Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Now

Lisa and Carla were about a month into their relationship, and recently, Lisa had been spending more nights sleeping at Carla’s, than she had at her own house. This night in particular, they’d just planned to have a cosy night in front of the telly. Both being exhausted from their working weeks, and just content to spend the night in each other's company. They both loved that about each other, the fact they were happy to just be, without any expectations. 

As Lisa trudged up the stairs, she already knew she wouldn’t be great company. She’d had an absolutely awful day at work. She’d spent almost the entire day in an interview with this bloke. She knew he was guilty, but she just couldn’t get him to crack. Eventually, she’d just had to give it up, and they released him. She’d then had to spend the remainder of her shift, with Kit smugly reminding her that she had in fact not got this bloke to confess. Which is something she usually prided herself massively on. It was one of the only things she considered herself to be good at. 

As she reached the top, the door to the flat was already open slightly, so she pushed it open a little further, and was met with Carla already curled up under a blanket on the sofa. There were two glasses of wine already on the coffee table, with a couple of bowls of snacks too. 

“Hey, babe.” Carla said softly, as Lisa shed her coat. 

“Hey.” Lisa replied. She already knew what Carla’s next question would be, and she absolutely dreaded it. 

“How was work?” Carla said, standing up, making her way into Lisa’s personal space, to wrap her in an embrace.

“Can we just… forget about work? I just wanna spend some time with you. Is that okay?” Lisa asked gently, wrapping her arms around Carla’s waist and burrowing her face into her neck. 

“Course it’s okay, darling.” Carla replied, kissing Lisa’s temple, before leading her to the sofa where they both snuggled together under the blanket. 

Lisa hoped Carla wouldn’t bring work up again, because how could she possibly tell her that she’d failed at something she usually excelled at. Carla would tell her she’d let her down, that she was a failure. Because why wouldn’t she? It's what everyone else had always told her. 

— 

Then 

Lisa slowly walked up the garden path. She’d been dreading this all day. The inevitable question as soon as she walked through the door. She’d tried to delay it as much as she could, but having been unable to delay it any longer, she now found herself opening the front door, with shaking hands. 

As soon as she opened the door, she was met by her mother and father, eagerly waiting. 

“So, how did it go?!” Her mother asked, grinning from ear to ear. 

Lisa knew they’d already decided she’d passed with flying colours. But she had to tell them the truth, it’d only come back to bite her if she didn’t. 

“Yeah. Erm, about that. I, erm.” Lisa stuttered. “I didn’t pass.” She whispered, looking down at her shoes. 

“What do you mean!?” Her mother asked, almost shouting. Her smile having long disappeared. 

“I mean, I didn’t pass. I was just a few marks off.” Lisa clarified, somewhat hoping it’d make it better. She knew it wouldn’t really though. 

“I thought we could rely on you to be the daughter that didn’t fail us.” Her father spat. “Because you know that’s what you’ve done, don’t you. You’ve failed us.” He said, disappointment almost seeping from his pores. 

“I’m sorry.” Lisa whispered, tears stinging her eyes. 

“Yeah? Well sorry isn’t good enough!” Her mother spat. 

“It was only one exam. I got top marks in all my others.” Lisa said quietly. She still couldn’t face looking at them. 

“Oh! And that makes it better does it?!” Her dad asked sarcastically. He was clearly furious, but Lisa didn’t know what else she could do, she’d truly tried her best. 

“I’m sorry.” Lisa said again. She knew it wouldn’t change anything, but she didn’t know what else to say.

“Just get out of our sight.” Lisa obliged, and started making her way past them. “We’re so disappointed in you, we really thought you were better than this. You’ve let us down.” Her mother said, just as Lisa had reached the bottom of the stairs. 

She didn’t look back, she just headed to her bedroom. 

This wasn’t the end of Lisa disappointing her parents, in fact, it only got worse the older she got. Until she eventually managed to move out, and cut all contact with them. But the damage had already been done, her entire adult life, she was terrified of failing, of letting someone else down. It turned into a really big thing for Lisa. It was more than the exams. She was terrified of failing, everything. Even just small things at home, or in her work life. She had to excel at everything. And when she didn’t… 

— 

Now 

“Lis’?” 

“Lisa?” 

“Lisa!” 

Lisa shook her head slightly, finally pulling away from her thoughts. 

“Sorry, love. What did you say?” Lisa asked, still clearly distracted. 

“I asked if you wanted a top up.” Carla said, pointing to their glasses on the coffee table. 

“Er, yeah. Thanks.” Lisa replied. She really just needed a minute's space to regroup properly. 

“Are you okay? You’ve been away with the fairies all evening.” Carla asked gently, caressing Lisa’s cheek. 

“Sorry.” Lisa replied, finally looking Carla in the eye. 

“No, you’ve got nothing to be sorry for. I’m just checking in, that’s all.” Carla smiled. “Honestly, I’m more than happy to lie here holding you, whilst you recover from work.” 

It was at the mention of work that Lisa tensed. She feared this would happen. She didn’t know what to do for the best, did she tell Carla now? Or did she just leave it, and have it come back to bite her later down the line. 

After a few moments of deliberating whilst Carla topped their glasses up. She decided on the former, when Carla had joined her again on the sofa and started threading her fingers through the lengths of her hair.

“I didn’t manage to charge this bloke today, even though I knew he was guilty, we had to let him go, because I was the one that couldn’t get him to crack.” Lisa mumbled. “I’m sorry, I know I’ve failed you.” 

“What do you mean you’ve failed me? Lisa, we can’t all get it right all the time.” Carla replied softly.

“Well, let's just say, he wasn’t exactly in for petty car crime. He’ll go and do it again, and again, and again. It’s my job to keep the streets safe. And if I can’t do that, then I’ve let you down, I’ve let Betsy down too. It’s my job to make the world a safer place for her, and if I can’t then…” Lisa trailed off, worry seeping into her tone. She began to nervously fiddle with the cuffs of her sleeves. 

“Oh Lisa. You are allowed off days you know, even in a job like yours. It’s not your sole responsibility to keep the streets safe. There’s a whole team of coppers down at that station, it’s not just down to you.” Carla said gently, picking up Lisa’s hand and threading their fingers together. “And as for failing me, or Betsy. You’ve done nothing of the sort. You’ve got a high pressure job, and you’re doing your absolute best. You work so hard, and that’s all anyone can ever ask. Okay?” Carla said firmly. She truly wanted to rid Lisa of any thoughts of failure. She didn’t know where it had stemmed from, but she’d learnt quite early on that Lisa put a lot of pressure on herself when it came to her job. 

Lisa just nodded in response. She truly didn’t know how to react. 

This was the first time she’d ever explicitly been told that she hadn’t failed someone. Becky was never someone who dished out comfort or reassurance either, so she carried the guilt with her, always. 

—

Then 

Lisa was already two glasses of wine deep when Becky strolled through the door that evening.

Lisa had had a right day of it, so had clocked off early. 

They’d been after this bloke for months, but there wasn’t quite enough physical evidence to charge him. They were relying on an interview. 

An interview that Lisa was leading.

She was absolutely certain that she could get him to crack on her own. 

It was what she had always excelled at. 

But not this time.

They’d had to let him go. 

“Oh! You’re home?” Becky said as she stepped through into the living room. 

“Looks like it, doesn’t it?” Lisa replied sarcastically. She was in an awful mood, everyone at the station hadn’t exactly been friendly with her since that interview either. 

“Don’t get sarky with me, Lisa. If you hadn’t have been so big headed, and actually listened to some advice for a change, that bloke would be inside by now.” Becky gave back unkindly. 

“Do you think I don’t know that?” Lisa quipped. All she really wanted was to sit in the comfort of her own home, and forget about what had happened. 

“Oh whatever.” Becky rolled her eyes. She was just about to walk off, but she turned back round, and really unleashed what she was feeling. “Oh, and by the way, by doing things your way today, you’ve let everyone at the station down. We were all relying on you, and that interview today. So don’t forget that when he goes out there and does it again.” Becky snapped. 

Lisa’s eyes filled with tears, she knew that she had failed everyone down at the station, but being told that by the woman that was meant to love and support her no matter what. Yeah, that hurt. 

—

Now

Carla and Lisa had both settled down properly for the evening on the sofa. They were both sprawled full length, Lisa laying directly on top of Carla, with her head resting against her girlfriend’s chest. Carla was alternating between scratching her nails lightly up and down Lisa’s back, and combing her fingers through her hair. 

“Mmm that’s nice.” Lisa mumbled into Carla’s chest, as she scratched up and down her back again.

Carla chuckled softly. “Yeah?” 

“Yeah.” Lisa mumbled once again. 

“Good, I’m glad.” Carla smiled. “You seem to have relaxed a bit more since earlier.” She commented, swapping back to stroking Lisa’s hair. 

Lisa shifted a little so she could look at Carla a bit better. 

“Yeah, I have. It’s all thanks to you.” Lisa said sincerely. “I forgot to say earlier, but thank you for saying what you did when I’d told you about work.” 

“Lis’, you don’t have to thank me.” Carla said softly, still combing through Lisa’s hair.

“No, I do. It’s been years since anyone has reassured me like that.” Lisa replied, leaning up and pressing a kiss to Carla’s lips. 

Carla smiled sadly at Lisa in response, before pressing a kiss into her hair. 

Lisa had found that Carla only ever seemed to throw her that look whenever she mentioned Becky. She wasn’t quite sure if it was pity, or something else. 

But she didn’t have time to dwell on that now. 

She was just somewhat relieved that Carla had taken the comment about reassurance as no one having reassured her since Becky had died. 

But what she’d really meant, is it had been way longer, but that wasn’t a can of worms she was willing to open right now.

She didn’t know if she’d ever received reassurance like Carla gave her. It was something that would take a lot of getting used to. 

Chapter Text

Now 

As Lisa slowly awoke, she felt Carla’s arm loosely draped over her waist, anchoring her. 

Today was her birthday. 

Lisa purposely hadn’t told Carla, and she highly doubted Betsy had told her either. Even though they’d been together for 10 months, and gone through a whole house move together, she’d still somehow managed to avoid telling her. 

Even on Carla’s birthday, she’d managed to avoid the question. 

She just didn’t think it’d matter either way, whether Carla knew or not. 

Her birthdays had never been anything to write home about, even - no, especially - with Becky. 

— 

Then

“Morning, darling.” Lisa mumbled, as she rolled over to face Becky. 

“Morning.” Becky grumbled, never being one for mornings. 

It was Lisa’s birthday. She’d been with Becky for almost 9 years now. She wasn’t particularly fussed about her birthdays anymore. She had been, once upon a time. But Becky wasn’t a big fan of birthdays, so never really organised anything. Last year, it was a card that she’d quickly scribbled in the car, and some flowers from the supermarket, both having been bought on the way home from work after she’d almost forgotten.

The first birthday she’d had with Becky had made her realise that Becky wasn’t a fan of anything to do with special occasions. She’d bought her a takeaway and they’d spent the rest of the evening in bed. 

She told herself she didn’t mind, of course she didn’t, she had everything she wanted already. A wife, and now a daughter too, what more could she ask for. 

“Do you want a brew?” Lisa asked, as she pulled the covers back and got out of bed. 

“Yeah. Thanks.” Becky mumbled, still half asleep. 

Lisa sighed as she got up, she was kind of glad she was at work today, she could just bury herself in that, and forget all about the fact it’s her birthday. 

Once she’d taken Becky’s brew upstairs. They both went about their morning routines, before heading on the school run with Betsy, and then onto work. 

When they got home. Lisa sorted tea out, whilst Becky sat in the living room with Betsy. She took their plates through to the living room so they could eat in front of the telly. She sat down at the opposite end of the sofa to Becky, keeping quiet. It was quite obvious Becky had forgotten. 

“Mummy?” Betsy said, tapping Becky’s leg.

“Yes, darling?” Becky replied. 

“Is it not Mummy’s birthday today?” Betsy whispered, or at least she tried to. 

Lisa kept quiet, pretending she hadn’t heard, keeping her eyes firmly trained on her plate. 

“Oh!” She stalled for time, she truly hadn’t even thought about it. “Yes, it is.” 

“So have we got her a cake? Everyone always has cake on their birthday!” Betsy said excitedly, clearly expecting there to be a cake.

“Er, no, the shop didn’t have any, sweetheart.” Becky replied. Before turning to Lisa. 

“I hadn’t forgotten, love. Your present is upstairs, later.” Becky said, throwing a sultry smile Lisa’s way.

Lisa knew exactly what it meant, they’d spend the evening having sex, before falling asleep, and Lisa’s birthday not even being mentioned. 

— 

Now

Lisa felt Carla wake up from behind her, she could feel her shuffling around slightly, and her breathing changing. 

Carla mumbled something under her breath, but Lisa couldn’t make it out. So she rolled over to face Carla, and brushed a strand of hair away from her face. 

“What was that, darling?” She said, as she caressed her cheek.

Carla fully opened her eyes, and smiled lovingly at Lisa. “Happy birthday, my love.” 

“Wha-how… How did you know?” Lisa asked, her hand stilling on Carla’s face. 

“Your detective skills are clearly rubbing off on me. Did you seriously not think that one of the first things I did when we got together was find out your birthday?” Carla asked, chuckling slightly, as if it was obvious. 

Carla leant in to kiss Lisa, which Lisa quickly deepened. It had been years since anyone had remembered her birthday, Betsy even forgetting after Becky had died, both too caught up in their grief to even give it a second thought. 

After a few minutes, Carla pulled back. “Right, missus, you stay right here, I’ll fetch you a brew in a minute, and we’ve got something for you.” Carla said, pressing one last kiss to Lisa’s lips, before hopping out of bed. 

“We?” Lisa asked, intrigued.

“Yes, we! Me and Betsy, obviously. Who else did you think I meant?” Carla asked, giggling. Before heading downstairs to meet Betsy in the kitchen. 

Once Carla had gone, Lisa teared up. She truly had never felt so loved. 

It wasn’t long before Carla returned, with Betsy in tow. Carla had a tray, with 3 plates of pancakes on, the middle one with a ring of flickering candles on top. Betsy was carrying a tray with 2 cups of coffee, and 3 glasses of orange juice. They were both singing happy birthday at the top of their lungs, huge grins on their faces. 

“You didn’t have to do all this!” Lisa said, despite the growing smile on her face. 

“Course we did! Now hurry up and blow these candles out before they completely melt all over your breakfast.” Carla replied. 

Lisa obliged, blowing each and every one out. 

It was such a small thing in the grand scheme of things, but it meant the absolute world to Lisa. 

Betsy rounded the bed, and came to sit beside Lisa, Carla motioning for Lisa to move up, so she could sit on the other side of her. 

Once they’d finished eating, Carla and Betsy shared a knowing look over Lisa’s head. 

“Mum, shall we go downstairs so you can open your presents now?” Betsy asked eagerly. 

“You’ve got me presents as well!? Lisa asked, clearly shocked. She was so used to organising everyone else’s birthdays, and going all out for them, but it was never reciprocated. She truly hadn’t expected all this, this year. 

“Well yeah!” Carla replied, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. 

Betsy cast a sad glance at her mum, which Lisa had immediately clocked that Carla had picked up on. 

When Lisa made eye contact with her, Carla gave her hand a quick squeeze. 

As they got to the bottom of the stairs, Ryan came crashing through the door, fresh from his morning run. 

“Happy Birthday!” He said excitedly the minute he saw Lisa. Who thanked him and smiled in return. “I’d give you a hug but I’m all sweaty.” He chuckled.

“Yeah, I’ll pass thanks.” Lisa grinned. She’d formed a strong bond with Ryan since her and Carla first got together, she truly saw him as her nephew. Not that she’d ever tell him that, she didn’t want to step on any toes. 

As Ryan jogged up the stairs, Lisa turned back to where Carla and Betsy were now standing on either side of the coffee table. There were numerous wrapped presents, and more than a few gift bags as well. There were three cards propped up against some of the wrapped gifts. One addressed to ‘Mum’. One addressed to ‘Lisa’, with a heart drawn next to it. And the other addressed to… ‘Auntie Lisa.’ 

Lisa teared up at the sight of it all. She’d never imagined that she’d ever get to have anything like this. 

That thought had remained for the entire day, especially when Roy had arrived at the house with a birthday cake for Lisa. She couldn’t remember the last time anyone had got her a cake for her birthday. 

The whole day was overwhelming, but in the best way. 

She felt so lucky to have a family like this. 

She briefly wondered if this was how a family should be, because it certainly wasn’t anything she’d experienced before. 

Chapter Text

Now

As Lisa stepped through the door, finally getting home from work, she toed her boots off, and lined them up neatly on the shoe rack. Before heading through into the living room to greet her fiancé. 

As she pushed open the door to the living room, she was greeted by the smell of some sort of pasta sauce. The lights were all dimmed, and there were numerous flickering candles dotted around the kitchen. 

“What’s all this?” Lisa asked, slightly taken aback, as she reached the kitchen. 

Sure, they often had romantic dinners, but they were usually always pre-planned. Or even on the odd occasion that they weren’t, there was always some sort of reason behind them. Something that Lisa could pinpoint exactly why Carla had done it. A birthday, an end of week night in, after an awful working week. But never just a random, romantic midweek meal. It wasn’t ever really something they could do, they had to plan things like this around Lisa’s shifts, or whether the kids were going to be in. 

So, today. She was stumped. 

“Just thought we deserved a nice romantic evening.” Carla replied. She quickly turned her attention to the pan on the hob that was about to bubble over. 

Ah, there it is. Thought Lisa. 

She didn’t even attempt to greet Carla the way she usually would. She’d been quietly dreading that this moment would come. That this would happen. It had always seemed inevitable, given everything that had happened before. 

– 

Then 

As Lisa pushed open the front door, she was met with the smell of a herby tomato sauce, something she’d grown to associate with nights like this. She took a deep breath, steeled herself, and stepped through into the kitchen. 

“What’s all this?” Lisa asked. She knew what it was, she’d learnt the pattern now. She’d had to, for her own sake, over the past few years. 

“Just thought we deserved a romantic evening.” Becky replied, turning away from Lisa, avoiding eye contact, whilst she stirred the sauce. 

Lisa sighed as she headed back to the hallway to take her coat off. Before heading back into the kitchen. 

“Thank you, darling.” Lisa said, as she came to stand next to Becky, pressing a kiss to her cheek. Of course, even after all this time, she had to pretend that she didn’t know exactly what was going on. 

After she’d poured herself a glass of wine, she knew she’d need plenty of it this evening, she went and sat at the table. Which Becky had set with plates and cutlery, as well as a few flickering candles, clearly trying to make it a romantic setting. However, Lisa wasn’t really in the romantic mood, given she knew what would be coming. 

Becky eventually brought the food over, and as they ate, they made small talk about work. Lisa became more and more on edge as the evening wore on. 

“Lisa?” Becky tentatively started, once they’d both placed their forks down. Ah, there it is, Lisa thought. 

“Yeah?” She replied, taking a big mouthful of her wine. 

“Erm, this is difficult.” Becky began. Should be less difficult now, the amount of times you’ve done it. Lisa said to herself in her head. 

“Go on, what’s up?” Lisa asked gently, maintaining her composure, as if she didn’t know exactly what Becky was about to say. 

“Um, you know that new PC at work?” Becky asked. 

“The one that gave you her number, and you promised nothing would happen?” Lisa clarified. Her hackles were rising already. How many more times was this going to happen? 

“Yeah. That one. Well, we, erm, she… we kissed.” Becky finally managed. 

“When?” Lisa asked. 

“At that work night out the other night.” Becky replied. 

“Will it happen again?” Lisa asked, even though she knew it would, if not with this PC, it’d be with someone else. 

“No, no way. She was nowhere near as good as you.” Becky quickly answered. Smile forming on her lips. Clearly thinking all would be okay if she complimented Lisa in that way. Almost as if that’s all she was good for, because it was the only thing she did get compliments about from Becky. 

“Oh, that’s alright then isn't it?!” Lisa gave back sarcastically. “So if she had been ‘better than’ me, would you have done it again?!” 

“Er, no, I don't thin- No, definitely not.” Becky replied uncertainly.  

“Right, yeah, thought as much.” Lisa scoffed. “I’m going for a walk.” She said as she stood up, pushing her chair back harshly. 

This whole thing had started just a couple of years into their relationship. Then it became a somewhat regular occurrence, especially over the past few years. 

At first it started out, with Becky ‘apologising’ for flirting with other colleagues, whenever Lisa caught her. She always promised it’d never happen again, and at first Lisa naively believed her. However now, she suspected that a lot more than flirting had gone on back then as well.

She knew she should leave. Knew it’d be better all round. But she just couldn’t bring herself to. How could she do that to her family? It’d break Betsy’s heart. So, no. She had to stay. And besides, Becky always told her it was just a laugh, or a mistake. It wouldn’t happen again. It was just a stupid kiss. It never meant anything. So maybe it was just part of normal married life. 

– 

Now 

Lisa went and sat down at the kitchen island whilst Carla finished off cooking their meal. 

“So what’s all this about then?” Lisa asked, leaning back in her chair and folding her arms. 

She wanted to get the inevitable out of the way as soon as possible. 

Her heart was racing, she truly hadn’t expected that this moment would come with Carla. 

There was a small niggle in her mind, that maybe, just maybe, this was Carla actually just doing something nice. 

It wasn’t that she didn’t trust Carla, because she really did. 

But her insecurities from the past were well and truly taking over, and she just couldn’t help but worry. 

“Nothing! I told you, I just thought we deserved a nice night in, without a takeaway, for a change.” Carla explained, smiling at Lisa. 

“Okay. What’ve you done?” Lisa asked, slightly more sharply than she intended to. 

“Nothing. I’m an angel, me!” Carla grinned. As she glanced at Lisa again, she saw worry etched across her face. 

Carla had learnt that occasionally, Lisa needed reassurance that Carla hadn’t done anything, or wasn’t going anywhere. She wasn’t sure exactly why. Lisa hadn’t opened up all that much about her past. She presumed it was something that had happened before she’d met Becky, given she’d always spoken so highly of Becky. 

But still, she’d recognised it, quite early on in their relationship. 

She hadn’t wanted to pry though, Lisa would open up about things in her own time, if she ever felt she wanted to. 

Carla walked over to Lisa, and stood in front of her, placing her hands on both of Lisa’s legs. 

“Look at me, baby.” Carla said softly. 

Lisa looked at her. 

“I promise, I haven’t done anything. This is just a nice evening in, okay?” Carla said, looking Lisa in the eye the entire time. 

Lisa continued to look at her for a moment longer, and seeing nothing but love and affection in Carla’s eyes, she finally allowed herself to relax a little. 

“Okay.” Lisa said quietly. 

“Okay?” Carla repeated back to her, a small smile on her face.

Lisa nodded, the faintest of smiles on her face too. 

“Good. Can I have my kiss now?” Carla asked, grinning at Lisa. 

It was an unspoken rule that they had between them, that as soon as they got home from somewhere, or came back into a room after leaving for a while, they always gave the other a kiss. Carla couldn’t deny that she’d missed it tonight when Lisa had barely even greeted her. 

Lisa leant forward, and obliged, kissing Carla softly. 

Throughout their meal, Lisa relaxed more and more. She truly felt awful that she’d even doubted Carla. She made a mental note to apologise to her later.

By the time they’d both finished their meals, Lisa was totally back to herself, and they were flirting and giggling like school kids. Much to the dismay of Betsy, who had not long since arrived home. 

“You two do know that there are other people living in this house don't you? Other people who would quite like to eat their own food without watching you two all over each other.” Betsy remarked, a slightly disgusted look on her face when Carla nuzzled her face further into Lisa’s neck. 

“Don’t worry, we’ll get out of your hair.” Carla said. She stood up and took Lisa’s hand, leading her to the living room. 

She was sure she’d heard Betsy say ‘like that’s much better!’ but she just giggled in response. 

They both flopped down in the corner of the sofa, laying face to face, with their limbs tangled. 

Carla threaded her fingers through Lisa’s hair, whilst Lisa traced soothing patterns up and down Carla’s arm. 

“I’m sorry for not believing you straight away about it just being a nice meal together.” Lisa said sincerely. 

“It’s okay.” Carla reassured, pressing a kiss to Lisa’s temple. 

“No, Carla, it’s not okay. I should’ve believed you.” Lisa gave back. 

“Lis’, you’re forgiven, okay?” Carla soothed. 

Lisa nodded in response. 

They sat in silence for a while, leaving them both with just their thoughts. 

Lisa was still stewing over the evening, even though Carla had forgiven her, she still felt like she shouldn’t have reacted like that, or doubted Carla. 

Carla was too stewing over the evening, but she was more just worried about Lisa. She of course had picked up little things here and there, but Lisa had never really told her much about her past. She’d of course told her bits about her marriage with Becky, and how much of a good mum she’d been to Betsy. 

She decided she should just bite the bullet and open the conversation up to it a little. Whether Lisa wanted to tell her anything, was her call, and she’d respect that either way. She’d never force her to tell her anything. 

“Lis’?” Carla said softly.

Lisa hummed in response. 

“Can I ask you something?” She asked, gently. She wanted to show Lisa that she was definitely still forgiven. 

“Course.” Lisa said, lifting her head slightly so she could look at Carla properly. 

“Y’know earlier… with that at teatime?” Carla broached. 

Lisa tensed in Carla’s arms, so she soothingly ran her hand up and down Lisa’s back. 

She decided to still continue.

“I know you don’t really like talking about your past much, and that’s okay, you don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to. But did I do something tonight that caused you to feel like that?” She asked, her tone still soft. 

When Lisa made eye contact with her, she saw nothing but love and support in her eyes. 

She did want to open up, just a bit. But she just still hadn’t figured out what it all meant in her head. But she knew she owed Carla some sort of explanation. 

“Okay… yeah… someone I used to be with did that, made a random surprise midweek meal, dressed it up as a romantic dinner, then told me that they’d cheated on me.” Lisa explained. It wasn’t the whole truth, but it wasn’t exactly a lie either. 

“Oh Lis’, I’m sorry.” Carla said sincerely, pressing a kiss into Lisa’s hair. 

“I know it doesn’t excuse me doubting you, course it doesn’t. But it just brought it all back.” She added, sighing. 

“No, I get it. It’s bound to have affected you. I’m just sorry that it brought it all back for you.” Carla replied, before pressing a kiss to Lisa’s forehead. “Is there anything I can do to reassure you, or just make you feel better?” 

Lisa’s eyes filled with tears, but she quickly blinked them away. 

“You’re already doing it.” Lisa gave back, smiling softly at Carla. 

“Well promise me you’ll let me know if I can ever do anything else please?” Carla waited for Lisa to agree she would, before continuing. “And if you do ever want to talk about your past, you know you can with me?” Carla checked. 

“Course. And I will, eventually. I just… yeah.” Lisa trailed off when she felt Carla squeeze her hand. She knew she understood. 

“It’s okay.” Carla said, cementing the fact for Lisa that she just got it. “And just for the record, I hope you know that I would never cheat on you.” Carla added firmly. She wanted to make sure Lisa knew that she’d never look elsewhere. 

Lisa smiled and nodded in response, she didn’t really know what else to say. All this reassurance still felt a little bit foreign to her. 

“I love you.” Lisa said sincerely, her eyes glassy. 

“I love you too, baby.” Carla gave back softly. 

They both met in the middle for a gentle kiss. 

Lisa truly didn’t think she’d ever been loved like this before. The way Carla loved her so unconditionally, and didn’t hold anything against her. And that’s without even getting started on the reassurance that Carla gives her, she’d truly never experienced anything like it in her life. 

It had her wondering all over again, if this was how relationships were meant to be. Was Carla showing her what love was meant to be like? 

Chapter Text

Now

It was gone midnight by the time Kit carefully helped Lisa out of the passenger side of the car, and up the garden path. Before Lisa could even fish her key from her pocket and let herself in, the front door swung open. 

“Bloody hell. Lisa, I’ve been worried sick. What’s happened?” Carla asked, her words all tumbling out in one breath, as soon as she clapped eyes on Lisa’s bloody and bruised face. 

She reached out for Lisa, who gratefully stepped away from Kit. She hadn’t wanted his help anyway. 

Carla held Lisa’s hand carefully, and thanked Kit, before leading them both inside. 

Lisa had barely even been able to look at Carla, nevermind answer the questions that kept tumbling from her lips. She hadn’t wanted to see Carla’s reaction to this.

Carla led Lisa over to the sofa, and carefully got her settled in the corner, before kneeling in front of her. She wanted to be careful of where she touched, not knowing what had happened. All she knew was that Lisa was injured. Badly. If the cuts on her face and the way she hobbled up the garden path with Kit supporting almost her entire weight, were anything to go by. 

“Are you gonna tell me what’s happened, baby?” Carla asked softly. There were all sorts of scenarios running through her head, each one worse than the last. 

“It’s nothing. I’m fine.” Lisa said. She really didn’t want to get into it. It was just the usual, and anyway, she’d be fine in a few days. Good as new. 

“Lis’ you’re not fine, darling.” Carla said softly. She tentatively reached out and threaded her fingers through Lisa’s hair. 

Lisa weighed up whether to tell Carla or not, she really just wanted a nice bath, and to get into bed. She didn’t want to keep having to go over it again and again. 

But when Lisa looked Carla in the eye, for the first time that night, she could see the sheer worry in her eyes. 

She knew she owed her an explanation, purely so she didn’t keep fearing the worst. 

“Oh, it was just an arrest gone wrong.” Lisa said vaguely. Carla urged her to carry on. “Erm. I arrested this bloke. I had it all under control, I had him on his stomach in cuffs. But then his mate came out from nowhere, from behind me. He must’ve just snuck up on me, because the next thing I know, I'm flat on my stomach and he’s kicking me. Obviously just wanted to make sure I wouldn’t get up again. But anyway, a hot bath and I'll be good as new.” Lisa explained, she couldn’t even make eye contact with Carla, so worried about her reaction. Yeah, of course she’d been injured on duty before whilst she’d been with Carla, but never like this. 

“Oh, baby.” Carla said softly. “Will you let me look?” She asked so gently that it made Lisa want to cry. But she couldn’t. She needed to make sure she didn’t look weak. 

—-

Then

Lisa limped up the driveway and through the front door. Her leg was killing, well, her entire body was really. She just wanted to get in, have a hot bath, and spend the evening in front of the telly. 

She slowly toed her boots off, her injury making it much harder than usual. She then carefully took her coat off, and hung that up too, her ribs pinching as she reached up to the hook. 

As she stepped into the living room, she saw Becky sprawled full length on the couch.

“Bloody hell, Lis’. Aren’t you a sight for sore eyes?” Becky giggled. 

“Yeah. Well, cracked ribs and a sprained ankle will do that to you.” Lisa snapped. She really wasn’t in the mood for this. She just wanted to get in the bath.

She’d already been checked over at the hospital. Reluctantly, mind you. She wouldn’t have gone at all, had her boss not turned up at the scene. 

“I don’t know what you’re snapping at me for, Lisa. You were the one that got all cocky with him.” Becky said, her attention already back on the tv. 

“Becky. I was literally just doing my job. It was just an arrest that went wrong, it was his fault if anything. If he hadn’t started calling me all the names under the sun, and shoving me about, we wouldn’t even be having this discussion.” Lisa tried to defend herself, but she knew it was no use. 

Becky just ignored her. 

“Right. Well I’m going for a bath, then I’m gonna make some tea so I can take these painkillers.” Lisa said, already heading for the stairs. 

“Painkillers? For God’s Sake, Lis’, it’s not even that bad. I thought you were meant to be the tough one. Not being weak like this.” Becky scoffed.

Lisa just ignored her. She headed upstairs for a bath, hoping it would ease the pain so she wouldn’t have to show Becky how weak she was by taking those painkillers. 

—--

Now

Carla had carefully led Lisa by the hand to their bedroom. She was now crouched in front of Lisa, who was perched on the edge of their bed. 

“Can I lift your top so I can have a look, darling?” Carla asked gently, as she placed her fingers at the edge of Lisa’s work shirt. Which had long been untucked from her trousers, presumably during the scuffle. 

She waited for Lisa’s nod of approval, and slowly lifted her shirt, to just below her bra. 

Carla gasped at the colour of Lisa’s ribs, even just from the front. She was black and blue all over her torso.

She wordlessly stood up and cautiously peered round to Lisa’s back, knowing it would be worse there, given that’s where she was kicked the most. 

She couldn’t contain her tears as she saw boot marks literally imprinted on Lisa’s back. 

“Lisa.” Carla choked out, letting her shirt go so it covered the bruises once more. 

“Honestly. I’ll be fine after a bath.” Lisa said, still not really making eye contact with Carla.

“Hang on… have you not got any painkillers? Did the hospital not give you any? Cos that looks nasty, Lis’.” Carla said, another tear slipping free. She went to stroke Lisa’s face, but then had to stop herself when she saw the bruises and scratches covering her face. 

“I didn’t go.” Lisa mumbled, looking down at her lap. 

“What do you mean? Lisa! You could’ve cracked a rib or anything. Please, let's go to the hospital.” Carla practically begged. She couldn’t deal with seeing Lisa in this much pain, and she really didn’t want to find out the hard way, later down the line, that she’d injured something internally.

“No, I’m fine. Honestly, Carla, it looks far worse than it is.” Lisa tried for a smile, but it didn’t quite reach her eyes. 

“Please, darling? For me? There’s nothing wrong with asking for some help sometimes, y’know.” Carla was practically begging at this point. So she decided to really voice her concerns, hoping that it would convince Lisa. “Besides, surely you’d rather be safe than sorry? Surely you’d rather get checked out now, than find out that you’ve damaged something internally later down the line?” 

“No, I'll only be wasting their time.” Lisa gave back firmly. She’d heard it so many times in her life, that she rarely went to the doctors, or the hospital for anything, no matter how bad it was.

—-

Then

Lisa came home from school clutching her arm. She’d fallen during netball, and one of the girls had accidentally stood on her wrist. She’d heard a crunch, and she was absolutely certain it was at least fractured. 

The teachers had wanted her to go to the hospital, but she hadn’t wanted to miss the rest of her lessons, so had played it down. She promised that she’d go when she got home if it got any worse. Which of course, it did. 

She stepped into the kitchen where her mother was preparing their tea. 

“Oh! Lisa, perfect timing. Come and peel these potatoes for me.” Her mother requested, barely even casting a glance at Lisa. 

“I can’t. I’ve hurt my wrist, mum. School said I should get it checked out.” Lisa said sheepishly. She knew her mum wouldn’t like this, and dreaded her reaction.

“You’re just saying that to get out of helping with tea tonight.” She gave back, concentrating on the carrots she was peeling. 

“No, I’m not. Look.” Lisa said, as she rolled her sleeve up to reveal bruising, and swelling around her wrist. 

“Oh, that’s nothing Lisa. You’ll be right as rain in a day or so.” Her mother said. She turned to the drawer and pulled out the peeler for Lisa. She handed it over, clearly expecting her to still help with tea. 

Lisa reluctantly obliged. 

Her wrist was screaming at her to stop the entire time, but she had to continue. 

By the time she’d finished the first potato, she had tears streaming down her face, and was biting her cheek to stop the sobs escaping. 

She’d never felt pain like it, but she couldn’t stop now.

She really didn’t want to get on the wrong side of her mother tonight. 

So she continued. 

By the time she’d reached the final few potatoes, she could barely even grip the peeler anymore. 

Tears continued to stream down her face, and she’d bitten her cheek so hard, she could taste blood. 

Once she’d finally finished, Lisa tried convincing her mum one last time. Her wrist was in agony, she knew she really should go and get it checked out at the hospital. 

“Mum, look, I’ve helped with tea, please can we go and get my wrist checked out. It’s really hurting, and I’m sure it’s swelled up even more.” A sob escaped as Lisa explained. 

“I’ve said no, Lisa. You’ll only be wasting their time. Stick a bag of peas on it if you’re that bothered. But I’m not having you go to hospital just for a sore wrist.” Her mum decided firmly. She’d barely even glanced at Lisa’s wrist, the tea clearly being more important. 

—

Now

After a lot of gentle persuasion, Carla had finally managed to convince Lisa to go to the hospital.

They were currently sitting on those awful waiting room chairs. 

It was beyond Carla why they didn’t invest in some better quality ones, given that half the people that would be there would be in pain. 

She held Lisa’s hand firmly in her own, tracing patterns on it, hoping it would soothe her. 

Lisa had barely spoken since they’d arrived.

She wasn’t used to this. All this being cared for, looked after. Whenever something like this had happened in the past, she’d always had to deal with it on her own. Always. 

Lisa jumped from her thoughts when her name was called. 

Carla stayed with her until she had to go for her scans, sitting beside her, holding her hand. 

Just providing some steady support. 

But even when Lisa did go for her scans, Carla promised she’d wait for her. 

The look of relief when Lisa came from the X-Ray room and realised that Carla hadn’t left her, hadn’t gone unnoticed by Carla. 

When Lisa was eventually discharged, they collected Lisa’s painkillers together, and headed home. 

They’d both breathed an audible sigh of relief when the nurse had told them that there was no internal damage, and all she’d need were some painkillers for the pain. She’d cracked a few ribs, and the cuts and bruises would heal, so there wasn’t much cause for concern.

When they got home, Carla carefully led Lisa upstairs, and sat her down once again on the edge of the bed. 

She went over to their (now communal) pyjama drawer, and pulled out Lisa’s favourite pair of pyjamas. The ones that were, coincidentally, Carla’s. Or at least, they used to be. 

“Do you want some help getting changed, darling?” Carla asked, softly. 

Lisa nodded in response, “Sorry.” She added, not wanting to be a burden to Carla. 

“You’ve got nothing to apologise for. Let’s get you into these pyjamas shall we?” Carla checked once more. 

She waited for Lisa to nod in response, before she started to undress her. 

Lisa had wanted to cry at the softness in which Carla was touching her. She could barely speak, knowing that her voice would give away her emotions. 

But she knew that Carla had picked up on it anyway.

They both eventually settled under the covers after finishing the tea and toast that Carla had brought upstairs for them both. 

“Thank you.” Lisa murmured, as Carla shuffled closer to Lisa. 

“What for, darling?” Carla asked, confusion etched on her face. 

“For convincing me to go to the hospital, for staying with me, helping me get changed.” Lisa explained, picking up Carla’s hand and giving it a grateful squeeze. 

“Lis’, you don’t need to thank me. You’re my fiancée, it’s my job to look after you.” Carla said, as if it really was that simple. Which of course, to Carla, it was. 

Lisa shot her a watery smile, and thanked her softly again.

Carla rolled her eyes and smiled in response.

“Come on, baby. Let’s get some sleep.” Carla turned to flick the lamp off, and pulled the covers around them more snugly. “If you need anything in the night, just wake me, Lis’.” 

Lisa just nodded, not wanting her voice to betray her and give away the fact that a few tears had slipped down her face. 

Lisa didn’t know what to do with the realisation that she wouldn’t have to go through anything on her own again. That Carla would always support her, always look after her. 

The realisation overwhelmed her. She’d never had anything like this before. 

No matter how long she’d been with Carla already, she didn’t think she’d ever get used to the fact that Carla was there for her. Always.