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For as long as Remus could remember, his life had always consisted of routine. He woke up at the same time, ate nearly the same breakfast, took the same route to university, returned home in the evening, had dinner at the same hour, watched TV for exactly one hour, then studied until late night and went to bed if he hadn't already fallen asleep at his desk. Every day he followed his familiar schedule, except on weekends when he could afford himself some freedom.
Every weekday, he boarded the Richmond to London train at the same hour, entered the same carriage, and took the same seat. On the left, by the window, facing forward. Each time he would take out a book and read exactly twenty-six pages in twenty minutes on the way. The carriage always swayed gently from side to side, the wheels always rattled softly on the tracks and outside the window the same landscapes – familiar buildings, signs, and trees – flashed by.
And there was always him, sitting across the aisle. Always at the same time, in the same carriage, in the same seat. On the right, by the window, facing forward. Remus heard his name by accident one day when an unusually noisy group of young men burst into the carriage, shattering the cozy morning quiet with loud chatter and laughter. They quickly surrounded him, all talking over each other with wild gestures. It was then that Remus found out that his constant travel companion's name was Sirius.
Sirius always wore a faded black leather jacket, combat boots and knee-ripped jeans. His long black hair was usually tied in a messy bun, his fingers were decked with rings and he always spent exactly ninety seconds detangling his wired headphones. The music in his headphones was always so loud that Remus could hear every word of the songs if he really wanted to. Sirius always nodded his head to the beat of the music or swung his leg and sometimes sang along softly to himself.
They got on and off at the same station every morning and evening, but never talked. Only occasionally did their glances meet, followed by an exchange of awkward smiles. Or rather it was awkward for Remus, but Sirius in turn seemed to feel no such hesitation and was the first to greet Remus with a slight nod of his head when he jumped into the carriage a couple of minutes before departure. Remus was too well-mannered to ignore him. Afterwards, he always immersed himself in his book, while Sirius put on his headphones and sprawled on the seat, sometimes even throwing his feet on the opposite seat.
The dreary rainy autumn gave way to a winter that turned out to be unexpectedly snowy. Everything was buried under high snowdrifts and a persistent wind prevented them from fully enjoying the atmosphere of the upcoming Christmas. That morning a fierce blizzard was raging and Remus almost missed his train fighting his way to the station. Once inside his carriage he let out a sigh of relief and allowed himself to relax into his seat, then glanced across the aisle. Sirius was already there, untangling his headphones and looking at him with raised eyebrows. “Late? You?” Remus read in his eyes and answered with a slight apologetic half-smile as if he really owed him something. Sirius just smirked and turned back to the window, putting his headphones on, and Remus understood their brief silent dialogue was over. He opened his book. The train gave a slight lurch and began to move slowly forward. The blizzard outside only intensified and the landscape was almost invisible. Snow hammered against the window. The wind moaned.
Ten minutes and fourteen pages later, the train gave a sudden jolt and stopped dead. A wary silence descended. Remus frowned in confusion, peering out the window, but there was nothing to see. Just snow, the bare trees of some park and a nearby highway with a line of cars stuck in a dead traffic jam. No station was in sight. After a couple of minutes, a voice crackled through the speakers: “Ladies and gentlemen, this is your train manager speaking.” Remus looked up from his book and exchanged glances with Sirius, who pulled one headphone from his ear and was looking at him questioningly. Remus shrugged his shoulders slightly while the voice continued: “We apologise for the delay. We are currently being held here due to adverse weather conditions. We'll stay here for five minutes until we receive further instructions. Thank you for your patience.” Remus saw Sirius nodded to himself, put on his headphone and turned back to the window, looking at the frost patterns covering the glass.
Another ten minutes passed. Then fifteen. And twenty. People in the carriage gradually began to bustle. A hoarse, noticeably more strained voice came from the speakers again: “Ladies and gentlemen, this is your train manager speaking. I'm afraid we are likely to be held here for some time. There are reports of trees on the line in the Barnes area, and the Network Rail teams are on their way to clear the obstruction. At this time, I cannot give you a definite estimate for our departure. We will keep you updated as soon as we know more. Once again, my sincere apologies for the inconvenience.” A wave of discontented, anxious murmurs swept through the carriage. Some jumped up from their seats heading towards the front carriage, others furiously tapped out messages on their phones, while a few simply leaned back resignedly with closed eyes deciding to use the unexpected time for rest. Remus was among the latter. He settled more comfortably into his seat and returned to his book trying to ignore the surrounding noise. At best, this delay meant he would miss his lecture but that didn't bother him. He was a conscientious enough student that he could afford to skip one day without major consequences.
Remus couldn't have said how much time had passed when another announcement pulled him from his book where he had already read ninety eight pages. “Attention, please. Due to severe weather and multiple incidents on the South Western Railway network, all services are currently suspended. This train will be held here until further notice. We advise passengers to remain seated. We are sorry for the delay.” Passengers around could hardly contain their anger and disappointment. The blizzard outside continued to rage and the traffic jam on the highway seemed not to have moved an inch. Remus gazed thoughtfully out the window, tapping his fingers on the pages of his book. How long will he have to spend here? It was too far to walk to the nearest stations, especially in such weather, so all that remained was to resign himself and simply wait for the storm to pass. The entire day was going to hell.
He occupied himself with reading for another hour. Well, at least today he will exceed his daily reading schedule. It wasn’t quite his usual routine, but it was a decent enough change to the routine that had already gotten a little tired. Suddenly there was a rustle beside him and a second later someone dropped into the empty seat next to him. Or not just someone. Sirius. Remus raised his eyes to meet those of his unexpected neighbor, a question in his gaze.
“My phone's dead,” the other complained, waving his device with its black screen for emphasis. “I'm bored.”
“Am I supposed to entertain you?” Remus asked surprised.
“Well, I figured you could help me kill the time. We've been sharing this route so long, I didn't think you'd object to a bit of company.”
“Solid logic. But I'm busy.” Remus nodded at his open book.
“Killjoy,” Sirius drawled, stretching out in his seat and propping his booted feet on the opposite seat. Remus almost rolled his eyes. “Can I listen to music on your phone? I'll plug in my headphones.”
Remus heaved a sigh but handed over his unlocked phone to his neighbour. It was easier to give him something to do, otherwise the prospect of a profoundly awkward conversation about nothing meant to fill the uneasy silence loomed on the horizon. So he simply let the near-stranger rummage through his device. Soon enough the expected muffled rock music started up from the right and Remus was able to return to his book. But his peace was short-lived. Only a hundred and fourteen pages later his seatmate fidgeted again, grabbing his focus again.
“You've got thirty-eight percent left,” Sirius remarked casually and Remus's eyes flew open as he snatched the phone back from his fellow passenger.
“Then that's enough. I still need it.”
“Oi! So what am I supposed to do? Talk to me, then.”
Remus frowned and then after a brief rummage in his bag pulled out another book. He had finished it a couple of days ago and was planning to return it to the library today, but since he couldn't make it to the university, the book might as well entertain his travel companion. With that thought, he handed the book to Sirius.
“What's this?” he asked in surprise, raising his eyebrows.
“A book. I thought you weren't blind. Take it or leave it.”
“Charming. You hate conversation that much?” Sirius muttered, but he accepted the book, thumbing through the yellowish pages with interest and studying the title. “The ABC Murders. A detective story?”
“Agatha Christie,” Remus nodded, turning his attention back to his own book. “Timeless classic. I think you’ll like it. It’s one of my favourites by her. Just don’t crease it for heaven’s sake, I need to return it to the library.”
After that, time began to flow steadily. The blizzard still raged outside, the strong wind was rocking the carriage almost imperceptibly. People conversed in hushed tones, some continued to murmur complaints, some were laughing quietly and some were watching films on their phones. Clothes rustled softly, shoes shuffled, pages rustled. From somewhere on the highway outside the distant honking of cars could be heard. The carriage was gradually cooling down and Remus had to pull his scarf tighter around himself and pull the sleeves of his corduroy jacket over his fingers. Sirius was leaning a little against his shoulder, still half-lying on the seats, surprisingly quiet and absorbed in the book. Seconds turned into minutes and minutes into hours.
And finally, after what felt like an eternity, the train gave a lurch and began to move. The train manager’s voice came over the speakers: “Ladies and gentlemen, we apologise for the delay. The line is now clear and we will be arriving at Waterloo Station in thirteen minutes. We apologise once again for the inconvenience.” The passengers in the carriage noticeably perked up. Remus glanced at his wristwatch. It had been about two and a half hours since he gave Sirius the book. Which meant they’d spent nearly three hours on the train instead of the usual twenty minutes. He shifted his gaze to Sirius, who was still utterly absorbed in the detective. Remus put his own book away and Sirius stirred, sitting up properly and turning his attention to Remus.
“It’s a really cool book. I like it. Didn’t quite finish though… I stopped right at the most interesting part,” he said, offering the book back to Remus, who shook his head.
“Keep it for now. Finish it. You can give it back later, it’s not like we won’t see each other again,” he chuckled and Sirius let out a quiet laugh.
They stepped onto the platform at Waterloo Station exactly thirteen minutes later. Sirius was enthusiastically recounting the book characters that had made the biggest impression on him, gesturing wildly, while Remus dodged his ubiquitous hands to avoid becoming an accidental victim.
“Hold on, I’m an idiot,” Sirius blurted out as they were about to go their separate ways at the station. “I still don’t know your name.”
Remus laughed.
“That’s usually step one. I’m Remus.”
“And I’m Sirius,” he said with a wide smile, extending his hand.
“I know,” replied Remus, shaking the hand of his new friend.
That same evening they crossed paths again. At the same hour, on the same train, in the same carriage. Remus was sitting in his usual spot. On the left by the window, facing forward. And Sirius… Sirius sat down next to him. And all the way to Richmond he actively shared his thoughts on the book, which he had indeed finished, ignoring both his university lectures and his annoying professors. A few strands of his long hair had escaped from his bun and fell over his face as he brushed them behind his ears each time, where they never stayed for long. Remus watched him, leaning back against the window, and felt a strange warm calm spreading beneath his ribs. It was… right. As if this was what his constant routine was missing. Something that could diversify it. What was supposed to do this. He listened to the inspired Sirius and almost physically felt that his world was gaining new colors. New sounds. Sirius’s laughter automatically drew an answering smile. Sirius was noisy but with him it was peaceful. Remus felt surprisingly comfortable.
From that day on, they began sitting together on the train. Always at the same hour, in the same carriage, in the same seats. Sometimes they read books that Remus brought. Sometimes they listened to Sirius’s music, sharing his headphones. Sirius continued to sing along to his favourite song, while Remus chuckled awkwardly, though secretly he enjoyed his voice. They discussed their studies, complained about the weather, traffic jams, dull books, rude people. They talked about everything during twenty minutes in the morning and twenty minutes in the evening. It became their tradition.
Gradually, winter gave way to spring. The trees began to green, the sun showed itself more often and shone annoyingly in their eyes, though its rays still held almost no warmth.
Remus would never be able to tell why he broke from his routine that morning. It seems that it all started on the train when he was arguing to Sirius that Hermann Hesse’s work wasn’t tedious but deeply infused with philosophy, and then they found themselves standing in some London alley opposite a small coffee shop.
“We’ll have coffee and you can tell me why you like this Hesse so much,” said Sirius, peaching for the door handle.
“I need to be at university,” Remus muttered, taking a step towards the entrance anyway.
“So do I.”
None of them went to university that day. They sat in the coffee shop until the evening discussing favourite authors, Sirius’s friends, Remus’s flat and, it seemed, something else, something meaningless, something amusing, something utterly silly. And Remus watched Sirius smile and was strangely captivated by his grey eyes from which he couldn’t look away, and it both strained and attracted him. And of course he couldn’t notice how Sirius was doing everything in his power to make Remus smile, to make him laugh, and Remus certainly couldn’t know about the butterflies fluttering in Sirius’s stomach whenever he caught a glimpse of Remus’s faint smile.
Their first kiss happened after seven such outings which neither of them called dates. They were just leaving a record shop where Sirius had bought a few additions to his vinyl collection. It was a warm evening. Spring was gathering momentum, more and more leaves were blooming on the trees. Here and there small shops sold the first flowers. Remus turned to Sirius to suggest stopping by the bakery before heading back, but the words died on his lips. Sirius was so close. He was watching silently, his gaze sliding thoughtfully over Remus’s figure. Remus could feel the warmth of his body, the faint elusive scent of his leather jacket.
“Sirius?” his own voice sounded unexpectedly hoarse.
The next second Sirius’s wind-chapped lips were on his. In that instant, Remus understood that everything that had ever happened in his life was inevitably leading to Sirius. Because it felt perfect. Remus cupped his face in his hands, drawing him closer, and felt Sirius’s hands settle at his waist. The evening springtime London was buzzling around them. Tree leaves rustled. Cars rumbled. Bicycles chimed. Strands of Sirius’s hair tickled Remus’s face so he brushed them back with his thumbs, unwilling to break away for even a second. This was it. This was most definitely it.
His calmness.
Epilogue
“Remus Lupin, where the hell is your hat?”
“Same place as yours.”
“Mine’s in my bag. You’ll freeze your brain right before Christmas.”
“I won’t. Once won’t kill me. We’ll miss the train.”
“Let it go to hell we’re not leaving this house until you put in the damn hat.”
“Alright, mum.”
Remus chuckled, fending off Sirius’s playful punches. And finally pulled on the long-suffering hat that had plagued them both. Ever since Sirius had barged into his life with all his insistent care, Remus’s existence had become warmer. Literally. Sirius wouldn’t let him leave the house in a light jacket during a frost or without a hat. Remus himself had never paid much attention to such things. He grabbed his bag and they finally got out of the warm house. There wasn’t much time left before the train. A snowfall was beginning and frost etched intricate patterns on the shop windows. Everything around them was decorated for Christmas.
They jumped on the train. The one they took to London every day. In the same carriage, in the same seats. On the left, Remus always by the window. Sirius spent exactly ninety seconds untangling his headphones, then offered one earbud to Remus and settled his head on his shoulder as Remus took out his book. In twenty minutes of their way Remus read twenty-six pages and Sirius listened to six songs. On that frosty windy day the train stopped after seven minutes. Remus looked out the window, but there was no station in sight. Only bare trees, houses in the distance and a highway clogged with standstill traffic. “Ladies and gentlemen, this is train manager speaking. Due to adverse weather conditions there are severe delays on the line. We are awaiting further information and will be held here for an indefinite period. We apologise for the delay.” A murmur of discontent swept through the carriage. Sirius lifted his head and looked at Remus.
“I barely had time to charge my phone.”
“It’s fine,” Remus grinned and pulled a book from his bag, handing it to Sirius.
“Detective story?”
“Agatha Christie. Timeless classic. Bought it recently, haven’t had a chance to read it myself yet, but you should like it.”
“You knew this would happen.”
“Suspected it might,” Remus shrugged and gave a soft laugh as Sirius, tickling Remus’s neck with dishevelled hair, left a light kiss on his cheek.