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It’s one of those dreams again.
The ones that make The Girl wake up with a gasp and a dry mouth, the ones that keep. Happening.
It doesn’t matter what the dream’s about, it always results in her waking up with a jolt and they always happen.
Like about a week ago, The Girl dreamed that Kobra crashed his bike into a BL van, the dream was still so clear when she woke, those dreams always are.
3 days ago Kobra ripped a hole in his tire and careened straight into the cockpit of the white vehicle.
He was fine, thank the Witch, if anything The Girl was the most affected of everyone, watching Ghoul and Jet half drag him back into the diner, swearing the whole time, all three of them laughing about the stupidity, the relief that comes when you know someone’s OK.
Poison had appeared a moment later, pulling the remains of the bike behind them, they had leaned down to kiss The Girl on her forehead, assured her everything was fine, and went to make dinner.
That dream had been bad. The smell of tarmac, the sound of metal crashing into metal, ash, fire red like Poison’s hair that The Girl loves so much.
This one is worse.
The Girl watches, she can’t do anything but watch, only half aware that she’s dreaming, that this isn’t real.
Korse holds a gun to Poison’s neck, their head is tilted up, mask off.
(this is a mission, why would they take their mask off?)
The Girl feels someone pull on her, everything is underwater, there’s a shot.
All she can focus on is Poison, jaw set, eyes locked on the man who has a gun to them, one hand over their stomach, their shirt is stained.
The Girl thinks she screams, maybe “Poison!”, maybe “Mama!” maybe just a pure animal sound, a baby bird calling for her mother to come back and feed her.
Poison’s eyes jerk away from the man, The Girl is distantly aware that she’s being pulled away, away from Poison.
She wants her mama, why won’t they Let her go?.
Poison looks away for a moment, above her, and nods to the best of their ability with the gun underneath their chin.
The Girl thinks she screams again.
Poison turns and smiles at her, against all odds. The Girl sobs. Their eyes are dry and full of love. They wink at The Girl, mouth curled up into a half smile, like when Ghoul did repairs on clothes, the string pulling the fabric into a bunch of ridges before it was relaxed.
Someone pulls The Girl away and she can’t see Posion anymore.
There’s a bang, despite the legs blocking her and the arms trying to shuffle her away she still sees bright red hair falling forward, Korse standing up.
The Girl doesn’t wake up in a cold sweat, in the desert waking up cold would be a luxury, instead she wakes up tangled in her blanket, hair all over and half in her mouth, sleep shirt bunched and sticking to her armpits uncomfortably. Her eyes are damp.
She pushes herself off the bed, the usually annoying creaks are somewhat reassuring, almost making her smile.
Half tripping because of the blanket, she makes a thump sound when she hits the ground, throwing and kicking off the offending fabric while grumbling a word she heard from Ghoul yesterday.
Finally freeing herself from her soft prison she pushes open her bedroom door into the main area of the diner, it creaks again and she grimaces.
The Girl is the only one who gets an actual room, a former cold storage room that the diner must have used, its been repurposed, behind the counter it offers her the best protection in the event of a firefight, besides the lack of windows to climb out of.
Everyone else sleeps wherever they can, there’s no specific spots because of the travellers they frequently get, but since its just the five of them for now everyone has spaced out. It takes The Girl a minute of surveying the dark area to find all of them.
Jet has curled half in the hallway that leads to the bathrooms, head pillowed on an old tarp, legs stretched out in front of him.
Ghoul and Kobra sleep closest to the door, one hand on their rayguns, The Girl steps around the two to get to Poison.
Poison is curled up in one of the booths, moonlight spilling in and making their hair shine, head down and one arm flung off the seat, the other being used as a pillow.
The Girl hesitates for a moment, she knows Party doesn’t sleep well, and they look so peaceful.
She closes her eyes and for a minute their hair flashes in her brain, just like now, spilling over and covering their face.
She half sobs and tries to cover it with a hand. Poison stirs anyways because of course they do and The Girl gives up on being subtle. She grabs their shoulder and shakes.
Poison grumbles a bit but stops immediately when they see her face, still tangled in the sort of pretzel shape they were sleeping in, their eyes immediately soften with worry and they push their hair away to get a better look at her.
“Hey baby, what’s wrong?”, they unfold their legs so they’re properly sitting and cup her face in between their hands.
The Girl fully sobs then, grabbing both of Poison’s wrists with her hands. Their reassuring smile disappears and they immediately lean forward to wrap their arms around her.
The two of them rock back and forth there for a minute, The Girl’s cries eventually becoming sniffles and hiccups buried in Poison’s shoulder.
“You wanna talk about it?” They whisper, The girl shakes her head violently and burrows deeper into Poison’s shoulder, into her mama’s shoulder. Poison sighs.
“Bad dream?” They’re only half asking, they both know there’s only one reason The Girl would only wake up Poison.
She hesitates for a moment but then nods.
“Alright, well you need rest and you aren’t doing it here”. They suddenly lift her up with both arms, half throwing her over their shoulder as they stand.
The Girl squeaks and grabs their shoulder hard, Poison grunts as they step over Ghoul and Kobra.
When they make it back to The Girl’s cold storage room Poison drops her on the bed.
A momentary fear takes over her brain, that Poison is going to leave her here to go back to the nightmare land, that they’re gonna leave her, that she’s gonna get left behind by her mama again.
There’s a bang, despite the legs blocking her and the arms trying to shuffle her away she still sees bright red hair falling forward, Korse standing up.
“Sh, sh sh,” The Girl doesn’t even realize Poison’s talking, too stuck in her memory of her dream of…
What was the dream of? The future? Witch she hopes not, but her track record isn’t helping her anxiety.
“I’m just getting the blanket baby, you’re not getting left alone, I'll stay with you baby.” Their voice is soothing and there and alive and The Girl can’t help thinking of the raids they have planned, of Korse, of their hair falling over their face, their slumped body.
No’ they’re here right now, they’re alive.
Poison is alive.
Soon enough the blanket is thrown over her and she feels the corner lift up so Poison can lay down on the too-small bed. The Girl immediately squashes herself into their chest, their arms wrapped around her small frame.
Here, against them, cradled like a little baby, like she was when the Killjoys first found her, The Girl can feel their lungs expanding and contracting, a scratchy uneven feeling.
She sighs, finally feeling comfortable.
They stay like that for a long time, when finally The Girl’s fear that she’s been pushing down gets the better of her.
“Mama?” She says it quietly in case they’ve fallen asleep.
Poison hums in response, still awake, The Girl squirms a little bit, unsure.
Finally she just blurts it out, twisting her body to look at Poison’s face, half lidded eyes and one quirked eyebrow.
“What happens when you die?” Both of Poison’s eyebrows shoot up their forehead, they think for a moment, clearly unprepared for this conversation at this time of night.
“Well-uh,” They start, eyes darting around the room and finally settling back on The Girl before they start speaking again. “The Pheonix Witch comes and takes you away, and your loved ones can send you things through the mailboxes and your body-”
She cuts them off with a headshake. “No, no what’s gonna happen when you die”. She stresses the “you” after a moment of hesitation she finishes the question. “To me, when you leave”.
They make a soothing little crooning noise at her and brush one hand through her curly hair. “Aw sweetie, it’s ok, if i die and you can’t take care of yourself you’ll still have Kobra and Ghoul and Jet and everyone else”.
“But you’ll be gone!” She’s crying again, Poison’s eyes widen, clearly recalculating how to make her feel better.
“Baby I’m never gonna leave you, when I die i’ll just go to the stars and the satelittes and watch over you from there ok? I’m always gonna be with you.”
They stroke their fingers through her permanently tangled hair, “Why are you even thinking about that baby?”
The girl opens her mouth, maybe to tell the truth, maybe to lie but in the end she just shakes her head again and buries back into Poison’s chest, they sigh.
“Well you don’t have to think about that okay baby?”
She nods. They hum before continuing.
“I’m not going to die, not for a long long time.”