Chapter Text
Shasby was in a twist, to say the least. He settled on the edge of his bunk and pressed his face into his palms, elbows rested on his knees. He hadn't planned anything to come out of the fling he had with Vance, another Sergeant, but in the end, alot worse had come out of their stupid ideas.
Shasby looked up after a long, long while of deep thought. His fingers had tangled in short blonde curls while he sat in that position, and he had half a mind to pull his hair out of frustration. He'd pulled his hair out before, and nothing was stopping him but willpower. So, he let willpower stop him. He pushed off of his knees and stood, pacing the area beside his bunk.
"What's worrying you so bad, Finnley?"
The voice came from the top bunk. Shasby's sunken, grey eyes turned upwards to make center on the narrowed eyes staring back at him.
"Nothing."
"You sure? You've been actin' twitchy for the past week."
One week. One week ago Shasby had taken that goddamn pregnancy test and the little two lines broke him. He was only 27, and he was a soldier, not a child-bearer.
"I'm sure." Shasby grunts. "Drop it, Vance."
Vance replies inaudibly with some obscenity before rolling backwards into his bunk.
Shasby stops his pacing, eyeing the top bunk. Vance was definitely the father. Shasby hadn't hooked up with anybody else in the past year, and there was no way he could get pregnant off of anything else unless he was the second Virgin Mary, except he wasn't a virgin.
Maybe he was gonna give birth to Jesus. The thought snaps him out of his daze momentarily and he stifles a grin. "Vance,"
"What?"
Vance peers over the edge of the bunk, raising an eyebrow at Shasby. Shasby gnaws his lip nervously, not sure what to say.
"Vance, i need to tell you something."
"I guessed that."
Shasby takes a moment to breathe. Does he just blurt it out? Probably?
He doesn't want to tell Vance though. Vance deserves to know, really, but he should just...keep it hush-hush, leave base unannounced some time off-duty, and get an abortion. Nobody needed to know.
"Well?"
Shasby tenses, realizing Vance was still staring at him.
"Nevermind," Shasby says, then moves towards his bunk. Vance exhales steadily, probably annoyed—Vance hated when Shasby did that. When Shasby changed his mind on things like that. Sometimes Shasby would do it to piss him off but, really, he just..couldn't bring himself to tell Vance.
Shasby climbs into the bottom bunk and rests on his side. He tries to just ignore Vance's presence and his existence in general.
His eyelids droop and exhaustion starts to take advantage of him, so, with anxiety-ridden thoughts and an unsure mind, Shasby drifts off to sleep.
He wakes to the blaring horn. Soldiers are waking and getting up all around him, and he jerks up, immediately feeling a rush of nausea twist his stomach, flooding his mouth with saliva.
Shasby chokes back bile and pulls himself out of his bunk, rubbing his eyes and then opening the bottom drawer that sits beside his bunk—the top drawer belongs to Vance.
Shasby tugs on fatigues, standard issue shirt, and boots, fumbling with his laces and belt. His fingers were shaky and weak. He turns and exits the barracks. He didn't want to go to the canteen for breakfast, so he decides to wait for drills to begin.
All throughout drills, he's a mess. He stumbles and gets chewed out, pukes in the middle of drills and gets chewed out, can't keep up and gets chewed out.
His body aches. After drills are over, he drags himself towards the barracks. He had to patrol at 0900 with somebody else, but who he didn't know yet. He drops down on the edge of his bunk and leans his head back, covering his mouth with one hand as nausea bubbles up in his stomach.
Why him? Is one of his main thoughts. What did he do wrong to get himself this punishment from whatever deity he pissed off?
Shasby pulls his hand away from his mouth. Blinks harshly. He looks up as somebody taps him on the shoulder and comes face to face with Vance.
"We're on patrol together, 0900."
"I know."
"Oh."
Out of all people. But Shasby smiles at Vance and Vance smiles back, but the look in his eyes tells Shasby that Vance was worried.
Worried about him. Sometimes it surprised Shasby that somebody would worry about him, even after some half-assed relationship neither put anything into and then it ended aggressively. Something inside of Shasby still wanted that relationship, still wanted to try and mend it. But it was fraternization, and not only that, but it'd gotten him pregnant.
Shasby glances both ways, and Vance drifts off to somewhere else. Shasby sighs and gnaws at his nails.
He made the descision dully, dreadingly, that he'd tell Vance on patrol.