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Chapter Text

Dustin was home from school sick with the flu. He was mostly over it but was milking it for a couple of extra days. His mom had said that she needed to go into work that day as paediatrics was short staffed just after Christmas and New Year as lot of the hospital staff had gone down with the flu bug Dustin had caught.

Much to Dustin’s chagrin his mom had told him that her boyfriend, Wayne, was coming over to keep an eye on him in case he got worse again. Dustin didn’t mind Wayne, they got on ok, he made his mom happy and treated her much better than his dad ever did. But he had been looking forward to spending the day playing Duck Hunt on the Nintendo he had got for Christmas, uninterrupted whilst his mom was at work.

“Bye, Dusty, Wayne’s just arrived, so I’m off for my shift. You let him know if you need anything.” She came over and checked his temperature as she pressed her hand to his forehead before she hugged him goodbye. Dustin bit back a huff as he paused his game.

“Bye mom. See you later. I might be asleep when you get back this bug is really kicking my ass.” He gave her his best sick voice and a weak cough which made her cluck and hug him tighter.

“Sleep is the best medicine, Dusty, you listen to your body and sleep when you need it.” She kissed his hair and left his room. He could hear her and Wayne’s muffled conversation, which he tuned out to focus on his game. He was vaguely aware of the front door banging shut as he reached the end of level boss. He was solely focused on what he was doing when Wayne came into his bedroom and sat on an old armchair that Dustin had in his room for when his friends came over to play computer games.

“How’s the sick?” Wayne asked with genuine kindness, he looked at Dustin with interest as Dustin tried to blot him out to focus on what he was doing.

“Getting there.” Dustin responded irritably.

“Your mama said you were sick with the flu, I don’t know about you but when I get sick my eyes get mighty sore and tired real quick when I’m watching TV and the like.” Wayne observed thoughtfully, a mischievous smile on his lips. Dustin knew he had been rumbled and turned his full attention to Wayne.

“Yeah, my eyes are getting that way,” he said in his best “I’m sick” voice as he rubbed his eyes, he gave another fake cough.

“Good job I brought something to entertain you with.” He waggled an old looking book that he had on his lap. Dustin could barely contain the eye roll he wanted to give the old man, books on science, sci-fi or fantasy were up his street not whatever dusty-ass book this old codger had brought with him. “In my day television and computer games were called books. When I was your age and I got sick my pops used to read this book to me and when my nephew got sick I used to read it to him, and today I thought I would read it to you…” Wayne told him wryly.

“I like books!” Dustin huffed in his defence; he didn’t like that Wayne thought he might not be well read. “I read all the kid’s books at the library by the time I was ten.” He boasted, it was a fact he was proud of. Wayne put his hands up to placate him.

“I didn’t mean to offend you.” Wayne said politely.

“What’s this book you’re so eager to share with me about?”

“What’s it not about! It’s got everything. Fencing, fighting, torture, revenge, giants, monsters, chases, escapes, true love, miracles…” Wayne eagerly explained.

“It doesn’t sound too bad.” Dustin shrugged, wiggling down in bed to get comfier. “I’ll try and stay awake.”

“I’m glad you like the sound of it, your vote of confidence is overwhelming, if you’re ready, would you like me to begin?” Wayne said dryly as he placed his glasses on to the bridge of his nose.

Dustin nodded and Wayne began to read…

“The year that Steve was born the most handsome man alive was a French florist named Bellamy… Bellamy’s beauty did not go unnoticed, particularly by the duchesse, who spent her days making eyes at him when he delivered flowers to their chateau. This drove the duc, her husband wild with jealousy. He spent his time devising ways to make Bellamy’s beauty disappear. The duc came up with a devious plan to dye the poor man’s golden locks blue. He waited until the poor florist exited their chateau and elbowed a bucket of woad steeped water off a window ledge and on to the unsuspecting man below. Staining his skin and hair a permanent blue.

When Steve was ten years old the most attractive man alive was a Bengali man called Tahmid, a weaver, who had the most beautiful complexion and gorgeous ebony curls. Unfortunately for Tahmid his reign as most beautiful man in the world did not last long for the pox arrived in Bengal and though Tahmid survived his brush with the disease his gorgeous complexion did not.

When Steve was fifteen years old Milo, a tailor from York in the north of England, was the most stunning man alive. His lush brown hair, sparkling blue eyes and dapper moustache made him notable with the local men and women alike. It was regrettable that he was travelling to a nearby town when he was set upon by vagabonds who stole his wares and cut off his nose as a reminder that all beauty can fade.

Steve did not know that on his eighteenth birthday that he was in fact the most beautiful man alive. He lived on a farm in a land called Florin, which was in between where Sweden and Germany would one day be, and only cared about himself, he knew he was good looking for he saw the eyes of others trail after him when he went for his daily rides through the countryside, this did nothing to help him develop a decent personality. Though he was physically handsome he lacked the kind and generous disposition one would hope would go with it. It took his parents dying and leaving the upkeep of the farm in his sole care to begin to change the way he acted.

The other thing that helped Steve to develop a decent personality was the fact he needed help to run the farm. He put an advertisement out in the local square. The young man he hired was a year his senior, a lithe and wiry man with shoulder length brown curls and large dark brown eyes who was quick to smile. He seemed to be a juxtaposition of traits, chatty but thoughtful, kind but quick witted and seemed to be in perpetual motion. His name was Eddie, and no matter the task Steve gave him, whether big or small all he ever said to Steve in response was “as you wish”.

The pair went about their daily chores often in companionable silence, unless Steve asked Eddie to do something in particular. Steve had never really had any friends or even companions before he had met Eddie. His beauty causing jealousy and arguments amongst his peers which had made Steve to seek his own company. Realising that people thought he was easy on the eye and willing to let him get away with things others didn’t had turned his head, making him selfish and spiteful.

However, hardship can sometimes be the making of people. Having to run a farm for while single handedly before Eddie joined him meant that he was far more grateful for the help and kindness of others than he had been before his fair-weather friends had abandoned him.

It was the fact that Eddie was always quick to help Steve without the expectation of anything more that caught Steve’s attention. Eddie didn’t want popularity and wasn’t interested in climbing the social ladder that being had made others want to be friends with Steve in the past, he simply seemed to enjoy Steve’s company which made Steve feel seen for the first time in his life. It was the quiet winter evenings the pair spent together before the hearth with a cup of mead and a shared simple meal of bread and cheese, spent in each other’s company. Card games and laughter over favourite stories and farfetched tales. Summer evenings in the pastures with the cattle watching the stars blossom in the evening sky, making wishes on falling stars should they happen to spot one. Steve had never known anyone in the way he had gotten to know Eddie over winding of the seasons. He enjoyed the young man’’s company more than anyone else that he had ever met.

A year had gone by before Steve was amazed to realise that when Eddie said, “as you wish” what he was really meant was “I love you”. Steve was awake all-night thinking about this revelation. He came to the realisation that he was also in love with the farm boy he had hired. By morning he had come to the conclusion that if Eddie’s love was a grain of sand, then his would be a universe of beaches so infatuated with the beautiful and thoughtful young man was he. He didn’t want to keep this feeling to himself, what good was feeling this way if he couldn’t share the way he felt with the one he loved. The problem was how would he let the other young man know. Though he could form the words in thought, getting them out his mouth was another matter entirely.

It was winter and Steve was baking in the kitchen of the large cottage his parents had left him when Eddie came in with more firewood, a need that Eddie had fulfilled without Steve even having to ask. He looked frozen to the bone as he stamped the snow off his feet on the doorstep, Steve’s heart went out to the slender young man. Eddie was about to leave the cottage to get on with one of his other jobs for that day when Steve felt that if he didn’t do something then and now, he would never have the courage to make a move on the gentle young man.

“Farm-boy!” Steve called as Eddie opened the door to leave, he quickly looked around for something, anything that Eddie could help him with. “Fetch me that pitcher?” He asked looking up above him at the earthenware jug that was hung on a peg just above his head. He could feel a blush heat his cheeks as Eddie turned from the door with a fond smile. He paused with a small smile on his face as if waiting for Steve to say something, he tilted his head. “P-please.” Steve added.

He leaned over Steve and gently unhooked the pitcher all the while holding Steve’s gaze, a playful smirk danced across his lips. He held out the jug for Steve to take, “as you wish,” he whispered as Steve took it from him.

Steve placed it on the table he was using to knead bread at and brought a flour dusted hand up to cup Eddie’s cheek and draw him down into a kiss-

“Ewwww, stop, stop! Are you trying to trick me? Where are the giants? Where’s the fencing? Is this a kissing book?” Dustin cried in disgust.

“Wait, just wait. Keep your shirt on let me read.” Wayne grumbled with a frown with a frown, like everyone in their right mind liked romance. Wayne continued to read the story aloud, Dustin watched him suspiciously, doubting that there really was going to be all the things he had promised there would be.

…Eddie had no money for marriage to Steve; he wanted them to have a good life together. Steve shouldn’t have to worry about them making ends meet. Despite Steve’s protests Eddie had made up his mind to leave Florin to seek his fortune across the sea in the new world (this was just after the America’s had been discovered, but long after fortunes).

“I’ll save every penny I earn except what I need to eat, sweetheart, just you see the new world will be the making of me. I’ll be back before you know it and we can begin our lives together.” Eddie argued his case as Steve gave him a bitchy stare. “I don’t want our lives together to begin in hardship when we could have comfort.”

“Don’t you like what we have already, Eddie?” Steve crossed his arms defensively, “I already own the farm, it’s mine and if we get married. It’ll be yours too.”

“Don’t you dream of something grander than farm work, princess? Don’t you want to ditch this place and make something of our lives?” Eddie paced, throwing his arms in the air in exasperation. This argument was a tiresome nightly occurrence lately.

“Like what, Eds? We already have our own place; it’s not like we’re doing badly.”

“Don’t you want something more than this? Something more than some ass backwards town in the middle of the sticks in Florin? A bit more adventure?” Eddie tried again.

“No, Eds. I don’t. I’ve aways dreamed small, I’ve always wanted a small cosy home with someone I love and possibly a family. Even if that family is made up of two people. I don’t need to see the world if I have the love and support of someone who loves me.” It dawned on Steve that his dream might not be enough for Eddie and that he might need to get this out of his system before he settled down, it might not be about the money at all. He didn’t want to clip Eddie’s wings and shit on his dreams, who was he to curtail the man he loved when all that would do would build resentment. “If this is something you need to do though, beautiful, then I’ll support you. Everyone deserves the opportunity to chase their dreams. No matter how big or small.”

The smile Eddie gave him was all the reward he needed, Eddie pulled him close and leant his forehead against Steve’s.

“This is why I love you, angel, I couldn’t ask for someone better than you.”

“You have talent, Eds, I wouldn’t want you to squander it.” Steve smiled as he lost himself in Eddie’s chocolate drop eyes. Eddie would play his lute in the evenings, singing well known ballads and ditties of his own devising. He was an amazing minstrel, and he deserved the fame he desired through seeking his fortune with the music he created.

A few days later Eddie packed his few belongings and his lute and left the farm to seek his fortune across the sea. It was a very emotional time for Steve who was trying to be as supportive of his boyfriends as possible. Their parting was painful for both parties, for despite wanting to chase his dream, Eddie didn’t want to part from his beloved.

“I fear I’ll never see you again.” Steve murmured into Eddie’s shoulder as the clung to each other in their parting.

“Of course, you will.” Eddie smiled at him sadly.

“But what if something happens to you?” Steve pulled away so he could look Eddie in the eye. Eddie used his thumb to wipe away the tears that streaked Steve’s face.

“Hear this now, I will always come for you.” Eddie said with all the certainty that being young, dumb and in love brought.

“But, how can you be sure?” Steve persisted.

“This is true love. You think this happens every day?” They kissed once more, and Eddie left the farm with a confident if tearful wave. (Dustin mimed barfing to Wayne).

Whilst Eddie was away Steve’s love for him continued to grow. People in the village would stop him the village to ask about how Eddie was getting on with his journey mesmerised by Steve’s beauty, they wanted to spend time with him basking in shared glory. It was almost as if they thought his beauty might be contagious. However, despite that the villagers soon realised that this was double edged sword, you would become popular by association, but you had to spend at least an hour listening to Steve wax lyrical about how wonderful Eddie was.

Which was why when news reached Steve that Eddie had been murdered by pirates off the coast of the Florida’s that his death hit Steve the way it did.

Eddie had written to him before he had set sail, he was a persistent letter writer, writing each day telling Steve all he saw and heard, writing him love songs which he performed in taverns along the road. Steve hadn’t had a letter in three weeks which was to be expected, Eddie was at sea. News came from one of Steve’s former suiters when he she dropped by to pick up the milk delivery for the market.

Eddie’s ship had been attacked by the Dread Pirate Roberts who never left his captives alive. When Steve got the news that Eddie was murdered, he locked himself into their room. For days Steve neither slept nor ate.

Steve felt completely numb with grief, he knew that there would never be another for him now that he had lost Eddie and though he would never stop himself from living he would never love again. Life lost all meaning for Steve for several years; he went through the motions. Food no longer tasted as it used to everything tasted bland. He would cover his ears if he was walking through the village and happened to hear a tune. The world seemed to exist in shades of grey where once it was filled with every hue imaginable. He was simply waiting for the day that he could join Eddie once more.

Chapter Text

“Murdered by pirates is good, at least we can move on from all the mushy stuff and get to the good stuff.” Dustin commented as Wayne paused at the end of the chapter. Wayne chuckled good naturedly.

“You might be less inclined to be against physical expressions of love if your girlfriend didn’t live in Utah.”

“That was rude as hell, Wayne.” Dustin scowled at the older man, making the bald man laugh harder. “Just get on with the story, I’m giving it a chance here.”

“As you wish.” Wayne smirked as Dustin rolled his eyes.

“Steve’s grief had given his beauty a depth that it had previously lacked, he was a little thinner making his jawline more prominent. But it was the knew found knowledge of the human experience that etched itself around his eyes and the way he held himself in his grief that made Steve the most stunning creature to have lived in over a hundred years. Beauty such as Steve’s comes with consequences despite it being a simple fluke of genetics.

Which was why five years later the main square in the capital of Florin was filled as never before to hear he announcement of the great Prince Thomas’ groom to be. The square was filled with performers, stalls, laughter, chatter and drinking. Of course, drinking; drinking was the past time that brought all classes of people together. If there was booze, then all classes would happily rub shoulders with each other, getting on in a way they wouldn’t usually do sober.

A fanfare started from the steps of the castle and Prince Thomas appeared on a balcony above, raising his hand in greeting. He smiled down, beneficent, at his people below. Clustered to his sides were his parents, who were in a state of gentle decline in their old age and his right-hand man Count Brenner. Prince Thomas was a short and stocky man with unfortunately coarse dark red hair, which he chose to wear to his shoulders because if he didn’t it looked like the bristles on a brush. His courtiers had obviously tried to style it in loose curls which were the fashion of the day, but these were already dropping out, due to the texture of his hair, as he took to the balcony to address his loyal subjects below. Surprisingly, with ailing parents Prince Thomas was in no hurry to be king, for if he was king, he would have no time for his first love, which was hunting. His second love was war making. He excelled at each of these hobbies as he made sure he never went a day with out killing something or devising a new way to go about killing something. Prince Thomas was a deeply unpleasant specimen of a human being despite the doting and loving family he had grown up with.

Prince Thomas had initially enjoyed hunting large animals as he could hang their heads on the wall of his court as trophies. He and Count Brenner sought more dangerous animals than Florin had in its borders for the prince to hunt and so they had created the Zoo of Death which housed dangerous beasts from far and wide which could be released into the wild for the prince to track.

Once he was singularly engaged in the task of hunting, the prince would neither sleep nor eat until he had caught and killed his prey. The Zoo of Death, as you could probably tell by the name, was not your usual run of the mill animal sanctuary. It was manned by an older man who was quite intelligent and who enjoyed tending the animals in his care, by the name of Owens, he liked making sure that the beasts were well fed and watered, their stalls kept clean. The animals were always in good condition and weakness was immediately eliminated. The zoo was underground away from the prying eyes of his subjects and the court, it housed five levels of creatures, each more dangerous and intelligent than the last. Only four levels were inhabited because they had never found a creature devious and intelligent enough to inhabit the last level.

The prince thought about his zoo as he addressed his subjects.

“My people, a month from now our glorious country will have its five hundredth anniversary, on that sundown, I shall marry a man who was once a commoner like yourselves. Would you like to meet him?” Prince Thomas’ plummy accent rebounded off the walls of the square as the people filling it erupted in cheers and hollers of enthusiasm. It had been Count Brenner’s idea for him to marry a commoner and at first, he had been resistant to the idea, for weren’t commoners dirty, smelly, ill-bred, and unintelligent? How could such a catch as he be subject to someone of such low birth?

But then Brenner had explained that he would be one of the most popular kings in all of Florin’s history, by marrying a commoner it made it seem like he was approachable and had the best interests of the nation at heart as he would be closer to the issues that effected them. Plus it wouldn't put him out too much to kill a peasant when he had his newly betrothed murdered to start a war with the neighbouring country of Gilder. War was always lucrative if you knew which side to back. The cheering below had reached a fever pitch. He held his arm out to the side where his newly betrothed would exit to greet their people for the first time.

“Perhaps you won’t find him so common now…”

The commoner that Count Brenner had chosen for him was a beautiful specimen, there was an in-take of breath as his betrothed exited the building. He had golden skin; a smattering of moles that made him look like he was dotted with stars. His chestnut hair was naturally sun streaked and fell in waves about his chiselled face. He was innately graceful, the haunted look that lingered in his eyes only served to accentuate his loveliness. The peasants and members of the court below couldn’t take their eyes off him.

“… I give you Prince Stephen!”

*

As Steve slowly exited the building, to meet the adoring public he could hear calling his name outside, dressed in fabrics that would have bought his farm twice over, emptiness consumed him. Although the law of the land gave Prince Thomas the right to choose his spouse Steve did not love him.

Count Brenner had arrived at Steve’s farm four years after Eddie had been killed by the Dread Pirate Roberts having heard rumours of Steve’s exquisite beauty. He had made it very clear that Steve had no choice about whether he would marry the heir to the throne, being unwed and unintended.

Despite Prince Thomas’ assurances that he would grow to love him over the time they were married it had broken Steve’s heart a second time to think that the person he would end up marrying wasn’t going to be Eddie, the person he shared his days, evening and bed with wouldn’t be the minstrel farm boy that only lived on in his heart. It was in this moment that he missed Eddie more than anything. This was not the simple and cozy life of loving and being loved Steve had envisioned for himself once Eddie had finished making a name for himself. This was a life of drifting through the vast castle being unseen and misunderstood, his only value in being another object to be collected and adored. A trophy like the heads of all the animals the prince had killed that had adorned the walls of the castle. The thought of it destroyed him, the contrast between what he could have had compared to what his future would hold. If he was forced to marry Prince Thomas Steve was going to make sure that he would take his own life on his wedding night rather than go through with the consummation. His body, heart and soul belonged to Eddie and he would not be sullied by another person.

The only bright spot in Steve’s life was his daily ride through the lands surrounding the capital on his horse. He had been allowed to bring Lady with him to the castle, the only remnant of his old life that existed in his new one. He closed his eyes as the forest rushed by him taking great breaths laced with petrichor, the only moment he felt free of the burden of grief. It almost felt like he was flying. Steve took his hands from the reigns and braced his legs against Lady’s sides as he held his hands out, feeling the movement of the air beneath his fingers.

They were about an hour away from the castle when they came across a troupe of three people in the road. One was tall, taller and broader than Steve with a dark moustache and a hard stare, another a young woman around his own age with dirty blonde hair cut bluntly off at her jaw and a thin scar on each of her cheeks, her hand rested gently on a sword at her hip, freckles sprinkled over her nose and cheeks, the third was a younger girl with shorn hair and large eyes in her thin pale face. Steve and Lady came to a halt, it was rare that they came across anyone in this area, there weren’t any roads for miles, they must have got lost.

“A word my lord, we are but poor lost circus performers, is there a village nearby that would enjoy our skills?” The tall man spoke in a rich deep voice.

“No, there is nothing nearby. Not for miles.” Steve answered confused.

“Then there will be no one to hear you scream.” The man’s lips curled into a cruel smile under his moustache. The young girl held her hand out tensing her fingers into a claw, focusing her concentration on Steve. His arms snapped to his sides, and he felt himself gently rise out of his saddle into the waiting arms of the man with the moustache. A gag was placed in his mouth and his arms and legs firmly tied in place. Lady shook her head and timidly pranced on the spot as the woman with short hair and freckles approached Lady ripping at a piece of fabric.

“What is that?” asked the youngest of the three.

“It’s the emblem of an army officer from Guilder.” The woman with bobbed hair explained. “It’ll make the people who find his horse think that Gildarians have abducted the prince’s love.”

“Are the Guildarian’s bad men?” The young girl asked softly.

“They’re the sworn enemy of Florin, El. They already think they’re bad men.” The young woman replied as she smacked Lady on her rump sending her flying in the direction of the castle.

Steve was swung up on to the big guy’s shoulder and carried aboard a small ship that was waiting nearby. Where he was deposited on the deck as the three began to prepare the ship for sail.

“But why?” The girl persisted.

“When the prince finds his body dead on the Guilder frontier then the prince’s suspicions will be totally confirmed.” The bearded man said smugly. So, that was to be Steve’s fate, not that he minded particularly, he was simply going to meet Eddie again sooner rather than later.

“You never said anything about killing anyone, Hopper.” The girl, El, whispered her eyes huge and sad.

“I hired you to help me start a war, it’s a prestigious line of work with a long and glorious tradition.” Hopper bit out, his patience rapidly ebbing.

“I just do not think it is right to kill an innocent man.” El countered as she used her mysterious powers to unfurl the sail.

“Good job I didn’t hire you to think then isn’t it.” The older man’s voice began to rise, pointing his finger at the girl as she stood her ground.

“I agree with El.” The woman with sandy blonde hair bounced over the side of the boat.

“Oh, the oracle has spoken!” Sarcasm dripped from the man, Hopper’s, words. “What happens is not your concern, I will kill him. And remember this, when I found you, you were a filthy street urchin, selling your body for money on the streets of Florin to get by. You couldn’t even afford a penny hang over.” Hopper was screaming now as he laid into the young woman, she blushed red with shame at the memories he forced her to remember. Steve’s heart went out to her. No one deserved to go through that or have it flung in their face. Hopper was also red in the face, Steve wondered if he would suffer an apoplexy when he rounded on the waif in his fury. “And you! You were a friendless, mute, in that dungeon the Count had created for the prince’s beasts. Do you want me to send you back to where I found you? Being experimented on by Brenner and Owens?” El folded in on herself, bracing her arms around her skinny frame as she held back tears. The woman appeared by the girl’s side and placed her arms around her, rubbing her back in soothing circular motions. The wind caught the sail, and they began to make their way down the estuary towards the open sea. Steve desperately wanted to take care of El, she looked so broken when Hopper had threatened to send her back.

*

The evening had closed in, and it was now fully dark, the sounds of water lapped about the small vessel, land had long since disappeared from the horizon. Steve had been given a blanket as night descended and the air had rapidly cooled, and he had spent the time working at the ropes on his wrists and ankles unseen.

The crew were once again bickering. This time about a small ship the blonde woman had spotted that seemed to be following them.

“Do you really think it is following us, Robin?” El asked in a quiet voice, like she didn’t want to set another of Hopper’s rants off.

“Why do you keep doing that?” Hopper’s voice boomed across their tiny ship as Robin drew his ire.

“I’m sure I can see something following us.” Robin said in an emotionless tone, as she glared at the big man, before she and El turned to look once again over the water.

“That would be inconceivable, we have a huge head start, no one could possibly catch us.” Hopper rolled his eyes in derision.  

“Despite what you think, you will be caught.” Steve said drawing the big man’s attention his way. “And when you are, the prince will see that you are hung.” He narrowed his eyes at the ship’s captain. He didn’t think the other two deserved the same sentence, from what he had learned about them they were simply doing what they were doing to survive. This ship was infinitely better than the situations they had previously found themselves in, no wonder they were doing Hopper’s bidding if they felt like it was the only option they had.

“Of all the necks on this boat, highness, the one you should worry about is your own.” Hopper said threateningly. Robin and El once again looked over the bow of the ship that Robin was steering, making Hopper focus his attention on them.

“Stop doing that, Buckley, it’s almost over, we’re nearly at the Cliffs of Insanity. No one in Guilder knows what we’ve done and no one in Florin could have gotten here so fast.” Hopper huffed and wiggled down getting himself more comfortable on the pile of ropes he sat on, he placed his hands behind his head. “Why do you keep looking over there?” His curiosity had finally got the better of him.

“I-I looked over and that ship is definitely gaining on us.” Robin stood nervously wringing her hands as Hopper joined the other two at the bow of the ship.

“Don’t be ridiculous! It’s probably some fisherman getting an early start before his competitors.” Hopper squinted into the distance.

With them all distractedly looking at the closing vessel Steve thought it would be his best option for his escape, he was a good swimmer having spent his youth with the other village kids swimming at a lake near the village. He would simply swim to the other ship, and they would rescue him. He shook off the ropes and took a running leap overboard. The water was colder than expected but wasn’t anything he couldn’t cope with, he forged his way through the waves to the ship in the distance, his rich clothes heavier now than when they were dry.

He could hear a commotion erupt behind him as the three of them realised what had happened. That wasn’t what bothered him. An eerie cacophony had erupted around him that was growing louder with each passing moment. His heart began to race as he panicked, something beneath the surface brushed against his leg making him jump.

“Do you know what that sound is, highness?” Hopper’s voice travelled over the water to him with barely concealed glee. Steve turned to see him, treading water, his heart in his throat. “Those are the Shrieking Eels, they only grow louder when they’re about to feed on human flesh! If you come back now, I promise you no harm will come to you.” Steve thought this was highly unlikely, something brushed his shoulder as the sound grew to deafening proportions. Out of the corner of Steve’s eye a large creature reared out of the water moving towards him at speed, there was no way he could escape-

“You know, Dustin, Steve doesn’t get eaten by the eels at this point.” Wayne said kindly. breaking Dustin out of his imagination. He found that he was gripping his comforter for dear life, his eyes were dry from not blinking, as he had been staring at Wayne.

“Son of a bitch!” Dustin said incredulously. “It was just getting good!”

“I was just reassuring you, because you’re looking nervous.” Wayne patted his shoulder. “It’s nothing to be ashamed of my nephew always used to get het up at this bit too.”

“I’m not nervous, this is the best bit yet,” Dustin whined. “Maybe I was a little bit concerned about Steve’s welfare but that’s not the same thing.”

“We can take a break now if you want.” Wayne offered.

“Are you insane, you can’t stop there! I need to know what happens to Steve!” Dustin exclaimed, making Wayne chuckle at his enthusiasm.

“Fine, fine, where were we?” He scanned the page.

“…Out of the corner of Steve’s eye a large creature reared out of the water moving towards him at speed, there was no way he could escape. Suddenly he was lifted from the water by an unseen force, his limbs flailing to get purchase on thin air, and plonked unceremoniously on the deck soaking wet where El placed a blanket over him to keep him warm whilst Hopper retied his bonds.

“That ship is definitely closer now, Hopper!” Robin called from the rudder she was using to navigate.

“It’s no concern of ours! Sail on!” Hopper bit out as he roughly pulled the ropes tight against Steve’s wrists. “I suppose you think you’re brave, don’t you, highness?” He looked sternly at Steve.

“I suppose so.” Steve shrugged with as much nonchalance as he could muster. He had found that being blasé was the best way to deal with people on a power trip. It was something he regularly employed when Prince Thomas was trying to get a rise out of him.

They sailed on through the night, by the time the pale dawn broke through the cloud cover revealing the Cliffs of Insanity looming in the distance, the ship that had been trailing them was so close that they could start picking out details. This caused more arguments amongst the ship’s crew to flare up as Hopper’s anxiety about the person or persons following them began to be harder to contain.

Robin navigated them to a natural harbour for them to weigh anchor at.

“They’re virtually on top of us.” She warned as they disembarked on the rocky cove they had found. “I wonder if he’s been using the same wind we are using.” Robin prattled nervously.

“It doesn’t matter, we’re here now. Scuttle the boat, we’re not coming back this way anyway.” Hopper instructed Robin as he lugged Steve on land. Once the boat had begun to take on water Hopper and his crew gathered at the bottom of the cliffs that towered seven hundred feet above them.

Chapter Text

Standing at the base of the seven hundred foot seemingly sheer cliffs, Steve wondered how they were ever going to scale them without any equipment. Hopper was yelling at El as Robin lashed the four of them tightly together with a length of rope. Once she was finished, she placed a gentle hand on El’s shoulder and told her, “You can do this, I believe in you, El.”

Steve could hear Hopper’s eyeroll when he said, “whenever you’re ready, it’s not like we haven’t got someone after us after all.” He felt El steel herself with a shoulder roll and suddenly they were rising off the ground as one. Steve gasped as the ground fell away from them. He knew that El had powers, but he did not realise how great they were, no wonder someone had tried to imprison her, she would be valuable to whoever held her allegiance.

Steve’s heart felt like it was trying to exit out of his body through his stomach as they climbed ever higher without anything to support them. He noticed El wipe her nose as blood slowly dripped from one of her nostrils. Was that a bad thing? The other two did not seem overly worried. Steve wondered whether Hopper’s constant derision of her performance was hindering or helping her progress, he knew that with his own father when he would berate him it made him less inclined to do as requested. The memories of his father’s comments were an ever-present tender spot on his memory like an indelible bruise. He tried to focus on that rather than being suspended hundreds of feet in the air.

“Oh my god, he’s climbing…” Robin breathed looking below them. Steve gulped and took a deep breath as he looked down. Sure enough, there was a lithe looking person, dressed all in black scaling the cliffs below them. They were using dips and handholds in the rock to work their way up, and they appeared to be gaining on them. The four of them were over halfway up now.

“I was told of your great prowess by Count Brenner, he told me you were the stuff of legend, and yet here we are being gained on by someone scaling a supposedly unscalable cliff. It’s inconceivable that he should be able to climb it let alone gain on us!” Hopper fumed at El. Steve wanted him to shut up desperately and let El focus on her task.

El suddenly bit back. “I would like to see you try to do this, hell, I would like to see you get up here on your own with a rope let alone lift four people with your mind.” Steve folded his lips together and tried not to smile. He heard Robin choke back a laugh. Hopper spluttered in shock at El finally standing up for herself.

They were two thirds of the way there and El was looking more wan than usual, her nosebleed now a near constant flow. Steve was really concerned that she might flag before they reached the top. He reached out an placed a kindly hand on her shoulder.

“You know, El, I believe you are more powerful than you think you are.” He said gently. “My dad was like Hopper, and he would say things that were hurtful, and they made me angry. Do you know what I did with that anger?” He ignored Hopper’s scoff and pretended he wasn’t there. A trick he had learnt from his dad. El shook her head. “I used it to my advantage; I used it to focus all that hurt into the sports I played. I became very good at football and archery and took out my pain on the playing field. Do you think you could use that anger to strengthen your powers? Use all that pain to prove them all wrong.” El closed her eyes and they wavered to a stop in midair. Robin gave a small gasp as she suddenly clung to Steve’s hand. El set her face in grim determination and suddenly they were rising more swiftly than before, her nosebleed had slowed.

Hopper grumbled under his breath, as he continually watched the person in black continue to doggedly climb the cliff below them. Steve could finally see the top of the cliffs as seabirds screeched around them for disturbing their nesting grounds, he wondered if the person in black would get to this point only to be pecked to death by an albatross or whatever they were. They wheeled close to them and dived at them to try and rid them from their home.

By the time El had managed to get them safely to the top of the cliffs they all bore scratches from the birds. Hopper immediately began to yell orders to his henchmen as he bound Steve’s wrists. Steve looked about him, they seemed to be in a sort of ruined castle of some kind. It would have certainly been a good defensive position back in its heyday.

“Robin, you stay here and finish them off when they climb over the cliff top. Whoever they are they must have somehow seen us with the prince and must therefore die. You,” he pointed to El, “are coming with us.” El looked like she was about to collapse from the amount of effort she had expended from hauling them up the cliff with her powers. She was in no fit state to go anywhere. She was extremely pale and could barely stand.

“I’ll carry her,” Steve volunteered, “get on my back.” El clambered onto Steve’s back hooking her legs though his arms as Hopper grabbed his wrists.

Hopper looked back at Robin, “we’re heading straight to the Guilder frontier, meet us there once you’ve finished the problem. If they fall great, if not use the sword.” He began to lead them away from Robin.

“I’m going to duel them left-handed.” Robin told them as Hopper tried to leave.

“Whatever. Just get the job done by whatever means you deem fit.” Hopper said, obviously beginning to feel the stress as his plans had begun to unravel.

“Robin,” El called over wearily, “be careful, people in masks can’t be trusted.” Hopper dragged Steve (and El) away from the cliff top and into rolling green countryside setting a gruelling pace.

*

Robin hadn’t always led a life of vagrancy; she had once lived a life where the name of Buckley was well thought of and sought after. Her mother was a great sword maker. They lived in a city that would eventually become known as Barcelona. Robin loved her mother, though her mother was quite distant and short tempered with Robin. Robin had been put to work in the family ironmongery since she was old enough to walk, she was also taught to fence and was instructed in the art two hours every day by her father before he had succumbed to a wasting disease. By the time of his passing, when Robin was eight, she excelled in the art for her age. Her mother seemed to blame her father’s passing on her and this only made Robin determined to love her mother more. Love is many things, but logical it is not, not that it ever claimed to be.

Robin’s mother’s swords were not just weapons they were works of art, of superb craftmanship. If you were willing to wait for a sword that was as finely balanced as it was beautiful you headed to Barcelona to the Buckley’s workshop. When Robin was nine years old, she crossed paths with a man who sought out her mother to create a sword that would help him with a peculiarity that hindered his fencing skills. It was Robin’s job to take down the specifications given to her by customers for her mother. She took this responsibility very seriously.

“I need to know what this peculiarity is so that we can accommodate for it during the swords crafting.” Robin said as she wrote down the particular embellishments the man would like. He lifted his right hand and waggled his fingers in a silly little wave; he had six fingers on his right hand. “Of course, that would impact your fencing style, all grips are made to accommodate five fingers, a truly great swordsman would be impacted by the shortness between the pommel and the ricasso. A truly great sword should feel like an extension of the arm and almost natural part of your hand; it should never cause discomfort.” Robin explained as she measured up the man’s hand.

When Robin’s mother received the instructions, she was frenzied, set a light with inspiration. It was an unusual ask, for she had never been asked to make a sword that would need such unique balancing and such refined embellishments. Her mother told the customer that it would take a year to complete a sword such as this. To which the six fingered man agreed. The creation of the sword consumed her mother’s life, she slept only when she dropped from exhaustion, ate only what Robin made her eat. She was obsessed. She researched, fretted, and planned endlessly. Spent weeks trying to get the balance just right before scraping it and starting over because she wasn’t happy with it. She did this again and again, until one day Robin woke up to find her mother gazing at the sword she had balanced on her fingertip. It was perfectly balanced, both lethal and exquisite. She had done it, it was complete.

A few days later the six fingered man returned to claim his prize.

The six fingered man weighed his prize then declared that it was not worth the five hundred gold pieces that had been the asking price.

“It’s worth ten max,” The man shrugged, “it definitely was not worth the wait of a year for something as common as this.” He flicked the sword his mother devoted a year of her life to, with disdain. Like all rich men he believed that he should get something for as little as possible, no matter who they hurt, tread on, or mistreat in the process.

Robin’s mother stood her ground, she had suffered for her craft, and she was not going to let anyone dissuade her of its worth. “Then don’t take it, here is your down payment.” She reached into the drawer on the underside of their table and and flung it at him matching his attitude.

“I said I’d take the sword.” For the man still wanted his prize he just wasn’t willing to pay for art like the sword Robin’s mother had created, “it’s just not worth what you are asking for it.”

Robin’s mother spun round to face the man who towered over her. “You quibbled and you did not appreciate craftmanship and art when you saw it. You did not appreciate the blood sweat and tears that went into its creation. Beauty was there for the taking, it could have been yours, but you only thought about your fat purse. I know what its worth because I created it and I can deny it to you. Now go, there is no longer a reason for you to be here.”

“The sword,” the man stated.

“The sword belongs to my daughter, for she is the only person worthy of it.”

“You are a peasant and a fool, and I want what I came for,” the man stated again, his face a mask displaying no emotions.

“You, sir, are an enemy of art and craftmanship and I pity your ignorance.” These were the last words that Robin’s mother ever uttered for before Robin knew it the six fingered man drew his old sword and plunged it through her mother’s heart.

Robin screamed and grabbed her mother’s creation from where it lay, she was much smaller than the noble man who had slain her mother. A skinny child holding a sword much too long for her. She screamed as she charged at the stranger giving him enough time to wheel round and prepare to duel with the gawky girl. Though she matched his skill, he was hindered by a sword that was not made to accommodate his peculiarity, she was no match for his strength. Her mother’s sword was quickly knocked from her grasp, and two quick slashes sliced her cheeks, one on each side.

“A reminder to never confront your betters.” With that he left the shop, leaving Robin to mourn her mother and fan the flames of a vendetta that would keep her going no matter what hardships she would face. Robin had to sell what little her parents owned in the workshop to bury her mother. When she could not keep up with the rent she was turned out on the streets. She never gave up the sword her mother had created, even when she had gone without food for several days, she had sold her body to afford food, rather than sell her sword. Something that she refused to be ashamed about. If they sold food at a price not everyone could afford in a world of abundance, then it was society that was at fault for the price they put on it, not hers for being priced out. It was not her fault that she found herself put in a situation where selling herself was the only option if she didn’t wish to face starvation. How did rich people live with themselves knowing they reduced their people thus? Surely it was them that should be ashamed. How can any sane person be comfortable with people starving to death whilst having the means to stop it from happening.

She continued to practice sword craft daily as she wondered from city to city looking for the six fingered man. And so, as she impatiently waited (patience was never her strong suit) for the person in black to appear over the edge of the cliff she made a decision that would change the trajectory of her life.

The person in black was nearly at the top, they looked like they were flagging slightly and had slowed their pace somewhat. This wouldn’t do, if she was going to duel someone and actually put herself through her paces, she needed them to not be exhausted by the time they duelled. She would need to duel them left-handed, obviously, to give herself a handicap and to give them a fighting chance.

“I see you’re taking you time there.” She yelled to the person below her.

“I’d like to see you try climbing seven hundred feet of cliff for fun sometime. I know I make this look easy, but it’s not something anyone can do.” The man below her bit back.

“Anything I can do to help speed this up?” She offered with a snort. He had a good sense of humour. She liked that. “I could throw you a rope, if you like.” The man sighed like he was being put out.

“Aren’t you just waiting around to kill me? How do I know that you aren’t going to lower the rope and then just let go? It’d be the quickest way to off me.” He pointed out as he continued to climb.

“All good points, all good points, my guy. How about I give you my word that I’ll let you reach the top alive?”

“Look, that’s all well and good, but it’s not like we know each other well or anything, man. You’re just gonna have to suck it up and wait.” The man gritted his teeth and heaved himself over a small outcrop of rock.

"I fucking hate waiting." Robin complained to herself, as she looked for the rope she had wrapped around the four of them on the way up here. She tied it round a rock and tried to persuade the man once more. “What about if I give you my word as swordswoman?”

“No good, I’ve known too many of you, you’d stab me in the back as soon as look at me.” She could hear the annoyance in his voice now.

“Isn’t there anyway you’ll trust me?” She asked in frustration.

“Nothing comes to mind.” He bit out.

“I swear on the soul of my mother, Olivia Buckley, that you will reach the top alive.” She told the man solemnly.

“Fine. Throw me the fucking rope.” The man huffed, looking up at her expectantly. She acquiesced, tossing the rope over the side of the cliff.

Once he had grabbed hold of it, she helped him to haul himself up. It was tiring work; they both heaved a sigh when he finally reached the top. As soon as he was able to stand, he began to withdraw his sword, still struggling for breath. Robin frowned, neither were in any condition to fence well right now.

“Wait until you are ready, neither of us are in a state to do this duel justice right now.” She sat on what was once a step, to catch her breath and wait for her heartrate to settle.

“Thank you, your continued concern for my wellbeing is noted.” The lithe man said with a small nod of his head, as he found a large pillar that had toppled over to sit upon. He took off his black leather boots and upended them removing rubble from his climb.

“I know this may seem like a strange question, but do you by any chance have six fingers on your right hand?” It was a question that she asked any man that she encountered, just in case today happened to be the day that their paths crossed once again and she could finally exact vengeance on behalf of her mother.

“Now that’s a conversation starter and a half, sweetheart, but I’m afraid it’s a no.” He gave Robin a finger wave displaying only five fingers on his black gloved right hand. He tilted his head at Robin in curiosity.

“My mother was slaughtered by a six fingered man.” She explained. “She was a great sword maker; people would come from many places for her to craft them a sword. One of whom was the six fingered man. My mother spent a year creating the sword he specified.” Robin offered the man in black her sword for him to feel the craftmanship. The man in black hefted it, twisting it this way and that getting a feel for her mother’s work.

“I’ve never seen its equivalent.” The man in black complimented as he reverently handed it back to Robin.

“The six fingered man returned and refused to pay my mother what she was owed for her work. He demanded that she turn over the sword. But my mother refused, he didn’t respect the artistry that had gone into making his promised prize. Without another word, he slashed my mother through the heart. I loved my mother, so of course, I challenged this man to duel, but I was merely a gangly child and no match for a fully grown man. I failed. The six fingered man left me alive, but he left me these to remember him by.” Robin ran her finger along the now faded scars on each cheek.

“That’s not on, man, how old were you?” The man in black said in a disgusted tone.

“I was ten years old, I have dedicated my life to the study of fencing so that the next time our paths cross I won’t fail. I will go up to the six fingered man and say ‘hello, my name is Robin Anne Buckley, you killed my mother, prepare to die.’”

“You’ve done nothing but study swordplay?” The man in black asked with genuine interest as she came to sit beside him.

"Well, I've got to eat, drink, and take a shit every now and then." She quipped, making the man in black honk out a laugh that echoed through the ruins that surrounded them. “But a lot of time, yeah. However, revenge doesn’t pay well, and Hopper does, so here we are.” The man in black slapped his thighs and stood.

“Right, let’s do this.”

“You ready?” Robin asked wanting to make sure she hadn’t misread his intentions.

“Whether I am or not, you’ve been more than accommodating.” He drew his sword and took his stance.

“You seem like a decent person; I hate to kill you.” Robin said genuinely as she faced him sword in hand.

“You seem like a decent person; I hate to die.” He responded. Robin nodded to indicate that they should begin. They circled each other getting the measure of one another. Briefly clashing their swords together feeling out the other’s skill. Robin thought it odd that this person also fought with their left hand as well, she hadn’t come across too many left-handed fencers.

Enough of this faffing about, Robin took a couple of steps towards the man in black forcing him back as their swords tangled against each other. The man ducked as she took a swipe at his cheek. He appeared to be well versed in different fencing styles, as their swords glanced off one another as they ranged over the rocky terrain. He certainly wasn’t a hack and slash like most people she had taken on prior to this. Robin felt a thrill course through her as she continuously gave him a run for his money. It wasn’t often that she found someone she could test the depth of her skills against, he was certainly a challenge.

Robin had the man in black cornered by the drop of a crumbled staircase. She thought she might have had him then when he jumped from the ledge and landed on his feet. She huffed in annoyance and took a running jump to vault over his head, landing behind him forcing him to turn and face her. He was faster to recover and was on her with his blade ricocheting of hers forcing her back.

“You are good, I’ll give you that.” She admitted in annoyance as she rapidly approached the cliff edge.

“I should hope so, I’ve put in a lot of hard work. I’m glad it’s paying off.”

“I admit it, you’re better than I am.” It galled her to say it as she felt the heel of her foot slide over the cliff’s edge in a shower of dust and pebbles.

“Then why are you smiling?” He asked.

“Because I know something you don’t know. I am not left-handed!” She tossed her sword in the air to change hands. Instantly she could feel that she was no longer inferior, and she began to take back some of the ground she had lost. It forced the man in black back. Their sword blows became more frenzied as he tried to parry her blade.

She forced him up some steep steps where he stumbled back. He flailed to try and deflect the rain of slashes she brought upon him. He managed to leaver himself up from the spot she had thought that she had him in, and they moved as one to the top of the turret.

“You’re amazing!” He complemented.

“I aught to be, I’ve been training since I was old enough to walk!” She felt that she finally had him now as she leaned her full weight against where he was pressed against the crenelations. It crumbled into air below under their combined weight.

“There’s something I should tell you too.” He ground out. Robin looked at him confused. “I am not left-handed either!” He used all his weight to shove her away and swiftly changed hands. He was on her again never letting up as their blades glanced off each other as she blocked him time and again. Eventually he gained the upper hand as the tip of his blade hooked the intricate quillon of her sword flicking it out of her hand, she heard it clatter to the ground at the bottom of the turret as she tried to edge away down the steps from the man in black.

She couldn’t die like this she had yet to avenge her mother!

She noticed a bracket of metal she could use to swing down from and launched herself at it, nimbly catching hold of it before she released herself to drop down clumsily close to her sword. She picked it up and prepared herself to defend herself once more.

The man in black flicked his sword at a tuft of grass where it embedded itself neatly as he used the same bracket she had in a display of acrobatic prowess before he deftly landed on his feet like a cat next to it. Unlike her own stumble to the ground, it looked like the most natural thing in the world to him. She was in awe of him, if he she hadn’t been asked to kill him Robin would have begged him to take her on as a student.

He retrieved his sword from the tuft of grass and approached her.

“Who are you?” She asked awestruck.

“Wouldn’t you like to know.” He smirked.

“Don’t be facetious, that’s why I asked, dalcop.” She gave him a withering eye roll as she lunged at him.

The ruins once again rang out with the sounds of the clashing blades as they ranged around the decrepit castle. Again, and again their blades jarred against one another furiously. She could feel herself becoming sloppy, purely on the defensive now, her slashes wide and wild, no longer the strict and concise movements she would use otherwise. The tip of his blade managed to make its way past the ricasso to cut into the knuckles of her right hand, the pain making her drop her sword in surprise. He slashed one of her cheeks making her jump back.

Her breaths were ragged as she dropped to her knees. Guilt and shame flooded her body at not being able to fulfil her life’s work. She took a shuddering breath as she pleaded for him to, “kill me quickly.”

He rounded her, she could feel the heat from his body as he stood behind her.

“I would sooner destroy a stained-glass window than an artist as yourself. However, as I can’t have you following me…” She felt the blow to the back of her head and everything went black.

*

El liked this Steve guy, he was kind to her. Not many people were kind to her. The only person who had ever treated her with respect and compassion in her young life was Robin. She loved Robin like the sister she never had. She hoped she was ok and the person in black hadn’t hurt her. Steve seemed to be tireless as he carried her across the countryside. He never once complained as she dozed on his back whilst he was bound and forced to walk at knife point.

El had had a family once; but had been sold to Count Brenner when they came on hard times. She was so young that she had no memories of them from before she was handed over. Owens had said that the reason she had been sold was because she had always manifested powers, even when she was tiny. Count Brenner had heard rumours of the changeling child when he was travelling to find different animals for the Zoo of Death. The family had been shunned due to the strange child’s powers as the community didn’t want to be associated with witchcraft and devilry. El’s family had lived on the edge of the village living hand to mouth. And so, in order to not lose her siblings to starvation her parents had sold their child to Brenner, hoping that her life would be better than the one she had experienced so far and so that her siblings would be given the chance to survive to adulthood.

El had been transported to the Zoo of Death where Brenner and Owens (though he was far nicer to her than Brenner) had tried to examine the extent of El’s powers by rigorously testing her, pushing her to exhaustion every day. When Hopper had arrived at the lab within the prince’s pet project to find people to help him begin a war Brenner had volunteered El.  She knew better than to exhibit any excitement or eagerness or Brenner would prevent her from going. El hadn’t seen the light of day since she had arrived there.

When Hopper had carried her from the underground lab, she had had to wear a thin cloth over her eyes until her eyes had adjusted to the light of day. She had had to get used to the sound of the wind, the rustle of the leaves. Initially the slightest sound had made her jump. It was a constant barrage of sound compared to the silence of the prison, that had only been punctuated by the noise of animals lamenting the loss of their freedom.

Hopper was another matter, she had to get used to his drinking, unpredictable behaviour, and angry outbursts. She constantly felt like she was walking on eggshells in order to make him happy. When he had added Robin to their team it felt like a weight had been taken from her slim shoulders. Robin would try to draw Hopper’s ire away from her and would protect her from the worst of his angry outbursts. Robin made sure to water down his drink wherever possible, so that he took longer to get drunk. It wasn’t perfect but Robin made life so much better.

Now there was Steve who was also kind to her, who was trying to look out for her despite the detriment to himself he caused by sticking up for her and encouraging her where Hopper only broke her down. Here he was a prisoner, looking out for her wellbeing. Hopper planned to kill him, but she didn’t think she could allow him to do that, but she didn’t think she could stand up to Hopper and stop him either. Especially as he could take her back to where she started with Brenner in the lab.

The three of them had paused for breath on the top of a hillock that looked over the downs below. They could not have been there longer than twenty minutes when Hopper swore violently making her jump to her feet ready to placate him.

She stood beside him trying to see what had caused his outburst, below them the person in black was setting quite a pace in their pursuit. They had just crested one of the many hills far below and was heading in their direction, they could not be more than an hour at the very most behind them.

“Fuck!” Hopper swore again, his face turning red in fury. He roughly pulled Steve to his feet, the dagger once again to his throat. “Stay here,” he barked at El, spittle flying from his mouth, “and catch up with us when he’s dead.” He dragged Steve off.

“How would you like me to kill them?” She asked, she wasn’t used to being left to make her own decisions, too worried that she might get it wrong. Hopper turned back to her glaring her down.

“However, you see fit. Snap their neck. Whatever works best.” He screamed at her tugging Steve along at knife point. He disappeared over the crest of the hill.

She didn’t think it was fair to the person in black to kill them as soon as they came in range, it wouldn’t be very sporting of her. She cast her gaze around her. There were plenty of rocks, maybe she could throw them at them with her mind and scare them off rather than kill them. Maybe she should find out what he’d done with Robin first. If he had killed her then he certainly didn’t deserve to live. That was her decision. Robin was her paramount concern, not the death of this man.

She waited patiently for the person in black to arrive from a spot where she could see him with ease, for he definitely seemed to be a man, but he would struggle to see her. She used her mind to fling a cobble sized stone at his head, purposefully missing it whizzed past his ear, it exploded on the boulder behind him.

He turned to look in the direction that the rock had been launched from. El emerged from her hiding spot and his eyes widened in shock behind his mask.

“I did that on purpose; I did not have to miss.” She stated in her softly spoken manner.

“You did that?” He asked in disbelief. She jutted her chin once more and another brick sized rock launched itself in his direction narrowly missing his head once again. “Ok, ok! I believe you!” He squawked as he flinched.

“Did you kill my friend?” She asked getting straight to the point now he knew not to mess with her.

“Your friend?” He asked confused.

“Yes, my friend Robin, she is a swordswoman.” El clarified.

“Right… No, I did not kill your friend, she’s unconscious by the ruins at the top of the cliffs.” He raised his hands in an attempt to appear non-threatening.

“I will allow you to live if you promise me one thing…” She said from her vantage point.

He considered her, “and what is that?” he asked curiously, his eyes narrowed behind his mask as he focused his attention on her, knowing that she easily out matched him.

“Why are you following Hopper and Steve?” She asked, tilting her head at him with interest. His gaze was piercing as he appeared to be weighing his answer.

"Because Steve and I were once in love and I do not want any harm to come to him." He answered earnestly, wearing his heart on his sleeve.

“You want to rescue him?” She wanted to clarify. He nodded. “I need your word that you will not hurt him. That you will allow me to leave unharmed so that I can go and find Robin, so we can escape Hopper.” She looked at him, drawing herself up to her full height which wasn’t very tall.

“You want to escape Hopper?” He wanted to know, she could hear the curiosity in his voice.

“Hopper is a bad man. I have had enough of bad men. Steve is a good man; I wanted to make sure you treat him well.” The man in black’s curls were beginning to escape the bun he had put them in on the nape of his neck, he suddenly looked at the floor his body tense. She had somehow said the wrong thing; she frowned at the man below her. “Did you hurt Steve?” The man in black nodded continuing to avoid her eyes.

“I left him and never returned. He most likely thinks I’m dead.” The man in black’s voice quavered and almost broke. He attempted to clear his throat.

“Steve is a good man.” El repeated. “I am sure he will forgive you if you tell him what happened.” The man in black’s shoulders heaved with suppressed emotion.

“I give you my word as a pirate that no further harm will come to Steve by my hand.” He said holding out his hand for her to shake on their agreement. El jumped down from her vantage point and shook it.

“What’s your name? I have never met a pirate before.” She asked. He flourished a bow and fleetingly kissed her hand making El giggle.

“The Dread Pirate Roberts at your service little lady.” He quirked a smile.

“Nice to meet you, I can see why Steve liked you. I hope you manage to rescue him from Hopper.” El pulled her fingers from his hand and turned to retrace her steps to find Robin. “Can I ask you one more thing before we part?” She asked with a curious tilt of her head.

“I don’t see why not.” He crossed his arms beginning to sound frustrated.

“Why do you wear a mask? Were you hurt or disfigured?”

“It’s not particularly polite to ask people that sort of thing you know.” He retorted.

“Oh, I am sorry, I did not know that.” She replied genuinely. “You do not have to tell me if it makes you uncomfortable.”

“It’s to hide my true identity, though Steve will know it’s me no matter what I wear to disguise myself. The Dread Pirate Roberts has been many people, but we all wear the same disguise.” He explained.

“Like a uniform?”

“Like a uniform.” He confirmed. She nodded in understanding.

“I hope we meet again, man in black.” She turned leaving him to find his once and hopefully future love whilst she went find the woman she thought of as her sister.

Chapter Text

Prince Thomas took in the ruins of the castle that he, the count, and a few of his horsemen had found themselves in.

“There was a mighty duel, that ranged all over the ruins here.” The prince followed the tracks as they moved through the terrain. “They were both master swordsmen.” He told the others. This was the sort of thing he lived for, he loved the hunt, the tracking, getting to know and understand your quarry, and finally the kill. This hunt would end with a death no matter whether he had to wait a bit longer for that part.

“Who won? How did it end?” Asked Brenner following him as he traced the tracks in the dust of the ruins.

“It appears that the loser was joined by someone smaller than them. They ran off in that direction towards the forest, whereas the winner followed those footprints towards the Guilder frontier. If you see here, the smaller prints return and join with the loser…”

“Shall we track them both?” Asked the Count.

“The loser means nothing to me, only the prince matters, if anything has happened to him, I shall be very put out.” He would be very put out indeed if someone had managed to foil his carefully laid plans to start this war. He took a deep breath and slowly breathed out through his nose before mounting his horse.

“Clearly this was all planned by warriors of Guilder.” He lied to the group of horsemen at large; he needed people to believe the story he was creating. If he banged the drum hard enough and often enough people would believe him. “We must all be ready for whatever lies a head!” He urged his horse forwards as the count leaned over from his own horse to ask him if he thought this may be a trap.

“Of course, I think this is a trap, I think everything is a trap. It’s why I’m still alive.” He told Count Brenner smugly. Brenner gave him an indulgent smile in return as they left the ruins.

*

Steve and Hopper finally stopped on a ridge where he could see the person in black coming from a distance. He had long since given up speaking to the man, he was singularly minded and bent on completing his task of starting a war between Florin and Guilder. He hoped that splitting up had afforded Robin and El the opportunity to run off and start a better life, hopefully, together. They needed each other and if they worked together, they would be unstoppable.

Hopper forced him to sit by a rock at knife point then tied a blindfold over his eyes.

“Is this so that you don’t have to look me in my eyes as you kill me, you coward?” Steve asked. “You’re going to kill me anyway, why wait?”

“I can’t leave any lose ends that know what has happened. The person in black must die or the truth about your death may get out. Trust me as soon as the problem has been dealt with, I guarantee you that I will kill you swiftly with the least pain possible.”

“I suppose that’s the best I can ask for given the circumstances.” Steve quipped; he heard Hopper chuckle. He couldn’t tell how long they sat there waiting for either the person in black or El to arrive, he guessed around an hour. He suddenly felt the point of the dagger pierce the flesh of his neck and it made him gasp.

“So, it’s down to you and me, huh?” Hopper sounded put out. “If you want me to kill him now then gladly keep moving forward, just see what happens.” Steve tried to move his neck away from the knife point as it stabbed sharply into the supple skin of his neck, he felt a trickle of blood drip from the wound it had caused.

“I’m sure I can explain if you give me a moment.” A rich playful voice responded. It took every ounce of Steve’s being not to cry out. He would know that voice anywhere. Tears prickled at his eyes, and he swallowed audibly. He hoped that Hopper would think that he was simply nervous. He wanted to rip the stupid blindfold from his eyes to see if his mind was deceiving him.

“There’s nothing you can say that will change my mind so why should I give you the chance to explain?” Hopper asked haughtily. “You’re simply trying to kidnap what I’ve rightfully stolen.”

“Is that what you think I’m doing? You don’t think I’m trying to finish the job you’ve fucked up every step of the way? Maybe I’ve been hired by your boss to finish the job properly. Ever thought of that?” The familiar voice responded with derision. “Surely a child could have done a better job of disposing of me than those people you called henchmen. Maybe you should have cut out the middleman and saved time by trying to off me yourself. You seem like an inventive guy,” He feigned nonchalance, “perhaps an arrangement can be reached. Maybe we can work together?”

“There can be no arrangement and you’re killing him.” Hopper’s voice was icy as the point of the blade jabbed sharply causing Steve to cry out involuntarily, much to his humiliation. He felt the trickle of blood become a gentle oozing.

“If men like ourselves cannot come to an arrangement we must be at an impasse. Surely, we’re better than that?” The man who sounded like Eddie asked reasonably.

“Speak for yourself. I’m here to kill the person I was paid a downpayment to do a way with, then collect the rest once they find the evidence they need to start a war. War is a very lucrative business if you know what you’re doing.” Steve felt Hopper shrug.

“I know your plan, surely, I can leave now and tell either Guilder or Florin what you have done and that you were paid handsomely to do it. I know what you look like. You can’t match me in a sword fight otherwise you’d have done it yourself. You’re obviously afraid of what I know, or you’d have killed the prince here already.” He pointed out. “You’re a big guy, bigger than I am, stronger by the looks of it too. I bet you could best me one on one, no weapons, or are you too much of a chickenshit to take me on?” He was galling him. The was a long pause as Hopper considered this. Steve felt the knife draw away from his throat and felt like he could finally take a full and deep breath. He dabbed at his throat with his sleeve as best he could.

“I accept your challenge.” Hopper drawled. “Perhaps you would like to quench your thirst before we duke this out.” Steve ripped off the blindfold so that he could finally see the man in black up close. He raked his eyes up the man’s lithe form resting at his face, there were dark curls escaping a low bun, and his eyes were such dark brown that they were almost black. The man in black flicked his attention to Steve as Hopper sheathed his blade and withdrew a hip flask. He gave Steve a rueful smile, that he recognised from their arguments about whether or not he should leave to seek his fortune. Steve’s heart skipped a beat. This couldn’t be anyone else other than Eddie. His Eddie. Somehow back from the dead. He didn’t know whether to laugh or cry.

“Put down your weapon.” Eddie prompted Hopper withdrawing his attention from Steve. He discarded his sheathed dagger as Eddie unbuckled the belt that held his sword around his slim hips. He looked like he casually threw the sword away from him, but it landed close enough to Steve that it couldn’t be anything other than purposeful. Eddie eyed Hopper’s extended hand with his offer of the hipflask suspiciously.

“How do I know that you haven’t poisoned this?” Eddie asked swiping it from him and giving it a sniff.

“You don’t.” Hopper shrugged. Eddie held his gaze as he took a swig and then took a stance as he waited for Hopper to begin their wrestling match. Hopper stood and opened his arms as if to say give it your best shot. Eddie crouched low and ran at the bigger man trying to use brute force to knock Hopper off his feet. Hopper simply set himself more firmly as he waited for Eddie to tire himself out.

Eddie strained and pulled attempting to knock Hopper over, whilst Steve slowly edged his way closer to the discarded weapons. He continued to try to work his hands out of the rope that bound them. Eddie continued to uselessly grapple Hopper who seemed to find Eddie’s ineffective attempts to wrestle him amusing. Eddie pulled himself off Hopper breathing raggedly from the effort he had put in, to no avail. Hopper took the moment to begin swinging fists at him as Eddie ducked and weaved.

Steve unsheathed Hopper’s dagger and wedged it between his feet so that he could cut through the rope at his wrist. He strapped the dagger’s belt and scabbard around his waist and waited for the right moment to use it on Hopper. In one hand he held Eddie’s sword and in the other fretfully shifted his grip on the dagger’s grip as he waited for the moment to strike.

Eddie, who had been cornered between Hopper, and a rocky outcrop attempted to vault between Hopper’s legs to avoid his fists. Hopper simply sat down on the smaller man as he passed through his legs causing Eddie to cry out as Hopper’s full weight landed on him. Steve caught Eddie’s eye and flicked his gaze to the dagger in his hand, trying to convey what he was about to do. Hopper’s back was to Steve, so he took that moment to rush forward. He dropped Eddie’s sword into his waiting hand and stabbed Hopper in the shoulder. It took more effort to drive it home than expected but he did it. Hopper yelled in fury and pain as he tried to reach round for Steve. He fell from Eddie’s back and attempted pull the dagger from his shoulder.

Eddie took the opportunity and stood holding out his sword to Hopper’s throat.

“I didn’t say that I’d play fair, man. He turned to Steve giving him his signature wicked grin. “Now, Stevie, how should we dispose of this bag of shit?”

“How are you still standing?" Hopper bit out incredulous, “that flask was poisoned.”

“Oh, I know it was. Belladonna always leave a delightful tingle to the tongue.” Eddie smiled, appearing to be enjoying himself. “I’ve spent the past five years building an immunity to a wide variety of poisons. What say you, Stevie, do we make him drink from his own flask or do I stab him, and he suffers a slow and agonising death?”

Steve considered the options. He had never had a man’s life in his hands before. He didn’t know how he felt about it. Certainly, Hopper was a piece of shit, and he had treated his hired hands abysmally. Hopper had planned on killing him. He had wanted to start a war that would kill many peasants whilst sparing and making men like himself and Prince Thomas richer than they already were. Some commoners may die but that was obviously a sacrifice the rich were willing to make. Hopper had the propensity to make many people’s lives miserable if Steve let him live. He doubted that he would change his ways should he not die. Killing him would save the lives of a lot of people. Yet he didn’t want Eddie to have blood on his hands.

“I think he should be forced to drink his own poison. Not a sip like you took, but the whole flask.” Steve answered. He thought he would feel remorseful once the words were spoken into the universe, but he did not.

“You heard the man, bottoms up!” Eddie exclaimed, shoving the tip of his sword further into the base of Hopper’s throat, causing a trickle of blood to stream down his chest. Hopper spluttered as he fumbled for his hipflask. “Remember, if you spill it, I know how to stab you so that your death will take days and you will scream for me to put you out of your misery every second of that time until death finally comes for you. Drinking this could be instantaneous if you drink enough of it. Now get a move on we have shit to do.” He made a gesture with his hands to suggest that Hopper hurry the fuck along.

Hopper uncorked the flask and held Eddie’s gaze as he upended it and drank until the flask was empty, he shook the flask to show that he had indeed emptied it. He looked like he was about to say something when his eyes rolled back in his head. A horrific gargle exploded from his throat in a spray of blood as he convulsed. Hopper toppled sideways and was finally still.

“Good choice there, sweetheart.” Eddie drawled as he turned to Steve with that smile of his. Rage like he had never felt before flooded Steve; he felt incandescent with it. He shoved Eddie as hard as could, making the wiry man fall on his ass.

“And where the fuck have you been for five years, off playing pirates, having a good time? I thought you were fucking dead, Eddie. Why didn’t you ever come for me, like you promised me you would the day you left? I died the day I was told that you had been murdered. I’ve been a dead man walking ever since. You broke your promise to me.” He yelled at him, all the hurt and all the grief of the past five years pouring out of him. Tears streamed down his face, yet he did not care how he appeared to the man he had never stopped loving. He loved him more now than the day he left, yet the betrayal that he had been alive all this time and never come to find him stung like fuck.

“I-I never thought I was good enough for you, princess. It’s why I left in the first place. I wanted to make more of myself so that I would be worthy of you, Stevie.” Eddie’s voice wobbled and he pulled some of his loose curls in front of his face to hide the tears that threatened to spill, his voice broke at the confession. “Then when our ship was taken by pirates I thought by letting you think that I’d died that it would give you the opportunity to find someone else that-that was actually worthy of you. I was wrong and for that I am sorry, I should have found a way of getting word to you. I truly thought you were better off without me.” Eddie’s large doe eyes bore into Steve’s; they were filled with regret and longing.

“You’re the only one I’ve ever wanted, Eds.” Steve whispered the force of his emotions robbing his voice of its strength. “There’s never been anyone I wanted before or after you. The thought of being forced to marry the prince made me consider killing myself in many different ways, because I wasn’t marrying you. I couldn’t face spending the rest of my life with someone I didn’t love, who I’d been forced to marry. No matter how long I was married to them they would never have been you, Eds.” Steve dropped to his knees and cupped his former lover’s face in his hands.

Eddie broke down at Steve’s revelation, he covered his face with his hands and sobbed. He didn’t know how he would have lived knowing that Steve had extinguished his own life had he found out about it. He didn’t know if he could have gone on living if he had found out Steve no longer existed in the world. Guilt and pride had kept him from the man he loved, never knowing the hurt and pain he had caused his boy. It had stopped him from swallowing his pride and returning home to beg Steve’s forgiveness.

“If it helps, princess, there was never anyone else for me either. In the five years I have been pirating, no one has ever turned my head from you, not once. I dream of you and our home every night. Regret has been my constant companion. I should have been content to stay on the farm; I should have listened to you. Instead, I let the should’a, could’a, would’a’s get the better of me. When everything I ever dreamed of was right in front of me, I was simply blind to it. I will spend every day of the rest of my life earning your forgiveness. Do you think you could ever forgive me, Stevie?” He pulled the mask from his face as tears spilled from his eyes.

“I think so, Eds, but it will take time to build that trust again.” Steve stood up and held his hand out to the ridiculous pirate on the ground before him. “Even after everything you put me through, I still love you more than anything. I’m looking forward to getting to know the man you’ve become after all these years apart, if you’re willing to have me?”

“‘Willing to have me?’ Are you insane, Stevie? It should be me trying to convince you to have me!” Eddie took Steve’s hand, and he hauled him to his feet. “This won’t be the only time we get to fall in love with one another again. If we’re together for the rest of our lives it means falling in love with each other again and again as we grow and change. No one stays the same person throughout their life. We are all infinite versions of ourselves. I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life falling in love with every version of you.” Once he was upright, he gently cupped Steve’s face and rubbed his nose to his before softly kissing his lips.

(“Urgh,” grimaced Dustin to Wayne, “do you have to read this part?”

“We can’t always get what we want in life Dustin, remember that it’s important later on in the book.” Wayne chuckled, as Dustin scoffed.)

Eddie retrieved the dagger from Hopper’s shoulder and wiped it clean on his leather trousers before he handed it to Steve to tuck safely into the scabbard at this hip. He took Steve’s hand and lead him away from Hopper’s body. Eddie kept an arduous pace to put as much space between Steve’s kidnappers and themselves. As they escaped Steve explained how he came to be in Hopper’s clutches and all he had found out about why he had been kidnapped in the first place. Eventually they paused to rest on a ridge at the top of a ravine.

“Where the hell are we going, Eds?” Steve asked as they caught their breath.

“Well, from what you said it sounded like you weren’t particularly happy with the life you had been forced to live for the past few years. And you can’t go back to your farm as that’s one of the first places they’ll look for you once they realise just how much someone has royally screwed the pooch with their war plans. I thought you’d like to meet up with my crew.” He smiled brightly at Steve.

“Your crew? You really are a pirate!” Steve looked at him in shock, he felt a blush colour his cheeks as he thought about what Eddie would look like captaining a ship. Eddie gave him a truly wicked grin as he noticed the pinking of his cheeks.

“You like the idea of that, princess?” He crowded Steve’s space with a lascivious twinkle in his eye. He picked up one of Steve’s hand’s kissing the knuckles softly one by one whilst he held Steve’s gaze. Steve realised he was biting his lip as he watched Eddie flirt outrageously. He withdrew his hand from Eddie’s.

“Depends on the sort of pirate you are, I suppose.” Steve sniffed.

“Only the best and most fearsome pirate that has ever sailed the seven seas, baby. I’m The Dread Pirate Roberts, I’m sure you’ve heard of me.” He waggled his eyebrows suggestively.

“You’re taking the piss, surely, Eddie.” Steve scoffed and rolled his eyes at what he was sure was Eddie’s tall tale.

“I would say the one and only, but then I’d be lying. I’m the fifth Dread Pirate Roberts and may I say the most dashing.” He gave Steve a flourishing bow.

“The fifth? What is this a job share?”

“It’s kinda like a title.” Eddie explained. “The person who currently has the title, becomes rich beyond their wildest dreams; they then choose their successor and then retire. The current crew is handsomely paid off before an entirely new crew is taken on whilst the old Roberts stays on as first mate calling the new captain ‘Roberts’.”

“You’re telling me you’re rich?” Steve said sceptically.

“Oh yes, princess, fantastically.” Eddie grinned at him with pride. “I was going to do this for the rest of my life, but then news reached me about who the prince of Florin was marrying, and I had to see for myself if you were happy.”

Steve gave him a hard stare for he was still hurt by what Eddie had done and though he still loved him and wanted him in his life everything was still so raw for him. It would take time, love and tenderness for him to begin to forgive and trust Eddie again. Eddie faltered under Steve’s baleful look, as he continued with his tale, flinching at the look he gave him.

“Wh-when you strode into the square after the prince announced you, though you were more beautiful than ever, it was your eyes that broke my heart. You had this haunted look and because I knew you, I could tell you were so very unhappy. I vowed then and there that I would rescue you, one way or another before your wedding day. Even if you didn’t have me back, even if you didn’t love me, I would have taken you from the situation that was breaking your spirit. Then let you decide your own fate.”

“How did you catch up with us so fast? How did you know I had been kidnapped?” Steve frowned.

“My crew have a larger vessel, the Revenge, that I left my first mate in charge of in our usual waters and took a couple of loyal crew members and smaller vessel to investigate. It is this crew that we are trying to convene with, they’re waiting for us in Florin. If I don’t get word to them by the end of the week, they’ll come looking for me. Anyway, there is a small natural harbour a little way up from where Hopper kidnapped you, we were moored there whilst I learnt your daily habits before approaching you. I saw Hopper and his crew kidnap you and we gave chase.”

“‘Cause a little stalking isn’t creepy at all, Eds.” Steve laughed as Eddie stammered trying to gather his thoughts.

Movement over Eddie’s shoulder drew Steve’s attention, on the crest of the hills above them were six riders, two of the horses he recognised as belonging to the prince and the count. His heart sunk.

“Shit! They’ve found us, Eds.” He said as he pointed to the group of six who were hurtling towards them on horseback.

“Who’s found us?” Asked Eddie confused, twisting round to look on the royal banners that fluttered from the standard bearers’ clutches. “Your fiancé?!”

“He’s an amazing hunter; this would have been his idea of brilliant fun. What are we gonna do? We can’t outrun them.” He could hear the note of panic in his own voice; Eddie gave him a look of concern. He gently took Steve’s hand and rubbed his thumb in circles over his palm.

“Do you trust me, Stevie?” He asked, his large dark eyes gazing at him intently. He nodded, as he felt too upset to talk. There was no way he could go back to the castle now that he knew that Eddie was alive. Eddie pulled him along the edge of the ravine until the sides weren’t too sheer a drop and then pulled him down the extremely steep slope. They tumbled down the sides until they reached the bottom. Steve was bruised and sore but otherwise uninjured. He was on his feet and heading over to Eddie before the former farm-boy was on his feet, he held out his hand.

Eddie looked a little dazed, but he wasn’t hurt and was soon stumbling up to standing with Steve’s help. They held hands as they hurried along the ravine floor, the sound of the horses’ hooves echoed off the ravine walls. They were much steeper and much closer to them than they were when the first entered.

They looked up and saw the prince and the other horsemen peering down at them from above. There would be no way they could bring the horses down here without grievously injuring them.

“Ha! Your dickhead fiancé is too late; there’s no way he can head us off now. A few more feet and we’ll be safe in The Nether.”

“‘Safe in The Nether!’ No one in their right mind would call The Nether safe, Eds.” Steve said aghast.

“I guess I’m not in my right mind then, princess.” He gave him a wink and pulled him ever closer to the creepy writhing black vines that bordered the edge of the fleshy pink gate that separated this world from The Nether.

“In case you hadn’t noticed, Eddie, the only weapons we have are a dagger and sword. We’re never gonna survive!” Steve pointed out in a bitchy tone.

“Nonsense, sweetheart, you’re only saying that because no one ever has.” Eddie quipped. Steve groaned in frustration.

They stood before the thin film of pink viscera that separated this world and The Nether. It was like Eddie was taking the skin off hot milk as he moved his sword through the gate between worlds. Steve shoved him aside and stepped through the portal, now he had Eddie back he wasn’t taking any chances. He felt himself flip as the world tilted on its axis and he found himself in a dimly lit world of black skeletal trees and writhing vines. It smelt of rot and damp. Eddie fell through the portal and landed beside him.

“That was a wild ride, huh?” He asked Steve as he helped him up. Steve rolled his eyes at him as they began to cautiously pick their way through the strange new world before them. A thrill of fear tingled its way down Steve’s spine and Eddie gripped his hand tighter as a shrieking cry carried through the gloaming from a distance. Eddie turned to him giving Steve a playful grimace.

“Overall, I wouldn’t say it’s that bad would you, big boy? The overall aesthetic is quite lovely.” He nodded like he was looking over a pleasing verdant landscape.

“What the fuck, Eds!” Steve hissed at him. “It feels like death could come for us any second and you’re acting like you want to build a summer home here? Are you quite serious?”

“Absolutely, I mean it would certainly keep out any unwanted visitors. It might be a good place for a retirement home once I give up pirating for good.” He gave Steve a smirk as they began to move through the dead looking trees.

They had their weapons in hand and had been walking for some time when they heard a popping sound and a spurt of flame erupted to Eddie’s left, Steve’s reflexes were well honed from the sports he had played as a boy. He swung round and lifted Eddie away from the flames. Eddie curled into his embrace.

“I forgot how strong you were, hot stuff.” Eddie laughed into his shoulder.

“My turn to rescue you, beautiful.” Steve smiled at Eddie as he gently swept a curl behind his ear. Steve was pretty sure that Eddie had blushed at the endearment he had called him, but it was difficult to tell in the strange blue light here.

“Flattery will get you everywhere with me, sweetheart.” Eddie grinned.

“Oh, I know, Eds, I have a good memory.” This time he was absolutely certain that Eddie was blushing, he cackled as he buried his head against Steve’s collarbone.

Another preceding pop sounded to Steve’s right this time and he moved Eddie just in time once more to avoid the burst of flames.

They moved off, continuing along what seemed to be an animal track heading in the general direction they were going in. On and on they walked, chatting as they went.

“How did you manage to survive the attack on your ship; The Dread Pirate Roberts never leaves victims alive?” Steve asked.

“That is true, I am lucky to be alive, they were slowly working their way through the passengers and crew.” Eddie mimed throat slitting, “I was thinking of you. I was using my lute to self sooth in the face of imminent death and was playing one of the songs I wrote about you. Roberts heard it and asked me to play for him. I sung him the song I was playing, and he liked it, said his crew needed some entertainment, not that kind, sweetheart, get your mind out the gutter.” Steve slapped him on the shoulder for that imagined slight. “He told me to entertain them with my music that evening. I succeeded by singing all the bawdy tavern songs, like A Wizard’s Staff Has a Knob on the End and The Hedgehog That Couldn’t Be Buggered. They went down a storm and he kept me alive that night. The next day I made myself useful during the day helping out the crew, then I again sung and played my skinny ass off that evening. As I was bedding down with the crew Roberts came to me and says, “Goodnight, nice work today, Eddie, sleep well, I’ll most likely kill you in the morning.” I mean who says shit like that? How am I supposed to sleep well with that hanging over my head?”

“Sounds like a proper sadist, man.” Steve responded giving him an incredulous look.

“For three years he said that every night! It was an interesting time for me, I missed you and regretted what I was doing to you, but I was learning so much, fencing, how to sail, the long and distinguished art of piracy, anything anyone would teach me. Roberts made all his crew microdose poisons every evening with a meal until they were immune to a wide variety of poisons, we’re an exceptionally hardy bunch, we have a constitution of iron.” Eddie continued with a snort at the memory.

“Do you even hear yourself, Eds, the man is as mad as a box of frogs. Who does that shit?” Steve said, his gast well and truly flabbered.

“Well, poisoning is a peril of the trade, sweetheart, it’s actually beneficial for pirate lords and their crew to do that. It means you a) don’t die and b) don’t have to spend time replacing and retraining crew.” Eddie explained. Steve pulled a tight smile to show he understood where he was coming from. “Eventually Roberts and I became friends. Then one day he takes me aside and tells me that he had become so rich he wanted to retire. He goes on to explain that he is not in fact the Dread Pirate Roberts, he was a guy named Ronnie. It’s a title he inherited from his predecessor, who also wasn’t the real Dread Pirate Roberts either. The real Dread Pirate Roberts was a man named Ozzy, who is living like a king somewhere in the America’s.”

“Wow! And no one knows about this line of succession?” Asked Steve.

“Only the other Roberts and me and you, princess.” Eddie grinned. An eerie chittering call emanated from nearby drawing their attention. In the gloaming light stood a pale humanoid creature with elongated limbs and wicked looking claws. The most frightening part was that its face was featureless, no eyes, no mouth, no nose. Steve was washed through with terror. They both gasped. It crouched down ready to pounce, but before it did so, it’s featureless face bloomed open like a flower revealing rows upon rows of teeth on each of the four flashy petals. It shrieked at them and as they screamed it lunged at them. Eddie shoved Steve behind him, his sword waiting for the beast. He slashed at it wanting to stay as far from its claws as possible. Though his blows landed on the creature it didn’t do as much damage as he had hoped it would. It was certainly much hardier than an unarmoured human. He continued to slash at it.

Steve had moved out of the way to give Eddie space to manoeuvre; he had somehow ended up behind the creature. His dagger was of little use judging by the way Eddie’s sword seemed to glance off the creature’s body. Through it was giving it pause. Steve heard a now familiar popping sound close at hand.

“Move back, Eds!” He shouted. Eddie jumped away as Steve gave the pale beast a hard shove causing it to stumble into the flames. It gave an almighty shriek as the fire licked its body greedily and lurched away. Eddie gave the creature no time to recover and lunged at the thing aiming for the reddened and peeling flesh. This time he did far more damage. His sword cutting through the already tender flesh causing it to bleed.

It opened its face to screech its fury at Eddie who bravely plunged his sword into its open petal like mouth and piercing the creature’s vulnerable insides. The creature convulsed, its teeth catching painfully on Eddie’s hand as he released his sword. The beast fell to the ground with a whine as it curled in on itself. Blood and gore spilled from its maw. Eddie ripped his sword from the thing and plunged it repeatedly into the creatures burnt chest putting it out of its misery.

“Eds, you’re injured.” Steve said noticing the wounds to his sword arm. “Let me look at it.” He rolled up the sleeve of Eddie’s black shirt to reveal Eddie’s bloodied arm. “You have tattoos?” Steve peered at the torn flesh on Eddie’s arm, it was hard to tell what it once was, a hand holding some strings possibly? He gently twisted Eddie’s arm to see the extent of the damage, making the pirate hiss in pain, noticing some bats on the underside of his arm. He felt himself blush at the thought of being able to find out if Eddie had anymore he could see in the future. Steve pulled his velvet jerkin off, then tugged his fine linen shirt over his head. He grinned as he caught Eddie casting an appreciative eye over his body-

(Can we not! I swear you’re pretending this is some old book when it’s actually the sort of steamy romance Mike’s mom reads!” Complained Dustin, making Wayne laugh out loud.

“I’ll skip that bit then. Wouldn’t want to offend your delicate sensibilities.” Sniggered Wayne.)

Steve ripped his linen shirt into strips and bandaged Eddie’s arm, stemming the bleeding. “There you go, beautiful. Now you’ve got some scars to go with your tatts, you look as hard as nails now. We’ll give those wounds a proper clean out when we get back to your ship.”

Eddie huffed a laugh and stood up as Steve buckled his velvet jerkin over his shirtless body. They carried on walking through the dank, leafless trees of The Nether unhindered by the local fauna until they came across another gate similar to the one, they originally used to enter The Nether. Steve used his dagger to clear the skin from the portal, so that Eddie’s bandages didn’t get wet with the gate’s nasty slime.

Like before, as they passed through the world tipped on its axis and Steve found himself on his back staring at the leaves above him, just beginning to change colour in the early autumn. Eddie came through next, holding his injured arm close to his chest.

“I can’t believe we made it, sweetheart!” He crowed. Steve scoffed.

“I thought you told me it was nonsense for me to worry about surviving!” Steve bit back in a playful but bitchy tone.

“That was before I knew what the hell was in there! I am happy to review my original assessment of it being a good retirement spot and am happy to paint a sign warning folk about its dangers!” Eddie squawked, incredulous. “Need I remind you that I nearly lost an arm!” Steve laughed as he got to his feet. Through the trees in the distance Steve could see the banks of the estuary he had been kidnapped from. They began to walk in the direction of the water that twinkled at them between the trees.

The whinnying of horses surprised them, and they were quickly surrounded by the prince and his men. Eddie pulled Steve behind him, his sword at the ready.

“Surrender!” Prince Thomas commanded in a lordly tone.

“You mean you wish to surrender to me? Very well I accept!” Eddie said brightly, like he hadn’t just faced down a faceless being and nearly lost an arm. Steve wondered if anyone had ever dared talk to the prince like that before. There was a tiny twitch to the prince’s eye that Steve knew well, it showed he was frustrated at Eddie’s impertinence.

“I give you full marks for bravery, don’t make yourself a fool.” The prince sneered.

“How could you possibly capture us? We know the secrets of The Nether. We Could live there quite happily, so if you ever feel like dying, feel free to visit.” Eddie bragged with a confidence that Steve knew he didn’t feel. A rustling of leaves caught Steve’s attention and several men with crossbows emerged from the trees behind them.

“I tell you once again, surrender.” The prince told him haughtily.

“Never gonna happen!” Eddie told him stubbornly.

The prince drew his own sword in frustration, his voice raised in anger as he said, “for the last time! Surrender!”

“Death first!” Cried Eddie fiercely. Steve could hear the men behind him shouldering their crossbows in readiness to fire their arrows. His heart was in his throat; he couldn’t lose Eddie again. He couldn’t let him die. If he could convince the prince that Eddie wasn’t his kidnapper, he would surely let Eddie go free. Then they could figure out a way to be together before Steve’s wedding took place.

He found himself blurting out, “do you promise not to hurt him!?” Both men turned to look at him incredulously, but he didn’t care, not if this saved Eddie’s life. “If we surrender and I return with you, do you promise not to hurt this man?”

“May I live a thousand years and never hunt again!” Replied the prince, he was such a pompous windbag at times that Steve really wanted to smack him straight off that horse. It took every ounce of will power not roll his eyes at him.

“He is a sailor on the pirate ship Revenge. Promise to return him to his ship.” Steve demanded. He could see the hurt radiating from Eddie’s face from the corner of his eye; his own hurt was breaking as the words left his mouth.

“I swear it will be done!” The prince contentedly sheathing his sword now that he had got his own way. Steve turned to Eddie and forced himself to meet the wounded look in the other man’s eyes.

“I thought you were dead once, Eds.” His voice so fraught with emotion that he could barely raise it above a whisper, “and it almost destroyed me. I could not bear it if you died again, not when I could save you. Not now I know that you will always come for me. Not now that I know you will always find me.” The words were hardly out of his mouth Prince dragged him on to the back of his horse and rode off with his arms around him. Steve looked back over his shoulder and watched the love of his life disappear from view.

*

Eddie’s brain was trying to play catch up, everything was happening so fast. One minute he was ready to face down an upstart prince that needed to be taken down a peg or two, the next his beloved was being taken away from him in the arms of that same man that Steve found so repulsive. The arms of a man he’d told Eddie he’d literally rather die than be forced to marry.

Eddie watched the pair disappear into the forest until he could no longer see them. He took a deep breath so that he could attempt to deal with the predicament he found himself in.

“Come, sir, we must get you to your ship.” A disingenuously smooth voice interrupted his thoughts. He looked up to see an older man with white hair on horseback smiling pleasantly at him. The men with crossbows crowded him and forced him closer to the man on horseback. This certainly felt far more like a trap to him than being escorted back to his ship as free man.

“We are men of action, lies do not become us.” He told the older man, who gave him a genuine smile at his honesty.

“Well, spoken sir.” The man raised his eyebrow at one of the men behind him who bound his hands together. As Eddie pulled his eyes away from the man, he noticed something peculiar about the man’s right hand, that rested on his lap. “What is it?” The six fingered man asked curiously.

“You have six fingers on your right hand; I met someone that was looking for you. Small world sometimes, huh?” Eddie told him, thinking of Robin. He wondered how he would get word to her-

The world went black. The next time Eddie would awaken he would lose all hope of ever seeing Steve ever again.

Chapter Text

Eddie was awoken by the feeling of someone carefully washing his wounds and muttering to themselves. The water was warm, which was a rare luxury. His eyelids and limbs felt heavy as he tried to focus on what was happening to him.

His movements were restricted by something restraining his wrists. What had happened began to filter through his brain. He had found Steve, had spent time enjoying his company talking like they used to, exchanging gentle touches and closeness He had been lucky enough to find that Steve’s ardour had never waned, even after all Eddie had put him through, he still loved Eddie and wanted to be with him. It was more than Eddie could have asked for, certainly more than he expected of him. But now his brain was finally caught up with the fact that he could be in very serious trouble. A jolt of fear spiked through him. He had been so close to getting everything he had ever wanted and now that was in very real jeopardy.

He opened his eyes and tried to sit up, but the restraints prevented that. He looked around and found he was in a cave like room lit by torches in the corners. He jerked when saw that he wasn’t alone. A portly older man was re-entering the room with a clean water and sponge.

“Good, good, you’re up.” He said to Eddie jovially. If he wasn’t happily holding him hostage, he would have reminded him of the spirit of Yule who brought gifts to kids and warmth on long winters nights. “Glad to see that knock to your head didn’t do you too much damage. The count can be overzealous in his ministrations at times.” He gave a chuckle as he approached Eddie. He reached out to dab at the blood on Eddie’s body caused by the altercation with the creature he and Steve came across in The Nether. Eddie flinched away from him. “I’m not going to hurt you, young man. No, no, the prince and the count like everyone to be healthy before they are broken.” It was said in such a matter-of-fact tone that it sent shivers down Eddie’s spine. How many times had this man healed someone only for them to be killed anyway. What was the point?

Eddie scowled at the man as he tended the lacerations on his arm.

“Where the fuck is this supposed to be, old man?” Eddie growled.

“Why, this is the prince’s Zoo of Death.” The old dude said as if that explained anything. Eddie had long learnt that men tended to be boastful creatures and if you allow a silence to grow, they will fill it. Telling you what you need to know. “Don’t even think about escape, your chains are far too thick, and you are far too deep underground for anyone to hear you scream. If you do happen to escape you have to navigate another four floors before you get out of here. Don’t expect to be rescued either. Only the prince, the count and I know how to get in and out.”

“So, the prince wants me tortured?” Eddie asked with trepidation.

“The prince has an unnatural interest in killing things, which the count does like to encourage. They like to invent new and different ways to kill things. They’re cut from the same cloth, the pair of them.” He said ruefully.

“I can cope with torture.” Eddie told the old man with more bravado than he felt.

“I don’t think that’s going to be true this time, young man…” The man shook his head and gave Eddie a tight-lipped smile.

“You don’t believe me?”

“The young often believe themselves to be invincible. You survived The Nether, you must be very brave. You climbed the Cliffs of Insanity without any assistance; you must be exceedingly strong. But no one withstands the machine.” Owens told him in that same cold matter of fact tone. It left Eddie feeling hopeless and wondering if he would die without seeing Steve again.

*

Steve didn’t understand why Eddie hadn’t come to get him. His depression was far worse than it had been prior to seeing the former farm-boy gain. He had no interest in the rich foods, the castle offered, no longer dressed in the sumptuous clothes he had in his wardrobe. He dressed simply in his shirt, hose and an unembellished jerkin as he drifted through the castle. He often found himself having ended up in the castle kitchens talking to the people that worked there, avoiding the extravagant meals that the prince and his family enjoyed in favour of the plainer fare the servants dined on. He was no longer allowed to ride Lady outside of the castle grounds for fear the Guilderian’s may attempt another kidnapping.

On top of that Prince Thomas’ father was in ailing health and the marriage would be rushed through if he passed. The thought of it made Steve feel sick. He thought about trying to escape but he was closely watched and well known within the castle. There were hardly ever times when he had no eyes on him. He was only ever alone in his suite and then there were no alternate ways out other than the door, which now had a guard the other side of it at night. The window was far too high up to even consider jumping and overlooked the courtyard not the moat.

Steve huffed taking off his day clothes and replacing them with his nightshirt. He attempted to read but couldn't focus on it due to how anxious he felt about everything that was happening to him. It felt like he was out of control of his own life and was overwhelmed with the impotent need to do something. After tossing and turning for many hours he finally fell into a fitful sleep.

He was awoken a few short hours later with the news that the king had died that very night and he and Prince Thomas were to be married in the next hour. The manservants hurriedly dressed him in finery that weighed his heart down more with every item of clothing and jewellery he was dressed in. He felt like he was suffocating as he walked down the aisle to meet the now King Thomas at the other end. Still Eddie did not appear as he had promised, and he was feeling increasingly desperate. He wasn’t aware of saying ‘I do’ when the time came and was only dimly aware of the newly crowned king announcing his new spouse to the gathered crowd in the town square-

(“Wayne, Wayne, stop! What the hell? You must have read that wrong! Steve couldn’t possibly marry Prince Thomas; he’s in love with Eddie! If he didn’t marry Eddie, it wouldn’t be fair!”

“Now who said anything about fair?” Wayne scathingly retorted. “No one ever said life was fair. You tell me who told you life was fair.”

“But that can’t possibly be right! Love conquers all! What was the point in reading this to me if they don’t end up together?”

“So now you care about them getting together? You’ve been against them being an item every chapter I’ve read you so far. Make up your mind, Dustin. Do you want me to carry on or not?”

Dustin gave a thoroughly teenage huff accompanied by an eyeroll before gesturing Wayne to continue.)

Steve wanted to throw the ornate and heavy crown across the town square. He felt physically sick.

He could hear the crowd cheering for him, calling his name. They wanted to see the commoner who had now become king. His feet moved as though through mud, it felt like it took him an inordinate amount of time to get out of the castle and down the red carpet into the square. The crowd cheered wildly but all Steve could do was focus on a young redhaired girl, around the same age as El, who was frowning at him like she had been somehow mortally offended by him.

She took a step forward on to the red carpet and booed him loudly over the cacophony of her peers. His heart was in his throat as the crowd stilled and quieted to see what was happening.

“Why are you doing this?” Steve whispered, his eyes prickled with tears, his heart lodged in his throat. He feared he already knew the answer.

“Because you had love in your hands! And you gave it up and abandoned him! Your true love saved you from bandits and rescued you from The Nether and yet you threw it away like garbage!” The young girl shouted passionately to the crowd as Steve’s tears streamed down his face. He knew that someone would see through him and think he had abandoned Eddie for a life of riches, when in fact it was the other way around.

“It’s not like that-” He tried to tell her. “They would have killed Eddie if I hadn’t done it.”

“Your true love lives and you threw him away like it meant nothing!” The girl with red braids continued to yell. “So, bow down to him! Bow down to the king of slime, the king of filth, the king of putrescence!” She came closer and closer until she spat right in his face, her expression one of utter contempt for him. He woke with a yell and sat up in bed covered in a cold sweat.

(“I fucking knew it wasn’t real!” shouted Dustin. “I knew it.”

“Yes, you’re very clever,” Wayne told him dryly with a smirk, “now shut the fuck up.” Dustin spluttered, it was the first time he had heard the bald man swear.)

It was ten days until the wedding and the old king lived yet, but every night Steve’s nightmares grew steadily worse. He pulled on some hose and slammed the door to his room open, narrowly missing the guard outside and making her drop her sword in shock. He stormed his way through the castle to Prince Thomas’ office and threw that door open too for good measure. He smirked as the prince gave a slight jolt of surprise at his entrance. It was the first time he had felt good about something since he had arrived back at the castle.

“There is no way in heaven or earth that I will be marrying you in ten days’ time.” He told the prince in no uncertain terms. “I can’t. I love Eddie and I always have. To marry you would be disrespectful to myself, my feelings and to him. If you force me to do this then please believe me when I tell you that you’ll find me dead in our suite on our wedding night.” Steve wasn’t being dramatic when he said this. He simply couldn’t see any other way out of the situation he found himself in and for some reason Eddie didn’t turn up as he said he would. Steve was struggling, Eddie had promised before that he would return for him, but had flaked out, what was stopping him from doing so again. What if Steve was too much or not enough and that was why he had decided against rescuing him a second time. His previous girlfriend before Eddie had also found him overwhelming and simultaneously not enough, maybe that was the real reason Eddie faked his own death. Maybe that was the only way to get rid of Steve.

The prince had the gumption to look shocked at the words that had come tumbling out of Steve’s mouth. He swallowed and took a moment to collect his thoughts.

“Well, my dear, I never wanted to cause you grief. Consider our wedding off.” The prince looked a little flustered as he got up from his desk and approached the count who stood silently watching their exchange from behind the prince’s desk. Relief flooded through Steve so quickly he almost felt dizzy with it. It was almost too easy; suspicion prickled his brain as he watched the prince. He never gave up a prize or a trophy, why would he do so now… “You retuned this, Eddie, to his ship?” He asked his righthand man.

“Yes.” Murmured the man, his face void of any expression.

“Then we will simply alert him,” the prince told them like it was simple and it wouldn’t take weeks to track down the Revenge, “but my sweet, are you sure that he wants you?” And just like that the prince tapped into Steve’s darkest fears. He swallowed dryly, hoping to swallow the fear and anxiety that had sat in his chest for days at Eddie’s continued absence. He looked away trying to avoid the prince’s gaze. “After all,” the prince continued, “it was you who chose to leave him once you left The Nether. Not to mention pirates are not known to be men of their words.” The prince drawled, appearing to enjoy Steve’s discomfort at his words. Steve hadn’t given too much thought to having hurt Eddie’s feelings by agreeing to leave with the prince when he tried to save Eddie’s life. He had been too busy wallowing in his own perceived rejection. His stomach plummeted, how had he got it so wrong? The redhaired girl from his dream was right he had abandoned Eddie. Eddie would think that he had lied to him, that he in fact, loved the prince and had simply used him to get away from his abductors.

“Eddie would always come and get me,” he told the prince, but his voice didn’t ring true. Eddie hadn’t turned up like her had promised in the past what made him think it would be different this time? “And even if he didn’t, you just called our wedding off. Surely, I can just go home?” Steve longed for his childhood home, a simple life with his horse on the farm where he grew up. Where Eddie knew where to find him if he hadn’t broken his heart too badly.

“I suggest a deal, you write four copies of a letter, I’ll send my four fastest ships, one in each direction. The Dread Pirate Roberts is always close to Florin this time of year. We’ll run up the white flag and deliver your message.” The prince suggested. Steve frowned, how did the prince know that Eddie was The Dread Pirate Roberts, he had never told him that. Maybe it was the name of his ship that had made the prince guess correctly. “If Eddie wants you, then bless you both.” The prince continued amicably, like he hadn’t just thrown Steve’s mind into turmoil. “If not, please consider me as an alternative to suicide. Are we agreed?” He gently took Steve’s hand. Steve had to fight the impulse to physically recoil. Steve didn’t know what would happen if he turned the prince down, he felt a prickle of fear run up the back of his neck and his fingers tingled with the spike of adrenaline. There was absolutely no way he would agree to that.

“May I have some time to think on it?” He asked politely, feeling like he couldn’t get enough air. The prince still had hold of his fingers.

“As you wish.” Prince Thomas coldly agreed before roughly letting Steve’s hand go. The phrase left Steve feeling sick at the juxtaposition between the way Eddie used to use the phrase and the way the prince just had.

*

“Your prince is quite a winning creature. At first, I thought he was quite simple like all peasants, but he repeatedly makes me reconsider my first impressions of him. His appeal is undeniable.” Brenner told Prince Thomas as they took a leisurely walk through the wood towards through the crisp early autumn air to the Zoo of Death.

“I know,” the prince chuckled filled with pride at having such a winsome trophy wandering the castle’s halls, “the people are quite taken with him. It’s odd, but when I hired Hopper to have him murdered on the day of our engagement, I thought that was clever. But it’s going to be so much more moving when I strangle him on our wedding night.”

“You better hope you get in there before he does, he seems quite adamant that he’s going to do himself harm.” Count Brenner gave the prince a sympathetic smile as they came to a gentle halt.

“I suppose it doesn’t really matter either way, I can still frame Guilder for it. Though I would rather it was at my hands. I do rather love watching the light of life dim in a person’s eyes as they fight for their last breath.” The prince shrugged. “Oh well. The people will be so outraged at the news of his death they’ll demand we go to war.” He gave a soft laugh, as the older man turned.

The older man cursed as he tried several different knots on the large mishappen tree before him. “I can never find that bloody knot.” “It’s impossible to find.” The prince looked on him fondly.

“Are you coming down to the Zoo, my dear?” He asked the prince softly, hope lacing his voice. “Eddie has his strength back and I’m going to start him on the machine tonight.”

“You know how I love to watch you work but I can’t today, darling, I’m swamped. I have my countries five hundredth anniversary to plan, my wedding to arrange, my husband to murder and the neighbouring country to frame for it. I simply can’t, as much as I’d like to.”

Though the prince had always disliked the idea of a romantic relationship, this mix of business and pleasure really worked well for the both of them. They had similar interests and morals (in that neither had any to begin with) and this is what drew them together in the first place.

Brenner stepped up and took the prince’s hands in his.

“You must take better care of yourself, Thomas, make sure to take the time to rest. If you haven’t got your health, you haven’t got anything.” He told the prince softly as the prince leant forward and gave him a chaste kiss on the lips. He lingered briefly as he watched the count enter the secret passageway and left with a skip in his step as he fantasised about the most exciting way of killing Steve on their wedding night.

*

Eddie had been in the Zoo of Death for weeks and was now fully healed. His thoughts were constantly with Steve and how he would think that he once again hadn’t returned for him. He knew that his crew would be looking for him, and though they were good with all things pirate and sailing, tracking him would not be their strong suit. He was hoping that they would somehow get word to Steve so that they could try and find out wherever this place was.

As dungeons went it wasn’t bad, not particularly damp, three square meals a day. None of this nonsense, oh no, there were stews and bread, pies of every description, it could be far worse. The plump old man was the Zoo’s keeper; his name was Owens; he tended the inmates of this prison whether man or animal and he was fastidious in his work. Keeping them all healthy, their cells clean and them all well fed. Eddie was chained to the wall of his cell by his wrists and by a collar round his neck. The chains were longish and afforded him some movement. Owens had told him this was to prevent bedsores and muscle wastage from setting in.

Today the count had joined Owens as they strapped him to a wheeled wooden pallet. There were other implements that looked like funnels strapped to his chest, lower abdomen and his temples. The way in which Owens had strapped the equipment to his temples meant that there was a chinstrap which prevented him from talking. This must be for the ominous torture machine Owens had told him about. Eddie liked to think that he had the mental fortitude to withstand being tortured but deep down he knew himself to be a coward. It was why it took him five years and it was only after seeing that look in Steve’s eye as he greeted his people before he felt brave enough to confront what he had done to the other man.

His captors already knew about his and Steve’s past, it seemed Steve had told them that he had rescued him from Hopper and that they were in love. Eddie had deduced that the prince and the count had very likely plotted to kill Steve. Putting two and two together wasn’t difficult, the prince and the count had attempted to start a war. That was obvious before his being held hostage here. Steve was in danger in the castle, but he hoped he was managing to stay safe. Eddie was most concerned about what Steve would do to himself by his own hand. He fervently hoped that he hadn’t succumbed to the thoughts of taking his own life because Eddie hadn’t returned, yet again, as he promised, or because he was being forced to marry someone, he didn’t want had made him feel like there was no other way out. He was profoundly worried about Steve’s mental state. The look he had seen in Steve’s eyes in the town square when the prince had presented his intended still haunted Eddie.

He was wheeled out of his oubliette by Owens and into a larger underground cavern that was filled with glass implements, jars and bottles brewing elixirs and potions. There jars of dead things and limbs preserved in liquid along a wall and a large waterwheel to one side. There were your traditional tools of the torturers trade, the iron maiden, a rack, thumbscrews and various wicked looking metal tools hung on the wall close by. Eddie averted his eyes as his stomach plummeted, and he thought he may lose the contents of his stomach seeing the sort of things they were going to use on him. He was moved over to the waterwheel where the count peered down at him pleasantly. It almost felt like the count was welcoming him.

“Beautiful, isn’t it?” The snowy haired count said as he looked up at the waterwheel in admiration. “Took me half a life to perfect it.” He told Eddie conversationally. “I’m sure you’ve been told about my deep and undivided interest in pain.” He lovingly reached out and stroked the piping that Owens was attaching to the funnels that he had strapped to Eddie’s body. “I’m currently writing the definitive work on the subject. So, I want to you to be totally honest about what you experience when I use the machine.”

Eddie’s heartrate ratcheted up as Owens attached the pipes to connectors he had neglected to notice on the waterwheel; his breath caught in his throat as panic began to set in. He strained against his bonds, but he couldn’t escape.

“This being our first time using it, I’m going to use the lowest setting.” He told Eddie gently as he turned to the side and moved a lever up a single notch. The sound of rushing water filled the cavern, and the large waterwheel began to turn. Blinding hot pain moved through Eddie from where the funnels were placed on his body as an agonisingly strong sucking sensation pulled at his body and mind. He was only aware of the searing pain; there were no other thoughts. It felt like it lasted for an eternity, he longed for death to end his suffering. As suddenly as the pain had started it stopped. His body and mind were in shock as it tried to comprehend what had happened to it.

“As you know, the concept of the suction pump is centuries old.” Brenner continued in the same gentle and understanding tone as he had done previously. Totally unaffected by what he had just witnessed. “Really, this is all this machine is, but instead of sucking water, the machine sucks life. I’ve just reduced your life span by a year through suction. I might one day go as high as five, but I really don’t know what that would do to you. Now if you’d be so kind as to tell me a bit about what you experienced… I need you to be honest as this is for posterity, remember.”

Eddie let out a sob, he didn’t know whether that was due to the relief because the pain had stopped or because the hopelessness of his situation finally overwhelmed him. The rest of his life would be nothing but pain and misery, used for human experimentation at the hands of a man who seemed to derive pleasure by watching another being suffering.

“Hmmm, that is interesting.” Brenner said as he noted Eddie’s reaction in his papers.

*

El had ran all the way back to ruined castle at the top of the Cliffs of Insanity to find Robin. She was exhausted by the time she got there and felt shaky from the exertion.  She found Robin on the ground unconscious, the man in black had made sure she was safe by rolling her on her side. He had thoughtfully placed her sword in its scabbard at her hip. El gently shook the blonde woman but she did not awaken.

She pulled out a manky looking kerchief from her pocket and gently placed it over her eyes. Listening to the sound of the hissing and fizzing of the waves far below El took herself to her dark liminal space. That space she had created for herself which was always dry even if it was wet under foot. This was the place she used to find people. She focused on Robin and the safe way Robin made her feel, which made Robin suddenly appear in the distance. She looked lost, but El knew that it wasn’t due to her being here in the in between space. She was lost somewhere in her mind, and she needed El’s help to find her way back out.

El softly approached Robin and took her hand. Robin looked right through El like she wasn’t there, but she knew exactly what to do. El began to hum Robin’s favourite tune. Robin would whistle it all the time when they were travelling with Hopper, Hopper would always tell her to shut up, but El loved it. It meant Robin was happy. El couldn’t whistle, but she could hum it. It reminded her of time spent together with her favourite person on the planet; beloved music could bring anyone home.

As she hummed Robin’s face became less frightened, losing the lost look she had worn. Her eyes were no longer large with fear, and a gentle smile of recognition began to tug at the corners of her mouth. El rubbed Robin’s palms with her thumbs in soothing circular motions as she continued to hum Greensleeves. Finally, Robin’s eyes focused on the teen, and she gave El a warm smile.

“It is time for you to wake up now Robin.” El told her softly. Robin’s image faded from the liminal space and El was left alone, she took a deep breath, removed her kerchief from her face and opened her eyes, turning to look at Robin who was blinking into wakefulness. Robin turned to look at her with the same fond smile she had worn in the in between place.

“Hey.” She greeted quietly. “Thanks for coming back for me.”

“What would I do without my sister.” El told her. Robin reached for her hand blinking her eyes tearfully.

“Get absolutely trounced by thieves and conmen because you’re so innocent about the ways of the world.” Robin grinned.

“Most probably. People are confusing.” El smiled with a good-natured huff.

“We should probably get out of here before anyone comes looking for the prince. We do not want to be involved in that shit.” Robin stood and dusted herself off. “Hmm, he didn’t make off with my sword.” She noted out loud.

“He seemed quite an honest fellow for a pirate.” El told her. “I wonder if he defeated Hopper and got Steve back?” They began to walk towards the forest El could see below them.

“Got Steve back?” Asked Robin inquisitively.

“Yes, he said that they had once been in love, but he had somehow wronged him, and he was trying to win Steve back.”

“Curious indeed. Do you think he will need some new crew mates? We’re out of a job after all.”

“Where do you think a pirate would be headed?” El pondered.

“Without a boat? Definitely the Thieves Forest. We should head there and put the word around that we’re looking for him. I don’t suppose you got his name?”

“He said it was The Dread Pirate Roberts.”

“You’re shitting me! It can’t possibly be him, there’s been legends about him longer than I’ve been alive.” Robin told her incredulously. “He looked like he was around my age!”

“Well, he did say that The Dread Pirate Roberts had been many people, and that they wore a uniform to make people think that it was the same person.” El explained.

“Hmm, clever. How on earth did you find all of this out?”

“I couldn’t let him go after Steve if he meant to hurt him. He is a kind and good man and there are not many of those about. So, I needed to make sure he was a better person than Hopper.”

Robin snorted at that. “Well, that wouldn’t be difficult, he set a pretty low bar.”

“Captain Roberts seemed like a respectable and gentle man.” El said.

“That he did, Ellie, that he did. You’re a good judge of character you know that.” El smiled at the compliment.

They spent the next few days traversing the woods to get to the Thieves Forest where they would put word out that they were looking for Roberts. Robin and El came up with a way of using El’s powers to pick the pockets of wealthy travellers on the road. They would hide in roadside bushes waiting for rich travellers to pass by and then use El’s powers to filch coin and other valuables. They were well off, a couple of gold coins here and a knickknack there would not be missed by the upper crust. But would mean the difference between eating at all and sleeping rough for Robin and El. Robin was a great believer in wealth redistribution a topic she talked about to El passionately and at length.

They had been in the Thieves Forest a couple of weeks, and no one had volunteered news of Roberts. Robin and El had discussed theories as to why this may be. Robin had three; one: he’d made it back to his ship and there for none of his crew were here, two: his crew were there in the Forest with them looking for him and observing the pair of them to see what they knew, worried it was a trap, three: something was desperately wrong. This was the theory that Robin favoured. She was a cynic after all. El liked the idea that he and Steve had made it back to his ship and were living happily ever after at sea. The pair were rocked to their core when word reached the Thieves Forest that a brute squad was being formed to clear the small village and other rough buildings that had inhabited it in preparation for Prince Steve and Prince Thomas’ impending wedding tomorrow evening.

“Steve would not marry that bully if he had the chance to be with Roberts.” El told Robin adamantly when the news reached them. “Remember what he said about his father when he helped me find the strength to get us all up the Cliffs of Insanity. His father was a bad man; he would not be with a bad man. Something has happened to him.” El knew it, she could feel it in her heart of hearts.

“I’m inclined to agree with you, Ellie. Do you think you can find them like you found me?” She asked the teen. El nodded.

“I could try and find them like I found you, Robin, but I need to find somewhere quiet to find them.” She explained as she led Robin out of the village centre, people and families were hurriedly packing up to leave as they didn’t want to face the brutality the enforcers would dish out on arriving in the Thieves Forest. They wandered quite a way to a place that was quite high up, with enough breeze to make the brittle autumnal leaves rustle. “The sound helps me focus my mind enough to help me find the people I’m looking for.” She told Robin as she withdrew the same kerchief from her pocket as before.

“Is there anything you need me to do?” Robin asked her.

El smiled at her and shook her head, she loved the way Robin supported her even if she didn’t understand. She sat on the forest floor; Robin joined her looking expectantly at her as she covered her eyes with the scrap of fabric. El took a deep breath and closed her eyes, focusing her attention on the wind as it moved through the leaves above them. It didn’t take long for El to find herself in the dark safe space she had created for herself.

It took longer for her to find Steve. He was pacing back and forth in the castle her, Robin, and Hopper had cased before they had taken Steve. He was furiously muttering to himself, his hands moving rapidly through the air in what appeared to be frustration, his hair a mess, it looked like he had shoved his hands through it multiple times causing it to stand on end. El attempted to focus on what he was saying, she watched his frantic movements for a while.

“He is upset that ‘Eddie’ has not come for him and wonders if it is his fault.” She struggled out to Robin. It took a lot of effort to talk to the outside whilst she was in her liminal space.

“…Who? Steve...?” Robin’s voice filtered through to her, it sounded far away.

“Yes.”

“…do you think ‘Eddie’ could be Roberts? You said that it was more a title than his name…” El didn’t respond to Robin.

It took even longer for her to find Roberts. He was chained to a rough surface by his wrists and his neck. He was sat on the floor, his head tilted back looking at the ceiling, silent tears coursed down his cheeks and he looked utterly broken. He was bare chested and maskless, his curly hair tumbled about him. El felt a jolt of fear as she recognised the roughly hewn walls he leant against. He was in the Zoo of Death. Anxiety flooded El’s chest, and she felt like she couldn’t breathe. Her breath came in gasps as she broke out of her safe place.

“Ellie, what’s wrong? Did something happen?” Robin was immediately there with her arms wrapped around her to make her feel safe. “I’m here, you’re safe, I got you.” She told her as she stroked El’s back. “Just breathe with me, focus on my breaths. Breathe in 1…2…3…, and out 1…2…3…” El breathed in time with Robin over and over until she felt safe enough to pull away and tell her what she had seen.

“Roberts is in the Zoo of Death; the bad men are hurting him.” Tears streamed down her face at the thought of the vibrant man whose spirit appeared broken.

“That’s the place that imprisoned you, isn’t it?” Robin asked softly, her hand gently stroking El’s short hair that was just beginning to curl at the tips. It was the longest she had ever had it. El nodded. “Do you know where it is from here?”

“Yes. Once I can find people in my safe place I can find them in this world. It is like an invisible thread is tied between us.” El explained.

“I know that place holds terrible memories for you, Ellie, but together we’re unstoppable. We’d be able to get him out of there together,” Robin told her certainly, “and we’d be able to put a stop to them once and for all.”

“Can we save the animals too? They are so sad, they are not supposed to be there, and they cry for the wind and the sunlight.” El asked her softly, tears prickling her eyes at the memory of the sounds of longing the animals had made during their captivity.

“We can save the animals too…” Robin said soothingly. “You ready to go get this guy out of there?” El nodded. Robin stood and held her hand out for the skinny teen. El looked up and smiled, she hoped Robin was right and they could save the gentle pirate and the animals she loved.

*

Steve drifted into Prince Thomas’ office. He went nowhere enthusiastically listlessness had descended on him over the past few weeks in Eddie’s continued absence. There had still been no word from the pirate despite Steve having written those four letters. He was tired of his mind going over and over the same concerns all day every day without any answers. The prince had taken Steve’s silence on the subject of their impending marriage as acquiescence to his proposal and preparations were well underway for their marriage tomorrow evening.

The prince was consulting with the captain of the guard about ongoing security arrangements. Steve privately hopped that he had somehow received intelligence that Eddie planned to kidnap him and this was why there were so many new recruits to the guard. It was the first spark of hope he had felt in weeks. Both men stood on his arrival as aristocratic custom dictated in the presence of the prince’s betrothed.

Prince Thomas made his way around his desk to greet Steve; he had to prevent himself from recoiling at his touch.

“My dulcet darling,” the prince greeted him, taking his hands, “tomorrow we marry.” He turned to address the captain of the guard. “Afterwards you will escort us to Florin Channel where every ship in my armada awaits to escort us on our honeymoon.”

Steve frowned at him, that couldn’t be right. “Every ship but your four fastest, you mean.” He corrected him, the spark of hope giving him the courage he had lacked over the past couple of weeks. The prince faltered, looking like he had no clue what Steve was going on a about. “Every ship except the four you sent to look for Eddie.” Steve prompted him, the prince continued to look blankly at him for a second.

“Yes, yes, of course, not those four, it goes without saying.” The prince blustered waving away his concerns. The captain of the guard cleared his throat looking like a rabbit caught in lantern light. He gave the prince a gruff bow and made a swift exit from the room. Steve bristled as the realisation of what the prince had neglected to do settled on him.

“You never sent those ships.” Steve accused him as the prince looked down his nose at him, which was quite a feat considering he was shorter than Steve. “Don’t bother lying.” Righteous indignation rolled through Steve he shrugged the prince’s hands of him and stood back scowling at the man before him. “One way or another, Eddie will put a stop to this sham of a wedding.”

prince moved toward his desk. “You’re a bigger fool than I thought you were.” He told Steve with contempt as he picked up letter opening knife from his desk and hefted it in his hands.

“Yes, I am a fool. I should have recognised you for the coward you are ages ago, instead I let the notion of your power cow me into submission. When in fact you live your life in fear, which is why you are obsessed with killing things. You are afraid to live, afraid to put your faith and trust in others and that is the reason you fear others because no one loves you for anything other than the power you bring them.” Steve’s voice raised as he got into the swing of his speech. The prince slammed the letter opener on to the desk and glared at him, his face a mask of anger.

“I would not say such things if I were you.” He told Steve, his voice softly venomous.

“Why not? You can’t hurt me; don’t you get it? It doesn’t matter if I die, I will still love Eddie. Eddie will continue to love me even if you kill me, just because one of us is dead doesn’t stop the bonds of love. Love only stops when you are no longer thought of or spoken of with fondness. You are bitter because there will be no one to mourn your loss thus, your death will be celebrated by your people because you are a tyrant with no understanding of what makes a truly great leader. And that is love, love makes at great leader, love for the wellbeing of those less powerful than yourself. That is why you are a coward because you cannot conceive of a world where someone would do something for nothing and not through the threat of force!” He tilted his chin so he could look down on the prince.

“I would not say such things if I were you!” The prince spat at him as he lunged around the desk to grab Steve’s arm. He pulled him through the castle, the guard that trailed Steve throughout the day close at their heels. He shoved Steve roughly into his suite and slammed the door shut. The sound of a key being turned in the lock echoed through the room. Steve kicked the bedpost and flung himself down on the bed. Relief coursed through him as he finally knew that it wasn’t his fault that Eddie hadn’t come for him yet. He just had to have faith that Eddie wouldn’t let him down. He would be doing everything in his power to get Steve out of the situation he was in he just had to sit tight.

*

The prince moved through the forest towards the Zoo of Death faster than he had ever travelled there. His anger fuelling his flight from the castle to exact vengeance on the man his betrothed loved. He was never one to turn down the opportunity for revenge should it arise. When he finally throttled the life out of his future husband, he would do it with the joy knowing he had probably killed the greatest love story love story ever to go untold. That would be his reward. That and the untold riches that would come from backing the winning side in the war his husband’s death would start.

He hit the knot on the tree forcefully and flung himself through the secret entrance. He ran down through the levels of the Zoo of Death until he reached the last one where Eddie was kept. His beloved looked up at his arrival, puzzled by his appearance. He had said he couldn’t join the experimentation today due to how busy he would be all day. He stormed up to where Eddie was pinioned by the restraints, tubes and funnels connecting him to the machine.

The prince banged his fists on to the wooden platform where Eddie lay. Eddie tried to turn his head to look at him, but couldn’t due to how he was held down.

“It will give me great pleasure in knowing that your death will make me rich beyond my wildest imaginings,” he ground out at Eddie, “but what will be the greatest joy is knowing that with your dying breath you will suffer more pain than anyone ever has before. This will two-fold, the physical pain that the machine will bring and the knowledge that you won’t be able to see your love before you die. Know this, I will make sure that Steve suffers greatly before I snuff out his life on our wedding night. So much for your great love story.” And with that he slammed the lever up to fifty. The sound of rushing water filled the cavern, and the wheel began to spin. The scream it dragged out of Eddie was unlike any the prince had ever heard before and he had killed a lot of people in a wide variety of ways. It thrilled him as he bent over the count’s desk and kissed him senseless as the man in black screamed his life away behind them.

*

The anguished scream that echoed through the forest lifted the hairs on the back of Robin’s neck, gooseflesh trailed down her arms at the sound. She looked over to El and saw her shudder in response as they made their way through the refugees from the Thieves Forest in the gloaming of the evening.

“Do you know what that sound is, El?” Robin asked her, the teen looked at her with large, frightened eyes. “That is the sound of ultimate suffering, my heart made that sound the day my mother was murdered. Roberts makes it now.”

“How do you know that, Robin?”

“His true love is marrying that wretched bully tomorrow night, who else would have cause for anguish such as he is experiencing.” Robin told her dramatically. El gave her a quizzical look. “You don’t think so?” El shook her head.

“No, Robin, I think that they are using the machine on him.”

“What machine?”

“I do not know what it does to people, but I have seen what it does to the animals they used to experiment on with it. It is a machine made only to make things suffer. It causes great pain. The people at the laboratory enjoy making things suffer before they die, but I have never heard anyone suffer the amount of pain that that person is going through now.” El explained softly. Robin’s blood ran cold, what sort of people would do this. Who would want to invent new ways of suffering and agonising ways of killing people. These were the people El had been forced to grow up with, it was a wonder that she was so gentle, kind and empathetic. Robin wondered about El’s original family, were they the reason for El’s enduring gentleness. She pulled her in for a half hug as they veered off from the crowd in the direction of the screams of anguish emanating from the forest.

Chapter Text

“You never told me how your mother came to be killed, Robin.” El asked curiously, as they followed El’s invisible thread towards where Roberts was being kept. Robin explained about the sword and the six fingered man. She halted as she realised that El was no longer walking with her. The teen was stood stock still looking like she had seen a ghost.

“He had six fingers on his right hand?” She asked, her voice barely above a whisper.

“Yes, why?” Robin’s heart was already beginning to plummet when El answered.

“That’s Count Brenner, he has six fingers on his right hand…” El trailed off at the look that must have been on her face.

“Why didn’t you tell me you knew where to find the six fingered man, El!” Robin asked hurt drenching every word she yelled at El.

“You never told me about him, Robin, you never asked if I had met a man with six fingers. I would have told you immediately if I knew, I promise. Friends don’t lie, especially sisters.” El was hunched in on herself, she hadn’t meant to hurt Robin. She was deeply upset with herself. “I am so sorry. I would have told you sooner had I known. At least, you know who he is now… We know where to find him.” El forced herself to look up at Robin. Robin was looking at the forest floor clenching and unclenching her fists, her breathing rapid. Tears were spilling down Robin’s face.

“By tomorrow I will have exacted my revenge for my mother’s murder, and thirteen years of trying to find her killer will be over. Will you help me track him if he somehow manages to escape?” She finally looked up at El, hope blazing in her eyes.

El nodded emphatically. “Of course, I will do everything in my power to help you.” Robin strode towards her to pull her into a rather damp and snotty hug.

“Thank you.” She said resting her chin on the top of El’s head as she talked. “Can you tell how far we have left before we get to wherever it is they’re keeping Roberts?”

“It’s not far, perhaps ten minutes’ walk or so.” They pulled apart, the night was rapidly growing chilly and neither she nor Robin were dressed in warm clothes. They needed to get moving.

It didn’t take them long until they came to a clearing where El paused and looked around confusedly.

“I do not know how to get in, my eyes were blindfolded to protect them from the sunlight because they kept me underground so long.” She explained.

“Why, don’t we wait, someone is bound to be along soon. If it’s Brenner all the better.” A wicked gleam lit Robin’s eyes as they hid themselves to await someone who could get them inside. They huddled together for warmth.

They were probably waiting less than an hour, and night had fully descended on the forest, an animal shrieked nearby. El was not afraid of being in the forest, for she was sure to her very soul that she was the most terrifying thing in it. Soon they heard the jovial sound of whistling and the squeak of a wooden as a rotund older man came into view. Before Robin had time to react El was on her feet.

“Mister Owens, it is Ellie, I got lost after Hopper was killed and I am trying to find my way home. I do not know how to get in.” She looked at the man with her huge eyes pleading in the lantern light.

“Miss Ellie? What are you doing here! I had hoped you had escaped and found a different life when news of Hopper’s death reached us.” He frowned at her with concern. “I can hide you for the night, as this bitter weather will surely be the death of you, if you stay out here over night. I’ll make sure you’re gone by morning so that the prince and the count don’t find you.” He leant over to a broad tree and hit a knot that was about his head height. The concealed door swung open revealing the entrance. El looked over her shoulder to where Robin was still hidden, as Owens began to descend to the Zoo of Death below. She tilted her head to show that she should follow.

“Mister Owens, do you know what that screaming was about earlier, it frightened me?” She asked as Robin followed behind them on feathered feet.

“I’m afraid that the prince came in in a foul mood and killed the poor man that the count was using the machine to experiment on.” He told her gently. El’s stomach plummeted and tears pricked her eyes at the thought that Roberts had died in such a horrendous fashion. She caught Robin’s eye and saw the shock on the woman’s face.

“That’s enough of that.” Robin leant round El and smartly rapped Owens on the skull with the hilt of her sword, he crumpled to the ground unconscious. “Where’s this machine, El? Perhaps Roberts’ body is still there?”

“Why would we want his body, Robin?” El asked mystified.

“Because we can take it to a miracle worker and get him resurrected if we hurry.” Robin told her, stepping neatly over Owens body.

“It’s on the lowest level.” El explained.

“Of course it would be.” Robin huffed as she took off down the steps, closely followed by El at her heels. They bypassed many different animals on the way down, with varying degrees of killing capability. El used her powers to unlock the cages on each level as they passed. She made sure to shut the door behind them once they entered the room where the machine was. She didn’t want a polar bear or a tiger sneaking up on them as they tried to help Roberts.

Roberts body lay on a wheeled wooden palette by a giant waterwheel. It still had funnels attached to it. Robin crossed the floor and immediately began to detach them. El joined her looking down at the Roberts’ body, she placed her hand on his wrist. It was still warm, not as warm as herself and Robin, but certainly not cold. She leant over and placed her head on the pirate’s chest. She couldn’t hear the beat of a heart nor detect the rise and fall of his breathing.

“He is dead, Rob.” She whispered. “Now we will never get a job as p-”

(“What do you mean Eddie is dead? He can’t be dead!” Dustin’s voice was squeaky with outrage. “He must be faking it somehow!”

“You want me to carry on reading this or not?” Wayne asked him evenly, attempting to disrupt Dustin’s outburst.

“He can’t be dead!” Dustin yelled. “Who kills Prince Thomas?”

“I’m afraid I don’t understand?” Wayne tilted his head to try and get Dustin to elaborate on his statement.

“Who kills Prince Thomas, at the end? Is it Robin, is it El? Is it Steve?” Dustin’s words were filled with incredulity.

“Prince Thomas doesn’t get killed by any of them, Dustin.” Wayne told him gently.

“You mean he wins? Son of a bitch! What did you read me this thing for?” Dustin was disgusted with what Wayne had said and folded his arms in a sulk.

“You’ve been very sick and you’re taking this story very seriously. I think we better stop now.” Wayne closed the book and began to get up out of the chair. Dustin reached out his hand and gingerly placed it on the older man’s wrist as he stood up.

“No, I-I’m ok, please don’t stop, Wayne.” Dustin pleaded softly. “I’m ok, just please sit down. I’m alright.”

“Ok, ok, I’m sitting.” Wayne sat back down making an elaborate display of getting himself comfortable and finding the page he had lost when he had closed the book. “Right, where were we…? Oh yes, in the Zoo of Death…”)

“He is dead, Rob.” She whispered in disappointment. “Now we will never get jobs as pirates.”

“Don’t worry, this is just a minor setback. We Buckleys don’t take defeat easily.” Robin told her as she looked down at the pirate. Despite how sad she felt for the man in black, the warmth of joy filled El’s chest.

“‘We Buckleys’? You mean I’m a Buckley too?” She asked Robin delightedly.

“Of course, you’re a Buckley, you’re my sister, aren’t you?” Robin smiled at her as she began to cross the room. El felt her cheeks ache with the huge smile she wore at Robin’s words. “Now bring Roberts body with you, we’re going to buy ourselves a miracle.” She pocketed the gold coins that lay scattered across the desk. El focused her powers and Roberts body gently levitated into the air behind them.

Robin checked through the small window in the heavy wooden door to make sure none of the dangerous animals, had followed them down here. Once she seemed satisfied that the coast was clear she beckoned for El to follow her. They cautiously made their way back up into the crisp autumn night.

*

Robin led them to a tiny wattle and daub hovel in the woods. It was late by the time they got there, but there was still light shining between the shutters.

“How did you know about this place?” El asked, it wouldn’t be easy to find if you didn’t already know where to look.

“They helped me when I had nothing, but my sword left, I was begging in the Thieves Forest. Took me in, fed me, even though they didn’t have much themselves. They’re good people. I send them money when I can to pay for their kindness and for them to help others like me.”

“Who are they?”

“They’re some young people that used to work for the king as miracle workers, but the prince fired them and discredited them. Max was lucky to escape with her life; they wanted to burn her as a witch.” Robin explained as she rapped on the door.

“Go away! We don’t buy from door-to-door salesmen!” A belligerent girl’s voice called out. Robin knocked loudly again.

“Max, it’s Rob! Open up, I need your help!” She yelled.

“Not again! Who did you piss off this time, dalcop!” A small window at the top of the door swung open revealing a red-haired teen girl with long braids and an annoyed expression. She scowled at Robin.

“No one yet, but we’re about to!” Robin told her with a big grin. “All we require is one of your miracles to make it happen.” The girl on the other side of the door groaned and swung it open. She leant on the door frame and folded her arms defensively.

“And what sort of miracle would you be after?” She looked at Robin shrewdly.

“A resurrection.”

“Do you have resurrection money? Because that kind of miracle doesn’t come cheap.” The teenager’s voice held little patience and great annoyance at being bothered with Robin’s problems.

“We’ve got gold coins and the promise of causing the prince great pain should you pull this off.” Robin explained like she was spreading her wares before a customer to examine.

“What sort of pain?” The redhead tilted her head in curiosity.

“Emotional, physical and possibly the complete loss of life.” Robin promised her with a sweet smile.

“Now you’re talking!” She said joyfully as she looked around Robin and jumped when she noticed El and Roberts’ floating corpse. “What the fuck? Your girl can make shit float, and you’ve come knocking here for a miracle?”

“It seems her powers stop at bringing the dead back to life. We’re in need of a specialist and you’re the only person that I know that can do that.” Robin wheedled.

She huffed, “Fine bring them in.” She sounded resigned, as she turned and led them into the tiny cottage. There was a fire in the hearth, a clean, scrubbed pine table, shelves of books, potions, ointments and ingredients, and two chairs. There was a curtain closing off an area towards the back, presumably where the girl slept.

“Max, this is my sister Ellie Buckley, El this is Miracle Max.” Robin introduced them.

“Uh, it’s just Max. I’m not a miracle worker anymore, just your local wise woman.” Max told El with an eye roll. El gave her small self-conscious wave, she had never spent time with another girl her own age before, and she felt more than a little daunted. “Just float him on to the table, let’s get this shit over with.” She instructed El like she saw this kind of thing every day. El did as she was bid and gently placed Roberts onto the table. Max reached for the pirate’s wrist, lifted into the air and dropped it with a heavy thud.

“Eh, I’ve seen worse.” She grimaced. Max used her fingertips to palpitate his chest watching carefully as she made her preliminary examinations of Roberts’ body.

“We’re in a bit of a rush here, Max.” Robin told her, her arms wrapped around herself in an effort to stop herself from fidgeting.

“You rush me, Buckley, and you get a shitty miracle. Is that what you want? I very much doubt you’d like him to come back as one of the undead. That would be bad for everyone, including my business, if word got around. Now, park your ass and let me work.” Max snapped at her as she continued to her examination. El smiled, she liked how confident and spicy Max was. “So, how much money am I doing this miracle for?”

“We have five gold, some silver and quite a bit of copper.” El told her, she didn’t really understand how much the coins were worth other than you exchanged them for things you needed.

Max whistled and raised her eyebrows. “Call it one gold and one silver bit, and I’ll give you a top-notch miracle.”

“You drive a hard bargain, but fine.” Robin grumbled as she rummaged through her coin purse.

“So, other than using him to cause the prince great pain, what’s this guy to you? Does he owe you money?” Max asked curiously.

“I need him to help me avenge my mother. It’s been thirteen years, Max.”

“You still chasing that? It’ll kill you one day if you can’t let it go.” Max told her matter of factly.

“I’m so close, Max, don’t deny me this.” Robin said earnestly. Max gave her another eyeroll.

She shouldered a set of bellows that she had picked up from by the fire, “Now let’s see what your man here has to say for himself.” She squeezed Roberts’ cheeks to open his lips and placed the bellows into his mouth with more care than El was expecting.

“But he’s dead, how can he talk?” Asked El curiously, as Max pumped the bellows twice and the dead man’s chest swelled with air.

“Don’t be ridiculous, of course, he can.” Max told them with the air of someone who knows exactly what they’re doing. “It just so happens your friend here is only mostly dead. There’s a big difference between mostly dead and all dead.” She elaborated, “Now, mostly dead is slightly alive. With all dead there’s usually only one thing you can do.”

“What’s that?” Whispered El watching the girl with wide eyes, she had never met anyone like her, and she was enthralled.

“Go through their pockets for loose change.” The girl cackled at her own joke as she lent down so her mouth was level with the pirate’s ear. “Hey, dalcop, hey, you in there! What’s so important to you that you’re clinging on to life by your fingernails?” She shouted making El jump.

Max pressed heavily on to Roberts’ chest with her hands. “True love…” He groaned out.

“Fucking hell,” Max complained, “at least he could have said something original. His girl is probably cheating on him as we speak. Do you know how many times I’ve had mostly dead people say this only for them to have broken up with their beloved by the end of the w-”

“Liar! Liar! Liaaaar!” Yelled a teen boy, with dark skin and tight black curls, who looked to be the same age as Max. He had appeared from behind the curtain; he must have been sleeping there when they came in.

“Get back, dalcop, you don’t know what you’re talking about.” Max said with a huff attempting to wave him away.

“I’m not a dalcop, I’m your boyfriend, and after what you just said, I’m not even sure I want to be that anymore. I know when you’re lying, Max. No one says ‘true love’ when you try and bring them back from the dead. It’s always money or revenge. No offence, Rob.” He said politely to Robin.

“None taken.” She held up her hand.

“‘True love’, Max,” he said “‘true love’! You know how rare that is!” The gangly teen continued.

“Shut up, Lucas!” Max ground out. Lucas turned to Robin and El who were unable to look away from the squabbling couple.

“Ever since Prince Thomas fired us, Max’s confidence has been shattered, she doubts her own extraordinary talents and takes it out on those around her.”

“Shut up, Lucas! You promised me you’d never say that name!” She yelled covering her ears as he chased her around the table yelling “Thomas!” over and over again.

“Shut it the both of you!” Robin slapped her hands down on the table to get their attention. “This is Steve’s true love! If you heal him, you’ll stop Thomas’ wedding.”

Max shoved Lucas out of the way to hear more of what Robin had got to say, “If I make him better, you’re gonna make the prince’s life a misery?”

“I already promised you we would, before you’d even let us in!” Robin responded incredulously. “You need to listen more and get out of your own head.”

Lucas gave Max a playful backhanded slap to her shoulder. “See, that’s what I’ve been telling you.” Max scowled at him.

“I went to see his boyfriend in the town square when it was announced that he and Prince Thomas were getting engaged. He’s handsome, unhappy, but handsome.” Max told Robin and El thoughtfully. “I just thought he was depressed because he was being forced to marry that pig, when he was actually in love with someone else. No wonder the poor man looked haunted.”

“So, you’ll do it?” El asked. Max nodded and started pulling potions and ingredients from the shelf.

“Woo hoo!” Celebrated Robin…

*

A couple of hours later Lucas and Max were coating a pill that was the size of a small conker in a new import from the America’s called chocolate.

“It makes it go down easier,” Lucas explained, “and you’ll need to wait fifteen minutes for full potency. Also, no swimming for at least what? An hour?” He queried of Max.

“Yeah, an hour, a good hour.” She confirmed, sarcastically.

“Will it work?” Robin asked.

“Of course it’ll fucking work!” Max snorted, giving Robin an eyeroll for doubting her abilities. “They don’t call me Miracle Max for nothing.”

“Well, I guess, thanks for everything.” Robin told them as she took the pill that Max hand carefully wrapped in parchment and El threw on a heavy black cloak. “Where did you get that from?”

“Lucas gave it to me after I told him how cold it was outside.” El explained, she began to levitate Roberts off the table and out the door.

Max and Lucas came to the door to wave them off.

“Good luck, ladies, have fun storming the castle!” Max called after them.

“Don’t forget to let us know if you manage to overthrow the monarchy!” Lucas added as they both waved enthusiastically.

*

When they finally arrived outside of the castle it was beginning to get light, the prince’s wedding was set to happen early that morning. They had managed to get themselves on a parapet above the courtyard where Steve had been presented to the masses as the prince’s betrothed. It was lit by torch light showing a huge number of people guarding the gate to the castle.

“That’s far more than I expected!” Squeaked El. Crouching behind the wall they were hidden behind.

“Doesn’t matter. Once we get this into him, we’ll be unstoppable.” Robin carefully gathered Roberts body to her and worked his mouth open. She held the precious pill out to El. “Give that a lick will you, it’ll help us get it down his throat.” El lent forward and gave the chunky lozenge a cautious lick, she’d never tasted chocolate before. It was sweet and rich, and she instantly wanted more. Robin whipped it away and tucked it into the dead pirate’s mouth. She massaged his throat to make him swallow it, like El had seen Mister Owens do with a cat once. “Now we wait.” Robin settled in, getting comfortable with the dead man’s weight resting on her. “They said fifteen minutes, right?”

“Yes, Lucas said fifteen minutes.” They both jumped as Roberts eyes flew open and he started yelling. El flung herself forward and covered his mouth with her hands as Robin hissed “shut up!” at him.

“Eww!” El Squawked as Roberts licked her hand, she pulled them away and wiped them on her trews. “That was much faster than fifteen minutes!” She looked at Robin who shrugged. Roberts’ eyes looked wildly about him.

“Why won’t my arms move?” He asked them having realised he wasn’t in imminent danger.

“Well, you’ve been mostly dead all night.” Robin attempted to explain. “We had Miracle Max make you a pill to bring you back from the dead.”

“Why am I here with you two?”

“We wanted to work on your pirate ship; we needed jobs after you killed Hopper.” El told him, Robin gave her a strange look. Had she somehow got that wrong? Wasn’t that what they needed him for originally?

“That’s a problem for future us, Ellie.” Robin told her. “Let me try to explain.” Robin said to Roberts. “No, that would take too long, let me sum up: Steve is set to marry Prince Thomas in little less than an hour. Their wedding is at dawn. So, all we have to do is get in there break up the wedding, rescue Steve and make our escape, after I’ve killed Count Brenner.”

“That doesn’t leave us much time for pissing about.” The pirate frowned, his thumb was moving up and down in thought.

“Your thumb is moving!” El informed him proudly. “That is awesome!”

“So, it is! I’ve always been a quick healer.” Roberts gave her a quick grin.

“Do you have a name? Calling you ‘The Dread Pirate Roberts’ is gonna get old real fast.” Robin asked him.

“I suppose I can trust you with my real name, since you did resurrect me, and all that. You can call me Eddie, but if I ever do employ you, it’s Roberts, got it.” He narrowed his eyes at them. They nodded. “So, what are our liabilities?”

“There’s only currently one working castle gate; it’s the only way in and out. Plus, it’s guarded by sixty people…” Robin told him.

“What are our assets?”

“Your brains, El’s powers and my sword.” She answered.

“Could be worse… I don’t suppose I can borrow that dashing looking cloak you’re wearing, El?” He asked with a huge grin.

“We should get going if we want this plan to work.” Robin told them, El focused her concentration so that Eddie drifted upright with them as they left the parapet. “I’m gonna need a sword eventually.” The pirate told them.

“But you can’t even lift one…” Robin told him.

“That’s true, but I’ve got to look the part of a terrifying pirate even if I can’t act the part as I usually would. I can at least grip one.” Eddie explained his thinking. “I’m sure we’re going to encounter problems once we’re inside.”

“No shit, Eddie, that’s the understatement of the century. How am I going to find the count? Once I do, how do I find you two again? Once we’ve met up how do we escape?” Robin prattled. El could tell that now they were nearing the time to finally go head-to-head with the count Robin was nervous, she was talking nonstop. Always a sure-fire sign that Robin was feeling the pressure.

“Rob, Rob, he has just stopped being dead. Give him a break we will figure it out. I will always be able to find you, even if you cannot find us.” She soothed the anxious woman.

“Yeah, sorry, that was probably quite overwhelming.” Robin grimaced at him.

“You’re not kidding!” Eddie huffed a laugh.

“I have this funny feeling that we are going to win!” El squeaked with excitement.

*

“Considering we’re getting married in the next hour, you don’t seem particularly excited, Sugarplum.” Prince Thomas drawled as he fastened a particularly gaudy white gold chain at Steve’s neck that was adorned with teardrop shaped pearls. Steve was bedecked in finery, wearing cloth of silver with heavy slashes on the sleeves showing off the fine pale blue silk shirt he wore underneath his doublet. Once again, this one ensemble would have bought his family farm several times over, he felt sick at the show of wealth when so many in the kingdom couldn’t even afford a bed or a meal. His thoughts strayed back to Robin, hoping she had managed to find a better situation after Hopper’s death.

“Why should I be?” Steve asked in disbelief.

“I’m told grooms often are…I know I am.” He told him in that fake pleasant tone he used when Steve was being obstinate.

“I’m being forced into a marriage I don’t want, by a person I don’t love, in a show of wealth so extravagant it could feed the country for a year. I’m also still holding out hope that Eddie will turn up to put the cat amongst the pigeons despite everything you’ve done to try and put a stop to it.” He told the prince as he stood from his dressing table, the chair narrowly missed hitting the prince which frustrated Steve no end, as he rushed to leave the room. Nothing seemed to be going his way; he couldn’t shake his fucking guard, and Eddie most probably wasn’t going to turn up. He stomped through the castle making sure everyone he passed knew he wasn’t happy, the guard trailing along behind him.

He headed for the where he knew he could be alone to watch his last sunrise. It was the highest room in the castle and faced east to catch the earliest sun of the day. He was guaranteed to be alone with his thoughts here; the guard would stay on the other side of the door. He made himself comfortable on a cushioned bench, as a bittersweet sensation pulled at his throat and pricked his eyes. He'd hoped to find a way to escape himself having given up hope that Eddie would find a way to rescue him from this and it looked like there was no way of avoiding the wedding night. And so, with no hope, no love, and no plan to escape the guard, his only way out was death.

He was glad he had taken the time to come up here to see it, it was truly one of the most breathtaking sights one could be afforded here on earth. He felt like he had been gifted a show just for him. Today’s sunrise was a spectacular display of early autumn leaf colours reflected in the sky, accentuated with pinks and pale blues. Tears spilled down his cheeks. If he had still been on the farm he would have taken Lady for a ride, he had spent time with her yesterday making sure that she was groomed to perfection, he had brought her favourite treat of a carrot and enjoying the gentle velvety sensation of her taking it from his hand. He had cried when he left her, but she was in good hands. The stable hands loved her gentle nature. He closed his eyes and imagined how the crisp autumn air would feel blowing through his hair, the chill making his eyes water as he let go of Lady’s reigns and held his arms out, so it felt like he was flying-

There was a sharp knock on the door and the guard’s voice filtered through the wood. “My lord, it is time we joined the prince, your wedding is nigh.”

Steve took a shaky, but settling breath and cuffed tears from his eyes. He cleared his throat and opened the door. He nodded to the guard and resolutely led the way down to the church below.

Music sung by the monks drifted through the halls. He was shown to a room off the vestibule of the church where he could wait for the guests to be seated. The guard sat with him this time. He could hear murmurs and laughter of the guests and felt like he was existing in a separate universe from everyone else. One of the lower members of the clergy poked his head through the door and gave a nod to the guard. She turned to him and gave him a tight-lipped smile then gestured for him to exit out of the room.

Steve could hardly breathe with his heart in his throat as he, walked down the aisle towards his groom. He reached the alter and knelt in front of the Bishop Bauman avoiding the prince’s attempt to catch his eye. He didn’t want to see the smug smile of the prince thinking he had won.

“Dearly beloved,” the bishop intoned in a voice dripping with derision and sarcasm. Steve had often wondered why he remained in the position when he blatantly held contempt for the religion he was supposed to be upholding. “Marriage is what brings us together today. Marriage that blessed arrangement.” Here he paused and rolled his eyes, so hard Steve wondered if he was going to have some kind of seizure. He gave a great put-upon huff and continued. “That dream within a dream…”

Shouts sounded from outside as the bishop droned on. “Stand your ground men! Stand your ground!”

Murmurs and rustling of expensive clothing created a susurrus behind him, as yells continued to drift through the stained glass from outside. Hope began to blossom in Steve’s chest, the only person who would be creating such a ruckus today would be Eddie. He attempted to stop a smile from twisting his lips.

“…then love, true love, will follow you forever…” The prince turned from the bishop to indicate to the count he should deal with what was happening. He heard the count click his fingers and the footsteps of several people left the church as shouts continued to echo from outside the building.

“So, treasure your lov-”

“Skip to the end.” The prince bit out in frustration.

“Don’t you treasure our nations glorious wedding vows, my prince, it would be unprecedented of a regent to rush their them…” The bishop gave the prince a shark like smile.

“Just get on with it. I haven’t got time for your games, Bauman.” The prince glared at the clergy man.

“Have you the ring?” Murray asked Prince Thomas, sounding bored of the whole affair. The prince grabbed Steve’s hand and unceremoniously shoved a chunky gold and ruby ring on to Steve’s ring finger.

“Sounds like someone is trying to stage a rescue.” Steve told him, hope bubbling over despite his best efforts to temper it.

“Your special someone is dead, whatever is going on out there has nothing to do with you. I know this because I killed him myself.” Prince Thomas spat in fury.

“Then why are you afraid, if you know him to be dead why have so many guarding the castle? I can see the fear etched on your face as plain as day.” Steve rolled his shoulders to pull himself up to his full height which was several inches taller than the prince. The prince ignored him to focus on what the bishop was doing.

“… and do you Prince Steve take-”

“Say ‘I now pronounce you husbands’, ‘husbands’, damn you!” Shouted the Prince, losing all attempt at controlling his emotions.

“For fuck sake, if I must,” Bauman sighed like he was extremely put out by all of this, “I now pronounce you husbands.” Bauman moved towards the prince leaning over him to anoint his head with holy water.

Bauman whispered as he anointed Steve’s head with holy water, “Sorry, Steve, I tried to keep the service going as long as possible to give whatever was going on out there a chance, but remember this, you never exchanged vows so in the eyes of the church the marriage never took place.” He gave him a quick wink and turned away. Prince Thomas harshly grabbed Steve’s arm and shoved him into the keeping of his elderly father.

“Take my spouse to our honeymoon suite.” He rushed from the church, presumably, to deal with whatever was going on outside. The king and queen gently guided Steve through the corridors and hallways of the castle followed by his guard at a respectful distance behind them.

“He didn’t come…” Steve murmured sadly to himself; the only way Eddie would have missed rescuing Steve from a marriage he knew Steve would kill himself to avoid would be if he was dead. What the prince told him must have been true. The emptiness that small spark of hope had kept at bay consumed him entirely. He knew what he would do to himself once he was alone, he was resolute, there was no way he would allow his body to be touched by someone he hated. Someone that wasn’t Eddie.

“That was a strange wedding.” The queen said tonelessly, she didn’t appear to be talking to either of them, just the universe at large. The king, who was quite deaf, wouldn’t have heard what she had said, he was gentle and didn’t appear to understand a lot of what was going on most days. She didn’t wait for a response as she bustled ahead of the pair. The king and Steve drifted along in her wake.

He paused which made the king stop alongside him, as their arms were linked. Steve gave the king a soft kiss on his forehead. The king looked up at him with a fatherly twinkle in his eye. “What was that for?”

“Because you’ve always been so kind to me, and I won’t be seeing you again since I’ll be killing myself once we reach the honeymoon suite…” Steve told him softly. The old king nodded along like he understood everything Steve said, even though Steve knew he was deaf as a post. The old man often guessed what people were saying and had a few stock answers. Steve gave a sad smile when he finally gave his response.

“Won’t that be nice, sweetie…” He turned and carried on guiding Steve to the room where he would take his life. The old man suddenly yelled out, “he kissed me!” To his wife. Steve heard the guard behind bite back a laugh that echoed down the hallway.

*

The guards in the square looked restless from where Eddie and his two new friends were hidden watching them. According to Robin their numbers were swelled by a brute squad organised by the prince and the captain of the guard. Some were armed correctly holding a pike, spear or sword, but the majority were holding a pitchfork, staff or a hefty stick. Eddie’s plan was to strike fear into the hearts of the least well trained and hope that the hysteria caught.

He attempted to stand up, but still couldn’t hold his own body weight, he felt boneless. El used her powers to support him and he asked the other two to give him the once over. He wanted to make sure the cloak was as pristine as possible, with no bits of hay stuck to it. Eddie was taller than most, but only by a few inches, matching Steve in height. He wasn’t, however, as well built as Steve, his form was slender and lithe. He didn’t fill out the intimidating black cloak as much as he would have liked, but it would have to do. He just hoped that his plan worked. He thought it would if his flare for theatrics and fuckery during his pirating career was anything to go by, surely land lubbers couldn’t be much different to seafarers when it came to giving them the heebie jeebies.  

“Ready when you are, El.” He told the girl. He slowly drifted a few inches above the ground until he came to stand in front of the guards. He could hear monks singing in the church whose windows looked out onto the square.

“Good morning, I’d like to introduce myself, you may know me as the Dread Pirate Roberts…” He began to rise further and further off the ground, his arms held out from his body. The guards gaped up at him from where they stood, a good twenty feet below him. “I can see my reputation precedes me.” He gave his audience a wicked grin. “Now, I would like your help in liberating my boyfriend, Steve. He’s being held hostage in the castle behind you against his will, and this morning he will be forced to marry the prince.” This caused the guards to leave their positions and begin to rapidly talk amongst themselves.

“Stand your ground, stand your ground!” Shouted the captain of the guard. One of the guards, an official looking one, stepped forward from the conflab they were having with their peers.

“Are you Eddie?” She called up to him, “Prince Steve’s Eddie?” She sounded hopeful.

Eddie’s breath caught in shock, he felt totally blind sided. “Yes, that’s me. I’m Eddie.” His voice broke with emotion; they knew about him. Steve had obviously spoken about him proudly and with love.

“In that case, Eddie, not only will we stand aside for you to enter the building, we will stand with you to storm the castle and put an end to the tyranny wrought on us by Prince Thomas.” The crowd of guards cheered at the woman’s words. Eddie noticed El and Robin come to stand below him. The guards crossed the square and turned to face the captain standing alone before the castle gate. El gently lowered him back to being a few inches above the ground and wiped her nose.

The three of them and their new army began to cross the square. The captain of the guard pulled the lever to close the portcullis; it was almost closed by the time they crossed the square. Eddie placed an arm around Robin’s shoulders.

“Be a doll and get that, Ellie.” He instructed El. He felt her power leave him as Robin took his weight. The portcullis swung up and held above them, as they and their supporters crowded the castle gate.

“Give us the gate key!” Robin demanded of the captain of the guard her hand out.

“I have no gate key.” The man lied blatantly.

“El, snap his neck.” Robin asked El, whilst she smiled evilly at the man in front of her.

“Oh, you mean this gate key!” The man pulled the key from his shirt and handed it to El. One of the mob of people behind them grabbed the man, bound his hands and gagged him as El turned the key in the well-oiled lock and opened the door to the castle.

Once inside they were in a cavernous hallway. Eddie asked El to turn him so he could address the people who supported them.

“We’re looking for Steve, Prince Thomas, and Count Brenner. Do what you like with the prince, we have no interest in him. If any of you come across Steve, tell him I’m here and I’m looking for him. Count Brenner, the six fingered man, on the other hand should be detained at all costs, no one is to hurt him unless it’s Robin, here.” He indicated Robin. “He’s hers alone, got that?” The mob murmured its agreement. The three of them went one way leaving the guards to disperse through the castle.

“El, didn’t you say that once you made a connection with someone in your safe space you could find them by following an invisible thread?” Robin asked as they headed upstairs. “You’ve found Steve once; would you be able to find him now?”

“Yes, Robin, he is a floor higher up than us.”

“Is that how you found me?” Eddie asked intrigued, El nodded.

They continued to a long corridor that had an intersection part of the way down. They rounded a corner looking for a way to get to the floor above them. Suddenly Count Brenner and four guards came running from the opposite direction. Brenner looked at them with derision noticing Eddie alive but being held up by El’s magic.

“Kill the woman but keep the girl and the man for questioning.” Eddie heard El gulp; he could practically feel the fear roll off the girl. She must have been experimented on too during her time at the zoo. The thought hit him like a slap to the face at what the poor girls’ non-existent childhood must be like. The guards rushed at them, but before Robin had even drawn her sword, they were all dead on the ground with their necks snapped.

“You’ve grown stronger since we last saw each other I see.” Count Brenner drawled unable to take his cold grey eyes off her.

“The love of my friends has helped me to do that. I only kept you alive so that my sister can exact her revenge on you.” El told him.

“Your sister...?” He repeated, confused.

“Yes, allow me to introduce myself,” Robin stepped forward with a flourish. “Hello, my name is Robin Anne Buckley, you killed my mother, prepare to die!” She brandished her mother’s sword, and the count turned tail and ran. So, he was ok with bullying and experimenting on children, but vengeful women were too much for him, good to know. Robin gave chase and left Eddie and El in her wake, a few moments later she could be heard screaming for El’s help.

“Help, Ellie, please! He’s getting away from me. Please!” He could hear the anguish in Robin’s voice.

“Wait there, Eddie, do not move.” El instructed him.

“Do I look like I’m capable of going anywhere, Ellie-belly?” Eddie chuckled in a self-deprecating fashion as she hooked his arms through those of a suit of armour. She ran off to help Robin get her revenge.

Eddie could see the swords on the floor where they fell as El killed those men, he just needed to find the strength to pick one up. Eddie’s knees were touching the floor as he pulled one arm out of the armour. He lent heavily against it as he pulled the other one free. He slumped to the ground using his foot to flick one of the slender swords his way. With the sword in hand, he crawled his way with agonising slowness down the corridor hoping to find the stairs. After a couple of wrong turns, he finally found a room bedecked with flowers and petals sprinkled on his bed. This must be the honeymoon suite. He forced himself to crawl to the bed and somehow managed to climb up on to it. He was beyond exhausted, coming back from the dead was hard fucking work.

About ten minutes later Steve entered the room, someone on the other side of the door wished him a pleasant honeymoon. Steve shut the door and flung himself into a chair, not even glancing at the bed. He bent over the dressing table and took out a dagger out of a wooden case, which he resolutely placed it to his chest. He took a deep breath and-

“You’ve got fantastic tits, sweetheart, are you sure you want to ruin a chest as magnificent as that? I would have thought that poison would be a better way to maintain that perfect visage!” He playfully called over to Steve.

“You absolute fucker! I thought you were dead, for a second fucking time, you cunt!” Steve threw down the dagger on to the desk with a clatter as he ranted his way over to where Eddie lay on the bed. He straddled Eddie’s lap and cupped his face with his hands before kissing him senseless. Eddie was sure he had died and this was heaven, he stiffly moved his hands to cup Steve’s perfect peach of an ass.

“Gently.” He groaned out, “Gently!”

“Is that all you’ve got to say for yourself, you bastard! I’m having an affair right now because I’m a married fucking man and you turned up late to the party!”

“Did you say I do?” Eddie asked him softly.

“Luckily for you we skipped that part so I’m actually free to do this.” Steve tilted Eddie’s chin up and dotted a line of kisses along his jaw. “Where’s your enthusiasm, Eds? Have I done something wrong?” Steve asked pulling away, his features scrunched in confusion.

“Nothing wrong, like at all, sweetheart.” He slowly and carefully moved his hand up to cup Steve’s face, stroking it with his thumb. “I’m just recovering from being killed by that evil husband of yours.”

“He killed you?! How are you alive?”

“Robin and El bought a miracle and resurrected me.” He felt a jubilant smile pull at his features, which was reciprocated by the love of his life. Steve lent forward and nuzzled his nose affectionately.

“I’m so glad that they did, I’ll owe them for the rest of my life.”

“You and me both, princess.” He had just used all of his strength to reach up to kiss Steve chastely on his lips when the sounds of a kerfuffle came through the door.

“Let me past I say!” Came the prince’s voice. “How dare you deny me entry anywhere in my own castle!... I’ll have your head for treason!”

Eddie huffed in frustration as Steve got off the bed, taking the sword Eddie had pilfered with him. He opened the door and found the guard that usually trailed around after him holding the prince at sword point.

“What’s going on?” Steve asked the guard confusedly.

“I believe the term is ‘staging a coup.’” She said with a grin, as she pierced the prince’s throat with the very tip of her sword. “I heard your speech about ‘love making a great leader, love for the wellbeing of those less powerful than yourself.’ Steve, do you know how rare it is to hear someone in power want what is in the best for those less powerful than themselves? I have been guarding this family since I was a youngster myself. I have given my life and my dreams of a family of my own to look after people who wouldn’t blink if I gave my life for them. I am treated as though I am invisible and expendable, and given no thanks for what I do. My life holds no value other than what I provide in service. I have heard things over the years that made me question my place in the world and how I could possibly change the war that was coming. A war that would make the people’s lives a misery whilst bettering those at the top. When I heard your speech, it was the first time I had felt hope in years. Hope is hard to quench once a spark has taken hold.”

“You inspire people, Stevie. The guards outside changed sides when they realised who I was and that I had come to rescue you. They changed sides, because they hope that if they have someone who truly cares leading them their lives will have the opportunity to finally change for the better.” Eddie said from the bed. “Now be a doll and help me up.” Steve moved to the bed and slung Eddie’s arm over his shoulder pulling him up, taking his weight as he lent on him heavily.

“I’ve never led anyone before; I have no idea how to be king. I want to do it well and make a difference to ordinary people’s lives. What if I get it wrong? What if I make their lives worse?” Steve worried as they came to the door.

“The fact that you’re worried about it means you’re already a million times better than that dickhead ever was.” Eddie spat venomously at Prince Thomas. The prince must have sensed an impending power shift because he suddenly lunged at Steve and Eddie, drawing his sword as he shoved himself towards them.

“To the death!” Prince Thomas yelled. Steve and the guard crossed their swords in front of him.

“No!” Shouted the guard loudly. “To the pain!” The prince, Eddie, and Steve turned to look at the diminutive woman curiously.

“I don’t believe I’ve ever come across that term before, erm….” Eddie began.

“Joyce. My name is Joyce. I’ll explain and I’ll keep it simple so that, this turd, understands.” She gave the prince a look of disgust.

“That’s the first time a person has ever dared insult me.” The prince said sounding stunned.

“Hardly, they insult you in taverns up and down the country on a nightly basis.” Steve told him pleasantly as the prince spluttered.

“I’m sure it won’t be the last once the people get through with you.” Joyce told him sweetly. “’To the pain’ means that the first thing you lose will be your feet, below your ankles. Then your hands, at the wrists. Next your nose…”

“Then my tongue, I suppose.” He turned from Joyce to glare at Eddie, a look of accusation in his eyes. “I killed you too quickly last time, a mistake I shall learn from in the future.” He told him venomously. Joyce rested her sword against the prince’s cheek and forced him to turn and face her again.

“I wasn’t finished!” She barked. “The next, you will lose your right eye followed by your left.”

“And then my ears, I get it, I understand.” The prince drawled as he rolled his eyes.

“Wrong!” She spat, finally losing patience with the prince. “Your ears you keep, and I’ll tell you why; so that every shriek of every child at seeing your hideousness, will be yours to cherish. Every baby that weeps at your approach, every person who cries out, ‘dear god, what is that thing!’ will echo in your perfect ears.” She told him as the prince blanched at her words.

“Y-your bluffing!” He stuttered.

“You wish I was.” She told him. “The guards and I spent quite a long time deciding your fate, we needed something that would make sure any ruler who thought about treating the people as you have would think twice as they thought about your punishment.”

“Oh, I like her. Can we keep her as your personal bodyguard once you’re ruler, Stevie?” Eddie asked enthusiastically. Steve grinned back at him.

“She seems like the perfect person for the job. We’ll help you get him to the cells. Now give me that!” Steve told the prince, pressing the point of his sword to the prince’s chest until he let go of his sword with a clatter. Joyce toed it with her foot, making it jump from the floor into her hand. She handed it to Eddie with a flourish as Steve had Eddie’s sword. The four of them moved down the corridor flanking the captured prince. They passed through procession of hallways and rooms at a slow pace, so that Eddie could keep up.

As they entered the great hall he heard El shriek “NO!” and a sickening exclamation from Robin as a dagger embedded itself into her stomach.

The count rose from the ground, his limbs straining, it looked like he was being pulled apart by an invisible force.

“El stop!” Eddie shouted, his arms still firmly over Steve’s shoulder’s. He knew how important killing the count was for Robin. Judging where the dagger was protruding from, she should make a full recovery, if they could get that miracle girl to the castle to treat her. It just looked messy now and she’d be in a hell of a lot of pain. El slowly let the count down, but she didn’t let him go.

There were a number of other guards around them. He heard Steve ask Joyce to get her colleagues and take the prince down to the dungeon to await his fate. Robin was leaning against a pillar, a sweaty pallor had come over her. She pulled the dagger out of her abdomen and let it clatter to the ground.

“Hello, my name is Robin Anne Buckley, you killed my mother, prepare to die.” She whispered with gritted teeth. She approached the count, who El had forced to his knees, clutching her stomach and dragging her sword. “El release him so I can kill him as my mother would wish.” The man stood. “Draw. Your. Sword.” Robin told him.

The man did as he was bid, perhaps sensing weakness. He lunged at her, but Robin blocked his blow easily.

“Hello, my name is Robin Anne Buckley, you killed my mother, prepare to die!” Her constant furious sword blows that he had to defend himself from forced him back until he came to a sudden halt, his back against the banqueting table. She stabbed him once in each shoulder as she cried, “Hello, my name is Robin Anne Buckley, you killed my mother, prepare to die!” She landed a blow to his hand causing him to drop his sword.

“Stop saying that!” He yelled in frustration.

“Offer me money.” She told him, cutting one his cheeks.

“Yes.” The count hissed in pain.

“Offer me power.” She cut the other one.

“Anything.”

“Anything?” Robin asked with a curious tilt of her head. For a moment Eddie thought she was considering his offer, but he should never have doubted her.

“Yes.” He confirmed, the light of hope briefly lit his eyes before she lunged.

“I want my mother back, you absolute fuck!” Robin’s sword stabbed him straight through the heart. The count dropped to the floor a gargle of blood erupted from his mouth as he collapsed, convulsing. Robin emotionlessly wiped her sword on the banqueting table’s runner. El ran to her, she looked like she was about to collapse to the floor herself. Eddie looked about him and spotted Joyce returning to the great hall. He beckoned her over.

“El, where does that miracle girl live? Tell Joyce where to find her so that we can get Buckley healed.” He looked to Joyce, “if you get there and back in an hour you’ll be handsomely rewarded.”

“Seeing the prince’s punishment meted out will be reward enough.” She told Eddie.

“Well, then how would you like to be the one to dish out the prince’s punishment?” He asked her.

“It would be my honour.” She hastily left they hall.

Steve brought Eddie over to the dais where Robin sat, her head wearily resting against the banqueting table. Steve gently helped him to sit down, where he sat next to him helping to prop him up with his head on Eddie’s shoulder.

“You alright there, Buckley?” Eddie asked.

“I would say I’ve never been better, but, eh…” She pulled her hands away from her bleeding stomach.

“Tis but a flesh wound.” Eddie smiled at her as El tore a piece of the pristine table runner off and pressed it to Robin’s stomach to stem the flow of blood. “Max will make quick work of you once she gets here.”

“You know, I’m considering giving up a life of piracy to be with this one here. How does becoming the sixth Dread Pirate Roberts sound, Buckley? I can show you the ropes if you like the sound of it.” Eddie told her with a grin. Steve smacked his shoulder.

“Fuck that, how does Captain of the Guard and Spy Master sound, you two?” Steve looked round Eddie at Robin and El. “We need you to help create this new world order. How about the Dread Pirate Robert retires for good and goes down in pirating legend. That way we can stay together.”

He put his hand out and the others placed their hands on top of his.

“Together!” They chorused.

Chapter Text

It was a month since the Prince Thomas’ punishment was meted out in the great square. Max made sure he had survived his injuries and once he was healed, he was taken out into the forest and left there to fend for himself.

The fledgling democracy was already dishing out the coffers swollen from successive wars to those who needed it most. A wealth cap had been introduced and anyone who had wealth or assets over that were forced to hand over their money to the crown so it could be used to help the welfare of the people as whole. They weren’t popular with the aristocracy, but they were cowed when Steve had given them front row seats to watch what happened to the prince. It was more than a thinly veiled threat, and it had worked.

Now the focus was a simple wedding between Steve and Eddie. Both men were dressed simply in linen shirts, Steve’s a primrose yellow, and Eddie’s black. Though his whole ensemble including his jerkin, trews and boots were also black. Whereas Steve’s jerkin and boots were brown, and his trews were a dark blue. They both carried bouquets of autumn blooms. The ceremony was a simple affair, the church decorated to mirror the autumn posies both men held. Instead of the long-winded vows that the bishop had used in the sham marriage the prince had forced on Steve, the pair stood before him and spoke their feelings into the universe witnessed by Joyce, Max, Lucas, Robin and El.

“Now, Steve please speak your truth to Eddie…” Bishop Bauman prompted, with a toothy grin.

“Eddie, I love you more than words could possibly describe. I have loved you every day, no matter the distance between us or the obstacles that stopped us being together. We were always going to find each other, one way or another. I truly believe that we were meant to be together in every lifetime. I promise to be there for you, supporting your dreams and savouring every moment we have together as it is exceptionally precious to me. I promise to go on loving you for all my days, for the highs and lows, the dull times and the memorable times. Our souls are entwined forever as one.” Steve’s voice broke as he gently slid a plain silver band on to Eddie’s ring finger. Eddie cuffed away a stray tear and cleared the emotion from his throat with a cough.

“Eddie, do you have something to tell Steve…” The bishop asked him.

"Our love is like a storybook story, but unlike a story my feelings for you are completely real. I am the luckiest man alive as I get to spend the rest of my life falling in love with every incarnation of you again and again, it will be my life's work to make sure you feel loved and cherished every day of our life together. I promise to treasure every day I have with you, as I know full well how easily it can be taken." Steve wiped away his tears of happiness as Eddie slipped a matching silver band on to his ring finger.

“I now pronounce you husbands. You may kiss your spouse!” Bauman cried joyfully. Their witnesses whooped and cheered as they reached for each other, showing the world how much they loved one another with a sweet and lingering kiss.

They left the church to attend their wedding celebration which was to take place with their people in the great square. It was bedecked in autumn leaves, flowers and berries, minstrels played jovial tunes in the corner, as people danced. Free food and drink flowed, as Eddie and Steve stepped out of the castle gates, El on one side, Robin on the other with Max, Lucas and Joyce bringing up the rear.

Their love for one another spread through the square like a wave, making all those who attended feel joyful. The freedom from fear and tyranny as much a mood enhancer as seeing two people so completely in love with one another.

The crowd surged forward demanding to see the pair kiss before the party could continue in earnest.

(Wayne snapped the book shut. “You don’t want to hear about that, it’s kissing again.” He told Dustin.

“You know, Wayne, I don’t mind so much…” Dustin told him shyly. Wayne smiled smugly and opened the book for the last time that day.)

Eddie cupped Steve’s cheek, as Steve entwined his fingers through Eddie’s curls, their lips brushed each other’s. Since the invention of the kiss, there have been five kisses that were rated the most passionate, the most pure. This kiss left them all behind.

The end.

(You know, Wayne, you could read that to me next time I’m sick.” Dustin suggested.

“As you wish.” Wayne told the teen with a twinkle in his eye. He stood and stretched. The sound of the front door shutting heralded Claudia’s return.

“Hi, boys, I’m home! How was your day, did you have fun?” She called. He and Dustin shared a smile before Wayne left the room to make Claudia dinner, she had been on her feet all day after all, and she deserved to be treated like a princess.)