Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

It was an ordinary morning in the Wachowski household, or as ordinary as things got with four hedgehogs and a echidna living under the same roof. Maddie was in the kitchen, chopping veggies, while Tom sipped his coffee, glancing occasionally at the chaos unfolding in the living room.

Shadow was acting strangely again.

The black-and-red hedgehog sat on the sofa, his arms folded, snorting and huffing now and then. Sonic, ever the blue blur of energy, sat beside him, looking amused and a bit flattered by the attention.

Knuckles lounged nearby, eyes suspicious, while Tails was tinkering with a gadget, pretending not to notice but clearly interested.

Tom exchanged a nervous glance with Maddie.

“Maddie, is it just me, or is Shadow... weirdly fixated on Sonic right now?” Tom whispered.

Maddie glanced over. Shadow’s chest puffed up, nostrils flaring as he snorted again, eyes locked on Sonic like he was a prize to be claimed. Sonic just smirked, tossing his quills back confidently.

“I think,” Maddie said quietly, “I read somewhere that hedgehogs do this kind of... huffing behavior during mating season.”

Tom choked on his coffee. “Mating season? Like... seriously?”

“Yeah,” Maddie whispered, “and they don’t exactly realize what they’re doing sometimes. Especially at their age—they’re basically teenagers. Hormones all over the place.”

Tom looked down at Sonic, who was now casually nudging Shadow’s arm with a playful grin.

“Oh God. Shadow’s trying to mate with Sonic,” Tom muttered.

“And Sonic doesn’t seem to mind!” Maddie added, almost wide-eyed.

Knuckles groaned. “Are you telling me this is all... natural? Like, biological?”

Tails finally looked up from his work, brow furrowed. “From what I know, hedgehogs like Shadow can even be hermaphrodites, so their scent and behavior can attract both males and females.”

“Great, so we have a confused, hormone-driven Shadow making moves on a flattered Sonic,” Tom said, half-laughing and half-panicking.

The hedgehogs themselves were oblivious to the growing human discomfort. Shadow sniffed again, the distinct snorting sounds filling the room as he edged closer. Sonic let out a light laugh, “You’re being weird, Shadow, but... it’s kinda cute.”

Shadow flushed, though his fur didn’t exactly show it. “I am not weird. This is mating behavior. It’s literally the season.”

“Wait, you know this?” Sonic asked, quirking an eyebrow.

Shadow deadpanned, “More than you realize.”

Knuckles rubbed his temples. “Can someone just explain this to us like humans? Because we’re totally lost.”

Maddie sighed, stepping in. “Alright, so hedgehog mating season means the males—sometimes females too—get hormonal. They do things like make snorting noises, puff up, and basically try to convince... a mate to be theirs.”

Tom added, “And when you live with these guys like family, you see it happen up close and personal. It’s awkward because it’s like teenage puberty, but with spikes.”

Tails nodded, “Sometimes they don’t get the social cues because, well, they’re not human. So they just act on impulse.”

Sonic laughed, looking at Shadow. “Well, guess that explains a lot. Sorry, Knucks and Tails, you’re stuck with us.”

Knuckles growled. “I just want a quiet house where I don’t have to deal with this nonsense.”

Shadow glanced at Sonic with something close to a smile. “Prepare yourself, blue.”

Sonic winked. “Bring it on, Hot Topic.”

Tom and Maddie shared a look and quietly backed out of the room.

Chapter Text

The living room was strangely quiet for once.

Too quiet.

Tom glanced up from the couch, where he’d been half-focused on a baseball game, and noticed Shadow and Sonic sitting *way* too close together. Shadow, as usual, was doing that low, deliberate *huff-snort* thing, eyes fixed on Sonic like he was mapping out his next move.

But this time… Sonic *snorted back.*

It was short and sharp at first, like he was testing it out, but then the blue blur leaned in a little and huffed again, perfectly mimicking Shadow’s rhythm. One hedgehog’s snort was answered by the other’s with growing… enthusiasm.

Tom froze mid-sip of coffee. “… Oh no. Maddie. Maddie, it’s happening.”

Maddie was pouring tea in the kitchen. “What’s happening?”

“They’re doing it.”

Maddie peeked around the corner. Sure enough – Sonic was now snorting at Shadow like it was the final round of some bizarre nose-breathing contest. Shadow fired back with a deeper, more intense *huff*, and Sonic smirked in a *your move, pal* kind of way before giving an impressively long one of his own.

“Oh no,” Maddie whispered, eyes widening. “If they start circling each other—”

“Yeah, I know.” Tom grimaced. “We cannot have our living room turn into… National Geographic.”

Meanwhile, Knuckles was watching from an armchair, clearly disturbed. “They’re escalating. Soon, they will spiral around each other in the Courtship Ring of Combat. It is both majestic and… unsettling.”

Tails, not looking up from his tablet, muttered, “They don’t even realize what they’re doing. This is *instinct mode*. Like two Roombas about to crash into each other forever.”

Shadow leaned forward, chest puffed out, another deep huff filling the room. Sonic—looking uncharacteristically bashful but also inexplicably proud—tilted his head, puffed out *his* chest, and then…

They both started that slow sidestep.

Tom’s eyes went wide. “Oh no you don’t!”

He hopped off the couch, stepping right between the two hedgehogs. Both of them stopped abruptly, looking up at him like he’d just cut the power during their favorite video game.

“Alright, you two,” Tom said in his best no-nonsense Dad voice. “Whatever this is, it’s not happening on the carpet. Not now. Not *ever*.”

Maddie swooped in behind him, hands on hips. “And before you even ask—no, we are *not* explaining why.”

Shadow frowned but didn’t respond. Sonic, however, crossed his arms dramatically and dropped into the deepest teenager pout imaginable.

“Ugh, are you serious? We weren’t even doing anything!” Sonic complained, drawing out the last word like it was physically painful. “Man, you guys are such—ugh—buzzkills.”

“You were literally about to start circling each other,” Tom pointed out.

Sonic shot back, “So? Maybe I *like* circles. Ever think about that, Dad?”

Maddie rubbed her temples. “We’re just… gonna redirect this before you two start doing something that requires carpet cleaning. Go… I dunno… race or something!”

Knuckles slowly got up and muttered, “Yes. Go channel your… whatever this is… outside. Far, far away from me.”

Tails, dryly: “Preferably in another state.”

Sonic rolled his eyes but shuffled toward the door with the most overdone, sulky teenage sigh of all time. “Fine. But this totally ruins my *flow*.”

Shadow wordlessly followed him out, glancing back at Tom in a way that somehow said both “you interrupted me” and “you will regret this.”

The humans let out a collective breath.

“Well,” Tom said finally, “I can now add ‘broke up hedgehog… breathing contest… before mating happened on family rug’ to my list of fatherhood experiences.”

Maddie poured herself more tea. “You know what? I don't even want to know if this counts as a win.”

Chapter Text

It started innocently enough.

Shadow had apparently decided the middle of the living room was now *his*. Using a combination of couch cushions, blankets, and—mysteriously—half of Tails’ clean laundry, he assembled a… sort of nest. Maddie had *just* vacuumed, so the sight of a giant hedgehog burrito in her pristine living room made her right eye twitch.

Shadow settled into the pile like a dragon hoarding security blankets. Sonic, curiosity piqued, plopped into the nest beside him. The two sat there quietly at first… aside from the soft *huff-huff-snort* noises they kept trading like some weird conversation no one else spoke the language to.

From the couch, Tom muttered, “Maddie. Why are they… making a fort?”

“Not a fort, Tom,” Maddie said, deadpan. “A safe space. Probably because it’s still… you know… that *season*.”

Knuckles was standing a healthy distance away. “This is a prelude to… something. I’m wisely choosing not to know what.”

Before anyone could say more, the blanket lump containing Sonic and Shadow started… moving.

And not small movements. No — the whole thing began jittering and rustling at high speed, accompanied by the distinct thirty-a-second “whirring” sound of two hedgehogs spindashing like their lives depended on it. The blanket puffed up, sagged, spun again — the entire nest rolling three feet to the left as if possessed.

Tom stared. “Are they—?”

Maddie didn’t even let him finish. “Yup. They are most definitely doing… *something*. I don’t know what it is, I don’t want to know… but it’s happening *fast*.”

Knuckles took a step back. “This is… unsettling. And loud.”

Tails just sighed without looking up from his tablet. “Technically, spinning in synchronized motion could be a valid courtship behavior for their species. So, y’know. Science.”

Inside the blanket, the sounds intensified — a blur of laughter, snorting, and turbo-charged friction like two blenders having a conversation. Sonic and Shadow were clearly in their own little world, ignoring every witness.

After a final, thunderous *WHRRR–stop*, the blanket went still.

Two seconds later, Sonic popped his head out of the pile, cheeks flushed crimson, grinning like he’d just won the Chaos Emerald lottery. Shadow remained half-buried in the nest beside him, looking perfectly content and maybe a tad smug.

“…What,” Tom said slowly, “just happened?”

Sonic flopped back into the cushions like a champ. “Oh, nothing much,” he said, stretching his arms behind his head. “Just… y’know… bonding time.”

Maddie pinched the bridge of her nose. “I cannot believe this is my life.”

Knuckles shook his head. “I’m going to the garage. Let me know when the weirdness quota for the day is met.”

Tails was already walking out of the room. “Good luck. It’s never met.”

As the humans dispersed, Sonic snuggled into the nest beside Shadow, looking ridiculously pleased with himself. Shadow gave a satisfied huff and closed his eyes, the two of them clearly in post-victory mode.

Maddie caught Tom’s eye and mouthed silently: *We are never getting that blanket back.*

Chapter Text

Three months.

That’s how long Tom and Maddie had endured the Great Hedgehog Hormone Summer.

Three months of snorting tournaments, stolen blankets, suspicious rustling noises, and pretending they didn’t notice when the “nest” in the living room mysteriously got bigger every week.

And then — one crisp September morning — it just… stopped.

No huffing. No synchronized spin-dashes under covers. No weird territorial quill-fluffing. Just two hedgehogs quietly sitting on the sofa, side by side, with the sort of awkward energy that comes right after you’ve run an emotional (and literal) marathon.

Tom was wary. “It’s… over?”

Shadow nodded once. Sonic shrugged.

Maddie arched an eyebrow. “So… the season ended?”

“Yup,” Sonic said casually, fidgeting with one glove. “Uh… and we should probably, like… say sorry for, y’know… the past couple months.”

Shadow, looking as uncomfortable as someone capable of blowing up planets could possibly look, muttered, “…Apologies.”

Knuckles, face dead serious: “You owe me more than apologies. You owe me *months* of peace and quiet that I will never get back.”

Tails set his tablet down. “Also, you used three of my blankets, half my laundry pile, and I’m never sure if they’re safe to touch ever again.”

Sonic stared at the floor for a moment, then glanced at Shadow, then back at everyone else. “Sooo, uh… we’re… dating now. Just putting that out there.”

Tom and Maddie exchanged the kind of parental “we knew it” look you save for when your kid admits the obvious.

“Honestly?” Tom said. “Not surprised. At all.”

Maddie smirked slightly. “We *do* still have questions, though.”

Tom scratched the back of his head. “Yeah, I mean… you’re both, uh… male, right? So… how does that…?”

Shadow’s eyes narrowed just enough to make Tom rethink his choice of words. Sonic, on the other hand, just waved a hand like he was brushing an annoying gnat away.

“I dunno, man. We’re technically *not even from this world*. I think me being gay—and whether that even happens in our species—is, like… the *least* of our concerns right now.”

Knuckles nodded gravely. “A wise point. Many strange things occur across worlds. For instance, on Angel Island, there is a tree that fruits in the shape of suspicious faces. No one questions it. We simply… live with it.”

Tails just shrugged. “Xenobiology’s weird. Roll with it.”

Maddie sighed, deciding, once and for all, that some questions were *not* for humans to answer about their adopted alien hedgehog children. “Alright,” she said at last. “Just… maybe keep the nesting out of the living room from now on.”

Sonic grinned sheepishly. “Deal.”

Shadow gave a dignified nod.

Tom flopped back on the couch. “Well… glad that’s over. Next crisis, please wait a few months before showing up.”

There was a moment of blissful silence.

Then Knuckles leaned forward. “… I heard echidna mating season overlaps with winter.”

Everyone froze.

“Don’t,” Maddie warned.

Knuckles leaned back. “As you wish.”