Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Before Jimin learned about the word soulmate and it’s meaning, he knew what the term love meant. That it is derived of many things but also can be something indescribable, but predominantly it is a sentiment (an expression); a feeling. Love is what he feels towards his mother, father, and his best friend Yoongi.

Jimin and Yoongi were always with each other almost everyday. They went to school together, they stayed over at each others houses, and they even would get into trouble together. They experienced many things throughout their childhood together. Jimin loved being with his best friend, and slowly somewhere along the way his feelings for Yoongi began to change.

It comes as no surprise to Jimin when he sees his red string, and the person it’s connected to. In the back of his mind he always knew who it was going to be, who he hoped it would be, and how unsettling it would be if it was him.

The societal norms regarding soulmates continually change. In today’s society many prefer to have a choice; to be with their soulmate or to love whomever they desire, as not everyone is destined to meet their soulmate or even able to live their life with their soulmate.

Therefore, only if you want to see the string to your soulmate it would be revealed, but if you choose not to then it won’t be shown, even if your soulmate can see there’s to you.

For that reason Jimin decides not to reveal who his soulmate is to his best friend. He is not ready to confess that his red string leads up to him, Min Yoongi. Whenever the topic of discussion about soulmates was brought up Yoongi always said he didn't care for soulmates, that if he liked someone he like them, it didn't matter if he saw a string or not. Unaware if Yoongi has known who his soulmate is or not, or if he cares to see it or not. Because only he can see his string to his soulmate, and he hasn’t said anything about it. So Jimin makes the choice to stay silent, to wait and not tell him. Secretly hoping Yoongi would be the one to bring it up first.

As they both are preparing to head off to college, Jimin wonders if living together as roommates might open Yoongi up to feeling the same way he does and see him as his soulmate. Even as he doubts the possibility of Yoongi ever liking him as more than a friend, he still can’t help but hold a small fragment of hope that maybe they can be more than just friends.

〜

College has brought Jimin many new experiences and challenges.

During Freshman orientation he had befriended Taehyung, and they have been good friends ever since. Sadly things with Yoongi didn’t change much. They were still just best friends; nothing more, nothing less. Yoongi would go on dates and see other people. Every now and then he would have people over, and some who would stay the night.

After a few run-ins with the guys who would come out of Yoongi’s room in the morning, Jimin would leave the apartment extra early those mornings to avoid any awkward situations. Meeting Taehyung at the local coffee shop for their regular Sunday morning coffee get-together. Those mornings were never easy for Jimin. He struggled with hiding his feelings from Yoongi. He did not want to show how affected he was seeing Yoongi being with other guys. He tried not be be greedy, wanting more than friendship from Yoongi.

Gratefully he had Taehyung to vent to. Someone who would listen to him, give him advice, and encouragement. Although Taehyung didn't like seeing him hurt, he would do his best to give him support. He had even once suggested why doesn't he date other people. Jimin had never really thought about doing that. With uncertainly he gave it chance, to put himself out there and go on a date. After a few dates, he realized he couldn't do it. He tried to picture himself being with another, but he knew wouldn't be able to commit. Especially not when Yoongi already had his heart. He always had that gleam of hope, of being with Yoongi. And nothing had diminished the flame he held for Yoongi. Until he was struck with a reality he never expected. Faced with a new obstacle that ceased his shred of hope.

〜

Jimin realized after a week of being sick and his symptoms not going away, he may have more than a common infection.

The next day he is fidgeting in his seat in the waiting area of the hospital. Nervously biting his lower lip, Jimin wonders if this is what it feels like, knowing your soulmate has cut their link to you. He has heard of the stories before. Of people who were still yearning for their soulmate can get severely sick, when their fated person sever their tie to them. The saddest of tragedies were the ones who loved so strongly the antidote couldn't cure them. Left to handle the pain so severe, and losing the battle to live without their soulmate.

Before his mind can churn with any more negative thoughts, he hears his name being called out.

〜

Jimin is sitting in the chair back here again, in this place that has become all too familiar to him these past few months. The doctor enters the office with his new results in hand. From the look on his face Jimin already knows that it’s not going to be good.

The doctor places his file on top of the desk and takes his seat. “Jimin how have you been?”

It’s the same question he always asks him first.

“I’ve been okay.” It’s the same response Jimin always answers back.

“Tell me how I am really doing Doctor Kim.”

The doctor opens his file and reads the contents of the report briefly before he looks back up at Jimin and speaks, “I am sorry to say this, but the cancer is spreading more rapidly than we had previously estimated. If it keeps moving at this rate, I am sad to say there isn’t much else we can do that we haven’t already tried. As you know the form of cancer you have is quite rare and although there are new findings in the research done, there just isn’t enough to try other methods of treating you.”

“How long….how much longer do you think I have?” Jimin voices abruptly.

Doctor Kim scans over his chart again, eyebrows furrowing. “A year at best. I advise you to notify your loved ones and to prepare them, as well as yourself, as the coming months will take a great toll on you. If at any time it becomes too severe, or if you develop any new symptoms, please notify me. I have written you a prescription for some medication that can help you with the increase in pain.”
Jimin leans over to get the paper as he stops from nodding over his prognosis.
“Thank you doctor for all of your help, I really appreciate everything you’ve done for me. I can see myself out.” Jimin stands and solemnly moves to head out the door.

Once Jimin makes it outside he takes a deep breath and exhales as the spring air fills his lungs. He knows the inevitable outcome is getting closer to him. He has felt his body getting weaker and he’s been getting headaches more frequently lately. Today’s visit with the doctor confirmed that he doesn't have much time left. He has come to terms with the fact that he’s dying. Spending countless nights with thoughts over his options and knows what he has finally decided to do.

This will be the second secret he’ll keep from Yoongi.

〜

Later that evening, with a settling heart Jimin gives Taehyung a call.

“Hey Tae what are you doing?” He asks somberly.

“Nothing much, just got out the shower,” Taehyung says in muffled parts as the sounds of him ruffling his hair with the towel can be heard over the phone.

“Do you think you can come out and meet me for coffee, I have something to tell you,” Jimin asks.

Taehyung stops fumbling with the towel in hand, noticing the tone in Jimin’s voice as he responds, “Yeah of course.”

“See you at the usual coffee shop in 15 minutes.”

“Okay see you there.”

Jimin sits nervously at the table waiting for Taehyung. Even though he hasn’t gotten the courage to tell Yoogi about his condition, he’s thankful he has Taehyung to talk about it with, although it doesn’t make speaking about the matter any easier.

Taehyung enters the cafe and notices Jimin seated at a table. Just seeing Jimin’s devoid expression, looking lost in a haze, he knows something serious has happened. Taehyung braces himself as he joins Jimin at the table.

Jimin informs Taehyung all about his recent visit to his doctor. As the last bit of words leave his mouth he takes in a breath, lifting his eyes back up to Taehyung.

Many thoughts fill Taehyung’s mind. He feels so helpless. He doesn’t know what to say. He’s trying desperately not to start crying in a public place and garner attention. Blinking the tears back into his eyes; wishing he could rid all of the bad things plaguing Jimin. If anyone deserves happiness in life, it’s Jimin. And Knowing the one thing or rather person who could give him that happiness even though it may brief. Taehyung musters up his words and spills out, “Jimin why don’t you tell Yoongi?”

Jimin eyes widen, surprised that Taehyung would mention to him to do the one thing he knows he never had the courage to do. “Tae how do you think I could tell Yoongi, especially now? You want me to face him and say "Guess what Yoongi, I’m dying of cancer with not much time let to live, and oh in case you didn’t realize it, you’re my soulmate.’” Jimin says sarcastically.

Taehyung slumps back against his seat, peering down at his legs. He responds with a wavering voice, “Jimin you know that’s not what I meant. I-I just want, you know with your time left you can be with him. Isn't that what you always dreamed of, being with him your soulmate. If you told him you could possibly attain such happiness before you go. ”

Jimin looks down at his hands a somber laugh escapes him, “My dream...how imaginary and foolish it was. In a world where I thought I could live and spend my life beside my soulmate. Do all the things I hoped to do...the many things I had wanted to experience with him.”

Jimin’s voice weakens, “But I know I can’t and it’s so hard Tae...You have no idea how hard it is for me. To not want to end the call because I still want to hear his voice, to not want to let go when we break apart from a hug, to not…” Jimin voice breaks and he stops to inhale a breath. “I don’t have the the time. I don’t have the luxury to live in such a dream anymore. All it ever was,is a imagination of a future I could never have. I don’t dream anymore Tae, I live in my reality.”

“With what time I do have I don’t want to see him sad, or put him in a position of feeling pressured, or worse pity me,” Jimin states, regaining strength in his voice. I could never bring myself to tell and especially not now, what would be the use. I just want him to meet someone who can be by him, someone who makes him happy, someone who can spend their life loving him. ”

Taehyung wipes the tears that have trickled down his face, unable to stop sniffling as he speaks. “I’m sorry Jimin, I didn’t mean...I just wish there was a cure for your cancer.” I dislike seeing you always hurting, even when you smile trying not to show it. I can see, you can't hide it from it from me. And now more than anything I just wish for you to genuinely smile, and laugh, and be happy."

Jimin hovers over gently rubbing Taehyung's back to get to stop crying. “It’s okay Tae, I had wished for that too...but there isn’t a cure. And I am happy. Really. I'm blessed to live the life that I have. My family and my friends, you and yoongi, everyone has given me a life worth of happiness. I'm not mad and I shouldn't be mad to not get what I had wanted..life doesn't work like that. You don't always get to have what you want. I refused to feel sorry for myself and not blame anyone for my condition. If anything I'm the one that's sorry to miss out on being apart of everyone’s lives. I'm sorry that I will be the one to leave everyone first.

Taehyung falls into Jimin arms, clinging onto his shirt, crying into his shoulder. Jimin holds him in his grasp, running his hand up and down Taehyung back, assuring him, “Everything is going to be alright.” Taehyuung thinks this affirmation is more for him than for Jimin. Taehyung begins to quiets down in his embrace, still enclosing his arms firmer around Jimin. He sulks to himself that he was supposed to comfort Jimin, but he ends up being the one needing to be comforted.

〜

Hearing a loud commotion outside his apartment, Jimin is woken up from his sleep. Adjusting his vision in the pitch dark room takes him a few seconds, and he checks the clock on the nightstand to see what time it is, reading red numbers that flicker 3:17 A.M. He turns back over to his other side to fall back asleep, when he faintly hears someone say Yoongi’s name.

Kicking the blankets off of him, Jimin grumbles while he gets out of bed to go to the front door. The voices become more apparent the closer he gets. With words slurring and keys rattling, it doesn’t take a genius to guess the situation. Opening the door, he is met with a very drunk Yoongi leaning against another man, who instantly stops fumbling with the keys in his hands.
The guy motions to explain, “Sorry to wake you, I-uh was trying to help Yoongi get inside and he couldn’t uhh-”

Jimin interrupts him, sensing the awkwardness. “It’s okay, thank you for getting him back safely.”

The guy shifts to hand off Yoongi, who seems unaware of Jimin’s presence. Jimin goes to hold him up from his side, placing an arm over his shoulders. “I’ll be going, uh- goodnight,” the guy says, leaving quickly before Jimin could even respond back.

Yoongi abruptly yells, “Jiminie” loudly next to his ear as he locks the door. Yoongi mumbling nonsense. Together, they stumble their way to Yoongi’s room. He wonders what caused Yoongi to drink so much, questioning the thought since he hardly ever allows himself to get this wasted.

Setting Yoongi down on his bed, Jimin lifts his feet up to take his shoes off. Yoongi smiles down at Jimin, telling him, “You’re my best friend, I don’t know what I’d do without you.” Jimin briefly stills at his words, before returning to take his last shoe off.

“Jimin,” Yoongi says tone altering, noting the slurring alleviating his voice. “You don’t know how much I love you.”

Assuming Yoongi’s words are influenced by his current state, Jimin pays him no mind and brushes it off, until he feels a hand cradling his face. Catching his breath, Jimin darts his gaze to Yoongi. The feeling of Yoongi’s thumb motioning over his cheek as his focus is piercing solely on him making him quiver.

Jimin utters, “Yoongi...what are you doing?”

As Yoongi inches forward, the space between them lessening. Jimin gulps numb in his position, unable to process what is happening. Yoongi's other hand reaches to caress the other side of Jimin. Locking him in his hold. Moving closer Yoongi mutters, "Your so beautiful." Eyes trailing down to Jimin's lips. The sudden nervousness of Yoongi hovering over him, head tilted back, feeling a forceful pressure on his lips.

His eyes widening at the realization. Yoongi is kissing him.

Chapter Text

Jimin is lost in his thoughts, mind reeling of what he should do. Countless times he has imagined this -- the impact of Yoongi’s lips moving against his stilled ones -- and how it would feel to experience being kissed by Yoongi. But not now, not anymore, and definitely not like this.
Clenching the end of his shirt, Jimin balls the fabric in his hands into fists, and struggles to think clearly. His brain is telling him he should stop Yoongi. Push him away. This isn’t right. Yoongi is not in a right state of mind, unaware of his actions as he’s under the influence. He knows if Yoongi was sober he wouldn't even attempt to kiss him or let alone initiate it. This is wrong and he shouldn't take advantage of Yoongi this way. But his heart, his palpitating heart, is reacting to the kiss. Craving for the contact. He can’t help but mull over whether or not to follow his head or his heart.

Jimin is contemplating. Trying to reason with himself, this is possibly his only chance, the closest he could ever dare to be with Yoongi. Just this once, only this time will he allow himself to falter and cave in. To cherish the feeling, the moment of kissing the boy he’s only ever loved, his soulmate. Unwinding his hands, Jimin clasps his eyes closed, ready to respond to the kiss.

Yoongi pulls away from him abruptly, whispering beside Jimin’s ear, “I’m sorry” whilst falling onto his shoulder, where he rests his forehead.

Registering that Yoongi is not kissing him anymore and is now leaning against his shoulder, Jimin staggers by the quick change of events. Unsure, he calls out to Yoongi, but he doesn’t receive a response back. He tries calling his name a few more times until he can faintly hear snoring. Yoongi has fallen asleep on him.

Jimin lays Yoongi back down into the bed, pulling the covers over him and tucking him in. Softly saying good night and turning the light off, he exits the room and returns to his own.

The second Jimin enters his bedroom, he is engulfed by his blanket, twisting his head into his pillow. He tries to collect himself, but is unable to stop thinking about what just occurred. Even though Yoongi was drunk, why did he have to say those things to him? It’s unfathomable; just when he decided not to be with Yoongi, and made the decision to finally let go of his dreams and aspirations, Yoongi had to go and do this to him.

Tears begin to run down Jimin’s cheeks and soak into his pillow. He’s accepted and understands why he can never be with Yoongi romantically. All this time, he has spent waiting for Yoongi to see his string on his own, only if he truly wanted to. And what happened tonight wasn’t because Yoongi saw him as his soulmate; Jimin isn’t sure what Yoongi was thinking, but he knows it’s not his wish coming true. He has made his choice, and from now on he has to stick to it.

Assuring himself that this will be the last time he cries himself to sleep. He cries to rid his mind of everything, all the reasons his life is spiraling out of control: because he’s dying, because he can never be with his soulmate, because he’s keeping secrets and lying to Yoongi.

Tomorrow he will act as if nothing has happened, as he believes things should stay as they are, as they should, as he and Yoongi are, after all, just best friends.

~

The following morning Jimin wakes with a new mindset. He exhales heavily, telling himself he can do this. He’s masked his feelings for so long already, surely he can keep them hidden till the end. Gripping the handle of his door knob, he readies himself. Once he steps out this door, there is no more breaking down, no more getting carried away, no more dreaming. He forces himself to emerge from his dreams and wills his emotions into numbness, to the point where he doesn’t feel anything. He’s letting everything go from here on out. Walking out his door with a determined standpoint, Jimin decides this is what he wants.

Turning the burner off on the the stove, Jimin dips the ladle into the pot to pour the soup in a bowl. He calls for Yoongi as he places the bowl down on the counter top. Jimin knocks against Yoongi’s door yelling, “Yoongi are you up? I made breakfast.”

He doesn’t let up on his attempts to wake Yoongi until he hoarsely heard him grumbling. That’s the commonly expected sign of Yoongi stirring awake. A small smile graces Jimin’s lips as he heads back to the kitchen.

Yoongi ruggedly falls into the chair, where Jimin had set the breakfast down. He rests his elbows on the counter with his head pressing against his left hand.

“My head is killing me,” Yoongi whimpers.
Jimin takes pity on him, knowing the miserable feeling of the day after drinking.

“I bet, it’s been awhile since I’ve seen you get that drunk. Here, take these.” Jimin says, while handing Yoongi some aspirins and a cup of water.

“Because I’m your best friend and care about your well-being, I made you hangover soup.” Jimin caringly nudges the bowl closer to Yoongi.

“Thanks.” Yoongi rasps.

Jimin needs to know if Yoongi remembers anything. He needs to get the question out and ask him so he can move past it.

“Do you...umm do you remember what you did last night.” Jimin nervously asks, biting down on his bottom lip.

Yoongi ruffles the back of his head, groaning as his face contorts from trying to think. “I’m not sure my memory is all a bit fuzzy right now. Why, did I do something?”

Jimin’s words rush out his mouth, “No-No, I was just asking to see how drunk you really were.”

Yoongi nods his head, although he notices Jimin seems to be a bit apprehensive. “You sure I didn't do anything? Nothing embarrassing I should know about? You would tell me if I did.”

Not wanting Yoongi to remember, Jimin avoids making eye contact with him, flatly saying, “Yeah of course I would if you did. But nope you didn’t, you just came back being loud. I couldn’t understand anything you were saying. I just helped you to bed and that was it.” He busies himself by placing the used dishes in the sink, hoping Yoongi wouldn’t doubt what he’s saying.

“Jimin....”

Jimin looks back at Yoongi once he finished tidying up the area. Avoiding Yoongi’s gaze, Jimin hurriedly stammers, “I have to go-go meet up with Tae. Yeah umm..make sure you finish the soup and go back to sleep you’ll feel about after getting some rest.”

“Jimin…”

“I-I’ll see you later, I’ll text you to see how you're doing okay.” He scurries to unlock the front door, not daring to glance back at Yoongi, urged by the feeling of quickly wanting to leave. “Bye, I hope you’ll feel better,” Jimin chirps rapidly, closing the door as the words leave his mouth. Once outside, he inhales sharply.

Using his hand to hit himself on top of his head, he bites the inside of his cheek, getting after himself. He needs to do better, even though lying to Yoongi makes his stomach queasy. He tries to convince himself for his sake and Yoongi’s that he needs to be more adamant for the both of them.

~

Jimin wouldn’t necessarily say he’s been avoiding Yoongi. This week he’s been really preoccupied with school, and assignments, and studying for his tests. He can’t help but spend short spans of time when Yoongi is in his vicinity. What can he say, after he basically ran away from last week’s conversation. Suppressing his emotions was easier said than done. But since then he feels more confident in his ability to not panic and be flustered, now that he’s had some time to completely get over the kiss incident. Which is why tonight he is going to spend the evening watching a movie with Yoongi.

Entering the apartment with the movies in hand, Jimin hollers, “Yoongi I’m back! I got the movies. Is the pop-.” His words trail off once he hears someone else’s voice in the room. He stops short when he sees Yoongi with another guy next to him, who kinda looks familiar, sitting on the couch, their laughter coming to a stop when they notice Jimin’s presence.

Yoongi greets him casually. “Hey Jimin this is my friend Hoseok. I told him about the movie we had planned to watch. And he had been meaning to see it too. I hope you don’t mind me inviting him.”

A little taken back because it was supposed to be Yoongi and him having quality time and catching up with each other, Jimin tries to hide his slight disappointment. “Yeah it’s cool...You're the guy who brought Yoongi home that night, right?”

Hoseok lightly smiles, “Yeah that was me, sorry I left in kind of a rush. I couldn’t find a parking spot so I left my car in the fire zone and didn’t want it to get towed.”

“Oh no it's alright, and nice to formally meet you,” Jimin gestures airily, smiling back. He directs his attention back to Yoongi, “Is everything all set up?”

At that moment, the ding from the microwave goes off. “Yeah I was just waiting for the popcorn to be done, and all the other snacks are on the table,” Yoongi languidly answers.

Jimin places the DVDs beside the TV, muttering, “I’ll get the popcorn while you can start the movie.”

He goes into the kitchen huffing and mumbling under his breath. Taking a bowl out of the cabinet and gripping harder than necessary, he can’t help but heave an annoyed sigh. Yoongi bringing a friend over that’s fine, he’s cool with that. Their extended group of friends even have their own designated spots of choice, whenever they come over. But when said new friend is sitting in his spot, and taking his place next to Yoongi. He is slightly agitated. With the way he’s been brushing Yoongi off, he was hoping tonight would help him make amends and put things back to normal. Finally feeling at ease with himself, he wanted to lay next to Yoongi, and maybe even have him stroke his hair. It was something they would often do, and Yoongi understood that it was Jimin’s way to apologize whenever he felt guilty for doing something without having to use words. Pouring the popcorn into the bowl, he releases a final grunt.

Nonetheless, Yoongi hasn’t mention anything about that night, so all is well as good as forgotten, so he should be happy about that at least. Jimin attempts to clear the rest of his thoughts out his mind as he goes to bring the popcorn over.

Needless to say he doesn’t pay attention to the movie much. He sits alone in the recliner, while the other two share the love seat. He knows he’s acting petty, because it's not like Hoseok knew he ruined his plans. He just wanted to make up for his behavior towards his best friend. Understanding that there’s nothing he can do about the evening’s outcome, Jimin attempts to enjoy the remainder of the movie.

~

The next time Jimin meets Hoseok is when Yoongi calls him to join them for dinner. Jimin is admittedly reluctant to see Hoseok again, whom Yoongi has been spending much of his time with lately.

A couple weeks back Jimin had tried to set up another movie night with Yoongi. But apparently he had already made plans to attend an underground rap show with Hoseok, leaving Jimin sympathetically saying they could watch a movie another day.

And during week, the few times Jimin would catch Yoongi in their apartment, he noticed Yoongi was working on a composition. Jimin had offered to listen to the new track he was creating. But again Yoongi told him that it was okay, he didn’t need to. He was gonna go to Hoseok’s later and have his input about it.

Therefore, Jimin agrees to meet them for dinner because they haven’t been in each other's company as much recently. And besides, he misses his friend. So to the restaurant he goes.

When Jimin arrives, Yoongi and Hoseok are caught up in a conversation. He hesitantly takes a seat at the empty spot at the round table. After exchanging a quick greeting, light banter ensues. Hoseok recounts many funny stories, speaking animatedly. Jimin actually finds himself laughing too. He surprises himself by not being as stoic he perceived he would be, but more so relaxing around the other. Much to his dismay, his previous judgement about Hoseok has changed.

Being honest with himself, he didn’t really have a problem with him. Now after becoming more acquainted, Hoseok seems like a really nice and funny guy. And a few bottles later of soju, Jimin doesn’t know if it’s the liquor or maybe he’s being unusually perceptive, but his eyes track Hoseok’s very friendly demeanor towards Yoongi; the frequent amount of skinship Hoseok initiates that Yoongi doesn’t seem to mind. Tilting his head to the side quizzically, Jimin states, “Yoongi you never told me how you two befriend each other.”

“Oh erm...we met during a project. In my music production class we had to collaborate in making a composition for Hoseok’s performing arts class,” Yoongi explains.

“When our two classes met to partner up, I noticed Yoongi hiding in the back. I went over to him and asked what music he likes. Turns out we have similar interests in rap music, so we agreed to work on it together,” Hoseok relays.

Jimin nods, interpreting the information, thinking back to the instance when Yoongi was having Hoseok help him on the assignment. Now it’s making sense in his head.

“Who would've thought I luck out choosing a musical genius,” Hoseok jokes.

A subtle smile forms on Yoongi lips. “Ya! You're finally admitting that I’m a genius.”

“Okay...okay fine, I admit it. You know you’re a great composer, you don’t need my affirmation. Besides there’s no need for me to boost your ego any more than it already is,” Hoseok amusedly retorts.

Yoongi scowls in mock offense at Hoseok’s statement. Expressing his displeasure, Yoongi quarrels back, “My ego is on par to my composing abilities so...”

Declaring his remark triumphantly, he smugly shrugs.

Jimin is thrown into a fit of laughter by these two. Watching the two of them continue to go back and forth on a variety of topics makes the rest of the dinner pass by pleasantly.

~

Later, Jimin phones Taehyung to inform him on how the night went. Taehyung knows about his previous encounter with Hoseok. He teases Jimin about it, insistently saying he was acting jealous. Which he was not, Jimin argues back, he was sulking as a matter fact. As the sound of the dial tone rings in his ear, momentarily debating to disconnect the call. Slightly not wanting to own up to regretting how he perceived Hoseok. Knowing Taehyung will surely not let this information go and tease him about it. Most likely adding an I told you so in his reprimanding. Relieving a sigh because eventually he would tell Taehyung, whom has been the only person he confides in. Acknowledging that reason, he might as well get it over with, along with admitting his faults in being wrong about Hoseok. Jimin waits on the line for Taehyung to pick up.

“Jiminie!,” Taehyung excitedly answers.

“Hey Tae,” Jimin rasp lowly chuckling at Taehyung’s fervent liveliness.

“I can tell from your voice you been drinking.”

“I only say two words, how can you possibly tell.”

“Because I know you thats how, and also by how late it is. The only reason why you call me at this time is either; you are up drinking or something has happened. So it’s one or the other.” Taehyung words go quiet as his tone switches to more concerned, “Or both. Did something happen Jiminie?”

“Yes and no, nothing bad happened if that's what you're inferring. Stop worrying everything is okay. I had went out to eat with Yoongi….and Hoseok.” Jimin lingers to mention the other name of whose company he was in.

Taehyung is a bit surprised hearing who Jimin was with. Quizzically asking “Oh really...how did that go?.”

Jimin concedes to the question, “It actually went well, I admit I was wrong about Hoseok. He is a nice and funny guy. He kind of reminds me of you, his personality is very outgoing and friendly.”

“Wow!” Jimin rolls his eyes at Taehyung’s exaggerated response stretching the word out, Why wow...huh.” Jimin exasperates.

“Oh..nothing just surprised is all, you were able to tame your jealousy. And admit that the Hoseok guy isn’t as bad as you thought him to be.” Taehyung heckles.

Jimin scuffs, “Okay, Tae I get it. I know I misjudged him. And I am not jealous.”

“Sure you’re not...whatever you say,” Taehyung unrelenting taunts.

Jimin sighs on his end of the phone. Taehyung doesn’t give him a break about being jealous. Guessing just because he denies it out loud doesn’t make it true. Knowing Taehyung for these past few years, it’s crazy weird how he can read him so easily. Even though the way he had acted didn’t help in hiding his feelings. But this time it’s different. He’s not jealous in the sense of wanting to be with Yoongi in that way, because he doesn't think like that anymore. It’s more in a best friend way. Yoongi has other friends and Jimin doesn’t mind it really. But other than music, Yoongi never spent so much time with something or someone else besides him. That’s what caused him to feel down and defensive. To see someone else taking up so much of Yoongi’s time and leaving him out.

Agitated by Taehyung’s persistence. Jimin’s lips protrude sullenly. He scowls to Taehyung, “Fine Tae think what you want, but I’m not jealous. Things are different now. I’m dealing with the change. Yoongi and I haven’t been hanging out lately which is unusual. He’s been
meeting up with Hoseok frequently and I hardly see him and sometimes not at all. It’s just hitting me, seeing him without me and I don’t know what I’m feeling anymore.” Jimin catches his breathe and continues to blurt out, “This evening seeing them together and how close they have gotten so quickly. I just feel weird seeing how much they have in common, and getting along so well. I’ve never seen this side of Yoongi, the way he is around Hoseok. To be honest I don’t know what I feel. All I know is soon I won’t be here anymore. And i’m glad he has other people who will be around him. Maybe I am jealous. I don’t know...You happy now. Is this what you been wanting me to admit to.”

Jimin’s soft panting mix in with the silence from his sudden confession.

Taehyung cuts through his stillness, (the seriousness of the conversation is douse within his stern voice). “I want you to stop lying to yourself about how you feel. You can always be truthful to me, you know that. I don’t want you to keep everything bottled up anymore. At least let it all out to me. I’ll be here to listen to you..always.”

“I’m sorry...it's just I-I don’t mean to upset you or hurt your feelings. I know I can take it to far sometimes playing around. But I’m trying too, I seriously am...but seeing you like this, going through this...it hurts me too. You're my best friend and you're always putting others before yourself, but for once can you think of yourself.” A pause breaks through as he inhales a sharp breath, continuing in a soften tone. “I can understand if you don’t want to be honest with me, but please at least be honest to yourself. You're still struggling with your feelings and doing your best to conceal them, and I wish you would let yourself feel how ever you want. If you want to hide that piece of yourself as his soulmate or his friend, that's fine. I just don’t want you to hurt more than you already are. I am here for you, and I’ll help you any way that I can. Jimin, I just want you to be okay.”

Jimin sullenly responds,“You’re right. I’m sorry too. You say I think of others first, but this is me being selfish. I am thinking of myself, and I didn’t think how you would feel. Being the only one who knows what I am going through and seeing me through it. I don’t want to be a burden and cause you to worry over me-

“Jimin you know I didn’t mean it like that, I care about you.”

“Yeah, I know. I’m just confused right now. I don’t want to feel anymore and I try not to. But some days are harder than others, but I’ll be okay. When it becomes too much for me I’ll talk to you, I promise.”

“Can I ask you a question?” Taehyung ask

“Um..yeah, sure.”

“Would you be okay if Yoongi dates someone?” Taehyung questions.

“Huh..what,” Jimin responds quickly not sure why Taehyung is asking him this.

“I asked if you found out that Yoongi was dating let's say Hoseok, would you be still okay then.” Taehyung reiterates. “It’s fine if you don’t want to answer.”

Jimin is thrown by surprise over the question. The tug in his heart instantly reacting. Stomach filled with knots. Chest slightly racing from the sudden rush of emotions. Not wanting to show how affected he truly is. Quickly collecting the right words to say. “As his best friend I would be happy for him.”

“Okay then as the person who is his soulmate how would you feel.” Taehyung asks.

“Tae this is ridiculous. It’s been a long day, I’m tired, and I don’t feel well. I’m going to go to bed. Bye, I’ll talk to you later.” Jimin speedily says ending the call.

Laying across his bed. Unable to get Taehyung words out his head. Mind boggled at the thought of Yoongi and Hoseok maybe being more than just friends. Unsettled by the queasyness feelings still lingering within him. The difficulty to force the ache away, and look at it from a different point of view.

Yoongi doesn’t befriend others easily. Hoseok is a unique and charming guy who makes Yoongi laugh and smile bringing that side of out him more often. Recalling from earlier, how close and comfortable they were in each others space. Maybe within those subtle gestures holds more meaning than a friendly touch. Anything is possible, and truthfully they never talked about those kinds of things before. Who they like and have crushes on, or any tips for dating. Never able to bring the subject up and convey his own feelings to Yoongi. Contemplating against his own feelings. The two have be inseparable lately. If Hoseok is the one who can give Yoongi the happiness and love he deserves. Truthfully the one thing he wishes is for Yoongi to have someone else beside him, for when he’s gone. To see someone else be there for him, in that way, if anything that's the only thing he could ask for. Prepared for his inevitable goodbye. To be able to watch his best friend, his soulmate fall in love would a blessing in disguise.

Unfathomable to think how Yoongi would be like once he’s no longer here. It would put him at ease to know he wouldn’t be alone. The thought of someone else being there for him, easing the emptiness of his spot next to him. Maybe even filling it better than he ever could, or creating their own bigger space beside him. With that reasoning, Jimin will muster up the courage to be approving of anyone who brings Yoongi happiness.

~

Standing in the hallway, in front of Taehyung’s apartment. Jimin is waiting for someone to come to the door. Taehyung had sent out a group message saying he has some news to share, eagerly expressing his excitement for everyone to come over for his revelation. Already having a hunch on what or rather who it may be regarding, he made his way over to join in his friends good news.

Everyone has arrived and gathered in the living room. For the first time Jimin feels some what awkward being the the one sitting by himself. Everyone is scattered within the room in pairs of two. Yoongi brought Hoseok extending the invitation as an opportunity to introduce his new friend to the group. Making their group of six now turning into seven.

Figuring he should get use to Yoongi no longer occupying the seat next to him anymore. In this moment, even amongst his friends. Jimin feels alone. Looking around the room at the sight before him, he can’t help but think this the new picture of his friends life. What the image will be like without him.

Taehyung loudly clears his voice, breaking everyone away from their current conversation. Gaining their focus for his announcement.

“The reason I called you all here today, is because I-we wanted yall; our closest friends to know, Jungkook and I are together. Taehyung looks down smiling fondly at Jungkook whose cheeks are currently flushed by the attention he’s receiving from everyone.

Noise erupts with everyone making comments, cheering and clapping.

Seokjin yells, “Ya! It’s about time, you guys were driving us crazy with how obvious you two liked each other.”

“Hey it’s not my fault, I’ve know since the first time I met him, when you introduced him to us. I was just waiting for Jungkookie to feel the same towards me,” Taehyung protests.

“Wait, so is it true you both are soulmates,” Namjoon inquires.

Jungkook bashfully nods his head, confirming the question.

Taehyung gasps, “How did you know that, I only told Jimin.” Taehyung fiercely looks at him.

Jimin rapidly denies the accusations, “I never said anything I swear, but it was kinda obvious to us. I mean we could all see there was something going on with yall two. And you know how smart Namjoon is, he figured it out on his own.”

Everyone bursts out laughing at Taehyung stunned expression. Seokjin speaks once the laughter settles down, “ First it was Namjoon and I, and now Tae and Kookie, who will be next? Jimin...Yoongi.”
Jimin awkwardly laughs, his line of vision scanning over towards Yoongi and Hoseok. Worried Hoseok may get the wrong idea at the notion of their friends possibly insinuating something between Yoongi and him. He hastily tries to brush the remark off, “You guys know it's not like that between us, he’s my best friend.”

Jin amusedly raises his eyebrows at Jimin’s defense. “I didn’t mean you two together specifically.”

Jimin eyes widen. Feeling like an idiot, automatically assuming the question in that way. Fumbling with with his words on what to say, an “O-oh” escapes from his lips. He glances back over to Seokjin, noticing the smug smile on his face. Doubling over his expression, inferring his initial thought may of been right to begin with. He knows he’s being teased by the elder.

Jimin changes his focus over to Yoongi. Hoping he could see his distress and help him out here. Making eye contact with Yoongi, eyes silently pleading for him to say something, to say anything. Surprised by his indifference, as if he doesn’t even care to comment on the matter. Thinking back on how this situation is familiar. The few times people, family, and friends sometimes mistake and question their friendship for something more. How he was always the one fumbling to give an explanation that they are not together in that sense. Suddenly occurring to him that Yoongi never bother to answer them, he never cared to give an answer. Jimin thinks the only reason could be because Yoongi never thought of him in that way. He wouldn’t bother himself with the obvious fact that they are not together. He probably never thought it necessary to even refute the false claim.

Stunned against the complete quietness enveloping in the room. Until Taehyung (whom he sends an umteen amount or thanks to) springs up a conversation.

After more topics of discussions ensues. Leaving all previous subjects almost forgotten. Or at least nobody refers back to him and Yoongi specifically. By the time Jimin knows it everyone is getting ready to leave for the night.

He congratulates Taehyung and Jungkook one more time as he finishes with a goodbye and makes his way to head out the apartment.

“Jimin!” He stops by the door, turning around to see that Yoongi is the one who just called his name.

“Are you going back to our apartment.” Yoongi asks.

“Yeah, I am.” Jimin responds.

“Wait for me, let me just tell Hoseok bye.”

“Oh...okay.” Jimin stays standing by the door surprised Yoongi wants to leave with him instead of Hoseok.

~

They exit the bus in silence. Usually the silence between them feels natural but right now it feels stifling. It’s only a few blocks till they reach their apartment. Jimin doesn’t like this tense feeling. He looks over at Yoongi and notices his expression isn’t so relaxed either, he needs to say something to him.

He coughs to get the itch out his throat. “So Hoseok, err..he got along with the guys well.”
“Yeah, he said he liked they guys and was amaze at all the things Seokjin told him that Namjoon has broken since they moved in together.” Yoongi says while he keeps looking ahead.

They continue to walk down the block and once again silence consumes them. Jimin trying to think of what else he can bring up, but his mind is empty. Their apartment building is soon at their feet, as they trudge up the stairs. This time Yoongi breaks the silence, “Hoseok thinks Taehyung is the funniest, because of the faces he made when he found out we already knew about him and Jungkook.”
Jimin chuckles, recalling how hilarious Taehyung was. Approaching their floor as Yoongi continues to talk, “He was also surprised by the fact that they were soulmates.”

Jimin falters in his step, wondering why Yoongi decided to share that statement to him. Feeling the uneasiness settling back in his bones. He asks, “Why was that surprising.”

“I don’t know, he told me doesn’t has interest about soulmates. I guess I can see how that fits his personality, he’s a happy go lucky kind of guy.” Yoongi stops to take his keys out from his pocket as they're both standing by their apartment door.

At those words, Jimin feels like his throat is crushing down in his stomach. Is this Yoongi’s way to subtly bring up what was mentioned about them two earlier. Maybe Hoseok didn’t like how they were teasing about him and Yoongi. Tae probably sense it and was why he changed the topic. Is this why he ask Jimin about the possibility of them two being more than friends. Jimin feels so stupid for being oblivious to what is right in front of him. Before his mouth caves in he sputters, “Sorry about earlier.”

Yoongi looks at him confused. “What are you apologizing about.”

Jimin eyes bore towards the floor, “You know, the guys teasing about us in front of Hoseok.”

Yoongi unlocks the door open, but not moving to get inside. Turning around to face Jimin. “Why are you even apologizing about that?”

Jimin wants to make a run for it inside and hide in his room and forget he ever said anything right now. Still unable to meet Yoongi’s eyes he looks over his shoulder at the doorway. “Because the guys think he likes you, you know...likes you as more than a friend.”

He can feel the intensity of Yoongi’s gaze burning on his face. “So that's what they guys think..huh..what do you think Jimin?”

His pulse is racing now, and his throat beginning to feel scratchy. The words stammer out his mouth, “Well I-I think he does too. I mean look, when was the last time you been close to someone who wasn’t one of us. You been spending so much time with him and yall both have so much in common. It’s easy to picture yall two..you know being together.” After saying his piece, he raises his gaze towards Yoongi to gage his reaction.

It’s futile he’s unable to discern what Yoongi is thinking. He just feels Yoongi’s eyes looking at him, or rather through him. He wants to look away but he can’t. Yoongi has never looked at him like this before and he doesn’t know what it means.

“So you’re telling me, that Hoseok and I would be good together.”

Jimin needs to steady himself to reply back. He gathers his words to try and save face. Keeping eye contact to make him sound believable. “Yeah I really do, I think yall would be great together.”

“Okay,” Yoongi’s voice quietly states as he moves to head inside.

If Jimin wasn’t looking at him so intently he wouldn’t have heard his response. Okay? Okay..what? Unsure of what that even means. He jostled out of thought from the slamming of a door.

Jimin is at a loss of why Yoongi stormed off.

Chapter Text

Two weeks have passed since the night of Taehyung’s get together. Since then Jimin has noticed something off about Yoongi. A slight difference in his demeanor. It's a subtle change about him that Jimin can’t quite put his finger on. But it's there, and Jimin doesn't know what it is. Until he arrives at a party all the guys said they’ll go to. As he’s walking through the house looking around to find his friends. He spots Yoongi and evidently learns the reason of his temperament lately. Across the room, Yoongi and Hoseok are talking and laughing while holding hands. Easily reading their body language past being more than just friendly. Yoongi smiling the way only Hoseok can make him. And Hoseok draped across his side, their hands intertwined. The way they’re looking at each other, as if they’re in their own world. Not paying attention to anyone around them only focused on each other. Anyone can tell that they are together. The statement made is obvious and Jimin suddenly feels like he is drunk taking in the sight before him.

His head is swirling, his stomach feels heavy and unsettled as if his heart dropped from his chest. Stunned in place, Jimin doesn’t know what to do. Questions simmer inside him. Why didn’t Yoongi tell him Hoseok is his Boyfriend? Was he going to tell him or was he suppose to figure it out himself, like how he just did. Or was Yoongi planning to tell him today at the party, at the same time together with all their friends? Jimin feels like he is about to collapse. His emotions caving in on him. Still aware that he is staring at Yoongi and Hoseok displaying their affection for one another. When he notices their heads moving closer, leaning in for a kiss. Jimin instantly breaks out from his reverie. Shouting to himself to go, to leave, to get out. Luckily no one has even noticed his presence. Jimin runs out as quickly as he can.

Different thoughts passing through his mind, as he makes his way back to his apartment. Could it possibly be that Yoongi is drunk, which explains why he acts so weird lately. Flirting and kissing whoever is around him. Jimin shakes the thought, knowing Yoongi isn’t the type of person to act that way. Who is he kidding. He knew this was going to happen. He told himself he would be happy for Yoongi. What is wrong with him. He expected and prepared himself for it, and still he can’t help the way he feels.

His tears treading to fall. Jimin races to get home. Locking himself in the safety of his room. Behind his closed door, Jimin is struck with an intense pain. An awful tighten constricted feeling bubbling in his chest. His mask crumbling as his tears flow down. What Taehyung had told him was right. He couldn’t stop his feelings, but he can at least pretend till he’s behind his bedroom door. Alone, hiding within these four walls sheltering him from the person he loves. This crushing tightness in his chest won’t go away. But through the stillness of the night, solemnly he finds comfort by the moonlight peaking in his darken room.