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On Ma'aleca'andra, gender was as fluid as a Martian’s physical form. It could be changed at any time, as easily as shifting between a Social and True Form.
On Earth – the planet J’onn knew as Per'elandra in his youth – gender was fixed and static. Humans did not change their genders – not in the way Martians did. You were born one way, and it was difficult to change it.
In the year 1955, John Jones was murdered, and J’onn took his identity. Living as a man made things easier. On Earth, women had fewer rights than men, and were not given the same opportunities. He saw firsthand the vitriol heaped upon his partner Diane, simply due to her gender. People thought John Jones a real liberal, since he never seemed to mind working with a woman. In truth, he did not understand why such a thing mattered to begin with.
There were people like J’onn, but they lived hidden lives. Sometimes, he would walk down the street and feel someone’s mind, then realize it did not match their outer self. A hidden-woman might linger outside a shop window, gazing at a dress that she believed she would never get to wear. A hidden-man might tie back his long hair, wishing he could cut it short like his brothers. They existed, but they could never let themselves be known.
J’onn existed, but he could never let himself be known.
As the years went on, J’onn lived many lives. They all had their uses.
Yuchiro Takata helped him keep an eye on alien tech that was entering the market.
Isobel de le Rosa allowed him to keep his finger on the pulse of politics.
Tomasso helped him bring comfort to one old woman.
Paolo helped him protect vulnerable children who didn’t trust superheroes.
Goldie Johnston helped him keep up to date with world news.
More than that, they allowed him to be more fluid with his forms – he could shift and change with the day, with his mood, picking an alias that suited him better that day, rather than being beholden to remain John Jones and only John Jones.
Then, he had to leave those identities behind.
It stung in a way he didn’t expect.
Through the turn of the century, J’onn watched as humanity changed and grew. Things were not perfect, but they got better. People who were different no longer had to hide. He found more and more hidden-people who were no longer hiding. Finally, one day, he decided he would stop hiding.
He was not human. His Martian culture would always be a part of him, and that included his view of himself. Why would he hold himself to human standards? Why not be fluid? Why not be strange? Be alien to most?
If people didn’t understand, that didn’t matter.
He understood himself.
The words he once used to describe himself did not translate to any human language, as Martian speech was telepathic and did not translate well into spoken word. J’onn made new words for xemself - words that xe felt fit xem well. Most of the Justice League made an effort to call xem by the words xe created, though J’onn assured them that most things would be acceptable, and he would tell them if it was not.
It felt good to be seen as xe was.