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Hana Kawamura, second year at Salt Middle, did her absolute best to fit in with the other girls. As a kid, she’d been into unconventional things like bugs and mushrooms and making “potions” out of mud and plants in the backyard. But she’d been called weird by the other kids, and gradually learned to assimilate into the culture of other girls around her in order to try to actually make friends.
One of the shared interests of many of the girls in her year was one Ritsu Kageyama, the vice president of the student council. He was, by all accounts, a smart, serious, straight-laced young man, with a cute face to boot; the ideal middle school boyfriend for any girl lucky enough to not be rejected, which, so far, was none of them. Many of the girls had made it their sincere goal to change themselves to try to impress him. A part of Hana thought it was a little sad, but she decided to join in – she’d already done this song and dance before, and it had worked, right?
She didn’t actually expect to be any different from the other girls who shot their shot at Kageyama, but she was the one who just so happened to find out that the boy was absolutely not who he seemed to be.
Hana left school after her anime club, which was truthfully when most students left, as there might not have been a single soul left in the school who didn’t get pressured into a club. Perhaps once or twice, she saw Kageyama leave, and this weird other kid appeared out of nowhere next to him. He was very striking in appearance and mannerisms, sporting hair and clothing that would not fly at Salt Middle. Kageyama seemed a bit startled sometimes when he showed up, but then his serious expression would ease into a light smile as they walked together. Were they friends? Hana had assumed Kageyama’s friends were in the student council. Perhaps it made sense that such a popular guy would have friends outside of school, but this boy seemed very different from the uptight student council.
That’s when it first occurred to her that maybe Kageyama wasn’t that much different from her.
And by some stroke of sheer convenience, she found out much more about him than she expected.
Hana lived near the edge of the city. It got tiring sometimes, having to commute forty-five minutes to and from school every day, but she also rather enjoyed hiking in the woods near her house. She liked collecting mushrooms, and birdwatching. It was on one of her regular hikes that she started to hear shouting and crashing coming from what she knew to be a clearing deep in the woods. She hurried over to the source of the noise. If someone was in trouble, she might be the only one who was around to help them.
When she arrived at the clearing, she was struck by a bizarre sight. Two people were… fighting? But it was like one of those shonen anime battles with superpowers, because they were moving around way too quickly to be normal, and there were also rocks and tree branches flying around like they were caught in a tornado. The air felt static, like a storm was about to hit, but the sky was a deep cloudless blue.
Hana crouched in the bushes, one to decrease her chance of being hit by debris, and two because she didn’t really want to be seen by those guys. But she didn’t want to look away. It was exactly like one of her shonen animes. But in real life. She couldn’t make out the features of the two combatants, but the fallen trees, stones, and sometimes the earth itself moved seemingly at the command of the guys’ arm movements. She’d known about espers, of course, what with the world domination nonsense that everyone had memed the hell out of a year or so ago, but to see them in action was something else.
Eventually, one of them caught his leg in between chunks of shifting earth, and was tackled to the ground by the other. Both panting, the victor loomed over the one on the ground, before a grin split his face and he announced, “Got you back, Ritsu!”
Wait, what the heck? Hana quickly retrieved her birdwatching binoculars to zoom in on the pair now that they were relatively still. The victor was helping up the loser from the ground, a bracing hand on his back, and Hana recognized a familiar spiky hairstyle. That was Ritsu Kageyama! And the other guy was that kid that tries to jumpscare him at the gate all the time!
Despite looking rather beaten up, Kageyama let out an exhilarated laugh. “I almost got you that time though, Suzuki! Although, that still wouldn’t even our score from the beginning…”
“You’ll never let me forget that, huh?” the kid, Suzuki apparently, sighed.
“That we met when I got kidnapped by your dad’s evil organization, tried to escape, and you foiled my escape attempt by beating me unconscious?” Kageyama’s words seemed pretty serious, but a wry smile could be heard in his voice.
“Apparently not,” Suzuki whined. “Hey, we should get some soba once we catch our breath. I’m beat.”
The two espers quieted as they retrieved water bottles from a backpack nearby, leaving Hana in stunned silence. That was for sure Kageyama, vice president Ritsu Kageyama, the serious straight-laced top student from her grade. And he was an esper who had Naruto battles with some weird kid in the woods. Was that part about how they met even true? Did they have any reason to lie not thinking anyone was around? It could be an inside joke, but… the name Suzuki rang a bell. It was a common name, but. Wait.
Dad’s evil organization…
Was this kid related to Eyebrows Guy? The meme from a year ago? The esper that wanted to take over the world and destroyed half of Seasoning City before being arrested, but everyone just memed on him because of his eyebrows? His name was Suzuki, right? Kageyama’s friend was the son of a nationwide meme?
She couldn’t help it. She burst out into laughter, echoing across the clearing, not hearing the footsteps approaching.
“Who are you? How did you find us?!” Suzuki demanded. Hana’s head shot up. The boy’s face was flushed crimson. Kageyama walked up behind him.
“Kageyama!” Hana burst out. “I’m Kawamura from algebra class, and I’m really sorry! I didn’t mean to intrude…!”
“Kawamura?” Kageyama asked, brows furrowed. “What are you doing out here? And why were you laughing?”
“Well, I live around here,” Hana said, rubbing her cheek. “And I usually hike up here… I had no idea you and your friend, uh, hung out here.”
Kageyama exchanged a glance with Suzuki.
“And, I was laughing, because… well…” She averted her eyes from Suzuki’s weirdly piercing stare. Which was familiar, because she’d seen a similar stare in many memes. “Uh, I didn’t know you did… all this… with the, um. Eyebrows Guy’s son.”
Suzuki looked mortified, like Hana was the one with crazy telekinesis and he was the normal guy and she was about to blast him into orbit with mind powers, but Kageyama burst into laughter, clutching his abdomen. Hana chuckled nervously as he fell to the ground. Were those tears in his eyes?
“Eyebrows Guy?” Suzuki asked quietly, pathetically, big blue eyes staring sadly into her soul.
“He was… a meme… a while back,” Hana supplied.
“Pops was a meme?” Suzuki whimpered.
Kageyama howled with laughter, rolling around in the dirt and grass. He laughed so hard he started coughing and wheezing. Hana idly thought of the poison type Pokémon line.
“Sorry you had to find out this way,” she said.
Gasping for breath, Kageyama looked back up at her. “Do me a favor,” he said between breaths. “Don’t talk about this to anyone at school.”
Hana thought about the Kageyama she thought he was before, and the Kageyama lying on the ground in front of her now, covered in dirt and bruises but still smiling up at his friend. They seemed like two different people. It must take a lot out of him to pretend like he’s not the type of guy to brawl his friends in the wilderness for the sheer pleasure of it.
“I won’t,” she assured him. “But I do think this makes you a lot more interesting than you act at school.”
“Exactly!” Suzuki nudged Kageyama on the ground. “You act so boring around most people when you’re not!”
“Thanks, Kawamura,” Kageyama said, sitting up. He looked back at Suzuki. “I’m starving, though.”
“Yeah, let’s get that soba,” Suzuki grinned. “Nice meeting you, Kawamura!”
“See you at school, Kageyama!” Hana shouted after them, and he waved back.
She picked leaves out of her hair, and walked around the ruined clearing, marveling at the damage psychic powers could do, before continuing on her walk.
It turned out Ritsu Kageyama was not exactly what everyone made him out to be. He probably wouldn’t be the perfect hardworking husband every mother wanted their girls to end up marrying. He was much more interesting than that, and it was a bit scary to think that a kid from her school could throw people around with psychic powers, but Hana actually hoped she might talk with him more.
But that wasn’t what made her lose interest in trying to woo him.
No, it was the realization that, with the way he looked at Suzuki, Kageyama was probably gay anyway.