Chapter Text
Jayce was no stranger to the concept of death or dying.
In fact, he'd brushed up against death more times than he'd like to admit out loud, due to careless mistakes such as incorrect calculations or improper lab safety practices, circumstances beyond his control that landed him in a heap of shit at the bottom of a pit, or purposeful attempts to reach death's door by stepping onto nothing to reach the concrete below.
One thing about actually dying took him by surprise, though: Dying was quieter than he had expected. It wasn't as if he had expected much noise—no more than what he heard raging on all around him in his final moments.
Of course, his final moments had to be among chaos and the world ending at the Hex Gates. It was almost poetic. Jayce would come full circle. He would die where his life truly started, with Viktor and their Hex Tech dream.
Jayce took a deep breath, and his lungs stung from the soot and debris filling them. He closed his eyes, tipping his head back into the touch of Viktor's metallic fingertips on his forehead. This was it. This was the end.
All Jayce could hear were the sounds of screams and cries from friend and foe at the Hex Gates below, fading soon to be replaced by a sharp ringing.
Then the sound of his heart pounding loudly in his eardrums, the sound fading fainter and fainter as the beat slowed to a stop. Then the sound of one last deep breath being sucked in through his nostrils before releasing one last shaky exhale.
Then silence.
This is what death was truly— going from everything all at once to nothing at all.
Everything stopped. Everything went dark. Everything Jayce had ever known and everything that Jayce had ever been was gone. Everything ceased to exist. Jayce was everything and then became nothing.
Thump…
Thump…Thump…Thump-Thump…
Thump-Thump…
Until nothing became something once more.
It started slow; Jayce's heart was a dull ache in his chest as the muscle began to flex, squeezing before relaxing, constricting before expanding, as the slow, but consistent beat began to play music in his ears once more.
Then his lungs began to grow with shallow breaths, the death rattle, but oddly in reverse, taking in small amounts of oxygen through his nostrils and shakily releasing it from his hardly parted lips.
Huh?
What was happening?
As though waking from a deep slumber, Jayce's eyes began to crack open, only to quickly discover that doing so was a mistake as bright light stung his corneas from who knows how long of disuse. His eyes snapped shut on reflex as a gasp attempted to fill his barely working lungs, causing him to choke. A wheezing cough left his bone-dry throat, and that, too, caused Jayce a sharp pain in his abdomen.
Pain?
Dead men don't feel pain. Dead men don't see with their eyes or breathe with their lungs either. But if not dead, what was he?
He tried to reach for his stomach, to curl an arm around himself to self-soothe, only to find that he could not move. Dead men couldn't move, so that made sense. It was as if he were paralyzed— stuck where he last knelt. However, Jayce knew better than to panic. While it was tempting, understandable, and even justifiable, panic would do nothing. It wouldn't help, but it could make everything so much worse.
What was everything? What was going on? Wasn't he dead? Hadn't he died? Dead men can't think.
These thoughts were not helping. Instead of letting himself overthink, Jayce tried to focus on breathing. He took in slow, deep breaths. He focused on the feeling of his lungs, expanding to their limit, before slowly releasing every ounce of air. Rinse and repeat. In and out, breathe in and out. Once breathing felt instinctual again, Jayce shifted his focus to his heartbeat. It was slow, but steady.
Dead men don't have hearts that beat.
Jayce wasn't dead.
With every beat of his heart, Jayce could feel his blood pushing and pulling through his veins. It was as if he were thawing out. Each beat of his heart pumped blood farther, just a little farther with each passing second.
The feeling of nothing turned into numbness, and soon the numbness turned into tingly pricks—a static akin to regaining feeling after losing circulation to a limb that had fallen asleep.
Carefully, Jayce attempted to open his eyes once more. He couldn't see much; everything was still too bright, and his vision was too blurry to make out much of anything. He was only able to make out his hands that were barely outstretched just in front of his face.
With a squint, Jayce could make out that his hands were caked and covered with dirt, dust, and debris. And his fingers were curled, but as if they had been wrapped around something— something that was long gone.
His eyebrows furrowed in confusion, trying to remember what he had last held before the realization hit him that he had moved his eyebrows. And his eyes! He had willed them to open himself! Maybe he wasn't paralyzed then. A slight noise bubbled up in his throat, a laugh that didn't quite reach his mouth. But that was progress, too! There was hope!
Hope.
Jayce hadn't been acquainted with such a concept in such a long time…
A faint smile tugged at the corners of his lips, drawing another noise into his throat. Another sign that whatever was happening, whatever Jayce was experiencing, Jayce was swiftly recovering from it.
He turned his attention and hope to his fingertips, watching excitedly as he willed the tips to move. His fingers began to tremble before he managed to curl his fingers into themselves to form a fist. A breathy sound of relief pushed past his dry and cracked lips as he flexed his fingers, back and forth, curling and uncurling them until he could move them nearly fluidly.
Warmth caressed his eyes tenderly as wetness filled his waterline.
He was alive! Jayce was truly alive.
How could this be?
Jayce didn't have long to celebrate regaining his consciousness or body, soon doubling over as the numbness of his torso yielded to sensation and warmth, but to the weakness that came with being stuck in one position for who knows how long, too.
Despite his forehead hitting the hard ground in front of him, Jayce let out a pained chortle. Feeling something was better than feeling nothing, even if it was pain.
In fact, Jayce could feel a lot right now:
How cold the ground beneath him was as the cold seeped through his tattered clothing, attempting to leech what little warmth his body had managed to create as quickly as he produced it.
How cutting the wind was as it whipped his hair into the air, getting it out of his face to cut his skin.
How eerily quiet it was.
What happened? Was Jayce still atop the Hex Gates? It seemed so. All he could recall was how cold Viktor's metallic fingertips felt pressed against the heat of his forehead and the screams of the damned below before everything went blindingly, heavenly white. Then black. Nothing. Death
But how could that be if he was here again? Seemingly, after all that he remembered transpired and passed…
Jayce needed to get up. He couldn't stay here, dwelling on what happened or how he had come to be alive again. He needed to get out of here. Wherever 'here' was, but either way, he was exposed to far too much to be safe. He needed water, food, and shelter. Then he could try to figure everything out.
He sucked a deep breath into his lungs, letting it out slowly and shakily, before pressing his hands to the ground on either side of his head, pushing himself up on weak, wobbly arms.
At least, that was the goal. Jayce soon found himself with a new perspective—a horizontal one. He had fallen onto his side when his arms, not ready to lift the weight of his upper body yet, gave out under him. Luckily, he had managed to shift to his side instead of falling flat on his face again.
"Ugh…" He groaned, soon laughing breathily at his pathetic predicament. He had miraculously returned from the dead, and he was soon to succumb to the same fate if he couldn't even sit up to get his barrings.
As his hands and arms were about the only functional parts of his body right now, he brought his fingers up to his eyes to rub and dig at them, pinching the bridge of his nose before rubbing his hand down his face.
Baby steps. Clearly, he's trying too much too fast for his current state. And catastrophizing his circumstances wouldn't help a thing. Focus. Everything would be okay if he focused on taking this one step at a time.
Jayce blinked a few hard times, clearing his sight before freezing when his eyes fell upon…
Was that a figure in the distance? Or was Jayce seeing things?
He shoved a hand against the ground, his spiked adrenaline allowing him to push his upper body up. He hissed as he landed on his elbow, eyes not leaving the outline of what looked like a lone person in the distance because the figure was coming closer.
Fuck, was it one of those porcelain husks that had swarmed the Hex Gates? He could barely take one of those fuckers before he was in this state! Much less now!
Jayce grunted as he rolled over onto his stomach, attempting to push himself to sit back on his feet again. He sighed in relief when he managed to do it, but he didn't have time to celebrate his small victory. He squinted at the figure, and it was approaching fast!
His head whipped around to look for something, anything to defend himself with, causing his vision to blur and stomach to lurch, but he swallowed the rising bile with a grimace. To Jayce's dismay and distress, there was nothing—absolutely nothing—on this rooftop to use as a weapon!
Hadn't he had the mercury hammer the last time he was up here?! Where was it?!
"S-s-st…ay…b-b…ack!"
Speaking felt like a bunch of tiny blades were slicing into his throat, but Jayce forced the two simple words out as best as he could while his breath was picking up, coming in fast and short as panic began to rise within him.
By the time he looked up again, the figure was only a few feet away. In just a few steps, the figure would be on him, and Jayce would be defenseless and too weak to do anything about it. Jayce's chest rose and fell rapidly, each breath feeling like a stab to the gut.
He had one hand on the ground, ready to try to push himself up, while the other began to stroke the ground in an attempt to gather as much dirt and debris as he could. Such a cheap shot depended entirely on this figure being organic and not one of those husks, but Jayce was desperate to try something. He would try anything to live another day and not squander this second chance at life!
Jayce swallowed thickly and groaned; his throat was already bone-dry, but feeling as if it were stuffed with cotton made the meager amount of saliva sliding down feel as if it were cutting him on the way down. He feared blinking, lest the figure move as quickly as a single blink, but instead it remained frozen where it stood, giving Jayce a moment to take it in.
The figure had a slight frame, but not in the same way as the porcelain husks. It wasn't perfect, not nearly as poised as those wretched things. And last time Jayce checked, those husks didn't wear clothing. This figure wore a dirty, frayed white cloak that kissed the ground at their feet. The good was so deep that Jayce couldn't make out anything besides an abyss of darkness within its confines that consumed their facial features.
The two faced each other in complete silence for what felt like an eternity before the figure raised shaking, lithe hands to the edge of their hood, slowly pulling it back to reveal—
Jayce's eyes widened, sucking in a breath so sharply that he promptly choked on it. He heard a quick shuffle—the sound of worn soles sliding across the hard ground—before lifting his head to find Viktor.
He was much closer, only an arm's length away now, keeping his distance from Jayce while still reaching out toward him. But he was hesitant, and he pulled back slightly, not allowing himself to come close enough to actually touch Jayce.
"Is it really you, Jayce? O-Or am I-I dreaming once more?" Viktor asked, his voice barely above a whisper and hardly audible over the wind that whipped between them. But Jayce still managed to hear him and smiled faintly.
While Viktor seemed hesitant, coming closer allowed Jayce to make several more quick observations:
One, this Viktor was not the Herald; at least, he did not look like the evolved version of the Herald that Jayce remembered facing before his untimely death. While this Viktor still had a bit of purple and gold licking at his face below his cheekbones, he looked a lot more like the Viktor he met at the Commune. Except for his hands, they were still flesh.
Two, this Viktor was old; he wasn't an elderly man by any means, but he was older than, well, Jayce thought Viktor would ever be, which was an odd comfort to Jayce. To Jayce's delight, this Viktor had a bit of facial hair, too. It actually suited him quite nicely.
Three, Viktor was crying profusely. While he wasn't outwardly sobbing violently, tears streaked his cheeks and ran down into his graying beard, and there seemed to be no stopping them.
With a faint, almost pitying smile, Jayce reached out for Viktor's slowly lowering hand with his trembling one, managing to catch it to hold in his own. Jayce smiled and managed a faint noise that sounded something like a chuckle because Viktor's hand was just like he remembered— cold to the touch and a stark difference, even now, in his warm hand.
Gently, Jayce urged Viktor closer with a weak tug, looking up to meet his eyes; Viktor's beautiful eyes flickered between the original gorgeous gold that Jayce had always remembered and this new, incredible, color-changing iridescence, as if the color could not remain stable with Viktor's wavering emotions.
And then, without breaking their eye contact, Jayce leaned forward to press his lips to Viktor's knuckles, nodding slowly.
"I-it is."
Viktor inhaled sharply, snatching his hand from Jayce's grasp to cover his mouth in shock as a fresh sob slipped from him, as if he were attempting to hold down the sobs that he choked on in his throat. Oh, but Jayce couldn't have this.
Slowly and carefully, Jayce pushed against the cold, hard ground, wobbling as he shifted to put his entire weight on his feet. Once he was stable in a squat, Jayce rose to his feet, coming to his full height before Viktor, whose eyes followed him, watching the entire ascent in disbelief.
Jayce reached out, placing his hands on Viktor's shoulders to steady himself with a soft, apologetic smile, taking only a moment to gaze down into Viktor's beautiful eyes before—
"Jayce!" Viktor gasped as Jayce threw his arms around the frail man's shoulders, sending them both to the ground in a heap of limbs. And Jayce could only snicker, wrapping his arms around Viktor tighter, pulling him against his chest into a nearly bone-crushing hug.
"S…s-sorry," Jayce whispered as he buried his face into Viktor's hair. One of his hands slid up Viktor's neck, his fingers sliding into his surprisingly soft strands before curling tight into them against the crown of Viktor's head.
After a deep breath of Viktor's hair, Jayce let out a slow, shallow breath before his shoulders began to shake as sobs soon took over his body.
"Oh, Jayce…" He heard Viktor whisper into the crook of his neck before he felt Viktor's arm encircle him to pull Jayce in closer, his fingers curling into the tattered remains of Jayce's councilman coat along his back.
"Y-You…" Jayce started coughing weakly before squeezing Viktor harder, then continued.
"You st-still…smell like y-you used t-to. D-Do you know that?" Jayce chuckled wetly, shaking his head in disbelief. While the scent wasn't identical to their academy days, the smell that was uniquely Viktor remained, and that fact was a great comfort to Jayce because it meant that no matter what, this Viktor was still his, one way or another.
Soon, he felt Viktor's body shake in laughter while the man's grip loosened on the back of Jayce's coat. But Viktor's hands didn't leave Jayce as they dropped down his back, sliding around Jayce's waist before sliding up his chest. He pushed against Jayce gently, not hard enough to push him off, but just enough to get Jayce to lift his head and meet their eyes.
"No, I didn't actually." Viktor chuckled, his hands raising to cup Jayce's jaw before smoothing his thumbs over Jayce's cheekbones to swipe the tears away before they fell upon his face. "This suits you. Your beard, I mean. Do you know that?"
A smile slowly spread across Jayce's lips, lifting a hand to rest it on top of one of Viktor's to keep it in place for him as he turned his head to press a kiss to Viktor's palm. "Y-Yes, I figured. B-But I—" Jayce ducked his head a little to cough before smiling sheepishly. "Sorry. I, uh, didn't know that you…"
"Would like it?" Viktor offered Jayce, who graciously accepted with a nod and a breathy chuckle, giving Viktor a silent thank-you with another kiss to his palm. Jayce kept his eyes on Viktor after his lips peeled away from the other man's hand, his lips quirking into a faint smile.
For once, it seemed as if Viktor had been stunned into silence, but soon, his tongue darted out to wet his lips, and his lips parted with the aid of a faint smirk. "What is not to like? It's on you, isn't it?"
Jayce felt warmth spread across the cold tips of his nose and ears, the sensation filling his cheeks and neck. He let out a breathy chuckle and bit his lip. But once he started laughing, he couldn't stop. The chuckle turned into a fit of giggles, and then the fit of giggles turned into a full, hoarse, but joyous laugh.
Jayce dropped his hand from Viktor's to wrap both arms entirely around Viktor's waist, pulling him off the ground and against his chest before dropping his forehead to Viktor's.
Almost as quickly as the giggle fit overcame him, it fizzled out, leaving the two in silence. Jayce nuzzled Viktor's forehead with his own before slowly opening his eyes to find Viktor's eyes wide and his cheeks flushed scarlet. "What?" He whispered before his eyes dropped to realize the position that they were in.
Oh.
Jayce was practically on top of Viktor, straddling his hips while holding him close. Not only was the position quite intimate, but the way they held one another was too.
"Do you…happen to know what a forehead touch means in Zaun?" Viktor asked, almost hesitantly and hauntingly, and in a way that made Jayce's heart drop to his stomach.
"Uh…no." Jayce shook his head while chewing his lip, watching Viktor closely as he did the same. Viktor averted his eyes, but stayed secure in Jayce's grip. Despite his hands slipping from Jayce's jaw to his chest, he made no other move to get away from Jayce. Instead, his fingers curled into the fabric of Jayce's coat, and one of his hands found a stray thread to pull at idly.
"Ah, well, eh, you see, it is…primarily reserved for…loved ones. You know…family members and lovers."
"Really?"
"Y-Yes," Viktor whispered, almost hesitantly lifting his gaze to meet Jayce's once more. Jayce bit his lip, removing one of his hands from Viktor's waist, only to brush a lock of hair from Viktor's face to behind his ear; his fingertips then danced along the shell of his ear and cascaded along the hairs of Viktor's jawline until they caught the man's chin between them.
"I-I guess it's a good thing that I…I love you then, right?" Jayce admitted while curling his arm around Viktor tighter, hoping his confession wouldn't scare him off.
"Do you mean—"
"Yeah, I do." Jayce nodded firmly, idly rubbing his thumb back and forth across the spot beneath Viktor's bottom lip. "I…know it's too late for this. I've been…so oblivious…naive…blind…but I've had…a lot of time to think about my past— our past…and my feelings…about you and me, and I'm…finding it hard to…talk right now, sorry, but I…I do, Viktor. I love you, and I… think I always have. It just…took me falling into a fucking ravine and…clawing my way out of it to realize it."
The silence that fell over them this time was deafening; Jayce could hear nothing and do nothing besides stare down at Viktor, who had lifted his head from Jayce's during his rambling, but he hadn't moved. Still, he hadn't tried to pull away at all. Viktor stared as tears began to well up along his waterline.
But after another excruciating moment of silence, he smiled and then whispered, "Jayce, can I kiss you?"
"Please."
Tears welled up in Jayce's eyes the moment that Viktor's lips touched his. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath through his nose, letting Viktor take his head in his hands to pull him closer, and he, in turn, wrapped Viktor up in both of his arms.
Viktor's lips were a bit chapped, but his kiss was soft and sweet and surprisingly warm. Despite the cold air whipping around them, nearly slicing their skin up, Jayce couldn't feel any of it as the warmth of Viktor's kiss spread to every cell of his body, warming him faster than Jayce's heart ever could. And Jayce hoped that Viktor felt that same warmth fill him as he kissed him back until his lungs emptied of every last breath.
Reluctantly, Jayce pulled back from Viktor's kiss, snickering as Viktor chased his lips for another. Not able to resist Viktor's silent plea for more, he gave him another kiss that was shorter than the first, but longer than a quick peck. And then he gave him another, and another, and one last kiss until his grin and teeth prevented another lock of their lips. Jayce finally resisted Viktor's insistence and eagerness, raising a hand to brush the hair that had blown into Viktor's face from his eyes.
The look that Jayce found in Viktor's eyes, when he gazed into them, was intoxicating. Viktor's eyes were glazed over and so full of love that it overflowed in the form of tears. But he was smiling, and his eye color was shifting rapidly between a pastel iridescent rainbow and sweet honey and back. Jayce snickered and cupped his cheek, bringing Viktor in to touch their foreheads once more.
"I take it that…you love me, too?"
"Of course, Jayce!" Viktor said incredulously, as if the answer was obvious. Truthfully, it was, now that Jayce thought about it. Jayce simply hadn't been paying attention back then, but in retrospect, Viktor was painfully in love with Jayce, and Jayce had missed all of the signs. "I have loved you since the day that we met in that exploded lab of yours. I have been waiting for you to notice me in the same way since."
"Sorry it took so long."
"I suppose I can find it in my heart to forgive you," Viktor snickered while nuzzling Jayce's forehead. "I just got you back. I won't lose you again."
"I hope you can," Jayce whispered, slipping his head from Viktor's to bury his face into Viktor's neck while pulling him close to his chest, desperately clinging onto him. He was scared of losing Viktor, too. He had lost him one too many times, too. And each time had been worse than the last.
"I thought you were dead," Viktor admitted so quietly that the wind nearly took his reply with it as it whipped around them again. Jayce squeezed him against his chest, shifting his head to kiss Viktor's jaw. Viktor whimpered against Jayce's head as he slid his fingers into Jayce's hair, cradling Jayce's head in a way that had Jayce practically melt into the man beneath him.
"I…thought I died, too." Jayce shifted his head up to look at Viktor. "How am I alive?"
Viktor stared down into Jayce's eyes and swallowed thickly before shaking his head. "I…I'm not sure, honestly, Jayce." He bit his lip, seemingly self-soothing by running his fingers through Jayce's hair. Or, perhaps he was doing so because he still wasn't quite sure if any of this was real. Jayce wasn't sure.
"I…have theories. But I'm not sure if you will believe me if I tell you what they are." Viktor mumbled.
"Try me," Jayce responded with a faint smirk and a twinkle of wonder in his eyes. "Clearly, we aren't working with the standard laws of the universe here, so I don't think any theory can be completely incorrect."
"Yes, I suppose you have a point. For whatever reason, you have truly defied all odds and returned to me from porcelain to flesh." Viktor hummed while reaching up to trace shapes into the skin of Jayce's cheekbone with his fingertips. He sighed definitively, removing his fingers to replace them with his lips to kiss Jayce's cheek.
"We can discuss theories later, though. For now, you should come with me." Viktor told him, pressing his hands against Jayce's chest to urge him up and off. Jayce did as he was guided and pushed himself up to sit on his feet again, watching as Viktor picked himself up and brushed his robe off.
"A cup of tea and a warm meal would do us both some good, yes?" Viktor asked with a smile once he had finished dusting himself off.
"Yes." Jayce nodded, smiling as he took the hand that Viktor held out for him to stand. And once he was on his feet again, he dipped down to steal one last kiss from Viktor. "That sounds fantastic, Vik."
A faint blush brushed Viktor's cheeks while he laced the fingers of their joined hands, reaching behind himself to pull his hood back up with his other hand.
"Ready?"
"Lead the way, mage."
Written by a human in Ellipsus.