Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

It was a odd place to say the least. The gimmick was definitely unique. But the food was great, the employees seemed to actually like working there (somewhat) and it was hardly ever busy, likely due to the fact that absolutely no one in their right mind would look at the place and think "yeah that place looks legit lets try it out" luckily Evbo was the kind of person to see something so obscure and weird and decide he absolutely had to try it, dragging EMF and Seawatt along with him.

Seawatt was always more resigned to it. Being "far too important" for stupid sounding things like this, but Evbo and EMF both knew he secretly loved it.

Since the first time they drunkenly entered the building they decided it was the perfect place for their weekly meet ups. No amount of Seawatt complaining could get them to change it

The idea was simple. You walk in and a waiter asks you if you want beef or chicken. You bicker and argue amongst yourselves until you come to a unanimous decision, then you either sit in the chicken section (expertly signified by a small chicken statue to the right of you) or the beef section (shown by a small cow statue on the left of you)

You would think the menu would be quite plain for both sides, seemingly only having one option but it was actually quite extensive. They didn't even know you could cook chicken in so many different ways. It was actually kind of scary how someone had to think about all these recipes with so many different intricate sides and extras. But whatever they did they did it good.

"So." Evbo started.

"Are we going with chicken or beef today?"

Seawatt turned to Evbo with an annoyed gaze.

"Hey what- you told me we were going somewhere else today!?"

"I did. And I lied." He grinned, that stupid little grin, made Seawatt wanna just-

"you've got to understand Seawatt, nothing can beat Chicken or Beef." Evbo said as he balanced on the curb of the sidewalk, a couple cars drove by him and he jumped back onto the main bit of the path, bumping into Seawatt to annoy him.

"I hate you."

"As if anyone could hate me. Im faaar too amazing and cool for that, you should know, Seawatt."

"You say 'brotato chip' unironically."

"And?"

Seawatt groaned and pinched his nose, why he hung out with this guy he would never know.

They eventually arrived, the holy building glowing radiantly before their eyes.

"Oh by the way Seawatt its your turn to pay." He said before walking in, closing the door in Seawatts face on purpose.

"huh- what?!"

A waiter came up to them

"Do you guys have a reservation?"

EMF stepped forward, speaking over Evbo and Seawatt's bickering.

"Uh yeah it should be under 'Evbo'"

"surname?"

"Um..he would've put it as 'parkour'" EMF sighed, they could have had normal friends, but noo they decided on these idiots. The waiter gave them an amused look before typing it into the machine.

"Alright and would you like chicken or beef today?"

"Uhm-" EMF turned to ask Evbo but him and Seawatt were now in a contest of who could do the coolest jump, loser pays. Evbo was attempting a '720' to top his previous feat of a 360. He kept failing then insisting it was a practice.

"We'll just go with chicken."

they were friends with lunatics.

"Awh man. If you'd asked me I would've said beef." Evbo sighed looking at the menu.

"well I tried to. But you were too busy spinning around with Seawatt."

"uhm I was not 'spinning around' I was doing sophisticated arial turns. And i was absolutely killing it, unlike Seawatt who kept falling over."

"You were literally pushing me ove-" Evbo covered Seawatt's mouth with his hand.

"Oh weird, i swear i could hear a really annoying voice just then, must've been the wind."

The waiter started walking up to their table presumably to ask if they were ready to order yet, EMF just shook his head tiredly. The waiter gave a thumbs up and walked away.

"I awhay-always forget how much choice they have..did they add anything since we were last here-" Evbo said, finally looking at the menu

"It looks the same to me." Seawatt replied. 

"Yeah thats probably because you only ever look at one item." EMF turned to Seawatt

"Hey. I know what i like? Why change it?"

The waiter came back to ask about what drinks they wanted, Seawatt and EMF just agreed on water for the table. 

Meanwhile Evbo was flipping back and forth on the menu, mumbling to himself. Oh the chicken wrap looks good- but so does the chicken supreme..but thats more filling so i might not be able to have desert and we usually have that- but then theres also the chicken goujons but those are small i dont want to be hungry- maybe i could have those and the wrap. No that would be weird i cant do that- Seawatt's paying. I guess the chicken supreme would be pretty filling..wait didn't already say that? Anyway I dont even really want that anymore- but then again I dont really have a choice I dont know if I have food at home- also last time when i had the wrap i was still hungry after and-

"Evbo?"

Evbo looked up from the menu at Seawatt.

"huh?"

"You okay? You're mumbling to yourself again"

"Yeah im fine just deciding.."

"Okay."

Seawatt brought his hand to rest against Evbo's hair for a second to comfort Evbo. It was something he just subconsciously did. It made Evbo's stomach flip, he didn't know why. He wished Seawatt would stop doing it, it was annoying..feeling like that..

His thoughts, were however interrupted by the waiter coming to take their order.

"What can i get you guys?"

"I'll have the French Onion Chicken, please." Seawatt said in his "I came from a rich family, so I only eat things with fancy names" voice. Evbo cringed hearing it. It also annoyed him

"Alright.." She wrote it down in her notebook and turned to EMF. Evbo didn't like being last to order. It meant everyone heard what he was having, was it too much? What if he hadn't checked the price correctly and he was actually ordering something that cost 100 backwards 360's dollars?

"Chicken pasta bake"

"uh- please." He spat out before EMF could answer. calling more attention to himself than he would had he waited. There was only 2 of them anyway. Its not like they cared-

"Okay." The waiter said, clearly not putting even half as much thought into it as Evbo did. Why did Evbo think about this so much anyway? He never usually thought things through- well. Saying it like that sounds bad. But that wasn't the point.

"Um..chicken goujons please." EMF said, the waiter finished writing and walked off.

"So.." Seawatt said, glancing at Evbo who near-spiralling at this point and he didnt even know why, and now he was worrying about the fact he was almost spiralling because he had no reason to? Why was this happening now, he was fine a couple minutes ago.

"So.." Seawatt said, attempting to start conversation.

he looked at EMF started to speak again then immediately turned to Evbo and spoke to him. 

"how's that parkour 'championship' thing going, Ebvo?"

EMF was used to this. He always felt as if he were third wheeling, despite the fact that if he was to make a joke about Seawatt and Evbo even being remotely near romantic they would both immediately  start denying it like their life depended on it, then they would proceed to get offended at the fact the other was being so adamant about it. Which, honestly was how most of their conversations went.

"oh yeah- Im totally winning im like basically 1st place right now."

"Yesterday you told me you were 36th place. Out of 37 people." EMF interrupted

"uh yeah. But 36 is my lucky number so its totally a sign than im gonna win."

EMF sighed. He was actually surrounded by idiots.

"anyway. I seriously destroyed that person in 37th place. We were neck and neck and he was about to finish the course before me so I naturally decided to hit him with the Evbo special and won by 0.427 seconds."

"uhuh." EMF checked his watch

"How does the tournament work anyways?" Seawatt asked

"Ooh- so, basically. Theres 4 levels, parkour noob, pro, master and champion. Everyone starts as a parkour 'noob' and you have to place over half relative to the amount of people left in the tournament. If you place last the people running it take you away, and you're sent to 'parkour prison' as me and my new really cool friends call it. Anyway that keeps happening and the amount of people going out doubles until there is a final 6 and thats when you unlock the secret lev-" and Evbo kept yapping. at least it wasnt spiralling. and Seawatt always seemed to enjoy listening to Evbo speak..but you couldn't torture that information out of him.

"mhm.." Seawatt was looking straight at Evbo, who was way too into his description of the event to notice. But you know who did notice? EMF. And he was so prepared to bring it up to Seawatt at some point to get back at him for constantly ignoring him in favour of speaking to Evbo.

Eventually their food arrived. It looked great, like always.

Evbo was full. He had 'borrowed' a couple goujons from EMF, who didn't seem to care but was secretly crying inside because Evbo had taken the best ones. The waiter came to take their plates and offer them the desert menu. Evbo would've said no but who says no to desert?! And it all looked so good. Chicken or beef was one of the places that had photos of all the food on the menu's so that definitely didn't help his case. And also they regularly changed the desert menu, what if they changed it before they came back the next month?

Evbo felt sick halfway through, he really shouldnt have eaten those goujons.

"Im- gonna go to the bathroom"

He stood up and Seawatt got out of his seat to let him out of the booth, Evbo quickly made it into one of the stalls. He was in that limbo state of feeling like he was gonna throw up but not knowing if he was actually going to. Why did he have to eat so much? It was so stupid, he knew he was full but he kept ignoring it. He shouldn't of asked for some of EMF's goujons- he was so stupid for doing that, did he really have to self control?

His thoughts were interrupted by someone opening the door to the bathroom. He knew it probably wasn't EMF or Seawatt, he hadn't been gone long enough for one of them to check up on him but he still didn't exactly want some random dude in there while he was trying not to throw up. So he left the stall and washed his hands, he figured if he could just get home and he would be fine.

"I feew-feel sick" He told EMF and Seawatt, who was still finishing his "crème brûlées" (posh prick)

"Do you want to leave?" Seawatt asked..that was kinda new. Usually he would've just told Evbo some kind of "I told you so" or just anything that would spin it on Evbo.

"you're not done."

"I dont mind- it isnt very good anyway, my cook does it better." 

"Strike 556 reminding us you are rich." EMF mumbled, finishing off his pancakes

"Not now, EMF. Evbo clearly isnt doing well."

"Hold up. since when do you care-" Evbo was interrupted 

"Uhhhhh. Anyway, I'll send you the money for the bill later, E." (vine boom)

"huh- what hey-!" EMF groaned. 

But Seawatt was already dragging Evbo out

"I hope he gets found out for money laundering or something someday."

Seawatt called his personal cab over and they both got into the backseat, Evbo was leaning forward. Especially trying not to throw up now that he was in a fancy car.

Seawatt put his hand in Evbo's hair again. By now Evbo was feeling much worse and didn't really think about how he took it as an invitation to lean against Seawatt, though he would definitely cringe about it 1000 times after he felt better.

"Ev-uh wh- nevermind." Seawatt cleared his throat to avoid saying something stupid.

"ugh. I feel like im gonna throw up"

"Your house isn't too far."

Seawatt ran his hand through Evbo's hair subconsciously, Evbo tried to focus on that rather than his current issue..and also tried not to think about the implications of what this could mean. That spiral was for another day.

Probably.

Maybe it meant nothing.

Prooobably..

Chapter Text

They got to Evbo's house. It always had that faint woody smell to it. Unlike Evbo who usually smelt like floral shampoo. Though Seawatt couldn't really speak, he was basically a human perfume bottle.

"Thanks, Seawatt. I appreciate- hurgh..oh god i think im actwu-actually gonna throw up now-"

He quickly ran to his bathroom before being sick in the toilet. Seawatt was close behind, making sure he was okay. He put his hand in Evbo's hair once again, this time more deliberately, as if he was holding Evbo's hair up to make sure it didn't fall in front of his face while he was throwing up, despite Evbo's hair not being nearly long enough for that.

Evbo proceeded to be sick a total of 5 times before finally leaning against the wall and sighing.

Seawatt got a tissue for Evbo to wipe his face, sitting beside him.

"You know why you were so sick?" He asked, watching as evbo chucked the dirty tissue in the toilet.

"I ate too much. I-Im always doing it. It just feels like- like if i dont then im not gonna have food later- as if im suddenly gonna start starving or something."

Seawatt put his hand over Evbo's. Both of them deciding to act like it was not happening.

"Well..im here..for you, Evbo." It felt weird to say. It was true. It always had been, since the moment he and Evbo had become friends but it was odd to actually admit it, Seawatt wasn't really the kind to admit stuff like that. But it felt right, in this moment.

"Thanks."

"I think..I think its cos, as a kid i never really..yknow. I grew up skipping dinner and- eating like just enough to not starve..especially as I got older..younger siblings needed it more than me yknow? A-and now its just like every chance i get ive gotta eat because I feel like don't know when im gonna be able to next. Especially with good food- sorry.."

"Its fine, Evbo. I get it..I mean- I obviously never experienced that but..I can imagine."

"You don't want to. It was tough..but..i dunno. I got out of it. I think..without that old man id probably be..like- in prison for stealing or.."

There was a moment of silence.

"Man. I never even asked for his name.. I still beat myself up about that sometimes.."

"I wish I..I wish i helped more. I really took advantage of you back then, Evbo. I just saw anyone who was desperate as an easy way of getting my provlems sorted out..I mean, I almost made you break someone out of prison-"

Seawatt looked away.

"I still wonder how you forgave me for that."

"Because you changed, I guess. If im being honest..I could tell you didn't really want to be doing what you were doing. Working for that guy. You were just as lost as me."

"Hah. You've always cared too much about me, Evbo."

"Well, wether you like it or not, you did actually help me out of my situation as well. You made me see my own self worth..overtime."

"And I know EMF may still..have some doubts about you but..I..trust you."

Seawatt turned his head back round to Evbo. He gently gazed into his green eyes for a moment before looking away. Not wanting to make himself too obvious. It was too late of course, Evbo was already staring right back at him and Seawatt couldn't help but look once more.

"You might not like to hear it but..you are a good person, Sea. At heart. Even if you are rich and..capitalist." He joked at the last bit

"Please don't turn into an EMF 2." Seawatt laughed

"Well he does have a point."

"Well at least im not some old stingy miser- i payed for dinner."

"you literally didn't!" Evbo nudged Seawatt playfully

"I said I would pay EMF back, it's the same thing."

"No it isn't-" Evbo laughed

"It basically is."

"I will call a class revolution on you i swear-" he nudged Seawatt again

"Just shut up-" Seawatt pushed Evbo back

"Well make me."

Seawatt glanced away with a scoff.

"Nothing could make you shut up." He said

and Evbo kissed him. wow. Seawatt was shocked for a second and just wrapped his arms around Evbo knocking him onto the ground, his hand moving to gently touch his hair as Evbo's arms wrapped around the back of his neck. They kissed until they had to take a break for air, just staring at each other with slight shock before Seawatt nervously sat up looked away, his hand still in Evbo's hair.

They sat in silence for a moment. They were still in the bathroom. Not the most romantic situation..but probably not the worst place to be.

"ahem." Seawatt cleared his throat

"Well um-" he continued, not really sure of what to say.

"Y-yeah.." Evbo said, sitting up again..his fingers making their way to Seawatts hand who just took Evbo's hand entirely.

"You taste like sick."

"Yeah well maybe thats because I was just sick."

"Shut up."

"You shut up-" 

"Make me." Seawatt mocked 

"I dont think you could shut up." Evbo retorted.

"Mh."

Seawatt kissed Evbo again. His hand on Evbo's cheek as Evbo wrapped his arms around Seawatts waist.

"Go brush your teeth or something-" Seawatt said, breaking the kiss

"Oh whatever." Evbo replied, standing up and going upstairs to get his tooth brush 

About 3 minutes later, Evbo came back down, he still had a bit of toothpaste on the corner of his lips.

Seawatt who was now at the bottom of the stairs wiped it off before leaning in and kissing Evbo once more.

"I hate you by the way." Seawatt said

"Sure you do." Evbo replied

Chapter Text

Evbo woke up. He got out of bed, into his bedroom and started brushing his teeth.

He kissed Seawatt last night.

And...Seawatt kissed him..

surely thats not true- Right? I mean sure he would almost always talk to Evbo over anyone else, he would always touch Evbo's hair, he would always say yes to hanging out even though he complained the whole time and acted like he hated it. But that didnt mean anything!

"He must've been toootally drunk, yeah. That makes sense."

I mean sure, Chicken or Beef didn't sell any alcohol and there was literally no moment where he could have gotten any without Evbo seeing him but that definitely made the most sense.

Hold on- SEAWATT KISSED EVBO?!?

"ohmygodohmygodohmygod"

Evbo mumbled to himself suddenly pacing around his bathroom, head in his hands.

"Hooooly shit"

EMF

EMF

EMG

EMF

what.

EMF SEWATT KIVDED ME

Huh

kiaaed*

bro its literally 6am what are you talking about

jissed*

kisswd*

KISSED*

im going back to sleep

NO.

BRO IM FREAKING OUT YOUVE GOTTA GELP ME

"gelp"

SHUT HUOP

UP*

I DOTN KNOW WHAT TO DO

okay. Seawatt kissed you, so what?

WHAT DO YOU MEAN SO WHAT?? HE KISSED ME AND I DONT KNOW WHY COS THEN AFTER HE KISSED ME AGAIN AND I KISSED HIM AGAIN AND HE KISSED ME AGAIN OR SOMETHING

Evbo was usually very good at telling the story of what happened, his best friend was forced exposition; Today, however he very obviously could not.

well did you like it?

.

.

.

EMF HELP I KISSED SEAWATT AND I LIKED IT

yeah thats rly not a surprise bro. Im going back to sleep

WHAT DO YOY MEAN NOT A SUPRISE?????????????????

i wish to someday be as oblivious as you and seawatt, evbo. Goodnight.

NOOOO

EMF

EMF

EMF

PLEASE

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

HWHWJDJDJJSKWKDHFGLWLW

BLBLBLBLKRKFKGLGLHOHOJOLYLYPGLK

I WILL KEEP BLOWING UP YOUR PHONE UNTIL YOU ANSWER

You can no longer send or receive messages from this number 

DID YOU BLOCK ME???
message not sent

THUS IS NOT OVER

message not sent

"okay. So. He drove you home and you threw up. Then what?"

"he told me to shut up" Evbo said trying not to smile thinking about it.

"..right."

EMF rubbed his forehead

"and then he kissed you?"

"OH MY GOD EMF I KISSED HIM FIRST"

Evbo stood up and started pacing the living room (again)

"why'd i do that?"

"That was so stupid I dont like Seawatt, he's an asshole like 90..80..50% of the time and- and he..touches my hair, which I dont like because it makes me feel..weird- and-"

"Evbo." EMF stood up, holding Evbo by the shoulders to stop him.

"Seawatt likes you. You like Seawatt. You two never stop talking to each other. You never stop looking at each other. You fight like a married couple. Trust me I've had the displeasure of observing you two for like two whole years."

"Nahh thats dumb."

EMF groaned

"You literally contacted me from Pinterest for this. But- whatever. Just like- what happened after you guys kissed?"

"um..we kissed again? Duh"

... "Okay you can deal with this on your own."

EMF picked up his bag and started walking to the door.

"Nononono- EMF. I need your help. I'll stop being stupid I pwo-promise."

"Yeaaah thats kinda..not possible for you."

"look, im just really confused so im just like- disregarding anything that makes this complicated in any way."

EMF sighed and put his bag down. "okay. Lets work on that then."

They spoke for a while. EMF eventually getting Evbo to admit the full story.

Apparently Seawatt had gotten a call and went home, leaving Evbo to sit down and try his best to relive every second over and over again-

"Okay i messaged Seawatt, he's coming over."

"What?! Why would you ever do that?!"

"Bro. Obviously the solution is to just never speak to him again in my life ever-"

"Evbo, why are you being so irrational and panicky about this?"

"Im not being irrational or panicky about this!"

"you are literally jumping back and fourth over your coffee table."

EMF sighed

"look, dude. You were clearly okay in the moment, its just now that you're away from it all youre panicking and acting like you didn't know what you were doing. I guarantee you, when you talk to Seawatt it will all be fine."

Evbo mumbled amd groaned a bit before face planting onto the couch beside EMF

"You're riiight..I just..I don't know, he's so pretty.."

"In a..really ugly and stupid way, obviously....urghh its so stupid.."

"Uhuh. There there."

EMF gave Evbo two pats on the shoulder to calm him or something.

A couple minutes later there was a knock at the door and Evbo bolted towards it, apparently having forgotten entirely that he was too scared to talk to Seawatt.

"Hey"

Seawatt said, looking at Evbo before looking to the side..then quickly back at Evbo

"Hi."

Evbo replied stepping closer subconsciously

"Uuhm you have toothpaste on your face again by the way. You should probably wash that off"

"Do I-?" Evbo quickly wiped his face

"no..I just um.."

Seawatt grabbed Evbo's hand and put it down.

"wanted an excuse to uh.." he let go of the hand and held Evbo's face.

"but it..didnt really work.."

"You're stupid."

"I'm not the one who's been panicking so much EMF had to message someone to come over and calm me down."

"Shut up."

Evbo responded

"Go on."

Seawatt replied back.

Evbo did that ugly grin as he pulled Seawatt down into a kiss.

"I hate you."

he mumbled. Meanwhile, EMF went upstairs to avoid watching them and to steal some snacks from Evbo's "secret stash" he had, despite living alone and telling everyone about it hence making it very much, not secret.

Seawatt held Evbo closer, staring into his emerald eyes.

"so. You were worried about me?"

Seawatt said against Evbo's lips

"No- i was just worrying that this would mean i have to talk to you more often-"

Evbo replied, turning away from Seawatt, still grabbing his hands as to avoid moving completely away from him

"oh sure" Seawatt replied

"uhh yeah. Because I dont like you, like at all. You are reaaaally annoying."

"You're the annoying one bro"

"I am not."

"Okay buddy, sure."

Evbo looked deep into Seawatts eyes, stepping closer, being held by Seawatt. He was so stupid and ugly and cute and sweet.

"Why does it have to be you that i fall inexplicably in love with-" Seawatt mumbled as he looked away, the sight of Evbo for this long being too much to handle without going red.

Evbo almost choked on his own tongue

"hahhahahahahaha in love-with me haha that one-that ones funny hahahahaha"

"cos-cos uh you're joking..right?"

"Evbo- I kissed you of all people like seven times. Just yesterday. Someones gotta be like- crazy to wanna do that to you without being in Love."

"Eight.."

"What?"

"Eight times...I was counting"

Seawatt pulled him in again

"..wanna make it make it nine?"

"Mh- actually this would be ten..i was only counting yesterday"

"..just- shut up.."

Seawatt rolled his eyes "Mmh okay.."

EMF decided to come down, he'd left some of the snacks for Evbo, he didnt want to take all of it, he wasnt that mean..

"Hey guys you doing alri- neevermind."

He swiftly turned back up the stairs to finish the rest of the snacks for compensation of having to witness that. Maybe he might jump out a window after as well, just to be safe.

Evbo, now leaned up against the wall suddenly opened his eyes

"Wait what time is it-"

"7:46. Evbo immediately let go and ran to pick up his keys

"IlikecompletelyforgotbutIhaveaparkourcompetitioninlike10minutesandimgonnabelate"

He grabbed a water bottle from his kitchen and filled it up, giving Seawatt another quick kiss and running out the door

"Evbo wait- I'll take you. You drive like an old lady."

"I do not-!"

"You do, shut up."

He grabbed Evbo's wrist and dragged him to his car.

"You're gonna pay me back for the gas im wasting here by the way."

"Bro I didnt even want you to drive me-"

"Mh, tough luck. Where is the competition?"

"Hey-!"

"Ugh..go left at the next turn.."

They made it.

Evbo sat in the car with the door open for a second

"You owe me a kiss."

"Why"

"You told me to shut up, but you didnt follow through."

"We are not kissing every time we tell each other to shut up."

Evbo leaned over and did it anyway. He still got a rush every time.

"Whatever."

Seawatt mumbled, shaking his head as Evbo climbed out of the car

"Bye bye honeybunches!"

He shouted out of the window so that Evbo's friends would hear him.

"Seawatt!"

laughed as he drove off.

"Ooh la la~" His friends mocked

"Be quiet, Cookie." 

He was so gonna kill Seawatt later.