Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Hii!

My name's The Chosen One!

...It's uh...pretty long heheh.

Nice to meet you!

Lucky you caught me after work, the animator just went to bed.

He wouldn't let me talk to you because I might stop working.

The chain on my ankle?

What about it?

...I mean, yeah, it hurts sometimes, specially when he throws me into a wall-

A-anyway, this is my corner!

There's uh..., not much heh, sorry.

We have floor, pretty hard and uh... massive word document tab over there in the centre of the pc and um, app icons...

I don't like them.

How long have I been here?

Dunno, maybe... A day? The sun went down twice in the real word (I saw from the animators window), so it might have been two days.

How'd I get here?

Well er...

I remember...suddenly coming awake in this black box.

I think that was me being born? Don't know how to explain, one moment I didn't exist, the next- poof!

There I was!

Alive!

Being alive was so cool!

Seeing was amazing!

I wanted to explore this fun new world.

But I was inside a black box...it was a little small.

Not sure how I did, but I set myself on fire.

The box around me disappeared.

Freedom!

Then this floating white arrow thing came down started playing with me.

I think it's called a cursor.

He had a fun toy that shot these little metal things at me and I had to dodge and fight back.

I may have gotten a little carried away and er...

Wrecked his animation app...

Probably shouldn't have done that....

Not sure what happened after that, it's all a blur, only somehow all the app icons started fighting me.

I may have...gone a little far.

Killed Firefox...and some others-

B-but it's okay! They came back after the animator rebooted the computer after.

They were pisssed tho...still are.

Don’t see why. They’re still alive, aren’t they?

So er...I was about to shut the computer down.

Why?

I... don't know actually.

It just felt like I had to. Something I needed to do

A really loud sound blared out.

It hurt my ears quite a bit.

These electric bolt things jumped out of nowhere and attacked me, pinning me to a wall.

It was...scary, I admit.

I wasn't sure if I still wanted to keep playing after that.

Tried fighting but they just pressed down harder...and harder...sharp points tearing through my skin...

it hurt...still hurts...got marks all over my body...

I was shouting over and over to the animator

‘I give up!’

‘You win!’

‘I don’t want to play anymore!’

He ignored me.

...Then this big chest came and clamped around me, trapping me inside

That was even worse.

I thought we were playing!

Why did he put me in that tiny, dark chest for?

What did I do?

I couldn't see a thing in there. Barely any room to move.

Tried pounding and kicking at the opening for it to open.

Yelling for help.

Nobody came.

I was so scared I'd never get out

But eventually...I did.

Somehow.

Just...popped up in the centre of the pc? And fell to the ground like dead weight.

There was a chain attached to my leg with a heavy ball.

I can barely walk now.

It’s too heavy.

The animator wants me to burn pop ups.

I sit in the corner of his word document tab and destroy his ads now.

It was fun at first, but now my arms feel so numb and weak from lifting them so many times.

Don't know how long he wants me to do this for.

Wonder if we can fun again. Without cheating with chests and electric bolt thingies.

I'm pretty bored.

Hopefully it's soon.

He seems nice.

Chapter Text

So booooooored

Nothing to doooooo-

Creak

I jolt upright at the sound of a door outside the pc opens

Oh look, the animators back!

Hopefully he's in a good mood.

A shadowy figure appears outside the screen

"Hello!" I wave my arm.

"Can we please play? I promise not to break anything this time!" I ask hopefully.

No answer.

Hmph.

Okay... Maybe he's still annoyed with me for yesterday?

What did I even do-

Oh yeah

My arms were killing me after an hour of nonstop destroying pop ups so I stopped burning them for a sec.

I don't think the animator liked that, cause they next thing I knew, I was flung into a wall!

That actually hurt...a lot-

But it's not a big deal, he was probably just tired.

And I was being quite selfish, so really, it's my fault.

A spot of my arm aches when I press it now

The skin has gone weirdly greenish-purple.

I don't understand why it's changed colors.

It looks quite ugly.

Not sure how to feel about that…

The white arrow- I mean cursor- appears suddenly in the middle of the screen.

I scrambled to my feet and flap my arms up and down , trying to get his its attention.

"Helllloooo? Pleeeeease?" I yell, jumping up and down.

Why does he never listen to me???

The cursor flies down to the taskbar.

It clicks the drawing tool.

Once the tab pops up, the cursor moves towards me.

Yes yes yes yes!

I feel it's cold, lifeless touch as it clicks and lifts me off the ground.

Yay! He's noticed me! Finally!

Y'think he wants to play?

I wanna play!

It drops me inside the drawing tab.

I crash to the floor, landing in a heap, chain ball digging into my back from beneath me.

"Ow..."

Wish he would stop throwing me around.

It kinda hurts.

Oh well, not a big deal.

I stare through the screen.

There he is.

The animator.

He's so big.

His hair is black just like mine! And he's wearing these weird squares over his eyes, wonder what they do?

...Why does he look so upset?

Or...angry?

Angry-upset?

He's frowning, his forehead creased and eyes dark behind those squares on his face.

I swallow nervously, the hope I had disappearing.

Something else replaces it.

Confusion? Worry? Fear? Not sure honestly.

Did I...do something?

Don't think I did...

Did I?

The cursor flies over to the middle of the blank canvas, and someting drawing something in black ink.

I watch, mesmerized.

The animator is so cool.

He can draw pretty things.

I couldn't ever do something like that.

I squint at the outline of his drawing.

He's almost done I think.

It looks kinda like a stick.

Oh, now he's drawing a chain attached to the end and-

Hey! That looks just like my chain ball!

Only smaller.

Think it's a weapon-

I frown in confusion.

Why'd he draw that for?

The cursor selected it and swung it round a few times.

It made this wonderful swooshing sound as it cut through the air.

I clapped quickly in admiration.

"It looks great! What's it for?" I exclaim excitedly.

The cursor turns towards me, before it starts hovering in my direction.

I slowly stop clapping.

Erm...that's…strange

The chain on my leg disappeared.

Huh? Oh yay!

I shook my ankle, relieved to be free of that awful weight.

I look up and see the cursor still advancing.

He was getting awfully close…

My heart began beating faster.

"Heh, what are you doing?" I chuckle nervously.

He never gets this close normally.

He er...wants to show me the drawing-weapon-thing up close maybe?

Should I clap again?

Would that make him happy?

I'm not sure why, but my heart thumps louder now, pounding against my chest.

I take a small step back.

The cursor is quite big actually....er...bigger than I thought...wish it didn't still have that weapon...

it's kinda scary...Not sure why...

My back hits something hard.

The tab wall.

Nowhere else to go

Oh...

Why am I sweating?

More importantly, why is it so cold suddenly?

The cursors shadow falls onto me.

It's still got the chain ball thing, swinging it menacingly.

This is weird

It doesn’t feel right. Not at all.

"Can you keep that away from me please? I don't really like it..." I whisper, pressing against the wall.

It moves closer.

I shrink back.

"Please, I'm scared-"

The cursor swings.

I freeze.

Wha-?

Crack!

The ball connects with my shoulder.

I fly to the side.

Slam into the floor with a bump.

I lay there in shock.

Wh-what just...?

A deep burning pain bursts across my shoulder and collar bone.

Owowowowowithurts!

The pains sharp, aching and burns like fire.

I gasp out in pain.

My eyes blur with tears.

How can something hurt this much???

A movement catches my eye.

Looking up, I see the cursor hovering over me, the ball spinning round and round.

"W-why?" I choke, pushing myself up onto my arms.

The ball swings back.

Oh god

Frantically, I outstretch my arm.

"N-no no wait-AHHHHH!"

The hard ball slams down onto my back, knocking me to the floor.

My face slams against the solid floor.

All the air seems to have popped out my lungs.

I lie there wheezing.

Can't...breathe right

Pain radiates across my back.

It burns...Why does it burn?!

How do I stop it???

Tears stream down my face, my chest shuddering up and down violently.

"W-why-why'd-yo-you?-i-i- it hu-hurts!" I sob.

My back feels like it's snapped in two.

Nonono I don't want a broken back!

What did I do??? Why is he so angry with me?

Swoosh

My head snaps up a moment too late

Slam!

It collides with my cheek.

"AHHHHHHH!"

I fall to my side.

M-my face...feels like it's on fire.

Choking on my own sobs, I press a hand against my wet, throbbing cheek.

Ow-!

Hissing, I immediately pull back.

The inside of my mouth is torn and shredded.

Something warm fills my mouth.

Urgh! Why does it taste like metal?

I spit.

And stare in surprise.

That's not...why is my spit red?

Swoosh

An unbearable pain slams against my back again.

I think I heard a crack.

Howling in agony, I somehow stumble to my feet.

"St-stop-p-p i-it!" I cry weakly, backing up in the corner.

The wall against my back stung but I don’t think I care right now.

"Th-this is-isnt fu-fu-fun! I-I don't hic wa-wanna play an-anymo hic-more-"

Crack!

I scream.

---

"S-s-s-sto-hic-sto-p...h-h-ur-ts...pl-plea..se"

Pain.

Everywhere.

My whole body is in throbbing agony curled up on the floor.

My cheek feels tight and burning hot.

My throat feels shredded and raw.

I think...I think I'm broken

The world is fuzzy, dark and it won't stop spinning.

Might throw up...

The floor's so hard...Why does my hair feel wet?

I feel that horrible cursor hovering over me.

It swings the chain round in the air like a lasso, making this terrible swooshing noises that fill me with dread.

I hide my face in my arms, sobbing.

"Wh-wha-what d-did I d-do?" I gasp between sobs, breathing uneven and shaky.

My arms are trembling.

I can't stop them

Tried to but can't.

The cursor moves forward slightly.

Nonononopleasenomore!

I scream and flinch into myself.

Tears pour down my face.

I didn't know it was possible to cry this much.

Why is he hurting me?

Did I upset him?

I didn't mean to

Honest I didn't!

What is this sinking feeling in my stomach?

Why is my mouth so dry?

The inside of my injured cheek tastes like copper, the gums torn to shreds.

...He hasn't hit me in a while.

The swooshing noise stopped.

Please tell me he's done.

I can't take anymore.

Peeking through my arms, I don't see a cursor, nor the animator's figure behind the screen.

My leg feels oddly heavy-

Ah, the chain is back.

When did he put it back on?

Slowly, I sit up.

Still crying. Can't stop.

It's coming out in hiccups and gasps.

Wrapping my arms around my chest, I rock back and forth, tears slowly dripping down my face and onto the white floor-

...Why is the floor red?

A puddle of red pools where I just lay my head.

 It looks like the stuff I spat out.

Gingerly, I reach out and touch it.

Feels like water.

Only...not like water. Dirtier somehow.

The animator's gone.

I don't know whether to be relieved or cry harder.

Relieved he's not gonna hurt me.

Or cry because I'm all alone now.

Again.

The lights to the pc cut out.

Black.

I'm stuck in darkness.

Dark is scary

So quiet...

...I don't like this.

I really don't like this.

Burying my face in my knees (carefully avoiding my aching cheek) a single though persists in my mind.

Why did he do that?

I don't understand, was I being bad?

Maybe I was.

Oh... perhaps I deserve this than?

A sob escapes my lips. My heart aches like something's stabbed it.

I don't want to be bad...

Especially if it hurts this much

Chapter Text

I think I saw something move in the corner.

Not sure though.

It's too dark to tell.

How long has it been since the animator logged on?

Feels like forever.

Usually I long for him to come back in hopes he might play with me, but now...

I sit up slowly.

"AH!" I cry out, hunching over as sharp pains shoot through my spine.

Y'know, I'll just lie down for a bit instead.

I curl up on my side instead, pulling my hand up to my mouth and gently nibbling the skin round my knuckles.

He hit me...really hard...

Didn't stop... even when I was screaming that I was sorry. Or while I was crying. Or begging.

Over and over, slamming into my body with that thing-

W-well, I doubt he'd do it again.

The animator is nice.

He made me.

He played with me.

He was just...upset.

And I did something wrong.

Not sure what though.

But it's my fault.

Maybe I'm not supposed to talk?

Is that why he ignores me? Or was I supposed to help him draw? I don't know how to draw though!

Urgh, what did I do wrong???

My cheek hurts. So does my back. And the rest of my useless body.

My face is still sticky with tears.

The inside of my mouth is torn apart.

I run my tongue slowly over to the side of my injured cheek’s inside. It's shredded and open, stinging to touch.

I think when the ball hit my face, my cheek slammed against my teeth, slicing the gums open.

Speaking of teeth...

My tongue traced over the newly chipped tooth at the side of my mouth, broken in half in a slanted way.

Must have broken when he hit me.

Huh!?

My eyes snapped to the side.

Nothing but darkness...

Could have sworn I saw movement.

...It's too silent.

I want the animator to come back

But I don't want him to come back

He… might be sorry when he sees how hurt I am?

Maybe he'll make me better so we can play?

... probably not.

---

I don't care anymore.

I want him to come back

I want him to come back so bad.

The silence is overwhelming.

The pc's freezing.

It always gets colder when the animator's not here.

My hands have stopped shaking.

That's good.

I managed to sit up and somehow slump against the wall.

Back still aches though.

A wave of hopelessness crashes over me.

Suddenly, I'm bawling my eyes out, heart hurting like it's being shredded to pieces.

I don't want to be alone!

Why do I feel like this??

Why can't I stop crying???

---

I blink drowsily.

The lights are back on...huh

...

Is he back?!

I jolt upright and stare at the screen.

A shadowy figure was there

It's him.

It's him it's him it's him

Why can't I breathe?

Why is my chest so tight?

... Being alone doesn't seem so bad now

I didn't do anything wrong did I???

He's not going to hurt me again is he?

Is he????

I don't want him to hurt me!

The cursor appears.

Flies towards me.

"Waitwaitwait-Ididntdoanything!-" I stammer, scrambling back on my hands.

Tears sting in my eyes.

My back smacks into the wall.

Jarring pain shoots up my spine

"OWWW!" I scream, falling to my side and withering in agony.

My back still hurts so much...but no one hit me...why does it still hurt???

The cursor stops near my shoulder.

Pokes me.

"I'M SORRY!"

I didn't even need to think about them, the words just flew out my mouth automatically.

It’s so hard to breathe.

It feels like being stuck in a box that's too small, crammed between two walls.

My mouth is so dry. I curl into my side and hide my face in my hands.

I can't see anything

M-Maybe he won't be able to see me?

I was immediately proven wrong as I felt the cold click of the cursor as it lifts me off the ground.

A wave of panic washes over me as I struggle, slamming over and over again my hand against its hard white surface.

Tried kicking. Pain jolted through my spine again.

The cursor sets me down in a standing position in the middle of the drawing canvas.

And let go.

"Owowowowo!" I shriek, crumpling to the floor.

Pain erupted inside my spine. Burns like someone has thrown acid across it.

I sit up slowly.

I can't stand...

Which means I can’t walk-

Nonono I can walk! Of course I can!

Just need to try again!

I try pushing myself onto one foot.

"MNGH!"

Immediately thump back onto my hands and knees

...I can't walk

Sit up.

I can't walk

Hug my knees.

Can't even stand.

Bury my face into them and start sobbing.

Why am I crying so much now?

Why is it so easy to?

Why can't I walk???

I cry harder, hot tears streaming down my face.

My head hurts.

My mouth hurts.

My eyes hurt.

Everything hurts.

Why? Why???

I want to walk!

I don't wanna be stuck in the ground forever!

Even with the chain, at least I could still stand!

Something cold touches me.

I jolt back.

O-oh...just the cursor.

It's got my tool menu out...

Scrolls down...

What is he doing?

Well, now that I have its attention…

"H-hey... I'm sorry for whatever I did to upset you yesterday," I call out hopefully, voice cracked and teary.

Maybe now he'll be happy with me.

My hope deflated as he completely ignores me, hovering over one of the tools on my menu.

It has weird scribbles...or shapes on it.

I think those are words, but I can't really read...not properly anywa-

Click

Black.

Everything is black.

This place again.

"The chest" I breath.

"The chest~"

Huh????

I twist my head wildly.

No one's there.

Well...I don't think anyone is there...can't be sure though, being do dark and all.

The voice sounded just like me only...quieter. and bouncier somehow.

"H-hello?"

"H-hello~"

There it is again!

Why does it sound like me? And why does it only repeat what I say?

Hey! Maybe we can be friends-

Oh.

I think this what an echo is.

The animator watched a video recently about it. About how it's just a bunch of tiny waves jumping off the walls and coming back and how bats and dolphins use it too...hunt I think? Or play?

I don't remember.

Either way, I’m still alone.

Sinking to the cold floor, I curl up and shut my eyes.

Really tired.

And there's been this weird pain in my stomach, this empty ache. My mouths started making more of that wet stuff than usual. I don't know how to make it stop.

I kinda feel like chewing on something.

Not that there's anything to chew on…apart from my hands.

I bring my hand over to my mouth and gently bite round the knuckles.

So strange...the hard things inside my hand. I wish they weren't there. They make biting so much harder.

Wonder if I could bite right through it?

Why am I in here anyway?

I pause.

Is he...upset with me?

Does that mean...I was being bad again?

...oh dear

...I don't want him to think I meant to be bad... I didn't...

I just want him to be happy with me.

Chapter Text

It's been a couple days.

The animator barely looks at me in my corner of the word document tab anymore.

Don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing.

Whenever he's done, he sends me back to the black place.

I call it the black box

It's not so bad in there anymore.

A little cold though.

And very quiet.

I still can't walk properly.

Well, I can stand at least, though my legs are all crooked and shaky, and my back is slouched. I would straighten up, but it hurts too much.

One of my legs really hurt when I put weight on it, as well as my lower back. I think those places are where the ball hit me the most. My shin has swollen up like a balloon, and it’s turned a disgusting shade of greenish purple.

I can't walk but I can kinda half-limp, half-hop on my good leg, though it's a painful and slow process.

I've been practicing in my box. Holding onto the walls and hopping round the room.

The darkness isn't really an issue anymore.

I've gotten used to it.

Still scary though.

Limping takes a lot of energy, so usually I just crawl whenever I want to move.

Slow, but ultimately less painful.

Still not sure what I did to upset the animator, but he seems to be pleased lately, so I guess I haven’t done anything wrong.

He's summoned me.

The pc always seems so bright after being in the box.

I blink at blinding lights.

My chain is back on.

His figure shifts behind the screen.

My heart beats faster as I realise where I am.

The drawing canvas.

‘Oh god please’

The cursor approaches.

I stumble backwards and trip over my own feet.

Thump!

Crash to the floor with a bump.

The cursor looms over me.

A whimper leaves my lips.

"Please, I didn't do anything I swear!" I choke out quickly.

The cursor inches forward. My blood turns cold.

I scrambled back, only for the chain to tug at my leg, keeping me from escape.

Can't run. Can't walk. Can't get away.

"DON'T-I PROMISE I'LL BE GOOD!" I shriek, tears already welling up.

Memories of the ball swinging make my stomach flip, of it slamming into my face, of it sending me flying into a wall, of it hitting the same spot over my back over and over and over while him screaming for him to stop but he doesn’t listen doesn’t listen never listens-

The cursor clicks me.

My body goes limp.

"Please...please...I...I can't...not again," I mumble weakly, my fists patheticly hitting against it.

Terror consumes my body, leaving me paralysed.

I try pulling back as it lifts me into the air.

No use.

It drops me lightly to the centre of the canvas.

I flump down uselessly to the floor and curl up, hiding my face in my hands.

The lights hurt my eyes...it makes my head spin... I feel so sick...

The pain in my stomach has gotten worse.

It digs in deep, the emptiness growing.

The cursor clicks and drags me up into a standing position.

My knees tremble uncontrollably and they bend at the weight, and my back unintentionally hunches forward.

I fiddle nervously with my hands, picking at the skin around my nails.

The cursor stares for a moment.

The animator sighs.

What did I do wrong?!

The cursor switches into an eraser.

My eyes widen, breath catching in my throat.

H-he's not actually going to...kill me…is he?

The next moment was a blur.

One moment I’m standing. The next, I'm on the floor, pushing myself up on my hands and...

Where's my knees...

Bile rises to my throat.

My legs and waist are gone.

I let out a choked whimper as I catch sight of my stomach, now half missing.

He's cut me in half.

A horrible noise pieces through the air.

He's cut me half

I think it's my screams.

He's cut me in half

It didn't hurt much

He's cut me in hal-

I flinch back as the cursor approaches.

Moaning in fright, I shut my eyes and rest my head back on the floor.

This is it.

He's sick of me. He's getting rid of the rest of me.

I'm finished.

What did I even do wrong?

...                                                      

….

…..

……Why am I still here?

I crack open one eye.

The cursor clicks me.

I let it drag me to a standing position again...

I'm standing.

My legs are back!

I stare down and kick a few times just to be sure they were real.

They were

And no more pain!

Tears welled up and spilled down my face as I jumped up and down for joy.

My legs! I can't walk! I can run!

I sprint forward to give the cursor a hug and-

Something yanks my ankle back and I trip to the floor.

Oh yeah...chain ball…

W-well that's fine! I can move properly now!

The animator's so nice to fix me.

Chapter Text

I've solved the problem to the emptiness in my stomach!

It turns out, I just have to put stuff in my mouth and swallow.

Simple, isn't it?

Sure, not a lot of things are small enough to push through my Pac-man mouth, but those weird squiggly shapes (which I found out are actually called letters) fit fine.

The inside of my mouth has healed.

I've mainly been digging through the trashcan and taking letters from there, but it's empty now.

And my tummy is starting to hurt.

I don't like this feeling...

The animators left me on the word document again.

Alone.

Its night-time in the real world. I can tell from how dark the room is, even if his windows curtains are drawn.

I rise to my feet.

The chains round my ankle clinks.

Spread out before me was a page.

A page full of letters.

My tummy makes a strange growling noise.

Doesn't hurt but it doesn't feel good either.

I start chewing my lip. I think this is what hunger’s called.

Why the animator sits there for hours writing, erasing and rewriting the same letters I'll never understand.

Why not slam a couple of words into the page and be done with it?

Why spend hours changing it again and again?

My thoughts are interrupted by another rumbling noise. My tummy is vibrating.

...I think that means I should eat.

But the trashcan's empty.

I glance back at the page.

So many letters...he wouldn't notice if I took one?

---

Okay, so I may have taken a little too much.

Like, two lines.

But my tummy feels better now.

The animator won't notice, they all look the same anyway.

What to do now?

I tap my foot impatiently.

The chain clicks.

That ball is really so annoying. I wish I could take it off.

An idea pops into my mind.

Flames burst from my hand. I direct them towards the chain and blast harder.

And harder.

And harder.

Sweat drips down my forehead.

Gasps shudder through my chest.

My hands tremble.

The chain is turning...red? Orangish red.

Puzzled, I pause, flames dying in my palms.

Why is it...glowing?

And it’s so very pretty.

Kinda makes me wanna-

Reaching out, I touch it.

"Owowow!" I shriek, pulling my hand back as my fingertips burst with a kind of pain I have never felt before. I wave it around in the air, trying to get the pain to stop.

It's hot, like my fire but it hurts. And it's shocking too.

Tears sting on my eyes, but I blink then back

I inspect my burning hand. Looks fine.

The skin feels off though. It's a little stiff where I pressed the chain.

Why do chains hurt now? They never did before!

Why did it change colours?

Does it change red when I hit it with fire? Does it only hurt when it's red?

I'm so confused.

Head spinning and hand still throbbing, I thump down to the floor and light a spark in my unhurt hand. It grows into a smaller flame, which I gently roll around my fingers.

The heat is nice. It feels warm and comforting.

Why is there nothing to do?

I light up yet another fireball and throw it at the ceiling.

It hits, exploding as soon as it makes contact.

I don't really like making fireballs honestly, since they take up more energy and are harder to aim than just plain fire, but I'm sick of throwing fireballs at Firefox and the other icons.

Stupid icons.

Free to roam while I'm stuck here, chained to a dumb ball.

Another fireball forms in my hand.

I throw.

It misses the ceiling and explodes onto the page.

My heart stops.

---

I can fix this I can fix this I can fix this!

...no I can't.

I stare up at the blank remains of the page, all the letters gone.

Burnt away.

What a waste.

Bile rises to my throat as I start pacing circles round my chain ball.

The animator's going to be angry.

My stomach flips.

Maybe... maybe he won’t?

...Even I knew that's a lie.

H-he's going to hurt me-

N-no! I can fix...well I can't but the animators nice!

Maybe if I explain it and say I'm sorry he'll-

Creak.

He's back oh god he's back

I see a shadowy figure appear.

That's him.

I'm scared.

My legs feel weak, as though they might give out, my mind a hazy mess.

I hear a gasp as he looks at the page and I flinch.

"I-I know it looks bad but I can help you make a new one!" I whisper faintly, voice quaking.

Wasn't sure how I could help though

My hands have started trembling and they won't stop. Breathing is so hard again.

I think I might fall down from how much my legs are shaking.

Slam!

I jolt back and land on the floor as the pc shook, the animator slamming his fist on his desk.

I feel so sick...why did I eat?

My tummy is sinking, the horrible feeling settling in the pit of my stomach.

He's angry. Really angry.

I'm not sure what's going on.

Breathing is so difficult, it's coming out is quick gasps. My eyes have gone all blurry even though there's no tears in them, and the world is swaying side to side.

Click.

Fear consumes me as I'm yanked of the floor and tossed into the...oh god it's the art tab.

Nononononon-

My back hits the floor. Pain jolts through my body.

So white in here

I scrambled to my feet and immediately trip over the chain.

My chin hits the floor, causing my teeth to split my upper lip. It burns.

A single sob comes out of my mouth.

I taste metal.

It's horrible.

A shadow falls over me.

I can't move, why can't I move?

Terror overwhelms me.

please

Something cold presses against my foot.

The air’s caught in my throat as I whimper. It sounds so horribly weak. I hate it.

Pleasepleasepleasepleasedon't-

The ground has disappeared beneath me as I'm flung backwards through the air.

Crack!

"AAHHHHHH!"

I fall back to the floor, a crumpled heap. The back of my head throbs, hot pain radiating across it.

Tears blurry in my eyes, I put a hand up to my head and... It's wet again.

I bring my hand back to my face.

It's covered in blurry red...so red...

I...I don't understand...I-it’s not usually red...why do feel so scared after seeing it?i-its just a colour...

My vision worsens as the cursor advances, my eyes snapping up.

My mouth is dry.

"P-please I-I-I'm sor-sorr-y" I stammer. It's hard to speak, especially with my bloody, split lip, hard to know what the right thing to say is.

Does what I say even matter though? He never listens

I don't think the cursor is big anymore.

I think I'm just small.

---

Screams bounce off the pc walls.

I hate the way they sound.

Wish they weren't mine.

Wish everything didn't hurt so much. Why does anything hurt? It feels so terrible. What is the point of hurting?

I'm not sure what parts of me are bleeding or not. Everything’s just red.

Bleeding...that's a new word...where did I learn that from?

Does it matter?

My lip isn't cut in only one place anymore.

I've never noticed how much the floor hurts when your body feels like every bit of it has been shattered and stomped on lots of times.

The world is fuzzy mess if white and red.

I don't like the colour red.

It tastes funny.

And it always hurts so much when I see it.

Where did the cursor go again?

I look up from the ball I was just curled up in on the floor.

It's gone.

My heart stops as I catch sight of it.

No more please I beg you no more-

Oh, it's gone back to the word document.

I let out a pained breath of relief. My ribs feel like they've punctured my lungs from how hard I hit the wall.

A weird noise fills the air. A pathetic noise.

...it's me.

I can't stop making strange, scared noises, even though he's gone now.

Terrified he might come back.

Come back and kill me.

…at least he didn’t draw anything this time

My whole body is shaking like leaf.

A sick feeling forms in my stomach.

I lurch forward and gag.

A strange black, gloppy liquid splattered across the floor, the horrendous taste coating my tongue.

Wh-what is t-th-this?

I gag again, and more comes.

This one has a little red swirling in it.

I stare at the mess that just left my mouth.

It smells like...letters. and red.

Why...why does it smell like letters? Why is stuff coming out of my mouth? Why does it make me feel so horrible?

My hands trembling, I raised a hair and comb it through my hair. Its instantly wet again.

I whine as my hand touched a gaping cut, it burning like acid.

Rolling onto my side, I shut my eyes.

Tears still come, no matter how hard I try to hold them back. Flow down my face.

I smell so much red...it smells like metal... tastes like that too.

Sobs pour out and I curl into myself, hugging my arms close to my chest.

My chest aches, and not just on the outside, the inside too. It feels like someone sliced through my heart, and was drowning it in acid.

It's almost worse than the physical pain.

Why did I eat his letters? Why didn't I just stay hungry? It's better than this no doubt

I wish I never ate them. I wish I never upset him. Now he's in a bad mood. He'll be angry now.

He's scary when he's angry.

I shouldn't have done that to him.

It's my fault.

But...maybe he shouldn't be doing this to me?

I clench my arms tighter.

He's got every right to punish me when I do something bad. I'm the one in wrong here, not him. I shouldn't have eaten his stuff. I deserve this. The animator wouldn't do this for no reason.

I cough, covering my mouth with my hand.

Opening my eyes a slimmer I glance and my hand and see it stained with red.

Oh...

Maybe my insides really are cut open.

Chapter Text

I'm so cold...and hungry...and I think something just touched me..........

I hate no being able to see.

The box is really...black for a lack of a better term.

I'm not sure what touched me but I want to get out of here.

Can't though. I'm stuck.

Best I can do is curl in the corner and hope whatever touched me can't see me down here.

---

The animator summoned me a while ago.

He's gone now.

It's around evening in the real world.

I wish I had a pretty window with a sky and a moon and a sun.

Oh look, he's back.

... hopefully in a good mood.

---

In the drawing canvas again.

Can barely breathe.

The cursor's drawing.

My legs are already quaking, hands trembling and clammy.

What is he making...it's not another weapon is it???

My chest is tight, heart pounding against it.

I didn't do anything didn't do anything didn't do anything I shouldn't be scared I didn't-

What if I did? What if I...blocked an ad wrong?

How would I even do that? Is there a wrong way to block a pop up??

The cursor moves away from the drawing proudly.

I can't help but flinch slightly.

Is that... a car?

I breathe out in relief. Thank god. Just a car. Real pretty one too.

I give it an enthusiastic clap because that might make the animator happy. And when he's in a good mood he doesn't hurt me.

He draws a circular track on the ground for the car and starts the it..

The cursor cut through the air towards me.

NONONONOPLEASE

I stumble back and it clicks me.

My body stiffened as it lifts me up and...pops me into the car’s front seat behid the wheel.

Oh... didn't expect that...it is a nice car though...

It has no roof and shiny glass at the front of it. It doesn't have a colour, just white and black outlines. The seats are soft and kinda squishy. I like them.

Zoom!

With a loud roar, the car shoots off and begins speeding circles round the track.

My heart jumps to my mouth as I clench my seat, scared I might fly right out of my seat.

The fear eventually wades of as I relax, and start flapping my hand in excitement as the car goes even faster.

It's rather fun.

A thought hits me

Is the animator.... playing with me?

My breath hitches.

YESSSSSSSS!

Both my arms shoot up in excitement, enjoying the rush of air that sends my hair flying in all directions and makes the ends of my fingers numb and tingly.

This is fun!

What is this strange feeling in my chest? It feels so nice and bouncy! I like, no, I love it! I wanna feel like this forever!

The car speeds up and I unintentionally squeal.

This is so fun the animators the bestest ever he let's me play with his cars and even watches me having fun and-

The car stops abruptly.

I jolt forward, forehead missing the steering wheel by a few millimeters.

Huh? Why'd it stop? Turn it back on!

 Looking up at the animator—who seems oddly disappointed for some reason— then at the cursor, I give it a confused look.

"Why did you stop? Could you start it again please?"

It darts towards me and yanks me out of the seat, throwing me outside the car to the floor.

Thump

"Ow...Sorry for asking," I mumble quickly, slightly disappointed.

The cursor lifts me up to a standing position.

The chain round my ankle disappears.

I would have been happy at being able to move again, but something feels really wrong about it. My heart is beating faster and that usually means something bad'll happen.

The cursor suddenly has a rope and wraps it round my forearms.

I'm surprised it didn't snap, it's a really thin rope, no bigger than my finger.

Wonder what he's doing?

The cursor secures the rope by pulling on it (little too hard that I almost fall over) and moves towards the car.

The ropes are really smooth, a little sharp somehow. I think their called a lasso?

A loud roar fills my ears. I pause.

Is that the car-?

The lasso tightens painfully around my wrists as it yanks me forward.

I let out a startled cry as some kind of invisible arm drags me forward, forcing me into a run to keep up with it.

It's the car. He's tied me to car.

Why did he do that? Is this a game?

...I don't really like it... Really don't like it...

How do I stop?

It's going too fast!

"C-could we st-stop?" I stammer, my legs burning from the strain of trying to keep up with the car.

It only seems to go faster. I force my legs to keep up.

How do I stop it????

"Ple-please? I'm g-going to f-fall!" I cry.

It's just a game. He'll stop before I hurt myself, right?

The rope strains against my arms. I...I'm slowing down

Can't keep doing this.... might actually fall and hurt myself really bad...

"PLEASE! listen to me!" I shriek, my legs feeling as though they might give out any minute.

I look at the cursor helplessly, willing it to help.

It stares back blankly.

My stomach sinks.

In desperation, I turn my head up to the animator. Each breath feels like sucking in acid and my head spins from going in circles so many times.

Vision blurry and the world swaying, I gesture to him, clasping both hands together and moving them up and down in a pleading motion.

He'll see me and stop it.

I stumble, almost tripping. My breath hitched and I accidentally whimper.

"St-stop i-it! I'm s-sorry!" I cry, tears brimming in my eyes.

My legs hurt so much and my feet ache from pounding against the hard floor

The animator shifts and reaches for the mouse on his desk- he's going to stop it!

I could have almost laughed in relief.

The cursor chases the car.

Just a few more seconds just a few more-

...It's going faster. Why's it going faster???

I can’t-I CAN'T DO THIS

"IT'S TOO FAST!" I scream.

I'm lagging behind... The rope is straining, cutting into my wrists.

...too slow... going to fall...

"Pleasepleasepleaseplease!" I sob, tears spilling and flying past my cheeks. "I-I'm go-gonn-na-!"

My foot twists.

I trip forward.

Pain.

So much pain.

Erupting across my forehead.

I think I'm screaming. There is a loud noise in the tab. Or I might be crying, my cheeks feel so wet.

Still moving... being dragged on the floor...arms still attached to the rope...my wrists hurt so much...wonder if the rope'll cut through them...

The pain fades as everything turned black.

---

My face feels like it's been scraped raw.

It really hurts.

Not sure when I woke up.

Not sure why I went to sleep in the first place honestly.

The car's still moving. And I'm still being dragged across the floor, face down.

Tried struggling. Given up.

My arms ache from being help up for so long and the floor burns my stomach from how fast we're moving.

Face is wet from what I hope is tears.

I did taste a little red in my mouth though.

The cars slowing... It's slowing!

It comes to halt.

I lie there for a moment. Everything hurts so much.

Is it really done? Or will he start it up again?

Get up before he does. Get up get up get up get up.

I slowly sit up and rise onto my knees, hold out my bound wrists, biting the rope as hard as I can.

It doesn't break.

I try again, my teeth grinding and pulling against it with all my strength.

I haven't noticed how hard my hands were shaking, or how loud and uneven my breathing had gotten.

My body feels like one big bruise, bones feel shattered.

No use. Can't break it.

A sob escapes my lips. And another.

I fall to a sitting position, my arms still stretched above me and break down.

I feel so...weak.

Tears streaming down my face, I'm gasping for air as sobs jolt through my body. Shaky whimpers and whines leave my mouth. I can't stop them.

Why did he hurt me? We were playing!

I can't stop crying. My heart hurts almost as much as my body does. It feels like someone's twisted a dagger through it.

Why...why didn't he stop? Did he...make the car faster?

I cry harder, heart burning in my chest.

Why? Why why why why why???

What did I do? Was I not supposed to raise my arms in the car? Was I supposed to break the car? I don't understand! What upset him?

I choke on a sob. Red splatters the floor.

I stare at it for a moment, my bottom lip starting to tremble.

Curl up and rock back and forth, my knees close to my chest, arms straining above my head.

I scream into my knees and that somehow transforms itself into a sob too.

Something nudges me. I jolt and fall onto my back, heart jumping to my mouth.

The cursor selects the rope and deletes it.

My hands fall limp to the floor.

The wrists have swollen, and have gone a strange shade of greenish-purple, rope marks etched into my skin.

They feel so stiff and it hurts to move them too much.

"What-hic- wh-what did I-I d-hic-do?" I sob, sniffing as my nose starts to run. I raised a hand and wipe my nose, wincing as it hurts.

The cursor doesn't do anything, just transports my back to my box.

I collapse to the floor and shriek as shooting pains jab through my back.

My stomach growls.

I bring my hand up to my mouth and nibble the edge of my knuckles.

So hungry...wonder if I could eat my hand?

No no...I need them to burn pop ups. And also, it'd hurt too much if I ate it.

I think back to last week, where I burned all his work.

"It's me, isn't it?" I say quietly, my breathing slowing as my sobs calm down.

The room repeats my sobs until their too silent to echo.

My chest shakes up and down as I cry quietly, hiding my face in my arms and curling up on the hard floor.

My heart still hurts. Everything hurts. The floor doesn't help.

I want to sleep in a car. With nice soft seats.

...On second thought, I’m never thinking about cars again.

"I'm...I'm just bad, aren't I?" I whisper.

"That's why he punished me like this. I'm just a terrible animation."

"I'm bad. Bad bad bad!" My voice rises at the last part.

"Bad bad bad~"

I whimper and shrink into myself.

"Don't leave me here... please bring me back... I'll be good I promise...Im sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm so sorry" I croak as loud as I could.

"Sorry so sorry~"

Maybe he heard me? Maybe he'll come back?

I lift my head hopefully. He'll fix me. He'll make me stop hurting. We'll play. And everything will be fine and good and happy and...and...

...Silence.

He's not coming, is he?

It was stupid of me to think he would.

Don't deserve it anyway.

I drop my head and burst into tears.

What's wrong with me?

Chapter Text

Tried making friends with the icons today.

I know, I know, I say I hate them-and I do!

But...

It'd be nice to talk to someone, y'know?

Anyway, didn't end well. Waved at Firefox who was with her friend that yellow guy, and they seemed scared at first like I'd try to hurt them or something.

See! They can't take a joke, can they? It's not like I killed them!

...not for real anyway.

Anyway, they noticed I was chained to the ball and my powers were switched off so they came up to me and um... Did I ever mention how big they are? Really really big, like towers.

After whispering to each other the yellow guy uh...hit me and I fell over. He kicked me a couple times in the back.

Then Firefox set me on fire and now I'm er...I'm hiding from them in the trashcan.

Been here for half an hour I think.

Dunno if they're still looking for me. Kind of scared.

My lip hurts where he punched me, it feels all tight and swelled. So does my eye.

Thankfully, the fire didn't hurt as much, as it's more the same kind as mine, and my own fire doesn't hurt me. Not much anyway.

I think I hear them coming back...

---

The animator seems to be in a good mood today. That means he won't punish me... at least I hope he won't.

He's drawing. I love watching him draw (When I'm not in trouble) from my corner of the tab, especially when he makes food.

He usually does little doodles of red apples and sometimes cake on the side of his drawings and forgets about them, then I quietly snatch them while he's not looking and shove it into my mouth.

I love the cakes he draws. They are colourless black outlines, with fat layers, creamy frosting in-between and swirly at the top. It’s really soft and sweet, and they melt in my mouth.

The cake is a slice but occasionally it's a full thing the size of my face.

Hope he makes one today.

He sets me down in my usual corner and switches to the paintbrush tool. I can't help but flinch, even though I know he's not going to hurt me...I think.

Thankfully, not too many pop ups come while he's in the drawing app, so there's not many things to do but sit. And sit. And sit.

---

God I'm bored. So bored.

I'm tempted to play with fireball again but... yeah no. Not again.

I shudder at the memory and push it away.

Instead, I form tiny ice cubes and pop them into my mouth, sucking them and spitting them out once they get too cold.

It was fun at first, but now my teeth hurt and my hands are numb.

I'm boooooored!

I roll onto my back and kick aimlessly in the air. Not sure why, but I'm very annoyed too.

The cursor moves somewhere in the background.

...What if I set fire to the page and burnt his whole drawing?

Oh my god NO! Where did that thought even come from??

He'd kill me! He'd throw me into a wall until my head snapped off and rolled across the floor and...uh...

What's he drawing anyway?

I look up and see some sort of room. It's got a lamp and a double sized bed that looks... really comfortable. And bouncy. Wonder how high I could jump on that?

The room has a small circular carpet in the centre, a little desk on the side and a couple of plant pots with long green leaves sprouting from them that look like a single wrong touch might break them.

I'm tempted to go check it out. Would be fun!

But...what if he gets mad?

What if I do something wrong?

Then again, there's nothing I can really do to make him mad if I'm careful, right?

And that bed looks so cosy!

Curiosity gets the better of me and I walk forward, one leg lagging behind from the chain and ball attached to my ankle. I think I’m getting better at walking with it now.

The cursor paused as it sees me. My heart pounds in my chest but I don't back down.

In the corner of my eye, I see the animator shift.

"Can I...S-sit on the bed please?" I ask timidly.

The cursor doesn't react.

I hesitantly point at myself, then at the bed which is surprisingly bigger than I thought, almost as tall as me.

The cursor moves towards me and I take a small step back.

It lifts me up and drops me on the bed.

I spring up into the air and fall back onto the mattress.

Woah...this is really, really bouncy!

I push myself onto my feet and start jumping as high as I can, the chain rattling madly around my ankle.

A giggle escapes my lips. This is fun!

The happy feeling comes back and makes my chest feel warm and jumpy…

Something inside me shifts.

The happiness melts away, leaving me with a hollow feeling in my chest.

I stop bouncing abruptly and sit down, staring at the floor below me.

The blankets and sheets are soft and warm, the material fluffy.

The last time I felt like this he tied me to a car and half my face's skin scraped off it, scars are still there.

Last time, it started like this and ended with me crying in the box.

Last time I had fun he hurt me.

Maybe I'm not supposed to have fun

...

Oh.

I hop of the bed and drop to the floor, slowly walking away, my mind a raging, confused mess of pain and uneasiness.

I move to my regular corner and sit there unmoving for what feels like an eternity, my eyes unblinkingly staring at the cursor colour in the room.

Don't know why.

It's almost like I'm expecting it to do something to me.

Eventually, the animator switches the pc off and leaves me in darkness.

I see him clamber onto bed and open up his phone. The sky outside his window is a wonderful purplish black, dotted with thousands of glowing, beautiful stars.

I do love the stars.

Maybe one day, I'll break out of this pc and out of that window. Maybe I'll fly up and up, higher and higher until I reach them. I'd float around in space and swirl aimlessly around the big moon, before getting tired and falling asleep on its big curve.

In YouTube video the animator watches, I see two humans playing with each other. They talk, and hug, and play with toys. I'd do anything for someone like that.

We'd play, and talk, and they'd finally be able to listen to me.

Sometimes...I wish I weren't alone. Most of the time actually.

I wish the animator didn't hurt me because... it's painful...and it hurts on the inside long after he's done it.

I wish I had someone to talk to, to tell them how lonely and...

How...How terrified I am...

I'm scared. Really scared.

I hate thinking about it because it makes me feel bad or ungrateful to the animator but I don't like it when he punishes me.

I don't even like him sometimes.

He's so big, and if he ever were to decide to erase me...I wouldn't be able to stop him.

My heart hurts all the time, throbbing in my chest like a deep cut that won’t heal. Sometimes it feels like it's bleeding, and my chest aches so much when it does.

Maybe I am ungrateful.

He's given me a home...and food...kind of...and he doesn't hurt me all the time.

I've heard stories of sticks whose animators beat them on regular bases, sometimes multiple times a day. I've seen pictures of their faces, bruised, bloodied and tear-stained, eyes wide and pupils permanently little dots. Their limbs are bent in odd angles and half their teeth are gone. Some have burns of their faces and eyes scarred, some don't even have eyes, just two empty, hollow sockets in their place.

...I wonder if I ever looked like one of them after a punishment.

I know I cry a lot, and I'm usually covered in blood too.

My limbs have never been pushed that far, thank God. And I still have both my eyes, and all my teeth, though one is broken.

I've heard some sticks were made to walk across sharp blades, and others forced into setting fire to their own friends.

...I... I should be happy I don't have an animator like that. I should be grateful.

I should be satisfied.

I should be good.

So why...why do I feel so sad?

Chapter Text

It's been a month or two since I was 'born'.

...Learnt how to read...kinda.

Found a free website online to read books and started reading one called Billionaire Boy. It's about this really, really rich kid called Joe that has everything he wants because his dad is super rich, but he never spends any time with Joe like he used to before they were rich. And Joe just wants a friend because he's really lonely and stuff...

I...I like it.

Haven't finished it yet.

Problem is, I can only read it when the animator's drawings or not at his desk. Can't read it in the box.

I get really bored in the box, so before I get sent there, I usually steal the animator's pen and draw a bunch of lines. Once he sends me there, I light the lines up on fire and use it as a sort of light source.

I make two ice cubes and play with them, pretending one is me, and the other is my friend called Sebastian, or Seb.

Sebastian isn't actually real though I wish he was.

Me and Seb like to have races, sliding the cubes as fast as they can go to the other end of the room. I talk to Seb, then pretend to be him and respond to myself.

It's a way to past the time.

---

"Hey Sebastian?"

I change my voice, making it deeper. Clutching Sebastian the ice cube, I make it shift it's angle. "Yes, The Chosen One?"

I move my own ice cube. "The animator hasn't punished me in a while...I'm afraid he'll hurt me soon, probably today or tomorrow."

I move his ice cube, making it jump up and down. "Why ever would you think that?"

My ice cube slides back nervously. "I don't know he...he just does that...once e-every week at least."

"He wouldn't hurt you for no reason-" I slam Seb down on the floor in an attempt to make him act more dramatic.

He shatters into a thousand pieces, chunks of him flying up and landing at the other end of the box.

Oh...oh no...

"Seb?" I whisper.

My own ice cube had started melting long ago, and now looks more like an oval than a cube.

I try putting Seb back together but the pieces won't stay in place, crumbling to the floor once I let go.

He's melting too, worse than my ice. In a little while, he'd be nothing more than a puddle.

Just like the rest of them.

I glance around the box, most of the floor covered in water.  The last line I have has almost burnt out.

The flame flickers and dies.

It's... quiet again. I don't want it to be quiet. I want to keep talking but I'm so tired. Making dozens of ice cubes had really taken the energy out of me.

I lie down again the floor and curl up. My fingers swirls in Seb's watery remains. It's so cold it makes my fingers go numb.

Anxiety pools in my stomach as I trace my tongue over my broken tooth.

I'm scared the animator will summon me in a bad mood. He always hurts me when he's in a bad mood. I'm not sure what I do that upset’s him, and I'm not sure how to stop him from hurting me when I do.

Last week, he tied my upside down to the top of the tab and swung me into the wall over and over. My head cracked open sightly. Lot’s of red blood.

It's healed now, but there's this very distinct jagged line you can feel if you press against it on my skull under my hair.

But if I'm really, really, reeeeeally good, then maybe he won't do anything?

---

I-I tried... My best...honest I did-!

...but I forgot...

Can't breathe properly.

Chest so tight.

I can hear blood rushing in my ears, heart thumping against my chest.

Both my arms are stretched high above my head, a chain attached to my wrists and to the roof.

It's a too high, forcing me to stand on my tip toes.

He was in a really bad mood today... Sat down to do his..his ho...homi...homiewurk?

That's what the page says at least. I think I was distracting him when I started playing with my electricity powers, electrifying the document a couple times.

I didn't mean to start playing I...I j-just forget I wasn't supposed to do that…

The cursor is staring at me. I avoid looking at it, my eyes lowered the white floor that would probably be red by the time this was over.

Maybe if I...I apologise he won't...won't do anything...?

That’s not going to work. Never does.

"Ple-please... please- I'm... I'm really s... Sorry," I start, my voice strained.

I kick in the air and try pulling myself up in the chain, making myself sway in the air. The chains make this clicky clang sound as they hit against each other

"I know... know I'm annoying and I...I d-deserve this but...but I-"

The cursor switches to an eraser.

My blood turns cold.

"N-NO! PL-PLEASE DON'T!" I wail, tears welling up as I struggle against the chains, straining and arching my back, kicking aimlessly in the air and causing the chain to sway wildly.

I don't want to die!

The tears always come before anything else, running down my face.

I think it's more out of fear then pain.

I hate the waiting. It's worse than the actual punishment, because the dread and terror eats you alive while you simply...wait. Just wait for everything to turn into pain.

The eraser slices through the air.

I shriek without thinking.

Something thuds onto the floor under me.

Wh...what was that...

Pupils trembling, I look down, bile rising to my throat.

A burning sensation covers my right hip where my leg-

...used to be.

Oh...oh g-god

It lies there on the floor now, lifeless, completely detached from my body.

Doesn't hurt as much as the other things but...my leg... My leg is on...on the floor...that's not...why is it...why can't I move...

"My... It's...I...I...what...why...wHY-AHHHHHHHH!" I scream, voice cracking.

Can't help it. It comes out automatically, and now I can't stop.

Tears stream down my face.

My...my leg...oh god my leg...

My vision blurs as I hear yet another horrible thump.

I sway sideways, now only held by one arm.

My heart sinks.

I try to not to look at the other arm swinging close to my face, suspended in the air by the chain, now detached from my shoulder too. It makes me want to be sick.

The same burning starts up in my shoulder, spreading down collar bone.

It feels horrible, as though lots of tiny needles stabbing through my skin and injecting me with acid over and over. Hurts.

If he doesn't fix me after... I'll never walk again...if I'm even still alive-NOIDONTWANNADIE!!!!

"STOP-P! ST-STOP IT! I'M SO-R-RY!" I choke on my own sob.

My whole body is trembling uncontrollably, my mouth as dry as a bone.

Never walk...or pick up anything properly again...I...I...

I hear another sickening thud.

Please...

So glad I didn't eat anything earlier, because if I had, I would have thrown up by now.

I'm not even sure where the pain is anymore, what part of me is missing now.

Everything is so hazy and the world's playing a crazy game of ring-a-rosies, spinning round and round.

I can hear screaming...my screams...and loud ugly gasps...I feel pain but it's...it's distant.

Still there but... not there at the same time…

My eyelids droop.

My heart slows. Everything fades to black.

---

It's really dark when I wake up.

My arm's back.

So’s my legs and whatever else he cut off.

...

My face is so wet

...

...Should be grateful he gave them back.

Most other sticks aren't so lucky.

At least there was no blood this time.

I sit up slowly and cup my trembling hands, lighting a small flame in them.

It makes my hands glow a soft orange and fills me with a sort of peace. The fire's warmth radiates across my hands, making me feel a little better.

Most sticks don't have powers.

Should read while I have the chance.

... I'm lucky to have a creator that...that... doesn't hurt me as much as others...?

He...he plays with me. Played. Twice. No other animations get that. I'm...I'm lucky.

And...And he's just tired...I'm...I'm sure he doesn't really mean to do this to me...and I am...am a-annoying...

I'm... I'm the bad one here... he's... he's trying to fix me...?...I...I...

...I don't know anymore.

The flames die in my palms as I burst out crying, burying my face in my hands.

I don't know I don't know I don't know!

I don't know why he's like this!

I don't know how to stop him!

I don't know why I'm bad!

I don't even know what bad is!

I...don't...I just...

I... want him... to...care about me.

Maybe... maybe this is care? Maybe this is how I learn?

What does he want from me? I'll do it! I'll do anything for him!  What'll make him happy?

I...I love my creator.

I love him so much.

I want him to be happy with me.

But how?

How? How how how HOW HOW HOW????

My sobs grow louder, nose starting to run.

I sniff and wipe the tears away furiously.

Tomorrow. Tomorrow I'll be good. I'll be so good he'll pat me on the head and play with me. I'll do everything he wants perfectly. I won't play. Won't do anything, just block ads and wait until I can help him with something.

He cares about me deep down right? That's why he hurts me?

Because he cares. That's why.

Why else would he do it?

Chapter Text

Sit straight. Don't move.

Don't move.

Don't move.

Pop up. Burn it.

Now don't move again

I'm a good animation.

---

He didn't...didn't notice.

I tried so hard...

That's o-okay!

Just...just wait for him to come back. In the dark. Alone.

...

Maybe I'll just...read for a while.

Yeah, that’s what I’ll do.

---

My eyes burn from staring at the page for so long.

I've managed to shrink the chrome tab so now it's like my own personal screen and I hide it behind the trashcan so the animator doesn't find it and delete it.

On it is my book, billionaire boy. I really like that book.

The main character, Joe, is really lonely just like me.

He finds it hard to make friends.

He's finally found a new one at school but they've gotten into a fight.

Wish they didn't fight.

I don't understand, why fight at all? Why fight when you're lucky enough to have a friend?

I wish I had a friend.

My head and back hurts from sitting cramped in the trashcan for so long.

I would rather like to sit somewhere else, but I'm afraid Firefox might see me and call her friend, who really despises me for some reason.

Though it is rather nice, the small, squished space. It makes me feel safe, hidden away and invisible with my book.

I think I'm getting better at reading.

And it's not homiewurk, it's homework! Still not really sure what that is but the animator seems to care about it.

Wish he cared about me the same way.

The lights flash on outside the trashcan.

He's back...

A tiny part of me groans.

I don't want to come out. I don't want to block ads. I don't want to sit there and do nothing for hours. I don't want to watch him rewrite the same word a thousand times. I don't want my arms to ache from lifting them up and down to block the ads. I don’t want to be smacked into a wall for zoning out.

I want to stay here and read.

I hear the cursor swoop above, looking for me.

Just as I'm about to climb out of the trashcan, an idea pops into my mind.

Why not just stay here? He won't know, and I could read all day!

I shake my head and jump out of the trashcan, cautious to make sure he doesn't see me.

If I want to be good, I can't do that.

I hop onto the taskbar and wait for him to pick me up and put me on the tab. Sure I could climb there myself but I like it when the cursor touches me when I'm not in trouble.  I like to pretend he's hugging me.

(Also, it's kinda hard to climb with this chain weighing me down.)

The cursor's hovering over the...

...the d...drawing tool, clicking it and opening a blank canvas.

Oh no... oh nononono

My breathing hitches, speeding up as my heart pounds against my chest, blood rushing in my ears.

H-he's not going to punish me a-again, is he???

Is that why he’s looking for me??

But I was b-being good!

The cursor flies towards me.

I stumble back and trip on the chain, crashing to the floor.

Nonono get up get upGETUP-

A whimper escaped my lips as I'm lifted off the floor and dropped into the drawing canvas.

I...I can't move...

My legs feel heavy, my mouth bone dry.

What did I do this time? I tried so hard to be good!

My hands start shaking uncontrollably as the cursor switches to a paintbrush.

My vision blurs. It's hard to think straight, my mind is in whirl of panic and confusion.

My lungs seemed to have shrunk, barely letting in any air.

I hear him drawing, the paintbrush making scratchy sounds against the canvas. I don't want to look in case it's something bad. Something that'll hurt.

Sniffing as my nose begins to run, I bite my lip to try and distract myself.

Please...please don't... don't hurt me...

...?

---

GUESS WHAAAAAT!

He made me a hoodie!

That's right! THE ANIMATIOR! He drew me my very own hoodie!

I'm so HAPPYEEEEEEHHH!!!!!

It's got a big white hood and it's mainly a pretty dark blue with a big grey zipper and hugeeeee pockets! I can fit both my hand in them and still have loads of room to wriggle them about!

I'm not entirely sure why he made it, kinda just chucked it at me, but I think he was practising drawing clothes or something.

Either way, it's mine now, all mine!

Something belongs to me! It's mine! IT’S MINE!

I slip my arm through the sleeve, then the other.

It's so warm! And fluffyyyy!!!!!

My heart jumps up and down and my tummy feels light and fluttery.

I can hardly believe I have a whole piece of clothing, I've always wanted something like this!

Clothes look so cool on people, especially on people like the animator.

He wears hoodies too, big black ones with white pockets, I'll look just like him!

The fabric is so smooth and soft, perfect for sleeping in-

Oh my god I can sleep in this! It won't be so cold in the box anymore!

I scramble to my feet and look down at the hoodie, hopping excitedly on one foot to the other. I can't keep still, I'm too happy!

It's a little baggy and loose, especially around my tummy and the sleeves are kinda too long but that's okay, I don’t mind!

I have a hoodieeeeee!

With pockets!

Wonder what stuff I can put in them-

The chrome tab.

If I shrink it enough I could hide it in there...OH MY GOD

I CAN READ IN THE BOX NOW! OHMYGODOHMYGODOHMYGOD

I'll have something to do in there!

THE ANIMATOR'S THE BEST!

How could I have ever not liked him?

He's just trying to fix me. And look what he does for me! I love him!

---

Something weird happened.

I heard loud sounds coming from outside the pc. It sounded like someone was yelling. Not the animator.

It was louder...and deeper. I think the person was swearing?

I...I didn't really like those sounds. It made me think of my own screaming while he hit me with that ball over and over and over and-

Sorry, off topic.

Anyway, another yelling sound came, then the animator burst through the door and slammed it behind him, locking it.

He looked upset. And angry. Really, really angry.

If I'm being honest I was absolutely terrified.

What if he turns on the pc and decides to take it out on me??

But strangely enough, he didn't, just stormed over to his bed, flopped down on it and screamed into the pillow.

I flinched when he did that, heart pounding loudly in my chest.

I was so scared he might come and turn on the pc to...do something to me like he usually would, so I uh...I hid in the trashcan.

Still here ehehe…

...Wish I brought the chrome tab with me in here, not really much to do besides talk to Sebastian.

And not to be rude but that gets boring pretty fast when I’m not in the mood.

‘Hey! >:['

Sorry Seb.

Tried playing with the ice cubes, but there's not really any space on the floor.

Even I can't fit here properly, my legs folded underneath me, barely enough room to stretch my arms out. The ball chained to me rests on my lap, making my legs tingle and now my feet feel numb.

...Really want to come out but...what if he turns the pc on suddenly?

He hasn't come in a while... maybe he's finally asleep?

...Should I?

Cautiously, I push the ball off my lap and wobble onto my feet, my legs feeling like jelly.

I peek up slowly and look around.

Everything's dark. Can hear some of the apps snoring.

Wow, night time already? How long was I hiding in there for??

I cautiously step a shaky leg out of the trashcan, then the other.

My hoodie sleeves are absolutely soaked at the ends from melted ice cubes and my face is covered in little crumbs of letters that I snacked on while hiding.

...Now what? Should I sleep?

But I'm not tired!

I drag the chain across the floor, not bothering to try and be quiet since nobody was around. The icons were all asleep, the animator's asleep, it's just me awake here.

Kinda like it like this...really peaceful.

Now would be a great time to read...that's what I'll do!

---

"What's this?"

I freeze, clutching the tab tightly in my hands.

That's...oh god, I thought he was asleep!

The tall yellow guy steps in where I was squished between the drawing tool and the writing tool on the toolbar. That's Firefox's friend, think his name is AOL.

He hates me.

His head seemingly floats above his roundish yellow body with no neck connecting them. His eyes gleam maliciously as he approaches me.

My tummy flips, eyes widening. I crawl back and press myself against the wall, staring at him warily.

Why is he so big? Why is everyone so big???

"Stuck?" He asked mockingly, nudging my chain with his foot. It rattled.

I bit my lip. "Go away," I mumble under my breath.

His eyes narrow towards the tab I have in my hands, then to me hoodie, zipper still open since I have no idea how to shut it, his eyes glowing a disturbing reddish-orange.

Without warning, a hand shoots out and grabs me by the scruff of my hoodie, lifting me up and slamming me against the wall.

"Mngh!" The tab clatters from my hands to the floor.

"Where'd you get that?" He demands, grip tightening, shoving his face against mine.

"W-what...?" I whisper breathlessly, a horrible feeling settling in my chest.

I want to fight. I want to run. I want to hide. But...but I can't...

"The clothes! Did Noogai make them for you??" He hissed.

"N...Noogai? Who... Do you mean the...the ani...animator?" I stammer, swinging my legs pathetically to try and kick him. They don’t reach.

"Did he???" He says through gritted teeth.

"I... Yes he-!"

WHACK!

"Owww!?" I cry, gripping the side of my smarting cheek from where he just backhanded me. Half my vision blackened for a moment.

Tears well up.

"W...why?" I gasp, my voice cracking, my bottom lip starting to tremble.

What did I do to him? Why was he so angry with me? I know he despises me, but he wouldn’t come looking for me just to hurt me…would he?  

"Obviously has to favour the spoilt brat," he mutters, letting go of my front. I crash down to the floor and yell in pain.

As soon as the sounds left my mouth, I was met with a sharp kick to my face, making me fall to my side.

Pain flares up, my already stinging cheek feeling as though it were on fire, the bones beneath them screaming from the impact.

I gasp out, my vision blurring with tears.

"Shut the hell up, or you'll wake everyone. You wouldn't want that, would you?"

He crouches down and grabs my face, squeezing my cheeks painfully and making them press against my teeth

An unintentional whine leaves my mouth as I try tugging away weakly.

Just made him squeeze tighter, glaring at me with sick triumph in his orange eyes.

Does...does he enjoy hurting me? Why?

"Listen to me brat," he growls, nails digging into my skin.

I whimper, the tears finally spilling, running down my face and dripping onto the floor.

Why do I always cry? So weak.

"Just to let ya know, I don't give a damn about what you do, but throw another fucking fireball at me or Firefox and I'll make sure you regret it, you understand? I’m so sick of hearing her whine about you. "

"I... I'm s.. sorry I-"

"Shut your goddamn trap," he snarls, releasing my jaw.

I breathe out in relief and press myself further against the wall, pulling my knees up to my chest and hugging them protectively.

"Pathetic."

His eyes skim down me, a look of disgust on his face.

It makes me want to fall through the ground in shame.

"Don't know why he won't just get a real ad-blocker. This one's broken" he spat, raising a fist.

I let out a half scream and hide my face in my arms, my body shaking, tears rolling down my face.

I brace for the punch.

It never comes.

I hear him scoff.

"Dramatic cry-baby."

His footsteps echo into the darkness. I dare peek out of my arms and don't see him.

He's gone.

Safe now.

I let out a sigh of relief, before bursting into silent sobs.

Even if I'm safe, I try to muffled the sounds as much as I can, case he hears them and comes back.

...I shouldn't have hurt Firefox and him...I didn't... didn't mean to hurt them...I just...I forgot they were alive too...and it was nice to take out my frustration on someone I...

God, I'm horrible.

I wipe away my tears and lie down, bringing my hand up to my mouth and biting the knuckles. It makes me feel better when I'm sad.

My cheek where he hit me feels painfully stretched and hot, I can already tell they’ll be a bruise there tomorrow. It hurts, still stinging.

I glance at my miniature tab, still open to the page I was reading. I shrink the tab even further to the size of my palm and pop it into my pocket.

It's safer there, hidden away.

My head hurts...so do my eyes...can feel them shutting on their own... really tired...

I sniff and roll onto my side, snuggling into the hoodie. It makes me feel warm.

Animator's so nice for making it for me.

Wish he wasn't so scary.

Chapter Text

“AHHHHHHHHHH!"

Red splatters across my front, staining my hoodie, turning the blue into a deep blackish navy as I fall to the floor, a piercing ache echoing across the side of my head.

I let out a muffled sob as I attempt to crawl away, only for the hammer half the size of me to slam into my arm.

CRACK

I fly to the side and crash into a white wall.

My vision blurs, flashing in and out of black.

M...my whole body h...hurts..s-so m...much...I...I can't...I... please stop it...I...I-

CRACK

"STOPPPP!" I wail, clutching my throbbing head with one hand, blood leaking through my fingers and rolling down my arms, staining them with little red streaks.

Tears streaming, I stretch out the other hand as though it would somehow stop him.

It didn't.

CRACK!

"MNAHH AH-AH-PLE-E-EASE! I'LL DO ANY-NY-EETHING! JUST S-STOPP!"

Blood spills from my mouth, spraying against the white floor. It leaves a horrible coating of copper at the back of my tongue.

The world swayed side to side, and there seems to be three cursors hovering over me, each holding that...that awful thing...

All three simultaneously raised the hammer.

Nonononono!

I scramble back, but the chain ball tugs at my foot, keeping me in place.

CRACK!

Pain. Back of my head. Sharp and shooting yet… it felt distant.

I can see stars.

They dance up and down across the ever-growing black, little circles of light bouncing up and down in the darkness of my fading vision.

They're...so...so beautiful...I...want...want to hold them...

My body collapses against the wet floor. Black floods my sight.

The stars start to fade.

No...no don't go...please don't go...please?

Everything turns black.

They're gone.

---

Se..second beating...today...that's not...he doesn't do two...in one day... How...how long was I asleep for?

I sit up slowly, head pounding furiously. My entire body aches.

The window outside shows it's around evening.

Been out for a few hours it seems.

I glance down and gasp in horror.

My hoodie...oh my poor hoodie...

The white has turned into a dirty reddish brown, the blue darker in patches then others.

It’s…it’s ruined…

For some reason, seeing my hoodie in such a state… it  hurt more than the actual pain.

The canvas I'm sitting in looks like someone splashed red paint everywhere. It's over the walls, smeared against the floor, stained against my clothes.

I bite my lip and try to ignore the strong smell of blood burning my nose.

It's never usually this bad...

I curl up into a ball and hug my knees close to my chest. Tears are brimming at the edge of my eyelids, making the room a blur of white and red.

He...he was in a really bad mood when he switched the pc on in the morning.

I rock back and forth slowly.

I...I didn't know he was and I...I ran to greet him because...I missed him and I was by myself for so long I was excited to see him but...but he...he grabbed me and threw me into a wall. And again.

Over and over. Don't... don't know for how long. Felt like...like forever.

I...I had felt so horrible. It felt like betrayal somehow.

Then he dropped me into the writing tool before starting work to block the pop ups. My hands were shaking so much I almost mis-aimed. So thankful I didn't.

Later he came back and...and he opened up the drawing tool and...did this to me and left and...I...I...I'm so confused. What...what did I...? I didn't do anything...he...he just started hitting me...for no reason...

Why...?

I cough, and the sickening taste of copper fills my mouth. I spit and more red stains the floor

My fingers and palms are sticky with it, leaving red handprints all over my knees.

My legs look... really bad...

They hurt so much, like the bones inside them cracked into a million pieces... they're a mis-coloured mess of black, blue, green and purple, and my left ankle’s swollen up like a balloon, skin tight around it and itchy.

Everything... everything hurts so much...how do I make it stop? I...I don't understand...

Why?

I sniff, the tears spilling. Wipe my bloody hand across my face, smearing red against it.

A thought hits me, making my blood turns cold.

What if he comes back?

My heart sinks.

I attempt to stand up but come crashing back to the ground with a stifled cry of pain.

Can't walk

He could come back any minute! Hide somewhere!

I try standing up again. Pain shoots through my ankle and I fall back down again.

My bottom lip starts to tremble as I hear sounds from outside the pc.

The slam of a door.

Oh god he's angry

Loud footsteps echoing closer.

N-NO! I...I CAN'T! NOT...NOT AGAIN!

My arms act on their own, pulling my body across the floor towards the end on the tab.

My breathing quickened as I hear the creak of him sitting into his chair.

I fling myself out of the tab and land with a crash into the floor below. Ignoring the pain radiating across my back, I drag myself over to the toolbar and hid behind one of the apps.

S...safe...safe now....

He can't see me from here...right?

My eyes dart up to the cursor that appeared in the middle of the screen.

I clamp a shaking hand over my mouth to stifle the scream, curling into myself on the floor and staring at it with wide eyes.

I can hear it looking for me…

My heart is pounding so hard I’m sure he can hear it, my mouth dry in terror.

Cantseemeimsafeimsafeimsafeimsafe-

Something shiny catches my eye, sticking out in the open.

Oh god...

I forgot to hide the chain and ball!

Frantically, I try hiding it by pulling it in, my clammy hands slipping against the smooth metal-

Click.

My world flips.

I'm upside down, hanging up in the air by my ball.

Fear has me in a choke hold. Can't move.

Can't breathe.

"Please... please don't!"

Maybe... maybe he's just here to work and needs me as an adblocker?! Yeah, that’s why! Dontpanicdontpanicyourfinefinefinefine-

It throws me back into the drawing canvas. I scream as I hit the ground, my bruised legs crumpled underneath me in agony.

I fall onto my back and the tears automatically well up, the sheer terror overwhelming me.

I don't want to be beaten again!

The cursors shadow falls over me.

I freeze.

It's...it's holding that hammer again.

Oh no.

Oh no oh no ohnoNONO!

"WAIT!" I scream hoarsely.

The hammer’s raised.

I can't stop myself. Before I know what I'm doing, my hands burst into flames and throw it at him.

The fire bounces off the cursor effortlessly and burns the hammer to ashes.

'00'

Oh...oh dear god what have I done????

"I'M SORRY I'M S-SORRY I-I DI-DN'T M-MEAN TO!" I stammer, as though it might make things better.

The animator glares at me through the screen.

I shrink into myself, whimpering pathetically.

If he wasn't already angry, he is now.

A new hammer appears, twice the size of the last one.

Bile rises to my throat.

I messed up

---

I think...I think I like the colour red... See it so much now...

It's...it's weird how...how everything... everything’s spinning... Like they’re playing musical chairs...I think I’d like to… to play too-Where did I find out what musical chairs are…?

I...I think I'd enjoy the spinning if...if my legs weren't broken...and if...if I weren't swaying upside down by a rope on my ankles...and if maybe... maybe if the pain would stop for a moment...this would be fun...

This...this isn't...isn't so...so bad, It's.. better than...what the other sticks go through...right?

Why... why is my mind so...so slow...?

Why can't I think... properly?

It... it's night-time... he's...he's asleep ...been asleep for a while, I...I dunno how...how long it's been since he punished me...I think maybe an hour? Two? Five? I don’t remember honestly.

Been stuck... upside-down...and everything... everything is fuzzy....

I tried... tried to fight him...

Not...not doing that again heh heh...

I think he hates me... that...that hurts...my heart...wished he didn't... because... because...

?

-I...I... I'm tired... think...think I might... might close my eyes for a while...

---

Back in the box.

It's the next day, night time. But... I'm... I'm so confused.

I cup my hands together and spark a tiny fire in-between them, watching the orange flames lick against my fingers. It feels nice. It's shadows dance against the empty wall, shifting and merging into one another.

The animator...he hurt me so much but...but he was so nice after...I...I don't understand...

In the morning he untied me and he healed me... erased the injured parts and made new ones and he...he picked me up and gently placed me in the writing tab.

Gently. Didn't throw me.

I accidentally messed up my aim because my hands were shaking so much while burning a pop up.

My heart stopped and I started crying almost immediately.

 I was terrified, pressing against the wall as the cursor approached, hovering over me. I was sure he was going to punish me but he...he gave me a head pat???

I...I... don't-

Head pat???

Why???

"Seb?"

The flames die in my palm and I make a little ice cube for Seb.

I bob him up and down. ‘Yes the chosen one :)?’

"Does the animator love me?"

"Why, of course he does dear."

The ice cube smashes to the floor.

My heart pounds against my chest as I turn my head wildly.

Did I...Did i imagine that or was that real?!

"S-Seb?" I whisper, a fireball forming in my hand and jumping to my feet.

Nothing.

I don't like this....

I... I wanna come out.

Please.

It’s too dark… too small…

I clutch my head, hands digging through my hair.

Let me out. Let me out. Let me out.

Let me out. "LET ME OUT!"

I scream, thumping my fists against the wall.

"ANIMATOR! NOOGIA! LET ME OUT! PLEASE!"

Sobs burst from my lips as I sink onto my knees, hitting the wall weakly.

"Please...let me...me out..." My hands slow.

"Please..." A tear drips to the floor, my arms falling to my side.

I collapse onto the ground.

"I'm... I'm scared creator...." I whisper, wrapping my arms around myself, sobs wracking through my chest.

"I... I need you."

Silence.

He's not coming.

He's not coming.

He's not coming.

For some reason, I want to laugh. And cry.

I burst into tears, slowly crying myself back to sleep.

He’ll…He’ll listen to me one day…right?

Chapter Text

The floor's so hard.

I hate blocking pop ups.

 So boring.

Another one appears on the screen. I sigh and raise my hand to burn it, absentmindedly skimming the first sentence.

Don't know why I do that, the ads are usually about new vacuum cleaners, clothes or other useless things. Guess it's better than doing nothing.

-wait...

I squint harder.

Huh...

I pause, fire burning in my palms.

'Would you like your stick figures to have friends to avoid loneliness, but are concerned by the dangers of sending them to the outernet?

Visit www.makeanouternetonlinefriend, where your creations can digitally converse and interact with others stick figures on the outernet, ensuring that they are always kept happy and safe over video calls and messages.'

I read it again. And again.

Outernet?

What's that?

And...and friend? As in…another stick?

Does that mean... I could...I could have a frie-

Click

Bang!

I gasp as the cursor releases me, my back throbbing from it slamming me into the wall.

Fumbling with my hands, I start a flame and shoot it towards the pop up.

It burns, before quickly dissolving into ash.

...took too long you idiot.

My back bones hurt. Can already feel bruises forming.

The cursor resumes its work, moving up to the word document and typing.

---

...

...

...

... Really quiet in the box today.

Well, it's always quiet but er...even more quiet than usual.

I would play with Sebastian but I'm scared he might…might start talking for real again.

I've finished my book.

The ending...it was happy. I was happy at the end too. Happy-sad.

Joe ran away...to his friend’s house (yes, they became friends again) because he thought his dad didn't love him, but his dad was upset he left and made a speech on television begging him to come back.

Joe did come back.

In the end, Joe had a friend and a dad who loved him and gave him attention just like he wanted.

They hugged.

I...I cried.

Not sure why, it was just so...so touching I...I was happy but I was sad too.

Wonder what it feels like... A hug that is. Wonder how the arms feel as they wrap around you. Do they feel safe? Or suffocating? Is it pleasant? Warm? Or cold? Lifeless like a cursor?

What would a cursor’s hug be like if it had arms?

...wish I had something like that.

There I go being ungrateful again.

I'm lucky the animator puts up with me. Any other would have deleted me ages ago. I'm annoying. I'm bad. I'm useless. I'm a waste of space.

I'm lucky to have him.

My mind wanders back to the pop up I saw in the morning.

Can't stop thinking about that, it's stuck in the back of my head.

I pull out the tab from my pocket and type in the website link.

Should I really be doing this? What if the animator doesn't like-

There it is.

I press it without hesitation.

A long text appears:

Our mission is to provide fun and safe interactions between computer sticks and biological, outernet stick figures.

We believe that every stick deserves to have a life with their own kind, outside their pc.

However, not every animator is (understandably) comfortable in letting their precious animations loose into the real (to the sticks at least) world.

That's where we come in.

Our website provides communication between computer and outernet sticks through messaging and video calls.

Sign your beautiful creations up today for free, and be sure to put in your sticks age if they are young, so we can match them in appropriate ways. Make sure to check who your stick is contacting with to keep it age appropriate, and we wish you and your stick figure a happy day.

I re-read it, then triple read it to make sure it was real.

Does this mean I could have a real...real friend?

Huh.

...

...HUH.

I WANNA SIGN UP

Wait- how on earth do I do that?

I groan and lean my head against the wall.

So much for having a friend.

I'll find a way to do it somehow.

I have to.

Just think- a real friend! A stick like me!

---

I'm giggling uncontrollably

He's playing with me! Actually playing!

The cursor tosses another small circle at me.

I spit out flames.

The circle burns instantly.

I hop up and down excitedly, clasping my hands together, and laughing as he draws yet another circle, throwing it at me.

Flames shoot from my mouth.

I miss.

Oops-

Bonk!

I'm sitting all of a sudden, an ache echoing through my forehead and the world's spinning slightly.

Scrambling back onto my feet, I stretch my hands out and shoot flames as far as I can, burning all the circles he had aimed at me.

"YES! I WIN!" I shout happily, clapping my hands and jumping up and down.

The cursor moves down.

I flinch as he comes close to my face and...pat me on the head?

I stare up at it, eyes widening with surprise.

What…?

Does winning mean he'll give me head pats? Really want more

Is he...happy with me?

I... I like his pats.

They make me feel warm and fuzzy.

They make me feel good.

They make me feel like maybe I'm not such a bad stick.

Click

Click

Everything turns black.

I blink.

What?

Oh…

Back in the box.

"Wait-" I start, crawling towards a wall and thumping my fists against it loudly.

"Bring me back! We were having fun!" I wail.

"Did I do something wrong? I'm sorry! Please let me come out!" I cry hopefully, voice cracking.

Nothing.

I pause, my hands still pressing against the wall.

"So...so you'll let me out soon, right? Then we play again, right? Right???"

I chuckle nervously.

Yep. That's what's happening. He'll let me out in an hour. Course he will.

‘And if he doesn't? {:(’

HE WILL SEBASTIAN.

Because... because if he doesn't, I don't know what I'll do.

Probably cry like I always do.

‘:(’

---

With nothing else to do, I somehow managed to figure out how to sign myself up onto that website.

Dunno how.

Took ages.

I stare at the homepage, my fingers tingling with excitement. Pictures of happy sticks together were displayed everywhere.

I'm...I'm going to have a friend.

The realisation kicks in.

I'm going to be a friend!

I let out a laugh.

Before tears well up and spill.

I'm going... going to have a friend. A real one...

Someone like me...

I could... talk to them...

And they'd... listen...and actually respond...I...I can't believe this!

I brush the tears away and hug the tab to my chest.

Don't mind if the animator doesn't come anymore. It doesn't matter.

I glance at the tabs glowing screen again, overwhelmed with joy.

I won't be alone anymore!

I pause, tears still stinging at the back of my eyes.

I won't…won’t be alone...anymore...

Chapter Text

I...I don't feel good.

My head hurts like someone's swinging a hammer against it from the inside. My eyes are heavy, whole-body aches when I move, even just a little bit.

Face is so hot it almost burns when I touch it.

What's...what's wrong with me?

I force my eyes open and lick my cracked lips.

So tired but I can't...can't sleep cause... My head hurts...

Why do...do I feel so...so dizzy?

My eyes droop and I curl up on the box's black floor, my short, messy hair falling across my eyes.

Usually it's bouncy and kinda curled at the end, but now it's limp and floppy.

Bringing a hand to my mouth, I chew around the knuckles a little harder than usual, teeth digging into the skin, leaving light bite marks over them.

I clutch the hoodie wrapped around me tighter.

I'm so...so cold

But I'm so hot too...

It doesn't make sense I- I don't understand!

What's going... going on??

...Something wet rolls down my cheek.

Why...why am I crying?

My nose starts running. I sniff and wipe it on the edge my sleeve.

Nothing even...even happened...I'm not injured...not bleeding but...but everything still hurts...

Pop!

Thump

"Mngh..."

My back hits the floor. It hurts much more than usual.

I slowly sit up and blink drowsily, trying to figure out what this place was, my back radiating pain.

He's summoned me in the canvas.

I don't really like this place...it makes me nervous...

Swoosh

I don't bother looking up, heart already sinking.

Click

I let the cursor drag my limp body to my usual corner, body too weak to fight it. Not that I would fight, I'm a good stick now.

Though... honestly I don't know how I'm going to make it to the end of the day....I feel terrible... Don't know if I can even muster enough energy for fire.

He thankfully places me on the floor gently and flies back up to resume drawing.

I'm glad he's drawing and not writing.

There's always very little pop ups, if not, none at all in here, compared to the constant flow of pop ups in the writing tool.

It's fun to watch him draw too, fascinating how each line connects with another, working together to form a big, beautiful picture at the end, to watch as it slowly gets better and better.

The animator...or Noogai I guess? Is such a good artist. He's so cool.

I slump over my knees and my hot eyes shut.

So tired...

Coughing weakly, I try to keep my head up and focusing on what the animator is drawing but everything keeps blurring. The dizziness doesn't help.

---

I dunno how long I can do this...and it's barely been half an hour. Couldn't sit for too long cause my head started pounding so I lay down on the hard floor.

My head's gotten so much worse, it's got horrible stabbing pains and throbbing and now my throats started feeling all scratchy and raw. Tried nibbling on an ice cube to make it go away but it's gotten even worse, so hot and inflamed I can barely speak.

The world is swaying nonstop.

Can't focus on anything.

Don't really remember why I'm here.

Oh yeah...burn pop ups.

Haven't seen one in ages-

Is that one?

Why is there an icon flying in the distance?

Which icon is that?

Oh wait- the pop up!

The cursor hovers in the centre of screen expectantly.

I bolt upright and fumble with my hands, trying to spark a flame.

A small one flickered and died.

No!

I try again, my breathing turning into frantic gasps.

C’mon pleasepleaseplease!

He's going to get mad if I don't hurry up

A larger flame appeared.

I signed in relief.

Stretching my arm back as much as I can manage, I aim at the fuzzy pop up.

Something catches my eye as I'm throwing.

A fuzzy, flying red icon.

Who is...-

The direction of my flame changes.

Oh-

OH GOD WAIT-

Boom!

I hear a bloodcurdling screech, followed by my flames engulfing the icon.

It howls in pain and whizzes off behind the tab, leaving a trail of grey smoke behind it.

"I'm sorry! I...I didn’t... Wait!" I croak as loud as I can, voice cracking.

What did I do??

Who was that?

I hurt them...god, I hurt them!

I collapse to the side, whining, my head feeling like it's going to explode.

Tears well up to their own according. I don't want to cry. There isn't even a reason to cry.

Just...just so tired...don't have the energy to stop them from spilling.

How do I fix this? Can I even fix this??

Hiding my burning face under my arm, I sob into my sleeve, my teeth chattering and body trembling.

So cold....

Click

I freeze.

My heart jumps up to my mouth.

The blurry ground shrinks beneath me, my head lolling to the side as the cursor drags me up by the back of my hoodie.

I whimper.

Is he mad? He's gonna hurt me, isn't he?

"N...no..." I whisper, kicking weakly.

OhgodpleaseicanticanticantICANT

The world sways.

The lights are too bright... getting dimmer...

What...what's happening?

I can feel my heart slowing.

Everything seems to happen in slow motion.

I'm... tired...

Everything goes black.

---

"Acho!"

I sniff.

Why is everything....soft?

Why is the floor bouncy?

Why am I comfortable?

I force my eyes open and blink slowly.

This isn't...isn't floor-

It's...it's a bed?

I sit up slowly, head still spinning slightly.

I'm in a bed...tall one with a fluffy white pillow that feels like clouds, and a puffy red blanket that makes me feel so...warm.

Eh??????

I jolt as scratchy sounds come from above me.

The cursor's there, still sketching what seems to be a bird.

He...he made me a bed...?

I...what? Why?

I sneeze again, making a sudden piercing pain erupt through my skull.

I cry out and clutch my head as hard as I can.

Laying back down, I watch the animator through half lidded eyes finished the sketch and start on the linear.

He...he made me a bed and he...he didn't hurt me...

...maybe he really does care...?

I thought pops up, making my blood turn cold.

Who did I shoot?

...that howl...the red...that was...Firefox...oh no

My lungs turn into tiny air bags, refusing to take in more air. Ropes seem to tightened around my neck.

 I scramble at my hoodie's front, gasping for air.

I think I'm drowning

He's going to kill me

How am I drowning???

Him and Firefox

Why can't I breathe??

They'll beat me to a pulp

The lights...too bright!

Then they'll kill me

My vision blurs for a moment.

Cantbreathecantbreathecantbreatheimgoingtodie

Imgonnadiegonnadiegonnadiediedie-

It...stops?

My lungs expand, the ropes disappear.

I lie there, wheezing, tears streaming like rivers on my face.

My hand automatically goes up to my mouth. I bite on it hard...I don't know why.

What...what just happened??

My teeth sink deeper.

Why couldn't I breathe?

It’s happened before but never like this!

Why-ouch!

I hiss and release my jaw from my knuckles, leaving bloody red bite mark over my right hand. Parts of the teeth marks had opened up in several places, flooding the area with red.

I hold my hand up and stare at it.

Did...Did I do that?

My hand starts to tremble.

Why did...did I do that?

The blood rolls down the back of my hand, leaving dirty red streaks. The bleeding parts sting, a tingling sensation going through my hand.

It hurts yet...I...I don't mind

It's almost calming somehow.

Red drops stain the pillow.

Oh...oh dear

I dart a glance at the animator, still engrossed in his work, and lift my head, quickly flipping the pillow before he sees.

He might be mad if he sees.

My eyes move down to the bed I lay on, the pillow my head rested on. I pull my sleeve over the bite mark, hiding it.

I...I don't understand?

Why would he- how did he know- why am I not being punished for mis-aiming?

He made this bed directly under his drawing, the cursor’s shadow falling across me every now and then as he colours in his picture.

Before I know what I'm doing, I sit up and move to the edge of the bed.

Woah... It's quite a long fall...

The floor seems to stretch far beyond me. I can't actually be this hight, right?

I swallow my nerves and, swinging both legs over the edge, I hold my chain ball and slip off the bed.

Oh-

Oh this is high-!

THUMP

"Ngh!"

My legs buckle as soon as they hit the floor, making me fall into my hands.

My palms burn from the impact, knees throbbing.

That was...higher than I th-

Click

Something lifts me into the air and drops me back on the bed.

Huh?

I sit and stare up at the cursor, who was a few feet away from me and seemed to be holding something at the end of its pointy tip.

A black selection box hovering around the item.

The item looked like a white semicircle, big as my fist and steam drifted above of it.

I think...I think it's a bowl??

The cursor moves towards me.

I flinch back, hands raising automatically to shield my face.

It pushes the bowl against my hands.

Er...?

"Do I....take it?" I ask cautiously.

No response.

He won't be mad if I do take it, right?

Hesitantly, I cup my hands around the warm bowl and take it from the cursor, waiting nervously for its reaction.

The cursor moves back a little.

Okay. Not in trouble yet.

There's this yellow liquid inside the bowl, with little green circles floating in it and orange squares.

I glance back up at the animator.

The cursor stares expectantly.

What do I...what does he want me to do?

My heart beats faster.

Inwardly, alarms are screaming frantically inside my head.

What do I do? Why is he looking at me like that? What does he want? Will he punish me if I   don't respond???

Maybe I need to...touch it?

Slowly, keeping my eyes fixed on the animator, I put a finger in the liquid.

Hothothothot!

"-Ow!" I yelp.

I yank my hand out of the hot liquid and flap it in the air, before sucking my throbbing finger in my mouth.

A deep chuckle echoes through the pc.

I pause, looking at the animator in shock.

Did he...Did he just laugh?

The cursor moved forward and selected the bowl in my hands. It pulls it from my hands and raises it up to my face, pushing it against my mouth, tilting it up slightly.

A little bit of liquid trickles down my sore throat.

Oh...Oh wow

He tilts it a little more, letting a steady trickle down my throat.

Oh wow this is nice!

I snatch the bowl and grip it tightly, tilting it up farther and chugging the entire bowl down in one go. Warm, sweet liquid runs down my raw, aching throat, soothing the pain.

I lick around the edges of the bowl, notice the orange squares and green circles. I stick my hand in the bowl and scoop them out, gulping them down too.

Letting out a small sigh, I fall back against the head rest and gaze up the animator's face through the screen.

My breath hitches.

He's... smiling

He's happy Sebastian! Look, he's happy with me!

' :) that's fabulous The Chosen One'

I KNOW!

My eyes slowly fall shut on their own.

I don't feel so bad anymore....my throat doesn't hurt as much...and my headaches gone... Feel a little sick though... probably shouldn't have drank that so fast...

The animator... He made me better...he laughed at me...he smiled... Like he cared!

Maybe he does care!

Maybe I'm not so bad anymore!

'He is being lenient with you. Any other animator would not have been so generous.'

I know I know but he...he smiled at me Seb!

Actually smiled...

He's not so scary when he smiles.

It almost makes me feel safe.

Chapter Text

Something roughly yanks my hair, tugging me out of bed.

I crash a heap on the floor on my hands.

Wha-?

Crack!

"Mngh!?"

A sharp pain echo’s through my ribs, and I roll to the side from the impact.

Was that a kick??

A fuzzy yellow figure stands over me.

My heart stops. Blood turns to ice.

Oh nonononoplease!

A yellow hand grabs the front of my hoodie and holds me high up in the air, my feet dangling uselessly above the floor.

I claw at the hand.

Slap!

I whimper, hands falling limp to my sides, half my face stinging.

His orange eyes glare into mine, fire gleaming inside them.

"I didn't... didn't mean to- I-I swear!" I stammer, voice quaking in fear.

"Shut it bitch," AOL growls, grip tightening. I choke, resisting the urge to scratch at his hands again.

"I told you not to fucking bother us."

"I'm sor-sorry! D-Don't hit me!" I plead, holding back the tears brimming in my eyes.

He chucked me to the ground.

My back cracks against the canvas's solid floor, pain blossoming across my spine.

I scramble backwards on my hands, his grip still burning into my skin under my hoodie.

Strangely, he doesn't follow like expected, just watches me with this sick gleam in his eyes.

Immediately I brace myself for a surprise attack.

But he doesn't... doesn't do anything? Just stands there and...he smirks?

"I didn't mean to hit her I...I mis-aimed I...I...I'm sorry-"

"Oh I know you're sorry now. You're about to be anyway."

He paused, and tilted his head up.

"Smell that, bitch?" He asked, giving me a cruel smile.

I freeze.

The air smelt weird like.... like smoke...where was that coming from....? Upwards-

No. No-they wouldn't!

His grin widens as he points up at the canvas, where the animator had been drawing.

"Oh g...god..." I whimper, chest tightening. My hands start trembling uncontrollably.

"Wh...what did you do??"

His bird...the one he spent hours drawing was...was gone.

Whatever was left if it was engulfed in flames, grey smoke looming above it.

Please...this isn't real...please let this be a dream...

"N-no this isn't...you wouldn't...he...you...we can fix this right??" I gasp, struggling to breathe. My vision's swimming with unshed tear.

I hear a chuckle.

He's laughing.

Laughing.

"Firefox did a good job making it look like you did it, no?"

My breath hitched. "W...what..."

Panic flared up in my chest.

The animators going to-

"We need to fix this!" I whisper loudly, scrambling to my feet.

AOL kicked me back square in the chest.

I thump back to the ground, landing on my back.

I stare at him, eyes widening.

The animator could log on any minute! We don't have time!

"Please! Y-yo-you don't understand h-he-"

"Oh I understand."

"I understand you don't want him to punish you like the brat you are."

He scowls. "You sicken me. Harass others and expect to get away with it too."

"Anyway," he sneers. "What's the worst he's gonna do to his favourite little toy? Lock ya up?"

Bile rises to my throat.

"Nononoyoudontgetit! He's-"

Slam

The door.

He's coming.

Oh god he's coming

AOL notices, curses and hops off the tab.

I try to follow but the chain keeps me back. My hands are shaking so hard I can't tug on it to move.

I'm...I'm stuck.

"Pleasepleasepleasedontleaveme!" I shriek, tears spilling.

AOL raised an eyebrow, taken aback by my tone.

"Please, he'll kill me..." I whisper, staring at him.

Something in his eyes shift. His expression changed from sneering to confused.

The animator's going to beat me. He's gonna kill me.

I'm going to die. I'm dead dead dead.

AOL quickly jumps onto the taskbar where the animator couldn't see it, but I could.

He left me.

Course he would.

Dunno why I thought he wouldn't.

Just...just thought maybe...

No. Why would he help me? He hates me.

The cursor appears in the centre of the screen.

It moves before jerking to half in front of the empty canvas.

My head feels light, like I'm floating.

I can't think straight.

I think I'm crying. My cheeks feel wet.

My body's shaking so hard I can't keep balance and almost fall to my side.

Looking up, I see the animator scowling through the screen.

He glares at me, rage in his eyes. His fist tightened around the mouse.

I almost faint.

My heart pounds faster, blood rushing in my ears.

"I... I'm sorry..." I croak.

I clamp my eyes shut and hide my face in my hands.

It didn't work before but maybe... maybe he won't see me-!

Something cold clicks against my arm.

The cursor.

Help

I cry out as it yanks me onto my feet and drags me to the centre of the canvas. I try resisting, pulling back with all my strength but it's too strong, jerking me forward so hard I trip. My feet scrape against the floor, the chain clinking as he lets go suddenly, making me fall onto my hands.

My heart sinks as I hear the awful sound of him switching to a paintbrush, the scratching noise of it drawing fills the air.

'At least he's not erasing you, right?'

'Right? :)'

R...right Seb...ba..astian...

I want to run. I want to run so bad but I can't.

Not with this chain. Even without the chain, my legs feel like jelly. No way I'd be able to escape before he catches me. Even if I could, where would I go?

I don't know what I'm supposed to do.

Can't run.

Can't talk.

Can't explain it wasn't me.

Can't hide.

It's... it's hopeless.

I hide my face into my hands and sob quietly, the panic overwhelming me.

How do I...how do I even stop him??

I didn't...I didn't do this!

How do I tell him??

I...I can’t-!

CRACK

Pain shoots through my cheek. I think the bone dented.

I crash to my side.

A fiery line of pain blooms from my ear to just below my eye, throbbing in absolute fire.

A shadow fell upon me.

I feel sick.

"WAIT PLEASE-!" I attempt to crawl away.

CRACK

"AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!"

A line of fire across my back too now. The bones throb deep beneath the skin, like bruises.

Rolling onto my back to protect the injury, my eyes dart up to see the cursor, holding some sort of line a little bigger than me, thicker than my arm, grey and shiny.

I swallow as it comes down again, giving up on trying to avoid it, raising my arms, covering my face.

CRACK

"MNGAHHH!!"

On my forearms. They feel like they've snapped in two.

CRACK

Face again. Choked on my own scream.

CRACK

Right ankle.

CRACK

Lower back.

CRACK

I think my lips split. Taste blood.

CRACK

It hurts.

CRACK

It hurts.

Stop.

CRACK

Stop.

CRACK

Stop.

CRACK

Stop.

CRACK

"ST-STOP-P-P!" I scream, red spilling down my mouth.

CRACK

So much...pain...I can't...I can't I can't I can't

"IT W-WA-WASNT ME!"

He doesn't listen to you, idiot.

CRACK

I CAN'T PLEASE

I sob harder."WH-WHAT DON'T YOU-UNDERSTAND??"

CRACK

"IT HURTS! STOP! ‘M SORRY!"

CRACK

"I'LL BE GOOD! JUST STOP!"

CRACK

"PLEASE!-"

CRACK

"NGH-! I PROMISE! ISWEARI'LLBEGOO-!"

---

I curl up tighter, covering the back of my head with my bleeding, bruised hands. I think their starting to swell.

"St...sto...stop...I...plea... please..."

Can't..make much more noise than that anymore. Throat hurts too...much. I think the insides of...of it must have torn open by all the...the screaming…

I have to force my eyes to stay open, the world flashing back and white.

Every...thing is fuzzy, a...a mix of re...d and wh...ite.

Not sure if...if the red is...is my blood or s...something else but...pain...so mu...much... pain...

Burning.... throbbing pain every...where...

My bones are...are shattered...

In the corner of my eye, I see AOL staring at me.

I don't look at him. I can't.

He did this to me.

I hate him.

I hate him so mu-

CRACK

"Stoooop..." I whine, my fingers burning, the bones feeling as though they had snapped.

My forehead presses against the wet floor, sobs wracking through my body, shaking through my chest and burning my punctured lungs.

S...Seb...I... can't- I really can't do this.

'It'll be okay, just hang on a little longer :) '

CRACK

.__. ._.. . ._ ... ./

'He's almost done dear.'

.... . ._.. .__./ __ ./ ... . _.../

CRACK

.__. ._.. . ._ ... ./

../ ._ __ / ... _._. ._ ._. . _..

'Shut your eyes.'

... . _.../ .__. ._.. . ._ ... ./

CRACK

'Go to sleep dear. It's okay.'

'You've been punished enough.  Rest now'

O...Ok...

My eyelids droop shut. Body goes limp.

Everything turns to a hazy black.

__ ._ _._ ./.. _/ ... _ ___ .__.

Chapter Text

Someone’s touching my shoulder.

I twitch, my eyes flying open.

A large, blurry yellow figure crouches over me.

He's saying something...not sure what...

Who...who is that?

I attempt to sit up but a wave of burning agony overcomes me.

I gasp and lay back down, turning my gaze back to the yellow guys very...very pretty eyes....

I think...I think the colour’s orange...I like orange...it's pretty like jewels...looks a bit like red...

Speaking of red... Why is there so much...all over the floor? And dried on my hands? And legs? And... this hoodie...? Where...why do I have clothes? Where...where did they come from?

What is this red stuff? Why does it smell so strong?

And who is this yellow man? Why is he touching my shoulder?

"Hel...looo..." I say drowsily, giving him a sloppy grin.

Why is he looking at me like that?

His eyes are all wide...and those pretty orange dots are so small...

"Soo...w...who 're you? Whe...where are we?" I ask wincing, my voice slurred.

My mouth hurts. Feels really wet... especially around the corners.

"Kid I...I..." He swallows.

"What ...what the...actual....he...he fucking- what the hell- he-"

I giggle, before crying out, a sharp pain stabbing through my ribs like a knife.

"Argh- shit! I-I- dont m-move idiot! The hell are you laughing at you psycho!?" He stammers, a strand of his golden hair falling over his panicked face. His hands hover over me wildly, like he wants to touch me but doesn't know where.

I half grin at him, despite my lips skin splitting open wider

"Yo...you sai...d a...a baaaaad woord...twoo bad worrrds," I chuckle, softer this time.

He stares at me, mouth opening and shutting, like he was trying to talk.

"Y'knooow.... yelloow looks reeeeeally bad on...on you" I smile again, blinking slowly. "Co...could you...stop spinning ple...please? I think my bones are...are on fire," I giggle again. Dunno why… everything is just...just so funny!

Even though nothing is!

Everything hurts!

Why is that funny!? What’s wrong with me??  

He looks disturbed. Why?

"What...what is wrong with you...?" He whispered, recoiling slightly.

"Mm....dunno..." I blink slowly. The stars are back, floating up over my head.

I'm glad.

Lifting a hand, I try to reach one, before gasping out as agonizing pain runs through my arm.

"The hell are you doing????" He yells frantically.

He grabs my wrist.

My sleeve falls to my shoulder. exposing my entire arm.

"What...what on..." He stares at my arm, looking like he might be sick.

It looks...weird.

Swollen in places, lines of purple and green across it, most of my hand swelled, cut in places and mis-coloured, two fingers crooked. They feel numb. I can’t move them.

Dunno if I like the way they look now.

His breathing quickened as he clenched my wrist tighter, his trembling pupils going up and down my arm.

"This...this-he...Noogai did this...?" He breathes.

I whine softly, wrist throbbing in his grip. He immediately loosens it, and places my hand gently on the ground.

"N...Noogai... who...?" I mumble.

The world sways softly.

My stomache churns. I feel so...so sick and dizzy...

My back hurts... And my legs...the skin on my cheek is tight and itchy...

Really tired.

"Goddamn- Wake up!" He shakes my in an almost desperate manner.

I shrieked, agony spiking through my body.

"-Shit!"

He lifts my head slowly in one arm, sliding the other under my knees, grunting slightly as he stands.

"Don't you dare shut your eyes" he said through gritted teeth as he started walking. I moan, each step sending burning, throbbing pain through my body, bone deep pain.

A star floats close to my face, inches away, a big beautiful blue one, size of my palm.

"Hel...loo...can...c..an I h...hold y..you?" I murmur, instinctively reaching for it again.

My body jolts painfully as we jump out of the tab.

We were in a tab?

"Snap out of it!" His frantic voice cuts through the haze.

"M tir'd..." I mumble, eyes drifting shut.

"Oi! Wake up! Do you hear me?! Wake up!" His voice trembles as it starts to fade

"S...sorry... I can't..."

---

I think I dozed off.

We're not moving anymore.

I feel myself being lowered onto something... surprisingly soft. Like a blanket. Fluffy.

I sigh contently and bury my aching face into it, my hands running up and down the fluffy fabric.

It's warm...

Think I might just sleep for a while...

---

My eyes open slowly.

Where...?

I'm in some sort of yellow room, similar to my box only this has furniture. A desk in a corner, small carpet on the floor and a...a bed that I'm lying on. There's even a door.

I cough weakly, my hand flying up to my mouth.

Ow-

My eyes widen.

My hand...

What on earth... it looks messed up... why are my fingers so swelled? Why are two of my fingers twisted sideways? Why are they so horribly mis-coloured??

I clench a fist, before immediately opening, gasping out in pain.

Someone next to me moves.

It's...AOL.

He's sitting at the edge of the bed. His head twisted around and catches my eye. He looks... Strange.

Eyes wide and haunted, mouth slightly agape, his breathing uneven.

What the...?

He notices me staring at him, and his breath catches in his throat.

"Are you okay??"

I flinch at his loud voice, dropping my hand beside me.

"Oh...oh kid I didn't mean to scare- fuck."

He pauses, dropping his gaze.

"Where..." I start, pausing as my lips stretched, the split parts burning and they opened wider. I wince.

"Where am I?" I say, taking care not to move my lips too much. My voice is weak and croaky, barely hearable.

"Inside my app. This is my room." He swallows, guilt etched on his face.

"Kid I didn't know he would...would do that…"

I glare at him.

This is a mistake.

I shouldn't look at him like that.

But the anger bubbles inside, a raging fire in my chest.

I can't stop my mouth from opening.

"I don't like you. You left me." I say through gritted teeth.

It's not that I was actually surprised he left, but it still hurt.

I brace myself, expecting a slap, swearing, more pain but... nothing happens.

He winces.

...Huh.

I attempt to sit up, but pain jolts through my spine, forcing me back down.

"Don't move, you're...you're hurt," he said.

??

"Why do you care? You hate me!" I snarled angrily.

Shut up you idiot! You're hurt enough, don't make him angry at you too now!

"I don't- I just- I thought Noogai was favouring you after you killed us but he..."

He paused again, his hands starting to tremble.

"What...what was that..."

I stare at him. "What?"

"He...he fucking beat you...he didn't stop even...even when you passed out...just kept bringing that…that thing down on your limp body-"

"Yeah, he did." I answer.

He chokes.

"Why are you saying it like that?! You should be fucking crying right now like any normal child would!" He spluttered.

"Already did that." I say flatly.

"N-no... Why...why aren't you...why are you acting like this is normal-"

His eyes widen further in realisation.

"He hasn't... hasn't done this before...has he...?"

He stares at me, horror in his eyes, his hand moving to my wrist and squeezing it slightly, lifting it up and lowering the sleeve to my elbow.

Stripes of blueish purple covered it.

Oh god, it looks so weird. Hurts so much.

"Please don't tell me he...he actually...oh shit, please don't..." His voice cracked.

My breathe hitched.

I thought...

I thought he'd be happy to see me hurt, not...not whatever this was.

The anger starts slipping away.

"Only when I'm bad..." I whisper.

I want to hate him, him and Firefox for what they did but... I can't. He looks so guilty... I've never seen him like this before... so... so emotional...so...so horrified...

He sucks in a shaky breath.

"How many times...has he hurt you... Before this..." He starts, the tone in his voice shifting to something darker.

I tug at my hand, fear creeping up my throat

"Let go-"

"How many times..." His voice rises.

"I don't-"

"HOW. MANY?"

His hand squeezed my wrist tighter.

"O-ow your hurting m-"

"SPEAK DAMMIT! HOW MANY TIMES!?" He shouts, the words ringing through my ears and stabbing through my head.

Frightened tears well up. "I don't know...I-I don't remember... More than three times...or four-"

"WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME?"

"I...I'm sorry-!"

"All this time- ALL THIS FUCKING TIME I thought you were a kid Noogai was spoiling, but he- HE DOES THIS TO YOU???"

I shriek as his hand clenches even harder, the bruises burning beneath him. The bones feel like they're rubbing against each other in my arm.

"Stop!" I sob, pulling at my hand.

Something shifted in his eyes and he let go.

I hold my aching wrist in my other hand a move it up to my mouth, biting softly around the knuckles. A whimper escaped my lips.

"Kid I'm- I'm sorry- I just... shit...I'm so sorry..." He says quietly, combining a hand through his hair, expression one of guilt.

Did he just say sorry to me?

I stare at him.

"IT HURTS! STOP! ‘M SORRY!"

"Did I do something wrong? I'm sorry! Please let me come out!" 

"I'M SORRY I'M S-SORRY I-I DI-DN'T M-MEAN TO!"

"I... I'm s.. sorry I-"

"STOP-P! ST-STOP IT! I'M SO-R-RY!"

"Don't... Don't say sorry... please don't ever say that to me," I mutter.

He gives me a confused look, but doesn't say anything.

I hate that word.

His hand comes up, moving towards my face.

I flinch back hard.

His hand pauses, before gently stroking it against my stinging, bruised cheek, brushing away a few stray tears.

Oh...oh wow...

"Try sleep then, yeah?"

His touch moves up and down my face slowly, not pressing at all, but it...it feels so good.

So warm...soft...why is this...so nice...

I let out a small sigh and move into his touch slightly, shutting my eyes.

His hand paused.

"D-Don't stop...please don't," I murmur before I can stop myself.

The stroking continued.

I feel the corners of my split lip curling up on their own.

I'm smiling.

But...but it's different this time.

I don't feel...bad...or sad or desperate...or even hopeful.

I just...I just feel warm.

Chapter Text

"How you getting on?" AOL asked gruffly, his tone void of any emotion.

I blink up at him as he sets a bowl teeming with letters on my lap, sitting at the end of the bed again.

He…he got that for me?

"I... what do you mean, sorry?" I ask hesitantly, shifting my position, leaning against the headrest. He's not gonna get mad at me for not understanding, right?

He stares at me for a moment, face blank.

"Er, never mind...Lemme see check your fingers again."

He reaches out and grabs my wrist without warning.

I jolt and the bowl almost slips off my lap. My breath hitched.

"Ah-! Er... You're jumpy..." He says awkwardly, before raising my hand with the two crooked fingers, my pinkie and index, and carefully, with his other hand, holds my index, slowly bending it in the way it's supposed to be.

Okay...

 …Okay....ow…stop...ow-owOW-

I cry out, agony shooting through my bones, burning ache throbbing in my bone like acid.

AOL quickly let go of that finger, a guilty expression on his face.

"That… must hurt..." He mutters.

I nod slowly, biting my lip.

I want to tug my wrist out of his, scared he'll hurt me again, even if it's by accident, but I don't want him to be angry with me. Then he'll stop being so nice.

I like it when he's nice.

He's not so mean anymore

.

He cautiously poked a line of purple bruising on my forearms. I hiss.

"God, you're a fucking mess." He comments.

"Sorry," I say automatically.

His head turns and he gives me a weird look.

I shrink back, heart beating faster. Did I do something wrong?? Isn't sorry supposed to help?!

"Why'd ya say sorry for? You're the one who's hurt here."

"Oh I... I dunno."

His eyes move my cheek, eyes looking over it with what seemed to be concerned.

I don't understand...why is he nice now? He hates me, he hurts me, so why does he care I'm hurt now?

Then again...the animator kinda does the same thing.

Is this...is this love? Is it different for stick figures?

Isn't love supposed to feel good?

Well...it does feel good when Noogai pats me...but it feels so horrible when he hurts me after...

'Your being ridiculous. AOL hates you. He doesn't care about you, let alone love you.'

"-...id? You..-wi...-me..?"

I blink.

AOL is looking at me expectantly.

"Sorry," I mumble, my face flushing as I lower my gaze.

Did I zone out?

"You apologise too much." He stated, setting my hand on the bed.

I open my mouth to say sorry, before quickly snapping it shut.

He points at the bowl, still full to the brim with letters.

"Eat."

I obediently grab the bowl.

Pain

I stifle a cry, releasing immediately as pain springs up.

It feels like trying to grab blades, sharp pains running through my swelled fingers. My crooked index finger throbs.

I can feel AOL eyes on me. My heart pounds, stomach flipping.

Pick it up

Quick

My hands cup the edges.

He's given me food and I don't even eat it.

What if gets mad? What if he hits me?

My stomach twisted anxiously and my hands tighten around the bowl.

It hurts.

Fiery pain flares, bones screaming in agony as I try to lift the bowl.

Tears well up.

A small whimper escaped my lips, and I bite my tongue, trying my hardest not to cry as my hands start to shake, the bowl trembling in them.

"...You...good?" AOL raised an eyebrow.

"F-f-fine, thank-thank you fo-for the fo-food.."  I stammer, struggling not to scream.

"Kid?" He shifted closer.

"Maybe ya shouldn't-"

I shriek as sharp pains stab my hands, cutting through my bones like glass. The bowl falls from my hand.

Letters scatter across the bed.

I gasp and frantically try scooping them up in my hands.

"M s-sorry!" I whisper, breathing quickening.

Madesuchamessyoursuchanidiotstupidstupidstuipd-

A hand grabs both my wrists and holds them up.

"Stop." He says firmly.

I try to tug away. "But I- I made a mess I-"

"Oi. Shut it. Not that big a deal."

"B-but-"

"I said, shut it."

His eyes glanced the letters scattered across the yellow blankets, some fallen off the bed, others lost in the blanket.

His eyes move to my hands, still stuck in one of his big hands.

I would try and pull them out, but he might squeeze tighter.

Why is he so strong?

He stares at them a little longer, long enough to make me uncomfortable and start squirming in his grip.

His response was to tighten his hold, but nor too hard it hurts.

"...Shit. you can't hold anything, can you?" He realised.

My breath hitched. "I didn't mean to-"

"I think the finger's broken," he cut me off, examining my crooked pinkie.

His eyes narrowed, pulling my hands closer to his face.

They widen.

"Why are there bite marks on this hand?" He inquired slowly, staring at me.

Oh...how do I explain this...

He sucked in a shaky breath.

"Kid... kid, these marks are deep...how the fuck did Noogai do that??"

I inhale deeply. "He...he didn't..."

"Then how-" he paused.

"You didn't- did you do this!?" He demanded, his tone rising.

I flinch.

"I-It was an a-accident... di-didn't mean to do it th-that hard..." I stammer, my heart jumping to my mouth.

Why is he so annoyed by this? What’s the big deal?

AOL let go of my hand and pinched his forehead, letting out a slow exhale.

He opened his eyes and placed both his hands on my aching shoulders, locking eyes on mine.

"We don't...we do NOT harm ourselves, y'hear??” His grip tightened. I wince, more out of fear then the pain.

“Don't you ever do that again, UNDERSTAND???" He hissed.

I nod quickly, shrinking down.

He lets out an exasperated sigh and let go of my aching shoulders, moving back and stepping off the bed.

He walks over to his desk and pulls open a drawer from under it.

I hear him muttering to himself, something about how he can't believe he's doing this.

He shuts the drawer and comes back to me, something white in his hands, like a roll, but out of fabric.

He sits down heavily on the edge of the bed and grabs my hand.

"What are you...?" I stop as he unrolls the strip of fabric, yanks my hand and starts rolling it around my crooked index and middle finger.

His face is unreadable as he tightens the fabric, so hard my fingers are stuck together and unmovable. I gasp out in pain.

He wraps the remaining fabric over my pinkie, attaching it to the finger next to it, the around my hand, hiding the ugly lines of bruising and bite marks.

Kinda glad he did that, they look so ugly.

"There," he says in satisfaction, admiring his work.

I hold my hand up to my face and stare at it, trying to curl my fingers, and to my annoyance, they don't move.

"Why'd...you do that?" I ask hesitantly.

"Help it heal, keeps the bones in place," he answers, scooping up a bunch of letters and dumping them in the bowl.

He picks a letter up and shoves it in my mouth.

"Mmh??" I choke.

"Don't mistake this as caring," he mutters.

I swallow the letter down. "Then why are you-?"

"Because it's my fault he fuckin beat you," he spat, scowling.

"I have to do this, not because I want to.” He pauses, regaining his composure.

Something twists in my heart.

He spots me staring at him.

“Not fair if I didn't, yeah?" he says, face blank, emotionless.

A lump rose to my throat "...Oh."

'What did I tell you?'

I know...just hoped maybe...maybe he actually did-...no, why would he.

He pushes another bland letter into my mouth.

I chew slowly, the movement hurting my cheek.

The room fell into an awkward silence.

"What's up with your tooth?" He says suddenly, gazing at my mouth.

"Hm? Oh that..." I trail off.

We both stare at each other.

A moment passes. Then two.

"...He did that, didn't he?" AOL broke the silence.

I stay quiet.

AOL clenched his eyes shut at inhaled deeply.  

"What did you do for him to…?" He mumbled.

"I...I dunno...don't remember…" I reply.

AOL paused.

"I didn't know...I didn't know he...he does stuff like that..." he said quietly.

I don't say anything.

He pushes another letter into my mouth.

"How...how did that happen?"

I shift uncomfortably.

"He uh...he drew this heavy ball... attached it to a chain, kinda like the one on my ankle right now, only bigger, and he...he..."

My voice starts to tremble.

My hands are shaking.

"He hit me...over and over... Wouldn't... would stop...even when I said I was sorry..."

A sob leaves my mouth.

I'm crying.

Why am I crying?

"Shit- didn't mean to make you upset kid," AOL curses again, hand hovering over my shuddering shoulder before hesitantly patting it slowly.

I wipe the tears away with my hand a little too hard and groan in pain, the bruises burning.

Another letter is pressed softly against my lips.

I take it and chew, eyes still blurry.

"You...you got a name?" He says, obviously trying to change the subject.

"Y-yeah..." I sniff, mouth still full of letters mush.

"The Chosen One."

"Oh yeaah, I remember. Bit of a mouthful though..." He scratched the back of his neck thoughtfully.

"How about we call you Chosen? Or Cho fo short?"

I look up and surprise myself by smiling.

"Yeah…I’d like that."

‘You’re a fool.’

Chapter Text

Swoosh.

My eyes shoot open.

The room had a dim orange light on, meaning it must be night.

Click.

Bile rises to my throat.

How long was I asleep for??

AOL sat on the desk in the corner, typing something out on a laptop, his back to me, light glowing from the screen.

Click

The...the cursor...He's looking for me...this isn't good...

I glance at AOL. Then at the door. Then back at AOL.

He told me I wasn't allowed out of bed...but the animator...what if he gets angry?

I consider asking AOL if I can go, but quickly decide against it.

He was in a bad mood before I fell asleep... He's usually in bad mood actually... And I don’t know...a bit afraid of him.

He's just so... so tall.

The swooshing grew louder outside, angrier somehow.

I bite my lip and stare at AOL, who apparently was too engrossed in the laptop to notice the noise.

I sit up slowly, winching as my head pounds, the world swerving, and swung my legs over the side of the bed.

The bed creaks slightly.

I hold my breath.

He doesn't react.

I breathe out in relief quietly.

Okay...okay...

I placed a foot on the floor, then the other, standing up.

Still good...

I take a small step forward and-

Bang!

My chain ball rolls off the bed and crashes to the ground.

AOL jolted in his seat and spun round in his chair.

"What was- THE HELL ARE YOU DOING OUT OF BED?!?"

"I-I-" I raised my hands in panic.

He stormed over, glaring at me, eyes gleaming in irritation.

I stay rooted to the spot, unable to move. My mouth is dry, heart sinking.

His hand shoots out and grabs the front of my hoodie, his hands burning into the bruises on my chest and neck, his face inches away from mine.

"I told you not to get out of fucking bed," he growled through gritted teeth.

Ooo...he's in a really bad mood...

"I-I know b-but he- the anima- Noogai, he's l-looking for m-me," I whisper, my hands moving up to his one gripping my front and try prying his fingers open, without much success.

He looks down at my hand with the fabric on it, then at my face.

Something changed.

The glare shifted to an irritated, mildly guilty expression. He inhaled, then exhaled slowly before eventually letting go of my hoodie.

He takes my wrist and begins to pull me back towards the bed. 

B-but...the animator-!

"Wait! He's looking for me!" I cry, tugging in the opposite direction, to the door.

Pain jolts through my arm but I grit my teeth and pull harder.

"Chosen! Get your ass back in bed NOW!" he hissed, grip tightening as he pulled me into him. I struggle.

He yanks me so hard I’m pulled into him, and he shoves me into bed.

My head whacks against the mattress, a sharp pain cutting through it like glass, my arms burning and fingers throbbing.

He throws the blanket on top of me.

I immediately kick it off and try to sit up again, before being knocked back down.

"Stop fighting you devil! Why the hell d’ya wanna go to him for even if he's looking for you?! What if he beats you again??" AOL shouted, grabbing my flailing hands and pinning them above my head to the bed.

He climbed up on the bed and used his body to trap mine underneath him, making it impossible to move.

"G-get o...off!" I gasp, arching my back and squirming under him, trying my best to escape.

My bones ache, pain coursing through my spine like acid. Feels like being stabbed with millions of tiny needles.

"Calm down, you'll hurt yourself," he muttered into my ear, breath hot against my cheek, parts of his hair falling against my face, tickling my cheek.

His breathing is heavy, his body tense and so...so big…

Slowly, I stop struggling, the energy slipping away, and just...lie there, arms limp, gasping, fight drained out of me.

That's when the pain hits.

I burst into tears, my entire body burning, my hands in absolute agony. It felt like someone had cut them open and burned them from the insides, then battered my bones until they turned to powder.

AOL pauses, sitting up off me and letting go of my hands.

His eyes skim over me, face blank, though his eyes go through a range of emotions.

"Are you...where does it hurt?" He said softly.

"M-m-my h-hand-s," I sob.

Part of me feels like I shouldn't be crying, especially not in front of him, but it just...just hurts so much! And the animator-

I sob harder, hiding my face in my arms and avoid look at him.

"O-Okay just- just calm down I'll- I'll uh- fuck. What d’you need??"

I think he's talking to himself more than me.

"Let me go...go to the animator...he might not be mad...even if I'm late...please..." I beg.

His gaze hardens.

"You're staying right here," he stated firmly.

I peeked at him through my arms, eyes wide, pleading with him. A tear rolls down my bruised cheek.

"Please...”

"NO!" He snapped.

I winced, heart pounding against my chest.

Why…why don’t you understand??

What's going to happen when I have to go back to the animator? What if he's mad? What if he punishes me? What if he deletes me?

N... no...no!

An idea pops into my head.

If could distract him... maybe I could pick up my chain ball and run out the door...it's wide open...worth a chance...

"Look Chosen... Lemme see your hands again-"

"They're okay now," I lie.

He called me Chosen!

I shut my eyes slowly.

"M tired though..." I mumble.

I can feel him staring at me, my heart thudding against my chest.

Two hands pull me up onto the pillow and throws the blanket back over me. I felt him stand up, his footsteps echoing as his chair creeks, indicating he sat back down at his laptop.

Okay...good... feel a little bad for tricking him though...

I wait a few more minutes before cracking an eye open. He's on the laptop again, back turned to me.

I breathe in and out quietly, sitting up.

I look at the door.

It's right there...

Just need to be quick...I can do that!

'Look... I don't know if this is a good idea oo' '

Seb, how are we supposed to be good if we don't help the animator? Plus, he might delete me!

'Chosen... Really, I don't know about this... AOL is already extremely angry...And the animator wouldn't delete you just for that'

How do you know!?

'Because it doesn't make sense. He probably won't even remember by tomorrow.'

Yes he will!

I shake my head furiously, trying to shut him up and glance at the chain on my ankle.

Dunno if I can pick that up...hands still hurting...

Maybe if I run fast enough it'll just slid with me?

'This is a bad idea :( '

Okay...on three.

I eye the door.

One...

Two...

'Really... don't-'

Three!

I jump out of bed and make a wild dash for the door.

Yes- yes!

In the corner of my eyes, I see AOL jolt out of his chair, hear him cursing violently, voice making the hairs on my skin stand on end.

The doors right there!

Almost-!

Something got caught between my legs.

I trip and fall forward, landing with a thump on my hands.

Pain jolts through them and I shriek, collapsing to the floor.

Wait! I'm so close!

'You’re finished...just give up and apologise quick! OO" '

I try dragging myself forward to the door.

A sharp yank at my hoodie tugs me back roughly.

I choke as he drags me across the floor by my hood and let go near the bed.

He crouches down and flips me onto my back, pinning my hands to the floor above my head again with on hand.

I catch sight of his face-

Oh god- he's fuming

His eyes wide, pupils tiny, jaw clenched and hair falling wildly over his face.

He looks scary…g…get off m…me

On instinct, I try to escape his hold.

SLAP!

I stop struggling immediately, staring up at him in shock.

Wha... What...?

Half my cheek starts to burn, stinging and I can feel it start to flush, the blood rushing to that area.

He glares, but something shifted in his eyes.

"That was needed. You're acting fucking crazy, devil child," he hissed sharply, though there was a slight change in his tone, a little softer.

I don’t look away from his eyes.

He... hit me...I thought...I thought he...thought he wouldn't....why? why? Why? WHY?

‘Shouldn’t have done that.’

"Y...you hit me...w...why?" I whisper, voice cracking.

He swallows, the glare disappearing, replaced by an uncomfortable look.

"You're... you're not going to him. Not now anyway." He said finally.

"Why?"

"Why? WHY??? ARE YOU BEING FUCKING REAL?!" I flinched back against the floor, his eyes blazing.

"I'll tell you why. Because he TORTURED YOU. LOOK AT YOU! YOU'RE A FLIPPING MESS!"

I flinch again. "That's...that isn’t… wasn't...he didn't torture...-"

"Why do you even wanna go to him??" He demanded, cutting me off

"B-because... because... I...I uh...um....umm..."

The words won't come out. It's like I've forgotten how to speak. I swallow nervously.

AOL huffed, thankfully calming down considerably though he still looked extremely irritated.

"You're an idiot, y'know that?” He said quietly, standing up and pulling me to my feet.

My hands have started throbbing even harder than before, sharp pains coursing through them like acid in my blood. I bite my lip and climb into bed before he tells me to so he doesn't get even more mad.

He stares at me for a moment, face unreadable.

"Dunno if I can trust you now," he muttered,

catching my eye, his expression serious.

I swallow guiltily, stomach turning a somersault, "Sorry-"

"Stop saying that. Already got a slap, no need to apologise now," he said, eyeing my still smarting cheek, which I'm guessing had probably gone flushed and now was uncomfortably hot and itchy.

I try not to look into his eyes.

Still can't believe he did that again.

'He did it before, what makes you think he won't do it again?'

I dunno...just thought he might have changed after...after everything. Guess I was wrong.

'Told you.'

...But still...he's not...he's not bad...he’s still helping me...so I guess...I guess maybe I deserved that?

Clink

I blink slowly.

Did I zone out again??

What was that noise?

Where’s AOL-?

I see him down on the floor at the end of the bed, crouching near the leg.

...What is that wrapping around it...why can't I move my ankle...?

My eyes widen, spotting my chain wrapped around the leg, tied to it.

My breath hitched.

I'm...I'm actually stuck....

He stands up and glances down at me.

"Look what ya made me do... urgh, this is for your own good kid, can't have you running off again," he says emotionlessly, face blank before turning his back and moving back to the laptop.

I open my mouth...then shut it.

Shift my leg. The chain clinks, straining against my ankle.

I tug at it.

Secured tight. No use. I'm stuck.

I bite my lip angrily, barely keeping myself from screaming as I glare at AOL's back.

I want to hit him, just like he hit me.

'Look at it this way, at least you get rest'

Yeah. Then I get punished by the animator when he does let me go. And I can't explain because he doesn't listen- never listens, just hurts and I can't do anything about it because I'm a stupid little stick and I deserve it because I'm bad bad bad BAD BAD!

Wouldn't be here if I hadn't mis-aimed that fireball...why didn't I aim right? How stupid am I?

I sniff, wiping my eyes furiously.

Hate him. Hate Firefox. Hate the animator. Oh…no I shouldn’t…hate him…

Hate myself. Hate EVERYTHING.

EVERYTHING AND EVERYONE IS STUPID STUPID STUPID

I clench the blanket in my fists and stare at AOL.

He continues typing on the laptop.

Hate you the most.

I stick my tongue out at him, scowling.

HATE YOU

I HATE YOU

ARGHHHHH I HATE YOU!

I bury my face into the pillow and sob quietly.

Why do I feel like this? So angry?

 I... I don’t like it…

…I really… really am bad…

Chapter Text

Back on the desktop. Been two days since the animator beat me.

AOL carried me into the tab a couple hours ago.

Says I should probably get back to work, else the animator might erase my files.

Which would delete me.

He wouldn't let me get out of bed, wouldn't even untie the chain in case I try to escape again. Really boring.

Though to be honest... It wasn't all bad.

I don't...I don't hate him...I don't know why I ever thought that... especially about the animator.

Last night we watched a movie together. He said it was to shut me up so I could sleep without annoying him.

It was...was fun...kinda....

The movie was about a doll that got throw out into a bin and now he wanted revenge on the people who threw him out.

Kind of scared me... especially that part where he grabbed the axe and chopped that girl's head off...so much blood...hhhhh-

Anyway, even though he fell asleep after half of the movie, he got me a bowl of letters and slept with me in the bed. Usually, he makes me sleep on a blanket in the corner.

AOL isn't bad... Even if he did hit me...I kind of deserved it anyway...

I glance up at the screen, hoping to see the animator.

Not here yet.

Huh...

At first, I was nervous to see the animator in case he's angry but it's been hours... Starting to wish he would just come.

Haven't heard the cursor since that day.

The animator’s usually here by now...

---

"He didn't come?"

I shook my head as AOL picked me up, one hand behind my head, other under my knees.

AOL frowned. "Weird."

We make it to his room and he plops me onto the bed.

It's around midnight now, the dim orange light above illuminating the room with a comforting glow.

AOL sits at the end of the bed, reaches under it and pulls out a bowl, half full of letters.

"Say ahh," he says, picking up a letter and pressing it gently against my lip. The split parts have healed by now, though the corner of my mouth is still scabbed over.

AOL won't let me pick at it in case it leaves a scar.

I take the letter, chewing slowly.

He raised the bowl to his nose and took sniffed.

"What do these things even taste like eh?" He asked, peering at it curiously.

"Er... nothing really, just ink... tasteless ink," I answer.

"Sounds boring," he says flatly

 I giggle. "It is."

He flashed me a white, toothy grin and offered me another letter.

"I think... I think maybe I can feed myself now," I say, raising my hand, not the one with the strange fabric, and clenched a fist, before unclenching it slowly.

The swelling had almost healed, though the bruising was still slightly visible, a blueish purple lingering on my skin.

"Hm, that so?" His eyes examined my hand, lingering on the lines of bruising and a few scabbed cuts on my fingers.

I nod.

He smirks.

"Too bad kiddo, I’ve started to like feeding ya like a little, baby bird."

He winks at me, his eyes softening. Something inside me stirs, making me feel warm and...good.

Really good...and...and I think I...really like him...love him maybe...

"Y'know…" He grins slyly.

"You're actually kinda cute when you're not annoying-hrn!?"

He gasps as I throw myself into him and hug him as hard as I can, arms tight around his waist.

His breathing faltered, his hands raised in surprise.

"Er-?"

"Thank you..." I whisper.

His breath hitched.

My face buried into his chest, clinging into his shirt.

"Thank you...thankyouthankyouthankyouthankyou!"

"Woah kid uh- erm wow...uh...just- wow." He swallowed, hesitantly patting my back.

"I'm...I'm not very good at hugs," he confessed.

He gazed down at me in confusion.

"Why you... Why you doing this again...?"

 I look up at him. He genuinely looked stunned.

"You helped me...even though I hurt you and Firefox..."  I said.

He pauses, speechless.

"But I...I hurt you too... So why are you-"

"I don’t know really," I admit, smiling sheepishly.

"But I know you healed me, so I guess we're even, right?"

He chuckled. "Not even close kid... For me at least."

"Y'know I'm..." He pauses, inhaling deeply.

"-I'm sorry about...all of it... For everything me and Firefox did... You're not a brat."

I squeezed harder, tears stinging in my eyes.

Slowly, I felt his arms wrap awkwardly around me, like he was figuring out what to do.

Is this his first time hugging too?

Don't know how long we stayed like that.

It felt so...so good

Warm and...soft... safe...like nothing could hurt me while his arms were around me.

It wasn't cold. Wasn't lifeless.

It was... amazing.

I shut my eyes slowly. Wish everything could just pause here, and we could stay like this, just staying warm forever.

Eventually, we pulled away. He smiled at me, actually smiled, not a smirk, not a grin but a real smile.

I say the first thing that comes to my mind.

"Is Firefox as nice as you?"

His face goes blank.

"She's...I dunno to be honest..." he answered slowly.

Oh...?

"So is she not your friend?"

"HER?! FRIEND? Pah!" He scoffed, running a hand through my hair.

I look at him in confusion. "Huh? You're not?"

"Nahhh, not anymore anyway. She's a fucking jerk. Always picking up a fight over the dumbest shit imaginable." He scowled for a moment before his face straightened.

"So… you two had a fight?" I ask hesitantly.

He stiffened, looking away.

"The animator didn't show today, yeah?" He said quickly, changing the subject.

I stared at him, wondering if I should try to get more information about, before changing my mind and shaking my head.

"No...and I don't think he came on the computer yesterday either."

He frowned.

"That's... real weird."

I nod.

“What were ya even doin’ all that time while you was waiting? And- Why is my shirt damp?"

He looks down at his white t-shirt which had a damp patch over his chest area, a large spot slighter darker than the rest of the shirt.

Ooo...

His eyes move to my hoodie, squinting.

"It's you! Why's your hoodie so damn wet??"

I squirm uncomfortably under his eyes, a guilty expression on my face.

"Sorry..."

" Stop with the goddamn sorrys! Why the hell are you wet??"

"Got bored over in the tab so I made all these ice cubes to play with. I forgot about them and fell asleep. They all turned into cold water around me."

"You can make ice cubes...?"

I nod quickly, forming a little one in my hand to show him.

He stares at it, a grin forming on his face. "Sick."

I look up at him in surprise. "Y-you think it's cool?"

He plucked the cube from my hand and examined it, rolling it over in his hand.

"Sure. Y'know how useful this could've been if you told me a couple days ago?"

I frown in confusion. "Pardon?"

His hand reaches out and pressed the ice cube against my cheek, over the part he hit yesterday.

I breath out in satisfaction as the coldness cooled it down, the icy cube biting into my cheek.

It had become a little stiff, hard and achy to the touch, still annoying hot, though now it felt a whole lot better.

"Ice brings down the swelling," he explained, moving the ice to cover my cheek.

He stops suddenly, like he just thought of something.

"Your turn now, I gotta go check somethin’," he mumbles quickly, pushing the ice into my hands and jumping out of bed.

He pauses, turns his head and catches my eye.

"DON'T get out of bed," he warned threateningly, striding towards the door and jumping out, down onto the desktop, out of sight.

I stare after him. The ice starts melting in my hand, dripping again my already drenched hoodie.

What just happened.

My mind is a whirl.

...So that's what a real hug feels like.

Huh.

It's nice.

Want another.

Chapter Text

AOL walked through the door and thumped down on the bed next to me. I flinch.

"Wh...where'd you go-" I ask nervously.

"Went through his messages," he replied falling onto his back and crossing his arms under his head.

I shifted slightly, tilting my head.

"He's at some sort of sleepover or somethin'," AOL said, shutting his eyes.

I pause, before crawling over to him.

"What's...what's a sleepover?" I ask hesitantly. This won't make him mad, right?

"Seriously?" He chuckled.

Exhaling deeply, he sat up and caught my eye.

"Sleepover's just when a bunch of kids go to one of their friends' house and stay there for a couple nights. Just a human thing," he explained.

"What do you do in them?" I ask curiously.

"I dunno," he shrugged. " From what I hear, do anything but sleep. Eat, dance, play a few games, shit like that."

"Ooo, that sounds fun!" I exclaim, clasping my hands.

He rolls his eyes, but there's a twinkle in them, like he's amused.

"Wish I could do that..." I sigh, excitement fading.

"I mean, ya can't exactly invite a bunch of bratty kids over, can ya?"  He pointed out.

I sigh. "Yeah..."

"Buuuuut, no reason we can't have a bit of fun, yeah?"

My eyes light up.

Is he saying...

"You mean...?"

"Wait here," he says, standing up and moving to his desk drawer, rummaging through it before pulling out some kind of board, a bunch of black and white squares on it.

"Ever played checkers?" He asked, smiling, holding it up.

I shook my head.

He smirked. "Course not. Here, lemme show ya what to do."

---

I stare at the ceiling, trying to process what just happened.

AOL lay beside me, back turned towards me, breathing steadily.

The rooms pitch black. So.. must be night time.

He played with me Seb... someone actually... actually played with me...

'Why? Why is he playing with you?'

I have no idea. But it didn't end with that horrible empty feeling in my heart like it usually does...it ended with laughter...

'I don't know about this... why's he being so nice to you?'

Maybe... maybe he cares about me-?

'No. Why would he care about you? You don't do anything for him.'

Fair point... maybe he's just bored. Though he did hug me once...

Maybe he really does...

Care…

Heh

I hug my arms to my chest and smile.

The warm feelings back.

---

Animator's back. It's afternoon in the real world, I can see the sky changing colours through his window.

I'm...I'm scared.

He looks so angry...

Angry with me at least.

Glared at me as soon as he turned the computer on.

Haven't moved much from my corner of the writing document. My arms ache from how many times I've had to lift them.

The pop ups won't stop coming...I'm tired...my arms feel like jelly...

Smoke drifts from my palms, hot and stinging from overuse.

The dirty white fabric has burnt off, exposing my battered hand.

Haven't really looked properly, but with a brief glance, I saw lines of purplish blue overlapping each other on the back of my hand, parts of it a deep red and scabbed. Other cuts were littered across my fingers.

My two fingers aren't crooked anymore thankfully, though they're a little more bent than they were before.

It hurts to curl them.

Another pop up appears.

I stare at it.

Gotta... destroy it...just…give me a minute...

My hands are heavy like lead, head aching, looking up at the pop up.

Why...why won't you just stop?

'Burn it!!! What are you doing?!'

I'm trying! I... I'm just...so tired...

'HE'SGETTINGMADYOUIDIOT! HURRY UP!'

I wince, lifting my arm, fire sparking up.

The cursor darts towards me.

My heart stops, eyes widening.

"WAIT-" I start, stretching out my hand frantically.

Click

I'm in the air.

"-PLEASE! I'M SORRY!" I shriek, struggling to free myself from the cursors cold hold, kicking and pushing against it with all my strength.

"I'LL DO IT FASTER I SWEAR!"

The chain weighs down my ankle, making it feel like my leg might fall out of its socket.

He switches tabs to...

'Oh no'

Please... please...please not again!

He chucks me to the canvas horrible white floor.

Flying head over my heals, my back slams into the wall.

The air's knocked out of my lungs.

Falling to the ground, I lie there wheezing for a moment, before sitting up and press myself against the wall, eyes wide and fixed on the rapidly advancing cursor.

My hearts pounding so loud it almost hurts, stomach sinking.

My mouth so dry, it's hard to swallow.

The cursor paused high over me.

Switches to a paintbrush.

'Hey...maybe he'll... He'll draw you something nice, like he did before...?'

Scratchy sounds come from above me.

My hands start to shake, fingers twitching violently.

Sickening cracks of the stick echo through my head.

Not again, please not again

The burning pain as it whacked against my hands, the ache knowing I can't stop him, can't explain because he just doesn't listen-

Click

I start sobbing as the cursor yanks me roughly to my feet and drags me forward by my arm.

"Pleaase!" I gasp.

Scanning the area, I search for a weapon, heart sinking.

Please not a hammer please not a hammer please not a...

Uh...

No weapons in sight...er...

'Oh! That's good, right?'

I mean, yes but I...-

What is that?

Some sort of wooden board stood beside me, towering over me. Seemed to be a few head taller than me and as wide as a normal bed. Looks a little like a door without the handle.

I don't...I don't understand...?

Darting a glance at the animator, I try to make out his expression.

He still looks angry... shouldn't he be hitting me by now?

The cursor pulls me up into the air and slams me into a board.

Pain exploded across my spine as he attached me to it by wrapping my waist to the board, making me hover a few feet above the ground

My legs dangle helplessly below me, the chain weighing me down.

Breathing has gotten a lot harder... my lungs feel like they've been crushed against each other by how tight the rope is.

What's he doing??

My fingers try to loosen the pressure by picking at the rope.

Doesn't help.

The cursor drifts down, close to my face.

I flinched hard, tears dripping.

"P...pl...p..le..."

Click

My body won't move.

What’s going on????

He's selected me, a black box surrounds me.

The cursor backs up.

I stare at it, frightened tears rolling down my face.

What...what is he doing?? Why won't he just punish me?

I almost wish he had drawn a weapon. At least then, I knew what to expect.

Click

Hm?

Clink.

He's got my chain ball... Lifted it up...

I breathe out in relief as the weight is taken off my aching leg.

'I don't like this...This feels bad...'

What is he even doing though???

The cursor's pulling now... Is he trying to take the chain off?

The cursor pulled the chain harder. My leg is drawn farther.

Okay...

... starting to hurt...

Uneasiness crawled into my chest, panic starting flare.

"St-stop..."

He wrenched harder.

My leg strains, excruciating pain burning on my joints as he tugs them violently.

My pleads grow into wild, frantic shrieks.

"I’M SORRY!  STOP IT!"

"It hurts! IT HURTS!!!"

My muscles stretch.  I feel like I can hear them starting to tear.

"IT'S GONNA FALL OUT!" I choke, tears streaming rivers down my face.

My vision is blurry with tears and fading in and out of black.

The pain is sharp, burning into my leg.

I hear a sickening crack! as my leg dislocated itself from its socket.

Sharp, shooting pains exploded across my hip and leg.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

I scream so loud it echoes through the pc and rattles the entire canvas.

The animator’s hand on the mouse jerks in surprise.

While the cursor was still holding my chain

SSSSSSHHHHH

PAIN.

"N-NOoGaaAAI!" I screeched in agony.

My vision blackened.

The pain is so indescribably agonizing everything flashes white. All I can feel is the sharp stabbing across my leg, burning throughout me like acid.

"._ ___ ._../" I gasp.

".... . ._.. .__."

Looking to the left, I freeze as I see the blurry cursor hovering a little way away.

... something black dangles from its point. Red liquid drips down it.

My heart stops.

What...what is that...

It looks like a short black line...o...oh god...

It's not...please...don't tell me it's...

My pupils trembling, I stare down slowly at my feet.

No…foot

My breathing hitches.

The other leg's torn in half to the knee, floods of red leaking out of it...

I stare at it, unmoving.

My mind goes blank.

... . _... ._ ... _ .. ._ _./

My eyes droop shut. The pain starts to feel distant, dimming like background noise.

._ __/ ../ __. ___ .. _. __./ _ ___/ _.. .. ./

?

All emotions...fade away...I feel...I feel dead.

Can't move...it's like... my body isn't mine anymore... everything is just so...so distant...like trying to grasp at water... keeps slipping through my hands...what's happening...I...I'm scared...why do I feel like...like this?

Why is everything...so... Faraway?

---

Animator's gone.

Left sitting alone in the dark in a pool of my own blood.

My leg hurts.

Whatever’s left of it anyway.

….Told AOL I'd try walking back to his room today.

Wish I never said that.

I shift onto my uninjured leg, wincing as pain shoots through my body.

He didn't even cut it off this time...I didn't know you could...tear limbs off like that...

I haven't moved much since he left.

My eyes stare unmoving ahead, mind blank and so...so disconnected.

I want to cry.

The tears won't come.

The minutes blur into hours, and I still haven't moved. Not sure what’s happening…everything feels like a dream.

Eventually, a fuzzy yellow figure climbs onto the tab

A... AOL?

Chapter Text

Everything...

Is...is just so...dull...

Even the red...red stuff pooling underneath my legs...it's... it's not as vibrant as it was before. Doesn't even scare me anymore.

I...I don't know what's happening...my vision is foggy...can barely see the fuzzy yellow face in front of me, barely feel the hands squeezing my shoulders, the loud, panicked voice rigging through my ears, and the static piercing through my head.

It's too loud...but words unclear... grip is too tight...but not really enough...

I... I'm really scared

Dunno how to...to wake up from this nightmare... barely have enough energy to keep myself sitting...

My leg hurts so much...but the pain feels like background noise now...

My mind is a muddled, confused mess. Don't remember where I am, or why half my leg has disappeared. Don't even know if I want to know.

I just...just want this stupid feeling to GO AWAY-!

"-P OUT OF IT!"

A loud, frantic voice cuts through the static.

I lift my head and stare blankly at the blurry yellow face, familiar yet...yet so unfamiliar too...?

I know him...I know who he is but I can't...I can't remember-

WAKE UP

JUST-

JUST WAKE UP!!!

WHY WONT YOU WAKE UP?!

The static slowly quietens, much to my relief.

"YOU'RE OKAY, Y'HEAR? JUST SNAP OUR OF IT!" He shouts hoarsely, hands clenching my bruised shoulders painfully.

 I can't even muster up the energy to wince.

"I'll get you to our room yeah?? And it'll be okay Cho yeah?! I-I- I''ll fix you right up- j-just wait I'll-I'll-"

His face is ashen white,eyes wide and pupils little dots. His hairs falling wildly over his face.

I can feel his body trembling through his grip.

"SAY SOMETHING DAMMIT! PLEASE!" He gasps.

I look at those fuzzy orange eyes, still so pretty, so bright like the fire that comes from my palms.

My mouth won't open.

I want to say something. I want to tell him I'm fine. I want to give him a hug. I want...I want him to be okay again...I hate seeing him like this.

My body...won't listen to me. It's like it's not even mine anymore. Like I'm detached from it entirely.

His breathing quickened.

"It's okay it's okay it's okay it's okay" he whispers frantically over and over to himself.

I blink slowly.

He stares back.

Taking a deep breath, he attempted to calm down and released my shoulders.

I breathe out in relief, the pressure against my old bruises fading.

"Ch-Cho? I need y-you to listen to me yeah? It'll be okay, y'hear? I-I'm here okay- I'll help you"

He pauses, taking in another shaky breath, glancing down at my bloodied half-leg before immediately looking away, scrunching his face and clamping his eyes shut. 

He looks like he might faint.

"Shit-l-lie down...y-you're still bleeding...so much..."

He carefully pushed me down against the floor, his hands trembling against my hoodie. My head touches the cool, hard floor, my cheek instantly becoming wet.

A strong metalic smell hits my nose.

I don't enough energy to move out of it.

The world is a blurry red mess, my eyelids heavy and aching.

I wanna...wanna sleep...

"This might hurt-"

My eyes widen slightly. What??

Something rough presses against the opening of my wound.

O-OH GOD

A scream tears through my throat, ringing my in my ears.

Even I shock myself by how loud it was.

AOL flinched back, yanking away the fabric he had tore off the hem of his own shirt from my open wound.

WHY WONT IT STOP BURNING?!?

Sharp, cutting pain stabbing into my leg, jolting up to my hips like electric fire, burning everything in it's path.

"H-H-UR-TS!" I gasp somehow.

"I- didn't- I-" I hear him swallow and my stomach plummets.

"I-I'm sorry." He mumbles, shifting closer.

"NONONONOPLEASE-!!!!" I wail before shrieking as he presses the horrible coarse material against it.

Agony

Pure

AGONY

Clawing at the floor, I attempt to escape the pressure, kicking his hand with my good leg, crying, screaming at him to stop.

"ST-STOP-P-P!!!!!!" I screech.

"I CAN'T!" He gasps.

HE'S HURTING ME

HE'S HURTING ME ON PURPOSE 

My fingers start twitching uncontrollably.

WHY????

"PLEEEEEASE!"

I bite down hard on my lip and instantly taste blood. 

I THOUGHT YOU CARED

His free hand pins me to the floor from my back, forcing me to stay pressed against the horrible red floor.

Tears stream down my face as he pushed down on the wound harder, making me to jolt so hard my face slams into the bloodied floor. 

Black patches start to cover my vision.

I choke at the disgusting metal taste of it in my mouth and sob into the blood, face wet and uncomfortably sticky.

"ST-STOP ITTTTTT!!!" I cry, fighting against his hand holding me down and pushing myself up shakily onto my arms, kicking out again weakly.

He tries forcing me down."IT'S BLEEDING TOO MUCH CHOSEN!"

I give up, collapsing into the blood, allowing the growing darkness to claim me, eventually going limp.

I hate you, AOL... you're horrible... 

I hate....I hate him... you're a horrible, horrible animator.

And I...I hate...hate...I hate you... You horrible, disgusting, bad, ungrateful, disobedient, good-for-nothing, worthless, stupid, idiotic, demonic, spoilt....

....I really am that bad, aren't I?

...This wouldn't have happened if I wasn't like this.

It's my fault, and yet I blame it on the animator.

Ungrateful.

He does everything for me and this what I do. I could have been dead if he wasn't so kind. Probably would be if I had been anyone else's animation.

Wish I could just be good.

Wish he would listen. Wish I could understand what's wrong with me. 

Wish...wish it would just stop

Chapter Text

"Cho I swear TO GOD I'LL-"

AOL took a deep breath, pinching his nose.

"Stop being so fucking difficult and just tell me what happened!" He yells, exasperated.

I don't look up, staring at the white fabric wrapped around my injured leg so tight it's gone numb. The end of it around my knee was a dirty, brownish red.

AOL lets out a loud groan.

He's getting mad.

I should probably answer.

But I...I can't.... won't. 

I won't.

"CHOSEN!"

I flinch as his hand shoots out and pushes my chin up roughly, forcing me to look into his eyes.

His expression is irritated, though his eyes betrayed disturbance as the tiny orange dots shook slightly.

Why does he look like that?

My eyes drop back down.

"Just tell me what happened- WHY aren't you looking at me????" He demanded, grip tightening on my chin, voice tainted with an edge of hurt.

I bite my lip and refuse to look at him, clamping my eyes shut.

I can't forget the excruciating pain that he made me feel, can't forget how he ignored the begging, ignored the screaming.

He didn't listen, didn't listen didn't listen 

Just like... like The animator.

I thought he...

I thought he wouldn't...

 I thought he listened to me...

'Maybe he still does...?'

"Open your eyes."

His tone has shifted to eeriy calm now, setting off alarms blaring in my head.

I can sense the repressed anger growing stronger, the rage building up inside him like a flame.

I felt that from the animator too.

'He's just stressed Chosen. You're the one who's not listening now!'

"Chosen." Warning tone.

My heart starts to pound against my chest.

I consider opening them, before deciding against it.

No. 

Why should I listen to him? He doesn't deserve it!

'And what makes you think you do?'

...Shut up Seb.

"You're walking on thin ice Chosen. Open you're eyes and fucking talk properly! What did that bastard do?"

My hands ball into tight fists, nails digging into my skin. My heart is beating painfully loud, body screaming at me to say something, to listen, to apologise before he does something to me.

But I ignore it.

"... Fine" 

He grabs my face harder, nails digging into the fading bruising on my cheeks.

I try pulling away as he forces an eye open with his other hand

He's angry, scowling, face tight and flushed with anger.

I pause, fear overcoming me for a moment, both eyes opening wide. 

He reminds me so much of...of...

A shiver runs down my spine.

But...

I remember something.

He's not the animator.

HE'S NOT THE ANIMATOR

He's just a stupid, meaningless, replaceable tool just like me

why does he get to hurt me??

Anger flares in my chest.

Think your so powerful, don't you? Just cause I'm scared of you?

'What??'

I grit my teeth and glare at him.

"Don't you fucking look at me like that!" he hissed, eyes darkening, voice seething with rage.

I don't look away.

Who is he to scare me? 

He's nothing! He belongs to the animator just like me! We're both nothing! NOTHING NOTHING NOTHING!

'CALM DOWN!!'

'YOU'RE MAKING HIM MAD'

"You don't own me," I mutter under my breath.

His grip tightened painful.

'WHAT ARE YOU DOING??????'

I wince.

'YOU'RE CRAZY!'

"What'd ya say about me bitch?!" 

Something inside me snaps.

I'm so sick of being treated like this. 

So sick of being scared.

I lock eyes with him.

"I SAID YOU DONT OWN ME! YOU'RE NOT THE ANIMATOR!" I scream.

He freezes. 

'APOLOGISE YOU STUPID IDIOT!! TAKE IT BACK WHILE YOU STILL CAN!'

BE QUIET AND LEAVE ME ALONE SEBASTIAN 

"YOU DON'T GET TO SCARE ME LIKE HIM!" 

AOL quickly recovers, opening his mouth. "I'm trying to help, you little- SHUT U-!"

"NO! YOU SHUT UP!" 

His eyes widen in shock, grip loosening.

I'm so angry I can't think straight. Can't control what comes out of my mouth.

I shove his hand off my chin with a new found strength and glare up at him, tears welling in my eyes, a deep ache burning in my heart.

"I hate how you make me feel! I hate how much you scare me!"

He's so angry he looks like might explode, lips pressing together into a tight, thin line, jaw clenched.

I jab a finger at him. My mouth opens before I can't stop myself. "And I hate you!"

His face pales.

I pause, breathing heavily.

O-oh...maybe I shouldn't have-

WHACK

Thump 

I blink.

...What just...?

Why am I on the floor?

My left cheek starts to burn, a stinging, deep ache spreading across it, as well at the pain blossoming on my back from falling from the bed.

"O-ow... A-AOL?" I whisper, hearing the bed creak and footsteps thump down against the floor towards me.

Did he...did he hit me?

My eyes widen as I recall what I had just said.

WHY WOULD I SAY THAT!? I DONT HATE HIM!

I was just so angry I didn't think- oh god, what have I done?!

I can feel his presence in front of me. Pushing myself up onto shaky hands, I stare up at him, his face unreadable.

I feel so...so small...

"A-AOl I'm really sorry - I didn't mean an-anything I s-swear I didn't-i-it just ca-came out!" I croak frantically, my head spinning. My throat hurts.

The world sways side to side and my vision blurs.

I collapse onto the floor, something warm filling my mouth with a horrible metallic taste.

I...I know that taste...

My stomach flips.

But why? He didn't... didn't hit me that hard...kinda...not hard enough for blood though.

My mouth slacks open and red spills out onto the floor. My breathing quickens until I'm gasping, a burning smell hitting my nose.

What...what's going o-??

"NGH-!" I cry, clutching my stomach as stabbing pains cut through it, the pain sharp and searing like knives.

Smoke drifts from my burning palms, pain running through them like acid.

"Kid?"

Something nudges my shoulder.

PAINPAINPAIN

I scream.

It feels like thousands of needles jabbed into my shoulder, each injecting fiery acid up my blood.

My hands have gone so hot touching them hurts, and smoke is drifting out of my mouth.

I choke and wretch up more blood, splattering it over the yellow floor.

AOL takes a small step back.

"Chosen? W-What are you doing-?"

I shriek again as a cramping pain hits my stomach again, curling into myself as much as I can, tears streaming freely down my face.

My throat burns but I can't stop coughing, gagging as more and more blood flies from my mouth.

"H-help m-!" I gasp, before bursting into another coughing fit.

My hands stop burning abruptly.

They've gone... cold?

Really cold.

Really really cold

...What?

It's spreading...up my arms...and legs now...? 

I try moving them.

They don't respond.

Panic swells up in my chest.

Wh-what's happening???

The cold bites into my chest now, crawling up my neck.

I look down.

It's ice.

I'm being frozen. In my own ice.

My heart drops.

---

Can't...move...s-so cold...

Tried screaming. Tried crying.

I'm stuck.

Stuckstuckstuckstuck

Someone please... please help me...I'm sorry...

Chapter Text

Shaking, I cling to AOL's torn shirt, sobbing my heart out and babbling hysterical nonsense.

What just- I- he- what- I can't - What happened?!

I clutch him harder and he pats my back comfortingly.

I lost all control over my powers! I couldn't... couldn't stop them! I TRIED SO HARD AND IT WOULDN'T STOP!

"IT WOULDN'T LE-LET M-ME OUT" I half shriek, half sob.

"Shhhh, you're okay, yeah? You're out now," he mumurs into my ear. His voice is so soft...so gentle...

It makes me feel a thousand times worse for what I said before.

"I'M S-SORRY- IM S-SO SORRY FOR SAYING I HATE YOU! I DIDN'T MEAN ANYTHING I SWEAR- PLE-PLEASE DONT HA-HATE ME!!" I beg, voice cracking and raw.

He stiffened.

For a moment, I was terrified he'd throw me off his lap and back into the floor, it still wet with broken ice cubes and a hammer lying in the center of all the mess.

"Forget about it, it's done now."

I let out a gasp of relief, muscles relaxing slightly. I'd been so afraid he's throw me out for that, so afraid he'd stop being nice.

AOL cleared his throat. "What... what the hell was that Chosen?"  

He pushes me back slightly and tilts my head up with a finger, making me flinch. My heart quickens.

I don't like...like it when he does that...but I don't want to risk making him mad again...

"I...I don't...he um...I...my..um- please I um...I don't know- s-sorry I-" I stutter. My mind won't work properly 

"Okay okay! Goddamn, you're a flipping mess!" he exclaims, moving his hand and exhaling slowly, eyes staring into space for a moment, blank.

"I'm gonna ask ya questions, and you just gotta nod for yes and shake your head for no. You can do that for me, yeah?"

"I-I'm- I-"

"Yes or no?"

I pause, before nodding.

AOL sets me on the bed, leaning me carefully against the headboard and pulled the damp blanket around my shoulders closer, crossing his legs on the bed.

AOL stares at me, eyes unreadable. I squirm uncomfortably.

"You don't know what happened?"

I nod.

"...Weird... And it's never happened before?"

I nod again.

He pauses thoughtfully.

"Maybe a defensive response..." He murmurs, probably to himself. "Dunno how you sticks work to be honest."

His eyes fall to my bandaged leg and his expression shifts, eyes darkening.

"Noogai...he did that, didn't he?"

I hesitate.

Should I...tell him? He might be mad...he might be mad at me...for not listening to the animator...

'Then again, he might hit you if you don't answer'

True...

I nod, lowering my gaze.

He sucks in a long breath. 

My hearts pounding so hard against my chest I'm afraid it might just jump out.

"Bitch...the absolute BITCH!" He snarls, a fist thumping against the mattress.

I jolt back, breath catching in my throat.

Ohnonononono I knew I shouldn't have done anything! Why did I listen to you Sebastian!?

' :( '

Now he's angry at the animator when it was my fault! 

I grab his arm and tug wildly to get his attention.

"I-It wa-wasn't h-his um- he didn't - it wa- I- um- uhm he'll um- fi-fix it!" 

AOL pauses.

"He'll what?" He asks slowly.

"Fix it!" I exclaim quickly. 

AOL turns to me, raising an eyebrow.

"It's true! H-he's d-done um- he's done it b-be- uhm- before!"

AOL doesn't say anything, staring at me with unblinking eyes.

I suddenly feel very dizzy. 

"He did... He did this...before...?" AOL whispers.

Oh god that's not what I wanted him to- he wasn't supposed to know about that!

"No-nononono!" I gabble quickly, waving my arms wildly.

" H-he's- he- yes but he- um- not like this but h- it's okay I- he fixed th-them after!"

AOL's face darkens, clenching his jaw.

He doesn't move for a full ten seconds.

The silence is unbearable.

He's angry again.

Why do I always make everyone angry?

'He's not gonna hit you again, is he?'

Don't think so...I think he's mad at...at the animator?

'?'

'But it was your fault?'

Yeah, your right...

So he must be mad at me then

My heart sinking and panic flaring in my chest, I do the first thing that comes to my mind.

I fling myself onto him, squeezing so tight he gasps.

He jolts back.

"THE FUCK???" He breaths.

"I-I'm sorry!" I cry. "Ple-please don't be angry!"

He pauses.

"...What?"

He sits straighter, placing two hands on my shoulders and pulling me back so out eyes meet.

He looks... confused 

That's something I like about AOL. I can always guess what he's feeling just by looking at his face.

Can't really do that to the animatior, though he's usually neutral, good mood (rarely) and angry.

My eyes fill with the easy tears, as usual. 

I wish I didn't cry so much, but the tears..they just come and I...I can't stop them.

Such a crybaby 

Bet any other animation never cry at something so stupid.

"Cho, y'mind explaing why the hell you're sorry?" Aol says slowly.

The tears spill, rolling down my cheeks.

Weak.

"Y-you were mad I- I thought um- please don't uhm- hit me again." 

My voice drops to a whisper. "It...I don't think...I c-can um...take another one..."

He winced, eyeing my cheek that seemed to have swelled up, the skin tight and uncomfortably hot. I know there's going to be a nasty bruise there by tomorrow.

"Cho I..." He swallows, looking extremely guilty, his voice cracking.

"I didn't mean to...you made me so angry I...I just-... "

"...Does it hurt?"

He lifts his hand and moves it close to my face.

I flinch back as his fingers brush against it gently.

Stings.

"A-a little bit..." I reply hesitantly .

"I didn't think...Shit, Chosen I'm sorry... didn't think it'd...leave this much... I-"

He buried his face in his hands.

"God, what did I fucking do?"

My heart aches. 

...Wait don't... don't be upset..it's not your...I was the one that...it's my fault not yours!

I latch onto his big arm and hug it, my uninjured cheek resting against it.

"Don't...it's okay...please don't be sad," I whisper.

It all feels so...so horribly familiar. I...I don't want him to feel like that... like how I did... 

So many times...

...How bad I felt...how many night I spent curled up on the black floor... crying myself to sleep...how...how lonely it all was...how did I...did I forget how horrible it felt?

I hear him inhale shakily.

"I just...just get so angry I can't control it... I...I'm so sorry Cho..."

A hand strokes my hair softly. I sigh quietly.

"It's okay, just please... stop being sad," I mumble, shutting my eyes.

"I think...I think you were right..." He mutters.

Huh?

I crack open an eye to see AOL staring into space, his hand limp in my hair.

"I really... really do act like that bastard sometimes, don't I?"He mumered, seemingly more to himself than me.

My stomach sinks.

I've made everything even worse than it was before!

Wait! I can fix it!

"It's not - your not um- the animator isn't- I- you're nice!" I stammer, stumbling over my words.

He scoffs.

"Nah, no I'm not. Nice people don't hit kids," he replied flatly.

I blink in surprise. Why does that sound so wrong? 

But I deserved it! I was being mean! What doesn't he understand??

"Think you should probably get cleaned up, your um..." He glanced at me up and down.

It was then I realised...I was still covered in horrible, dry, itchy blood. All across my face. Stained on my damp hoodie. Legs absolutely covered in the stuff.

"Right...enough with this shit," he sighs, tugging his arm free from mine and swinging his legs over the edge of the bed, standing up.

He turns to me. "We're not done talking y'hear? let's just give you bath first okay?"

I frown in confusion.

A what?

Chapter Text

I gape as AOL walks through the doorway I had previously never seen. The door blended in well with the walls, yellow, just like everything else on this room.
"You...you have another room??" 
It's not that big, probably two or three steps wide, and the ceiling is so low AOL has to bend his head to avoid hitting the ceiling. The walls were a shiny, pale yellow, and the floor had squares of white and yellow.
"Bathroom."

"What?"
"It's called a bathroom Cho"

He sets me down inside a large wooden bucket, the edges rough and sides so tall I have to crane my neck just to look out of it.
AOL claps imaginary dust off his hands and straightened.

I swallow nervously, fiddling with my hands.
"Why...am I here?" 
Is this a punishment? Will he suddenly turn around and leave and lock me in here?

He flicks a switch on the wall next to the door, and immediately a low, flickering bulb appears, spreading a soft, golden glow over the tiny room.
"Bath. Need to get all that blood off you," he says nonchalantly.
I pull one knee (cause the other one is um...not really...there anymore) and hug it close to my chest. Instinctively, I pull a hand up to my mouth and nibble my knuckles anxiously.
AOL stares into space for a moment, before blinking and looking at me, frowning when he sees my hand in my mouth.
"Stop that."
I drop it straight away, afraid to make him mad again.
"Whats... what's a bath..?" I squeak, flushing as my voice sounds so horribly pathetic.
He pause.
My heart starts beating faster. 
Did I say the wrong thing???
Is he gonna hit me??
"Ah yeah...you don't know what that is...tch." he scratches the back of his neck awkwardly, before moving towards a wall on his right, pointing at a grey tubish thing sticking out of the wall and curving downwards, a know at the top of it.

"See this?"
I nod.
"That's a tap, okay? And look, when I turn the knob-"
My eyes widen as water starts dripping down the tap, slow at first but gradually growing into a steady flow.
AOL kicks another bucket under it, a smaller one with a jug inside it, and the water began to fill slowly.
"Bath is just when you...er... basically when you throw water on yourself so all the dirt comes off."

I blink and look up at him.
"So...your going to throw water on me?"
He grins.  "Yup."
I pick at my skin anxiously.
"But I don't...don't want my hoodie to get wet..." I say hesitantly.
To my surprise, he doesn't get angry, merely shrugs and says "You gotta take it off first."
I shift uncomfortably, hugging my knee tighter and clenching my hoodie sleeves in my arms.

"What's wrong?" He asks softly.
Should I tell him...? What if gets mad? What if he hits me? What if...what if he kicks me out?!
But...he did seem to regret hitting me before... maybe he won't be mad?
And he does sound so...so nice...and safe...
"I don't...don't wanna take it off."
I clamp my eyes shut, bracing myself for yelling, and possibly another slap but... nothing?
"That thing's filthy Cho, I'll was it and give it back later, yeah? Just take it off and throw it in that corner over there," he points to the corner opposite where I was.

Oh...is that it?
Hesitantly, I unzip the hoodie and it falls into a rumpled pile in the bucket. I pick it up and heave it out of the bucket. It hits the floor, the zip making a tiny clink against the smooth tiles.
AOL turns the tap knob and the water flow halts abrupty.
The bucket underneath it was full, the jug inside floating idle, small circles
"Took it off? Great!" He smiled and crouched down so we were eye to eye.

"You still need to tell me what the bastard did to your leg, y'know that yeah?" He reminds me, his eerie smile stretching wider, patting by head.
I freeze, a shiver running through my spine as the cold air hits my bare shoulders.
"He'll fix it- I'm sure he'll fix it!" I mumble quickly, shrinking back in the bucket.
AOL inhaled slowly, the smile disappearing from his face as he looked over my battered and bruised body, lines of faint purple and blue covering my arms, ribs and back.
"God Chosen... What's wrong with that monster...." 

I avoid his eye, fighting the urge to bite my hands again.
He exhaled heavily and turned away 
"He's not a monster..." I mumble under my breath.

He's just... angry sometimes.
I get angry too, so really, I'm not much better.

AOL, apparently not having heard the last part, drags the bucket of water close and grabbing the jug, he fills it and-
Splash!
WHAT ON EARTH IS THAT?!
"C-C-COLD!" I gasp, hair falling a dripping mess over my face.
I hug my arms and tremble as the icy water bites into skin, goosebumps popping up all over my arms.
Something rough and kinda...squishy? is rubbed over my legs, scraping off the dried blood.
It... hurts...sort of...

Another bucket of water is dumped over my head.

Gasping, I kick out wildly, fighting to get out off the bucket but the walls are too wet, too slippery to get a good grip and AOL keeps pushing me back down, rubbing some sort of yellow sponge over my body.

I don't...I don't like this!

Yet another jug of water is thrown onto my head.

Stop it!

The sounds jump off the walls and ring straight through my ears.
I whimper, hands clapping over them.
They feel like they might burst open.
It's... it's too cold... and loud...and the sponge is scraping my skin raw... It's...it's too much!
"STOP IT!" I cry, voice cracking.

Immediately, the sounds and scraping stops.
I could have cried in relief.

I stiffle another whimper as I curl up into a ball, shaking, my hair an uncomfortably heavy and wet mess, weighing my head down like a chain ball.
"What?! Is your leg hurting???" AOL asked frantically, brows furrowed in confusion.
"I...I don't want a bath!" I whisper.
"You're filthy Chosen!"
I shrink back. "I know I know but...I don't like this...it's too...too wet..."
AOL studies my face for a moment.
I clutch my arms, head starting to pound.
"Lemme just finish getting the blood off, yeah?"

I shake my head frantically and curl up tighter.
"No no no! I don't want it!"

"I'll be quick, I swear!"
"Noooo!-"
AOL grabs onto my arm and I bite back a scream, his touch  burning into my skin.
I try tugging it back with no results as he scrubbed the dried red off my raw, aching arms, redish brown water dripping down my arms and my bucket filled with the same kind of water.
Tried kicking the bucket. Tried screaming for him to stop.
Didn't work.

In the end, I just sobbed into my hands, hiding my face in overwhelming shame.
My whole body felt so hot and stinging, my hair like bricks over my neck, head pounding furiously and sending jolts of pain through my forehead.
My eyes are fuzzy and achy from all the crying.

"It's literally just a bath Chosen!" AOL tries to calm me down, patting a particularly sensitive spot on my back.
I flinch away, letting out a quiet whine and hugging my arms close to my chest.

It...it doesn't hurt...not much but...but it's too much! Too many noises, too many feelings-! I can't...I can't take it!

"Look, I bet you're just a bit on edge after everything thats happened, yeah?" He asks gently, voice so calm and soothing for a moment I'm shocked.

Is this even still AOL?
I sniff and wipe my tears away with the back of my hand.

"Let's get ya back into bed, ay?"
Before I know what's happening, he's scooped me up in a greyish, worn towel and carried me to the bed, setting me down and dropping the blanket around my shoulders like a safe cocoon.
It's nice against my shivering, smarting body and I pull it closee around my sopping wet body.
He dries my hair quickly with the towel and proceeds to chuck a long sleeved white jumper at me.
"Put that on." 

I blink, momentarily disoriented, before slipping it over my head and feeling decidedly better compared to how I felt in the bath.
"Just um, stay there, an I'll deal with you're hoodie, okay?"
I nod, snuggling into the blanket and lying down in my side, curling up and placing my head underneath my hands.

The bathroom door shuts. The sound of water against floor echos into the room faintly.
I shut my eyes and let out a pained sigh.

This feels...so nice...
The water cuts off abruptly.
The door opens.

"Chosen?"
"Yeah?" I mumble, yawning.
"What's this I found in you pocket?"
Hm? 
I crack open an eye.
AOL's standing in the bathroom doorway, holding up...my tab?

Ohhhhhh
That's where it was!

Chapter Text

"So er...that's a...a website that lets you talk to them outernet sticks?" AOL asked, raising am eyebrow and shifting closer to me on the bed.

I nod enthusiastically.

He points to the small bell in the corner of the screen that was red.

"I think you got a message-"

"REALLY?!!" I squeal, almost dropping the tab.

AOL grinned, tapping on the bell.

"Okay...seems to come from an account called icecone_supreme..."

He snorted. "What a name"

I bounce up and down on the bed, making it shake, a huge smile glowing across my face.

I'm going to have a friend! A real stick figure friend!!!!

"You're... happy," AOL comments, nudging me teasingly.

I flap my arms up and down and my smile widens further. 

"I-I CAN'T BELIEVE IT'S HAPPENING!?"

"Chill kid, it's just another stick"

"YEAH BUT- BUT THEIR GONNA BE A STICK FIGURE LIKE ME!"

He raised an eyebrow. "And?"

I tug at his arm. "You don't get it! ANOTHER STICK FIGURE!!" 

"I... I've always kinda wantes to meet one," I add on a quieter note.

I hadn't... hadn't realised how much I've wanted this. 

Just...just imagine... someone that looks like me...talks like me...thinks like me... it'd be perfect!

"Okay, first message!" AOL rubbed his hands together and opened a chat.

"Need help reading?"

I shook my head. " I can read!"

AOL seemed surprised. "Damn, really? What about writing?"

I pause.

"I...I dunno actually..."

"So...should I help... You write?"

I nod gratefully, hugging his arm.

He rolls his eyes though his eyes betray a hint of joy sparkling in his orange pupils.

"Kay...so the stick wrote:

'Hiya, names Marc :)'

'Wanna be friends?' "

AOL scratched the back of his neck. "That's...that's it? That's all you gotta do to get a friend...?"

He turns to me. "You lucky-"

"Cho...? You good?"

I wipe away the tears, giving him a big, teary smile before throwing myself onto him, arms wrapping around his waist.

"HE WANTS TO BE FRIENDS WITH ME?!?!" I shriek happily.

"HE ACTUALLY- I WON'T- HE- I- AOL!!!"

AOL . "Glad you're happy Cho, about time something good happened, specially after..." His voice trailed off.

I tense.

He glances at me, guilt written all over his face."Sorry Cho-"

"Don't...It's fine..." I mumble. I hate that word so much.

---

Marc: 'so u like sports or anything?'

U?

What's...ohhh, that's clever!

I turn to AOL for help. "Do I?"

He stares at the screen for a moment before typing out, 

'haven't seen any'

He looked at me, raising an eyebrow as if to ask if that was good and I nod quickly.

I'm so excited I can't sit still, fidgeting and squirming in the bed.

Marc: 'Ah k, gotcha'

Marc: ' so whadya do all day inside a pc?'

I pause thoughtfully.

"Tell him I play with you- oh, and the animator, he plays too but he hurts me sometimes and-"

"Dunno if you should tell him that last part," AOL said, giving me a side glance.

I stare up in confusion. 

"Why not?"

"Normal sticks usually don't um...they aren't really comfortable with violence. Makes them feel bad. He might stop talking to you-"

"NONONONO- FORGET I SAID ANYTHING!" I shriek, clenching his arm.

"Damn, chill!"

"Imma just tell him you...you uh...what do you do all day?"

"I...I play with you?"

"M'kay, so should I write, plays with older brother?"

I frown. "What's a brother?"

AOL stares at me. 

I blink back.

"...I'll... I'll tell ya later" He muttered, shaking his head 

He typed 'i like to play with my big brother...'

He paused.

"AOL sounds weird," he murmurs.

"How about Owen?" I pipe up.

His eyes light up. "Oh cool! An actual name!"

"Owen sounds nicer than AOL," I comment.

He grins.

"It really does."

"What kind of name is AOL anyway?" I ask.

He e shrugs. " I dunno, but I hate it."

---

"And that's the sound of every letter."

"Woah...so the animator doesn't... doesn't just type in random letters in the documents?"

AOL chuckled. "Pff, No! is that what you thought??"

I sit silent for a moment.

AOL's expression shifts and he places a hand on my shoulder.

"Everything good?"

My fingers tug at the carpet strands and I bite my lip.

"That's why he was so mad..." I mumble.

AOL frowns. "Who? Noogai?"

I nod, sniffing as tears start to well up in my eyes.

Again? Why am I such a crybaby?

AOL scowls. "What hapened-Was it recent?!"

I shook my head, mumbling, "N-no, long time ago he...he got mad cause I...I destroyed his document by accident."

I hug my arms and stare at the carpet.

"He w-was so m...mad and I never...never really understood why. Not until now..."

AOL gazes at me for a moment, as if trying to find the right thing to say.

He edges closer so our legs touch and pushes my head down so I'm leaning against him and nuzzling into his greyish white sweater, the fabric making my face itchy, the faint smell of soap still lingering on it.

"Did...did he do...do something to you?" AOL asked hesitantly, a hand combing through my hair.

I shut my eyes slowly and lean into him farther, enjoying the soft, steady strokes that send tingles through my body.

It makes me feel so...

Safe... and warm... loved maybe

Thinking back to when I destroyed his work, which I honestly feel terrible about after realising how much work it actually takes, I wrack my brains, trying to figure out what punishment, if any, he had given me.

I think.

And think.

And think.

?

It's...it's like...like there's big, gaping holes in my mind...

I frown, trying my hardest to remember. 

I was...was crying...and scared... But after that, everything goes foggy, like a dream.

"I...I can't remember...why can't I remember?" I whisper.

Clutching my head, I try again.

Why can't I recall what happened?? What's wrong with my mind?! It only happened a couple months ago! How could I forget?

I remember... remember feeling sick...hands trembling...cursor coming on and...and...

...AND?????

"WHATS WRONG WITH ME???" I burst out, voice high and panicked.

"WHY DON'T I REMEMBER?!"

AOL pulled me closer and his arm wrapped around my shoulders, squeezing comfortingly.

"Maybe you're just tired?" He says softly. "Who needs those shitty memories anyway."

I sniff, looking up at him with wide eyes.

He gives a small smile.

"Play checkers?" He suggested.

I nod gratefully.

AOL's the best.

Chapter Text

I...I want AOL to come back

He left me in the...the canvas...in the dark and I...I really don't want the animator to find me...

I pull my good leg up to my chin and rock back and forth slowly.

The canvas floor is still stained with a brownish red, and in the corner of my eye I can see my chain ball on the side, surrounded in a pool of blackish red and...and a small black line attached to the end of the chain.
I feel sick, quickly averting my gaze.

The end of my amputated  knee starting to tingle.

Pushing away the horrible memories, I focus on the leg itself.
Something... anything to distract myself.
It's weird, losing half my leg.
I feel like it's still there sometimes.
Yesterday I tried to get out of bed, forgetting that I can't exactly stand by myself.
Thankfully, AOL caught me by my hood before I hit the ground.
He washed my hoodie and the bloody bed sheets too, so now they smell like soap... everything kinda smells like soap in his place actually.
I like the smell of soap.
It feels nice too, my hoodie that is. The white parts were cleaned completely of the blood so now it feels kinda just like how the animator gave it to me, only a little more worn with a few holes here and there.

I stop rocking from a moment and nibble the dry skin on my lips, tearing a little off slowly, making my lip sting.
Anxiety churns in my stomach, my hands weak and trembly.

Why did I persuade AOL to leave me here?
Why didn't I just keep my stupid mouth shut and stay with him in the soft, warm, safe bed?

Though...the animator will fix me now. He can't fix me if I was still in AOL's room...

It's...it's really cold here... And the floors so...so hard...how did I forget... forget how quiet this place is?
I surpress a shiver and chew on my hand nervously, just... waiting. Watching and waiting for...for him to come. For the giant cursor to appear and...and...
And what? 

I bite my hand harder. Probably shouldn't be doing that... AOL will be mad if he finds out but I...I don't know what else to do. Pain is a good distraction.

My stomach is in knots of anxiety, mouth dry and eyes stinging with unshed tears.
What if he...what if he's mad?
I don't want to be hurt again...I can't even run...not that I could before but at least I could try to before...and I could crawl away before- I can't do that now-i can't even hide what do I do if he starts pulling another limb off-
Nononono hes not going to do that of course he's not.
My breathing quickened, chest tightening. He'llfixmeandpatmeandlovemeandaolwillbehappyandEVERHINGWILLALLBEHAPPY-
"Cho?"
I jolt back, falling onto my side,, heart jumping in my mouth.
AOL's standing there, gazing at down me with concern. His lips curve upwards into a small smile 

"You okay?"

I stare at him, my heart still thudding against my chest.
Slowly, I nod, sitting up.

He thumps down next to me and frowns, catching sight of the bit marks on my hands. My breathing hitches and I quickly shove them behind my back.

Please dont be mad please don't please-

"You actually need to quit that y'know? Leaves horrible scars," he says, surprisingly calm.
I study his face, searching for hint of anger, waiting for him to snap, but he...he didn't?
"Why...why are you here?" I ask quietly.
"Don't got much better to do so decided to keep ya company. Until the bastard comes that is."
He looked around and his jaw clenched, pupils thinning.
"That's...alot of...of blood..." He breathes.
I avoid his eye, the tears starting to well up again.

God...how do those other sticks not cry? How do they not scream? They don't even whimper! 
I wish I was like that.
---

I think I'm going to pass out.
The animators gotten my wrist, holding me up in the air. I feel like my arms going to be pulled out of its socket.
I....I can't do this again...I really CAN'T!

Slamming my fists into the cursor, I try tugging myself free from it's iron hold, shrieking out in pain as it weighs my arm down further.
Fire shoots through my shoulder, the muscles burning and joints aching.
Sobbing, I end up clinging to the cursor with my other hand, praying it doesn't drop me onto the ground that was now stretched far below me.
From up here, I can see AOL crouching behind the taskbar. The animator can't see him, but I can.
He's staring at me, pure rage on his face as he clenches his hands together tightly.
Oh god he's mad... really mad
He doesn't... He doesn't understand! The animators good! He's nice! AOL's never seen the real, good him before! He's just so tired and he gets a little too angry but it's okay!

'Is it though?'

...I'm going to have to do a lot of explaining when I get back to his room.

The cursor lowers and places me on the ground.
I flop to the floor, clutching my throbbing shoulder joint and brushing away the tears, my cheeks hot with shame. 

'Had to be so damn weak. In front of AOL too.'

In the corner of my eye, AOL's hand twitched as though he was about to reach out to me, but I shake my head frantically.
Thee cursor prods my injured leg, seemingly curious about the bandage.
I...I wish he would stop...
A tearing sound fills the air as the cursor yanks it off.
I whimper quietly.
It hovers over the blunt end of my knee, the wound now closed over with skin, stretch marks and bright red scars covering my leg and reaching to the top of my thighs.
I look away.
It's...it's so ugly-

The floor disappeared beneath my feet.
I shriek out as I'm flipped upsidedown, dangling in the air by my normal leg.
The cursor makes a small box enclosing my ankle so I'm stuck suspended in the air, twisting and struggling against the box, desperately trying to free myself.

What is he doing?? What did I do wrong?! is this a punishment???

The cursor doesn't move, just watches me squirm and flail wildly in the air.
The frighted tears threaten to fall but I blink them away furiously.
Don't cry don't cry don't cry don't cry
'Why are you so weak?'

Eventually I stop, my arms limp beneath me, exhausted.
My chest rises and falls rapidly, heart pounding.

I turn my vision to see AOL.
Oh...oh wow...
His face is pale with rage, so angry I can see his arms shaking, eyes wide, making him seem almost crazy
Even I feel a little afraid of him.
He catches my eye and his glare softened into worry as he mouthed, 
"Should I come?"

Again, I shake my head and make an x gesture with my arms.

I'm okay...the animator doesn't look angry...and he'll fix me!
I don't need AOL.
...He might hurt AOL too anyway 

The cursor switches to a paintbrush as it advances to me.
I stiffen, horrible memories flashing through my mind of blood, of screaming, begging, pleading as he... he...
he did something to me with it...I don't remember what...but it hurts...I remember that

In an attempt to calm down, I suck in slow, uneven breathes, lifting my arms to my chest and hugging them, biting my lip so hard I taste blood.
It's okay...I'm okay...he's...he's gonna fix me...he not going to hurt me... I'm okay I'm okay I'm okay

'You'll be fine! The animator'll fix you right up!'
Hope you're right...
'Sure I am!'

The cursor floats to my leg and draws a straight, black line, around the same size as my body, maybe a little thinner, and He attached it to the end of my blunt knee.
'See? What did I tell you! All better!'
I let out a relieved gasp.
Hadn't realised it before but I...I was terrified I'd be legless forever. Now I can run! 
Oh! me and AOL should do running games at night when the animator's asleep! And I don't have to be in that stupid bed anymore! And the bandage was always really itchy so it'll be nice to-

Thump

...What was that?
'Dunno '
I look up.

"Wh...what?" I whisper, voice cracking, my bottom lip starting to tremble.
My leg...leg is still... still gone-
But he...he fixed it! Wh... why isn't it back??

The box around my ankle disappears.
I crash head first into the floor, crying out as my head cracked against the hard white floor.

Pain springs up but I barely notice it.

Was the animator always this mean? I don't remember him like this! 
I look up through the screen and see the animator frowning in confusion.

Something warm trickled down the back of my head. I try to ignore it, freezing as the cursor moves towards my leg and paints another line against it.
I try moving it. Doesn't respond.

...No 
My heart beats faster
I poke it and the line rolls to the side, completely detached from my knee.
This isn't...this isn't real - it'll work just- just keep trying!

I clutch the line and force it against my knee, ignoring the jarring pain shooting through my leg after each touch.
Frustrated, frightened tears well up.
NONONONO WHY WONT YOU WORK?? 
PLEASE!

Desperate tears flow down my cheeks like rivers and my heart is sinking.

The cursor shoots down and yanks it from my hands.
"GIVE IT BACK!" I scream hoarsely, jolting forward and clinging to what WILL be my leg with all my strength.

The cursor shakes it in the air and I go flying back, smacking into one of the walls.
I crumple to the floor, wheezing, the air knocked right out of my lungs.
The cursors shadow falls over me but I don't look up.
My vision blurs, pain echoing through my back and stabbing the back of my head.
"I...I can fix it..." I whisper, even though I know, I KNOW he won't listen. 
My vision fogs.
...But he might?
Maybe... maybe this time?

'No he won't.'
YOU DON'T KNOW THAT!
'You and I both know he won't.'
...

Click

The strange list appears above me. The cursor scrolls down.

I don't look up.
What's...what's the point of fighting?
My leg...my leg is gone...I'm going to be disabled forever.

A sob escapes my lips.
Never walk... never...never run...just...just stuck-
I finally noticed what the cursors doing.
My heart freezes.
My eyes widen, mouth going dry.

N-no this isn't - he's not-

The cursor was hovering over the horrible word that haunted my nightmares, that spiked terror through my heart, that scared me to my very core

'Are you sure you want to delete the file, 'The_Chosen_One. EXE'?'

"NO PLEASE!" I scream, falling forward and scrambled on my knees, dragging myself forward.
"I''LL DO ANYTHING PLEASE!" I gasp, sobbing hysterically.
The cursor hovered over the big red 'delete' button

Tears streaming down my face, snapping my head towards where AOL .
"DO SOMETHING AOL!" I shriek frantically, my arms quaking against my weight.
His face is white, staring at me with a look of horror in his wide eyes, completely frozen.
A blind fury took over me.
".-- .... .- -/ .- .-. ./ -.-- --- ..-/ -.. --- .. -. --. ?!"
".... . .-.. .--./ -- . !"

Click 

I freeze.

The pc goes silent.

I slowly turn to AOL, eyes wide and hands shaking.
No
He stumbled forward, hand reaching out, panic in his eyes.
No
I stretch out a trembling hand.
NO-!
Everything plunges into darkness 

---

Falling 

Falling 

Falling 

Body...in agony... being... Torn...torn apart...hurts...hurts so  much...
Like fire... eating away at...at my limbs... 
Zeros and ones hover over my disintegrating limbs, hovering above me.

I see...I see light... Above me...kinda like the canvas white...
It's...it's fading...
Wait...please...please don't go...come back...

I don't...I don't want to die...
The animator wont...won't actually leave me...right?

The light's gone.

...I thought the animator cared...

Stuck falling through this endless void, agony crawling up my arms and legs, dissolving my entire body.
Soon all I can see is blood red numbers.
Who am I trying to fool? I never NEVER believed that lie

Tears fly past my face as I suck in my last breath.

He...he left me.
The animator left me.

He's gone.
He did this.
He did this to me.
He never cared. And I knew. I KNEW

I KNEW HE'D NEVER CARE!

AND YET STILL! STILL I WAS SO STUPID! 
I still...I still tried to pretend he did. Pretend he did love me. Pretend he wouldn't actually... actually delete me.

WHY? WHY ALAN??? WHY DID YOU NEVER CARE?! WHY WAS I NEVER GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU?!

...Maybe... maybe this is for the best

No more...no more pain
Heh...
It'll... it'll finally...finally end...
I won't...won't be bad anymore...
I won't be anything anymore 

Why...why doesn't that sound so... so bad?
I never thought... thought death could be so...so peaceful 
It's... It's a welcoming thought actually 
But...

I'll miss you AOL 

I smile as my face is eaten away, bright red clouding my vision, pain so sharp my vision is blinded

But I don't care.

"You...you were the best...A... AOL..." I whisper as my mouth disappears, disintegrating into the air

So much...much better than the animator ever was...
I love you...I love you so much...
I shut my eyes slowly, barely acknowledging the burning sensation across my face as everything soon fades.

Hope you'll miss me

Chapter Text

Rename symbol to 'The_Chosen_One'?

Swoosh

Click

---
I jolt upright and gasping for air.

What happened?!
I blink, breathing heavily, my chest shuddering up and falling unevenly 
Didn't I... didn't I die? Why am I still... Is this the where we go after being deleted?? 

Looking up, I see the cursor, and behind that, the animator's blank face as the cursor lowers towards me.
I scrambled back, heart jumping to my mouth as the cursor advanced into me, it's shadow engulfing me whole.
Hiding my face with my hands I wait for everything to turn to pain, for the flames of agony to engulf me once again, for the hurt to begin.
I let out a low whine
Why couldn't I have just stayed dead-

The cursor pats me on the head before disappearing, the computer darkening and leaving me shaking in the blood-splattered canvas, staring after it shock.
Wh...what...?

My hands trembling I look down and notice something.

My...my leg is back.

My hoodie has vanished, leaving me shivering in the freezing pc, hugging my bare arms to my chest.
G...god...that was scary...

Wait...huh?
The scars...they're gone...
I run my tongue over my teeth and discover my broken tooth is normal now too
What?

A thought hits me.
...I'm alive
I can walk again... I can touch things...I can feel things, I can....can live again

I'm alive
I'm alive

I'M ALIVE!
I let out a short, tearful laugh, rocking back and forth in relief.
I'M FREAKING ALIVE!

A soud catches my ears, kinda like someone... someone sniffing?

What was that?
I turn my head wildly in the source direction.
AOL is kneeling with his back turned to me, his head bowed and his back shakes up and down rapidly like...like he's sobbing?!

I freeze.
AOL...AOL can't be- he's not...he's not actually cr-crying is he?
My heart aching, I stumble to my feet and approach quietly, pausing right behind him.

Hesitantly, I  place a hand on his shoulder.
AOL jolts, snapping his head around.

Our eyes lock.

My breath hitches as I see his bloodshot eyes, tears rolling down his cheeks and face ashen white. 
His mouth drops open and his pupils widen.
"Y-you good?" I whisper, my voice trembling.

He stares at me like he can't believe what he's seeing, croaking out a shaky, "Ch-Chosen?"
I my mouth stretched into a small, tearful smile. "I'M BACK- hrn!?"
He jolts forward and crashes into me.
We both go toppling to the ground, his crazed laughter ringing through the pc and he squeezed me so tight I can barely breath.
"YOU B-BASTARD!" He gasps between laughs.
"YOU ABSOLUTE BASTARD I THOUGHT Y-YOU FUCKIN DIED!"
"I did too!" I wheeze, a huge smile spreading across my face.

"H-HOW DID YOU- Y'KNOW WHAT, I DON'T CARE! DON'T EVER FUCKING SCARE ME LIKE THAT AGAIN Y'HEAR!?" He almost screams.

"OKAY OKAY! YOUR CHOKING ME!" I cough weakly.

Reluctantly, he loosened his hold and sat upright, still clinging to me like his life depended on it, clutching me close to his chest and wrapping his large arms around me like he was afraid I might disappear again.

"Please... please don't leave me like that again Cho," he whispered.
I look up. His face is pale, tight with anxiety mixed with relief.
"I...I can't go back to before..." He mumbles under his breath, so quiet I barely heard it.

?

"Before what?"
He freezes, his face revealing he said too much and abruptly blurting out,
"Nothing."

I frown, puzzled, before pushing the thought to the side.
I wanna know what he meant by what he just said but I...I can't right now!
I'm just...just so happy to be alive!

I never realised AOL cared this much about me!

"AOL?" I pipe up
"Mh?"
"Can we...can we please play checkers?"

He chokes, staring at me like he can't believe what he just heard.
"YOU JUST DIED!?" 
I giggle, the absolute comical expression of horror on his face too much to keep in. "Yeah but I'm bored now. Can we? Pleeasaase?"
I'm not really bored, I just want to spend time with him, want to hear him laugh, want to... Want to be happy with him.
Something... something to take my mind of the animator.

I can't... can't believe he actually left me...yes I can.
Of course he would.
Why wouldn't he? Not like he ever cared
But guess what?
AOL cares. 

I don't need you Alan, not anymore.

'CHOSEN WHAT ARE YOU SAYING?! HE'S THE ANIMATOR-'
Shut up Sebastian, he just killed us.
'BUT HE BROUGHT YOU BACK! YOU SHOULD BE GRATEFUL HE DIDN'T-'
Didn't what? Leave me to die?
'YE-'
He's the one that sent me there! 
All he's ever done is hurt me! I don't care if he played with me, or if he fixes me after a beating because he's the only reason I was ever broken in the first place! At least AOL has the decency to apologise!

What does the animator do?That's right, 
NOTHING
NOTHING NOTHING NOTHING 
HE DID NOTHING BUT HURT ME
AND I'M SICK OF TRYING TO GET HIM TO CARE, SICK OF WAITING FOR HIM TO APOLOGISE FOR HURTING ME! HOPING, WISHING, BEGGING HE WOULD JUST LISTEN FOR ONCE! 
'...'
'But he made you.'

"Chosen...? Why are you crying?"

I look up, sniff and cling onto AOL, my face burying into his shirt.
"AOL... Can I ask you something?"
A hand strokes my back.
"Sure Cho, whad'ya need?"
"...is it...is it bad to hate the animator? I-I don't hate him but I...I don't really like him either-"
A finger tilts my head up so our eyes meet.
"Chosen, look at me. That bastard has done nothing but beat, starve and torture you! You, a...a goddamn child!" He voice wobbles.
"And I...I didn't help much, did I? God Chosen, I'm sorry for...so sorry for just making everything so much worse-"
"NO! YOU MADE EVERYTHING BETTER!" I blurt out, cutting him off.
His eyes widen and he looks taken aback.
Tears well up in my eyes, a pain aching inside my chest and my throat raw.
"Your...your the only reason I...I wanna live." I give a teary laugh. He sucks in a shaky breath.
"When I was falling in the dark void after the animator deleted me, I wanted...I thought I wanted to die-"
"DON'T SAY THAT!"
"WAIT! I'm not done! At first I wanted it... thought it would finally end... thought I could finally rest."
AOL's body starts trembling, arms wrapping around me tighter.
"But I...I thought of you and I...I got sad. I don't want to leave you here because I...Your the only one who's ever been nice to me. I love you AOL. More than my hoodie. More than checkers. More than the animator"
I hug him.
"I love you!"

He grasps at me, his chest shuddering up and down like he was crying again.
"Damn... Cho...?" He whispered in disbelief.
He swallowed.
"I..."
"I love you too"

...H-he said it.
He actually... actually SAID IT!

I burst out into sobs, laughing and crying at the same time.
SOMEONE LOVES ME
SOMEONE ACTUALLY LOVES ME!
I'M... I'M NOT ALONE ANYMORE 
HE CARES
AOL CARES!

We sit like that, hugging and holding each other, for what felt like forever.
I wish I could stop time and stay like this forever.

Eventually, he carried me back to his room, we played rounds of checkers, giggling and arguing at each other when one of us lost.

I even managed to win once! 
AOL wasnt happy. Hehe.
Slapped the board across the room.
But we both cracked up again and picked up the pieces.
One rolled under the bed and into a hole in the wall. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't reach in far enough to get it. My arms are too short.

He tucked me into bed and as my eyes slowly shut, I can't help but feel like being alive isn't not so bad anymore. 
Not if AOL's here
I can take whatever the animator does to me as long as he's here.

I'm...I'm safe

Safe and sound 

---
Extra: 

I stroke Chosen head until I see his eyes drop shut, his breathing slowing into a steady rhythm, and only then do I dare stand up and move towards the desk, sitting down carefully in the chair and opening the laptop.
Waiting for the screen to load, I slouch forward slowly, pinching my nose.

The laptop loads and click the writing tool, clicking over the file titled 'diary'

I'm a fucking parent now, aren't I?
Nah, brother at best.

I smirk.
Stretching my fingers, I start typing 

'dear diary'

'Chosen's gotten attached to me. And I gotta admit, I do kinda love that kid.'
'Guess I won't need that code anymore.'
I pause, staring at the screen.
'What a waste, years of working on something only to give up on it now. Ah well, not like there had been anything better to do. Noogai is a fucking monster and I'm going to makes sure he pays for how much he made us suffer. Probably delete some files and frame it as a virus or something.'
'Though...I can't really blame him that much, can I? With his parents fighting every other day, must be rough. And I know he wants their love, though his neglectful bastards of parents won't ever give it. Shouldn't have ever had kids in the first place to be frank. What's the point of having a child if your going to make them suffer?'
'Still, he can't get away with this. Can't torture a goddamn child just cause his dad slapped him, or that his mum screamed that she hated him and for him to get out of her house that one time.'
'Now that I think about it, Noogai and Chosen aren't that different. Both want love, both want acceptance from people that'll never give it to them.'
'Kinda sad.'
I breathe out slowly, glancing over my shoulder to make Chosen was still asleep before continuing to type.
'Chosen won't have to live like this much longer. Neither of us will hopefully. Just gotta find a way to get out of this goddamn awful pc and I'll finally-'

I frown, deleting the last two words.

'we'll finally be free.'
'We...heh, that...that sounds nice.'