Chapter Text
Chapter one: Out of Sort.
I wake up with a pounding headache to the sound of my older brother Gabe, loudly grumbling while doing his schoolwork. He's my human alarm clock at this point since he doesn't know how to be quiet, even when he knows how little sleep I get in the first place. I sit up in my bed and stare out the window for a moment before sleepily getting up out of my bed and walking through Gabe's pile of messy clothes that he refuses to clean because he's, “Too stressed with college”. I open my closet door and pick out my green zip up hoodie with a faux fur hood that I always wear, a tank top, and a pair of jeans. As expected, my brother didn't even notice me getting out of bed since he's too focused on his work.
I quietly change into my clothes, not wanting to bother him. It's not like I can even be loud in the first place but I try to be respectful anyways. Once I'm dressed I grab my bag and head towards the exit of me and Gabe’s room. As soon as I got to the door, I realized I forgot to put my pants on, god I'm tired. Of course this is when he finally notices me, looking up from his work.
“Good mornin’ Mason, did ya forget somethin’?” Gabe snickers into his hand.
I quickly turn around and walk over to actually put my pants on, my face bright red from embarrassment. Once I finish, he continues talking to me.
“Ya must be real tired to forget your pants Mace. But in all seriousness, do ya know why ya haven't been sleeping well? It's honestly worryin’ me even if I tease ya about it.”
Gabe looks at me with concern.
I turn around and rub the back of my neck, shrugging in response.
The truth is I've been having nightmares lately. I’m not going to tell him that though, it's probably nothing important anyways.
I end up spacing out for a second, memories of the nightmares lingering in my head.
“Yo Mace, ya good?
He questions
Snapping out of it, I give him a slight nod before grabbing my backpack and heading out of my bedroom’s door. I walk through the long hallway of my trailer and past my dads room, empty per usual since he's always working. Upon leaving through the front door and walking outside through the path I always take, I notice the mud from the constant rain, the light sound of frogs in the creeks nearby and the soft pitter patter of rain in the puddles. It's always the same yet, today something feels different. The nightmares, they won't stop bothering me. It's not like they were real. I was walking the same path I always take during a nightmare, but it was different, everything around me was overgrown and overly quiet, no sounds of rain, no frog noises in the distance. Whatever, it's the same today. I'm just overthinking it. I continue walking, my bus stop isn't far, only about five minutes away.
Once I'm at my bus stop, I stare off into the distance of my foggy town waiting for my girlfriend Lizzie to get here. She’s usually late since her mom is constantly yelling at her about something. I've been spacing out a lot lately, most likely from the lack of sleep I've been getting. My mind wanders to what I’ll be doing in school today, a history test, welding in tech ed, and dnd club at the end of the day. I'm excited for that, at least I have something to look forward to.
“Hi Mason”
Lizzie says softly, interrupting my thoughts.
I give her a small smile and wave. Just then, the bus arrives. I sign to her about ‘being just in time’
“Yeah..just in time luckily.”
Lizzie responds sounding even quieter than she usually does, which worries me a little. We both got on our old rickety bus and sat down together in the front seat right behind the bus driver who was smoking his cigarettes per usual. I find it kind of gross, but there's nothing much I can do about it.
Lizzie isn't talking much, just staring out the window as we drive to school. I gently take her hand in mine as silent comfort for whatever's going through her head. It's most likely something to do with her mom. I want to ask what's wrong but Lizzie doesn't really like talking about her feelings, she tends to bottle it up.
I hear Lizzie gag which makes me look up to see her covering her mouth, I squeeze Lizzie’s hand and lightly move her head to look at me. I rapidly motion asking if she's alright.
“Yeah I'm ok, it's probably just something I ate..”
Lizzie spoke into her hand with a shaky voice.
“I think it's just car sickness from the bus..” Lizzie states obviously dismissing whatever is wrong, but I decide to drop it for now.
I just put my hand on her back, gently rubbing it with my thumb. Finally the bus stops, I help her stand up and walk out the door which just finished opening. Thank god we have our first period together or I'd be really anxious thinking about her if we didn't. Me and Lizzie walk into our old rundown school that's been around for who knows how long, all I know is that my dad went here when he was my age. The bricks are a deep red, the concrete ground of the entrance is worn from decades of students walking on it, and the windows are foggy since the school doesn't have the funds to replace them. We go inside and see our friend Emma, who’s a freshman, only a year below me and Liz. She walks up to us and notices how Lizzie is holding onto me for support.
“Woah what's going on Liz, are you sick again?”
Emma questions
Lizzie just slowly nods in response. She's probably scared she'll puke if she talks. I motion my head towards the nurses office so Emma understands where I’m trying to take her.
“Yeah get her to the nurse, she’ll give Liz some medicine or just let her rest for a bit.”
Emma reassures. I nod and start assisting Lizzie towards the nurse while Emma continues heading to her first period. As we saunter through the halls, I hear some kids whisper about me and my friend group. I just ignore it, it’s been like this since elementary school. I know Lizzie is sensitive about it, even if she doesn't show it. Once the both of us enter the nurses office, the nurse lets out a pitiful sigh at Lizzie’s state.
“She’s feeling sick again I’m guessing, poor girl.”
Our nurse spoke in a gentle voice. I nod and help Lizzie sit down in front of the nurses desk, which is covered in unorganized paperwork, reminders, and jumbled up bandaids. I sit down next to Lizzie, staring at my lap. I don't want to leave her even if I end up being late to the first period.
“You know, there's been a lot of sick kids recently, Lizzie here isn't the only one”
The nurse states. I look up from my lap and tilt my head slightly. I didn't know that, but thinking about it, there have been a lot of people coughing, and less people coming to school recently. Usually, I pay attention to what's going on around me better, I don't know why I didn't notice the sickness spreading around. Maybe I just figured it was allergies. Whatever it is, I really don't think that's what's wrong with Lizzie, she hasn't been coughing, she's just been nauseous. It's not healthy to be sick everyday like this, it's worrying me. I could just be paranoid. Maybe it's something to do with hormones? I don’t really know what that's like for girls.
I lightly tap Lizzie's shoulder.
‘Is it your period?’ I gesture with my hands.
Lizzie stares at me and glares, which makes me shudder a little. I don't know what I said wrong, I was just asking a question. The nurse looks up from her computer screen.
“What did he ask dear?” Our nurse asks
“If it's something to do with my period..”
Lizzie mumbles, still scared she’ll puke just from opening her mouth. I put my hand on her back looking genuinely sorry for whatever I did wrong by asking that question. The nurse chuckles slightly.
“Oh my, be careful with questions like that Mason sweetie.”
Just then, Lizzie quickly stands up and rushes to the little bathroom that's hidden in the back of the nurses office. I follow her, opening the colorful curtain that leads to the next room and walking through the cramped space until I get to the door of the bathroom where Lizzie is already inside and as I expected, puking kneeled over the toilet. I walk in and crouch down next to her, not sure how to comfort her other than rubbing her back. I look at my other hand, spacing out again.
“Mason?’
I blink coming back to reality at the soft shaky sound of Lizzie's voice. I Look up from my hand and stare at her, noticing the thick tears that are rolling down her cheeks. I cup her face in both of my hands and try wiping the tears with my thumbs. I feel her hands come up to cover mine, leaning into the touch. I press a soft kiss to her forehead, keeping my hands against her face. I wish I could talk, I wish I was able to comfort her better, to help her better. But I can't and it's killing me to watch her cry and seek comfort when I can't provide more than gentle touches. I take my hands off her face, tugging her into a hug against my shoulder, hiding my face in her curly black hair. She continues crying, her body shaking, tears soaking my shoulder. Of course I don’t care about that, I just want her to feel better.
I hear light footsteps come from behind us and I lift my head from Lizzie’s hair to see the nurse kneeling down to talk.
“Should I call home Lizzie hon?”
Lizzie quickly shakes her head against my shoulder.
“No! Please don’t call my mom, she'll kill me.”
She muttered against my shoulder, still not lifting her head. I hug her closer against me, well aware of how much of an ass her mom is, how rude and unempathetic she is to Lizzie. The nurse seems surprised by the immediate no from Lizzie based off the expression on her face, but she's not going to call her mom if she wishes not to. I start getting frustrated with myself, Lizzie is still crying, and I can’t help with anything more than a stupid hug. I start to feel my own tears rolling down my cheeks and I hide my face back in her hair. I shouldn't be the one crying, I'm not the one in a shitty situation, Lizzie is. She's feeling like shit and I'm crying? I just feel bad for her, it has to be awful being sick every morning and dealing with her mom as well, so I shouldn't cry right now. I feel Lizzie shifting her head on my shoulder making me lift my face from her hair. She looks up and stares at my face, quietly sniffling.
“You’re crying too Mason?..”
I rapidly shake my head and wipe my tears with my sleeves.
‘No. There is stuff in my eyes’ I motion with my hands.
Lizzie sighs and wipes her own tears.
“You’re way too empathetic Mace..”
I laugh slightly, sniffling and running a hand through my hair before signing
‘You feel better Lizz? After throwing up?’ I motion
“Yeah..a little. I'm gonna lay down here for a bit, you should go to class” Lizzie suggests.
I look at her for a moment before nodding and getting up to head to my first period.