Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Buck didn’t get much sleep that night. He just couldn’t get Eddie’s words out of his head. 

Bothering everybody…

Pressing your needs onto others…

Making this all about yourself… 

Exhausting…

He just couldn’t make it stop. 

He had eventually fallen into a light sleep, but it was broken by the sounds of Eddie moving around the next morning. He wasn’t loud, it was obvious that Eddie was trying to be quiet, but it turned out the walls of this house were a lot thinner than Buck had realized. 

Eventually the sound of the front door closing echoed throughout the house, and all the rummaging sounds ended. Buck waited another ten or so minutes before getting out of bed himself. 

Buck walked out of the bedroom and the first thing he saw was the folded blanket and sheets on the couch. There was a paper note on top of it. 

‘Gone to the airport. 

• Eddie’

Buck blinked down at it as he read it again… and again… and again… 

Did Eddie just leave like that? A heated argument and he leaves? Just like that? Not even a goodbye? Just a folded blanket and a note? 

He guessed Eddie made up his mind on the El Paso job then. Wished he would have told him he was leaving. 

Buck shook his head as he dropped the piece of paper back on the couch and turned to walk to the bathroom. He needed a shower, a chance to clear his head and decide what he was going to do today. 

He took his shirt off, pulling it over his head and shoulders and dropping it on the floor to be picked up later. Turning to the sink, he froze when he saw the dark bruises across his chest and going up to his shoulder. 

He blinked his eyes, bringing a hand up and prodding at the discoloration, letting a slight wince escape in the privacy of the bathroom. 

This was- it couldn’t be… 

But when he had gotten off shift the morning before, his skin looked nothing like this, and nothing had happened in the past forty eight hours or so to cause this. Well, other than… 

But that couldn’t be. 

He didn’t remember Eddie pushing or grabbing hold of him that hard. Maybe with his mind all in the moment and adrenaline coursing through him… maybe he missed it. 

Still… 

Eddie… 

Eddie did this to him? 

He stripped his shorts off and then stepped into the shower. Closing his eyes as he let the water pour over him. It relieved some of the tension he had been holding, but did nothing to help the bad feelings and words bouncing around his head. 

He just wished they would stop. 

Buck wasn’t sure exactly what happened once he got out of the shower. He got dressed, he went to the kitchen and grabbed one of the croissants he bought yesterday, he didn’t remember eating it though. 

Next thing he knew, he was in the driver’s seat of his Jeep, at the intersection at the end of his street, stopped at the stop sign. 

Then he was no longer at the stop sign, but parked across from Tommy’s house. Buck had zoned out again. First last night, now in the Jeep. That couldn’t be a good thing, he told himself. But he was here. 

He was here - in front of Tommy’s house. 

How had he gotten here? 

And why had he come here? 

The last time he came here felt like forever ago. At least before the breakup, and considering they spent most of their time at Buck’s old loft considering it central location, he wasn’t sure how far before then he had been here. 

He was surprised he had remembered the way, especially from Eddie’s place. 

Well, he was here now. Something in his subconscious must have wanted to see Tommy. But that wasn’t all that surprising, he had wanted to spend time with Tommy since they had broken up, and that was a constant thought at the front of his mind. 

Or at least it was, until Bobby died. 

He should probably go knock on the door, he told himself. If he had come all the way out here… 

But he couldn’t, he also told himself. They’d only spoken to each other once since the funeral, and hadn't seen each other since then. Tommy was probably… he was probably handling everything fine. The last thing Tommy needed was for Buck to show up at his door needing someone to comfort him. 

Making this all about yourself…

He couldn’t go up there, he told himself again. But also…

He couldn’t find it in himself to leave. 

He didn’t know how long he sat there, sitting across the street from Tommy’s house, watching it. Tommy’s truck was parked in the driveway, so he was most likely home. But Buck was still scared. Scared of what? He didn’t know. Whatever Tommy’s reaction might be, maybe. Buck didn’t know what would happen if there was a repeat of what happened with Eddie last night. 

Although with Tommy, Buck doubted that would happen. Tommy did have a habit of leaving before conversations got too deep or heated. But they were at Tommy’s house this time, so who knew what the man would do. 

They hadn’t spoken or seen each other since the funeral last week. Buck had meant to check in on the other man, really, he had. 

But life just had a way of getting in the way. 

Buck worked up the courage and got out of the Jeep, slowly walking up Tommy’s driveway to his front door. He gave it three firm knocks. And then he waited. 

Tommy opened the door, and blinked his eyes in surprise as he saw Buck standing there.

“Evan,” he said. “What-”

“C- Can I come in?” Buck asked, twisting his hands in his pockets as his eyes trailed down to his feet, not wanting to look at Tommy’s face and see his reaction. 

Tommy must have seen something wrong with him, for he took a step back and opened the door further. “Um- sure,” he said. “Come in.” 

Buck took a step inside and paused, just standing there, looking at Tommy’s place. The place looked exactly the same, and completely different at the same time. There was the same furniture and decorations. But Buck could see the bookshelf had been reorganized from where he stood, and the wall Tommy said he had been meaning to paint for years was finally a different color. 

“Is everything okay?” Tommy asked, looking at him with eyes filled with worry. 

Buck didn’t say anything, couldn’t when he didn’t exactly know what ‘okay’ was right now. He shrugged his shoulders, holding back a wince as he felt a small spike of dull pain stab in the left. 

Tommy didn’t miss his small change in expression though. “Did you get hurt?” he asked. 

“N- no,” Buck said, giving a small shake of his head. 

Tommy just gave him a look as he crossed his arms, studying Buck. “Where?” he asked. 

“Wha-”

“Where are you hurt?” Tommy rephrased the question. 

“Shoulder,” Buck said, looking back down and to the side. 

“Did you have someone look at it?” Tommy asked. 

Buck shook his head. “No.” 

“Would you mind if I looked at it?” Tommy asked, concerned and just… wanting to know Buck didn’t have something that could wind up being a serious injury. 

Buck shrugged, grimacing slightly. “Sure,” he said. 

They both walked into Tommy’s kitchen, and Buck pulled out one of the chairs at the table and sat down on it. He pulled off his shirt, grimacing as a dull pain sounded from his shoulder. He hadn’t felt that last night, Ghad barely felt it this morning. But the longer time had gone on, the more noticeable it was growing to be.  

Tommy looked at him in surprise as he saw the purpling skin right below Buck’s collarbone stretching to the skin above the bony part of his shoulder. 

“What kind of call gave you this injury?” Tommy asked. 

Buck was silent for a long moment, looking down at his hands resting in his lap. “It wasn’t a call,” he answered Tommy. 

“Wasn’t a… Then what happened to cause a bruise like this?” Tommy asked again. 

Buck bit his lip and gave his head a small shake before abruptly standing up, making Tommy lean backwards. “You know what- um… sorry,” Buck said, stumbling over his words. “I shouldn’t- I shouldn’t have come over here without telling you beforehand… you probably had plans or something that I ruined- sorry.” 

Buck made his way, skirting quickly around Tommy and towards his front door. He was just about to grab his shoes when Tommy reached out to him and grabbed his good shoulder lightly. “Hey, Buck-” he said, but cut himself off when he noticed the minute flinch that Buck had. 

Buck whirled around again, his eyes wide as saucers. 

“I-” 

“Sorry,” Tommy said hurriedly as he took a step back. 

Buck took a heaving breath, as his body slowly relaxed. “I… I…” Buck stuttered over his words, having no idea what to say. 

“Are you sure you’re okay?” Tommy asked, his voice filled with nothing but concern. Concern for Buck. 

But Buck didn’t need concern. He needed… He needed…

Buck didn’t know what he needed. He didn’t know why he came here in the first place.  

“I’m sorry,” Buck said again. “I’m sorry, I’m-” 

Tommy took a step back, raising his arms in a way to show Buck he wasn’t a threat. “Hey, it’s okay, really. You don’t have to apologize for anything.” 

Buck let out a breath, falling back against the front door. He was silent for a moment, taking a couple deep breaths. 

Tommy lowered his arms. “Have you eaten anything today?” Tommy then asked. 

“N- no,” Buck said. 

“How about I whip something up,” Tommy said as he turned around and started walking to the kitchen. “Get you some ice for your shoulder as well.”

Buck remained there for a couple seconds as Tommy walked away, then he stood back up and followed after the other man. Tommy was pulling stuff out of his fridge as Buck walked into the kitchen, a carton of eggs, a pack of bacon, a milk carton. He handed Buck a frozen bag of corn. 

It only took ten minutes for Tommy to cook up a nice sized breakfast, although when he slid a plate over to Buck, he couldn’t help but notice the still distressed and bothered look on his face. Although he could tell Buck was trying to hide it somewhat. 

Late breakfast completed without either of them saying much, and it looked like Buck was in no interest of saying anything afterwards, certainly nothing about what brought him to Tommy’s house today. 

Later, it was as Tommy walked back in from his garage after doing some work on his neighbor’s car  that he heard the ring of Buck’s cell phone go off. He watched out of the corner of his eye as Buck took a quick glance at the phone’s screen to see who was calling him, then immediately pressed the side button to reject the call. 

“Who was that?” Tommy asked. 

“No one,” Buck said as he fiddled with the phone some more and then slid it into his pocket. “Just one of those spam callers.” 

Right… Tommy didn’t continue to question him, instead just grabbing two plates out of the top cabinet. If Buck didn’t want to talk about it right now, he wasn’t going to push him. 

He had figured Buck had come over to his place to get some space from everyone, and he certainly looked like he needed it. At least for tonight Tommy wasn’t going to push him. 

They were on their third movie of the night, it was close to 11 p.m. It was some superhero movie that Tommy had lost track of the name of. Some guy had just been thrown through a building when Buck spoke up. 

“Eddie did it.” 

Over the sounds of explosions and crashes coming from the TV, Tommy had almost missed what Buck had said. He turned his head to the left to look at Buck. “What was that?” he asked. 

Buck was silent for a while, long enough that the movie had moved away from the fight scene and Buck had sunk further into the couch. 

“Eddie did it,” Buck said again. 

Tommy was confused. “Eddie did what?” Tommy asked, his voice echoing his befuddlement. 

Buck brought a hand up and gave the hurt shoulder a squeeze. “The bruises,” he said softly. “Eddie made them.”

Tommy felt like the world had been pulled out from under him upon hearing that sentence. Eddie hurt Buck? But why? How? 

From everything Tommy knew and was told, they were the best of friends. Had been for years. Sure, he knew Eddie had a tendency to make some downright weird decisions, but to hurt Buck? 

Buck continued speaking before Tommy could even ask ‘why.’

“We got in- got in an argument last night. I don’t even remember how it started or what it was about really,” Buck said. “Next thing I knew, he had his hand around my shoulder and was holding me up against a wall.”

Tommy froze as Buck told the story, a chill passing down his spine and through his limbs. Buck continued. “Right after that, he let me go, and we just… went into different rooms, I think. I just went straight to bed. He left early this morning. And when I went to take a shower, I saw them.” 

“Does anyone else know about this?” Tommy asked. “What he did to you?” 

Buck slowly shook his head. “You were the first person I came to,” he said. “The others have been texting me all day, I haven’t responded. The phone call earlier… that was Eddie. I just turned my phone off after that.”

Tommy sat forward on the couch, leaning down, elbows on his knees, he ran his hands through his hair as he let out a long breath through his teeth. 

“Sorry I didn’t tell you earlier,” Buck mumbled. “I can- I can leave if you want me to. I know you probably don’t want to be dealing with all of this right now.”

Tommy sat back up and looked towards Buck. “You don’t need to leave,” he said. “I meant what I said earlier, you can stay as long as you want.” 

Buck was silent for a second, then nodded. “If you don’t mind, can I stay a couple days?”

“Like I said, it’s fine,” Tommy said. 

Buck spent the night sleeping on Tommy’s couch, Tommy had been about to offer him his guest bedroom, but he had fallen asleep before the end of the movie, and no matter how much Tommy poked him, Buck was dead to the world.

They both woke up early the next morning. They both had shifts that day. 

“Are you sure you want to go into work?” Tommy asked as Buck chewed on a piece of toast. 

“Um…” Buck nodded his head and chewed the toast. It probably wasn’t the best idea for things to do today. He didn’t even have any of his stuff he usually took to work with him, his duffel bag still at his house. And looking at the time, he wouldn’t be able to go home to get it and get to work on time. But he did always have an extra uniform in his locker, so it wasn’t the end of the world. 

Tommy still looked conflicted. He still had never gotten the full story on everything that led Buck to showing up at his doorstep yesterday looking half out of his mind, not wanting to respond to any of his family’s texts and calls, a giant bruise covering half his chest, and the news that Eddie of all people had caused it. 

“I’ll be fine,” Buck said. “Don’t worry.”

That did nothing to calm Tommy. “Just promise you’ll call me if you need to,” he said. 

Buck nodded, he reached out and drew Tommy into a deep hug, surprising the other man. “I promise,” he muttered into Tommy’s shoulder.  

Chapter Text

As Buck pulled his Jeep into the parking lot of the 118, he pulled his phone out of his pocket. He had completely forgotten he had turned it off in the middle of the last evening. And powering it back on, happy that it wasn’t completely dead. Although the charge was only at 41%, which wasn’t all that good, hopefully someone else had brought an extra charger, that was usually something he left in his duffel bag. 

“Buck!” Chimney called out to him as he walked across the apparatus floor. 

Shit, he couldn’t even get to the locker room before needing to talk to someone? 

Buck stood still as Chimney ran up to him. Chimney stopped short as he realized there was something off about his brother-in-law. “You okay man?” Chimney asked, at a much more reasonable volume than when he ran up to him. “You didn’t answer any of our texts and calls yesterday.”

“Yeah,” Buck nodded curtly. “Was just… busy yesterday.” 

“O- okay,” Chimney said as Buck continued past him to the locker room. 

The start of the shift wasn’t that insane, or not insane at all really. About fifteen minutes after shift change, they were called out to a car fire in the parking lot of a gym. Putting out the fire and checking over the driver was simple enough. 

As they drove back to the station, Buck caught sight of two familiar figures in the parking lot. 

“Is that Chris?” Chimney asked as he saw the two through the window. He sounded happy, excited to see the teen and Eddie. Buck wished he was. He had been wanting to see Christopher for almost a year now. But when it meant seeing Eddie as well… 

“I’m going to take a shower,” Buck mumbled and started walking towards the locker room when the ladder truck was parked and everyone got out. 

“But what about-” Hen started to ask as she saw him walking in the opposite direction of everyone else. “-Chris and Eddie?” 

Buck puttered around the locker room for a couple minutes. He didn’t actually need a shower, they hadn’t gotten nearly dirty enough on their last call to warrant one, but the last thing he wanted to do was go out there right now. He could hear everyone talking and making noise, welcoming both Eddie and Christopher back here, being happy to see them like everyone else. Like everyone else probably expected him to act. But still, Eddie was the last person he wanted to talk to right now. 

And that thought was stirring a large conflict in him. For nearly six and a half years they had been inseparable, gone through almost everything together. At least until Eddie had gone to Texas three months ago, and Buck knew the reason Eddie had to go there, he wasn’t mad at him for that. 

But just the culmination of everything that had happened in the last three months… 

Eddie might have been, no Eddie was, the tipping point in everything, but Buck just couldn’t put on a face anymore with it. 

The door to the locker room opened, and Buck looked to the right from where he was sitting on the locker room bench. 

“Oh hey, Buck,” Ravi greeted him as he walked over to his locker and grabbed something inside. “Was wondering where you were, some of the guys were looking for you.”

“Yeah? Who?” Buck asked. 

“Miller, Chimney, everybody,” Ravi said, listing off random names of people upstairs. “Oh! Chris and Eddie are here too! Did you know they were coming by today?” Ravi asked. 

“No,” Buck said, somewhat gruffly. Last he heard from Eddie, the man was going to the airport, presumably to start the job with El Paso Fire next week. What he was doing here with Christopher? Buck had absolutely no idea. 

“Did something happen between you two?” Ravi asked. “Sorry if it’s too personal but, you’ve seemed off all day.”

Buck sighed as he ran his hands through his hair, pulling at it slightly. “I’ll- I’ll be fine,” he said as he stood up and walked out of the locker room. As he did so, he brought his phone out of his pocket, seeing a message from Tommy that had come in about an hour ago. 

Tommy: Just wanted to check in and see how you’re doing.  Plz text me back when you have a chance. 

Buck didn’t know if he should be happy that someone was checking in on him and caring about his well being, or mad at himself for making Tommy feel like he had to check up on him. 

As he started typing a message back, Hen and Chimney noticed him and called him to come join everyone up in the loft. Buck sighed, he just wanted to get away from everyone right now. He should have called out sick this morning, it would have gotten some questions sure, he hadn’t called off sick since… ever really. But it probably would have saved him from this headache. 

Walking up to the top floor now was probably the slowest he had ever done in the entire time he had worked at the 118, even when he was trying to get up there using crutches after he broke his leg. 

Arriving at the top of the stairs, he found mostly the entire shift standing either around the kitchen or main table, everyone gathering around Eddie and Christopher. 

“Buck!” the teen nearly yelled out when he saw Buck at the top of the stairs. Buck saw Eddie’s attention turn over to him as well and he looked… 

The only emotion Buck could call it would be a look of relief. Relief for what? Not making Buck want to run away? Because Buck sure felt like he wanted to. 

They must have been staring at each other for long enough, because then Buck felt Chris wrapping his arms around his torso in a hug. And when did the kid get so tall? 

“I was wondering when I was gonna be able to see you,” Chris said when he finally let go of Buck. 

“Oh yeah, when did you get here?” Buck asked. 

“Yesterday morning,” Chris said and began explaining. “Dad picked us up from the airport and took us to our… or I guess your house. But you weren’t there and didn’t come back last night.”

Chris came in yesterday? Is that what Eddie meant when he said he was going to the airport? Had Eddie planned on bringing Chris to his house without even telling him? 

On one hand, he had missed the boy dearly this last year. But on the other hand… shit, really Eddie? 

“Yeah, it's… I had some stuff going on last night,” Buck said, hoping against everything that no one, Eddie, Chris, or even Chimney decided to press him on that. 

Chris stepped back slightly, smiling up at him. That innocent smile that even his teenage years hadn’t done anything to diminish. “Well we need to catch up. I have so much stuff I haven’t told you about yet.” 

Only slightly reluctantly, Buck followed the teen to the table he had been sitting at, strategically sitting in a seat that Eddie wouldn’t be able to make eye contact with him easily. Things over dinner that night surprisingly went easily… somewhat. Buck suspected that Ravi was picking something up based on the way Buck kept avoiding talking to or looking at Eddie. But thankfully he hadn’t asked about it, and no one else seemed to notice anything either. 

Eventually, things at the station settled down again. After dinner Chris and Eddie went back home, presumably staying in Buck’s house, and the entire time Buck probably spoke three sentences to Eddie. 

It was getting late, but too early for anyone to reasonably go to bed right now, so everyone was milling around, doing odd jobs around the station and trying to remain busy. This would be the perfect time to get a call if Buck was honest. 

Buck found himself sitting in the cab of one of the trucks, the only place he could find where no one else was located. Pulling his phone out and unlocking it, it showed the text screen Buck had going on with Tommy. That was right, he was just about to text Tommy back when he went upstairs. 

He started texting a message, then thought about it, erased it, and started typing another. Then did the same thing a couple more times. 

Tommy must have seen Buck bubbling him, for another text came in.

Tommy: You want to talk? 

Buck reached over and closed the door of the cab, immediately pressing the button to dial Tommy. He picked up immediately. 

“Hey, what’s-” Tommy started when Buck cut him off. 

“I thought Eddie went back to Texas,” Buck said. 

Tommy paused for a second, his mind catching up with what they talked about yesterday. “ Did he not?” Tommy asked. 

Buck let out a breath, running his hands through his hair and giving it a soft pull. “That’s what I thought… until he showed up with Chris at the station today.”

Tommy was silent for a second, long enough for Buck to need to pull the phone away from his ear to check that the call was still connected. 

“It was kind of nice, really,” Buck said eventually. “Seeing the kid one more time.” 

“ Yeah?” Tommy asked. 

Buck hummed and nodded. “Almost enough to make me forget what was going on between me and Eddie,” he said. 

They were both quiet for a while after that. 

“ Are you doing okay?” Tommy then asked. 

Buck thought on that question for a minute, chewing his bottom lip. “I guess… as well as I can be?” he said, more in the line of a question. 

“ You can always come back to my place when your shift ends,” Tommy said. 

“Yeah?” 

“ Yeah,” Tommy said. “ You’re always welcome here.”

Something about hearing Tommy say that made a warm fuzzy feeling develop in his chest. “I’ll remember that,” Buck said. 

The phone call ended shortly after that. And Buck was left feeling, slightly better than when he first brought up Tommy’s message thread. 

Slightly better didn’t mean completely though. 

He found himself scrolling through and reading random posts on r/firefighter after a while. Something about reading other people who he didn’t know rant about their problems and ask the most ridiculous questions distracted him enough to not think about his own life. 

Backing out of the post asking about whether Hot Shots was an accurate portrayal of firefighting, Buck saw one asking about what it would take for someone who recently completed their probationary year to transfer to another house in their city. 

That got Buck to thinking… 

Transferring? 

It certainly wasn’t unheard of. Most people he knew transferred at least once, maybe even twice in their first ten years as a firefighter. There was Smith and Cooper on B-shift who transferred over two months ago. Robins on C-shift who transferred to the 87 back in March, and from what Buck had heard, Robins was loving it over there. 

Then of course there was Tommy who transferred to the 217 right before Buck started at the 118. 

Buck had been here for nearly eight years now. Maybe it was time for him to try out a different place. Meet some new people, work under a different leadership style that wasn’t Bobby’s or Gerrard’s. It certainly couldn’t hurt right? 

Buck got out of the truck and walked across the station to where the station’s computers were. He pulled up the LAFD’s employee portal and logged in. He didn’t know exactly what he was looking for on this. He used it for the occasional picking up shifts and requesting leave, the latter Bobby kept getting on him to do more often, but eventually, buried under a nest of other links, Buck found the transfer request link. 

He began filling it out, and was surprised that it didn’t ask for all that much information. He didn’t really care what station they put him at, just preferably one within ten miles of his house, but who knew what Eddie had planned and how long he would be living there. 

He continued on in the application, making up some vague reasoning on wanting to gain more experience with working with other firefighters and work in different parts of the city on the part asking ‘why’ he wanted to transfer. 

Then at the bottom, it asked who his current Captain was and said the system would be sending them an automated email requesting their approval for the transfer. Buck entered Gerrard’s name and the man’s work email address. He told himself that he would talk to the man about this first thing tomorrow morning. If Buck used the right words, he doubted Gerrard would make a big deal about this, and with what he heard about the man going back to the Hot Shots set in a couple weeks, Gerrard would probably tell Buck something like this would be good for him. 

Buck stopped himself right before he pressed the submit button. Was he getting ahead of himself? Not thinking things through? He had only gotten this idea in his head… forty two minutes ago, from a reddit post of all things. 

He stared at the monitor screen long enough for a box to pop up asking if he was still there and if not, he would be automatically logged out in five minutes. 

Buck shook his head, if he thought something else in the morning, he could always rescind this, right? 

Buck pressed submit and then logged out. He made his way across the station to the bunks rooms, pulling out his phone again on the way and texting Tommy. 

Evan: Would I be crazy if I put in for a transfer?

Reaching the bunks, he climbed into his bed, for once not having any trouble falling asleep. 

He woke up from the sounds of others moving around the bunk room. Rubbing the sleep out of his eyes with one hand, the other reached to the bedside table to grab his phone. He cursed himself when he realized it wasn’t plugged into the charger, but at least it was still at 48%

The first notification on the screen were two texts from Tommy from about forty five minutes earlier. 

Tommy: Like out of the 118? 

Tommy: I know things probably aren’t the same, but is it really that bad? 

Bad… not really. At least not when it came to everyone but Eddie. And Eddie was still supposed to be going back to Texas this weekend. Everything else though… 

Evan: Everything just feels too different

Evan: If that makes any sense

Buck sat there, flicking through some other things on his phone, waiting for most of the room to clear before he got out of the bed and went to the bathroom down the hall. 

“Buckley,” he heard Gerrard’s voice call out to him as he walked out of the bathroom. Buck looked over at him. Gerrard motioned over his shoulder. “Meet me in my office,” the older man said as he turned around and started walking in that direction. 

“What does he want?” Hen asked as she walked out of the women’s bathroom at the same time he did. 

“Don’t know,” Buck mumbled as he followed after Gerrard.

“Sit down,” Gerrard said as he walked into the office, what used to be Bobby’s office. When Gerrard had taken over Bobby’s role last summer, Buck had been mad, annoyed, not wanting to respect the man at all. Now though, Buck was still mad, but for entirely different reasons. What before was anger at the man himself, now was just anger at the whole situation, at Bobby dying, at the team fracturing apart, at… just everything. 

“Why’d you call me in here?” Buck asked as he took a seat in one of the chairs opposite Gerrard’s desk. 

“Are you doing okay, Buckley?” Gerrard asked in that gruff voice of his, that for some reason felt like he had a twinge of worry.

Buck furrowed his eyebrows. “Yessir?” he said, or more like asked. “I’m doing as good as I can be.” 

“Really?” Gerrard asked. “Because I’ve been watching you, and it looks like you’ve been struggling.” And God how should it make him feel that Gerrard was the first person to be noticing it. “And then I saw this this morning,” Gerrard said as he grabbed hold of his computer monitor and spun it around so Buck could see it. It was an automated email from the LAFD’s system with his name in all caps next to the words ‘Transfer Request.’ 

Buck rubbed the back of his neck, not nervous, just simply resigned. 

“It came in at 2 a.m.” Gerrard added. 

Buck shrugged then. “Was having some trouble falling asleep,” he said. 

“And is that what this is?” Gerrard asked. “Some result of a late night having trouble falling asleep? Or did you mean to do this?” 

Buck thought about it for a second. This would be his chance to take it back. All he had to do was tell the man that, yes, this was just the result of his thoughts going haywire as he tried to fall asleep last night. But he didn’t say that. Instead…

“I meant to put it in,” Buck said. “Been thinking about it for a couple days now.” That was a lie, more like a couple hours. But Gerrard didn’t question him any more on it. 

He let out a breath as he turned the monitor back towards him. “Then if you’re sure,” he said as he met Buck’s eyes. Buck returned the stare. “Then I’ll give my approval. It will take a bit for processing, but knowing your record, any number of stations around here will be wanting to take you on. The Chief should call you in about a week.”

Chapter Text

It didn’t take a week for Chief Simpson to call him. In fact, the Chief called him in the afternoon of the following day. Buck had been in the middle of the grocery store as he got the call. After getting off shift after the meeting with Gerrard, Buck had gone back to Tommy’s house. He was still avoiding Eddie, and maybe he had been placing all of his eggs in the ‘transfer to another fire house’ basket, but if he did transfer, then Buck supposed it wouldn’t matter if Eddie decided to stay in LA or not. 

Tommy had a shift today, and after spending three days in his place, Buck felt the least he could do was buy some groceries for the man and make him breakfast tomorrow morning. He thought he was going to have a day to himself, Buck hadn’t expected Chief Simpson to call him in the middle of his shopping trip. 

“Evan Buckley,” the Chief began. “I saw that yesterday you put in a transfer request out of the 118.”

“Um… yes… Yes, I did,” Buck said, only slightly stuttering due to being caught off guard. 

He heard the Chief let out a breath. “I know the 118 has gone through a lot the past few months,” Simpson began, and boy was that statement putting it lightly. “Are you sure you want to leave now? And not wait a couple months until things start to get back to their flow again, after you get a new permanent Captain assigned?” Another way to phrase ‘a new Captain to replace Bobby.’ 

“Yeah, I’m sure,” Buck said. He didn’t want to wait around to see a new guy completely replace everything Bobby had done. Maybe Hen and Chimney had seen Captains come and go, but he didn’t want to see that. Best to see a completely new place with a completely new team. “I was thinking it would be best to see how other places run anyway.” 

The Chief let out a hum then, and Buck could hear the clicking of some keyboard and mouse buttons in the background of the phone. “There are a couple of stations that have already requested you,” he said, and based on what Gerrard said yesterday, that didn’t surprise Buck. “One of them is the 122, just two zones over from the 118. If you want, I can have you start there next Thursday.” 

Buck widened his eyes. That was a whole lot sooner than he had expected to be moved. When he first put the request in, he was under the impression it would take a month minimum. But maybe it would just make this easier if he wasn’t continuing to push the date back. Sooner better than later and all that, right? 

“That sounds great, Chief,” Buck said, fully meaning it. 

“Great,” Chief Simpson said. “I’ll put things through and give your contact information to their Captain. He’ll be in touch. You’ll work your scheduled shift with the 118 tomorrow and Monday, then you’ll be at the 122.” 

Only two more shifts at the 118. 

It sure did happen quickly, didn’t it? 

“Copy that, Chief,” Buck said. 

“Call me back if any questions come up?” The Chief added one last time before hanging up. 

Buck was left standing there, in the middle of the vegetable aisle, feeling like his life had been uprooted all at once. 

But at least this time the uprooting was his doing. Not a firetruck with a bomb planted on it, a councilwoman with a vendetta, or a lab scientist with a superiority complex. 

Something he was in control of… finally. 

So now then… where were the carrots in here? 

Buck managed to find everything, except the carrots, that was, and get back to Tommy’s house in less than half an hour. 

He was putting them all away when Tommy got back home. Buck looked over at him as he walked through the front door. Tommy looked surprised to see him standing there, but at least he didn’t look mad or annoyed, which given everything that happened over the last couple weeks, which was a large weight off of Buck’s shoulders. 

“How was your shift?” Buck asked. 

“Good,” Tommy said. “Uneventful. Thanks for grabbing groceries,” Tommy said as he walked over to the counter where Buck had a coffee pot going. “Been meaning to go for a couple days now.” 

“It’s no problem,” Buck shrugged. “Say, Do you know anyone at the 122?” Buck asked Tommy as the man poured himself a cup of coffee. 

“The 122?” Tommy repeated, his ears perking up. “I know a couple guys there. Why?” 

“That’s where Chief Simpson wants to send me,” Buck said. 

Tommy quickly turned around. “Didn’t you put in the transfer request yesterday?” he asked. 

“Yeah,” Buck said, shrugging his shoulders. “I didn’t know it would go through this quickly. Simpson said there were a handful of stations requesting me once I put it in. The 122 was one of them.” 

“Did you say you wanted to go there?” Tommy asked. 

Buck shrugged again. “I mean, I said yes. I didn’t want to be sent somewhere on the other side of the city or anything. He said I could start there next Thursday. Two more shifts at the 118.” 

“That quickly?” Tommy said, somewhat shocked. He remembered when he moved to Harbor, even after getting his pilots license and everything else approved, he still had to wait a couple months to actually start at the 217. 

“I was surprised to hear it as well,” Buck said. 

“Have you ever heard about Sal Deluca?” Tommy asked. 

“Sal Deluca?” Buck repeated, thinking for a second to see if that name rang a bell. It didn’t.  “Should I have?” 

“He used to work at the 118 too, left shortly after Bobby came in as Captain,” Tommy started to explain. “They had gotten into some sort of big disagreement, he had been really mad that the brass didn’t promote him to Captain and just brought Bobby in. Things got really heated between them. But afterwards he was sent to the 122. He’s one of their shift captains now.” 

Buck chewed on that information for a second. Not knowing exactly how to feel about possibly working under someone who got in as bad a fight with Bobby that he was forced to move to another station. 

Tommy must have figured out what thoughts were going through his head, for he said, “Don’t worry about him. Things were… complicated back then. Sal’s really a great guy.” 

Buck nodded. “I’ll take your word for it.” 

Now he just had to figure out a way to tell everyone at the 118. He couldn’t just leave them wondering what happened to him when he didn’t show up to their shift next Thursday. 

He spent the rest of the afternoon thinking up possible ways to tell them. Come out right at the start of shift? At the end of the morning briefing? Wait until the end of the shift? Just casually slip it into a conversation and see if anyone notices? Maybe he could tell Ravi at the start of shift and have him spread the rumor around to everyone? Should he tell Ravi now, before either of them get into the station tomorrow? 

Buck had no idea what he should do. 

He was thinking about it for the rest of the afternoon and evening. Thinking up possible scenarios that he knew were not going to happen. 

Tommy must have been put up with having to deal with him pacing the hallway and staring at random points at the wall, for he pulled him into a hug and then dragged him into the living room, pulling him down onto the couch to sit next to him. 

“Are you going to let go of me?” Buck asked after a minute or so. 

“Are you going to finally relax?” Tommy asked. 

Buck collapsed his weight, most of it falling onto Tommy. Tommy hugged him tighter. “Now I’m comfortable here,” he said. 

That caused Buck to chuckle. He rolled his head on Tommy’s shoulder to see the other man’s face as best as he possibly could. “Is that so?” Buck asked. “Maybe I’ll just have to stay here all night then?” 

Tommy smiled. “I have no objections.” 

Buck didn’t break Tommy’s hold around him, but he did manage to turn around, so they were chest to chest. Tommy’s back had fallen onto the seat of the couch, and Buck was looming over him. “How about now?” Buck asked. 

“Still no objections,” Tommy said.

Buck debated with himself for half a second. His next action would either completely backfire and get him booted out of here, or it would lead to something fantastic. He leant in, miniscully, and met Tommy’s lips with a kiss. 

Lucky for Buck, Tommy didn’t push him away, but kissed him back. It was long, slow, and if possible, Tommy’s arms wrapped around Buck even tighter. Buck wouldn’t be able to get out of this even if he wanted to, and he definitely did not. 

The next kiss was more deep, and longer, and so much more fuller. They were both panting by the time they broke apart. 

“What do you say we take this to the bedroom?” Tommy asked. 

Buck didn’t say anything, just took fistfuls of Tommy’s shirt and pulled the man off of the couch and made off in that direction. 

The next morning, Buck finally got to the point where he needed to go back to the house. He honestly didn’t even know if he should call it his or Eddie’s house anymore. He was out of clothes, and although he could wash the three outfits he had at Tommy’s or wear some of Tommy’s stuff… 

He shouldn’t be forced out of the house he was still paying for. 

With any luck, Eddie and Chris wouldn’t even be there when he pulled up. He could go in, grab a week’s worth of clothes, and leave. 

But he really should figure out how much longer Eddie was staying. Because while, if he could remember correctly, Eddie was supposed to be back in Texas and starting work there on Saturday, and it was already Thursday.  

Buck pulled his Jeep into the driveway, and sure enough, Eddie’s rental car was parked there as well. He took a deep breath, holding it for a second before getting out of the Jeep and walking up to the door. 

He unlocked the door and opened it, bracing himself. At first, he saw no sign of Eddie, but Chris was sitting at the table he had right in between the kitchen and living room. The teen looked right over at him at the sound of the door opening. 

“Buck!” Chris smiled as he called out to Buck in greeting. 

“Hey,” Buck said as he walked into the house. “Is your dad around?” 

Chris shrugged as he turned back to the phone in his hands and resumed eating a bowl of yogurt. “He was in the shower,” Chris said. “Been in there a while.” 

Okay then, maybe Buck would be able to get everything he needed to and leave before Eddie got out of the bathroom. “Okay, I just got to go grab some things,” Buck said as he made his way straight to his bedroom in the back of the house.

As luck would have it however, the door to the bathroom opened right as Buck walked past it. 

“Buck?” Eddie asked when he realized who was standing before him. “What are you doing here?” 

“Needed to pick some stuff up,” Buck said as he continued walking. When he heard Eddie’s footsteps following him, he said. “Don’t worry, just need to grab some clothes and leave, shift starts at nine.” 

“Where’ve you been staying?” Eddie asked. 

Buck turned his head and looked over at Eddie, momentarily surprised to find the man only wearing a towel wrapped around his waist, then again, Eddie did just get out of the shower. 

“With a friend,” Buck said. “Wanted to give you two some space.” 

“Who?” Eddie asked as he took another step into the bedroom. Buck turned to his dresser, pulling out a couple T-Shirts to stuff into his bag. “I know all your friends Buck.” 

Buck shut the drawer just a bit too forcefully. “Well, this is a friend I’ve made since you moved away,” Buck said. Which was a complete lie, but it didn’t really matter right now. 

“What’s their name?” Eddie asked, continuing to press. 

Buck really didn’t want to do this right now. 

He took a breath, held it, then let it out slowly. “Look Eddie,” he said as he dropped his duffel bag to the ground. “I don’t have time to do this right now, really. Only meant to come in a pick some clothes up before going to the station.” 

Eddie looked at him critically, studying him. Buck just let him as he grabbed some underwear and shorts, and a couple of the station T-shirts he kept in another drawer. Stuffing them all in his duffel bag, he moved to leave the bedroom, leaving Eddie alone in there. 

“Buck,” Eddie called out to him as Buck was halfway down the hall and to the front door. “You really just gonna leave like this?” 

Buck ran a hand through his hair and he gripped the strap of the duffel bag with the other. “I told you… we can… we can talk about this all when I get off shift. You’ll still be here tomorrow right? Or… when was it you’re going back to Texas?” 

“Tomorrow morning,” Chris’s voice answered from where the teen could now overhear them. And Buck had really meant to keep the kid out of this thing going on between him and Eddie. 

“I’ll try and make it back before you leave,” Buck said as he turned around and walked to the front door. 

“We’ll be coming by the station later today,” Eddie said as Buck turned the door handle. Buck turned his head over his shoulder to look at Eddie. “I need to pick up some things before we leave, we can talk there.” 

Buck really wasn’t looking forward to that. 

Now he only had to figure out a way to tell the others he was transferring stations without everything going to hell. He didn’t have a chance to tell them at the pre-shift briefing with a call coming in in the middle of it. And telling them in the truck cabin on the way back just felt too awkward. 

When they were pulling back into the station, Buck saw Eddie standing up in the loft, talking to some of the guys who stayed behind on the last call. Shit, Buck thought he would have at least until after noon before needing to talk to him again. 

It seemed though whatever conversation Eddie wanted to continue with him, didn’t need to take place immediately. First was lunch, and then, because Gerrard had a tendency to be a good person about once a week, he let Eddie take his old turnouts, even though he wasn’t retiring, and told him to take them to Texas. 

And then an easy yet guarded conversation started to take hold between all of them.

And without realizing, Buck let it slip out that he put in for a transfer.

“What do you mean you’re transferring?” Hen asked, looking him in the eye like she couldn’t believe a word he was saying. 

Buck shrugged his shoulders. “It’s just… with everything that’s changing… I thought it was time, you know? Move somewhere else? Work with new people? That sort of thing.” 

“Oh,” she said, sitting back in her chair and looking at him like she still couldn’t quite believe him. “That’s… oh.” 

“And when were you going to tell us this, Buck?” Chimney asked. 

Buck hunched his shoulders. “I guess now?” 

Everyone stared at him in silence, and it was quite awkward. Buck was no stranger to being the center of attention, craved it sometimes, even. But now, like this? It just screamed danger, and not in an ‘I’m about to run into a burning building’ way. 

“When?” Chimney then asked. “Did they give you a date?” 

“Next shift’s my last,” Buck said. 

He was thankfully pulled out of this conversation by another call coming in. A building collapse this time. Shit, this was going to be a long day.

Chapter Text

After Chimney’s speech, everyone split. Some people stayed downstairs to start cleaning the truck and the turnouts, some to the locker rooms to take a shower, and some were still milling around. 

Buck stood there, letting all the noises flow around him. 

Steps sounding across the concrete floor, doors opening and closing, voices yelling out and echoing across the walls, hoses and other items being dropped onto the ground…

“You okay there, Buck?” Ravi eventually came over and asked sometime later. Buck blinked and looked over at the man. Ravi looked remarkably clean for what they went through today. His hair was wet and there were a couple droplets of water trailing down his cheeks. Oh, Buck must have been spacing out long enough for Ravi to take a shower and get changed and everything. 

“Yeah,” Buck said. 

Ravi’s face pinched ever so slightly. “You sure man?” he asked again. “You don’t…” 

“I’m going to go take a shower,” Buck said, finally shaking himself out of whatever zone he had fallen into. “Need to get all this dirt off of me,” he said as he began walking to the locker room. 

“Yeah…” Ravi said as Buck walked past him. 

Stripping the sweat and dirt crusted clothes off of him, Buck dropped them to the bottom of his locker, telling himself he’d deal with all of the laundry later. He grabbed his towel and walked to the shower stalls. One good thing about waiting this long, they were all empty. 

Buck didn’t know how long he was in there, standing underneath the spray of water. With the station’s water system, it wasn’t like he alone would be able to use up all of the hot water. When he began to hear other voices in the locker area of the locker room he had begun moving, scrubbing all of the dirt off of his body and out of his hair. 

By the time he walked out, he was feeling much more clear headed. The only other person in the room was Ravi, scrolling through something on his phone. 

“Are you still planning on transferring?” Ravi asked as Buck began getting redressed. 

Buck was silent for a moment. He knew based on everyone’s reactions this morning and afternoon that they would be against him moving, but at the same time, nothing that happened today really called him to want to stay. 

It wasn’t like he was blaming anyone. But it also wasn’t like there was any one specific action that made him want to leave. So he shouldn’t be surprised that there wasn’t any one specific action that would make him want to stay. 

“... Yeah,” Buck said. “I’m still planning on it.” 

Ravi let out a short laugh at that. “Figures, you were the one talking me out of leaving three months ago and now you’re the one leaving.” He shook his head. “When do you leave?” 

“Monday will be my last shift here actually,” Buck said. 

Ravi’s eyes widened upon hearing that. “Really?” he asked. “That quickly?” 

“Yeah,” Buck ducked his head. “Honestly didn’t expect it to be approved this quickly. I only put the request in last week.” 

“Really?” Ravi asked. Buck nodded. “Must have a lot of Captains after you,” he said. Buck nodded again. 

Buck nodded. “Was surprised about that, really.” 

“Really?” Ravi asked. “After all the high profile rescues you’ve taken part in, that surprises you? Maybe it’s because you’ve only ever worked here, but trust me dude. You know I’ve worked at a handful of other stations here and there, you’re a legend.” 

Buck ducked his head at hearing that, blushing with the unexpected praise. “You can’t be that serious, Ravi. A legend?” 

“Well, it’s not like they're constantly talking about you. But when your name comes up? It’s nothing but good things, man.” 

“You serious?” Buck asked, looking up and making eye contact with Ravi. 

“Of course I am, man,” Ravi said. 

The rest of their shift passed by relatively uneventfully. Headquarters took pity on them, placing the last on the list to receive calls for the rest of the shift and also sending them meals from the sub shop down the street so they didn’t have to worry about cooking dinner. B-Shift also came in a little early the next morning, meaning that they could all actually leave by 9 am. 

Buck went straight to Tommy’s house afterwards, surprised to find the man’s truck already parked in the driveway. Tommy also had a shift the day previous, and due to the added turnover steps at Harbor with all of the helicopters, it usually took longer for him to leave. 

Buck parked his Jeep next to Tommy’s pickup and got out, heading inside. 

“Hey, I saw you all on the news,” Tommy said as Buck walked into the kitchen. 

“Yeah?” Buck said, a small smile on his face as he walked over to Tommy. 

Tommy lifted his arms as he saw Buck walking over, wrapping the man up in a hug and leaving his arms resting around him. “Why is it that whenever there’s a major call, the 118 is involved?” Tommy asked. 

“I don’t know,” Buck said. “I feel like that’s more a question for dispatch, we just go where we’re told.” 

“Yeah, yeah,” Tommy said. “Whatever you say.” 

“You mean you’ve never had any crazy calls before?” Buck asked. 

“Not involving you guys, the craziest call I’ve ever been on was rescuing a girl scout troop that got trapped on the top of a mountain during a thunderstorm,” Tommy said. 

Buck laughed upon hearing that. “They sent you cookies later at least, right?” he asked. 

Tommy had taken a second to think back on it. “Yeah, they did eventually,” he said. 

“You have one more shift with them, right?” Tommy asked after they lapsed into a comfortable silence for a moment. 

“Yeah,” Buck said, nodding. “One more, then I get to go hang out with that friend of yours you’ve never told me about.” 

Tommy shook his head. “You make it sound like I was sneaking around you to hang out with him the entire time I’ve known you,” Tommy said. “We text here and there, probably go out for drinks once every couple months, that’s about it.” 

“Have you ever talked to him about me?” Buck asked, leaning closer towards Tommy. 

“I might have told him a couple things about you,” Tommy said. “All good stuff.” 

Buck took a step closer to Tommy. “Well then, can you tell me something about him?” he asked. 

Tommy chuckled. “You’ll meet him in less than a week. You can’t wait until then?” 

Buck pouted. “He knows a bunch of stuff about me,” Buck said. “From a bunch of rumors going around the LAFD, and you apparently. I know nothing about him. It’s only fair.” 

They were within arms reach of each other at that point, and Tommy lifted his arms, resting his forearms on top of Buck’s shoulders. “Well then let’s see…” Tommy said, thinking. “He’s really into following pro sports, just about everything from football to hockey to baseball, even tennis. He’s got a wife and two kids, and if you ask him how they’re doing, be prepared for him to talk about them for a minimum of forty five minutes. He’s more of a cat guy than a dog guy. And other than the kid movies his kids have forced him to watch, his movie repertoire is about as large as yours.” 

“So we don’t have that much in common, really?” Buck asked, leaning forward and resting his forehead against Tommy’s.

“I’m sure you’ll find some things you have in common,” Tommy said. 

Buck simply hummed at hearing that. Then, before either of them realized it, their lips were once again pressed against each other in a kiss. A warm and passionate kiss. 

“We should talk,” Buck said as the kiss broke apart. 

“About what?” Tommy asked. 

“About you know,” Buck made a quick motion with his hand  between them. “What’s going on between us.” 

Tommy was silent for a moment. “Well… what do you want to say?” 

Buck paused, not exactly sure what to say at that moment. He had figured Tommy would be the one to start this conversation off when he brought it up. 

Tommy must have seen the struggle going on in his head, for he started it anyway. “Whatever it is that’s going on between us, I’m all for it,” he said. “I guess it just depends… where do you want it to go?” 

That slightly lifted the weight of uncertainty that had been building on Buck’s shoulders the last couple days. 

“I want… I want us to get back together,” Buck said. “We’ve already… There’s a lot we’ll have to talk about eventually, I think we both know that, but… I want to… I want to give us a try again,” Buck finished. “If it’s something that you’d want?” Buck once again had knots tying up inside of his stomach as he waited the two seconds for Tommy to answer. 

“Yes,” Tommy said, the word rushing out of his mouth. “I’d want to. I’d love that.” 

Buck smiled widely as he went back in for another kiss. 

“There is another thing I think I need to ask you…” Buck said after they broke apart after another long kiss. 

“Is it if you could move in?” Tommy asked. 

“How’d you know?” 

“I figured that if you’re still here, Eddie's at your house. And if he’s still here, he’s probably thinking about moving back. Which means you’d need to find a new place.”

“Yeah, that’s kind of it,” Buck said, looking down and resting his forehead against Tommy’s shoulder. 

“I said you can stay here as long as you want,” Tommy said. “Even if that means you move in.” 

Buck looked back up at him, slightly surprised, considering this topic is one of the things that made Tommy think they were rushing into things too quickly before. “You sure?” he asked.

“Of course I’m sure,” Tommy said. 

Buck smiled again. And turned around, gazing around the first floor of Tommy’s house. “We’re going to need to figure out where all my stuff is gonna go,” he said. 

Tommy gave Buck a squeeze. “And I’m sure you’re going to love every second of it.” 

Later that afternoon, Maddie called his phone. Buck picked up without really thinking about it. 

“Hey, Mads. What’s up?” Buck asked as he picked up the call. 

“Not much,” she said. “Really just waiting for this baby to come out of me.”

Buck smiled at hearing that. Maddie was at the point of her pregnancy where all she wanted was for it to be over. Despite all the bad things that had happened so far this year, Buck found himself really looking forward to his new nephew being born. 

“It can’t be that bad, can it?” Buck asked. 

Maddie laughed at that. “Sure, Buck, sure. When you’ve been carrying around a baby inside of you for nine months come back to me and say that.” 

Buck winced at that. “Okay, I guess I might be wrong there.” 

“Anyways, Chimney told me some interesting things when he got home this morning,” Maddie said. 

“Oh? Is this why you really called?” Buck asked. “He took the Captain position.” 

“So he’s told me,” Maddie said. 

“How do you feel about that?” Buck asked. 

“Well, it will mean he’s at work a little more, but the extra pay will be nice,” Maddie said. “Chimney also told me that you were thinking about transferring?”

And that was what Buck knew Maddie was dancing around. “I’d say… I’m more than thinking about it,” Buck said. 

“And… What do you mean by that?” Maddie asked. 

“I kind of,” Buck paused. “I kind of already only put in for a transfer.” 

“Oh,” Maddie said, slightly surprised. “Is this something… I mean… I guess you’re more serious about this than Chim made it sound.” 

“Yeah and…” Buck took a breath as he said the next part. “Chief kind of… already found another house to send me too.”

Maddie was silent for a long moment after that, and it was a loaded silence. “Already?” she sounded surprised. “How long have you been thinking about this?” 

“I only put in the request the shift before yesterday’s,” Buck explained. “It was kind of an impulse thing.”

“An impulse thing?” Maddie said. “An impulse thing is buying an extra pint of ice cream at the grocery store. What Chimney told me about your conversation yesterday, it sounded like more than just some impulse thing.” 

Buck was silent for a moment, thinking over how to explain how he was feeling. “It’s kind of… look at it this way. I got a little too into my head earlier this week. Got the thought of transferring bouncing around my head in the middle of the night and well… no one was around to talk me out of putting the transfer request in at 2 am. Then whenever someone asked me if I actually wanted to go through with it well… I keep finding myself saying yes. I’m not regretting it.”

Maddie was silent for a second, before asking. “Well… it doesn’t sound like you are going to take back the transfer request,” she said. 

“I’m not,” Buck said, his voice leaving no room for doubt. 

“Can I ask why?” Maddie asked. “You’ve always loved it there. How many times have you desperately fought to stay and keep everyone together? I just… I don’t get it.” 

“Things just… aren’t the same anymore, Mads,” Buck said, rubbing the back of his neck. He knew these questions would be coming from Maddie eventually, he just hadn’t expected them to come at him like this, or for it to be so hard to explain himself. “Ever since Bobby… things just aren’t the same anymore. Nothing feels right, and I just… I need to be somewhere completely different.”

“Just… I need to know that you’re sure about this,” Maddie said. 

“I’ve already made up my mind,” Buck reiterated. “There’s… not going to be any talking me out of this.” 

Maddie let out a small sigh at that, one Buck could tell meant she was coming to accept his decision. “I don’t want to come in between you and Chimney,” she said. “And if you’ve made up your mind, I’m not going to try to talk you out of it. It’s just that… Chimney’s kind of worked up about it, you know? He was kind of hurt.” 

“You can tell him it had nothing to do with anything he did,” Buck said. That part Buck knew was true. It was nothing any one person did or didn’t do. 

“I’ll tell him that,” Maddie said. “You’re still going to keep in contact with everyone there, right?” she asked. “You’ll have to with Chimney at least.” 

“Yeah,” Buck nodded. Even though he was leaving, he didn’t want to cut everyone there out of his life. He still wanted to be friends with everyone there. Well, maybe not Eddie, but Buck still couldn’t say what was going on between them. “Of course I will.” 

“Good,” Maddie said. “On another topic, can I ask you a favor?” 

Buck’s ears perked up. “Sure, what is it?” he asked. 

“My due date is in two weeks,” she began. “With the Lee’s visiting some friends in Korea for the entire month, we’ll kind of need someone to look after Jee while I’m in the hospital…” 

A smile started to stretch across Buck’s face at that unasked question. “Are you asking if I’ll be willing to babysit her?” he asked. 

“Are you offering?” she asked. 

“Yes,” Buck said quickly. “I’d love to look after her for a couple days.” 

Maddie laughed. “We’re not going for a week long vacation, you know? At most it will be three days.” 

“I know,” Buck said. “You just need to know that I’ll always be willing to watch her for you.” 

Maddie hummed. “Okay, we’ll remember this,” she added before they wrapped up the phone call. 

“Bye Mads,” Buck finished. “Love you.” 

“Was that Maddie?” Tommy asked as he walked into the living room where Buck was sitting on the couch as he talked with Maddie. 

“Yeah,” Buck said. “I kind of volunteered to watch Jee for them when Maddie’s going in to give birth.”

Tommy took a seat next to Buck on the couch. “Yeah, I think I heard that part.”

“You’re alright with that, right?” Buck asked. 

“Of course I’m okay with it,” Tommy said. “You can even bring her over here if you want to.” 

“You know she’s moved on from the twenty four piece puzzles,” Buck said, recalling that whenever they babysat her last summer, she would always bring a new puzzle along with her. “She’s moved up to the fifty piece ones.” 

“Really?” Tommy asked. At Buck’s nod, he said. “I guess we’ll need to buy her some new ones then. 

“You’re amazing, you know that?” Buck asked. 

“So you say.” 

Chapter Text

Buck didn’t know how to feel as he walked into his next shift, his last shift at the 118. After the phone call with Maddie, he had started to question whether he should have done this. It was a spur of the moment thing to put in the transfer request anyway. He had just gotten too into his head after having trouble falling asleep. 

For a while, he kept warring in between himself on whether or not he should be regretting the decision and call Chief up right now to cancel the transfer. Then the other side of him was looking forward to it. 

Looking forward to working with new people, seeing new parts of the city, running away from some ghosts - even if one of the ghosts was Bobby. 

Walking into the station, he first came face to face with Hen and Chimney. 

“Hey, Buck,” she greeted him before he turned to head into the locker room. 

Buck gave them a wave in greeting. “Hey, what’s up?” he asked. 

“Not much,” Hen said as she looked at Chimney who was flipping through a packet of papers, looking more and more stressed with each page. “He might be regretting taking the Captain’s position now that he sees all of the paperwork that’s needed.” 

“You all should have warned me becoming Captain would involve this much paperwork,” Chimney grumbled as he dropped a stack of papers on a table. “I’m going to be doing this all day.” He ran a hand through his hair. “You know I need to take a Captain’s course as well? How was this never mentioned?” 

“It’s to teach you all the additional stuff you’ll need to know that you don’t do as only an interim Captain,” Hen said. 

“I know that,” Chimney said. “Doesn’t mean I think it should need all this paperwork.” 

Buck couldn’t help but laugh as he watched his brother-in-law’s turmoil. “I’m going to get changed,” Buck said as he turned back in the direction of the locker room and headed inside. 

Standing in front of his locker, Buck supposed now was as good a time as any to start organizing and cleaning the space out, unless he wanted to stay after tomorrow morning. 

“So you’re really still planning on leaving?” Buck turned his head to the door as he heard Chimney ask the question. 

“Yeah,” Buck said as he set two T-Shirts in the bottom of the duffel bag. “I thought Maddie would have told you.” 

“She did,” Chimney said as he walked over and took a seat next to Buck on the bench. “I thought I should ask you myself though.” 

“Well, I am,” Buck said. “Today’s my last shift here. Starting at the 122 on Thursday.” 

“The 122?” Chimney said. “That’s… okay. And I guess there’s really nothing I can do to talk you out of this?” 

“Yeah,” Buck said. “I’ve made up my mind.” 

Chimney was silent for a moment as he sat on that answer. As he looked at the resolve on Buck’s face though, Chimney knew that he wasn’t going to be able to talk Buck out of it though. 

“Okay,” he finally said, slightly surprising Buck, who was afraid this might turn into a minor argument between them. 

“Okay?” Buck asked. 

“Yeah,” Chimney said as he gave Buck a pat on the shoulder, standing up. “Now come on, we have to give you a proper send off.” 

Buck wasn’t entirely sure what Chimney met by that, but he quickly finished getting changed and followed after the soon-to-be Captain. He followed Chimney up the stairs to the kitchen, catching himself by complete surprise when he saw what was up there. 

It seemed that Chimney had a feeling he wouldn’t be able to talk Buck out of the transfer, Maddie must have spoken to him. And he must have in turn spoken to Hen, for right front and center on top of the kitchen table, there was a white box.

“What’s this?” Buck asked as he walked up to everyone gathered around the table. 

“Open it up,” Hen prompted him. 

Buck had a feeling he knew exactly what was in the box, and as he slowly reached his hands forward to open it, he wasn’t disappointed in the slightest at what he found inside. 

A cake. It was obviously a cake. In the shape of a bright red firetruck. Icing letters around the cake read ‘It will be sad to see you go Buck, but we had a great 8 years!’

Buck looked up and made eye contact with Hen. “You got me a cake?” he asked. 

Hen gave him a look as if to ask ‘do you even know who you’re talking to?’ 

”Of course we got you a cake, Buck,” Hen said.  

Buck smiled, probably the largest smile he remembered having here in the last month. As everyone descended on it looking for a piece, Hen walked up to Buck and stood at his side. “Just be grateful Chimney didn’t shove your face into it like he did when your boyfriend was leaving,” she said. 

Buck froze, looking over at Hen like a deer caught in the headlights. “How did you know about that?” he asked. 

Hen gave a small laugh. “Well I didn’t know anything,” she said. “But I think you just confirmed what I was guessing.” 

The rest of the shift went by fairly smoothly… or at least smoothly compared to their last couple of shifts. The most complicated call they had was a three car pileup caused by a twelve year old who took his parents’ car keys off of the kitchen counter and wanted to know what it felt like to drive. Buck had to admit, for all the trouble he got himself into as a kid and teen, he never did something like that. 

He didn’t want to imagine what his parents’ reactions would have been if he did something like steal their car at twelve years old. Their reaction to him using his college money to buy a motorcycle and getting into a crash was bad enough. 

But now the shift was coming to an end. 

He had forty eight hours off before starting at the 122. 

Forty eight hours off, and then he would be at a new station, a fresh start. 

But before that, Buck had plans for the forty eight off. 

Plans that involved his recently reconnected boyfriend. 

Buck pulled into the extra spot in Tommy’s driveway as he parked his Jeep. He got out and went into Tommy’s house, finding the man making himself breakfast in the kitchen. Buck smiled. 

He walked up behind Tommy and wrapped him in a hug from behind, giggling as he felt Tommy freeze for the smallest moment. 

“I should really look at getting an alarm system,” Tommy said. “One of the ones that announces whenever a door opens.” 

Buck gave Tommy a small pout as he turned around. “But then I won’t be able to snake up on you,” he said. 

Tommy placed a quick kiss on Buck's forehead. “I think you’ll still find a way to do that anyway.” 

Buck turned his pout into a smile. “You’re right about that,” he said. 

“Well I just finished breakfast,” Tommy said. “Are you hungry?” 

“I had something to eat at the station,” Buck said. “Chimney and Hen kind of… got me a cake.” 

“Did you bring any back?” Tommy asked. 

Buck laughed at that question. “Is there anything you think about that’s not cake?” 

Now Tommy was the one to give a pout. “You were the one to bring it up,” he said. “You know how much I like it.” 

“I think I can give you something better than cake,” Buck said as he leant into Tommy more and brought them into a closer hug. 

“I might be interested in what you have to offer,” Tommy said. 

Buck leant forward, pressing his lips into Tommy in a kiss, a very deep kiss. A kiss that had both of them wrapping their hands around each other’s heads trying to pull each other deeper into one another. 

Somehow they had made it from the kitchen to the bedroom, and that was how they spent much of the next twelve hours at least. A fantastic mix of making out and sex and just cuddling. By the end, Buck was lying over Tommy, his head using Tommy’s chest as a pillow. 

“That was amazing,” he said, smiling at Tommy sleepily. 

“Yeah?” Tommy said. 

“Can we do this again?” Buck asked. 

“Probably not tomorrow,” Tommy said. “I actually have to get stuff done tomorrow.” 

“Stuff like what?” 

“An oil change,” Tommy said as he went through a mental checklist. He spotted the overflowing hamper in the corner of the bedroom. “Some laundry too.” 

“Can I help?” Buck asked. 

“You want to help fold laundry?” Tommy asked. It wasn’t really his idea of fun. 

“With the oil change,” Buck said. 

 Tommy laughed at that. “Do you remember what happened last time you wanted to help me do an oil change?” 

“I’ll actually help this time,” Buck said. “Trust me.” 

Buck ended up being helpful with the oil change for about five minutes, maybe seven depending on when someone started the timer. But then Tommy took his shirt off as the day was a hot one and the AC didn’t extend to the garage. And once that happened well… Buck was very reasonably distracted. 

If anything, it was Tommy’s fault. The man knew what he was doing by taking off the damn shirt. He wished he could get some more clothes off of Tommy, but when he suggested that, Tommy very playfully and sternly warned him, “There are kids that live in this neighborhood, Evan. And the garage door is wide open.” 

That was all yesterday now. 

Now he was heading into work, at his new station. His brand new station. It was almost feeling like a new job entirely as he put the directions into his phone and began driving over. 

Meeting everyone at the 122 was probably everything and nothing like how Buck expected it to go. 

It wasn’t the first time he had been to the station. He had been there once for an inspection back when he was a Fire Marshall, and a couple of times when he was going through a phase of picking up extra shifts a couple years ago. Although he had worked with other shifts on all of those occasions. 

When he arrived at the station, about twenty minutes before he was told they start the shifts here, Buck parked his Jeep in one of the empty spots in the parking lot in the back of the station and got out. Just as he was pulling his duffel bag out of the back seat, a dark gray pickup truck pulled into the lot and parked a couple spots down from him. 

“You Buckley?” the man asked him when he got out of the pickup. 

“Yeah,” Buck said as they came to stand next to each other in the parking lot. 

The man held his hand out to Buck for a handshake. “Sal Deluca,” he said. 

As Buck shook his hand, he looked the man up and down just like Sal was doing to him. Sal was a couple inches shorter than him, but built solidly, probably had larger muscles than Buck from the little he could see under the other man’s clothes. 

Sal led him into the firestation. It was smaller than the 118, that was for sure, everything located on a single story, except for a small loft space that was only used for storage. 

“So you were on A-Shift at the 118?” Sal asked as he led Buck to the locker room. 

“Yeah,” Buck nodded. “That’s right.” 

“Huh,” Sal huffed. “I started there like twenty years ago. God it's been a long time since then.” Sal took him to the end of the row of lockers. “This one’s empty, it can be yours,” he said. 

“Thanks,” Buck said as he walked towards it. 

“Just drop your stuff in it for now and I can introduce you to everyone,” Sal said. Buck did just that, opening the locker door and dropping his duffel bag onto the bottom of it. He then followed Sal out of the locker room and down the hall towards the kitchen and day room area where everyone on the shift was gathering. 

He was introduced to the two paramedics they had on this shift - Kelly Daniels and Matt Connor. As well as all the other firefighters they had on this crew. 

Whatever reservations Buck had had about Sal after hearing Tommy’s brief story about them, he found that they were largely unwarranted. 

Sure, Sal was… totally unlike anyone at the 118. Just from the handful of jokes and comments Buck heard the man make in the first half hour of their shift, he could tell the man’s sense of humor was more caustic than anyone else’s at the 118. But at the same time, it wasn't offensive to anyone.  Sal also had a more in your face personality, which translated to his leadership style. As opposed to Bobby’s more one on one guidance and bonding, Gerrard’s don’t give me problems and I won’t give you problems, and Chimney’s need to keep moving. 

Their first call of the day was a simple one, a three car crash at an intersection a mile from the station. They needed to use the jaws to get one of the drivers out of their vehicle, and two of the drivers needed to be taken to the hospital. Judging by what Buck could see of all three vehicles, they were likely all totaled. 

That was a shame. 

Their next call came in just after lunch - a small kitchen fire at a cafe down the street that had quickly gotten out of hand and started smoking everyone out of the building. Followed an hour later by a medical call of a grandma collapsing and another right before dinner of another car accident. 

The entire time, Buck was really just taking everything in and helping where he was needed. He had to admit, this crew worked surprisingly well as a team, maybe even better than the 118 did before everything started going… well haywire. 

“Hey, Buck,” Kelly came up to him when they all got back from their last call. “You any good in the kitchen?” she asked him. 

“Good in the kitchen?” Buck said. 

“Yeah, do you know how to cook anything good? I’ve been trying to teach the other guys for years but… haven’t had much luck,” she explained. 

“Yeah, I know how to cook,” Buck said. “I haven't really done a lot of it in a while though.” He hadn’t done much cooking since Bobby had died actually, and that was almost two months ago now. 

“Well, do you want to help me make dinner tonight?” Kelly asked. “I know a couple recipes that don’t take too long, and I know people are starting to get hungry now.” 

“Oh, um… sure that sounds great,” Buck said, a small smile on his face as he got up and followed her to the kitchen. 

Yeah, Buck could see himself liking it here.