Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Their eyes pierced through Dusekkar’s back, cold and unforgiving.

Judging, watching, and critiquing.

Every move he made felt like someone was there, just behind the curtain, peering through the slightly ajar door, but he could never catch it. Maybe it was just too fast for him to catch. Maybe there was nothing there in the first place! Either way, he felt like he was going insane.

The room was dim, filled with random spellbooks that practically spilled out incantations and power when you opened them. Candles, jewelry, everything you’d expect from a capable wizard. (Minus a fun pointy hat.) Dusekkar was somehow convinced that secretive eyes may be hiding behind the shiny purple fabric thrown over a wooden desk beside him though.

Whether it was just him floating peacefully through the hallways, or maybe it was him lying in bed and struggling to fall asleep. There always seemed to be a gaze just out of Dusekkar’s sight. The constant feeling of being stalked was driving him mad. How could he bring himself to ask one of the other survivors though?

The Spectre had made their living situation bad enough, being caught in these terrible looping rounds of being killed over and over. They barely had enough time to catch their breath inbetween this looping torture. Much to The Spectre’s dismay, if they were forced into too many rounds in one interval, the survivors would just give up and accept their fate repeatedly. The only thing that had helped Dusekkar feel less insane was seeing and talking to the other survivors, yet he could never force himself to bring up the relentless paranoid feeling.

Dusekkar had a reputation to uphold, even in a place like this. He was a wise and powerful wizard— a wise and powerful wizard that The Spectre had to thoroughly disable in order to keep their sick entertainment steady. With this formidable power, none of the other survivors would expect him of all people to be scared of that feeling of being watched now and again… right?

He didn’t know. He wished he did. He so desperately wished that he knew if the survivors would make fun of him for being so afraid of something so simple.

It made sense in his mind that the other survivors would brush it off as just ‘Having a bad day’ or something. After all, why would the *powerful wizard* need their help? Even when he tried his best to speak his mind, his pride dried up the words before they could leave his mouth.

Dusekkar knew the other survivors would care, but the tense feelings of being watched along with the hit he would have to take to his ego if he told someone made the idea seem… Less than appealing.

He truly felt insane. What if he asked someone and was only met with a judgmental stare from someone he felt close to…? If he got the words out, what if they were nonsense?

The thoughts spiraled in his head as he paced around in circles in the dark room. He sat down on his bed with a small sigh, and cradled his own face in his hand in a feeble attempt to comfort himself from the relentless eyes.

With a sudden rush of vigor, he knew he had to do *something!* If he was going to be here in the sick purgatory that The Spectre called a game, he atleast wanted to not feel like a psychopath while he was there. With all the courage he had, he started planning to talk to a specific person. The flame inside of his strange blue Jack-o-lantern head grew slightly brighter in focus.

Dusekkar was never great at talking, Builderman had made sure he was aware of this. Living majority of his life in a quiet dreary cabin didn’t allow much room for social efforts. Though he’d sure as hell be giving it a try now. Even having been in solitary places for so much of his life, he couldn’t live like this.

He knew exactly who he wanted to talk to. Not being great at words himself, he’d talk to someone who didn’t even speak aloud. *Taph.*

He stood up from the edge of his bed where he was sitting and promptly adjusted his grey silky robes. Swiftly floating towards the slightly ajar door he could’ve sworn something was staring at him through, he made his way to the only place he thought Taph might be.

Dusekkar knew he had options on who he’d talk to, but his mind was set on the mute demolitionist. Guest-1337 was caring, sure! He even had a family he loved dearly, a man as strong and determined as Guest would surely look down upon Dusekkar’s agitating situation with shame.

There was also Two-time. Dusekkar… Would rather refrain from speaking with the manic cultist. The pathetic mockery of Dusekkar’s former power would only make him feel worse. He knew that Two-time had at some point had something tragic happen to them, Two-time got defensive every time someone would prod at the subject however. Dusekkar wished to be as far away from the weird Spawnist that would occasionally attempt to get the other survivors to join them.

Dusekkar exited the cabin, hovering his way over to the large, expansive library that The Spectre had failed to remove while deciding the range of where the survivors could go. As he opened the door, the scent of old books wafted into his face. Old books and the scent of a fireplace still burning.

Dusekkar had strictly ordered the other survivors to extinguish the bright flames of that fire before leaving the library, so he knew *someone* was there. He hoped it would be the strange and quiet demolitionist that he really wanted to talk to right now.

As he wandered through the seemingly endless rows of shelves stacked high with old and dusty books, the scent of the fire grew closer. He turned a familiar corner to see the one and only *Taph.*

Taph lay curled up in a warm velvet armchair near the fire. Dusekkar couldn’t quite make out what he was reading, but he knew Taph had good taste in books. Taph startled a bit looking up at the blue pumpkin guy peering around the edge of the bookshelf.

“Apologies, It was not my intent to spook you, Taph.”

Despite his quiet voice, the words echoed out into the huge library only to be met with a solemn nod from Taph, who closed his book and set it beside him. Taph turned his attention to Dusekkar, who was fidgeting nervously under Taph’s obscured gaze.

Taph waved softly at Dusekkar, swiftly recognizing the stressed expression on his face— just like it was when he was injured in a round.

Taph could tell something was up, he tilted his head. He assumed Dusekkar knew the bare minimum of sign language, if any at all. Taph motioned for dusekkar to sit on another velvet chair that was next to the one Taph himself was sitting at.

-"What's wrong?"-

Taph signed, hoping Dusekkar would get the memo. Dussekar blinked a few times, his mind falling back to the times in his past he had to communicate with Guest players. He recognized the movements just barely, silently hoping that he wouldn't screw this up by remembering wrong.

"Do you ever feel as if someone is constantly watching you?"

Taph looked down at his hands, his expression hidden far behind the shadows made by his hood. The small golden patterns around the edges glittered softly against the warm firelight.

Taph himself had a past filled with anxiety, being watched without him knowing brought back far too many memories Taph had pushed to the back of his mind. Knowing that there were limited people in this torturous realm the Spectre forsakened them to brought him a slight unfamiliar comfort.

-"Sometimes."-

Taph motioned vaguely, mind briefly caught on the life he had before he died. Constant threats from the public, the agoraphobic lifestyle he condemned himself to in order to keep from being stabbed with a pitchfork or something.

Dusekkar saw the simple signing of Taph's hands and quickly recognized how easy Taph was going on him. His pride took a small hit as he sat there unknowing of how Taph felt. It was rather difficult to understand Taph's body language without seeing his face after all.

Dusekkar sighed, trying to drag all the courage he could to tell Taph what was going on. He felt even worse about telling someone about this now that he was about to do it, how could he burden someone with his problems in a place like this.

Dusekkar steeled his nerves, and pushed back the guilty-scared feelings that made the dread of being watched much worse.

"I... As of recent, it has felt almost like something is watching me."

Dusekkar paused, breathing out the anxiety that crept both into his head and his vocal cords. His voice got a bit shaky, the whole thing seemed so humiliating and scary to tell someone about. Taph wouldn't assume Dusekkar was a madman or something, right?

"I can't lay still comfortably, even in the privacy of my room. I simply can't shake the feeling of eyes on me at all times."

Taph knew the feeling, constantly being watched? Something he related to heavily. He nodded sympathetically reaching over to pat Dusekkar's knee comfortingly.

Dusekkar relaxed slightly at the comfort, being a formidable wizard came with... Well, fear. Some of the other people in the Spectre's realm knew of Dusekkar's power and kept far away from him. Having someone who wasn't Shedletsky or Builderman comforting him like this felt... Nice.

-"I know what you mean."-

Dusekkar understood the signs easily— too easily. Something had changed. Taph's comfort, if only for a moment, took Dusekkar's mind off being watched. Something had changed in that time, and now he could easily understand Taph. What changed...?

Suddenly, Dusekkar felt even more stupid about the whole thing. He so badly wanted to stand up right then and there and walk out of the library. Yet, he couldn't.

Taph had been so overwhelmingly patient for Dusekkar to get over how childish the whole thing made him feel. So, no matter just how bad he felt.. he'd stay.

Taph continued, noting down how Dusekkar suddenly looked much more tense. He didn't point it out though. Taph's eyes darted around the room, his head swirling with all the anxious thoughts he had back before the Spectre stuck him here.

-"I'd recommend spending time with someone new if you're really having a problem. Just try to get your mind off of it, really."-

Dusekkar's mind flawlessly understood Taph's signs, which maybe confused him even more. Dusekkar nodded, swallowing the dread that seemed to linger constantly.

"Could I spend time with you?"

Taph shook his head, tapping his fingers on the closed book that was on his lap still. He was going to read it later. Taph was still pretty shy and antisocial, even in a place like this. He couldn't help it, people scared him sometimes. He wanted to spend time with Dusekkar, but he'd need more time before he was really ready to do that.

-"No..."-

Taph signed slowly, he didn't really want to elaborate more on it do Dusekkar. He knew Dusekkar wasn't the most social, but neither was he.

-"I'd recommend spending time with Two-Time or something. You never spend time with them unless we're in a round."-

Dusekkar sighed, the flame in his pumpkin ever so slightly diminishing at the thought of spending time with someone like Two-Time...

Taph was starting to feel like they'd been talking too long, the anxiety he was far too familiar with screaming for him to stop talking. Taph knew Dusekkar needed him right now, so that social anxiety that Taph had was pushed to the back of his brain.

-"If you want, we could try baking something later on. I saw some brownie mix in the kitchen while I was watching Elliot cook the pizza."-

Dusekkar's eyes lit up at the offer. (Literally..) Dusekkar nodded, trying to think of something to say at how kind Taph was being. Some of the scared feelings Dusekkar was practically bathing his mind in lifted at the thought of spending time with someone that had been so kind to him, so understanding.

"That would be pleasant."

Taph gave a thumbs up to Dusekkar, opening his book again so he could find his place where he was reading earlier.

-"Two-Time has been struggling with their garden from what I've seen. That's where you should be able to find them most often anyway."-

Dusekkar smiled happily, standing up slowly from the plush velvet chair. He didn't even mind that Taph had been dismissive, he understood how uncomfortable talking could be. He stretched out and started walking out of the dim library, once again navigating the familiar and tall dusty bookshelves.

He exited the library fully, floating his way back to his cabin. He felt much less anxious than he did before talking to Taph... For some reason.

He flopped down in the comforting familiar bed, the feeling of being watched almost comforting after that. *Almost*. He was going to talk to Taph tomorrow, hopefully he'd feel better about the whole talking to Two-Time thing.

Chapter Text

Dusekkar had decided to take Taph's advice, it was pretty helpful after all. He was planning to meet up with Two-time today.

Despite dreading the thought of listening to Two-time constantly jabbering in some way about loyalty to The Spawn, Dusekkar forced himself to suck it up and try to fix things, or at least get Two-time's input on how Dusekkar's situation. How could Two-time be so brainwashed into following this mockery of Dusekkar's magic?

Every attempt to convince the deranged cultist of how The Spawn shouldn't be engaged with seemed to be futile, Two-time was in far too deep.

Dusekkar tried to rationalize it, he knew little of Two-time's real past. Almost nobody knew about Two-time's past, it was part of the reason why they were so unnerving. That, and the fact they seemed to be constantly smiling, even when injured or upset.

Dusekkar exited the large wooden cabin, only now really noticing the large planter boxes near the lake. He had arrived at Two-time's garden. It wasn't much. Not flourishing, not dying. It's obvious that they have some kind of motivation, but they're clearly not the best at it. Whatever makes them happy, Dusekkar thought.

Plants and flowers scattered about in messy planters, some scraggly, some large and lush. Various garden tools were laid out neatly in a container near the gardens. Two-time had enjoyed growing foods on occasion, Dusekkar himself had tried their vegetables, and they really weren't half bad!

Dusekkar was attempting to be optimistic about speaking with the manic cultist, arriving next to where Two-time was seemingly tending to some seedlings in a bit of dirt. Two-time was a strange person, not even bothering with gloves or any of the garden tools that they had at their disposal.

"Two-time?"

Dusekkar called, watching as Two-time didn't even glance in his direction. They looked laser-focused on the small task they were doing, yet the way they spoke suggested otherwise. It was casual, yet still rather dignified. (Because of course it is. It's Two-Time.)

Dusekkar never had a problem with the way Two-time spoke. It was only slightly less formal than how the pumpkin himself had spoken.

"Did you need something, Dusekkar? I am occupied with a task at the moment."

Two-time replied distractedly. This confused Dusekkar a bit, how did Two-time always manage to seem so glued to small tasks like that? Two-time was confusing to Dusekkar in general.

"I was simply wondering if you were in need of assistance with your garden. My powers may be of help in this scenario."

Dusekkar tried to seem as genuine as he could while he spoke, he knew trying to converse with Two-time would probably be exhausting if The Spawn was somehow brought up. Dusekkar stood up a bit straighter, tilting their staff slightly as if to punctuate physically.

Two-time finally took their dirt stained hands out of the planter, dusting them off on their dark clothes. The cultist stood up, standing before Dusekkar.

"That might not be necessary. I can manage my garden perfectly well, without the means of divine intervention like yours!"

Two-time placed their hands on their hips like they were proud of having rejected Dusekkar's offer like that. Dusekkar thought they might say that, they did manage to care for their garden fairly well up until this point.

"Ah... Well, I still inquire about your response for... Non-magical help?"

Two-time looked away for a moment, chewing on the inside of their mouth while they decided whether or not they were going to let Dusekkar fiddle around with their hard-earned garden.

Dusekkar didn't know much about gardening. He didn't really like Two-time either, which made the thought of spending time with Two-time like this even less appealing. He tried to silently reason with himself, constantly reminding himself of the fact Taph said it would be a good idea. He trusted Taph *alot.* So... If Taph said it, they can't be *that* bad, right?

"Alright. You can help me... On one condition!"

Two-time announced, raising a finger and sticking it in Dusekkar's face far past where he would have drawn his personal bubble.

"I just want you to be careful. Spawn knows this garden means far too much to me. I do trust you, though!"

Dusekkar nodded. Hearing that Two-time trusts him, even despite the negative way Dusekkar had viewed their relationship, made Dusekkar just a bit more willing to spend time with them. He was still hesitant, however. If it really was that bad, Dusekkar reminded himself that he could just bake those brownies with Taph like he said they could. The thought was appealing.

"I'm so grateful you trust me enough to let me help you out with your garden. Would you mind giving me a task I might complete...?"

Two-time lowered their finger at Dusekkar's request, stopping for a moment to think of something for Dusekkar to do. Rather quickly Two-time came up with the idea for Dusekkar to help water the plants.

Maybe this manic cultist *was* going to be just as much trouble as he had imagined. Water? Really?

"Two-time.. I mean this in the most respectful way I could, I can't water your plants."

Maybe Taph was wrong. Maybe Taph was just trying to be optimistic towards Dusekkar while he rambled on about how he was being stalked.

Just then Dusekkar realized something. Over the entire time period that Dusekkar had been trying to interact with Two-time, not once had he felt anxious. He was far too distracted with convincing himself that Two-time wasn't that bad.

Even despite how grueling talking with the crazed person had seemed, it was infact distracting him. Taph was right. Maybe it wasn't distracting him in the way he had hoped, but it was working.

Dusekkar sighed, mind pulling back to the situation at hand. *Watering.*

Dusekkar's head was a pumpkin, a deep blue pumpkin. He was basically a jack-o'-lantern. He, himself was nothing more than a blindingly bright flame, the pumpkin served as a way to make him more pleasant to be around. (And look at.) Shedletsky had given him the gift, and he cared for it. Not that Dusekkar couldn't get the pumpkin wet, he just couldn't risk diminishing the flame that made up his actual head.

"I cannot risk to water the plants, Two-time."

Two-time seemed bored by Dusekkar's response, crossing their arms and narrowing their eyes at the figure before them. They tilted their head as they spoke.

"Your flame will be plenty safe, I can assure you! Unless you plan on watering your head, I doubt the spawn will be meeting with you today!"

Dusekkar almost face palmed in annoyance. He was *positive* Two-time wasn't trying to get on his nerves. Every time that they had mentioned The Spawn made Dusekkar want to act even more uptight. Yet, he didn't.

Instead, Dusekkar breathed out, and tried to reason with the cultist. He slumped his shoulders as he spoke, clearly seeming exasperated by the whole conversation.

"I only seek to aid you. I am certain I can assist your garden in any other way."

Two-time sighed and turned to go back to rummaging in the dirt. They kneeled down and signaled for Dusekkar to do the same. Dusekkar kneeled down carefully, leaning their staff carefully against a nearby planter box.

"Here— I have a couple containers of seeds I wish to plant. Help me with these."

Dusekkar nodded again, fair enough. Two-time poured a few of the seeds into one of Dusekkar's hands, and poured himself some to plant. The small packet of seeds were for deadly nightshades. Dusekkar wasn't sure why Two-time would grow something like that, but he didn't care enough to question.

Dusekkar really only knew the bare minimum of gardening. The thought of growing plants and vegetation had always seemed so calming, yet it felt impossible whenever Dussekar tried.

Two-time started poking small holes in the dirt with their fingers and gently placing the seed in it, before covering it up with dirt once again. The area was small, and was surrounded by a few lush plants. Two-time did have tools for gardening, but whenever someone had asked why they didn't use them, they would start rambling about how it made them feel closer to the Spawn and what not.

The silence was comforting to Dusekkar for a moment, before the gnawing thoughts of being watched soon flooded his mind again. He tried his best to swallow the feelings, he was near someone who could probably vouch for him if something was wrong.

Dusekkar hesitated, but the feeling was becoming unbearable once again. Two-time didn't have the most calming presence regardless.

"Two-time... Do you feel as if we're being watched currently...?"

Two-time once again didn't even stir as Dusekkar spoke, only slightly slowing down the rate at which they planted the small seeds. You could tell they *really* wanted that plant in specific to grow.

"I constantly feel as if I'm being watched. It's difficult to differentiate."

Two-time seemed to fail at noticing the slight tremble in the fearsome wizard's voice when he asked the question.

So... Maybe Two-time wouldn't be much help in figuring out if he was being watched or not. Despite how talking to someone usually calmed him down, Two-time seemed to be absolutely zero help. Maybe it was how unnerving Two-time was in general

After a while of Dusekkar trying to endure the terrifying feeling of being watched by some mysterious person he could never catch in the act, Dusekkar stood up. He dusted off his dirt-stained hands and brushed the dirt that might be on his robes off and started walking away. Two-time hardly noticed, or maybe they hardly cared. They were too busy planting their nightshades anyway.

Dusekkar was going to hang out with Taph, maybe he could make Dusekkar finally feel safe. Like he wasn't being stalked.

Right before Dusekkar could fully exit the dark garden, Two-Time seemed to manifest behind Dusekkar. They placed their cold dirty hand on Dusekkar's shoulder, making him jump slightly at the sudden contact. He quickly turned to face Two-Time, his robes whirling elegantly.

That constant unnerving smile Two-Time always had remained still. Dusekkar doubted he had ever even seen Two-Time break it.

"Gardening's not for everyone, Divine Pumpkin!"

Two-Time grinned, firmly patting Dusekkar's shoulder before turning on their heels and skipping back to their garden like some careless (mildly scary...) cat. Dussekar grimaced at the stupid nickname, he never was one to stray far from his name.

Builderman and Shedletsky called him a nickname, but they don't worship some fictional entity that mocks the power and reputation Dusekkar had worked so hard to acquire.

He was tempted to call back at Two-Time to quit it with the nicknames that the cultist seemingly loved, but he refrained. He couldn't stop himself from grumbling something under his breath about being stuck here with a maniac like them.

He marched back into the cabin— Or rather floated— finding Taph gazing out over the downstairs looking particularly fixated on the large red Drakobloxxer head on the wall. Taph's little wings that seemed to stem from the dark abyss in place of his face perked up as he laid his eyes on Dusekkar, he started waving him down and signaling for him to come up the stairs.

Chapter Text

Heya!!

Unfortunately, I have lost the writing I had planned to release for chapter 3 and chapter 4. I had some family members using my computer(including one who didn’t quite know how Microsoft word worked) and both chapters were accidentally deleted.

I honestly don’t have the words to explain what I feel right now. It’s been a while since I updated this, no doubt, but I don’t think I can bring myself to update for a decently long while. Not after losing all of the hard work I had written.

I may come back to this! I may rewrite the chapters eventually! I just don’t have it in me right now, I don’t have the mental capacity to rewrite ALL OF THAT to something stupid. I’ll probably work on other stuff soon enough. I have a couple ideas for some cool stuff I have yet to write, so if you liked this then maybe look forward to that! :)

I didn’t have many people following this fic anyway, (mainly because it’s still my first ever post) but to the few people who showed support and actually engaged I am SO INCREDIBLY THANKFUL FOR YOU!!(You know who you are :3)