Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

September 2019 -

Their first ever comeback is in a month and Yeonjun feels everything but fine about it.

The initial high of debuting, of charting, of getting their first music show win is all beginning to dim a little. Exhaustion has found a permanent home in Yeonjun’s body. But he knows they have to keep going. Now that they’ve tasted a lick of a spotlight, they have to keep chasing it.

Yeonjun’s also going to turn 21 in a few weeks. Which means he’s going to get his soulmate mark. Which he’s also feeling everything but fine about.

Even throughout the hectic comeback prep, that seems to be the thing the members are fixating on.

“You’ll show us, right? Hyung?”

“Hm?” Yeonjun looks up from staring at the limp kimbap sitting on his lap. It’s sagging sadly onto the napkin that’s balanced precariously on his knees. He just needs to eat, but there’s an itch clawing away at him, a constant prodding he can’t seem to tamper down. He’s too nervous. Too nervous to eat.

“Your soulmate mark?” Kai clarifies, looking at Yeonjun from across the table. They’re at a variety shoot, on a break for lunch.

“Oh,” Yeonjun says, finally tuning into the conversation. Beomgyu and Kai blink at him, perturbed by his cluelessness. He needs to pay more attention. “Yeah, of course.”

Yeonjun’s fine with showing them. It’ll be hidden from the public, obviously, but he understands since he’s the first in the group to get one, everyone’s extra excited about it. All he hopes is that it’s not in too obvious of a spot. There’s horror stories of idols debuting, turning 21, and then getting it on their hand, on their forearm, on their neck, and having to quit. Places that are on camera constantly, places that are harder to cover up.

It’s weird to think about how, in one week, Yeonjun will have a new mark on his body. It’s weird, but he is a little excited about it. He doesn’t think he’ll show anyone else but the group and his parents. He definitely won’t be uploading it to the database that alerts you if someone uploads the same marking. He doesn’t have time to worry about something like that. Right now his biggest focus is his career.

“Can I take a picture of it?” Beomgyu asks innocently, popping a grape into his mouth. He offers the bowl to Yeonjun, but he waves his hand.

“No,” Yeonjun scowls and then lets out a sigh when Beomgyu just giggles. “I’ll let you guys see it for thirty seconds tops.”

“What!” Kai exclaims. “That’s barely anything.”

Yeonjun softens, lips pressing together in a smile as he watches Kai’s shock dull. “I’m kidding. You can look at it for as long as you want.”

Kai seems satisfied by this answer and nods sullenly. He has two years to mentally prepare himself for this change, Yeonjun has seven days.

For the first time in Yeonjun’s life, his birthday falls on Chuseok this year.

That means no dinner with his parents, no visiting family, no homemade seaweed soup. Because now Yeonjun is an idol and he has work all of the time. They have a schedule in the morning and a group live in the evening. And he’s getting a soulmate mark in the middle of all that.

The marks appear on your body exactly twenty years after you were born, so depending on what time you were born, you could almost go through the whole day without seeing it. Yeonjun was born in the early evening, so he’ll probably get it while they’re at the company. At least if it’s a horribly obvious location he’ll have the staff there to help him cover it up.

The day before Yeonjun’s birthday, he stays later at the company than everyone else. His vocal training runs long and he spends the car ride home to the dorm feeling a mixture of anxiety and self loathing. He should be at the same pace as everyone else. He should be working harder to catch up with them.

Two managers come up with him, to drop a few things off and remind everyone of tomorrow’s schedules. Yeonjun drags his feet out of the elevator and when he opens the door to a completely dark dorm room, confusion flickers through him. Then he spots three glowing candles and suddenly the lights are getting thrown on and his members are yelling “Surprise!!!!” and then singing him Happy Birthday. They collapse in a pile of laughter and clapping as Yeonjun stands there, a smile spreading on his face.

This is his new normal. Having his closest coworkers throw a surprise party for him, livestreaming his birthday to thousands of people, and missing out on homemade meals made especially for him. This new normal can be good. There are sacrifices, but ultimately this is what Yeonjun wants. He wants to be more famous. And to do that, he will have to miss out on things.

There’s chicken and pizza and pig’s feet and about a million side dishes. A warmth grows inside of Yeonjun when he joins the circle on the floor and they eat together.

The staff take a few pictures for socials, grab a few bites, and then leave, leaving the five of them alone.

“Are you nervous for tomorrow?” Beomgyu asks, eyes widening as he shoves a huge piece of chicken in his mouth.

Yeonjun shrugs, feigning coolness.

“Not nervous,” he says, biting his nail, “Just curious.”

“Hyung, are you hoping for it to be someone in particular?” Taehyun asks. He’s the most romantic whenever they talk about the marks, always wanting his reveal to be like something out of a movie. Yeonjun often wonders how someone so young and practical can think like that.

Yeonjun scoffs. He hasn’t had time for love in his life yet. He’s not even sure what it feels like. Sure he’s had crushes, and he loves his family and friends, but he knows this’ll be different. It’ll feel like something indescribable. At least that’s what everyone says in the dramas and movies he grew up watching. Meeting the person with the same mark as you is a unique experience, shared only by those who have lived through it.

Yeonjun secretly hopes it won’t happen to him until his idol career has fizzled out. Which he’s sure won’t be anytime soon.

“I don’t care who it is,” Yeonjun says. “As long as I can keep doing this with you guys.”

Taehyun wrinkles his nose at that, but doesn’t add anything.

“Do you think you’ve already met the person?” Beomgyu asks.

Yeonjun shrugs. Again it doesn’t matter. “I’m not sure…” he trails off, eyes finding the floor.

“Maybe it’s MOA,” Soobin whispers, and that sets them all off.

“Every single one of them?” Kai giggles and Soobin nods, leaning over to get another piece of kimchi.

“That would be scary,” Yeonjun scoffs, resting his chin in his hand, “Having multiple soulmates.”

“I think that’s romantic,” Beomgyu announces. “It means you’re so good you can be liked by multiple people.”

“Yeah, I’m sure hyung would love that,” Taehyun jabs, poking at Beomgyu’s arm.

Before Beomgyu can send back some sort of retort, Soobin reaches out and touches his arm, a simple gesture telling him to drop it. Beomgyu closes his mouth then looks directly across the circle to Yeonjun. Soobin follows suit a few seconds later, his eyes finding Yeonjun’s.

Soobin’s been extra good at noticing that Yeonjun seems to close himself off whenever they start talking about soulmate marks. Yeonjun’s been avoiding being alone with Soobin just so he doesn’t have to talk about it.

Once they’re done eating, Yeonjun leans back on his hands, looking at everyone for a moment. For the first time in weeks he feels completely full and completely happy.

“Thank you guys,” he says, grinning, “Really.”

“No problem, hyung. We know we won’t be able to do anything just the five of us tomorrow, so, at least there’s this,” Taehyun replies.

“Right,” Yeonjun agrees. “At least there’s this.”

The first thing Yeonjun does on his birthday when he wakes up is call his parents.

They can’t talk for too long, since he’s getting picked up soon, but they congratulate him and tell him to visit. They let him know his baby cousin is coming over and that they’ll be sure to send pictures. A lump in Yeonjun’s throat appears, making it hard for him to say goodbye without sounding too choked up.

The schedule in the morning goes fine. The crew brings out a cake for Yeonjun and everyone congratulates him. He doesn’t know if it’s because it’s his special year or if this is normal. A lot about being a newer idol is figuring out why people are treating you the way they are.

The rest of the day is spent at the company, taking a break for lunch when they arrive, and then a quick meeting before the V Live prep begins.

Everyone is told to wait at the table in the lobby, and then one of their staff members rushes off. Yeonjun sits across from Soobin and beside Taehyun. He can tell the other four know something he doesn’t.

Soobin nudges his foot under the table.

“Okay, hyung?”

Yeonjun nods. To put it plainly, he feels hollow. His first birthday since debut, his first birthday spent with MOAs, and also his first birthday without his family.

“We’ll make it fun,” Beomgyu promises, right as two staff members rush into the room. One of them has a vlog camera in hand and the other one has a bag shaped suspiciously like a boxed cake. It only takes Yeonjun a few seconds to put two and two together.

It’s not particularly funny in the moment, but looking at it later will always make Yeonjun laugh. Without shame, the four members pull the cake they’ll use for the livestream out and start decorating it directly in front of Yeonjun.

It’s cute, watching them pick apart the fruit at the top to make way for the candles, but there’s also a part of Yeonjun that wishes this was a proper surprise. He feels embarrassed that he’s thinking that, and knows he should be more thankful for everything they’re doing for him. He should take what he’s been given and be grateful for it.

The staff member vlogging only pans over to Yeonjun a few times, likely only capturing his stunned expression, still unbelieving they’re doing this right in front of him. The four of them chatter away, pretending he’s not in the same room as him. It’s cute and funny, which is exactly what MOA will like.

Just as the cake preparation is reaching completion, Yeonjun feels it. A warm burning on his skin, near his armpit, just for a moment. He breathes in sharply and then a second later it’s gone.

“Bathroom,” Yeonjun mumbles, chair scraping the floor as he stands.

He walks as normally as he can to one of the single stall bathrooms, breathing rapidly as he double checks that he’s locked the door. This is fine. He can do this. This is fine.

Yeonjun pulls off his sweater in one swift motion and takes a step closer to the mirror, lifting his left arm up. There, between his elbow and shoulder, is his soulmate mark. It’s on the underside of his arm, not visible when he has his arm down, and about three centimeters in diameter.

Yeonjun can turn his head to the side and make out the mark, pushing it closer with his fingers. His skin is perfectly smooth, the mark just a bit darker than his skin tone, a light brown, as Yeonjun stares at it.

He can’t quite believe that it looks like an almost blobby star. It’s a rounded shape with five rounded points, all unequal in size. It looks sort of like an ink blot, a splatter. Near the bottom right point is a perfect circle, just a few millimetres away from the star shape. Almost like an orbiting planet, caught in the atmosphere of the star. Yeonjun thinks it’s really pretty.

He lets out a shuddering breath and runs his finger over it a few more times, just to be sure. Then he delicately traces the outline, trying to memorize the shape of it with his pointer finger. This mark is now permanently on his body. It may get scared or fade, but it will always be there. It’s a part of Yeonjun now.

His phone buzzes and he pulls it out to see his mom has texted him. Smiling, he replies quickly, describing the shape. She sends back an emoticon of a mother cat hugging a baby cat.

Yeonjun returns back to the lobby, ready for the live. They’ll be doing it on the couch, all five of them squished together. The staff have already laid out some food and are adjusting the phone on the tripod. It’s a live for Yeonjun's birthday, but it’s also a Chuseok live. Yeonjun feels embarrassed that it’s both at once and even suggested they didn’t need to do anything for him, but the staff wouldn’t hear it.

“Hyung,” Taehyun says, stepping over and grasping Yeonjun’s wrist gently. He doesn’t even have to say anything else for Yeonjun to know what he’s asking.

Yeonjun just gives him a curt nod and Taehyun’s eyes go wide for a second, before he smiles and lets him go. Yeonjun’s sure the others have figured it out too. They’ll have to wait until afterwards to talk about it.

They make Yeonjun sit in the middle of the couch and he adjusts his bucket hat as the staff start the live. Knees knocking, shoulder to shoulder, the one thing he feels very happy about getting to do on his birthday is spend it with these four.

The live goes exactly how Yeonjun thought it would.

All five of them vehemently ignore any and all comments about Yeonjun’s soulmate mark. Some idols talk about it, some even reveal the general area that it’s located in, but Yeonjun wants all of it to be kept a secret. This is something that only he and one other person share, so he wants to keep it all private.

They celebrate Chuseok and talk about their mini party last night. Soobin stands up abruptly at one part and brings the cake over, the other three interrupting what Yeonjun was saying in order to sing him Happy Birthday one more time. While blowing out his candles, Yeonjun wishes that next year they become even more successful and that everyone stays healthy.

Once they’re finally all bundled into the vans, Yeonjun closes his eyes immediately, the exhaustion of the day catching up to him all at once. No one talks to him the entire ride home and it’s only after they’ve all hung up their jackets and shuffled into the kitchen to put the two leftover cakes in the fridge does Taehyun speak.

“So? Where is it?”

Yeonjun finds himself blushing immediately, embarrassed at how nervously everyone is looking at him. He’s still wearing his same sweater and pants, so his entire body’s covered. He lifts up his left arm and points at his tricep,

“Here,” he indicates.

Soobin lets out the biggest sigh of relief, a smile spreading across his face.

“Okay, well, let us see!” Beomgyu jabbers excitedly. He steps over and his nimble fingers find the hem of Yeonjun’s sweater, already trying to pull it up.

“Yah!” Yeonjun hits him and steps back, brows furrowing. “Let me get changed first.”

“Lets all get changed and then go sit on the couch,” Soobin suggests. Tomorrow is Saturday, but they still have to get up early for some overseas interview. The rest of the day is free after that, but still, Yeonjun can tell they’re all very tired.

Yeonjun grabs some sweatpants and a tank top that are on a drying rack by the kitchen and escapes to the bathroom. He checks on his mark again as he changes, rubbing his thumb over it again. His hair is a mess, very straw-like and in need of dyeing by his roots again, so he goes over to the hooks by the door and grabs a beanie too.

Beomgyu’s the only one on the couch when Yeonjun appears and he can’t help but laugh when Beomgyu audibly brightens at his arrival.

“What are you so excited for?” Yeonjun teases, crossing one leg under him as he sits down.

“I just wanna see!” Beomgyu replies, eyes immediately zeroing on Yeonjun’s bare arm, even though the mark isn’t visible yet.

Kai and Taehyun come out of their bedroom a moment later, beelining it to the couch as well. Kai comes to the other side of Yeonjun while Taehyun sits on the ottoman that’s in front of the couch. Kai slips his arm around Yeonjun’s and leans his head on Yeonjun’s shoulder, smushing his cheek into Yeonjun’s skin.

Soobin emerges a few minutes later, a bag of chips in hand, which he hands to Taehyun once he stops in front of the couch. He doesn’t sit down, he remains standing, crossing his arms and staring at Yeonjun.

“Why is this so embarrassing,” Yeonjun mumbles, burying his face in his hands and letting out a garbled noise. He feels Beomgyu pinch at his skin, his fingers kneading into his side. A tiresome reminder of what Yeonjun promised them.

“C’mon, just show us,” Beomgyu groans, he jostles Yeonjun back and forth.

“You can take your time,” Kai says quietly, a gentle reminder.

Yeonjun lets out a big exhale and lifts his head up, blinking at them a few times before slowly raising his arm. Beomgyu’s on the side of his mark, so he immediately latches onto Yeonjun’s elbow and shoulder, holding his arm up with a tight grip.

“Wah!” Beomgyu screams, his eyes centimeters away from Yeonjun’s mark, “Wah!!!”

“Shut up,” Soobin says gruffly and Yeonjun’s eyes meet his, thanking him silently.

“Whoa, hyung. That looks cool,” Taehyun says. He’s leaned completely forward, centimetres away from falling off the ottoman.

Yeonjun manages to wiggle out of Beomgyu’s grasp just a bit so he can turn towards Kai and that’s when Soobin takes a step forward too.

“Wow, I’ve never seen hyung’s armpit so up close,” Beomgyu comments and Yeonjun leans over and pinches his thigh. While Beomgyu’s squealing in pain, Kai reaches out and touches it, running the pad of his finger over the outline of it. Yeonjun can’t help but let out a little gasp when he does it, startled yet understanding.

“It suits hyung,” Kai settles on, turning to look at Yeonjun with a sweet smile.

“Are you going to try and find the match?” Taehyun asks quietly. Yeonjun notices both he and Soobin are still staring at the mark.

Yeonjun shakes his head. “I have more important things to worry about right now.”

“It looks like a star, right? I’m not going crazy?” Kai asks, craning his head to take another look at it. Yeonjun bites his lip, trying not to smile so wide.

“Yeah, I thought that too,” Yeonjun says softly. “Okay, can I have my arm back?” he asks Beomgyu. He finally lets go and there’s faint imprints of Beomgyu’s fingers on his skin. He lowers his arm down and it feels like there’s immediately a shift in the room.

“So, you’re going to cover it, right?” Soobin asks.

“Yeah, I think a patch will be easiest, for the location. Shouldn’t be too much of a hassle,” Yeonjun says. “I’ll bring it up next time we’re at the company.”

Soobin nods, biting his thumb nail. Yeonjun knows how stressed Soobin is about the location of their marks, so he’s glad that the first one’s in an almost completely hidden spot. He knows most of his stage outfits for 9 and Three Quarters (Run Away) have longer sleeves, so there won’t be any need for adjustments.

“Wah, I’m kind of jealous…” Beomgyu sighs, leaning back against the couch.

Yeonjun lets out a laugh of disbelief. What would Beomgyu even have to be jealous about?

“Just wait, hyung,” Taehyun says, “Time will move so fast, one day you’ll wake up and realize your birthday’s tomorrow.”

Beomgyu just hums.

“Okay, time for bed?” Yeonjun suggests. Soobin nods and they shuffle out of the room together.

Once Yeonjun is settled in his bottom bunk, he looks across the room to Soobin, whose back is to him, already fast asleep. Yeonjun looked it up this afternoon: there’s 14 months, 3 weeks and 1 day until Soobin’s 21st birthday. A little over a year and he won’t be the only person in the group with a mark. As much as Yeonjun doesn’t care, the thought comforts him as he falls asleep.

December 2019 -

The comeback goes well. They sell 124,000 copies in the first week and they win The Show. Promotions are fun and Yeonjun keeps his hair blue even though dyeing it hurts and his hair just gets more and more damaged every time. He likes how it looks and wants to try every other non-conventional colour now.

Every morning he wakes up and has to go out in public, Yeonjun has to cover his mark. He switches between a patch, almost like a bandaid, or a heavy foundation one of the makeup stylists gave him. It’s an extra step, but it quickly becomes a part of his routine.

He gets to go home and visit his parents. Spend good quality time with them. Show them his mark. His mom’s eyes well with tears and Yeonjun can’t help but beam at her. They both respect the fact that he wants to focus on nothing but Tomorrow X Together right now and it lifts a weight off his shoulders he didn’t know he had.

The members seem to forget about the mark too. They never ask to see it, never ask Yeonjun if he’s done any more research into it. Yeonjun’s glad, he likes how well they know him.

He still gets asked about it, at fansigns, in the comments during lives, in the letters they get delivered to them. Yeonjun still sticks to the fact that he won’t acknowledge any part of it publicly. He knows that’ll probably change once more of his members get one of their own, but for now he can have this.

He’ll support Soobin when his birthday comes next year and he’ll try to match the energy everyone else had for him. But right now, he knows they have to hunker down and work harder. A comeback has come and gone, but that just means there’s soon going to be another. Another opportunity to show the world how good they can be. How well they can sing, how in-sync they can dance, how much stage presence they can hold.

Yeonjun hopes whoever his soulmate is, that they understand Yeonjun’s number one priority will always and forever be his job.

Chapter Text

November 2020 -

Soobin figures he’s the most prepared person in the world to get his soulmate mark.

He’s read every single article about soulmate marks on Naver, pouring over the discussions and debates users are having in the comments. He’s watched every drama there is that features the marks as a trope. A new Netflix movie came out a month ago called Unmarked, about a woman who turns 20 and doesn’t get hers. Soobin watched it in the first twenty-four hours it was released and has been scouring the internet for any sort of theories about it. He pours over soulmate forums, watches YouTubers who share their stories about finding their soulmates, and listens to interviews about celebrities who talk about having to keep their marks hidden.

At this point Soobin is prepared for anything.

He does want to meet his soulmate, probably sooner rather than later, but not immediately. It’s only their second December as a group, but he’s beginning to realize every December will be hectic with the amount of end of year shows they have. Even with the pandemic going on, their schedule is still jam packed.

The day before his birthday he has Music Bank, the day of his birthday they have the Melon Music Awards, and the day after are the Mnet Asian Music Awards. Soobin believes if he can survive these next 72 hours he can survive anything.

The group is so busy that the members aren’t really bugging him about his birthday, so it’s a surprise when Yeonjun pulls him aside after dance practise one afternoon.

“Hey,” Yeonjun says softly, looking at him with concern in his eyes. His eyebrows are pinched, cheeks pink from how hard they’ve been dancing.

“Is everything okay?” Soobin asks. He rubs a palm over his forehead, wiping the sweat away.

“Yeah,” Yeonjun says, but it doesn’t sound like everything’s okay. “Yeah, I was just going to ask about you.”

“About me?” Soobin’s very confused.

“About your birthday,” Yeonjun elaborates.

“Oh. Yeah. Right,” Soobin says eloquently. It’s not often that Yeonjun comes and talks to him like this. He can tell they’re both beginning to get embarrassed about the length of the conversation.

Yeonjun lets out an exasperated laugh, hiding his face in his hand for a second. “Just–If you want to talk, I’m here.” He fixes Soobin with a look and then practically speed walks over to the other side of the room, grabbing a bottle of barley tea from Kai.

Soobin doesn’t need to talk to Yeonjun about it. He doesn’t need to talk to anyone about it. He’s read up on every possible scenario, whatever comes his way, he can handle it.

December 2020 -

The Music Bank staff are the nicest people in the world. They shower Soobin in praise, give him a personalized cake and decorate his entire waiting room for his birthday. Soobin feels indebted to them in a way he can’t describe.

After he gets home from filming, Beomgyu and Taehyun are awake, eating a plain breakfast in the kitchen. They’re all getting picked up for one last dance practice at the company, complete with costumes and backup dancers for an awards show in a few weeks. Soobin stifles a yawn as he trudges into the room.

“Hi, hyung,” Beomgyu says, still half asleep. “Do you want any?” He rattles the cereal box in Soobin’s direction.

“No, I got stuff from MuBank,” he explains, lifting up the three bags he’s carrying.

“Cake?” Taehyun asks and Soobin nods.

“Is it any good?”

Soobin shrugs. “Haven’t tried it yet. But there’s snacks and stuff. One pack of meat I think.”

Taehyun nods and goes back to staring into space. His blonde hair looks particularly fried this morning and Soobin winces looking at it. His own brown spray dye isn’t doing much better, but he couldn’t take anymore of the blue. It is such a hassle to dye his hair, and he didn’t want to have to worry about something else in the upcoming weeks.

“Are you nervous about tomorrow?” Beomgyu asks and Soobin pauses as he shuts the fridge.

“About…?” Soobin trails off as Beomgyu gives him a look. “My mark?”

“Obviously, hyung,” Beomgyu says as Taehyun giggles.

“No. Not nervous.”

“You’ll show us, right?”

Soobin makes a non-committal noise. Beomgyu keeps staring at him until Soobin nods. He doesn’t particularly understand everyone’s obsession with wanting to see, but sure, he can entertain this idea. He mainly wanted to see Yeonjun’s to make sure it wasn’t in too obvious of a spot.

“It’s okay if you don’t want to,” Taehyun says quietly.

“No, it’s fine,” Soobin brushes him off. He grabs the remaining bag and his backpack off the counter. “I’m gonna go play until we have to leave.”

⩇⩇:⩇⩇

Soobin wakes up with a start.

Something different, something’s wrong, and then he remembers that it’s his birthday and collapses back onto his pillow.

Soobin was born early in the morning. His mother loves to tell the story of how her water broke while they were eating dessert and had to leave the house with food still in their bowls. And then she was in labour practically the whole night, until finally Soobin arrived.

There’s a faint warmth on his right side, over his lower ribs. Soobin bolts up again, checking the room. Beomgyu still seems to be asleep. His bedside clock reads a little after 2:00AM.

The floor is cold as he makes his way to the bathroom, flicking on the light and blinking at his reflection. His hair is a mess, bags under his eyes more pronounced than normal, and one side of his face is red from being mushed into his pillow.

Soobin lifts up his shirt and turns the side of his body to face the mirror. He blinks once, twice, at the faint shape and then drops the material in hand, fingers suddenly trembling. There’s no fucking way.

No, no, Soobin must be seeing things. He practically rips his shirt off, bundling it up and holding it close to his chest in a ball, facing the mirror head on. He stares at himself, chest heaving, as he mentally prepares himself for a second look.

Again, Soobin turns towards the mirror, this time looking down at his own skin. His thumb and forefinger bracket the mark, framing it in a way that confirms to Soobin he isn’t seeing things. This is real. His mark has five blobby points, like a star, and a smaller circle by the top right point. Exactly like Yeonjun’s mark. One might even say it’s identical to Yeonjun’s mark.

Soobin feels like he’s going to throw up.

He clutches onto the bathroom counter, trying to calm his breathing. He won’t be able to get through this if he can’t think rationally. And he needs oxygen in his brain to think rationally. He squeezes his eyes shut, counting to thirty, before he reopens them. He checks his side. The mark is still there.

Soobin runs a hand over it, pinches his skin, tries to rub it off. The mark stays there, imprinted into his skin, now a permanent part of his body. Sobbin takes a deep shuddering breath.

The last time he saw Yeonjun’s mark was probably just under a year ago. He’s seen it only a handful of times, mostly right after he got it, so he could be misremembering it. Maybe one of the points isn’t exactly the same size. Many people think they’ve found their match and then it turns out there’s one part of their mark that’s too big, too small, too slanted, too rounded. This is a common occurrence that happens all around the world all of the time. That’s probably what’s happening here.

Because if that’s not what’s happening… If Yeonjun really does have the same mark as Soobin, he doesn’t know what he’ll do. He puts the toilet seat down and sits, burying his face in his hands. There’s no way he and Yeonjun are soulmates. He likes Yeonjun, sure, but not like that. Soobin thought he was prepared for anything, but this is crazy. Yes, he’s watched a dramas where coworkers end up getting matching marks, but there were signs before, subtle flirting and tension and it all makes sense in the end. Soobin doesn’t think if someone on the outside were to look at his and Yeonjun’s relationship they would see any signs of them being soulmates.

It’s too early in the morning to be thinking about all this and they have a busy day ahead of themselves. Soobin feels like a panic attack before the sun’s up wouldn’t help the general flow of everything. So, he pulls himself up, puts his shirt back on, and resounds himself to go back to his and Beomgyu’s room and sleep for a few more hours. He needs to deny, he needs to imagine this never happened, he needs to pretend today isn’t even his birthday.

Once they’re less busy he can deal with this all.

Soobin wakes up for a second time with a start. He blinks his eyes open and sees Beomgyu hovering over him, puffy hair rounding his face.

“Happy birthday hyung,” he says cheerfully, “It’s time to get up.”

The members all give him back rubs and butt pats as he makes his way into the kitchen, grabbing a quick snack before having to leave. He changed quickly and blindly, not too sure what he put on or where they’re going.

Soobin wishes he had a manuel for this type of situation. How to Remain a Good Leader of Your Idol Group Even After You Just Found Out You’re Soulmates With One of Your Members: A first edition. He supposes for a situation like this he’ll have to entrust the internet.

Just as he’s about to pull out this phone, Yeonjun appears in front of him, hair tucked into a beanie and a smile on his face.

“Happy birthday, Soobin-ah.”

“Thanks, hyung.”

“So?” Yeonjun asks, eyebrows raised.

Soobin feels his face getting hot. He feels like he’s going to throw up again.

“Yeah,” he whispers breathlessly, “I got it.”

Yeonjun envelopes him in a big hug. “I’m happy for you,” he says into Soobin’s neck, and when he pulls back he looks relieved. Yeonjun doesn’t ask him any more questions, just pats Soobin’s shoulder and turns to put his jacket on.

Kai gives Soobin a fuzzy grey robe with bunny ears attached to the top as a birthday present and the staff think it’s a wonderful idea for Soobin to wear it during his birthday live. He does so, and spends half an hour talking with MOA until the members burst in with a cake and start singing. The denial about Soobin’s soulmate mark is working. He doesn’t think about it at all, the afternoon zipping by without too much anxiety.

They have to get ready for the MMAs at the company, making sure to seclude and separate everyone for safety. Soobin almost takes his shirt off in front of a stylist before requesting he change behind one of the screens, grabbing his shirt and pants and running off in embarrassment.

His soulmate mark is still there when he takes his shirt off, a pinkish brown now, and Soobin wonders if he should cover it up. This is proven true when he slips his red carpet shirt on and realizes the mark can be seen. His shirt is long sleeved and black, but the sleeves are sheer, and the same sheer material dips low under his armpit, only turning a solid black further down his side.

Soobin pops his head out from behind the screen and motions for the same stylist to come help him. She hurries over, a worried look on her face. Soobin decides it’s best to just say it outright.

“I got my mark…today,” he clarifies, as if they didn’t all immediately sing him Happy Birthday when he arrived, “And I think you can see it, through my shirt,” he continues, motioning to his side.

The stylist's eyes go wide for a second and then she pulls out a brush and some sort of compact makeup container and motions for Soobin to lift up his shirt. He bites his lip. He doesn’t know how many staff members have seen Yeonjun’s mark and he really doesn’t want any of them putting two and two together, but he decides to risk it. Explaining why he would want to cover it up himself would probably raise more questions.

He lifts his shirt gingerly and watches the stylist’s face, searching for any moment of realization, but she’s blank faced throughout it all, quickly dabbing on some product. In under a minute, it looks like Soobin’s mark never existed.

He thanks her profusely, but she waves her hand as if it’s not a big deal and runs back out to help another member. Soobin finishes putting on his pants and socks and then tries to stand inconspicuously in front of the mirror to double check his mark isn’t visible.

“What’s wrong, hyung?” Beomgyu teases, coming to stand way too close behind him. Soobin elbows him, pouting.

“Nothing. Go away.”

Beomgyu makes a face at him in the mirror and moves on.

The evening comes to standstill once the award show is over. The red carpet goes fine, Soobin is asked about his birthday and politely thanks MOA for celebrating it with him. The actual award portion is underwhelming. No live audience, no live performances, and they don’t end up winning anything.

They head back to the BigHit building to change and give back their outfits. Once that’s all over, Soobin finds Kai and Taehyun sitting in the lobby, waiting for everyone to be done so they can all get driven back together.

Soobin collapses onto the couch beside Kai, letting out a groan.

“MAMAs tomorrow,” Taehyun mumbles, head resting on Kai’s other shoulder. “We can do this.”

Soobin hums, closing his eyes. He’s tired, but also the type of tired where things sort of just start blurring together and he can’t think straight. It’s silent for a moment before Soobin hears footsteps. He cracks an eye open to see Beomgyu coming in. He sits down beside Soobin, grabbing on this thigh and squeezing. Soobin’s eyes shoot open.

“Hyung, you have to show us your mark,” Beomgyu says.

Of course. How could Soobin have forgotten? He wonders if he closes his eyes and plays dead Beomgyu will leave him alone.

“Hello? Choi Soobin? Can you hear?”

Soobin groans and flops his head to the side to look at Beomgyu. It would be so incredibly easy, just to lift his shirt up a little and show them. But he can’t. He wouldn’t be able to explain himself, he wouldn’t know what to say, Soobin realizes with a horrible crush that he’s embarrassed by the fact that he could be Yeonjun’s soulmate.

The door squeaks open and Yeonjun appears, a big scarf wrapped around his neck. He stops short once he sees Beomgyu hovering close to Soobin’s face.

“What are we talking about?” Yeonjun says with a lazy smile.

“Hyung needs to show us his mark,” Beomgyu says, pouting.

Something flickers in Yeonjun’s eyes, a slight crease in between his eyebrows, his lips dipping into a frown for just a moment. And then it’s gone. Soobin sits up with a sigh. He looks at Beomgyu, then at Kai and Taehyun, and then he stands up and walks over so he’s facing all four of them.

“I don’t want to make this a big deal, but, I…I’d…,” Soobin doesn’t know quite how to say this. “I’d rather not show you guys. If that’s okay,” Soobin adds hurriedly. He has his hands up in surrender and pulls them down to his sides, embarrassed by how scared he is to admit this.

At first no one says anything. Soobin watches as Beomgyu’s face morphs into one of surprise, his mouth dropping open, eyes unblinking. Kai and Taehyun seemed shocked too, but only for a moment. Yeonjun freezes, eyebrows furrowing as his eyes bore into Soobin’s.

“Really?” Kai says, voice small.

“Yeah,” Soobin says sheepishly. He reaches up to scratch at the back of his neck. “It’s high up on my stomach and I don’t really feel like showing it…because…well.” Soobin should’ve rehearsed this better. “I’d rather keep it private.”

The room lapses into another bout of awkward silence. Soobin stares at the floor, too upset to look up.

“That’s okay,” Taehyun finally says.

“Yeah, sorry, hyung. That’s fine,” Beomgyu agrees. Soobin looks up and lets out a sigh of relief. It suddenly feels a bit silly for thinking they were going to get mad at him.

“Thank you,” Soobin squeaks out. He brushes a hand over his face, and then chances a look at Yeonjun. He’s still staring at Soobin like he’s trying to read his mind. “Sorry, I know I said I would, but, just–After I got it, I realized it was more important to me than I thought.” Soobin hates to lie to them, but it’s the easiest way out.

“That’s understandable,” Yeonjun finally speaks. He shuffles over and puts an arm around Soobin’s shoulders, squeezing him tight. “ And if you ever want to show us, we’ll be right here.”

The other three nod. Kai even gives Soobin a thumbs up. An emptiness settles inside of Soobin, but he manages a weak smile. He can’t imagine a world where he’d want all of them to see his mark, but one day, maybe one day he could work something out.

By late December Soobin feels like he’s going insane.

He’s stared at his mark so much that he can visualize the shape of it when he closes his eyes. This has therefore confirmed that it matches Yeonjun’s. Which makes them soulmates. Which is why Soobin’s losing his mind. He’s taken to staring at Yeonjun, trying to imagine what that would be like. Look at him in a way that makes him feel attracted to him. It’s going horribly.

“Soobin-ah? Are you listening to anything I’m saying?”

Soobin blinks and Yeonjun’s light pink hair comes back into view.

“Hm? What?”

“Protocol team is asking if we want to be driven home now.” Yeonjun says. He’s looking at Soobin like he has something on his face.

They’re both at the company, Yeonjun to do some solo dance practice and Soobin to do a live. It’s now the awkward weeks after all the end of the year award shows have ended and New Year’s is looming, only a few days away. They’ve had time off to spend with their families, but Soobin came back early. He can’t get Yeonjun out of his head.

“Yah, seriously…” Yeonjun reaches out and pinches Soobin’s ear, rubbing the soft skin with his thumb and forefinger. “Is something wrong?”

“No, no, I’m fine,” Soobin says way too quickly. “We can leave now if you want.”

“Well, what do you want?”

“Whatever you want.”

Yeonjun fixes him with a look. His earrings swing back and forth. Soobin’s mesmerised by them.

“If you want to tell me something, you can just say it.”

Soobin colours, leaning back so far Yeonjun has to let go of his ear. It stings for a few minutes after, as Soobin follows Yeonjun to the parking lot, an incessant reminder Yeonjun will be a constant presence by his side.

Soobin is officially going insane and he decides he’s going to do something about it during a rehearsal for BigHit’s New Year’s livestream. They’re only doing four songs, so it’s not the most exhausting set in the world, but at this point Soobin’s just wishing this year would be over.

Yeonjun’s pink hair is fading. He’s dieting diligently and he’s still flirting with Soobin whenever they're in front of the cameras. Now, though, when they’re three hours into their rehearsal, sweat pooling at his hairline and cheeks red, Soobin can see how much the past month has taken a toll on him.

Selfishly, Soobin doesn’t want to be the only person going through this. He wants to tell Yeonjun, so they can figure it out together, so they can shoulder the burden as a duo. He wants to tell Yeonjun so he can have someone to talk to. He wants to tell Yeonjun because he always knows what to say.

The second their head choreographer calls for a 10 minute break, Soobin beelines over to Yeonjun and grabs his wrist. Yeonjun startles, trying to pull his arm back.

“What?”

“Can we–” Soobin whispers, leaning forward. “Can we talk?”

Yeonjun’s eyes go wide.

“S-sure,” he whispers back, panic clearly rising.

“It’s okay,” Soobin says, trying to ease the anxious energy around them. It’s fine. Everything’s fine. It’s just that they’re probably soulmates, but that’s totally and completely fine.

Soobin drags Yeonjun out of the room, ignoring the looks from the others. Maybe after this they can explain. Hopefully Soobin can come clean because the guilt that is eating away at him every time he looks at his mark is suffocating.

They end up in a smaller change room beside the bathrooms. There’s a hoodie someone left, hanging limply from a hook, and Soobin positions himself so that he can stare at that instead of Yeonjun’s troubled face. He doesn’t lock the door, but he thinks about it.

“What’s going on?” Yeonjun asks nervously. He’s gnawing at his thumb nail.

“I have to show you something,” Soobin says slowly.

“What?”

“It’ll just be easier to show you, here, c’mere.” He beckons Yeonjun over. He slowly takes a few steps closer. They’re only about a forearm’s length apart. Soobin screws his eyes shut and takes a deep breath. Gingerly, he takes the hem of his t-shirt and lifts it up to his sternum. Yeonjun steps away, holding a hand up, until Soobin turns and Yeonjun catches sight of his mark. Then he freezes.

Soobin’s still breathing heavily from dancing, added onto the fact that he feels like his heart is about to explode, and he watches as his stomach goes in and out, in and out, the mark moving with his skin.

“Is this your mark?” Soobin asks simply. He presses his hand to his side, pulling the skin taut.

Yeonjun steps forward, bends down, blinks. He puts a hand over his mouth and Soobin watches as he eyes widen, eyebrows shooting up.

“Holy shit,” says Yeonjun.

“Let me see yours.”

Yeonjun’s wearing a long sleeve, so he takes his left sleeve off, pushing his shirt up all the way to his neck. Soobin adamantly avoids staring at his chest. He raises his arm and Soobin leans in.

“Hyung.”

“I can’t believe you didn’t say anything to me.”

Soobin looks over to Yeonjun’s face and realizes he’s mad, actually angry with him.

“It’s almost been a month.” Yeonjun’s voice is gruff and he clears his throat. “Why didn’t you say anything?”

“Are you kidding me?” Sobin asks in completely disbelief. “Are you serious?”

“Yes, I’m serious. You’ve been lying to us for a month!”

Soobin gapes at him.

He doesn’t know what to say, doesn’t know what to do. He wasn’t expecting out of all the possible reactions for Yeonjun to have that he’d be angry.

“I’m sorry,” Soobin deflates, voice soft. He drops his shirt down and steps back, taking a seat on the bench that lines the room. “I was just really scared and didn’t know what you’d think.”

Yeonjun’s body wilts and he drops his arm as well. Hands on hips, he takes a deep breath. “Sorry, sorry, that was…Sorry. I just can’t believe you kept this from me. We could’ve figured it out together.”

Something grips in Soobin’s chest. A pang, an understanding, a feeling that he gets exactly what Yeonjun’s trying to say. For all the spiralling Soobin was doing he never stopped to think about the fact that Yeonjun’s his soulmate and therefore he wouldn’t have been mad at Soobin if he’d brought up his concern right away.

Soobin feels like an idiot.

“I’m sorry,” Soobin says, muffled, because he has to bury his face in his hands if he thinks he can get through this conversation. “I wasn’t even considering you being okay with this. I was just panicking and letting that panic grow.”

“I can see that,” Yeonjun says with a tiny laugh. “I forgive you, though. That must’ve been quite a shock.”

“Right. And, yeah, it was, because it’s not like we’re in love with each other or anything.”

Soobin’s statement hangs dead in the air for a few moments. He uncovers his face to see Yeonjun grimacing.

“We definitely need to talk about this more, but it can’t be now.”

“Agreed.”

“But in the next couple days? Promise?” Yeonjun asks, sticking a hand out.

Soobin takes it and pulls himself up. “Promise.”

The night before the New Year’s concert, Soobin and Yeonjun decide to take a walk together.

It’s cold and Yeonjun makes Soobin put a scarf and gloves on. Most of the heavier snow has melted, but some fences and rooftops are still littered with white. Soobin breathes in deeply, letting the winter air chill his bones as they turn onto a side street that’ll lead to a nicer walking path.

“So,” Yeonjun starts off with. “Do you think we should tell the company?”

Yesterday the two of them measured their marks to make sure they were completely identical. Then Soobin went on an internet deep dive to try and find an example of people thinking their marks were identical but finding out only a millimetre of difference. Nothing of the sort exists. Everyone that has a similar mark has some sort of obvious difference. Silently, the two of them resounded themselves to the fact that they were 100% soulmates.

“I don’t think so,” Soobin says as calmly as possible. He absolutely does not think in any circumstance they should tell the company, but doesn’t want to come on too strong. He has a feeling he and Yeonjun will have very different opinions about how to handle this.

“Okay, I agree. Should we tell the members?”

Soobin glances over at him. Yeonjun asks the question so casually, and his face reflects that as well. His nose is slightly red, but other than that Yeonjun looks normal, looks in control.

“I–” Soobin doesn’t know how to put it into words without sounding like an asshole. “I don’t want to, but we might have to?” he hesitantly puts it.

Yeonjun nods and looks at him. Now he looks scared.

“I don’t want this to create some sort of divide within the group. I don’t want the others to think I’ll care about them less because of this or think I’ll always side with you,” Yeonjun explains. He’s frowning now, his features becoming more harsh, and Soobin looks away.

A streetlight flickers over top of them.

“Me neither,” Soobin says quietly. “I don’t want this to change anything about us.”

“Soobin-ah.” Yeonjun stops walking. Soobin stops too, fitfully turning towards him. “I think this is going to change us and we have to accept that.” Yeonjun sighs. Soobin realizes he looks so tired. “It’s going to be hard, but we can’t deny what this means.”

It’s true, what Yeonjun’s saying. But Soobin feels so scared about it. He doesn’t want to deal with this at the same time as being an idol. He wishes constantly they were afforded more privacy within their job, but right now he’s aching for it, loathing the fact that so much of their lives have to be filmed and broadcast.

“You’re right,” Soobin settles on. “I’m scared and I don’t want to admit how much this is going to affect us. But it is.”

Yeonjun manages a small smile.

“We’ll get through this, right?” Soobin asks tentatively.

“Of course, pabo-yah. I’m your soulmate, I’m not letting you go now.”

It’s the first time either of them have said it out loud and Soobin feels like he’s just got the wind knocked out of him. He struggles to smile normally, but he can tell he must look freaked out by the way Yeonjun laughs at him.

“I think we should tell the others, just not right now. Now until we figure it out between us,’ Soobin suggests. “Maybe we wait until Beomgyu’s birthday?”

Yeonjun agrees. They both know Beomgyu will make a huge deal out of his mark and therefore it’ll soften the blow if they’re in the background of Beomgyu’s celebrations.

“Also…” Yeonjun looks down at the ground then back up at Soobin. He loops their arms together and pulls Soobin back in the direction they were walking in, heading back home. “We should kiss.”

“Now?!” Soobin exclaims, yanking his arm away from Yeonjun. Yeonjun bursts into a fit of laughter, hitting Soobin’s arm. He barely feels anything through his bulky coat.

“No, not now. But soon. Just to see.”

This is so embarrassing, Soobin’s sure his ears are bright red, but he understands what Yeonjun’s getting at. It’s not like he hasn’t thought about it too. He watched a drama last year about a couple who found they had matching marks and immediately moved in together. They fought for years, never really clicking, until they were both in their seventies, and that’s when they finally fell in love. Soobin hopes it doesn’t take that long with Yeonjun, but from his current standpoint he could never see himself loving him like that. Even thinking about the word scares Soobin.

He’s never been in love before, but he doesn’t think it’s how he feels about Yeonjun.

They walk the rest of the way back in silence, arms brushing up against each other randomly. Soobin feels like the heaviest of weights has been lifted off of his shoulders. He feels like he can breathe properly now, and put more focus into their career. It’s often Yeonjun who reminds him he shouldn’t keep anything bottled up, so Soobin’s glad he said something. He just wishes they could fall for each other as easily as that.

January 2021 -

It’s Yeonjun who makes the first move. Obviously. Soobin could’ve seen this coming a million miles away.

He’s fucking around on his computer one night, scrolling aimlessly through Coupang, when there’s a knock on his door. It’s not an urgent knock, which means there hasn’t been a disaster in the kitchen or a bug to kill in the hallway.

Beomgyu’s out with his parents, so whoever it is must be here specifically for him.

Soobin slides the door open to see Yeonjun standing there, baggy grey sweatpants on and a white t-shirt. His hair is damp.

“Hi,” Yeonjun breathes out. He looks strikingly nervous, a facial expression Soobin hardly ever gets to see on him.

“Hi,” Soobin says back. “Would you like to come in?” He smiles cheekily and Yeonjun huffs out a laugh before smiling back.

They sit on Soobin’s bed, both crossed legged and facing each other. Yeonjun’s anxiously playing with the hem of his t-shirt, twisting it around his fingers so tightly they’re turning red.

“Can we, can we try tonight?” Yeonjun asks softly.

For some reason, Soobin chuckles. What Yeonjun’s asking is something he never would’ve thought he’d be doing in a million years. He thinks back to the day they signed their contract with BigHit. How was he to know his life would’ve possibly turned out this way? It’s fate, in a sickening sense.

“Of course, yeah,” Soobin says seriously when Yeonjun jerks his bowed head up, surprised by Soobin’s laughter. “It’s just–”

“You never expected you’d be doing this?” Yeonjun finishes for him and Soobin nods. That gets a smile out of Yeonjun.

Soobin’s never done this before; kissing someone with so much preparation. And awkwardness. Above all, Soobin feels so awkward. He doesn’t know what to do with his body, his limbs feeling too long and gangly. The size of his bed doesn’t help either, but eventually they find their positioning.

Soobin’s legs are spread and out straight in front of him, arms locked and propping him up. Yeonjun hovers, on his knees, in between Soobin’s legs. Yeonjun looms over him, a gentle hand tracing the shape of Soobin’s jaw.

They’re so close in a way they haven’t been in years. No makeup on, no cameras on, low lighting in the quiet of the dorm. Soobin feels like he’s dreaming. He watches as Yeonjun’s eyes flit over his face, something behind those eyes of his. Something Soobin wants to figure out.

“I’m scared,” Soobin whispers. Yeonjun brushes his thumb over Soobin’s lips, grazing over his skin with a practised gentleness.

“Me too,” Yeonjun whispers back. “But isn’t it less scary knowing we’re meant to be together?”

Soobin swallows and then finds himself nodding. Yeonjun nudges his knees closer and then leans in.

It’s a stupidly small kiss, Yeonjun just barely grazes Soobin’s lips before he leans back. Soobin leans forward, connecting them again. One of his hands comes up to hold Yeonjun’s hips steady and Yeonjun jolts when Soobin’s fingers slip under his t-shirt.

Yeonjun makes a soft noise and his lips part, allowing Soobin’s tongue to slip in. He grips Yeonjun tighter, until Yeonjun pulls back with a gasp.

Soobin watches as Yeonjun blinks a few times, tips of his ears so red. He sniffs and then raises his eyes to meet Soobin’s.

Soobin’s heart is hammering in his chest. He doesn’t know what he feels. Truth be told, he thought he’d feel something more when they first kissed. A burning in his chest or an ache in his head. Right now he’s sort of feeling nothing. A small part of him even feels like they’re missing something.

“Hey,” Yeonjun says softly, tiling Soobin’s chin up. “What are you thinking?”

Soobin bites his lip. He doesn’t know how honest he should be. Then he remembers how mad Yeonjun was when Soobin confessed to him. And how they’ve always promised there should be no secrets in the band.

“I don’t know,” Soobin says truthfully. “That was nice, but—” He pauses when he sees Yeonjun’s eyes widening.

“But what?” Yeonjun urges him on, mouth shaping into a smile.

“But I thought it’d feel different.”

“Different how?”

“Different…better?” Soobin tries. He watches as Yeonjun’s eyes go even wider.

They sit in silence for a moment and Soobin’s terrified he’s said the wrong thing.

“Me too,” Yeonjun whispers, fear in his eyes. Soobin leans in and kisses him again, just because this is something he can do now.

“It’s okay,” Soobin reassures him, “We’ll get the hang of it.”

“Right. We can only get better from here.”

Soobin smiles, leave it up to Yeonjun to talk about kissing like he’s talking about some technical dance skill or stage presence.

Yeonjun looks like he wants to say more, but he only licks his lips and then kisses Soobin’s forehead. He doesn’t stay much longer in Soobin’s room, content with slipping back into the hallway after they’ve collected themselves.

As Soobin lies in the dark, he wonders how long it’ll take before things will start feeling natural between the two of them.

Chapter Text

March 2021 -

“I’m going to post a picture of it on Weverse, get MOA to find my soulmate for me.”

Kai bursts out laughing and claps his hands together as Taehyun rolls his eyes.

“You are absolutely not going to do that. BigHit would kill you,” Soobin says, taking another slug of his drink.

“With my face? And this upcoming comeback? They would never,” Beomgyu shoots back, smiling wide. “They need me too much. We’d really go down in visual ranking without me here.”

“Taehyun-ah, can you hit him for me?” Yeonjun asks from across the room.

Taehyun just giggles, never the one to instigate a fight.

“Come over here and do it yourself, hyung,” Kai taunts. Beomgyu throws a gummy at him.

“Okay, fine, I won’t post anything on Weverse. What if I reveal it during a V Live?”

“Please stop talking.”

“Aw, hyung said ‘please.’ He’s trying,” Taehyun hums quietly.

Yeonjun stands up to throw the wrapper of his food away and mimes punching both Taehyun and Beomgyu. Beomgyu cowers into Taehyun’s shoulder, curling his body up on the couch.

“Okay, so no pictures, no livestreams…” Beomgyu mumbles into Taehyun’s t-shirt sleeve. He picks at a loose thread and Taehyun flinches. “I can barely do anything these days.”

Taehyun shrugs him away and then leans over to pat his head. “I think you’ll live, hyung.”

Kai snorts and Beomgyu narrows his eyes. “I hope it’s on my butt, so then I’ll have to show you all my butt.”

“Ew,” Soobin says immediately. “We do not want to see that.”

“Well, you’ll have to. Because you’re my members and you love me,” Beomgyu retorts.

Yeonjun lets out a grumble and runs his hands through his hair. “How many more days before this is all over?”

“Three, hyung. Do you want me to add a countdown on your phone?” Taehyun suggests innocently.

“Wah, Taehyun-ah, you’re so kind. I’m sure you’re so excited to celebrate my birthday,” Beomgyu says cheerily.

“I’m only suggesting I do it cause I’m not sure hyung knows how. That might be too technologically advanced for him,” Taehyun says without skipping a beat.

“Aish, you little–” Yeonjun storms over and begins tickling and pinching Taehyun’s arms, who starts squealing and then unsuccessfully trying to fight back. Beomgyu leans over to avoid getting hit in the crossfire.

Beomgyu’s so excited for his birthday. He grew up with everyone in his family having the most romantic and exciting stories about finding their soulmate. He’s watched a few dramas about soulmates, some where they’re halfway around the world from each other and some where they’re just two doors down from each other. Beomgyu loves love, and thinks, in whatever way it’ll find him, is enough to thrill him into spending the entire month before his birthday ecstatic. Now it’s only three days away and he doesn’t know what to do with himself.

He honestly wouldn’t mind showing his mark to MOA. He knows that’s unconventional and there’s maybe only one or two idols who have shown their marks to the public, but he thinks letting the fans into his journey is worthwhile. Western artists do it all the time, so it’s not like celebrities are never in the spotlight over soulmate news.

It’s different to how Yeonjun and Soobin went about their reveals, but Beomgyu doesn’t mind. He knows Yeonjun was too career-focused when he got his, but he’s still trying to figure out what exactly went wrong with Soobin. Beomgyu thinks all the excessive social media posts he was reading finally got to his head.

With the fanlive finished last week, they don’t have any huge upcoming performances. And the few that they do have are all with virtual audiences, so getting his mark is a reason Beomgyu can interact with the fans more, have something new to talk about.

Their comeback isn’t for another two months. They’ve recorded and filmed the music videos, but variety shooting hasn’t started yet. Regulations are loosening up, but Beomgyu yearns to be in a packed stadium, full of fans cheering for them.

“I’m going to work out,” Taehyun announces after he’s escaped from Yeonjun’s wrath. “Does anyone want to join?”

Soobin immediately counts himself out and Beomgyu echoes that, before jumping at the opportunity to see if Soobin wants to play a game once they get back to the dorms. Soobin agrees and Beomgyu grins, happy to have an afternoon off where they get to do whatever they want.

Beomgyu’s going to get his mark after his scheduled birthday live, so it’s not like he could even show MOA if he wanted to.

The staff set him up in one of the smaller studio spaces at the office and give him a little over an hour for the live. He has a schedule right after it, which means he’ll be coming back to the dorms alone. Which means who knows who’ll still be up by the time he gets back.

Beomgyu’s live tumbles into a pseudo competition of who can successfully visit Beomgyu during it before he actively blocks them on KaTalk. He doesn’t mean to end up so whiny, but by the time Yeonjun’s there and asking Beomgyu what exactly he wants from them, he decides to melt fully into it. Kai came in first, just for a few minutes, then Yeonjun, to gift him a new pair of sneakers, and then that leaves Taehyun and Soobin.

Beomgyu can’t keep the pout off of his face when he calls the two of them separately, asking conspicuously where they are. To Taehyun’s credit, he moves fast, showing up only a few minutes after Beomgyu hangs up on him. Reminding him that it’s his hyung’s birthday with an edge to his tone might’ve helped. Soobin, on the other hand, is stuck in traffic and it doesn’t look good for how long it’ll take him to get to the company. Beomgyu texts his manager asking for a few more minutes and they immediately respond with an okay, pushing his schedule back fifteen minutes.

Apparently MOAs are quite invested in knowing if Soobin’s going to make it or not.

In the end, he does, and Beomgyu gets his birthday wish of everyone making a cameo in his live. It’s silly, but for this one day a year, he wants as much attention as he can get. And top it off with the fact that it’s his 21st birthday? Beomgyu can’t resist but to demand everyone dote on him.

His schedule afterwards goes well. He’s raked up a total of five birthday cakes, and that becomes six when the team he’s working with in the evening presents him with one more. There won’t be room for anything in the dorm fridge but birthday cake.

By the time Beomgyu climbs into the van to take him home, he’s buzzing with excitement. He doesn’t put on any music, brain too jumpy to focus on just one thing. Instead, he texts his parents and sends them a selfie he took during the live. Just as they’re pulling onto their street, he feels it, a numb sort of warmth spreading briefly on his upper left thigh. Beomgyu’s whole body tenses up and then he lets out a deep breath, realization dawning on him.

He bolts into their building and enters the elevator as quickly as possible. He takes the bags hastily from their manager once they make it to their floor, knowing their manager’s probably figured out what’s going on. Beomgyu closes their front door harder than normal and stops, huffing from how fast he’s been walking. He drops the bags of cakes onto the floor. Yeonjun and Taehyun’s heads pop out from the kitchen.

“Everything okay?” Taehyun asks.

“I got it,” Beomgyu pants.

“Congrats,” Yeonjun says cheerfully. “Come show us when you’re done, if you want.”

Beomgyu rips off his jacket and throws his backpack haphazardly onto the floor whizzing past Soobin and Kai, who are playing some game on the TV.

He decides to go into the bathroom, since that’s the room with the biggest mirror, and slams the sliding door closed, taking him three tries to lock it properly. Instead of looking immediately, Beomgyu sits on the toilet seat for a few minutes to calm his breathing and wait until his heart isn’t beating so fast. Then he drinks two full glasses of water. Once he feels feasibly relaxed, Beomgyu changes into shorts for ease of access and then plants his left foot on the edge of the sink. If Yeonjun was here he’d be getting scolded, but he’s not, so Beomgyu balances his foot comfortably and takes a deep breath.

His mark is high up on the inside of his thigh, and Beomgyu’s instantly relieved it’s nowhere he’ll have to cover up. Even in shorts it’d still be hidden, appearing right under where his boxers end. Once Beomgyu actually focuses in on his mark the whole room seems to swoop forward and he topples towards the mirror, having to steady himself with a hand on the sink. His foot slips off the counter and hits the floor with a thud.

Beomgyu scrambles to pull his shorts up again, breathing haggardly. The room seems to swoop forward again and he squats down to steady himself, palm flat against the cupboard door under the sink. His brain is thinking a million things at once and the room is still spinning a little, but Beomgyu knows one thing for sure.

hyung
hyung can you come to the bathroom
right now
right right now
emergency
hyung

Beomgyu unlocks the door and pokes his head out in the hallway. A few moments later he sees Soobin rush into the other end of the hallway and they lock eyes.

“Hyung,” Beomgyu croaks, clutching the doorframe and slowly beginning to slide down towards the floor.

Soobin walks normally past the kitchen and then sprints towards the bathroom, ushering Beomgyu in and closing the door behind him.

“What’s going on? Are you hurt?”

Beomgyu falls to his knees, fingers digging into his thighs. He looks up at Soobin mournfully. He has absolutely no idea how to say this.

“No.”

Soobin visibly deflates, putting a hand to his chest in relief.

“Then what? Is this about–”

“My mark,” Beomgyu groans, interrupting him. He feels tears pool in the corner of his eyes and blinks them away. “I just got it.”

“Is it okay? Is it somewhere bad?”

Beomgyu drops his head and shakes it. The dizziness is returning, the more he thinks about it. The more he tries to vocalize it. He falls back onto his butt, legs out in front of him and figures it’s best to just get this over with.

He pulls up his shorts, lifting his head to look at Soobin.

“It’s the same as Yeonjun hyung's,” Beongyu says with a sob. He doesn’t even realize he’s crying so hard, too overwhelmed to be aware of his surroundings. He watches as Soobin’s expression twists into one of shock, before he brings his hand up to cover his mouth. He stares at Beomgyu in silence for a few seconds.

Beomgyu brings an arm up to wipe away his tears and then pouts, waiting for Soobin to somehow fix this problem. Soobin always knows what to do, Soobin will figure this out somehow.

“I–” Soobin starts, then stops. He blinks at Beomgyu, eyes still wide, and then dashes out of the bathroom.

Beomgyu’s jaw drops open and he lets out another pitiful cry. He can hear rushed talking and then footsteps and then the door is slid open again. This time Soobin’s standing there with Yeonjun right behind him.

Beomgyu thinks this may be the most mortifying moment of his life.

Forget the failed auditions and the mishaps on stage. This is the peak. Yeonjun, with a blush spreading across his face, looking down at Beomgyu with a facial expression he can’t quite read is the most embarrassing thing to ever happen to him. Beomgyu wants to curl in on himself and disappear forever.

“Why’d you bring hyung here,” Beomgyu sniffles, staring pointedly at Soobin. He pulls his legs in on himself, resting his chin on his knees. Soobin closes and locks the door once the two of them shuffle in.

“Because, well,” Soobin’s eyes are darting between him and Yeonjun and he’s rubbing his hands together anxiously. “Just show hyung.”

Beomgyu blinks back a fresh set of tears as Yeonjun bends down in front of him and Beomgyu shifts to cross his legs. He spreads his left leg out a little wider and with a sharp inhale lifts up the hem of his shorts.

“Hyung,” he cries, again wiping his tears away, sliding the pads of his fingers up his cheeks. Beomgyu feels too hot and stuffy to really explain himself, “Look.”

Yeonjun’s eyes widen, but then a soft smile blooms on his face and he reaches down to brush a finger over Beomgyu’s mark. The same one Yeonjun has on his arm. They’re soulmates. The two of them are soulmates. It’s the first time anyone’s touched his mark, Beomgyu hadn’t even thought of doing it himself, and he can’t help that his leg twitches.

“Beomgyu-ah,” Yeonjun says carefully, reaching over and cradling Beomgyu’s face in his hand. His pointer finger rests right under Beomgyu’s ear, thumb padding his cheek. “Why are you upset?”

“I’m not,” Beomgyu says petulantly and then laughs, for some reason. “It’s just a lot.”

Yeonjun’s smile grows wider and he lets out a little heh. Beomgyu takes a shaky breath, finally feeling like he’s caught up with himself. The room isn’t spinning, there’s no more tears falling, and Yeonjun’s looking at him like everything’s right in the world.

“Okay,” Yeonjun hums, “I’m glad you’re not upset.”

He leans in and plants a quick kiss to Beomgyu’s forehead, then he stands up and faces Soobin. Hands on his hips, he fixes Soobin with a glare.

“Take off your shirt.”

“Hyung.” Soobin’s face looks pained. Beomgyu has absolutely no idea what’s going on. A silent conversation passes between the two of them.

“Soobin-ah. Take off your shirt.”

Beomgyu winces when Soobin finally pulls it off, completely confused and a little scared. He doesn’t know why, but for a second he thinks Soobin’s going to show him some giant hidden wound. What he turns to the side to show Beomgyu is arguably ten times more shocking.

Beomgyu scrambles up, hand dropping his shorts as he leans down to look at Soobin’s side. He touches Soobin’s mark without thinking, the pads of his fingers pressing into the skin right beside Soobin’s identical soulmate mark.

“I have one too…?” Soobin says flatly, before huffing out an embarrassed laugh.

“Wah,” is all Beomgyu can say right now. He stands to his full height and looks at Yeonjun, then at Soobin. “Waah!”

Soobin shushes him then puts his shirt back on. Yeonjun reaches out and takes his hand.

“We can talk about it later. Or we can talk about it now. Whatever you like.”

“I wanna talk about it now. Right now,” Beomgyu says immediately. He actually doesn’t understand what’s happening. He has no idea how to process the fact that two of his members are his soulmates.

“Okay, yeah, we can do that,” Soobin agrees. He nods at Beomgyu and eyes him seriously.“I know. It’s a lot.”

Beomgyu nods back and he’s about to say something else when he realizes Yeonjun’s frozen, hand over his mouth. It looks like he’s just connected the dots to make some huge discovery. Then Yeonjun snorts into his hand, shaking his head and looking back and forth between the two of them.

“It has to be all five of us. It just has to be,” he mumbles.

“What,” says Beomgyu.

“Hyung,” says Soobin.

Yeonjun giggles, looking a little delirious.

“I’m not going crazy, am I? Listen, I love the two of you very much, but it can’t just be this. It wouldn't work like that.”

“Work like what?” Soobin demands. Beomgyu’s too shocked to say anything.

“Now that this is happening, we can’t leave out Taehyunnie and Hueningkai.”

“Fuck,” says Soobin.

“Whoa,” says Beomgyu. The room is starting to spin a little again. He squeezes his eyes shut tight.

This is going to have to be the longest and slowest conversation ever for Beomgyu to fully understand what’s going on.

They decide to talk about it in Yeonjun’s room. Yeonjun heads there immediately, but Beomgyu’s hungry, so he heads to the kitchen. He hasn’t eaten anything tonight except his birthday cake during the live stream.

Beomgyu braces himself as he enters the kitchen, expecting to meet Taehyun there. He doesn’t think it’ll be remotely possible to play off the fact that he’s just had to ask the two older members to come join him in the bathroom and then emerge completely red faced with tear tracks on his cheeks.

Except when he enters, no one’s there, the kitchen silent and still. Beomgyu quietly pads over and peeks into the living room, catching a glimpse of Kai and Taehyun huddled together on the couch, their heads almost touching. Beomgyu breathes a sigh of relief. No kitchen confrontation from Kang Taehyun tonight!

He quickly makes some ramyeon, and heats up some rice. He grabs a packet of seaweed as well and then a bottle of barley tea from the fridge. This should be enough to tide him down through their soulmate negotiations.

“Hyung.”

Beomgyu jumps and nearly drops the bottle in his hands before spinning around to see Taehyun leaning against the counter. He doesn’t look particularly happy.

“Wah, Taehyun-ah. Seriously, could you try to make more noise?”

“What’s going on?”

Beomgyu’s smile falls and Taehyun crosses his arms, making it abundantly clear Beomgyu’s not escaping this conversation with his good humour and silliness.

“Nothing really,” Beomgyu starts off with, choosing his words carefully. He has a feeling Yeonjun and Soobin want to keep as much of this under wraps as possible. “I just got my mark and got a little…emotional.” Yeah, emotional. That’s what he’ll settle on.

“And you needed both Soobin hyung and Yeonjun hyung to help you?” One of Taehyun’s eyebrows is raised. He doesn’t look at all impressed.

“Well, no, I only called for Soobin hyung,” Beomgyu says truthfully. “And then he freaked out and called Yeonjun hyung.”

“Why would Soobin hyung freak out? It’s your mark, not his,” Taehyun points out.

Beomgyu swallows harshly. Well, actually! He wants to say. Things are a little more complicated than that! He bites his lip, wondering how to phrase this without lying too much. There are no secrets in the group. That’s a base rule.

“I’m not sure, actually. I think I was just being overly dramatic and he thought Yeonjun hyung could calm me down better.”

“And did he?”

“Did he what? Calm me down?”

Taehyun nods.

“Yes. Yeah, hyung was a lot of help. I feel a lot better now.” Beomgyu pauses, fiddling with the cap of the barley tea. “I’m still gonna go talk with him. Just to smooth everything out.”

“And this is all about your mark?”

Beomgyu nods again. “Yep.” Technically not a lie. It is indeed about his mark and also the fact that they now have multiple matching marks in the groups, but still, yes, their conversation will include Beomgyu’s mark.

Taehyun miraculously takes this as a sufficient answer and after evil eyeing Beomgyu for a few more seconds, spins on his heels and exits the kitchen without another word. Beomgyu feels horrible about not being able to tell him the truth, but he doesn’t want to be the sole person to break the news to the maknaes.

With incredible balancing skills, Beomgyu manages to bring all the food to Yeonjun’s room in one trip. He knocks quietly on the bedroom door until he hears a “Beomgyu-ah?” and then he slides it open slowly. Beomgyu waddles over to Yeonjun’s desk, putting everything down in a rush.

“If you spill anything on any of my stuff I’m going to kill you,” Yeonjun says immediately. Beomgyu’s glad even after figuring out that they’re soulmates Yeonjun’s still threatening his life over a menial action.

Beomgyu sits down at Yeonjun’s desk with a pout, tucking one of his legs under him before spinning around and facing the bed. Yeonjun’s lying on his back, head propped up with a few pillows. One of his arms is bent, cushioning the back of his head, only a few strands of hair poking out from his hood. He’s wearing a giant grey hoodie, billowing over his chest, with matching sweatpants. Soobin’s lying on his stomach, half on top of Yeonjun, half on the bed. Yeonjun’s other arm is wrapped around the back of Soobin’s head, playing with his hair on the back of his neck. Beomgyu also notices one of Soobin’s forearms is shoved entirely under Yeonjun’s hoodie, resting on the side of his stomach.

A weird mix of jealousy and yearning hits Beomgyu. The two of them look so domestic, so couple-y together. He feels incredibly stupid he hadn’t noticed it earlier.

“Have you guys been like this since early December?" Beomgyu asks. He turns towards his food and picks up his chopsticks.

“Like what?” Soobin asks.

Beomgyu swivels around and gives him a look. Soobin looks confused, but Yeonjun speaks first.

“No, actually. Soobinnie didn’t tell me until the end of December.” He reaches up and pinches at Soobin’s ear, so hard he flinches. A look passes between the two of them.

“So it’s been about three months?”

“Yes,” Yeonjun confirms. “And now you’re here. So it feels like we’re restarting everything.”

“Wow,” Beomgyu says, slurping up some noodles. “Okay, but tell me everything. Tell me what it’s been like.”

Beomgyu eats while Yeonjun talks. Soobin butts in occasionally, but he’s mostly content with lying his head on Yeonjun’s chest and getting his hair played with. Beomgyu can also tell that Yeonjun’s more involved with the whole soulmate thing. He seems to be trying to make this work compared to Soobin who still seems nervous about a lot of it. Even after three months, Soobin’s still touchy about a few things. Beomgyu knows Yeonjun’s the most physically affectionate out of the members, but he hates any sort of verbal admissions, so to hear him talk about Soobin in this light is interesting.

And then they get on the topic of telling Taehyun and Kai and that’s when things start to go sideways. Soobin has doubts all five of them will end up with matching marks. Yeonjun does not. He’s fully and entirely convinced it’s all five of them. But, he agrees with Soobin that they shouldn’t say anything just yet.

“It’s been hard,” Yeonjun explains, “Trying not to let an invisible wall get built up against them. But I think we should let them have their moment. Let them figure it out themselves.”

“I agree,” Beomgyu pipes up.

“But we’ll be ready to give them support. Make sure they understand everything’s going to be okay.” He pokes at Soobin’s head. “Right, Soobin-ah?”

“Right. If it ends up happening.”

“Do you really think it’s just the three of us, hyung?” Beomgyu doesn’t believe he has any more chemistry with Yeonjun and Soobin compared to Taehyun and Kai. He hasn’t noticed any troublesome differences between the dynamic he has with the older members versus the younger ones. He’s not entirely sure why Soobin’s being so stubborn about the five of them.

Soobin lets out a deep sigh. “I don’t know. I still don’t fully understand why I’m matching with hyung. And now I really don’t understand why I’m matching with you. And it’s just–” He glances at Yeonjun. “It’s weird if there’s five of us. That’s a lot of people. I’ve never heard of someone having that many soulmates.”

“You’ve been watching too many dramas,” Yeonjun says with an eye-roll. He throws Beomgyu a look, but Beomgyu’s stuck on Soobin’s words.

“You don’t understand why we could be soulmates?” Beomgyu asks, shocked. He puts down his chopsticks, folding his hands together.

Soobin sits up suddenly, realizing he’s said the wrong thing. Beomgyu thinks he’s going to get up and give him a hug, but he just stares at Beomgyu, a lost look on his face.

“Well–” Soobin stops and sighs. He looks towards Yeonjun, who holds both of his hands up, as if to say he’s not dealing with this. “Yeah. Sorry. I’m still figuring it out.”

Beomgyu stuffs his last bite of rice in his mouth and stays silent. In one regard, he gets it. He understands, because of who Soobin is, why he would feel this way. But he can’t help but still feel miffed at the idea of Soobin not wanting him like that.

“C’mere,” Yeonjun beckons, breaking the silence. Beomgyu stands up, checks the time on his phone.

“I’m gonna go brush my teeth first.”

Beomgyu takes his time in the bathroom. He knows Yeonjun and Soobin are going to talk about him, but he thinks they need that. He, too, needs a second to process everything.

Beomgyu goes over the facts in his head. He has two soulmates. Maybe more. Yeonjun thinks so, Soobin doesn’t think so. Beomgyu doesn’t know where he stands on the matter, but he’s beginning to side with Yeonjun. How, if not the five of them, could they fit together?

He splashes water on his face after brushing his teeth and then pulls down his pants to look at his mark again. He traces the outline with his finger, going over the five points and the small circle beside it. He has been waiting for this for so long and now that it’s here and that he’s immediately found his soulmates, it all feels a bit too rushed. A part of Beomgyu wanted the intrigue, the longing, the waiting. But maybe that’s what awaits him now.

Beomgyu shuffles back into the room, seeing that Yeonjun and Soobin are both sitting cross legged on the bed, still facing each other. Yeonjun pulls Beomgyu closer, nudging him to sit in Soobin’s lap.

“Hyung, can I–” he looks unassuredly at Soobin, but Soobin pulls him down hard and Beomgyu goes tumbling into his lap.

“Tell me if I’m too heavy,” Beomgyu mumbles.

“You’re fine,” Soobin grumbles, wrapping both of his arms around Beomgyu’s middle. Beomgyu leans back into him, watching as Yeonjun watches the two of them.

“Soobinnie has something he’d like to say to you,” Yeonjun starts off with.

Beomgyu feels Soobin tense up for a second. Then he feels Soobin’s lips press against his shirt, on his shoulder.

“I’m sorry,” Soobin mumbles. Beomgyu tilts to the side to press his head against Soobin’s.

“It’s okay,” he whispers back. “I get it.”

“Well, actually, you probably had the most normal reaction out of the three of us,” Yeonjun points out.

“What? Really?” Beomgyu exclaims. He twists his head to really get a look at Soobin. “You call bursting into tears a normal reaction?”

“Soobinnie hid it from me for three weeks and then refused to acknowledge anything would change between the two of us,” Yeonjun says, deadpan. He reaches out and pats Beomgyu’s cheek. “So, yes, in comparison, you’ve been an angel.”

A giggle bubbles out of Beomgyu, blushing as Yeonjun continues to stare at him. He feels Soobin sit up straighter behind him, his grip on Beomgyu tightening. Beomgyu wonders how hard it was between the two of them over the last few months. Soobin seems very closed off on the idea to act upon the fact they’re soulmates while Yeonjun seems suspiciously calm about it. Beomgyu wonders if maybe his over excitement will bring a missing piece to their dynamic.

“It was a lot to process,” Soobin says, voice a little gravely. “I would’ve never ever guessed I’d be soulmates with hyung.”

“That makes sense,” Beomgyu reassures him. He puts a hand over Soobin’s.

“Did you know you liked boys before this?” Soobin asks quietly.

Beomgyu’s eyes go wide for a second. Yeonjun’s watching him very carefully now. “Yeah,” Beomgyu whispers.

“Really?” Soobin’s answer is immediate.

“Yeah,” Beomgyu repeats. “I just didn’t know it’d be you guys,” he jokes, cracking a smile. Yeonjun grins and Beomgyu turns to look at Soobin. He looks upset.

“Did you know?”

Soobin’s silence is enough of an answer and then he finally shakes his head, bowing down until his lips are back on Beomgyu’s shoulder.

“What about you, hyung?” Beomgyu asks, turning to look at Yeonjun.

Yeonjun shrugs and then extends his arms out to stretch. “Kinda.”

“Kinda?” Beomgyu parrots.

“I think I knew, I just didn’t want to admit it to myself.”

Soobin stills behind him.

Now Beomgyu understands more of where Soobin’s coming from. Having this aspect of yourself revealed through a soulmate mark must’ve been double the shock. Beomgyu doesn’t know how to properly express himself, so he just turns around and throws Soobin into a big hug, burying his face in his neck.

“Aw,” Yeonjun says softly, “You two are cute.”

Beomgyu cracks an eye open and holds out a hand. “Hyung, come be cute with us.”

“No, he’ll crush me,” Soobin grumbles, a split second before Yeonjun launches himself onto them. Beomgyu bursts out laughing as the three of them tumble backwards, rolling together into a haphazard pile.

Soobin ends up on his back, with the two of them bracketing his sides. Beomgyu lifts his head up, catching Yeonjun’s eye. A searing jolt of want suddenly hits him and he leans forward even more, unable to look away from him.

“Hyung,” he whispers, “Can I kiss you?”

Yeonjun huffs out a laugh, eyes scrunching into semi-circles.

“Is this why you went to brush your teeth?”

“No,” Beomgyu says way too quickly and both Yeonjun and Soobin laugh.

“You’re so cute,” Yeonjun mumbles, reaching over to thumb at Beomgyu’s cheek. Under them, Soobin’s chest moves up and down steadily.

“Hyung already said that,” Beomgyu pouts.

“Yeah, I’m just stalling,” Yeonjun admits. He’s blushing a little and it makes Beomgyu want him more.

“Why?”

“Aren’t you scared?”

“No,” Beomgyu answers immediately. “Not at all.”

Yeonjun turns to look at Soobin, quirks an eyebrow up, and then turns back to Beomgyu. Beomgyu wants to ask him what that means, but he doesn’t have the time to, because Yeonjun pulls him closer by the back of his neck and presses their lips together.

Beomgyu leans into the kiss eagerly, parting his lips. He lets out a soft gasp, awed at how soft Yeonjun’s lips are, yet how well he leads Beomgyu’s into another and then another and then another.

Beomgyu pulls back, face hot and eyes now wide. He wasn’t expecting it to feel like this. Feel so good. Yeonjun’s staring at him, looking a little unsure, before his eyes dart over to Soobin.

“What about you hyung?” Beomgyu asks, also turning to look at Soobin coyly. “Do you wanna kiss me?”

Soobin audibly gulps, ears red. Behind him, Beomgyu hears Yeonjun snort.

“Bin-ah, can you let go of me please? You’re going to leave a mark.”

Soobin lets out a breathless oh and eases up, letting both of his hands flop to the side. Yeonjun giggles and leans in to press a quick kiss to Soobin’s jaw.

“And, yes, Beomgyu-ah, you should kiss him. He looks like he needs it.” Yeonjun then folds his legs and pulls them under himself, sitting up straight. “I’m gonna go wash up.”

The mattress dips then softens as Yeonjun climbs off. Beomgyu doesn’t even hear the door close because he leans in immediately, kissing Soobin quickly, with enough fervor to spur him on as well. Soobin’s not as soft as Yeonjun, but he’s more needy, chasing Beomgyu’s lips, wiggling under him.

It makes Beomgyu’s heart soar.

Soobin clutches at Beomgyu’s waist, kissing the edge of Beomgyu’s mouth a few times before letting his head fall back down against the bed. Beomgyu looks at him, amused.

“I don’t want to mess up anything between us,” Soobin whispers.

“Impossible, hyung, you’re my soulmate.”

A heady noise comes out of the back of Soobin’s throat.

“Wah, hyung, did that make your heart flutter?”

“Shut up.”

Beomgyu kisses him again.

Soobin pulls him down, biting at Beomgyu’s bottom lip. Beomgyu lets out a groan, fingers scrabbling to find a hold on Soobin.

When Yeonjun returns, he informs them he’s kicking them out because there’s not enough room for the three of them to all fit in his bed. Although this is true, Beomgyu puts up a fuss, suggesting they lie one on top of the other.

“We’re never returning to the bunk bed life,” Soobin says with a shudder. He sits up and grabs Beomgyu’s wrist. “C’mon, let’s go.”

Back in their own room, Beomgyu waits until Soobin’s asleep, and then he extends his arms up towards the ceiling, staring at his hands in the dark. He thinks about the fact that today he woke up with zero soulmates and now he has two. He thinks about the fact he forgot to call his parents because of everything that’s happened. He thinks about the fact that Taehyun’s birthday is in a year. And that they have to wait until then to say anything, to really confirm if what they think is happening is happening.

He thinks until he gets to the point where he’s too tired to hold his hands up and he lets them crumple against the bed. And then at some point he gets too tired to think, and that’s when he falls asleep.

Chapter Text

January 2022 -

“Kai-yah,” breathes Taehyun, squeezing his eyes shut tighter as Kai noses at his neck, pressing a particularly hard kiss there. Taehyun tries to press their chests together more, but Kai stops him, the same heavy grip on his hips halting him from moving too much. “Do you think we should stop this?”

That gets Kai to still, momentarily loosening his grip, until a beat passes and Taehyun doesn’t add anything more, and Kai resumes his nibbling.

Taehyun feels like his body’s on fire. In a good way. In the best way. He loves that Kai knows exactly how to handle him.

“I’m serious,” Taehyun tries again, but Kai bites down on his collarbone and Taehyun lets out a rather loud whine, rendering his comment useless.

Taehyun reaches down to hook his thumb under Kai’s jaw, gently tilting his head up and then smashes their lips together. A delightful noise comes out of Kai. Taehyun wants him like this all the time.

“I’m serious. We should stop,” Taehyun says against his lips. This time, both of them still. Taehyun feels Kai lean away from him and that’s when he opens his eyes, taking in the frown growing across his face. Kai takes one sharp look at him and then pushes Taehyun’s hips back, off his lap, making him fall back onto the bed.

“Taehyun-ah.” Kai’s voice sounds hollow. He crosses his arms and swings his legs down over the edge of the bed.

So maybe Taehyun should’ve brought this up at a better time. But he can’t help it. There’s only a couple of weeks left before his 21st birthday and he can’t stop thinking about it.

“I’m sorry,” Taehyun says quickly. “But what if we don’t get matching marks, what then?”

Kai inhales sharply, glancing sideways at Taehyun for a second.

“What if it’s the four of you and not me?” Taehyun says plainly.

His words hang limp in the air for a few moments before Kai’s shoulders sag and he brings his hand up to pinch the top of his nose. He turns and regards Taehyun with such a fierce facial expression for a second Taehyun thinks he’s about to be yelled at.

Kai crosses his legs over onto the bed and resumes his position from earlier.

“Come here,” he says, motioning Taehyun over.

He catches Taehyun's wrist when he crawls over and gets within reaching distance before he puts both of his hands on the sides of Taehyun’s face, cupping his cheeks.

“Why, why would that be the case?” Kai’s jaw is set. “Seriously. Why are you even thinking about that?”

Taehyun wishes he could look away, too embarrassed to discuss the idea, but Kai’s hands hold him there.

“I’m just thinking of all the possibilities…” Taehyun ends up mumbling.

“I don’t understand you sometimes,” Kai shoots back. “I don’t understand how you think.” He drops his hands from Taehyun’s face and takes one of Taehyun’s hands in his. He presses his thumb into the palm of Taehyun’s hand, massaging the skin gently.

“I’m sorry,” Taehyun says again, because that’s all he can think to say. “I just think we should think about the future.”

Kai scoffs. “But don’t you believe?”

“Believe what?”

“That you’ll get the mark too?”

“Well, yes, but just to be sure, we–”

Kai cuts him off with a frustrated sigh. “If you’re so sure, then why can’t we do this? And also–” but he stops himself short, eyes flicking to the side.

“Also what?”

“What if I don’t care about the marks for now? What if, until we do get them, I’m fine doing this with you? Being like this with you?”

Taehyun inhales sharply, then lets out a slow breath, letting Kai’s words settle. It’s true, and he agrees, but it’s still risky. They should wait. Just to be sure.

“It’s only for a couple of weeks, and I’m leaving soon,” Taehyun tries. “Once I get mine, then we’ll be sure.”

“And you’re so sure I’ll have one as well?” Kai questions.

Taehyun scoffs. “Obviously.”

“What does that mean?”

“Look at how you are with them, with Soobin hyung especially. You’re made to be with them.”

“So are you,” Kai shoots back and Taehyun frowns. Maybe he has a point, but with Kai, he thinks it’s different. Yeonjun adores him, and Soobin sticks to him, and Beomgyu loves indulging him. At first Taehyun thought it was because Kai was the youngest, but now he’s not so sure. Now he thinks it’s because Kai’s Kai and he’s just Taehyun.

“Can we try? Just for a bit?” Taehyun adjusts their hands, interlocking each of their fingers now. “Please?”

Kai’s silent for a second, and then he nods. “Yes, of course we can try.”

“Thank you,” Taehyun breathes out. He feels much better, the air rushing out of his lungs all at once.

Taehyun leans forward, tucking his face under Kai’s jaw. This is where they would kiss, normally, but Kai just pulls back and detaches their hands. Taehyun has to pretend it doesn’t hurt.

It’s unfair, Taehyun decides a few days later, that he’s done this to himself. It’s unfair the other three get to live with the worst kept secret while Taehyun and Kai wait in agony to find out if they belong as well.

In retrospect, none of the eldest members let anything too obvious slip, but there were signs. Little signs Taehyun and Kai caught onto from the start. And then in early 2021, Taehyun saw Soobin’s mark. It was during a dance practice, Soobin was wearing a flimsy shirt, and the two of them had been fooling around together during a break. It just happened, Taehyun’s eyes had zeroed in on it and it had all clicked together.

After that, he really started noticing things. At first Taehyun thought it was just Yeonjun and Soobin. It was believable because it was true, he had seen both of their marks. And then Kai had mentioned Beomgyu, and it became abundantly clear just by watching them, what was going on. The way they touched him, spoke about him, carried themselves around him.

Taehyun had once walked into the kitchen to find Beomgyu and Yeonjun hunched over the counter, something open on Beomgyu’s phone, their faces were centimeters apart. They’d leapt apart when Taehyun had made his presence known, tucking a smile in between his lips.

He loves them all dearly, but the three of them have never been able to act nonchalant about anything ever.

And then there was the waiting. Kai was convinced the three of them were going to say something, but as the months passed, nothing happened. Soobin always had this guilty look on his face whenever Taehyun brought up the topic of soulmate marks, but still, they stayed silent.

Kai then switched from thinking they were going to come clean, to siding with them, explaining calmly they were probably just waiting until Taehyun’s birthday to say something.

“What if they think it’s just the three of them?” Taehyun had pointed out, annoyance growing within him.

“I don’t think they think that.”

“Really? Because the way they’ve been acting is weird. It’s like they’re shutting us out on purpose.”

“I don’t really feel that way.”

“They’ve hung out just the three of them at least once a week for the past month.”

“I think they’re just trying to figure their relationship out. I bet it was weird, at the beginning,” Kai pointed out. “They had to deal with it immediately, but we’ve had lots of time to mull it over in our heads. We don’t have to act on it, so, just cut them some slack.”

“Whatever,” Taehyun had grumbled.

They’d stopped discussing it after that. And they’d only started hooking up a few weeks earlier. If that’s what Taehyun wanted to call it. Stress relief, an outlet, a confession, whatever it was Taehyun knew he wanted Kai by his side all the time.

But now they’re stuck. Waiting, hoping, longing. Taehyun doesn’t feel jealous when he sees Yeonjun, Soobin, and Beomgyu together, he just feels left out. He can’t understand why the three of them don’t feel like something’s missing.

A week after talking with Kai, Taehyun really begins to regret the promise he made with him. He wants to hold him, he wants to touch him, he wants to be with him like they were before. They’re still roommates, of course, but Kai’s behaving incredibly well. He’s giving Taehyun all the space in the world, not treating him with the same closeness the two of them are used to.

It seems to be Yeonjun he’s latched onto now, freely letting him coddle him to the nth degree. Taehyun feels a little jealous about that.

“Are you excited for your birthday, Taehyun-ah?” Beomgyu asks, flopping down beside him. They’re in a waiting room at HYBE, about to take pictures for some sponsored social media content.

Taehyun’s going to Busan in one week to spend his birthday with his family. Which means he won’t be with the members when he gets his mark. Everyone seems relatively calm about it. Kai already knows he’ll be the first person Taehyun will text.

Taehyun hums, bending his neck to the side to land on Beomgyu’s shoulder.

“Who’re you going with again?”

“My parents, noona, some of my cousins,” Taehyun explains. He’s excited to not be in Seoul for a bit. He’s excited to see his parents, go to the beach, eat yummy food. Have a break for once.

“That should be fun,” Beomgyu comments ideally, pulling out his phone. He starts playing a game immediately and Taehyun snorts.

“Yeah, I’ll be sure to send pictures.”

The door to the room opens and Kai and Yeonjun enter mid-conversation. They sit on the couch opposite Beomgyu and Taehyun and Taehyun’s eye instantly finds Kai’s. Taehyun stares at him the whole time they wait. He doesn’t hear anything anyone’s saying, just watches as Yeonjun ruffles Kai’s hair and watches Kai’s mouth as he laughs and tries to ignore the fact that Kai breaks eye contact and then doesn’t look back at him again.

Beomgyu nudges him finally, knocking him out of his trance and Taehyun stands too quickly, blinking away the sinking feeling in his stomach. He doesn’t look back to see if Kai’s watching him on their way out.

Taehyun's irritation grows that evening. His dad won’t stop texting him obvious things about their vacation and some clothes he ordered for his trip arrive in the wrong size and colour, so it all tumbles into a horrible mood that clouds Taehyun’s judgement.

He and Yeonjun eat dinner together silently, Taehyun picking at his food. Beomgyu’s out and Kai and Soobin are still at the company, so the dorm is more still than usual.

“Do you want to watch something?” Yeonjun asks as he takes his last bite, pushing his takeout container away from him.

They technically could, they don’t have any schedules tomorrow, but all Taehyun wants to do is be grumpy in solitude.

He brushes Yeonjun off, mumbling some excuse about being tired and slinks to his room. He ignores the notifications piling up from his parents and resounds himself to lying on his bed, thoughts racing.

A knock comes on his door an hour later and Yeonjun says, “I’m starting a movie in my room, you’re welcome to join.” Taehyun listens to his footsteps disappear down the hallway and closes his eyes. He should go. He should get up and go to Yeonjun’s room. They haven’t hung out just the two of them in so long. Yeonjun’s even offering, he’s being so nice.

But Taehyun doesn’t budge. He doesn’t even go on his phone, he just lies there, overthinking about the next two weeks.

What’s the point of the five of them being soulmates? That’s the question that’s clogging Taehyun’s brain. And how’s that even possible when what he has with Kai seems to be so much stronger? Taehyun lets out a groan, not wanting to think about Kai right now. He would quite rather think about anyone else.

Eventually, Taehyun does actually grow tired. He gets ready for bed slowly, brain wandering over to when Soobin and Kai will be back. He’s not thinking about Kai, he’s just thinking about when he’s arriving home. There’s a difference.

He’s lying in the dark when he hears the beeping of the door code. Taehyun closes his eyes and rolls to the side, feigning sleep. Kai enters their room for a second and then exits, coming back a while later. Taehyun’s almost genuinely asleep at that point, but the opening of the door shoots him awake. He lies as still as possible, listening as Kai shuffles around the room. He has his lamp on, but clicks it off once he gets into bed.

There’s about three seconds of silence before, “Taehyun-ah?”

Even in the dark, Taehyun dares not move. He should pretend he’s asleep, he should pretend he can’t hear Kai, he should just roll over and ignore him.

“You’re really terrible at acting like you’re asleep.”

Taehyun sighs, admitting defeat. “What?”

“Why are you acting like you’re asleep?”

Taehyun doesn’t say anything.

“I don’t know,” he says finally. He so badly wants to sit up and look over at Kai. Wants to ask him if he can squeeze into his bed with him, if they can stay up late talking, if things can go back to being normal.

“Okay,” Kai says calmly. “Are you mad at me?” he eventually asks.

Taehyun’s stomach flip flops. He’s quite the opposite, actually.

“No. Why would you think that?” Taehyun shoots back, harsher than he intended.

“The way you were looking at me today made it seem like I’d done something wrong.”

Taehyun shakes his head, even though he knows Kai can’t see him.

“No, no, it’s not that. I—” Taehyun hesitates, then, “I miss you.”

Kai stays silent. He’s silent for so long that Taehyun thinks he’s fallen asleep. Then he hears Kai moving around on his bed, the sound of sheets rubbing against skin. Taehyun looks over and sees Kai's frame in the dark, now sitting up.

“Can you come here?” Taehyun asks in the smallest voice ever.

It only takes a second for Kai to move.

Taehyun melts into his side, instantly taking a hold on Kai’s waist and then ducking his nose into Kai’s t-shirt.

“Isn’t this enough proof?” Kai whispers. “That we’re meant to be together?” Then he laughs lightly. “You can’t get enough of me.”

“Shut up,” Taehyun says, but he’s smiling too.

They lie in comfortable silence. Taehyun’s pleased he’s gotten what he’s wanted, wanting to freeze his moment and live in it forever. He closes his eyes, okay with not talking for a bit.

“I’m sad we won’t be together on your birthday,” Kai says, breaking the silence. He sounds nervous and Taehyun cringes, squeezes his eyes shut tighter.

“Me too. But I’ll be back so soon. You won’t even notice I’m gone.”

“Right,” Kai huffs out another laugh. His grip tightens around Taehyun’s back.

The two of them don’t mean to fall asleep like that, but Taehyun wakes up in the morning on his back, with Kai on top of him. He can’t help but giggle, surprised that Kai’s face is so close to his when he opens his eyes. Taehyun tries to wiggle away, but Kai’s also got an arm around his stomach. He can’t even reach his phone.

“Kai-yah,” Taehyun whispers. “Kai-yah, wake up.”

Kai doesn’t budge. It takes Taehyun doing some sort of modified wrestling move on him to get Kai off of his chest and to give Taehyun enough room to free his legs. Kai stirs as Taehyun sits up, blinking blearily up at him.

“Oh,” says Kai, realizing where he is. “Sorry.” He runs a hand through his hair, mussing it up even more.

Taehyun shrugs. It was partially his fault too, and it’s not like he has any issue with Kai sleeping with him.

“Good morning to you too,” Taehyun says, smiling. Kai rolls his eyes again and then closes them, snuggling back into the sheets.

Taehyun grabs some clothes, his phone, and a towel and opens the door. Taehyun startles at Soobin, towel also in hand, walking past their room right at that moment. Both of them stop in their tracks. Taehyun watches Soobin’s eyes flick past Taehyun.

“Hyung,” Taehyun says in greeting.

“Why is Hueningie in your bed?” Soobin asks. His face is completely blank, devoid of any judgment, but he still stares Taehyun down.

Taehyun looks back like he hadn’t noticed and then closes the door rather quickly.

“We stayed up watching a movie,” he blurts, avoiding eye contact.

“Without Yeonjun hyung?” Soobin asks, sounding hurt. It’s only a second later that Taehyun realizes his mistake.

“How did you know hyung asked me that?” Taehyun shoots back instead. Did Yeonjun actually mention Taehyun not wanting to watch a movie with him? That seems like a pretty petty thing to nag their leader about.

Now it’s Soobin who’s avoiding eye contact. He’s fixated on the floor, not moving.

“No, it’s just—me and hyung ended up watching something else and he mentioned it in passing.” Soobin doesn’t sound entirely confident as he explains himself. Taehyun’s eyes narrow.

“Right,” he says slowly. “Are you showering first?”

Soobin shakes his head, “No, you go.”

Taehyun spends the entirety of his shower wondering how they’re going to go about this when he gets his mark. If he does get a matching one, it’s going to be so weird bringing it up. He hates that they’re all lying to each other. At some point, this has to come to a head, right?

February 2022 -

Busan is beautiful.

It’s still chilly out, so they have to layer up every time they go out, but Taehyun doesn’t care. He gets to sleep in and go to new restaurants and spend time with his parents. His cousin’s dog is the cutest and his nephews ask him too many questions about Pokémon and BTS.

He tries to stay off his phone as much as possible, forcing himself to live in the moment, collect pictures he can share later. It’s really, really nice.

The day before his birthday, his sister asks him how he’s feeling. For a split second, Taehyun thinks about telling her.

“What?” she asks immediately, leaning closer towards Taehyun. “What’s that look on your face?”

“What look?” Taehyun says, scowling. He hates how older sisters always seem to know when something’s going on.

“You look weird.” She leans back and crosses her arms. “What’s going on? Talk to noona.”

Taehyun wrinkles his nose. He doesn’t know how his sister would react if he told her he’s 99% sure that his four bandmates are going to end up with matching soulmate marks and he can’t stop thinking about it. It would be a pretty heavy thing to drop an hour before they’re supposed to meet their parents for dinner.

“I think I already know who my soulmate is,” Taehyun says.

His sister’s eyes bug out for a second and then she resounds herself, nodding thoughtfully.

“It would be you, Kang Taehyun, that manages to figure that out,” she muses, taking another sip of her tea. “And what? Are you disappointed?”

“No,” Taehyun says immediately. “It’s just scary thinking I’m going to be with them for the rest of my life.”

“Well, technically, you don’t have to stay with them. Forever or at all, actually,” his sister points out. She’d found her soulmate a year after she’d gotten her mark. She’d posted about it on her university forum and a guy in one of her classes recognized her mark on one of his friends and connected them mutually. It was a sickeningly easy meeting and they’ve been nothing but happy together. Taehyun wishes maybe he could’ve had something like that.

“Okay, true, but I do like them.”

“You don’t have to decide everything all at once, Taehyun-ah. You can go at your pace,” she says softly. Taehyun nods and gnaws at his thumb nail. There’s only a few more hours and then he’ll know for sure.

Busan is a little less beautiful when Taehyun wakes up during the night in a sweat. He feels a burning, on his right ankle, and rips his blankets off. He has his own room in the place they’re renting, so he hops up to turn the lights on immediately.

There, on the inside of his right ankle, is his soulmate mark. It almost touches the bottom of his foot, tilted a bit to the side, but it’s there, and it looks exactly like Yeonjun’s. Taehyun inhales sharply.

I got it.
It’s the same.

It’s 1:00AM, yet Kai calls him immediately.

Neither of them say anything when Taehyun picks up, just breathing in tandem into their phones. Taehyun can feel his whole body shaking. He doesn’t know if he’s panicking or if he’s excited. It’s selfish, but he wishes he was back at the dorms right now instead of here. He wishes he would celebrate this with everyone.

“Taehyun-ah,” Kai finally whispers. “Congrats.”

“Thank you,” Taehyun chokes back. “It’s on my ankle.”

There’s a long pause. Taehyun wonders how Soobin’s going to react to this.

“Oh. That’s pretty visible, isn’t it?”

“Yeah,” Taehyun says quietly. “It is.”

Not that he’s showing his bare feet on camera all the time, but they play enough pool games on TO DO and beach themed photoshoots for it to be a pain in the ass. He’ll have to wear socks for the rest of his life now.

“What does it look like?” Kai asks.

“You know,” Taehyun says, smiling.

“Well, just–describe it to me.”

Taehyun sighs, biting his lip to hide his smile. Which is ridiculous, they’re talking on the phone, but he has a feeling Kai can just tell with him.

“It’s a blob,” Taehyun starts off with.

“Very poetic,” Kai interrupts.

“Shut up. It’s a blob, that has five points. They’re all rounded on the edges, and they’re all different lengths. The point on the top left is the longest. It sort of looks like someone let a blot of ink drop onto a piece of paper.”

Kai hums appreciatively.

“And then beside this shape, to the right of it, near the bottom point, is a circle. It’s really small. Smaller than a pea,” Taehyun says seriously, and then he laughs.

“Is it a perfect circle?”

“Yes, it’s a perfect circle.”

“Well,” Kai lets out a long sigh, “It sounds very pretty.”

“Just wait, in six months you’ll have one of your own.”

Kai goes silent at that and Taehyun feels like all the oxygen’s been sucked out of the room.

“You really believe that?” Kai breathes.

“Yes. Obviously. It’s five or nothing.”

“Five or nothing,” Kai repeats. “Right.”

“How come you’re awake right now?”

“I was waiting. For you.”

“Kai-yah.”

“What?”

“Thank you.”

“I wish you were here,” Kai says, words all rushed.

“Why?” Say it, say it, I need you to say it. Taehyun feels dizzy all of a sudden.

“I want to–”

“To what?” Taehyun urges him on. His heart rate is speeding up.

“Iwanttokissyou, and to congratulate you,” Kai says all mumbly.

Taehyun lets out a groan and falls back down into bed. He pulls one of the sheets up, clenching the fabric in his fist.

“Two more days,” Taehyun whispers.

“I can’t wait,” Kai jokes lamely.

“I’ll send you some pictures.”

“Please do.”

“Okay, goodnight, Huening-ah.”

“Goodnight, Taehyun-ah.”

Taehyun wakes up to a slew of messages in their groupchat. Soobin also privately messages him asking about his mark and Taehyun woefully explains it’s on his foot. Soobin doesn’t respond immediately, so Taehyun buries his phone in his bag and emerges from his room.

The day is spent peacefully. His mom cooks for him, and they go for a walk, and Taehyun plays with the dog. His parents ask to see his mark and he shows them. He spends the whole day feeling warm and happy, dutifully ignoring the rising anxiety in the back of his mind.

It’s a shame, when he boards the plane back to Seoul and says his goodbyes. He doesn’t want to go back to work, but a vacation can only last so long and he’s grateful to have been afforded these few days.

His parents hug him extra tight, tell him they’re so proud of them, and wish him well for the upcoming comeback. Taehyun naps the whole flight and prepares himself for the onslaught of questions when he arrives back to the dorms.

Taehyun does this birthday live two days after his birthday. It’s his first official schedule back and it’s a nice way to ease back into things. It doesn’t feel like work, but it is still something he has to get ready and go to the company for.

He’d gotten in late last night and went straight to his room, not seeing any of the members. Kai was already asleep and they’d barely spoken in the morning. Taehyun had slept in and Kai left the dorms early afternoon, so they didn’t see much of each other. Same with the other three. The dorm has been eerily quiet and Taehyun doesn’t know why.

After he comes back from the live is when he’s cornered, by Soobin, who’s coming out of the shower. He pops his head into the kitchen as Taehyun’s putting his cake away and audibly brightens when he sees him.

Immediately, Soobin won’t stop asking and telling him a million things. He asks him about his trip, about his birthday, about the live, about the flight. Taehyun stands there, water bottle in hand, taking it all in and responding appropriately. He’d posted photos from his trip on Weverse earlier in the day and Kai had texted him about it privately.

“Taehyun-ah,” Soobin says, as the conversation is winding down. He suddenly looks a lot more serious and Taehyun feels this is where it’s going to go down.

“I’ll just say, if you want to talk about your soulmate mark, or even show us, we’re here. And we can, um, support you,” Soobin explains. The tips of his ears are red. Embarrassingly, Taehyun finds him adorable right now.

“Thanks, hyung. But, I’d like to keep it private for now, like you,” Taehyun adds.

Soobin’s face twists, expression souring for a moment, before he sucks his cheeks in and then eventually nods. Taehyun tucks a smile in between his lips. He strangely doesn’t feel mad about being lied to, since it’s been going on for so long. And he is beginning to understand why they kept it from him and Kai. Now he wants to wait for Kai.

“Okay, got it,” Soobin says, voice clipped. He leaves Taehyun standing in the kitchen alone.

Kai comes back when Taehyun’s video calling with his sister. They’ve literally just spent a week together, but she has drama at work and wanted to update Taehyun about what happened once she was back in the office. He also takes this time to unpack his suitcase.

Kai startles and comes over to Taehyun once he realizes what’s going on.

“Noona, hi!” Kai says excitedly, waving over Taehyun’s shoulder. Taehyun’s wearing headphones, so his sister just laughs and tells him to tell Kai that she misses him and hopes he’s well.

“When’s his birthday?” she asks.

“August,” Taehyun says and watches out of the corner of his eye as Kai stops fussing with all the charges on his nightstand and turns to look at Taehyun.

“So after that, you’ll all be marked?”

“Yep,” Taehyun says, voice audibly nervous. There’s no way his sister knows. No way she could have figured it out.

“Hm, fun,” she says with a giggle. “Okay, I have to go, but remember to text me the beach pictures!”

Taehyun rolls his eyes and hangs up, sliding off his headphones. He turns towards Kai, who’s now sitting on his bed, rolling up some cords.

“Have you eaten?” Kai asks.

“No.”

Taehyun sits beside Kai and lets him pick what to order. He’s fine with whatever and more importantly wants to talk to him.

“Soobin hyung asked about my mark,” Taehyun blurts out once Kai shows him it’ll be 30 minutes until their food is delivered.

Kai freezes. “And what did you tell him?”

“Nothing. That I wouldn’t show him yet.”

“What are you waiting for?” Kai sounds genuinely confused.

“For you, silly.”

Kai turns and kisses him so hard that Taehyun falls backwards onto the mattress. He’s instantly on edge, squirming as Kai grabs his waist with both hands and kisses him into the bed.

“Shit–wait,” Taehyun mumbles, mouth falling open in a gasp as Kai nips at his neck. He hears Kai let out a huff of a laugh and tries to focus on regaining control, but he can’t. His head is spinning and Kai feels so good pressed up against him.

Taehyun grinds his hips up and then lets out a squeak when Kai rucks his t-shirt up, sliding his hands onto Taehyun’s bare skin. Kai is cold and Taehyun winces, grabbing onto Kai’s shoulder for support.

“You’re going to kill me,” Taehyun says breathlessly. His fingers are digging into Kai, wanting to leave an imprint.

Kai cocks his head up, meeting Taehyun’s eyes. He looks incredibly pleased with himself. “Really?” he says and leans in for a quick kiss.

“Yes,” Taehyun splutters, chasing him for another. Kai indulges him and then presses kiss after kiss all over his mouth and cheeks. Taehyun just lets him. He can’t possibly say no to Kai.

“We’ll tell them together, right?” Taehyun says, running a hand up Kai’s face to brush his bangs back.

“Once I get it,” Kai promises, with another kiss.

“Only six months away,” Taehyun says with a laugh.

“You’re okay with that, right?” Kai asks, pulling back fully.

“Yes. I don’t want you to be left out,” Taehyun says plainfully.

“Thank you,” Kai says immediately, grabbing him by the jaw and pulling him for another kiss. “I love y–” The word gets jumbled between them, but Taehyun still hears it. It still makes his whole body jolt. Shit. He thinks. Shit, shit, shit. Because Taehyun realizes he wants to say it back.

August cannot come fast enough.

Chapter Text

August 2022 -

Kai doesn’t have any definitive proof, but he feels like Soobin, Beomgyu, and Yeonjun are all walking on eggshells around him. The week leading up to his birthday has been weird. He feels like everyone’s watching him, bracing themselves as if something big is about to happen.

Which, fine, something big is about to happen, but Kai doesn’t understand why everyone has to be so grouchy about it. Maybe it’s something to do with the fact that Taehyun’s been lying to the three of them for the past six months and they’ve been lying back for what, the past year? All Kai hopes for is that his birthday celebrations don’t turn messy. If they could all just calmly forgive each other, that would be wonderful.

August isn’t too busy for them. The month solidifies into a nice cool down period after their US tour. Kai wishes they could get a proper break, but instead they have a few free days mixed in with low pressure shoots and meetings at the company. His birthday’s on a Saturday this year, and they miraculously have the whole weekend off. Kai wonders if someone in the company scheduled them like that on purpose.

He’ll be getting his mark in the evening, so they’ve had to schedule his live around it. Don’t want to be getting it live on camera! One of the staff members had joked. Kai had laughed along appropriately, but that was a real fear of his, and he was glad they could accommodate him.

The day of his birthday passes slowly. He sleeps in way too late, waking up to a plethora of texts from various family members. He eats lunch alone and then plays video games for a few hours before heading to the company. Everyone is overly sweet to him when he arrives, but he appreciates it nonetheless, watching all the effort the staff are putting into the set up of the live. Kai’s never seen this many penguin plushies in one room together.

Soobin joins him during his live. He and Yeonjun are also at the company, so he drops by for about 10 minutes. Soobin’s in a good mood, trying all of the snacks the staff prepared for Kai and easily joking around with him.

“Yeonjun hyung will probably stop by as well,” Soobin notes, stealing one last bite of cake.

Kai hums in agreement, he knows he’s in a meeting room down the hall. “Yeah, for sure.”

When Yeonjun doesn’t show up, Kai tries not to feel hurt about it, but it’s hard. Beomgyu also hasn’t said anything to him in their groupchat. Kai begins to wonder if he’s done something wrong.

His mark arrives right after the live, as he’s collecting his things to leave. A sharp burning on the back of Kai’s neck startles him out of shoving his hoodie into his backpack. He reaches up to his neck, as if he’s going to feel some sort of bump, and, of course, finds nothing.

The entire ride back to the dorm, Kai’s vibrating with anxiety. He didn’t expect to feel so nervous, but he is. Since Taehyun got his mark, he’s been acting as if it’s a fact Kai will get the matching mark as well. But it would be just his luck to be the odd one out.

Taehyun’s not home when Kai gets into their room, and he resolves himself to wait. He doesn’t want to be alone if it ends up he does have a different mark to everyone else. He curls up on his bed, pulling out his Switch and turning his music up extra loud to distract himself.

It’s only about a half hour before their bedroom door opens and Taehyun rushes in, wide eyed. He drops his bag to the floor as Kai pauses his music and takes off his headphones.

“So?” Taehyun asks, grinning, “Did you get it?”

Kai bites his lip and then nods. He watches Taehyun’s smile fall, walking over to sit on the edge of his bed.

“What’s wrong?”

“I’m scared,” Kai says.

“Wait. You haven’t looked?”

Kai shakes his head and Taehyun’s eyes grow impossibly wide. “What! What are you waiting for?”

“I was waiting for you to come home. Because if I don’t have a matching one, I’m going to–” Kai stops himself short. He actually doesn’t know what he’ll do. Lose his mind. Cry for the first time in months. Quit the group.

“Hey, hey,” Taehyun reaches out and squeezes Kai’s arm. “It’s okay. I’m here now, so, let’s go.”

“It’s on my back,” Kai explains, “So you look at it and tell me.”

“Really?” Taehyun’s voice wavers in a way Kai doesn’t like. “You’re okay with that?”

“Yes.” Kai’s so sure. He also doesn’t want to leave the room, he doesn’t want to go to the bathroom or living room, he wants to stay here. In the safety of his and Taehyun’s environment.

Kai drops his Switch onto the bed and stands up, turning around so his back is to Taehyun.

“Can you see it poking out of my collar?” he asks. It’ll be a pain if yes.

“No,” Taehyun replies quickly.

Kai shivers when Taehyun runs the pads of his fingers over the bit of skin right above his collar. It’s good that it’s covered.

“Are you going to take off your shirt or…?” Taehyun trails off . He waits, doesn’t push when Kai doesn’t immediately move. He finally slides his shirt off, realizing it would just be easier. Kai finds himself holding his breath, for some reason, then squares his shoulders, waiting.

The press of Taehyun’s finger near the top of his spine surprises him, but Kai doesn’t flinch. He feels Taehyun tracing the shape of his mark and he counts in his head as Taehyun rounds each point. One…two…three…four…five.

“So?” Kai asks, when Taehyun’s hand stills.

“Yeah,” Taehyun breathes, breath warm against Kai’s skin. “You have it too.”

Kai’s slumps forward, burying his face in his shirt for a moment. Thank god. Thank fucking god. Moving quickly, he puts his shirt back on and faces Taehyun. He looks happy, with cheeks a little pink.

“You’re not lying to me, are you?” Kai teases.

Taehyun frowns, unamused. “I would never.”

“We should tell the others,” Kai decides. “Right now, maybe?”

Taehyun’s eyes go wide again, but then he considers Kai’s proposal and nods. They’ve never actually talked about when they were going to tell them.

“You don’t think they’re going to be mad? Do you?”

Actually, Kai does think they’re going to be mad. Very mad. But he doesn’t know if he should tell Taehyun that. Something ugly twists in his gut.

“I’m not sure,” Kai says, gnawing on his bottom lip. “But it’s better if we get it over with.”

Taehyun nods, stepping back and going over to pick up his bag. Kai just stands and waits as Taehyun moves around the room, putting his things away.

“No schedule tomorrow, so…” Kai trails off. He’s not sure what he’s implying. If they get into a screaming argument at least they won’t have to appear on camera together tomorrow? Taehyun seems to sort of understand, sending him a sympathetic glance.

“Do you want to do the talking?”

Kai shrugs. He knows Taehyun wants to, but at the same time, he thinks Taehyun will come on too strong, too brazen. Kai wants to explain his side of things, too. He wants to let the three of them down gently, hear them out as well.

“Maybe. At the beginning,” he settles on. “I’ll go out first, round everybody up.”

Taehyun agrees to this. Kai weirdly wants to hug him, all of a sudden, but he doesn’t move. Just watches Taehyun for a few more seconds before grabbing his phone and water bottle and then opening their door quietly.

Soobin’s in the kitchen, getting ice cream, when Kai finds him.

“Hyung,” Kai says and Soobin towards him, a little startled. He has a spoon and a small ice cream container in hand, clearly just about to leave.

“Hi,” Soobin says cheerily, dimples appearing, “Happy Birthday again,” he adds. “Have you eaten?”

Kai nods. “Are you busy right now?”

“No,” Soobin says, but Kai knows he’s probably in the middle of a game.

“I want to show you my mark.”

Soobin’s mouth opens, but no words come out. Kai watches as he adjusts his grip on his spoon, and still doesn’t say anything. His eyebrows are slightly pinched, eyes darting down for a second. It looks like he’s trying really hard to figure something out.

“Okay, that’s great,” Soobin says, but it’s like he’s choking through the words. “Just me, or…?”

Kai laughs. “You’re not that special, hyung. Obviously I want everyone.”

Soobin smiles, but he doesn’t look any less nervous.

“I’ll get the others,” Soobin says, words still stilted, but Kai brightens. He really didn’t want to be the one to gather them all. Soobin’s best at it anyways.

“Okay, Taehyunnie already knows, so, he’ll be out soon.”

Soobin nods in an Obviously type of way and then leaves the kitchen without another word. Kai stands there for thirty seconds without moving before heading to the living room. He wonders at what point his heart is going to stop hammering in his chest.

Taehyun appears only a few moments later, joining Kai on the couch. Kai suddenly realizes he doesn’t know how they’re going to do this, doesn’t know how to just blurt it out. There’s two conversations to be had. We know, the two of us know what you’ve been hiding from us for the last 2 years and secondly, we have them too. We’re matching too. Kai feels like he’s not eloquent enough to just say all that.

The seconds seem to inch by, Kai nervously shaking his leg as he waits. Taehyun brought his phone so he’s idly scrolling on it, keeping a hand on Kai’s ankle, as if to steady him.

Yeonjun appears first, clearly just woken up from some sort of slumber. He has his hood up, bits of hair frizzy that Kai can see. His eyes aren’t open all the way as he slouches into the room and collapses onto the other side of the couch.

“Hi, hyung,” Kai says quietly.

Yeonjun turns and regards him with a look, like he’s seeing him for the first time.

“Huening-ah,” he drawls, voice scratchy, “Hyung’s just waking up, gimme a second.” He rubs furiously as his eyes before sitting up straighter. “Happy Birthday,” he says, aegyo leaking into his voice. Kai smiles.

“Thanks, hyung,” Kai’s voice is quiet and he feels Taehyun squeeze him tighter.

Beomgyu’s entrance is a blur. He rounds the corner into the living at too high of a speed and pitches himself forward to land on the couch in between Kai and Yeonjun. Yeonjun lets out a groan as Beomgyu scrambles up, on his knees now, facing Kai. He has a slightly manic grin on his face, eyes bright.

“Hueningkai-yah! Happy Birthday!” Beomgyu says cheerfully, reaching over to pet Kai’s hair. Almost like he’s a dog. Kai isn’t sure if he should go along with the bit or not.

He settles on a sweet, “Thank you, hyung,” and reaches up to flatten his hair.

Soobin’s trailing behind Beomgyu and arrives a second later, typing something out on his phone. As soon as he steps into the room Kai realizes how real of a situation he’s in. Their lives are about to change forever. Catapulted forward by what Taehyun and Kai are about to say to them.

“We should stand,” Kai says abruptly and Taehyun nods, getting up immediately. Kai’s a little surprised, but jumps up with him, watching as Soobin takes a spot on the chair to the right of the couch.

“Why’s Taehyunnie helping?” Yeonjun asks blearily, smacking his lips together with a yawn.

“Shh!” Beomgyu hisses, “You’re ruining the moment.”

Yeonjun smacks him on the arm, but shuts up. Kai bows slightly to Beomgyu in thanks.

“Listen,” Kai starts off seriously, “If I could ask for one thing, it would be no arguing. We can talk about this, obviously we will, but please can we be nice about it? We all have our own reasons for the way we acted, and I understand that, but please, I don’t want us to fight.”

He watches as Soobin’s eyebrows furrow, sitting up slightly. He can tell they’re all clueing in that something’s not right.

“Taehyunnie’s going to show you his mark too,” Kai nudges at Taehyun’s arm. “And I will too, but we can do it together, because, well, we have them too.”

Taehyun steps over to the ottoman and takes off his sock, angling his ankle towards the three on the couch. Kai feels like his feet are planted to the ground as he watches, anxiety coursing through him. The realization washes over the other three quickly. Soobin reacts first, clapping a hand over his mouth. Yeonjun’s jaw drops and Beomgyu’s eyes go wide, before he interrupts the dead silent living room with a “I knew it!!” and shoots up off the couch.

“Are you serious?” Soobin says, looking only at Kai.

Kai nods, the tiniest movement he can think of. He doesn’t think he’s ever seen Soobin look like this. Like he’s not in the room with them at the moment. Kai’s too scared to look at Yeonjun, too scared to see what’s reflected on his face.

“Mine is on my back, you can see if you want,” Kai mumbles.

Beomgyu leaps over to him, hands immediately reaching for Kai.

“Let hyung see, let hyung see,” Beomgyu’s saying quickly as Kai mentally tells himself to turn his body around. He’s not taking his shirt off, not now, so he freezes for a second.

“You can tug my shirt down, it’s not that far–” But Beomgyu’s already yanking his collar down, grabby fingers scrabbling at his skin. He hears Beomgyu gasp when he sees it.

“I knew it,” he whispers. He lets go of Kai’s shirt and turns to face everyone else.

“See, I told you, I told you,” Beomgyu says, and this time his voice comes out a little wobbly. Kai watches, stunned, as Beomgyu brings up his hands to hide his face.

Soobin leans back onto the chair and turns to look at Yeonjun. Kai’s heart breaks because he’s never seen him look so guilty. It’s written all over his face.

“You can’t be mad, because we just did what you were doing to us,” Taehyun throws out and Kai winces. This isn’t the way to do it. They can’t piss them off. He shouldn’t even be having an us versus them mentality. They’re a team, all five of them.

Yeonjun unfolds himself from the couch and walks over to Kai. He steps around to Kai’s back and reaches for his shirt. Kai shivers when Yeonjun traces the mark on his back. It’s real. Everything is so suddenly real.

Yeonjun circles back around and then buries Kai in a hug. One of his arms wrap around Kai’s head, fingers burying themselves in Kai’s hair. Yeonjun mumbles something that sounds like I’m sorry and Kai’s stomach lurches. He really doesn’t think he’s owed an apology.

Yeonjun drops one arm from Kai and looks over his shoulder. “Taehyun-ah.”

Taehyun puts his sock back on and climbs over to them. Yeonjun yanks him into the hug too, fingers pressing so hard into Kai’s skin it hurts.

Finally, after a long moment of swaying, Yeonjun finds the hug sufficient and releases the two of them. Taehyun’s ears are red and Kai gives him a pointed look. Taehyun just blinks at him, not adding anything.

“Okay,” Yeonjun sits back down and slaps his hands on his thighs, “Let’s talk.”

“I think we should apologize first,” Soobin rushes out, “I feel horrible.”

“We?” Beomgyu says pointedly, raising an eyebrow at Soobin. “You didn’t want to listen when I suggested we say something.”

“Beomgyu-ah,” Yeonjun lets out a tired sigh. Kai watches as Soobin’s expression darkens and he folds in on himself, tucking his legs under him, already nervously picking at his nails. It’s clear they’ve talked about this before.

“What?” Beomgyu says incredulously. “Hyung should apologize, not me.”

“You agreed to it too. We’ve been over this a million times, and Huening-ah–wait, come here, come, you’re stressing hyung out just standing there.”

Kai obeys, stepping over to the couch and crawling into Yeonjun’s outstretched arms. Immediately Yeonjun’s wrapping an arm around Kai’s shoulder, pulling him close. They’re lined up completely, from their shoulders to the tip of their toes. Kai flops his head onto Yeonjun’s shoulder and closes his eyes.

“I’m sorry,” Yeonjun mumbles, and Kai feels him press a kiss to the top of Kai’s head. “Taehyun-ah, look at me.”

Kai cracks an eye open to see Taehyun sitting on the arm of recliner chair Soobin’s in. He makes a show of turning towards Yeonjun, then cocks his head to the side.

“I’m sorry. It’s not like I didn’t think you’d get the mark too. It’s just–we wanted you guys to discover it at your own pace. And it’s not like it wasn’t hard for us, we didn’t know what was going on.”

Kai closes his eyes again.

“I understand, hyung,” Taehyun says and Kai knows he’s not lying. There’s not an ounce of fight in his voice. Kai thinks Taehyun finally understands them.

“I’m sorry, too,” Soobin pipes up with. “It took me a while to adjust to this and I’ll be honest and say this is going to take me a while to get used to. But that doesn’t mean I don’t love you or don’t want the best for this team. We’re going to succeed no matter what.”

“Even if we’re incompatible soulmates?” Taehyun teases and Kai opens his eyes, giggling. He watches as Soobin turns his head sharply, staring at Taehyun incredulously.

“Don’t joke,” he scoffs and Yeonjun reiterates that too, a little louder, and then with a squeeze to Kai’s shoulder.

“Okay, sorry,” Taehyin says quickly. “I’m sure it wasn’t easy for you at the beginning. I would’ve been so scared.”

“Yeah,” Beomgyu huffs out a laugh, “I wish you could’ve been there to calm Soobin hyung down a bit. We were all losing our minds a bit.”

“Kai-yah?” Yeonjun mumbles and jostles him a bit. Kai blinks a few times and sits up, turning to give Yeonjun a slow smile. “Feeling better?”

“Yes. Thank you, I was just, I don’t know, worried for some reason. But now…what? What happens now?”

The five of them exchange looks. Kai doesn’t know if wants things to suddenly switch. He thinks he'd prefer if they ease into this whole group soulmate thing. But at the same time he’s aware Yeonjun, Soobin, and Beomgyu have many more moments racked up with each other compared to him and Taehyun. It’s going to be hard to welcome such a big change so naturally.

“I wanna be the first one to kiss Huening,” Beomgyu announces, crossing his arms. He seems almost mad it hasn't happened already.

Kai splutters out a laugh as Taehyun lets a small “Ah…” slip, eyes downcast. Immediately Beomgyu whips around to stare at him. Taehyun doesn’t even need to say anything else for Beomgyu to figure it out.

“Aish—!” he cries, grabbing his face in anguish, “This is unacceptable! We must put an end to roommate privileges!” He turns towards Soobin and puckers his lips exaggeratedly. “This is why we have to move back in together, hyung.”

Soobin’s face wrinkles.

“Wait.” It’s taking Yeonjun a little longer to connect the dots. “You’ve been—um, together even before you got your marks?”

“How long has this been happening?” Beomgyu demands.

Kai has no idea, and he’s about to give a vague time frame, when Taehyun blurts out, “April 2021.”

“WHAT!” Beomgyu screams. “This is so unfair. Kai-yah, come here, I have to kiss you a million times to catch up with Taehyunnie.”

Kai bursts out laughing and moves to the edge of the couch. He turns around and puts his hand on Yeonjun’s thigh.

“Yes, it started before. And it was nice. We knew the risks. And that we’d stop eventually.”

Soobin looks shocked when Kai turns back and crawls onto the floor to climb onto Beomgyu, who’s waiting for him with open arms.

“I don’t want everyone to watch us kiss,” Kai mumbles into Beomgyu’s neck, hugging him tightly.

“Wah, Hueningkai-yah, are you embarrassed to have me as your soulmate?.”

“Shut up,” Kai pinches him feebly.

Beomgyu slips a hand under Kai’s hoodie, rubbing at his skin. His other hand sneaks in, grasping Kai’s chin and pulling him up. He stares at him for a few moments before giving him a soft peck. Kai feels his ear burn.

“Hyung.”

“One. That’s just one.”

“Hyung.”

Beomgyu laughs and bonks their foreheads together. The reassuring press of his palm into Kai’s skin quickly turns to prodding and tickling and Kai squawks as Beomgyu tussles him into the floor.

“You two are idiots,” Soobin says, not hiding how endeared he sounds. Kai looks up over Beomgyu’s shoulder and gives Soobin a wink.

“Yah, Kang Taehyun, don’t think you’re getting out of this. Get over here,” Beomgyu orders, patting the spot beside him. Taehyun doesn’t move until Soobin nudges him off the chair with a wry smile. Kai watches as Beomgyu’s smile grows wider.

“What?” Taehyun asks, pouting a bit, as he sits down and crosses his arms.

Beomgyu moves in a flash, grabbing the back of Taehyun’s neck and trying to bring the two of them together, but Taehyun jerks his head back at the last second. He’s seasoned in fending off Beomgyu Attacks and ungracefully flops onto his back.

“Yah!” Beomgyu screams and a wrestling match begins with, what Kai presumes, the end goal being kissing Taehyun. Kai gets up quickly after receiving a kick to the shin and goes to fold himself back into Yeonjun’s side when he catches sight of him.

“Wah, hyung, are you crying?”

That gets everyone to stop.

“No,” Yeonjun says immediately, bringing his hands up almost in prayer to cover his nose and mouth. His eyes are glassy, Kai can see the tears, even as he rapidly blinks them away.

“Aw, hyung, it’s okay.”

“Wah, are you actually?” Soobin asks. He even gets up and sits beside Kai, leaning in extra close to look at Yeonjun’s face.

Yeonjun bats him away unsuccessfully. Beomgyu and Taehyun are frozen, both also staring.

“No, I’m not,” Yeonjun repeats, even though he definitely is. “I’m just really…happy,” he settles on. He wipes his cheeks and an unsure smile appears from behind his hands. Kai feels like his heart’s about to burst.

“You’re cute,” Kai mutters, before leaning in and pressing a kiss to Yeonjun’s jaw. “I’m happy too.”

“Me too,” Beomgyu adds, never not wanting to be excluded from a moment.

Soobin rolls his eyes, but nods. “I’m glad we’re all on the same page.”

For the first time in a while, Kai thinks that’s true.

September 2022 -

Kai’s right, things move slowly after his birthday. There isn’t an immediate change to their dynamic. There’s just things, little things, that slowly become part of Kai’s everyday life.

Beomgyu likes to ask for kisses from everyone at the most inopportune moments. Yeonjun’s obsessed with touching everyone’s marks. He wants to run his fingers over them constantly, and now loves holding onto the base of Kai’s neck. Soobin opens up to him more, which Kai’s still learning how to respond to, but he likes it. Him and Taehyun stay relatively the same, although they don’t have to hide as much. Taehyun does walk in on Kai and Soobin making out one day and the look on Taehyun’s face is something Kai files away for later and then teases him about it for days afterwards. In a weird way, it works. They all mush together and end up falling into a relationship that’s easy to maintain.

“Maybe it’s something to do with the fact that we’re all soulmates,” Taehyun says dryly when Kai brings it up to him. While Kai doesn’t appreciate the sarcasm, Taehyun does have a point. It’s easy because they’re made for each other. The marks never lie.

He’s sure they’ll change and grow with each other, but that’s not something he has to worry about for a while. Right now, he thinks they’re perfect the way they are.

Chapter Text

September 2025 -

The US tour is a month long. A month in America. Seven cities. Nine shows. And one Yeonjun birthday. His 26th, marking six years since getting his mark. Which means they’ll be going into their seventh year as soulmates. Yeonjun doesn’t want to compare everything in his life to his job, but an idol contract lasting more than seven years means something special.

Which is why Yeonjun wasn’t at all shocked when Soobin suggested they reveal their marks at the same time as announcing their contract renewal. They’d been so used to hiding them, it hadn’t even crossed Yeonjun’s mind, but the moment Soobin had whispered it to him in bed one night, he had been on board.

It had taken a bit more time than that to convince the company, but finally they’d agreed. It worked, from a marketing standpoint. It would cause a stir, but also confirm they were still going to continue on strongly as a group.

There’d been backlash, of course, but Yeonjun knows when to stop reading people’s comments about him online. He doesn’t care, frankly, what others have to say, when he trusts that the five of them made the right choice.

So for the US tour, some nights he doesn’t cover his mark. It’s freeing, being able to act in a certain way towards the members he’d had to tone down over the years. And it’s extra rewarding when the fans accept it, when they cheer for them, support them, love them back even harder.

His family supports him as well, and it’s really nice that he gets to visit his aunt in San Jose. It’s bittersweet, missing his mom but still getting to be with some family, at least. It’s overwhelming, that his birthday seems to last for multiple days. The day before his birthday he wakes up to a bunch of texts in their groupchat, and from friends, since it’s technically his birthday in Korea. They celebrate the next day though, and Yeonjun does his birthday live after their LA show.

It’s a busy day, but Yeonjun savours every bit of it. The airplane banner message, all the members joining him during the live, his mother’s cover of Soobin’s birthday song, the cake they bring out on stage for him, all the birthday messages on social media. Once the live is over and he’s alone in his room, the staff having taken the decorations down and filed out, Yeonjun lets his exhaustion envelop him.

He can barely keep his eyes open in the shower and slumps into a heap onto the bed afterwards, not caring that his hair is going to dry messily. He’s about to put his phone away, done with scrolling through Instagram comments, when he hears a knock at the door. Yeonjun can’t stop himself from rolling his eyes and scowling, getting up and looking around to see if maybe someone’s left something in his room.

Yeonjun’s very surprised when he opens the door and sees Taehyun standing there.

“Oh,” is all Yeonjun says, then looks out into the hallway, expecting a staff member to be hovering.

“Hyung,” Taehyun says, and he seems almost nervous.

“Didn’t forget your phone again, did you?” Yeonjun teases. He’s so tired, but he can’t not indulge Taehyun whenever he comes calling.

“No, but, well– Can I come in for a bit? Just to rest?”

Yeonjun’s shocked, but doesn’t let it show. He assumes Taehyun has something to tell him and is just stalling, but normally he isn’t so mysterious about stuff like this. As much as Yeonjun wants to tell him that it’s too late and he’s too tired, he opens the door wider.

“Can I lie down with you?” Taehyun asks when they get to the bed. Relief washes over Yeonjun and he nods enthusiastically. He gets back into the position he was in earlier, pulling back the sheet to let Taehyun slide in beside him. They both lie on their sides, facing each other. Taehyun’s showered and taken off all his makeup now as well.

“How was the gym?” Yeonjun asks conversationally. He reaches out and traces his pointer finger down Taehyun’s nose.

“Fine.” Taehyun lets out a big breath of air. “I just came back, because, well, I felt bad about leaving. During the live.”

Yeonjun cracks a smile. He pokes Taehyun’s cheek, his skin soft against the pad of Yeonjun’s finger.

“You left at the same time as everyone else.”

“I know. But. I kept saying I was going to leave.”

“But you didn’t.”

“I know.” Taehyun’s eyebrows are furrowed now. “I guess I just want hyung to know I wasn’t trying to leave on purpose.”

Yeonjun feels a pang in his chest, a strong urge he can’t really describe. Sometimes he realizes he loves the four of them so much it hurts.

“I know, Taehyun-ah. But thank you,” Yeonjun whispers. He traces the outline of Taehyun’s lips. Taehyun treats him so delicately that Yeonjun doesn’t know what to do with himself when it happens. It’s so nice. So, so, so nice they care about him like this.

“Can you turn off the lights?” Yeonjun asks. Taehyun nods and rolls over, switching off the lamp. He shuffles into Yeonjun’s arms, his skin cold and smooth. Yeonjun links his arms around Taehyun’s stomach, pulling his back to Yeonjun’s chest.

“Are you going to stay?” Yeonjun says, lips kissing the tips of Taehyun’s hair, where it’s growing longer in the back.

“I wasn’t planning on it. But if hyung wants that, I will.”

“I want whatever you want, Taehyun-ah.”

Taehyun hums and just snuggles closer. Even though they’re in the middle of a tour, Yeonjun thinks this is one of the best birthdays he’s ever had.

Another knock on the door wakes Yeonjun. He doesn’t know if minutes or hours have passed since he’d closed his eyes. He presses his fingers into Taehyun’s stomach, and then feels one of Taehyun’s legs move against his.

“Can you get it?” Yeonjun mumbles.

Taehyun doesn’t say anything, he just slides out of the bed, rubbing his eyes. He really wasn’t thinking he’d sleep here, but it’s fine. There’s still time to go back to his room. He knows how tired Yeonjun is.

He pads over to the door quietly, looking through the peep hole before opening the door. Kai’s looking down at the carpet and Taehyun sees in real time as his eyes sweep up Taehyun’s body, surprise settling into him.

“Oh,” Kai says immediately, “I can leave, sorry, I can just–in the morning, or something,” he mumbles, clearing thinking he was interrupting something.

Taehyun fixes him with a look. Now isn’t the time for self-exclusion. Kai’s the worst at at, thinking they don’t want him around when they’ve already started something. Taehyun props the door open with his hip and crosses his arm.

“Of course you can come in,” Taehyun says fondly.

“Are you sure?” Kai asks, but he takes a step forward. They’re so close so suddenly, feet almost touching. Taehyun looks up at him, blinking. A sudden flash of want seizes him. Kai looks good, really good, in his pajamas, with his freshly washed hair.

“What?” Kai whispers, catching onto the fact that Taehyun’s staring.

“You–” Taehyun starts off with, but he’s already reaching up and wrapping an arm around Kai’s neck. He’s not sure which one of them moves first, but Taehyun trips backwards and Kai stumbles forward into the room.

It’s completely dark when the door closes, yet Kai kisses Taehyun with complete accuracy, pushing him up against the wall in one swift motion. Taehyun just lets it happen, even though he’s standing on one of Yeonjun’s crocs, and Yeonjun is literally sleeping in a bed a few meters away. It’s been a long day and he realizes suddenly how much he misses Kai. This tour hasn’t rewarded them with a lot of alone time.

Kai’s hand on his waist, Kai’s hand in his hair, Kai’s spit on his lips. Taehyun lets out a quiet whine and that’s when Kai decides to step back, breathing heavily. Taehyun’s eyes have adjusted to the dark and he takes Kai’s hand, leading him over to the bed. That’s the thing about him and Kai, they can start and stop whenever they want to.

“Hyung, Kai’s here.”

Yeonjun sweeps an arm over the sheets, the sound loud in the dark. Taehyun flicks on the bedside lamp. Immediately the room is flooded with light and Yeonjun winces. He’s on his stomach, with one side of his face squished into his pillow, so Taehyun can only see one of his eyes. The sheet is pooling at his hips, tank top rucked up, waist on display. Taehyun almost feels back about waking him up.

“Kai-yah,” Yeonjun says, then yawns. He closes his eyes again and flips his hand to be palm up.

“Hyung. Sorry, I didn’t know you’d be sleeping,” Kai says apologetically. He leans the pillow Taehyun had been using up against the headboard, then crawls onto the bed, sitting back with his legs straight out in front of him.

Taehyun sits too, crossing his legs and positioning himself so he’s facing Kai and right beside Yeonjun. He puts a hand over the back of Yeonjun’s thigh and Yeonjun flinches when Taehyun’s fingers press into the sheet ever so slightly. He means it as more of a comforting gesture than anything else.

“No, it’s okay. You two can go back to your kissing,” Yeonjun says, voice gone a little gooey. Even through the sleepiness it still sounds like he’s goading them on. Neither Kai nor Taehyun moves. Taehyun knows Kai isn’t here for him, but Taehyun knows Kai’s too kind to ask, now that he’s found Yeonjun like this. Taehyun giggles as he sees Kai’s hands are fisting his sweatpants, eyes trained on Yeonjun.

“Sorry, Kai-yah, hyung’s too tired," Yeonjun mutters. It seems Yeonjun’s figured it out too.

“Mm. That’s okay,” Kai says reassuringly. His grip relaxes and his gaze flicks over to Taehyun.

“Go ask Soobinnie. He always finds a way to say yes to you,” Yeonjun mumbles, voice growing muffled the more he turns his face into his pillow.

“Kai doesn’t want Soobin hyung right now,” Taehyun says, speaking before thinking. He watches as Kai’s eyebrows shoot up.

“Ah, well, it’s just—” Kai bites his nail nervously. “It’s your birthday, hyung.”

Yeonjun laughs kindly, and lifts his head up for a second to look at Kai. Then he flops back down and pulls up the sheet to his shoulders. Taehyun rubs his thigh for a moment.

“It’s okay,” Kai says with an air of finality. He’s accepted his fate. He wasn’t really hoping for much, really. He knew how late it was. But, he was surprised to see Taehyun here, even if it’s Yeonjun’s special day. Normally Taehyun likes to spend his nights on tour alone.

“There’s always tomorrow,” Taehyun suggests and Kai smiles. He’s about to agree, but Yeonjun lets out a grunt and opens his eyes again.

“Can’t. Beomgyu’s already called dibs on me.”

Kai can’t help but laugh. Taehyun huffs out a giggle and shakes his head. Of course. How could they forget about Beomgyu and his methodical ways?

“Maybe you can negotiate with him,” Yeonjun says with a yawn, his syllables getting stretched out with sleep.

“Maybe…” Kai ponders. He probably won’t, because he knows how much Beomgyu likes to spend his one on one time with Yeonjun. He probably has something nice planned, something horribly romantic Yeonjun’s going to get so embarrassed over.

“Okay, well,” Yeonjun rolls over so his back is to the two of them. “I’m going to sleep. You two can do whatever, but turn off the light.”

“Goodnight, hyung. Love you,” Taehyun says softly. And then Kai watches as he crawls over to Kai, right into his lap, and then stops, millimeters away from his lips.

“What are you doing?” Kai whispers, going crosseyed from trying to keep looking in Taehyun’s eyes.

“Turning off the light,” Taehyun whispers back, and then he reaches over and switches it off. Taehyun kisses the smile right off of Kai’s face.

Kai doesn’t stay in Yeonjun’s room and neither does Taehyun. They kiss for a bit, before Taehyun starts making too much noise and then Kai shushes him and then Yeonjun mumbles something incomprehensible and they take that as their cue.

It’s nice, as Taehyun says goodnight to Kai in the hallway and slips into his own room. Kai feels so lucky that this is life. How perfect, to have the best job in the world and spend it with the greatest people he knows.

The next night, after their day off and the seafood dinner, Yeonjun gets another knock at the door. He checks his phone, as usual Beomgyu’s a few minutes late to their agreed upon time.

He swings the door open and sees Kai, changed into a comfier outfit from the restaurant, baseball cap still on and hands in his pocket.

“Wah, were the negotiations successful?” Yeonjun asks, a little surprised. The way Beomgyu had been acting around him today hadn’t hinted at any change in their plans. Yeonjun feels a bit put out suddenly.

“Mmh. Something like that,” Kai says cutely and then turns to look down the hallway.

Yeonjun sticks his head out and sees Taehyun and Soobin walking down the hallway, both pointing at something on Soobin’s phone. Then another door opens and Beomgyu steps out, looking over and catching Yeonjun’s eye. He waves exaggeratedly.

“Oh,” Yeonjun says, excitement suddenly bubbling up in him.

“Yeah,” Kai says sheepishly, rubbing at the back of his neck. “I talked with Beomgyu hyung, but we figured everyone could join.”

“Right,” Yeonjun agrees, as he holds the door open for Kai.

Everyone. That’s what he wants the most. All of the time. For all of them to be together. Because that’s how they fit together best.