Archive of Our Own ^beta

Cold sat on the edge of Contrarian’s bed, watching the latter pace in front of him. Contrarian had repeatedly started talking before stopping himself just as quickly, always avoiding eye contact, and the two of them had spent several minutes just waiting for the other to act.

Cold was considering grabbing Contrarian and making him sit down, if only to stop his pacing, when the smaller bird finally paused and put his face in his hands, groaning.

“I don’t… I just… I don’t know where to start, y’know?”

“Start anywhere.”

“It’s like…” Contrarian goes quiet again, rubbing his face for a few moments, before, “Okay. Okay, so… You know about migration, right? When birds and stuff fly south for the winter?”

Cold nods, unconsciously leaning forward in interest.

Contrarian starts pacing again, still avoiding eye contact, “Well, uh… Paranoid, Hunted, and me keep getting these, like… Urges. To leave. And head somewhere warmer. And when we realized that we all felt the same way, we met up and…”

“And?”

“Uh. Well, we started talking and for the most part, we all agree that we — the flock, I mean — should head south. We were planning some stuff, like what food we should bring, and how far we should go, when we should leave…”

“But?”

“But… Okay, they have plans for the ones that can’t fly very far, but… Well.” Contrarian spreads his arms out, finally meeting Cold’s eyes to give him a strained grin, “Flying.”

“You’re afraid that, if we migrate, you’ll have to fly?”

“Well… Yeah. And—and we have to, if we want to outrun the winter, but…”

“Then we won’t,” Cold tells him, shrugging as if that solves the problem.

“What? But we—”

“You will not be left behind. You will not be forced to fly. We’ll stay here. Plain and simple.”

“But—but we can’t, we…” Contrarian trails off, shivering slightly.

Cold tilts his head, a new thought occurring to him, “Did you tell the others about this? Paranoid and Hunted?”

Contrarian hesitates, rubbing his arms as if trying to warm himself up, “… No. I just… left. I don’t think they noticed.”

They’re both quiet for a few moments, Contrarian avoiding eye contact again. Eventually, Cold sighs, patting the space next to him on the bed. Contrarian sits down next to him, staring at the floor, leaning into Cold’s touch. Cold wraps his arms around Contrarian, rubbing his cheek with his thumb. He frowns beneath his scarf when Contrarian shivers again, leaning back to grab a blanket and put it around Contrarian’s shoulders.

They don’t say anything for a while, contemplative silence only occasionally broken by Contrarian’s shivering. A small part of Cold thinks that he’s the reason Contrarian is shivering so much, but when he half-heartedly attempted to lean away, Contrarian followed him, wrapping his wings around Cold as if trying to keep him there.

After a few minutes of thought, Cold has an idea, “What else do birds do during winter?”

Contrarian blinks in confusion before shrugging, glancing up at Cold.

“They hibernate. How about we stay here, sleep through the winter, and when we wake up, it’ll be spring again.”

Contrarian’s eyes slowly widen as he considers the suggestion, gears seeming to turn in his head.

“Yeah… Yeah, we’ll—we’ll need to eat a lot to store up some fat and such, but when we wake up, there’ll be plenty of food!” He grins at Cold, previous anxiety fading in favour of growing hope. “Thank you!”

Cold feels his feathers puffing up and quickly says, “Yes, let’s—let’s tell Paranoid and Hunted about this. I’m sure they’ll feel relieved, knowing that they won’t need to leave.”

Contrarian nods excitedly and gets up, blanket falling off his shoulders, pulling Cold with him as he walks to the door. He opens it and jumps at the sight of Paranoid and Hunted standing outside, Paranoid’s hand raised as if to knock. They all stare at each other in silence before Cold speaks.

“How much did you hear?”

Paranoid narrows his eyes in suspicion, “We just got here. What were you two talking about?” He turns to Contrarian, “And why did you just vanish earlier?”

Contrarian and Cold glance at each other, which only makes Paranoid more suspicious while Hunted tilts his head in confusion.

After a moment, Contrarian moves back to let Paranoid and Hunted enter his room, closing the door after them.

Contrarian clears his throat almost awkwardly, before putting a grin on his face. It’s one that Cold recognizes as forced, but knows that the others think is genuine. “We’ve figured out that we don’t need to leave for winter! We can just hibernate and wake up in spring—”

“Stop,” Paranoid interrupts, rubbing the space between his eyes as if getting a headache, “Contrarian, we can’t hibernate. I don’t think there are any birds that can hibernate.”

“There are some,” Hunted tells him, “But none of us are those types of birds.”

“Well, there you go,” Paranoid gestures at Hunted, still looking at Contrarian, “Look, we just need to fly south for a while, wait a few months, then we can fly back home once it’s warm enough.”

Contrarian doesn’t say anything, but his hand, still gripping Cold’s, squeezes tightly. Cold can tell that his mask is close to breaking, so he redirects the attention, “I highly doubt that the others will be willing to abandon this place, even for a few months, just to head to an unknown location for an unknown amount of time.”

It works, and Paranoid and Hunted turn to look at him. Contrarian squeezes his hand once in a silent ‘thank you’.

“We’re going to run out of resources soon enough,” Hunted explains, “Food, firewood, water. It’s best if we leave sooner rather than later.”

Paranoid nods in agreement, opening his mouth to say something, but Cold beats him to it, “And how, exactly, are you going to convince the others of that? They’re rather… headstrong, after all. They’re more likely to stay, if only to prove to themselves or to winter itself that they don’t need to run.”

Paranoid hesitates, considering his words. Cold is right, and they all know it. Still, he shakes his head as if trying to clear it, “This isn’t a matter of pride, it’s about survival.”

He turns to Contrarian before Cold can interrupt him again, “And before, you also wanted to leave. Why are you so against this now? What are you so afraid of that you’re willing to risk the flock’s survival—”

“Then we’ll tell Hero,” Cold says, continuing before Paranoid can open his mouth again, “If you’re so sure, we’ll tell Hero, right now. It’s well before we need to leave, so we’ll tell him ahead of time and he’ll make a decision.”

“What—”

“C’mon,” Cold pulls Contrarian out of the room, walking towards the kitchen. It’s almost noon, and Hero’s usually there at around this time.

Sure enough, Hero and Broken are talking in the kitchen, trying to decide what to eat. Cold interrupts them mid-conversation, hearing Paranoid and Hunted walking after them.

He talks before Paranoid gets the chance to speak first, “Hero, are you willing to migrate south for winter for an unknown amount of time?”

Hero and Broken glance at each other, confused. Paranoid opens his mouth, but Cold refuses to let him get a word in, “Paranoid and Hunted want to head south as the winter approaches, but I already told them that it’s very unlikely that the others would be willing to leave.”

Cold is half-gambling right now, hoping that he was right in his assessments of the other Voices. If Hero agrees with Paranoid and Hunted, he’ll be back at square one. Worse, really, because most, if not all, of the Voices follow whatever decisions Hero makes.

But Contrarian is tense beside him, gripping his hand like a lifeline. He’s scared, and Cold will do anything to help him.

Broken looks up at Paranoid and Hunted, seemingly searching for something in their eyes. “Why, exactly, do the two of you want to leave?”

“We’ll start to run low on resources soon,” Hunted explains, “It’s getting harder to find food, but if we leave for someplace warmer, we’re more likely to survive the winter.”

“And it’s not just us—”

Cold interrupts Paranoid again, ignoring the taller bird’s glare, “Hero, do you think that we can survive the winter without leaving?”

Hero, meanwhile, looks incredibly confused, “Wait, wait, wait. Why are you four coming to me about this?”

“… Because you’re the leader?” Contrarian asks more than answers.

“I am?”

Everyone turns to stare at Hero with various levels of incredulity. Hero’s feathers puff up a little at the scrutiny and he clears his throat.

“Okay, fine. Can we survive winter?” Hero takes a moment to think, crossing his arms and tapping one of his fingers against his feathers as he stares into space.

“Yeah,” Hero decides, “Yeah, we can survive the winter. We should store up some more nonperishables and such, just to be safe, but we’ll be okay.”

Contrarian squeezes Cold’s hand again, still wearing a smile, eyes alone showing his relief.

Hero turns to Paranoid and Hunted, “But why were only you two insisting that we leave?”

Hunted glances at Contrarian before focusing back on Hero, “Contrarian also wanted to fly south. We don’t know why he changed his mind, but…”

Broken tilts his head at Hunted as Hero opens his mouth, but Hunted continues before he can ask him to, “This isn’t necessarily just about surviving the winter. It’s mostly about that, yes, but it’s likely that there will also be hormonal changes. Increased lethargy, changes in personality, food cravings, and fat storage…  You can’t count on everyone being at their best once it gets colder.”

Hero considers this, and nods in agreement. “I’ll keep that in mind. If any of us experience such changes, then we’ll note it down and help them as best we can. But we’re not going to leave.”

Paranoid opens his mouth to protest, but for once it’s Hero that interrupts him, “I know you’re worried about this, but we’ve survived this long by working together. I’d rather stay in familiar territory and save energy than try to get the entire flock to move someplace completely new.”

Paranoid hesitates before relenting, knowing that Hero’s made up his mind on this. Cold relaxes a little, squeezing Contrarian’s hand.

With that, Broken starts making some food while Hero, Hunted, and Paranoid discuss various specifics on how they should prepare for the colder months. Cold watches Contrarian from the corner of his eye, noticing how his relief seems to drop into something else. Something sadder, just behind the lights in his eyes.

They eat quickly, thanking Broken for the lunch before Cold takes Contrarian back to the latter’s bedroom. It’s near impossible to get real answers out of the smaller bird anywhere else, and the room had become something of a safe haven for the two of them.

Cold drags Contrarian into the bed, piling blankets on him before joining him under the covers and wrapping his arms around him. Contrarian nuzzles into him, hugging back tightly as if scared that he’ll leave.

They lay there for a while, both listening to the slow breathing and heartbeats of the other. After a few minutes, Cold shifts his hold on Contrarian, looking at his expression. Contrarian looks away, that same dullness in his eyes.

“What is it?” Cold asks, rubbing Contrarian’s cheek with a thumb as he did earlier.

Contrarian opens his mouth. Closes it. Hesitates for several minutes. Cold isn’t the most patient of the Voices, but he can wait when he needs to, so he waits for Contrarian to collect his thoughts.

“What if he’s right?” Contrarian eventually whispers.

“Who?”

“Paranoid. What if… What if I’m just being selfish? What if the flock’s survival is really on the line? I…” He swallows thickly, pausing for a moment, before, “I… Need to get over this. I’ll need to fly one day. If—if I’m just better or braver or—”

“Hey,” Cold interrupts softly, making Contrarian look at him, “It’s not selfish to be scared. And you heard Hero; we’ll be just fine once winter hits. As for flying, you don’t need to be able to it.”

Contrarian stares at Cold, searching his expression for something Cold can’t begin to guess at.

“Do… Do you promise?”

Cold presses their foreheads together, watching as Contrarian sighs at the contact and closes his eyes.

“I promise.”