Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

they say my hitbox’s a problem

they tell me to not target supports

they say i can’t keep myself from landing a hit on every player in sight

they worship patience a virtue

oh they tell me i should get a nerf

but my desire it’s bottomless

i wanna slit ur throat and get that easy win

THE SLAUGHTERS ON

ID LOVE TO HIT THAT GASHING WOUND

UNSATISFIED UNTIL I GET THAT LOBBY WIPE

SO GRAB A PLATE

HAVE A TASTE

这口味让我沉醉

IM STILL PRAYING I DONT GET A NERF

Chapter Text

This round’s killers are…

Slasher & Jason & Yi Xi

The survivors were stunned into silence for a few seconds.

”…WHAT THE FUCK???” Chance finally yelled. He stepped over Elliot, who was curled up on the floor, holding his pizza box like a lifeline as he muttered “I’m so fucking scared” over and over like a broken record.

Taph had already begun to build a nest around the pizza boy, placing a subspace tripmine gently on Elliot’s head. Two Time was in the corner, muttering prayers to the Spawn and placing their ritual.

”Why are there three?? This hasn’t happened before! What the hell are we supposed to do?” Shitletsky Shedletsky said, gripping his sword tighter than normal. 

Survivor Statuses

Taph: 100%

Elliot: 100%

Shedletsky: 100%

Noob: 100%

Chance: 100%

Two Time: 100%

Builderman: 100%

Dusekkar: 100%

Dusekkar entered the ballpit most of the survivors were camping in, carefully floating over one of Taph’s tripwires. “Is Elliot okay? I must say, he seems to be in dismay.”

A quiet “no” could be heard from the nest of traps Elliot was laying in.

Chance flipped their coin absently, saying something about finding Noob and Builderman before leaving the ballpit.

…

Round ends in… 2:30

A scream rang out from the other side of the map. Elliot saw a yellow aura he believed to be Noob running away from something. He shuffled a bit and reluctantly got up to go save his friend.

Noob was running for their life from not one, not two, but THREE killers who just happened to be hungry..

Chapter Text

...

By the time Elliot got over there, Noob was already dead and Builderman was at around half health. Elliot tossed a pizza to Builderman but he somehow stepped over it and fucking died. Chance had finally gotten three charges on his gun at the price of gaining 50 stacks of weakness and did a cool 360 spin before shooting at the three killers.

And then his fucking gun exploded on him and he died too.

"DAMNIT CHANCE!!" Elliot yelled as he turned and used his Rush Hour to escape. He didn't make it far though, as by the time he made it to the room where the ballpit was, he didn't have enough time to scream as he too was torn apart Asuka-style. (sorry)

"Ki ki, ma ma." Jason said (we miss you king 💔)

"Oh fuuuuck." Was the only thing Shedletsky said before taking Elliot's former spot in the nest. Dusekkar hit the shinji chair pose and sighed in defeat.  (where did he even get a chair??)

"👥👥👈🤬😭🍳🍳(We're so fucking cooked,)" Taph signed from her corner.

"I'm sure the glorious Spawn will save us!" Two Time said, earning an irritated groan from Dusekkar. "Two Time, with all due respect, if your Spawn was able to at least save you, I think it would already," Shedletsky sighed. Two Time stayed silent.

"🍗,2️⃣,🎃…💣🤔🔪🔪🔪👂🫵(Shed, Two Time, Dusekkar… I think the killer heard you.)” Taph signed after flapping their wings a bit to get the others’ attention. “…Fuc-AAAAAAH!!!!” Shedletsky attempted to speak when he was hit with a Gashing Wound by Yi Xi.

The other two came running up the other ramp to kill the remaining survivors but ended up triggering all of Taph’s traps, giving them a chance to escape. “Shouldn’t we save the swordsman?” Two Time said. As soon as they closed their mouth, Shedletsky’s head rolled down one of the ramps. (bro got the kaworu treatment 💔)

“…🖕🤬(Fuck.)"

The Vanitylings finally emerged from the ballpit, each one targeting a survivor. Slasher went after Dusekkar, and quickly disposed of him as he has no abilities to defend himself other than that shitty plasma beam. Yi Xi was chasing Two Time, successfully landing only a hit before getting trickstabbed. Unfortunately, Two Time did not fill the OBLATION bar in time to respawn and died. Skill issue. A remix of BUTCHER VANITY played in the background as the timer went down.

Round ends in... 1:14

1:13

1:12

Taph wasn't sure he could survive this. The three killers were now approaching them like a predator stalks their prey. She began to back away, too afraid to turn in fear of being hit by a surprise attack. The killers began to sprint as Taph finally turned and ran.

1:05

1:04

Taph was low on health and stamina now. The killers had landed two hits on him. She knew she had no chance of survival,and yet she didn't give up.

1:02

1:01

1:00

0:59

A bloodied cleaver came flying at Taph's back. Since when could they do that?? Does Yi Xi not have to follow the Spectre's rules? Taph asked themself. Slasher took advantage of this opportunity and struck Taph with a final Behead, killing her (kaworu style lmao)

Both the killers and the final survivor spawned back in their cabins.

"🤨. 👆. 🤬. (What. The. Fuck.)" Was the only thing Taph signed before leaving to go collect little trinkets outside or whatever.