeting.”

“I know right? But I need to admit I am now glad that we didn’t. My self esteem is at an all time low and I don’t think I could’ve handled our meeting being anything short of perfect haha.”

Wednesday frowned. Dahlia often talked about herself in a derogatory way she didn’t appreciate at all. She needed to make it clear she did not in any way endorse what was being said.

“Dahlia, I know you have been hurt by the one you loved. Sometimes I wish I could find out who that boy is and break his heart with a stake, impaling him in the process. I mean that. I want you to know that there are very few people in this school I believe to be as smart and kind as you. I am not one of many words, yet you enticed me the second we met.

You have a way with words that I could only ever dream of, and offer valuable insight into matters you know little about. It is a proof of intelligence I feel the need to praise. I am very aware of my shortcomings, so when I see you excel so effortlessly at things I still struggle with, formulate thoughts I can’t yet wrap my head around, all I can do is stare at my parchment in awe. I have full reason to believe that that awe would be translated into real life if one day you decided to meet me.”

Wednesday blushed. She could hardly believe that she had written the words herself. That was Dahlia’s power, she dug up feelings in Wednesday that had been buried so deep, only one person had ever come close to unearthing them before. She had always thought Tyler had been the one to crack her hard shell. But the more time she spent with Dahlia, the harder it became to ignore the truth. It had started as a simmer, and now boiled beneath her skin.

“It was a girl, not a boy.”

“What?”

According to the rules of the parchment assignment, Dahlia couldn’t be a psychic. This couldn’t be real.

“I was in love with a girl.”

Wednesday’s breath got caught in her throat. Her fingers clenched around the edge of the desk. “Enid,” she whispered, the name dancing on her lips. It hadn't beenTyler who had slipped past her defences. It had been her.

And somehow, it had taken a stranger on a piece of paper for her to realize it.

Chapter Text

“I was in love with a girl.”

“I see”

“What is that supposed to mean?”

“I understand why you are so heartbroken. I’ve had very few matters of the heart myself, but I’ve found it much more difficult to recover when my feud was with a girl.”

“You’re a lesbian too?”

“I’ve never put much thought to it before.”

“You know, it’s the first time I’ve even written the word down. I could never bring myself to say it outloud.”

“Lesbian?”

“Yes. I’m even regretting it now.”

“Why would you regret it?”

“It’s scary.”

“It’s not a bad thing.”

“For most people it is.”

“Not for me. Never.”

_______________________

“I’ll go on a walk with you today.” Enid got out of her bed.

“Really?” Wednesday arched her eyebrow. She had only started going on walks with the hope that even for one day, Enid might tag along. The time had come, and Wednesday struggled to keep her composure.

“I think my snowdrop is lonely. I’ll bring her to get some sun and maybe we’ll find her a friend.”

“Alright.” Wednesday nodded, turning around before Enid could see the blush creep up from underneath her freckles. Had Enid always looked this beautiful? Wednesday had almost forgotten how breathtaking her perfect smile was. The way she tucked her silver hair behind her ears. She had even put on butterfly clips today. Something had happened that had cheered her up. Wednesday’s stomach dropped. Could it be that she had gotten back with Ajax? He had always been much too ordinary for Enid, but the thought of them kissing made her almost want to hit something. No. It made her want to cry?

“Wednesday?” Enid grabbed her away from the spiral that formed in her mind.

“Yes?”

“Your heart is beating really fast.”

“Have you always been able to hear my heart rate? Even before you wolfed out?”

“Oh yes. It used to freak me out so bad because sometimes I’d think you died in your sleep from how quiet it was.”

“Good.” Wednesday suppressed a smile. Enid always knew how to compliment her.

They didn’t talk much as they combed through the grounds of the Nevermore. Comfortable silence had always been Wednesday’s favourite thing. She knew Enid was not a fan of the concept, but had eventually accepted it as part of their friendship.

“You’re in a good mood today.” Wednesday forced out of her throat. Why was she the one always talking to Enid these days? It was embarrassing, honestly, how many times she had said the girl’s name since the semester had started.

“I guess I am.” Enid sighed as she squinted. For the first time in a while, a few rays of sun decided to bless them with their presence.

“Did something happen?”

“It’s just finally a bit nicer outside. Though I’m not fooling myself. I know they’re predicting for it to snow soon. I guess I’m just soaking it in before it’s over.”

“Right.” Wednesday nodded. Enid had lied. Or at least, she hadn’t told the full truth. There was something else. If Enid’s wolf powers could tell her heartbeat, then her psychic powers had blessed her with an above average intuition. Truthfully, Wednesday had always been good at reading people’s emotions, she just hadn’t cared about them enough to take them into consideration.

“I’ve just made a new friend. It’s been nice talking with her. I know you hate small talk and feelings talk, just any kind of talking, really. So I’m glad I have her. I won’t have to bother you with that anymore.”

“I’m glad you made a new friend.”

Wednesday bit the inside of her cheek, tightening her grip around the small shovel she had brought out with her. Breathe. She needed to breathe and focus on her heartbeat. Enid could never know how that small sentence had just made her feel, how her throat had tightened and her knees had almost given up on her.

Wednesday had never been in love. Not before this. She had been a sleeping agent, waiting for someone to snap their fingers at her face and wake her up from the haze. Dahlia had just done that. A girl. Wednesday could love a girl. The second her eyes had left the last word of that sentence, her feelings had erupted like an opened, uncontrolled fire hydrant. How agonising it was, how alive she felt.

“Look!” Enid pointed at the ground. A purple snow drop, slightly smaller than the one Wednesday had found for Enid had just opened. “This one is perfect.”

“Let’s hope the ground is not too hard.” Wednesday kneeled by Enid’s side, and felt the ground with the tip of her shovel.

“I’ll make space for it in my pot.” Enid started digging, dirt getting under fingernails.

Wednesday couldn’t stop staring as Enid hummed, a satisfied smile creeping up in the corners of her mouth. Nothing she had done for Enid had ever gotten the girl in this state. Her heart sank. Why couldn’t she just be better at talking? Why was it so hard for her to word out the feelings spelled out so clearly behind her lips? No. Enid had a new friend, and that was good. Enid had found someone that made her feel better, and that was good. Even if it wasn’t Wednesday.

“Here you go.” Wednesday handed the small purple snowdrow to Enid. Her chest was torn open when their fingers brushed, and Enid held the flower with such care, and stared at it with such gentleness that Wednesday could help but blush.

Everything Enid touched was golden. Enid was warmth, and love, and kindness, so much so that Wednesday suddenly felt small in the shadow of it. Small and cruel. She had hurt Enid before, pushed her away when she didn’t deserve it. And now, watching her cradle a simple flower like it was something precious, Wednesday wished, selfishly, that Enid would look at her like that instead.

“Don’t they look so cute? They’re potmates now.” Enid held out her pot, which now harbored the bright white snow drop and the more fragile, purple snowdrop next to it.

“Are you sure you don’t want to look for another one? This one doesn’t look good enough to be next to your first one.” Wednesday’s shoulders sank.

“I won’t allow you Wednesday Addams. She is beautiful and I will love her just the same!”

“Of course you would.”

_____________________

“Enid.”

“Don’t tell me you’re not asleep.” Enid sniffled.

She had tried today. She really had. It had been nice to go outside, as much as she hated to admit it.

Then came the night, and with it the emptiness.

Ghost had made an excuse earlier that day, and hadn’t been able to honour their meeting. Wednesday had been gone during her habitual writing hour too, leaving Enid alone in the room.

She had decided it had been time to clean her side of the room, which had gotten embarrassingly messy. Half of her wardrobe had still been in her suitcase, which she had never found the strength to fully unpack. But Enid had been determined to have a good day. A good, healthy day. So she unpacked.

Then her fingers had landed on her old diary.

The diary that had started everything.

The diary that had so many entries about Wednesday it was practically entirely tainted in black.

The diary her mother had read without her permission over Christmas break.

The diary that had caused her to move out as she refused to be kicked out of her own pack. She had left with dignity, and she had at least that going on for herself.

The diary that had caused her to spend Christmas alone at nevermore.

Her fingers had trailed every inch of ink as if she discovered her feelings for the very first time. Wednesday was everywhere. Her name written in the margins of pages where she wasn’t brought up in.

Wednesday. Wednesday. Wednesday. What a pretty name for a pretty girl, she had thought back then.

The turmoil of her heart was there for anyone who would read through the pages. First the annoyance, the frustration. Then the intense desire to befriend her. Finally, the realisation. The daunting realisation.

How stupid she had been to leave it on her bed. Well, on her previous bed. She was never going back into that house. She wasn’t welcome.

“I don’t know what to do.” Wednesday whispered from the other side of the room. “What can I do?”

“You can just ignore that this is happening and save me the embarrassment.” Enid replied as she wiped away the tears on her eyelashes.

Quiet.

“I don’t want to do that.”

“I’m sorry I’ve been crying so much.”

“It’s okay. I’ve cried too.”

Quiet.

Enid was stunned.

“I thought the last time you cried was when Nero died.”

“You remember his name.”

“Of course I do. I remember everything.”

Quiet.

“I’ve cried more recently.”

“Really?”

“I cried when Thing got stabbed.”

“That’s a very valid reason to cry. Nothing like what I’m doing now.”

Enid tried to divert. It was weird, to be the one deflecting an emotionally charged conversation with Wednesday. The dark of their room, and the distance between their beds had granted them a layer of protection that allowed them to be more vulnerable. From opposite sides of the room, their whispers were less heavy, less real. It barely felt like she talked to the Wednesday she knew.

“I don’t know why you’re crying now, but I’d assume it is valid.”

Quiet.

When had Enid gotten this bad talking?

“I also cried that night.”

“Really?” Enid didn’t have to ask what night. They knew. The night Tyler had almost killed them both. The night they had hugged.

“Yes. I was running towards the Quad, and I left you behind with Tyler. I knew I had to go fight crackstone. My fate had been written too long ago for me to be able to change it. I realised you could die. I realised that could’ve been the last time I’d ever see you.”

“And you cried?”

“Tears came out. I couldn’t control them.”

“I’m okay. I survived.”

“You survived.” Wednesday whispered, more to herself than to Enid.

Quiet.

“Wednesday?”

“Yes.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Why are you sorry?”

“I know I’ve been hard to deal with.”

“You haven’t been.”

“I’m sorry.”

“You don’t need to say sorry.”

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay.”

Quiet.

“Enid?”

“Yes?”

“I like talking to you.”

“What?”

“Earlier.” Wednesday gulped. Enid could hear the girl’s heartbeat getting faster and faster. “You said that you wouldn’t bother me with small talk anymore because of your new friend.”

“Yes.”

“I like small talk.” The words clawed their way out of Wednesday’s lips. “I like it if it’s with you.”

“It’s weird”. Enid replied softly. She had only now realised she had stopped crying. “It’s easier to talk like this, isn’t it? In our beds, in the dark.”

“It is. It almost feels like a secret. Like the Enid and Wednesday from the daytime don’t have to know about what you and I say now.”

“They don’t. We don’t have to tell them.” Enid whispered. She couldn’t tell whether it was hers, or Wednesday’s heartbeat banging in her ears anymore.

Wednesday was different when the stars winking at them through their shared window were their only witnesses. She was gentler, more vulnerable. She was a Wednesday that didn’t make fun of her texting, or roll her eyes when she brought home yet another stuffie. She was a Wednesday that changed her bedsheets. A Wednesday that stayed with her by the toilet when she threw up. A Wednesday that held her tight while they slept against each other, their legs intertwined in a way that terrified Enid. A Wednesday Enid could convince herself was a perfectly fabricated dream when she awoke in the cold room the next morning.

Enid wasn’t sure if she was a Dahlia, like Ghost had once said, or a snowdrop, like Wednesday had whispered on the night of the Rave’N. But of one thing she was certain in her mind, clear as springwater on a summer day.

Wednesday was a Moonflower.

_________________

“Dear Dahlia,

Do you believe other people talk with their parchment as much as we do?”

“I think I got really lucky being paired with you. I don’t know if they talk as much as us, or more, but I know none of their conversations come close to the ones we have. I was in the library today, and found a poem that made me think of you. I wish I could tell you that I wrote it, but that would be a lie.”

“What poem is it?” Wednesday’s heart skipped a beat.

Dahlia had essentially become her best friend. Their conversations had gone from scheduled during her writing time to happening every second Wednesday was on her own, away from prying eyes.

Her conversations with the girl were essential to her daily routine. Wednesday had gone from an eventful, murderous fall semester to the dullness of uninterrupted schoolwork during a particularly grey winter. Tyler was gone. Xavier was gone. Thing was still at the Addams Manor, recovering from his impalement. Enid was… Not the same anymore.

Enid had always been her best friend, because she was the only friend Wednesday had ever had. That made her her best friend by any reasonable ranking system. But she had hurt Enid, and caused her to pull away to a depth even she couldn’t reach. Asking Enid whether they were even still friends was so terrifying Wednesday couldn’t dare to call her her best friend.

Truly, she needed Dahlia. She needed someone. Someone she wouldn’t be able to hurt with her deadpan face and lack of tact. Writing to the girl allowed her to think about her words, to express herself in a way that her heavy lips simply didn’t allow her to have in person. Dahlia wouldn’t be disappointed if Wednesday didn’t smile at her jokes. Dahlia would know Wednesday appreciated them because the only cue she had was the trail of ink on her parchment, the truest version of Wednesday’s heart anyone had ever seen.

“The poem is quite sad. I tried to memorize it entirely but it was too long. I don’t know if you’ll like it. It’s a bit gloomy. It’s about a ghost who comes to visit her loved one in the mortal world. Since you’re my Ghost it made me think of you.”

“I’d love to hear what you remember of it.”

“Oh whence do you come, my dear friend, to me,
With your golden hair all fallen below your knee,
And your face as white as snowdrops on the lea,
And your voice as hollow as the hollow sea?’

‘From the other world I come back to you:
My locks are uncurled with dripping drenching dew,
You know the old, whilst I know the new:
But to-morrow you shall know this too.’

‘Oh not to-morrow into the dark, I pray;
Oh not to-morrow, too soon to go away:
Here I feel warm and well-content and gay:
Give me another year, another day.’

‘Am I so changed in a day and a night
That mine own only love shrinks from me with fright,
Is fain to turn away to left or right
And cover up her eyes from the sight?’

I don’t remember what came after that.”

Wednesday stared at her parchment, amused. If she was the ghost in Dahlia’s life, then she perhaps needed to tell her that she certainly didn’t have “golden hair falling below her knees”. She reached for her notebook nonetheless, and wrote the poem down with a quill. She needed to be fast and engrave it before it would disappear from the ephemeral parchment.

Wednesday was lonely. Lonelier than she had realized. Her heart pounded at the thought of having been thought of. Dahlia had even memorized a poem for her.

“I love it.” Wednesday wrote back at last, her gaze flickering as she watched helplessly while Dahlia’s poem faded into nothing.

“I’m glad. A part of me knew you would. I guess we’re starting to know each other quite well. It’s been what, a month already?”

“Yes.”

“And still no snow! Perhaps luck was on my side and I was assigned a psychic who could make my year without winter wish come true.”

“If only. Unfortunately I can’t take the credit for that.”

“You’re still the one making any of this bearable for me.”

“So are you.”

“Don’t tell me the Winter Blues have gotten to you too! There can’t be three of us.”

“They haven’t. I quite like the temporary death of everything around me—

Scratch that.

Wednesday couldn’t possibly send such an incriminating message to Dahlia. She was quite famous in the school, to her greatest dismay. It wouldn’t take a genius to figure out her identity if she wasn’t careful. And Dahlia was smart. Really smart.

“They haven’t.”

“Good. Your friend and I need you.”

“I need you both too.”

“Is she there for you too?”

“She’s doing a great job at keeping herself alive. That’s all I can ask.”

“Wow she’s doing that terribly?”

“To the casual observer, she might not seem to be struggling. I, however, have seen how she used to be. I know how bright she used to glow.”

“And how did she glow?”

“Brighter than the heart of a star.”

_______________________________

“Enid you can’t skip class again. You’re going to get into serious trouble.”

“I’m going to be fine.” Enid groaned at Wednesday.

Enid couldn’t tell her roommate that the principal was the only person aware of what had entailed that Christmas break. She had ordered teachers to submit Enid with a written copy of the class notes should Enid not be able to attend for any reason. Truth was, the Headmaster pitied her, and Enid was too weak to refuse the help.

Telling Wednesday she had a semester-long get out of jail card would mean having to tell her why she had been granted such privilege, and Enid couldn’t do that. She just couldn’t.

“No.”

“Let me sleep.” Enid implored, covering her ears with her hands.

“Enid.” Wednesday paused. Enid could tell the girl had ventured past the duct tape marking the end of Wednesday’s side of the room and the beginning of hers. “If you don’t get up now I will strip you of your covers and throw them out the balcony. You have five minutes.”

“For fuck’s sake Wednesday.” Enid jolted out of her bed, grabbing the first clothes she found in her closet before stomping to the bathroom and slamming the door behind her.

She sat on the toilet bowl and sighed, burying her face in her hands. Today was just one of those days where the pull of gravity was ten times stronger. She just wanted to let the hours pass by. She just wanted to be swallowed by the stillness of the empty room. Perhaps if she didn’t move at all, she’d disappear too.

But no. Wednesday had to go and ruin it for her with her newfound aggressive care. Ghost’s friend was described as glowing brighter than the heart of a star and she had what? “I’m going to throw your blanket out the balcony if you don’t get up and act like a functional human being?” Just her luck.

“I’m sorry.” She called out from the safety of the bathroom. Wednesday had been at the wrong place at the wrong time. Enid exhausted herself. Why couldn’t she just be normal? And there was Wednesday, her unfortunate roommate, witness to her every moodswing, and to whom Enid couldn’t hide that she just couldn’t get her act together for longer than a couple hours at a time. She was a complete and utter mess, and Wednesday knew.

Wednesday knew.

“I’m only going to class when you do today. Don’t make me late.” Wednesday replied.

There it was again. The care, hidden with a layer of disdain and aggressivity. Enid had once believed she was strong enough to be content with it, that she didn’t need to be treated more softly.

“Coming.” She sighed. That was all she’d get. It was more than Wednesday had ever given to anyone else. Enid just needed to go look for someone else if she didn’t like it.

_________________

“Wednesday.” Enid whispered. They were back in their beds. This was nighttime Enid and Wednesday. None of this was real. Not real enough for it to resist the killer morning sunrays at least.

“Yes?”

“I can’t sleep.”

“Me neither.”

“What are you thinking about?”

“You.”

Enid’s heart skipped a beat. She thanked the gods for making her the only Lycan in the room. Wednesday would never know how that simple word had made her feel.

“Me?”

“You worry me.”

Enid sighed. “Sometimes I worry me too.”

“Did I do this to you?” Wednesday’s whisper cracked. Guilt crept up Enid’s spine. It was one thing to slam doors in Daytime Wednesday’s face, it was another to imagine her small, under her covers, holding onto her blanket.

“You did hurt me. Something else happened over break but I don’t want you to know.”

“Why?”

“Because it’s not your fault but you’d feel bad about it.”

Wednesday could never know about her diary. The diary that had ruined everything. The diary that harbored Wednesday’s name more times than there were Wednesdays in a year.

“I don’t want to hurt you anymore.”

“You’re not hurting me anymore. I just needed a bigger backbone.”

“You didn’t.”

Enid stood up and walked to the edge of Wednesday’s bed. There was no need for words anymore. No need for a question, no need for an answer. No need for either of them to bring up what was happening.

Wednesday moved the blanket to the side, allowing her to slip in. Their bodies found each other naturally. Their foreheads almost pressed against each other, their legs interlocked together under the blankets. Enid’s hand on Wednesday’s waist, bringing her closer to her. Wednesday’s hand slowly raised along her arm until it found the back of her neck, her fingers sliding through the locks of her silver hair.

No one needed to know.

No one needed to remember how lonely they both were, how touch starved the winter left them, desperately searching for warmth in each other’s skin, their breaths mixing between them as they landed on each other’s chest. A secret, a hum, a temporary alliance. It could be anything. It didn’t have a name.

Chapter Text

“Dear Dahlia, how was your day?”

“My day was good, you know, the usual.”

“Getting by until we finally talk?”

“Something like that, yes. I hope that you too, are having a miserable day until I make it better.”

“Thank you, I love having miserable days.”

“You’re funny.”

“Why am I funny?”

“You just are.”

“I don’t think I’ve ever been called funny before.”

“Clearly, nobody knows you like I do then.”

“I guess they don’t.”

“Do you like that?”

“Like what?”

“That I know you. That you are known. You know, Ghost, I may not be able to do it with my eyes, but I see you. I see you.”

“Ominous.”

“More like a promise. You are seen. I like knowing you. I like feeling special, and knowing that not many know you. Not like I do at least.”

“It is true that I have a tendency to only show my vulnerability to Lupus. And you.”

“Your constellation?”

“Yes. Only she knows my weaknesses.”

“You know, I thought about checking out a starmap. Find out where it is in the sky. I ended up deciding against it. She is yours and yours alone. It would feel wrong to know.”

“Your thoughtfulness is touching.”

“That’s because always think of you.”

“Always?”

“Well not always. Sometimes the night swallows me whole. I feel like I have sunk so deep underwater that there is no light. Then I forget you exist. I think of you as my landmark in my field of eternal snow. Unfortunately when there is nothing but an abyss I can’t do that.”

“What do you do then, Dahlia?”

“I cling onto the one who broke my heart. She’s always there, when I’m drowning.”

“You know what I think about that.”

“I know, I know. She just gives me enough to keep me hanging.”

“Worse. You think she’s helping you not sink further below, but she’s just keeping you right underneath the surface so she’s your only landmark. If she didn’t, you’d see that the field of snow was right there. That I’m right there.”

“She’s just. I don’t know how to explain it to you, Ghost. She’s different. Different from the one who left me.”

“Let me guess, this change only started after you pulled away?”

“Yes.”

“Then it barely even counts. You can’t outdo an ocean of wrongs with a couple of rights.”

“I don’t know. I think a part of me still really needs her. I’m embarrassed to tell you this. I think of you all throughout my days. Reaching into my pocket, and feeling the parchment brushing against my fingertips is enough to make my heart flutter. Wherever I go, I know that you are there. Did you notice our uniform vest has an inside pocket right on top of the left side of the chest? I keep you there when I miss you a little more.”

“I don't know what to answer, so I’ll just say this, and I wish for you to never say a word to anybody. I can feel a burning underneath my freckles.”

“You’re blushing?”

“I never used that word.”

“You have freckles?”

“Perhaps.”

“Are you actually volunteering personal information? I never thought I’d live to see the day.”

“Enough people have freckles. This is not tangible evidence in any way.”

“I already imagined you with freckles anyway.”

“You did?”

“Yes. Like dandelion seeds floating in the wind.”

“I like dandelions.”

“You do?”

“They’re majestic, even after their death.”

“What about Dahlias?”

“I like Dahlias more.”

“Would you say Dahlias are your favourite flower?”

“One of them for sure.”

“What are the other ones?”

“That’s a secret”

“So you’ll tell me a literal physical hint as to what you like, but you won’t tell me what your other favourite flowers are?”

“Yes.”

“Why?”

“That’s far more personal. Flowers are a matter of the heart.”

_________________

“What are you doing?” Enid asked. Wednesday had dragged her desk to the middle of the room, stopping right before the legs went over the tape marking the end of her side. Wednesday didn’t answer immediately. She moved her chair too before sitting down.

“I’m about to eat my lunch.”

“Here?”

“Why not?”

“I don’t know.” Enid muttered. It was weird, to see Wednesday sitting while facing straight towards her bed, a knife and fork in hand as she cut through a piece of steak.

“I brought you lunch too.”

“I know.”

No reply. Enid knew what Wednesday had insinuated. That they could both enjoy lunch together. But she wasn’t hungry. The single thought of putting food into her mouth made her want to throw up.

She had almost started resenting Wednesday. How could she resist all of her efforts to push her away? Enid just wanted to be invisible. With Ghost, she got to be funny. With Ghost, she got to be flirty. She could laugh, and she could open up. She could forget her bad days, and forget her terrible nights, and only tell her a partial truth. She was struggling, yes, but she was getting better. It was a narrative she could uphold easily thanks to their means of communication.

Everything was different with Wednesday. Wednesday saw her. Wednesday saw all of her. Whether she liked it or not, Wednesday was there when showering became difficult, or when the bedtime anxiety got so terrible she couldn’t be left alone. No matter how much both of them pretended, a terrible truth loomed over Enid.

Daytime Wednesday and Nighttime Wednesday were the same person. Wednesday remembered. Wednesday was polite, and pretended to forget, but she remembered. The nights where they slept, their bodies pressed against each other. The night where she had emptied her guts in a toilet bowl. The night where she had showered, naked, still in a haze as Wednesday sat behind the curtain. Everything. Wednesday had seen everything.

“What are you doing?” Enid blurted. A little ball of air had formed inside her stomach and risen to her throat. She didn’t know whether she was about to burst into a scream, or a sob, but it wasn’t a knot that had formed into her throat. It was something else. An explosion. The need for something to get out, for something to blow up.

“I’m eating.”

“No. What are you doing?”

“I’m ea-

“Stop!” Enid roared. Wednesday’s eyes widened for a second, before returning back to their original, still shape. “You have to stop.”

“I’m no-

“Stop it. Whatever this is. I can’t do it anymore. I don’t want you to do this anymore.”

Wednesday got up and went to the bathroom without a word. Enid was breathless, her heart beating out of her chest as she heaved. It was a bit easier now that Wednesday was out of sight. The girl came back into the room not a second after with a glass of water in hand as she walked towards the window. Enid watched in horror as she knelt down by her pot and watered her snowdrops.

“You’re doing it again. Just stop! Stop caring about me like this. I can’t take it.” She implored. “Stop being nice.”

“I just.” Wednesday started, but was unable to continue.

Enid hated this, She hated herself. She hated what she was doing. She hated what Wednesday saw, and she hated that she couldn’t stop it.

“Just leave me alone Wednesday.”

“I know it’s been hard for you to socialize with your friends. I wanted you to have someone in case you wanted to eat. Eating as a group is the preferred Lycan way.”

“Okay well I never asked you to do that.” Enid blurted.

There it was. The sentence that had pierced through her heart when it had left Wednesday’s lips a couple of months ago. The sentence that still made her cry when she lingered on it for too long. It was a devastating blow, she knew as she delivered it.

I never asked you to do that

I never asked you to do that

I never asked you to do that.

She was going to throw up.

“That’s what friends do. They care.”

“We aren't even friends, Wednesday!” Enid shot up from her bed and met her roommate in the middle of the room. Wednesday took a step back, visibly shaken by the words that had come out of Enid’s mouth. She stood rigid, tall, abnormally stiff.

“What are we then?” It was a murmur. A whisper so hoarse Enid had barely even heard it with her Lycan hearing.

“I don’t fucking know. I don’t know what we are.” She paced, running her fingers through her hair. She turned her back to Wednesday. She couldn’t look at her anymore. She was almost giggling from how nervous and overwhelmed she was.

“Okay well what am I supposed to do?”

Enid stopped in her tracks. Wednesday’s voice had come out in a much higher pitch than usual. It was imploring, a squeal more than a real sentence.

“What am I supposed to do Enid? Watch you wither away? Watch you slowly die in our room? I’m supposed to hold you in my arms, tight enough because I’m scared you’ll somehow stop breathing, and then forget about it every morning?”

“You were never supposed to see anything! I never wanted you to know.”

“Well we may not be friends according to your standards, but we are roommates.”

“I guess we are.”

“So that’s it? We’re just roommates? That’s what you want us to be?”

If Enid didn’t know better, she’d think tears were welling up in Wednesday’s eyes.

“I want you to stop caring about me so much. Just go back to how you were last semester. Stop being so nice. What happened to the fact that seeing me makes you want to throw up? What happened to making fun of my blog? And my style? To complain about everything I do, the way that I move, that I breathe, and the fact that I smile too much? Why aren’t you bothered by my nauseating taste in music anymore, or the way I decorated my room? Make this easier for the both us, Wednesday, and just go back to being mean.”

Enid hadn’t realised that tears had started falling down her cheeks. The words had rolled out of her like they had been aching to come out. It was a miracle her knees still held her up. Nothing felt real. Nothing mattered. Everything was done.

It was too late for Enid Sinclair, she thought. How close she had come to being something.

“Enid.”

“What?” It came out as a sob.

“I’m sorry.” Wednesday took a step forward. As always, the expression on her face was impossible to read.

“Stop.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Get away from me.” Enid implored, her shoulders shaking as she cried. Why weren’t her legs cooperating? Why couldn’t she move?

“I’m sorry.”

“Please.” One more step and Wednesday would stand right in front of her. She still couldn’t move.

“I’m so sorry.”

Wednesday caught her right as her knees gave out. She couldn’t stop crying, to the point her chest hiccuped, and her wails were impossible to channel in. She was on the floor, her body resting against Wednesday as the girl held her. Her face buried itself in the crook of Wednesday’s neck, instinctively searching for warmth.

“I got you.” Wednesday whispered. She was so close. “I’m not leaving you. No matter what you do. I’m staying right here.”

_______________________________

“Dear Dahlia, how was your day?”

“My day was good. How was yours?” Enid sighed as she stared at her parchment. It felt nice to see the words in front of her, no matter how fake they were. Ghost didn’t have to know. In fact, Ghost would never know how pathetic she truly was, unlike Wednesday, the eternal witness of her catastrophic life.

They weren’t really on speaking terms since what had ensued the previous day. Wednesday hadn’t come up for lunch, or offered her to go on a walk. A tray of food still waited by her bedside, just like it did everyday, but Enid hadn’t noticed Wednesday deliver it. Her heart filled with guilt and shame, but she cast it aside. Ghost would never have to know.

Ghost would never have to know.

Right?

“I tried looking for Lupus yesterday night but the clouds wouldn’t have it.”

“Did you need her?”

“I did.”

“I’m here now.” This was the least she could do. Rectifying her wrongs with a right didn’t count if it wasn’t to the same person, but it would make her feel better. There she was, selfish, again. How could she even stand herself?

“I am having a difficult time. It’s not the weather.”

“You can tell me anything, Ghost. Usually you are the one who tends to my emotional needs. I am more than happy to give back to you. I promise to not judge you in any way.”

“I cried all night.”

“That’s okay, it happens.”

“I’ve never cried like that. My roommate slept through the night and I just. My chest hurt. Physically. I couldn’t stop but I had to be quiet. I had to be so quiet for her to not hear me. I was really worried she’d hear me.”

“Why were you worried? It’s normal to cry. You shouldn’t feel ashamed. Everybody cries.”

“I felt so small. So stupid. So sad. I usually don’t feel sad. It always sounded like such a small feeling to me. Rage, depression, terror, they’re strong. Sadness is different.”

“It is.”

“My heart slowly filled up like a looming tide. Before I knew it, before I could even really feel it, the sadness had covered me completely. I am so alone, Dahlia. I guess you are my best friend. My only friend. I don’t have anybody else right now. I didn’t even know I needed someone until everything was gone. It’s all my fault. The worst part is, I never even realized what I had done. I’m so ashamed. Will you still be my friend? I know the offer probably doesn't sound very appealing.”

“Of course I am still your friend.”

“Really?”

“I wish I could’ve been there, with you, yesterday night, as you cried alone.”

“I don’t want you to see me cry.”

“I would’ve done everything to make you stop crying then. I would’ve woken up. I wouldn’t have slept through the night.”

“I didn’t think I’d be having such a hard time this semester. I love winter.”

I love you, Enid thought. Only for a second though. She didn’t write it down. The thought left her mind the second it had been formulated.

________________________

She didn’t mean it. She’s being self destructive. She’s hurting so she’s being self destructive. She doesn't hate you. She doesn’t actually want you to be mean.

How could you have been so mean?

It was an infinite, repetitive wheel of thoughts that turned inside Wednesday’s brain.

It had been a week since she had spoken to Enid.

A week since she had spoken out loud at all.

How had her circle gone back to being so small?

How could she have ever lived this way?

She didn’t mean it. She’s being self destructive. She’s hurting so she’s being self destructive. She doesn't hate you. She doesn’t actually want you to be mean.

How could you have been so mean?

Dahlia had been her lifeline. Dahlia had been what had kept her afloat. She hadn’t told her yet, but she had become her landmark too. How strange it was, to realise she was following the advice she had once given to someone in struggle.

Don’t look down into the abyss. Find a landmark.

She needed to breathe. She needed to carry on. Wednesday always carried on, no matter what. It was strange, to live with someone and not speak to them. It was even stranger when both needed the comfort of their room because they had been hurt by each other, but had no privacy.

Wednesday had started to test her perception of time again. One hour. Two hours. She’d close her eyes, lay in her bed, and focus on the seconds slipping by. No thoughts. No Enid. Just the ticking of her internal clock as she counted and counted and counted. She never lost track of how many times she had counted up to sixty, rarely more than a few minutes off when she finally opened her eyes.

She had been hurt. She didn’t deserve to feel that way, but she did. They said time healed all wounds, but all Wednesday felt was momentary relief as her brain focused on the seconds. How could time possibly heal? Wednesday didn’t understand. Enid was right. Everything would be easier if she just went back to how she was. But Wednesday had changed, and the new Wednesday wouldn’t. The new Wednesday would never.

Her body moved by reflex. It was time for her walk. There were many things she had let go of, but her walk was something she refused to abandon. No matter how her stupid, recently malfunctioning heart felt, she’d go on her walk.

Enid got up too.

They didn’t say a word. Not when they reached the outside, or when they ventured into the woods, Wednesday’s habitual path. Enid had never come that far the last, and only two times she had joined in. It was colder than it had been those days, Wednesday remarked to herself. It was also darker, the clouds were particularly thick.

Enid walked with her. The sleeves of their coats sometimes brushed against each other. At one point, Enid slipped while stepping on a root and held onto Wednesday’s arm for just a second. They resumed their walk, still in silence. It was useless for Wednesday to pretend she didn’t falter every time they accidentally made contact. Enid would know. Enid could hear her heart.

___________________

Enid came on the walks everyday. They still didn’t say a word to each other. They had slipped into a comfortable routine. Wednesday would bing Enid’s food up. They’d walk together. Daytime and Nighttime Wednesday and Enid had taken a break, instead replaced by their ghosts.

They were too much for each other, yet an invisible string tied them together, pulling painfully on them if they spent too long apart. They both knew.

So much had been said. So much had been felt.

Silent walks. Everything had been said. There was no going back. Not to who they were before the fight at least.

It was mid February, and they had been over a mile away from the Nevermore campgrounds when the sky had broken. The droplets had fallen out of the cloud all at once, soaking them to the bone in the matter of a few seconds. They stared at each other in disbelief, their eyes wide open as they realized they had no hope of outrunning the storm.

For a moment, neither of them moved. A lightning bolt struck the ground, followed by the banging of the thunder a mere second after.

“Run!” Wednesday screamed, not realising she had broken their silence for the first time in weeks.

She didn’t exactly know when they had left the woods, or when Enid’s hand had fallen into hers.

The girl ran so much faster than her, but had refused to leave her behind, instead pulling her forwards with force. They ran until their lungs gave out and their bodies crashed against the cold grey stones of the Nevermore castle.

Resting their backs against the wall, still in disbelief as to what had just happened, they watched as the heavy rain turned into hail.

Enid laughed.

Wednesday turned her head towards her, surprised. She was still struggling to catch her breath, and couldn’t possibly fathom laughing. But Enid’s laugh grew louder and louder, inebriated by the ridiculous situation. They were absolutely drenched, still holding hands as hell broke loose around them, the only two idiots still outside, soaked to the skin and breathless with disbelief.

Enid was so beautiful.

She let go of Wednesday’s hand to immediately hold her stomach as she bent in half. Wednesday smiled, unable to pull her eyes away from her. It was a smile wide enough to show her teeth, and the crease of her dimples. A small giggle escaped her throat, and she welcomed the new feeling with surprising ease. Eventually Enid manned to stand back up right, after which her hand instinctively grabbed Wednesday’s again.

Enid would never be the same. Wednesday had been changed. Still they were together, holding hands.

At that moment, Wednesday knew that every version of her would love every version of Enid.

She’d love her in every quiet moment that felt too loud, in every apology she didn’t know how to make, and through every winter they’d have to go through. Together.

Chapter Text

It wasn’t until another week had passed that they spoke again. Wednesday hadn’t insisted on Enid attending any classes. She hadn’t bothered her by attempting to eat together either. In exchange, Enid had walked with her. Every single day, their routine would bring them to the woods, where the river murmured loud enough for the both of them.

“The water seems to have risen a bit since yesterday.” Enid remarked.

“I think you’re right.” Wednesday nodded.

The nights where they had slept holding each other were so distant, so inaccessible Wednesday didn’t know if they’d ever get back to that level of closeness. She found it hard to bear the nearness of Enid while the quietness between them was still sharp at the edges.

Wednesday was left alone with her thoughts, staring at the ground as she felt the heat emanating off of Enid’s Lycan body stick to her like an intoxicating perfume. She bit the inside of her cheek as the memory of Enid’s hand on her waist, pulling her closer in the bed flashed through her mind for the third time that day. Truth was, it was agonising to have feelings for Enid. There was so much love seeping off of Wednesday’s body through the cracks of her emotional barrier that she didn’t know what to do with all of it.

“They said it’s going to snow tomorrow.” It was Wednesday, this time, who had broken the silence.

“A lot?”

“The kind that sticks to the ground.”

“I see.” Was all Enid could utter.

“I’m still planning on going on walks, I believe the woods will look quite beautiful. You don’t have to come. I know snow is not something you particularly look forward to.”

“I’ll come.”

There it was again. Enid’s constant silent apology. No matter the weather, she came. No matter the emotions, or how little she had slept the previous night, she walked. Wednesday was dying to tell her that she really didn’t have to. That she was fine on her own, and that getting lost in the woods had been her all time favourite game as a child. But doing that would mean uttering more than a few words. It would mean reaching into the depth of her lungs and pulling out each letter one by one.

____________________________

“Dear Ghost, have you ever been kissed?”

“What a way to start the day.” Wednesday arched her eyebrow, amused.

“Oh don’t blame me. I’m a curious girl.”

“I have. Once. It wasn’t very successful. And I kissed him, he didn’t kiss me.”

“Did you like it?”

“No.”

“Why?”

“It just didn’t yield the expected outcome.” Wednesday replied back after a few minutes. The few milliseconds her lips had touched Tyler’s before she had broken out into a vision were so distant they barely felt real, yet she had carried a deep disgust for the act a long time after that. She still remembered how it had taken days for her to even feel fully clean again. The trust she had put in Tyler, her most steady ally in Jericho still stung. Most of the time, she preferred to completely forget that she had trusted him with much more personal things than the murder case.

“You didn’t feel the butterflies?”

“Definitely not.”

“Not even a tiny little moth?”

“Moths are great, but none of them were in attendance.”

“Disappointing.”

“Not really.”

“Why?”

“I was just running some tests.”

Wednesday had sworn that she would never kiss anyone again. The whole experience had been horrendous, and not in a good way. Kissing involved emotional intimacy, physical contact with another person, and sharing bodily fluid, everything Wednesday hated. Unfortunately, her talks with Dahlia had sown a question that was now spreading through her mind like ivy on a decrepit wall.

What if the problem wasn’t the act of kissing itself, but who she had kissed ?

“What about you?”

“Have I ever kissed a boy and hated it?”

“No. Just, have you ever kissed anyone?” Wednesday blushed. Dahlia was really making her write the full question. She closed her eyes and thanked the new principal for the parchment assignment. She would’ve never dared to ask these questions to anyone in person. Dahlia was safe, she didn’t have to know that the Wednesday Addams did in fact, sometimes, wonder about teenage activities such as kissing.

“Yes to your question and yes to mine.”

“Why did you kiss boys if you’re a lesbian?”

“I just didn’t know. Okay maybe a small part of me knew. I just already didn’t fit in very well, and adding gay daughter to the list was kind of the worst thing that could’ve happened, so I really had to be sure you know? Really give guys a go before I surrendered.”

“An outcast in a school full of outcasts.”

“Tell me about it.”

“Have you ever kissed a girl?”

Wednesday dropped her quill. She couldn’t believe she had been the one to redirect the conversation towards… she couldn’t even say the word in her head. Thank goodness Enid had left the room, she’d undoubtedly comment on her spiking heart rate if she was close enough to hear it.

“Never. Have you?”

“No.” A new image had immediately painted itself in her mind. The image of Enid’s perfectly soft lips, and what they’d feel like against her own. Wednesday was ready to explode at the mere thought. Even physically connecting her lips with Tyler hadn’t solicited such a visceral reaction from her. The burning in her stomach. She clenched her jaw in shame as she realised her mouth had slightly parted open.

“Have you ever thought about it?”

“The thought has crossed my mind recently.” There was no need to lie to Dahlia, Wednesday thought.

“Did I have anything to do with that?”

“Maybe.”
________________________

“Did I have anything to do with that?”

“Maybe.”

Enid couldn’t believe she had been so bold and it had paid back. She stared at her parchment in disbelief. Ghost had thought about kissing a girl since they had started talking. She closed her eyes as she bit her lower lip, jittering in excitement.

She didn’t know what Ghost’s lips looked like, but she had daydreamt about them a million times already. Ghost and her earnestness. Ghost and her unrelenting kindness. Ghost and her probably gorgeous face and totally perfect kissable lips.

Enid needed to calm down or she’d raise suspicions in the library, but it was almost impossible to chase the thoughts away. She knew exactly how it would go down. They’d meet at the banquet. It would be awkward for the first few minutes, but they’d immediately slip into their habitual conversation topics. Eventually, they’d be able to slip away from the others, and would go sit in the Quad, under the tree, where they had almost met at the Rave’N before Wednesday had ruined it. It would be warm outside by then, but Enid would pretend she was cold, and Ghost would lend her her jacket. Eventually, Ghost would lean in, and gently grab her face before finally kissing her. It would be perfect. Absolutely perfect.

“Just to finish up the topic. I’ve actually never been kissed before. I have always had to be the one to take the leap of faith, I don’t know why. I’m scared too, you know? Why does it always have to be me, bracing myself for rejection instead of them?”

Enid put her pen into her mouth, satisfied. Technically, this was her leaning in first, in a way. This was her being brave, and telling Ghost her needs. The need to be wanted. The need to be so irresistible that she had to be kissed, no matter the consequences. Ghost was smart. She’d read between the lines.

________________________

“You’re just better than them. Boys are quite pathetic and wouldn’t know what to do with a girl like you even if you fell from the sky right into their arms.” Wednesday replied back to Dahlia, relieved the conversation had diverted away from her, so she could forget about Enid and focus on Dahlia’s matters of the heart instead. She’d never kiss Enid because Enid didn’t like her, and she’d never kiss anyone else, so the concept of who would kiss who was completely inapplicable to her life anyway.

Enid liked boys. The way she had dragged the vowels of Ajax’s name had been enough to drive Wednesday mad on the very first day. Pretty girls like Enid didn’t– A knot formed into Wednesday’s throat, shame creeping up on her as she realised how horrible the thought had.

“Are you saying I’m special?” Dahlia teased.

“I most definitely am. You know I think that.”

“Say it.”

“You’re special.” The ink rolled off her quill with ease. There were no lies. Wednesday had never cared for friends, and Dahlia was her best and only friend. Only a person possessing incredible qualities could achieve that.

“I like it when you say things like that.”

“Anything for the Blue Demoiselle.” Wednesday smiled at her parchment. It had become almost natural for her to smile. She smiled everyday when she talked with Dahlia, protected by the fact that nobody was there to really see it. It had become an inside joke, for her to use french grandiose words with Dahlia.

It had been a close call, when she had realised that she had given the girl the name of a Mexican flower. Wednesday couldn’t have her identity be unmasked, and she loathed The French. Perfect to throw her penpal off her scent. If Dahlia passed by her in the hallways, she’d never once suspect she was the one writing down the ridiculous words.

_________________________

It was quarter after three on a Wednesday afternoon when Enid felt it.

A small snowdrop landed on her cheek. She looked up to the sky, which was already darkening despite the early afternoon. A small tear fought her way out of her eye. Nobody could make a Year Without Winter happen, not even her dear Ghost.

It had been easier during the day to pretend she was alright. The time outdoors with Wednesday helped, getting out of her room for something else other than class. Talking with Ghost too, had made the weeks bearable. Maybe she was getting better after all. She wasn’t sure. Every time something good happened, she managed to ruin it almost immediately. It was as if she needed everything to grind to a halt, for people to see she wasn’t doing well, so they could be patient with her. She wanted everyone to know, and take it into account, but she didn’t want to tell them.

But Wednesday was already patient, and that was the problem. Things were different with her, the usual rules of human nature and connection didn’t seem to apply. That was… comforting, in its own unsettling way.

Her legs were heavy as she climbed the stairs of Ophelia Hall. If she skipped the classes for the rest of the day, she’d have time to sleep for a couple of hours before she’d be forced to share the room with Wednesday. The first layer of snow had already coated the ground in white by the time she had reached her bed.

Breathe. She needed to breathe. What had she thought? That it wouldn’t snow in Vermont in the middle of February? What had she expected?

She missed the warmth of her home. She missed California, and its comfortingly dry climate. The stickiness of her sweaty skin, even, she had come to long for. How strong the AC blew in the mall at all times of the year, and how it felt like stepping into an oven every time she went outside. The car rides with her brothers, who took her out for dinner on the nights her mother was particularly moody. How she could always keep the window of the truck open, no matter the time of day or year.

There had been a time where all she had wanted was to live with the pack, out there, and fall in love with a Lycan boy she had probably known peripherally her whole life. How easy things could have been. How close she had been to be able to fit in.

She sat at her desk, ready to message Ghost about the sorrows of her family while still carefully leaving out the crucial details that justified how sad she felt. The connections of her pack ran far, and deep. Her mother would know the second she’d step foot in California. She could never go back. It wasn’t her home anymore. She wasn’t welcome.

“Dear Ghos–

The door of her room opened before she even had time to finish her sentence.

“Wednesday?” Enid’s eyes opened wide in disbelief. In front of her stood Wednesday in full black beekeeping attire. The girl had even kept the bee veil on. Covered from head to toe in thick fabric, she hadn’t uttered a word. “What are you doing here?”

“I have come to see you.”

“Don’t you have class?”

“I told Professor Orloff I was unwell and was allowed to come and rest.”

“Did you catch some contagious disease?”

“What? No, I lied to him.” Wednesday frowned, confused.

“Then why the beekeeping costume?” Enid finally addressed the elephant in the room. Wednesday stared down at herself, as if she only now remembered her predicament.

“Oh right. I just,” Wednesday started, but didn't finish her sentence. “Give me a second.”

Enid watched, perplexed, as the girl went to her side of the room and started rummaging through her closet. This was Wednesday Addams, Enid thought. Showing up in the middle of the day unannounced in full beekeeping attire was the least weird thing about the girl.

“Hair dye?” Enid’s mouth gaped open. She’d never stop being surprised by her roommate.

“Baby blue and bright pink. Your signature colours.”

“You want to dye my hair?”

“I’ve had these bottles ready for weeks. I was waiting for you to redye your hair by yourself, or for an emergency. After it started snowing, I thought that maybe the time had come. Maybe this was an emergency.”

“Wednesday I-” Enid couldn’t quite make out the emotions that stirred inside of her chest. “I’d hug you if I didn’t know you hated it.”

“You can put this on. I don’t want you to stain your clothes.” Wednesday replied with a firm nod, handing her an oversized black t-shirt.

“Thank you.” Enid blushed as the fabric landed in between her fingers.

“Though my exposure to you has raised my tolerance for colour, I do believe touching chemical coloured dye would make me sick, so I am taking some precautions. Please don’t take offense.” Wednesday referred to the costume.

“I don’t- I. I’ll go get changed. Thank you.”

A pang of guilt hit Enid in the chest. Wednesday had grown to be so cautious around her. She wasn’t crazy enough to miss the times where Wednesday insulted her, but she did feel bad for all of her lashouts. She returned to her side of the room, shedding her clothes before putting Wednesday’s shirt on. Not entirely trusting of Wednesday’s hair dying skills, she made sure to wear a pair of shorts short enough that they barely peeked out beneath the oversized fabric. Her heart was beating out of her chest. She stared at herself in the mirror. There she was, paler than ever, all colour drained out of her body and hair, wrapped in Wednesday Addams’ clothes.

Wednesday had already mixed the dyes and activators together when Enid joined her in the bathroom. They didn’t say a word. Enid sat on the stool Wednesday had prepared and let her get to work. Wednesday took off her gloves and protective veil momentarily to separate Enid’s hair into different parts, her fingers gently brushing on Enid’s cheek as she did so. Enid tried to swallow down the blush creeping up her face. Had they ever been this close? Wednesday’s freckles were centimeters away from her, but the girl professionally kept her gaze fixated on Enid’s hair.

Enid closed her eyes. The nearness was too much for her to handle. She bit the inside of her cheek. How easy it would be for her to lean in. What was she thinking? What were these thoughts? Enid had steadily let go of Wednesday, only to quickly start falling in love with the much more open, soft spoken Ghost.

“Do you trust me?” Wednesday whispered. Enid nodded, goosebumps creeping up her neck as she felt Wednesday’s breath on her face. She could hear the girl’s heart, steady and calm. That’s how Enid needed to be. She needed to get her act together.

After what felt like forever, Wednesday finally pulled back and put on her protective gear again. Enid sighed. She had been so close to blowing up her whole life again. So close to being reckless, and to kissing Wednesday, just to see what the girl would do. How selfish she was, hungry for warmth and attention while knowing full well the single act of kissing Wednesday would’ve probably resulted in a broken jaw and a change of rooms.

Enid welcomed the cold dye on her scalp like an old friend. She had missed the sensation. After only a few strokes of the brush, she sank back into the familiar weight settling on her curls. Her shoulders loosened, and she surrendered to Wednesday’s hands, letting her shape the moment however she wished.

“I accidentally spilled some dye on the shirt. You may keep it.” Wednesday concluded, putting the dye bottles down one final time.

“Oh I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. That’s what the shirt was for in the first place. I'll go take off my suit now.”

“Will you come back?” Enid blurted out as Wednesday was about to close the bathroom door behind her. “It’s just. I have to wait at least 45 minutes for the dye to settle in properly. I was thinking we could wait together?”

“Alright.” Wednesday nodded before leaving her alone in the bathroom.

Enid moved the stool to the side and sat on the cold tile floor, deciding to lean her back against the bathtub. That way, her head would not touch anything around her, and only dangle above the porcelain.

After a few minutes, Wednesday quietly sat down by her side. She hugged her knees, and rested her head on them, her eyes meeting Enid’s. She wasn’t wearing her braids anymore, or her uniform. It was just Wednesday, wearing her black zip up sweater, the one that practically engulfed her, and her long, braidless hair Enid doubted many had seen.

“I went back to the Gates mansion the morning after our… adventure.” Wednesday started. She didn’t quite know how to qualify the disastrous night where Tyler had almost killed them both. The night where Enid had left her and moved in with Yoko. She must’ve felt Enid tense by her side immediately because she hurried to finish her thought. “Unfortunately I was unable to retrieve our Snoods.”

“You went back for the snoods?” Enid gasped in surprise.

“Of course.”

“You could’ve been killed.”

“That was of little consequence back then. You had already moved out.”

“I still wouldn’t have wanted you dead.”

“I thought retrieving them would be some sort of peace offering.”

“I didn’t know that.” Enid whispered. Her head hung low.

“I was never able to retrieve them. There was no point in telling you my failures.”

“It’s funny. I always thought you hated the snoods.”

“They were horrific. I’ve always liked horrific things.”

“Right.” Enid chuckled. How weird it was, to sit on the bathroom floor with Wednesday as the girl brought up memories she had wanted to forget, but that were now being mended as they revisited them together. It dawned on her that she did want Ghost and Wednesday to get along. She really needed to start talking more nicely about Wednesday to her. Ghost already didn’t like her. It had never been Enid’s intention, she had merely needed an outlet when Wednesday had been too harsh and when Christmas had just happened.

“I should’ve worn it more.”

“It’s okay.”

“Enid.” Wednesday frowned. Her eyebrows had twitched into a pained expression that made Enid’s smile drop. She couldn’t read her at all, only hear her heart. She nodded at Wednesday, encouraging her to continue.

“Yes?”

“Sometimes I wish I could say more. It’s hard. It doesn't come naturally to me. It feels as if my chest is full, but my lips are a dam. Not as much as I wish gets past them, they’re too heavy.”

“That’s okay.” Enid’s heart shattered. She tried to make her voice as soft as possible. Soft for Wednesday. Her hand stretched out on the tiled floor towards Wednesday. She didn’t have to reach for it. They didn’t have to touch, but the offer was there. “I’m getting better at reading your mind anyways.” she smiled at her sadly.

“If you actually could, you’d only find that you were already there, everywhere.”

It had come out as a whisper, but Wednesday had maintained eye contact. She didn’t reach for Enid’s hand, but she didn’t need to. Enid understood.

“You know.” Enid started, her gaze finally diverting away from Wednesday’s beautiful dark eyes and onto the ceiling. “When I said we weren’t friends. I meant to hurt you. I did. I feel horrible about it, but there’s no need to lie. I’m really sorry. I know I’ve been saying it a lot, so much so that it’s probably lost all meaning by now, but I am.”

“You don’t have to apologize.”

“The apology was just an introduction. What I wanted to say is that, in a way, I don’t think we are friends. Aren’t we more? Doesn’t the word feel small to you? I mean Yoko is my friend, but I could never room with her. I don’t really know what we are. Even roommates feels more adequate than friends. It feels like more.”

“I feel it too.”

“You do?”

“Being with you doesn’t feel like being with Eugene.”

“What does it feel like?”

“Like I’m floating and I don’t know which way is up, or which way is down.”

“In a good way?”

“In a horrific way.”

“Perfect then.”

____________________

“What do you think?” Enid asked hesitantly as she ventured past the bathroom door. She had blowdried her hair, but still put back on Wednesday’s tshirt, liking too much the way it fit against her ribcage. It was hers now anyway apparently. Wednesday had categorically refused to take it back.

“Enid Sinclair, you are at last yourself again.” Wednesday nodded, a proud smile painted shamelessly across her lips.

“I look more like her at least. You did a terrific job.”

“I’ve retouched my mother’s roots in the past, though she would kill me if she knew I just told you that.”

“My lips are sealed.”

Enid’s smile faded as her eyes diverted away from Wednesday and onto their window. The snow. She had completely forgotten about the snow. Her stomach dropped, the exhaustion she had cumulated throughout the day catching up to her all at once.

Wednesday took a couple of steps forwards until she was right in front of her. Enid tried to hide her surprise when she felt Wednesday’s hand reach up for her own. Her fingers traced her palm gently before she warped her fingers around her own, giving them a tight squeeze.

“The day is still long, Enid. It’s only five. You can’t let it win.” She whispered.

“Okay.” Enid nodded, unsure.

“Okay?”

“Yes. I can do that.”

“You can. You can do hard things.”

“You’re right.”

“Let’s go outside. Have you been to Jericho since the semester has started?”

“I don’t think I have, actually.”

“Fancy a milkshake?”

Chapter Text

“How did you find this place?” Enid asked Wednesday as she looked around her.

“I couldn’t bring myself to go back to the weathervane.” Wednesday admitted.

The Jericho diner was everything she disliked. A nostalgia for the sixties, neon lights everywhere, and red leather booths with cracks in the fabric. The tables were anchored to the floor, impossible to move, and an old man always seemed to be sitting at the counter every time she came. Plus, they only served drip coffee.

It was, however, the type of place Enid would like. She viewed the world from a completely different lens than Wednesday. Enid would only see the whipped cream toppings, the varieties of waffles, and the extensive all day breakfast menu. That was why she came here, sometimes when on her walks alone. She missed Enid and Enid would like it there.

“The place is so nice. It really feels like we’re in a movie.”

“Doesn’t it?” A horror movie, Wednesday thought but didn’t say.

“Wait, Wednesday.”

“Yes?”

“I don’t have money. I’m really sorry.”

“I would’ve never allowed you to pay anyway.”

“I’ll pay you back.”

“I’ll burn the dollar bills if you do. Enjoy whatever you want on the menu. It will be on me.”

“Are you sure?”

“Very sure.”

She could have anything she wanted. Wednesday would do anything. Give her anything. Hunt for anything Enid wanted. She was so unbelievably devoted to the idea of Enid feeling better that she’d go through fire if it meant keeping the girl warm, even for a few, fleeting seconds.

“Do you miss him?” Enid asked after they had been served their Milkshakes. A strawberry banana one for Enid, and a blueberry one for Wednesday. Their feet were touching underneath the table, but the layers of thick fabric from their snow boots made Wednesday believe Enid hadn’t noticed. She had though. Wednesday noticed everything.

“Miss who?” Wednesday asked, distracted. She couldn’t take her eyes off of Enid as the girl drank her milkshake. Her new hair was so similar to the one she had had when they had met. It was difficult for Wednesday to believe she wasn’t talking to bubbly, fall semester Enid. The Enid that had begged her for a friend date and Wednesday hadn’t even been able to give her that.

“Tyler of course.” Enid lowered her voice.

“Why would I miss him?” Wednesday winced.

“He was your friend before everything went down. I mean, he was your first kiss.”

“He attacked you.”

“I know.” Enid shrunk down on the couch of the booth, her body remembering the trauma she had undergone.

“So he’s dead to me. He put your life in danger.”

“I put his life in danger too. I was strong.”

“He also put it in danger at the Gates Mansion. We lost our snoods because of him.”

“That’s true.”

“I don’t miss him. I only regret the fact that he hurt you.”

“I see.” Enid muttered, taking another sip of her milkshake.

“What’s your favourite color?” Wednesday blurted.

“What?” Enid almost choked, surprised by the question.

“We haven’t ever had lighthearted conversations. I deflected all of your attempts last semester. This is my attempt. A redo of our Girl’s night out. Only if you want to of course.” Wednesday felt herself blush. Truth was, she had become curious. Getting to know Dahlia so well had made her want to get to know Enid. She almost found it more intimate, to know the small, non secret things about the girl.

“Orange.”

“Orange? My money was on pink.”

“I mean I love pink, but it’s definitely orange. It’s so warm. It reminds me of California. What about you?”

“Black.”

“That doesn’t count Wednesday.” Enid giggled, making Wednesday blush harder. She didn’t know. She had no clue. She had asked a question about colors because Enid liked colors, not because she had ever particularly thought about them.

“This isn’t a life or death question, Wens, you can just say anything and I’ll take you at your word.” Enid smiled at her, encouraging.

“Blue.” Wednesday finally said, clearing her throat immediately.

“What kind of blue? Blue like the sky? Blue like the ocean? Blue like my hair?”

“Oh you know, any type of blue really.” Wednesday stiffened, unable to put a name on the shade she had in mind.

“Alright, I won’t pry.” Enid conceded. “I’ll think of a question too so you don’t have to.”

“Okay.” Wednesday nodded before chugging half of her milkshake, freezing her throat in the process. Why was she so nervous? These were easy questions. This is what people did. This is what she did with Dahlia all day everyday. Just two girls, getting to know each other.

“What was your favourite movie growing up?”

“The Lion King.” Wednesday replied with no hesitation.

“Are you actually serious?”

“Scar’s betrayal is impressive. It is foreshadowed, but gut wrenching. I still can’t believe they put such a graphic, traumatising death in a children’s movie. It was executed beautifully, and I can only applaud the directors for making millions of children cry as they violently experience loss, betrayal, and grief.”

“I’m suddenly not surprised anymore.”

“What about you?”

“I think it would have to be Barbie and the Twelve Dancing Princesses. A timeless classic, really.”

“That sounds great.” Wednesday forced out, trying to hide her terror.

“It is great, and guess what?”

“What?”

“You don’t have to watch it with me, ever.”

“Thank you.” Wednesday’s shoulders relaxed. Enid let out a giggle, and Wednesday decided that perhaps this wasn’t so bad. She could handle being vulnerable if it meant getting to know Enid.

She knew what Enid looked like down to every little detail. The way she tucked her hair behind her ear when she was thinking. Her long delicate fingers and defined lips. Her perfect teeth, and how cute they looked when she smiled. Her collection of colorful knitted sweaters, and the way her nose scrunched in her sleep when sunlight finally reached her bed. Wednesday had come to appreciate all of it.

She also knew Enid had lived through things a girl her age shouldn’t have. Tyler, the fight. The numerous things she didn’t tell Wednesday, but cried about in her sleep. It broke Wednesday’s heart to know she couldn't help. ‘I can’t tell you because you’ll blame yourself even though it’s not your fault’ She had once told her. The sentence still played in Wednesday’s mind. What had happened to Enid? Would she ever know?

Then finally, there was this middle ground. The things people found out about each other before they really paid attention to each other’s physical appearances, or talked about their trauma. It was what she knew of Dahlia, and what she had never bothered to learn about Enid. But Wednesday cared now. She just did.

__________________________

“Hold onto my arm. You could trip from exposed roots hiding underneath the snow.”

Wednesday gave Enid her arm, which she accepted.

Enid shuddered at the heat. How was Wednesday always so warm? Wasn’t she supposed to be the Lycan one? The afternoon with Wednesday had been nothing short of magical. Thanks to her, she had regained a bit of herself she had lost. The diner had been so beautiful, the blurry warmth of the neon signs was perfect, their milkshakes so delicious that she hadn’t even minded the thick flurries falling to the ground. In the span of a couple hours, the landscape had gone from barely covered to sunken underneath several inches of snow.

“You know, I had never seen snow until I came here.” She confessed, mesmerized by the white sky. They had reached the grounds of Nevermore, so there wasn’t really any reason for her to still hold onto Wednesday’s arm, but neither of them moved away.

“How come?”

“I had never even been outside of California. Werewolves are very territorial so my entire family was there. Between that and rigid treaties between packs, there just wasn’t any real reason for us to leave the State.”

“What did it feel like, when you first saw snow?”

“I actually loved it, believe it or not.”

“It is beautiful, no matter how disorienting.” Wednesday nodded. Enid found it strange for Wednesday to have described it as such. Who called snow disorienting? It was a familiar feeling, but the reason why was too grey for her to be able to decipher.

“I had this whole list of things I wanted to do. That list became a lot smaller when I realised how cold it was, and how much time and people were needed to build a snow fort.”

“What was on the list?”

“You know, the basic things?”

“Like what?”

“Snowball fight, Ice skating, building a snowman, going sledding. Definitely not skiing because that sounds suicidal.”

“And what have you done so far?”

“I’ve built a snowman and gone sledding.”

It went so fast that Enid didn’t even have the time to register what was happening. Before she knew it, a cold patch hit her chest. She looked down at the remnants of a snowball, then back up at Wednesday, speechless.

“What?” The girl shrugged, a small smile fighting its way out by the corner of her lips.

“Oh Wednesday. Wednesday, Wednesday, Wednesday. You are going to pay for that!” Enid yelled out in a laugh as she reached to the ground to make a snowball.

Wednesday backed away, trying to create space between them for a fair fight. Enid took this as an opportunity to throw an unavoidable hit that landed right in the middle of Wednesday’s back. The girl turned around, wide eyed.

“It’s on.” Wednesday stated, her competitive side having already taken over. Enid smiled. She loved this side of her.

“You bet.” She nodded. “Let’s take two minutes to both make a reserve of ammunition.”

Another hit, this time straight onto her shoulder.

“So this is how it is, huh?” She glared at Wednesday, amused.

“I don’t play fair. Ever.”

“And I never lose!”

“Get ready to experience a brand new feeling then!”

Wednesday’s aim was impressive, but Enid was faster, and stronger. For every couple of perfect hits from Wednesday, Enid delivered a devastating blow. Neither of them gave up though, continuing their fight in the deserted field that belonged to them only.

Enid swore she could hear her giggles mixing in with Wednesday’s as they ran around, sometimes simply throwing a handful of snow at each other, not having time to even pack it into a snowball. That was impossible though, Wednesday didn’t laugh. The flurries landed on top of the girl's black hair without melting.

She looked beautiful.

Hit.

Enid held up her hand to her heart, shocked.

“Get a grip Sinclair, this is war and you’re losing it.” Wednesday smirked.

“Take this Addams!” Enid roared, throwing the most hard packed snowball with unprecedented strength. Only this time, she aimed perfectly. The Snowball crashed in the middle of Wednesday’s face before the girl had the time to dodge. Wednesday fell onto the ground, disoriented. “Wait oh my God I’m so sorry.” Enid rushed to her side, alarmed. She was stronger than others, and she needed to control her strength. This was the first rule of Werewolf education.

“I’m okay.” Wednesday groaned.

“I can’t believe I did that, I'm sorry.” Enid panicked, holding out her hand to help Wednesday back up.

Instead of taking her hand, Wednesday swept her legs against Enid’s calves, sending her crashing backwards into the snow. Enid landed hard on her back, but the soft fluff absorbed the impact, leaving her unhurt.

“I told you I don’t play fair.” Wednesday nodded, satisfied as they both sat up.

It was Enid who started it. Before either of them knew it, they were wrestling in the snow, twisting around as the other tried to gain dominance. Wednesday was stronger than Enid expected, at one point gripping onto her arm with such force that she was unable to reach down for a handful of snow.

But Wednesday had no way of winning. Not in this setting, not when physical strength was the only deciding factor.

Enid got out of her hold and managed to grab both her wrists, pinning her to the ground. Wednesday tried to pry herself away, but was unsuccessful. Enid was now on all fours, completely on top of her as she held Wednesday's wrists above her head. They both stayed quiet, panting as they stared into each other’s eyes.

A flurry landed on Wednesday’s forehead.

Guided by an internal force that pushed reason aside and demanded to leave all rationality behind, Enid leaned in and kissed the snowflake away. Her lips tasted the wetness of the snow, and salt from Wednesday’s sweat. She leaned back to meet Wednesday's dark eyes again. The grip on the girl’s wrists wasn’t strong anymore, but Wednesday didn’t move away.

A flurry landed on Wednesday’s cheek.

Enid’s eyes asked Wednesday for a sign. A sign that she shouldn’t. Wednesday didn’t blink. Enid rushed down and kissed it before it had time to melt. She moved away again.

Their breaths materialized and melted together in a light fog. How close they were. The deafening sound of their heartbeats echoed against Enid’s eardrums. Everything had disappeared. Everything but the snow, and Wednesday. She didn’t know which way was up, and which way was down. She had no other landmark. At that moment, her entire world was Wednesday. Her landmark. Her everything.

A flurry landed on Wednesday’s lip.

Enid’s heart skipped a beat as she interrogated Wednesday. Was she really going to do it? Wednesday’s mouth parted slightly, but she didn’t lick the snowflare away. She just stared at Enid, without uttering a single word. Without moving. Without giving any sign, positive or negative. Enid could feel the blood rush through her veins, the heat in the air, and the electricity travelling through her body, passing onto Wednesday through their connected hands and back to her. How easy it would be for her to just lean in, one last time.

The snowflake would soon melt, and the moment would pass. She had a split second to decide whether or not this moment was worth ruining their friendship. She knew it wasn’t rational. She only felt like this because Wednesday was her only landmark. The only thing she could feel, the only thing she could see in this ocean of cold and white.

But they weren’t friends. They had never been friends.

Wednesday’s lips received her with surprising tenderness. The warmth and wetness of their mouths mixing in with the now melted snowflake was enough to drive Enid mad. Wednesday, her eternal burn in the void of ice and despair. Wednesday. Wednesday. Wednesday.

Their lips moved against each other with ease, and with a gentle eagerness Enid had never experienced before. How soft Wednesday was, even when she attempted to be rough.

A small snowflake landed on the back of Enid’s exposed neck and dripped down her back. A terrifying thought she had pushed aside until now crept up her spine in response.

Wednesday knew.

Wednesday knew she liked girls. There was no going back. She had done it. She had leaned in. Wednesday was pinned down, she had an excuse. Enid didn’t. She had no way out of this.

It was with horror and nausea that she pulled away from Wednesday after what felt like too long. Wednesday raised her head from the ground in an attempt to keep their lips connected, but Enid got off of her and turned around.

Now that she wasn’t touching Wednesday anymore, everything was clearer. Shame. Disgust. The feeling that she was exactly what her mother hated. The idea that Wednesday would never want to live with her. How would she feel safe sharing a room with her? She had destroyed everything in the matter of a second. And for what? For a fleeting kiss with a girl she had once liked?

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry.” She whispered all over again as she hugged her knees, tears streaming down her face. She was shaking. She was so cold. Had it really been this cold the entire time? She couldn’t feel her hands and feet anymore.

“Enid.” Wednesday’s voice was calm. She tried to put her hand on Enid’s back but Enid moved away.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry.”

“Why are you sorry? Everything is okay. I promise”

“I’m not– Wednesday I swear I’m not a. I don’t know why I did all of that. I wouldn’t. I don’t want you to think that I’m. Oh God. I think I’m going to throw up.”

She didn’t know if she was going to faint or vomit. Either way, her tears had started melting in with her snot. Her teeth were chattering and her vision was closing in.

“I’m so sorry. I’m so so so so sorry Wednesday.”

“Enid, I need you to breathe. I am okay. Everything is okay.”

“I’m not like that. That’s not me. I’m not. I promise you. I promise you Wens. Please don’t kick me out of our room. Please. I swear,”

“You don’t need to swear anything. I’m not kicking you out.”

“I don’t.” Enid heaved in between sobs. She felt so weak. Her thighs were hurting from tensing them unconsciously so much. How could she? This wasn’t Ghost, who she had harbored a crush on for months now through anonymous exchanges. This was Wednesday. The very real, very physically present Wednesday. It was because she had been the only landmark. That’s what it was. That’s what it had been.

“Enid, look at me. You’re having a panic attack. I need you to stay with me. Please look at me.”

Enid obeyed. Her ribcage shook with violence, and her head hurt. Wednesday’s dark eyes stared back at her, tainted with a tinge of worry.

“Breathe with me.” Wednesday demanded, taking a deep breath in.

At first Enid couldn’t. She couldn’t even keep her eyes open and face Wednesday. But Wednesday’s breaths were loud, and persistent. Eventually, their chests synced into a harmony.

“What can I do?” Wednesday whispered. “Tell me what I can do to make this better for you and I will.”

“I want you to forget.”

“You want me to forget that we kissed?” Wednesday’s voice was small. She frowned, her face twisting in a way Enid couldn’t understand.

“Yes. That’s what I want. It will never happen again. I promise.”

“Then I’ll forget.”

Wednesday pulled her hand away from Enid’s, and only in that instant did Enid notice their fingers had been entwined. The warmth that lingered was fleeting, dissolving like the last ember of a fire, leaving her skin colder for having known it.

Chapter Text

Enid got up from her bed at around eleven the next morning. Her head hurt so bad she wondered if it hadn’t been swapped with a bowling ball while she had been asleep. Wednesday was nowhere to be seen, but she’d soon be back for their walk. A vision crossed her mind.

She had ruined everything.

She had kissed Wednesday.

Nothing about the events of last night felt real. Enid walked over to the bathroom and stared at her reflection. Aside from the dark circles under her eyes, she looked exactly the way she had last semester. Her hair was dyed. It really had happened. Wednesday and her beekeeping costume, the milkshakes, the walk, the kiss. Everything had happened.

She looked over at Wednesday’s side. She could come back any second. She could just sit on that side of the room all day, and Enid wouldn’t be able to do anything about it. It wasn’t like she could just tell Wednesday she wasn’t ready to face her yet, and that perhaps the girl needed to figure out somewhere else to hang out for a little while.

She barely took the time to put on her shoes before scurrying out the door and flying down the stairs. The snow almost reached her knees now. Enid didn’t stop walking until she was far enough from the Nevermore castle to not be recognized by a teacher, or a friend from the inside of the building. Her head spun. She laid down, welcoming the dull ache of the snow on her back.

She could feel the cold and that was a good thing.

The air burned her lungs and broke her ribcage and that was a good thing.

She was alive and that was a good thing.

She was going to throw up from anxiety. The spiral of thoughts suffocated her and pulled her down until a buzzing numbness wrapped itself around her ears and jaw, muffling out her senses. Her eyes closed and she was falling forwards a hundred times in a row.

Her heart was a lighthouse, her brain rolling down the spiral staircase of her life, forced to revisit every embarrassing and mean thing she had done. The times she had spoken too much in conversations with friends, and not left enough space for the others. The times her mother had looked at her with embarrassment, and pity in her eyes. The times when Wednesday had reminded her of how little she deserved. They were all there, and she fell, and she fell, and she fell down that staircase.

She was alive and that was a good thing.

The sunlight reflecting on the snow blinded her, making it hard to open her eyes again. She only sat back up when she was positive her clothes were soaked. The buzzing numbness grew and grew and grew and suddenly she was no more.

Her hands reached for her phone, but they didn’t feel attached to her body. She took a selfie. She looked beautiful on her instagram story, but she didn’t recognise herself. Everything was distant. She was stuck behind a film, or perhaps hovering over her own body. She wasn’t fully there.

Buzz.

Lucas Walker replying flames to her picture not two minutes after she had posted it.

She could do this. Yes. She could do this.

She replied to him. He immediately saw her message and complimented her again. Clearly, whatever he had going on at the end of last semester with Bianca wasn’t serious.

This worked.

Guys still desired her and she, well, she could still desire being desired by them.

__________________________

Wednesday couldn’t forget.

She had promised Enid, but it was much easier said than done. How soft her lips had been. How perfect it had felt. She had leaned in, never weaning to let go of Enid’s lips. She had wanted more, she had wanted all of Enid. More of her pink, and her blues, and her eternal warmth.

Wednesday wasn’t a fool. Of course Enid liked girls. It was the only reasonable explanation for the visceral reaction she had had when they had kissed. Wednesday didn’t care, but Enid clearly did.

It was too painful for her to even try their walk that day. Instead, she had gone straight from class to the Jericho Diner, silently hoping the same waitress from last night wouldn’t be on shift. She slid into the very booth they had shared only hours earlier and ordered a strawberry–banana milkshake.

It wasn’t her favourite, the banana was too overpowering over what seemed to be frozen strawberries. But Enid liked it. Enid really liked it. She closed her eyes and took another sip before leaning back onto the cracked red leather. Enid. Enid. Enid.

How could she ever forget?

She shook the thought off and reached for her milkshake. There was something strangely fitting about drinking something cold while the world outside froze. She sighed. Too late. The thought had already rooted itself in her mind.

She couldn’t tell Dahlia. For reasons she couldn’t quite name, it felt wrong to confess that she had kissed another girl. Wednesday couldn’t predict Dahlia’s reaction, but she knew it would wound her. So Dahlia couldn’t know. The guilt lingered anyway. Sometimes Wednesday hated that she couldn’t be entirely honest with her, though she assumed Dahlia harboured secrets of her own. Everyone did, after all. People kept skeletons in their closet. Wednesday had always preferred arranging hers neatly by her bedside back home.

_______________________

“Dear Dahlia, how was your day? We didn’t get to talk yesterday.”

“My day was good.”

“Yes?”

“Yes. I had a good day. Did you?”

“It snowed.”

“It did.”

“You don’t like snow. I feel sorry I couldn't be there for you.”

“You are too kind, Ghost. I missed you, but I managed on my own. I’m a big girl.”

“I’m glad to hear that. I wish sometimes that I could see your face. What if you didn’t have a good day? What if you’re lying to me right now, or resent me for not being able to message you.”

“I don’t want you to overthink because of me. Overthinking is one of life’s greatest burdens. Take me at face value (ironically). I promise you I am only very very happy when I talk to you. Talking to you is my favourite thing.”

“Okay. Yes. I can do that. Thank you Dahlia.”

“Are you okay?”

“What?”

“You feel… off.”

“I guess you’re right. Some difficult things have been happening in my life and I feel like I’m not equipped to deal with them.”

“Like what?”

“Everything. Someone says something to me and then I proceed to take that instant and mutilate it in my mind until the original idea is completely lost, until I can’t even remember it.”

“I know the feeling. It’s really hard. I’m sorry you’re going through this, Ghost. I have an idea.”

“What is it?”

“I will be entirely transparent first. From our conversations I have gathered a few things. I think you feel lonely. I also think this is a new feeling. You didn’t use to mind, but you do now. You also don’t have a lot of people to rely on.”

“I do have people. That’s the worst part. I technically have a great support system. I’ve just. I don’t know, Dahlia. Like you said, I never needed it. It was bothersome, even, to see these people ready to listen to me, to care about my wellbeing. I was fine.”

“Why can’t you reach out to them?”

“Because they know me. I don’t know. I just hate how they would react. They’d have a long ‘I told you so’ moment before they’d even be of any help. Perhaps it is pride talking, but I just don’t know how to do that.”

“What about new friends?”

“Friends?”

“Well, if the people you mentioned, friends or family, are too smug, why not try and make new ones?”

“I have you. You’re my new friend.”

“But Ghost… I know you don’t have many other people. If it is a connection you crave, you have to try.”

“I don’t know. I’ve lost myself, Dahlia. I don't know anything anymore. I don’t recognise myself. I feel, and I feel, and I feel, I don’t know where to put all of that, all of these emotions.”

“Ghost. My Dear Ghost. Here are a few things that make you you, from someone who really, really, really likes you: You are kind. You are thoughtful. You like squirrels. Spiders don’t scare you. You like the Winter. You know a great deal about flowers, and about constellations. I think you could even write a book, just by making a well thought out bouquet. You are patient. You care, and that is a good thing. You look after your friend, even if you haven’t talked to me about her in a while, even if you now say that I am your only friend, I know that you care for her. She feels it. I know that too. You have a way with people. You may not see it, but you’ll have to trust me. You know how to make someone feel special. You are so warm, so smart, so knowledgeable, so attentive that words feel small when I try to describe how you make people feel, how you feel to me.”

“Thank you. I don’t know what to say.”

“You don’t have to say anything. You just have to write. Grab a piece of paper, right now. A real one, where words stay.”

“Okay.”

“You have it?”

“Yes.”

“You are going to write what I tell you.”

“Okay.”

“1. I am kind.”

“What is this?”

“Affirmations. Just write what I tell you.”

“Okay.”

“Done?”

“Yes. This feels weird.”

“2. I am a good person.”

“Done.”

“3. I deserve to be loved.”

“Done.”

“4. People care about me.”

“Done.”

“5. I deserve kindness, from myself and others.”

“Done.”

“6. My thoughts are not always facts.”

“Done.”

“7. I am enough, exactly as I am.”

“Done.”

“8. I give myself permission to take up space in my relationships with people.”

“Done.”

“9. I am more than my mistakes.”

“Done.”

“10. Dahlia is always here for me. I can trust her words.”

“Done.”

“There you go. Now you keep that piece of paper wherever you want. Your pocket, underneath your pillow, in the trashcan (though I hope you won't do that). You can read it whenever you need. Everything on it is true. If things stop feeling real, or become too warped, you’ll always have this. A trace of me that can’t be erased.”

“Do you have one?”

“What?”

“A list of affirmations for yourself.”

“They’re in my head.”

“That doesn’t count. Writing is the only truth. You are right. You need to take your own word, otherwise, how am I supposed to?”

“I guess you’re right.”

“Do it. When you get to the 10th point, write ‘Ghost is always here for me. I can trust her words.”

“You’re cute.”

“I don’t like being called cute.”

“But you are. You are very cute.”

“Just don’t say that outloud when we meet.”

“I just added an affirmation to my own list: 11. Ghost is cute.”

“I won’t dignify that with an answer.”

“12. Ghost is blushing.”

“Stop!”

“Am I right?”

“I won’t tell you.”

“You’re totally blushing. I know you too well.”

“I guess you do. Perhaps I need to take a step back from you.”

“Wait no. I didn’t mean it. I'm sorry! I shouldn’t have pushed your buttons so much.”

“11. Dahlia is panicking.”

“Wait. Are you playing with me?”

“Yes.”

“Oh my God that was so not funny Ghost!!”

“I laughed.”

“13. Ghost’s sense of humour is trash!”

“Hey!”

“You can’t joke about leaving me!”

“I’ll never leave you.”

“Good, because I plan on having you in my life for a very very long time.”

“Me too.”

“You know, there’s a chance that we live in the same Hall. Wouldn’t that be crazy? For all we know, we could be seeing each other at breakfast every day and you could be right underneath my floorboards when I sleep!”

“I have a hard time even picturing you in this school. I go to class and I hear people participate in class and just tell myself that there’s no way you’re one of them. You’re far too smart.”

“I don't even get really good grades.”

“That doesn’t mean anything.”

“It does to universities. Scholarships are rare for outcasts because we can’t qualify for any athletic scholarships, so my hopes are really low.”

“I can help you pay for that. You don’t have to worry about that anymore.”

“Are you loaded?”

“Loaded? Like a gun?”

“No, like you are rich.”

“Yes. My parents have no concept of money whatsoever and we have generational wealth so let’s just say my pocket money is ridiculous. If it’s University you want to go to, I’ll make it happen.”

“You’re crazy. I can’t accept that.”

“The offer is there. I’m very serious.”

“What about something smaller? Like a trip?”

“Where would you want to go?”

“South America?”

“Where to?”

“Anywhere. I haven’t seen any of it so I don’t mind. I just know it’s always warm and sunny.”

“I’ll start drafting a plan for this summer then.”

“This summer?”

“Yes, why not? Do you have any other plans?”

“I guess not. It’s just so soon.”

“I can make it work.”

“Ghost and Dahlia in South America. Wouldn’t that be fun?”

“You know, there is this town in Mexico called Huamantla, where entire fields of Dahlias grow every year.”

“How do you know this?”

“I just do. I like flowers.”

“14. Ghost knows a lot about flowers and that is very attractive.”

“I’m not writing that down.”

“That one can stay in my mind.”

_______________________

“Wednesday?”

Enid walked up to the middle of their room. Wednesday, who had been reading on her bed, looked up in surprise. They had barely acknowledged each other since the events of the first fall of snow. Enid had made a point of staying out of the room as much as she could, sometimes only coming back for curfew.

“Yes?”

“This is like, super out of the blue I know, and you totally really don’t have to. Honestly I wouldn’t be upset if you didn’t. I don’t expect you to–

“Enid.”

“What?”

“Just tell me.”

“Lucas Walker is having a house party tonight, and he told me I could invite everyone I wanted. Yoko and the others are coming, but I thought I’d extend the invite to you too.”

“You’re inviting me to a house party?” Wednesday frowned. Surely this wasn’t how Enid started up a conversation after days of awkward silences and painful avoidance.

“There’s going to be alcohol, and music you probably hate. I wouldn’t be surprised if someone starts some stupid game like spin the bottle. Anyway I just thought you should know you are welcome to join.”

“I’ll come.”

“Really?”

“Yes? Yes.” Wednesday couldn’t believe herself. Enid was right. This was everything she hated. Perhaps she really had come to yearn for a connection. If this was Enid;s thing, maybe she could make it work. “Last time you went to a party without me you came home throwing your guts out and I had to hold your hair for hours.”

“Right.” Enid sighed.

“What should I wear?” Wednesday ignored the twist in her gut, the suspicion that her desperate attempts to mask her fear of loneliness had only wounded Enid instead.

“Whatever you want. I think they’ll just be surprised you’re coming at all.”

_______________________

“So glad you could make it Enid!” Lucas opened the door and one arm hugged her with a beer bottle in his hand. She stiffened at the touch, but let it happen.

“I brought Wednesday with me. Hope that’s okay.”

“Of course it’s okay. No hard feelings between us, right Addams?” Lucas extended a hand towards Wednesday, who stared at it without shaking it until he gave up. “I think you guys are the last ones we were waiting for. It’s a small party so I’m overcompensating with loud music to make it feel less empty.” Lucas joked, and Enid laughed. Wednesday frowned at her reaction, but Enid pretended not to notice.

She regretted bringing her roommate the second they arrived in the living room. Most people were already incredibly drunk, and patches on the ground were sticky from spilled liquids.

"Let's just dance! We don’t have to say hi to other people yet.” Enid yelled over the music. Wednesday looked around and nodded curtly. Her movements were as weird as they had been at the Rave’N, but somehow less free. Enid frowned. Was Wednesday looking around to see people’s reactions? This wasn’t like her.

Wednesday’s controlled act however, reminded her of her task that night. To reassure the girl that she had nothing to worry about. That they could still be roommates and she wasn’t weird.

“Lucas!” Enid motioned for her to come over. He obliged, handing her and Wednesday drinks.

“I don’t drink. Thank you.” Wednesday nodded politely.

“What is this?” Enid arched an eyebrow at the mixture in the cup which smelled like a mix between dish soap and hand sanitizer.

“It’s like, two thirds a cup of vodka and some orange juice, enough to get you to feel good and loosen up.” He winked.

“Thank you. I’ll take both.” Enid grabbed her cup and Wednesday’s.

“Are you sure? It’s a lot.” Lucas looked worried. He was kind. It broke Enid’s heart to think that she just couldn’t like him. He was handsome, had a nice smile, and treated outcasts well since the first Rave’N incident. He was perfect. She brought Wednesday’s cup to her lips and downed it in a few gulps. It was easy to ignore the burning down her throat by swallowing quickly. Truthfully, she only needed to taste the very last sip if she concentrated.

“I’m a werewolf, remember?” She returned his wink. “Hey Wens, here’s my phone, could you take a picture of us please?”

“Fuck yes!” Lucas laughed, wrapping his arm around her neck. Enid resisted the urge to run away from his embrace, and instead focused on unlocking her phone and handing it to Wednesday. She pretended to kiss Lucas’ cheek as the smell of his cheap cologne set her throat on fire.

“I’m going to sit on the couch for a bit.” Wednesday handed her the phone back after a singular flash and turned around before Enid could protest.

“Alright it’s just you and me, Sinclair.” Lucas flirted. She removed his arm from her body and instead wrapped both her arms around his neck. This was better. More control. It also allowed her to turn her back to Wednesday, and ignore a bit better how much she truly felt like crying.

“Do you think I'm pretty?”

“You’re so gorgeous.”

“Yes?”

“Yeah, you’re so hot. Honestly I was just waiting for you to arrive. The party was shit until you showed up.”

“I like the way you speak to me.” she smiled, pushing him away under the pretext of dancing more freely. She did. She liked being desired. She liked his eyes on her. She just felt nothing. Nothing in her wanted to lean in and kiss him. His touch, though warm, felt like a prison. There was panic, almost, to the way she experienced his physical affection.

They danced together for a while. Enid stole a few glances towards the couch, only to be met with Wednesday’s eyes. She always looked away immediately, doing her best to stay focused on Lucas instead. He was a good dancer. Much more boring than Wednesday, but still had rhythm. No. Lucas. She needed to focus on Lucas.

It was so hot in the house. Enid regretted now wearing her long jeans just to save herself the pain of being outside in a mini skirt. Her makeup was going to melt if she kept dancing any longer, she was sure of it.

“Wanna take a break?” She panted.

“Everyone, let's play some rounds of spin of doom!” Lucas exclaimed, wrapping his arm against her shoulders. Their bare skins touched, sticky and sweaty. Good, she thought, that way everyone would see.

“Spin of doom?” Enid asked, confused.

“You’ll see.” He smirked.

The dreadful sensation that something really bad was about to happen fell over Enid’s head like a bucket of cold water, but she ignored it. Everyone sat around in a circle except for Wednesday, who remained on the couch, watching from afar.

“Here’s the game. Everyone sits in a circle and we spin a bottle. Whoever it lands on is the person who will be receiving a truth or a dare. The twist is, you can’t choose between both. We spin the bottle again and whoever it lands on that time gets to decide what to ask you.”

“Bro this is not a good idea.” A normie laughed.

“Addams, come sit with us.” Lucas ignored him.

“I’m not playing.”

“Then you’re out. You play or you go, it’s the house rules.” Lucas shrugged, a drunk, innocent smile spreading across his lips. Enid watched as Wednesday reluctantly came and sat in the circle by her side, her back as straight as a plank.

There she was, sitting on the floor of the Walker living room, squished between Lucas and Wednesday as familiar and unfamiliar faces blurred together in front of her. This was a terrible, terrible idea. Now that she sat, she realised how drunk she had gotten. Werewolves had never been better at holding their liquor, it was just something she liked to say to be able to drink a bit more without attracting concern.

“I’ll spin first.” Lucas leaned forwards as he turned the wheels of fate. “Divina! You will answer to…” He spun again. “Enid!”

“Oh, uhm.” Enid started, taken aback. She hadn’t expected to be summoned so soon. “Do you still feel salty about losing the Poe Cup?” Was all she could conjure. A few whistles and gasps made her believe her question had been good enough.

“Screw you Enid.” Divina laughed.

“I’ll take that as a yes.” Enid arched her eyebrows and laughed. She took another sip of her drink and hid her wince.

“Now Enid you have to spin. Let’s see who will decide your fate!”

“Alright.” Enid leaned forwards into the circle and spun the bottle. Was Lucas staring at her body? Was Wednesday? She looked good in her red crop top and she knew it.

Her heart dropped. The bottle had landed right in front of Wednesday. Enid turned towards her, slowly, dreading to meet her big dark eyes. Wednesday’s face was unreadable, and Enid couldn’t hear her heart over the loud music. She was completely in the blind. Wednesday’s eyes moved to Lucas, finally freeing Enid of their hold.

“Can I drink?” Wednesday asked Enid tried to hide her disappointment as well as she could.

“What? You can ask her anything you want and she has to do it!”

“Highschool parties usually involve drinking. Can I skip my turn if I drink?”

“I guess you can?” Lucas scratched the back of his head, clearly having never encountered this situation before. “But it’s one shot per pass. So if you pass up on giving Enid a dare, and also on being given a dare, that’s two shots.”

“Deal”

“Two shots coming right up!” A normie friend of Lucas appeared out of nowhere by their side, handing Wednesday two small glasses filled with a clear liquid that unmistakably smelled like Gin.

“Wednesday! Wednesday! Wednesday!” the circle chanted. Enid didn’t join in, she only stared, wide-eyed, at Wednesday’s expression of disgust. Enid knew it wasn’t the alcohol that twisted her face that way, but the suffocating energy radiating from the crowd. Wednesday swallowed both shots without missing a beat and the circle erupted in a poisoned applause.

“You didn’t have to do that.” Enid whispered to her, but Wednesday ignored her. Enid sunk down deeper onto the floor. Regretting every choice that had led her there. Was it just a predisposition in her, to always make every mistake possible along the way until she had dug herself a hole so deep she could no longer see any light? Wednesday would hate her. Lucas would not get what he wanted from her and would be disappointed. There was no way for any of this to end well.

Unsurprisingly, the game quickly lost all of its innocence. Enid lost track of anything after a normie girl was dared to kiss Ajax, and a Bianca was told to make out with Lucas’ best friend.

“Enid!” Divina exclaimed

“Yes?” Enid snapped out of her thoughts only to realize the entire room was looking at her.

“Payback! I get to ask you a question or give you a dare.”

“Right. Bring it on.” Enid sighed with a smile as she noticed the bottle pointed at Divina. She had not even noticed she had just been picked one spin ago.

“I dare you to kiss the person you find the most attractive in the room.” Divina smirked. Enid refrained from throwing up at Divina’s choice of words. Not Boy, like the normie girl and Bianca had been asked.

Person.

She scanned her Nevermore friends. All did the same, their eyes switching back and forth between Lucas and Wednesday, a curious, vicious smile painted on their faces. She thought Yoko had only assumed, guessed how she had felt about Wednesday. This was different. All expecting, all putting her on the spot in front of people she had never even met before.

They all knew what Divina had implied. There was no other way. Her heart beat out of temples, echoing against every wall until the sounds of the room had been drowned out. There was only one thing left to do, and she knew it. Enid stood up and stepped into the circle before turning towards Lucas, who was still sitting down, but now looking at her expectantly.

Enid’s knees felt onto both sides of Lucas' open lap, their chests now pressed against each other. She kissed him harder than she had ever kissed anyone. Lucas gasped against her mouth, but welcomed the kiss with the same energy. How sharp he was, even when trying to be soft. Enid leaned into his body, melting into him as she ignored the laughs and applause from the crowd. Kissing. She needed to keep on kissing him like no one was watching, except she wouldn’t be kissing him if that was the case.

She couldn’t resist, and opened her eyes furtively towards Wednesday as Lucas’ tongue pushed further down her throat. Wednesday simply stared back at her, with her dark, entrapping eyes. Enid felt a heat in her lower stomach. If she kept herself focused enough on Wednesday’s stare piercing through her like she was nothing, she could almost imagine it was her lips that were kissing her. So she kissed Lucas harder and harder, her body almost knocking into his.

Wednesday looked away, bored, and the spell was broken.

Enid jolted up and away from Lucas’ lap, startled by what she had done. She sat back down in her spot, flustered even more by the shocked looks on everybody’s faces. She had done a good job. She had convinced everyone but herself.

“You have to dare or ask Wednesday a question.” Lucas nudged her gently, snapping her out of her thoughts.

“I’ll just drink instead.” Enid blushed. She knew the last thing Wednesday wanted to do right now was being asked some stupid question about crushes and boys, so she’d take the fall for her and drink. Truthfully speaking, Enid had no idea how many shots Wednesday had had during the period of time where she had zoned out.

“Fine I’ll just ask her if nobody else will.” A boy whose name Enid did not know, but recognized as one of Lucas’ acolytes on the night they had ruined the Rave’N spoke up. “Tell us Addams, whose was bigger, Tyler’s or Xavier’s?”

“Fuck off!” Enid replied back immediately, shocked by what she had just heard. Even in her most inebriated, fake state, Enid’s first reflex was to protect Wednesday.

Wednesday stood up, serene, though Enid noticed a small tilt in her posture indicating that some alcohol had indeed gotten to her system.

“I don’t know who you are, but I hope your liver fails you before you turn twenty five and you remain a burden to your mother until the rest of her days.” She simply said before exiting the room.

Enid stood up to follow her instinctively, surprised when Lucas held her back with a slight grab of the wrist.

“Where are you going?”

“I have to go with her. She’s my roommate. She’s never drank before and I just. I have to go, I’m sorry.” She implored. Lucas released his grip and smiled at her gently.

“You’re too kind to her. Have a good night Enid.” He nodded.

Enid’s heart broke a little more as she walked down the empty hallways, the sound of the party restarting without her and Wednesday growing more and more distant. She was a mess. A terrible mess. She was pathetic. Her fingers traced every wall until she finally found the exit of the Walker mansion and ventured into the cold, dead Winter. She had no idea what time it was, or whether or not Wednesday knew the way home. Their home.

“Wednesday wait!” Enid stumbled, but Wednesday didn’t stop. Minutes passed during which Enid couldn’t catch up to Wednesday. The girl remained a solid twenty yards ahead of her no matter how much she sped up. The night was cold, and the music coming out of Lucas’ house had been drowned out a while ago, leaving them alone with the stars and the crackling of the snow under their footsteps.

“Wednesday!” Enid yelled once more as they reached the Nevermore grounds.

“You know, Enid.” Wednesday turned around, her arms crossed around her chest in a protective way. She was… crying? Enid couldn’t believe her eyes.

“I didn’t know they were going to ask you questions like that.” Enid interrupted her, raising her arms in a defeated way. Her feet struggled to stay attached to the ground, her entire body somehow always tilting one way or the other.

“I can’t believe you’d do this to me.” Wednesday roared.

“Do what? You can’t blame me for what happened! You didn’t even have to come, I was just trying to be nice.” Enid felt the blood drain out of her face, Wednesday’s words sobering her up brutally.

“You bring me to a party just to ignore me the whole time? The picture, you dancing with him. Then you kiss him in front of everyone while looking straight at me as you shove your tongue down his throat? What kind of humiliation ritual was that?”

Wednesday’s words stunk of alcohol and hurt.

“Oh my bad, I didn’t know I was supposed to hold your hand the entire time!” Enid replied, defensive. She knew there was some truth in Wednesday’s words, but she also hadn’t been the one who had sent her in exile on the couch. Nobody had gone to talk to Wednesday, but she hadn’t gone to talk to anyone either.

“You know what I mean. You knew what you were doing. You knew how I'd feel. Kissing him right in front of me… that was just mean! And for what? You don’t even like him. Everyone but him knows that!”

“What’s that supposed to mean? You don’t know how I feel about h-

“Enid! Come on!” Wednesday cut her off. “Nobody cares that you’re a lesbian! No one! So stop making your self-loathing everybody else’s problem!”

“I’m not a lesbian.”

“Yeah, and I’m not a psychic.” Wednesday rolled her eyes.

“Shut up!” Enid pushed Wednesday. She knew that in the event of a fall, Wednesday would land on fresh snow and not hurt herself.

“Then you’re just cruel.” Wednesday shrugged.

“You want to talk about cruelty, really, Wednesday?” Enid seethed, taken over by a rage that never fully left her heart. “Alright then let’s recall last semester.”

“I’ve done better! You know I’ve been trying.”

“Let’s see.” Enid ignored her. “Wednesday Addams’ semester: She’s just this really interesting girl who doesn't care about anything, or anyone! She makes fun of her roommate for living and breathing while she gets to play detective with the sheriff’s son, even though she knows for a fact he’s bullied outcasts before! After endangering her roommate's life several times, manipulating her into breaking school rules for her own benefit, and making two boys fall in love with her, she saves the day and the whole school sees her as a hero! She leaves for the Christmas Holidays and shows no sign of life until the new semester starts.”

“I’ve apologized a million times for the Gates mansion. I don’t know how else to make it better.” Wednesday cried, desperate.

“Wait! You haven’t even heard the best part yet. The funny part. Enid Sinclair’s fall semester. The comic relief side character in Wednesday’s life. You’ll like her. Let me fill you in: Enid spends the whole semester berated and belittled by a girl she just met. She defends her to everyone, even while crying herself to sleep, because deep down she knows: no one has ever shown her so plainly that being herself was already far too much for the people around her.

The threat of werewolf conversation therapy looms over her and her mother is nothing but disappointed and embarrassed of her. Meanwhile, where's our little Wednesday? Oh you know, just hanging out with her super rich family that worships the ground she walks on. But why would Wednesday be nice to them? She’s not nice to anyone. Then here comes the best part! Enid realises she’s in love with her roommate! Isn't that hilarious? Isn’t that pathetic? That’s right, the very same roommate who couldn’t have given two shits about her safety.”

“Enid–

“No. You let me fucking finish. Where was I? Right. Okay so at that point in Enid’s semester, Wednesday had just left to kiss her normie bully boy and she’s all alone in the room. She thinks to herself, hmm, I feel like my friends have been distant with me, why is that? Oh right! It’s because they are literally all in a secret society together! All of them. Meanwhile the roommate knew about that society since day one but she never thought to tell her, because why would anyone tell Enid anything! She’s so dumb and vapid and pink that she wouldn’t get it anyway.

Then she finally miraculously wolfs out and helps in the fight against evil before being left permanently disfigurated with scars across her fucking face. She goes home to her family and thinks that her relationship with her roommate has been healed. She texts her a couple of times, but no replies. That’s fine. It’s Wednesday. Whatever. That’s just what she does.

Only then, comes the grand finale of Enid’s disastrous semester. It’s honestly funny. Enid’s mom finds her fucking journal where she’s written all her stupid dumb thoughts about being in love with a girl and all that other stuff! Long story short, Enid has to leave California immediately before she embarrasses the family further. She finds herself at school, with no home to go to, two days before Christmas. Poor little Enid, pitied by the new principal, who is encouraging her to reach out to her roommate to see if she can maybe spend the rest of the holidays with her, since her family lives not too far and is very rich. She calls, and she calls, and she texts and she gets no replies. Nothing. So Enid spends Christmas on her own in her room.

She sits there, crying, and wonders why she was the one who had to leave after their argument. That room had been hers alone for an entire year before she ever had a roommate, yet somehow, she was the one pushed out. How weak must she be to have let that happen? Anyway.

Then her roommate comes back from her wonderful holidays with a heart and a conscience, and suddenly she’s a fucking saint! I mean who would have thought? Enid is still angry, and hurt, but she feels stupid for it now because the girl in front of her, the girl who was mean to her for months, the girl she is learning to unlove to survive, is now being so fucking nice its nauseating. Nauseous, Wednesday, you make me feel nauseous!”

“Enid.”

“Don’t ever call me mean again. What I've done to you is not even an ounce of what you’ve done to me.”

“What phone?”

“What?”

“What do you mean you called me?”

“The phone Xavier gave you at the end of the semester? It had all of our numbers saved in it. I texted you like, the day after you left.”

“Xavier said it was a gift from him.”

“It was a gift from all of us!”

“I threw it in a pot of boiling water the second I got home. I thought it was just to contact him and I had no interest in that. I swear I would've never ignored your messages had I known.”

“Whatever!” Enid roared, her lip trembling. She was thrown off by the revelation but still needed to stand strong.

“I didn’t know, Enid. I promise. Of course you could’ve spent Christmas with us.”

“Everything else I said still stands!”

“It does.”

“I’m not mean! I’m not a mean person! You just get to see all of me. I don’t have a second away from you.” Enid cried, the sound of her sobs mixing with Wednesday’s “And now guess what? We just have to walk back together and go sleep in the same fucking room.”

“I don’t know how to come back from this.” Wednesday wiped her tears away with her sleeve, new droplets forming in the corner of her eyes immediately.

“I don’t know either, I'm really cold, drunk, and upset.” Enid hiccuped.

“I mean. What is there left to do? We have to go home.”

“We do.”

“I’ll give you a headstart so we don’t have to walk together.”

“No.”

“What?”

“You’re really drunk Wednesday.”

“So are you.”

“Yes, but I’ve been drunk before. Urgh. Whatever. Just hold onto my arm and don’t mention it. Don’t want you falling down the stairs and breaking your neck.” Enid sighed as she approached Wednesday.

She felt lighter now that she had let out everything that had festered inside of her for months now. She didn’t feel better though. She had thought it might feel like justice, but seeing Wednesday hurt at her hands, just as she had once been at hers felt hollow instead. Wednesday’s fingers wrapped around her forearm, and Enid had to pretend that the closeness between their bodies didn’t soothe her despite what had just ensued between them.

“You looked really pretty tonight.” Wednesday slurred, her head bumping against Enid’s arm as she walked in a zigzag line along her.

“Thank you. So did you.”

“It hurts to be close to you.” Wednesday whispered. Enid studied her. Her eyes were opened wide, but her gaze was distant, empty. Alcohol truly kept no prisoners, not even Wednesday Addams.

“You hurt me a lot too.”

“I think it hurts me more when you’re far.” Wednesday squeezed her arm a bit tighter. She had so little force left in her body that Enid already dreaded the fact that she’d have to practically carry her up the stairs.

“It hurts me more too. I don’t have anyone else.”

“I’ll always be there for you. Please trust my words.”

Wednesday’s words echoed inside of Enid’s drunk brain before escaping her grasp. The cadence of it was familiar, softening her just enough to feel its warmth, yet not enough to hold onto it past this night. By morning it would slip away, nameless and unplaceable, like a dream dissolving with the sun.

"Come on, let’s get you to bed." Enid sighed, a couple of teardrops falling down her cheek and onto Wednesday’s scalp. She kissed them away instinctively, her lips softening as they made contact with Wednesday’s dark hair.

Perhaps that was her curse, to eternally care for, and love Wednesday before anything else. It wasn’t a rehearsed ritual, but the natural dance of her life.

Chapter Text

“On a scale from one to ten how drunk are you?” Enid panted, moving away from Wednesday only once she was sure the girl was sitting on the tile floor with her back against the bathroom.

“I’ve never been drunk before so I can't accurately compare or measure what I’m feeling right now.” Wednesday replied. Her words were clear, but Enid recognised a small emptiness in her stare that didn’t bode well.

“Zero is obviously sober and ten is blackout and you're definitely not remembering the night tomorrow morning. I’d say five is a solid I really feel it and wouldn’t call it tipsy, but I’m also not going to throw up. That’s what I’m at right now personally.”

“Seven.” Wednesday replied after a long reflexion.

“Okay you’re taking a shower. It will sober you up, and, if you do throw up, then it’s less cleanup.”

“Alright.”

“I’ll get you some clothes.” Enid stood up but Wednesday reached up for her wrist in a feeble attempt to stop her.

“Please don’t open my closet.”

“Why?”

“There’s stuff I don’t want you to see in there. Private.”

“Then how am I supposed to get you your pyjamas?”

Wednesday didn’t reply, but Enid understood immediately.

“Won’t you break into hives?”

“I told you. Being close to you has built my tolerance up.”

“Alright then.”

Enid’s hand trembled as she rummaged through her own closet, the leftover adrenaline from their fight still rushing through her body. She had told her everything, and Wednesday was conscious enough she’d remember it. Wednesday knew about her buried feelings. The love, the admiration, the resentment, the loneliness.

Everything.

When she had bared her soul, it had come wrapped in thorns. The urge to mend Wednesday from the wounds she had inflicted was overwhelming. She had struck to hurt. It had been necessary, impossible to hold back any longer, but the moment the blow landed, all she wanted to do was to gather the fragments and stitch them whole again. Wednesday hadn’t left unscratched.

Enid settled on a pair of shorts and a ridiculously oversized cotton t-shirt that was of a pink so pale it was almost white. Hopefully Wednesday would be able to handle it. She grabbed her hairbrush before walking back towards the bathroom.

“Can I come in?”

“Yes.” Wednesday’s voice was faint.

“Is this okay?” Enid asked softly as she raised the pile of clothes a little higher in the air.

“Yes.”

Enid knelt down in front of her. Wednesday was more awake than she had anticipated, but her eyes remained fixated on the wall behind Enid, as if she wasn’t there at all.

“Are you okay?” Enid asked, her throat swelling up.

Wednesday’s mouth twisted in pain as she shook her head. “I can’t really talk to you right now.”

“I understand.” Enid, nodded. Wednesday had told her before, as they had sat together in that very bathroom, that her lips were as heavy as a dam, and that words struggled to get past. She could hardly imagine how difficult it was right now for her, drunk and with so much information having been punched into her face. “Can I help you? We don’t have to talk.”

Wednesday nodded.

Enid’s hand reached carefully for the black lace that kept Wednesday’s left braid held together. She questioned her with her eyes, and Wednesday let her. Slowly, Enid untangled the three pieces of dark hair, her fingers brushing through the soft locks with ease. She did the same to the other braid, until all of Wednesday’s hair was free. There it was. The sight Wednesday only allowed her to see.

Enid tried to be as gentle as possible despite being drunk herself as she passed her hairbrush through Wednesday's black hair. It was beautiful, so soft, and barely tangled from the hairstyle. She went on for longer than needed. Wednesday looked soothed, and Enid didn’t want to let go of her.

“You don’t have to wait for me here, I’m positive I’m not going to faint.” Wednesday finally broke the silence as they stood up.

“Are you sure?”

Wednesday nodded. “I feel way less dizzy than I did when I entered this bathroom. I can just go get my own clothes now.”

“Is that what you want?”

Wednesday didn’t reply, but Enid heard her pulse quicken. From the very specific heart rate and breathing pattern Enid had unfortunately gotten to know well, Wednesday was second away from tearing up again. Enid pulled her into a hug immediately. She knew Wednesday didn’t like to appear weak.

Her heart shattered into a million pieces as she felt the fabric of her red crop top become wet on her shoulder. She had done this. Again. How many times would she have to hurt Wednesday until she finally considered the emotional debt repaid? How many more times would she bring her onto her rollercoaster of irrational anger outbursts and depressive episodes of abysmal depths?

“I’ll give you privacy and go to my bed.” She whispered in Wednesday’s ear before turning around and leaving the bathroom, not without making sure to pretend she hadn’t noticed Wednesday’s silent tears.

She waited until the shower started running to undress. Finally, she let go. She shook, and she sobbed, and she wailed. She only had a few minutes before she needed to get her act together again, before she needed to stand strong again.

Now that Wednesday was out of sight, she had nothing but the darkness of their room to remind her of her situation. She had no family. She had no home. She was wounding the only person who cared for her. She was mean. She needed to rinse her mouth with soap, and the spots on her waist where Lucas had put his hands on felt like they had been burned with hot iron. She was dirty.

When Wednesday had wounded her with sharp dismissals and cutting words, Enid had learned to swallow the sting, reminding herself that this was simply who Wednesday was. Harshness came naturally to her, she wore it like armour, and she turned it on everyone with equal force. In her weakest moments, Enid could even forgive it, because it wasn’t personal, it was part of the girl’s nature.

But what Enid herself had done felt different, and far harder to justify. Perhaps it was a double standard, but she couldn’t excuse the way she had lashed out at Wednesday this semester. The anger, the bitterness, the pushing. It wasn’t her. She wasn’t someone who raised her voice just to hurt, or shoved people away when they drew too close. And yet she had. That knowledge sat like a stone in her stomach, heavier than Wednesday’s coldness had ever been.

Perhaps she was just a bad person.

The water stopped running, and Enid still stood in her underwear. At that moment, she was sure no one on Earth had ever looked more pathetic than her.

Her fingers landed on a fabric she recognized immediately. It was the t-shirt Wednesday had given her when she had dyed her hair. It wasn’t that long ago, right? It meant Wednesday didn’t hate her entirely, right? How much more disgusting would it make her if she put it on right now?

She decided against it, no matter how much she wanted. She wasn’t worthy. Perhaps it was alcohol that exacerbated her self loathing, or perhaps it just helped her see more clearly the real situation she was in.

She got under the covers right as Wednesday left the bathroom. She tried to calm her breathing, but her heart still beat too fast. Wednesday just stood there, in the middle of the room. Enid’s shirt looked so bright under the moonlight, and contrasted against her dark, wet hair. It reached down to her knees, making her seem even shorter than she actually was.

“Come here.” Enid whispered finally.

It hurts to be with you, but it hurts more to be without you.

Wednesday slipped under her covers. Enid let out a gasp.

“Oh my God you’re freezing!”

“I never bother to shower with hot water.” Wednesday whispered. “You’re so warm.”

“Of course you don’t.” A faint smile crept up on Enid’s face. She didn’t move away, instead holding Wednesday as close to her own body as she could. Hugging Wednesday felt like hugging an ice cube, but soon, their body temperatures would melt together and even out. Truth was, she’d do anything if it meant she could warm Wednesday up.

Why had she even spoken up? Wouldn’t it have just been so much easier to swallow everything down and move on?

“I’m so tired of hurting you. I can’t do it anymore.” Wednesday whispered against her neck, the vibration against her neck sending shivers down her spine.

“I can’t keep on hurting you too.”

“What do we do Enid? What do we do now? How do we stop this?”

“By continuing forward.” Enid was more serene than she had ever been. The path looked so clear now that her eyes were closed and she held Wednesday in her arms. She needed her. She needed her more than anything. She couldn't lose her. “We have to let go. I have to let go of everything. Leave everything behind but you.”

“What do you mean?”

“I forgive you, Wednesday. I forgive you for everything.”

The words came out of Enid’s mouth before she had time to register them. Her eyes opened wide. It was true. She forgave Wednesday. She was letting go. She was starting anew. Her soul felt so light she worried she might float away from her body. Wednesday, she needed to hold onto Wednesday. “And you have to forgive yourself too. You have changed. You’re not the same Wednesday you were last semester.”

“You’ve changed me. Or at least, I wanted to change for you.”

“I didn’t make it easy. I’ve been such a mess. I think I’ve been the worst friend one could ever count on this semester.” Enid let out an embarrassed laugh. Her eyes started watering again.

“We were never friends, remember?”

“Roommates?”

“Roommates.”

______________________

The following week was probably the best week Enid had spent at nevermore. Wednesday and her talked often, and were gentle with each other. It was weird, to finally have mastered the art of small talk with the one girl who had always sworn against it.

Truth was, Enid felt different. She had let go. Everything was less intense, everything was less dramatic. She ate well, and had attended more classes, though she never forced herself to the point of exhaustion. There were nights where the blues lurked around her, but Wednesday was always there.

She had talked a lot with Ghost too. Things in her life had been so intense and messy that she hadn’t had the time to converse with her confidante as much as she had wanted to. It was a relief to see that her penpal remained the same throughout all of Enid’s life changes. Ghost was always kind. Ghost always complimented her, and made her life. Ghost was soft, and endlessly gentle.

Enid had never been one for love triangles. Watching them on tv made her skin crawl. Seeing the girl choose the meaner, less emotionally available boy at the expense of the genuine kind guy was so infuriating she had to stop several shows and movies due to it. Perhaps it was a werewolf thing, to despise love triangles after the ridiculousness that had been Twilight.

Yet here she found herself, having to choose between Ghost and Wednesday. The answer changed day after day in her mind. Wednesday liked her. That was clear after the episode she had had with Lucas. Wednesday was all she had ever wanted last semester. They had so much baggage together, so much history, but the consequences of a breakup between her and Wednesday were so terrible Enid shuddered at the mere thought. What a gamble that was, what a terrible, terrible bet, one whose outcome she feared more than she dared to hope.

Ghost on the other hand, had everything she needed. Ghost meant warmth, and attention. Ghost meant a summer in Mexico, and open affection. Of course they had never really met, but the presence of physicality felt so minor, so inconsequent when Enid had already unfolded her entire heart on a page that made everything disappear. Ghost knew her deepest secrets, her middle school embarrassments, and the names of the stuffies she had had growing up. Ghost treated her like a flower, tended to her emotional needs with consistency and patience.

“Hi there” Enid tried out. To her greatest joy, Ghost replied immediately.

“Hi”

“I missed you”

“We talked yesterday, pretty flower.”

“You’re supposed to say you missed me too.” Enid smiled, welcoming the red warmth on her cheeks with eagerness.

“I missed you too.”

“That’s better.”

“Tout ce que vous voudrez et plus, Mademoiselle.”

“I really should’ve taken French instead of Spanish, then we could’ve talked even more.”

“I wouldn’t go that far. Spanish is far superior as it is much closer to Latin.”

“I see. You know, I think of you as a Scientist of Words. You always know what to say, etymologies hold no mysteries for you, and somehow, there is always a fact you can teach me. No, really, I admire that.”

“If I’m a Scientist of Words, then allow me to classify you as an Empress of Hearts, for you always see straight into other people in a way no one else dares, and can easily decode even the hardest of riddles I carry within myself.”

There it was. The love Enid had always wanted. It wasn’t burning hot, and electrifying, the way things with Wednesday always seemed to be. The Highs were a bit less high, but there were no lows. No downsides.

If she chose Ghost, then she chose to keep Wednesday in her life forever. They wouldn’t be roommates until the end of their lives, but with a bit more distance, Enid could be sure they'd always be in each other’s lives. Her heart broke a bit, but it made sense, to love Ghost, and entertain a friendship with Wednesday, her forever companion. Yes. She could do that. She could be just friends with Wednesday now that she had finally confessed everything to her.

This was a fresh start, a new beginning.

“The Scientist and the Empress. The Ghost and the Flower. The … and the … I don’t know your name yet so I can’t fill in that last part, but you have to admit: We look pretty good together, at least on paper (get it?)”

“Don’t they look like novel names?”

“Or fanfiction titles haha”

“Fan fiction? People who enjoy fiction?”

“Oh boy, you don’t know what fanfiction is?”

“You also always teach me interesting things.”

“I fear this is beyond my abilities as a mentor, Ghost. You either fall into fanfiction or you don’t. The fanfiction life chooses you, you don’t choose her.”

“So mysterious.”

“This is why I love you. Only you could call me mysterious when I’m talking about literal fanfiction.”

Enid’s eyes widened in terror as she watched her sentence disappear before she could scratch it off. How could the words have flown off her pen so easily? Maybe Ghost hadn’t realized what she had just said. Maybe she wasn’t a freak for having gotten so attached to someone whose name she didn’t even know. Or maybe Ghost would make everything easier in her mind and say it back. Enid waited anxiously for a reply, not daring to double message.

_____________________

Wednesday moved closer and further away from the dummy, polishing her already perfected footwork. It had been a while since she had gone fencing. She had missed it. Fencing took her mind off of things. There truly wasn’t a better feeling than a good old burning in the calves after a strenuous workout.

5 days. It had been five days since she had last messaged Dahlia. The more she waited to reply, the more overwhelming the task seemed to become. She didn’t know how to start. She didn’t know what to say.

She lunged forwards again, her sabre striking the mark with ruthless precision. The motion should have satisfied her, but instead she pulled back sharply and let the blade fall from her hand, frustration burning through her veins. She would be lying if she claimed she hadn’t wondered, countless times, what shape her bond with Dahlia might take once they finally crossed paths. Dahlia was sharp, disarmingly funny, quick with her wit. She carried an understanding of Wednesday’s heart that felt almost dangerous. Something Wednesday could neither dismiss nor afford to take for granted.

Wednesday cursed herself.

It was no use.

It had always been Enid. No matter in which way she looked at it, Enid came back to her mind. She couldn’t do anything but desire to be closer to Enid, to be there for her, and protect her.

Now she had to find a way to break two devastating truths to her confidante, her closest friend, and pray their bond could survive it. Her heart already belonged to someone else, and worse still, she would have to cancel the summer plans they had so carefully built together. But Enid needed her. Enid needed a home, and Wednesday refused to let her spend another break in solitude. Not this time, not summer.

Wednesday had scribbled feeble attempts on her notebook, but hadn’t come up with anything worth sharing on the magical parchment. She was putting the title of Scientist of Words to shame.

Things were lighter with Enid since their fight. Wednesday still became nauseous several times a day when she thought about how much the girl had hurt without her knowledge, and how much of that had been her fault, but Enid had been firm when she had told her to let it go. They needed to move forwards, together. She needed to leave her crushing guilt behind, just like Enid had been brave enough to abandon her resentment.

Wednesday needed to stop being a coward. She had to face the problem head-on and speak to Dahlia. She missed her too, achingly so. Their daily conversations had woven themselves into the fabric of her routine, and Dahlia deserved honesty, clarity. Wednesday owed her that, after all the days when Dahlia had been the only one she could cling to, the one steady voice when everything else blurred into chaos. Dahlia had done nothing wrong. That was what broke her heart. She had left her hanging far too long, and now the truth would cut them both. Wednesday needed to stop fearing the shards that would pierce her when she finally delivered the fatal blow.

Because the truth was merciless. She loved Dahlia, in her own way, but Enid eclipsed everything. Enid was all she could see, all she could want, all she could breathe. Enid. Enid. Enid.

____________________

5 days.

5 days since Enid had sent the stupidest message ever to Ghost and had been, ironically, Ghosted.

Enid sighed, contemplating the parchment from the comfort of her bed. Wednesday had started going back to fencing practice, so Enid hadn’t even needed to find an empty classroom to message Ghost. Unfortunately, this newly given privacy had been of no use since Ghost hadn’t replied at all.

“That didn’t come out right, I’m sorry.”

“I know we get along really well, but it really doesn’t have to be like that, I promise”

“Still up for our summer plans?”

All of her messages had disappeared from her parchment, but were now piling up on Ghost’s.

How could she have been so foolish? How could she so easily repel the only girls who had feigned interest in her? She needed to be careful, Nevermore was a small school. At that rate, she’d scare away all the gay girls her age before the semester was over, and destine herself to a high school life on the bleachers of the romance parade, observing everyone from afar get together and break up after she had already blown all her chances.

Rejection was a bitter old friend to Enid. She knew the waltz, she knew the rhythm, she hated the music. She opened her phone and checked her camera roll to see if there was a good picture of herself to post, an old selfie, or a throwback picture where she didn’t hate her body. Her eyes landed on the picture Wednesday had taken of her and Lucas. He looked so happy as she kissed his cheeks, hours before what had been the messiest night of her life.

No. She wouldn’t stoop that low again. No internet validation from meaningless Jericho boys would help.

What if she dressed up? It had been so long since she had experimented with makeup despite it being one of her favourite things. This was for herself. How could she feel good about herself if she hadn’t changed clothes in two days and stared at a blank parchment for hours on end?

A shower, a cute fit, a killer eyeliner. Yes, that was what she needed.

It was okay if she had completely misread the situation with Ghost, it didn’t matter even, she told herself as she blowdried her hair. So what if Ghost wasn’t in love with her? Was she even in love with Ghost? Yes, she was obsessed with the way Ghost treated her, and how romantic every word coming out of that girl’s pen was, but for all she knew, Ghost could be a liar, googling everything before writing it to her. She could even be a no face, which would be worse. Enid shuddered at the thought.

“Okay Enid,” She sighed to herself as she grabbed her eyeshadow palette. “People care about you. You deserve kindness, from yourself and others. Your thoughts are not always facts. You are enough, exactly as you are.”

It was still too difficult to say those affirmations in the first person, but Enid had found them helpful. Staring at her reflection and using the pronoun “you” was much easier for her than to write them down on paper and have to use “I”.

The finished result was better than anything she could've dreamed. There was nothing she enjoyed more than wearing a pair of lowrise jeans and her signature small baby blue crop top. Her hair looked bright, and her smokey eye makeup married her irises so well. Ghost could only dream of having a girl like her.

The door of her bedroom opened, and she recognised Wednesday’s footsteps immediately. Enid frowned, she was back early.

“Wednesday? What are you doing here?” Enid asked as she got out of the bathroom. Wednesday’s eyes widened as she quickly scanned her up and down before looking down onto the floor, but not without a small blush creeping underneath her freckles. Enid smiled to herself as she heard Wednesday’s pulse quicken.

“I had an idea for my novel, so I came back.”

“Is that so?” Enid pouted before taking a step closer. Wednesday took a step back, keeping her at a safe distance. She was still wearing her black fencing uniform, holding tightly onto her helmet and sword. A warm heat formed itself at the bottom of Enid’s stomach as she smelled the salt in Wednesday’s sweat forming at the base of her neck. “Did you know you look good in uniform? The black suits you.”

“Thank you.” Wednesday nodded, still fixated on the floorboards behind Enid. She tried walking to her side of the room but Enid stopped her.

“What about me?” She asked, her finger reaching for Wednesday’s chin, forcing her to look her in the eyes. “Do you think I’m pretty?”

Enid didn’t need a verbal answer. Wednesday’s chest heaved as she stared up at her. Her heartbeat kept quickening and quickening, getting Enid drunk on the attention.

“Anyone who qualifies your beauty as anything less than far above average deserves to be blinded.”

“But that’s not what I asked.” Enid shook her head. “Do you, Wednesday, think I’m pretty?”

“Yes. I think you’re very pretty.”

Enid smiled, satisfied, before moving away from Wednesday’s face, releasing her from her spell.

“Let me help you with this.” Enid said before unzipping Wednesday's outer fencing jacket from the side. There were so many components to a fencing uniform it would be a while until they truly got close. Fencing jacket, plastron, chest protector, base layer, breeches, suspenders, long socks. “I can feel you boiling in there. You’re making me hot by just looking at you.”

Wednesday let her without a word until she was only wearing the tight fitting black shirt as a top. She was beautiful, Enid thought. Perfect.

“Do you want to kiss me?” Enid asked, pouting, before finally looking up at Wednesday.

“What?” Wednesday gulped. All Enid could look at was her suspenders. How easy it would be for her to just reach over and pull her in. Wednesday wanted her. She was wanted. She was desired. It was right there, within her reach. Wednesday was tangible, physical, real. She couldn’t even avoid her the way Ghost did, they shared a room.

“When I kissed Lucas, did you wish I was kissing you instead?”

Wednesday didn't reply. Everything about her composure was perfect. She stood straight, unwavered by Enid’s approaches. Anyone else could think she was perfectly unaffected by Enid’s advances. But Enid wasn’t anyone. Enid was a werewolf, and she knew. Just as Wednesday knew everything about her, at that moment, Enid knew.

“I wanted it to be you. When I opened my eyes and saw you, I tried thinking of your lips instead to get me through the dare. Is that okay?”

One step forward.

Wednesday didn’t move away.

Enid tangled her fingers in the base of the suspenders, where Wednesday’s pants started. Her knuckles were only separated from Wednesday’s stomach by a thin layer of fabric, enough to make her go mad. She had been much closer to Wednesday on countless occasions, but this was different. The heat, the electricity through her and to Wednesday from one arm before coming back through the other. A closed circuit. Enid was ready to combust. She wanted them to be closer. She needed Wednesday. She needed to be needed by Wednesday. Her only landmark in the sea of rejection and self loathing. Her anchor at the bottom of the ocean. Wednesday was everything. Wednesday was everywhere.

Perhaps it was selfish. Perhaps it was because she needed to feel a burn. A common burn. A part of her still longed for Ghost, but she could see a truth in Wednesday’s eyes that got her more drunk, more addicted. The jealousy when she had kissed Lucas was only a small proof for a greater truth. Wednesday wanted her to herself.

Enid leaned in before drifting away from Wednesday’s lips at the last second, instead going to the side of her head.

“I know you want me. So why don’t you just tell me? I love hearing it,” Enid whispered, her lips grazing Wednesday’s ear, delighting in the way a shiver ran across the girl’s skin. She pressed a soft kiss at the base of Wednesday’s mouth before daring to pull back.

But Wednesday caught her, hand snapping to Enid’s jaw with startling force. Her grip was iron, her fingers trembling against Enid’s skin as though she herself didn’t trust what she was about to do. Wednesday’s brow was furrowed, her stare dark, unreadable, torn between fury and something else entirely.

Enid froze, breath caught in her chest, unsure if the next moment would bring an insult, a shove, maybe even a slap to punish her for her greed, for her lust. She couldn’t move. Wednesday held her too tightly.

Then, with a sudden, near-violent pull, Wednesday closed the distance and crashed her mouth against Enid’s. Their lips moved against each other with pent up frustration. Wednesday’s hand stayed clamped on Enid’s jaw, guiding her, keeping her exactly where she wanted her, while the other curled around her waist.

The kiss grew more gentle, but more needy. She didn’t know when, or how, but Wednesday’s back was now against the wall, and Enid finally felt safe enough to pull away from the girl’s lips and trace kisses down her neck. Wednesday gasped, and Enid smiled in satisfaction.

Between fevered kisses, Enid caught the words, low and ragged, torn out like a wicked confession

“I want you.”

Chapter Text

“Wait.” Enid put her hands up between them and Wednesday immediately stopped. She missed the warmth of Wednesday's lips as soon as they were too far to reach for again.

Wednesday’s cheeks were bright red, and her bangs had lost their shape entirely. She was panting, her chest showing no sign of slowing down any time soon. Enid couldn’t believe she was doing what she was doing. How long had she dreamed of being wanted by Wednesday? How many times had she traced her name on the pages of her journal? She knew every twist of the pen by heart, every loop, every angle and every sharp turn until it had become the choreography of her heart.

“I’m not being fair to you.” Enid’s face dropped to Wednesday’s shoulder. She closed her eyes, cursing herself. “I’ve wanted this for so long, Wednesday.”

“Me too.” Wednesday whispered.

“I can’t fully give myself to you. I just can’t. I can feel your heart, and I can feel how much you love me–

“Enid, I love you completely.” Behind the warm monotony of Wednesday’s voice was an earnestness that broke Enid’s heart.

“I love you too. I just. Wednesday there’s someone else too.”

Wednesday moved away and turned her back towards her. Enid’s head hung low. She needed to be truthful with Wednesday. Ghost held a part of her soul within her golden hands, and Enid had no way of retrieving it. She had worn her heart on her sleeve, and had been met with the all encompassing abyss. She hated herself. She loved Wednesday.

“Then why did you kiss me?” Wednesday turned around, and Enid had to force herself to not faint. She had never seen her roommate’s face twist with so much hurt, so much pain. The tears welling up in her eyes were nothing compared to the way the corners of her mouth dipped down, and her chin trembled. Her voice carried a betrayal of trust Enid didn’t know how to handle.

“I’m so sorry. I love you. I love you Wednesday. I just–

“When we went to get your second snowdrop. That’s when I knew.”

“What?”

“You were so happy. Nothing I ever did has made you smile like that. I knew then I’d never be what you needed.”

“No that’s not true–

“I just don’t understand why you strung me along. I don’t understand why you kissed me again when it was already impossible for me to forget the first time.”

“I’m sorry.” Was all Enid could utter. She was blowing up everything for Ghost. She couldn’t do this to Wednesday. “You deserve someone who will love you completely. I can’t do that now.”

“I don’t care about anyone else. I don’t want to be loved. I want to be feared, and I want people to hate me. I only care about you. I’ve never cared about anyone else this way.”

“I know.” Enid fought against the knot in her throat. Tears welled up to her eyes, but she didn’t deserve to cry. She had made Wednesday to be the bad guy for too long. There was no escape here, no other way.

She was the problem. She was the one whose loneliness ran so deep it made her detestable. Wednesday didn’t deserve this. Honesty was her parting gift to her dearest roommate.

If Ghost didn’t love her, then she would be alone, and perhaps that was a good thing.

_______________________

Wednesday entered the Jericho Diner for what was the third time that week. It was embarrassing, almost, how the waitress knew to prepare a Strawberry-Banana milkshake before she even had to ask.

Enid hadn’t dared to go on the walks with her anymore. She had dressed up for the occasion once, but Wednesday had shot her a glare that had come a little too naturally for her taste and Enid had backed away.

Wednesday welcomed the familiarity of the cracks in the red leather booth and rested her head in her hand. She had never been so alone. It was her condition, it was the way she was born, and the way a raven was supposed to live. She just needed to accept it.

She couldn't blame Enid for not loving her the way she loved Enid. She just couldn’t. Her love for Enid was the one incomprehensible, unpredictable factor that had derailed her life. She loved Enid more than she had ever cared for the oxygen in her lungs, or the blood in her veins. Enid was her reason to live, and she’d keep on caring for her despite the heartbreak. She just needed some time. She needed to prepare herself to settle back in the routine of her existence while she watched from the sidelines as someone gave Enid what she had never been able to give her herself. Someone who would openly profess her love for her.

Someone kind who would be more gentle with her beautiful, beautiful heart, and who would listen to every word she had to say. Wednesday had had her chance, and she had blown in. She couldn't even be sure of how much she was allowed to hurt. Had she not split Enid’s soul in two last semester, she wouldn’t be forced to stitch it back together this one.

Truth was, Wednesday created problems just so she could fix them. It was what she had always done, whether consciously or not. Only this time, it had come with an all consuming regret that stalked her days and haunted her nights.

She took a sip of her milkshake and embraced the sting that came with it. Milkshake meant colours. Colors meant Enid. Enid meant Wednesday was ready to hurt, to break into rashes and have permanent ulcers in her mouth if it meant being an iota closer to her.

She took out her notebook and stared at the page full of ridiculous attempts at messaging Dahlia back. They were all so small and cowardly.

Dahlia deserved more, and Wednesday just needed to take a page from Enid’s book and chose the lonely, empty path of honesty.

Her pen danced on the virgin page for too long. She just needed to rip off the bandaid. She needed to not do to Dahlia what had been done to her, even if that resulted in further isolating herself from those she cared about.

Dear Dahlia,

I don’t think I will ever find the right words to start this message. I’m sorry for refusing to embrace the unpredictability of the quill, and not attempting to reach out sooner, regardless of the fact that I was never going to be able to translate my emotions to perfection, no matter how hard I tried.

I’ve missed you dearly. I have thought about you a lot, too. There are very few things in this world I cherish more than our conversations. I have rarely had to look for the Lupus constellation anymore. Any time I was overwhelmed by feelings I didn’t understand, my fingers would instinctively reach for my parchment instead. This is how you make me feel, Dahlia. I think I could live under an eternal cloud and always find my way just by thinking about you. What would Dahlia do?

I think I’ve known something for a while, and I think you have too. I want to be as truthful and transparent with you as possible. I have so much love for you. I care for you deeply.

I’ve fallen in love, Dahlia. I wanted to share this with you, but couldn’t bring myself to do it. A part of me knew it would make you sad, and I couldn't have that. Being the perpetrator of your heartbreak is a daunting reality I must live with and accept.

You don’t deserve to be strung along. You don’t deserve to have hope held over your head. I refuse to do this to you so I must be truthful. My heart yearns for another soul, despite how iridescent and captivating yours is. I have no control over it, just like I have no control over how you will react to my very embarrassingly late message. I want to continue talking to you. Knowing you has been a wonderful adventure I wish to continue for as long as you’ll have me. I understand if you don’t wish to talk to me anymore, and intend on showing up to the banquet in two months.

Please do not feel the need to reply to this, but know I will always be happy to hear from you, Flower Girl.

With Love,

Your Ghost.

It wasn’t very coherent, or very fluid, but the truth had escaped her brain and been inked into reality. She now only needed to find the courage to write it on the real enchanted parchment.

She put the parchment in her pocket before exiting the diner. She resisted the urge to check if she had gotten a reply throughout her entire walk back to Nevermore. Her legs were heavy as she made her way up to her room.

“I think I need some space.”

Wednesday let her eyes linger on the parchment for as long as she needed. Dahlia would never know she had clung to it, slipping it into her closet only when guilt outweighed longing. She had foreseen this ending, but foresight never softened the pain of release.

She opened her notebook once more, and grabbed a pair of scissors. There it was. The poem Dahlia had recited to her. She had once defiantly written it down, refusing to let the beauty of the moment to be lost to ephemerality.

‘Oh whence do you come, my dear friend, to me,
With your golden hair all fallen below your knee,
And your face as white as snowdrops on the lea,
And your voice as hollow as the hollow sea?’

‘From the other world I come back to you:
My locks are uncurled with dripping drenching dew,
You know the old, whilst I know the new:
But to-morrow you shall know this too.’

‘Oh not to-morrow into the dark, I pray;
Oh not to-morrow, too soon to go away:
Here I feel warm and well-content and gay:
Give me another year, another day.’

‘Am I so changed in a day and a night
That mine own only love shrinks from me with fright,
Is fain to turn away to left or right
And cover up her eyes from the sight?’

Wednesday hung it on her wall, right above her desk. The last part of Dahlia she had kept. The only proof they had ever met at all.

“Goodbye, Dahlia. How wonderful it was to ever know you at all.”

___________________________

Enid had stayed downstairs by the cafeteria until she had been sure to hear Wednesday’s heartbeat. She had memorised the pulse down to the very last vibration, and the realisation of how deeply she knew Wednesday nearly made her knees buckle.

It was only once she knew she’d be alone that she had dared to go back to their room. Wednesday deserved space. It was what Enid had wished for herself with Ghost, and it was what she was going to give to Wednesday, regardless of how much it pained her.

Enid had noticed it immediately.

Her eye had been drawn to it the second she had entered the room. A small piece of paper, carefully taped at eye level in front of Wednesday’s desk.

She wished she could tell herself that she had turned away and respected Wednesday’s privacy, that her curiosity hadn't taken the best of her, and that she hadn’t immediately crossed the invisible line and ventured into her Wednesday’s space.

‘Oh whence do you come, my dear friend, to me,
With your golden hair all fallen below your knee,
And your face as white as snowdrops on the lea,
And your voice as hollow as the hollow sea?’

‘From the other world I come back to you:
My locks are uncurled with dripping drenching dew,
You know the old, whilst I know the new:
But to-morrow you shall know this too.’

‘Oh not to-morrow into the dark, I pray;
Oh not to-morrow, too soon to go away:
Here I feel warm and well-content and gay:
Give me another year, another day.’

‘Am I so changed in a day and a night
That mine own only love shrinks from me with fright,
Is fain to turn away to left or right
And cover up her eyes from the sight?’

She couldn’t understand. How did Wednesday even know about this poem? She had once found it by accident as she had grabbed a random ancient book from the library while she had waited for Ghost to-

Oh no.

No. No. No. No.

This couldn't be real. Enid took a step back, horrified. This surely couldn't be. Wednesday couldn’t be Ghost. There was no way. She hadn’t just rejected Wednesday for the sake of being truthful to… Wednesday?

A wave of nausea washed over her. She couldn’t just ask Wednesday upfront. She wasn’t even sure that was true. She wasn't even sure whether or not her brain was playing tricks on her or not.

So many signs. There were so many signs pointing towards a daunting direction. Ghost had a friend who suffered from the Winter Blues. Wednesday had her. All those times where Wednesday claimed she was writing her novel could’ve very well been hours during which she conversed with her through the parchment.

The Quad.

“Oh my God.” Enid murmured. Wednesday had waited under the quad at midnight. Could it be that she had been Ghost? Had the truth really been under her nose the entire time?

Enid finally detached away from the poem and towards Wednesday’s closet. She knew it was private. She knew Wednesday didn’t want her looking. But what if that closet hid additional proof? Enid took a hesitant step, but was immediately stopped by Wednesday’s heartbeat growing closer.

“Shit.” Enid darted towards her side of the room, making it just in time before Wednesday opened the door.

“Hello.” she blurted, stiff as a board. Normal. She needed to act Normal.

“Hello?” Wednesday frowned as she dropped off her tray on her desk and sitting down, her back turned towards Enid.

Enid studied her every movement. Everything about Wednesday remained unchanged, but still attempted to view her through the newfound lens.

Wednesday was not a siren. Wednesday was not a boy.

Wednesday had freckles.

Wednesday was lonely.

Wednesday knew about flowers.

Wednesday had kissed Tyler and regretted it.

Wednesday loved her.

Ghost had rejected her because she had fallen in love.

“You look like you’ve seen a Ghost.” Wednesday declared without turning around, and Enid wondered whether Wednesday knew she had been unmasked, or if the word had slipped from her lips by fate’s cruel design.

_____________________

Enid hadn’t been able to sleep that night, the pull of her thoughts spiralling too strong to let go of her.

In a way, it made everything easier, she had told herself. In another, it meant that Wednesday had known way too much personal information for way too long. She couldn’t be sure of anything. She didn’t trust herself with the magnifying grandeur she attributed to her life, the possibility of Wednesday being Ghost being so small she was scared to give it too much attention.

Weren’t there any systems set in place to make sure one wasn’t paired with their roommate for the assignment?

She had waited impatiently until Wednesday had finally left for her walk before daring to look back at the closet again.

This was an intrusion of privacy. This was rude. This would obsess her and prevent her from doing anything else until she finally knew for sure.

Her hand trembled against the closet handle. There was no going back. She closed her eyes and took one last deep breath before opening the door.

She brought her hand up to her mouth in shock, her eyes finally letting go of all the accumulated pressure and freeing the tears she had painfully kept imprisoned until then.

On the back wall of Wednesday’s closet was yet another small piece of paper taped.

1. I am kind.

2. I am a good person.

3. I deserve to be loved.

4. People care about me.

5. I deserve kindness, from myself and others.

6. My thoughts are not always facts.

7. I am enough, exactly as I am.

8. I give myself permission to take up space in my relationships with people.

9. I am more than my mistakes.

10. Dahlia is always here for me. I can trust her words.

11. Enid is the answer. Follow her no matter what.

Chapter Text

Enid ran out of the room as fast as she could.

Ghost was Wednesday.

Wednesday was Ghost.

It had always been Wednesday, she told herself as she sprinted towards the forest. The snow stuck onto her shoes instead of moving aside like sand. How far had Wednesday gone? What if she had strayed away from the habitual path? What if she wasn’t happy to see her?

Enid’s feet moved with agility, avoiding the exposed roots despite them being covered in snow. She had grown to know every ripple of the trail by heart after having walked it with Wednesday so many times.

“Enid?” Wednesday questioned, turning around as soon as she had heard her. She had brought out the flowerpot, and held it delicately in her arms. Enid’s throat tightened with adoration, forcing back the tears that already threatened to escape. She had never been good at keeping her flowers alive, yet in Wednesday’s arms they looked transformed, resilient, thriving. Her two snowdrops, one white and one tinged with violet, seemed to lean toward each other, blooming side by side in their small pot.

“What?” Enid snapped out of her thoughts.

“What do you mean ‘what?’ Why are you here, panting like you just ran for your life?”

I’m Dahlia. I love you. I have always loved you.

Wednesday threw her a questioning look, and Enid realized she hadn’t said any of her thoughts out loud. She tried opening her mouth, but no words accepted her offer.

“Can I walk with you?” She blurted after too long. It was the only thing she had managed to say. A strong blush crept up her cheeks, and Wednesday noticed it, but didn't mention it. Her hands tensed around the pot, she nodded curtly before turning around and continuing her walk.

Enid stared in awe at the back of Wednesday’s head, forgetting to move. How beautiful she looked, how wonderful she smelled. Enid couldn't understand how she had ever lived without her. Her Ghost, Her Scientist of Words, her landmark on the eternal field of snow, and her anchor in the deep abyss of her restless soul. Her Wednesday Addams. Hers.

“Are you coming or not?” Wednesday’s voice was flat, but gentle. She didn’t turn around, or slow down her stride, but Enid recognized it for what it was. An invitation.

They didn’t talk, instead simply walking side by side, letting the river fill in the comfortable void. Enid tried to look at Wednesday as little as she could. How torturous it was, to have to focus on the path, when her dearest love stood right next to her. How wonderful it was, to know Wednesday had chosen her to walk by her side.

Enid’s attention veered towards Wednesday’s heartbeat.

Oh Ghost My Dear Ghost, if only I had realized earlier that I knew your heart down to the very last tremor of its silence.

“Do you hear that?” Wednesday hummed, and Enid had to repress her surprise. Had Wednesday’s powers extended to mind reading?

“What do you mean?”

“The birds are back.”

Wednesday was right.

Alongside the soft choir of crackling snow under footsteps, river whispering against stones, and a heartbeat so warm it made Enid melt, was an undeniable chirping.

“Winter is coming to an end.” Enid smiled.

“So it seems.”

___________________

Enid had tried.

She really had.

She had stopped Wednesday as the girl had exited the bathroom, her hair still wet and unbraided, tangled in her black towel. She had also insisted on having lunch together, and had even stayed in the room during Wednesday’s writing time, during their talking time as Ghost and Dahlia.

Nothing. She hadn’t been able to utter a single word. Not on their walks, nor on their lunches. Not at night nor in the morning. Wednesday had been polite enough to not ask questions despite having noticed the unnatural behaviour she exhibited, and Enid found herself wishing Wednesday would pry, if only to tear open the silence she herself could no longer bear to hold.

“Are you there?”

She had finally written on her parchment. It was simple. It was natural. It was on their scheduled talking time, despite the fact that Ghost and Dahlia had almost ceased to exist after weeks of absence.

“I didn’t think I’d hear from you again.”

The response had been almost immediate. Enid smiled. It was strange, to know that Wednesday was upstairs, in their room, talking with her.

“How was your day?”

“My day was good. How was yours?”

“It was good too.” It was so futile, and yet Enid couldn’t help but be moved. “I’ve missed you.” She added. Truth was, she had started missing Wednesday from the second she had left the room to go and talk to Ghost privately.

“I’ve missed you too. The void you have created in my routine has been purposefully left hollow, in the singular hope of your voice filling it once more.”

“The Scientist of Words has struck again.”

“The Empress of Hearts never fails to inspire her.”

Enid buried her face in her hands, unable to contain her emotions. She wanted Wednesday. She wanted her desperately, and completely. She was going to go crazy if she kept the act any longer.

“Meet me tonight.” She begged with her pen, biting her lower lip in an attempt to ground her wandering thoughts.

“Are you sure?”

“Yes.”

“It would be my pleasure.”

“Are you familiar with the Weeping Willow snapped in half?”

“The one by the river?”

“Exactly. Meet me there at Midnight. Tonight.” Enid declared, satisfied.

“I shall try my best to not count every minute until then.”

_________________

Enid couldn’t believe the scene unravelling in their room when she had entered it after dinner. It would be hours until Ghost and Dahlia would meet, yet half of Wednesday’s closet was on the floor, and the girl made enough frantic comes and goes between the bathroom and her closet to spread her panic to Enid.

It really was her. Wednesday was her Ghost.

“What are you doing?” Enid asked, because she had to.

What would Enid do? She asked herself.

Enid would ask questions. Enid would imply a date. Enid would be curious.

“It’s on a need to know basis.” Wednesday shrugged, slowing down as she realized her behaviour was out of character.

“Alright.” Enid sighed before laying on her bed. She couldn’t get ready herself until Wednesday left the room to go to their meeting anyway, so she decided to simply sit back and enjoy the sight before her.

She had wondered countless times what people thought of her when she wasn’t in the room. Did they like her as much as she liked them? Did they think she was too much, or did they miss her? Every single intrusive question she had twisted and mutilated inside of her self-conscious mind was being answered, and healed by Wednesday’s care.

It was in the way she fixed her bangs a little too often, and the way Enid heard her heart speed up every time their eyes met.

How Wednesday constantly reached for her pocket, and how Enid just knew the parchment was in it.

Wednesday’s freckled blush at her sight when Enid had gotten up to go to the bathroom and inched closer to her.

Wednesday’s instant message on her parchment when Enid had closed the door, separating their physical bodies for an instant.

“I can’t wait.” Were the words that had appeared on Enid’s parchment, as she heard Wednesday’s quill rest back on her desk.

“I’ve never wanted anything more.” Enid had sworn, the vow carved in her very soul.

_______________________

“You look really pretty tonight.” Enid said as Wednesday opened the door to their room, ready to leave at 11:30.

“Thank you Enid. You look pretty as well.” Wednesday nodded, her lips pursed.

“I’m just in my pyjamas.”

“You always look pretty.”

Wednesday closed the door behind her without waiting for a reply.

Enid darted out of her bed the second she was sure Wednesday was out of earshot.

“Shit. Shit. Shit.” She cursed as she rummaged through her closet as well. None of her clothes seemed adequate, all shirts either too formal, or too thin for the cold weather. She hadn’t prepared anything. No speech, no outfit, no explanation.

Be brave, she told herself. This is a good thing. Ghost is always here for me, I can trust her words.

Her eyes couldn’t help but be attracted to the one black spot in her closet of colours. It was the plain, black cotton T-shirt Wednesday had gifted her. The collar was forever tainted with a splash of bright pink, and Enid understood that she needed to feel close to Wednesday in order to be able to meet Ghost. The fabric slid over her body, and Enid’s senses were flooded with a familiar warmth, tinged with a hint of Cedar wood and Lavender. Wednesday would be close to her heart until the very end.

Enid’s stride was rapid, her arms crossed against her body in an attempt to gather warmth. The snow had started to melt, and she had been foolish to believe that a T-shirt and a thin jacket would suffice outside during the witching hour. She accelerated, still resisting to run. She absolutely refused to be sweaty when she finally met Ghost.

How strange it was, to know that she was about to meet Wednesday, who she had just parted ways with. It didn’t feel like it. The rush of adrenaline of meeting Ghost, her Ghost, whom she had offered her heart to so openly was overwhelming and all encompassing. Wednesday was the object of her desires, she knew that, but she was also certain that it would take seeing the girl under the Weeping Willow to fully embrace the infinite, sealed circle that was her love for Wednesday. No triangle, no angles, no one way street. Her love was a closed, electrifying current that made her entire body yearn for one singular person.

All roads led to Wednesday Addams.

There she was, her face reflecting the beauty of the moonlight as the stars were their only witnesses. Enid had never seen her look so beautiful.

“Enid?” What are you doing here?” Wednesday’s head snapped towards her direction. Her voice was alarmed, and almost frustrated as she looked around for Dahlia, believing Enid had arrived at the worst moment possible.

Enid tried to reply, but the length of her plan had come to an end. She was in uncharted territory, navigating through pages of a map she had yet to explore.

“Why did you follow me?” Wednesday stomped towards her until they were inches apart. “You can’t be here.”

“Do you believe in A Year Without Winter?”

Wednesday’s face remained impassible, but her eyes went through a series of emotions Enid could read as clearly as if they had been written on her parchment. The confusion, the realisation, the horror, the acceptance, the love.

“Dahlia?” It had come out as a pleading whisper that Enid could only indulge with a slight nod.

Wednesday stepped forward once more. Enid could now feel the girl’s breath caressing her neck, but she still refused to look Wednesday in the eyes, a newfound shyness taking control over her body.

Wednesday’s hand reached for her face with a gentleness Enid had never dared to dream of. Her thumb caressed her cheek, stroking it gently as it wiped away the tears Enid hadn’t realised she had shed.

“It really is you. My Flower Girl.” And the adoration in Wednesday’s voice was strong enough that Enid finally opened her eyes. “It’s always been you. My dearest Enid.”

The walk back to Nevermore was a hazy dream Enid longed to bask in forever. She lost count of how many whispers dissolved into the night. The shadows of awakening trees danced across the silver snow, their creaking choir a hymn to the secret they now kept. The burn of Wednesday’s fingers against her palm, the taste of her lips, each kiss a plea to meet again, parting only for the space of a smile or the murmur of an intimate confession.

They had joined their beds in the middle of the room, letting the Moon keep its patient watch through the round window above. Face to face on their sides, they lingered awake, foreheads pressed together, hands clasped together, keeping the rest of the world at bay.

Enid took off her shirt, exposing the bra she had carefully selected in the hopes of getting a reaction from Wednesday. It was white, and the lace made it sheer enough that one would be able to draw every inch of her skin hiding underneath. Wednesday had given her exactly what she had wanted, what she had needed.

Wednesday, with her pleading eyes, silently asking permission.

Wednesday, with her beautiful hands tracing reverent lines over the fabric.

Wednesday’s quiet whimper when Enid leaned into her touch, unable to hold back.

Wednesday unclasping her bra.

Wednesday whispering how perfect she was.

Wednesday, shedding her own shirt in a single motion, wordlessly yearning to be closer still.

They craved proximity without end, bodies drawn to fuse, to burn, to belong. Enid ached to map Wednesday’s skin with her lips, and at last her love was not only returned but invited. She offered it now in a reverent line of kisses, tracing a trembling path down her stomach.

Enid tugged at Wednesday's underwear. Just an inch, just enough to plant a small kiss right on her hip, the line of the body drawn before her too irresistible to deny it. Goosebumps answered her lips, and Enid feared she had been ruined forever by a blessing too divine to bear.

She kissed her way back up to Wednesday’s lips, taking her time to explore every corner of her smile. God, she was beautiful when she smiled.

Enid suppressed a gasp when she felt Wednesday’s hand land softly on her side. Her fingers trailed her ribs, slowly, painfully, and Enid relished at the ache that begged for more in her lower stomach.

Her kisses grew hungry as she made her way back down, this time more decided. And as she slipped lower beneath the covers, Wednesday’s touch followed, sliding from her ribs to her shoulder, then into her hair, where her fingers tangled gently. Enid gasped, her body trembling so violently she feared she would falter in her devotion, unable to honour Wednesday’s as it deserved. Wednesday’s hips lifted with every shift of Enid’s lips, wordlessly urging her toward the ache that waited for her there.

Only when Enid and Wednesday remained, when Dahlia and Ghost had melted away completely, fading like frost before the coming thaw, did they surrender to sleep. Their physical bodies and their minds had finally been bound, and their connection was the only truth the night would allow to endure.

_________________

Little time had passed before Enid had awoken again, panicked.

She had tried to count the freckles on Wednesday’s cheeks in order to keep herself awake, constantly losing her train of thought, but never detaching her eyes from her. She didn’t want to miss a second. She didn’t dare to fall asleep again, for the risk of not dreaming of her was a separation she couldn’t bear to endure.

Enid waited for the morning sun to make its inevitable appearance. She sighed, finally allowing the tension to leave her body. Nothing had changed. Wednesday still slept soundly in her arms, her breath steadily warming the crook of her neck. Their connection hadn’t been killed by the warming rays that dissolved all anonymity, and forced an unprotected exposure.

They were still Enid and Wednesday. Wednesday and Enid.

To be loved by Wednesday Addams was an elixir she would never share with anyone. Enid had struggled to keep her cool as she had watched Wednesday silently put her T-Shirt back on. How beautiful she looked, how inebriating it was, to be so close to the one she adored. She had tried really hard to remember what the curves of Wednesday’s bare body looked like, painfully parting ways with the dimples on her lower back when she had put her shorts back on.

Wednesday had crawled back into bed immediately, making Enid realize that this hadn’t been some ephemeral gift lent to her by some cruel , twisted trick of fate. Wednesday wasn’t going anywhere.

Neither of them had dared to speak, the tension too strong, the truth too bright.

“Do you really think I glow brighter than the heart of a star?” Enid had finally broken the silence.

“You were never supposed to know that.” Wednesday rolled her eyes, a small smile reaching the corner of her lips. “But yes. I do.”

“Nice.” Enid nodded. Her gaze dropped. A small thought had planted itself in her mind in the late hours of the night, one that she didn’t dare to address.

“What is it?” Wednesday asked gently. “What’s on you remind?”

“Isn’t it weird? All of this, I mean. I don’t want you to feel like I chose someone else but Wednesday. Ghost was Wednesday, and that was why I loved her. And you, you rejected Dahlia for me. But Dahlia was me. Don’t you feel weird?”

Wednesday’s hand reached for hers, increasing their physical connection as she thought silently about her answer. How beautiful it was, to be able to witness Wednesday’s mind work in real time.

Smart, kind, beautiful Wednesday. Her Wednesday.

“Enid.” Wednesday started, finally allowing their eyes to meet again. Her voice was solemn, stern as she delivered her vow. “I loved Dahlia. I rejected her because my heart was yours already. You held it so tightly, I already knew I'd never be able to retrieve it. And I didn’t want to. I wanted you to have it. I still do. The only different thing now is that I’ve realized my two favourite people have always been one. You bottle everything I adore, and are the object of all my desires. I prefer it that way. I now rest, content, knowing that we will get to witness together, from the same boat, how time stretches and recoils, and the way leaves turn green and yellow and brown and green again. Before we know it, a million little presents will succeed themselves, one after the other, and we won’t be able to tell where one ends and the other begins. I believe that a hundred winters could pass, and we’d still be watching the snow fall side by side, still waiting for spring to return, still marvelling that the years can change around us while the simple fact of us remains unchanged.”

“You really believe that?” Enid’s voice trembled, but she wasn’t scared.

“I do. With the entirety of my black, rotten heart.”

Enid planted a kiss on Wednesday’s mouth before retreating away immediately. It was ironic, how shy she was to brush Wednesday’s lips in daylight, when under the moonlight her lips had ventured to far more daring territory. Wednesday followed her, never allowing the space between them to grow.

“What now?” Enid whispered against Wednesday’s mouth, after they had kissed long enough that breaking apart, even by just a few millimeters, was bearable.

“We could go on our walk? Perhaps get a milkshake and then come back here? You can tell me about the plot of Barbie's twelve dancing princesses if you want? I’ve been wanting to increase my pain tolerance for horror.”

Enid smiled, her heart now forever filled with unconditional love.

“I think I’d like that very much.”