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Chapter Text

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The soft notes of the spring breeze filled the air as the Kiramman mansion was quiet, every single room perfectly in silence while both adults in the house did each their own work, their own little contribution to the stability of their house, of their status, but on the garden it was a different situation. The soft smell of lavender had filled the air already, while the sun was starting to hide slowly, the orange and pink-like colors in the sky were marking the slow end of the day.

The mansion Kiramman was one of the widest mansions in their area of Piltover, not the highest area in the city but yet for any Zaunite it seemed like a dream. In the garden of the Kiramman's, sat their only daughter, Caitlyn Kiramman, the midnight blue haired girl was sitting on her favorite spot, a swing under one of the trees of the garden, reading a book quietly while her fingers tapped on the hard cover of the book, she was impatient for something, for someone.

A soft rustle on the bushes made the young girl look up from her book, not scared, she was never scared when it came to this. The soft rustle became a little less quiet, as if something was moving there, as if someone was there. Caitlyn smiled to herself and closed the book, placing it aside on the swing before approaching the bushes quietly, the closer she got the faster her heart started beating.

"Boo!" A girl exclaimed while jumping out of the bushes. "Scared ya, didn't I?" Vi said while laughing softly while Caitlyn smiled, laughing as well a little. "I ought to scold you for startling me." Caitlyn said playfully, as she looked over the other girl. Violet Lanes wasn't nearly from Piltover, a girl born in Zaun, who unlike Caitlyn had to work to get money, even when she legally couldn't yet and not only for her young age.

"Oh really? Then drop the fancy talk, miss proper." Vi teased back, the girl knew the possible reply, and yet she could sit on the grass and listen to Caitlyn's "fancy talk" all day long, time was nothing for them when they were together. "You quite offend me, and I fear I must chide you soundly—though perhaps I might accept a kiss as recompense." Caitlyn stated with a proud smile, before she gently reached out and brushed a leaf from Vi's hair.

"Thought your fancy classes were all piano and needlework, not scolding people. Mon amour. Did I said that right?" Vi said, she was used to try some playful banters in french with Caitlyn, though her social status didn't allowed that kind of classes for her, even less the right to visit such wealthy towns often. "Mon amour? Pourquoi pas « ma femme »?" Caitlyn replied, and chuckled at Vi’s quiet confusion. "But yeah, you said it right." Caitlyn added finally.

"I'll teach you what I said when we get married." Caitlyn assured firmly, after noticing Vi's confusion. Before she turned around to walk again over to the swing under the tree a smug smile played on her lips. "Soon hopefully, just one more year." Vi assured, voice full of hope as she followed Caitlyn, quietly, the mansion Kiramman was giant but not even that could guarante that the young girls wouldn't get caught.

And though Caitlyn’s parents did know Violet, they knew her as a child, back when the Kiramman's hired Violet's father, Vander to build something in the mansion, that's when Violet first met Caitlyn, and though they were little, they used to love hanging out together for hours, until Vander's job was done.

Back then it seemed so easy, no one suspected on two young girls, despite the big difference in their social status that could be easily seen in their clothes and manners, that seemed to fade into insignificance when both girls were together, their friendship had evolved a lot everytime they met, until the "final meeting" came, Vander's job was done.

But far from being satisfied and just accepting their fate, Vi learnt how to sneak into the backyard of the Kiramman mansion, along with Caitlyn who had made a strict plan with no room for failure to meet behind the back of Caitlyn's parents. And thus the garden of the Kiramman's was often the quiet valley of the mansion, it became instead a theatre that got to be a part of youthful vows and promises whispered under the trembling branches of the trees. From their first kiss, to when Violet made Caitlyn their promise to get them a beautiful house when they were older so they could move in together. And even the garden was a part of when Violet had proposed to Caitlyn now two years ago.

A silly promise to most, but a vow to the young girls, who currently sat down on the swing and were close together, enjoying eachother's company even in the quiet, the soft breeze of spring made some leaves move, making a soothing background noise that made each moment perfect. "They saw fit to increase my wages." Violet said softly, to which Caitlyn smiled.

"Darling, you did? I'm so proud of you!" Caitlyn said before she looked over to Violet, both of them quietly kissed once. While most women worked as nurses or midwifes, or were expected to know piano, french and needle work at least, that was not Violet though, due to Violet's "man-like" way to dress and her haircut, she had managed to get a work only men could get at a fabric, in order to help her family and save every other bit of money for Caitlyn, to make true their dream. "Couple more months, and it’s just you ‘n me, cupcake. Nothin’ and no one’s tearin’ us apart then." Vi said, her voice full of promise.

"You must cease calling me such frivolous things." Caitlyn protested, though smiling, she didn't quite loved the nickname but also didn't hated it. "Oh but you're sweet just like a cupcake!" Vi protested then, chuckling a little. The dark sky of the night was filled with stars, and just as they were sitting there, under the light of the moonlight and the stars, the sound of another voice filled the air then. "Caitlyn. Its nearly time to sleep." Cassandra's voice announced.

Violet who had flinched ever so slightly, looked over to Caitlyn. "Guess that's my cue." Vi said, though her voice denoted a slight sadness in her voice, neither of them wanted the other to go. "Goodnight, cupcake." Violet said then softly, and before Caitlyn could protest, she stole a soft kiss from Caitlyn's lips, then getting up from the swing, leaving Caitlyn, who sat there in a quiet surprise with her hands resting over her lap.

"I'll see you tomorrow." Vi said as she walked over to the side of the mansion, she knew this from childhood now, there was a small space in which she could easily sneak everytime. "Goodnight, Violet." Caitlyn said softly, before watching her beloved disappear into the dark of the shadows, just so they wouldn't get caught, even after years of doing the same, their hearts always raced like if it was the first time ever. The sunlight and its rays had faded giving space to the cold breeze of the night, not quite as the winter breeze but still enough to make anyone shiver.

A moment after Caitlyn got up, straightened her dress as almost a reflex, picked up her book and headed inside of her mansion carefully, minding her steps to not accidentally get mud in the hem of her dress, her steps echoed through the halls of the giant space, and made her feel even more lonely that she should. The click of her shoes against polished oak resounded through the corridor while Caitlyn was absent-mindly walking into her bedroom, Caitlyn's thoughts were filled with Vi's promises and the sweet way she talked to her.

—Soon we'll get married.—Caitlyn thought, as she undid her corset and started undressing, the soft breeze of the night that crept through her balcony made her get goosebumps, but it also brought back the memory of the night Violet asked her to marry her, the memory still fresh in her mind.

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It was only a year ago, during a beautiful winter night, Caitlyn had been sick for a few weeks now, unable to get up from bed to go to the garden to see Violet. And yet that Violet had managed to climb over Caitlyn's balcony somehow, her short hair had some snowflakes on it when she snuck through Caitlyn's balcony with a smile. "You came." Caitlyn said with surprise, she didn't expected that visit in the slightest.

"Well some birdie told me that my dearest cupcake was bored, and I cannot allow that." Violet said with a smile, and an almost theatrical voice, Caitlyn knew well Violet had a job, from a long while ago, but never knew that Violet saved every single penny she could just for her. "And you know I'll always come to your calls." Violet then added with a smug smile, before walking over to Caitlyn and standing by her side, handing her a little package, carefully tied with some small flowers and the package was shaped like a book.

"This is an early christmas present." Violet said softly, with a smile, she sat by Caitlyn's side while Caitlyn opened the package just to find that the book was a small journey, decorated with dried out flowers from the Kiramman's garden and also some other flowers and many drawings made personally by Violet, along with small stories of that day. "Violet... this is beautiful." Caitlyn had said in disbelief, as she passed the pages carefully, and found some empty pages, the blank space seemed odd to be between so many drawings and stories, until Caitlyn noticed that the first empty page was titled "The day of our wedding.", only then Caitlyn looked up to see Violet by the side of the bed on one knee.

"I would've done this in the snow, but I cannot wait anymore." Vi said softly before she gently took one of Caitlyn's hands in hers, and took a shaky breath. "Caitlyn Kiramman, you're the most beautiful girl I've ever met, and the smartest one too, you've made everything in my life so special that I cannot picture a life without you. I know I don't have a ring to give you right away, nor I own any expensive land, but I need to ask you. Would you grant me the honor of being your wife?" Violet said, her voice the sweetest Caitlyn had ever heard in her entire life.

The words made Caitlyn’s eyes well up with tears of excitement, despite their young age back then Caitlyn was more than willing to say yes. The few quiet seconds before Caitlyn's reply were filled by the soft breeze of winter creeping through the open balcony door, and caused Caitlyn's skin to get goosebumps. "Of course I will Violet." Caitlyn finally said and Vi got up to hug Caitlyn softly, and for a quiet seconds, their hearts seemed to beat for eachother only. Their foreheads rested on eachothers, and Vi tried to lean in for a kiss, Caitlyn stopped her gently. "Violet you'll get sick too." Caitlyn said then, her voice full of concern.

"I'll live. Just one kiss?" Vi tried to convince. Their distraction had made them unaware of the footsteps on the hallway, as the knob of the door in the bedroom started to twist, both girls looked at eachother in almost panic, as Caitlyn hid the journal carefully under one of her pillows, while Violet hid underneath Caitlyn's bed.

"Miss Kiramman, I brought your tea." A servant from the Kiramman's said softly, one of the housemaids, entering the room quietly and walked over to the side of Caitlyn's bed. "Oh? Miss Kiramman your mother said not to go outside." The housemaid said softly, before walking over to the balcony door, and closing it.

"Ah... I just- needed fresh air." Caitlyn assured, though the bitter taste of the lie stung on her tongue.—If I only knew my mother accepts this relationship.—Caitlyn thought, and then accepted the tea from the servant, the warm tea and its soft smell had filled the bedroom in just a second. "Thank you. Could you also give me some cookies?" Caitlyn asked her servant gently, though the Kiramman's had lots of servants of many kinds, Caitlyn had always been taught to be respectful to them.

"Of course Miss Kiramman." The housemaid said before gently placing a plate of cookies besides Caitlyn in bed, then after making sure Caitlyn was well tucked in bed and left the bedroom quietly, closing the door behind herself. "Close call." Caitlyn said in almost a sigh, while waiting for Violet to come out from under the bed. "Cupcake, you tryna smother yourself under all those blankets?" Vi said as she came out from under the bed.

Caitlyn chuckled and grabbed the plate of cookies, offering it to Vi, Vi took one and chewed on it. "You know? Back in Zaun we might not have huge meals everyday, but my dad says that eating alone isn't good." Violet assured, and sat down by Caitlyn's side, joining her during her tea, they shared cookies and enjoyed eachothers company.

—Maybe if I was richer I wouldn’t have to sneak in and risk Caitlyn to her mother.—Vi thought while they enjoyed their small moment together, but love knew no barriers, and they were living proof of it. "When we get married and get our own place, you gotta ask that servant of yours to give us the recipe to this cookies." Vi said while chewing on one of the cookies.

To Caitlyn's eyes, it was almost like if they were still 7 and just meeting, Vi always used to chew and talk at the same time, even back then, during their first meetings. Vander would always tell Vi to behave with Caitlyn, but actually Caitlyn thought Violet being herself was the greatest version of Vi she could've ever met.

After sharing cookies and a bit of tea, along with some laughter due to Vi's imitation to "how pilties looked like drinking tea and talking". It was time for Vi to go, it was almost midnight and outside it was still snowing. Against every single one of Caitlyn's warnings, Vi did stole one kiss from Caitlyn's lips. "Goodnight cupcake." Vi said in a soft whisper. "Goodnight Vi." Caitlyn replied quietly.

Vi made her way to Caitlyn's balcony, and as she stepped out to the cold, she took a shaky breath.—Its worth it.—Vi would always tell herself in times like that night, and then disappeared into the dark of the night to go back into Zaun.

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Caitlyn smiled at the memory, while she slid into her bed, her dress for tomorrow already hung besides her dressing glass in her bedroom. The silence filled Caitlyn's bedroom as she laid under her bedsheets, reaching over to the empty side of her big bed, and wishing deeply for Violet to be there, to be by her side in bed.

Caitlyn thought about how her life with Violet would be in just a few months, how amazing would it be when they were 18, married and had ran away to live together hidden from everyone's judgement. Caitlyn's heart warmed to the thought that in just a few months she would be falling asleep in the same bed as the love of her life.

Both girls had made lots of plans for their future together, they would turn 18 and get married behind their families backs, except for the ones who knew about their secret romance, who were few, but knew how to keep a secret. Then both girls would run away to a far away region in Runaterra, and would buy a house to live in together, away from anyone who would possibly judge them, or worse, snitch on them.

With a quiet sigh, Caitlyn slowly slipped into a quiet slumber, only listening to the faint sound of leaves rustling on the garden thanks to the early spring breeze, the sound soothing every other thought and easing Caitlyn into her deep sleep under her silky bedsheets, wishing that Vi was there too.

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The next morning, the sunshine crept into Caitlyn's bedroom. The midnight blue haired girl was already donning her morning attire after her basic morning routine. Caitlyn walked out of her bedroom with a bright smile, that day she had shooting practice and was going to see Violet again for a bit longer.

Caitlyn stepped into the dining room of the mansion, her posture perfect though her smile and eyes denoted how happy she was, the day seemed brilliant for her today. "Good morning mother, father." Caitlyn said softly, her voice firm yet held the whole respect she had for her parents, and she sat down to have breakfast.

"Good morning Caitlyn." Cassandra said firmly, while she grabbed the newspaper from the table, in the Kiramman family the women were also well informed in politics, mostly in order to guide their husbands, but Cassandra Kiramman was an influent woman, she could do a lot even by just saying a few words. "Who were you talking to yesterday at the garden?"

Cassandra asked Caitlyn, firmly, but not granting her a look, just a quiet moment for her to answer, while Cassandra sipped on her tea. Caitlyn who was also sipping on her tea was a little surprised. "With one of the servants, mother." Caitlyn replied firmly, she had this kind of close calls before, Caitlyn knew what to do. Then Caitlyn's hand reached for a toast and chewed on it softly.

"About love?" Cassandra asked then, raising an eyebrow slightly and lowering the newspaper, looking over to Caitlyn as if analyzing every single reaction of hers. "It was about the book I was reading, mother." Caitlyn assured, and though her face remained peaceful, her hands didn't trembled not even in the slightest, though Caitlyn's heart beat so fast now, and it felt like her throat had closed for a brief moment.

"I thought you were reading about politics and history." Cassandra added, and Caitlyn denied with her head slightly. "I finished that book a week ago, mother." Caitlyn assured before sipping again on her cup of tea, her pinky finger raised perfectly, Caitlyn’s manners were impecable since she was just a little kid.

Caitlyn didn't get more than a short "Oh." From Cassandra before she dropped the conversation, to continue reading. A couple of minutes after Cassandra pressed the newspaper on the table and pointed out one of the articles. "Caitlyn, there's a ball coming up next week, I think its quite time for you to start going to balls and trying to find you future husband." Cassandra pointed out. Caitlyn felt her chest tighten for a moment.

"Mother, if you may allow me I decline to the offer. I would like to fully know everything in my classes before thinking of meeting my future husband." Caitlyn stated, the word "husband" felt bitter in her mouth, almost wrong. Caitlyn was sure she wasn't going to get a husband, but was in fact getting married in less than a year now. "I couldn't just risk the properties and decorum of our family to the hands of an improper man." Caitlyn added firmly, her words sounded true.

Caitlyn's father didn't had a lot to talk about the subject of discussion, and Cassandra simply nodded, Caitlyn soon finished her breakfast. "I ought to go to class, mother, father, excuse me." Caitlyn said before getting up from the table, fixing her dress and then walking quietly out of the dining room. After grabbing a little bag, Caitlyn made her way to the front door, and made her way to her shooting practice.

Caitlyn couldn't help noticing that the streets were a little louder than usual, something might have happened, but no enforcers were on sight so Caitlyn assumed that probably it was just a gossip that spread around and caused this whole thing.

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Upon arriving Caitlyn started practicing her shot. She was excellent, no one could ever beat her on that, and yet by the end of her classes she could still see the people in the streets whispering things, saying things, but Caitlyn couldn't quite make out what were they saying apart for something about war.—Surely it doesn’t matter.—

Upon arriving her mansion again, Caitlyn met up with Jayce Talis, her best friend, almost like the older brother she never had. "If it isn't the princess Kiramman." Jayce teased, and took a bow for Caitlyn playfully, laughing a little at Caitlyn's reaction.

As they sat down to talk, Jayce asked Caitlyn about her classes, her shot, and most importantly, when they were left alone. He took a sip of his tea cup and looked dead serious at Caitlyn's eyes. "Its just a matter of time until you turn 18, sprout." Jayce started saying, he knew well about Caitlyn's romance with Vi, he remembered perfectly the day Caitlyn had told him.

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It was a quiet day of autumn, around three years prior this day, Caitlyn had sent a letter to Jayce that day.

October 24th, 1847.
My dearest older brother.

I hope this letter finds you in good health. I write this letter to you in order to book a meeting, just the two of us. In the park that we love. I am curious about something and I must ask you right away, since you're my closest friend and you're like my older brother. I hope to hear about your reply soon.
Your loving friend. Caitlyn Kiramman.

Jayce who got the letter almost right away carefully broke the seal of the letter and unfolded it, he was surprised it was such a short letter, almost like if the question couldn't nearly be asked or adressed in it, Jayce, out curiosity agreed to it, and within hours they had met in the park. Caitlyn who was just 14 years old at the time, was sitting under a tree, her hands on her lap while her fingers fidgeted nervously. Jayce sat down by Caitlyn's side and smiled.

"What's this meeting all about, sprout?" Jayce asked, and Caitlyn took a small breath, as if she was about to ask something forbidden. "Jayce... you have been with ladies before, right?" Caitlyn started asking, her voice almost shy, like if she was afraid to even ask. "I have, not many but I have." Jayce said then casually before adding; "Why is that for? I don't-" Jayce stopped himself mid sentence as he thought something clicked on his brain.

"Wait you wanna know about?-" Jayce asked, thinking that he was the one Caitlyn choose to explain how "babies were made", and Jayce was surely not willing to do that, he wouldn't tell that to the little girl he considered his younger sister. "What I'm trying to say is- how do you know when you... really, really like a girl." Caitlyn said before Jayce could even finish his train of thoughts.

"Oh? Like a friend? Well you get along with her and-" Jayce's words were again cut short. "No. Not like a friend, I mean liking her like... a wife." Caitlyn said, since she didn't knew any other way to say it, and as much as she had researched in books, she couldn't figure out who else to ask besides Jayce.

"As a wife? Oh sprout..." Jayce said upon understanding what Caitlyn meant, his eyes softened as he realized what was this all about. "Well... you really enjoy being with her, every single second seems like the finest moments of your existence and... I guess pretty much everything around you seems to fade when you're with her." Jayce said then, Caitlyn was quiet for a moment as if processing Jayce's words, and then her hands tightened in her lap for a moment.

"Jayce... I like a girl." Caitlyn stated finally, and Jayce was almost stunned to how quickly Caitlyn had figured that out, he was the one who was full of questions now. "Who?" Jayce asked simply. He expected it to be someone of Caitlyn’s friends, anyone at all. "I like Violet." Caitlyn said firmly, and Jayce was surprised, but didn't quite oposed, Caitlyn seemed happy to finally know that she truly liked Violet. From then on it was a whole journey everytime they met. Caitlyn would always tell Jayce about Violet, about the way Violet used to sneak into the garden to talk with her, their future plans, and even when Vi proposed to her.

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"Are you gonna visit me, sprout?" Jayce asked then, he knew Caitlyn was going to get married, and had assumed that Caitlyn would in fact move out with Violet if they had planned this so long ago. Caitlyn smiled and sipped on her tea. "Of course I will." Caitlyn assured. Not a hint of doubt on her voice.

"By the way, how's things with your associate?" Caitlyn asked with a smile, she had always thought "associate" was a particular way for Jayce to call Viktor since both men seemed to be far closer than just associates, but wouldn't ever judge him for it, the way Jayce didn't judged her. "Oh, we're doing good, I have a feeling soon we're gonna do big things together." Jayce assured with a smile, before he sipped a little bit more of his tea.

For the next few hours both Caitlyn and Jayce talked about the sweet and sour, oblivious to whatever was happening on the streets that had all the people whispering and going all around about war rumours.

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When Jayce left, Caitlyn went back to her bedroom, to change her dress, she changed into a navy blue dress, the corset was tight, but Caitlyn couldn't almost notice yet, because she was off to see Violet, off to see the love of her life and soon to be wife.

Caitlyn went downstairs and made her way into the garden to read as usual, since that day Caitlyn's mother was busy and so was her father, it was the best moment for meeting Vi without getting caught or risking as much as they did sometimes. Just a while after Violet arrived. Smiling as usual, though this time Vi had arrived a little earlier than she usually did, Caitlyn dismissed it as maybe excitement.

"How's my favorite fine Lady?" Violet teased playfully and chuckled, her hair still smelled slightly like the smoke that usually filled Zaun's streets all the time. "Today was great actually." Caitlyn said with a smile, used to keeping her words short, though Vi just stayed quiet for a small second.

"Shooting practice was amazing. And I learnt a new song in piano, and I got perfect scores at my french class and-" Caitlyn stopped herself then. "Pardon. Today was just great." Caitlyn said, used to the reflex of not oversharing because "that's not what ladies do.", Vi chuckled a little, the sound rich to Caitlyn's ears, almost like a melody. "Cupcake, you can talk all you want. I am not anyone to judge, and I'll listen to you for hours if that's what you want." Vi assured, and without even a sight of disgust, Vi leaned back in the swing and stayed silent so Caitlyn could tell her about her amazing day.

Due to Vi arriving earlier, they got to spend more time together, way more time than usual. Which for Caitlyn was great, but when Vi left that night, she seemed a little different, something Caitlyn attributed to Vi maybe being too tired.

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The same day had started different for Violet. Her day started early, when she had woke up in order to help with their house, since Vander worked too many hours already and barely had time for them due to the few time he had off work. Vi had long ago figured out that if she dressed more like "a man" she could get a job, and so she did. Still managing to balance work, visiting Caitlyn, and seeing her family.

But that morning the air felt different from the moment Violet noticed the strong steps of enforcers on the streets, yet tried not to mind it while she made sure Powder had something for breakfast. "Okay powpow, I have to go to work, there's a french book on your bed so you can learn, alright? I'll see you later." Vi said before hugging her younger sister, Vi did had two younger brothers, Mylo and Claggor, but long ago their family got sick, and Violet and Powder were the only children in the house to survive the sickness. Due to that, Violet had managed to get Powder things so she could study like high-class girls did, and maybe Powder would get married to a good man and give her a better future.

Upon leaving for work, Violet could see many enforcers in the street, and limited herself to focus on going to work soon. And yet at some point, one of the enforcers stopped her suddenly. Vi didn't speak, just gave the enforcer a quick look and walked away.

In a few minutes Violet was at work, Violet had already changed into work clothing at the factory, when the front doors slammed open, enforcers walked in and started handing a paper to each men who was working in there, Violet got hers, and her eyes widened when she realized what the letter was about. War.

She had heard rumours about a war, but thought it was just that, a rumour. Violet wondered if she should speak out, if she should say that she wasn't a man, that she shouldn't go, but the letter mentioned, that one men per family should go, and if it wasn't her to go and act like a man, she knew it would be Vander, and Vi wouldn't allow that.

The letter seemed to be a weight heavier than anything Vi had ever carried before, a weight she couldn't just drop or pass, for the very first time she was stuck with the weight of hiding something too big and the weight of having to leave her loved ones in order to save and protect them.

With a shuddering breath Vi hid the letter in her pocket, and returned to her work at the fabric, though she knew what her faith would be, and she was yet to figure out whether she should tell someone or keep it to herself, and Vi knew in a heartbeat that she would keep this a secret for as long as she could.

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Upon arriving her home that evening, Violet hid the letter in her drawers, and made sure it wasn't visible at all, and left for a while to visit Caitlyn, Vi had decided to make the most of this month and probably give Caitlyn a letter the day before leaving, praying that Caitlyn would understand her when Vi did this.

Vi's chest tightened everytime she saw either Caitlyn or Powder, the knowledge that she was hiding this from them made her feel weak, but she knew she couldn't be, not if she wanted to come back, to do as she said she would and marry Caitlyn, move out and have a better life built by the side of her beloved.

Every night, when everyone was asleep, Vi wrote letters, trying to find the words to explain what she was about to do, trying to explain she had no choice, but everytime she would burn them or torn them to pieces, it was useless, she couldn't do this, not yet.

But every night, Vi would save one letter for each one of her loved ones.—Just in case.—Vi would tell herself, but the letters seemed to creep into her mind every single night, and haunted her with the weight of her lie. And every morning the dread of waking up to an enforcer coming for her to take her into war haunted her too.

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Violet's plan worked out pretty well, she hid it for two full weeks, but every night her chest tightened when she was hit with the memory that she would have to leave in just two short weeks and she still hadn't told a soul about it.

But that day while Vi was off at work, Powder wandered over her drawers and found the letter, curious as the young child she was, she peeked over it, and her smile faded with every single word she read. War. A month. And the end was the worst, Powder noticed the date this was delivered already two weeks ago.

Along with that, Powder found two letters, one for her, and one for Caitlyn, her heart dropped with realization, and that same afternoon she waited for Vi. Vi had barely stepped a foot in the house when Powder walked over to her. "Vi you can't go to war!" Powder stated firmly, though her eyes looked glassy, she had been crying. Violet's eyes widened as she inmediately noticed that Powder had been wandering in her stuff. "Powder! What did I told you about wandering on my stuff?" Violet scolded back, but she couldn't deny her secret to her little sister anymore.

"You can't go to war! What if something goes wrong? You have to tell them you're not a man!" Powder said, her voice cracking slowly but surely into desperation, while tears welled up in her eyes again, Violet's face softened for a second.

"I can't say that Powpow. If I do, dad will go to war instead of me." Violet stated, and though her voice was firm, she couldn't help that she felt tears in her eyes too, after all it was her little sister yelling at her to not go to war, but they both knew that their father had long retired from violence, and neither of them wanted to lose their father, again.

"It can't be! There must be another way! Please Vi." Powder pleaded, and Violet's chest tightened painfully, this was the worst she could do, but what choice did she had? It was her or her family, Vi wasn't earning enough money yet, if Vander went to war instead of her she would lose her house, her sister, everything. "You can't leave us Violet!" Powder protested again, her voice starting to break as tears started rolling down her cheeks.

"Powder I can’t just sit here and do nothin’!" Violet snapped, though she didn't meant to, the stress, sadness and desperation had gotten into her, and was catching up. Her eyes widened when she realized she had yelled at her little sister. Powder couldn't say another word, she froze in place, and didn't argued. Instead she just walked back into their bedroom, and refused to talk to Violet for the rest of the day.

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The next day, when Powder was left alone at home she grabbed a piece of paper, ink and a metal pen to write down a letter, though due to her lack of education it was a little challenging. But due to their situation it was urgent for her to write, whatever it took, she needed to.

April 15 1850.

Caitlyn! You might not know me but I am Violet's sis!! Anyway, I write this because I URGE your help, right away!!! You see a day ago I found a letter from a commander from WAR in Violet's drawer!! She's planning on going to WAR and not tell us until the same day!! Anyway you might not belive this so I send the letter she wrote for you too, I urge for you to make her change her mind!
Powder Lanes.

Powder looked at the letter for a few moments, and even held herself back from doodling in the empty spaces to make sure it was obvious how serious this was.—I hope this reaches her soon.—Powder thought, and grabbed the letter Vi was supposed to give Caitlyn the day she would leave, tied both letters together and sent them to the post office right away.

Then she returned to her house and tried to search Vi's drawers for anything else, but found nothing, she sighed and layed in bed, hugging her pillow quietly and seeing her toys tossed on a corner. "What am I supposed to do to stop her now?" Powder asked her plushies, and since she got nowhere with her thoughts just decided to wait, and pray that the letter would reach Caitlyn before the two weeks passed.

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Three days had passed from that, and the Kiramman mansion got the mail. "Caitlyn, you've got some letters here." Caitlyn's father announced, and Caitlyn surprised nonetheless grabbed the letters and looked at them for a moment. "Powder..." Caitlyn murmured to herself, the name sounded so similar to her, and then it clicked. Violet's sister, Caitlyn excused herself and went into her room, whatever it made Violet's sister write her a letter wasn't any good.

Upon opening the first letter, Caitlyn had to take breaks reading it, not only because of the awful calligraphy, but also because of the way it was written, Caitlyn could swear she was reading in another language. But yet when she finally figured the letters out her heart dropped at the word "War", of course Caitlyn knew about it, but as far as she concerned women were not recruited for it.

In absolute disbelief, Caitlyn broke the seal of the other letter, the one Violet wrote, hoping for this to be a cruel prank of some sort. Her eyes scanned through the second letter and her stomach seemed to have turned into a knot suddenly.

April 4th 1850.
My dearest Caitlyn.

I am sorry to bring the news to you so late and in a piece of paper instead of in person, I wish it could be different. A month ago I got a letter in order for me to go to war, but as much as I would want to stay, its me or my father, and you and I know that my father cannot resist another war the same way I cannot mantain the house on my own. I am truly sorry for leaving suddenly, but I promise you that I will come back soon. I will fight not only for our nations, but for you, to get back to you and get married.
I truly love you, and I hope you find the ways to forgive me. Since I couldn't find the courage myself to tell you this in person.
Love.
Violet Lanes.

Caitlyn had to read the letter around three more times, trying to find a sign that this was a joke, just an awful joke, but it was useless, not a single bit of this letter was a joke, and neither was Powder's letter. Caitlyn took a shuddering breath and placed both letters down on her bed. Then looked over to the balcony, the sun was still up, it was probably three to four hours before it started going down.

—Its just a matter of time before our meeting in the park today.—Caitlyn thought, and looked down at the letters again for a split of a second, her heartbeat got faster everytime she saw the letter from Vi, a lump formed on her throat as she finally fell to her knees on the floor of her bedroom, her head leaned into her bed softly as she choked a sob.

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The sun was starting to go down when Caitlyn was sitting down on a bench on the park she loved. Her hands rested on her lap, hiding the carefully folded letters she had received that same day, her breath steady though her heartbeat increased every moment, her ocean blue eyes were slightly glassy from crying.

Violet arrived only a few minutes later, sitting by Caitlyn's side on the bench while her smile faded when she noticed Caitlyn's glassy eyes. "Cupcake? What's wrong?" Violet asked in concern, reaching out to cup Caitlyn's cheek with a gentle touch. Caitlyn didn't spoke at first, then took a shuddering breath. "You're going to war and you didn't planned on even trying to tell me?" Caitlyn said finally, her voice seemed almost weak at first, the letter on her lap weighted awfully for Caitlyn now.

"How did you?-" Violet's words were cut short when she saw Caitlyn's hands lift the letter that was intended for her. Vi's cerulean blue eyes had suddenly filled with tears as she realized that there was only one person who knew about the letter.—How am I supposed to get mad at them for knowing something I should've told them?—Vi wondered, a single quiet tear rolled down her cheek, her eyes uncapable to hold them back for any longer.

"I- I'm sorry..." Violet said softly, her voice cracking slightly, as the lump on her throat seemed to start choking her, the guilt and responsability mixed awfully making Violet's chest tighten. "I have to." Violet choked out, and Caitlyn's heart tightened to the sight of her beloved in such distress. Even when Caitlyn wouldn't admit it, deep inside a small part of her heart knew that Violet would have to go, or else everyone would find out she was a woman, Violet's father might die, if she was discovered people could even try to punish her for it, how could she try to scold her too for something both of them knew was their only choice?

Caitlyn's hand placed softly over Vi's, and tears started streaming down her cheeks too. For a moment, both girls looked at eachother in a silent understanding. "I will wait for you, if you have to go." Caitlyn assured softly, her voice though firm could show how much it hurted her to say that.

Unlike other times, today both girls just sat there, leaning into the other as if both of them were silently grieving something that neither them couldn't quite grasp yet. And when the stars lit up the sky, they stared at them for a little longer than usual. For the first time, saying goodbye felt like a last time, and it was something that neither of the both girls could try to fix.

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During the next week and a half, Caitlyn made sure to meet Violet in a shooting range with only one purpose. Caitlyn couldn't keep Violet from war, but she could teach her to shoot without failing, as if that could make it safer for Violet in the battle field.

"Higher Violet." Caitlyn corrected Vi's posture for what felt like the thousand time in the week, but somehow Violet managed to shoot the target just right. "There." Violet said with a smug smile, before she turned to look at Caitlyn's eyes again. "You make a great teacher, cupcake." Vi said before she leaned closer to Caitlyn with a smile. Caitlyn smiled too and looked at Vi’s eyes. For a quiet second their lips met on a kiss, and for the slightest moment, the knowing that tomorrow or maybe even today was their last day together seemed to fade into insignificance.

After separating from their kiss, both of them shared a small silence before the owner of the place announced that he was going to close. "Its time to go home, princess." Violet teased, and despite that she walked back home with Caitlyn in the quiet of the night in Piltover.

Upon arriving the mansion, Violet turned to look at Caitlyn and smiled softly. "I have a gift for you, in case we don't get to see eachother tomorrow." Violet started, before she reached into her pocket, and gently placed something on Caitlyn's hand. Caitlyn gasped softly when she noticed a small reliquary shaped like a heart on her hand, the silver necklace dimly reflected the moonlight. "Vi where did you?" Caitlyn was so stunned she couldn't even speak. "I told you I got a raise." Violet said with a smile, before gently helping Caitlyn putting on the necklace.

"And with this heart, I promise you that I will write to you every single day. And that I will come back to you." Violet vowed, her voice soft and filled of truth. "You better honor your promises, Miss Lanes." Caitlyn said with a smile, and though fearing that this could be the last time. Both girls leaned in and kissed under the light of a thousand stars.

And if there happened to be a shooting star somewhere, both girls knew that they had wished for the same. For Violet to come back safe from war and be able to see eachother again.

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Chapter Text

After that kiss, both girls had hugged for a little while longer, until curfew time was over for Caitlyn. Upon noticing it, Caitlyn sighed and looked at Vi's eyes, which reflected the same sadness she felt. Even if both of them tried their best to ignore it, they knew this might be their last moment together. "Goodnight, Vi." Caitlyn said, her voice cracked ever so slightly, the pain of saying goodbye seemed to burn her heart and throat upon saying those words.

"Goodnight, cupcake." Vi said, a hint of hope in her voice, as if that playful nickname was more than just that tonight, as if that small nickname could make them both forget the weight of tonight's goodbye. Vi's thumb brushed Caitlyn's cheek one last time before she watched Caitlyn turn back and walk to the stairs of the mansion.

The silence filled the streets while Caitlyn walked up the stairs of her mansion, the soft steps carried a weight Caitlyn couldn't quite describe. Upon reaching the big entrance door, Caitlyn looked back and they both gave each other one last glance before Caitlyn pushed the door open and stepped into the mansion quietly, her steps steady even when her eyes were filling with tears.

Violet took a shaky breath when she saw the door closing, her eyes welled up with tears she had held back while she turned around to get to her own place. While walking on the quiet Piltover streets, the silence seemed so loud on Violet's ears, deafening almost. Every step on the street made Violet's heart sink further, knowing that not only she would be saying goodbye to her beloved that night, but also to her little sister.

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The streets of Zaun were dirty, dark, every alley seemed like a risk, while the smell of smoke mixed with the smell of coal Vi had on her clothes, it was loud in Zaun, but Vi couldn't care less about it, her mind was louder, filled with thoughts about this being her last night in here.

Upon arriving her place, she opened the door just to find Powder sitting on the dining table, she looked tired, but on the table there was one cupcake and an oil lamp to keep even the slightest bit of light in the small place. The silence said more than a thousand words, Vi closed the door behind herself, and walked to sit down at the table along with her little sister. "What's this Powpow?" Violet asked, trying her best so her voice wouldn't crack and break, she couldn't break in front of her little sister.

"You love cupcakes, and it would be sad if you didn't eat one at least now, since... we might not see each other on your birthday, or mine..." Powder said, her voice seemed weak, tired, but she had stayed awake waiting for her big sister.—No tiredness is bigger than the pain of knowing that you weren't awake at your sister's last night at home.—Powder had convinced herself, and had saved every single penny she could get for the past two weeks to afford Vi one last cupcake.

Vi's eyes welled up with tears again, and she quietly hugged her younger sister. "Thank you, Powpow..." Vi said, her voice cracking ever so slightly as she held her little sister between her arms, Powder's frame was skinny, light, while Vi's was a little stronger, and could easily wrap Powder's smaller body and hold her tight. The cupcake was a little misshaped because of being bought in a rush, but for them it meant everything.

A few moments after, though both sisters were tired, their eyes were a little swollen because of the tears, they sat down together at the table and shared the cupcake like if it was a shared birthday for them. "I'll tell dad you're at work, okay?" Powder promised softly, her voice cracking a little too at the painful promise, then she took a small bite of her half of the cupcake. None of them had the heart to tell their old man that Vi was going to war to keep him from going himself. Vi just gave Powder a small look that spoke more than a million words at once.

Vi had hesitated a little to take the first bite of her cupcake, not because she didn't like it, but because she was well aware that this might be her last sweet in a while, she enjoyed every single bite. Every single bite of the sweet flavor that lingered on her mouth after each bite. And every time she looked up and saw her little sister, the lump in her throat made it hard for her to swallow the sugary flavor of the cupcake.

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Neither of the young women got a lot of rest that night. The young midnight blue haired girl was spiraling into thoughts of war, her brain was storming on ideas on how to keep her beloved from war. She knew there was no way, none of those plans would work, but every bit of her heart was clinging to a last bit of hope that she could do anything about it. That a miracle could save Vi from leaving. Caitlyn rolled in bed, her soft bedsheets felt warm against her skin. She couldn't catch even the slightest bit of rest.

Violet's night was restless too, but for a different reason. Upon going to sleep, while Violet's heart hammered against her rib cage, she noticed Powder wasn't asleep. "Vi? Can I... sleep with you tonight?" Powder murmured, while she sat on the edge of her bed, the night was never quiet in Zaun, but tonight it seemed less louder than the other days, as if their own city was grieving the loss of their loved ones even before war.

A small smile tugged on Vi's lips, a sad smile, it was just like when Powder was a little younger and would ask to sleep with Vi when she had a nightmare. "Sure Powpow, come here." Vi replied, her voice tired, she slid a hand under her blankets and pushed them back to allow Powder in bed with her, Powder laid down by Violet's side and both of them covered with the warm blankets. Vi reached and hugged her little sister softly then.

"Whatever happens, Powpow, I want you to study a lot, okay? You will get an amazing future, I promise." Vi whispered softly, as both sisters grew more tired, but neither of them wanted to close their eyes just yet, they knew that when they woke up, they would have to be away from each other.

And to the faint sound of Zaun, the smell of the oil lamp that rested on the nightstand right next to Violet's bed and their warm hug, both sisters drifted asleep, wondering if tomorrow would bring them a miracle.

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The next day came quicker than expected, for both Vi and Caitlyn. Vi woke up early, to make her sister breakfast for the last time in who knows how much time. But just before doing so, Vi went into the kitchen to finish a letter she had written to Caitlyn yesterday.—This is not nearly enough.—Vi thought, but as she slid the letter into the letter envelope, she paused, and carefully grabbed a knife from the kitchen.

Vi reached her hand up and grabbed a small hairlock of hers, then without hesitation cut it off, before she tied it with a small ribbon, and slid it into the letter envelope too before closing it, then pressed a soft kiss against it, as if that would make Caitlyn able to kiss her even in the distance.

After saving the letter, Vi cooked some pancakes, Powder's favorites, and while doing so, her mind wandered about her options, maybe waiting a little longer before showing up, or just hiding. But reality was harsh to hit, when Violet remembered the letter announced.

"Any failure to appear at the appointed time shall be met with disciplinary measures, and the recruit’s standing will be forfeit."

The words carelessly written on that damn letter made Vi's hands unstable and her skin crawl, a shiver ran down her spine at the thought, neither option would be good for her or her family. Vi sighed as she staked another pancake on Powder's plate.—At least I'll go see Cait first.—Vi thought, it was still early 6:50AM. Time seemed to go way faster today and it was absolutely awful. Powder didn't take long to wake up, stepping into the small kitchen of their place while rubbing her eye with one hand. "Morning Vi." Powder said with a sleepy voice, her little blue eyes lit up when she saw the pancakes on the table.

Powder's first reaction was to walk over to Vi and hug her softly. "Thank you kindly." Powder said with a smile on her lips, even when this wasn't a perfect morning, the smallest moments were everything now, and would always be for them. Both sisters sat on the table to have breakfast, Powder fidgeted with her fork, while Vi ate slower than usually, the lump of her throat at the thought of leaving made it hard for her to swallow.

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Caitlyn's room was dimly lit by the first rays of the sun, warm, cozy, and yet for Caitlyn, this seemed to be the coldest morning ever. The midnight blue-haired girl sat down in her bed, dressed already in a navy blue dress and corset. The quietness in her bedroom was barely disturbed by the noise of the birds singing in the garden of the mansion.

Caitlyn's mind no longer raced on ideas of how to save Violet, she had accepted her fate, and had made herself a promise to do everything possible to help Vi return soon from war, even if she couldn't possibly risk going there too, to help her, to be with her. That wasn't possible. At least not for Caitlyn.

Caitlyn stood up from her bed, her eyes didn't have the same spark of everyday. Caitlyn walked out of her bedroom and closed the door behind herself, her steps were steady but her chest felt hollow.

The quiet steps from Caitlyn walking over to the kitchen seemed to fade as background noise in Caitlyn's mind. She sat down to have breakfast in silence, listening to her mother talk about politics, about future balls that could grant Caitlyn a great husband. If they only knew Caitlyn did not wanted a husband. The clink of the silverware made Caitlyn’s head ache and her stomach churn with unease, everything seemed too loud compared to the silence of Caitlyn’s chest, the emptiness that made Caitlyn’s chest feel tight, almost like if the dining room seemed to suffocate her.

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Vi had already wrapped the bandages around her chest to make it look flatter and was putting on a jacket, when she noticed the time. 7:35am, she barely had any time left before having to show up with the other recruits, and her heart dropped when she realized she wouldn't be able to see Caitlyn one last time if she didn't hurry. They knew this last night, that it was a possibility that they wouldn't see each other today.

But it still couldn't hurt any less to know that she wouldn't hug Caitlyn for the last time today, that she wouldn't get to see her today. Violet could feel the letter she had written in the morning still in her jacket and decided she would go to Piltover one last time, even if that meant she could get caught, or that she would have to run to arrive in time to the dock.

Without enough courage to say some more words, Violet left a letter on Powder's bed, along with the bunny plushie Violet always loved when she was younger. Then she walked into the kitchen, where Powder was sitting down, reading one of the many books Vi had brought her. "Take care Powpow, I promise I'll come back." Violet said softly, her voice cracking a little as she leaned and hugged Powder. Neither of them said goodbye, it was far too painful, and their silence already said it for them.

The small hug hurt like a hundred stabs to the heart, and after a small moment, Violet left the house for what she feared would be the last time. But first she had to sneak into Piltover one last time, her steps were almost rushed, time was short but she had to see Caitlyn one more time too, took whatever it took. For once it didn't matter if they got caught, Violet's steps became faster every second.

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The streets of Piltover were packed with people of high status, already crying or saying goodbye to whoever in their family was going to war, a brother, a father and though it was surely not something pretty to watch, Violet couldn't care less right now. While she took careful steps to sneak by the alley between the Kiramman manor and another place.

Violet sneaked into the Kiramman's garden without a second thought, removing the planks that covered her entrance carefully, and stepping into the garden as quietly as she could. Though the faint sound of grass and few sticks from the bushes under her boots made it a hard mission to not get caught, even less during the sunlight of the morning.

Vi looked up and sighed softly in relief when she saw Caitlyn sitting there. "It shall be well, Vi." Caitlyn said out loud without looking up from her book yet, not because she didn't wanted to look at Vi, but because she knew that if she did she would start crying. Violet walked closer to Caitlyn, her heart beating faster at every step she took and hugged her, the silence said more than a thousand words. "Take care of yourself, cupcake." Vi whispered, her thumb brushing Caitlyn’s cheek as if trying to memorize it, the soft feeling of Caitlyn's porcelain skin. Caitlyn’s lips trembled, she pressed her hand over Vi’s.

For a moment, Caitlyn tried to memorize every single detail of Vi's face, every single bit of it, Caitlyn's hand touched Vi's cheek and caressed it for a faint moment, as if trying to seal in her own mind the memory of Vi's face, Vi's soft skin, those cerulean blue eyes that always made Caitlyn’s heart race whenever she looked at them.

“And you too, my Violet,” she murmured, voice thin as a thread. They lingered, though footsteps approached—the hush between them heavy with all that could not be said. Caitlyn noticed how Vi didn't seemed to notice the steps, and gently tapped her back twice. "Vi... you gotta go, before someone sees us." Caitlyn warned as she could hear the steps approach the garden door. She didn't wanted Vi to go away, but if they got caught it would be worse than just war for both of them.

Vi sighed softly, her breath trembling. Her jaw clenched as she looked at Caitlyn, and saw the sadness mirrored in her eyes. "I love you, okay?" Violet said softly before turning around for a small moment, as if to make sure no one was coming, then focused on Caitlyn again. "I love you too." Caitlyn managed to choke out softly, her eyes filled with tears that she didn't wanted to spill yet. As Caitlyn watched Violet walk away, she wanted to tell her to stay, to scream, even plead for Violet to stay, though her lips betrayed her and kept her from saying another word.

Violet walked back to leave, and turned around to look at Caitlyn one more time, a servant stepped into the garden, but for once Violet didn't care and stayed there for a beat longer before leaving to go meet with the other recruits, something that didn't made her feel any better at all, she was going to meet with people that would probably die by her side.

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The small space near the Piltover's dock was filled of men who seemed either sad or excited for the war, Violet felt almost disgusted for many of them, and tried to keep her distance, she needed no one to sneak into her business, or find out that she was a girl.

The commander made them get in line, and walked by their side to count how many soldiers arrived, to make sure no one was missing like the letter they had sent a month ago had stated. The sound of boots against the hard pavement made Violet's body almost paralyzed out of nervousness and fear, which was something she often felt, but refused to show, even now.

As all men were standing in line, with Violet amongst them, they could all hear the choked sobs and cries from the families that had went there to drop one of their family members off. Violet couldn't help but search with her eyes, wondering if Caitlyn would be there.—Don't cry, don't say anything.—Violet scolded herself, but the moment was cut short.

"Your first duty as soldiers is charging the ship with everything we need. We'll sail as soon as that's done." The general commanded, his voice pierced through the tense atmosphere and had earned a silence that seemed almost deadly, from both recruits and families, each man went to help with it, not a single word of protest, at least not from the recruits who seemed to be from Piltover. Zaunites did murmured some stuff that Violet didn't even tried to figure out, she just straight up walked over to the boxes they had to carry.

No box that Violet had carried that day weighed more than the pain of leaving, that pain was far bigger than anything else to her right now. Every box seemed like sentencing herself to be away from what she knew and loved.—It's going to be a long time.—Violet thought as she braced herself for her journey, while she loaded another box into the ship.

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By the afternoon they were all sailing off to Noxus, Violet walked over to the ship's stern, and leaned againt the railing as she saw the Piltover's seashore fade as the ship went further into the cold and deep blue sea. Violet could almost swear she saw Caitlyn standing there into the dock, and it made her chest tighten in a mix of guilt, sadness and something she couldn't quite describe in words.

Since most men already had some duty, and Violet was done on hers, she went to a corner and sat there to write a letter, the first of many she would send to Caitlyn when they reached Noxus' seashore. Though it wasn't long before Violet was interrupted by the voice of someone. "Your watch begins, pinky." One of the men announced, the word "pinky" almost like a mocking nickname that Violet didn't liked at all. Violet looked up to him and rolled her eyes, walking over to the ladder and climbing up to take her place to guard for any imminent threats.

Upon reaching the top of the masthead, Violet was hit with the air of the sea, it was cold, but somehow it was tranquil, like if the sea knew that they were all sailing to their death and was granting them a moment of calm. And while standing there, and looking around from time to time to check for any dangers, Violet knew that a long time awaited her in the sea, especially now that she was supposed to pretend being a man every single day until either her life or war was over.

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As the dark of the night and the faint moonlight barely reflected against the surface of the sea, the wind seemed to get colder. Violet, who was currently getting off the masthead, sighed as she realized that most of the crew was asleep into the floor of the boat deck.

After walking around for a little while, and after noticing how much the boat was moving with each little wave, Violet decided to go and get sleep into the third deck bridge, she stepped there holding an oil fueled lamp, and noticing that no one was there, she went into a corner, sat down and leaned against the walls of the ship seeking some sort of warm comfort, and tried to get some rest, anything at all.

The noise of the boat deck during the night made Violet's sleep a little challenging, but overall she had managed to rest just fine, Zaun’s streets had always been loud during her childhood, so for once, noise wasn’t her biggest complaint.

Upon waking up for her next shift, Violet found herself growing progressively more uncomfortable regarding the mocking nickname everyone seemed to call her now, Pinky. Probably due to her hair color, which made Violet even more bothered, but at least no one seemed to notice she was a girl yet.

And for the rest of her journey on the sea, she made sure to write a letter for Caitlyn every single day, making sure to keep them hidden so no one would take them, and carefully tied them together so they would arrive as a small package.

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That amount of time was far different for Caitlyn, who wasn't able to approach the dock of Piltover to see Vi due to her classes, and she had no excuse to go to the dock as she would've loved to do. But she had kept thinking of the sweet memory of Vi sneaking in one last time to see her, it was almost like their childhood, when Violet first had started sneaking in.

Caitlyn grabbed the same book she had read during the morning, and walked over to the garden, sitting on the swing under her favorite tree like usual. She sighed as she heard the faint sound of the bushes and the leaves tremble because of the wind, and yet as she tried to focus on reading the book, her mind couldn't help drifting back to one of the first times Vi had sneaked into the garden, not long after Vander had finished his work on the Kiramman mansion.

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It was a warm autumn afternoon, when Caitlyn heard the faint sound of leaves cracking into the grass, that's she noticed Vi sneaking into the garden through a hole on the fence.

And though surprised, Caitlyn was amazed by the way Vi had managed to truly sneak in without getting caught yet. Even if this was a plan they both had managed during their last weeks together. A smile lit her face, her gapped teeth showing slightly as she waited for Vi to put the planks she had moved back in place to keep Caitlyn's dogs from going out.

Caitlyn knew about the hole on the fence because of her dogs, who often used to sneak out through that hole. And though Caitlyn’s parents had covered it with planks, during one of the last times Vander had to work, Vi had stolen a hammer to take out the some of the nails and make it easier to move the planks and sneak in.

While Vi had always been a smart and clever girl who didn't had any struggles on sneaking into almost any place without getting caught. And after Caitlyn had taught her the way towards the mansion, their plan to sneak Vi again into the Kiramman's mansion was assured. And just as planned, Vi surely was clever enough to go to Piltover, get into an alley and move the planks to sneak into the garden without anyone but Caitlyn noticing.

Caitlyn had gotten up from the swing and hugged Vi as soon as she could, with such affection, that for a second Vi was absolutely stunned, then she returned the hug and for a quiet moment, both girls were holding the other as if they hadn't seen each other in ages. For a moment the rest of the world seemed to fade into oblivion.

That evening, both girls had laughed and chatted together under the tree that held the swing they had spent so much time into, they had so much fun that they didn't even noticed when the night came, and they realized they had to say goodbye. "Awe, I don't want you to go yet." Caitlyn said while she held into Violet's arm, Vi had chuckled a little but anyone could tell she didn't wanted to leave either.

"I shall come back tomorrow." Vi had stated, and Caitlyn's eyes lit up, Caitlyn didn't had lots of friends, besides Jayce and eventually the daughters of some of her mother's friends. Vi saying that meant the world for Caitlyn. "Promise?" Caitlyn asked, her eyes still glowed with excitement, and the moonlight made them look like sapphires.

"I promise." Vi stated finally, before she got up and hugged Caitlyn for what felt like seconds, but were probably whole minutes. When they finally let each other go, Vi left quietly through the same hole in the fence, but left Caitlyn with amazing memories and a small drawing on one of the pages of the book she was reading, on page 6 exactly.

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Caitlyn smiled to herself with that memory, she could still treasured that day like one of the best days in her life, then she looked down to her book once again, it rested on her lap like a quiet reminder of every book she had read when meeting with Vi. Just then she noticed something peaking out of it, a small paper. Caitlyn pulled it gently just to find a letter, and realized Vi had probably snuck it in there during the morning when they were together.

Caitlyn held the letter carefully as she read the letter envelope, written in a beautiful cursive, it read: "For my dear cupcake." Caitlyn couldn't help chuckling softly as she read that, then turned the letter in her hands carefully and noticed it was sealed, she got up from the swing and went to her bedroom to open the letter.

The soft clicking sound of her heels fainted down the hall as Caitlyn walked into her bedroom, closing the door behind herself and going to her desk, she grabbed a letter opener, gently sliding the knife to open the carefully sealed letter. Upon opening it, the first thing that slid out was a little hairlock tied with a small ribbon, the pinkish color made it clear that it was Vi's hair.—What's this for?— Caitlyn wondered as she placed the small hairlock over her desk carefully, Caitlyn pulled out the letter just right after, in order to figure out why did Violet left her that.

April 27th 1850.
My dearest Caitlyn.

Even though we saw each other tonight, I couldn't help but write this letter to you, because there's a lot I want to say but we sadly have no time to do so. In case I don't return, I'll let you have three things of mine.

1.- I let you have this hairlock for your reliquary, I know its supposed to have a picture, but as we both know, I do not own the money to send you one.
2.- Every single penny I saved for our house together is under my bed, in jars. I know you don't need it, but if I don't return, you can have the money and run away to live your dream or do whatever you please If you cannot find them, ask Powder.
3.- I shall let you know, that my eternal devotion and love is for no one else but for you. And I promise you that I will return, no matter what it takes at all.
I will send you another letter as soon as I get to land.
Love.
Violet.

Upon Caitlyn finished reading the letter, her heart hammered against her chest in a mix of emotions she couldn't quite make out, she was excited to get a new letter, but those words also had tugged her heartstrings.

Caitlyn grabbed again the small hairlock, and pressed it softly against her lips for a small second, she could still smell the faint scent of coal and something sweet she couldn't quite make out, it was Vi's scent without any doubt, and Caitlyn hoped that the scent would stay until Violet was back.

With a careful movement, Caitlyn opened her reliquary, and slid the small hairlock in there, the small heart-shaped reliquary fit the hairlock perfectly fine, and kept it like it was made for it specifically. "I hope you are safe, Vi." Caitlyn said out loud, though it was mostly for herself, yet the small reliquary hanging close to her heart made her feel like Vi was there with her, even if it was not in the way Caitlyn wished it could be.

And though Caitlyn’s wish was to put the letter on a spot of her bedroom she could always see, she had to hide it if she wanted to keep her secret for a little longer. Caitlyn carefully folded the letter and walked over to her nightstand, carefully moving it away from the wall until a soft thud hit the floor.

Caitlyn carefully picked up the journal Violet had gifted her the night that she asked for her hand in marriage. Opened the pages with careful movements and slid the letter between the pages softly, closing the journal and pressing it gently to her chest for a second.—She'll be back safe.—Caitlyn assured herself, though a part of her heart didn't believe a single word of that.

Caitlyn held the journal for a beat longer before hiding it again behind her nightstand carefully, then she got up and let herself drop softly against her bed, and though her corset pressed Caitlyn’s chest tight, Caitlyn's heart drummed against her ribs so hard that Caitlyn thought her corset might un-do because of it.

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And as the dim light of the moon sneaked in through Caitlyn's balcony, Caitlyn laid in bed one hand holding her heart-shaped reliquary softly, the small hairlock of Vi's hair carefully tucked inside of it. Caitlyn couldn't help looking over to her balcony, as if a part of her believed that Vi would show up, though that wasn't possible.—But she will write me letters.—Caitlyn told herself and a faint smile tugged her lips to the knowledge that she was going to get a letter soon, or so she hoped. It wasn't the best of comforts but it soothed her battered soul ever so slightly.

And so Caitlyn slowly drifted asleep, holding her reliquary as if to feel closer to Vi somehow, hoping that wherever Vi was she was safe, and hopefully not having that much of an awful time.

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The next days on the ship weren't any easier for Violet, even less when trying not to get caught, when hiding to use the bathroom, or at the end of the day, when her chest ached because of having those bandages pressing against her chest so tightly every single hour of the day.

The constant vigilance to not get caught had Violet exhausted every single night, luckily, Violet had found herself a rather nice space on a corner of the third bridge of the deck. The corner was rather hidden, so Violet could undo her bandages sometimes, and the sea breeze couldn't quite reach that corner that well, so it was warm, almost like a safe spot for Violet at least during those rough days of navigating the sea.

Though one particular night was the hardest of all, what had started as light rain had turned into a storm in just a matter of minutes. The whole crew was making sure that everything was secured, when lightning struck waves right besides the ship.

The waves surged stronger each time, and the oil lamps swung wildly with the wind, barely clinging to their hooks, while the ship started to move from side to side, making it so hard to keep the balance. The storm had seemed to get stronger, and with each second it was more violent. And Violet who was still on the masthead, was holding on for dear life, about to go down since their command was to get safe.

She had managed to get off the masthead, clinging to the ladder until reaching the main deck, she noticed how at least two men had slipped through the railing of the ship and had fallen into the cold sea disappearing between the giant waves and into the darkness of the sea.

Violet watched in horror as another man slipped and fell into the void of the sea, who seemed like their worst enemy at the time. Violet had tried to rush into the third bridge of the deck, but on the last few steps she slipped and fell, the movement of the boat dragged her against the railing.

Violet's back hit the railing so violently that for a second Violet thought it would break. She took a sharp breath out of the sudden pain, yet her hands reached to grab the railing of the deck like a lifeline, hoping that it would hold her and keep her from falling.

Panic settled in while Violet tried to get up again, the ship movement didn't help at all, and then a man slipped right by Violet's side. "Please help me!" The man pleaded while Violet offered him a hand, but the rain and the constant movement of the ship made it useless for Violet to try to help. The man slipped from Violet's grip and fell into the cold water, the darkness of the sea engulfed the man while Violet stared and realized that she could be next if she didn't hurry.

And though guilt was eating her alive, she managed to reach the third bridge of the deck safely, she leaned against the wall of the deck, her breath was ragged, the water of the rain had soaked every single piece of Violet's clothing, but none of that mattered for Violet right now. Who had to hide and sob quietly out of fear and guilt, it was almost like her sadness was choking her, drowning her to death.

Violet sobbed and cried herself to sleep that night, not even minding how cold she was, she sat there by an oil lamp, sobbing and hugging her own legs to her chest. The memories of Powder's laugh or Caitlyn’s soft embrace made Violet feel even more empty and lonely. Every single feeling was catching up on her, and the loud sound of the storm and the sea had hidden her suffering from the other men in the crew.

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It was a whole week and a half before Violet reached Noxus' seashore, every single day on the ship had felt like forever for Violet, but she had kept her promise and wrote Caitlyn a letter every single day of that week and a half.

As they arrived to the seashore, they had to unload the ship, box by box of everything they could use for war, that's when reality sank in, especially when they had to walk and make their way to their first trench, upon realizing what this all meant, Violet's chest tightened, and her body felt weak, and not only because she had been carrying boxes for the past three hours or so.

The single swirl of fear mixed with anxiety made Violet trip over herself, and almost drop one of the boxes she was carrying. "Woah, careful." A deep yet calm voice said, when Violet looked up she had to blink a few times, it was a tall man, probably not past his mid-thirties, and he looked so much like Vander. "Yeah. Sure." Violet managed to state, her voice a little lower than she intended.

Violet's heart clenched as she turned to see the man again, she never realized how alike he looked to Vander, and it only made the guilt inside Violet's chest grow, not only because of leaving him but for lying to him. And Violet knew Powder would lie to him too, tell him that she was at work. The guilt made Violet's steps uneasy for a moment as she dropped another box by the trench side.

"This one is food." She stated, her voice firm and a little deeper than usual, to make it look like she was actually a man. Then she turned over her heel and went back to get more boxes, though the sight of the tall robust man still haunted Violet's mind. It was like the universe had sent her a signal, but Violet couldn't figure out if it was a good signal or not.

The next hours were more of the same, carrying boxes, dropping them by the trench and repeat. That until Violet noticed the tent that had the postal office symbol on it, it was almost like a reward for her to know that she could get to send her beloved the letters she promised, after a whole week and a half without any contact, it had felt like forever for Violet. And probably for Caitlyn too.

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As soon as her duty time was over, and the tent of the postal office was open, Violet went inside of it, and pulled out from her jacket the small pack of letters, exactly eleven letters counting today's letter. "Will they reach their destination soon?" Violet asked. "A week and a half or so." The man across the table stated, Violet nodded and without another word said and after she made sure her letters were carefully placed aside to send, and then quietly left to go have her dinner after a long day.—Maybe not everything is as bad.—Violet convinced herself as she stood in line for her food.

As soon as Violet got her food, she went to an isolated spot to eat, she didn't care to socialize with no one in there. She sat alone on a side of the trech, taking in the sight of the trench that would likely be her new place to rest in for a while. "Looking for a new spot to sleep?" A deep voice asked, and Violet knew that voice from somewhere. As soon as Violet looked up she met eyes with the same tall and robust guy as before.

"As we all should." Violet stated with a dry voice, she didn't even tried to look again at the tall guy, he reminded her too much of Vander. And deep inside Violet knew that if she was too emotional it would be her whole downfall.

"I see." The man replied quietly, he sat by Violet's side and took a small breath. "Even so. Its not good that you eat alone." The man stated with such calm that Violet stopped moving for a small second, this man was so much like Vander that it hurt.

Violet had considered standing up and leaving, but something in her heart kept her sitting there like if the roots of the few plants on the ground had trapped her there. As they ate quietly, the hush between them felt like some sort of understanding, something Violet didn't knew she needed, but soothed her somehow.

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Upon the day came to an end, Violet was still working on moving boxes around, her muscles were already sore and her eyes felt heavy with exhaustion, and she couldn't help looking up at the dark sky of the night. The midnight blue of it reminded her part of who she did this whole thing for.

"Keep going kiddo." The voice of that same man came up again, it was unusual. Violet couldn't quite tell why did this man talked to her with such calm, her defensas were still up high, but she nodded firmly, after all, she couldn't blow her cover so easily.

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The same quiet night was far oposite for Caitlyn, who had stayed up late too, sitting in the swing in the garden for a little longer than usual. "Caitlyn its almost midnight." Caitlyn’s mother stated, her voice firm and hinted a bit of reproach.

Caitlyn sighed and stood up, walking quietly inside of the mansion and heading towards her bedroom with her head low and though she looked absent minded, her mind was racing in thoughts of Violet.—What if she doesn't come back?—Caitlyn wondered as she slid into her bed quietly, she shook her head for a moment.—No. She will come back, she promised.—

Caitlyn assured herself for a little longer, before she grabbed one of her pillows, hugging it to fall asleep, while her reliquary pressed against her chest, as a subtle reminder of Violet's promises and the letters to arrive. Caitlyn couldn't help but also be excited for those, she yearned for knowing how was Violet doing, was she doing alright? Would she have any good news? Questions filled Caitlyn's mind as she tried to drift to sleep, though she turned around to look over to the glass door of her balcony.

Caitlyn could faintly see the dim light of the moon and the stars, and it warmed her heart somehow, as if her heart knew that even when being away, Violet would stare at the same sky as Caitlyn, and that made her feel closer to her. And so to the beautiful sight of the starts through the glass door of Caitlyn's balcony, the midnight blue-haired girl drifted asleep.

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On the other hand, Violet didn't had much of a comfortable space to sleep, but still looked up to the moon and the starts, the only beautiful view on the trench to be honest, and the only thing that made her feel closer to Caitlyn now.

Violet's eyelids started flutering closed, while her breath slowed a little, she had to get a lot of rest now, before the worst could come. Both girls hoped to see eachother on their dreams at least, the stars were the only ones that allowed them a couple of moments together until distance could no longer tear them apart.

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Chapter Text

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A couple of days after arriving their trench, while the moonlight was about to reach its highest point in the dark blue sky and the faint smell of the oil lamps filled the air of the trench. "Six men have to go explore the surroundings, we gotta make a strategy." The commander announced while staring at the bunch of soldiers that were currently standing in line.

As said, six soldiers including Violet were currently walking on the dusty terrain of Noxus', the faint sound of their steps was the only noise besides the small sound of the flame on the oil lamp they were given. The dusty terrain wasn't really covered, it was risky to be there on plain sight, only hidden by the shadows of the night.

"We could put some tents here. Seems safe enough." One of the soldiers announced, the others denied silently. "Too risky." One of them stated, and signaled with his hand for them to continue their way with careful steps, making sure to be alert for any enemy camps or traps.

Upon reaching the mountains, they explored the surroundings for a small moment, stating that it would be a good place to set their next trench, due to the passage-like style of the mountains, they couldn't be attacked by surprise. "We shall go back to the trench." One of the soldiers said, Violet and the rest agreed silently.

They barely managed to take a few steps when a gunshot cut through the air and landed right on the soldier walking by Violet's side, the soldier barely had time to look down before he received at least three more gunshots right on his chest. The soldier that held the oil lamp started running to get back to the trench and try to warn the others, but it was far too late for them.

The sound of many gunshots filled the air, Violet got down on the floor along with two other soldiers, but while Violet stayed by the side of the injured soldier, the others tried to move and sneak away. It wasn't long before more gunshots filled the air, everyone but Violet had gotten shot, they were bleeding out on the ground.

"Go inspect, none of them should be alive." One of the enemies shouted, Violet looked down and out of instinct she covered herself in the blood of the other soldiers, and laid on the ground along with the others, the puddles of blood on the ground stained Violet's attire further, and she held her breath the best she could while the enemy soldier walked closer to them to inspect the bodies, and make sure none of them was alive.

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The Kiramman mansion's quiet had been interrupted by the sound of Caitlyn’s heels rushing to the living room, she had never been one to check the mail unless her mother asked her to. That until Vi had gone to war.

"Miss Kiramman, this is for you." One of the housemaids said quietly, while handing Caitlyn a small pack of eleven letters carefully stacked together and tied with a string, the scent of the sea salt still on the letters envelopes. "Thank you kindly." Caitlyn had replied before grabbing the letters carefully and reading the letter envelope of the letter at the top. "From: Violet Lanes." It read. Caitlyn's heart fluttered in her chest when she read it.

"Caitlyn, sit down with me to check the mail." Caitlyn’s mother, Cassandra, spoke softly, with that controles voice that made it clear that there was no room for discussion, Caitlyn would have to wait to read what Vi had written on those eleven letters. "Yes mother." Caitlyn said then, before carefully sitting by Cassandra's side and looking at the many letters displayed on the coffee table of their living room.

Every single letter felt like a whole eternity to listen to for Caitlyn, who could only think about the letters Vi had sent her, excited to read each one of them, Caitlyn could only nod and try to follow her mother's pace when checking each letter that informed about new politics on Piltover, as well as a bare description of the war, which Cassandra read silently before discarding the letter.

As the final letter was discarded, Caitlyn was quick to stand up and start walking to her bedroom. "Caitlyn." Cassandra's voice interrupted, Caitlyn's breath caught for a moment. "Yes, mother?" Caitlyn asked as she quietly turned around, her lips had a faint smile that couldn't just seem to fade from her lips.

"Who sent you those letters?" Cassandra asked then. "Do you have any suitors to be your future husband?" Caitlyn's mother added, her voice tinged with a hint of something that seemed quite like excitement. "Just letters from Jayce, mother. He's telling me about his new proyect." Caitlyn stated, knowing well that her mother did supported Jayce but did not cared not tried to mind any of Jayce's proyects. "Oh. Okay then." Cassandra said, her voice dropping to her firm tone again quickly, as if even the slightest hope for Caitlyn having a suitor had faded into oblivion once again.

Caitlyn didn't said another word and retreated to her bedroom quietly, though her steps were a little faster than usual. Upon closing the door behind herself, Caitlyn walked over to her desk and carefully undid the tie that kept the letters together. Then checking them by date. "May 8th, may 7th, may 6th..." Caitlyn murmured to herself, as she gently placed aside the letters in cronological order.

Once she was holding the first letter, Caitlyn cut it open softly and slid the letter out, she unfolded the soft paper and took a small breath before she started reading.

April 29th,1850.
My dearest Caitlyn.

Its only been a day since we haven't seen eachother, yet it feels like whole weeks for me. The sea is surprisingly tranquil, in other circumstances you would love it to be here, the soft sway of the ship is soothing at times.
At night I got to find a good place to sleep, maybe not as fancy but it's still comfortable and I have a nice view. I see you in the midnight blue sky of the night when I'm on guard.

Anyways all that's to say. I hope you found the letter I snuck into your book and I hope your day's been good cupcake.
Love.
Violet.

Caitlyn smiled upon finishing the letter, though it was a bittersweet feeling, she was glad that Violet could at least have a place to rest during night time. The bright sunlight of the morning warmed up Caitlyn's bedroom, while Caitlyn opened letter after letter, and read them with the same enthusiasm, oblivious to the rough nights Vi had during the storms.

Within finishing the last letter, Caitlyn sighed softly, her heart finally felt a little more tranquil, and her breath steadied, Vi was okay. With a contented smile, Caitlyn folded every letter and saved them carefully on a drawer on her vanity.

Then she grabbed her steel dip pen, a small container with ink and some sheets of paper, she sat down on her vanity desk and started writing her reply to Violet's letters, her writing was careful, Caitlyn’s hand moved swiftly with eased practice, her words looked more carefully written than Violet's, though Caitlyn blamed that on the constant sway of the ship.

The hours passed by while Caitlyn wrote down quite a long letter, more than one page could fit into the same letter envelope. When Caitlyn was finally done, she carefully sealed the letter envelopes with the wax of a candle, pressing the symbol of the Kiramman's over the hot wax with a seal. The front of the letter envelope read:

For: Violet Lanes, The Progress Battalion 5th Regiment, c/o Army Post Office, Western Front Piltover Forces.

Caitlyn softly tied a string around the small pack of letters to keep them together, once she was done she stood up and went to her living room to call one of the servants in the manor. "Take this to the postal office." Caitlyn commanded, her voice firm but polite overall. She handed the servant the pack of letters carefully and covered the name and adress of the letter with her hand softly.

"Make sure not to read any of them, just make sure they send them." Caitlyn stated then, and the servant nodded in complicity. Caitlyn watched the servant leave to the post office, and returned to her bedroom quietly, it was already noon by now, Caitlyn had to get ready for her classes.

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The firm steps on the ground made Violet's heart race, the still warm blood of the other soldiers stained Violet's clothes and her skin, it was still warm. Violet closed her eyes and laid there, one of the soldiers bodies was over Violet's stomach.

Violet's breaths were slow, careful almost as the enemy soldier walked closer to them with an oil lamp in hand. When the steps felt dangerously closed Violet held her breath back, stayed still, not even a single muscle of hers flexed.

"Are you sure they're dead?" One of the enemy soldiers asked, the other nodded. "Pretty sure, look." The other soldier replied and kicked the body that was on top of Violet. Violet didn't even flinch, mostly because she knew that if she moved one single muscle she was surely dead. "This one looks weak." A soldier commented while looking over to Violet.

"Yeah, pretty sure we shot him just twice and he fell." The enemy soldier said, before he kicked Violet's leg, Violet didn't made a movement but the kick did hurt her, the pain was sharp but she didn't wanted to move not even a milimeter. "Go look for the others, we can take their stuff." The enemy soldier said with a voice that showed even a hint of enthusiasm.

"Fine, stay here though, make sure that none of them is faking." The other soldier replied and walked away to their camp. The soldier that did stayed started walking around, holding his gun while he eventually would turn to look at the bodies. "Ugh, smells awful." The soldier commented and turned around, Violet quietly moved her hand until she reached the handle of her war knife, her grip tight around it.

While the enemy soldier took a few steps back, Violet got up and quietly approached the enemy, before covering his mouth and slitting his throat open, the blood trickled out at first then came out almost like a fountain, the enemy soldier couldn't even try to scream.

Violet dragged him back until dumping him along with the deceased bodies of Violet's colleagues, covering the slit throat with the arm of one of the deceased guys, Violet then placed her knife back in the pocket of her belt, and grabbed the oil lamp that laid on the floor now.

Without looking back, and while her breath was starting to increase with each second, Violet had to run back to the trench on her own now, to warn the rest of the soldiers and the general that there was a camp, that they were ambushed, and that probably they would have to prepare for a battle tomorrow.

Violet lost track of time while running, but upon reaching the trench she ran into the same guy who sat to have dinner with her the other day, probably it was his turn to guard the trench. "Woah, are you injured? What happened?" The big man asked, looking down to Violet who was covered in blood, and her face seemed shocked enough to warn anyone that she saw something horrible.

Violet's mouth moved for a second, like if she was trying to find the words, the fear and guilt reflected in her eyes. "There's a camp. They're close." Violet stated finally, her voice firm and low, since she forced herself keep her facade even over this. The big man took Violet to the general's tent, so they could report what happened, they stepped into the tent firmly, though Violet could barely speak.

As Violet's breath was still ragged, she managed to look up to the general, who was sitting in his desk, maps splayed across the table with many lines of strategy. "Permission to speak, sir." Violet said firmly, her mind raced in panic over what she had just witnessed and what she had done in order to survive, she could still feel the now dry blood on her hands and her body.

"Report." Was all the answer Violet got, before she could start speaking again, Violet's hands fisted as she started to speak: "Sir, we were ambushed about a mile away from the mountains. Noxian soldiers opened fire against us and ended up killing the rest of my troop." Violet explained firmly, not even a single hitch in her voice, though a lump formed on her throat to the fresh memory of what just happened to her. Violet's fists tightened ever so slightly due to the tension.

For a moment the silence was the only thing that filled the tent, none of them dared to speak, the general was quiet for a second. "Corporal Loris, return to your post." The general stated, without even looking up from his paperwork. After Loris left, the general added: "This is grave news. You did well to return with your report. Now tell me everything you saw, in detail, starting from the moment you were ambushed." Violet swallowed thick for a moment, and even when her heart drummed against her ribs, she started to tell what she had witnessed.

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Violet was able to return to the trench a while after, she couldn't sleep, she couldn't even close her eyes without seeing again the awful scenario she had just went through. She decided to write, she needed to get that guilt out somehow, the lump in her throat was almost making her nauseous by now. And for at least and hour or so, Violet spent her time writing letters.

The sun wasn't yet up when all the soldiers including Violet were called and were currently standing in line. "We're gonna put you all in position for war. Today might be out first battle and I want you all to be right on line." The general said as he firmly marched from side to side. "Understood?" He added then. "Sir, yes sir!" The soldiers chanted in chorus, Violet included, and even though she had washed the blood off she swore she could still feel it in her hands.

During the next hours all they did was get ready for the imminent battle, Violet ended up on second line of attack, as she held the gun in her hands, she couldn't help but think of Caitlyn, and the way she had taught her how to shoot properly. —It'll be over soon.— Violet convinced herself, as she loaded the gun and heard their general command them to get in place.

As the sun began to rise, the Noxian soldiers were ready too, and that's when in the middle of a quiet sunrise, the battle drums made it clear that it was time to fight. Violet took a deep breath, the drums of battle so loud she could almost feel them beat inside of her own body. And when it was their turn to shoot, all Violet could ever think of was that she had to survive, no matter what.

The battle lasted more than any unexperienced soldier would have expected, the incessant beat of drums, the sound of gunshots and the sounds of men who got injuried were something that stuck with everyone in there.

It wasn't until sunset that finally the drums rolled and beated with the rhythm that announced "Cease fire." The soldiers from Violet's side retreated, and Violet helped with the injured men, they counted the deceased, there weren't many, but it was still bad.

When the moonlight had already rised and the stars sparkled in the sky, Violet sat down by the trench to eat her dinner, though this time when Loris sat down by her side she wasn't as distant as a few days ago. "Thanks." Violet said, before she started eating, her manners were messy, but not that it mattered when being in the army amongst that many men.

Loris though surprised, limited to smile a little. "No worries kiddo." He said with his usual deep tranquil voice that reminded Violet of Vander. And though neither of them spoke another word, the quietness between them showed respect and maybe a blooming friendship even amongst the awful war.

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Caitlyn's days were far different from Violet's, and while Violet experienced the harsh reality of war, Caitlyn experienced a silent grief that she couldn't quite describe.

The silent afternoons in the Kiramman mansion never felt more empty for Caitlyn before. Caitlyn sat on the table with her mother and father as always, the spark in her eyes had faded ever so slightly since she got Violet's letter now a few days ago. The clink of the silverware filled the room while Caitlyn sipped quietly on her cup of tea and stared at the bread without any interest.

"Caitlyn, are you sure you wish to skip your meal?" Cassandra's voice broke the silence before adding; "If you grow too thin, it will going to be hard for you to carry children when you're married." Cassandra stated calmly. Caitlyn's stomach churned uncomfortably to that, she wasn't sure if it was disgust to the idea of having a husband that ought to reduce her to a baby machine—or maybe real hunger.

Caitlyn stayed quiet for a beat longer than she usually did, while sipping on tea once again, the lump in her throat warned her she was not nearly hungry. "No thanks, mother." Caitlyn said finally, though her words were almost choked out, the awful feeling of emptiness that had started as small was now crawling up Caitlyn's throat and awfully choking her during these days.

Upon finishing their meal, Caitlyn stood up quietly, her posture perfect as usual though it seemed tiring to keep it up today. Caitlyn walked over to the library in the manor, chose a book and quietly walked to the garden, taking a seat on the swing as usual.

And though Caitlyn had her book open, and held it carefully on her hands, she wasn't interested on any of the words on the book, it seemed plain, boring almost, Caitlyn couldn't seem to find any joy in reading today. —I'm just tired.— Caitlyn told herself, as she sat there in the quiet night.

The soft weight of Caitlyn’s reliquary was a constant reminder of Vi, of the letters, and Caitlyn couldn't help wondering about what was Vi doing, she looked up at the sky as if looking for any hint of an answer, it was a silly thought but Caitlyn could almost swear she saw the word "Vi" among the stars.

She looked down at her book again, and tried to focus on reading again. The quiet of the night was interrupted by the sound of planks moving. Caitlyn’s heart skipped a beat when she heard that, her head lifted quicker than she could even think, and for a split of a second she swore she saw her.

Caitlyn could swear to her life that she had seen Vi with her back against the corner of the manor, that quiet smile on her lips as if she had stolen the world. And Caitlyn's heart tightened when she realized it wasn't what she thought, there was no one there.

Caitlyn's fingers tightened around the book she was still holding, closing it softly as a feeling Caitlyn couldn't quite describe made her chest feel something like a numb pain, like it tightened so much that it felt numb. Not a single tear ran down Caitlyn's cheeks nor filled her eyes, Caitlyn felt absolutely numb, and it stung so uncomfortably in her heart.

As the soft breeze of spring shook the leaves of the bushes and trees, Caitlyn could almost hear the faint laugh of Vi, the laugher and joy that once filled Caitlyn's heart and the garden, faded leaving a hollow space that nothing seemed to quite fill.

Caitlyn felt too tired to keep reading, so she took a deep breath and stood up, holding the book close to her chest as she walked inside the manor once again. And yet Caitlyn was met with the feeling that every hall was too large, she climbed the stairs one by one, as the reliquary that stayed close to her chest seemed to feel heavier around her neck. No amount of sleep could make this tiredness go away so easily.

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The days weren’t getting any easier for Violet either. Every single day she made sure to write Caitlyn a letter, no matter how tired she felt. She didn’t skip a single day of the week, always sending Caitlyn a bundle of letters by the week’s end.

A week and a half had passed since their first battle, and finally they were moving into another trench, they needed to progress on their location in order to surprise the Noxian soldiers and get bigger chances to win. The weight of the boxes made Violet's muscles burn with exertion, but anything seemed better than being on the battlefield again.

As the sun began to lower in the sky and the warm evening filled with the smell of their food, it wasn't pleasant but for most Zaunite soldiers it was better than starving, including Violet. All soldiers began to gather to get their ration of food, some groans and murmurs could be heard as the food was served.

Violet as usual retreated to a quiet space along with Loris, as they both ate and chattered slightly, they had grown a little closer after a few days, Violet trusted him enough to not push him away. Though their conversation was disrupted by the loud noise of many soldiers gathering together and making jokes or groaning because someone pushed them.

"What's this about?" Violet asked as both her and Loris stood up and made their way over to the crowd of soldiers, that's when they realized that the sargent was announcing the letters that had arrived and was calling the soldiers by name.

"Ayee, here comes Pinky, he must get at least one letter if he writes that much every night." One of the soldiers said, though his words weren't bitter but yet seemed mocking, almost like he was expecting that Violet didn't get any letters so they could make fun of her for it.

And as the sargent called more names out and handed them a letter or two, a hint of hope crept into Violet's heart, a small flame that seemed to warm up Violet's skin ever so slightly. But as more of the letter envelopes found other's soldiers hands, that flame of hope started wavering.

"Lanes. One letter" The sargent announced finally. It took Violet a second to realize it was her "name", the letter was for her, she hadn't signed up under any name, just Lanes. As Violet made her way to get her letter, her heartbeat raced a little more.

Her heartbeat quickened as she took the letter, holding it as if it were the most precious thing she’d ever owned. She ignored the murmurs and laughter from the others as she rejoined Loris, a faint smile tugging at her lips. Since the daylight was quickly fading, Violet tucked the letter in her uniform pocket, carefully.

Loris had also gotten a letter. But same as Violet, Loris kept it to himself, while other soldiers would brag about getting a letter or about the girls they had managed to pull, Violet was quietly contented with getting a letter from Caitlyn, even the smallest sign made Violet's week get better.

Violet couldn't care less about the other soldiers now, the letter tucked in her uniform made it all worth it for a moment, it was a warm feeling that soothed her battered soul for a while.

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Later that same night, Violet sat on a quiet space of the trench, by the side of an oil lamp, and she pulled the letter out of her pocket, the feeling of the letter envelope felt like a spark of hope in her hands. Violet could swear she could smell the faint scent of Caitlyn’s perfume.

The soft scent of the perfume made Violet's heart tighten slightly, Violet opened the letter envelope, and pulled out the letter carefully, noticing quickly it was more than just one in the same letter envelope.—Smart girl.—Violet thought as she smiled to herself, it was true that one letter might reach her faster than sending two or even more.

As she unfolded the papers carefully, the faint scent of the oil lamp seemed to fade along with the uncomfy feeling of sitting on the trench. Violet's heart felt somehow comforted when she started reading the letter.

May 16th, 1850
My Dearest Violet,

As soon as I received your letters, my heart was filled with joy, I am very glad you managed to get yourself a comfortable spot on the ship, I hope that you shall find someone nice so you're not alone during these hard times.
My week has been fine, as usual I have classes and avoid my mother's offers for balls, if I could only confess to her that my heart belongs to you instead of any man she introduces me to.
Even so, I still wait for you every single evening at the garden.
I thank you for the letter you left for me on my book. Though after careful thought, I believe your sister ought to use the money. As you always said, she is brilliant and deserves a good future; I promise that it shall serve either our love or her well-being.
Ever yours,
Caitlyn.

As Violet finished reading the letter, her heart hammered against her ribs, while her eyes filled with tears for a second, not only because Caitlyn is such a thoughtful person to want to give Powder the money, but also because Violet missed both Caitlyn and her sister more than anything in this life.

Violet's heart ached to the "I still wait for you in the garden every evening." Line, Violet wished she could be there, that she could hug Caitlyn again, or see Powder again and laugh with her while teaching her the few french she picked up from Caitlyn.

Violet took a shaky breath and began reading the rest of the letters, a faint smile touching her lips with each one. She could almost hear Caitlyn’s voice as she read; the quiet of the trench was nothing like the silence they once shared. That silence had been warm, alive — this one was cold and empty.

Upon finishing reading, Violet decided to write the last letter of the week right now. And when she was done, she folded each letter carefully and slid them into one single letter envelope, hoping it would arrive as fast as Caitlyn's letters reached her.

A few minutes later, she left the envelope at the post tent and headed off for her guard shift. Tonight she would share duty with Loris — a small mercy.

"One letter today? Thought you sent 7 letters per week kiddo." Loris said as he saw Violet, Violet just smiled a little. “New trick,” Violet replied softly.

Then they began their watch in the still, uneasy dark. The shift was long and tiring, but as Violet finally drifted to sleep later that night, she knew every ache was worth it — if it meant dreaming of Caitlyn, even for a few hours.

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And though Violet did get at least an hour of sleep, soon her slumber was disrupted by the general's shouting and the unmistakable sound of gunfire, Violet was shook awake only to grab her gun and run to her position. The letters she had received yesterday still tucked in her pocket – a lifeline, as a reminder for why she was fighting.

As Violet stumbled into the barely warm dawn the trench was already chaos itself, men shouting over the thunder-like sound of muskets, the smell of gunpowder in the air made Violet's throat burn. Violet reached her position on the front line and crouched behind a mud wall while the sound of gunshots got louder every second.

"Hold your fire until the enemy is close!" The sergeant commanded, but fear had already took a toll on many of the young soldiers, who were either paralized or dropped their gun because of how bad their hands trembled. One of them fired his gun by accident, and while he reloaded, Violet tried to focus, to stay calm.

Violet's palms were sweaty, the smoke in the air burned her eyes and made it awfully dificult to see, and while Violet steadied the now familiar weight of the rifle, she could make out the figured of Noxian soldiers, like shadows in the mist, it was almost like seeing death come right at her.

And once the Noxian soldiers were close enough, Violet's grip on her rifle tightened ever so slightly, she took a small breath like Caitlyn had taught her.

She fired.

She didn't even took the time to look at whoever the bullet hit, she couldn't bear thinking she hurt someone else, but the feeling of guilt didn't shook away so quickly.

Just as she was reloading she looked up just to see Loris dragging away an injured soldier, but Noxian soldiers were getting closer. "Loris!" Violet shouted as she noticed, and didn't hesitate too much before getting up and sprinting towards while firing another round, hoping to shoot enough Noxian soldiers to buy them some time.

But then her rifle jammed, Violet cursed under her breath as she noticed and with shaky hands started to fix it, while Loris tried his best to drag away the soldier a little faster, to help Violet. When Violet looked up again she noticed how much closer Noxian soldiers were. "Shit." She muttered to herself as she felt the same fear of the night her troop was ambushed.

The world seemed to stop for a second, she couldn't help thinking about Powder, her laughter, the sweet moments they both had together, despite the lack of money they had so many precious moments. Then Caitlyn, Violet could remember every single one of their evenings together, the soft weight of Caitlyn’s letters in her pocket seemed a little heavier now, as if that was grounding her to reality again.

And when a Noxian soldier was too close to her, her body moved on its own, maybe it was for survival, Violet wasn't really sure, but she grabbed her war knife and stabbed the Noxian in the shoulder, then grabbed her rifle and tried to get up and run back, another soldier pulled her back and tried to stab her, Violet barely dodged the knife, and feeling death so close made Violet feel some sort of rage against the soldier.

—None of this men will keep me from seeing my sister and my wife again.— Violet thought, and managed to turn them around, she stabbed the soldier in the neck, and without a second thought she started fighting the other soldiers that tried to approach her.

Blood stained her uniform, she could feel the warm liquid in her hands again, and as much as it disgusted her – She didn't want to kill, she wasn't ready to do so, but it was the only way to survive, and she wasn't willing to die there.

Loris finally had managed to drag the soldier to a safe zone, while Violet was now fighting with men that were even taller than her, and stabbing them as if it was nothing. Violet felt sick to her stomach every time she dug that knife inside of the soldiers with trembling hands. —If I don't do this neither my Powpow or Cait will ever know what happened to me until this is over.— Violet told herself, and that feeling fueled her will to do anything to return.

Even if the smoke made her eyes burn and turn red, even if bullets passed by her side and grazed her uniform, Violet wasn't going to stand there and die. Some young soldiers stayed in their position out of fear, some got shot and kept fighting.

No one could win in war, but everyone had a reason to live for there, and most of them weren't willing to die in there.

────•⋅⊰༻♥︎༺⊱⋅•────

The days passed and Caitlyn hadn't yet got a letter in reply to the ones she had sent, it started to make Caitlyn nervous. Until she decided to go out on her own, not a word to either of her parents. —They're too busy to find out.— Caitlyn told herself as she stepped into the post office.

And though she didn't quite get an answer at first, she wasn't going to stand there and wait for anything else to happen, the lack of letters made Caitlyn fear the worst. "Excuse me. I would like to know when are the letters from The Progress Battalion are going to arrive." Caitlyn stated firmly to the man standing behind the counter, then placing a small letter envelope on the table and sliding it across the counter.

"If I get any useful information this money shall be yours." Caitlyn stated now firmly, the uncertainty and doubt pushed her to this, she was going to push anyone if needed just to get answers. "The letters are delayed because of a storm. They shall arrive within three days." The man behind the counter said then, and tried to slide his hand over Caitlyn's hand to get the letter envelope.

Caitlyn grabbed the letter envelope and yanked her hand away in disgust. "How cheeky." Caitlyn stated with disgust, and slid just one small part of the money over to the counter. Without waiting for another word Caitlyn walked out of the post office, a sick feeling curling into her stomach.

Upon arriving the mansion once again, Caitlyn was greeted by one of the housemaids, who handed her an open letter. "It arrived this way Miss Kiramman." The housemaid explained, Caitlyn thanked her quietly and walked over to her bedroom again with the letter in her hand.

Caitlyn sat before her vanity once again, and took a small breath when she opened the letter, expecting it to be censored. But it was unmistakable that the envelope read "Lanes." And that word alone made Caitlyn’s heart start racing.

Caitlyn opened the letter and was surprised to see it wasn't censored, though the paper was slightly wrinkled, the letter was fine.

May 10th, 1850
My Dearest Caitlyn.

As much as I would love to always send you positive updates, tonight was awful. After being sent to explore the surroundings my troop and I were ambushed. I'm fine, you don't have to worry about it.
I ought to inform you that some letters may take a while arriving, we're changing locations and it shall take a while longer for the letters to reach Piltover.
I hope you have a great week whenever you read this, I miss you and I dream of you every night.
Love,
Violet.

Caitlyn's hands trembled when she read that Violet had been ambushed, and though Violet had assured her she was okay, it did little to soothe Caitlyn's worry. – Violet was in danger at absolutely every second and Caitlyn was powerless about it.

Not long after that, while Caitlyn was going downstairs she heard her mother in the living room, likely talking to Caitlyn's father. "Says here that there was another battle on the Noxus seashore." Cassandra commented with almost no emotion, while for Caitlyn, listening to that was like a bucket of cold water. "They need more strategy or else they're all going to be dead within September." Cassandra said then, flatly, while Caitlyn's heart tightened to that statement.

Caitlyn returned to her bedroom without a second thought, and grabbed the letter once again, as if it could change its words, if it could tell Caitlyn that Violet was alive and well. All Caitlyn had was the date – A quiet proof that by May 10th Violet had been alive and well.

The quiet of Caitlyn’s bedroom made her feel ill, it felt so loud without anyone else there. It was part of why Caitlyn loved Vi – It was because Caitlyn was used to be alone and quiet but with Vi there, quietness no longer felt overwhelming or loud. "I really hope you're okay." Caitlyn said out loud as she held the letter carefully.

During dinner Caitlyn barely touched her food – Neither of her parents seemed to quite notice, both were too busy or absorted in their own world. The silence pressed heavier today, and Caitlyn wasn't sure if she was hungry or simply hollow.

Caitlyn always thought that eating like this felt more like eating alone and for once it was just like being absolutely numb, Caitlyn couldn't feel the suffocation of her mother's words, it was like her mind had went blank.

After dinner, Caitlyn skipped going to the garden, tonight she settled for just standing in her balcony late at night, while the moonlight lit her ocean blue eyes and the breeze softly moved Caitlyn's hair. Caitlyn stared at the stars and hoped that somewhere far away in a trench she would never see or know, Vi would be sitting and reading her letters.

That thought alone made Caitlyn be able to breathe a little, though her chest felt tight and hollow. "Please give her a comforting dream, something that makes her feel a little better." Caitlyn said out loud, she wasn't sure if she was asking this to some kind of god, to fate or the night itself. It was such a foolish thought and hope, but it was enough to quiet her hollow heart for tonight.

────•⋅⊰༻♥︎༺⊱⋅•────

Hours later, then sun had hidden and Violet had returned to the trench, no matter how much she tried to clean her hands, she could still feel blood that wasn't hers staining them and her uniform. And as much as Violet wanted to say she would never have to do this again, she knew she would have to do it again, maybe tomorrow, maybe this same night, and it was all to survive.

That same night Violet sat by the oil lamp, the smell of gunpowder still stuck to her uniform, it made Violet's stomach churn uncomfortably. The quiet light of the oil lamp trembled against the walls of the trench painting the shadows like ghosts haunting Violet's memory. Violet reached to grab a piece of paper to start writing, but her hand stopped in the air.

— What am I supposed to tell her? — Violet thought, was she supposed to write that she was okay? That she still dreamed of returning to the garden of the Kiramman's and see Caitlyn once again? Doubt crept into Violet's mind and Violet's chest started to feel tight.

And for the first time since the war had truly started for her, Violet let herself cry. A quiet sob escaped her lips as she felt like guilt choked her. "I'm sorry..." Violet choked out in a whisper to the letters, to Caitlyn, to no one. The quiet flame of the oil lamp started flickering and wavering, until it slowly died, leaving Violet in the darkness of the trench, while Violet's quiet sobs were muffled by Violet's own hands, she couldn't even cry properly just to not get caught.

────•⋅⊰༻♥༺⊱⋅•────

Chapter Text

────•⋅⊰༻♥︎༺⊱⋅•────

May 28th 1850
My Dearest Caitlyn.

I received your letters yesterday during the evening, it warmed my heart to know you’re safe, and it truly breaks my heart to not be able to go back and hug you, I miss you more than words can express.
I truly appreciate your choice on leaving the money for Powder if I cannot make it back, your kindness makes my heart warm and soothes my worries. And as for me?
Today there was a battle, our very first one as a troop. Luckily everything worked out well, I helped tend to some of the injured soldiers, and I can assure you that I’m perfectly fine, though the days are long and the work is exhausting. I try to help where I can, sharing my meager food rations with the injured soldiers. which isn’t even that good, the taste is getting old after eating almost the same every day.
Please take care of yourself and Powder; Your letters give me strength, and I live for the day I can see you both again.
Love,
Violet.

The soft weight of the letter warmed Caitlyn’s heart ever so slightly, after almost two weeks without any information about Vi, those letters arriving kindled a spark of hope in Caitlyn’s heart, yet upon reading about the battle, Caitlyn’s stomach twisted with worry, Vi had survived, yes, but as kind as it was, giving away her rations made Caitlyn realize that Vi wasn’t eating enough herself – And that realization made her heart ache.

Upon reading some of the other letters, Caitlyn could sense something was odd – She wouldn’t hide something from me. - Caitlyn told herself, yet she couldn’t quite make out why her heart sensed something was wrong when Vi would mention that sometimes she sat in the dark while wondering when this all would be over, or when Vi told her about how fatigued she felt some days after duty, Caitlyn was aware that soldier duty was nothing close to easy, but still a sense that there was something that Vi wasn’t telling her-and she couldn’t just shake that feeling.

────•⋅⊰༻♥︎༺⊱⋅•────

The warm sun of June was already starting to take a toll on many of the soldiers, including Violet, the temperature was oppressive as they all worked on their duty, and during night, though the temperature seemed a little gentler, it didn’t mean that duty was nearly over for any of them. Soon the delays of the ships made the food go low, their rations were smaller, and there was little water too due to the exhausting heat that made every soldier go to their limit while on duty.

That day Violet was in the middle of her duty when she started feeling quite dizzy, she tried to brush it off at first. - I’m just tired. - Violet told herself, while she walked over to their water supply with some other soldiers of the troop, though the water supply was probably unsafe. But thirst was far too great, and they didn’t yet have any other resource.

Every step she took felt heavy. Her body ached but once again she tried to brush it off-everyone in her troop was exhausted. As they were close to their destination, Violet’s head felt way too heavy, and in less than a blink, Violet’s vision started blurring. Her world tilted. Her body fell to the floor heavily, slumping into the dust, heat hammering in her skull, as some of the other soldiers approached her.

And though Violet wasn’t the first soldier to get a heat shock, it was far different from others, since most of the time the soldiers tried to unbutton the uniform of the fainted soldier to give them a moment to cool off, but for Violet that would mean revealing that she was a girl could mean expulsion, public shame-or worse. That thought alone made Violet’s stomach tighten even as she felt her body hit the ground.

Some soldiers dragged Violet towards the shadow, Violet couldn’t quite make what was going on yet, her body felt too tired to even try to fight anyone or try to get up. That until the soldiers started unbuttoning Violet’s uniform, not out of a bad intention surely. Even half-conscious, Violet’s eyes flickered open. Her hand shot up trembling to stop them from unbuttoning her uniform any further. Fear tightened in her chest as her hand still trembled, as weak as her body was, if anyone discovered her secret it was over for her.

“I’m fine.” Violet stated after a moment, her voice came out a little rushed, while she buttoned her uniform again in quite a bit of a rush. “Soldier you’re paler than a ghost, easy now.” One of the soldiers said before two soldiers managed to get Violet on her feet again. “Can you walk, soldier?” One of the men holding on Violet’s arms asked. “Yeah I can walk just-” Violet’s words were cut off when she almost tripped over herself.

“Let’s take him to the medical tent.” The soldiers agreed before the two soldiers who got Violet on her feet helped her walk back into the trench. “I said I’m fine! -” Violet protested, though her legs felt almost numb, tiredness and heat was catching up on her badly. “Doc’ll fix you up, come on.” One of the soldiers told Violet, while walking her towards the medical tent. Violet soon realized that probably in there some doctor or nurse would also try to unbutton her uniform, a sense of unease swirled within her gut.

Not long after Violet was being half dragged into the medical tent. The smell was nothing less than disgusting, a mix of metal, sweat, alcohol and rot. “Another heatstroke?” A doctor asked, his voice almost a bark. “He went down at the water cache.” A soldier explained, while the other eased Violet down on a cot. The doctor didn’t even look up, the medical tent was already stuffed with groaning soldiers and the medical staff was already way too busy.

“Get his coat open, we need to cool him down!” The doctor ordered, but as soon as Violet heard that her hand shot up to the collar of her uniform. “No!” She said while her hand gripped the collar of her uniform tightly to keep anyone from opening it. “I’m fine- I just... need water.” She added, her voice rough far beyond the point of having to fake her tone, her throat felt dry and sore, yet the desperation in her voice had mixed with it and made her sound almost delirious.

The medic frowned, unimpressed, tired. “You’re not fine, soldier. You’ll cool off whether you like it or not.” The doctor stated as a woman on a linen apron approached Violet holding a soaked piece of cloth. “Hold him still.” The nurse ordered while a soldier held Violet to the ground, the nurse bent down by Violet’s side and pressed the dampened rag gently against Violet’s forehead, the cloth felt like a welcome yet shameful relief to her heated skin. The faint smell of vinegar and soap made Violet’s head dizzy, and heat made Violet’s temples ache.

“You’ll live, soldier. - Just don’t collapse again.” The nurse said before she signaled something, and along with the soldier that held Violet to the ground, they forced three small sips of water between Violet’s lips, the water tasted like salvation and shame to Violet. - I need to get up, I can’t let them know. - Violet thought, she tried to get up, to sit and prove she was fine, that she could carry her own weight – her body just wouldn’t answer, and the realization hit Violet harder than when she fell to the ground not more than 30 minutes ago.

Not long after the soldier who was holding Violet down left, Violet was left in the ground, temples aching with the awful heat of fever, the scent of metal and alcohol just seemed to increase. Violet’s consciousness was hard to keep, she fell asleep for moments and then woke up again, she could see the other injured or tired soldiers in the tent while she slipped between consciousness and a light sleep. Only waking up to the same nurse changing the drenched cloth on Violet’s forehead or loosening up Violet’s sleeves, since Violet just refused to let go off the collar of her uniform.

Somewhere beyond the tent’s canvas walls, she could still hear the distant rumble of cannons — muffled by heat and exhaustion — before it all faded again into sleep. While Violet’s feverish mind tried to make sense of whatever was happening, she looked at the nurse meeting her quite blue-Ish eyes for a small second. “Cait...” Violet murmured quietly, the nurse just quietly changed the cloth and checked Violet’s temperature by touching her cheek for a small moment. Violet soon drifted into unconsciousness again, while her body tried to recover.

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Hours had passed when Violet came to her senses again slowly. The noise that filled the tent at first was duller now – Violet could no longer hear the frantic shuffle, clatter of instruments and groans she had heard before. Just faint murmurs while the golden light of the sun filtered through the canvas walls. Just then Violet felt her head pound as strongly as if someone had split her skull open in half and poured heat inside. Violet noticed the dry and stiff piece of cloth still on her forehead, her uniform clung to her skin uncomfortably and she still felt the heated sweat on her body.

The smell of blood and metal brought Violet back in her senses, and she turned her head to the side just quite enough to see rows of soldiers laying down, some were asleep, some were not. - The nurse moved between cots with an ease and calm that Violet couldn’t quite understand. Then a faint unease started swirling in her stomach, she was pretty sure she had told the nurse something at some point, but her mind couldn’t quite grasp what exactly that was.

Violet’s throat felt sore and dry still, in a near stool, an empty metal cup laid there abandoned, Violet could barely recall a few moments about how she got there. Then the sounds outside of the tent reminded Violet that the others were still working – digging, hauling, even fighting under the same heat that had gotten her here. - I cannot stay here and do nothing. - Violet told herself, though mentally since her throat felt too dry to let her speak yet.

Without another thought, Violet forced herself upright again, gripping the edge of the cot – every muscle of hers screamed. Violet just clenched her jaw. - “I’m not staying here to rot and die.” - Violet thought as she pushed herself up and grabbed the stool by her side softly to get steady. Her eyes flickered over to the orange flap of the tent where she could see barrels of water kept just beyond the line, their supply was running short.

Just as Violet pushed herself from the stool just to walk out of the tent, the same nurse that tended her gave her an almost gentle glance. “You’re a quiet one. Don’t think I didn’t notice how you fought to keep that coat shut. Whatever you’re hiding, soldier — best pray it doesn’t kill you first.” The nurse offered Violet a gentle smile before Violet stepped out of the tent, the words of the nurse stuck with her and planted a seed of worry. - Did she find out? - Violet wondered upon walking over to help with any other duty left, the heat wasn’t nearly as strong as it was during the morning and that made it easier for Vi.

As Violet slid into the trench again, she used her hand to wipe the sweat from her brow, her stomach twisted with hunger, while her throat was painfully dry. Violet knew she couldn’t rely on the delayed supplies, nor on their source of water. As the sun started setting lower, Violet noticed the shadows that formed, the unsupervised spots – The memory of the faces of those tired thirsty soldiers, including herself, and the nurse trying to make them all feel better stung there. And Violet made her mind with a plan.

Violet snuck away from the trench quietly, and as the sunlight was setting slowly and fading into the dim line of the coast, Violet crouched low behind a barricade from the enemy camp, scanning the surroundings carefully. Guards balanced with a lazy yawn, holding and swinging their torches carelessly. Violet swallowed thick to the dryness on her throat, she could only think of her squad, the way the others laid in the medical tent and probably died of dehydration, Violet refused to be one of them. She was acutely aware that one misstep or sound would mean she was over, but survival demanded and she couldn’t stand there and do nothing.

And as Violet made her quiet way back into the trench of her team, her hands trembled ever so slightly, her heartbeat increasing as if her body was already anticipating the things she would have to do and the decisions she would have ti make before the day was done.

────•⋅⊰༻♥︎༺⊱⋅•────

During that same night, after a brief session with her squad, Violet and a group of soldiers went out of the trench, and ventured into enemy territory, the quiet of the night a background to their careful and quiet steps. - Every step calculated, while their only source of light was an oil lamp that they hid to keep the light to get them caught. The scent of gun powder, the burning cloth on the torches of the enemy soldiers filled the air. “You two stay here and guard us, keep the wagon ready.” Violet ordered to two of the soldiers.

Then her, Loris and another pair of soldiers walked into the enemy camp until they snuck into the space for the water supply of their enemy. - Barely using the dim light of matches. Guilt tugged on Violet’s heart as her and the other soldiers started taking the supply from the enemy, using buckets to fill some barrels. The splash of the water was loud at first, every little step made them flinch ever so slightly, and they had to stop their movements more than once.

Finally Violet and Loris were rolling the last two barrels to take them to the wagon and go back to their own camp. Violet turned to look back and a sense of unease swirled within her stomach when she noticed one of the soldiers pouring something into the enemy’s water supply, she couldn’t quite make out what it was, but it made the lump of guilt in her throat sting even more. - Caitlyn would absolutely despise this. - Violet told herself quietly, but as she turned to look to the front again she froze in place when she noticed the light of torches approaching where she was.

Her breath hitched for a second as she rolled the barrel back softly and kept it as still as she could, her heart started hammering against her ribs so hard, the same pounding Violet had felt on her skull barely hours ago. The steps of enemy soldiers felt so close that Violet thought she was going to die for a second, genuine fear flashed in her cerulean blue eyes as she tried not to move. Just then the steps started fading along with the light of the torch.

The smell of the burning cloth on the torch lingered as Violet finally pushed the barrel again to reach the wagon and get back to their camp, it wasn’t nearly safer but it would give her the sense that she had completed her objective. As she finally reached the wagon, another soldier stopped her from lifting the barrel on her own. “Barely coming out of a heat stroke and already pushing so hard on yourself?” The soldier teased, as he lifted the barrel and placed it into the wagon, they all started pushing it back to their trench.

Upon returning to their camp, and while Violet’s squad was refilling the water supply of their trench quietly, Violet couldn’t help the mixed feelings that swirled within her chest, not only she had killed innocent people from the other team already but also had stolen from them. - It’s for survival. - Violet told herself, while deep in her heart rooted a question that made it difficult for her to sleep. - Am I turning into one of them? - Violet wondered, she made her way to the general’s tent quietly.

“Permission to speak, sir.” Violet stated firmly as she stood upright into the tent of the general. “Report.” The general answered without any seeming interest to look up to Violet, he was far too busy working on new strategies for a future fight. “I led a squad into a mission,” Violet started, choosing her words carefully. “and we managed to restore the water supply to a better point.” Violet stated, keeping the details to herself; As bad as she felt, the enemy’s misfortune was not hers to advertise.

The general finally looked up after hearing the report, his eyes as sharp as a knife yet not quite unkind. “Restoring the supply is noted, soldier,” The general stated, his tone clipped. “Innovation is welcome, but next time follow orders explicitly. Understood?” The general said then. “Yes, sir.” Violet replied firmly, though her heart still felt heavy. - I’ll spare him the details of where did the water come from. - She thought bitterly, while guilt was prickling into her conscience again. And as she left the tent her mind turned to the other soldiers.

The weight of her own choices and actions mixed with guilt – Her choices, though necessary, were now inextricably tied to survival and her growing doubts about what kind of person she was becoming. - Am I even better than them now? - Violet wondered as she slid into the trench to get herself some water and rest for a while before it was her turn to guard the trench. And though water refreshed her throat, it left a sting of guilt and uncertainty in Violet’s mind, and a bitter taste in her mouth.

Violet managed to get a few hours of rest, but an awful feeling in her gut haunted her to the point that she once again was doubting what to write in her letter to Caitlyn. Even if Violet was aware that war wasn’t pretty or nice, and that Caitlyn knew that, Violet still couldn’t help trying to shield Caitlyn from knowing every awful thing she had to do just in order to survive one more day and have a chance to see her again. Violet’s rest was often interrupted and messy.

When it was time for Violet to guard the trench, she couldn’t help being alert for even the slightest noise, a soft rustle, a sound on the trench, every little thing made Violet jump into conclusions, into some sort of panic mode, guilt and tiredness swirled in an awful mix of emotions that made Violet acutely aware of everything surrounding her.

The silence gave Violet’s thoughts free space to claw at her-the awful guilt for surviving, for every life she had taken from others and yet still living herself, every memory clawed at her mind and stuck with her, every decision a weight she couldn’t shake. Her stomach twisted painfully to every memory, and she gagged slightly at the dry taste of her own fear, wishing she could forget.

A faint sound of twig snapped, Violet froze in place. Heart hammering, she waited-Then after a minute or so, she slowly exhaled. - Just a rat. - Violet thought, as she started walking again, though her eyes wandered around for a little longer, her mind couldn’t just escape the haunting memories of that night when they were ambushed, the paralyzing fear she felt, the acts she had to commit to survive, everything made her hands tremble ever so slightly.

The faint weight of Caitlyn’s letters still in Violet’s pocket made her feel even more guilt, was she even worthy of love after killing and injuring so many people? The doubts could only make Violet’s mind a more torturous place for her. - When is killing even justified? - Violet wondered as she once again turned over her heel to march along the trench while the sun started to rise slowly on the sky. - What is Caitlyn going to think about me if she finds out? - Violet questioned quietly.

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The warm sunlight lit the Kiramman's living room, the quiet sound of silverware filled the dining room as the housemaids were quietly setting up the table for the Kiramman's. Caitlyn's heels clicked softly on the wide staircase in the manor as she walked downstairs, her heart fluttered ever so slightly every time she went to check on the mail that had already arrived barely minutes ago.

Caitlyn sat down and fixed the skirt of her dress slightly before leaning in to check on the many letters that had arrived with the mail. A soft sigh of resignation escaped her lips when once again there was no letter for her, though she had gotten a few letters already not more than four days ago, she couldn't help the painful way her heart ached every time that no letter arrived for her.

After a quiet moment of sitting there and wander absent mindedly through the other letters that had arrived, Caitlyn got up to have breakfast - she could feel a lump on her throat as she thought about Vi's letters. The knowledge that Vi wasn't eating enough while Caitlyn here had lots of food she rejected, because the guilt and the pain of the lonely feeling that swirled deep in her chest made her throat close so tight that it was even hard to swallow.

Today breakfast had been quiet enough, the golden sunlight crept into the manor and lit up the dining room comfortably, today there was not a single mention of balls or suitors, that was a little win for Caitlyn, though it didn’t help numb the aching emptiness in her chest. When Caitlyn got up after finishing her breakfast, she walked over to the living room, she intended to go into her bedroom-to write another letter for Vi. Then she stopped midway through the living room. — Her eye was caught by the newspaper on the coffee table, Caitlyn usually didn't pay a lot of attention to it, but the mention of war in the headline made her curious.

Caitlyn leaned down and grabbed the newspaper carefully, the , the headline read; — "War hero risks his life to help injured soldiers." — Caitlyn smiled, maybe there was still good people out there, a spark of hope lit in her chest, then her eyes drifted down to the details, nothing too interesting until — "The soldier under the name of "Lanes" engaged hand-to-hand battle in order to protect a soldier who carried the injured ones." — Caitlyn took a sharp breath as froze in place.

Caitlyn had to re-read that part, over and over again. — There must be another Lanes, probably. — Caitlyn tried to convince herself, but the more she read about the situation was when she realized it was likely Vi. Her sweet, caring Violet, Caitlyn wasn't quite upset to know that Vi had probably done bad things.

— War is war, I cannot judge her situation, but why does it sting? — Caitlyn told herself, though she couldn’t help the sting that clawed in her chest when she realized that Vi hadn’t told her about this. - Maybe she did, she wouldn’t hide something so important. - Caitlyn convinced herself, while she grabbed the newspaper, clutching it into her hands a little tighter and made her way to her bedroom, while her heart was slowly starting to race ever so slightly at the thought that maybe this was what Vi wasn’t telling her.

Upon reaching her bedroom, and after closing the door behind herself, Caitlyn placed the newspaper on her vanity, before she went to get the little box in where she hid Vi’s letters – Arranged by date, every single letter she had gotten as a quiet reminder of every single time she was sure Vi was alive and okay. She brought it to her vanity, and ran her fingers over the carefully placed letters, pulling out a few of the past few days.

Caitlyn opened the letter carefully again, re-reading it as she sat before her vanity, she noticed the mention of a battle, but not a big fuss about it. Then Caitlyn noticed the date on the corner of the newspaper. May 28th, Caitlyn’s breath hitched, it was the same date on one of the letters she got last week. The letter where Vi downplayed a battle, said she was giving part of her rations to injured soldiers or younger ones. But nothing quite as her nearly dying by hand-to-hand combat.

What Vi portrayed as a small skirmish hit Caitlyn now with the harsh realization that it was everything but small.

Caitlyn’s eyes shifted back to the letter Violet had sent her, her eyes focusing on the softly traced ink, Caitlyn ran her fingers softly over it, the soft paper almost fragile, as if it was somehow holding the weight of what Vi hadn’t said to Caitlyn.

“She was there,” Caitlyn said, her voice almost a whisper as realization hit her. “She was there and didn’t tell me.” Caitlyn said in a soft murmur, though anger wasn’t what filled her voice.

Fear. Her voice was laced with it, a shiver ran up Caitlyn’s spine at the crushing realization, that if Vi hadn’t made it out of that fight, if Vi had been deadly injured and just sent her those letters. - This was the way Caitlyn would’ve found out that Vi was no longer going to return, through a piece of paper an article. - Caitlyn’s eyes wandered back to the newspaper, scanning the carelessly written words, stopping at Lanes. Caitlyn couldn’t help the way her chest tightened.

Of course Vi hadn’t told her. Vi would rather let Caitlyn believe that everything was fine and that war wasn’t as bad than make her worry. - She always tried to carry all the worst alone. - Caitlyn thought, while her lips parted in a silent trembling sigh. Caitlyn’s fingertips brushed over the barely faded ink of the letter again. “You’re so far away,” Caitlyn murmured. “and yet you’re still trying to keep me safe... even from the truth.”

Caitlyn placed the letter carefully besides the newspaper, her chest swirled with a mix of emotions and an urge to write, to reach out to Vi. - Should I even tell her? - Caitlyn wondered, she worried that if she told Vi what she knew she would burden Vi further. - Caitlyn sat before her vanity staring at the papers displayer, the worry she had been bottling up for at least two months now made her hands tremble and her posture faltered ever so slightly.

Caitlyn took a deep breath as if to steady herself, while she reached out for a stationery. She grabbed the lead pencil first – hesitated for a moment. No. She wanted her words to last; she grabbed instead her pen and dipped it into the inkwell and hesitated for the smallest second before starting to write. Her fear seeped slightly through every line she wrote.

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The days from that letter to now had been almost the same for Violet, the exhausting heat of summer was making her wish that autumn would be there soon, anything if it offered any rest from the strong sun that hit all of them for hours every single day. Violet was currently in the middle of her guard, the grim shadow of the trench did little to conceal the high temperature.

Just then the unmistakable sound of the general’s voice rose between them all, announcing that letters had arrived, Violet’s chest lit up with hope and for a second it was like if worries had faded from her mind. - Ate least she doesn’t know about all this. - Violet thought as she approached to hear the names of whoever had gotten letters this week.

“Lanes. One letter.” The general announced, and Violet walked to get the letter envelope, the soft weight of the letter felt like it could fix every single one of Violet’s worries. Violet cleaned the dust of her uniform as if she could almost sense Caitlyn’s presence there along with the letter. Violet took a deep breath while her hands trembled ever so slightly as she broke the seal, ready to read about Caitlyn’s week, as if Caitlyn was there, telling her about her day like she used to in the garden during the evenings.

Letter after letter, Violet’s lips curved into a soft smile, that until she reached the fourth letter, she opened in carefully and started reading quietly;

June 12th, 1850,
My Dearest Violet.

I been reading the letters you wrote me for more times than I can count. You mentioned a battle – called it nothing serious. But today I read something that made my heart stop and my mind think otherwise. A name in the newspaper, Lanes.
Perhaps it wasn’t you, and perhaps I’m wrong. But I find myself unable to shake the fear that it was you, and if it was, I cannot help wondering how close I came to never hear from you again.
I do not blame you for not telling me. I know you well enough to be sure that you didn’t meant bad when doing so. I know you have always tried to protect me from the worst of everything. But Violet, please. I would rather face the truth and tremble with it than being safe in ignorance.
Every word you send to me means the world, but I want you to come back and not just your letters. So promise me that you’ll be careful, even when you think you can’t afford to be.

Violet took a sharp breath as she realized Caitlyn knew part of what she had done, her heart skipped a beat, and her hands trembled as she read Caitlyn’s words, those beautifully written words that tilted her whole world every time. Violet closed her eyes for a second, her fingertips brushed against the soft paper of the letter and Violet could almost swear she could hear Caitlyn’s voice asking her to be careful. As Violet opened her eyes again, she noticed another line at the bottom of the paper.

I don’t care if you have done things that you think that I could never forgive. I care that you’re still alive, and that you’re still you.
Please write when you can, even if its just a few words.
Yours,
Caitlyn.

Violet’s vision blurred with tears at those last words. - How do I even know if I’m still me? - Violet wondered, after everything she had done, after the lives she took, after stealing things, how was she supposed to be sure if she was still her? She had to stop reading for a moment, as she stared at the letter and held it carefully, while every word written in it sank into her mind and soaked her into a mix of relief and worry.

Violet clutched the letter to her chest softly, her chest rising and falling unevenly as the weight of her actions collided with Caitlyn’s loving words. - Am I still me? - Violet wondered, though the letter close to her heart burnt a warming feeling of determination. If she survived war, it wouldn’t be only for her now, but also for Caitlyn, for Powder, for her promise. Violet stared again at the letter, her fingers lingered in the inked words, tracing them with a delicate touch as if memorizing a word behind them, as if she could hear Caitlyn’s voice on them.

Violet then gently folder the letter again and tucked it into her pocket softly, close to her heart as if it gave her the strength and courage to continue, since it did somehow. Violet looked around her, the trench simmered with the hammering and punishing heat of summer while distant shouts reminded her that there was still a lot to be done today.

Throughout the day, Violet did more than just her duty and helped carrying some soldiers who got heat strokes that day. Violet knew well the feeling of a heat stroke, and though she bordered on one almost all day, she reminded herself she had to stay strong, that she could push a little further, the soft weight of the letter pressed against her chest was her reminder.

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As the day continued and everyone focused on their own chores, Violet couldn’t help a sense of something being odd, she brushed it off as she headed to do her turn of guard, but as she looked around, she could see that their stash of ammunition and gunpowder was quiet, more quiet than usual, even when the barrels of gunpowder seemed to simmer under the haze of heat. She blamed this feeling into the tiring summer heat, and wiped away some sweat from her own brow, the punishing sun made her skin crawl.

As Violet walked around guarding the area she was assigned to, her hand brushed against the letter still tucked in her pocket, Violet’s guards weren’t often this quiet, and it planted a seed of unease and doubt into Violet’s gut. A tight knot formed in her stomach, barely eased by the feeling of the letter in her pocket, something didn’t quite feel right but Violet couldn’t make out what it was. Her eyes flicked to the stash again and her chest tightened.

She looked again to their stash of supplies, and through the sound of distant shouts, A faint hiss reached Violet’s ears – soft, almost swallowed by the distant shouts - a sound that few soldiers seemed to notice or care for.

Just then one soldier fell to the ground close to where Violet was, another heat stroke, Violet assumed as she approached the soldier to try and wake him up to take him into the medical tent. It wasn’t until Violet leaned down to grab the soldier by the arms and drag him into the medical tent that she noticed a crate toppled with a hollow clank, Violet’s gaze flickered over to the barrels of ammunition close to it, a cold shiver ran down her spine - and noticed a soldier approaching to likely pick the box up, the simmering heat made it risky, one wrong spark – one careless movement – and everything would go up in flames.

Violet watched as the soldier bent down close to the barrels, a glint of metal reflecting the sunlight – Something was off, then Violet realized. That uniform, it wasn’t theirs. Her chest tightened – Enemy.

The soldier fumbled something in his hands – a match, a spark just above the barrels of gunpowder. “No!” Violet’s voice barely left her lips, dry, she lunged forward, sweat stinged in her eyes along with the dry smell of the gunpowder. Her heart hammering against her chest. She grabbed the man by his arms, he twisted and almost knocked off Violet’s balance. Violet started dragging the soldier away, the smell of sulfur made it awful to breathe, every muscle in Violet’s body screamed for her to stop this, to leave the man and run to safety herself.

Then someone shouted behind her-someone had noticed too-But for Violet time had slowed down suddenly. One wrong move, one second late and she would be done for.

She stopped focusing on the enemy soldier and dragged the still unconscious soldier away as fast as she could. The deafening sound of the explosion was the last thing Violet heard before her body was launched back and hit the ground, her consciousness faded when her head hit the ground.

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Caitlyn’s day had been quiet, Caitlyn was currently reading the newspaper since her mother told her to check on some balls that were announced, though Caitlyn was far more distracted reading about the war, feeding her curiosity, the lack of rations of food and ammunition mentioned barely made Caitlyn’s mind fill with doubts.

“Mother, how are the soldiers’ needs considered when these donations are collected? Do they reach the front lines safely, or just sit in warehouses?” Caitlyn asked quietly as she looked up from the newspaper towards her mother’s eyes. Cassandra looked up from what she was doing, she looked at Caitlyn’s eyes and saw the curiosity of Caitlyn’s eyes, that reminded her so much to when Caitlyn was younger.

“They go into warehouses, dear.” Cassandra assured, before looking back to her paperwork, while Caitlyn nodded softly and returned to reading, memorizing the names of the generals and commanders mentioned, a plan making up within her mind - maybe there was a way in which she could help Violet, even from afar.

Cassandra sensed her daughter’s curiosity wasn’t quite satisfied, she brushed a stray hairlock from her forehead and continued; “Well most of it is meant to reach for the front lines, of course,” she added carefully, “But there’s always some delay. Warehouses, sorting, accounting… it can take weeks before everything reaches the soldiers. Sometimes mistakes happen. Supplies spoil.” She hesitated briefly “Or… some disappear along the way.” Cassandra said finally.

Caitlyn’s brow furrowed ever so slightly when she heard that last part, her fingers tightening a little on the edges of the newspaper she still held. “Disappear?” Caitlyn repeated as her mind immediately pictured crates left abandoned or worse, to fall in wrong hands, she understood then why was Vi’s battalion missing their supplies, the realization sank in quickly. “Yes,” Cassandra admitted with a sigh, “It's a complicated process. And requires careful oversight. But it is not something a young lady like you should concern herself with.” Caitlyn shook her head softly.

A spark of determination grew within Caitlyn’s chest as she realized she could play a role in this, that unmistakable pull to take matters into her own hands. Cassandra saw the same resolve Caitlyn had as a child when she was concerned about something, and could quite anticipate when Caitlyn said; “Mother, I want to help and make sure the soldiers get what they need. - I want to do what I can to make sure these donations are used properly.” Caitlyn stated, her voice laced with determination as she looked at her mother’s eyes.

Cassandra studied the look in her daughter’s eyes for a long moment. “Caitlyn, war is not something one can simply walk into with good intentions. - It’s chaos, dangerous even from the safety of our city walls.” Cassandra explained before she sighed, “Those matters are handled by men trained for it, officials who understand what’s at stake. I know you mean well, but compassion does not always mean involvement.” Cassandra stated, as bad as she felt, she wasn’t going to risk her daughter and their reputation.

Her expression however, gentled when she noticed the way Caitlyn’s expression tensed, Cassandra knew that her daughter was capable of still getting into those matters with or without help. “If you truly wish to help, there are proper channels – Charity, funding, ensuring that the people oversee the deliveries. But politics, the war councils? They would tear you apart for even trying to step foot there. I won’t have that.” Cassandra sentenced finally. Caitlyn’s jaw clenched ever so slightly, charity was a slow start, she needed to make sure this would work.

“Thank you, mother. I’ll make sure to instruct myself on those areas and begin there.” Caitlyn replied, her voice steady and firm with determination. She stood up and walked into the library of their manor, this time with a newfound sense of something she couldn’t quite name. As she ran her hand over the spine of the books to search for the right ones and while her steps clicked softly into the floor, she felt her chest tighten suddenly, an uneasy feeling flooded her and made her skin crawl, like something bad was about to happen.

Though she couldn’t grasp what it was. “I’ll help you, Violet.” Caitlyn said as she brought her other hand up to hold her reliquary softly, her thumb brushing the top of it, almost like an instinct, she had vowed to always be there for Vi a few years ago, and she wasn’t going to break her promise now.

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Chapter Text

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The faint sound of shouting felt like being underwater, Violet couldn’t quite make out whatever they were saying, her eyes opened aboard a ship, in the faint distance the seashore of Piltover started to take shape. Violet’s body felt heavy, tired. “Wake up soldier, we’re almost home.” One of the soldiers told Violet, and Violet felt her heart race slightly, excitement filled her whole body as the ship approached the dock of the city, filled with families waiting for their loved ones, for the people they had been waiting to see for years now.

As Violet got off the ship and stepped into the firm dock of Piltover, her heart filled with a sense of relief while her hands trembled ever so slightly and her eyes searched amongst every face standing in the dock, she started making her way between the crowd of people while her steps increased at every second, emotion was pumping in her veins at every step she took, until she got past the crowd, she had this feeling of freedom she couldn’t quite describe, her skin prickled with the soft breeze of Piltover’s streets.

Violet’s heart found itself torn between running home to see her sister, or running the other way to see Caitlyn finally, to search for her, to tell her that she was back, that they could run away now, that war was over. Violet turned to look over to the bridge between Zaun and Piltover, her heart raced as Violet’s legs seemed to not know where to move. But then she saw it. Through the corner of her eye, she saw that unmistakable midnight blue hair, along with the bright blue hair that Powder always had.

Violet turned around to see Caitlyn standing there with a warm smile, and those understanding eyes that always warmed Violet’s soul when she most needed it. By her side was Powder, she looked a little taller, though through Violet’s eyes Powder was still that same little girl that used to cuddle with her during nights when she had nightmares, that little girl that asked Violet to braid her hair every single day. Violet’s lips curved into a smile as she finally started walking towards them.

Her legs though tired moved a little faster each time to reach them. “Cait! Pow-pow!” Violet said without minding being loud, but somehow every step she took seemed to make both Caitlyn and Powder look like they were further away, each time the distance increased, and as Violet tried to sprint, her legs just seemed too tired to even go a little faster. And then Violet saw them, behind Caitlyn and Powder, she saw other families with soldiers, but as those soldiers turned around Violet noticed, they were enemy soldiers.

How? - Violet wondered quietly as she once again felt the weight of her rifle on her back, the weight felt like it made her run slower, while Violet watched in horror as the enemy soldiers approached both Caitlyn and Powder while they stood there waiting for Violet. Violet tried to push herself further, to reach for her rifle and try to shoot the enemy soldiers, but a sharp pain in her shoulder made her wince and stop. - This can’t be. - Violet told herself as she turned around to at least yell some of the other soldiers for help, that’s when she found the horrific view of all the soldiers in her troop dead, laying on the floor on pools of their own blood.

Violet’s eyes widened in horror as she once again turned towards Caitlyn and Powder, and without thinking tried to reach them, then another sound hit her, loud as a cannon, the sound of an explosion, and the sight of Caitlyn’s and Powder’s silhouettes falling between the smoke before Violet’s eyes.

“No!” Violet shouted at the top of her lungs as she launched her body forward in panic, that’s when she opened her eyes, and the first thing she saw was a huge growing fire just a few feet in front of her, Violet looked around in confusion, she couldn’t quite hear well, a sharp whistle sound pierced through her ears at first, then it was just like listening to something underwater. Violet sat on the ground for maybe a minute before she got out of her confusion.

Realization hit her like a train, the enemy, the spark, the barrels, the explosion. Violet looked around to see the soldier she had been dragging trapped under a pile of debris. Violet pushed herself up without thinking about it twice and went to help him, she couldn’t quite make out what the other soldiers were shouting, she couldn’t hear well, she managed to free the soldier from under the debris and realized that if there happened to be another spark there would be another explosion.

She turned around to search for more enemy soldiers, but most importantly for sparks, she made sure there was nothing else that could be damaged, mostly everything else was covered in sand by the other soldiers, while the smell of smoke mixed with something like burning flesh that made Violet’s stomach churn uncomfortably, while a wave of nausea washed over her body at the realization that the smell of flesh was the enemy’s.

She faintly heard the shouts of the commander, and Violet turned around just to see soldiers moving the medical tent from its usual spot, along with other soldiers moving the injured ones in stretchers, Violet hurried to help them too. But as she started carrying the first soldiers, she felt like her left arm was weak, like it had no strength anymore, and so she instead decided to try helping to carry other stuff, but she couldn’t shake that feeling of weakness in her left arm.

Just minutes after the initial crisis had started to dissolve, Violet took a small shaky breath, and as her adrenaline started to waver, she finally felt that sting of pain that made her gasp, her right hand shot up to touch her left shoulder and her eyes widened as she realized it felt off and quite painful. She tried to move her left arm and realized she almost couldn’t, and while the adrenaline started to fade, the reality sank in. Violet looked over to the medical line and realized in horror that she would risk having to take her top part of the uniform off to fix her shoulder.

The crushing reality made Violet’s heart start to beat faster, as her hands suddenly felt sweaty. - It’s not broken. - Violet told herself, as she tried to convince herself that whatever happened to her arm was just a simple concussion, something hopefully irrelevant. But the more she tried to convince herself the more she realized that she would have to find a way to fix it. Her first instinct was to maybe tell a nurse, but nothing in the world could guarantee her that said nurse would keep her secret

Violet’s eyes wandered over the medical area, now settled in a whole different place from where it was this morning. She spotted a few nurses, but they were all too busy tending the prioritized soldiers who were bleeding or unconscious, there would be a long while before Violet could be tended by any of the nurses, and couldn’t nearly risk that someone saw her injured shoulder, because that would get a doctor implied. She had to think of a better option, a better idea.

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Between piles of books about war and its strategies, the soft of Caitlyn’s breath was heard as she passed through the pages on thousands of books she had been reading during that afternoon. As her slim fingers slid carefully marking one of the passages of the book, her knowledge only got stronger with each new thing she had learned from war, and her spirit of helping increased Caitlyn’s will to know more about politics in war, whatever happened, Caitlyn was determined to make her way into this.

By the end of the day Caitlyn had read what she had listed as the most important books about war, funds and donations, and as she slid into her night gown and brushed her hair before sleeping as she always did since she was younger, she wondered if maybe her mother would let her take a little look on her side of politics. Caitlyn was aware that her mother would never voluntarily lead her into war politics, but that wouldn’t stop her not even for a moment.

Caitlyn’s eyelids started feeling heavier as Caitlyn sat in her bed, a candle lit by the side of her bed as she read one more book about politics, though at this point the words seemed to dance under Caitlyn’s gaze, until eventually Caitlyn drifted into a quiet and peaceful slumber, as the last bright glow of the candle by her side finally faded, the shadows accommodated the lithe figure of Caitlyn’s body still holding the book in her sleep.

By the next morning, Caitlyn woke up with an energy she hadn’t quite felt in a while now, she got up from her bed and within barely half an hour she was walking into the dining room to have breakfast and satisfy her questions about politics. She sat down to have her breakfast though she spent most of her time absent-mindedly stirring her tea and taking small sips. Eventually Caitlyn set her teacup down carefully against the delicate silverware and lifted her eyes to look at her mother.

“Mother,” Caitlyn started with a soft yet confident voice. “I’ve spent the night studying war logistics—how donations are collected, how supplies reach the front. The papers speak of soldiers starving, of crates lost to mismanagement.” She paused and looked over to Cassandra, who had lifted her eyes from her paperwork and was now staring at Caitlyn, as if waiting for her to finish her sentence. “I would like to personally help ensure our family’s contributions make a difference. May I read some of your correspondence with the war council? I believe it would guide me in supporting their efforts properly.” Caitlyn stated finally with a firm voice, as she stared into her mother’s eyes with a hint of defiance.

Cassandra’s expression tightened as well as her grip on her pen while she listened to Caitlyn’s request. “Caitlyn, we’ve discussed this, and we agreed that those matters are to be handled by officials and not young ladies.” Cassandra stated firmly, not a single hint of doubt in her words, her face remained firm, almost stoic but relaxed despite the severity of her words.

“I understand, mother.” Caitlyn started again, leaning forward slightly as she kept her eyes locked with her mother’s. “But I’ve read quite enough to know that oversight is lacking. And I believe firmly that soldiers, who risk their lives deserve better. If you could allow me to see those letters, even if it's just those that involve supplies. I could instruct myself better on how to direct our charity effectively—under your guidance, of course.” Caitlyn stated with a firm tone.

Cassandra studied her daughter’s face for a moment, and her gaze softened slightly, though it kept a hint of a wary gaze. “You’re persistent, Caitlyn. I’ll consider it, but only if you promise to stay within the bounds of what’s proper.” Cassandra stated, her voice as steady as always though the way her grip on her pen had softened showed that she wasn’t that tense anymore, maybe a little surprised. Caitlyn nodded quietly before her posture softened a little in relief.

The taste of tea seemed to be better after knowing she would get access to those letters. The rest of her breakfast, Caitlyn stayed quiet, the corner of her lips, however, kept curved into a small and quiet smile, the sweet taste of triumph was the best one Caitlyn knew yet.

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Ever since she was young, Caitlyn was always curious, always wanting to learn something new, something better. Even when her parent's kept her from it. Like when Caitlyn was just eleven years old, she wanted to learn more about Zaun, frustrated that she couldn't spend more time with Vi due to the differences between both Zaun and Piltover. She believed that if she understood Zaun better, she would figure out how to spend more time with Vi.

But as expected, both of Caitlyn’s parents refused to let her know more or read about Zaun, locking every book and article away in the office of Caitlyn’s dad, and keeping it locked with a key. Caitlyn didn’t take longer than a few hours and a distracted housemaid to get the keys.

As expected, the young Kiramman snuck into the office, locking the door again behind herself. - I just need a few minutes. - Caitlyn convinced herself before she started looking for those books that her parents hid away. She roamed around the office, and bent down over some drawers, searching for anything Zaun related, while she could still hear the faint sound of her parents discussing “Troubles below”, and as much as Caitlyn had tried to, she knew she would learn more from books than for listening to whatever her parents discussed.

As she heard the faint rustle of papers, the sound of the window creaking open made her freeze-Vi, who was perched on the sill grinned. “Snooping, Cupcake? Didn’t know you had it in you.” Vi teased, while Caitlyn huffed and a faint blush painted her pale cheeks. “I’m not snooping, I’m learning. They never tell me anything.” Caitlyn stated. While Vi hopped down into the room and walked over to her. “Then let’s learn more. But if we get caught, I take the blame on this one.” Vi said as she knelt by Caitlyn’s side and started searching with her for the books.

“They’ll never tell me anything.” Caitlyn muttered. Luckily for them, they soon found the books Caitlyn was searching for, both girls spent their whole afternoon reading and going over the many pages of those books, maybe they couldn’t find a solution for being together longer, or for Vi’s circumstances, but they did find a moment of peace and quiet in the company of each other. As well as a vow.

Caitlyn decided that same day that she’ll do anything to improve Zaun’s circumstances, as well as involve herself in politics as she grew older to make a better world in which maybe she could live with Vi without hiding from everyone.

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The trench was an absolute wreck due to the aftermath of the explosion, the scent of blood and the acrid stink of gunpowder mixed in a thick scent that clung to the air and probably would for a long time. Shouts echoed from the medical tents, other soldiers dragged their wounded comrades, while another ton of them were still either helping or stuck in the debris. The explosion had torn through their ammunition stash, leaving them vulnerable. She cursed under her breath. They’d barely survived the last skirmish, and now this.

Violet stopped her steps and leaned against one of the walls of the trench, her breath was raged, her high of adrenaline was gone and the realization that her shoulder was dislocated sank deeper with each second. But there was no medic that could help Violet without risking that they found out her secret, she was running out of time as well. Many ideas crossed Violet’s mind, but she realized she’d had to fix her shoulder somehow.

Violet reached for her pocket, Caitlyn’s letters tucked inside carefully, still intact. Caitlyn’s words – I care that you’re still you. - Echoed in Violet’s mind. The memory of being in that dusty office years ago, she remembered Caitlyn’s promise of fighting for what was worth it. She clenched her jaw and looked at her shoulder, the pain throbbing from her shoulder as Violet made her choice. - I must keep fighting. - Violet thought, the single idea encouraging her to endure this, for Cait, for Powder, and for the kid she once was.

Violet’s heart pounded strongly against her chest, not only from pain but also because of the haunting fear of getting caught. If a medic touched her and unbuttoned her uniform, her secret would be openly exposed. The nurse’s words from the other day echoed in her mind again. - “Whatever you’re hiding soldier.” - A shiver ran through Violet’s spine; the words lingered like a warning. Exposure, shame or worse would await her if anyone discovered she wasn’t a man. She had come this far; she couldn’t fail now.

She tore the sleeve of her uniform without a second thought, biting into her sleeve as she braced herself for the pain to come. Violet placed her hand over her injured shoulder, then without a second thought shoved it back, her jaw tightened as she bit down her sleeve to muffle a groan of pain. The joint snapped back into place with a sickening jolt, the pain blurred Violet’s vision as she breathed out a pained sigh, muffled by the fabric in her mouth, she could taste the blood on her sleeve.

As the pain started fading, and Violet’s vision had finally come back, she took a shaky breath and tried to move her arm again, the swollen muscles still ached with every movement, but at least she could now move her arm. Violet barely noticed any of the bruises that now adorned her pale skin, even when her face burnt with sunburns.

She took one more moment before she pushed herself from the wall of the trench, to go and help the other soldiers. The blazed overhead, turning the trench into some sort of fucked up furnace. Heat simmered off the packed earth, and it stung on Violet’s sunburnt face. Distant chaos rumbled, a constant reminder that the enemy wasn’t really far away. Her uniform clung to her sweat-coated skin, while the torn sleeve of her uniform exposed the blooming bruises on Violet’s pale skin. Every breath felt as heavy as swallowing ash. But Violet pushed through, the others needed her, and she wouldn’t let them down.

Violet pushed herself to keep going. Maybe to play her injury off a little, as she walked out of the trench she ran into Loris, who limped towards her, his face smudged with a soot. “Lanes, you look like hell. That blast nearly got you.” - Violet just forced a grin as she could still feel her shoulder almost screaming in pain as she shifted her weight to try and ease the ache. “Takes more than that to kill me.” Violet assured but noticed the way Loris squinted his eyes.

“You sure you’re good? General’s asking who pulled that soldier out.” Loris questioned again, his concerns getting more evident. Violet’s stomach twisted - a lot of attention couldn't mean any good for her. “I’m fine.” Violet repeated, though a small part of her said it to believe it too, then she brushed past him to help a groaning soldier, though she herself could feel her shoulder still in pain.

Violet hauled a younger soldier into the new medical tent; her shoulder burnt in pain at each step of the way. The young soldier, barely fifteen groaned – his leg bloodied from shrapnel. “Hang on.” Violet said, her voice rough and steady as she eased the soldier into a cot. Doing her best to ignore the glance of a nurse that was approaching the injured soldier, she could feel the eyes of the linen dressed woman in her arm, on the ripped off sleeve.

Violet didn’t offer another look nor lent another word before turning over her heel and leaving the medical tent, while her heart pounded so hard that she could feel it in her throat.

The next hours were an absolute blur for Violet, maybe because of the effects of the explosion, maybe because of the fierce sun that was still high up in the sky and was burning their skin constantly. Violet made sure to help the injured soldiers the best she could, though her shoulder still burnt with the pain of exertion and the bruised muscles her dislocation caused. “Soldier, are you alright?” One of the nurses had asked, Violet just nodded a moment after, her mind seemed to be elsewhere. “Ah, yes, I’m fine.” Violet had assured though she herself wasn’t even sure about that anymore.

As the sun began to set, Violet’s gaze fell on the now wreckage that just hours before was a roaring fire, and even before used to be their ammunition barrels. The explosion wasn’t an accident, that enemy soldier with a match meant to destroy their supplies, even when it costed him his own life. The memory lingered, Violet could remember his uniform, wrong against the sunlight, and the glint of intent in his hands that made Violet’s stomach twist with a mix of disgust and something she couldn’t quite make out.

As she stared at the crates and ashes mixing on the ground, Violet couldn’t help wondering; Had someone in her squad missed him? Or worse, let him through? The thought gnawed at her while mixing with a hint of guilt. But she shoved it down quickly. Blame wouldn’t fix anything, she reminded herself, as she always told Powder when they were younger. Her eyes wandered back to the other soldiers; She had to focus-keep her squad alive and keep her secret safe.

But not even the strongest and most reliable soldier there was safe now from being questioned, the doubt of betrayal was a weight everyone carried quietly now, and the lack of trust was starting to plant a seed of problems.

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Caitlyn’s room was filled only by the sound of the birds singing out of the window, until Cassandra stepped into Caitlyn’s room, leaving a stack of letters on top of Caitlyn’s vanity, without a word, though since Caitlyn was in the middle of a class, Cassandra glanced around for a little longer. Seeing the newspaper tucked aside, on Caitlyn’s vanity made Cassandra raise an eyebrow as she approached to read it.

Though Cassandra didn’t find anything that particularly stood out in the newspaper, a seed of doubt bloomed in her chest, Caitlyn never read the newspaper until this one, what was so interesting all of a sudden? Cassandra took another quick glance at the newspaper and noticed something familiar. - “Lanes” - The word stood out like if it was brighter than the others, Cassandra knew she had read that name before.

Cassandra placed the newspaper back in place, but her instinct told her that something was off, that kind of mother instinct that felt deeper than just a gut feeling, Cassandra told herself she would put an eye on that, because over all worries, a mother always cares for their child first.

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Just a couple of hours later, Caitlyn stepped into her bedroom and her blue eyes instantly fell on the letters carefully stacked and resting on top of her vanity, a smile tugged on her lips as she walked over the vanity and sat before it, grabbing the letters with careful hands, each letter was open, some were older than others, but Caitlyn noticed the names written in the envelopes. - Cassandra Kiramman, to Officer Salo. - Caitlyn made sure to memorize the name of the officer and write it down.

As she read the letters, she thought of ways she could talk to these officers, ways she could get their attention, maybe even their cooperation. Every paragraph built the path for more of Caitlyn’s ideas to bloom and make their way into the main objective; Help Violet and the other soldiers win war and return home safely. The soft texture of paper creaked ever so slightly when Caitlyn folded the letters again and slid them again in their envelope.

Certain paragraphs mentioned supplies, war strategies, even some mentioned missing supplies that were supposed to be shipped to war. Every paragraph though helpful left doubts on Caitlyn’s mind, who took the supplies? What did they do it for? Every question was left unanswered as she kept reading each letter like a treasure. As she finished reading them, she had already made a small list of members of some council of officers from war, men who were just comfortably sitting and sending letters while the other soldiers risked their lives for their nation.

Caitlyn decided to take some matters into her own hands in her own way, and during lunch time, she sat at the table with an inquiring smile, she had a very clear idea, and emboldened by the morning success she had, she was more than ready to ask for this. “Mother, I wish to organize a ball under the Kiramman’s name for fund-raising concerning the war supplies mentioned to be missing a few weeks ago.” Caitlyn started saying, voice steady and organized.

Cassandra didn’t seem quite surprised, but her jaw clenched slightly as concern bloomed in her chest. “Caitlyn, your spirit is admirable, and a ball for such a cause would honor our family. But we must proceed carefully—war matters are fraught with intrigue. I’ll oversee the arrangements, and we’ll keep it modest, no more than fifty guests. No direct dealings with officers; that’s not a young lady’s place. Promise me you’ll stay within bounds, or we shan’t proceed.” Cassandra stated firmly, as her mind wandered over the evident doubts of her daughter’s sudden new interest.

“Yes, mother. I shall be really careful to not stain our family’s last name.” Caitlyn said with a soft voice, firm and steady but also keeping the sweetness of a child who just got what she wanted. Though a moment after, Cassandra flattened the napkin in her lap carefully.

“Caitlyn, this sudden fervor—it's the letters, isn't it? They were meant to educate, not inspire such ambition." Cassandra inquired. Caitlyn met her gaze steadily. "Precisely, Mother. The missing supplies... soldiers like those in the eastern sector suffer because of it. A ball could rally our circle to donate—bandages, food, ammunition." Caitlyn stated then without a hint of a doubt in her voice. Cassandra sighed as she put her fork down, the metal softly tapped the table. "Very well, but we'll cap it at fifty, and I'll handle the invitations to avoid impropriety. Our name must remain unblemished." During the rest of their lunch, they discussed the details of the ball, who would be the official host, number of guests and some other details that were mostly important to avoid misunderstandings and staining the Kiramman’s last name because of it.

Far from being done there, during the next hours Caitlyn had made up her mind and sat there to write a letter to each member of said council, politely inviting them to a ball organized by the Kiramman’s in order to raise funds for supplies in war. As she wrote down the word “supplies” her gut twisted in a way that told her maybe something was wrong, Caitlyn ignored it once again, brushing it off as a simple ache, though her mind lingered of Vi’s letters for a moment, she couldn’t help thinking back on her words of the lack of supplies.

Caitlyn’s stomach twisted at the thought of Violet starving herself, of sacrificing her food in order to help others. As Caitlyn wrote down each letter, she made sure to emphasize the fund-raising part, since she couldn’t risk a misunderstanding about her exchanging correspondence with a man, even less many of them, the single thought made Caitlyn nauseous. As she finished writing the letters and sealed each one of them on envelopes, she stared at them for a quiet second.

The scent of melted wax and ink mixed as Caitlyn sat before her vanity, staring at the letters carefully displayed on it, written under her mother’s name, but under her own ideals. Caitlyn took a few steadying breaths as her hand lifted to touch her reliquary, fidgeting it in her fingers softly as she braced herself for some busy weeks.

Those were just a start from the at least 50 invitations she was to send to people she had carefully chosen because of their links to war or the power they represented on the choices and orders were sent to war. And that day was the start of three weeks of Caitlyn’s days being busied by the ball details.

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Violet was wandering around the area of the explosion, the sun was low, the reddened sky still provided a soft light. The more Violet thought about it, the more she believed that the explosion had been part of a betrayal, there was no way an enemy soldier could’ve snuck into their area so easily, and approach their supplies without anyone seeing him, it just didn’t quite make sense, and the seed of the doubt had spread in the whole squad by now.

Violet walked around the area of the explosion, searching for any hint to prove her theory about a betrayal. Her breath steady as she knelt and tried to find any clue, she lifted the debris and instantly felt a sharp pain in her shoulder, a reminder of what she had gone through. As Violet scanned for any clue, she even thought that maybe, just maybe, Loris could have made the mistake. The thought itself felt like betrayal, Loris was her only friend there yet, but the inconsistence on the incident made everyone doubt.

Violet’s thoughts were interrupted by the distant shout of the general. “Lanes.” The general called, and Violet’s skin prickled with some sort of fear, the single idea of being called into the general’s tent was enough to make Violet nauseous with that sense of unease. She turned over her heel and walked to the tent while her mind raced with debating thoughts about why she was called in for. As Violet stepped into the tent, the general’s eyes bore deeply into Violet, almost like he could see her soul.

“Lanes, you dragged that boy out—reckless. Why’s your sleeve torn?” The general’s voice was as sharp as a knife as Violet could feel her shoulder pounding in pain. “Just a scratch, sir.” Violet assured with a smile as she tried to play it off, too much attention spelled trouble for her. The general sighed but didn’t try further pushing. “Walk me through it, Lanes.” The general commanded then, as he was staring down at a blank paper, a quill on his hand. Violet spent at least half an hour giving her statement on what she saw and slid the hint that maybe someone was betraying them.

“He moved too clean, sir, like he knew our patrols.” Violet said then, her voice firm and steady, the thought of a traitor amongst them had Violet’s skin crawl, dreading maybe if she had been closer to the explosion, she would’ve gotten worse injuries, or maybe died. The general wrote down every important thing in Violet’s statement. “You’re hurt, why hide it?” The general’s voice came again; Violet shrugged despite her racing heart. “Just eager to save the kid.” She assured, in her mind she was already cursing, but also praying that she wouldn’t get taken to the medical tent.

Far from done, Violet left the tent and went to look for Loris, and the soldier she had saved, not only to check on them, but to question them. If there was a traitor in her squad, she was going to make sure to root them out. - No one would get in her way to return home, no matter how much it took.

As the air was thick with the scent of ashes and blood, the now reddened sky casted shadows of barrels and bled into the medical tent, from where pained groans of other soldiers could be heard from afar, the blooming bruises on Violet’s skin were starting to sting slightly as she made her way through the trench, looking for soldiers to question about patrols.

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July came up soon, the bright sun of summer lit up Piltover, while Caitlyn had spent her week planning the ball, making sure the venue of the Kiramman manor was properly arranged and decorated, and writing down more invitations. The morning was highlighted by the soft song of the birds, while Caitlyn sat down before her vanity writing down the details for the ball, and making sure that she didn’t miss any invitations to useful people.

“Lady Kiramman, the mail is here, your mother would like to see you.” A housemaid said as she walked by the side of Caitlyn’s bedroom, Caitlyn’s eyes lit up as she heard that, had Vi sent her more letters? The single idea was enough to make the young lady’s heart skip more than a beat. Caitlyn hurried herself downstairs and stepped into the living room looking brilliant. “Good morning, mother.” Caitlyn’s voice came out as firm as usual but with a hint of the emotion she felt about getting letters.

“Good morning, Caitlyn.” Cassandra said while looking up at her daughter, then handed her a couple of letter envelopes. “These are yours, though, who’s this Lanes sending you so many letters?” Cassandra asked as she looked into her daughter’s eyes, searching for any clue. “Oh, just a friend of mine, mother.” Caitlyn assured then, her voice calculated. “From the military?” Cassandra’s voice questioned, and for a second Caitlyn felt her throat dry, how was she supposed to explain that without creating a big fuss?

“It's for Jayce.” Caitlyn added with a smile, not a single bit of hesitation despite the way her heart raced with the alarming thought of getting caught. “He can send letters to war too, dear.” Cassandra refuted. “It’s a favor, our letters get priorities.” Caitlyn assured, and though Cassandra’s jaw tightened and Caitlyn caught a spark of doubt on Cassandra’s eyes, despite that she grabbed the letters and headed back into her bedroom, the soft weight of the letters soothed Caitlyn’s nerves for a moment.

That comfort however didn’t quite last a long time, not after reading the letters.

June 25th, 1850

My dearest Caitlyn,
As I read your letter my heart aches for causing you such distress by holding the truth back. As you mentioned I did not mean harm by it, but I find myself very aware of the way you worry for me and I wanted to spare you the details.
However if you want to know, I have not hidden a lot of details from your knowledge, though this letter might arrive a little later, due to an incident today, I’ll spare you from details, but I am in good health.
Though supplies are still short, we can work them out some days, I hope your days are not too lonely, and I plead for you to do me a favor. As you know, Powder is alone most of the time, maybe pay her a visit, at least on October 28th, since it's her birthday.
I hope you have a nice week and hope to not worry you too much by mentioning the incident, I wait for your letters eagerly.
Yours,
Violet.

Though getting a letter was a certain relief for Caitlyn, the mention of an incident had made her skin crawl, since an incident could mean something small or really worrying in war, and due to the lack of supplies, the worry pressed against Caitlyn’s chest as if begging for her to find further information about it. Maybe on the newspaper that would arrive in a couple of days.

Upon finishing the letters, Caitlyn resumed on the ball details, making sure to not miss anything important, she couldn’t afford any mistakes nor misunderstandings. But the questions about the incident still lingered in her mind, Making Caitlyn struggle to focus for the next few days, until two days after and as expected during July 5th the newspaper arrived, there was a brief article about it, an explosion, the words felt like a punch to the gut as Caitlyn realized the weight of the situation.

Hours passed, the orange tones of the sun hiding started painting Caitlyn’s bedroom, as she sat before her vanity, head resting against her palms as she tried to focus. “It’s not going to be there soon enough.” Caitlyn told herself as she stared blankly at the letters for the ball displayed over her vanity, none of those supplies would arrive any time soon and Caitlyn was well aware of it.

An idea lit up in Caitlyn’s mind then, she searched her jewelry, most of it intact, since she didn’t used it often, her jaw tightened as she grabbed it and carefully placed it on her purse, then grabbed a cape and without thinking twice, she headed downstairs, her mother was busy as well as her father, no one would notice her absence. Upon reaching the front door, without hesitation Caitlyn snuck out, her black cape flew with the soft wind of the summer, as Caitlyn closed the door.

Caitlyn’s heart hammered against her chest with a sense of unease as she wandered into the dark streets covered by the hood of her cape, and trusting this wouldn’t get her into any rumors, she couldn’t afford that for herself now. - A while after she stood in a dark alley, the dim light of an oil lamp was the only source of light, Caitlyn slid the jewelry over the window of a shop. “These are sapphires and here’s gold rings.” Caitlyn assured. With what she earned, she bought morphine, first aid supplies and canned meat. Hiding it all in a basket that weighed progressively more, though for Caitlyn it was a small price to pay.

Two soft knocks on Jayce’s door were enough to get him to open, there stood Caitlyn, covered by the black cape as her arms trembled slightly from the weight of the basket she held. “Sprout? What are you doing?” Jayce asked, his voice as surprised as sleepy. “Does your mother know you’re-” Caitlyn interrupted Jayce by placing down the basket carefully. “I find myself in the need of your influence.” Caitlyn stated, and Jayce bent down to peek into the basket, the cans of meat and morphine along with the first aid stuff piled.

“This needs to reach war grounds as soon as possible.” Caitlyn stated as she looked over to Jayce, and in her eyes, Jayce could see the evident worry and need. “Is this about Vi-” Caitlyn shushed Jayce before he could finish his sentence, her eyes a little wider as if fearing someone might hear them. “Yes, keep her by Lanes.” Caitlyn said then, Jayce sighed and rubbed his tired eyes.

“This could cost my favor, Cait.” She met his gaze. “Remember our old promise to help strays?” He sighed, nodding. “For Lanes, then.” Jayce said with resignation, after all him and Caitlyn were almost like siblings, maybe one favor wouldn’t be as bad.

That night, Caitlyn returned to her manor hiding in the shadows of the streets so no one would see her, the knowledge that at least what she bought would be sent soon and would reach Vi soothed her soul slightly, until she entered the manor just to see her mother standing there. “Care to share where have you been, Caitlyn?” Cassandra asked as her voice was scolding, Caitlyn’s chest tightened. “I paid Jayce a visit, he needed an opinion.” Caitlyn assured, her voice firm as she looked over to her mother’s eyes, they looked severe.

And though Cassandra let it slide this time, it was sure that Caitlyn was now under observation and would have to be more careful with her actions, she couldn’t nearly risk getting caught or taken from her ideas of making balls to raise funds and learn about politics in war. Caitlyn went to sleep with the worry nestled tight in her chest, but knowing she had done something that might help Violet.

────•⋅⊰༻♥︎༺⊱⋅•────

Chapter Text

────•⋅⊰༻♥༺⊱⋅•──── 

The end of July in Piltover was marked by the ball Caitlyn had arranged. A soft breeze caressed Caitlyn’s pale skin as she stood by her mother’s side at the entrance of the venue, a smile on both of their faces as they each held one hand fan. As the guests started arriving, both Caitlyn and Cassandra greeted them with cordial gestures, both ladies extended their right hand and gave a curtsy to every guest. Caitlyn’s pearl white gloves cushioned every kiss, while Caitlyn felt a slight disgust by the older men. 

The ball glittered under the Kiramman’s chandeliers, fifty guests filled the venue of the Kiramman manor, the laughter had filled the whole venue for whole hours as fund filled – Bandages, meats, morphine. - But her own donations seemed to have faded into the lines, not a single letter from Vi had arrived ever since the night Caitlyn stood at Jayce’s door. Cassandra’s scrutiny had sharpened since then; Whispers followed Caitlyn’s every move while suitors circled her like hawks.  

Though Caitlyn avoided them most of the night. “Marriage secures our name.” Cassandra would slide as a subtle whisper to Caitlyn, oblivious to the reliquary pressed against Caitlyn’s chest like a burning promise of her actual love. As the first quadrille of dance was starting, officer Harrow approached her with a gentle smile. “Miss Kiramman, you’re far too young for such burdens, but... the first set?” The officer inquired. Caitlyn curtsied with grace. 

“For our soldiers, captain, delighted.” Caitlyn replied with a steady voice, placing her right hand over the officer’s left arm softly, they made their way to the center of the room, while Cassandra’s gaze stayed as sharp as a hawk’s eye over them, while Cassandra sat on one of the chaperones chairs, as a silent witness to Caitlyn’s actions and the way she kept the Kiramman’s honor. 

Caitlyn kept a safe distance as the music for the first quadrille. “Eastern casualties, sir?” Caitlyn asked in a steady voice during the hands pass of the grand right and left. “23 souls, Miss. So young to bear this.” Harrow replied with a firm voice, while his tone denoted his interest in Caitlyn. The rhythm of the music changed as their steps did too. The next time they met was for the half promenade, being side by side this time. “Sabotage?” Caitlyn asked with interest. “Enemies knew patrols.” Harrow stated as his gloved fingertips grazed the silk corset of Caitlyn’s midnight blue dress. 

The rest of their dance together was quiet, while Cassandra nodded in approval from the other side of the room, sitting by the side of one of her friends. “Perfect form and she’s only 17! She’s going to make an excellent wife when she takes one of her suitors.” Cassandra commented towards her friend with a steady voice, yet a hint of excitement crept in her tone. After just three and a half, their ball finished with a curtsy, and Caitlyn returned towards her mother’s location. 
The brief walk between the dance floor to her mother’s side felt more like a catwalk, chin straight up, posture perfect, and trying to steady her breath as she returned. “Perfect posture, dear.” Cassandra complimented as Caitlyn sat by Cassandra’s right side, just for a moment as she steadied her breath, Caitlyn’s corset felt tighter now as she lifted her hand fan and refreshed herself in the brief break. 

Cassandra opened her own hand fan too but covered her mouth with it. “What did Harrow say about funds?” Cassandra asked as Caitlyn then closed her hand fan and tapped it once on her lap. “They will need around 320 pounds for bandages, mother.” Caitlyn stated as her breath finally steadied. Though her corset still felt tight in her chest, her gaze roamed around the venue as she waited for the second dance. “Who’s your next dance partner?” Cassandra asked, and Caitlyn lifted her hand fan once again, covering her mouth with it this time. “Officer Salo, mother.” Caitlyn assured, her tone steady. 

During the next two quadrilles, breathing became a little harsher for Caitlyn, her corset though adjusted for her chest size pressed a little too tight as the soiree progressed, making Caitlyn get a little more breathless after every dance. - “It’s for Vi.” - Caitlyn told herself as she sat down beside her mother again once the second quadrille was over, her corset strained against her bust, her ribs started aching slightly. 

Finally, it was time for the main speech and auction, everyone was settled in place as the auctioneer started to speak; starting the bid, “Necklace for bandages, starting at 10 pounds!” The auctioneer announced first and without a doubt, Caitlyn offered 50 pounds, her voice announcing through the whole venue, followed by the voice of officer Harrow, matching Caitlyn’s bid without a single doubt. “100 pounds, sold!” The auctioneer announced. 

As the next bids raised, Caitlyn had started to steady her breath again, despite the ache in her ribs, the single knowledge of how high bids were getting made her feel some sort of relief. Though a hint of uncertainty tugged at Caitlyn’s gut when she noticed the way officer Harrow was matching her bids every time, it only meant one thing; marriage. The single thought made Caitlyn quite nauseous, as her stomach twisted to the idea, she wasn’t going to marry any man who tried to pretend her, her heart was already taken. 

The soiree continued smoothly after that, after the auction the third quadrille was announced, Caitlyn braced herself for the last dance as her ribs strained slightly against the corset as the minutes ticked by. Caitlyn could notice the gaze of officer Harrow on her, it wasn’t unusual for her to have suitors, but it didn’t do much to the way Caitlyn’s stomach twisted every time. Caitlyn realized she had one way to save herself. 

As the soiree was almost over, the 320 pounds auction hummed in the air. Caitlyn stood while holding her sapphire hand fan open, her ribs sore as the whole venue quieted down. “Honored guests, I vow celibacy until the end of this war – for our soldiers’ cause. 320 pounds tonight begins 5.000 pounds for their lives!” Caitlyn announced as she waved her hand fan once, the whole room listened in absolute surprise, including Cassandra. Harrows eyes widened - courtship paused. Salo murmured “That much time?” 

Cassandra’s hand fan dropped as she was completely stunned to the sudden reveal her daughter just announced. “A vow?!” Cassandra asked as her voice sounded slightly off her usual steady voice. Caitlyn pressed her hand fan to her lips softly. “For our soldiers, mother.” Caitlyn replied, though the fan pressed to her lips hinted a secret, and that secret had a name, Violet. The crowd of officers recovered from the announcement quickly and cheered for Caitlyn’s initiative. 

Cassandra took a little longer to recover as she picked her fan back up and took a shaky breath. “Ladylike, but bold...” Cassandra thought quietly as she realized the weight of Caitlyn’s vow and how much it meant for their honor, it kept it, but at the same time it would cause a bit of a scandal. Caitlyn sat down again with a soft breath, as she fanned herself and closed her eyes for a second. - “Until war is over, Vi.” - Caitlyn thought as a small smile tugged on her lips, she bought them enough time for now. 

The news of Caitlyn’s vow spread quickly all over Piltover, people had started naming her “The vow girl.” or “The vow hero.”, as the word spread along the streets and started showing up in the newspapers, Caitlyn took a piece of it and attached it to one of the letters she wrote to Vi during that week, sliding the soft piece of paper inside of the letter envelope and pressing a silent kiss against the envelope, as if it could reach Vi that way, as if she could kiss her in the distance. 

────•⋅⊰༻♥༺⊱⋅•──── 

The warmth of the summer sun had started faltering during some lucky days of the start of august, though it didn’t mean that a better season was to come up, the cold of autumn didn’t sound better than the excruciating heat of the summer. Yet amongst such feelings and the lingering doubt about a traitor amongst Violet’s squad, Caitlyn’s letters represented a source of light even on Violet’s darkest days. The usual shouts of the general right after dinner time sent a jolt of emotion through Violet’s chest. 

The scent of smoke and dust filled the air around the trench, while the awful smell of their meal had stuck to their uniforms, leaving a lingering scent that made their stomachs twist uncomfortably, after months of eating similar food, Caitlyn’s donation was like a gift from heaven, the taste of another kind of meat had fueled many soldiers and filled their spirits for the first few weeks, but as the old meat they used to eat was their menu once again, not even a soul looked forward to their eating time. 

Violet got up from where she was sitting, walking over to join the other soldiers in their hopeful wait, all of them had only one thing in common, and it was the hope to get a letter. The soldiers crowded around the general, as some murmured and others just silently waited. The general held a big sack stuffed with many letters, yet not enough for everyone, at least a few soldiers wouldn’t get a letter that day. 

The expected announcement didn’t take long to arrive; “Lanes. one letter.” The general had announced, and Violet went to pick up her letter as she could hear the faint murmurs of other soldiers, who muttered about Violet almost always getting a letter. Violet stepped firmly on the ground; her confidence had grown over the months to mask the fear and guilt that constantly gnawed at Violet’s mind and chest every day since was had been announced. 

As Violet’s calloused hand grazed the soft paper of the letter envelope, a warm feeling spread through Violet’s chest, like a spark lit from her hand and spread to the rest of her body, the soft weight of each letter soothed Violet’s nerves every time. And Violet had saved every single letter she had gotten, always tucking them in the pocket over her chest, keeping them the closest possible to her heart, as if the words in the letters could soothe Violet’s heart whenever it was pounding too hard or it was racing in fear and adrenaline. 

Violet was soon able to open the letter, her hands careful as she slid the letter out of its envelope with careful movements, Violet’s eyes wandered the envelope a beat longer than usual, and she ended up noticing the small piece of a newspaper tucked carefully inside the envelope, she raised an eyebrow as she noticed that, but decided to read Caitlyn’s letter first in order to understand why would she send her a piece of the newspaper instead of just explaining to her in the letter whatever had happened. 
 
July 24th, 1850. 

My dearest Violet, 
This week has been a little different and ever since the ball I hosted, my heart aches for your company at the garden every night, and as this week busies me, I cannot help longing to share it with you under the light of a thousand stars above us. 
Aside from the small donation I sent you at the start of July, the supplies bought with the funds raised by the ball should be soon to arrive, may they reach your trench in time, sparing you from hungers bite. 
As for your worries on many of the letters you sent me, regarding to my suitors, I ought to inform you that your fears are quelled, As I vowed celibacy until the end of this war, sealed by a father at the church, buying us time. My father’s library suggests wars seldom last seven years; five years shall be enough to see you home I hope. This vow binds me to you, not to them. 
I really hope you’re not experiencing a lot of lacks and struggles with temperatures, and I pray every night for you to have a comfortable sleep. Hopefully soon we’ll stop being an ocean away. 
Ever yours, 
Caitlyn.
 
Violet was stunned as she read the letter, a vow? She wondered quietly as a small smile tugged on her lips. - “Clever girl.” - Violet thought as she pulled out the piece of the newspaper and read it carefully. “High class-nonsense" The lead of the report read, but as Violet read further down, she was impressed by Caitlyn’s decision and boldness, a hint of pride had tugged on Violet’s chest as well, but then as she read the lead again, she felt frustration.  
- “She’s risking a lot for me.” - Violet thought as she clutched the paper in her hands, the soft material wrinkling under the pressure of her hand, as the guilt started to gnaw at her again. A lingering strain pulled on Violet’s shoulder, and though it was no longer a big issue, she did feel the way her muscles ached when the humidity started filling the air during dawns and sunsets, the soft but sharp pain made Violet flinch ever so slightly. Violet took a deep breath as she once again picked up the letter and held it carefully, running her thumb over the carefully written words.
 
“Celibate for the soldiers, huh?” Violet murmured softly for herself, though her eyes stung with held back tears, Caitlyn was fighting her own war across the sea, risking her reputation and even more just for her, and she was not willing to let Caitlyn down. “Five years...” She repeated thoughtfully as she re-read the letter for a moment. Violet wondered if it was true that wars could last this long, but the single thought of both Caitlyn and her sister waiting for her across the sea filled her with a burning determination to fight, no matter how much time it took.
 
────•⋅⊰༻♥༺⊱⋅•──── 

The days and weeks blurred faster in Piltover than it did in the trenches’ ceaseless toil it had been two months since Caitlyn’s ball, her popularity had increased as well as the funds she had planned to raise, her vow made her famous enough to be known by every person in Piltover as the “Vow girl”; which brought problems too - suitors approached her daily now, offering big amounts of money in order to break Caitlyn’s vow, a young officer had offered 500 pounds for Caitlyn to break her vow and marry him, but they all got the same response, a soft clench of Caitlyn’s jaw, followed by a very clear; “No.” and a polite stare, before Caitlyn walked away. 
The orange tones of autumn painted Piltover’s streets while the leaves started to fall from their trees. Caitlyn’s new fame brought her trouble to go out on her own, without her mother checking on her with every second. And as the month of October was coming to an end, Caitlyn realized that she wouldn’t be able to even leave the manor without her mother knowing it in just minutes. And as the guilt stuck like a knot on Caitlyn’s throat, she still went out and bought some art supplies.
 
By the early afternoon of October 28th, Caitlyn called one of the housemaids into her bedroom, she handed the housemaid a package and two letters, with careful hands. “I need you to take this to Zaun, to the address written on the letter envelope.” Caitlyn explained firmly yet with a gentle voice. Caitlyn had written Powder a letter personally and had asked Vi to write one herself a month ago, Caitlyn ought to make sure that those gifts reached Powder by today.
 
The housemaid felt her throat close slightly at the idea of going to Zaun as it was known as a dangerous city to say the least - Thieves, fumes, danger. “Miss. Zaun is no place for me.” The housemaid thought as her throat felt dry to the single idea of Zaun’s dangers, but it was her job and duty to do as the Kiramman’s ordered her to. “Yes, Miss Kiramman.” The housemaid said, her voice barely above a whisper, while her hands clutched the package softly.
 
Caitlyn made sure the package was well secured and that every art supply had been packed, charcoals, paint and brushes, gifts Caitlyn knew Vi would’ve loved to send her sister, a soft reminder of it was the reliquary that stayed over her chest and reminded her every single vow and promise they still kept, even when they were kept away by two and a half miles. Then continued with her day, even as her heart pounded harsher than ever against her ribs, reminding her that she wasn’t able to visit Vi’s sister as she had tried to under Vi’s request; - “Please try to pay my sister a visit.” - The words of that letter Vi had sent her echoed in her mind, if she happened to get caught in Zaun, her freedom or whatever was left from it was over as well as the secrecy of her vow.
 
Caitlyn buried her every fear under the weight of her chores of the day. Caitlyn’s efforts to forget such worries faded as her day was fueled by the inevitable nostalgia that autumn brough to almost every person at least once in their lives, the memories of every evening she spent at her garden with Vi shook her along her day. She spent most of her day focusing on the chores she was supposed to do, as well as making sure to arrange the details for another ball in November, but by night time, as the housemaid came back to the manor, Caitlyn was laying in her bed, her left hand over her reliquary, pressing it to her chest as she stared blankly at the roof of her bedroom. 

A soft knock on the door adverted Caitlyn to sit in her bed, she sat down straight as she turned to look at the door to see a housemaid step in. “Miss Kiramman, your package has been delivered” The housemaid announced with a warm smile and a soft voice, Caitlyn’s chest finally felt a little less tight in relief. “Thank you kindly.” Caitlyn replied softly, and for the first time in the day, a bit of her worries faded with the knowledge that at least Powder had gotten her birthday gift, even if Caitlyn had planned on delivering it herself at first.
 
────•⋅⊰༻♥༺⊱⋅•────
 
The soft breeze of Piltover felt more like a chilly wind on Zaun, Powder had closed the windows of the house already, and was about to lock the door as she noticed a woman standing there with a package in her hands, Powder opened the door slightly and looked up at the woman. “Hello little girl, is Powder home?” The housemaid asked, though she sounded quite confused when she read the name “Powder” on the letters on top of the package. “Why are you looking for her?” Powder asked as she seemed to doubt about the lady that shifted her weight nervously as she stood there.
 
“This package is for her.” The housemaid replied quietly, and Powder felt a spark of something in her chest, an emotion she couldn’t quite describe, she had been spending her days alone ever since Vi had left, the empty silence of the house haunted her every day, and to know someone sent something for her made her feel a rare feeling of happiness. Powder closed the door and unlocked it softly before opening it again, she received the package quietly and looked up at the lady again. “Who exactly sent this?” Powder asked then as she sounded a little less cold, more curious even.
 
“It was sent by Miss Caitlyn Kiramman.” The housemaid said before she watched Powder hesitate for a second and then nod confidently. “Tell her that I say thank you kindly.” Powder said with a soft smile, before she watched the housemaid nod, and Powder closed the door again, this time locking it before she brought the package over to her bedroom, the one she used to share with Vi. “Look Vi! Look guys! Vi’s piltie girlfriend sent something for me!” Powder announced with a cheerful voice, but the room was empty except for her and some plushies, sitting over Powder’s bed side by side.
 
Powder sat in her bed with a big smile as she stared down at the package, at first, she read Caitlyn’s letter as she commented it with her plushies. “She is a bit of a smartie pants.” Powder commented as she read every word and by the end felt kind of amused by reading this letter, it made her feel like she could write to a high society lady like Caitlyn and just play it off. But Powder’s smile faltered slightly as she saw the second letter envelope with the name “Violet” written over it on Caitlyn’s handwriting. “Okay... not funny.” Powder said out loud as if some of her plushies were going to answer.
 
She grabbed the letter carefully and opened it, the scent of dust and a hint of oil, a scent that made the emotions start to swirl inside of Powder’s chest, the single idea of getting any news from Vi was both exciting and scary - What if something happened to her? - As the doubts started to hammer in Powder’s mind, she looked over to her plushies and saw the bunny plushie Vi had left for her the day she left. She leaned over and grabbed the plushie carefully, she had been taking extra care of it since Violet left. With a shaky breath, Powder hugged the plushie and finally slid the letter open.
 
September 30th 1850 

My dearest Powder, 
If this letter is in your hands, it means Caitlyn sent it to you, and that it’s your birthday. Happy 13th birthday Pow-pow! I am so sorry for not being able to join you this year as we used to, but I hope that you had a good day and that you get to see dad by the end of the day. 
As for your gift, Caitlyn must’ve sent you a little something, I really hope you enjoy it and keep painting those beautiful pieces of art you always made with Ekko, I know you’ll do big things with this gift, and you’ll get far with your talent. I really wish I could hug you, but I promise I will as soon as I come home. 
I want you to know that I’ll always be there for you, and that you can rely on Caitlyn if you ever have any doubts that cannot wait. I wish you once again a happy birthday. 
Love, 
Your sister. 

PD: Thank Caitlyn for sending this to you, okay?
 
The soft paper of the letter was slightly stained with droplets of what seemed like tears, same one’s that now were sliding down Powder’s cheeks, a soft, shaky breath escaped her lips as her hand clutched the paper of the letter ever so slightly, her other arm held the bunny plushie close to her left side, close to her heart, as if the stuffed animal could bring Vi back or at least hug Powder like Vi used to do in every single one of her birthdays. “I miss you, Vi...” Powder’s voice broke the deafening silence in her house, it did no longer felt like home when she was alone most of the time. 

For a couple of long minutes, Powder hugged the stuffed bunny and sobbed quietly, her sharp breath intakes made her light body tremble, while she clung to the soft bunny plush and the letter as her lifelines, while her tears poured down in the plushie, and on Powder’s legs. Then as she managed to calm down a little, she wiped away her own tears from her pale cheeks, before she tucked the letter in its envelope again softly. 

Then Powder’s gaze roamed over the package. - Caitlyn sent this. - Powder told herself, she reached for the package and gently picked it up, bringing it closer to herself as she opened it carefully, her blue eyes widened when she noticed the content of it. “How?” Powder wondered aloud as she grabbed the brushes softly and stared at them in awe, they looked far more expensive than anything anyone sold in Zaun, her eyes sparkled with emotion as she wandered through the many art supplies she now had. 

“I’m starting to like this piltie girl.” Powder said as she carefully placed some of her gifts back in place and looked over to her plushies with a satisfied smile, though her lower lip trembled slightly as er gaze focused once again on the bunny plush. Powder tucked the box carefully by the corned in the bedroom that she always used to paint and try new experiments, then she climbed back in her bed and cradled the bunny plushie in her arms with a soft touch. “Though you're not here, it was a very nice birthday, Vi.” Powder said out loud before she slid under the blankets of her bed. 

I’ll write to her tomorrow in the morning. - Powder promised herself before she snuggled under the bed covers and slowly started drifting asleep, but before she did, she looked out of the window one last time. “Wherever you are, thanks piltie girl.” Powder whispered as her eyes started fluttering closed until she finally drifted off into a peaceful slumber, and her previously battered chest steadied with the easiness of a soft slumber and the promise of a better day to come, and a new birthday in which she could see her sister again. 

────•⋅⊰༻♥༺⊱⋅•────
 
Six weeks later, frost dusted Piltover’s rooftops—and Caitlyn’s resolve. Her ball in November had been an absolute success, and she was able to send supplies to war before winter started, the cold winter morning of December 18th brought Caitlyn’s pale skin a soft shiver as she stepped out of the manor to attend to her last few classes and buy some gifts for her family and for Powder, this time Vi hadn’t asked for it, or maybe she did in letters during November but due to the bad weather most letters were lost in the last few months.
 
As Caitlyn walked into a jewelry store followed by two maids, she approached the counter, her steps steady and firm. “I’m looking for sapphire jewelry.” She stated softly to the owner of the jewelry store, the man nodded and went to get the best samples he had, Caitlyn waited paciently and reviewed them to then buy the best ones as a gift for her mother. But as Caitlyn turned around to hand one of the maids the box with jewelry, her eye caught the sight of a girl that looked a lot like Violet. 

For a moment Caitlyn froze in place, the sideboard window covered by a soft coat of snow made it a little hard to see through, Caitlyn’s hope dropped quickly as she noticed the lady turn around to a child. - “Not her...” - Caitlyn thought as she let out a heavy sigh and looked again at the maid. “Miss Kiramman, is everything alright?” The maid asked softly as she stared at Caitlyn’s eyes with the gentle worry a mother would have for her daughter. “Yes, I just saw someone.” Caitlyn assured with a steady voice, despite the way her hear still pounded hard against her chest. 

As Caitlyn stepped out of the store again into the soft snow of winter for a moment, the cold bit into her pale skin, a soft reminder of the weather that made Caitlyn’s heart clench. - “I hope she’s not too cold.” - Caitlyn thought as she absent-mindedly prepared herself to go into the next store, the soft cold of the air in her hands a welcome respite to the faint ache on them, she had been knitting a lot since winter had started, baby clothes and gloves for donations, and a scarf she had sent in the mail three weeks ago for Violet, it wasn’t a lot but she wanted to send her a birthday gift too.
 
Caitlyn’s mind wandered on that thought for a little longer, Violet’s birthday, just a day away. Caitlyn sighed softly, a small cloud formed before her lips as her warm breath mixed with the cold air of the day, the silver reliquary over her chest did no longer touch her skin because of the dress, but it was there as always, as a silent company to Caitlyn’s heart and a reminder that Violet was more than a memory for her.
 
────•⋅⊰༻♥༺⊱⋅•────
 
The morning of December 19th, once joyful for Violet was filled for a sense of emptiness and sorrow, this birthday was far different from what Violet had planned only 9 months ago. The cold snow that kept their trench covered felt like needles in their skin due to the lack of appropriate clothes for the winter, Violet’s cheeks and nose were reddened as she grabbed the cold metal of the shovel and started to remove the snow from the site of their campfires. Her muscles ached with the weight of the snow as she was getting cold, her uniform was bigger than she was, and her neck was freezing, every breath she took made a small cloud of smoke that faded consumed by the cold.
 
As the roll call of every morning had finished, the general announced the time to check the mail. Though less letters had arrived these last months due to the bad weather of autumn and winter, Violet waited as she paced from side to side, unable to stay still due to the cold, but her eyes widened when she heard the words; “Lanes, one letter, one package.” - Violet walked over to get her package and letter, and though the envelope of the package was slightly wet and damaged, it wasn’t less special. Violet’s eyes stung with some tears as she chuckled softly. “You lucky girl.” Violet murmured as she held the package in her trembling hands.
 
Though it wasn’t uncommon to get packages from time to time, most packages didn’t make it or were in bad conditions by its arrival, Violet opened the package softly as she felt the Deja-vu of every birthday she had before war. As she went through the many envelopes, she found a carefully knitted lavender colored scarf, the soft scent of the floral perfume Caitlyn used came with it. Violet’s eyes filled with tears of joy and a bit of a bitter feeling, she wished she could hug Caitlyn right now. 
Violet cradled the carefully knitted scarf and brought it to her face softly, inhaling the soft floral scent that for a second brought her out of the cold war trench and back into the Kiramman garden as she laid in Caitlyn’s lap. Violet carefully wrapped the scarf around her neck, the wool carefully knitted brought a comfortable warmth to Violet’s skin, the soft scent a welcome respite from the gunpowder and oil smell of war, then Violet focused on the letter that was also attached to the package. 

Her hands opened the envelope and pulled out the folder paper, the familiar elegant handwriting of Caitlyn was barely smudged, probably from some water that had splashed the letter as it made its way to Violet.
 
November 14th, 1850
 
My dearest Violet, 
I seal this with a winter breath and a spark of hope. If the post holds truth, this letter shall reach you near your 18th winter. I have counted every snowflake since November, not even such a big number can represent the amount of love I have for you and the hope to see you again. 
The night of December 19th I will light a candle for each year you have carried the world over your shoulders. 
Powder’s letter arrived to me on November 2nd, charcoal stained the paper. She wrote “Your gifts made my birthday the best, piltie girl.” and added a small paint of a violet flower, I keep it tucked carefully next to every letter you sent me. Your hope lives now in her drawings as well, with every brushstroke she makes. 
The third ball raised 820 pounds; we stand at 2,620 pounds, and I plan on sending new supplies to you by the end of this week. On December 21st I will renew my vow aloud, celibacy until the end of the war. I will watch every suitor glare and will smile, because your name is my silent prayer every day. 
Whenever this reaches you. Happy 18t Birthday, my brave Violet. 
Ever yours, 
Caitlyn. 

P.S. Powder says the bunny sends birthday punches. 

Violet finished reading as the snow hissed against the tent pouch, her throat locked at the word; 18th birthday. Violet pressed the letter to her lips softly, she tasted salt – her own tears. “Eighteen.” Violet rasped out, her voice carried a hint of disbelief, as her eyes returned to the letter softly, the cooling trail of her tears freeze the skin of her pale cheeks as the muffled steps of Loris in the snow approached.
 
“Happy birthday kiddo.” Loris said softly, his voice a little tired, it reminded Violet painfully of Vander, his voice was as deep as Loris’ and he was as tired usually, the nights of late work always took a tool on him. “Thanks.” Violet muttered softly, as her throat was still tight with the wave of memories, and yet as she tucked the letter in her breast pocket, a smile tugged on her lips to the memory of Powder’s “Birthday punches”. - “I will come back just to watch her give those in person.” - Violet promised quietly. 

And as the warmth of the scarf wrapped around her neck and helped her get through the chores of the day, she couldn’t help dwelling on her idea of this birthday. Only nine months ago Violet had planned to spend this birthday with Powder during the day and with Caitlyn at night, she had planned to take her first day off from work just for her birthday. Her chest felt pressured beyond the constant pressure of the bandages carefully wrapped around her torso and breasts, - “Such a stupid thing to dwell on.” - Violet scolded herself mentally, dwelling on what could’ve been. 

At night, Violet sat on the trench, Loris by her side along with a soldier who had what seemed like a fever but probably was more than that. Loris had traded his last cigarette for a thumb sized hardtack smeared with some melted snow butter before handing it to Violet. “Birthday cake, Lanes.” Loris said, and Violet’s chuckle cracked the silence like ice. 18 years old and she was sitting on a trench. Violet sat cross legged, uniform frozen stiff as she stared at the hardtack. 

She cracked the piece of cookie into three, one for their fevered comrade, one for her, one for Loris. They ate in silence and reflected on their own thoughts, and though Violet’s birthdays weren’t always filled with people, this once felt quite empty. As the fevered soldier by her side coughed with difficulty, his candle blew off while the soldier fought to keep his breath steady. He wouldn’t make it to the next morning. Loris soon took his candle to other soldiers to help them, and Violet looked up at the night sky full of stars. 

“Thanks for the gift, cupcake.” Violet said out loud before lowering her gaze. “And happy birthday to me.” She added before leaning in and blowing off her candle. The darkness swallowed the trench as Violet leaned back, and barely comforted by the warmth of the scarf, drifted asleep to get some rest before another day of harsh work and sharing everything with the people she hoped she wouldn’t die along with.
 
────•⋅⊰༻♥༺⊱⋅•────
 
December 25th arrived as a quiet day, the lights in the steets gave a quiet atmosphere that felt safe, though empty for some families who like Caitlyn and Powder, were grieving a loved one who went to war. Caitlyn’s boxes of gifts reached Zaun’s orphans and warmed their christmas in a way almost nothing could do for her. The mail arrived for Caitlyn that day, some frost-bitten letters from Vi back in November, and then a charcoal-stained letter that had doodles all over its envelope, Caitlyn knew exactly who sent that letter. 

Upon opening it along with Vi’s letters, Caitlyn found a drawing of Vi hugging a bunny plushie, along with a small post card that read; “Merry Christmas piltie girl – Thank you.”, Caitlyn stared at the drawing for a moment, her hands held it as if it was a treasure while her lips were tugged with a warm smile. “Merry Christmas for you too.” Caitlyn murmured out loud before she folded the drawing again and gently tucked it along with the rest of Vi’s letters, on a box she kept hidden by her night table. Then returned to her vanity to read some other letters that arrived for her, amongst them, the letter of a pretty much insistent suitor that Caitlyn felt particularly disgusted at, she opened the letter envelope and just minded reading the first few paragraphs. 
“I will offer 1,500 pounds if you marry me, this is my last offer.” 

Caitlyn’s stomach twisted with disgust as she read that. “They offer their wealth for me as if I’m an object.” Caitlyn spat with disgust, not caring if anyone heard her. She stared at the letter for a second longer before she reached for the candelabrum sitting on top of her vanity, she stood up, holding the letters of her suitors on her other hand as she made her way to the balcony. And as she stood there before the white snow in the garden, she set the candelabrum on the edge of the balcony. 
Caitlyn’s hands didn’t tremble as she lifted the letters against the flames of the candles and watched the delicate paper light up on fire, the flame reflected against the blue of Caitlyn’s eyes as she watched the words consumed by fire, then she tossed them in the snow, letting the remaining paper dissolve in the cold. Her expression remained calm as she did this, despite the disgust still nestled in her gut at the knowledge, that in every single one of those letters, the words were just another offer of wealth for Caitlyn’s hand in marriage.
 
────•⋅⊰༻♥༺⊱⋅•──── 

Just one week after that, the morning of Caitlyn’s 18th birthday arrived, and along with it more responsibilities and some gifts. She woke up to a bouquet of flowers despite it being winter, the bouquet was beautifully adorned by lilies and a violet-colored ribbon. She held the bouquet in her hands for a moment, carefully admiring the delicate flowers and its beautiful colors, soft as a blush but strong as ink, the maids soon came into Caitlyn’s room to help her dress up, her gown for today was chosen by Cassandra nonetheless, in celebration for Caitlyn’s 18th birthday.
 
The maids helped Caitlyn into an ivory-colored dress, the long sleeves hugged Caitlyn’s arms, and the corset framed her torso like a perfect portrait. As the maid tightened Caitlyn’s corset with ease and a fast movement, Caitlyn stared at the jewelry chosen for that day, pearl earrings, some ribbon for her dress, and no collar, since she had refused to choose another since Vi had gifted her that reliquary. She sprayed some perfume softly over her skin and dress and stared at herself on the reflection of her vanity mirror one last time, before heading downstairs.
 
As Caitlyn walked past the living room of the manor, now adorned with ribbons and flowers as sober elegance, the violets that now adorned the entrance made Caitlyn feel a sting of pain, remembering Vi wouldn’t visit her this year as they had planned. Her steps echoed softly as she entered the dining room, her mother and father already sitting there, as the table was adorned with flowers and filled with fresh pastries, fruits and chocolate. Cassandra looked up from the newspaper to look at Caitlyn, a composed yet sympathetic smile on her lips. “Good morning, Caitlyn.” Cassandra started, a soft pause as Caitlyn took her seat in the table. “Eighteen today. How swiftly the years have gone.” Cassandra continued. 

“You’ve grown into a fine young woman. Your father and I are very proud.” Cassandra said before reaching out and caressing Caitlyn’s cheek for a brief moment, while her eyes usually composed sparkled with sweet nostalgia for a split of a second, as if instead of seeing Caitlyn now, for a second Cassandra was seeing the defiant little girl Caitlyn once was, who had now reached eighteen years of age and had turned into a smart and stoic woman. Caitlyn leaned into the caress for a second, er eyes softening as she stared at the woman she most admired in this world. 

The breakfast was quiet for the most part except for the moments in which Cassandra reminded Caitlyn of her schedule for the day, this one ending with a small event hosted by Cassandra, few guests but still an elegant and special soiree for her daughter. Caitlyn would sometimes reach for her reliquary with her left hand, touching it softly for a second as if to ground herself back in the day. Cassandra noticed this, and though she didn’t quite understand Caitlyn’s hidden sorrow, she added; “You have your father’s resolve… but I see a little of my own heart in you too.” 

────•⋅⊰༻♥༺⊱⋅•──── 

The night sky fell over Piltover’s city, as the venue for the Kiramman’s manor was open now for the guests invited to the celebration held for Caitlyn’s birthday, the colors were sober but held a spark of life in them, soft blue colors and violets adorned the venue for the small celebration, though as Caitlyn saw the guests arrive, she spotted many of her suitors, that had assisted because of their status but also for Caitlyn, and it made her feel uneasy at best. 
After a formal supper the music started playing, Caitlyn stood up quietly as suitors began to approach her. She accepted to dance with two of them, offering a polite yet not encouraging smile. And as she shared a dance with both her suitors, she could feel her mother’s gaze over her, probably to make her keep her manners, but also to test which suitor had the best match for Caitlyn. Upon finishing her second dance, Caitlyn returned to her mother’s side and rejected a third dance with the suitor who seemed to most desperately yearn for Caitlyn’s hand in marriage. 

Despite Caitlyn’s polite manner to said suitor, he turned around and headed back to get himself a drink, however it wasn’t relevant due to his low social status. The progress of the soiree was quiet with unspoken tension and love, clear in every guest and in every decoration in the venue, and for the closing, a cake was brought to the room by servants, a white round cake carefully adorned with sugared violets and elegant details, eighteen candles were arranged on top of it carefully, as the cake was set in front of Caitlyn, who stared at the cake in awe despite her steady reaction to it. 

Cassandra, who sat by Caitlyn’s side at the head of the table kept her composure.  “To our daughter — may she meet her coming years with grace, wisdom, and courage.” Cassandra announced, her voice filling the room as the flames of the candles lit Caitlyn’s face up slightly. Caitlyn leaned in, taking a soft breath. - “I wish for my Violet to get back home safely.” - Caitlyn thought before the flames of the candles winked out under the soft blow of Caitlyn’s breath, sending up a tiny wisp of smoke. Guests murmured softly, the music played in the background. 

Cassandra nodded in approval and offered a small faint smile, Caitlyn just nodded quietly as her mind rested elsewhere – On the distant battlefield in which Vi was right now, on the balance she had to keep between duty and desire. The gentle atmosphere was suddenly interrupted by the resonant steps of the young suitor from before, officer Madisson. Caitlyn turned around and noticed him; she stood up to politely reject him once more but this time it was far different. 
Officer Madisson, now flushed from his drink and carrying a wounded pride because of many polite rejections and the dance of tonight, lunched forward. His hand struck across Caitlyn’s cheek and the sharp sound filled the polished room like the sound of a gunshot. The glasses on the table trembled slightly as a collective gasp filled the room. A hush fell into the room then, the music stopped, the smoke of the candles seemed to hang heavier in the air now curling around the faces of the shocked guests. 

Caitlyn stood there in shock, her face slightly turned to the side, her hand slightly raised as her sapphire blue eyes flashing not only with tears of humiliations, but also with a blaze of controlled fury. “You’ve just signed your own ruin.” Caitlyn muttered with a steady voice despite the rage that swirled into her chest. - Every muscle in her body had tensed, yet her face remained composed, the perfect mask demanded by her station. Caitlyn’s chest swirled with such fury and a sense of unease, as the burning red mark started flowering in her cheek, she felt utterly exposed under the eyes of the guests. 

Cassandra stood up as if propelled by the gasp that had filled the room, her voice, low but absolute cut through the tension in the room. “Mr. Madisson, you will leave this house at once.” - The officed swayed, realizing too late the gravity of his actions, his mouth opened as if to try to apologize, but nothing came out. Servants and male guests stirred unsure whether to intervene, but Cassandra’s stare silenced them all, she moved to Caitlyn’s side, placing one hand over Caitlyn’s shoulder and guiding her away from the table. Her other hand reached up, brushing against the mark that now stained her daughter’s cheek – discreet, protective. 
Caitlyn inhaled, steadying herself. She did not flinch or sob. Instead, she allowed herself the tiniest exhale, a subtle acknowledgement of the shock and humiliation she had just gone through. 

She didn’t even try to turn around as the officer was now escorted out of the room, his face pale with shame as guests murmured quietly, some in horror, some in awe of the alike mother and daughter composure. The candles’ wax continued to drip unnoticed, their tiny flames long extinguished, leaving only the soft warmth of candlelight and the unspoken understanding of the night’s peril. 

Cassandra then drew Caitlyn into a brief, composed embrace, murmuring; “You did nothing wrong my love. Nothing.” The brief words made Caitlyn’s eyes well up with tears and burn in them, as she leaned into the embrace feeling once again as small as a child, though she had to remain as stoic as a woman of her age and status. After a moment she straightened and both women made their way back to their guests. The evening resumed as if nothing had happened, though the room would long remember both this moment and the quiet resolute and strength of the Kiramman women. 

────•⋅⊰༻♥༺⊱⋅•──── 

The following week, the news of what happened during that soiree had flown like the wind to every corner of both Piltover and Zaun. The wind against the trench in which Violet was on duty was soon to get the news too. Violet’s eyes wandered around the words until she read about the incident, the way that coward had dared to lay his hand on Caitlyn and hurt her in her own birthday in front of guests and family. The rage burned within Violet’s chest, as she felt helpless because of the distance. The paper slipped from her hands as her fists tightened until her knuckles turned white, her jaw clenched as well. 

She felt a sense of fury she couldn’t quite contain; she gripped the battle knife she had, she unsheathes it and then throws it at the closest wall of the trench, the knife dug into the wall and stayed there like a hanger. The taste on her mouth was bitter as she cursed under her breath, she couldn’t reach Caitlyn, nor could she undo what happened. And yet the image of Caitlyn, standing there poised and unshaken even as the man’s hand struck her, burned into Violet’s mind. Violet forced herself to swallow hard, she breathed as she tried to compose herself, but she would plan and watch to keep any other person from hurting Caitlyn. 

“No one – no man, no officer or drunk fool has the right to touch you. Not in this life, not ever.” Violet murmured, her teeth clenched as she knew it was a promise she could not deliver but would make sure to fulfill even before war ended. She slumped back against the wall of the trench as she could imagine the soft glow of the candles lighting the quiet smile that she knew Caitlyn had to wear even after such an incident. Distance could not dismiss her fury, and helplessness only sharpened it, and when the war was over, she swore she would be there for Caitlyn, not a moment too late, not a step too far. No one would ever land a hand nor humiliate Caitlyn in such ways again. 

────•⋅⊰༻♥༺⊱⋅•──── 

Chapter Text

The letters had grown thinner. Not in words but in paper – cheaper now, more in brittle like the city’s patience. The time had passed and though they had tried to keep spirits high, the city did no longer woke up to the song of birds. They woke up to headlines, whispers and a longer list of names from families that had received the letter they most feared, the one that could only come accompanied by maybe an appreciated object and the news that their hope of seeing their brother, son or husband had faded forever into just a mere dream or an ephemeral hope.

Four years, four months, and six days. That’s how long the clock on Caitlyn’s vanity had been ticking since Caitlyn had wrapped her arms around Vi in a warm embrace for the last time. The memory of Vi’s warmth, the way she would breathe slower when she fell asleep on Caitlyn’s lap and the sound of her laughter lingered on Caitlyn’s mind every day since then, despite the initial fear Caitlyn had about forgetting Vi’s voice, or the way she would call her “Cupcake”, despite the years it still remained fresh.

Every day since then Caitlyn brewed the same tea, read the same newspaper, and hoped that the ink would finally spell something different – It never did. The box Caitlyn had filled with the letters Vi had sent her during all these years remained perfectly intact, not a single scratch, it was almost to its top, and yet long ago the letters had started to become irregular. Less frequent, and censored, ideas were left unfinished in a way Vi had never done before, the black ink stained the words that once were written for her, the envelopes would arrive open, or sealed with the unmistakable words of those who cared to censor every letter and take hope and words from every family.

Most of the time now, Caitlyn would take a moment to run her hand over past letters, her fingertips grazed the edge of the paper as if she could feel Vi’s hand still pressed against the paper, in the way the paper had tiny dents in the places the pen was pressed too hard on, the ink stains that did seemed like Vi made them, every mark that felt more honest than every word kept from Caitlyn in every letter.

This letter has been examined by the Piltover Military Review Board. Certain sections have been redacted for content.

May 28th, 1854
My dearest Caitlyn,
It’s been over four years and a month since I last saw your face, and it never gets any easier nor painful. I go to sleep every night and miss the warmth of your words as you told me about your day. Our unit has grown ----- as the battles pass. We’re traveling -------- tomorrow. The men are scared, but we hope for the best.
Despite that, I still dream of you every night. Sometimes I wake up reaching for an empty space by my side, longing for you to be there. Four years never make it easier to be away from you, and I pray every night to whoever listens let us be together again.
As always, Cupcake, I wish you have a great week and know that if someone dares to even try and insult you, I will make them pay for it.
-------
V-

The missing lines and the way Violet’s name was replaced for a simple “V” made Caitlyn’s blood boil. The first times the censorship had started was at the end of December of 1850, at first small things, they made it look like ink spills which made Caitlyn not pay a lot of attention to it – They wouldn’t silence their own soldiers – Caitlyn always told herself. But as war progressed for another four years, censorship had suddenly gotten stronger, the missing words, the changed ones and unfinished ideas made Caitlyn realize that someone who she’d probably never seen was deciding over what could she know and learn from Vi. It was Vi’s handwriting in those letters, but it wasn’t her voice there anymore.

The more she thought about it, the more the realization that the system she serves for is preventing her from knowing the truth, the crude reality of Vi’s stance and days. - “They’re taking her words from me, as if I were a child, as if I couldn’t bear the truth!” - Those were the words Caitlyn had told Jayce, her voice had cracked mid-sentence.

Jayce could only close the folder he was working on and stared at Caitlyn in a quiet understanding, though neither of them could fix the rules forged long after either of them were even a thing. But every censored paragraph made Caitlyn grow an uncomfortable feeling of helplessness that now served as fuel for a new idea in her mind. Every cut sentence, every stained paragraph, it only served as the scenario for a new purpose, for an idea that would spare the families of all the soldiers sent to war the sting of the words they would never see.

────•⋅⊰༻♥༺⊱⋅•────

The eastern trench of Piltover and Zaun in Noxus’ ground was filled by the noise of young soldiers moving around it, some were guarding the supplies, to prevent any incident like the one from four years ago, the memory of that day still stained every soldier’s memory. Violet was now far from those duties, sitting on a desk and planning their next battle movement, their next raid. Her gloved fingers grazed the paper of a map as she firmly spoke to her captains where to advance before dawn – Her tone carried authority but there was a fatigue behind it, a slight crack in that armor as she sent soldiers to places she had been into many times before.

She did no longer slept in the cold trench with other soldiers, instead she had been decorated, she was now a major officer and second in command, and though her decorations and belongings now had a place to rest safely in a tent, it only made Violet feel more tired, her longing for going back to her home grew every day the same as her duty, her work went far beyond soldier duty, she was supposed to keep the moral of her troop up, she was supposed to write every report now, sometimes even write to the families of their deceased soldiers.

By the day, her pen now carved in paper numbers, letters with words that felt empty, reports of lack of ammunition, reports to her superiors, her hand didn’t stutter as she wrote down their every movement and loss despite how heavy her heart and body felt by having to do this – I'm turning lives into simple numbers and names on a paper. - Violet would scold herself during the night. But as the sun hid in the coast, with trembling hands, she wrote the same words but in a sweeter way to Caitlyn, trying to find softer words, and praying that this letter wouldn’t be censored. It had been months now since censorship had become strong enough to keep her from Caitlyn’s letters, and the lack of them made her days heavier and her nights lonelier.

Her days had long become the same, she woke up early and checked on the soldiers in the trenches, stared at them for a beat too long – for them she was “The Iron Wolf” - The nickname reminded her painfully of Vander, and the bitter memory was a harsh punch to the gut every time. - What would he think if he really knew I’m here? If he knew I took his place. - Violet often wondered as she walked through the side of the trench. By 10AM she was often sent to check for the rations, it was always the same, they had been running on low rations too long and it never fixed the way Violet’s stomach twisted as she noticed. “We’ll share the rations in even parts.” She announced every day.

It’s not enough. It was something Violet always thought, she started skipping her lunch, an habit that no one dared to recognize out loudly, instead she would drink, whiskey usually. The golden liquid pressed against Violet’s lips every day now. “It warms my bones.” Violet would tell the younger soldiers with a rough practiced voice, the voice that kept her from being discovered. The truth was that not even Violet believed in her own words, though the burn of the liquid going down her throat often served her as a reminder that she was still alive, breathing, she had been stronger and luckier than many others.

The loud sound of cannons did no longer made her flinch; the deafening sound had become less loud along the years – Maybe it was never that loud. - She thought every time she gave the order to fire the cannons again. The same orders she once barely heard over the drumming beat of her heart were the same orders that now rolled off her tongue like an instinct. Though sometimes she wondered if the soldiers obeyed her orders out of duty or faith. - Am I becoming one of them? - She often asked herself at night, when she caught herself doing the same movements or shouting the same orders she had once heard.

“A letter for major Lanes.” the courier announced a warm day of the middle of summer, the letter was handed to Violet without hesitation, she received it personally now. The courier’s voice was as flat as the envelope of the letter. Violet didn’t open the letter there, she had learnt long ago that hope is something she should unpack in private; The time had made her emotions to receiving letters shift, her gut now often twisted with excitement and fear at every letter, maybe it would be bad news, maybe it would be the last letter she would ever read from the woman who kept the flame of hope in her heart alive and guarded.

The excuse of going to her tent to check on some maps never failed her, her heart pounded heavily on her weakened chest as she stepped towards her desk, sitting down and pulling out a small knife that she had kept specially for opening Caitlyn’s letters, a knife that hadn’t ever been stained with the blood of those who Violet had been forced to hurt or kill. She slid the knife with a swift motion and took a shaky breath before reaching to read the letter.

July 28th, 1854,
My dearest Violet,
It’s been four years, and Piltover still shines [ink stain]. Every morning I wake to the same tea, the same quiet -----, but it’s as though the light doesn’t know where to fall.
I dreamt of you last night. [content redacted for emotional manipulation]. I think of it every time I walk past the market.
They say the war will end soon, but [section removed: inappropriate commentary on government morale]. I’ve stopped reading the names.
I’m sending [censored: mention of object] with this letter.
------
Yours,
C.

The scent of the paper comforted her slightly, the sweet smell of lavender and tea felt as familiar as out of reach for Violet. And though the paper was stained by angry ink stains and the missing words and pieces in the letter, Violet still felt a little soothed to receive a letter; The time without letters had started growing bigger as the years started to pass, at first it was one every two weeks, then a month, then... it wasn’t even possible to tell, but every time Violet got a new letter she would save it and it would often make her day a little brighter, even if just for a small moment.

Violet ran her hand over the ink stain in the letter, over the missing pieces, the unfinished sentences. “They even took your words...” Violet murmured softly as she stared at the spaces where sentences did no longer seemed finished or complete, except for small details like a pressed flower, that often made her clench the letter softly. “But they never censor the way you write my name.” She added, her voice soft, her tone no longer fake as her voice barely passed a whisper, for a moment she was Violet Lanes, and not Major Lanes or the “Iron Wolf”, she often ignored the dates on the letters, but this once it wasn’t a letter from months ago, this letter was from just two weeks ago.

In just minutes she was back in her duty, but she felt lighter, alive in a way no food nor drink could ever make her feel. Her tone with the soldiers softened slightly during the next hours, her hunger returned even for the smallest moment, she gave out rations in a fairer way, and for the first time in days she had a ration herself, the taste never failed to be awful, but it only made her feel a little more alive for moments. She sat with Loris as she had her ration, and though she seemed happier and had a glow of hope that seemed renewed, no soldier dared to tease her, no one wanted to take the risk.

Her mind was elsewhere that day, brief moments in which her mind got lost, wondering what Caitlyn was trying to tell her in the letter, imagining how many letters would be able to reach her, and though Violet’s superiors noticed that, they let it slide, it was a once in a while thing – They were strict, but all soldiers shared one thing; Hope to return home to their families and loved ones, to fulfill every promise they had ever made, and to be away from this hell. The letter, carefully tucked in Violet’s breast pocket was constantly being checked throughout the day, when she was alone, she re-read the letter until she knew every word by heart, she knew every single letter Caitlyn sent her by heart and treasured each word like her biggest possession.

That night, she caught herself smiling during headcount. It wasn’t happiness – Not quite – but it was a rare moment that no one dared to question. And for Violet? It was a smile of relief, the relief of pretending that Caitlyn was still waiting for her, still believing as much as she does that one day they will both meet again, that they will get to hold each other again and fulfill their every vow. And as the darkness of the night flooded the trench as it always did, and the quiet of the night was barely cracked by the firm steps of the soldiers that ought to guard the trench and their supplies, Violet now sat before her desk on the tent she shared with another officer.

She was leaning against the desk as she wrote down another letter to Caitlyn, it might take weeks to get to her, but she couldn’t mind that anymore, not if Caitlyn got even the smallest sense of hope Violet often felt every time a letter was able to reach her, every night she wrote, pouring her endless hope in her words, and tonight her words came sweeter, a little less charged with the tension and tiredness the days in duty would always press like an endless weight over her shoulders.

August 12th, 1854
My dearest Caitlyn,
A letter of yours arrived today, you made my day brighter in the way only you can. Rations are not the best nor the most excessive, but even through the musty taste, I found a spark of hope tasting it.
You still write like sunlight, Cupcake. Even through ash and censorship, you’ve never failed to make my days less heavy with your words. They often cut your sentences, half the letter this time, but never take your scent nor the strong pulse on every word you write down.
I hope this letter reaches you and that whoever gets to see it before allows you the hope of reading some of my “adventures” here at Noxus. I hope summer isn’t as excruciating as it is in here, and as always, I love you and hope to return to your embrace soon.
Ever yours,
Violet.

The words flowed like a river tonight, maybe it was because Violet hadn’t skipped a meal or two in the day, maybe it was the hope that had grown in her chest again, but her pulse didn’t faltered, nor did it tremble even a bit as she wrote every word with the determination that she only saved for every time she had to lead a mission, the determination that ran through her veins, fueling her along with the memory of her loved ones. Four years, four months and 16 days weren’t nearly enough to erase the face of her loved ones from Violet’s memory.

For one night only, Violet hadn’t written about every tragedy she lived, nor she had lied about her rations, or duties, something that felt light in her chest, a far cry from the weight that often pressed over her chest and stomach at every lie she wrote. And as the oil lamp resting over Violet’s desk started faltering on its light, the flame growing a little brighter for a moment, Violet got up and walked over to her “bed”, she laid down on it as the piece of wood holding it creaked slightly, Violet held Caitlyn’s letter pressed to her chest, as under her pillow now rested the scarf Caitlyn had sent her during the first Christmas they were away from each other.

The flame of the oil lamp gave its brightest shine just a few seconds before it faded into darkness, leaving Violet alone to the darkness and quiet of the night, Violet’s eyelids fluttered closed for seconds as the letter pressed to her chest felt like a quiet reassurance. A soft smile tugged at her lips as she slowly drifted to sleep, swearing she felt Caitlyn’s hand pressed to her chest instead of the letter. - A flame will always shine its brightest before dying. -

────•⋅⊰༻♥༺⊱⋅•────

As the strong heat of summer had slowly started to fade by September. Caitlyn’s mornings – often filled with the same numbness and lack of emotion, had been suddenly lit by the arrival of a letter, as always, its envelope was opened and re-closed without care, and it had the stains of being hit by water. And yet the arrival alone of the letter could at least make Caitlyn’s day a little different for once.

Caitlyn’s door closed behind her, as she took a small breath and pressed the letter to her chest. It had been four years and yet she still felt the same emotion as if it was the very first letter she had gotten from Vi, the sweet feeling of being slightly more alive at the expectation that maybe one of those letters would announce that Vi would be back soon, that she would be able to hold her again, to talk to her instead of writing her feelings and experiences down on a piece of paper that may never reach her destination.

She sat before her vanity, her hands clutching the envelope softly as the warm sunlight lit her bedroom like every morning, as she slid a small knife to open the envelope again. And though Vi’s words and almost messy writing, and the way the ink had bleed slightly staining the paper never failed to light her heart up, the sight of those black lines of angry ink and missing pieces made Caitlyn’s heart fuel with an anger that overstepped the ink stains.

August 12th, 1854
This letter has been examined by the Piltover Military Review Board. Certain sections have been redacted for content.
My dearest Caitlyn,
A letter of yours arrived today, you made my day brighter in the way only you can. Rations are not the best —––– but even through the –––– taste, I found a spark of hope tasting it.
You still write like sunlight, Cupcake. Even through –––– and censorship, you’ve never failed to make my days less heavy with your words. They often cut your sentences, half the letter this time, but never take your scent nor the strong pulse on every word you write down.
I hope this letter reaches you and that whoever gets to see it before allows you the hope of reading some of my “adventures” here at ––––. I hope summer isn’t as excruciating as it is in here, and as always, ––––.
Ever yours,
Violet.

As she finished reading the letter, the grief her heart lived in was blown away by the anger of those censored words. She clutched the paper of the letter as she stared down at it, re-reading each word as her mind tried to conjure ideas of what could’ve Vi said to her in those missing lines. “You still write like sunlight.” Caitlyn whispered to herself, and though her anger burnt as it ran through her veins, a small idea lit up in her mind. “If they want to censor our every word, they’ll find joy in knowing they no longer have to censor any of us.” Caitlyn promised to herself as she then ran her fingers over the ink stain in the last paragraph.

For a quiet second, Caitlyn kept her hand touching the ink stain with her left hand, as if that simple act could make the missing words flow into her veins and get to her mind, light her up with the missing lines that could surely mean the world to her.

The next day, Caitlyn went to deliver her own letter to the post office, and as she waited to hand the man behind the counter the letter, she noticed other women by the sides of the post office, some sobbed quietly, some stared down at letters in a quiet silence with a lost look. Caitlyn could see the stains of ink staining the papers, and she soon realized that whoever censored the letters was taking not only her hope but the hope of many others as well. That whoever made those ink stains, whoever kept their letters was taking the words of many others.

And after delivering her letter, she headed out of the post, followed by the same housemaid she once sent to Zaun. This time she walked over to the bridge that separated Zaun from them on her own, followed distantly by the housemaid. In the bridge stood Powder, she had grown taller, her skin as pale as Caitlyn’s with a hint of a sick color due to Zaun’s conditions. “Piltie girl!” Powder said as she looked over to Caitlyn, her eyes seemed to light up slightly, Caitlyn was all she had left from her sister after all.

“You don’t look happy.” Powder mentioned as she had noticed the way Caitlyn’s jaw seemed tense – something she learnt from Vi long ago but noticed herself after she had grown closer to Caitlyn. - “They keep censoring Vi’s words, and many others.” Caitlyn replied, her voice steady as she stared at Powder, a small smile had tugged her lips, the years had brought them closer, maybe it was the way they both missed Vi, maybe it was just fate or kindness, but they were each other's reminder of Vi, and they had started meeting a little more often.

“Again?” Powder asked as her voice slipped a little rougher than intended, which granted her the judgmental looks of some of the ladies in the bridge. Powder didn’t flinch at them, and instead focused on Caitlyn, who nodded quietly with resignation. “Not only Vi’s as I have recently noticed.” Caitlyn added, her hands rested over her the skirt of her dress, posture perfect – a stark contrast to the way Powder stood straight and proud, but not quite as a Piltover lady, and her dress was far different from Caitlyn’s, less puffy, the fabric of it hid small sewing scars from the times it had ripped accidentally.

“I have an idea, but I’ll need your help for it.” Caitlyn explained, she never thought her fate and the process of one of her ideas would rely on a 16-year-old, but both of them shared the motivation to get Vi’s words back. “Tell me about it.” Powder said as she smiled confidently, as she shifted her weight from one side to the other and listened to Caitlyn’s idea. The warmth of the sun was soothed by the breeze of the bridge, and though they stood at opposite sides of the bridge, they were two faces of the same coin, and they were aiming for the same objective.

────•⋅⊰༻♥༺⊱⋅•────

By the time September begun to fade, the first leaves of autumn began to fall across Piltover’s streets, followed by the progressively orange color of the others that now painted almost every street and park. Caitlyn had spent weeks moving carefully – planning on a tea party for charity of those who had to send a loved one to war – From a widow at the post office, who had found a small paper tucked into her basket, or a sister who talked to a nice young girl and got a invitation.

The ample table was covered by a white tablecloth, on top of it rested silverware along with sweets of many kinds, the smell of freshly poured tea and baked goods filled the air as the noble women started to arrive. Some looked quite nervous and glanced to the door often as they others took place on a seat. Caitlyn sat at the head of the table, her left hand holding the latest letter she had gotten from Vi. “They have taken her voice.” Caitlyn thought quietly as she glanced at the women who were now sitting down before her, while her thumb ran the letter softly through the ink stains.

The housemaid closed the door of the room, the many ladies sat now on at the table, many faces of wives, sisters and even daughters who shared the same struggle and grief as Caitlyn and Powder both did. “You must have noticed, ladies, how quiet the post has grown. My mother says it is because they censor ‘for our own good’ — but what of the wives who never know if their husbands are alive, or the mothers who must guess what a folded corner means?” Caitlyn started saying, as the quiet of the women in the room showed interest in Caitlyn’s words, even the older women kept a quiet respect for her.

Caitlyn paused for a second, taking a breath as thin as a thread, her thumb brushed the letter from Vi once more. “We are told to be patient. To wait. But words are all we have left of them — and I believe we can do better than waiting.” Caitlyn said then, her plan was simple but calculated, every detail of her idea was properly planned, every woman in this room was chosen carefully, every woman in that table had received the same ink-stained letters, had to guess the words behind a missing piece, and if they sat there today was because none of them was going to take more of that.

“Letters may be censored, yes… but perhaps they need not say everything to mean something. A flower drawn in the corner, a misplaced comma, a word that sounds harmless yet speaks of hunger or loss — those cannot be silenced, can they?” Caitlyn asked then, and stared at the long table, a corridor of women who nodded and murmured in agreement, though some of them kept nervously glancing over the door of the room, still not convinced that this tea party was safe for them, fearing that they would ger caught for trying to know more than the censorship allowed them to.

Caitlyn noticed every glance, every doubt that crept into some of the women there. She lifted the letter she held with her left hand, the folded paper unmistakable, the same every soldier had, the same paper each one of them had held once, pouring their hope on knowing more. “During these four years I have received more than a hundred letters, half of them had been carved apart or stained by the ink of a man who has never seen a battlefield. The rest of them never reached me.” Caitlyn explained, her voice firm and steady as her mother’s, but her heart was beating with the cold anger of the truth behind this whole meeting.

“I don’t blame them for wanting to spare us the horrors. But I will not be spared from the truth. I will not have their voice turned into a list of censored sentences.” Caitlyn explained then, the word “their” felt like betrayal on her tongue, but as much as she shared a thing or two with these women, she couldn’t ever let slip that it wasn’t her husband, father or brother at war, she couldn’t show that the letter that she now lifted to the eyes of 50 women had been written by a woman, and that a piece of censorship had covered the words “I love you.”

Her breath steadied as she was met by a silence of approval and the gazes of 50 women, their eyes now lit with a spark of determination, a small piece of the duty Caitlyn felt in her chest for fixing a system that was long broken and far beyond repair. “So, I ask for your help — not for rebellion, but for remembrance. For a way to write what cannot be written.” Caitlyn stated finally, her words had the weight of the years of anger and the words she would never get to read. “We will be careful. Respectable, even. But beneath every word, there will be truth — and they cannot censor all of us.” Caitlyn finally added and lowered the letter she had kept in the air, pressing it softly against the tablecloth, and though her expression never faltered, her heart drummed against her ribs each time a little harder.

The first one to speak and break the silence in the room was a young lady, probably bordering Caitlyn’s age. “I… I have wondered, Lady Kiramman, if perhaps my husband still writes. I used to think the letters simply stopped. But now, after what you’ve said, I fear they never reached me at all.” Some of the ladies in the table nodded along, probably touched by sharing the same idea, the same thoughts and hopes. “If there’s a way to make our words reach them — or theirs reach us — even if we must disguise them, then I would help in any way I can.” Another lady spoke, she seemed older but as wise as Caitlyn’s mother. The relief that flooded Caitlyn’s chest had no words to describe it.

“They’d never question a recipe. Every household sends those. A certain ingredient might stand for… a place, perhaps?” A matron spoke, and as the ideas started bubbling and flowing into the surface, Caitlyn’s plan seemed to be more reachable. “And the weather reports! My brother writes, ‘It rains often here’ — perhaps he means shellfire.” A younger lady added. “Precisely. If we each choose a pattern, a way of disguising what cannot be said, we might yet restore their voices. The Review Board will only see polite correspondence — and we shall read the truth between the lines.” Caitlyn stated then, as she finally dared to reach for her tea, sipping on it quietly once while other women shared their ideas.

The soiree was calm and strategic but filled with brilliant ideas of many women who shared an ache and an objective, disguised words and softened ideas filled the room for a whole afternoon. The sunlight had started to fade as the last lady left the Kiramman state, more than one woman had hugged Caitlyn with the soft understanding warmth Caitlyn had never found in any other than Powder. And that same night, as Caitlyn sat on the edge of her bed and stared at the moonlight, she vowed to find the words to tell Vi she loved her again. If any of those men believed that they could take Vi’s words from her, they were wrong.

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The idea took a fair share of weeks to take shape, and deep inside autumn, the trenches in Noxus turned a little colder every day. The late days of October carried a special weight for Violet. Another birthday she wasn’t able to share with her sister, another year in which she’d have to pray her letters would reach Piltover, would reach Caitlyn and then Powder. The routine of her days hadn’t changed even in the slightest, until she received a letter, it felt heavier somehow, slightly thicker than the ones she usually got, but it still had the seal that told her very clearly that the letter had been seen by others before her.

Violet tucked the letter in her breast pocket, went through her day as usual though she was curious about why was the letter thicker, heavier. - Her day was spent in spiraling thoughts about the content of the letter, bad news? Something important? Whatever it was, Violet refused to open it in front of the other soldiers.

And finally, as the sun began to hide in the coast, Violet felt her chest flutter with the cocktail of emotions that Caitlyn’s letters had always brought her. She made a last round around the trench, stared at every soldier for a beat longer to remember even a piece of their faces, “to keep herself human” she always told herself, and finally made her way to the tent that now belonged to her for a few hours, before the first officer came back.

She sat in her desk, followed the ritual she kept for every letter, the deep breaths, the clean knife saved for the letter, and she was surprised to find few to no ink stains on the delicate paper, the few ink stains were from ink that bled from its place because of the water that probably grazed the letter on its way to the trenches. And at first glance, the language was more polite, the words curved in a special way. The mention of “guests for tea” and “The warmth of the late summer sun” threw Violet off her senses for a moment. Then she realized that between lines there had to be something more.

“The sun has been fierce lately, and though the gardens are tended every day, they still wither without rain. I do hope autumn brings relief to all of us.”

The words and the way they seemed curved to say something else, to show that she didn’t really mean what she said hit Violet like a punch, a smart well placed one. “We’re struggling here, too. I’m doing all I can, but it’s hard without you.” Were the words Violet made from the letter, from the weather, from the way the ink seemed to hide yet more than Violet could see. Her eyes burnt with tears she hadn’t realized she was holding, the warm clear tears rolled down her dust-stained cheeks and ultimately fell in the edge of the letter, staining the paper with a soft touch.

Violet’s throat had tightened – Not from the smoke of the candle or the scent of gunpowder that now seemed stuck to her clothes forever, then she noticed the way that the paper seemed to split in two, and as she pulled it softly, it revealed a whole other paper sheet, with something else written on it; Tea = Letters exchanged, Weather = State of war, Flowers = Soldiers fallen, Guests = officers or government officials watching over. A soft gasp left Violet’s lips like a whisper, she re-read the letter and found a whole other meaning to it. A smile tugged her dry lips as she chuckled ever so slightly.

“You’re insane, Cupcake.” Violet whispered as she ran her hand over the now revealed sheet of paper, smiling as she realized it was so well stuck against the other sheet that no man would’ve ever noticed, not even herself if it hadn’t been for those tears she often called “stubborn”, she stared for a beat longer to the main letter and sighed. “But damn, I missed your mind.” She finally said as she placed the paper down and ran her hands over her face to hide the small smile that she couldn’t erase from her lips, she chuckled quietly in disbelief to the brilliant ideas of the woman she hoped would be her wife.

The next letter Violet wrote that same night was far different from the first ones, polite, structured, speaking about weather, flowers and the way they had started to die a little sooner this year, every word hid now a double meaning and the hope to beat the censorship of a broken system who had dared to try and keep them apart. No one and nothing could tear them apart, if there was something that both girls ever shared, was their stubbornness regarding anything they didn’t agree with.

Chapter Text

As the leaves painted the streets, as the first breezes of a cold snowy air started creeping in every house, including the Kiramman manor. Caitlyn sat at the table, sipping on her tea as her mind wandered somewhere else - “The sun has been fierce lately, and though the gardens are tended every day, they still wither without rain. I do hope autumn brings relief to all of us.” - Her mind replayed every word she had wrote down on her last letter, her hand steady as she lowered her cup of tea, the soft clink of the porcelain and silverware a background noise Caitlyn had long grown accustomed to.

She took a deep breath as she tried her best to put order in her mind, but it had been already two weeks and she hadn’t yet received a reply, which was not odd given the censorship policies, but if she hadn’t been censored, why would a reply take so long to reach her? The questions piled up in her mind as she finished her tea, her frame had grown lighter. She wasn’t quite hungry some days and no one questioned her for it as soon as she said the words; “I’m a little indisposed.” - No woman or man ever questioned those words further, even less at the table.

As she excused herself and went back to her bedroom, she sighed and reached her hands up to reach her temples, rubbing them as if it could make her messy thoughts roll into place. The morning early winter sun crept into Caitlyn’s room, going past the blinds like an intruder, too gentle for a world in which war was a consistent matter that went on every day. Caitlyn had long stopped counting how many mornings she woke up before the sun, the manor was too still – every letter delay stretched her nerves thinner.

In her vanity rested three letters, one from Vi – the other two belonged to two of the women Caitlyn worked along with now, their husbands' words had been censored the same way Vi’s words had been, missing pieces, ink stains, the same patter in which Caitlyn was left now to figure what triggered the censorship, which topics would have to be spoken more politely the same way her said “indisposed” state was often disguised. The faint sound of carriages outside of their gates kept a grounding sound that proved her that time still passed, even as she had long started to think every day felt the same.

As she traced the words in the paper carefully over and over, she could almost swear she had felt the warm touch of Vi’s hands on hers despite the way the letter had been mistreated on its way to Caitlyn’s hands. She took a deep breath as she re-read the letters for what felt like an eternity – that afternoon the council of ladies Caitlyn had gathered was planning to meet, Powder had been invited too, her brilliant young mind worked in sync with Caitlyn’s to hide the real meaning behind their polite words in search for a truth that many kept from them. Praying that somewhere across the sea Vi would be fighting to stay alive.

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As the last leaved of autumn fell from the trees and left just a memory of how full the trees used to be, Violet’s troop had to move trenches – The threat of an ambush was starting to become a diary thing, and Violet had stayed up three entire days checking for places that they could move in to, the injured and deceased soldiers had increased in the last month, the cold of autumn and the breeze of early winter mixed with their lack of food and turned lethal. Violet had been forced to send two soldiers to explore the surroundings, looking for a new place to set their trench on, a safer spot – The soldiers would go out during late nights, some returned with bad news, some others didn’t return and Violet had to put a red spot on the map again.

Finally, they had found what they thought was a safe spot, and after three nights they had moved into their new trench, the air was warmed amongst the mountains in the surroundings, the capital of Noxus wasn’t near, but so weren’t the spots they assumed had enemy camps. The night of the fourth day was spent assembling the last things, moving their supplies, and Violet had to write her reports. “Five more deceased this week.” She muttered as she stared down at her own report, her eyes were tired, her handwriting once steady trembled slightly now as the lack of sleep caught on her.

She finished a report and went to her bed, a hand always crossed over her chest, protecting both the buttons of her uniform and Caitlyn’s letters, tucked in her breast pocket like her lifeline. The night was loud with the noise of supplies being carried around, the unmistakable shouts of other officers that were on shift now. Violet’s eyes fluttered close and opened again after what felt like minutes until dawn.

She groaned as she slid out of the bed, palmed her own face a couple of times to try and keep herself up, and stepped out to the trench once again, her eyes still hooded as she struggled with the few rays of sun that were starting to light their new camp. “Bad night?” Loris asked Violet casually, he was the only one who always got to talk like this to Violet without getting told off, Violet had allowed it. “Like hell.” Violet replied before she reached into her pocket and pulled out a flask, opening it and taking a sip of the whiskey inside of it, she was far too tired from waking up in this place.

She walked over to the trench, ready to give her morning report, and start shouting orders as every day, maybe checking for their rations, her stomach growled as she thought of it. But as she made her way to her superior, a lieutenant came up to her, straightening his posture before speaking, while Violet shifted her weight from one side to the other and stared at the young boy. “Major, there’s movement near the ridge — women, I think. No arms on them.” The boy announced, Violet lifted her gaze from him and took a look around, no superiors around – she sighed and reached one hand to her side to check for her battle knife.

Civilians weren’t often a threat, but it was a reflex she couldn’t stop, an instinct stuck with her after four years of going through what she called “hell in life” if there was even something after life. She gave the young boy one nod before making her way towards the civilians that approached, stopping her steps as she found another officer. “Keep the boys back until I say. If they mean harm, I’ll know first.” She said with a firm voice before she made her way to the civilians, expecting maybe some middle-aged women who would likely be here either to serve as a nurse, which wasn’t often seen, or maybe a spy.

Violet’s firm steps on the ground turned a little softer as she saw the opposite of what she had expected, a group of women, elder ladies and some middle-aged women, all dressed in faint grey and black colors, their slim hands held pots that seemed quite heavy, most of them had already a gray streak or more in their hair, that was tied back in a bun. The group of women stopped a few meters away from Violet, not a word was exchanged as Violet studied them - The smell of whatever was in the pots smelled somehow home-like. Violet turned around to the officers and gave them a firm nod. “Let them through.” She commanded, not a single doubt in her voice as she signaled for the ladies to come closer.

“Good morning,” Violet started, her voice softened slightly. “Major Lanes.” She introduced herself, as she had to keep herself from saying her actual name. She inclined her head slightly. “You’re not to be bothered.” She assured before she took off her gloves, her hands still covered by the bandages she had long tied around them to fight, the bandages stained with dry blood at her knuckles. “Set your pots there.” She said firmly, yet her voice carried a hint of softness she never had with anyone else in a long time.

The elder woman at the front nodded, and as they made their way to the ridge, one of the widows stopped by Violet’s side for a moment. “Bless you, child.” The woman whispered before making her way to the ridge, another woman was struggling with the weight of a steaming pot. “Allow me.” Violet offered them along with a kind smile and then turned serious again and stared at a soldier. “Here, take this. - careful, its hot.” She warned as she handed the soldier the pot and made sure that he carried it to the ridge. “Bring seats — boxes, barrels, whatever you find. They’ve walked enough today.” She added to the other soldiers, who had approached, curious by the smell of warm food and the presence of ladies that brought them memories of their own families.

The ridge filled soon with the sounds of quiet laughter and the faint clatter of tin bowls – sounds that many of them, including Violet had long forgotten existed. Steam rose un soft curls from the pots of the ladies, who served each bowl themselves with gentle though trembling hands. Violet watched from the side; her chest tightened with an ache she couldn’t brush off. For the first time in years, the smell wasn’t smoke or iron, it was stew, real stew and soup. She watched as men ate with a hunger that seemed almost reverent while some other soldiers awkwardly murmured a “thank you”, unsure if they even deserved such kindness after everything they had done.

Then an elder woman, the same that had called Violet “child” passed by her side with a ladle and a bowl on her other hand, she made a slight movement to offer Violet the bowl of warm soup. Violet noticed and shook her head. “Feed them first.” She said gently, despite the way her stomach twisted to tell her she needed the food too. “You look half-starved yourself.” The woman said, earning a small smile from Violet. “I’ve had worse.” She assured before her stomach disagreed loudly enough for some other soldiers to glance her way, the elder woman stared at Violet for a moment longer, the warm bowl of soup still in her delicate hand.

The older woman arched an eyebrow; her wrinkled lips curved into a smile. “You wouldn’t reject a grandma’s soup, would you?” Violet blinked – for a second her authority faltered under the weight of something she hadn’t heard in years, not a plea, not a command – Just warmth and kindness. “No, ma’am,” Violet muttered, almost sheepishly. She took the bowl with both hands, the warmth of it a contrast to her cold calloused hands as the steam rose with soft curls. - The smell hit her first, onions, carrots and meat, real meat. “Thank you.” Violet said as her voice came out soft, though still firm as she had to keep her cover. The elder woman kept her smile. “Good girl.” The woman simply said, leaving Violet frozen in place for a split of a second.

“How’d you know?” She asked softy to the elder woman, who simply chuckled and grabbed a spoon. “Child, I’ve raised four boys. None of them ever said thank you that softly.” Her voice came out soft and knowing, as she pressed the spoon to Violet’s hand and offered her a knowing look. Violet’s throat tightened with a feeling she couldn’t quite describe or give a reason to; she simply didn’t quite understand the way a knot seemed to take place in her throat. “Guess I'm out of practice.” She joked softly, as she tried to find a way to ease the way her heart had started racing for a short moment.

“Then start again,” The elder woman suggested, as she turned around to pour another bowl of soup, her boney hands trembled slightly from cold but had practiced ease as she lifted the ladle and poured the warm broth in another bowl. “War doesn’t need to take everything, you know?” The woman added and offered Violet one last reassuring look before moving back to hand the bowl to another soldier. Violet nodded softly, just a short time, before she looked down at her soup and as she often did, she walked a little away from the crowd, almost hiding to eat, as the faint sound of laughter and the clinking of spoons fade behind her.

As Violet took the first sip of her soup, the warmth of it and the rich flavors made her eyes light back up with a spark she had lost long ago. For a second, along with the background noise, she closed her eyes and allowed herself to imagine that she was back at the kitchen of her home - eating by Powder’s side instead of alone by a trench. Just then a widow patted Violet’s shoulder softly. “You’ll eat better surrounded by people, dear. The food tastes different when there’s company.” The woman spoke and offered Violet the same knowing look that the elder lady had given her before. The widow offered a seat by her side, as if she knew Violet’s secret too - as if they cared to let her seat among women for once instead of among soldiers.

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The sunlight rays crept through the slits of the blinds in Caitlyn’s bedroom as she stood still to let her housemaid tighten her corset, Caitlyn steadied her breath, barely feeling the corset tightening around her waist - Another routine she’d learned to perform in silence. She wondered, as the last ribbon was tied, whether a letter would be waiting downstairs or if she’d be left again in that unbearable limbo between hope and grief, her only glimpse of Vi’s fate long reduced to a few dry lines in the morning paper.

Her steps on the staircase echoed through the wide space of the manor, she walked into the living room and sat down carefully, smoothing her dress before she leaned to grab the letters she had received, scanning through the envelopes, reading the mindlessly written names on the thick paper. - The sight of the letters of suitors made Caitlyn’s hands ache to start burning them, to show everyone that she didn’t intend to marry any man. - Then a spark of hope brightened her morning, the word “Lanes” plastered on the envelope like the source of hope Caitlyn needed.

Caitlyn’s heart fluttered with the emotion she never failed to feel whenever she received a new letter, whenever the rough paper of the letter envelope grazed the softness of her gloves, barely staining them with a bit of the dust that stuck to the paper like a silent prove of the distance it had gone through. Caitlyn’s stare lingered on the envelope for a little longer before she looked up from it, the voice of a housemaid broke the silence by walking over to Caitlyn and asking her to join her parents on the breakfast table.

The breakfast table was quiet, not a single word exchanged besides the morning words of every day, the clink of the spoons clicking against the silverware, the smell of tea filled the air of the room that had thick air of unspoken tension – The first years of Caitlyn’s vow, her mother didn’t say word about it. A quiet tension built up until now, not a word was said but it was evident that as the time passed, she grew as impatient as any of Caitlyn’s suitors for her marriage. - Every minute passing built up an excitement in Caitlyn’s chest as well as a lingering doubt and worry about the content of the letter.

When breakfast was over, Caitlyn excused herself under the pretext of work. Her steps quickened as she got out of sight, the hem of her dress brushed softly against the marble floor in a quiet rush, along with the hurried and almost quiet click of her heels. The moment her bedroom door shut behind her back, she let out a breath she didn’t realized she was holding, she reached down to her skirt, her barely trembling hand went through the layers of petticoat underneath the sapphire silk of her dress until her fingers grazed the letter, she grabbed it softly and pulled it out as carefully as if she was holding a treasure.

Her steps ghosted over the floor as she reached for her vanity, she opened one drawer and pulled her little knife out, the one meant only for letters though its blade had only been worn out by only Vi’s letters. Caitlyn pressed the letter softly against the vanity, the paper still warm from the layers of her dress and her soft touch, Vi’s last name looked back at her like a silent promise she wasn’t ready to lose after ripping the envelope. The paper smelled like the dust and the faint smell of the sea, a reminder to the distance between both lovers.

October 25th, 1854,
Dear Miss Kiramman,

The ridge is quieter these days – The kind of quiet that often makes you wonder if the world has run out of echoes. The weather has turned through the last weeks. The boys joke around saying it almost feels like spring, though in my opinion we’re still a few months away from getting that warm feeling again and smelling something different from iron and gunpowder.
The food is the same as usual, though the stew smells like a faint memory of somewhere I have been before. They told me sunsets feel gentler now in there, and I cannot help but wonder how they would look from a window high above the gardens and the small buildings in the city.
As always, tell your mother about how beautiful the garden must look at this time of the year. And please don’t forget the clock on the mantel – you wouldn’t like time to stop, not even for a moment.
Yours sincerely,
V.

Caitlyn’s chest fluttered with a mix of feelings as she read the letter, the words “Dear Miss Kiramman” unfamiliar to the paper as well as for Caitlyn, she knew it was for the best but the sting of every time the words “My Dearest Caitlyn” had lit up the darkest of her days lingered like a silent reminder that this wasn’t just a familiar distance they could easily bridge, but instead a war that would do everything to keep them from the other.

Caitlyn’s hands tightened against the edges of the paper for a moment before she re-read the letter, holding on every line like a lifeline as she kept trying to figure every hidden message in the letter. She prayed—silently, instinctively—that there would be something more this time. A sign. A spark of hope. Something to prove that the prayer whispered from her lips each night for the past four years might finally become more than a blind plea to whatever power still cared to listen.

Caitlyn sat there for a long moment, back straight, hands clutching the paper as she now figured the real meaning of the letter, or what she figured Vi had tried to tell her by using the code Caitlyn had sent her, at least one of them, since she had sent more than a letter to test which language would get her to Vi’s hands. The mention of being still quite afar from spring translated as “The war is still far from done during these months.” - The mention of a high window was a cherished memory of the nights Vi would sneak to Caitlyn’s bedroom, and they would stare at the city from her high balcony.

And the last line about a clock, the words about “not wanting the time to stop even for a moment” were like one of Vi’s teases, one that drew a smile on Caitlyn’s lips. “I wouldn’t, truly.” Caitlyn murmured softly as she pressed her gloved fingers against the words, every curve of the ink. The clock would never stop for them as soon as they were away, even if both of them had grown tired of the constant ticking of the seconds until their hearts would meet again in the warmth of a hug. Caitlyn folded the letter once again, then slid it back into the hidden pocket of her dress with careful hands, and for a second stared at the box in which she kept every single one of Vi’s letters. The lack of censorship on this last one was a small victory in a silent war that Caitlyn could fight too.

The soft ticking of the clock followed her as she stood up and walked over to the door of her bedroom. - every small tick a reminder that the time hadn’t stopped after all. And yet as Caitlyn’s steps echoed down the corridor, she couldn’t help but wonder if for her, time ever truly moved.

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The scent of rose tea filled the air as the sun of late November filled the conservatory, the sunlight fractured the glass panes as ladies of Piltover started filling the place along with the sound of polite society echoed in their porcelain cup. Caitlyn sat there lost in her thoughts, smiling when she was expected to, nodding to words she barely heard over the memory of repeating the letter she got from Vi just this morning, one single letter in reply to the small pack of 7 letters she had sent her, each with a different code hidden in a different way - trial and error as some would call it.

“You seem brighter today, dear,” murmured Mrs. Lancaster as her delicate gloves grazing the silver spoon that stirred the sugar into her tea. “Good news on the post, I hope?” The lady added as her eyes met Caitlyn, the blue of Caitlyn’s eyes reflected the same grief every lady in the room shared behind the whispered gossip and flawless postures. Caitlyn’s heart leap, but her expression didn’t falter. "Something of the sort.” she said lightly, lifting her cup carefully. “I received a letter today. I was rather that the letter even reached me at all – the censors are quite thorough these days.”

A quiet chuckle rippled between a group of ladies; the collective sound filled the conservatory as they smiled, their laughter was filled with a sense of triumph. “Then you’ll have to start writing in riddles next time.” Another lady added, another wave of chuckles filled the room, as they shared a bit of joy in their triumph and way to mock the censorship at least for once. “Oh, I’ve already begun.” Caitlyn replied with a measured smile, as she gave a quick glance to one of the maids that served them, her knowing blue eyes landed over her – Powder, the only one who knew that Caitlyn’s truth.

“They will never question a line about gardens and clocks.” Caitlyn added as she remembered Vi’s words in the letter, her hand brushed the folded letter on the table as a way to ground herself, to remind herself that there was still a spark of hope from Vi. “The you must write plenty of them before spring comes.” Another lady added, while the others were already memorizing which topics weren’t censored – each word meant something different now. But as Caitlyn heard the words “before spring” her mind lingered on the idea for a moment. “Yes,” she murmured. “Before spring.” She added, while her chest tightened at the thought of another spring without Vi.

The conversation soon drifted to another topic, same worries about war lingered but were disguised in different chatter – The fashions of Piltover, the slow rebuild of western districts after an unfortunate event, in which Noxian soldiers had took over the city the past winter, stealing supplies and whatever resource they could, the houses were searched almost weekly for supplies and families were broken because of the Noxian soldiers. Then came the endless talk about the trades of the city. Caitlyn’s mind was already absent, lost in thoughts that concerned matters far away from the tea table. Beneath her composed smile and flawless posture, her mind was already planning for the words she would write in the next letter, every word another heartbeat she would send across the sea.

The time passed slowly, every tick of the clock marked another second to Caitlyn’s wait, as the topic finally landed on the letters once again, the hidden meanings and metaphors had worked, but the new question surged, what if they started peeling the paper and discovered the real words and intentions behind the polite garden talk and weather mentions. “We will need something stronger than metaphor if they start peeling the paper apart,” Lady Ashworth sighed, before leaning back into her chair. “They won’t.” A younger voice chimed in, though it belonged to none of the ladies in the table. “You could glue a smaller paper sheet against the envelope, putting glue on the edges.” Powder explained quickly, with a confidence that sparkled through the room, her eyes wandered around the ladies in the room.

“If anyone careless tries to pull it the paper will rip.” She sentenced while her ink-stained gloved fingers toyed with the edge of her apron, her housemaid attire seemed bigger on her light frame. Caitlyn’s eyebrows shot up slightly in a mix of amusement and impression, it was a clever idea nonetheless. “It's indeed a smart idea Miss Powder.” Caitlyn said before turning to the table that now had fell silent to the idea. “Is any lady in here opposed to the idea?” Caitlyn asked with a steady voice, though her eyes showed no doubt that she had liked the idea. The silence that followed was read as a “no” and they finally decided their idea.

The rest of the evening was spent amongst the smell of rose tea, pastries and the chatter of new metaphors and recipes that could turn into useful information. And as the golden light of the sun began to hide on the coast, and the conservatory was fast emptied leaving just Powder and Caitlyn. “Make sure she gets home safe.” Caitlyn asked her housemaid, who seemed less nervous to go in Zaun now – It was no longer an unknown route for her. “And Powder? Your ideas are as brilliant as Vi always said.” Caitlyn told Powder with a smile, then watched her leave along with her housemaid, as she felt relief in her chest to at least stay true to her promise to take care of Powder, as Vi had asked her to.

Caitlyn made her silent way to her own manor just a moment later, the fading sunlight painted the streets with golden tones, as Caitlyn remembered the last time she walked this same route by Vi’s side, the last night they had spent together before Vi had to leave. Caitlyn could still remember the warmth feeling of holding Vi’s hand in the quiet darkness of the night, the shadows of the streets seemed to help them hide their love for many years, until fate had brought them apart. Caitlyn caught herself staring at the sky. - She had never been one to believe in God despite how often she went to church to join her mother and father. But as she had started realizing how powerless she was over Vi’s situation, she had started praying to any deity that cared to listen to her incessant prayer and plea.

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The same golden light had faded near the trench not long ago, as Violet sat on the ridge, her shoulders tense as the smell of stew lingered from the food she got to have today, she adjusted the bandages that covered her hands, then covered them with her gloves. There was a feeling of unease that swirled in her guts – everything had been far too quiet and gentle on them for today. The world seemed to hold its breath around the trench as if it prepared for something too. The deep quiet pressed on Violet’s chest while her eyes scanned the trench for any movement that was out of line.

The last three reports from the movements of the enemy had become each more uncertain than the last one, the last one had showed a favorable position from them – but the quiet report didn’t soothe Violet’s nerves and instead had set an alarm for her, she had become like this after the explosion incident, and for het this quiet was familiar in a gut wrenching way – It was the kind of quiet that came before everything went wrong. She sighed as she looked up at the sky, the night blue color was growing darker while the seconds ticked away, and for a second, she wondered if Caitlyn would be staring at the same sky as her now.

The jacket over her shoulders felt less heavy after the soup of today, and she wondered if Caitlyn’s day had been good too, she missed their late evening talks as they stared at a sky full of glowing stars. The smell of cold metal and ash filled the air as a wave of cold wind hit her skin. “You would hate this place.” Violet said to herself as if Caitlyn could hear her, a faint chuckle escaped her lips as she got up and took a last deep breath before pushing herself up. - She started making her way to her tent, intending to write a report, when the ground trembled with force.

The following noise was shouting; Violet turned her head just to see a rising fire by the side of one of the tents. “Shit.” She muttered as her eyes widened and she sprinted towards the place; the supplies weren’t far from there. Her chest tightened to the realization that this wasn’t an unfortunate accident, someone had snuck in again, a traitor amongst their lines had hidden too well. Violet grabbed a shotgun as she ran past the empty trench and aimed for whoever was dressed as the enemy was. “Secure the tent and the supplies!” She shouted, her voice steady and firm as she commanded soldiers to save stuff, while others tried to put the fire down by throwing sand at it.

Amidst the shouting and confusion, she barked the same orders that she was once told, she shot enemies without a doubt despite the way her heart clenched at the sound of the shotgun firing again. - Despite their best efforts, the roaring fire started growing as the wind fueled it, the sand did little to contain any of their stuff anymore, and the enemy soldiers had started appearing in the smoke as dark menacing shadows, too many, the fire was growing too fast, the supplies were safe but this wasn’t something they could contain now.

“Retreat!” The order came from a superior, Violet helped soldiers get away, her heart raced as she took cover behind sandbags, and shot against another enemy, the temperature was rising, her vision blurred slightly by the sting of smoke. That’s when she saw two young soldiers helping an injured one, carrying him along with a nurse that told them where to carry the injured man. She shot up to protect them, shooting until her last bullet, the enemy approached as she put her shotgun down and pulled out her war knife. “Just you and I.” She muttered softly, more to herself than to anyone else, the weight of the letters in her breast pocket were like a source of adrenaline, as she started fighting hand in hand against the taller men, a blind battle between her and the enemy, only covered by the smoke.

Her punches struck with strength, her knife sliding against the enemy with ease, she felt the way her body started slowing down as she tried to strike again after being punched in the stomach, every breath was harsher now as she got hit again. She heard the enemy soldiers shouting too, her own troop came to help her, to allow her to retreat while she saw each time more soldiers mix up before her eyes. - The fire roared before Violet’s eyes, the tent safe, but the sand did little to let the fire die.

Her lungs burnt with the smoke that filled them with each breath, her punches felt slower now, the smoke stinged her eyes as she felt that her body failed to respond to her – She was getting dizzy, she blamed it on the high temperature that came from the fire, as she strikes again, she felt the sharp pain of being hit with a rifle over her hip, she fell to the ground, one of her hands shot to touch the spot and she was met with a warm feeling, liquid. “That’s funny... I thought I forgot my flask.” She thought to herself, but then her next heartbeat made her see white, her vision blurred more as she heard the voices of soldiers distantly.

She tried to lift her head; to push herself up again, her body wasn’t responding to her orders anymore. - Stupid explosions. - Violet thought as she tried to fight the people grabbing her by her arms. She tried to push herself up again, every single muscle in her body protested, as she gritted her teeth and tried again, she forced her body halfway up before she once again felt hands over her arms and shoulders, then realized that she was laying on her back now, the dust of the ground now dragged against her back, the breeze brushed against Violet’s cheeks as she heard the faint voices of soldiers.

“Keep her alive.” A soldier asked, the voice sounded like Loris, but she couldn’t quite tell it apart from others, they sounded distant, she could see the fire getting further away. She could see the shadows of soldiers from her troop still go back to the fire to retreat other soldiers as she fought to release herself again. “Major, don’t move! - You’re bleeding!” One of the soldiers advised as he dragged Violet from the battle. Violet stayed still for a second, frozen in thought as she once again as an instinct reached to touch her side, then pulled it back, slick and darkened with the sight of red blood - That wasn’t her flask dripping it seemed. - For a moment she just stared, her eyes took a moment to register the color, it was too dark to be real, too slick to belong to her, but the warmth of it made her realize. - Ah, so that was what the heat was. - “Huh.” She said, almost amused as she realized it. “I guess I am.” She said as she heard someone curse.

Her body felt weaker for a moment. “Keep him awake! We need to get him into the med tent.” A soldier ordered, while Violet’s hand now clutched her uniform, her vision started tunneling as her adrenaline went down. The shouting started growing distant, her ears ringing as the weight of exhaustion came back to her, she tried to say something else – Maybe a joke or an order as she was dragged into the medical tent – The words died before reaching her lips, as she tightened her hand over her uniform, and stared at the sky, wondering if Caitlyn would look at it and think of her too.

The sky above her started blurring, the smear of gray moonlight crept up between the smoke. Violet thought of Caitlyn’s hands, the soft smell of tea and flowers Caitlyn always had, and how they used to trace the same sky sometimes, waiting for the stars to come up – They would come up soon, if Violet could only stay awake for a little longer, she might catch the first one.