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There were three things known about Golden Ratio, the god that descended to earth to save it from humankind.
The first was that he could not lie. There were times when lying would have been advantageous to his cause; too many times that his lies would have saved a human’s dignity or pride, but he could not. It was innate, something he could not control nor change. It was natural to him which irked him at times, but he had no choice but to oblige.
The second was that he could kill by touch. It was not in the same way that humans killed each other through their touch, rather in a way that was more dangerous. A simple touch on the tip of his fingers would slowly drain a human, animal, or plant of its life, whether he willed or not. Touch him for a significant amount of time, and he would empty the being of its soul, leaving the carcass that it once resided in. That was why Golden Ratio was avoidant, always choosing to live in a space far from anyone and anything.
It terrified him to no end once he first learned of it. The very first thing that his feet landed on was grass, grass that turned into ash the moment he touched them. The second was a flower given to him as a gift. It had wilted in his delicate hand instantly, the flower losing its life in less than a second. He could not think of what his curse does to a human being, and he was not willing to seek an answer for it.
And the third one was that
“My god, are you home?” There was light knocking on the door to the god’s home.
The voice was familiar, perhaps a little bit too familiar for his liking. Golden Ratio stepped closer to the door, opening it and making sure that there would be enough space between him and his frequent visitor.
“You are!” The man’s smile was wide, a beam of sunlight on the otherwise gloomy day outdoors.
“What is it that you seek?” Golden Ratio asked as he stepped further into his home, making sure that there was enough distance between the two of them.
“Companionship.” The man closed the door behind him, letting himself into the humble abode even without its owner’s explicit consent.
“Are your crafts not enough companionship?” Golden Ratio raised a brow as he took a seat back on his stool in front of the canvas that stood on an easel. There was a half-done painting on the canvas, one that was crafted by the very man that stood in his home.
The man shook his head no. “They do not speak to me unlike you, my god.”
“Flattery will get you nowhere,” Golden Ratio responded as he continued his work before he got interrupted.
The man stood beside him, making sure that there was a small, but careful, distance between them. “That is marvelous.”
“I would hope so,” Golden Ratio muttered, his left hand moving with ease and precision to paint the perfect scenery. “So what was it that you truly sought here?”
Normally, Golden Ratio would not even open his door to strangers for fear that they would perish because of him. He did not feel the warmest feelings towards human beings, but it was not to the point where he would just willingly kill them for no reason.
But the third thing that was very well known about Golden Ratio was that he was extremely fond of the man whose alchemy was not quite the same as his: Electrolysis.
Electrolysis had spent many days and nights in the god’s presence with companionship as his consistent reason for visit. Golden Ratio did not fully understand the man’s intentions, but he welcomed the warm company that the man offered. Golden Ratio knew that they were not friends, but they were not enemies either. They were in some sort of taboo position that he wished they were not in, but they were, and who was he to question the will of fate?
Electrolysis found his usual spot by the windowsill. The faint sunlight that the clouds had not covered yet trickled into the room through the window where Electrolysis sat. Golden Ratio knew that Electrolysis loved the subtle warmth despite what he would say so otherwise during their trips outdoors.
And so they were in their usual rhythm. Or they would be if Electrolysis was not so quiet and awkwardly shuffling in his seat every so often.
“Just tell,” Golden Ratio spoke, not needing to look behind him to know that the man was on his guard.
“I…” Electrolysis started, “I am human too. I realized.”
“What a shock,” Golden Ratio responded nonchalantly.
“It’s not like that.” Electrolysis shook his head.
Golden Ratio did not like the energy that Electrolysis was emitting. It was not a bad one, rather, one that seemed off, one that was completely unlike the man.
Golden Ratio set his brush down carefully before turning around to face the man on his window sill. “Is something the matter?”
“Yes,” Electrolysis admitted, “There is. And it involved the two of us.”
Golden Ratio raised a brow at Electrolysis who could barely meet his eyes. “Do tell.”
“I am human, and… and I-, although, am no longer a complete human, still hold the heart of one and feel like one,” Electrolysis started, “The week prior, I realized that I hold you not just in the regard of a colleague nor a god. I wish not to speak lightly of this, but… I feel as if I… yearn… for you.”
Golden Ratio paused. What was it like to yearn for someone? He did not hold the same feelings as that of a human, but he was not void of it. However, he still did not understand.
Electrolysis finally looked at him again, brown meeting his blue ones that looked like the sky on the best of days. Electrolysis looked upset, completely unlike his usual self.
“So what does this mean, pray tell?” Golden Ratio could not help but be curious.
Electrolysis sighed, the electric blue that matched Golden Ratio’s eyes sparked once, catching the god’s attention. He stood from his favorite spot, walking slowly to the god standing a little bit too close to him. “It means I desire you in ways more than the companionship that you know of. It… It means I wish to spend my mortal days with you. I desire to hold you in my arms, my god. I desire your sight, your words, your being. I-I desire you carnally, I desire you in my mind, in my spirit, and in my heart. I desire you.”
Electrolysis stepped forward and Golden Ratio stood to walk backwards, maintaining some distance between them that Electrolysis was closing in. Golden Ratio worried for the man and for his sentiments. He understood what Electrolysis meant, but he was unsure if he was even capable of feeling even the smallest amount of emotion that the man had for him.
“D-Don’t step closer.” Golden Ratio was pressed against the wall of his own home and Electrolysis did as he wished.
Electrolysis stood in front of him, the gap between them wide enough for comfort, but Golden Ratio knew he wanted more and he was terrified.
“I’m going to hurt you,” Golden Ratio whispered, “You cannot touch me. I’m going to hurt you.”
“The feelings I have for you already pain me, my god,” Electrolysis spoke in a low voice, his eyes oozing with desperation. “I… I understand what will happen if we touch, I know it all. I don’t know if I have much time left on this earth, but I’d rather spend it getting the pleasure of just knowing what you feel like. I would like to touch you. Your hand, your cheek, even just the tip of your finger would suffice. Just please do not let this mortal live out the rest of his life not knowing you.”
Golden Ratio looked away, afraid that whatever was stirring up in his heaving chest was going to betray his godhood. He was going to hurt Electrolysis and could not bear himself to do that. He would not be the reason for the man’s demise. He had promised.
“Do you not want to be with me?” Electrolysis continued, frowning, “Are you not interested in what touch feels like?”
“I…”
Whatever he wanted did not matter. If he did what his inquisitive side told him, he knew that he would hurt the ones he truly cared about. And a life of not knowing the touch of the man in front of him was better than living a long immortal life of silence without him.
“I wish to…”
Why could he not say it? ‘I do not wish for your touch’ was one simple sentence that his mouth could not utter, his tongue betraying him by not forming the words he wished to speak.
“Say it.” Electrolysis was still there despite his internal turmoil, standing and waiting. “Tell me that you do not wish to be with me.”
“Electrolysis…” Golden Ratio trailed off. “I do not wish for your companionship anymore.” Why were his words stuck in his mind?
Electrolysis dropped to his knees, choking on a sob. “Say the words so I would not hang on to what my heart is screaming. I only need you to say it and I will obey what you wish.”
Golden Ratio stared at him wide eyed. “I wish for…”
Electrolysis looked up at him, eyes holding an emotion that he did not usually have.
“I do not know what I truly wish for in this life,” Golden Ratio spoke carefully as if examining his own words. “H-however, I… I do not wish to see you go.”
Electrolysis stared, listening and absorbing the god’s words.
“I…” What was he supposed to say? Golden Ratio clutched his chest. “I wish you would stay with me. I am afraid. I’m afraid that I’ll hurt you or…”
“Please do not think of that.” Electrolysis assured him., “You could never hurt me.”
“Electrolysis. Listen. I am not human. I am a hurtful and vengeful god, but I-.” Their eyes met again and Golden Ratio realized why the other humans assumed that he was fond of Electrolysis. He had learned the feeling attached to the word, a word that he once thought he would never get to feel. “I yearn for your company too.”
Golden Ratio bit his lip before continuing. “Once. I… I wish to touch you too. Once.”
Electrolysis still stared, shocked, as Golden Ratio dropped to the floor, meeting at his height. His right hand trembled as he raised it to meet Electrolysis' left cheek. He was warm. Electrolysis was as warm as the sunlight that he showered in on the way there. He was soft. Not as soft as the bed that he lay on at night, but he was a firm kind of soft that Golden Ratio had never touched before.
Golden Ratio observed Electrolysis’ face from his eyes, the bridge of his nose, to his slightly agape lips. Golden Ratio, despite not truly being human, was still curious. He had observed how humans do whenever the two were out and about in society, and perhaps he wished to do some things that he had seen them do.
Maybe this was the perfect time to do so.
Golden Ratio slowly closed the gap between their lips, his eyes closing in the process. The pair didn’t move, just stayed put while the fire in their chests fluttered and ran their systems hot. It was barely ten seconds when Golden Ratio pulled away, both his lips and hand now a careful distance from the human.
His lips touching Electrolysis’ gave a foreign taste. Electrolysis’ lips were oddly warm too. They were softer than his cheeks were, and they fit perfectly with Golden Ratio’s. It was a strange feeling, but Golden Ratio couldn’t help but worry that the warmth inside him was him pulling the life out of Electrolysis, but it lingered and was getting stronger by the minute.
“Once,” he repeated, “We shall not repeat it. We shall… hold onto the feeling.”
Electrolysis finally showed a sign of life, gulping. He could not nod, however, afraid that the imprint of Golden Ratio’s lips would be removed from his lips if he moved his head even by just a little bit.
Golden Ratio stood, leaving the shocked man still on his floor. He continued with his painting, trying to hide his face from the man. He bit down on his lip lightly, feeling as if Electrolysis’ lips were still pressed onto his.
He did not fully understand the feeling, but he guessed that this was the yearning that he had read in countless books. He did not know if this would lead to the two of them being better in the longer run, or if it was going to be his downfall.
What he did understand, however, was that Electrolysis’ desires were not completely unfounded.