Chapter Text
“I think I am in love with Chloe,” said Beca. She was sitting on her bed across from Fat Amy.
“Well I don’t see why cuz like she a ginger.”
“Amy I am seriously I think I love Chloe. Like in love with her.” Beca covered her face with her hands. She could not believe that she was saying this. After all she had Jesse, who was kind, funny, and so supportive. He was more than a boyfriend he was a best friend, but in the last few weeks she had notice a difference in how she felt toward him. She had made up several excuses to explain it away. She was busy with school, and work and the Bellas, but the truth was she was falling out of love with him. And no amount of romantic date could fix that.
“Well you know you might want to talk about this with maybe I don’t know Jesse or Chloe”
“Yeah but you both of those conversations are totally going to suck balls.”
“Yeah you look like you can use some of my confidence,” said Amy getting ready to rub some off for Beca. Beca saw what was about to happen and got off her bed and headed quickly to the door.
“That’s okay Amy I think I got this.”
“Just remember you are Beca effing Mitchell.” That got Beca to smile a little.
Maybe she could just blame graduation and moving on to do new things and life. But honestly she would not believe that shit because that was the worst lie ever. That was almost as bad as “it’s not you it’s me”. Beca cared for Jesse more than that. So she would tell the truth one hundred per cent of the truth. Well not all of the it. Maybe she cut some of the truth out to save him from pain.
Beca took a breath this wasn’t going to be easy. She knew that it was going to be hard for Jesse to hear, but it had to be done; it was no longer fair for her to go on behaving like they had a chance. Maybe she should not say it like that. That sounded mean.
Beca I paced back and forth in front of the door before knocking. In the 30 seconds that it took for Benji to open the door Beca was seriously debating leaving. ‘What if this was a terrible idea? Maybe she should just go’ thought, Beca. But it is better to just get it out of the way.
“Hello Beca, come in I’ll get Jesse,” Benji sounded happy to see her. Baca shook her head.
“No I’ll wait out here.”
“Umm okay I’ll just be a minute,” Benji said before re-entering the house. Beca noted how confused he sounded. Fuck this was going to be hard. Unless Jesse also felt it. That was the best case scenario that Jesse had also been feeling the lack of feelings. Because then it would not be just her fault, they would both carry the blame. If the feeling were mutual just maybe Beca’s guilt would lessen.
Jesse poked his head out of the door.
“Beca?”
“Oh hi, look there is something you and I need to talk about in private.” Jesse’s smile faded from his face. From the tone of her voice and also the words we need to talk he knew nothing good was going to happen.
“Okay Beca what is it?” Jesse came out on the porch of the troublemakers house. He set down on the bench. Beca remained standing but leaned against the railing for support. She took three big breaths before starting.
“Look I need you to know that I care about you a lot. You got me to say things I would have never have said. You were… are so sweat. You got me to watch movies. To open up to you. You were the first person I had ever said ‘I love you’ to. Really a grade ‘A’ boyfriend,” Beca stop to look up at Jesse with tears in her eyes. Jesse was holding back tears, which just made this harder. She had never wished to hurt him.
“Jesse I… I think we should break up,” Beca could not keep it together any longer. She let the tears she had been holding slip down her cheeks.
“Hey Beca it’s okay,” Jesse said getting up to wrap his arms around her. Every one of Beca’s instincts told her to push him away but his arms wrapped around her felt so good, so comfortable so reassuring. She felt his hands moving up and down over her back.
“Look I love you,” Jesse said gently in her ear, “but I can feel the distance that has been forming between us these past few months. We have both done all we can for this relationship but I think it is time to let go.”
This made Beca want to cry even more than before. He was being so nice about this whole crappy situation. Beca pulled out of his embrace.
“You going to be okay Jesse, I know it.” Beca looked at him hard for moment before walking past him not daring to look back. Not wanting his sad face anymore. The whole emotional thing had never been easy for Beca and she hated that she had cried in front of him while breaking up up with of him. She had never really been vulnerable with anyone before Jesse.
Walking back to the Bella house Beca thought of how it had went. I could have gone a lot worse and yet she felt terrible. The fact that Jesse was so understanding about the whole thing made her feel terrible in a way that she did not expect. Really the breakup went the best it could have gone. But she had share a piece of her life with Jesse and those feelings did not just disappear all at once. A wave of nostalgia rush over her almost bring her to tears.
Beca walked in the Bella house. She found herself in front of Chloe’s door. Chloe was the only Bella who had a room of her own. She had also become Beca’s best friend over the past two school years. She was still surprise sometimes when she thought of their friendship. How she had woken up one day and realized that Chloe was the person she went to when she wanted to talks. When she had, had a bad day it was Chloe who she went to, and when she had good news Chloe was always the first to know. And one day it had dawned on her Chloe was her best friend even though they seemed from the surface so different.
Beca knocked on the redhead’s door. Chloe opened her door almost immediately. She took one look at beca’s face and pull her into a tight hug. Beca squirmed a little at the physical contact but then she relaxed into Chloe’s arms realizing how good it felt to be held by her friend.
“Um Chloe can we maybe move inside your room and close the door.”
“Sure Beca.”
They stepped into the room. The walls were covered in posters and tapestries. The wall over Chloe’s bed was hung with pictures from Chloe’s years as a Bella. The second bed was made up like a sofa. Chloe had all of the same furniture as the other Bellas but her room felt way more personalized. Before she had Graduated Aubrey had shared the room with Chloe. The walls were painted lavender purple which was not allowed but nobody ever did anything about it.
“Tell me everything ,” Chloe looked at her friend with concern in her eyes.
“I broke up with Jesse,” Beca fought off tears.
Chloe felt her heart skip a beat on hearing the news. ‘What is wrong with me? My best friend just broke up with her boyfriend and all I can think is how happy I am’ Chloe thought. Chloe reach over to hug Beca. Then she walked to the door.
“Wait here I’ll go get the ice cream.”