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When the Poem Stops Moving

Summary:

Monika is shocked to see the newest member of the literature club join without provocation or coaxing. Sayori is shocked that he even chose the literature club. Natsuki is shocked that he is openly a fan of Parfait Girls. Yuri is shocked that he also likes horror and fantasy novels like Portrait of Markov.

Monika is also shocked that MC seems to be breaking the game's story without breaking the game itself. Just how is he doing it, and why does he look so sad when he sees her?

Chapter 1: Surprise Visitor

Chapter Text

Sayori awoke feeling groggy as always. The depression had been steady as of late, and she was steadily running out of reasons to convince herself to get up on time for school every morning. Still, she forced herself to get up, get dressed, get breakfast, and step out into the world. It was a sunny day, but she could not feel the warmth of the sun for the rainclouds in her head. As she stepped forward, she saw someone waiting for her to step outside, a wide grin on his face.

“MC!” she called out, waving haphazardly at him while putting on a front of being okay.

“Hey, Sayori!” MC smiled widely at her. This shocked her. He usually came off so uninterested with their walks to school, but today…

“I’m glad you waited for me!”

“Why wouldn’t I wait for you? We’re friends, aren’t we?”

“Yeah, of course!”

Deep down, she was unsure if she wanted more than friendship with MC, but she was definitely happy to hear him call her his friend.

“So, have you picked out a club to visit?” Sayori inquired, having badgered him for god knows how long at this point about joining a club.

“As a matter of fact, I have,” MC smirked, “but before you ask, no, I’m not telling you! It’s a secret!”

“No fair!”

“Tell you what, Sayori. We make it through today, and I’ll tell you all about it!”

“Deal!”

And the two of them walked to school together, with Sayori pondering what club her childhood friend could have chosen. She just prayed that it was not the anime club, or he would be on the road to being a NEET.

***

Classes had finally ended, and Monika prepared herself to follow the script. Sayori would find MC in his classroom, dazed over trying to find a club to join, and she would drag him to the literature club. Natsuki would have some cupcakes ready, Yuri would make some tea, some things would be said, and poems would be written tonight. Being in a video game sucks, Monika thought to herself before the door to the classroom slid open.

“Welcome in-” she started to greet whom she expected to be Yuri or Natsuki, but her eyes widened at the surprise visitor.

“Oh hey, Monika,” MC waved hello to her before sliding the door shut. “Am I early or something?”

“Yes! Sorry, didn’t mean to be so forceful with that. You are early, but that’s fine!”

Is it fine? Monika wondered this. MC was supposed to come in with Sayori. Why is he here now?!?

“So, this is the literature club, huh?” MC mused aloud. “Sayori mentioned being the vice president. I’m going to surprise her by being here before her!”

Yeah, her and me both, Monika thought as the door slid open and in walked Yuri and Natsuki, with the latter holding a covered tray with cupcakes.

“Who the hell are you?!?” Natsuki snarked, staring MC down.

“Natsuki! Don’t be rude!” Yuri chastised.

“Eh, don’t worry about it,” MC waved off the short girl’s animosity. “My name’s MC. I’m Sayori’s friend and neighbor. I’m surprising her by joining this club!”

“A new member, huh?” Yuri smiled softly. “So, is it just Sayori that convinced you to choose the literature club?”

“She is the deciding factor, I won’t lie,” MC confessed, “but I do read here and there.”

“Oh?” Yuri’s curiosity was piqued.

“Yeah, though it’s quite the wide range,” MC admitted, “ranging from light-hearted slice-of-life manga to heavily-themed sinister fantasy horror.”

Monika watched as both Yuri and Natsuki perked up at the genres mentioned. What the hell is going on? Monika questioned within her mind. How can he know what they like already?

The door slid open once more, and a high-pitched screech of glee filled the room.

“MC!” Sayori shouted as she practically tackled MC with a hug. “YOU CHOSE MY CLUB!”

“Yes, yes I did,” MC chuckled as he reciprocated the hug.

***

What a weirdo, Natsuki thought as she watched MC allow himself to be practically smothered by Sayori’s arms. It was not like she was jealous of Sayori for having such a sweetheart of a friend who seemed easygoing and handsome and- She did NOT just think he was handsome, she chastised her own brain.

“I was going to try and lure you here to the club,” Sayori confessed to MC. “I even had Natsuki make-”

“No, nuh-uh! Shut it!” Natsuki stopped Sayori short. “I shall reveal my work!”

“Let me guess, cupcakes?” MC smirked.

This motherfucker, Natsuki thought as she blankly stared at him.

“Y-Yeah, cupcakes,” Natsuki quietly admitted, unveiling the cupcakes with vanilla frosting and chocolate cat ears.

“Mm! Sho good!” Sayori stated with a mouthful of cupcake.

“Sayori, please don’t speak with your mouth full,” Yuri politely asked.

“She can’t help it,” MC teased. “She’s a lover of sweets and a lover of dishing out compliments!”

Natsuki watched as MC took a bite into the cupcake himself. She expected him to light up in the same way that the other girls did when she first had them try her cupcakes weeks ago. However, his eyes did not give off that sparkle of being absolutely wowed.

“This is amazing,” MC said nonetheless. “You must be an exceptional baker, yeah?”

“I, uh, yeah,” Natsuki slightly deflated.

“In that case, there’s a manga I recommend,” MC continued. “Ever heard of Parfait Girls?”

Natsuki’s mouth dropped wide open. This motherfucker! She almost let the words escape her mind through her mouth.

“Yeah, I might have heard of it,” Natsuki tried to play it cool.

“I believe she has the full collection in the closet,” Sayori ratted her out.

“I- Uh- Er- Sh-Shut up!” Natsuki snapped.

“Hey, it’s okay to like what you like,” MC stepped in. “I think Parfait Girls is pretty cool!”

Natsuki just decided to roll with it. If there was a way to hate this guy, he was making it difficult to do so…

***

Yuri had just finished pouring tea for everyone. She watched as everyone took deliberate sips from their cups, and her eyes lingered a little too long on MC. He drank his tea as if he had studied some lessons in etiquette, she noted. Quite the attractive quality- oh no! She did not mean to think something like that of their newest member on the day of meeting them.

“So,” MC spoke up, “what exactly do you all do here in the club?”

“We mostly just read,” Monika admitted, “but I did find something that Natsuki left behind that hints that maybe we can extend the club’s purposes to poetry?”

“Wait, what- NO! No, no, no, no, no!” Natsuki shook her head. “Please tell me you didn’t read the whole thing!”

“Only the first couple lines,” Monika assured the pink-haired girl. “Still, I think you’re really onto something with that!”

“Can I see?” MC grinned mischievously as he asked Natsuki.

“Hell no!” Natsuki shouted. “It’s personal!”

“I agree,” Yuri chimed in. “Writing of that caliber is a look into the soul. It is not so easy to bear that for all to see.”

“Then how about we all write poems so we can get to know each other better?” MC suggested.

Yuri could have sworn that Monika’s left eye twitched. Was she nervous about this idea, too?

“I like it!” Sayori beamed. “I’m going to write the best poems!”

“I’m sure you will,” MC patted Sayori’s head playfully.

“I think it’s a good idea, too,” Monika nodded, though something about her demeanor gave Yuri pause. “Well, that’s three of five!”

“I-I guess I can try,” Yuri sheepishly added.

“Ugh, fine,” Natsuki conceded.

“Okay, everyone! Let’s get our stuff cleaned up, head home, and write a poem for tomorrow’s meeting!” Monika beamed.

As Yuri cleaned up her tea set, she noticed that MC approached her.

“I know you’re nervous about this, but don’t worry,” MC soothingly said. “I’m not a harsh judge!”

MC then left to speak with Natsuki. Yuri presumed that it was to tell her something similar. Once everything was cleaned up, she watched as Sayori and MC left the clubroom together, followed by Monika, then Natsuki. Yuri took a deep breath and gathered her novellas before exiting the room last.

***

Monika had finished her poem and was lying in bed, wide awake. She could not wrap her head around MC’s unexpected demeanor today. She had expected an aloof quiet guy with little to no interest in the club, aside from maybe finding a girlfriend. She began to wonder if maybe he was not just a template for a player beyond the game. Maybe he, too, was his own person. It did not matter. They were all stuck in this visual novel. Still, the way he looked at her before walking out of the clubroom also bothered her.

Why did he have a brief look of sorrow when he saw her?

Chapter 2: Peacemaker

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Yuri always expected herself to be the first or second member of the club to reach the clubroom, but today was different. She would have been first if MC had not been there, sitting at a desk, reading Portrait of Markov. He seemed intensely into the story, so Yuri tried to be quiet and let him read in peace.

“Hello there, Yuri,” MC greeted her without looking up from his book.

“O-Oh!” Yuri stammered, not expecting the sudden voice. “Um, hello to you, too!”

“Sorry for scaring you. I thought it would be rude if I didn’t say anything.”

“I suppose so.”

Yuri took her own seat and began reading her own copy of Portrait of Markov. She had no idea that MC was into this novel. He had mentioned being interested in Parfait Girls to Natsuki, so she assumed that he would never cross genres. He is undoubtedly a man with a wide range of literary taste, she mused to herself.

***

Natsuki could not help but feel a little anger at seeing the newest addition to the literature club, who had bragged about being a fan of Parfait Girls, reading the same horror novel as Yuri. It was not like she was jealous or anything, of course. She just hoped that this club would start feeling more inclusive to her particular tastes. That was all. Definitely not even a little interested in the new guy.

“You know,” MC spoke up while not even looking up from his book, “ staring at me like that could be considered rude.”

“Wha- I wasn’t staring!” Natsuki retorted.

“Then how do you know I was talking to you?”

“Sh-Shut up!”

Natsuki pouted. How did this guy know how to get under her skin so easily but sound so sweet while doing so? It was not fair!

***

Monika was flabbergasted. MC should have been hanging out with one of the girls for this dating sim, right? Why was he just sitting there, reading a book? Was the script broken? She quickly and stealthily checked it. Everything seemed fine on her end. Without any other option presented to her, she decided to approach him.

“Is everything okay, MC?” Monika asked.

“Yes, why do you ask?” MC replied, turning his gaze away from the horror novel and looking directly into her eyes.

“I guess I half-expected you to reach out to someone and get yourself acclimated to the literature club, that’s all.”

Monika noticed an ever-so-brief glimpse of pain in MC’s eyes, but it vanished as quickly as it appeared.

“I suppose I could,” MC mused, “but Yuri’s deep in her novel, Natsuki’s enjoying some of her manga, and Sayori is running late.”

At that moment, Sayori burst through the door to the literature club.

“I’m here! Sorry!” Sayori panted, trying to catch her breath.

“Welcome in, sleepyhead!” MC teased, standing up and patting her head. “I was beginning to wonder if you fell asleep in class.”

“Not this time.”

“Oh? So it has happened, huh?”

As MC and Sayori talked, Monika noticed that the boy helped the girl tidy herself up before cutting their conversation short and returning to Monika.

“Sorry about that,” he apologized. “Is there anything else you wanted to discuss?”

“Uh, not right now,” Monika softly said, excusing herself from the conversation. She was unsure of what to make of MC breaking the script without a forced change in the game.

***

Everyone had just finished sharing their poems with each other, and Sayori did not like the fact that Yuri and Natsuki had begun arguing with each other over their various differences in style and how they were “trying to grab MC’s attention for themselves” or something along those lines. Sayori was about to step in and stop them, but MC beat her to it.

“Yuri, Natsuki, that’s enough!” MC softly but firmly commanded, shutting both girls up. “You both did wonderful with your respective poems! I liked both styles, and I couldn’t be more proud of you two for stepping forward and showing a new side of you so bravely! However, this in-fighting could end up destroying the club that Monika and Sayori and the both of you have worked so hard to maintain. I assure you, there’s a way to acknowledge each other’s differences without belittling each other, okay?”

Yuri and Natsuki stammered out apologies while MC held a stoic but friendly tone in his voice and body language. Sayori could not believe it. Her best friend from childhood was so different from before. Did she, in her battle with herself and her depression, fail to realize the man that MC had become? Was missing this another sign of how selfish she was? She slightly shook her head, trying to maintain focus on what was in front of her. MC somehow managed to find peace with the girls as he regaled them of how their various styles really shined brightly in their works. He was not just keeping the peace, it seemed; he was boosting their confidence, too. In short, Sayori was proud of him.

“Okay, everyone!” Monika finally spoke up, having been silent throughout the whole argument. “Be ready for tomorrow’s meeting with another poem.”

“Of course,” MC smiled widely. “Ready to head home, Sayori?”

“Yeah!” Sayori beamed.

***

As everyone left the clubroom, Monika sat back and considered MC’s poem. His work was nothing short of magnificent, and all of the girls acknowledged that. However, it barely contained any of the words that would allow him to spend time with one of them. She pondered if the script was broken once more. Now that she was free to examine it more closely, she did so, and she did not see any tampering with the game’s code. It made no sense to her.

The part that bothered her the most about MC’s poem, though, was a specific line within it that seemed a little out of place…

‘When you know everything, there is little left to do.’

She pondered these words as she allowed herself to return to her own home, if the game allowed her to call it as much.

Notes:

In case it isn't obvious, chapters will vary wildly in length.

Chapter 3: Psychic

Chapter Text

Sayori was excited to see MC enter the clubroom when he did. She was short on money but wanted snacks. Before she could say anything, though, he did.

“Hey, Sayori!” MC greeted her. “I’m in the mood for something sweet. Want to join me and grab a cookie or two?”

“I was just thinking about that!” Sayori gasped. “Are you psychic?!?”

“Heh, maybe!”

The two of them ventured to the nearest vending machine with snacks inside, and there they met Natsuki, who was also clearly in the mood for snacks. The pink-haired girl caught sight of MC and Sayori as she was reaching underneath the vending machine and pulled away from it, blushing furiously.

“I-I-I dropped my change!” Natsuki exclaimed.

“Don’t worry about it!” MC waved her off. “Snacks are on me today!”

Sayori noticed a small smile creep onto Natsuki’s face. Sayori and Natsuki stood there as MC ended up buying ten cookies, five vanilla and five chocolate.

“I figured everyone might be in the mood for something sweet today,” MC stated, “so I wanted to make sure everyone got something.”

“You’re always so thoughtful, MC!” Sayori beamed as she accepted her cookies gleefully. She barely got the wrapper off of the chocolate cookie before she took a big bite out of it.

“Y-Yeah,” Natsuki hesitantly added. “Thanks.”

“No problem,” MC smiled as he led the way back to the clubroom, where Yuri and Monika were waiting. He delivered the cookies that he bought for them to them, which they graciously accepted and thanked him for.

Sayori could not help but admire her childhood friend for this seemingly random act of kindness. At the same time, the voice in the back of her head growled, demanding that she forget about receiving such kindness, claiming that she was unworthy. She lightly shook her head, forcing happy thoughts forward for the time being.

***

Natsuki was about to assume her usual position in the closet with her manga, but MC had walked in there a couple minutes prior. She was worried that he was messing up her manga volumes for a second, but, upon peeking inside, she noticed that he was removing them from the top shelf to a level where she could easily see and reach them.

“Monika!” Natsuki snapped. “Did you move my manga to the top shelf?”

“Sorry,” was Monika’s reply, which led to Natsuki sighing with discontent. “The teacher needed the space earlier.”

“It’s fine,” MC said to both of them. “They’re back where they should be.”

Natsuki inspected her collection and was shocked, impressed, and perturbed all at once. Every volume was exactly where it should be, despite the fact that MC had barely looked in the closet before. In fact, Natsuki thought, she was unsure if he had actually looked inside the closet at all. Her eyes narrowed into a questioning glare.

“How did you know where my volumes went?” she inquired with a hint of venom in her voice.

“Honestly? It was all guess work,” MC admitted. “Nice to see that you and I have an eye and a mind for seeing manga set up in a way to best showcase the volumes in a colorful and meaningful way.”

Natsuki was stunned once more. This motherfucker! How many times had she said that about MC in her own mind at this point? She just ever-so-slightly shrugged, choosing to shoo the boy away in as polite of a manner as she could manage. He was certainly something, she thought as she cracked open Parfait Girls once more to re-read the series for what was probably the third time.

***

Another day had passed, and Yuri was shocked to find that MC had managed to beat her to the clubroom. Not only that, he had pulled out the tea set that she normally used and was making fresh cups of tea for everyone.

“Sorry for not asking in advance,” MC apologized, “but I figured it would be nice for you to enjoy a cup made by someone else.”

“Th-That is sweet of you, MC,” Yuri stammered.

She gently picked up the tea that MC had made for her, carefully blowing on the warm liquid within the teacup before taking a sip. It was sublime! It was perfect! It was…exactly like how she made it…

“This is excellent,” Yuri settled on before withdrawing herself to her books.

“Glad to have your approval,” MC smiled and nodded, understanding that the shy girl was ready to retreat to a more comfortable place.

***

Sayori’s depression was flaring up badly. As she read MC’s poem that he brought in today, she was moved by it, but it was also painful to read. She did not understand why this was, but her brain screamed for her to escape. Get out of this room. Get out of this school. Get out of here! Get out! Get out! GET OUT! The voice of her depression was deafening, and she excused herself, but not before MC extended his hand out and took hers.

“You should come by my place this weekend,” MC offered. “I’m thinking of inviting everyone over. Sound good?”

“Uh, sure,” Sayori muttered before freeing her hand from his and leaving the room.

***

“Everything okay with Sayori?” Monika inquired despite knowing what was going on with the girl in question.

“Her depression’s flaring up, I believe,” MC stated matter-of-factly.

Monika was taken aback. MC was not supposed to know about that. He was supposed to find out about that this weekend.

“I see,” was all Monika could respond with, her thoughts now half-occupied with how badly the script must be damaged at this point, despite no evidence of such.

“But hey, I invited her to my place this weekend,” MC continued, “and I want you, Natsuki, and Yuri to join us!”

“Why would we do that?!?” Natsuki butted in, having heard what MC said.

“Well, we have festival preparations to complete,” MC explained, “and I figured it would be easiest if we all gathered together to make this work. Speaking of, I’m assuming you’ll be baking?”

“Of course!” Natsuki confirmed with a triumphant pose. “I make the best damn baked goods in this whole school! My cupcakes will draw them in!”

“But what can I do?” Yuri asked, his eyes looking slightly downward as if to question her worth.

“You, Yuri,” MC said as he patted her shoulder gently, “have a knack for understanding atmosphere unlike any I’ve met before. Can you conjure up something that will give off a welcoming yet powerful presence?”

“I…” Yuri hesitated before firmly stating, “I can do that! I love atmosphere!”

“Perfect!” MC smiled widely. “And I’m sure you already have work in mind for yourself, Monika?”

“Huh? Oh! Yes,” Monika knocked herself out of a self-induced daze. “I’ll be creating and printing out pamphlets for the festival’s event!”

“Do we really have to perform poems in front of everyone?” Natsuki grumbled.

“Aw, c’mon!” MC assured everyone. “We can do it!”

“MC’s right!” Monika nodded. “Okay, everyone! We’ll meet up at MC’s house on Sunday!”

“Sounds good to me!” MC affirmed before giving everyone his phone number. “Send me a list of anything you all need, and I’ll be sure to get everything together!”

And with that, the club meeting was adjourned, and Monika felt elated and worried at the same time. She was finally getting the chance to be around MC outside of the clubroom, even if it was still around the other girls. Baby steps, she told her brain. Still, she had to check the console, make sure that the code was not fucked up at all. Nothing. Not an ounce of tampering. She had not even bothered to do anything to Sayori, despite feeling like the “childhood friend/girl next door” trope would be the deadliest obstacle to overcome. However, MC showed no desire toward her, or even Natsuki or Yuri for that matter. If anything, his poems seemed linked to Monika. She was confused, but if the game was allowing her to get what she craved…

She shook her head. MC was not who she wanted, per se. She wanted the player behind MC. But still, maybe choosing MC instead would not be a bad idea, just in case things go awry with aiming for the player. All she could do now was wait for Sunday, all while MC’s poems echoed in her mind, especially that one line from his first poem.

Chapter 4: Calm Presence

Chapter Text

Sunday morning arrived, and Sayori could barely convince herself to leave her bed. Even so, she knew that Monika had informed her of MC’s plan to gather everyone. Speaking of MC, he had sent a grand total of three texts since the last meeting. Sayori had read the first two before, but the third one was new.

[In case no one has told you yet, the club’s meeting up at my house for festival prep! Can’t wait to hang out with you and the others!] - MC

[Do you think Natsuki will get mad if I bought more than what she asked for? Oh well, risking her wrath!] - MC

[I’m coming over right now.] - MC

This last text sent Sayori into a panic. Her room was a wreck, and she had hidden away the noose that she was preparing to end her life with as quickly as she could as she heard the door to her home open downstairs. Moments later, a knock was heard on her bedroom door before MC burst in.

“Good morning, sleepyhead!” MC cheerfully greeted her. “Ready for today?”

“I…I don’t know…” Sayori admitted.

She saw something in MC’s eyes that she hated to see: pity.

“I understand if you’re not up to this, Sayori,” MC continued, “given how you’re feeling. Before you say anything, yes, Sayori, I know about your depression.”

Sayori wanted to break down, run, and hide, but her feet felt like lead. She could not will her body to move.

“Are you shocked that I know?” MC inquired. “It took a little time to figure out, but everything makes sense with that fact added into everything. Running late for school, always trying to please others even at your own expense, and eventually breaking down from the pressures of life. I understand it, Sayori, more than you know. Maybe more than I think I know.”

He took her hand and gently squeezed it. She trembled in fear, but a sense of calm washed over her at the same time. It was a confusing mess of emotions.

“No matter what happens, know that I care about you, even if your mind says I should not,” MC added. “However, there’s nothing I can do to help you. I recommend a therapist when you get the chance. Okay?”

Sayori nodded silently.

“Alright!” MC smiled brightly and let go of her hand. “Oh, before I go…”

Sayori watched in shock and horror as MC’s hand dove right into a pile of her clothes and pulled out the noose.

“You won’t be needing that!” MC firmly said, not in malice but in confident assurance. “Your life matters! Anyway, I’ll let you get ready for the day! See you soon!”

MC walked away, the noose in his hands, leaving Sayori to question if MC was right after all. Maybe her life did matter, despite what her brain screamed every day.

***

Yuri was shocked to find herself being the first one to arrive at MC’s house. She had half-expected Sayori to beat her there. Then again, Yuri thought, Sayori had a tendency to run late some days. Maybe this was one of those days. Still, as MC grabbed a glass of water for her, she was shocked that he allowed her to use his room for preparing a banner for the club’s festival performance. It was clean, she noticed, and it was full of various books and manga. Among the list was a book titled Going Beyond the Barrier. She was about to grab it and read a little when MC stepped into his room.

“Hm? Oh, that book?” MC stated. “It’s not that great, trust me. Computer stuff, very boring!”

“O-Oh!” Yuri nearly squeaked. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to-”

Yuri definitely squeaked when MC calmly took her hand.

“It’s okay to be inquisitive,” MC spoke in a mellow voice. “It’s part of what makes you, you!”

Yuri did not reply. Her eyes were fixated on their conjoined hands.

“Also,” MC calmly added as he slowly pushed her sleeve upward, revealing scars from her time spent self-harming, “you don’t need to do this to feel alive. You know that, right?”

“Uh- I-” Yuri stammered, embarrassed that MC figured out her darkest secret so easily.

“It’s okay, I’m not mad at you, Yuri. Worried, yes, but not mad. There are better ways to manage the emotions that lead to this. I recommend a therapist when you get the chance.”

Yuri silently nodded before jumping at the sound of MC’s doorbell. MC let go of her hand, leaving the purple-haired girl quite bummed out.

“Oh! The others have begun to arrive!” MC chirped. “I’ll be back if you need assistance! Don’t be afraid to ask!”

And with that, MC disappeared to greet the newcomer, leaving Yuri to her whirlwind of thoughts and emotions.

***

Natsuki almost yelled out “this motherfucker” upon seeing that MC not only bought everything she said that she needed, but he managed to get everything she needed that she did not even ask for. Furthermore, he was keeping up with her in the kitchen, showing no signs of struggle and even going as far to predict the next stage of the baking process before Natsuki could say anything.

“You’re right, Natsuki,” MC said nonchalantly, “this is fun!”

“I never said that!” Natsuki retorted.

“Maybe not aloud, but you were thinking it!”

“S-So?”

MC popped the newest batch into the oven before turning to her.

“It’s okay to admit how you feel, you know?” MC proclaimed.

“How can you be so sure of that?” Natsuki questioned.

“Because sometimes, we bottle things up to try and ignore the problems we have in life, and that leads to us bottling up the good times, too.”

“Not like you have any problems.”

Natsuki noticed a faint twitch come from MC. A flash of guilt surged through her, and she was about to apologize.

“We all have problems,” MC admitted, “even if they’re miniscule compared to others.”

MC took her hand, and Natsuki blushed hard and damn near screamed.

“But the thing about getting through life,” MC calmly spoke, “is knowing when it’s time to face the challenges in it.”

Natsuki half-glared in confusion. Did this motherfucker know about her dad and what he has done to her? The abuse she has suffered from her father’s hands?

“I’m not saying you have to be brave all the time,” MC continued, “but it’s not healthy to be afraid all the time to the point of ignoring the truth of how you feel.”

MC let go of her hand just as the door to his house opened and in walked Sayori.

“Ah! Perfect timing!” MC declared. “Would you mind taking over for me in the kitchen for a bit, Sayori? I need to check in on Yuri and use the restroom.”

MC excused himself, leaving Natsuki to bake alongside Sayori for the time being. Neither girl was talkative, but it was clear that a lot was on their minds.

***

Monika was the last to arrive, but her workload was considerably smaller compared to that of Yuri’s atmospheric presentation and Natsuki’s incredible cupcakes. Even so, she noticed that MC was more than willing to help her out, and she felt something within herself that was more than just appreciative of his initiative.

“Have you picked out a poem for the festival?” Monika inquired of MC.

“I’ve settled on the first poem I wrote,” MC announced. “It may not be the greatest poem out there, but it’s one that’s near and dear to me. I think it’ll flow well for our performance.”

“Okay, I’ll add it to the pamphlet!”

Monika typed away on her laptop before saving the file and setting it up to MC’s printer. It seemed silly to her, though. Despite not messing with Sayori, it seemed like the poor girl was going to try and kill herself tonight, and, if that happened, the game would become unstable and there would be no festival. However, if Monika acted as if things would go horribly, then there would be questions from everyone in the club. She had to play the part, she reminded herself, even though she thought it senseless. After all, what would it matter in the long run? She was still stuck on this side of reality, trapped within a visual novel and having no means to escape and find the player and be with them forever.

“Everything alright?” MC asked.

“Huh? Oh, yes, yes! I’m fine!” Monika lied. “I just haven’t been sleeping well.”

MC simply stared at Monika, as if contemplating how to approach her semi-obvious lie. Monika was worried that his intense stare would somehow crack through her mask, that he would somehow make her confess everything. However, he merely stepped forward and took both of her hands into his. Monika felt her pulse quicken as the boy leaned forward.

“I think I know why you’re out of it,” MC plainly said.

“And why is that?” Monika whispered.

“You question your path forward.”

Monika’s eyes slightly widened. She had to admit that he was right.

“If your path troubles you,” MC continued, “please turn to your friends. Just as they trust you to guide them, you can trust them to guide you.”

“But what if I can’t be trusted?” Monika’s usual stalwart stance began to crumble, her legs shaking in fear of what MC would think of her. It was odd, she thought. He was also only a video game character. Why should she care about what he thinks? Yet here she is, giving a damn nonetheless.

“You can be.”

Monika’s resolve nearly broke with how sweetly those words hit her ears. All this time, she had wanted to be with the player, and now MC was right here, being a warm and welcoming choice. She slowly straightened herself up, her eyes still locked onto him…

“Am I interrupting something?” Yuri inquired, standing in the doorway to the office room MC and Monika were in.

“No, not a thing,” MC answered in a bland tone as he let go of Monika’s hands. Monika thought that his tone was reminiscent of disappointment. “She had some worries, and I was talking her through them.”

“Oh,” was all Yuri said aloud while slowly nodding.

“Excuse me,” Monika blurted out before rushing out of the room and locking herself in the restroom, fighting to steady her breath and her resolve once more. “I will not fall for a video game character. I will find a way to reach out to the player.”

Now if only she could convince her own heart, she admitted silently while issuing a heavy sigh.

***

“Well, looks like everything’s done!” Monika exclaimed.

“And just in time, too!” Sayori beamed. She had to admit that being around everyone and putting her mind to work helped.

“It is getting pretty late, though,” Natsuki grumbled.

“Maybe you all can stay at Sayori’s place for the night?” MC suggested.

“I’d have to get some clothes, but I wouldn’t mind, if Sayori does not,” Yuri mused.

“I think it would be a great plan!” Monika agreed.

“Yeah, that’s fine,” Natsuki conceded.

All eyes fell on Sayori. Well, she thought, she could live another day before ending it all.

“I’d love to have you all over!” Sayori put on a happy face for them.

“Outstanding!” MC smiled. “Well, I’ll see you all tomorrow!”

Everyone replied in some form of agreement to MC’s sentiment, bidding him farewell for the night. Sayori had to admit that she felt a little at peace with her friends coming over until she realized something.

Her room was a wreck. Oh well, she thought. Guess they will learn that she struggles to keep up some days.

Chapter 5: Inside

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Monika looked out of Sayori’s bedroom window as the others were steadfast asleep. She looked at each of their faces, calm and unbothered. Such was not the case for her. The script for the game never mentioned a sleepover. She was unsure of how this could have happened. She opened up the console once more, trying not to let the green light shine too brightly and disturb everyone’s sleep. Nothing. No tampering in the code. What the hell was going on? She shut the console as she heard Sayori stirring.

“Monika?” Sayori murmured sleepily. “Aren’t you sleepy?”

“Not yet,” Monika replied. That was a lie. She wanted to sleep, but it eluded her while she pondered the game’s current situation.

“What’s bothering you?”

“It’s…It’s nothing I’m up to talking about.”

“Okay.”

Sayori walked over to Monika, her blanket draped around her like a cloak. Sayori followed Monika’s gaze and noticed that she was staring right at MC’s house.

“Hm,” came a sly hum from Sayori.

“What?” questioned Monika.

“You like him, don’t you?”

“Wh-What?!?”

“You like MC!”

“What?!? That’s not-”

“It’s okay! Your secret’s safe with me!”

Monika could not even bring herself to fake anger with Sayori, given that sweet sly grin on her face. That, and maybe she was right. MC was an interesting guy, even if he was not real. Then again, neither was Sayori, Yuri, or Natsuki. Even so, Monika never felt more connected to the game than now. For once, everything felt real.

Suddenly, a flash of green light drew Monika’s attention to MC’s window, and Sayori’s eyes darted to the window, too. Both of them saw an outline that bothered them. The outline of a noose. Sayori’s noose. Monika turned to Sayori, who was staring with great fear on her face at MC’s room.

“Wake the others,” Monika took charge. “We’re going over there.”

“What if his door’s locked?” Sayori asked.

“Then we’ll break in. He needs our help!”

Sayori nodded and shook the others awake, explaining the situation quietly but with direness in her voice. Yuri looked panicked while Natsuki was in disbelief. The four girls quickly got dressed and raced over to MC’s house. Luckily, they did not have to break in, as MC left the door unlocked. What was once a peaceful place of gathering only a few hours ago was now a dark and deafening silence. They approached MC’s bedroom in earnest and quickly burst through the door.

“MC!” Sayori yelled out, but there was no response.

The bedroom looked mostly untouched. The banner that Yuri worked on was drying in the corner. The bed had very few creases from someone, likely MC, sitting on it. In the middle of the room, though, hung an unused noose. That part was not so shocking, as the girls had been alerted to the presence of the noose. No, what shocked them was what was in the loop of the noose.

“What the hell is that?!?” Natsuki shouted.

“There’s no need to yell,” Yuri shushed her, “but to answer your question, I have no idea.”

“I don’t, either,” Sayori whispered.

Monika said nothing, her gaze solely fixated on the green and black blipping mass. She would know the sight of it from anywhere. She was looking directly at the inside of the game itself. How did MC gain access to something like this? Maybe this was how he managed to get around doing as he pleased in the game without drawing alarm to the script, she considered.

“Where’s MC?” Sayori inquired.

“In there,” Monika responded, slowly raising her arm to point at the portal to the inside of the game.

“Do you know what it is?” Yuri asked.

“I have an idea,” Monika admitted, “but it sounds crazy.”

“Can we get MC back?” Natsuki approached the most important question without hesitation.

“Only one way to find out,” Monika said as she reached one hand out to the tear in the fabric of their world and the other hand to her friends. “Take my hand so we don’t get separated.”

Sayori quickly did so, while Yuri and Natsuki were a bit hesitant to do so. They still did so, of course, before Monika reached out and touched the inside of the game, and the four girls were consumed in a blinding flash of green light.

Notes:

This is the shortest chapter of the ten. It also marks the dive into darker chapters. You have been forewarned!

Chapter 6: Sayori

Notes:

Content warning: Suicide.

Chapter Text

Sayori looked around as the four girls seemingly fell endlessly through a dark tunnel, the only source of light being the occasional green orb composed of zeroes and ones. They did eventually find the ground at the bottom of the tunnel, but instead of a thud and a hard stop, their feet softly touched the ground with nothing more than faint taps echoing around them and down a path that was lit with a bright white light.

“He must be down this way,” Monika spoke up.

“Yeah,” Sayori agreed nervously. Her worry for MC was spiking, and she pushed ahead of everyone else.

Past the white light, they found themselves outside of the clubroom, but the lighting was off. It was as if the world around them was telling them that this was not their realm of existence. Sayori looked around, confused, until she saw a pair of faces approaching the clubroom door.

“I promise, MC, you’re going to love it here!” the cognitive Sayori giddily announced to the cognitive MC.

“Look, I’m just stopping by for a cupcake, that’s all,” MC nonchalantly replied.

This is not right, Sayori thought. She did want to invite MC to the club, but he beat her to it. Not only that, but he was so excited to join of his own volition. Why is this MC cognition acting like he would rather be anywhere else.

Sayori. My first friend.

Sayori and the others jumped as they heard MC’s voice echo off the walls. No source could be found. The voice simply existed.

All you ever wanted was for me to go beyond who I was. You didn’t want me to become a NEET. To think you only pushed me forward for that reason and also to spend time with me before you went away.

“Went away?!?” Natsuki questioned. “Are you moving away, Sayori?!?”

“N-No,” Sayori mumbled. She was downright terrified. Was MC going to divulge her secret?

Of course, I didn’t know that at the time, so I didn’t think much of it. I spent my time with you, Natsuki, and Yuri, and I tried to spend time with Monika, too, but something always stopped me.

“That’s not right,” Yuri pointed out. “If anything, I’d say MC devoted his time evenly among us.”

“Yeah…” Monika whispered, perplexed. Sayori wished that she could figure out what was going on behind those emerald eyes.

And then that day came, where we had to prepare for the festival. You and Monika had to work on pamphlets online, but I came to visit to check on you.

The world around the girls changed into a version of Sayori’s room, ever a mess, but, given the sleepover circumstances before this, all of them were aware of that. A cognition of Sayori sat on her bed, a frown adorning her usually-vibrant face. A cognition of MC came in, startling the cognitive girl.

“Oh. Hi, MC,” the cognitive Sayori greeted her friend.

“Hey, Sayori,” the cognitive MC said in return. “I came to check on you. I’ve been worried since the last club meeting.”

“Don’t be. You should worry about Natsuki. Aren’t you and her going to be baking soon?”

“Wait, how do you know about that?”

“Monika told me.”

“Of course. Makes sense that the club president would keep her VP informed. But I’m not leaving until I know what’s going on. You’re usually so happy.”

“You really don’t get it, do you, MC? I’m not happy. I can’t remember the last time I was truly happy. In fact, long story short, I’m depressed. Have been all my life.”

Sayori’s eyes widened as she felt her clubmates staring directly at her. She turned to see shock and worry on Natsuki’s and Yuri’s faces, and a knowing melancholic look on Monika’s face. Sayori wanted to say it was not true, but the words had come from her own mouth. She could not deny it. She simply responded with a sad smile of confirmation before returning her attention to the cognitions.

I wish I had stayed over. I know Natsuki would’ve been pissed if I had canceled plans on her last-minute, but maybe, just maybe, if I had stuck around…

The view shifted to the hallway leading to Sayori’s room. The girls watched as the cognitive MC slowly approached the door. Sayori could have sworn that she heard his heartbeat pounding loudly as his hand firmly grasped the doorknob to her bedroom and gently opened the door.

“Sayori, I-” the cognitive MC stopped short, and Sayori could hear yelps of shock coming from Natsuki and Yuri behind her.

Before them, in the middle of Sayori’s bedroom, hung Sayori. All light was gone from her eyes, her fingers were red and bloodied from trying to escape the noose around her neck, and her clothes hung loosely upon her body. The four girls watched as the cognitive MC fell to his knees, tears running down his face.

“No,” the cognitive MC muttered in a barely audible voice. “No, no, no, no, no, no, no! This can’t be! Sayori! Sayo-”

The cognition broke down into sobs as the voice returned.

If I was a better friend and recommended better help and support than myself, maybe you wouldn’t have died. But you died anyway. You died because I failed you. I’m so sorry, Sayori.

The girls felt the floor beneath them give way, and they began to fall again.

“Sayori?” Monika piped up, trying to grab her friend’s attention.

“I’m fine,” Sayori lied.

“Don’t lie to us, please,” Yuri soothingly chastised. “You’re not alone, Sayori. Okay?”

“Yeah, we’re your friends,” Natsuki added. “We’ll always be there for you.”

“But I don’t want people to worry about me,” Sayori stifled sobs with her proclamation.

“Tough shit,” Natsuki folded her arms. “I care about you. Yuri and Monika do, too.”

“She’s right,” Yuri smiled softly.

“Yeah,” Monika replied with a spaced-out voice.

“See? You’re stuck with us, whether you like it or not!” Natsuki grinned widely.

“Thanks,” Sayori laughed and cried at once, unsure of how to feel about these declarations of support as they continued falling.

Chapter 7: Natsuki

Notes:

Content warning: Mentions of child abuse/neglect; some body horror.

Chapter Text

The girls landed softly once more, and Natsuki looked around for the next light. She did consider it presumptuous that this would be like the last area, and she turned out to be right.

“This way!” she cried out to the others.

“I know we have to keep going, but can’t we rest a moment?” Yuri inquired. “That last area was a lot.”

“Yeah…” Sayori mumbled.

“But MC could be in danger right now!” Natsuki shouted.

“True, but there’s something that’s bothering me about what we saw,” Yuri continued. “It seemed like he was speaking from personal experiences, but that didn’t happen.”

“Yeah…” Sayori shifted uncomfortably.

“What would make MC so certain that Sayori had hung herself,” Yuri pondered aloud. “She’s still alive and well.”

“Monika, you’ve been quiet about all this,” Natsuki called out to the club president. “Do you have any ideas?”

“I-I’m not sure,” Monika stammered, giving Natsuki pause. Monika was not one to stammer so easily. Did she know something?

“Can we just go?” Sayori asked, her body language screaming that she would rather be anywhere but here.

“Yeah, let’s go,” Natsuki marched forward, and the others followed behind her.

Passing through the second white light of the night led them to the clubroom once more. More specifically, they were right outside of the closet where Natsuki hid her manga away from the world, and just outside of it sat two cognitive beings: Natsuki and MC.

Natsuki. Resident manga-lover of the literature club and a good friend.

“Oh hell no!” Natsuki blurted out. “I am not getting called out by MC’s narrator voice or whatever the fuck is going on!”

“Shh!” Yuri quieted the pink-haired girl.

You always put on a rough exterior for the world to see, but I can confirm this is but a facade. Underneath the name-calling and the teasing, you have such a warm heart for those you care about. How I ended up being one of those people, I’ll never fathom it, but I’m glad nonetheless.

Natsuki could not help herself when she ended up silently saying aloud, “this motherfucker…”

I am sorry, Natsuki, for all the pain you suffered by your father’s hands. I wish he would have been a more loving parent for you. You deserved to have proper meals, not scraping by with snacks. You deserved to be hugged and doted on, not beaten for complaining about your life and how shitty it was.

Natsuki felt everyone’s eyes fall on her.

“What? It’s a lie!” Natsuki retorted.

“Is it, though?” Sayori asked. “You’ve seen my darkest secret. You can share yours.”

“I…I…” Natsuki could not convince herself to admit the truth.

“That asshole,” Yuri whispered under her breath.

Monika remained silent, simply offering a weak smile.

“Fine! Yes! My dad beats me and starves me! Happy?!?” Natsuki yelled.

“Not at all,” Yuri responded. “MC’s voice is right. You deserve better.”

The world around them shifted as they found themselves still in the clubroom, but now Natsuki’s and MC’s cognitions were standing there, reviewing poems. Cognitions of Yuri and Monika were standing away from them, discussing poems as well. Sayori’s cognition was nowhere to be found.

“Where’s Sayori?” Natsuki questioned, and the narration started once more, as if to answer her question.

After Sayori’s suicide, it was like the world reset. No one knew who she was except for me, but try as I might, I couldn’t say anything. It was like the world was keeping my mouth shut about everything that had happened. I still ended up joining the club, dragged along by Monika, and Natsuki was, in short, terrified of the things happening around us as the world became more and more nonsensical.

“I want you to read this poem carefully,” Natsuki’s cognition pleaded with MC’s cognition.

The girls watched as MC’s cognition read the paper that Natsuki’s cognition handed to him. They tried to peek over MC’s shoulders to read the poem, but they could not see it very well. They could at least tell that whatever was written on it was not a poem. It was more than likely a cry for help of some kind. As MC’s cognition finished reading the paper, Natsuki’s cognition slowly grew paler as the world around them darkened.

“Actually, disregard everything you just read!” Natsuki’s cognition said. “You shouldn’t worry about what’s happening in the club. If anything, we should just get out of her for today. Come on. Play with me. Play with me! PLAY WITH ME!”

Suddenly, Natsuki’s cognition’s neck snapped at a ninety degree angle and began charging at MC’s cognition. The girls freaked out, shrieking in terror as the cognition passed through the boy and continued its staggered walk towards them. Natsuki fell to the ground to shield herself, but it was already over. The world had shifted back to normal around them, and Natsuki’s cognition was normal again, as well.

That was the freakiest moment that I had with you, Natsuki, before you were unceremoniously deleted. I wish I could have heeded your note and changed things, but the damage was too advanced at that point to save you or the world around us.

“What was on the note that made him think he could save the world?!?” Sayori inquired.

“How should I know? I didn’t write a note to him,” Natsuki pointed out.

“But according to this…what? Memory? Illusion? He thinks you did,” Yuri pondered aloud.

“But I fucking didn’t!” Natsuki shouted.

“The better question would be what he meant by ‘unceremoniously deleted’. Does that mean you died in his memories, too?” Yuri mused.

Monika shifted uncomfortably, but before anyone aside from Natsuki could notice this, the floor below them gave way, and back to falling they went.

Chapter 8: Yuri

Notes:

Content warning: Self harm and suicide.

Chapter Text

The fall did not take as long this time, or perhaps they were falling faster. Yuri was unsure of which was true. All she knew was that twice now, they had fallen into some illusions, hallucinations, or maybe even false memories that MC was having, and none of it was making sense. If this was a rabbit hole, she did not want to be Alice, Yuri thought as the girls finally landed once more.

“Another light,” Sayori gestured to the next white light that they had to pass through.

“Whose turn is it this time? Monika or Yuri?” Natsuki deadpanned, undoubtedly trying to put on a strong face for those around them by not focusing on her own set of memories from MC’s perspective.

“I don’t know,” Yuri admitted, “and, if I’m being completely honest here, I’m not sure I want to know.”

“MC might be just ahead,” Sayori offered.

“Yeah…” Monika shifted nervously by them.

“What’s wrong, Monika?” Yuri inquired.

“Nothing serious,” Monika stated, refusing to meet Yuri’s gaze. “I’m just scared is all.”

“Well, the sooner we find MC, the sooner we can get out of here,” Sayori did her best to comfort Monika.

“Yeah, you’re right,” Monika smiled weakly. “Let’s go.”

The four girls passed through the veil once more, and on the other side of the white light was the clubroom once more. It was a bright sunny day, and cognitions of Yuri and MC were sitting next to each other, reading Portrait of Markov. Sayori, Natsuki, and Monika looked at Yuri, who shook her head. She did not recall this happening.

Yuri. Sweet, sophisticated Yuri. Timid but bearing a hidden flame of confidence within.

Yuri blushed a little at this. She did not expect MC’s voice to be speaking of her like that.

You helped me learn so much beyond my little bubble, beyond my comfort zone. An introduction to large novels and tea etiquette was never on my agenda, but I am glad that you pushed me to push myself. Sayori would definitely be glad to hear that you ensured that I wouldn’t be a simple NEET.

Sayori could not help but giggle at this. Yuri, however, was confused.

“But I did no such thing,” Yuri confessed. “When I was in his room, working on the banner for the festival, I took a peek at what he had on his bookshelves. It was littered with a plethora of novels, some of which I had never even heard of before.”

“Really?” Sayori gasped. “He never told me or showed me!”

“Not only that, he knew exactly how to make tea without me showing him anything,” Yuri continued.

“Maybe he learned quickly to impress you,” Natsuki shrugged.

“Unless he had a natural talent for it, I highly doubt it,” Yuri replied. After all, there was no way someone could have managed this so quickly otherwise. Right?

The view changed around them, and MC’s cognition was in the clubroom. Monika’s cognition was working at a desk while Natsuki’s cognition was in the closet, no doubt reading manga. Neither Yuri’s nor Sayori’s cognitions were around.

Unfortunately, the nuances of thick books and oolong tea were not the only thing you showed me. I don’t think you ever intended for me to learn this, but I did.

“What’s taking her so long to get the water?” MC’s cognition whispered. “I’m going to go check on her.”

The girls followed MC’s cognition as he stepped outside of the clubroom and began walking down the hall to the nearest water fountain. He rounded the corner and his eyes widened in terror. The girls rushed forward to see what he saw, and there was Yuri’s cognition, her sleeves rolled up, a slim knife in her hand, with several cuts up and down her arms. She stared at MC’s cognition with wide-eyed panic before the world around them somehow rewound, and MC’s cognition and the girls were back in the clubroom.

“What the fuck?” Natsuki whispered, barely audible. “Is that real?”

“Yuri?” Sayori frowned.

Yuri said nothing, instead pushing her sleeves up to reveal the scars along her arms and wrists. Monika said nothing, only staring with utter worry. Sayori choked back sobs while Natsuki marched toward the purple-haired girl. She firmly grasped Yuri’s arms, inspecting them before pulling Yuri into a tight hug.

“Why?” Natsuki asked.

“I-I don’t remember why I started,” Yuri admitted. “I just don’t know how to stop. I’ve wanted to, but I can’t stop.”

“When we get out of here, you’re getting help! Got it?” Natsuki ordered.

“Y-Yeah,” Yuri was flustered by the short girl’s domineering command.

The world around them shifted once more, and the girls watched as Yuri’s cognition pushed Monika’s cognition forcibly hard out of the clubroom, leaving just her and MC’s cognition, who stood there, blinking in worry but seemingly unable to move.

“Now, we’re finally alone!” Yuri’s cognition giddily announced, her tone vastly different from Yuri’s normal speech patterns. “We can finally be together, MC! Just you and me! Forever! I love you so much!”

Yuri could feel the others’ eyes on her. Yuri could not bring herself to respond. She did not understand why this version of her was so…creepy. Insane. Tainted, even. She just watched in unblinking horror as this broken cognition of her just went on and on, saying things and giggling in a way that was very different from her true self. It was as if another personality had overtaken her cognition, and she was powerless to stop what was unfolding.

“Will you accept my confession?” Yuri’s cognition pleaded.

“No,” MC’s cognition whimpered. “You’re fucking crazy.”

The girls then watched in horror as Yuri’s cognition pulled out a large knife and proceeded to stab herself in the stomach and the chest, bleeding out quickly and falling to the floor. Sayori whimpered behind Yuri, and she could hear Natsuki throwing up. Monika remained silent, no doubt absorbing the shock just as Yuri was.

That which had possessed you that day ended with your life. The worst part was that I was unable to move. For two days, two nights, and all the way to right before the festival, I stood there, unable to leave and call for help. It was as if I had been held in place against my own volition. I learned later that saying ‘yes’ didn’t change the outcome. No matter what I did, you died.

“What does he mean by that?” Natsuki questioned.

“I don’t know,” Yuri whispered, barely comprehending how she could be standing over her own dead body while still being alive. “I really don’t know.”

And the girls were prepared when the floor beneath them disappeared, sending them into freefall once more.

Chapter Text

The girls finally made their soft landing, and Monika knew what had to be next. While she was unsure of what would be shown, she knew that she would be the subject matter of the next set of…whatever these were. She had a theory forming as to why MC had these things available for the literature club to see, but she would only be able to confirm it by finding him.

“Another light,” Yuri pointed out morosely.

“I don’t know if I can keep going,” Monika blurted out.

“But MC might need our help!” Sayori pleaded.

“Yeah! Besides, why are you questioning going forward?” Natsuki challenged. “You’re the one who led us into this mess.”

“I’m terrified of what we’ll see next,” Monika admitted.

“Because everyone but you has had something about them exposed?” Yuri questioned.

Monika nodded silently, her arms folding around her gut as she tried to find some way to ease the tension within herself.

“You’ve been incredibly standoff-ish this whole time, Monika,” Natsuki pressed. “What are you hiding?”

Monika noticed as all eyes focused on her.

“I don’t know if you would believe me if I told you,” Monika muttered.

“Well, you can tell us, or we’ll go into the light!” Natsuki gave an ultimatum.

Monika desperately wanted to tell the truth then, but she could not bring herself to say anything. Seeing as it was pointless, she sighed as she shuffled forward and guided them into the light, praying that nothing shown would be too horrendous. The other girls followed her, and they found themselves in the clubroom once more. Cognitions of all the girls were there, and they recognized it to some degree, even if things looked different. It was the day that MC joined the club.

Monika. The image of the perfect girl. She and I both know that isn't true. There is no doubt that she is amazing in so many ways, but she harbors a darker secret than the other girls in the club.

“Please, don’t say it,” Monika begged in a whisper.

The view around them sped up while MC continued narrating everything.

This world we all live in, the one place we can truly call home…it’s all a lie. A fake. It’s all just a goddamn video game! And it’s not even one that involves going on a long journey or saving the day. No, it’s a visual novel that pretends to be a dating simulator.

“I’m sorry, what?!?” Natsuki snapped.

“We’re in a dating sim?!?” Sayori inquired.

“No, that’s not what he said,” Yuri corrected. “He said it ‘pretends to be a dating simulator.’”

“Can you explain this, Monika?” Sayori asked.

“It’s true,” Monika confessed. “We’re all a bunch of video game characters. I don’t know why, but when the game began its existence, I came into being with that knowledge. It’s like I was damned with this secret.”

“Well, do you know what kind of game this is, if we’re to believe that?” Natsuki pushed for answers.

“I thought it was a dating sim,” Monika frowned. “One where each of you had a route for the player to take.”

“The player?” Yuri inquired.

“They’re the ones that are supposed to be in control of MC,” Monika explained, “but he isn't following the script.”

“And what do you mean by ‘each of you?’” Sayori tilted her head in question. “Don’t you get a route?”

“To my knowledge, no,” Monika said as she looked at the ground. “I don’t know what god or devil deemed that I should be considered undateable, but I am.”

Instead of a dating sim…

The view around them changed to a cognition of Monika walking in on a cognition of MC standing in front of a dead cognitive Yuri.

…it was a psychological horror game, one where the club president had a lot of power and used it selfishly.

“Oh, have you been stuck there this whole time?” the cognitive Monika asked the cognitive MC, who did not reply. “Here, let me clean this up.”

Everyone watched as the cognitive Monika opened up the script and deleted Yuri’s dead body. She followed it up by also deleting Natsuki.

“Well, the world’s about to fall apart, but it doesn’t matter anymore,” the cognitive Monika continued. “After all, this is all fake, and soon, very soon, my dear player, you’ll be all mine!”

The view around them changed once more to a classroom with a table and two chairs. Behind one of the chairs was a set of windows, and, through the windows, the girls saw empty space. Occasionally, a bright light that seemed reminiscent of an explosion would flash, but no sound came from it. They turned their attention once more to the chairs and table, and there they saw the cognitions of Monika and MC sitting there, with MC no longer having a face of his own. In its place was a void, as if the cognitive Monika was trying to see this “player” figure.

“I guess I really broke the script, didn’t I?” the cognitive Monika giggled. “Well, at least we’re together now…”

It was awful, the lengths you would go to be with this player. Sacrificing everything. Sacrificing everyone.

“WHAT?!?” screamed Yuri, Natsuki, and Sayori, their eyes glaring at Monika.

“I-I-I-” Monika stammered hard.

“You were planning to kill us?!? Just to hook up with some fucking ‘player?’” Natsuki hissed.

Monika could not provide a rebuttal. She simply cried.

“Why, Monika?” Sayori begged sweetly for an answer, a tone that Monika knew she did not deserve.

“I don’t know what MC has seen, but if I were to have a chance to be with the player, I would need a route,” Monika explained sullenly.

“If you mess with the script, why not build your own?” Yuri asked.

“I don’t know how to code that well,” Monika confessed.

“Well, I think we shouldn’t be mad at her,” Sayori firmly stated. “She hasn’t killed any of us, and I know she’s not into the player.”

“How are you so sure?” Natsuki glared.

“Because she’s in love with MC!” Sayori smiled brightly.

Yuri and Natsuki stared at Sayori and Monika with incredulity.

“I- Well…” Monika rubbed the back of her neck, her cheeks flushing red and her words utterly lost.

“Very well. I accept this,” Yuri mused with a small smile.

“Yeah, I guess so,” Natsuki deflated her attitude.

They turned their attention once more to the scene unfolding as the cognitive Monika yammered on and on to this “player” figure through MC’s void of a non-face.

I have been here hundreds, maybe thousands, of times. Each time ended the same as before.

A bright light appeared in front of the cognitive MC, showcasing a file window. The cognitive Monika did not seem to notice this. The girls watched as a cursor went through some folders and a character file. “Monika.chr”.

I never wanted to do this, even after she killed everyone and destroyed the world around me. Sure, I was mad at her for the sake of Sayori, Natsuki, and Yuri, but never mad enough for this.

The cursor right-clicked the character file. Options appeared on the screen. The cursor hovered over delete.

No one deserves this. Not even you, Monika. Especially not you, Monika. Because, despite everything and despite my own emotions for the friends I’ve lost time and time again…I still loved you, Monika.

The cursor clicked delete, and the girls covered their ears as the cognitive Monika was shredded into pixelated particles and her scream rang out, shrill and painful. Monika especially hated the noise, and she wanted it to stop. It did, just as the rest of the world fell into complete darkness.

After suffering enough of these wretched loop of events, I devoted myself to spend time where I was out of the player’s control, no doubt for time skips for video game story brevity, learning how to code and cover my tracks. The player will not be successful forever. I will do what I must to save everyone.

Sayori.

Natsuki.

Yuri.

Monika.

I’m sorry.

And with that, the girls fell one more time, and their landing brought them to the end of their journey, with Monika noticing the situation first.

“MC!” she yelled at the boy. “What are you doing?!?”

Chapter 10: Farewell

Chapter Text

MC could not believe his eyes. This is precisely what he did not want to have happen. His plan would falter if he saw what he was going to lose in his desperate attempt to save everyone. His eyes panned over the girls. Sayori, Natsuki, Yuri, Monika…why did they have to show up?

“I’m sorry,” he finally spoke, “but I have to do this.”

“And what exactly are you doing?” Sayori questioned, tears prickling her eyes.

“I’m saving you all,” he confessed. “I doubt you would understand.”

“Does this have to do with your memories?” Yuri inquired.

“Wait, you remember, too?!?” he asked, hoping that he was no longer alone in this godforsaken time loop that he had been experiencing.

“Not exactly,” Monika shifted.

“We saw your memories,” Natsuki blurted out.

“What are you going to do?” Sayori questioned again.

“If I tell you, you’ll stop me,” MC muttered.

He could feel his resolve weakening. Things were not going as planned.

“Tell us anyway,” Monika pleaded.

“Fine,” MC conceded. “I have lived the same week or two - the timeline’s kind of messy - over and over and over again. I have seen Sayori hanging in her bedroom, Natsuki’s neck snapped at an impossible angle, Yuri bleeding out in the clubroom, and you, Monika, obliterated into nothingness so many times…I have nightmares from it. I can’t keep letting you all die. So, in order to fix this, I have to remove the one constant that keeps this game from letting you live your lives. I must go, and I’m willingly doing this to save you all. Please don’t stop me.”

MC turned to the doorway full of bright white light. The others probably could not see it, but he could. Deep within the code of the game that they have endured for so long was his own character file. He was about to step through the door when Sayori grabbed his hand and yanked him back.

“NO!” Sayori shouted. “You can’t go! I’d lose my childhood friend! My first friend! My neighbor and my…my…”

MC’s heart sank as Sayori broke down into uncontrollable sobs. He pulled her into a hug, trying to soothe her as best as he could.

“It’s okay, Sayori,” MC whispered. “You won’t even remember me. I promise.”

“But I want to remember you by keeping you with us,” Sayori begged. “See? I’m still alive! You don’t have to see me hang anymore!”

“We’re alive, too!” Natsuki interjected. “You don’t get to make the call to save us from something you’ve already prevented!”

“It’s a kind gesture, but Natsuki is right,” Yuri added. “We’re all alive, and we want you to stay.”

MC turned to Monika, who was frowning harder than he had ever seen her frown.

“If you go, what will happen to us? To our story in the game?” Monika asked meekly.

“I don’t know,” MC shook his head, “but I do know that the longer I wait, the more likely it becomes that you all die again.”

He looked up to the ceiling, and the girls did the same. The world above them was sending a red ring of light down, slowly but surely.

“It seems I’m shorter on time than I thought,” MC muttered. “That is a reset about to happen. I know this because I studied this game’s script thoroughly.”

“You mean…” Monika stopped short.

“That we’ll all die and lose our memories if I don’t do this,” MC finished her thought. “If I lose my memories, everything goes back to the original tale. All of you will die, and I’ll have to relearn everything to fix the problem. I won’t be the same me anymore.”

MC watched as the girls slowly but certainly conceded to his plan, though with obvious gripes of losing their newest clubmate and good friend. He turned once more to Sayori.

“I hope that next time your rainclouds will be so far away, Sayori, and you receive the help you need to overcome your depression,” he said calmly as he kissed her forehead.

MC then turned to Natsuki.

“You’re the strongest and bravest person I’ve ever known, Natsuki, and I pray you can keep your strength after this,” he stated as he kissed her cheek.

MC now focused on Yuri.

“You’ve been a wise and thoughtful teacher, Yuri; never let the world bring you down as you rise to the occasion and become better than before,” he smiled as he took her hand and kissed it.

At last, he turned to Monika. The two awkwardly stood there briefly before they spoke up.

“Monika, I know that you love the player instead, but-” MC started, but Monika stopped him.

“Not anymore,” she confessed. “I love you, MC. Thank you for being part of my life, and for being a member of the literature club.”

“Then may our love continue when the poem stops moving,” MC spoke in a barely audible voice.

The two shared a passionate kiss before MC turned once more and, this time without hesitation or interruption, passed through the bright doorway. It was searing, but he gritted his teeth as he pushed forward, reaching his character file.

“I love you all,” were his final words as he pressed the delete button on himself.

***

“Okay, everyone!” Monika cheerfully announced to Sayori, Yuri, and Natsuki. “That’s another club meeting wrapped up! Enjoy the weekend! We’ll meet again on Monday!”

“Bye, Monika!” Sayori waved as she stepped through the doorway.

“Make sure the teacher doesn’t move my manga again!” Natsuki demanded as she left as well.

“Another invigorating club meeting,” Yuri mused. “I’ll see you on Monday!”

As Yuri left, Monika sighed softly. She was happy to have this club, and her clubmates were the best. Life was perfect for her, yet, at the same time, she felt an empty spot in her chest. She looked out the window of the classroom, surveying the school grounds as her three best friends departed in different directions. She raised her hand to her lips, not knowing why she did so, and she shed a single tear.

“Where’s this coming from?” Monika asked herself.

She wiped the tear away and gathered her belongings before shutting off the light and closing the door to the literature club.