Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Kirishima trudged his way to his form tutor, dramatically sighing into the abyss. It was the trillionth time he’d been told off for his dyed hair and piercings, which in his opinion was totally unfair! Half the kids had hair that looked like the lids off of highlighters. That lad he’d seen around school had more piercings than he did isos. So why was he the only one being told off?? It was BANG 💥 out of order mate.

So yeah, its no surprise he wasn’t the most excited to see Mr King. Poor guy always looked like he was on the verge of ending it. Kirishima slipped his hand into his jacket pocket, pulled out his airpods to play some tunes. He decided to listen to Black and Tan by YT and Lancey Foux. Cold. He was so edgy and different.

🎵 Uh, said she want a date

So I took her on touuuurrrr 🎵

Kirishima snapped out of his daze, realising the song was over. Aggressively rubbing his eyes, he tried to listen to whatever Mr King was yapping about. He managed to pick up certain bits like continuous defiancy, threats of being manage moved, tutor 1-a, blah blah blah.

Wait…

Nah.

Did he just hear that right?

“Tutor 1-a.” Kirishima deadpanned. He couldn’t be serious. “You’re moving me to tutor 1-a?! Are you ‘avin a laugh—!”

“Right, Kirishima, that’s quite enough now.” Mr King interrupted, his voice low, but cutting through the air sharp. He swivelled his chair around in one swift move, and turned back to his computer. After acting like a total keyboard warrior, he looked back up, his wrinkles and frown lines terrifyingly more visible under the white lighting. Icl he should get some surgery done. In Turkey, preferably. Really wasn’t a nice sight. “You’ve had 12 isolations, and you’ve been sanctioned 7 times just because of your uniform alone. If you think you can continue to carry on like this without consequences, then you’re sorely mistaken.”

Personally, Kiri just wasn’t having it. “Yeah but it’s self expression innit? Cant man reform himself? It’s just not flipping fair, ain’t manly at all sir.” he huffed. Not to brag or anything, but Kiri was well known in these ends, so he better not chat shit unless he wants to get shanked up his bum. I mean, ignoring the fact that he lived in a gated community but that was besides the point. He hoped he’d intimidated Mr King enough. Leaning in, he stared at him dead in the eye for extra measure. Mr King grinned manically back in return. Man looked senile. That’s crazyy.

“Well life’s not fair, is it? Here’s the thing, one day you’re gonna have a job that pays shit cos you’re thick as a plank mate, no offence. You’re gonna wake up everyday wishing you didn’t live right opposite tesco. I wake up everyday wishing i was living in Las Vegas, but we don’t get everything we want in life, do we? But i still follow the rules, yeah? I still have to pay my taxes, don’t I? I still have to come in everyday and work in this absolutely sodding shitehole. You really think i have it in me to give two shits about ‘self expression’? The answers a big fat no. So i’ll tell ya what son, if you don’t get out me fucking face right now i’m gonna bang ya head in.”

Kiri chose not to question him after that. Aint no way he was tryna break his nonchalant streak. So, Tutor 1-A, huh? He’d heard the stories about them lot, and let’s just say they weren’t nice. Sort of like an urban legend around here. It’s basically just a dumping ground for mentally unstable kids on the spectrum. Ngl, he was scared shitless. At this point, Kiri would’ve rather been moved to tutor 3-E, with that lanky teacher who looked like he had jaundice.

“Oi Kiri!” yelled a familiar voice. Kirishima whipped his head around to find one of his mates, Denki. He was cool. Pretty sure he never got his pen license in year 6 though.  Overall, he was abit sped, but a proper solid guy. “Whatcha doing out here for?”

“Yo denks,” he waved back and the blonde smiled wide. They dabbed each other up. “You’re not gonna believe this.”

…..

“So you’re really moving to my tutor?! Aww get in!”

“l can’t lie yeah, it makes me wanna hang myself.”

“That’s mad. Anyways-“ well he sure moved on quick, nothing going on in that little head of his. The two fell into easy conversation.

“Ugh foundation maths is so flipping hard bruv. “Like, counting the days in the week? They must think i’m pythagoras or something! Just put the fries in bag, like seriously.”

He blinked at Denki. “Innittt…” he agreed unsure, trailing off. Was tutor 1-a just another name for bottom set?

After a few more minutes of Denki talking his ear off, they’d finally reached the door of the classroom. Kirishima suddenly broke out into a cold sweat like an anime character. That convo he was having with Denki was REALLY making him have last minute regrets. But it was either this or getting slimed out by Mr King…so he lowkey just accepted his fate. I mean, it couldn’t be that bad, right?

Chapter Text

First impressions? Well…

Lets just say that the people he’d seen when he walked past that door made him want to shoot himself in the fucking forehead.

On a side note though, Kirishima was glad he didn’t have to duck his head to go through the door anymore. Ever since that one year 7 called his trim dead, he hadn’t been the same emotionally and physically. Best believe he lost the hair gel the same week.

Denki led him towards a table that looked like it was being held together by one leg and a dream. There sat a lanky homeless looking stoner and a lesbian goth train wreck. Pure class, that.

“Kiri, this is Sero and Jirou! I’ve mentioned them before, right?” he hadn’t. “Guys, this is Kirishima! I’ve mentioned him before, right? His address is-“

“Ok stop you’re gonna get me doxxed.”

“YES KING~”

He chinned the bloke right then and there.

Sero squinted his eyes in concentration. “I don’t remember Denks ever mentioning you...” Good. He really hoped he hadn’t. Slowly though, his expression morphed into one of recognition. Oh dearie me. “You’re the one who had really shit hair in year 10, right?” he said, snapping his fingers in realisation. Kirishima could’ve sworn he felt himself die a little on the inside. He had no choice left now, he needed to air the whole school out. Before he could pull is glock out though, Jirou let out a loud, boisterous laugh.

“That’s DARK-” and then she abruptly started coughing out smoke. Or ashes? He couldn’t really tell. Whilst Sero was patting her back with the force of a seasoned mma fighter, Kirishima took a moment to look around the class. He couldn’t name half of them, but he did recognise a few.

Todoroki Shouto. Fittest guy in school, all the girls thought he was leng. Has no bitmoji on snap to seem mysterious typa guy. His eyes went to the shorter guy next to him.

Midoriya Izuku, his best mate, and bit of a neek really. And for some reason, the person todoroki kept staring at longingly. Yearnoroko Shouto. Kirishima felt his gaydar go off like a tornado alarm.

Mina Ashido, his past talking stage in year 9. They were friends currently, so it was cool and all, but apparently she was into girls now. He wasn’t homophobic or anything, don’t get him wrong. Liking girls was peak! It just wasn’t expected you know? God forbid he was her gay awakening.

There was a bunch of others he recognised by face, but at that point he couldn’t be asked to dig in his memory to name them. But then he saw him in all his glory: Bakugo Katsuki, the schools number 1 crashout. Been in more fights than that emo had piercings. Scrap master 3000 they called him. Proper mad. Pretty sure his mum rode the ghost of the goon too. He sat there in the middle of the classroom manspreading. And aurafarming. He was so freaking tuff.

Denki, (who had regained consciousness) followed Kirishimas gaze, and dramatically gasped. “BAKUHOE COME OVER HERE BABES!!!” Denki squawked. The menacing energy surrounding him vanished immediately, and was replaced with a flushed looking Bakugo. His eyebrows were furrowed, and his cheeks were tinted pink. He looked like an angry chihuahua. Not gonna lie, he thought it was kinda cute…wait what.

“SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU TWAT.” Bakugo barked back, but he trudged over anyway. For some reason, Kirishima felt obligated to stand up and give this respectable young lad a handshake.

“Hey man, I’m kirishima nice to meet you!” he cheerfully exclaimed, as Bakugo approached the table. He stood up and held out his hand, just to find himself looking down at him. He was surprisingly short for someone who looked so intimidating when he was locked in. Bakugo stared at his hand like he was trying to obliterate it with mind control for a good 5 seconds, and then went and sat in Kirishimas chair.

Jirou let out a poorly stifled giggle.

“L rizz bro.” Denki supplied unhelpfully.

After that disastrous attempt of…whatever he was trying to do. Kirishima took the walk of shame and grabbed 2 chairs to flex his alpha strength to specifically one ash blonde person. When he came back, all he got was confused stares from the table. But wait! Why was he trying so hard to impress Bakugo anyway? Did he perhaps…like him?? WAIT. No. Maybe it was simple admiration. Because boys couldn’t love boys. Boys can’t love boys. Boys *sniffs and sobs* can’t love boys!! Oh god. Now he was quoting lines from doomed yuri media. It’s so over.

Kirishimas spiral of thought was interrupted by a loud slam of an opening door. A teacher who looked to be in his late thirties walked into the room and begrudgingly sat down. His black hair was ratty, and his eye bags were deeper than shigarakis whole backstory. He looked like the sort of guy to use instant coffee and cigarettes as his life support. His name tag read ‘S.Aizawa’.

“Alright everyone settle down.“ he said, barely raising his voice. His eyes quickly scanned the whole classroom. “I need to do the register.”

“Erm, actually-“

Kirishima snapped his head towards the nasally source of noise, just to find a purple noncey looking guy who looked like he belonged in year 3 sitting down on the floor. His hair looked liked ball sacks. Absolutely tragic, it was. To summarise his appearance, he looked like the walking definition of huzz repellent.

“Actually i can’t sir i have uncomfortable chair syndrome!” the room went dead silent.

“Aha that was soooo jokes.” Sero deadpanned.

“I’m not even being funny its a real condition!!”

“Yeah mate and you’re Jimmy Saville…actually never mind. The comparison isn’t that off.”

As they continued their bickering Aizawa heavily sighed with the energy of a retired war veteran. He looked absolutely done with life. “Stop with the dramatics Mineta, and just go sit down or you’ll get a detention after school. I give up with doing attendance. I’m gonna take a nap…”

Kirishima watched this as the man pulled out a sleeping bag and tucked himself snug in it. He was out cold in seconds, and he continued to stare at the sleeping figure unphased. Honestly at this point, someone could strip and start twerking on the table butt booty naked and he wouldn’t even blink an eye.

“I bet he was sitting on the ground cos his feet can’t touch the floor when he’s on a chair.” Denki whispered, getting a small nod in agreement from Jirou.

Suddenly, Mineta appeared out of nowhere, and plopped himself on the chair. The chair that Kirishima had gotten. If looks could kill, he would’ve already been a goner from the death glare Bakugo was giving him.

“Let’s start by asking the real questions here!” Oh boy. He really didn’t have a good feeling about this. “Which girl do you think has the best tits in the class?” Mineta smirked, and the whole table stared at him in disbelief. Um okay…what happened to hi? Hello? How are you?

“The hell?” Bakugo growled. “Fuck off, you nonce. I’m not answering that. I’m not staying for this shit either.” and then he got up and walked off towards Midoriyas table. There’s goes my babyyyyyyyy, the song played as Bakugos youtube outro music.

“You do realise right i’m here, don’t you? That I’m also a girl?” Jirou deadpanned.

“Yeah but you’re flat so you don’t count!” Mineta joyfully answered. What kind of fuckass logic was that. Did he think they’d actually agree?

“Somebody hold me back right now.” she cackled, but there was no humour in it

“Jirou, wait-“

“SOMEONE BETTER HOLD ME BACK BEFORE I-“

Kirishima grabbed Jirou by the arm, yanking her back before she could swiss cheese his ahh. Mineta looked shaken up to the core, but no one really gave a flip.

Unfortunately though, with Jirou being held back, he took this as a sign to continue.

“Dude can you just find somewhere else to sit?”

“For real like nobody even rates you-“

“Yeah yeah whatever. Me personally, I think it’s Momo.”

Kirishima caught Jirous fist clenching under the table in the corner of his eye, and looked back up at her face. Her expression was 10x livid than before, and carried the kind of unbridled rage that looked like it was seconds away from exploding.

Mineta didn’t seem to notice, and carried on with his dumb fuck analogy, so he took advantage of that and decided to speak up.

“You guys just need to get a proper look-“

“Hey.” Kirishima interrupted, with a smile on his face that didn’t quite reach his eyes. “Look, i don’t know who that girl is, but I kindly suggest you stop talking about her like a creep if you know what’s best for you. You get me?” Billy badass over here.

Mineta made a sound that sounded like something in between a snort and a scoff. “I don’t see why I should listen to you newbie.” Ok dork. “Anyways-“

Jirou looked like she was about to cause a riot, but then a stern deep voice disrupted the bubbling tension.

“Mineta, that’s quite enough now.” a tall student with navy blue hair and glasses interrupted. “Please, return to your designated seat immediately.” 

“Iida!? We don’t even have a seating a plan!”

“We do now, specifically for you only. It’s right at the front, infront of Mr Aizawas desk away from everyone.”

“What- No! I REFUSE-“ Iida then proceeded to pick him up by his collar, and carried him to his seat while he tried to scream and kick in dramatic protest. “Wait don’t kill me i’m newgen IM NEWGEN!!!!”

“Omg my man saved the day guys!” Sero gushed like a shoujo protag.

“…that specky over there?” Kirishima asked with uncertainty.

“Yeah, so?”

“Oh nothing! It’s just…he looks hella straight.”

“That’s what I said!!” Denki exclaimed. “He literally looks like the token straight guy of the friend group.”

“Ahem.” Iida cleared his throat behind them, everyone’s attention turning to him. “I’m sorry you all had to deal with him, and welcome to tutor 1-A Kirishima.”

“Oh? Thanks!” Kirishima had never gotten such a formal welcome to a tutor out of all things…but he guessed there was a first for everything.

“Heyyyy Iida,” Sero said, purposefully dragging his words out. A lazy smile was plastered across his face.

“Hello Sero.” Iida replied robotically, pointedly avoiding eye contact. Almost as if he was being shy. Hmmm. “I see you’re…sober. For once.”

“Yeah my plug died,” why’s he talking about his plug like they’re a pet goldfish? “And i’m finally sober on a day where Jirou isn’t!”

Kirishima spun around to look at Jirou. She wasn’t even sober? Well, that explained her coughing out smoke. This felt like the top 10 anime betrayals. They made eye contact, and she flicked out a lazy peace sign. “Sorry dude.”

So…the overall first day experience? He would have to rate it a solid 7/10. Three points abducted for scaring the huzz away.

Chapter Text

It was Tuesday, 2nd period chemistry, 30 degrees outside, and Jirou wanted to go home asap. She was bare vexxed man. The heat was already air frying her brain, and they were on the third floor RIGHT next to the sun for goodness sake. She was sweating like necrophiliac at a graveyard. And just her luck, she had Ectoplasm out of all people teaching her. The same bloke who gave someone an ungraded in their mocks because they supported Southampton F.C. Which fair, Southampton was shit anyways, but you get the point.

And here he was at this very moment glazing Cole Palmer like there was no tomorrow to his imaginary audience. All you had to do was mention Chelsea and he’d immediately forget about his j*b. Bored out of her mind, Jirou subtly took out the airpods in her ears, and decided to eavesdrop the conversation next to her for a tad bit of entertainment.

“Uraraka what spray are you wearing? It smells well nice.” Tsuyu complimented.

“Thanks babes! It’s pure seduction from victoria secret xx.”

“Now how’d you afford that?” Oh nah.

“I ‘borrowed’ it, duh.” she playfully rolled her eyes and giggled. Jirou, her personally, would NEVER be caught taking that level of disrespect. She’d have to scrap them right then and there. Actually, she was so tempted to beat the shit out of Tsuyu on Urarakas behalf because that was just crazy. WAIT. No. She nearly got in a fight with Mineta yesterday…she had to hold herself back. Turning her neck like rusty gear, Jirou looked left because this ain’t right.

Sitting next to her was the fake idgafer Bakugo and the gayfailure Kirishima.

“I used to run these ends, you know? Since I was a yute,” Kirishima chirped, which she seriously doubted. She’d only met him yesterday, but from first impressions up until now he was sweet as marshmallows.

“That’s just called playing in the park you gimp.” Bakugo replied, unimpressed.

“Nah trust i’ve been legging it from the feds since i was 7 years old. Mums life!!!” Yeah mate, and my nans been on east enders. People will listen to central cee freestyles and start acting like they’re on badness.

Bakugo scoffed and pulled his phone out under the table, and started typing something. Then he showed it to Kirishima. “Well r.i.p to your mum then mate. On snap maps it says you live in that nice neighbourhood where all the rich people live. Didn’t you used to live in surrey as well?”

That shut Kirifraud up for a good 30 seconds, and he slumped back in defeat. But then, Bakugo said something that made Jirou pale. “…But nice guys aren’t so bad, I guess.” he said quietly, almost a whisper, but Kirishima and (unfortunately) Jirou had caught it.

Kirishimas eyes slightly widened, and his ears were painted crimson in a matter of seconds. “Oh swear?”

“Swear man…I like good boys.”

Um. So she usually skipped this part.

“Y-you what?!-“

“You heard me. So you tryna do something strange for a piece of change?” he purred in a low, seductive tone.

He better quiet his voice down before Uraraka hears the word “change”.

Kirishima looked over Bakugos shoulder to stare at Jirou in pure horror, confusion and arousal. Jirou glared daggers back at him.

“You’ve lost the whole plot,” she muttered under her breath. Aint no way she was dealing with their shenanigans today. The levels of greed in the facility were absolutely insatiable.

“SHUSH YER MUSH YOU LOT,” Woah. “Ok everyone get into pairs for the practical!” Ectoplasm called out. Usually Jirou would be working with Bakugo but he seemed rather…occupied. She was certain those two were gonna work together, but who was she going to work with? Jirou considered asking to work in a three with Uraraka and Tsuyu (who looked slightly mad at eachother at that moment— Uraraka must’ve caught onto Tsuyus sneak diss) but then, a hand tapped her lightly on the shoulder from behind.

There stood her glorious, extravagant queen Momo. Gulp. “Do you want to work with me, Jirou?” she smiled, and flowers just seemed to bloom around her. “Hakagure got moved up a set, so i don’t have anyone to work with,” this was the very moment that Jirou considered devoting her life to God. Working with Momo the whole entire year was a wet dream come true!

“Oh- yeah sure!” Jirou gave her a small smile, trying not to grin like a total maniac in the process.

“Ok, we’re redoing the chromatography experiment from year 10, because all of you were shit last year. One person from your pair go grab aprons and goggles.”

Some npc nervously raised their hand and said: “But sir, we’re only drawing dots on a piece of paper-“

“What club do you support?”

“Uh…sorry. what was that?”

“I asked what football team you support mate, am i speaking spanish?”

“Arsenal, sir.”

Ectoplasms eyeballs bulged out of his sockets so hard that he could’ve easily beat the world record. He slammed his fist on the table in a fit of pure rage, and he pointed towards the door. “Fuck out of my classroom you TWAT. Matter of fact, jump out the window while you’re at it. End it all.”

The kid walked out the room with his head hung comically low, as Ectoplasm continued to scream atrocities. Once he was out door, the class could hear his poorly contained wet sniffles and sobs.

Moving on.

“Whoever completes this practical first will get 3 achievement points and a kitkat.”

Jirou and Momo give each other one determine look, burning with the passion of an army of one hundred horses.

“We gotta lock in styll.”

“Yeah.”

“Should i get the aprons and goggles out and you get the equipment?”

“Yeah.” Why was she being so dry oml.

Jirou filled the beaker with water as Momo was drawing the three dots on the paper. She dipped the paper into the water, and all they had to do now was wait.

They were both quiet, neither of them knowing what to say.

Jirou decided to ask the question that had been living rent free in her head lately.

“Sooooo…what’s going on with you and Todoroki?”

Momo flinched, and shuddered with disgust, clearly caught off guard by the question. “Are you trying to insinuate there’s something going on between me and him?”

“Oh- no. No way! It’s just that I heard you guys used to date in year 9, and you guys seem pretty close now…” Jirou trailed off as Momo nodded in understanding.

“Ah so that’s it! Well me and Todoroki are close friends since our fathers are business partners,” these rich kids seriously need to quiet down when Urarakas in the room omg “And with Todoroki I rather forget about that phase.” she finished off laughing awkwardly.

“Plus, Todoroki likes someone else.” Jirous jaw dropped like a pez dispenser.

“Who??”

“That’s confidential.”

“Come onnnn, Tell me? Please?” Jirou begged.

“Ok find i’ll give you a hint, it’s someone he’s really close to in school.”

Jirou gave it a thought, and then it struck her. Wait, wouldn’t that mean he was gay? Ew. She hated those british word for cigarettes. She used her hands to cover a whisper, “Is it Midor-“

Ectoplasm zeroed in on them and stare at her like a hawk “ GIRLS STOP GOSSIPING AND SYBAU.” so they did what they were told and shut the fuck up. For 5 seconds

“Ugh hes such a beg.” Momo complained.

“Innit…don’t you think he’s kinda fit though?” oh my god what was she saying that was so bait retreat RETREAT.

“Say what-“

“Ectoplasm…he makes me ectogasm.”

Momo stared blankly at Jirous for a few seconds. She thought she sold, but then the corners of Momos mouth twitched with amusement, and she burst into a fit of giggles, Jirou joining her laughter soon after.

“You’re kinda funny yuno!” Momo chuckled, wiping a stray tear from her eye.

Jirou did what she always did, admired Momo from either up close or afar. She took in her delicate features, outlining the curve of her nose, her long lashes, and her gorgeous smile. A million pound winning smile that cost a hundred happy meals at maccies.

“Is there something on my face? You’ve been staring for a while.” She flicked her eyes back up to Momos, who was looking puzzled by the situation. Caught in 4k, Jirou looked away, embarrassed. The box of scissors in the middle of the room was suddenly looking rather enticing.

“Nah i just zoned out.”

“Well if you say so…”

The atmosphere grew 10x more awkward than it had been before. Momo was twirling her hair around her fingers mindlessly, as Jirou was trying to play geometry dash on her calculator. As useless lesbians do. The air around them was so quiet you hear a cricket doing an interpretive dance. Until:

“SIR WE’VE FINISHED!!!!!!!!!!” Uraraka screeched from across the class.

That broke the tension. “You’re taking the piss,” Jirou groaned. “I really wanted that kit kat!”

“We can share mine if you want? I have one in my bag.”

“Really? You sure?”

“Yeah! Once we’re out the classroom though, i don’t want sir to give me a det.”

“Thank you so much! I promise i’ll repay you, do you want me to buy something from the canteen?”

“No it’s fine,” Jirou forgot she was filthy rich.

“Oh look, ours is done too!”

Jirou looked down at their shitty experiment. “Oh yeah.” she said with all enthusiasm she could muster up.

“Im not really sure why the middle one didn’t work though. Look the colours are so pretty!”

“Mhm…” Jirou hummed in agreement. The first dot bled an orangey red colour, and the third dot bled magenta. Wait. Something clocked in her head. Jirou took the paper out of the water, and turned it horizontally, spilling water droplets on the table.

“Jirou!” Momo playfully scolded with a smile. “I’ll go get us some paper towels.”

“Okay, sorry!” Jirou replied. She brought her attention back to the paper. She wasn’t tripping after all, the colours on the paper looked an awful lot like the lesbian flag. Was this subtle foreshadowing from the universe? Were the Gods really on her side? Nah. Momo was definitely str**ght.

“Back.” Momo returned, and glanced at what was captivating Jirous attention.

“Oh it’s my flag!”

Say whaaaaaaaaaat???

Chapter Text

It was the last week of half-term in Yuuei, and school was going as well as it usually does. Glue sticks being stuck to broken tiles on the ceiling, the corridors reeking of so…? spray and 3 day old paninis, and washed uk drill resonating through the hallways through someone’s jbl speaker. Basically the usual. These lads weren’t on EsDeeKid and fakemink yet 🤫🤫. Anyways, the year 11s were slowly growing more stressed over their mocks. Okay I lied. Like 20% of the student population cared. You wanna know who really didn’t give two shits though?

Sero had been going with the flow all these years. Homework? Simply didn’t do it. Tests? Didn’t bother revising. First two months of year 11 he’d been moving like prime tommy innit on minecraft mate. His entire secondary school life was summed up to turning off computers in computer science, selling vapes on snap and trying to buy danny gs xbox controller on ebay. He’d say his life was pretty swell, if he ignored the deep hollow feeling he felt in his core that had been building up since year 9. His blueberry vape helped with that though! It reminded him of his man (who didn’t know he was his man) Tenya <3.

“You’re gonna eat now? Won’t sir tell you off?”

“Couldnt care less if he does to be honest, I’m well hungry”, Sero replied while not so subtly opening a bag of crisps.

Fast forward, he was stuck in english with a sub, and happily munching on a pack of wotsits that he’d nicked from the corner shop. He’d usually skip, but his attendance was low recently, and he wanted to go prom so he had to suck it up. You’d think people would be revising since they had a test the next week but no. Majority of his class were full of bums including himself. Tragic, I know. But he was on a table of people who kinda DID care so, they were on the topic of colleges and A levels. Proper neeky stuff. Just to clarify- the top 3 sixth forms in the area were Ketsubutsu, Shiketsu and UA. No, Yueii and UA weren’t the same thing. Besides, he didn’t wanna go there cos-

“Soooooo are you aiming to get into UA Sero?” Midoriya asked cheerfully from the opposite end of the table.

“UA?” he blinked. “Doesn’t like, an OF model work there or something?”

“A literal THERIAN is our headteacher mate I think we’ve got bigger things to worry about.” Kendo chimed in from Midoriyas left.

“Fairs.”

“So what A levels do you-“

“Oh! You mean Midnight-chan? >.<” Smartschoolboy9s successor (Mineta) interrupted. “I tried to subscribe to her only fans using my mummys credit card but she found out and took my phone away, so now I have to goon to Bonnie Blues tiktoks on my Samsung TV-“

“Oh my FLIPPIN DAYS BRUV SHUT UP”

“It costs zero pounds to keep this to yourself, by the way.”

“What’s this diddy blud on about…”

They were so glad to have Mineta sitting at their table!

Suddenly, Mina slammed the door open and barged into the classroom, but not before striking a pose like a super model.

“HEYYY BABES!~” she yodelled to her peers. They shyly waved back, used to her antics, but still felt inspired all the same. Scanning the classroom like a hawk, her eyes zeroed in on Seros table and she started strutting towards them in her lelli kellys.

Abruptly, she stopped in her tracks to glare at the nitty who has taken her spot.

“Um. What’s this prince andrew variant doing here, then?”

“I’m not-“

“DO YEW WANNA GO??”

“Let me speak-“

“FAWK NO.”

“WHYS IT ALWAYS ME!!” Mineta screamed as he collapsed onto the floor in despair.

Sero disencouragingly clapped him on the back, “Just a bit of banter mate, don’t get your knickers in a twist.”

“Yeah, so like. Could you go away now? Thanks.” Kendo deadpanned.

Mineta looked desperately at Midoriya for support. The latter turned to the side and whistled.

“It’s ok. I understand. She’s funnier. She’s skinnier. She’s prettier. Don’t worry. I wouldn’t choose me either.”

He then proceeded to naruto run out the room whilst the 90 year old supply teacher attempted to yell out his name.

“Ok so,” he turned back to Midoriya. “I’m not sure about the other two yet, but I want to pick ancient history.”

Sero enjoyed history. But he wasn’t like those yutes who had an odd obsession with nazi germany. Like mums life he wasn’t. He’d watched his fair share of youtube history documentary’s and they seemed interesting enough.

The thing was though, he sucked balls at history heart break emoji. In his defence, he had the worst exam board known to man and there was WAY too much content. Aint no way was he going to remember 4 different topics in detail, that was just bonkers. But still, he needed over a 5 in his gsces to do it for A level so he had to find a way to remember it all somehow.

“Ughhhh I need a tutor.” he groaned to his odd selection of friends. “You guys know anyone who’s willing to help me get my marks up?”

“Aw I’d help you Sero, but I’m already tutoring Shoto sorryyy!” guess who said this. You’ll NEVER be able to guess omgg

“Yeah and I’m lowkey too dumb to be teaching anyone so Momos tutoring me.” Kendo added.

“Me too, sorry.” Mina paused for a second, looking at the disappointment on Seros face. “Hmmm let me think…ooh I know! What about Iida?” she suggested with joys.

Wait that idea was PEAK. It was like killing two birds with one stone, he’d be learning the content AND he’d be talking to his crush!

“That’s like the best. idea. EVER mina!!!” Sero squealed, as all three people on the table stared at him with deep concern. He awkwardly coughed, “Sorry guys, got a bit too excited about my fine shyt for a sec.” Now they all they looked extremely alarmed.

“Are we deaduzz. You like Iida? Iida Tenya?” Kendo was bewildered as heck.

“Ya? He’s fit.”

“But he’s a twat.”

“Itsuka!” Mina gasped in mock horror, “Dont diss my man like that.”

“YOUR MAN?? SYFM MINA I’VE BEEN PLOTTING ON HIM SINCE YEAR EIGHT YK THIS!!!!!”

“Calm down babes xx he’s all yours trust…”

“D1 crashout much? No cos like, I was telling Monoma how I was gonna kill myself before maths because DUH?? It’s maths? Anyways, I’m assuming Iida overheard our conversation. The next thing I know I’m getting taken out of maths by the well being staff, and then they sit me down and ask me if everything’s alright at home. Like I do hate maths, yeah? But like obviously I don’t wanna fall behind. So I’m just sat there for 20 blood clart minutes trying to convince the teachers that I didn’t wanna off myself and UGHHH that whole interaction was just long.” Kendo finished her unneeded rant with Sero looking at her like an absolute dumbass.

“He’s so leng though”

Kendo stared at him in wonder. “Are you cooked in the head?”

“Ladies, Ladies settle down,” Midoriya, ever the mediator said. “I know Iida can be a bit of a snitch sometimes but really, he means well! The schools just nit picky about this stuff because apparently everyone’s visible declining will to live made the reviews of this school go down tenfold. Ofsted comes here every two days and thatswhyshesrightbehindyounowsero-”

Oh shit. Ofsted. Could the sun just explode already? Sero immediately locked in and straightened his posture, just how he was taught during his old primary school assemblies.

“AHEM.” Midoriya obnoxiously cleared his throat, “My dear acquaintances, which quotes best represent Scrooges miserly attitude in A Christmas Carol?”

“Erm…I.……I don’t play golf?”

Sero turned to his right just to see Mina trying to shove her whole fist in her mouth in order to stifle her laugh. Kendo didn’t even try to stop herself. Midoriya just looked at him like he’d threatened to shank him with a 28 inch long machete. As he was just about to retaliate, he caught the lady scribbling words frantically in her notebook through the corner of his eye. He watched as she hurriedly scurried off to the next table. The three lads turned to him immediately.

“Have you freaking lost your marbles??”

“Nah games gone…”

“Sero mate, if this school gets shut down it’s all your fault.”

“Damn I kinda don’t care.” said Sero, as he got up and sashayed away like Mackenzie from dork diaries. He’d made his judgment. Gcses were pure wank, and he was going to acquire his peng ting.