Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Where the fuck am I?

That was my thought as I woke up and looked around at the unfamiliar ceiling.

Cuz I know I’m not poor enough to live in a house with wooden planks for a ceiling.

Also, there’s some loud noises going on around me, not yelling thankfully but loud enough that it was what woke me up in the first place. Which really says something considering I slept through a earthquake once.

A small one but still counts.

Wait wait what the fuck

I had tried to get up but couldn't, like my body was too weak to do so

Also I was wrapped around something tight, not ropes or duct tape but like fabric

I would have looked at what it was but I can't really move my head either

I tried a few more times to try to get up but it was all futile.

I eventually tried to call out for help but all that left my mouth was-

“Wwwwaaaaahhhhhh!!!”

-a baby wail.

What the fuck?

The sound of heavy footsteps and a large shadow then fell over where I lay at.

WHAT THE FUCK?!?!

“WWWWWAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!”

Dadan grumbled as she picked up the crying brat and tried to called her down by rocking her, with little success.

She regretted getting blackout drunk those nine months ago but the fact the bar was giving away free booze as celebration of the Pirate King's death was way to tempting to pass up.

The booze was just way too good

Though it was unfortunate that it resulted in her sleeping with some unknown guy who promptly ran off as soon as he woke up with his tail between his legs.

Even more unfortunate was that it led to her being knocked upwhich she unfortunately learned only months had passed.

Damn it all, she wasn't mother material!

She gave a sigh of relief when the brat finally stopped crying and fell back to sleep.

She looked down at her before placing her back in the crib and looked up at the ceiling.

Honestly, she didn't know why she didn't just drop the kid off at one of the houses around the island, there was a severe lack of kids being born on the island after all, no one would reject the kid after all.

Well, those rich pricks probably would but the others wouldn't mind raising the kid considering the lack of children being born on the island over the last few years..

She still technically could still do it but well…

She couldn't bare to think of the kid being raised by someone else.

Maybe it was some sort of parental instinct or something.

Giving another sigh she looked back at the sleeping brat.

“Well, try to be good for my sake Nadad, I don't need any more stress wrinkles then I already have from Garp.”

Chapter Text

Alright, so I finally figured out what happened after about a month.

At least I think it was a month?

It's pretty hard to keep track of the days when your sleep schedule is pretty fucked after all.

Wait where was I? Oh right, I figured out what happened.

I was isekai’d.

Pretty odd to jump straight to that but let me explain, I managed to figure that out after seeing, once my eyesight got clearer, all the weird heights and sizes of people’s along with odd hair coloring.

Now the hair could have been excused as dye and the strange body sizes could have been explained as potential birth defects, but seeing people with pink, yellow, and even red eye coloring confirms my realization that I was definitely not my word and in an anime like one.

Honestly, it was the last thing I ever expected about the asian literature industry being correct about dying and getting reborn in another world but it is what it is.

As for my death, I can't remember what it was that killed me, either due to trauma from it, my own baby brain stopping me from remember, or that I could have been half asleep when it happen.

But I'm guessing it was by Truck-Kun as he usually is the cause of isekai death in the first chapter of a series like that after all.

Moving on, to less death-involved things, it was unbelievably boring and traumatizing being a baby.

Boring because I couldn't really do anything other than sleep, eat, and stare at either the wooden ceiling or the walls and count the number of health violations I could spot.

Like seriously I'm pretty sure that we got black mold growing on one of the walls of this place here.

And for traumatizing because I have to wear a diaper and get changed by someone and there's the fact that I get breastfed.

Which is super ew when you're an adult in the body of a baby.

I did however learn that the hug shadow from before is apparently my new life mom.

Honestly, she's not bad, she comes when I cry and makes sure the others, who apparently live here, keep quiet or hold my head correctly whenever they pick me up so I'm thankful for that.

Other than that she didn't really do much with me, preferring to let the others play with me.

The others that I keep mentioning are a large group who apparently also live in the building with us.

They aren't bad, like I mentioned before, my new mom makes sure they are quiet when I'm sleeping and they are careful when picking me up.

Like seriously careful, pretty sure they think I'm made of glass or something.

To be fair I probably would be the same if I ever had to hold a baby.

Anyway besides that they are pretty nice, talk to me, one even sings though the vocals is honestly awful, or even tells stories.

Or at least I think they are telling stories? Pretty hard considering I don't know the language they are speaking in.

So on top of learning how to walk I also got to learn a whole ass new language.

I'm sure I can learn that easily.

I'm being sarcastic in case it's hard to tell.

I am gonna be absolute shit at that considering I was a very poor academic student, bad enough that I almost always had summer school every year in my past life.

My poor summer vacation.

Ah fuck, am I gonna have to go to school again in my new life?!

I really hope not.

Chapter Text

Been about a whole year or so since I found myself isekai and just as I thought…

…I was utterly crap at learning a whole new language.

Seriously, I kept fucking up my pronunciations and mixing up the words used for different situations. Like for example I keep mixing ‘thank you’ with ‘good morning’ for some reason. Please don’t ask me why I’m mixing them up as I have always had that issue even in my past life.

Caused so many cringeworthy moments that I still look back on in the middle of the night and wonder ‘Why the fuck did I do that?!’

Makes me kind of regretful that I still remember my past memories because if you're stuck as a baby with an adult mind you get lots of time to remember those moments and no way to distract yourself…

On a more positive note I’m sort of able to understand some words…as long as they aren’t too complicated, like I got down the more basic words that have been thrown around by the others.

Like booze, curse words, boss, and dumbass.

My first word was asshole btw.

It was sort of funny to see the others' reaction to that, including my mom’s as she yelled at them for what I’m pretty sure were teaching me curse words, never mind that she was also cursing at them right in front of me while doing so. Though I guess she is the type of parent who goes ‘Do as I say, not as I do.’ to their kids.

Anyway, life is not too bad though I think I’ve figured out something pretty terrifying.

I'm pretty sure my mom is a gang leader or has some sort of ties to criminal activities with the others.

Now it’s not really the fact that they are criminals that scares me, kind of hard to be scared of them when I’ve seen them freak out over a bee in the house, never mind that I was doing the same thing.

But it is the fact that it could bring attention to them being criminals. At best if it’s the police or whatever counts as law enforcement finds them then they will be arrested and while I will likely be stuck in foster care or an orphanage while at worst a rival criminal gang could decide to wipe us out.

I blame my love of watching crime documentaries for my mind to think this up.

But still it's a worrying thing for me since like I grew to like these guys here and I care about them so of course I wouldn't want anything bad to happen.

Hm maybe I'm just overreacting, we haven't had any issues out of the norm with them messing up chores or coming back out of breath for some reason. Hell last week they all had a celebration for something and even gave me a nice blue dress and some toys.

Yeah I should just relax

CRACK

Wh-what the heck?!

I looked up from where I was playing with blocks on the floor to where the door to the house was.

Or rather previously it was as it was on the ground along with a good portion of the wall that was around it.

And there standing in the doorway was the buffest man I had ever seen in both of my lives. Dressed in a fancy white outfit and carrying a bundle of cloth in one of his arms for whatever reason with a crescent scar on his face.

And judging the look he was giving everyone else who were previously going gaga over my attempts to build a block tower he wasn't here for anything good.

Oh fuck, we are all gonna die!

The man said the sound that the others sometimes used when refuting my mom and the others quickly left to go get her I think.

Leaving me behind with the potential future killer.

Good going guys, leaving a one-year-old alone with a stranger.

And like he was reading my mind he suddenly noticed me.

Fucking damnit!

Thankful it seemed he was more surprised at the sight of me than murderous which I guess I should be happy about. Though when he got closer that he was now directly standing over me which got me a bit scared as I had to crane my head completely up, and nearly fell over in the process, to look at his face.

His face remained unchanged from his curious expression, not even as he crouched down to look at me though I flinched at the sudden action.

We had a staring contest for a few minutes before-

Pffff what the heck?!

-he suddenly stuck out his tongue and crossed his eyes.

It was so sudden and random that I let out a startled laugh at the action, quickly covering my mouth to muffle the laugh, a rather odd one from being heard.

Though considering the happy expression the man had he seemed pretty amused by my actions.

I then heard the unmistakable sound of my mom's footsteps, obviously in a rush and it seemed the man did as well judging by how his ear seemed to twitch like how my dog in my past life did when he heard his name.

And just like my old dog he ignored it and focused and maki j another funny face to get me to laugh, this time touching his nose with his tongue.

So fucking stupid!

It was still kind of funny to me though and caused me to cover my mouth again to muffle the laughter that bubbled out just as my mom came into the room, panting and sweating.

She said something that the other man responded to before they started a conversation I could not follow due to how fast they were talking.

The old man then gestured to the bundle of cloth in his arms before flipping a iced of it over to reveal something to Mom that I could not see.

Though judging by the sound mom let out whatever it was was not good.

And then I heard a high-pitched cry coming from the bundle of cloth that had me startled and I realized what that sound was.

Did…did this man have a baby with him? Why would he have a baby with him and bring them here of all places?!

Look despite how the others and mom's best efforts were to baby-proof this place there were still places that could be pretty dangerous for babies or hell even for adults. It wasn't for my awareness that I probably would have gotten mildly hurt.

Seemed like mom agreed considering the way she gestured at the house and then at me though then the man said something.

Something about gold, I think?

Well, whatever it was it caused mom to stop and stare at him before looking at the baby and keep on staring for an uncomfortably long time.

…well this is an awkward place to be in.

Mom then said something that caused the man to nod.

For whatever reason he suddenly placed the baby on my lap.

Eh, wait why?!

I was absolutely confused and started to panic a bit as both my mom and the man left the room for another.

H-hey! You're leaving your baby, you're leaving your baby dude! Get back here!

And yet the man left, leaving me, a baby, with an even younger baby.

Fucker!

I looked down at the baby as it looked at me and man was this one ugly-looking baby.

Though honestly, all babies look ugly to me, not that I would say it out loud of course. I learned that lesson from my past life when I was a young child and a relative had invited us to see their newborn.

So much yelling and tears that day…

I came out of my thoughts when the others came back with a few having lumps over their head and looked exhausted though they seemed to chance when they noticed me and the baby in my lap.

They let out a surprised sound before they came over and seemed to examine both me and the baby while discussing something about..gap I think?

Well, whatever it was they stopped when the baby made a small noise and their eyes started to flutter before they seemed to fall asleep. The guys let out an “aww” sound while one took out one of those huge as snails that they all didn't seem to mind carrying and had it look at us.

I personally don't understand why nearly everyone here seemed to have them as they were huge slimy creatures, by you do you dudes.

After a few minutes of them going gaga over both me and the baby, mom and the buff dude came back though mom had a huge lump on top of her head.

Damn did he hit her? Like I'm all for equality but there's a limit to what should be considered equal.

Mom said coming that got the others freaking out before the buff guy said something as he picked his nose.

Gross, I'm never letting him touch me.

And now everyone, besides mom and the guy, jaws are on the ground with their eyes nearly popping out of their head.

Ok, those are some funny faces they are making here.

The guy then made his way past me and walked out of the destroyed doorway with a wave over his shoulder.

Did…did he just ditch a baby on us?

I then looked down at the baby as a smell started to fill the room that had me cringe as the baby woke up and scrunched their face before they started to cry.

Fuck

Chapter Text

I couldn't stop staring at the absolute carnage in front of me.

Red was everywhere, all over the grass, the flowers, and the side of the house.

All while a happy black haired toddler covered in dirt and surrounded by half-eaten tomatoes, devoured yet another one of the tomatoes I had painstakingly grown myself with my own blood, sweat, and tears.

I wanted to cry, curse out a god, and laugh all at once.

But instead I took a deep breath, calmed down, and sighed.

“Come on Ace, let's wash you up,” I said as I walked over to the kid who looked up from his carnage and gave me a grin.

Lil shit

I took his hand in mine and had him follow me, ignoring the sticky feeling of his hands and turning my head away when he tried to force the half-eaten tomato into my mouth smearing it onto my cheek.

Yeah, I'm gonna have to take a bath today too.

Judging by the looks the others in the house were giving us they agreed with that thought as well.

“Jeez again? This is the third time this month he has gotten into the garden.” Larry said as he looked away from his cards, allowing Ben to sneak a peek at them.

Garry laughed at that as he guzzled a bottle of alcohol before speaking. “Eh, he's a kid, he doesn't know any better and if anything it's Nadad's fault for letting him get away with it.”

Barry just nodded at that before his usually blank face was enveloped in a grin as he placed down his cards and showed a royal flush.

I just rolled my eyes at them as they broke out in shouts with Garry even accusing Barry of cheating and shouting how he is disowning him as his brother for the twelfth time this month.

I led Ace away from the incoming fight and to Mom's room. While she sat, counting out coins and other stolen items she and the others had gotten from people coming from the Goa Kingdom, they decided to try their luck on the roads in the mountains.

Normally I would have felt somewhat bad about the whole stealing thing but I had the unfortunate pleasure of meeting a lot of them more than once when I warned them against heading down the roads in the mountains and those meetings had caused me to lose any sympathy for them.

“Mom” I called out to her causing her to look away from the jewelry she held in her hand with an annoyed look on her face that only got worse when she saw both of us.

“You have got to be kidding me, again?!”

I just nodded at her exclamation while Ace let out a grimlin laughed as she let out a loud groan.

“Gonna fix the garden, can you clean him?” 

“Yeah yeah, just make sure that you're quick about it, it's a pain having to heat the water again.” She answered my question she got up and took Ace's other hand and took him to get washed off.

I wished her luck, it's really not easy to bathe a three-year-old, especially one like Ace. It was not easy to bathe a kid who doesn't care about flooding the entire area for fun.

Passing the still ongoing fight from the others I headed back to the garden and began to clean up, fixing the bent plants and putting the half-eaten tomatoes that would have seeds into the ground. Hopefully, some new tomato plants will end up growing from the result.

I brushed back a stray strand from my hair and began to check on the other plants in the garden, seeing if Ace had a go at them too before his tomato massacre.

And thankfully other than the zucchini, all the plants seemed to be fine. Which I'm incredibly thankful for as I would rather not have to try to wrangle a toddler to a doctor's appointment.

…actually, now that I think about it neither of us has ever been to the doctors before…

I couldn't stop the grimace that came to my face when I realized I would eventually have to drag him to a doctor's appointment in the future for both me and him.

I was not looking for the needles we would likely get since this world's technology seemed just advanced enough to be somewhat like my old life's level though not enough where they have things like TV or even cars but still enough that things like a phone exist…even if it's from a large snail.

Don't ask me how that's physically possible, I still get a headache from trying to think about it.

Though it seems oddly familiar? I just can't remember from where I've seen something like that before tho…

Well it probably doesn't matter in the long run, I'll figure out what the snails remind me of later on.

“Get back here!”

Turning at my mother's voice I saw the figure of her soaked in water chasing after a laughing naked Ace dripping water as he ran away from her and headed right towards me.

Oh hell no

Turning I began to run away from him as fast as I could.

I rather not walk around in wet clothes after all.

The laughter from the guys in the house mixed with Ace's laughter and Mom's curses.