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My fellow friends and colleagues know me as Xu Minghao. I am a black lop-eared rabbit with the tips being brown. Unfortunately, my ears are the only ones who do not stand up straight like all the other rabbits in Wonderland. I tend to thump around in irritation with my short temper.
Everyone knows me as the Prime Minister of the Country of Diamonds. I despise the colour white but the Queen of Diamonds adores it. I cannot handle the brightness of white as it reflects peace and purity which is quite lacking in this world. If I could, everything would be black – showcasing emptiness yet elegancy.
I remember feeling the air being so crisp and clear with everyone’s kindness being warm and toasty. The colours of the leaves were so vibrant from the reds, oranges and yellows and chestnuts were falling off the trees. In later time, the wind would pick up blowing away these leaves and coat the trees with white. Oh, how I loathe the colour.
When the flower of love blooms, it all happens in a few embarrassing moments for me.
The White Rabbit was a tall sturdy man who was always wearing a watch and a crisp clean suit to go along with it. Some days, you can find him meditating in peace and enjoying the serenity of nature surrounding him. He had straight white rabbit ears with a small puffy white tail. I was just slightly taller than him donning on the opposite colours.
He had the same role as me, Prime Minister. However, he was loyal to the Queen of Hearts as I was to the Queen of Diamonds. He would always be consistently late for many appointments and affairs due to how he is as a rabbit. There were days when he rhymed and days when he did not. He was such an eccentric rabbit. The day I told him that I didn’t like him was a day he chose to be out of this world. His face held a blank expression with his eyes slightly larger than usual.
Oh, what a fool I was. Just thinking about it makes me shudder in embarrassment.
“I am not that big of a fan of you,” I stated while crossing paths with him. There was just something that irked me. Was it his soul? His clock? Or maybe just his entire being? The path my feet took me on was a pale-yellow pathway covered in different coloured leaves. My nose twitched as I saw Wen Junhui looking out into my direction. His eyes were dazed and he did not respond. He just blankly stared at me. The only response I got was the crunching of the leaves as I walked closer to him.
I heaved a sigh and continued, “Every time we cross paths, my clock seems to go out of control.” Just saying this sentence makes me feel like I am going to die. If my clock is going to go out of control and stop tick, it truly did mean for my moment of death.
In an irritated manner, I thumped, “I feel I will be robbed of my time. I feel as if I will die soon with all this rapid ticking. It is a sign of something. I am sure of it.” Jun gazed into the sky as he said, “I wonder if there is more to life than being here in Wonderland. I think you would understand.”
Are you hearing this? What does that even mean? I looked at him in confusion and slowly he walked away. That day just happened to be the last day I was there for the season. The next time I saw him was in glacial winter.
The trees were now barren with the ground covered in white fluffy snow. The wind was too frosty for my liking. In contrast, all I wore was black winter gear – black puffy jacket, black boots, black hat, you name it. I just wished that the Queen would let me take my trip in the beginning of winters. The less snow I see, the happier I’ll be.
There I saw him, sticking his tongue out to catch falling snowflakes. His cheeks now burned with crimson and a small pile of snow has piled on his head. I wonder how long he has been out here for. His entire attire was white matching this very scene.
I closed my eyes and quickly said, “I somehow get all jittery every time I see you. I don’t quite understand why my body stiffens around you. In my spare time, I find myself frequently thinking of you.” Just like before, there was no proper response filling my stomach with embarrassment once again. He did not spare me a glance – just sticking his tongue with no care in the world. He truly does live in his own Wonderland full of wonders, joy, dreams and imaginations.
Agitated by this, I briskly walked by him going towards my destination. As I passed by, I smelled hints of vanilla only to then be grabbed at the wrist. I now faced the White Rabbit. “Today is cold. Here, take my scarf. It’s not that old,” he whispered as he proceeded to swirl his scarf around my neck. My whole body stiffened holding a breath I dare not take.
The colour white was on me. Such a disgusting colour for me yet beautiful for him. Minghao looked at me and smiled, “Happy holidays.” Then he shoved his hands into his pockets and walked away in a fleeting manner.
The material was soft and plush. I blushed and looked down at the ground in awkwardness. It smelled just like the White Rabbit. Thank you.
The next time I saw him was during the rainy season. Apricots were working their way to grow. Strawberry bushes were peeking through as an indication of a fresh beginning. Flowers soaking in all the showers that they can get. Tulips, roses, lilacs and many others were trying their hardest to bloom. Spring was a nice break from all the snow. The rain just had a habit of getting people’s way.
I enjoyed the rain. It brought peace and tranquility to me in a way that the world could not. I like to watch rain drops race against each other on window glass. Looking through the rain drops, they looked so clear and at peace.
In this moment, I am now sitting absentmindedly as I played drums on one of the books. Just me sitting enjoying this quiet time in the library. Tweedledum was just working and shelving away books in the proper homes of its bookcases. As he strolled along, he stopped by the romance section, “Love is a wonderful thing, is it not?”
I scoffed at him, getting out of my daze. “Love? I only know what hate is.”
“Love is a wonderful feeling. Sometimes you can’t help but think of that one person. You blush oh so madly bursting into a red velvet rose. Without their touch, you think you will suffocate. You need them. You want them all the time,” Tweedledum retorted as he continued to fix up some books onto the shelves.
“I hate the White Rabbit. He is always managing to wonder in my mind. All I do is think of him. During the winter, he did in fact make me blush. He has this thing for rhyming, but I wonder if it’s on purpose,” I sighed as I can feel Tweedledum’s eyes on me giving a slight look of side-eye. I wonder when the next time will be when I get to see him.
Tweedledum gently asked, “Did you know that not all things will last forever? That hatred you claim may be blossoming into love. It might just be at its budding stage but you just need to give it some more water and patience.”
The door to the library opened, welcoming a bit of fresh air and the sounds of the pitter patter. “Welcome!” the librarian gleefully shouted but I did not bother to look at the new guest. I continued to stare out the window and enjoy the harmonious rain drops through the window. I bit my lower lip and questioned softly, “How long is forever though?”
A new voice disturbed my thoughts and answered, “Sometimes, just one second.” I spun my head towards the voice and saw the White Rabbit. He tilted his hat like a gentleman and smiled. All I did was stare. This time, it was me not responding to him. I watched him in awe.
“I was wondering if there were any new books for me to read,” Jun asked curiously. “Nope, not today. If you want, we can introduce you to a new genre,” said Tweedledee, the receptionist of the library. The White Rabbit shook his head then proceeded to look at me and smile once again.
Then he took off into the heavy rain once more. This was the moment I realized my hatred would not last forever.
The next time I saw him was in the scorching summer. It was always too hot during the summers in Wonderland. Most people would stay at home avoiding the sun until it was evening when it was slightly cooler. I was on a mission to catch the White Rabbit on the yellow path just before I had to go back to the Country of Diamonds.
There he was smiling into the sky as he held onto a white kite. He looked so elegant enjoying his time out here. “I hate the colour white, but it seems I now manage to endure it for you,” I shouted at him. He looked at me and tilted his head in the direction of the kite, “Do you want to fly my kite with me? It’ll be a lot of fun, you’ll see.”
I stood next to him and stared at his side portrait. I felt as if my breath had been taken away with my clock ticking quickly as speed can take it. The colour white truly did suit him. With one hand holding his kite, his other hand grasped onto one of mine. I gulped and slightly panicked, not knowing what to do. “You say that you hate me, but I really think that you like me. If not, I think it is sprouting from a crush within you and it is just full of glee,” he stated not taking his eyes off his dear kite.
All I could do was nod. He continued graciously, “I may not be that great of a person, but I do think I like you too. Sometimes I am in my own world and become blind to what is around me but that’s because I daydream of you.”
Once again, I am not responding. The silence engulfed us, but it was comfortable and calm. “All the times you have said you hated me. I think you meant you liked me. No offence but every time you spoke to me, my clockwork would just start rushing away weirdly.”
“Wen Junhui, although I may detest the colour white, I truly do think I could come to love you,” I smiled into the direction of the kite while giving his hand a tight squeeze. The bud of hatred bloomed into a flower of love because it was watered by all my feelings of joy, love and happiness.