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Screams.
Those were the first things he heard.
Lilia's eyes snapped open to see fire the humans attacking.
He grabbed his sword and rushed forward, his magic springing up and eager to fight.
The scent of iron permeated the air.
His sword was a blur and he heard the sickening sound of blood squelching and bodies falling.
Lilia steeled himself, unwilling to fall.
He had a kingdom to protect.
The nocturnal fae noticed something odd.
The humans were faceless, their voices both there and not.
He frowned.
An illusion?
But then he sensed a prescience drifting towards him.
Towards his dream.
Oh.
That's right.
This is a dream.
And Silver is about to walk into it.
Lilia changed the dream right then and there, unwilling to let his son see it.
He'd done it countless times before.
It was easier back then.
What was once a barren land with spilled blood was now a blooming flower field.
The red sky filled with smoke turned into a bright crystal blue.
The bodies of the fallen and the living alike became trees.
Weapons become the wind that gently caressed the clearing.
There was an underlying scent of iron before Lilia forced it to become the scent of flowers once more.
Silver appeared, looking slightly startled.
"Silver! Hello child," Lilia said, appearing behind Silver.
The human startled back and Lilia giggled.
"Hello father," Silver greeted back.
The young boy looked around and Lilia was glad that he had managed to get rid of the scent that permeated the air only moments ago.
Silver walked into the middle of the flower field.
"Always the same place," Silver hummed, sitting down.
Lilia grinned slightly.
He walked over to his child and sat down.
"Well of course it's the same place. What else would I dream of?" Lilia asked amused.
It's the same place because Lilia always makes sure his nightmares turn into this.
It's far easier to change the dream than to explain.
Silver just hummed, leaning against Lilia slightly.
"I'm glad your here with us," the boy mumbled.
Lilia felt a pang of sadness that he quickly covered with a bright, but teasing, smile.
"Of course! I'm never leaving you three," Lilia declared.
That's not true.
His time is falling short.
But he'll hold on for as long as possible.
Silver nodded and fell limp.
Lilia's heart seized in his chest before he forced himself to relax.
Silver just fell into a deeper sleep.
He's ok.
He's not dead.
The boy started to fade away and Lilia knew that Silver had fallen into a deeper sleep.
Once the boy left, Lilia lost his smile.
He sighed and ran a hand through his hair.
Lilia looked at the deceptively innocent dream that flickered between the flower field and the battle field.
His chest felt tight, his limbs too heavy.
His eyes held the sorrow as his gaze drifted to the sky that flickered between blue and Grey-red.
The taste of iron was subtle on his tongue.
He ignored it.
He would keep living, keep fighting.
For them.
For the prince he raised.
For the half-fae he trained.
For the human he took in.
He had to.
Lilia walked through the halls of NRC, a grin on his face.
Then he turned a corner and saw Silver walking with Sebek.
His smile turned mischievous.
He floated up, and then the air stilled, space froze, time seemed to stop moving.
Then he was hanging upside down right in front of them, his hands and fingers out in a mock imitation of claws.
The taste of iron on his tongue was stronger.
Darkness crawled at the edges of his vision.
His stomach curled in nausea.
His magic stuttered like a dying engine.
Lilia ignored it, just like he always did.
Sebek stepped back, startled.
Silver's eyes snapped open, "Fa-Lilia!"
"Kekekeke! You two are too tense," Lilia giggled, still upside down.
"Master Lilia! You have shown that I need more spatial awareness! I shall go to training!" Sebek rushed off.
Lilia deadpanned, a pang of hurt in his heart.
He didn't want Sebek to train himself to the ground.
He didn't want Sebek to become like him.
Only living to complete duty.
Waking up and feeling like centuries were pressing down on your shoulders.
Silver just sighed but gave Lilia a warm smile, "I'm going to make sure he doesn't run himself ragged."
Before he could respond Silver already left.
Silver wasn't supposed to be the one taking care of people.
That was Lilia's job.
Lilia turned right-side up and drifted to the ground.
When his feet touched the floor he felt a wave of vertigo hit him.
He stumbled, leaning against a wall.
His breath felt too shallow.
Something warm flooded up from his throat.
It tasted like iron.
He swallowed it back down.
He plastered back on his smile, forcing his eyes to gleam.
He can't let anyone see.
His limbs felt heavy, his chest felt too tight, and moving his feet felt like he was dragging a boulder.
Lilia walked back to Diasomnia and when he stepped through the mirror he saw Silver and Sebek training with Malleus observing.
Lilia had often thought about telling them.
He wondered if he should tell them all about how quickly his magic is failing.
He often thought of telling them he was dying.
The fae wondered if he should tell them how he only had a few months left.
He opened his mouth to speak but then Malleus turned to him, the prince's eyes brightening when he saw the older fae.
Lilia was suddenly brought back to all the times he took care of Malleus, teaching him to use his fire, teaching him how to walk and talk.
Silver turned too and waved, a soft smile on his face.
The fae was brought back to finding the human as a baby, raising him, teaching him, reading to him, singing to the young boy.
Sebek looked up and smiled brightly at Lilia, his eyes holding determination.
The fae remembered the day he saw the young boy training and offering to help, he remembered training the boy, introducing him to Silver, teaching him history.
Lilia's mouth went dry and his heart squeezed.
Lilia closed his mouth and gave a soft smile.
No.
He'll keep quiet.
They deserved to keep their happiness a little longer.
"Well~ it seems some people are eager to train," Lilia giggled.
Sebek nodded furiously while the other two gave small smiles.
Lilia found Sebek training during the rain, even though he would most definitely get sick.
Lilia hurried out, not caring if he got sick.
He was already dying anyway.
So what if this shortens it further, Sebek was still young, not like Lilia who was centuries old.
"Sebek! What are you doing out here?!" Lilia asked, worry in his eyes and panic creeping into his voice.
Sebek fumbled with his sword, looking away from Lilia in shame.
Sebek shouldn't be doing that.
Sebek shouldn't be looking away from Lilia in SHAME.
He should be inside, laughing, looking at Lilia with pride and happiness.
"I'm training. I need to be better, to protect Waka-sama! I need to be able to fight in all kinds of weather," Sebek exclaimed, finally looking at Lilia with fire in his eyes.
Sebek raised his sword weakly, his arms shaking.
Lilia shook his head, sorrow in his eyes.
He never wanted Sebek to become like him.
Lilia only passes on bad traits…
Doesn't he…
He needs to stop Sebek now, to make sure the boy knows he's cared for.
Lilia gently took Sebek's hands.
"Sebek. You aren't just a guard," Sebek flinched at Lilia's words.
"You're a friend. You're family. Malleus, Silver, and me… we all care for you. We don't want you getting sick. You are more than your duty Sebek," Lilia said firmly.
Sebek looked close to crying.
Lilia smiled softly and led the boy inside.
He knew it would take a lot more than just one conversation for his words to stick.
But it was a good step.
Lilia sat Sebek down on the couch and went to make coco.
Despite everyone's thoughts, Lilia was good at cooking and making things.
He just found that making things up was quite fun.
But Sebek didn't need that right now.
Silver was in the kitchen, half asleep at the table.
Lilia hated preventing the boy from falling asleep but he shook Silver gently.
"Silver. Sebek is having… issues. He needs to understand that he is loved, cared for, and more than just his duty. Grab Malleus too," Lilia informed him.
Silver sat straight up, and hurried to get Malleus.
Lilia brewed some hot chocolate and walked back into the lounge area to find Malleus and Silver pacing, going on a rant about all of Sebek's good qualities, the good memories they have of him, and so much more.
Lilia smiled softly, and gave a shocked, and quiet, Sebek his coco.
He was glad Sebek wouldn't become like Lilia.
Sebek had people who loved him.
The half-fae needed to understand that.
So Lilia was grateful.
At least someone would be able to make sure Sebek recognized the people who cared about him after Lilia is gone.
Lilia would never be able to see the boy improve, but he could be there to kickstart the process.
Lilia leaned against the wall.
He ignored the taste of blood on his tongue.
Ignored the way his vision tunneled.
Pushed past his limbs feeling far too heavy.
It wouldn't do any good to interrupt this.
He would let them keep their illusion that he was unbeatable, the strongest, and unable to die.
Lilia found Malleus staring up at the star filled sky on the balcony.
"Malleus?" Lilia appeared behind the prince.
"Lilia… I have a question?" Malleus stated hesitantly.
"What is it?" Lilia nodded his head.
He ignored the darkness at the edges of his vision.
He pushed past the nausea curling in his stomach.
"Is it wrong that I don't want the child of man to leave? That I don't want Silver, Sebek, or you to leave either?" Malleus asks, his voice small.
Lilia's eyes softened and he stepped forward, placing a hand gently on Malleus's arm.
"It's not selfish Malleus. It's normal for people to want to keep their loved ones close. It's not wrong," Lilia said gently.
Malleus stayed in thought for a while before turning to Lilia with a smile.
"Thank you Lilia. You have soothed my worries. I'm glad you won't be leaving me," Malleus told Lilia.
Then Malleus left the balcony and headed towards his room, leaving Lilia frozen there.
Lilia let out a quiet laugh.
It wasn't like his usual ones, bright, full of cheer.
This one was small, hollow, and bitter.
"I'm sorry Malleus. But I won't be able to stay long," Lilia whispered, tears blurring his vision.
He coughed into his fist.
His coughs shook and rattled his chest.
The fae wiped away the crimson on the corners of his lips and hid the red on his gloved hands.
His time was running out.
Any week from now he could just…
Not wake up.
Lilia smiled, ignoring the vertigo that leapt upon him.
He would stay for as long as he could.
Lilia found Silver late one night.
The human was still awake despite how late it was and his nature.
He seemed to be deep in thought.
Lilia had noticed that Silver's been thinner, more exhausted lately.
He's tried talking to Silver about it but the boy always brushes him off.
Lilia was frustrated but determined.
Silver had gained most of his stubbornness from Lilia but he didn't hold a candle to Lilia in terms of stubbornness and grudges.
"Silver," Lilia called, appearing next to the sitting boy.
Silver startled, scooting further down the couch.
Lilia frowned, a pang of hurt in his heart.
"Fa-Lilia! You startled me," Silver said quickly.
"Are you ok?" Lilia cut to the chase, his eyes narrowed.
Silver looked away, fiddling with the ends of his sleeves.
"I'm fine," Silver said quietly.
But Lilia knew his boy.
Lilia knew all his tells.
He had raised the child after all, had taken care of him ever since he was a baby.
The boy couldn't hide anything from the fae.
"Don't lie Silver," Lilia's words were sharp.
Silver flinched, tears forming at the corners of the boys eyes.
Lilia felt slightly guilty but he persevered.
"You aren't 'fine'. You're working yourself to the bone. You are going to die if you continue like this," Lilia hissed, his hands clenching into fists.
Parents were supposed to die before their children, not the other way around.
And the old fae would rather fight another war for another hundred years than have his three boys be like Lilia.
"I just…," Silver trailed off.
"You think it's your responsibility to care for everyone," Lilia snapped.
Silver flinched back and Lilia felt guilty but knew he hit it spot on.
Sebek had needed a more gentle and insistent approach to show him that he was truly loved.
Silver though…
He needs a more direct and sharp approach to make sure the boy can't refute anything or fall back onto old habits.
"It's not though. Because you are a person. You need rest. You deserve to be cared for," Lilia hissed out.
Silver had tears streaming down his face.
Lilia knew all too well that only one conversation wouldn't work.
But if it was continually stated and proved then maybe Silver would realize the truth.
Lilia knows he won't be able to see his child improve.
He knows that by then it would be too late.
But he can start the journey even if he may not see it to the end.
Lilia just hugged his child tightly, whispering softly to the boy.
Silver had gained Lilia's self sacrifice and that wasn't good.
Lilia would do anything he could to make sure that his three boys won't ever become like him.
When Silver finally fell asleep Lilia took the boy to his room and tucked him into bed.
Lilia summoned two pieces of paper and wrote two quick notes saying the same thing.
That Silver thought he needed to hold everything, and ignore his own wants and needs.
He slipped them under Sebek and Malleus's door, knowing those two would read it in the morning and make sure Silver never does what he's been doing ever again.
Lilia sat in his bed smiling a small smile.
He's been doing steps to prevent his three boys from becoming like him.
Now all he has to do is figure out a way to confront Malleus.
Lilia's last conversation with the prince about the issue wasn't much, just reassuring him that it's not wrong to not want your loved ones to leave.
Anytime he wanted to talk further, deeper, Malleus would seem to disappear.
It's as if the prince had a six sense to avoiding Lilia.
Though it seems Lilia wouldn't have to be the one to seek him.
"Malleus?" Lilia asked, looking up from a book he was reading that was upside down.
He had a headache but he didn't say anything.
His limbs felt heavy, and his mind felt like it was slowing down.
There was Malleus, shifting on his feet, looking far more nervous than Lilia had ever seen him.
"Lilia… I wanted to ask you something," Malleus said softly, his voice small.
Lilia frowned to himself.
Malleus's voice shouldn't be small, he shouldn't be worried like this.
Lilia put his smile back on and nodded, patting the space next to him.
Malleus hesitated before sitting next to the older fae.
"What's on your mind? "Lilia asked softly.
"I-… Are Silver and Sebek afraid of me?" Malleus whispered.
Lilia froze, his smile falling.
Compared to the boy's magic, which was bright and large, Lilia's own was dim and small, seemingly collapsing on itself.
"NO! They aren't scared of you! They love you Malleus," Lilia told him.
"But they'll leave me someday," Malleus said bitterly.
"They won't leave you until death itself sinks their claws into them. Even then I wouldn't be surprised if they found a way to come back just to stay with you," Lilia said firmly but there was an amused lilt at his last sentence.
Malleus shook his head, not seeming to believe the fae.
"But… they only stay with me out of fear. They'll leave the first chance they get," Malleus said firmly.
Lilia scowled slightly.
"Malleus, are you listening to the words you're saying?" Lilia questioned incredulously. "Silver, Sebek, and Yuu will never willingly leave you," Lilia started, looking straight at Malleus.
"But-" Malleus was cut off.
"No, you will listen to me. I've seen Silver snap looking ready to murder someone if anyone even mentions something bad about you. Sebek can and will threaten people who even suggest him leaving you. Yuu has punched people who say you're a monster," Lilia explained.
Malleus still looked doubtful.
Lilia just sighed.
"Malleus, look back on you're memories. Can you see even one instance of them wanting to leave you?" Lilia put his hands on his hips.
Malleus cast his gaze to the floor and shook his head slowly.
"Exactly. They love you and will never leave you, even in death," Lilia told the prince softly.
"But what if I hurt them," Malleus whispered.
So that's what this was about.
Worrying about people leaving due to harming them.
Lilia doesn't want Malleus to fear himself.
He doesn't want Malleus to hesitate before touching others.
He doesn't want the prince to hesitate before casting magic.
He doesn't want the boy to become like him.
Afraid of himself.
Not trusting of others.
Not getting close to anyone.
It's lonely, living like that.
Lilia refuses to let Malleus live like that.
"You could never hurt them Malleus. Even if you do they won't leave you. They care too much about you to leave," Lilia soothed, turning to Malleus to wrap his arms around the younger fae.
They stayed in silence for a few minutes, Malleus leaning against him, and Lilia's arms wrapped around the boy.
For that was what he was.
A boy.
He may be old by human standards.
But he's still a teen to the fae.
Lilia, who has lived over seven-hundred years, can only see Malleus as a boy.
Lilia's headache was only getting worse, buzzing magic assaulted his senses.
Lilia didn't comment on the wet patch on his shoulders and Malleus's shuddering breaths.
"Promise you won't leave me," Malleus whispered.
Lilia's mind froze to a halt but he made sure to appear calm.
He-…
He couldn't promise that.
Because Lilia knew his time was running short.
Knew that he didn't have much time left.
He doesn't think he'll be able to handle it if they hated him for lying.
But he would deserve it… wouldn't he?
He had killed thousands, could still see the blood on his hands, and he RAISED them.
Him, a murderer, a MONSTER.
No, he needs to stop thinking about that.
A little white lie wouldn't hurt.
"I'll stay with you for as long as I draw breath," Lilia said softly.
Malleus let out a soft sigh of relief and Lilia couldn't help but be glad the boy didn't know about the older fae's… condition.
Their was iron the back of his tongue.
His headache was worse now.
His limbs felt heavy but he moved them to the boy's shoulders and looked at the prince.
He used one hand to wipe away one of the boy's stray tears.
"Feeling better?" Lilia asked softly.
Malleus thought for a moment before nodding.
"Thank you Lilia," Malleus whispered.
Lilia smiled softly.
"You should tell them," Lilia said.
Malleus flinched back and Lilia felt sorrow well within him.
His vision slightly tunneled but he pushed through it.
"But…" Malleus trailed off, unable to put his thoughts into words.
"They will listen and make sure you know they love you," Lilia whispered.
Malleus sighed and got up, walking towards the door.
Lilia let his hands fall to his side.
His stomach churned in nausea.
The fae's magic felt strained and like it was collapsing in on itself, barely holding on.
He breathed in a shuddering breath, ignoring the scent of bile and the taste of iron.
He pushed past the way his limbs felt too heavy to move and the way his vision tunneled.
"Lilia," Malleus started and Lilia looked at the boy, "Can you come with me? I just…"
Malleus seemed to struggle with his words.
"You need some support?" Lilia offered softly.
Malleus nodded and Lilia got up.
Sebek and Silver were already waiting for them in the lounge room, playing a strategy game.
Malleus told his thoughts, occasionally struggling.
Sebek and Silver stayed silent for a long moment before they got up, discarded all formality, and hugged Malleus, Sebek much more hesitant than Silver.
Lilia could only hope these three stuck together when he left.
His time was almost up.
A few days at least.
A month at most.
He didn't have much longer left.
But he would stick around for as long as he could.
Lilia chuckled, ignoring his vertigo as he was pulled into the hug.
Lilia stood in his room, his hand holding onto the wall.
The moonlight streamed in through the window but Lilia was covered by the shadows.
He breathed in ragged breaths, a hand covering his mouth, the other against the wall.
His vision had tunneled.
The world seemed to tilt and he stumbled before gaining his feet back.
He let out another cough, more iron pooling into his mouth.
Red covered the palm of his hand.
He hunched over himself, blinking back the tears that threatened to fall from his eyes.
He needed to keep going.
To keep fighting.
For them.
Except how much longer could he hold on.
Lilia breathed in a shaky breath when his coughing fit finally stopped.
He stumbled to his chair, settling into it heavily.
He brushed away the blood that had spilled onto the corner of his mouth.
He grabbed a pen and summoned a few papers.
He tried to convince himself it was notes to the queen.
But…
They were contingency plans.
He only wrote them due to his death hanging over him like a guillotine.
Or perhaps a noose tied around his neck, slowly tightening, going unnoticed until it was far too late.
How ironic.
No one noticed but him.
They didn't notice his death looming over him.
But Lilia wanted it that way.
It hurt far less.
And perhaps he was selfish in wanting to spare them and give them a few more happy memories.
He wrote these because he knew he only had a few days left.
Lilia had kept up a bright and mischievous front, the personality he always showed, making sure no one could see underneath.
His timeline for his death had been if his magic stayed at a stable level.
But it kept declining, kept collapsing.
Which meant he had even shorter time than he thought.
He ignored the buzzing in his ears and pushed through the nausea curled in his stomach.
He wrote notes to all three, each one apologizing, each one praising them, each one telling them to look after each other, each one telling them he loved them and was sorry he couldn't stay longer.
But in those letters was also a key.
Sebek's key led to Lilia's personal armory, knowing the half-fae would only use them for good.
Malleus's key led to Lilia's personal library of spells, knowing that the prince would only use them to help others.
Silver's key led to a room filled with books of both history and fantasy, knowing the boy liked such things.
There was a sword in the center of the room and a letter addressed to Silver telling him it was his birth father's sword. But inside that room was a locked door.
The key would fit in it and there would be a stairwell leading into a hidden room.
Inside that room was a small and simple box.
In the box was a letter addressed to Silver, telling about his real father, the dawn knight, what happened to the man, everything.
But most importantly, it said that he loved Silver no matter the heritage and would always see the boy has his son.
With that letter was a necklace with what looked like a miniature crown on it with a sky blue gem.
Lilia stopped his writing holding the papers with shaking hands.
The papers had a few splotches of blood on them but Lilia felt relieved.
But then he thought for a moment before setting the papers aside and started writing another.
It was to all three of them, telling them to take care of eachother, that it wasn't there faults, and that he better not see them with him too soon.
He had already written to Maleficia and she understood but felt sorrow that he had to die.
Lilia finally set down his pen and breathed out a shuddering breath.
The buzzing in his ears was louder now.
He tasted a mix of bile and iron on the back of his tongue.
Tears blurred his vision.
"I'm sorry," the fae whispered before letting out a small, hollow, and broken laugh.
He wiped his tears and look at the full moon.
"I'll miss you all when it's time," He whispered.
Lilia had put the notes in one of the drawers of his desk a few days ago.
He knew someone, whether his boys or someone else, would discover the notes.
Currently the other three were in the training fields.
Lilia was in one of the less used rooms that still counted as a lounge area.
He could hear the crackle of the fireplace distantly.
It was an area that the four of them spent a considerable amount of time in.
Lilia let out a shaky breath, not bothering to wipe the blood at the corner of his lips.
He leaned against the wall heavily, tears blurring his vision, a book in hand.
He was hit with vertigo and fell to his knees.
He had long since excepted his death.
But he didn't want his boys to blame themselves or go back into bad habits.
Lilia had hoped to stay just a bit longer, to see the three's smiles one last time.
Lilia had always been selfish.
He let out a broken, soft, chuckled.
He leaned against the wall, shifting himself so he leaned against the side of the fireplace, hidden in the shadows.
He placed the book down, not bothering to close the page he was reading, the one where a main character's best friend, who was a side character, sacrificed themself and died.
He had accepted his death long ago.
The fae had accepted he would never be in his children's future.
His magic sputtered before collapsing.
Only a thread tethered him to the land of the living.
His head lolled to the side, resting against the wall.
His eyes slipped closed.
The buzzing in his ears was louder.
The blood at the corner of his lips kept flowing.
Distantly he heard rushed footsteps.
Familiar footsteps.
His three boys.
Oh… they got off training early.
Did they sense his magic collapsing?
But they haven't sensed it before.
No point in thinking about it now.
Lilia let a smile rest on his face.
It was small but it was real.
The door slammed open.
The buzzing in his ears got louder but he distantly hear, "Lilia?!"
He felt his magic sputtering like a dying flame before his magic finally snapped.
He succumbed to the darkness clawing at his mind.
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