Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

He opened his eyes.

The house was dark, or rather, dimly lit. The lightbulbs were bare and gave off a subtle golden glow, which, to Jax’s minimal knowledge of the lighting industry, meant they probably weren’t LEDs.

At first, it was quiet. The only discernable sounds were drops of rain bouncing off a tin roof and a light buzz from the air conditioning. He thought he might be alone on this one. It wasn’t his ideal solo adventure, a little too calm and cozy for his taste, but it was better than…

Well, maybe not better than nothing, he wasn’t sure if he’d hold up being completely on his own for this one, but he’d have to see.

A loud crash sounded from another room, taking him out of his thoughts before he could spiral.

“Hello?!” he called into the house.

Jax tapped his foot, waiting for a response.

“Jax? Is that you?”

He recognized that voice. The slight sing-songy cadence, the somewhat harsh enunciation of his name, the way it dripped with false positivity, coated in a smile threatening to bring an end to its wearer if it cracked for a second.

Of course, the first person he ran into was the doll.

Out of everyone in the cast- crazy, whiny, mix match, goddamn Pomni, it had to be her.

“Never mind, I don’t care,” he did not want to talk to her. He did not want to see her, he hated her, she was incredibly annoying, her positivity got on his nerves, and he would rather die than be stuck with her for the whole adventure.

He muttered to himself, turning to the hallway.

Maybe someone less repulsive was hiding in another room.

)(“”)(
The storm was beginning to pick up. Lightning began to dance around the clouds, briefly painting the outside in a silvery light. The thunder followed, and while it only presented itself in low rumbles, it threatened to become louder. Jax did not want to deal with that. Back in the real world, he wasn’t a huge fan of thunderstorms- he wouldn’t allow himself to admit the thunder scared him, it didn’t, that would be stupid; they were just generally annoying. However, the sensitive hearing of his rabbit avatar made the thunder worse. The already loud sound got connected to a speaker at max volume, and it made him jump every time.

And as if the adventure’s weather wasn’t painful enough, Dollface was with him.

Only Dollface.

No one else.

He’d searched the entire house- which appeared to be a small log cabin- and he found no one else.

Caine had said they would be divided into groups, but Jax was expecting groups of three rather than two.

What was the point of this adventure, anyway?

“This is stupid,” he grumbled.

Jax had chosen the bathroom as his shelter. He figured he’d last the whole adventure here, if it wasn’t too long. It was cozy, at least, as cozy as a bathroom could be. It didn’t have any windows and the door locked. As long as he was in there, he wouldn’t have to talk to her.

Thunder let its presence be known, reminding him that “out of sight, out of mind” didn’t apply to everything.

He leaned against the back of the shower, letting out a dramatic sigh. As much as he enjoyed the higher stakes adventures, he needed a break after… everything.

They’d lost too many people recently. Two abstractions in a year, a new record for sure. Kaufmo had been showing signs of insanity for a while, but they’d figured if he’d made it this long, much like Kinger, he’d be fine. The incoherent rantings about exits and terrible dad jokes were annoying, but not necessarily a cause for concern. From what Jax and the others could tell, the clown had always been a bit off his rocker.

It wasn’t until R-

“Shut up,” he shook the name out of his head.

It wasn’t until a few months ago that the clown went off the deep end. He’d become agitated, his temper cut short, his humor… he must’ve been trying to go for dark humor, but it just came across as a caricature of an edgy 14-year-old. He’d started locking himself in his room, not showing up for the adventures for days at a time. Sure, Ribbit’s abstr-

He turned his thoughts away from the name once again.

That… that thing had been hard on everyone, but the way it affected Kaufmo was different. He became a recluse, though Jax couldn’t exactly blame him; he’d done the same, though he didn’t lock himself in his room all the time. He figured between the desperate search for an exit and the hours set in self-imposed solitary, the clown had officially snapped.

What about the one before that, though?

“No,” he muttered.

He heard drawers being opened and slammed shut a few rooms away. Must be Ragatha. Goddamn Ragatha.

He didn’t want to think about her, either.

He didn’t want to think about her forced smile, her intoxicatingly happy tone, her ability to be optimistic no matter the circumstances, the way she’d snap out of her archetype just to piss him off, the way it worked.

He sighed, realizing that, once again, she was working her way into his thoughts.

…

He needed to purge his brain of all names beginning with the letter “R.”

Thunder cracked again, louder this time.

In his attempts to find literally anything else to think about, he stumbled back to his original question:

What in hell was this adventure supposed to be about?

After everything, he figured Caine had given up on team building things. It either ended in worse relationships than before or violence. Not that Jax minded the latter, he just preferred when the adventures got straight to the chaos rather than attempting to navigate around it.

He wouldn’t call it a coping mechanism; he was Jax, what did he have to cope with? But he found the violent adventures to be a nice distraction from things that were currenting poking at the wall he’d crudely set up in his brain.

A wall that was threatening to come down at any moment now.

As the lights flickered, he began to wish he’d constructed that wall a little better.

“S--t,” he glared at the bare bulb as it flickered like a dying flame.

The light held onto its glow for a few seconds long, before going completely dark, the only sign it had ever been on being the afterimage burned into Jax’s retinas.

There was a soft thud in another room, followed by a frustrated sigh.

What on earth was she doing?

He considered getting up to check, but the darkness fell over him like a weighted blanket, preventing him from getting up. The buzz of the air conditioning had faded into the back of his mind, but its absence was incredibly loud. It was replaced by the rain, which was coming down in sheets, crashing onto the roof like ocean waves, almost rhythmic yet noticeably offbeat. The sound caused him to strain his ears, searching for a pattern where there was none.

He knew he was focusing on the rain to avoid other things. Rain didn’t have rhythm, that’s not how it worked; the main thing that bugged him is that this rain was trying to have one.

Someone knocked on the door.

Ragatha.

“What,” he rolled his eyes.

“Hey,” her voice was muffled by the door, “you good?”

“I was doing fine, then the li- then you showed up,” Jax glared in the direction of the door, knowing even if it were open the darkness would prevent her from seeing him.

She paused, “…Alright. If you, uh, need anything, I’ve got some candles in the kitchen,” her tone was tinted slightly by hurt, but he didn’t…

Candles! He could use one of those right now.

The light could push away the weight of the dark, the shroud from his surroundings, the tendrils from his walls.

He heard sad, shuffling footsteps. They sounded too similar to…

The ones he heard on that day.

He tried to push the thought away, but it kept coming back, snaking through the cracks of his already crumbling wall.

)(“”)(

Jax approached the door of his friend. Their photo hung over him like an omen, he felt uneasy just looking at it. He hesitantly rang the doorbell.

He heard a shuffling sound near the door, but it didn’t open.

“Caine’s cancelled the adventure today,” Jax spoke, his voice faltering slightly.

“Is that so?” they responded.
“Yeah, you can… you can come out of your room now,” he sighed, knowing they probably wouldn’t want to come out after yesterday’s fiasco.

His friend didn’t respond.
“Ribbit?” he said, trying to get their attention.

“Yeah?” they sounded disinterested. He decided to change the subject.

“It’s, uh, raining, if you… wanna check that… out,” he winced at the way he’d put that.
“Can’t,” they said bluntly.

“Why? There’s nothing else to do.”

“Busy.”
“With what!?” Jax pressed.

“Leave me alone.”

Jax froze. Ribbit’s words poked at his stomach in a rather unpleasant way. He was concerned, a little hurt, though mostly concerned. Ribbit did not act like that.
“Why? What-“

Ribbit cut him off, “Jax. Just… go. Talk to Ragatha, I don’t care, just leave.”
“Is this about-” he felt sob trying to break out from his throat.

They sighed, “No.”

“Why-“
“GO.”

Jax bit his lip. Ribbit rarely got mad. They didn’t yell or snap at anyone, other than maybe Caine a few times.
“Ok…” he stepped away from the door, torn between going to check on his friend or leaving so he wouldn’t piss them off more.

He should’ve checked on them, hell, he would’ve, but something shifted within him. The hurt of Ribbit’s words slowly ate away at his concern, until he found himself walking down the hall to his room.

He should’ve gone in to check on them.

)(“”)(

The darkness was suffocating. It wrapped around his neck and slowly tightened its grip. The raindrops crashed against the roof. Thunder cracked, louder than it had ever been before, causing his ears to ring. He couldn’t do this anymore, he needed to see, why wouldn’t his eyes adjust, why why WHY-

He shoved the shadowy blanket off him, broke away from the vines, and sprinted for the door. Practically knocking it down, he fell into the hall.

A soft glow came from what must be the kitchen, vague shadows danced within it. It called him in, like a siren song, only without sinister undertones.

He rounded the corner and entered the kitchen, taking in the soft glow of tea lights. A mixture of scents filled his nostrils, hints of lavender and pumpkin spice, creating a horrible hybrid of spring and fall smells. It didn’t matter; the light was all he cared about.

Ragatha sat by the counter, the candlelight illuminated her frame. She was facing away from him, her head buried in what appeared to be a book she’d brought on the adventure. She didn’t do that often- bring a book with her, that is. She seemed unbothered by the ongoing storm outside, even as the lightning’s silvery flash broke up the candles glow.

A sudden crack of thunder caused him to jump, giving his presence away.

“Hey!” she turned around, smiling slightly.

Jax blinked, unresponsive.

“Uh… are you alright?” she stood up, walking towards him. He remained in the shadowy area of the room, glancing at the bright scene ahead of him. Part of him wanted to go back to the bathroom, another part warned him that, if he did go back, he’d be trapped again.

“Eh,” he managed to shrug, voice cracking slightly. Was he shaking? He was starting to notice he was shaking. Shit.

Ragatha tilted her head, taking another step in his direction. The candles cast a spotlight behind her, outlining her in a truly enchanting way. He blinked.

“I-” he coughed, realizing how long it’d been since he’d used his voice, “I’ve been worse.”

She frowned at that, causing him to immediately regret his words. He shouldn’t have said anything, now he looked like a wimp. It was just a storm.

He was fine.

He should be fine.

She reached for his wrist.

Why wasn’t he fine?
“Are you alright?” Ragatha asked again, pulling him gently toward the candlelight.

No.

“I…” he glanced back to the shadows, “don’t… know…”

Her expression shifted, worry filling her eyes.

She led him into the kitchen, offering him a seat next to her. To his surprise, she didn’t press the question further. They sat in near silence, accompanied only by the sound of rain and pages turning. Ragatha’s shoulder brushed against his, and he subconsciously leaned against it. She looked over at him briefly, a hint of confusion in her glance, but she didn’t seem to mind. He expected the whole interaction to go much worse, but it was strangely peaceful. The candles’ wavy movements had a rhythm to them the rain had lacked. He focused on it, growing drowsy.

Ragatha turned to him, smiling slightly, the candlelight reflecting in her eyes.

“If you want to take a nap, you can. I’ll wake you up when the adventure’s over.”

Jax nodded, too tired to question her. The candlelight left a warm blanket over him, a more comforting one than the one the darkness had wrapped him in. He felt safe.

He rested his head against the counter, the surface cool against his cheek. He felt soft hands run through the fur on his head. Purring slightly, a sound he did not enjoy making though couldn’t fight now, he drifted off.

He was safe now.

Chapter Text

)(“”)(
Jax

)(“”)(

Stalks brushed against each other in the breeze, creating a harmony of hushed whispers and raspy breaths. Their cobs bumped into each other, added an eerie beat to the horrid choir.

The maize seemed to warp and wrap around itself, creating a labyrinthine field that had no exit whatsoever. Jax’s paws thumped against the ground, leaving small clouds of dust in his wake.

He needed to get out of that damn maze.

He rounded another corner and came face to face with a dead end.

“F—k!”

He snapped back around, knowing he was probably going in circles. When was this adventure going to be over!?

Left,

Dead end.

Turn around, right,

Dead end,

Go back, run in a line,

Dead

End

Rinse

Repeat

Fucking

HELL

“ARGH!” he stomped, kicking up more dust. He wasn’t even scared anymore; he was just furious.

And, so,

so exhausted.

He collapsed to the ground, cursing Caine and his shitty adventure ideas. He just needed a break.

Just a short nap.

He looked around his cage, taking in the sounds of his nightmare’s choir once more.

Yeah, he wasn’t falling asleep here.

His eyes wandered down the wall of corn.

Wait, was that turn always there?

He shakily stood up, worried his legs would give out after all the running.

Maybe…

He looked down the hallway of cornstalks, expecting to be met with another dead end.

He was not.

He was greeted by a swirling, marble-esque mirror.

“Finally,” he breathed a sigh of relief, stumbling towards the portal.

)(“”)(

“I hope you all enjoyed my little adventures; I worked very hard on specializing each and every one of them!” Caine shouted, his voice loud and excited with an undertone of desperation.

“You put me in a mirror maze, how is that even remotely related to facing my fears!?”  Zooble shouted, a shard of glass stuck in their eye.

“Jeez, how many mirrors did you run into?” Jax attempted to make a jab at them, but he was still gasping for air.

“What the f—k happened to you?” Zooble looked him up and down.

“Wouldn’t you like to know, mix n’ match?” he rolled his eyes, turning his attention to the other cast members. They seemed a little frazzled, but aside from a few stray burger paddies (did Gangle get stuck at Spudsy’s again?) and a few bruises, they seemed fine.

Not that he cared.

Not about them, at least, he admitted to himself, albeit begrudgingly, Where’s Ragatha?

His gaze turned to the doll, who was standing a good distance away from the others.

Her eyes seemed glazed over, as if she’d just been to the pits of hell and the nightmare was replaying in her head. She looked to be on the verge of tears- no, she’d been crying, and was trying to keep the floodgates from reopening. She stood still, arms limp, knees wobbly, about to collapse.

What… happened?
What did Caine do?

What did he do to her?!

He turned to glare at Caine, who was finishing his ramble about how he would avoid doing fear-based adventures from this point forward (which was a lie Jax knew all too well).

“Welp, I better get a move on! See you around, my petite pangolins!”

“What?” Pomni blinked.

“I’m…” Jax glanced over at Ragatha, who was already walking upstairs, “I’m gonna take a nap.”

)(“”)(

Ragatha

)(“”)(

Still as she stood in her pale blue room, everything seemed to drip with movement. The walls seemed to close in and fall at the same time, the floorboards drifted around. The ceiling light was too bright, yet the shadows clawed at her surroundings.

She fell to the ground, letting loose a loud sob she’d been holding onto for the past 4 hours.

How had he known…

She’d only brought up her mother once, during the lightning round, and she didn’t go into much detail.

How did he get so close? Close to… everything?

Her mother’s sharp nails, auburn curls, and neat dress wrapped up in harsh words and sealed with a bruise. The only notable difference was the sharp angles of her face, which were covered in a crudely stitched patch.

She looked down at her arms, noting the cut her mother’s claws had left. Another mark, one of many she’d left on her childhood.

She knew somewhere out there, her real self was covered in them. Though most weren’t physical, she felt them all the same. Imperfections she hadn’t noticed until her self-proclaimed caretaker pointed them out, a fog over her face she was forced to smile through,

the smile itself.

All that and more, yet she couldn’t allow herself to hate the woman because she’d done the bare minimum for parenting. Any time she got close to feeling rage, her mother’s voice echoed in her head.

Ungrateful bastard, who do you think you are?

Ragatha let out another sob, curling into a ball on the floor.

How could she continue to do this, have this effect on her, even though they were on different plains of existence?

Her vision grew foggy, blocking out the surreal visuals of her room.

She couldn’t take this anymore.

)(“”)(

There was a hand on her shoulder.

“Rags? You alright?”

A long-eared shadow loomed over her, blocking the glare of the ceiling light.

“Jax? Is that you?” she croaked, rubbing remaining tears from her eyes.

“No, it’s the boogeyman,” he rolled his eyes, before shaking his head, “Sorry, yes, it’s me.”

She sat up immediately, “Are you alright? Do you need anything?”

Jax studied her for a moment. His expression lacked any bravado he normally carried, instead, it read as mostly concerned.

“No,” he crouched down beside her, “just… checking in.”

Why? Since when did he care?

“You seemed a little dazed, is all,” he continued, noticing her confusion, “Also, I, uh, figured I could, like, repay you for yesterday’s adventure?”
She nodded slowly, recalling the events of the infinitely less nightmarish adventure. She’d gotten to catch up on some reading, while Jax spent the latter half of it asleep next to her. Poor guy had been petrified.

“Oh, right. How’ve you been doing since… that?” Ragatha tried to change the subject; she knew Jax, or, at least, she was pretty sure she knew him, and if he and all his disdain for her had noticed something wrong after today, then someone else surely had. She didn’t want to worry anyone.

If someone else noticed, they would’ve come, too, an annoyingly loud voice in her head reminded her.

“Fine, it was just a storm, that’s not the problem,” he sighed, “You… clearly aren’t fine,” he looked at her arm, “yeesh, what happened?”

She put her hand over it instinctively, “Nothing! It- I just-“ her voice cracked, cutting her sentence short.

“You want me to sew it?” he gently pulled her hand away from the cut, examining it more closely.

She hesitated, “Can you sew?”

“A little,” he shrugged, searching the room for a sewing kit, “it’s not a huge cut, I should be able to fix it.”

That’s how she always left them, Ragatha bit her lip, small and easy to brush off as an accident.

“My kit’s in my nightstand,” she said at last, gesturing towards it. Jax retrieved it and began his work.

Despite the cut’s small size, he still worked slowly, as if he was afraid to mess up. He handled her with care she didn’t think he possessed.

The needle stung slightly, causing her to wince.

“Sorry,” he mumbled, continuing to sew.

He finished after a few minutes, examining his handiwork.

“You’re pretty good at this,” she traced over the stitches. They weren’t neat by any means, but they weren’t incredibly jagged, either.

Silence hung over them, as they sat there on the floor. Her shag carpet scratched slightly at her legs. She glanced around, fidgeting with her hands. Jax scooted closer to her.

He cleared his throat, “So… how did you get that cut?”

“I… caught it on something on the adventure! Nothing serious, don’t- don’t worry about it,” she plastered a reassuring smile on her face, trying to change subjects again.

“You’re a terrible liar. You know that, right?” he said, blatantly unimpressed.

“No, I’m not lying! I swear, I’m not!”  she subconsciously grabbed her arm again.

“Your voice does a weird thing when you lie, you slow down then speed back up and it gets high pitched on the last syllable,” he gestured vaguely.

“It does not,” she huffed.

“Yeah, it does,” he crossed his arms, “Now will you tell me what happened or are you going to repress it like everything else?”
She frowned, contemplating whether she should tell him or not. On one hand, it’d be nice to vent to someone who wouldn’t immediately forget about it after she was done, on the other…

Would he use this against her later?

It was a stupid thought, but… could she trust him?

He’d sewn her back up, sure, but that was just basic human decency.

…a trait she thought he lacked.

“Promise you won’t say anything?” she asked cautiously, “to, uh, the others?”

“Promise,” he said. He seemed completely serious.

“Caine… uh…” she bit her lip, unsure of how to proceed, “I…”

She hadn’t noticed she’d been fighting tears, not until they came spilling out again. She pulled her knees up to her chest and buried her face in them, letting out quiet sobs. Jax didn’t say anything; He awkwardly patted her back, seemingly unsure of what to do.

“Take your time,” he said at last, attempting to be reassuring.

She took a shaky breath and sat back up again, tears still streaming down her cheeks.

“He put my mother on… my adventure...” she sniffled.

Jax’s face fell, “I’m going to kill him,” he muttered, mostly to himself.

“It wasn’t that bad, I-” she waved her hands around frantically.

“Rags,” Jax placed his hands on her shoulders, turning her to face him, “be honest.”

“It… wasn’t… good… either… I guess. She has sharp nails… I… swear, it was nothing terrible, just-”

Jax’s face was riddled with anger.

“I’m sorry, I-” she began to panic again.

“No,” he shook his head once he realized the expression he was making, “No, no, no, I’m not mad at you, jesus f—king christ, Rags-”

He then did something she would likely never understand, or at least not understand for a while.
Something she never expected from him, touch averse as he’d been the past few years.

He gave her a hug.

He… held her.

Even though she was crying,

Even though she was a hot mess,

Even though their once clearly defined rivalry had become complicated as of late,

He held her.

She buried her face in his shoulder, wrapping her own arms around him, continuing to sob.

He didn’t let go.

He ran his hands through her hair, shifting where they were sitting to lean against the foot of her bed.

“I’m sorry,” Jax mumbled.

“Why?”  Ragatha adjusted herself, resting her head in the crook of his neck,

“A lot of reasons, I don’t have time to explain it all,” he pulled her closer, “everything, I don’t know. I’m sorry.”

She nodded, yawning slightly.

“Tired?” he asked.

“A little.” She admitted.
“Me too,” he yawned, “I’m gonna take a nap.”
She froze, “Wait…”
“Hm?”

“Please… don’t leave…”

He looked at her for a moment, a soft smile forming on his face.
“…Who said I was leaving?”

Chapter Text

What goes up must come down.

She wasn’t sure why that was the phrase she’d latched onto, as it did not apply to their situation at all.

The elevator would not go down. At least, not properly.

Hours had slipped by, slow, painful, and dense with anxiety, yet the only movement was the occasional downward jolt that sent them flying.

They hadn’t reached the bottom.

Emotions lathered atop one another like paint, first unease, then panic, followed by dread. A sliver of hope was painted onto the mess briefly, though it was soon covered by a thick layer of fear when the lights went out. These feelings mixed into a bluish color that she found herself surrounded by.

The elevator hadn’t moved in hours.

They were stuck.

…

…Stuck?

...no, no.

She was being silly.

It was just a glitch in the software, nothing serious.

Caine or one of their friends would come and get them!
Right?

They had to be coming soon, right?

Right?!

Ragatha took in the scene around her, as she’d done many times before. The walls of the elevator seemed to close in, shrouded in a watercolor-y darkness. It shifted in opacity, from near clear to deep blueish gray. And it sloshed around, moving slowly like a storm rolling in.

She wished she’d taken the stairs that day; she knew that the elevator was still in development, but… she couldn’t say no to Caine, so she agreed to be his lab rat.

Why can’t I just say no!?

Caine’s intentions likely weren’t sinister; she had to remind herself of that. He was just trying to make it easier for the cast to get to their rooms after particularly tiring adventures. He wouldn’t trap them in here on purpose, would he?

Would he?

She sighed, her gaze drifting back to the trembling, lavender form in her arms.

She shouldn’t have asked Jax to test the elevator with her. Now they were both stuck, and it was all her thought.

“Hey, at least we’re trapped together,” were his words when the elevator had initially halted its descent.

Looking at him now, curled up and shivering, she wondered if he still felt that way.

How did this keep happening?

“I’m sorry,” she whispered, her voice shaky and low.

“It’s fine, Rags,” he mumbled, sounding calmer than he has 15 minutes ago, though that barely registered in her mind.

“I’m sorry. If I hadn’t asked you to come, you’d be out on the adventure with the others right now, then only one of us would be stuck, that’d… that’d be better, right?” her breath hitched on the last words.

“It’s not your fault,” he said, “I-”

“Yes, it is,” she looked up at the ceiling. She’d practically memorized the damn thing, having looked over it again and again for an escape hatch. There was none.

Jax looked up at her, his head tilted slightly, “Doll…” any fear he might’ve been feeling had drained from his face and been replaced with… remorse? Something akin to that.

“I’m sorry,” she said with a shaky exhale.

“Hey, no, no, it-”

“I’m sorry, I- I don’t-” she was choking back tears, her shoulders shook with uneven breaths.

Jax sat up, “Ragatha, take a deep breath, it’ll be fine, the others- they- they’re gonna notice we’re missing eventually and-”

“They would’ve done that by now! They would’ve noticed, I shouldn’t’ve agreed to this! Now we’re gonna be trapped here and it’s all my fault,” she blathered, as Jax watched what little hope she had left crumble before his eyes.

)(“”)(

Jax stared helplessly as her apologetic rambling devolved into a mess of repeated words, tears, and incoherent sobbing. He wasn’t the best at comforting people, as far as he was aware. Not that he had much experience- he made people cry, stopping their tears was not on his resumé. He wasn’t sure what to do; talking helped last time, but that would be a challenge when she was talking in misshapen circles. He didn’t know how to calm her down.

“Ragatha.”

He was going to try his best, though.

“I shouldn’t’ve asked I should’ve just said no why can’t I just say no why wh-” her breathing had become erratic. and fat, hot tears were pouring down her face like a flash flood.

“It- Rags, look at me,” he cupped her crying face in his hands. She wouldn’t meet his gaze.

“I’m sorry,” she choked.

“Ragatha,” he attempted to brush a tear from her face, but at the rate they were falling it didn’t seem to do anything.

“I-”

“Ragatha, this isn’t your fault, ok?” he said firmly.

“No, it i-”

“No, no, shut up, can you listen for 5 seconds? Please?” when she didn’t respond, he proceeded, “Did you make this elevator?”

“…no,” she shook her head, “But-”

“Did you force me to join you?” he looked her in the eye, “did you drag me in here against my will?”

She didn’t respond.

“No,” he answered for her, “I came with you because I wanted to.”
“Yeah…” she sniffled, a smile forming on her face.

The elevator jolted at the worst moment possible, lowering them another foot or so. They really couldn’t get rest, could they?

The drop had flung him a few feet away from her, which was… just awesome.

Ragatha pulled on her hair, “Oh nonononono-”

Shit, she’s panicking again.

“Rags,” he crawled back over to her.

“What!?” tears were falling again.

Oh, Rags, he opened his arms- a wordless offer to hold her. She reciprocated with a quiet sob.
“This isn’t your fault, ok? Look, I know you’re freaked out,” I am too, he admitted, though only to himself, “and you have that weird people pleaser complex-”

“I do?” she tilted her head. He noted that her tears weren’t tumbling down as fast as before, so he continued.

“Yeah, a tiny bit- anyway- I know you think that you’re at fault for this, but trust me, you’re not. I’d be a lot angrier at you if you were.”

“Yeah?” her voice wavered slightly, but she was significantly calmer.

“Yeah,” he nodded.

)(“”)(

Jax was hugging her again.

She wasn’t sure how this had happened twice in one week. She was sure he wasn’t, either, but he didn’t seem to mind it.

The room didn’t get any brighter- calming down wouldn’t fix the lights- but the darkness was shifting less than before.

The elevator hadn’t moved since the last lurch downward, which was both a relief and concerning. On one hand, they weren’t being thrown around at the current moment, On the other, they weren’t any closer to the bottom.

“You good?” he asked quietly, running his finger through her hair.

“Are you?” Ragatha shot back, unsure of how to answer.

He rolled his eyes, “That’s not how this works, I asked first, you answer first. Don’t dodge it.”

“I don’t know,” she sighed, “I guess I’m alright, I’m not about to break down again, if that’s what you’re wondering.”
“I’ll be here if you do.”
“Thanks…” a smile tugged at her lips, “how are you?”
“Stuck with you,” he shrugged, “which I’m learning isn’t nearly as annoying as I thought it’d be.”
“Really?” she pretended to sound unconvinced.

“I guess.”
He rubbed his chin on the top of her head.

“You’re not freaking out anymore?” she asked after a moment, barely registering the gesture.

“That was over an hour ago, Doll, I’m fine. Seriously, you need to think of yourself sometimes.”

Ragatha nodded, “I know…”

“Alright, you got the first half down, now you need to actually do it,” he stroked her hair again,

“Ok,” she yawned.

He held her a little closer.

“…Jax?”

“Yeah?”

“Thank you.”
“…no problem, Rags.”

Chapter Text

It was one of those nights that seemed to fade in and out in an instant.

He was up before he’d even had the chance to sleep, the events of any hypothetical dreams he could’ve had disappeared into the fog. Dreamless nights seemed to have that effect on him; though he much preferred them to nights where he couldn’t sleep at all. Nights that passed in an instant meant he probably slept, which meant he wasn’t being kept up by something (more accurately, someone) haunting him like a scar.

Jax missed having dreams every night; they were a nice escape from the monotony of life at the circus. His dreams tended to be unpredictable, chaotic, interesting, and as surreal as the adventures were, they couldn’t compare to the things his brain came up with when he was unconscious. After a while, with the adventures, plots would blend together, NPCs would be reused, et cetera. Caine tended to step it up when a new person arrived, but eventually he’d run out of ideas and go back to simpler adventures. His dreams were always interesting; the adventures were mundane and exhausting.

Something about today’s adventure felt different, though, even before he knew what it was. He still got the vibe he would likely be exhausted afterwards, though there was still something about the vibe in the tent that was wrong. There was an eerie silence in the main room, putting him on edge long before the ringmaster had announced anything. He wasn’t sure where this feeling of dread had come from; no one was missing or anything like that. The atmosphere was just… off.

The crew chatted on and off, their conversation noticeably tainted by a similar uncanny feeling. He zoned out about half way through, but even then, the uncertainty and mild fear in their tones was audible.

Jax tuned back in when Caine showed up. The feeling of dread was rekindled by his sudden appearance.

“Hello, my hectic hive-insects!” Caine boomed with a little too much enthusiasm.

Jax flinched at the noise.

“Are you ready for today’s adventure?!” the pair of dentures clattered.

“Insects!?” Kinger said, late to zone in as per usual.

“No, Kinger. No. Anyone else!? Anyone...?”

“Eh…” Pomni shrugged.

Caine pouted, “Well… W-WELL! TH-THAT’S TOO BAD! Yo- thi-! Uh… AHEM!! Today’s adventure is… shoot. Hey, Bubble, what’s todays adventure?”
Bubble appeared more suddenly than Caine had, “Necromancy!”

“YES! Wait- no! No, not- not that-” he sighed, pulling out a notebook, “Today’s adventure is… OH! Bubble wasn’t too far off!”
“What?” Zooble said, their antenna twitching.

“You’ll see!”
“What do you mean, ‘we’ll see?’”

“IT’S A SURPRISE, GET IN THE FRACTAL NOISE! NOW!” he shouted.

There it was again, that feeling of indescribable dread.

“Wait, what?!” Jax tried to shout, before the portal cut him off.

The paranoia the entire group felt proved itself to be completely rational as he opened his eyes to…
To…

“What the f—k?” he heard someone- Ragatha? Really?- say.

He stared ahead, mind agonizingly blank, save for one thought.

How could Caine do this?

He didn’t particular trust the Ringmaster with anything, that’d be stupid. But…

They were dead.

These people were dead.

How could he do this? They’re dead.

Someone, likely Gangle, let out a squeak, “Is that…”

Thoughts came spilling into his head like ink from a broken pen.

These people are dead, abstracted, gone, why are they back!? Why would Caine do something like this!? These aren’t them, no, no, they’re not, they’re NPCs, they have to be, How could he make an NPC of a dead person? That’s messed up, no, no, no I can’t do this one, no, NO-

There was a of stalls ahead of them, each one inhabited by an abstracted cast member. They stood completely still in an A pose, waiting for interaction.

This was cruel.

“No,” he hissed, “What the f—k, absolutely not, no.”
“What the hell?!” Zooble turned to the now closed portal, ready to chew Caine out.

Ragatha walked over to Jax, who was still staring at the NPCs like they were a threat.

“Er… when can we… leave…” she winced, looking up to the dark ceiling. She didn’t seem to be expecting a response.

Caine’s voice sounded overhead, like an intercom, “What?! You- want to- WELL, at least give it 15 minutes-” a timer appeared overhead, counting down from 15, “-then you can leave, if you must. Though I highly sug-”

“OK! OK!” she yelled.

Jax did not want to stay here for 15 minutes. He wanted to go now.

Ragatha tried to lighten up the situation, like usual, “So… do you guys… wanna talk to them?”

“No,” he said.

“Wouldn’t some closure be nice?” Pomni interjected, “Even if it’s… not… like, real?”

“Says the girl who flirted with an NPC for 2 adventures,” he snapped.

“Jax,” Ragatha said his name with disappointment, “She might have a-”

“She does not have a point, I’m not talking to a chatbot of a dead person!” he exclaimed.

“I’m with Jax on this one,” Zooble shook their head, “this is sick. I mean, I didn’t expect much from Caine, but I figured this would be below him.”

“Yeah…” Gangle agreed.

“Alright, fine, let’s just… wait for the timer to run out,” Ragatha shrugged.

)(“”)(

The others had decided to walk around a little, as standing still was getting boring. Jax didn’t care to join them; he was fine where he was.

It wasn’t like he was trying to avoid someone, that’d be stupid.

He glanced at the timer.

Almost time to go, thank god.

“Just 2 more minutes,” he muttered, tapping his foot.

He glanced around the dark room.

The mannequin-like figures remained static.

He heard footsteps.

“Back already? You still got-”

“Two minutes.”

Maybe he spoke too soon.

His head snapped leftward at the familiar voice.

“What!?” Jax gasped.

“Don’t you remember me?” they said.

“You- you’re not supposed to- wh-” he coughed, words gargling in his throat.

“Go on, say it,” Ribbit hissed.

Their voice was wrong. Consonants weren’t emphasized correctly, vowels were drawn out, words fell flat and staticky, this was not their voice.

This was not them.
“You’re dead,” he breathed.

“And who’s fault is that?”

Mine, he thought, attempting to swallow his fear.

“Shut up.”
“Who’s fault is that, Jax?”

“Shut up.”
“Jax~” the NPC took a step towards him.

“You’re not them! YOU- YOU’RE NOT RIBBIT, GO AWAY!” he fell to his knees, tugging on his ears in a desperate attempt to drown out the voice.

“You can never take the blame for these things, can you?”

“GO AWAY!”
“Jax!?” more footsteps approached.

“GO AWAY GO AWAY GO AWAY GO AWAY-”

“Alright, fine, don’t answer,” the voice was directly over him now, “Coward.”

The portal opened and Jax bolted out of there before another word could be said.

)(“”)(

He was in his room somehow.
He didn’t remember getting there.

“Oh my god,” he collapsed onto the ground.

A whirlpool of thoughts swirled in his head, dragging him down and pinning him in the depths of his brain.

I should’ve stayed

 I should’ve gone into their room

 now they’re dead and it’s all my fault

 but that wasn’t them they’re dead

Caine turned them into a puppet how could he do this

 what is his problem

what possessed him to do this

 why

 why

why

 why

I can’t do this anymore

how can I keep doing this

I hate Caine

This is all my f-

“Jax?”
Someone stood at his door.

“Rags?” his voice felt distant even to him.

“Jax, what are you doing?”
“Huh?”

“Jax,” she took a step towa- how did she get over here so fast!?- “Jax, put the gun down.”

“What?” he looked at his hands, then at the revolver, which he vaguely remembered stashing away after a wild west adventure. He wasn’t pointing it at himself; he held it in a contemplative manner. How…

“How did…” he dropped the object with a clatter, the noise slowly pulling him back to reality, “that… huh?”

“Jax, are you alright?” her voice was soft as silk, dyed with noticeable concern.

“When… did…” his breathing hitched.

“Will you talk to me? Please?” she placed her hand on his shoulder.

He relaxed into the touch, “I don’t… know… Ragatha, what happened?”

“I don’t know either, I just found you in here. Do you remember anything?”
“I’m not an amnesiac, doll, I remember most of what happened. I just… don’t wanna talk about it yet,” with a sigh, he fell onto his back, gazing up at her.

Ragatha laid down next to him.

“Just kinda… zoned out, I guess,” he said eventually.

“Why?” she turned onto her side.

“One of the NPCs glitched out and started talking unprompted, or something,” he mumbled.

“Was it… them…?”

“…yeah, or, no, it looked like them, but it didn’t sound like them at all,” he swallowed a sob, “think, uh, Caine f—ked up their coding, or something. Overall, not a fun conversation.”
“That b-st--d,” she hissed.

“Ragatha!” his attempt to sound falsely disapproving was broken up by a chuckle.

“Sorry!”

“No, you’re good,” he laughed, a smile crawling across his face.

Silence took residence over them after that, though it was brief. She’d broken it as thoughts were threatening to pull him down again.

“It’s not your fault, Jax. I heard what they were saying, uh, they sort of disappeared when you left, but…” she frowned, wiping a tear from his face (when did-), “oh, I’m- I’m sorry-”

“No, no, it- it’s fine,” god, he looked pathetic, “On they day they… er… Look, I-I could’ve gone into their room, but I didn’t, and I think- I know if I had they might still be here right now. Maybe. Probably,” he turned away from her, trying to stop the tears.

“Why were you holding a gun?”

That was a great question.

He let out a shaky exhale, “I have no idea.”

“Are you sure?”
“Mostly.”

She paused.

“Do you want a hug?” she placed her hand on his shoulder again.

“…yeah…”

Chapter Text

It was one of those nights that seemed to fade in and out in an instant.

He was up before he’d even had the chance to sleep, the events of any hypothetical dreams he could’ve had disappeared into the fog. Dreamless nights seemed to have that effect on him, though he much preferred them to nights where he couldn’t sleep at all. Nights that passed in an instant meant he probably slept, which meant he wasn’t being kept up by something (more accurately, someone) haunting him like a scar.

He shuffled down to the common area, making sure to avoid the elevator. It’d supposedly been fixed since he’d gotten trapped in it with Rags, but he doubted it.

The air seemed to carry an uncanny silence to it, a silence that somehow was loud without having sound. The kind of loud silence he’d heard when the AC cut out a few adventures ago.

He didn’t care for it.

Jogging to the couches, he tried to focus on the sound of his footsteps rather than the lack of noise between them.

Ragatha sat at the end of a couch, dozing off slightly. He sat next to her, quietly, so as not to disturb her.

The other members trickled in slowly, first Kinger, then Pomni (by which point Ragatha had woken up), then Gangle, and eventually Zooble.

There was something off about the conversation they were having. Not the topic, Jax wasn’t paying attention to that, but there was something in how they were talking that seemed to put everyone on edge.

He, too, felt on edge. He felt as if he were being dragged back into some place, a place he couldn’t recall but he knew he didn’t want to go back to. A place made from shadows and a dense fog, frigid and isolating, dragging him and his loved ones, if he had any, in along with him.

He couldn’t let himself go back there- he couldn’t let himself bring anyone back there with him again. He’d lost someone already; he couldn’t lose anyone else.

“Jax, you alright?” Ragatha whispered, waving her hand in front of his eyes.

Her.

Oh, her.

He was beginning to regret getting this close to her.

“Huh?” he blinked, “Oh, ha, wouldn’t you like to know?”

“I would, actually,” she kept her voice low as not to alert the others, “You’re zoning out, you never do that. Is something bothering you?”
“Aw, look at that, you do care,” he rolled his eyes.

“Jax.”
“Rags, seriously, it’s nothing,” he yawned, “just tired.”
She frowned.

“Something seems off today, though,” he muttered.

Ragatha nodded, “Yeah.”
“Would you two be so inclined to tell us what you’re whispering about?” Zooble sighed, annoyance seeping into the end of their sentence.

Jax rolled his eyes, “No.”

Ragatha ignored him, “Something seems off, is all.”

“Uh huh… something between you and him or…”
“No,” Jax groaned, “the f—king air in here is screaming, or something. It’s weird.”

“Yeah,” Pomni chimed in, “there’s no music playing.”
“Is there normally music?” Ragatha laughed nervously.

Pomni nodded, “Yeah, though I guess since you guys’ve heard it for so long you don’t really notice it anymore.”

“Oh…” Gangle frowned.
That was it. There was definitely a playful, cartoony instrumental that was no longer playing over them.

“That’s… strange,” Zooble tilted their head.

“What’s strange?” Kinger blinked.

“DID SOMEONE SAY ADVENTURE!?” Caine jumped out from behind the couch.

Ragatha reached for Jax’s hand, and he hesitantly took it.

Pomni shakes her head, “No-”

He disregarded that, “TODAY’S ADVENTURE IS…”

There was a long pause.

“Wait… WAIT! It’s a surprise! I- I think you guys will reeeally like this one! I know how much you all miss your old friends, so… um… here! Go, get in the portal!”
“Caine, what is this?” Kinger said with a strange lucidity, one that Jax had only witnessed once or twice.

“That’s none of your concern, my chess piece friend!” Caine ushers them into the portal.

Ragatha lets go of his hand, entering the fractal noise. Jax begrudgingly follows, finding himself missing her warmth.

Oh dear.

He was getting too close to her, wasn’t he?

He was really starting to resent that fact.
This thought of getting too close was only amplified when he crossed the threshold into the adventure.

“What the f—k!?” Zooble hisses.

Rows upon rows of stalls shrouded in cloudy darkness, in each sat a-

No.

No no no no, they’re DEAD.

His arms hung limp at his sides.
How could Caine do this?!

His voiced drifted away from him, “What the h--l…”

The shells of their dead friends and lovers stood jarringly still, frozen, waiting for an interaction, no, confrontation.

This was a cruel joke.

“Ok, ok, let’s… let’s…” Ragatha walked over to Jax, reaching for his hand again. He did not reciprocate, much to her confusion.

Pomni stepped into the adventure, a look of horror on her face, “Caine, what the h—l is this!?”

The dentures popped his head through the portal, “Uh… it’s the adventure? Don’t you like it?”

“No...?” Gangle squeaked.

“Oh, well, that’s too bad, I don’t have a backup adventure, you HAVE to do it! GO! Talk to them! I- I tried to get them as close to how they were before they abstracted, so, um, go!!”
“Can we at least have the option to leave...?” Ragatha laughed nervously.

“Yeah, Caine, this is really insensitive,” Pomni frowned.

“What?!” Caine threw his hands up angrily, before sighing and snapping his fingers. A timer appeared, reading 15 minutes, “When that runs out, the portal will reopen and you can leave, though I HIGHLY suggest you-”

“OK! Gonna wait this out, see you when this bulls—t’s over,” Zooble stomped off, Gangle trailing close behind them.

Jax sighed, looking at the living people around him. Gangle and Zooble had found a quiet corner and were now whispering to each other (goddamn hypocrites), Ragatha was telling Pomni about the different cast members (without interacting with them, he noticed), and Kinger was sliding over to a Queen piece of similar design,

“Queenie?” his voice faltered. Jax couldn’t help but listen.

The Queen piece sprung to life, quite horrifically if you asked him, moving around like a puppet. Her movements seemed pre-planned, as were her words.

“Hello, Kinger,” Queenie spoke. Her voice sounded horrifyingly robotic.

“How’ve you been, hon?” the old man seemed to be completely unbothered by the uncanniness of…

Oh.

That’s his wife.

Pomni had mentioned Kinger having a wife a few weeks ago, now that he thought about it.

“D—m, that… sucks,” Jax muttered. He walked away, hearing their conversation carry on behind them.

“I’ve been fine. How are you?”
“Terrible without you.”

Jax moved a few rows down, inspecting the stalls. Some faces were familiar (he thought he saw Kaufmo for a second but immediately turned away on instinct), some he’d never seen before. One of the stalls, he noticed, was empty.

 …On top of that a certain frog he was avoiding wasn’t there.

He would feel relieved, but the dread that had nearly consumed him in the common area was returning, like a wasp hiding in his room.

Maybe Caine forgot?
Hopefully?
It wouldn’t explain the empty stall, but it would keep his mind at ease, and that was really all he needed here.

)(“”)(
“So… what’s your deal?” Jax approached a random NPC (he wouldn’t dare call them people, because these weren’t people; They were clones)- a worm on the string, from the looks of it.

“I’m Catty!”

Their voice was even squeakier than Gangle’s, somehow. Jax winced at the sound of it.

“Ah… So… Wha-”

“I’m a worm!”
Jax nodded, “I can see that.”
“Wanna hear about farming?”
“What!? No!” he backed away, watching the NPC return to its statuesque state.

He sighed, glancing at the timer.

“2 minutes?! Really!?” he refused to sit around with these mannequins for another second.

He sat down next to the empty stall, watching the area where the portal would likely open soon.

“Probably, if Caine isn’t lying out of his a—again,” he muttered, his gaze wandering back to the empty stall he sat by.

Who was supposed to be there?
He laughed to himself, the kind of laugh that is in no way funny, though maybe a little tired and very hysterical, because oh hell, of course he knew who was supposed to be there, he knew it in his heart if he had one, he just refused to admit it..

“Jesus f—king Christ,” he shook his head.

He looked around him, noting Kaufmo’s silhouette in a few rows away. Was he talking to Ragatha?

Oh my god, I don’t care, shut up, he turned back to the empty sta...

“Hey there!” a figure stood there now, eyes glowing dimly in the lowlight conditions.

“S--t!” he jumped back.

“What, didn’t wanna pay a visit to your old friend?” the amphibian smiled a little too hard.

“Psh… what… what the actual h--l?” Jax blinked, backing away.

Ribbit’s voice was even more wrong than Queenie’s, because at points it sounded almost exactly like them, but then it’d drop too low or let a syllable run on for too long. Their movements were jolted and delayed, like a defunct animatronic.

“Oh, don’t leave now! We wouldn’t want a repeat of last time!” they said, voice dripping with barely concealed hatred.

“…Ha, good one, yo-” he coughed, “You’re not real, though, you’re ju-”

“An NPC? A manifestation of your guilt? Or, oh, a glitch? Is that it?”

“First one, tadpole,” he hissed, though the other two didn’t sound too far off, “As I said, you’re not real.”

The frog’s face melted into one of false hurt- an overexaggerated pout, glossed over eyes, general disdain.

“You don’t feel guilty, do you, Jaxxy?”
“Don’t call me that,” his teeth clenched.

“You can never take the blame for these things, can you?”

Jax rubbed his eyes, hoping to… something that this was just a dream- no, a nightmare he was about to wake up from.

When he reopened them, the frog remained.

“And you can never shut up! YOU told me not to come in, remember!?” he snapped, wondering why he’d even considered he was dreaming for a second.

The timer beeped, 30 seconds left.

“You wanted to come in though, didn’t you? To check?”
Jax bit his lip.

“But you didn’t. What stopped you?”
“Shut up.”
“Stubbornness?”
“Shut up.”
“Fear?”
“Shut up.”
“Hatred?”
“I said shut it, frog.”
“You never cared did you?”
“…”
“Did you, Jaxxy?”
“Just SHUT-”

“Hey, Jax, what’s…” Ragatha stood behind him now, glancing between him and the frog, “…going on?” she said with a quizzical look on her face.

The timer beeped once more, and the portal opened.

Jax shook his head, “Tsk… nothing, don’t worry about it. I’m-” he took a step towards the portal, feeling his sanity cracking, “I’m gonna head out now.”
It took every ounce of strength not to take off running.

He walked out, the tent seemed encased by fog.

He walked up the stairs, the fog got thicker.

He was at his door, when did…

He fell onto the carpet in his room, the dense fog floating around him, trapping him in place.

The shadows seemed to crawl off the walls and wrap tight around his head.

The air seemed to fill with static.

The music that had been missing for some time now returned, crackly and distorted, filling his ears with horrid melodies and horrible memories.

He’d recounted that day too often, nearly every night it played on repeat before sleep mercifully took him. There were parts he’d managed to block out sometimes, such as the fight they’d had the day before Ribbit abstracted, but today they spiraled around him, dragging him into the depths of his mind.

He felt pinned down, unable to take in his surroundings, trapped in some sick version of a sensory deprivation tank.

He knew it was all his fault.

He should’ve gone in.

…

“What are you doing”

“Jax?!”

“JAX!?”

“JAX!!” someone shook his shoulder, pulling him out of wherever his mind had trapped him.

He tried to respond, but his voice refused to leave his throat.

“Jax, put it down, please.”
“Rags?” his voice sounded as if it were miles away, but hers rang clearer than ever.

Put… what down?

He glanced at his hands, spotting the metal object through his blurred vision.

When did he grab that?
The revolver felt like ice in his hands. He had no clue where he’d gotten it- probably from a wild west adventure or something in that vein. He held it gently, in a contemplative manner, his hands shaking slightly.

He threw it down, gasping, “When did that… when- what?! Ragatha, what’s going on!?”

Ragatha placed a firm hand on his shoulder, “Jax, were you trying t-”

“NO!” his voice rose with panic, “No, no, I don’t- I don’t think I was, I don’t know! I DON’T-” he cleared his throat, holding back a sob.

She spoke softly, “Jax, what were you doing?”
“I don’t know, I was lying on the floor and now I’m over here, what happened!?” he genuinely could not remember anything, “How long has the adventure been over?”
“Not too long, you left about… 7 minutes ago?” she frowned.

“When did you get here?”
“…5?”
“Oh…”

“I was screaming your name for 5 minutes,” she sounded concerned, “You don’t remember any of that?”
He paused, attempting to recount something, only pulling up blurry images.

“No...?” Jax shrugged, “I don’t… I mean, I vaguely remember the door opening…”
“Do you remember what happened on the adventure?” she asked tentatively.

“Yeah…” he shuddered, “unfortunately.”
“I’m sorry,” she wiped a tear from his face- when did- and continued questioning him.

“Do you remember what happened after?” she said.

“Not really?” his voice cracked, “I went up the stairs, then I was… at my door… then I was on the floor in here…”

Silence overtook them for a moment. He found himself leaning against her shoulder, trying his hardest not to break down.

“Do you wanna talk about it?” she cautiously wrapped her arms around him.
He shouldn’t… want this… this could only end horrible for her, he couldn’t let what happened to Ribbit happen to her.

He begrudgingly relaxed into her embrace, “not really… oh man, this is all my fault,” his breathing hitched.

“What do you mean?” Ragatha tilted her head.

“I- Don’t…” god, he sounded pathetic, “On the day they… er… Look, I-I could’ve gone into their room, but I didn’t, and I think- I know if I had they might still be here right now. Maybe. Probably.”

Ragatha looked at him, a hint of pity in her gaze.

“I look like an idiot, don’t I?” his laugh was strangled and dry, coming out as cough more than anything.
“Jax, it’s not your fault,” she said firmly, holding him closer.

“Yes, it is,” he mumbled.
“No it isn’t.”
“I think you should go,” he choked back a sob. His throat was beginning to hurt.

“Why?”
“I don’t want what… just go.”
“I don’t think that’s a good idea…”
“Rags,” he tried to sit up, to get away from her warmth, but he couldn’t bring himself to do it, “just leave when I’m asleep.”
“Are you… worried it’ll happen again?” she ran her hand through the fur on the back of his head.

“…yeah,” he admitted. Lying to her was getting harder.

“It won’t,” she assured him.

He shakily exhaled, “We don’t know that.”

She sighed, “We’ll talk about this later, you need to get some rest, ok? I’ll… go when you’re asleep, if you want.”

He shook his head.
“No… stay, we’ll… we’ll talk in the morning,” he sighed, closing his eyes.
She smiled, “Alright.”

)(“Mid chapter AN whoaahh hey there gang! So basically, I wanted to do the prompt for the 12^th, but I was doing early birthday stuff (I GOT TO PET A PENGUIN!!!) and then I had to drive back home so unfortunately, I didn’t get any writing done. I also kinda wanted to do today’s prompt so here’s a mixture of the two, sorry this took so long to upload guys lol. So, the prompts I’m (loosely) following for this bit are [12^th] “It’ll be for Nothing” and “Sacred Place”, as well as [14h] “In the end, it’s worthwhile” and “Wounded Caretaker”. Hope you enjoy!! (also this is in Raggy’s POV)”)(

The cool morning air hit her the moment she stepped outside. The ground was encased in dried leaves, and the sky was still waking up. Caine had cancelled the adventure for today, from what she’d heard, so he’d changed the weather up a little and let them explore the grounds. This wasn’t unusual, though he typically made it rain or snow. The autumn landscape was a nice change of pace.

On days like these, Ragatha liked to go up to the Cosmic Buffet and get something to drink (usually tea) and wander around the lake for a bit, taking in the scenery. But since Jax had disappeared that morning, she had other plans.

Leaves crunched under her shoes as she searched the grounds for the missing rabbit. He wasn’t in the tent, from what she could tell, and no one had seen him (though she was met with weird looks when she asked).

Stars began to twinkle out as the sun rose higher, dispelling night from the skies. The lake glimmered in the sunlight, leaving an afterimage in her eyes when she eventually looked away. The carnival was decorated with pumpkins and hay bales, adding to the fall feel.

Her gaze drifted to a hill by the tent, topped by a golden willow overlooking the lake. She’d gone there a few times before when things got more hectic than usual, it was the perfect place to pause and take a breath.

She caught a glimpse of lavender through the leafy curtains, clearly, she wasn’t the only one that thought that.

“Hey,” she pushed some of the droopy leaves aside, stepping into the willow.

Jax nodded absentmindedly, watching the lake’s weak waves attack and retreat from the shore.

Ragatha quietly sat near him, “How are you?”

He mumbled a response, something along the lines of “Pretty good, I guess.”

“Ok…” she began to wonder if she should bring up last night. They’d agreed to talk about things in the morning, but…

He watched her fidget for a second, an unreadable expression on his face.

“Is there something you wanna talk about?” he sounded incredibly exhausted.

She nodded awkwardly, “er… yes, actually, there is.”
“Cool,” he sighed.

“You’re worried what happened to… them will happen to me,” she stated.

Jax shrugged, “I guess?” a glimmer of worry in his eyes betrayed his apathy.

“Is there a reason why you think that…?” she pressed on.

Jax’s ears lowered as he thought about it. His expression was still hard to read, she wondered if he had fully woken up yet.

“I think you should go,” he said at last.

“Huh?” where did that come from!?

ONo, she knew where it came from, but she still didn’t know why. She might never know why at this rate, since he refused to explain anything.

“Rags,” he frowned, “Y-”

“No, no, no, I heard you,” she crossed her arms, “Why… why do you keep doing that? Every time someone starts actually getting close to you, you push them away. First it was Kaufmo, then Pomni, and- look, at first, I was just going to keep letting you do it since you were grieving, but honestly, Jax, this can’t be good for you, Y-”

She tried to sound as calm as possible, but it clearly wasn’t working.

Jax snapped, “IT’S NOT ABOUT WHAT’S- I just- GOD,” he rubbed his temples, “Can we talk about this later?”

“No, you said that last night, we’re talking about it now,” her words came on a little stern, “Sorry,” she added, realizing her tone, “I’m just… worried.”
He scoffed, “You’ve got nothing to worry about, Dolly.”

“You put a gun to your head yesterday, Jax, I think that’s worth worrying over.”
That shut him up, albeit briefly.

“…No,” he spoke slowly, “I was holding a gun, not…”
He looked back at the lake.

“Jax, can you please talk to me?” she reached for his hand.

“No,” he pulled his hand back, “No. I can’t.”
Why was he being so goddamn difficult!?

“Why not?!” she pleaded.

“I should go,” he started to get up.

She grabbed his wrist, “No, stop dodging my question, please!”

His pupils shrunk, “let go.”
“Please, just talk to me! We ca-” she realized a moment too late she was coming on a little strong.

“NO!” he yanked his hand away, the sound of fabric tearing accompanying it.

“Ouch,” she muttered, briefly looking down at her arm.

Oh, that… the stitches on her arm from a few adventures ago had torn back open.

“Oh my god,” Jax’s ears fell back, a look of horror washing over his face.

“Jax, it’s alright, I can sew it back la-”

“Oh my god oh my god oh my god,” he quickly backed out of the willow, dashing into the forest behind the lake.

“Jax!?” she ran after him, quickly losing him to the trees.

)(“”)(

After a few minutes of running and no signs of Jax, she stopped to take a breath.

“God, he’s fast,” she breathed, taking in her surroundings.

The sun probably shone bright overhead, though it was hard to tell through the thick canopy. The ground sparkled with what little light broke through the leaves, which glowed scarlet and amber from underneath. She wished Caine would make it autumn more often.

She wandered around, not daring to call his name in fear that he’d run off again, though if he did, she’d probably hear him, which might help her find him.

Branches swayed in the breeze, creating a raspy yet inviting melody of whispering leaves.

Aside from this, though, it was mostly silent, much to her disapproval. She was never going to find him at this rate.

She continued walking, humming to herself while still keeping her eyes peeled for Jax, when she heard something.

It sounded like incoherent sobs and vague mumbles.

She found him.

“Oh, Jax…” she frowned, walking towards him.

“Stupid piece of s—t you can’t do anything right can you sewed her up just to tear her again this always f—king happens I shouldn’t have gone up to her on that stupid adventure I should’ve just stayed in the god—n bathroom now she’s hurt this is all my fault oh my god-”

“Hey,” Ragatha slowly approached him, holding out her hands in what she hoped was a non-threatening manner, “Jax, take a deep breath, ok?”
Jax did not take a breath, “I- I’m sorry I f—ked up oh my god you should really go I can’t believe this f—king happened again why do I let this happen oh my god oh my god I’m so stupid-” his words blended into sobs he’d likely been holding back since he got out of the adventure yesterday.

She knelt beside him and cupped his face in her hands, wiping tears from his eyes, “it’s ok, it’s ok, the stitches were mostly healed anyway, I’ll fix it when we go back to the tent, ok?”

“No, it not f—king ok, I-” he broke into tears again, “f—k, no, get your s—t together,” he muttered to himself.

“Jax, really, it’s fine, I shouldn’t’ve grabbed you like that, I’m sorry,” she assured him.

“It’s just going to get worse form here I’m so f—king stupid why do I keep letting this happen I look like a f—king moron oh my god-”

“Jax,” Ragatha said firmly, “can you listen for five seconds, please?”
“I don’t wanna lose you,” he whispered, voice raspy.

“So you’re going to shut me out?” she stifled a laugh, “Jax, that doesn’t make any sense.”

“You’re gonna end up abstracted like Ribbit did and it’s gonna be my fault again I can’t let that happen we can’t-”

“Jax.”
“…sorry,” he mumbled.

“I’m not going to abstract,” she insisted.

He repeated his words from the night before, “We don’t know that.”

She was growing tired of this response, “…Jax, how do you want me to respond to that?”

“… I don’t know,” he shrugged.
“Ok,” she took a breath, brushing a tear off of his face, “Look, I’ve dealt with your shenanigans for this long, I’m still here, clearly, and I’m not going anywhere anytime soon, ok?”

“…Ok.”

“What happened to Ri- them… it wasn’t your fault, ok? They were already on the verge of losing it when you got here, ok? You didn’t make them abstract,” she told him. He sniffled, leaning against her shoulder.

“I don’t… entirely believe that… but thanks,” he traced the lines on her hand, his gaze wandering to the cut on her, “I’ll sew it for you, if you want.”

“Don’t worry about it, bunny, really, it’s fine.”
“K…” he paused, “did you just-”

“Sorry!” she covered her mouth.

A gust of wind blew leaves off of the tree above them, one of which landed on Jax’s head.

A smile creeped across his face, “I… honestly, I dunno what I’d do without you, doll,” he begrudgingly admitted.

She pulled him into a hug, “Please don’t run off like that again, if you need to talk, I’m here, ok?”

“Yeah, yeah.”

The crispy, autumn leaves danced across the forest floor in the breeze, accompanied by the disco ball-esque dappled lighting from the branches above. She knew this weather would be gone the following morning, but she was glad to enjoy it now, despite how fleeting it was.

She was glad she got to enjoy it with Jax, despite how fleeting her time with him tended to be.

She was glad to be here with him.

Chapter Text

“How’s your arm?”
She blinked, “Hm?”

“Your arm,” Jax lowered his ears slightly, “Hey, you good?”
“Yeah, I’m fine,” Ragatha touched her stitches, “My arm’s fine, thanks for asking.”
“Don’t mention it,” he grinned, before lowering his voice, “Seriously, don’t, I think the others are starting to think I’m getting soft,” he added.

“...are you getting soft?” she smirked, which earned her a light shove to her shoulder.

“Psh, no,” he rolled his eyes, a smile tugging at his lips, “that’d be dumb.”

“Alright,” she shrugged, “dumb bunny.”
“Hey!”

It was nice, not seriously arguing with him.

The others were already deep in conversation when they showed up.

It was a peaceful morning, with lighthearted discussions that occasionally turned into debates (curtesy of Jax), though that peace was quickly disrupted by Caine,

“HELLO, MY STYROFOAM CINNAMON ROLLS!! Are you ready for today’s adventure!?” he cartwheeled into the common area.

“Literally no but you’re gonna make me do it anyway so whatever,” Zooble sighed.

“SHUT UP!” Caine snapped, “Anyway!! Today’s adventure is… Castle Heist! You have to work together to steal the Crown of Nobility from the Duke of Senex’s castle so you can restore peace in the kingdom! But watch out- a group of rival bandits are also trying to steal the crown for more nefarious purposes! You must defeat the rival bandits and steal the crown before the sun sets, or else…”
“What?” Pomni squinted.

“The adventure will end.”
“Oh.”

“Isn’t senex Latin for old man?” Gangle whispered to Zooble, who shrugged in response.

“Do you have a BETTER name!?” Caine yelled, opening the portal behind him, “Get in now, or- or- um…” he paused, “never mind, just get in the portal!” he ushered them in.

)(“”)(

The environment for the adventure was ridiculously low poly. The trees were sharp, the hills were sharp, the water… was also sharp… anyway, the textures looked blurry and kind of muddy, it was a step down from the previous adventures in terms of aesthetic.

“Man, Caine put zero effort into this one,” Jax noted, his eyes hurting from the sharpness of everything.

“I think he’s reusing one of his old adventures,” Ragatha told him, “Kinger said something about how the adventures used to look less… good.”
“That makes sense,” he nodded.

Shitty rendering aside, the adventure didn’t seem half bad. Jax was looking forward to a little chaos after a week of duds, even if the end goal was “restoring peace” or whatever mumbo-jumbo Caine’d said.

The castle was barely visible, blocky in shape and tinted blue by distance. But if they kept their pace, they should reach it before sundown.

“Ok, so, what do we do when we get there?” Pomni asked.

“Uh… I don’t know… Caine didn’t really explain much for this one,” Gangle frowned.

“We break in, obviously,” Jax rolled his eyes.

“No s—t. sherlock,” Zooble glared, “How are we gonna do that, though?!”

“Blow up the wall to the vault,” he offered.

“Aren’t heists supposed to be stealthy or something!?” they shot back.

“Caine didn’t say it was a stealth mission.”

“Let’s just figure it out when we get there,” Ragatha intervened. Ah, she was trying to prevent an argument. Classic Rags.

“Whatever you say, Dollface,” he shrugged.

“What?” Zooble gave him a weird look, which he promptly ignored.

The royalty-free forest sounds Caine had chosen for the adventure played just a little too loud over their hike to the castle. It was annoying, because the loop cut weirdly and the bird sounds had a weird almost rhythm to them that was scraping the insides of his ears.

The quality of the castle, which was rendering more the closer they got to it, was drastically better than the other assets around them. He wondered if Caine had some sort of budget for the adventures, and if he’d wasted all of it on the castle. As for everything else, the trees looked like someone’s first attempt at coding a tree from scratch, the rocks were certainly rock shaped. and bushes just looked like horse shit.

They were also moving, for some reason.

“What-” Jax whipped around, drawing a sword Caine had apparently given him.

“What is it?” Ragatha froze, turning to the bushes.
“…Thought I… saw something move… never mind,” he sighed, putting the sword away.

The bushes rustled again.

“…Huh?!” Jax drew his sword again.

“Great, now what?” Zooble picked up a stick, stomped over to the bush, and poked it.

“STOP,” the bush growled.

“Oh, there’s someone in there!” he smirked.

“…NO… no there’s not!!!!”

“Stop hiding then!” Zooble yelled back, poking it again.

“NO.”
“oh my god,” Ragatha muttered.

“Who’s in there?” Gangle stood beside Zooble, who was continuing to poke the bush.

“NO ONE!”
Zooble poked the bush again.

“Uh… I don’t think that’s working,” Jax crossed his arms.

Zooble tossed the stick at him, “Do you have a better idea?”

“Yeah,” he threw it back, “setting it on fire.”

“Seriously?”  they snapped.

“That’s a terrible idea!!!” the shrubbed shouted.

Well now he just had to do it, “Too bad, are there any rocks I ca-”

“Jax,” Ragatha glared at him disapprovingly.

“…fine,” he sighed, “I’ll only set it on fire as a last resort.”
“Can you just come out already? This is pissing me off,” Zooble violently jabbed the stick into the bush.

“OW!”

A small, lanky, foxlike creature tumbled out of the shrub. Though they were rendered significantly better than the bush they were hiding in (not that the bar had breached quite hell yet), their movements were horribly animated, and they clipped into the ground a little when they fell out.

“Aw man,” they frowned, “Jaime’s gonna kill me.”

“What’s going on?” Kinger slid over to the group, “Oh, wait, I remember this guy!”

“You do?” Pomni glanced at the fox, then at the chess piece.

“Yeah! I think…” he paused, “Wait, what was I… oh! A bug!” he wandered over to a bee,
“Who are you?” Ragatha knelt down.

“Er… Vick… wait was I supposed to tell you that?”  Vick scratched his head.

“Darn it, Vick,” a large, humanoid badger stepped out from behind a tree, “Quit blowin’ our cover.”
“You could’ve stayed behind the tree, doofus!”  Vick’s voice had a certain squeak to it that drove Jax insane. He wanted to rip off his ears.

“You must be Jaime,” Ragatha put on what could only be described as a customer service smile multiplied tenfold.

Now Ragatha, her voice he could tolerate.

The badger blinked, “How did y- VICK.”

“Sorry!” Vick lowered his ears, pouting slightly.

“Cool,” Jax yawned, “Can we keep moving? I wanna get to the action.”

“What action?” Jaime questioned.

“Our dumba— ringmaster wants us to steal a c-” Ragatha shoved her hand over his mouth before he could finish the sentence.

“Stealing a…?” Vick tried to sound intimidating, key word here is tried, Jax thought to himself.

“… that’s not your business, f—k off,” Zooble threw the stick again, this time at Jaime.

Jaime, having caught the stick, continued his interrogation, “No, no I think it is. See, we’re also lookin’ to steal something, and we might have some… issues down the road if we’re both lookin’ to steal the same thing.”

 “Is that so?” Zooble put their hands on their hips.

“Yer not lookin’ fer a crown, are ya?” he stepped forward.

“…No,” Jax said, rather unconvincingly.

Vick sneered. “Ah… you- wait, what happened to not blowing our cover?”
“Shut it, fox,” Jaime hissed, before turning back to the group, “Now, what was it about that crown?”

)(“”)(
Their chat with the bandits escalated into more of a combat situation, which then escalated into a hostage situation, which is how Jax found himself dashing through low-poly woods trying to catch the bandits that’d kidnapped Ragatha.

“F—king h—l!”
And he totally wasn’t freaking out about her, not at all.

The forest somehow got less detailed, much to Jax’s… well, no, disappointment implied he had a standard for this adventure to begin with, and at this point he did not.

“HEY A—HOLES!! Whe- WHERE THE F—K-” he stopped, taking a breath.

He’d lost the bandits a while ago.

He knew he’d lost them, somewhere in his heart he did, but he wouldn’t admit it. Couldn’t. He’d given up on too many people already.

“Stop being so melodramatic,” he told himself, “If I can’t find her, Caine’ll bring her back.”
He continued through the woods, unsure of how long he could hold onto those words.

The poorly made textures left no room for footprints, and the sounds of boots slamming against faux dirt faded the moment the person creating the sound was out of sight, so Jax was currently hopeless to track them down.

“Oh my god,” he muttered. Was he even going in the right direction? Did they take a turn once he lost sight of them?

Where was he?
What the woods lacked in quality they made up for in eeriness. A fog had settled in, and the trees had begun to grow closer together. They also grew in a grid formation, which was incredibly unsettling. The combination of fog, too-close trunks, and a lighting engine that was likely running on potato batteries, created a dense darkness with unnatural, uniform pinpricks of light.

He did not like it one bit.

It felt suffocating, to say the least. Each step felt like he was being shoved down a funnel, and all the air was being squeezed out of him, except multiplied a hundredfold.

Worrying about Ragatha’s safety was not helping.

He had to remind himself that Caine wouldn’t let anything too ter-

…Hm.

He had to remind himself that since this adventure was older, Caine probably wouldn’t have let anything too terrible happen, at least when he made it.

He also had to not remind himself that Caine very well could’ve changed what the NPCs could do, given how the ringmaster was currently several miles away from his rocker and his marbles likely never even existed in the first place.

“I hate this,” he mumbled, “if I find her hurt, I’m going to murder Caine.”
He knew any efforts towards that cause would prove useless, as Caine would likely beat him to a pulp, but the thought (more so the anger that fueled it) somehow kept him going a little longer.

Jax looked around, trying to find some sign of either Ragatha or the bandits.

It was too dark to see anything.

Great.

“If I had a nickel for every time I got stuck in some f—ka— dark environment I could bail us out of this dump,” he grumbled.

He slowed to a walk, which later escalated back into a run once he remembered how trapped he felt by walking. The grid of trees quickly grew repetitive, and he couldn’t shake the feeling he was going the wrong way. Maybe he was. Maybe he would never find Ragatha. Maybe he’d be stuck wandering around these poorly rendered woods until he abstracted.

…

That’d be a fucking stupid way to die.

He ran into a tree, which consequently knocked him back into another tree, forcing him to stop and take a breath.

God, he missed Ragatha.

“Where the f—k is she!?” he hissed.

The trees did not respond. Probably for the best, he wasn’t sure how he’d react if they did.

The sun had long surpassed its highest point in the sky, thus further darkening the already pitch-black forest.

He couldn’t bring himself to turn back, even at the trees drew closer together.

He couldn’t turn back; they had to have taken her this way.

Right?

The trees started shooting up mere inches apart, but he refused to turn around, they’d gone this way.
Even as the trees began to form a wall ahead of him, he couldn’t turn back, this… had to be where they’d… taken her…

This was the way they’d gone…

He saw them…

It… was…

Shit, “This has to… oh… oh god…”

He’d gone the wrong way.

“F—king idiot,” Jax muttered, leaning against one of the trees, “piece of S—T!”

He fought back tears as he stomped back in the direction he’d come from.

The trees gradually grew less dense, though the darkness didn’t seem to let up. He wanted to brush it off as the potato-battery lighting engine, but at this point he wouldn’t be surprised if night had fallen already.

“Godd—mit.”

What use was he to her?

She’d expressed more care and kindness to him in the past week than he had in his entire time knowing her. Meanwhile, he couldn’t sew her cuts without tearing them back open again.

God, she’d seen him at his lowest and helped, even when he pushed her away, and what had he done?

Reacted too slowly.

Let the badger carry her off.

Froze up.

Got lost.

Wasted time.

Useless goddamn idiot.

“I’m sorry, Rags,” he murmured, trying not to fall to the ground, “f—ked up again. Jesus f—king christ…”

His eyes wandered over to a blue shape stuck in a tree a few yards away.

“Holy s—t-” he darted over to it.

Is that her bow!?
He let out a strangled sigh of relief.

“OK. Ok. Uh… this… way?” he took her bow out of the tree and began to walk in the general direction it had been facing.

The rendering on the trees got slightly better, which gave him some hope.

He noticed a trail, which at first, he worried might’ve been the trail the castle was on, but he saw no blocky castle in the distance.

“These idiots have a f—king trail to their secret bandit hideout? Are they stupid?” he laughed, running down the dirt path, the darkness around him fading.

)(“”)(

The bandit camp was surprisingly well made, from what she saw, though she hadn’t seen much before she was thrown into the makeshift “prison cell” they apparently had for hostages. It was a simple, wooden box with a window that was far too high for her to see out of. It cast a bar of light just above her eyes, but it was otherwise useless.

Way to go, Ragatha, you got yourself kidnapped 30 minutes into the adventure, great work, a voice in her head whispered for the 57^th time.

“Oh, quiet, they’re probably doing fine without me,” she sighed, focusing on what little sky she could see through the slit in the door.

Her hands and legs were bound, so she couldn’t stand up properly. She wished she could say this was her worst experience in a digital hostage situation, but it hardly seemed comparable to any of the previous ones Caine had put her in.

The loneliness had gone from soul crushing to tolerable within a few hours, she hated how quickly she’d accepted this fate. She knew why she’d adjusted so fast; she’d done this before.

That couldn’t be good.

She missed Jax.

“hm,” she looked down at her arms.

She’d been given a dagger, but unfortunately, she couldn’t get it out due to where her hands were tied. Even then she wasn’t sure if it’d cut the rope

She sighed, beginning to consider taking a nap, when she heard shouting outside.

“WHERE IS SHE?”

“What…?” Ragatha moved closer to the door.

“Who ?! You’re gonna need to be more spec-”

“Th- oh my god, I’m going to f—king strangle you- the doll you kidnapped!”

“Try the box?! Jaime typically puts hostages in th- OW-”

Jax!?

There was the sound of a lock breaking, followed by the door swinging open.

“Rags?” he looked as though he was about to collapse.

“Hey, bunny,” she smiled.

He knelt and untied her, collapsing into her arms immediately after.

“You’re ok,” he breathed, “You- you are ok, right?”

“I’m fine,” Ragatha pulled him closer.

“I’m so sorry I took so long,” he mumbled into her shoulder, “I got lost- and- f—k, f—k f—k f—k-” his breathing hitched slightly.

“Jax, it’s f- hey, hey-” she pushed him off her and cupped his face in her hands, “are you alright?”
He shrugged, “Probably,” his eyes seemed somewhat tearstained, contradicting his statement.

Something clattered outside.

“…We should probably get out of here,” she said.

Jax stood up, “Yep, let’s go.”
A hint of rose dusted over his face, something Ragatha figured she’d better not point out given how shaken up he already was.

They bolted out of there, the trees blurring around them slightly. The shouts of the NPCs faded behind them as they ran in the general direction of the main road.

They stopped to take a breath after they’d got a considerable distance away from the bandit camp. The trees proved themselves to be higher quality, at least by comparison to the ones she’d seen during her trip to the camp, though they all still wore the same blurred, pixel-y textures as their low-resolution counterparts. The sky was turning a cool blue, rimmed by an orange-gold halo at its base. The sun was hanging lower in the sky; the adventure would likely be over soon.

The hazy light of golden hour fell over them almost immediately, a side effect of the adventure being so old. The atmosphere suddenly felt a lot calmer.

“Thanks for coming to get me,” Ragatha said at last, “I know how much you love the more violent adventures…”
“I-” he froze up, the pink returning to his face, “…uh, ye- yeah, don’t mention it, doll.”

They continued through the woods, staying barely a shoulder length apart.

“You’re not hurt, right?” he asked again, “like, at all?”
She softly laughed, “No, I’m fine.”
“’Kay,” Jax pulled something out of his pocket- my bow!!- “uh, found this… figured you’d… left it,” he sheepishly placed it on her head.

“Thank you,” she gave him a hug.

“No problem.”

They eventually reached the main road. She just barely made out the vague shapes of their friends approaching in the distance.

“You wanna check out that buffet thing Caine added?” Ragatha asked him, waving at the group.
Jax blinked, “After the adventure?”
“Mmhmm.”
“…Yeah, sure.”

Chapter Text

Jax knew the adventure would be stupid the moment he stepped outside that morning.
An envelope, decorated much too pretentiously for what it was, lay outside his door.

One of these adventures, he rolled his eyes, swiping the gilded cardstock off the ground. He begrudgingly opened it, scanning the message inside.

Hello, Jax!

You’ve been invited to Ming’s 29^th birthday party! The theme is Roaring 20s, so dress accordingly. Drinks and food will be provided; there will also be music and dancing. Gifts are not required.

Starts at 12PM, ends at 7PM!

Other festivities besides dancing and drinking TBD.

-Caine

Great. Dancing.

A voice in his head whispered, Maybe you could dance with Doll-

Shut up, he shook his head, I mean, maybe, but no, probably not.

Where was this even coming from? She’s nice to him a few times and he folds? Why wasn’t he getting his shit back together!? Did he want to?
Nah, he sighed. God, he was a mess.

A few hours later h

Cigarette smoke clung to red carpeting, stained with what he hoped was alcohol. Melodies wafted from the hastily constructed stage in the back of the room. Across from it stood a bar, which he recognized from the lightning round. The rest of the room was being used as a dance floor, which was made apparent by the many NPCs- mostly mannequins- dancing on it.

The whole thing looked like a social nightmare, and he was fully prepared to spend the party with a cup in the corner.

Their outfits had switched to fit the dress code, mostly dresses and suits of the era the party was based on. His gaze wandered to Ragatha, who was watching the others slowly trickle out into the crowd.

Oh…

Holy shit…

Stunning was putting it lightly.

“Hey!!” she walked over to him. Her dress was a deep blue, with little sequins that sparkled dimly in the low light.

Ohmygodohmygodohmygodohmygodohmygodohmygodohmygodohmygod-

“Uh… hi,” he suddenly felt very underdressed in his simple dress-shirt vest combo, also a little stupid.

She seemed to pick up on… something in his expression, because her expression shifted from excited to incredibly embarrassed.

“Hi,” she wrung her hands together.

“So… cool adventure, right?” he said, rendered unable to make proper small talk. What was happening?!

She nodded quickly, the large, white feather on her head (which had replaced her bow) bouncing with the movement, “Yeah! Yeah.”

The others had dispersed into the room, leaving Ragatha and Jax standing at the entrance.

“…yeah…” he wanted to claw his skin off his face. He needed to get his shit together, he was making a fool of himself, again. It seemed like a miracle she was even talking to him right now, since he’d been acting so damn stupid all week-

“You wanna dance?” she blurted.

“Huh?” he took a moment to process the question.

She put her hand to her mouth, “Sorry, forget I said anything, I-”

Oh, what the hell, fine, “Yeah, sure,” he shrugged, taking her hand and guiding her to the dance floor.

“O-oh! Alright.”

He eventually found an area of the dance floor that was somewhat hidden from view, subconsciously embarrassed about what the others might think if they saw them dancing together.

“I… have no clue how to dance,” he sheepishly admitted.

“That’s alright,” she placed her hand on his back, “I vaguely remember how, I can lead if you want.”
“er… sure,” he wasn’t entirely sure how to feel about that, but he was nearly positive if he tried to lead he’d make an even bigger fool of himself than he already had.

“Alright,” she placed his arm on her shoulder, “just mirror what I’m doing, ok?”
“’Kay.”
He was expecting a slower start, but the music’s beat picked up, and he found himself spinning in circles around the room.

Step, step- ok, ok, I’m being leaned back now- what’s happening- stopping, ok-

“Jeez, you’re fast,” he gasped.

She laughed, “Yeah, that’s- probably shouldn’t’ve started with swing dancing…”

The melody quickened, sending him into another twirl.
“Is that what this is?” he said, momentarily catching his breath.
“Yeah!” she smiled.
Step, step, spin- spin her? Ok, uh-

“This is fun!” he shouted over the music.

Step, step, step-

“Really?” she spun him around again.

His face heated up, “Y-yeah!”

Don’t mess this up in front of her don’t you dare-

Step, backstep, wait-

What the fuck am I doing I’m fucking this up so bad-

Step, step, sp- SHIT-

“ACK!” He tripped back into a wall.

“Sorry!” she helped him up, “I’m sorry- I didn’t-"

“S’fine,” he rubbed the back of his head, “Not your fa-”

“Do you need any ice- or-” she panicked.
He shook his head, “Rags, seriously, it’s fine.”

“Alright,” she looked away, embarrassed.

He looked around, trying to confirm that no one noticed him fall.

Shit, Zooble was giving him a strong look of disapproval.

“So…” he fidgeted slightly, noticing the lights dim even more. What time was it? Couldn’t be later than…

He looked for a clock, eventually spotting one over the bar. 4!? Already!?

The music slowed. He swallowed, unsure of what to do now.

“Uh… wanna… keep dancing? I won’t spin you into a wall this time, I swear,” Ragatha nervously held out her left hand.

Well that solves it, he nodded, standing up and taking her hand.

One look into her eyes and he was swept into the melodies emanating from the stage.
Seriously, when did he get this soft?

They got lost in the notes and rhythms, letting the music wash over them. Their movements were no longer quite as swift, though somehow, they left less room for chit-chat than their last dance had.

Good, he wasn’t sure what he’d say anyway. Something about the song? About how beautiful she was? About how he never wanted to let her go? About how he wanted to stay here with her forever?
That all sounded much too flowery for him, maybe it’s best they stayed silent.

She cupped her hand to his cheek, and he couldn’t help but lean into her touch. The others’ stares were burning into his back now, but he truly did not care. He was with Ragatha, and she was absolutely gorgeous.

He smiled.

The song changed once more, this one more somber and slower. Their castmates’ stares broke through the music, much to his discomfort.

“I think they’re looking at us,” Jax frowned.

“I hadn’t noticed,” she admitted, scanning the room.

“It’s weirding me out,” he glanced at Zooble, who was given them the most obvious side-eye in recorded history.

“If you wanna go, it’s f-”

Wait, shit, no-

He pulled her a little closer, “No, I’ll stay.”
“Ok,” she rested her head on his chest.

OK OK THIS IS HAPPENING THIS IS HAPPENING, he blinked, not sure what the “this” his brain was referring to even was.

The voice in his head that was embarrassed to look this vulnerable was having a heated debate with the other voice in his head that thought whatever opinion Zooble was currently holding was likely shit anyway.

He wasn’t sure what to think, so he focused on the music.

It sounded strangely familiar, though he wasn’t quite sure where… Oh!

“Heartaches,” he mumbled.
“What?” Ragatha looked up at him.

“The song, uh, Heartaches,” he clarified, “sorry, thought I recognized the… never mind.”
“I think that’s right,” she said, “Where did you hear it from?”
“Uh… some musician, think it was The Caretaker, reverbed it or something like that.”
“Cool.”

Now that he thought about it, the song sounded closer to the reverb. Clearly, it’d been slowed to accommodate the dance. Jax found it a little unsettling

“You alright?” she asked, drawing his attention away from the song.

“Yeah,” he stole a short glance around the room. The stares had mostly relented, save for Zooble, though he didn’t care what they thought at this point.

The song eventually came to an end, and Jax offered to grab them some drinks from the bar.

“You sure about that? Last time you got drunk after two whiskey sours,” a look of concern washed over Ragatha’s face.

He laughed, “Aw, someone worried?”

Her eyes widened, “Nothing, never mind,” she brushed a curl out of her face, “I’m not too thirsty right now, so I’ll pass. You… just try to stick to one drink, ok?”
“Uh… ‘kay,” he awkwardly patted her on the shoulder and walked to the bar.

The voices of reason in his head swapped debate topics, from how embarrassed or repulsed he should feel to what the hell just happened. If someone had told him a week ago that he’d be dancing with Ragatha at a 20s themed party, he would ask to check their blood/alcohol levels. Now he was certain he’d die for the doll, a feeling he hadn’t felt for someone since maybe Ribbit. Part of him was panicking as to how he’d even let that happen in the first place and reminding him that he'd sworn off relationships completely after losing so much. The rest was trying to convince him that the other part would likely be silenced with a few shots. He couldn’t do that, though; he’d promised Ragatha to try to stay sober.

Why did you even make that promise?! You couldn’t keep the last-

Can it, my god, he rolled his eyes, replaying a memory of an overall trivial promise he’d made to Ribbit, those situations aren’t even remotely comparable, and even then, that wasn’t what pushed them over the edge.

Clank.

Amber liquid sloshed around in the glass under him, “Here’s your drink, sir,” said the bartender.

He muttered a “thanks” and returned to his thoughts.

You’re not good enough for her, it snapped, you’re just going to hurt her.

I can change, he thought firmly, I will, for her. I can try, at least. I won’t hurt her, not this time.

His irrational thoughts seemed to silence at that, though it didn’t last long.

He heard a crash, then a yelp. The barstool creaked as he turned to face the noise.

One of the mannequins had smashed a glass over Ragatha’s head.

What the fuck!?

“S—t,” he ran to her.

“What the h—l was that?” she picked a piece of glass from her head. The hole wasn’t large enough for stuffing to start spilling out, but that didn’t make it any less a cause for concern. “Oh, uh, hey,” the glass fell out of her hand as turned to face him.

“Are you alright!?” he immediately started inspecting the cut.

She nodded, “Yeah, yeah, just… startled me, is all,” she nervously rubbed her shoulder.

“Did you bring a sewing kit?”
She shook her head.

“Jesus christ, what’d you do now!?” Zooble stomped over.

“Nothing! I didn’t do- ugh, look, some f—ka— NPC smashed a bottle over her head,” he frowned.

They exchanged a short glance with Ragatha, which seemed to confirm his statement.

“Where are they now?” they asked.

“Uh… I dunno, thought I saw them head over to the band or something,” her face fell, “Wonder what I did to tick them off like that…”
“Give me a description and I’ll go beat ‘em up,” Jax told her.

This got a laugh out of her, “Seriously?” she seemed unconvinced.

“Yeah.”
“Don’t think that’s a good idea, judging by how they just attacked her out of nowhere,” Zooble shook their head.

“I’m gonna do it,” he scanned the room.

Ragatha sighed, “Jax…”
“I am,” he was determined now, and possibly a little tipsy, “What’d they look like?”

“Er… mannequin, green fedora, orange… tie? I think? I dunno, it happened pretty fast,” she kicked the glass shards under a chair.

“That guy?” he gestured towards a mannequin with a similar description.

“Yeah,” she nodded slowly, “But you don’t-”

“Alright, be right back,” he gave her another awkward shoulder pat and stormed over to the mannequin.

Zooble followed him, “Jax, what are you doing!?”

“What does it look like?” he slowed down slightly; eyes still locked on the NPC.
“Taking a dumba— risk for a girl you’ve made clear you hate?” they almost sounded offended.

“Never said I hated her,” he attempted to brush them off.

“Did ya have to?” they persisted, “And you’ve been acting weird around her. What are you planning?”
“Planning!?” he snapped, “What, I’m not allowed to have normal conversations with her?”

“Never said you weren’t, it’s just that every time you’ve done this-”

“You’ve known me for, what, 6 months? How would you know anything about ‘this’, mix-n-match?”

“Enough,” they stood with their arms akimbo, “I know enough. Whatever you’re playing at here, if you hurt her like you did with Pomni, or Kaufmo, or whoever the hell came before them, I or one of the others will have your hide. Got that?” since when did they care?
“Loud and clear,” he sighed.

“Good,” they relaxed their arms, “I’ll stay here and watch you get you’re a— beat.”

“Uh huh,” he nodded.

They rolled their eyes, “Good luck I guess.”
“…Thanks?” he continued stomping toward the mannequin.

They appeared to be bickering with one of the other NPCs- oh, Ming.

Really!? They’re starting beef with the host!?

“Hey,” he tapped on their shoulder, “a—hole!”
“Great work,” Zooble yawned.

“Shut up!” he briefly redirected his glare to them, before snapping back to the NPC.

“What!?” the mannequin sounded incredibly drunk, which made sense with how they were acting.

“Did you break a glass over her head?” he pointed at Ragatha, who was currently relaying what had just happened to Pomni and Gangle.

“What?” they slurred.

“Did you break a glass-”

His repetition was met with a firm smack to the jaw.

This’ll be fun, he sighed, gearing up to punch back.

)(“”)(
“Yeah, they just…” Ragatha trailed off, hearing a crash from across the bar, “What was that?”

“S—t,” Pomni whipped around.

“The h—l is he doing?!” she watched as Jax tried to smack an NPC across the face. Hand-to-hand combat didn’t appear to be his strong suit.

“Uh… I’m… I’m gonna find Zooble, um… sorry,” Gangle dashed into the crowd.

Ragatha whipped up an excuse for Pomni and joined the crowd of people watching the fight.

It was… certainly a fight. Jax dodged, or tried to, only to be punched in the nose. He countered with a punch back; he hit the mannequin’s shoulder. This left him exposed; they punched him again. His nose was dripping with blood, but he did not relent.

“Oh my god,” she muttered, “he’s an idiot.”

Punch, hit, bite- Jesus fucking christ, since when did the mannequins have teeth-

He wasn’t even saying anything, which was concerning, to say the least. He was totally out of it, as he threw each punch, took each blow; he was consumed by rage, at least from what he could tell.

Punch, swing, sad excuse for a kick, hit-

Part of her was slightly… hm… impressed that he was doing this for her, but mostly she wanted him to stop. She didn’t need this, she was glad he was willing to defend her at the drop of a hat, but she didn’t need this. She could, in theory, protect herself. But she generally wasn’t a spiteful person, so she didn’t particularly want him to attack the mannequin.

He delivered another punch to the mannequin’s chest.
Maybe “charmed” is the word I’m looking for, she thought somewhat shamefully, catching herself blushing. She shook her head, no, no, this was stupid, he was being a moron.

Pull it together, Ragatha, she firmly told herself, you are NOT about to fall for this idiot.

“Jeez,” she shook her head.

Punch, kick- hey, he hit that time- no, no, pull it together-

She rubbed her temples, maybe I’m the moron.

He swung again, missing this time. The mannequin took this chance to smack him, worsening his nosebleed.

Having stunned him, the NPC grabbed Jax by the collar and slammed him into the wall.

There was a nauseating crack, as Jax crumpled to the ground.

“That didn’t take long,” she heard Zooble mutter.

“Jax!?” she shoved people out of her way, rushing to his side.

He blinked, as if he’d lost consciousness for a moment, “heyyy…”

The drunk NPC approached them, though a quick kick to the ankles got them to back off.

“Nice job, dumba—!” Zooble yelled from across the room. Jax limply held up his middle finger.

“F—k off,” he mumbled, still coming to.

“You alright?” it was a stupid question, but it was the only one that came to mind.

He rubbed his head, wincing, “My head hurts like h—l, everything looks like I’m drunk, kind of feel drunk but that might’ve just been the whiskey… ow…”
“You said you’d only have one drink,” she frowned, trying to help him up.

“I did,” his steps were wobbly, “I think… no, yeah, just one, f—k, my head-”

“Caine?!” she looked around the bar. No sign of the ringmaster, though maybe if she ca-

“Hello, my dear!!” Caine popped up behind her.

“WHOA- hello! Hi,” she attempted to steady herself and Jax, “Can you- er- I need to get Jax back to his room, he got into a fight.”
“Why don’t I take him?!” the dentures asked.

“No, I got him,” she laughed nervously, trying to get out of this conversation as fast as possible.

“Alright, my dear,” he opened the portal, sighing slightly, “If you want to come back, let-”

“Thanks, Caine!”
)(“”)(

I punched, they dodged and punched me instead, pause, I hit the wall… shit… my fucking head-
He was in a drunken haze, though he was certainly not drunk. He’d kept his promise to stick to one drink. He could do that much, at least.

God dammit, I can’t do shit, can I? he wanted to crawl into a hole and succumb to his wounds. Couldn’t win a fight against an actually drunk guy, yet last week he was taking people out with ease. Maybe he should stick to ranged weapons. Wait…

When did he get to his room?
“What…” he blinked, his vision refusing to clear.

Ragatha sat him down on his bed, “Stay there, I’ll be right back.”
“’Kay,” he rubbed the back of his head, sending a shot of pain through his system, “f—k.”

Caine would reset him later, probably. He tended to do that for more severe wounds. Hopefully he would. Jax felt like his skull was trying to clip into his skin.

His walls were splitting apart like a 3D movie viewed without glasses, worsening his headache.

“Hey,” Ragatha walked back into his room, carrying a bag. He tried to focus on her, but she was splitting with the walls.

The bed shifted when she sat down, rummaging through the bag and pulling out a roll of bandages.

“You…” he blinked, “sorry… d—n mannequin… how… how’s your forehead?” he fought the urge to rub his head again.
“Better than yours,” she laughed, wrapping the bandage around his head, “I’ll just need some stitches.”

“I guess I’m gonna need a little more than that,” he attempted to put on a wry smile.

“Probably,” she fished an ice pack from the bag and held it to his cheek. It was still cold, surprisingly. He supposed it was just video game logic.

He mumbled something, he wasn’t sure what as everything was becoming blurred again.

“No, I don’t,” she shook her head, laughing in a soft, bittersweet manner.

“Huh?” he lowered his ears. What’d he say?! God, he needing to shut up sometimes.

She frowned, “Did you- never mind.”
“Sorry I didn’t wipe the floor with them,” he attempted to sit up straighter.

“I wish you hadn’t tried, you really didn’t…” she watched as he placed his hand on her cheek, “have to…”
They were silent for a moment. Ragatha carefully took his hand off her face.

“Uh… are you alright?” her face was slowly turning as red as her hair.

He shrugged, “I’m useless, aren’t I?” shut up shut up YOU WEREN’T SUPPOSED TO TELL HER THAT-
“Not at all,” she adjusted the ice pack slightly, “You’re an idiot sometimes, and a massive pain in the a—, but you’re not useless, no.”

“It’s just… I got my a— kicked and you’re still here, I’ve made a fool of myself more times this week than I can count, and you’re still here. I… what have I done for you that was worth all that?”
“Jax…” she said sadly, “Don’t say that… You’ve been as much a comfort to me this past week as I have been to you.”
“What about yesterday, though? It took me forever to get to you, you could’ve gotten hurt, and I just got lost in the woods…” he sighed.

“You still busted me out in the end,” she reminded him.

“And today, f—k, that guy was drunk and he still took me out.”

The ice pack shifted slightly, “The effort was sweet, even if it was a little stupid.”
“What ab-”

“Jax, stop it,” she said firmly.

He swallowed, “Sorry, Rags…”
She took a breath, “Look, Jaxxy-”

“Don’t call me that,” his tolerance for that nickname has run dry months ago. He didn’t mean to snap, but it would take a lot for her to be able to call him that.

“Sorry, sorry,” she winced, “Forgot you didn’t… sorry. Jax, look, uh, you might be a total idiot 90% of the time, and a jerk, but you’re not useless.”

“I-”

“I can only say it so many times, bunny,” she frowned, “You-

“I’m sorry,” he closed his eyes, talking a break from everything.

The mattress creaked under Ragatha’s weight, she must’ve moved-

“For what?” her voice was above him now. He opened his eyes so a much sadder face painted on the doll.

“Too much,” he shut them again.

“I-” she paused, “You’re being incredibly difficult right now, Jax.”
“Mmhmm,” he absentmindedly reached for her.

She took his hand, “For this week?”

He shrugged, “And everything else.”

“Well- hm,” she paused, “I don’t… think I can forgive you for everything else-”

“Understandable.”
“-but you haven’t done anything wrong in the past couple days, you know that.”
He thought about it, “I haven’t?”
“For once, no,” she snickered.

“S—t,” he opened his eyes again, “No wonder the others think I’ve gone soft.”
“Ha,” she smiled.

Still feel like shit, she’s sweet and all but I still got my lights knocked out, how the hell could I protect her if-

“Thanks for inviting me to dance today,” he temporarily shut up his inner thoughts.
“O-oh, uh, no problem,” she pushed her curls in front of her face, something she did when she was trying to hide something in her expression.

He yawned.

She smiled through her hair, “We’re going to have to talk about this again tomorrow, won’t we?”
"...probably."

Chapter Text

Sunlight cascaded through her curtain, pulling her from her sleep and into whatever went down yesterday.

God, he’s stupid.

“You look pretty.”                          

There was no way he said that. She must’ve misheard him.

“You look pretty.”

She stared at the ceiling, playing his mumbled words on repeat.

Pretty… me? Really?

Ragatha sighed, turning to her mirror. Messy hair and torn up clothes. She wasn’t sure about “pretty”. Her eyes wandered to her forehead, which was still sported the cut she’d received the day before.

“Shoot, forgot about that…”

She took out her sewing kit. The tear had gotten worse in her sleep, though it was nothing compared to what happened to Jax.

“You look pretty.”

“He hit his head, that’s all,” she reasoned, threading the needle.

Pretty. Ha, she sighed. Oh, no, she shouldn’t complain, she definitely got the better end of the bargain in terms of avatars. So close to an actual person, so “normal,” so…

…

Damnit.

Oh, looks weren’t her problem, were they?

Her eyes drifted to her arms, to the stitches only she could see. Years of knives, claws, memories, insults, they marked her skin like lipstick smears. Some she’d carried over from reality; some she’d gained here. No amount of avatar resets could get rid of them; their presence would forever linger like cigarette smoke. She hated them.

Such an awful collection.

Snip.

The stitches on her forehead were just the most recent addition.

How can I be pretty with all these marks!?

“All done,” she said to herself, going to put her kit and thoughts away for the day.

Her door creaked open, “Hey Raggyyy~”

“You look-”

“Jax!” she spun around, dropping her kit on her bed, “Hi! How are you doing after… er…”

She gestured to his head.
“Ah…” he grimaced, stepping into her room, “that… I’m fine.”

All her concern was immediately redirected to him, “Are you sure?” she cupped her hand to his face, “You hit your head pretty… uh…”

He froze on contact.

Oh god I fucked up oh my god noooooo it’s too early for this-

“…Ye- yeah, I’m fine. Uh… small headache, but y’know…” pink tinted his face.

Shit shit shit shit-
“Oh- uh,” she took a step back, “Good, um, let’s… let’s go downstairs.”
He blushed, “Uh, yeah.”

And I said he’s the moron, she shook her head.

She felt a hand on her shoulder.

“You good, Dolly?” Jax asked, seemingly out of nowhere.

She flinched, “Huh?”

“…you good?” he repeated.

“I’m alright,” she assured him. She lied. She… god dammit, she thought.

He gave her a look, though she was having trouble reading what exactly it was. Upset? Was he upset?

“…uh…” she looked away, “Sorry.”
“’Bout what?” he slipped his hand into hers.

“Ah- uh-” she pulled away, her face heating up, “never mind, let’s… keep going.”
“’Kay,” he gave her another look, this one she recognized. It was his “let’s talk about this later” frown, which she knew all too well.

The walk took longer than normal, the awkwardness of the situation weighing her down like a steel ball chained to her leg. Her movements stiffened as she walked, likely a subconscious attempt to walk however an “alright” person would. Consequently, this made her walk look less “alright”, though they arrived before Jax could interrogate her further.

The only person there besides them was Kinger, who was busy catching butterflies. Also, Caine, who was hovering in his default position over the stage.

Ragatha sat down by Jax.

He was lying, or drunk. Maybe he had more than one drink, he didn’t sound very sure. Why am I thinking about this?! Jeez, is this gonna happen every time I see him!?

The others arrived eventually, causing Caine to reactivate.

“Good morning my Waffle-Coated Woodpeckers!” he shouted, “Are you ready for today’s adventure!? GOOD!”

“He’s not even waiting for an answer now, is he?” Zooble rolled their eyes.

“SHUSH. AHem, right, today’s adventure is… [titlewerewolfthing.jpeg]!!!”

A rectangle with the exact title in arial font appeared behind him.

“That’s…” Ragatha frowned, “Certainly a name?”

“Cool,” Jax deadpanned.

“Glad you think so, Jax!” Caine, tone-deaf as ever, continued his spiel, “A village is being attacked by a ruthless werewolf, and it is up to you to capture and kill it. But watch out- it’s a full moon tonight, and the werewolf will be 57 times more powerful than normal!”
“That’s not how werewolves work-” Gangle squeaked.

Jax scoffed, “Oh, of course you’d know all about that.”
Ragatha elbowed him.

“What?!” he whispered in a teasing manor.

“St-”
“Adventure! Now!” Caine clapped, opening the portal.

She shuffled through, trying not to return to her thoughts.

On the other side, she relaxed a little. She reasoned the adventure would be a nice distraction, even if the forest was a little… er…

)(“”)(
Cliché.

The forest was incredibly, horrifically, jaw-droppingly cliché.

“How many scary movies did it take for him to come up with this?” Jax sarcastically muttered, glaring through the fog that was attempting to mask the forest.

The trees seemed to claw at the threadbare blanket of clouds above them. They looked like bony hands, likely due to their lack of leaves. Said leaves had fallen and rotted into a thick layer of podzol, which smelled kind of acidic. Otherwise, the ground was bare and a little damp. The air, too, beared the same dampness, with added chill.

Y’know, as a treat, he stared daggers at a camera that was not there.

“This is so original,” Zooble rolled their eyes at the woods.

The only light source was the orange-gold glow of the full moon, overtaking the light of some of the stars and sending beams through the holes in the clouds. It didn’t do much, besides outline the trees is a ghastly yellow light. It contrasted with the rest of the forest, which was tinted purplish-blue by what could only be chalked up to Caine’s logic.

“So… um… what do we do now?” Pomni shuddered, stepping into the leafy mush.

“I can answer that!” a familiar fox stepped out from behind a tree.

Oh, cool, it’s him.

“Vick,” Jax frowned, stepping in front of Ragatha.

“How did you- ah, well, anyway,” Vick pulled several silver daggers from his pocket, “You must kill the werewolf! It’s been terrorizing the town for months, killing our livestock, uh, mostly just that, actually, but still! It’s- it’s really bad! Um, here,” he handed out the knives, “Take these daggers and slay it, please.”

Jax turned the dagger over, considering throwing at Vick for what he’d done to his- to the doll a few adventures ago.

Oh, so we’re using possessive words now, great, love that that’s happening, he cursed himself.

“So…” Zooble tapped their foot, the podzol squelching under them.

Vick shrugged, “I dunno, I’d split up if I were you, you’ll cover more ground that way.”
Kinger nodded, “It’d be wise to split into groups, that way if the werewolf attacks someone their partner can kill it.”

“Great idea, Kinger!” Ragatha stepped out from behind Jax.

He took her hand, “I’ll go with Dollface, I guess,” he half pulled, half guided her to a random path in the woods.

“Uh- sure, alright,” she waved awkwardly.

Why did I- oh, right.
He waited to say something until they were out of earshot.

 “You good?” he dropped her hand.

“Yeah, yeah,” she smiled, “This place is a little creepy, is all, but I’m alright.”

He sighed, “You were acting weird earlier, are you sure-”

“Jax,” she put her hands on her hips, “I’m fine.”

“…Alright, dolly,” he didn’t believe her, though he knew it would take a lot to get an honest response from her.

A breeze whooshed past them.

He stood close to her, hoping to find some warmth. God, this adventure sucked. Why did Caine have to make things colder?! There was literally no reason for him to do this. He didn’t even give them jackets or anything to remedy the icy breeze. He shivered, stepping even closer to Ragatha.

“How are we supposed to know if the werewolf is nearby?” she fidgeted with her hands.

“Howling or something?” he shrugged, “Scratch marks on the trees?”
She pointed at one of the trees, “Like that?” three claws had dug into the bark, exposing the grayish beige wood underneath.

“Um… yeah, probably,” he approached the tree, “D—m.”
“What?”
“These go deep,” he raked his fingers through the scratches, “Think Mr. Wolf needs to trim his claws.”
She snorted, “Come on, doofus. Let’s see if there’s any more… oh! Over there!” she darted to another tree.

“Huh?! Rags, wait up!” he ran after her, leaves squelching under him. Ew. Why couldn’t they crunch like normal leaves!?

He eventually caught up to her. She was pointing at one of the trees.

“More scratch marks!” she exclaimed.

“Nice,” he shivered, another gust of wind rushing through the trees. He wrapped his arm around her shoulders, “God, it’s freezing.”

“Yeah,” she looked back at the trees, “It’s, uh, weird. He hasn’t done this since that one snowstorm adventure.”

“Huh? Oh, right,” he winced, “that was… annoying. Pom’s lucky she missed out on that one.”
“Caine said he’d stop doing it,” she noted, “making the adventures this cold, I mean.”

“I wouldn’t trust him if I were you, he said he does s—t like this for ‘the plot,’ whatever that means,” he sighed.

“He did?”
“Think so.”

She sighed, “I don’t see how subzero temperatures add to whatever stupid plot Caine’s got going on.”
He smiled. He liked this side of her, though she only let it show when her guard was down.

“You’re cute when you s—t-talk people,” he said without thinking.
She stepped away, “Uh-” her face turned a warm pink, “sorry, didn’t mean t-”

A howl cut her off.

“O-oh. Would you look at that, the- um- f—k,” she shook her head, “Werewolf, uh. Yeah,” she ran in the direction of the noise.

“S—t,” he ran after her.
)(“”)(

She was running because of the wolf.

Yes, that was why.

That was a perfectly reasonable reason to run.

She was running because she heard the werewolf, purely because she heard the wolf, it wasn’t like she was trying to get out of… that.

She wasn’t embarrassed, not at all.

He thinks I’m cute!? Is- what-
FOCUS ON THE ADVENTURE, RAGATHA!

The woods, as they tended to do in Caine’s adventures, got darker and more uniform. Trees grew in a grid of talons grabbing at the sky above, the fog grew thicker and more shroudlikek, etc. Generally, this was a sign to turn back. But the howl came from this way, she was sure of it.

This is how Jax got lost the other day.

“You’re cute wh-”

NOOOoo

She pulled the dagger from her pocket, arming herself in case the wolf decided to jump out.

What do when that happens!?

She realized a little too late that running after the werewolf alone and without a plan was a terrible idea. She stopped in a clearing, attempting to regain her bearings.

The wolf howled.

Go for the ankles, that’d disable the werewolf, if it’s here. I think.

Fuck, that’s a stupid idea.

She heard another howl, closer this time.

Oh god.

A shadow blocked out a portion of the moonlight.

“Oh no,” wait, no-

WHY DID I SAY THAT OUT LOUD-

She caught a glimpse of fur between the trees.

Go for the ankles, she thought, somewhat hysterically.

A low growl resonated in her skull.

Claws wrapped around a trunk; she readied her dagger.

)(“”)(

A scream rose above the trees.

“F—king h—l,” Jax scrambled in its direction.

You scared her off and now she’s in danger!
SHE SHOULDN’T HAVE RUN SHE SHOULD’VE JUST IGNORED MY ASS LIKE SHE DOES EVERY OTHER TIME-

Zooble’s going to kill me.

“Aw, h—l,” he burst into the clearing, “Rags-”

Shit.

“Oh god-”

“I’m sorry! I’m sorry! I th-”

“Rags, yo-”

“I’m sorry-”

The claws had taken to her fabric like the bark on the trees. A huge cut had split on her left cheek, smaller scratches lined her arms, though those injuries weren’t nearly as severe as the gashes on her legs and chest.

“Dolly,” he ran to her, “I’m not- hey- ah, jeez-”

“Ishouldn’t’verunoffimsorry-” she sputtered.

“Hey,” he grabbed her shoulders, “Raggy- s—t- uh,” he wrapped his arm around her, “Let me help you-”

She winced, “Ow ow ow-”

“Sorry-” he scooped her up, “Is this better-”

She froze for a second, her tears stopped briefly.

“Ah- uh- yeah-” she shook her hair over her face.

Jax carried her in silence for a few moments, the only sounds being tree branches scraping up against each other and Ragatha’s occasional sniffles.

Poor Rags.

Damnit, why am I so fucking slow?

“Did it get away?” he said at last.

“Huh?” she blinked.

“The werewolf, it got away, yeah?”

She sighed, “I think… I stabbed it in the shin… I don’t know- I’m sorry-”

“It’s fine, doll, one of the others will get it.”
“…yeah.”

)(“”)(

“What the f—k, Jax!?”
“Zooby, I can explain-”

“There’s not s—t to explain here, she’s-”

“I- I’m alright, I swear-” Ragatha pleaded, trying to squirm out of Jax’s arms.

“Rags, your leg-” he held her closer.

“Right- right-” she frowned, “Can you-”

He sighed, setting her down. He kept an arm around her waist so she wouldn’t fall over.

“Ragatha, what the f—k happened!?” Zooble snapped.

“I-”

She froze, unsure of how to proceed. Gangle flashed her a sympathetic look.

Eventually, she said, “The werewolf, um, I ran off because I heard it, and I was going to try to kill it, but it got me first.”
“Yeah,” Jax sighed.

“We got the werewolf- whoa…” Pomni approached the group.

“Hey Pomni!” Gangle waved.

“Hey! What…” she inspected Ragatha for a few seconds, “oh, s—t, that’s why there was cotton on it,” Pomni grimaced.

“Uh… yeah… hey, where’s Kinger?” Ragatha jumped subjects.

Pomni gave her a look of disapproval, but answered anyway, “Uh… I think he saw a moth and got distracted,” she explained, “He should be back soon.”

“Dang it! Darn moth got away,” on queue, Kinger emerged from the trees, “Oh, hey guys!”

“Sup,” Jax waved.

“What happened?” the chess piece blinked.

“Uh… don’t worry about it,” Ragatha laughed nervously.

The moon began to dip below the horizon.

Caine appeared, “How was it, my- Gadzooks!”  he turned to Ragatha, “The wolf got you pretty bad.”
“Yeah, no s—t,” Zooble frowned.

“CAN IT, ZOOBLE! Ahem. Anyway!” he snapped his fingers.

Nothing happened.

“Uh…” Caine frowned, snapping again.

Nothing.

He sighed and opened the portal.

“I think my avatar reset’s… broken… I’ll get Bubble on that,” he shrugged, “Everybody in! We’ll sort this out later”
“I’ll stitch you up,” Jax whispered, picking her back up.

She blushed, “Uh- alright.”
Idiot, idiot, idiot, idiot, she wanted to smack herself.

I’m going to look like Frankenstein’s monster after all this, she sighed, Why did I jump to that? I love that book… ow, ow-

She winced.

“Sorry, Doll,” Jax muttered, trying to open her door.

“I- I’ll get it-” she fumbled for her key.

The lock clicked, and her door creaked open.

She’d left her room in a mess that morning, in her attempt to get out of an awkward situation. Her sewing kit was- hey, wait, didn’t she put that up?!- her bed was a mess, god…

Yikes, “Sorry about… everything…”
“It’s fine, Rags.”
“Oh, no, I meant my room-”

“That’s… fine? I saw it this morning, Dollface, it’s fine. My room’s way worse.”

“Oh. Right.”

He set her down on the bed and picked up her sewing kit.

“Let me know if this hurts,” he said, threading one of the needles.

“Alright.”

He began to sew.

“So… why’d you run?” he asked bluntly.

“I- um-” she flinched.

“Sorry,” he stopped briefly.

“I… heard the werewolf, so…” she resisted the urge to curl up under her blanket and hide there until Caine fixed his stupid avatar reset software, “Y’know, like I told Zooble…”

“Raggy, don’t lie,” he smirked, “Did I scare you off? I-”

“No!” she shouted, “No, no, not- well, uh-”

His eyes softened.

“I swear, you didn’t, I just-”

“Sorry,” he rubbed the back of his neck, “I mean, I stand by what I said, but, uh, yeah, sorry Doll.”

Oh.

“Uh… it’s fine,” she took a breath. Silence overtook them for a few moments, broken up by the occasional snip of scissors when Jax finished sewing a cut.

He scooted up on the bed to stitch up her arms.

“Do you really think that?” she said after a moment.
“Hm?” he paused, “Oh, um, yeah, I- I guess.”

“Oh,” she glimpsed at her mirror. She had a hard time believing it, with all the stitches on her.

“You look-”

He did not say that-

“Do you not… oh, jeez, Doll,” he cupped his hand to her face, bringing it closer to his, “You think I’m lying.”
“uh…” her eyes darted around.
“Why do you think I’m lying?” he calmly asked.
She jolted, “I never said th-”

“I can see it on your face, doll. Why do you think I’m lying?”

“I don’t think you’re lying, I think you’re wrong,” she muttered.

“Why?”
“I… I mean, I know I can’t be complaining since I have the most normal looking avatar, but- I just- my hair’s a mess constantly-”

“I like your hair.”
“You didn’t last week-”

“I just said it looked like licorice, never said that was bad”

“I- fair,” it felt like her stomach was expanding and shrinking all at once, “That’s fair… it feels selfish complaining-”
“Let it out, Doll.”
“I- I guess that’s not really the problem,” she admitted. “My hair, I mean.”
“So what is?” he brushed a curl from her face.

She shook her head “It’s… stupid. I know it is. But sometimes it feels like I can still see where I had to get stitched up all those times, the thread’s gone but I feel the marks, and, I don’t know, it just makes me feel… um…”
“Broken?” he said softly.

“...yeah…” she mumbled.
“I get it, sort of,” his ears flopped down slightly, “You have such a f—ked up history you think it makes you f—ked up now.”

“Yeah.”
“And you think that makes unlovable, though you still want that feeling of affection.”
“Yeah…”
“I get it,” he touched his forehead to hers, “I… honestly don’t think it goes away, but… I get it.”
“It hasn’t yet, I don’t think it will. Maybe it’ll quiet down one day, or something,” she leaned in closer.

“Maybe.”

He pressed a soft kiss to her lips. It was short, but it put a temporary seal on everything.

Oh, oh that just happened, she thought as he pulled away.

She pulled him into a hug, burying her face in his shoulder.

“Thanks,” she whispered.

“No problem,” he said.

He went back to sewing.

Snip.

After a moment, she asked, “You wanna get some food later?”
He smirked, “Are you asking me out?”

“Maybe,” Ragatha teased.

“Sure,” he smiled, “Sounds good.”